#and if i do im just proving to everybody that i cant fucking get better

[sk3l3t0n444]

im good o-O

[bang-bang-gang]

quick dynamite watch rundown

im glad that mox hasnt forgotten about lee moriarty being on the BCC shortlist, even if seemingly everybody else has. he's been so busy being away for work and he's been stepping in to help out his son(s) (im not forgetting shooter here) wherever he can, but claudio's really stepped in for much of the parenting. regal's distracted playing hard to get towards mjf. we all know what bryan's been up to. despite this dysfunctional polycule, moxley STILL wants to expand the family desperately so he's baiting lee moriarty to prove himself.

the elite vignette HURTS and i think we should stop referring to AEW and start calling it AW instead. i have little hope for them returning before Full Gear.

i LOVE lee moriarty's green hair and his neon green shorts, but i would like it better if the colours matched. god i love watching him wrestle though.

the acclaimed birthday bash is absolutely 5/5, best thing in the world. i love max casters silly little outfit i love his shorts. i love that they give billy foam fingers so he can still scissor, even though they tear immediately. i love the love they have for the fans in the audience. i love the fucking ADOPTION PAPERS. i love the risky DX reunion shoutout. i love that they never give billy gunn the mic. i love that his sons-by-blood get offended. i am kinda sad there wasn't more body horror, or sneaky swerve doing more fucked up shit to daddy ass, but i guess halloween is over :/

forget my AW idea from a few bullet points back. keep AEW in the logo but change the wordmark to Acclaimed Every Wednesday already.

you cant pay me to care for FTR but i do enjoy that they come out in acclaimed-pink and stand across them in the same colours

ok so ive been slowly making my way through the AEW back catalog and watching april 2020 now, which is the point britt and tony schiavoni become besties. so britt's segment is extra special to me. i have to say i ADORE how britt neglects to show up with renee and saraya for a sitdown (two new hires, already famous from WWE) and instead insists on doing an interview with her bestie tony, who has been at AEW since day 1 - just like her! PERFECTLY mirrored by how saraya, in her segment, talks about how AEW seemed a cool rebel thing when it started but how it gained legitimacy in her eyes when all the ~big names~ joined. britt's here to say fuck you we're homegrown and proud of it! a recurring theme this episode(*)

the colt cabana thing is insane and extremely funny to me. excalibur called him "marcia cabana's baby boy".

the BCC vs JAS fight was great, ill never ever have enough of this feud. camera suspiciously pulling away from bryan "pussy delirious" danielson & daniel "dragon slayer" garcia at all times because you *know* the moment they laid eyes on each other they [redacted].

rey fenix being too much of a good boi to use the hammer. i love you catboy

keith lee is SO upset by the shit swerve's been pulling! he's laying it all out for swerve! ("ACCUSATIONS! FALSE ACCUSATIONS!") swerve just wants to make up, keith lee wants to know who's sick enough to abet in the mutilation of daddy ass.

i was paying a lil too much attention to twitter drama earlier this week, and jade and marina got a lot of heat because their fight would supposedly be bad or boring. im OBSESSED with the fact that we barely saw them exchange 3 strikes on screen. it was just nyla taunting jade the whole time. nyla's absolutely one of my faves at the moment holy FUCK i needneedneed to see her beat jade for the TBS title sooner rather than later! vicky guerrero's voice is my sleep paralysis demon, she should be on commentary every match mainly because it would make people angry.

house of black epic >:)

TONI'S FINALLY GETTING SOME PLOT??? TONI STORM IS GETTING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT'S MORE THAN JUST "ohh i wanna fight :)"??? WE'RE SEEING JAMIE VS TONI AT FULL GEAR? aaaa

(*) to elaborate on the "fuck you we're homegrown and proud of it" statement: i'm seeing it in britt baker's promo, in the Elite vignette, colt cabana being the mystery ROH champion, even in the Acclaimed's sheer popularity to a degree. people online keep saying they should use the punk vs elite drama as an angle and i think that in this way they are??

[f0xd13-blog]

Them giving it back: my stomach empty after all the unecessary shit i had to go thorugh that they themselves creatsd!! Like i wasn't even in the conversation before because i accepted that i was framed as a fascist and tried to live my life the best i can before madonna appeared again to fuck me up... your star!!!

......

Oh well yall just don learn... the way my life was destroyed and could have commited suicide just like the rest because we have no flag to hide behind .. oh men... god will punish you all its ok

Oh no... i knew this was comming.. exactly like it always happens... god knows better

So everybody got their money from my efforts except me just like god antecipaded... ahahahah yall just never learn

When you have a good mother right? They will always think they know better... thats why they're fucked lol

Anyways wait for camps in america tired of dealing with your nazi nonsense

Oh you is treated goo because you are a football player in italy???ohhh so cute. Just wait for the italian camps anyways

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Just wait until you ork and it doesn't get recognized.... you don get with words you will get and exemplified. Just the mere fact i did all of what i did and it aint considered work when you have creatives being paid for the ideas i had is astonoshing

Oh and btw thanks because i totally got disappointed with so many stars and celebs to the point i don respect them at all anymore...god certainly doesn't aswell... yall behave like animals lol

Yah right... totally framed anf it was one of the massonical jews you have in america always oing that sort of shit to gain control of ou shit

Insta is behaving so normally like it doesn't seem tempered at all

I sure hope yo didn't had the stupid idea of putting that wrestling algorithm for everyone... because people will just notie where the nazi schemes are comming from as nobody watches that fag shit that went donwhill since the woke shit started

https://echoboomer.pt/programas-wwe-deixaram-sport-tv-em-portugal/

We don even air it here... thats how much boring it became

Angola datroyed namibia as expected because duhhh gypsy and portuguese blood where the og footballers cama from

Messi just went to saudi and straight up said to elon...

I gotta admit sometimes i just trash random people to prove a poi t... like let me beef with those niggas of course nothing i say is untrue but i do force it sometimes coz they gotta understand people ain't perfect and part of being alive is to do arguments and then make up or not but let us fight with each other and say wtv tf we want we will deal with the consequences of that WITH THE PERSON WE OFFENDED

For example i came online and they decided to put some random basketball shit... listen i only use chicano bulls because it looks hot and im a g so you know bulls and shit? Yah.. tbh... because i don even follow american leagues just never happened and we have a big futebol culture over

I just cant with this fucking t0kenism... if it wasn't him it would be a G but with more ratings

Have you ever wtached esmeralda or wtv the name is? Yah jews got jelky even of that!!!and took our jobs to be in our place while i live in third world conditions

And have to deal with this from fucking billionaries that should have humanity right? Thats what they sell right?

The level of real ass mental disability this people have that they had to stretch the fucking meaning of a gypsy with a person with disability and the bond that happenedd because we was both targets of jewish nazi germany but still they had to even HAVE TYAT!!! CRAZY

Like it doesn't even make sense because your budddies was the ones genociding us and thats why we created that bond even using the image of a clown (you know typical clown visit at the hospital?) Yah.. well years later they even WENT FOR THAT... like now i have a jew in my place performing and getting along with people with disabilities in my place! Thats how insane this people are!! Diversite it to basically rob me of my only role ahahah

Soms people think they arr fixing me but they got it all wrong... yall the ones that need to be fixed omg

[memurfevur-archive]

this is a reflective vent, do not comment or send asks about this, do not reblog this, its here because i need to let it out

it feels like im alone. it always feels like im alone. it feels like im leagues apart from people, like theyre so far away from me, even the ones that consider me their close friend.

i know im not the best at handling myself or my emotions, and i fear its going to make me actually alone. i mess up far too often to deserve the people who choose to stick around. even though im always afraid of everyone finding someone better than me to love.

im always afraid of being left behind. like someones friendship or trust or love in me isnt real. and like, why would it be when im just some pathetic worthless fuck up who cant control themself, who wasnt supposed to live past 18?

looking at people having fun, plotting their characters, doing their plots, doing their streams, hanging out

there is some sort of bitterness in me. some sort of vibe that says im not needed or wanted, that im not actually a part of whatever community im trying to be a part of, that ill be left behind again like ive been countless times by people in the past. people who used me, assaulted me, beaten me, lied to me, betrayed me. people who ghosted or blocked me without explanation other than someone told them to. people who were forcefully taken away from me. im bitter because i want this person, or character, or thing to myself, because i feel safe enough to not be hurt. safe enough to pour love and comfort into them. safe enough to say "mine <3" without fear. "my" friend. "my" lover. "my" blorbo. "my" plot. most often, "my" ships.

but theres always going to be someone prettier

funnier

friendlier

smarter

creative

more liked

and that makes me feel threatened. like im going to lose everything like grains of sands between the fingers again.

someones going to replace me as a friend or a lover. someone is going to replace my characters with someone else's. someone likes someone or something else better than me.

and i know its not fair for everybody else

im so ready to feel alone that it hurts people. im so ready to feel alone that i construct versions of people who are so, so mean to me in my head even though in reality they're fine. i feel like i have to have something to prove, something to bring to the table; i have to feel needed and wanted or I constantly worry that i wont be.

once upon a time when i was little id pray to God to help me be better at problems i was facing. but it felt so empty. i never did get better. and this feels similar. i have a problem, and it feels empty. but i dont know if im God, or if the people around me are, and regardless of who plays God i keep messing up and not getting better.

i need therapy, but i cant get therapy right now.

[pinksparklelps]

Rant time

School

Thats it. Thats why i think like this

Because school fucks me up so bad

I always repeat one like whenever i think of it: “it just feels like written proof that im a failure”

Im stuck in this endless cycle of having to do something, fearing im not doing it right, stopping before i get hurt, not meeting the expectation, and feeling like a failure

Because all i ever hear about is how i need to do good in school, i need to get everything done, i need to do my best, ect ect

But my best isnt fucking good enough. I think back to that one teacher who absolutely destroyed my motivation to want to learn french. Ive always loved french culture and wanted so badly to speak french because i was so passionate and excited. And she fucking striked me down so fast with just one email sent to my mom, all because I didn’t know anything that was going on because i was recovering from surgery for a month. That wasnt my fault, but i feel so completely responsible for not being as good as everyone else

And im scared that accepting help on anything essentially means that im not good enough and am constantly relying on others but i NEED to prove that i can do it. I dont need help i just need to be better

And because of what happened with middle school and refusing me an iep for my autism makes me feel like i dont deserve help either. I just need to figure it out eventually and everything will be okay and i wont be a failure anymore

Everything i do has to be because someone told me to or wants me to. Its never about what i want. I have to bend over backwards for everybody else

I always hated that phrase “you dont always get what you want” because I NEVER. Got what i want. I never got to choose the game me and my friends played, i never got to choose how i wanted to do things, i never got worthwhile friendships, I never got to be okay.

You all know my sona has the red and blue lines on her cheeks? That one simple design choice has the deepest meaning of all the things i put on myself. They were put on my cheeks to specifically look like tears. Red for how fucking angry i am at the world, and blue for how endless my sadness feels. Blue specifically on the right because it overtakes the most.

It feels like all anyone thinks im good for is what i can do for them and how well i can get it done

Like i cant even control my own life

[burnedpages]

if we never parted ways that very first time... right after our first kiss.. we would be in such a different place right now.

we would be happy..

we were happy.

everything was so amazing.

it feels like it was forever ago at this point.

days turn into weeks. weeks turned into months.

twice.

in a few months it will have been a whole year.

people keep saying that i deserve to be treated better and that I deserve somebody who wakes up wanting to talk to me so they actually talk to me. when they want to see me, they see me. when they say they love me, they prove it.

but i wanted all of that with you..

why is it so hard to get somebody to fucking stay for once???

people keep telling me you're not the one.

if not you, then who?

I just wish things never changed.

why can't somebody love me enough to love me. ?

to stay..

everybody always says one thing and then does another.

im tired of my whole life being a never ending loop of cycles.

maybe she was right when she said im hard to love.

i miss how things use to be...

and im afraid that when you do come back-

im going to be too numb to the situation to react.

im going to be closed off because now im scared all over again.

and for good reasons.

what if we're living together one day and you just up and decide to leave again?

I cant be worried about people always leaving. but that's all I worry about because that's clearly all that ever happens.

[widevibratobitch]

so tired of people acting like all music composed before 19th century is worthless garbage. 'haha look this 1780s comedy about contemporary class issues isn't as dramatic and harmonically complicated as this 1870s epic tragic drama about mythological gods and heroes'. are you perhaps fucking stupid

[ishouldnotbhere]

the build-up of barou’s king moment 😩 i know it’s just around the corner aaaaaa and how amazing of aiku’s flow to be activated by everyone’s individual plays and (almost) flow moments?? captain ought to show off before blue lock ends them (?) CANT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK

AAAAAAH IKR omg I love how Barou just does not give a flying fuck what people think! Somehow I wish we could see the midfielders’ and strikers’ (Sae’s and Shidou’s) reactions to Blue Lock’s offenses??!

It’s weird because you would think Barou and Shidou would be similar in terms of their unpredictability and spontaneity, but Barou’s behavior actually seems to somehow contrast Shidou’s. Compared to how blatantly Barou barrels through others, dismisses their presences, and ignores their contributions to the team play, Shidou, weirdly enough, is much more… cooperative. It’s incomprehensible to even conceive of Shidou as a collaborative dude, but there’s evidence to demonstrate it. He butts heads with Rin, who is unwilling to acknowledge Isagi’s quick thinking on the field, because unlike Rin, Shidou truly enjoys good soccer. Unlike the others, who all have their own motives unrelated to soccer (Reo’s attachment to Nagi, Rin’s desire to outmatch his brother, even Kunigami’s goal to be a “hero”, etc.), Shidou’s interest is decidedly pure. Untainted. It’s just fundamentally, unabashedly, soccer. He loves the game fiercely. That’s all the reason he needs to play it.

Shidou just expresses his passion in a crude way (the whole “seed” and “womb” and “breeding” analogy). And yeah, it’s fucking weird, but it just goes to show Shidou basks in soccer at its core—a team-based sport in which the greater the individual talent, the more vibrant the outcome. And Shidou loves that. He acknowledges teammates who bring that dynamism to the game, who invigorate it, and it excites him even more to integrate it. His sexuality is soccer basically, lmao. I see him as the kind of person who’s willing to date anyone of any gender as long they’re good (as per his standards) at the sport. It’s why he’s more than happy to give Isagi the spotlight, back when he was in Blue Lock. It’s why he plays synergistically with Sae, and lets Sae take the lead, because he greatly admires Sae’s strategy and ability. Shidou really is quite animalistic and childlike in nature, but not in a bad way. His basest instincts are grounded in soccer. All someone needs to do is ignite or peak his curiosity, and he’ll be all over them.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched Hunter x Hunter, but Shidou sort of reminds me of Gon. Gon gets a lot of bad rep from the fandom, but what people forget is that Gon was literally just a child raised in isolation from the rest of the world. So his overtly extreme, violent reactions to traumatic events stems from the fact that his undeveloped, childhood insecurities, which had yet to mature, were now buttressed by incredible power that no child could understand, manage, or even ought to have. In the same way, Gon’s immediate attachment to new friends who match his level of talent arises from an essential lack of familial support throughout his growing years. While I’m not saying that Shidou actually had that sort of upbringing, his instantaneous bonds with players of similar capability, as well as his erratic mood swings between things which pique his interest and things which don’t, mirror that sort of childlike immaturity. But they’re not irrational. They can be explained (if not justified); they’re amoral, rather than immoral. It’s kind of sad, then, the way everyone treats Shidou as some sort of demon, when in fact his passion for soccer is the clearest out of everyone else’s.

Man, do I want Shidou’s backstory already.

Barou, on the other hand, is a beast of his own caliber. This guy is, weirdly enough, worse than Shidou because there’s no fucking possibility he’s going to play nice with anyone else on his team. I feel he truly embodies the spirit of “ego” Ego was trying to instill in Blue Lock. Barou’s connection to soccer is the precise opposite of Shidou’s; the other end of the spectrum: if Shidou’s is unadulterated (“soccer for soccer’s sake”), Barou’s is wholly selfish (“soccer for my sake”). Unlike Reo, Nagi, Kunigami, Isagi, Bachira, Rin, or literally anybody else, there was no sense of human attachment or feeling of personal insecurity that sparked Barou’s passion for soccer. His backstory proves that the literal reason Barou likes soccer was, well, he was just better than everybody else. I’m the King. I’m the only one who belongs, and all of you will bow. Which, of course, is not how soccer, or any team-based sport for that matter, works, and that’s why he’s going to come in clutch for Blue Lock. He’s a singularity, and he’s single-handedly going to rock the game off its course. The thing about experts going head-to-head is that experts know what the other might play. What is truly fearsome is the beginner, and the person who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about the rules. I, for one, am so excited to see this match unfold!

[stronghours]

CUSTOMER SERVICE

E T S Y

Darling Fallon    Sep 3, 2013

Sensational (sin-sational!). i write on behalf of myself (S) and my lover (m). we have been ripped off by bulk-produced molded hoods before and i can only say HAND CUT LATEX ONLY never look back!! worth the money and will eventually pay for itself. neck fit like loving glove and adds dynamic intensifier to breathplay. Lovely proprietor replied prompt when “m” had questions re: breathability (she added extra breathing hole at no extra cost). class acts all around (and not just in our dungeon!) will return for more but “m” needs a break first if u get the drift lol1!! thanks to lady j!

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Latex Chrysalis Hood (translucent…

3 Helpful

  myMister   Aug 24, 2013

this one writes on behalf and with permission of MISTER. this one quaked with bliss when package arrived. truly awful to behold in the wise hands of MISTER. this one’s neck is small and delicate For His Pleasure and all item adjustments were made to order and did not affect shipping time. if this one could be so efficient For His Pleasure this one would be in heaven on earth. instead, this one is less than a hole. item truly enhanced <O sensation. without a doubt will be used over and over in this household for due punishments of this very worthless one. discrete pgk’ing. thanks to designer J for deepening this one’s service to MISTER.

(NOTE FROM MISTER – WILL PROPRIETER PLEASE PRIVATELY EMAIL TO DISCLOSE IF YOU ARE MALE/FEMALE/OTHER SO “myMister” (this one) WILL BE ABLE TO PROPERLY ADDRESS YOU IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FORMAL ROLE)

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Throttle Collar w/ attached Gas…

1 Helpful

  JulieJuice   August 3, 2013

LOL rip-off!!! cant believe all u ppl sucking this guys dick. says everywhere in product descript. (and you guys reviews!!) that custom sizing is no additl. cost but mine cost more!! only small alteration to titty holes cause of my cleave situation. bullshit. not buying from him again.

Response from J

Hi again Julie. If you check our many enlightening inbox conversations from 7/5-7/16 you will be reminded the additional cost was due to your request of more ring hinge insertions as the standard amount in pattern block “was not bling enough”. Cleavage was irrelevant. Sizing related alterations are always no added cost. Custom alterations requiring additional materials/effort and adjusted pricing will always be discussed and approved on client end before any exchange of payment.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Hexagon Restrictor Harness…

HELPFUL?

  HannahCakes!    Jun 1, 2013

Hey Whats Up I’m Caleb (obviously don’t have an etsy) and using my lady’s account. She got the catsuit for my birthday and she looked so sexy like J-Lo or someone. Didn’t want her doin the latex stuff because I thought shed have to shave off all her pubes and personally i like that kind of thing a lot but no harm done. Anyway she was super sexy and the suit thing looked good and stayed together even when we started rockin. To other full bush guys out there if youre girl wants to wear the latex stuff SHE CAN KEEP HER BUSH she just has to use lube to oil up the bush that she has.

Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Domina Catsuit w/ Pussycat Zipper (red…

7 Helpful

  HannahCakes!   3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Caleb Review

Hi J,

Saw my boyfriend’s 6/1 review and I was like uh ohhh. I asked him to leave one because he went gaga over the catsuit, but I wasn’t expecting all the bush stuff. If you don’t want to be associated with that and want to delete, that’s ok on my end. A little embarrassing! – Hannah!

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Hannah. Please don’t worry about it, any positive review is welcome. His feedback has apparently hit a chord with some specific hesitations and concerns buyers have been experiencing but not confiding with me, so I plan on keeping it up for the time being. Enjoy your garment.

  JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Moo-cow snout muzzle thing – (idea i had)

Hi. Is this idea good

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend   Ignore

Hi Joey. Are you interested in a custom cow muzzle/mask, like the pup play masks on my page or are you just brainstorming for personal reasons?

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

idk it’s just an idea i had

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

It’s a cool idea

Reply from JoeyoftheHerd    3 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Thanks man i thought so 2

1234Brett10093456    3 months ago   Friend   Ignore

I REMEMBER YOU FROM RAWHIDE

JULES yes I know who you are and I know your name are you scared yet?? I remember when you used to hang with Roscoe out at Rawhide because Roscoe pretended to hire you because he secretly wanted to fuck and suck you till you cried and I saw all that. I have brown flippy hair, blue eyes and am tall/cut versatile but lean TOP. I know you faked being gay. You heard of bi-now-gay-later but have you heard of gay-then-straight-betrayer (you)? That is fucked up that you still sell stuff but pretend to be a gay guy because that makes your stuff sell better because the gay guys want to fuck you. I know you are faking because my muscle bud Tomas (latino) saw you making out with a ginger chick at the wet bar in Entrance last week. He said it was probably a joke but I know it wasn’t because he said he saw tongue. I wont let you be a breeder without a fight. I am willing to tell EVERYBODY YOURE SECRET. But I wont if you prove to me YOU CAN STILL BE GAY. Im attaching a pic of my cock so you know im not lying and can follow through. I will only believe YOU ARE GAY if we can see each other face/face (i can host only on fri- I have two roommates) and our cocks have to touch and you have to stay hard for at least five minutes while I suck and jack your cock and tongue your balls (shave or dont i will leave that up to you). condoms ok but if you want to be a breeder so bad maybe I will just breed your ass but if youre actually a gay guy you’ll like it and cum thick ropes as I fuck your dirty little slut hole and youll tell me youre a hole while I fuck it with the shiny precum head of my cut fucking cock (7inches erect). you will smell my hole and BECOME GAY again IT WILL HAPPEN  - Brett Costino

  TheSteelyDanMan   2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

Latex & Breastfeeding Concerns

Good morning, J I hope you are well. Returning customer, here. My kajira/wife and I are splinter Gor lifestylers (NOT KAOTIANS) [link] but are currently isolated due to our deviation from standard kajira beautification ideals and the arrival of our first child (girl - Gemma) two months ago. My wife’s submission has usually been expressed fashion-wise in various strict latex outfits, a few of which you have kindly provided us over the past couple of years. Naturally, the arrival of a mini-me results in some changes! My wife, insecure after birth, wants to return to strict full-coverage latex, but this desire is at odds with her physical situation of actively nursing Gemma and we both have worries. Does the constriction of latex effect or otherwise harm milk production, or could secondhand latex exposure harm our baby? I imagine you have catered to many lifestyle situations where this might be relevant so I thought I would ask. Thanks very much. LEO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    2 months ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Leo. While I have catered to many lifestyles, I’m afraid I must exercise discretion in this situation, as it would be on par with giving medical advice. I will say any allergy is a possibility and one should exercise undue care with a very young infant, not just in matters of latex. I highly encourage you and your wife to discuss this with her doctor as frankly as possible. In the long run it might be worth reevaluating aspects of your wife’s submission and temporarily making do with latex pieces that do not restrict the breasts, while nursing is a part of her daily reality (I’m sure I don’t have to tell you examples are available on my page). Best of luck and congratulations on the new addition to your family.

  NoraBarnacle    2 months ago   Friend   Ignore

A sincere offer…

Several months ago, I bought a pair of latex gauntlet gloves from your shop. Since then, astonishing changes have come over me. I used to be high-powered, highly controlled, a formidable woman (natural ash blond, green eyes, 45”-40”-44”) I was determined to keep these feelings to myself, but I can no longer resist, as I wholeheartedly believe your Dominating spirit, imbued in the gauntlets, is leading me forcefully but masterfully into your care. If it pleases you, know I have not touched my aching slit for one month total as I am uncertain whether you desire me to feel pleasure that is not approved by you. There are no images of you on your site, but I have drawn an accurate picture of you in my mind and I know you are the Man that I never knew I was waiting for, the Man who will lead me, the Man who will hold my neck and strike my forehead to his knee in his insistence that I allow myself to be led. When I wear the gauntlets, they are your own gallant hands restricting my weak bones. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I do not desire to resist. Please message back so I can properly present my acquiescence, body and soul, unto you. I squat disgracefully on my plump thighs, full of whorish tremor that makes me unworthy, but still I desire. I will service your home with my ardent hands and service your thick and striving cock with my wet tongue. Respond to this small soul. I submit to your gallant wisdom – A Secret Admirer

  RicoMetals   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Redhead Modle in Pic for Serve Her Serrated Corselette

Hey man-to-man who is she. I love redheads. Does she modle for other people/would she modle for my pieces? there’s no head in the pick – what’s her nose situation? we could all do collab and I think it would be hot. Let me kno - RICO

Reply from DeMarco FetishWear    1 month ago    Friend    Ignore

Hi Rico. I have not blocked you (yet) because said model wanted me to reply to you first and inform you, she’s already an established performer in her own right and does not want to model for a guy who “thinks I need some sissy seamstress to pimp me out to shitty welders online”. As I only have basic welding experience, I can offer no further comment or defense on your behalf.

  DerryBerry454   1 month ago   Friend   Ignore

Inquiry re: standard leather sleep-sack dimensions

Hello Miss J, quick question:

I will buy this item no hesitation no delay if you tell me right now about your vagina. Questions I prioritize:

1.     Color labia (outer)

2.     Color labia (inner – aroused)

3.     Clit length in centimeters or whatever measurement is most flattering to you

4.     Range of clit engorgement

5.     Depth of vaginal canal (I will allow ballpark figure as I know not everyone has graded speculums lying around)

6.     Percentage of clit orgasms v. vaginal orgasms – bonus points if you describe uterine orgasm, if that is your experience (no pressure to answer last part, as I understand it is not necessarily vagina-adjacent)

7.     Are you hairy? What color?

8.     When you wash your vagina do you douche or do you use fingers to rub through labia folds and that is it?

9.     Color of menstrual blood

10.  If you wear panties, do you find the crotch of your panties degrades due to PH of your vaginal discharge? (give me the qualities and I will calculate this for you)

While a picture of your vagina is welcome (and will only be for my private use) I really do like gathering these stats (I’m kind of a nerd) and would appreciate as much openness on your behalf as possible and you will benefit too because I’ll give you money for your lovely product. Talk to you soon! 😊

  B O A R D

[RUBBERVALLEY FIENDS THREAD 3/3 2006-PRESENT] TOPICS: 850 POSTS: 10,356

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Hey people, we’ve reached the end of the summer and you know what that means – Ivan himself of the halls of Rubber Valley presents inaugural post of their annual sweeps week filming extravaganza – first photoset already up and we’ve got the goddamn brilliant LYDIA SUCKS sons! The greatest bitch on the face of the planet almost psyched us out but she’s here she’s low and she’s ready to blow. Vid upload will probably take till tomorrow to render but we’ve got some great pic galleries already. Ivan really spoiling us pigs lmfao. Seeing lots of setup and dress-up and behind scenes stuff for yall candid pervs. We’ve got full body latex and face coverage hoods and I see a breathing tube and the barn inversion setup. Possible inverted ceiling fuck? The boys can dream. Links to download pics results in PERMABAN – only official links to Rubber Valley site allowed, don’t know how often I have to say it. You want to pass ripped screenshots you do that through email *casts pearls before swine*

GOBgobGOB: no pic of lyds upside down yet ☹

LordJim: Not interested until I see Ivan haul out the FuckRacers from two years ago – wonder why he doesn’t bring those around more often? Great view stats on current vids and who doesn’t like a fat ass getting auto-fucked while she steers the go-cart supine?

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao all views are you bro

GOBgobGOB: D I R E C T H I T

SUCKPUNTER: hey lordjim where’d you learn the word supine

LordJim: Yeah “laugh out loud” very funny guys.

SUCKPUNTER: did you learn it at college

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Lydia looks gr8 folks. Queen pristine and ready to cream. SUCKPUNTER – chill out because I’ve got my eye on you. Don’t take the bait Jim. You’re like thirty.

SUCKPUNTER: at least I don’t get off on bitches doing the pinewood derby

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: LYDIA!

GOBgobGOB: LYDIA!!!

McLovin: LYDIA LYDIA LYDIA

TheWorldofMartinAmis: Goddess. Wish she’d get her boobs done though.

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: same! I’ve been waiting for years for her to get into xtreme body mod. Right up her alley. If she’s at EXXXOTICA EXPO next year I’m going to try to get her meet and greet and ask. I know tattoo guys who’d pay HER to give her first tat.

McLovin: Lydia wouldn’t go. She’s like indie transgressive.

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): nice to see you again lockSTOCK. I see your POV but Lydia has several interviews where she says most of her viewers see her bod as a clean palate in the art of pain – as in, wounds have to go away in order for us to appreciate a fresh ruining ; ) tats and huge implants are a little tougher to work around. Anyway in my mind you can fix bad tits but you can’t fix bad attitude

ThatOneFootGuy: id suck her feet

McLovin: woah fuck 4th latex pic in dressing series with her mouth open and her eyes shut – who the lube guy with his arm right down her front?

SUCKPUNTER: lol hand clear to her pussy and hes not even hard faggot

McLovin: scope the ginger amazon in the background with camera – new girl? Don’t recognize. Didn’t know Ivan was bringing new people around this year’s sweeps.

LordJim: I wondered too when I saw. I’m sure DungeonMaster mod understands if I copy/paste following from Ivan (no pics, text w/actress info):

Newcomers are always welcome in RUBBER VALLEY (especially if they’re lovely, and especially if they’re ladies!) and this old goat is pleased to welcome DOMME LUX, our friendly neighbor down south in that little town called Chicago. Mysterious as she is alluring, you’ll see her shining light sampling tidbits of delight off our Valley Girls throughout the uploads this month (or even taking a crack at a couple!) We’re just getting to know her, but I have a feeling she’s a generous gal at heart as she kindly offered us the services of her Personal Valet, Jules DeMarco, who himself spoiled us all year with devious latex devices for our steadfast daring dollies after the unfortunate 2012 passing of our beloved torture designer Merrick Marvel (memoriam post 03/04/2012). Check out Jules’s Half-Bag Breast Mummifier in scheduled post 7/22 (Heather Bunny in the inverted Wench Wrench) the diabolical Arachnae-Hood (Lacey Jane, spinning in our trusty Landscape(her) Rolling Pin 7/16) and the Double-Fuck Full Body Boa Binder with eerie inflatable bubble hood (Lydia Sucks, finale post 7/31, don’t miss it, SUBSCRIBE). I must confess, we took advantage - the poor fella ran himself ragged helping us with film prep all week. So as an apology we let him get up close and personal with Rubber Valley’s reigning heroine LYDIA SUCKS fitting her in a custom four-limb black latex catsuit with half-face hood, made especially for her brave beautiful bod. He takes a good long time greasing her up before Ivan and Barry get her hoisted and joisted and in her best bitch-bat position among the rafters of the exalted Rubber Valley barn, where we leave her to squirm in terror! (but let’s get real – what scares Lydia? We’re wracking our brains!) Uh-oh, is Domme Lux looking jealous in the background? Is she plotting a little comeuppance for our Lovely Lady Lydia? Only one way to find out – SUBSCRIBE!

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Np lordjim, if you hadn’t posted I was going to. Looks like we’ve got fresh meat in the valley.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: very pretty girl, but always bummed when a new one turns out to be top. Call me old fashioned, I come to the Valley for slaves.

SUCKPUNTER: firecrotch

GOBgobGOB: brb too busy crankin it. milky gingerbread titties come to daddy

McLovin: @TheWorldofMartinAmis, Ivan always has at least one femdom around. Room for everybody in the valley

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: holy shit I know that guy.

SUCKPUNTER: lmfao faggots know faggots

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: no for real. His real name is Jules Marinelli. I worked with him one summer lifeguarding beaches for the park’s district. Our boss found his website where he sells his sex stuff, and it was this whole big thing. Found the kink club Entrance through that (check it out if you’re in my hood ever – huge, clean, not too much gay shit, great ladies of all stripes hanging around, but limits on drinking if you’re trying to access certain levels). He’s bi. He’s either secretly Domme Lux’s slave or Domme Lux is his slave and it’s mega on the DL because it’d hurt her career if it got out she could ‘verse. There’s all this gossip.

SUCKPUNTER: bi guys r fags

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): SUCKPUNTER – that’s strike one. lockstock – not deleting your post because from what I can see JDM doesn’t/isn’t acting in explicit scenes, but let’s cool it with doxxing info. Looks like he’s had an experience with that before, and as a small business owner myself, I know how it can suck. We aren’t gossiping high school girls. Settle back and enjoy what Ivan gives us.

GOBgobGOB: *sees dudes in the chat and stops jacking off*

LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: NP mod, feel free to delete it later before it causes problems.

TheWorldofMartinAmis: going back to previous discussion – don’t think a breast job automatically constitutes body modification

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): think about it martinamis, it’s a slippery slope – you want to see some swollen battered fish get destroyed, or a fresh natural girl get destroyed?

SUCKPUNTER: i am not a faggot and a whore’s a whore and im here to see whores fucking destroyed

GOBgobGOB: *tony soprano voice* she was a HOOOOER

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt all whores get fucked

LordJim: Mod, step up. This isn’t going to get better. With all due respect

SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt ALL WHORES GET FUCKED

DungeonMaster (MOD 2): yeah, already done. That should be the last of him. Don’t know why I expected that situation to turn out differently.

  FROM: lydias-verified@terrorproductions.com

TO: JulesDM86@gmail.com

Subject: Debrief – valley week

Jules,

As discussed, attached is current info for my old webmaster service from when I had to run my own fansite. Decent price and decent vendor system. Can only be an improvement on what you have now. That is not an insult, but I know it sounds like one. Stay with me.

[link] [link] [link]

And above, the top three most trafficked boards I’ve found following my own career and the rubber valley gang. We’ve caused quite a stir already and its only July 15th. I wouldn’t count on this causing an uptick in your business, but I think you know that. The standard gentleman at home spending twenty bucks a month for guaranteed links to a woman being fucked inside out while wearing a sensory deprivation hood simply doesn’t translate him to spending 100-200 dollars, contacting a seller, taking measurements, and going through the effort to order he and his special girly the hood itself. But I know you believe you’ve chosen your life the same way I believe I’ve chosen my life and won’t whine. I will say, if your ego is bruised, that your clothes are wonderful. They feel maybe half like death. I’ll wear them again and again.

On a funnier note: I have accounts myself on all the above message boards and post semi-regularly. It might amuse you to do the same thing, but you need to be careful regarding your identity. Feedback from viewers is never relevant, but it needs to be pure (don’t ask me why – my brains are fucked out). I won’t tell you who I am, and you won’t tell me who you are. Maybe we’ll find each other.

I wouldn’t tell your Cathy, since some sensitive (if inaccurate) information is flying around. Your instinct towards privacy, while cute and old fashioned, is an apt instinct. Looks like the good people of Chicago can’t keep their fucking mouths shut. Will you be able to find a straight job if your work now goes up like a dead dog’s gut? Don’t despair. Your nice long cock dropped so well down my throat while your Cathy beat my clit with the edge of your belt (nice touch – whose idea was that?) so while you might not get another chance to perch in a lifeguard’s throne, you might very well have a future in film. You’re vigorous, discrete, disciplined, clean, and a cutie-pie. Have your Cathy make some films of you alone or you two together. It’ll excite her, so you have no choice but to be excited yourself. You’re excited reading this. You believe you chose this.

Anyway – Cathy! Don’t be insulted on her behalf. I loved playing with you both. She’s kind and a lot of fun, which are virtues I still let myself appreciate in others. Let her know I appreciate how she let me use you. She’s a good girl and has a good future in store, especially with her personal valet running her life. Pick her outfits, pick her makeup, pick her clients, pick her laundry soap – is it already like that? I want to be buried alive, but you want to be buried in chores. Please dream big, Jules.

Rubber valley is where I have the most fun out of all the shoots I have in a year, but I really was lucky that you two showed up. Poor old Merrick Marvel (not even that old – colon cancer). But out with him and in with you. I enjoyed our river talk and I felt very safe in the car with you at the wheel, though I know I tormented you a little (but I’m pretty sure Cathy helped you out later with that – will you write back to me what she did to you, and if she let you come?) At one point you were with Ivan in the garage, and I tried to have a little talk with her about oblivion, but she either understood my point and got scared, or simply didn’t understand. It’s unfortunate, kind of soul-sucking, how our dominant “loved ones” transform into necessary evils. Adjust the tube. Grasp the handle. Move the thigh. Use the vocal cord to form the order. But what do they know? I never knew how to explain.

I’ve attached some personal pictures of me. I like knowing that you have them. I won’t contact you again except under strict business purposes, so let me sum up. Serve Cathy well. Don’t let her get bullied. Flourish creatively. Keep that belt. Fuck as often as your body commands you to fuck (if I suspect that sometimes your body is Cathy’s body by proxy, then this number will double, perhaps triple, but the choice is out of your hands because she owns your cock). You have a lot of growing up to do. Don’t despair. More to come.

We won’t see each other soon, but we’ll see each other again. Ciao! 

I expect improvements.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Lydia S

[babyloniastreasure]

right so i just got done crying on and off for the first three hours of my day and i think i deserve a bit of unloading into the internet about it

dont mind me i just,,,dont have a support system anymore lol and i need some kind of fuckin release. feel free to ignore

so the last week in particular has been extremely rough and today I almost asked to go to the hospital in the hopes of like, idk. getting some sort of help. I have never been this depressed or hopeless before in my life and I’ve never had so much nothing as I do now. I lost all of my friends and my only support. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I look at my projects and my art and I can’t stand them because everything has memories attached to people who hate me and want nothing to do with me. People who have ignored me for five fucking weeks after telling me “We want to fix this.”

i’m hardly sleeping. im constantly exhausted. im physically nauseous because i cant eat from the stress and anxiety, granted i remember to eat at all or have the energy to get up to get anything in the first place. emotionally im an absolute wreck. I can’t focus. nothing is enjoyable. there’s nothing TO enjoy, because everything i had before was everything they took away. I’ve been left in the dust after they told me they still cared. so clearly that was a lie. if they cared they wouldnt have left at the drop of a hat like that

Even my family has noticed that i’m not okay and they’re starting to ask questions. i feel bad every time i brush them off but I cant let them know how bad things really are. i cant tell them that every hour i have to fight the urge to hurt myself again. that every time i have a second of free thought i think, hey, wouldn’t it be so satisfying to make yourself bleed again? and yes! it would be satisfying! but that’s not a pit i want to fall into again. it had me for years and it took even more years to break. and even though I have the awareness to not go through with it and can recognize it’s not actually going to help in the long run, it’s so exhausting when that’s my first go-to solution. And like yeah I usually have those thoughts anyway but I’ve had such a great system of friends and people I love who love me also that it was easier to get past. There were people there for me  who cared and because I knew they cared I could get through the rough patches. But now I don’t have those people. I don’t have any support. There’s nobody who cares about me. So then my loneliness gets to me and i get even more depressed and anxious and I keep spiraling, and those thoughts get worse and harder to fight off. it was those thoughts of intense “lets hurt ourselves really badly :D” that made me want to go to the hospital. I literally had the thought of “If I go to the hospital and they say I’m not severe enough to be admitted, I’ll just grab a pen and stab my leg to prove to them I need help.” Which is neither good nor healthy, but it would be so easy

instead i ended up crying for three hours and started thinking the circumstances that lead me here

and like. i will admit, and i have admitted dozens of times, hundreds of times to myself, that I made a mistake. I know that. I told them that. That was the first fucking thing I said. all i can think about is that singular, one, individual, tiny little blunder. and how despite me acknowledging it and coming clean with it and trying to talk about it, it was blown up and out of proportion and thrown in my face. they took my misstep and every single one of them twisted it and manipulated it into something far from the truth, something that painted me as a terrible person, as a secret asshole, as a huge toxic influence, as a deceitful and unappreciative person. They all threw out everything about our friendship in favor of ignoring what I’d said and assuming something far from the truth, the truth I laid out for them no less.

and then when i asked if i could clarify and communicate, they told me no. then blamed me for not communicating!!

thats all i ever tried to do! was communicate

From day one the group said hey if there’s a problem, be open with it and we’ll talk about it. we communicate to solve problems because we’re all friends and cherish each other.

what a load of shit.

i tried to communicate. I laid out my problem and then everybody else got involved, said I wasn’t allowed to talk about that with them, then they called me back like some kind of court and judge and jury and told me because I didn’t communicate, I was being kicked out. That’s not fair. I wasn’t treated fairly. I wasn’t even allowed to clarify whatever the hell they thought. They straight up told me no, you can’t talk about this with us. That’s not communication. That’s hypocritically shutting me down.

“Communicate with us Jask!”

“Okay I will send communication”

“Op! You’re not allowed :) We agreed you can’t talk to us :) You’re being kicked out :) Oh But Don’t Feel Unwelcome We Want To Fix This.” Then they all fuckin. moved into a space without me in it. That’s not welcoming. That’s exclusionary. That’s not communicating either. I’ve been handed a double standard that I can’t do anything about because I’m not allowed to even say hello to these people

How does anyone expect things to get better if I’m not being given the chance I was promised? its been. five. weeks. I’m ? so fucking tired and sad and alone, waiting every fucking day in the hopes that someone is going to actually talk to me again. then I finally pass out in near tears at 3am because another day has passed with none of them caring enough to even ask if im okay

and like. i desperately want to talk to them. i dont know what id say but. i dont know. i dont know. im not allowed to, for one. they made that crystal fucking clear. but again what would i even say?

do i say im sorry? i apologized dozens of times and it never made a difference, they ignored my apologies from the start and im certain they ignored the ones at the end too. and im terrified of saying sorry to the only person who really matters in this situation because im certain she’s going to cut me off if i even breathe in her direction

do I say that i miss them? what’s that going to do? it feels manipulative to say that. like hey pity me into talking to me again? i cant do that. im sure none of them miss me anyway so why would i put myself on the spot like that

do i admit im afraid to talk to them? again that also feels, bad, because the last time i admitted a feeling it drove them all away in an instant. and like also that feels like im backing them into a corner where they have to respond. and i dont want to force that. so it feels like talking is making the same mistake that made them kick me out. and like. what if...talking really does make it worse? what if talking is what ruins it even though talking is what they told me they want?

again there’s the double standard. be honest and communicate, but if you’re honest and communicate you’re rejected outright and made into the bad guy.

at this point its been so long

and i’ve deteriorated so much

i dont know if like. i just. i dont know...if more deterioration, if more waiting, and more dashed hope is worth it ?

i dont even know if they still want to repair things. what if they dont? what if they never did? what if they lied? what if they sit in their little group and talk poorly about me? what if they made bets about how long it’ll take me to leave or unfriend them like my isolation was some sort of game? what if they think i hate them? what if they really DO hate me? what if they moved on and want to forget about me? what if they regret knowing me at all? what if they wish they never knew me? what if they’re happy without me? what if 

oh boy i started crying again

what if this entire month of waiting and crying and wishing and grieving and hoping and loneliness was a waste of time? what if this was all for nothing? what if i never get to talk to them again? i. man. i just. i really really really miss everyone. i miss them so much. i miss them so fucking much. i dont know what to do. I m. fuck. im miserable. i wish i hadn’t said anything i wish i had kept my mouth shut i wish i never tried i wish i never did any of that i wish i had my friends i wish i could go back i wish i could talk to them

if i didnt say anything at least i’d be happy and id have everything and i would have my best friends in the whole world and id, fuck man thats really it, id be happy. im  so fucking awul

im so. i. i cant see the scvreen i need to go wash up and stop

[ithisatanytime]

Vegetables are fucking bullshit. im not gonna proofread this, but if you want to lose weight this is literally the only thing besides surgery that will work and its not even hard at all i promise, this was not inspired by me being disgusted with fat women, as everybody knows im down with the thickness. not fat though, there is a wider range for men then women believe, but i guess they are mostly just trying to compete with each other (i dont actually believe this for a second, it is for men its just a subconscious instinct, manifesting consciously as a desire to compete or look good) i added this long as disclaimer because this is a lifelong interest of mine, i always talk about it, but i dont want some poor girl to read it and think i want her to go on a diet you are beautiful just as you are, but at the same time i didnt want past relationship girls to see me saying i was down with the thickness and think they were heavy, only one was heavy

  Dont get me wrong, i like vegetables, but they are honest to god a fucking scam. vegetables are CHEAP, especially grains and cerials, to be honest grains are less bullshit than leafy greens, but they are still kind of bullshit. you are made of fucking meat, thats what you are, all the stuff you need or pretty damn close, is found in meat, vegetables are mostly insoluble fiber, very low in calories, which despite what you have been led to believe is not a good thing. its nice to have a little roughage in your diet, but the idea that we should be eating primarily plant based food is fucking insane, and i suspect is a result of the sugar companies years long propaganda campaign against fat. for years they funded studies claming dietary fat or cholesterol caused fat to accumulate on the body, and cholesterol in the arteries, we have known since the seventies that these claims were false, but the propaganda campaign was so extensive, even doctors commonly fuck this up. you cant digest plants on your own, you need to recruit gut bacteria to ferment it in your bowels, in other words it rots in your guts making you bloated and gassy, all for just a tiny bit of calories, its ASS, because no one can live that way, your diet is failing because you arent eating enough meat. meat is food, its real food. no fucking animal would go through the trouble of evolving the necessary intelligence and hardware needed to have to KILL every single meal, if it wasnt so much better than the fucking grass and leaves that are everywhere, and grass is much easier to catch and kill than a gazelle,so why bother? because the gazelle is food, its made of the same building blocks you are, you are made of meat.

   Meat is much more readily digested in your body than plant matter, people think that meat constipates you and ive seen people say it sits in your gut for years, the opposite is true, meat is digested quickly and efficiently leaving behind almost no waste material whatsoever, meaning you arent pooping because you arent making poop, meat is digested almost completely where as plant matter is filled with fiber which passes through either completely unchanged or only mildly changed into a gel like substance in the case of soluble fiber.  but heres the real MEAT of this post (heh) fats and proteins from animal sources (meat) are far more satiating than carbs from plants, meaning a hundred calories of animal fats and’/proteins will keep you full for longer, than a hundred calories of carbs, and i can prove it, a boneless skinless chicken breast has 284 calories (very little fat but high in protein) thats less total calories than two cans of mountain dew, how long do you think you could last after eating a chicken breast vs drinking two mountain dews? there are 250 calories in a new york strip steak, thats less than two potatoes, i bet you could last all day if you ate a new york strip steak for breakfast, a potato and a half without butter or anything? you would crash by noon.

 Vitamins are fucking bullshit. as long as you get micronutrients into your body at some point, meaning you arent a third worlder who eats nothing but one kind of cheap food, you are getting vitamins, all of them, most of them and guess what, meat has literally all of the required vitamins your body needs in abundance, so long as you occasionally eat liver. but it hardly fucking matters, almost no one in the first world is seriously deficient in micronutrients (the vitamin d thing is bullshit, they miscalculated the requirements or there is some racial factor they refuse to aknowlege, because if fucking everyone is d3 deficient and doing just fine, then no one is. also d3 is found ONLY in animals, not in plants) its all about macro-nutrients FAT PROTEIN carbs, you are eating too much carbs, if you try to stop eating so much carbs you are going to fuck it up, i promise you, your body keeps track EVERY DAY, trying to maintain homeostasis, you will take one extra bite, you will measure your portions wrong, you will eat a whole goddamn cake because you are starving, your body is better at counting calories than you will ever be. so heres what you do, DONT TRY, if you have to try you will fail, you are working too goddamn hard, be realistic with yourself, a temporary diet is actually fucking meaningless, diets are for life. you cant sustain that horrible dumb ass bulshit girl magazines are trying to make you live on, NO ONE CAN, less than 6 percent of people who have lost significant amounts of weight will keep the weight off after a year. who the fuck knows after that as well, other than its certainly less than six percent. i am giving you the cheat code right now, all you have to do is take my word for it, do i seem like i spent years obsessing over this shit? because i have, heres the secret. all you have to do, nothing more, if you try to do more you are fucking up! all you have to do, is take your body weight, divide it by two, and try to get that many grams of protein per day, like your life depended on it, preferably from MEAT. preferably with fat! but honestly i dont fucking care. tbh if you are a girl, id shoot four 40-50 grams everyday, and heres the thing, please! do not go for lowfat, lean meats. you want meat with fat on it, preferably unprocessed, you can still eat hamburgers and sausages but dont make them the center piece of your diet, because they actually add fats in as part of the processing, you can stil leat it though, if you try to get your 40 grams of protein from lean meat like chicken breast alone, you will go crazy and quit, or you will just eat a bunch of carbs to make up for it. again, you want fat and protein. if for the next two months, you made it your goal to eat whatever the fuck you wanted (this is important) so long as you got 40 grams of protein a day, preferably from animal sources, preferably with fat, i promise you, not only will you lose weight like fucking crazy, but it wont even be hard at all, you will feel like you are fucking gorging yourself while slowly getting hotter. that being said, to us men, being hyper thin is not really all its cracked up to be, thats gay fashion designer shit, we like women to be soft, to contrast are hard muscular bodies.

[zontiky]

Ahem McDonald’s five au pls?

goddamn it’s been forever but i can’t stop won’t stop so you’RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT MY MICKEY D’S FIVE AU LET’S GO

so. the legal age you have to be to work at mcdonalds is? 14 years old according to google, but it may vary depending on the place. aidan is 16, five passes for 16 even though he’s 13 ok

there is absolutely no way he would actually let them say he’s 13 he’d be like “ugh at least make it 14 damn” even though,,, his birthday is in like,,, less than a year,, ok i realize that isn’t how ageing works but cut me some slack

POINT IS he passes for 14 ok. DOUBLE POINT is that he would wait until he’s legally 14 anyway so idk it works alright

but!! so !! plot time! this is the part i’m bad at but bear with me i’m onto something i swear

five is pissy bc he doesn’t really have anything to do. he takes school online bc he’s way above middleschool obviously, and like?? he moves fast with those classes too bc hes a genius like he knows big brain things yk

so anyway somebody (klaus) jokingly suggests “oh well maybe if youre bored you should get a job or smth it’s not like extra money can hurt anybody ever”

five’s thought process is like

if i get a job i earn money

if i earn money i can spend money how i want and not need to drag my idiot siblings along with me constantly

i GUESS it would be good to have job experience or something whatever

lets be real folks

nobody except for fucking mcdonalds would accept this garbage racoon child celebrity looking 14 year old asshole. i know im exaggerating and there are 100% other places that would employ this walking shitshow but my point stands

klaus and ben chanting: mc donalds! mc don alds! mc donaaaaaalds

five: ffffffffffffiNE

mc donalds it is

also yeah i know its not 2 words but this is my au and besides how can you prove it isnt 2 words in the tua universe?? you cant, check and mate

anyway

five marches his 14yo ass up to mcdonalds like “hire me” and they all just,, they look at this kid,, coming in in schoolboy shorts looking like a prep straight off the school website,, and they hire him instantly.

idk ive never worked at mcdonalds but lets say that there are mainly older teenagers there so like college/highschool students and five comes in on his first day in his too big uniform with a frown and messy hair, his older brother is waving at him from outside and they just “omg little sibling”

five is a prickly asshole! you know this! but they dont!! so they try to approach him and make him feel welcome and he just straight up hisses at them

woah there five thats not how you do social interaction

better luck next time?

anyway this isn’t actually the point of the au the point is five works at mcdonalds and the others take advantage of this always

klaus walks into mcdonalds and hes barely wearing a shirt, ben is trailing after him and the two walk up to where five is manning the cash register, klaus leans over and ruffles his hair, five rolls his eyes but doesn’t maim him immediately?

all of the other workers are like o.o

klaus, in the snarkiest fucking voice, asks five what he would recommend

“this is a mcdonalds”

‘yeah i know that what should i get’

“get a fucking smoothie i know you’re not gonna drink anyway and get out”

ben from behind: actually i wanted chicken nuggets–

“shut up ben you can’t even eat”

ben voice: smh rude

anyway. diego always. always. he fucking comes in decked out in his bondage gear and he walks up to the register completely deadpan but only when it’s five’s shift, and he stares deep into five’s eyes and orders

“one kid’s meal”

five stares back completely emotionless as he rings him up and says “anything else”

“no just the kids meal”

“do you want apple slices with that”

“yeah”

and then he gets the meal and just. gives it back to five. and he gives him the biggest shit-eating grin and tells him to enjoy his lunch and powerwalks out of there before five can get charged for murder

that only works once though bc next time five is READY but so is diego so he continuously orders frappes or whatever the fuck mcdonalds sells

i havent actually been inside a mcdonalds for months i can’t remember what the sell

oh wait lmao frappes are starbucks mcdonalds has uhh mcflurries???

is that what they’re called? mc flurries? what kind of fucking name is that akjdhfksd

ANYWAY THEY ALL BULLY FIVE AT MCDONALDS

allison walking in like “one fish fillet please :)” and everybody whispering bc ohmygod samantha look its ALLISON HARGREEVES what is she doing in our mcdonalds OHMYGOD–!!! and she just keeps smiling as five hands her the sandwich and she walks out, but walks back in seconds later

‘oh by the way luther’s picking you up today’

“i can walk”

‘no you can’t you have baby legs, i’ll see you when your shift is over bye!’

*five’s teeth creaking as he grins his jaw noises* “bye”

anywho

this au pleases me immensely ok

like

you don’t even know how much joy i have from picturing dead-eyed five in a mcdonalds uniform selling a doughnut

somebody keep this gremlin away from their coffee machines though. he learns to use them immediately and gets coffee constantly. they cant even call him out on it bc he pays everytime

well almost everytime but you know its whatever they’re all soft for their adolescent coworker anyway

ok this is where my brain goes bloop but i’ve began a shitty art for this au so like if i ever finish that i’ll put a link here ripppp

YEAH THAT’S IT aren’t you glad i exist because without me you wouldn’t have a mcdonalds five au, YOU’RE WELCOME

[nctzanne]

Bet. Eric (The Boyz) x Reader

Okay so hello everyone! FIRST IMAGINE, ONE-SHOT, WHATEVER IS CALLED FINALLY UP GUUURL. Yes, it took some time and i just feel like i squeezed my brain for this one. I really really hope you like it.

Dont go too harsh on me, remember im just starting and i need to learn more about how to be a better writer. 

So, about this little story, main characters are Eric from The Boyz and you babies, of course.

Warnings: I ALWAYS tend to write Reader like a really cursing person, so if you dont like it, please tell me when you send your requests. 

//SMUT, FLUFF// 

Enjoy!

━━━━━━ ✿  ❀ ━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ✿  ❀ ━━━━━

Everybody knows how you feel when Eric is around you. And you can swear he feels the same way, at least you can tell by how your relationship is with him Always being so soft, holding hands, telling how much you miss eachother. But that is what friends do sometimes, right?

Hwall laughs loudly at that statement, making you blush almost instantly.

-Please tell me if you see me doing that with Sunwoo, and maybe i’ll believe you- He smiles at you, tilting his head to the side- I’ll prove you that he loves you nuts, i will wait for the perfect opportunity-

And so did he. His plan started with a normal conversation in Hyunjae’s place. Eating fried chicken and watching horror movies with your 12 favorite boys seemed a pretty good atmosphere to be closer to Eric. His arms holding you tight enough so you cant move, your head resting on his neck, fitting perfectly. His smell, sweet like cinnamon, is driving you crazy. You move your eyes towards his face, only seeing it from below. He looked so inmersed in the movie, the TV light making his features pop even more, his sharp jawline tensing because of the scary plot, his mouth slightly open makes you lick your lips. You feel little butterflies in your tummy when he starts rubbing your hips with his thumb. Suddenly, clothes become a huge barrier between his skin and yours.

Jacob’s scream makes you wake up from your daydreaming, while Eric jumps due to his friend’s overreaction. You all burst into laugh. He is not a good company when it comes to seeing those kind of movies.

-Hey, dont laugh at me. I dont have anyone to hug me when im scared- He hugs his pillow, you can see him pouting slightly. You giggle, blushing a little when Eric turns to look at you, you could swear that he can see the pink color of your cheeks.

-That’s right!- Hwall grabs this opportunity to start his beautiful mission, making you and Eric see how much you love eachother. - Y/N and Eric are stuck to eachother like they are glued or something- He points at you, and Eric grabs a pillow to throw it at him, letting go a nervous laugh.

-I bet that you can’t be a day without touching eachother- says Changmin without moving his eyes from the TV’s screen. He doesn’t seem to be playing, actually, he looks very serious.

You gasp too loud, and instantly separate your body from Eric’s, making you feel empty.

-Of course we can- Eric says with a playfull voice. He loved to do this, bet and win- We won’t touch eachother today, and if we win, you will buy icecream for the two of us everytime we want this month-

Wow, so that’s it? That’s how easy it was for him to stop having some kind of physical contact with you? You feel a tiny knot in your throat and you try to swallow it.

-Okay, lets do it- Hwall smiles at you and winks.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Actually, it was easier than what you thought. Having a good time with Hyunjae and Sunwoo made it all better. While the other ones were playing videogames, the three of you decided to play Jenga.

-Look, look, its going to fall. Im 100% sure- You start doing some mental pressure on Hyunjae, letting go an evil laugh. And you were right.

Sunwoo and you start laughing, throwing your bodies to the floor. Exagerating the situation and seeing Hyunjae’s face makes the moment priceless, and your stomach starts to hurt.

-OKAY, it isnt that big deal. I will eat that chili pepper, BUT YOU CAN’T RECORD IT- Hyunjae says and he walks to the kitchen.

While laughing, you feel a cold finger poking your cheek. You turn around, facing Eric’s little body frame. You can feel how his eyes are checking your whole body, making you shiver. “I’ve never seen Eric looking at me like that, what is wrong?”

-I need to talk to you, just a few seconds. It’s important- His deep voice makes you get up unconsciously from your chair, wanting to grab his hand. But hell no, you just can’t do it. If you lose the bet, it’ll better be by his touch and not yours.

You both walk to the hall that separates Hyunjae’s bedroom from the living room. You gasp too loudly when Eric grabs your wrists with enough strenght to pin you against the wall, making a loud sound. You suddenly become scared that the sound was going to draw the attention of the boys, but you can’t deny that this is giving you an intense and delicious adrenaline

You can see in front of you a whole new Eric, a side of him you’ve never seen. He was looking and you with lust and a pinch of darkness in his eyes, licking his lips. You can compare him to an animal who is about to eat his food, and that food was you.

-I just couldn’t...- Eric is interrumpted by your hands touching the skin covered by his white t-shirt. He shivers, surprised by the courage you had to make the second move. You can feel his constant goosebumps while touching his abdomen, and how his breathing start to become gasps.

You are needy. You need his body close to yours, and now the waiting was killing you. You don’t even care about nothing else but the effects that your hands provoque in Eric’s body.

You can see that he starts to lose his mind, pressing his body harder against yours. You can feel him, the bulge covered by dark brown jeans, almost begging for release. The sudden contact to your stomach makes your pussy start pulsating slowly, feeling your underwear wetter.

-Just kiss me already- you whisper, his face is too close so you can feel his hot breath covering your face. It was in a fast move that he collided his plump lips against yours, without even opening them. It was like a 14 year old’s kiss, on those times when you liked someone but were too innocent to know what kissing was about.

But Eric couldn’t wait any longer, so he slowly started to open his mouth, giving you full access to it. You dont think about it twice and insert your tongue, exploring every corner of his wet cavity, driving you crazy the way he tries to twirl his tongue against yours. You invite him to enter in your mouth and he doesn’t protest, grabbing you lightly by the back of your neck to pull you closer, if it’s even possible.

It didn’t take that long to lose your self-control. But a little side of your brain didn’t want to get caught while making out with Eric.

-Eric, lets go somewhere else- you mumble between the sloppy kisses. He only nods, never breaking the kiss, and pushing you with him towards Hyunjae’s bedroom.

He throws you to the bed, making you fall on your back and bouncing on the mattress as he begins to take out his clothes, not even taking a break. You follow his steps and you can finally feel his skin against yours. This, adding the tongue kisses that he is giving to you in your neck, makes you moan, loudly enough for Eric to listen. He laughs deeply.

-So needy, i like that- it feels like he has changed his voice completely, now is almost like a growl coming out of his throat. You moan again as an agreement.

His hands start to roam all over your body, but skipping all the places you need them to be. You start moving under his touch, desperately trying to get more and more of him.

He understands your intentions and pleases you by kissing your breasts, painfully slow, You arch your back so he can use his whole mouth to make you feel good, and oh my god he knows how to do it. When he bites your left nipple you let go a whimper, that makes him grip your hips tighter and bringing you closer to him.

At the slightest touch of his crotch hidden inside his boxers with you damp underwear, you both sigh and look into eachothers eyes. His sweaty forehead and swollen lips makes you crave him even more, and you give him the signal.

-I just cant wait any longer, please, skip the foreplay. Im ready.- You would be so embarassed if you were lucid enough to hear what you’re saying and how, but fire is burning your weak body and only Eric could make you scape from it, taking you to the clouds.

He rips off your panties, takes his boxers off and without warning, you can feel his dick inside of you, making you bite your lower lip in pain. He groans, resting his head in your chest while you can feel his breath tickling your skin. He is waiting for you to make the first movement so he doesn’t hurt you.

-You feel so fucking tight, Y/N-This makes you tighten even more around his cock, and you feel proud on how his body twirls on response.

When you feel that pleasure takes off all the pain, you begin to rub your hips against Eric’s, making his cock move in circles inside of you. That hits the exact spots you wanted, and you can feel that Eric is enjoying it too.

Between groans, moans, little neck bites and back scratches, he starts pounding on you with no mercy, both of your bodies colliding with eachother making slapping sounds. Oh, everything is so filthy, and it only makes the knot in your stomach grow.

He starts stroking your hair and speaks with an inaudible voice covered by whimpers: -Baby, im coming, please tell me you’re close too-

That nickname doesn’t even let you answer, you just scream his name while collapsing in pleasure, shaking your body and closing your eyes. He chases his own orgasm by watching you fall apart because of him, filling you with his seed and slowing his pace because of the overstimulation.

Now the room is in silence, just the both of you trying to catch some air and looking at eachother without saying a word.

There’s nothing to be said, actually. You just fucked your best friend, and it was the best damn thing that could ever happened. You smile because of your thoughts and he smiles in return, leaving a peck on your lips.

Still inside of you, and realizing the uncomfortable position he was in -in the edge of the bed, almost kneeling on the floor, making his muscles sore- he rests his body by letting it fall against yours, not crushing you of course.

-We just lost the bet- he finally breaks the ice, making you giggle.

-We? You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself- You raise an eyebrow as soon as he looks up at you, with a cocky smile.

-Tell me you didn’t enjoy it. Unless you were screaming my name so i dont forget it and, believe me, I wont- You slap him on his shoulder. Now he seems more Eric than ever, being childish and ruining the best moments.

You stroke his blonde and sweaty hair, forgetting about everything that is going on outside. On how the guys are still watching the movie and the problematic situation that you are into because you decided to fuck in Hyunjae’s bed.

-You don’t know how much i wanted to make you mine, T/N- Eric makes you wake up from your thoughts, blushing instantly.

-I’ve always been yours, Eric. You were just to blind to see it-

Eric answers you by pnly kissing your cheek and smiling like an idiot. Your idiot

And, now you just can admit that you lost the bet. But icecream will never be as sweet as Eric’s lips.

[starkerdayss]

ENDGAME THOUGHTS

I’ve seen it, and I have things to say...

Okay, so, let’s start with the light-hearted stuff first: 

Bruce Banner finally accepting the Hulk as a whole ??? yes

America’s Ass

WHY IS STEVE WORTHY OF MJOLNIR

Steve winning the battle with his other self by naming Bucky ?? marvel cant resist the gay tm even if they tried 

Carol Danvers and her lesbian haircut can fuck me up with a rake 

There was a brief moment where I shipped Natasha and Carol, but that just fell off a cliff ;)

Peter Parker emerging from that portal looking FiNNER than ever. my poor starker heart

WE FINALLY GOT TONY AND PETER HUGGING 

i like the way Steve said “avengers... assemble” meaning everyone on their side was an avenger, even the smallest of them all. they just... thats the perfect fucking ending. theyre all avengers. 

loki just randomly grabbing his cube and disappearing 

is gamora like... alive? why is gamora 

tony stark being the motherfucking hero agAIN literally just proves that without him marvel is and will be nothing. he invented time traveling... it doesnt get better than that, folks 

every single character together on the same planet fighting the same evil 

my relieved ass when thanos got dusted 

“this is the one?” “the options were him or a tree”

Tony fucking Stark lived happy for five years with his daughter okay

Now, onto the sadded stuff: 

Thor, as far as I know, was written that way for this movie to add some commedy, but it just literally broke my heart to see him like that after losing everything. 

Continuing with Thor, the encounter with his mother. She’s just really wise, and understanding and I’m so glad Thor got the closure he needed on that department. 

I’m going to express how insanely mad I am about Steve’s ending. First of all, I feel like the happy ending that Tony deserved they gave to Steve. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have ended happy as well, but common. I understand that he wanted to live a life with Peggy, but even if it was six seconds for the others, he left Bucky alone. He doesn’t have Steve, Tony, Natasha. Anyone, and he didn’t even get the shield? catch me on CNN news hitting marvel writers with a frying pan. 

What the fuck was Natasha’s ending? It felt flat and it was really... quick. I just... don’t like it. 

Tony dying. I cried so hard that my little sobbing stopped me from watching the whole scene. Peter finally got his hug, and then he was calling for him saying “mr. stark... we won! mr. stark, do you hear me? we won... tony?” just... breaks my heart. Pepper calming him down, telling him that he could rest in peace... it just, also breaks my heart. Peter has no mentor, Pepper has no husband and Morgan has no father. I love you 3000. im crying as i write this, obviously. he deserved so much better. “proof that tony stark has a heart”. fucking hell, my heart is so sad. the fucking funeral is just,,, the worst thing that has ever happened to me

i love that peter reconnected with his friends and all but you could see the sadness in his eyes. specially in the funeral, when aunt may was holding him. 

happy is just such a good person, and i know he’s going to miss his boss. hes going to take care of that little girl like it was his own daughter

we didnt get enough groot/rocket and im pissed. 

we also didn’t get bucky/steve recognition aT ALL and if anyone wants to talk about this pls come to my dm’s 

BUCKY KNEW WHAT STEVE WAS GOING TO DO AND HE LET HIM DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM 

i truly dont know how im going to get passed this 

my starker heart was going to explode “i lost the kid” and the hug and “tony...” and fucking hell 

peter sorrounded for women. which isnt sad but i remembered now 

doctor strange telling tony that it was the only way literally just fucks up everything 

i didnt see doctor strange in the funeral ?? i might have been crying too hard to notice tho,, but if any of u did can u let me know. where my boy at 

tony got closure with his dad as well and that simultaneously breaks my heart and leaves me a little calmer 

loki had no respectful ending whatsoever and im mad 

im happy for clint and scott but they did my man stark wrong 

was that rando at tony’s funeral harley? i thought i was going to see much more tbh 

they better not leave sam and black panther in nothing just cuz theyre black cuz everybody a racist nowadays. im watching marvel.

Conclusions: 

I have a bunch of theories, which im not telling right now cuz i have to get them together. 

you can all bET your fucking asses that im rewriting the end and im making it both starker and stucky 

beyond being a heartless movie, it has been the best one yet. the time traveling thing was a little confusing but the effects, the whole steve meeting steve was super well done and it kept me on the edge of my sit the three fucking hours. this has definitely been the best movie marvel has ever done. 

tony will forever remain in my heart, and my page is not going to acknowledge his death. 

tony stark was one of the few happy things i had left from my childhood and now its gone. my heart aches tremendously. I will never comprehend whats the reasoning behind it because tony is the whole foundation of marvel, and without him, theyre nothing. i cant believe hes dead. i cant believe it and i just... that should not have been his ending. i love him, i loved him and i will always love him. Rest In Peace, my love. 

“And I’m... Iron Man”

[celestialallstars]

Episode #1: “This cast, fuck me, fuck them.” - Rhys

Ok so my pregame thoughts. It seems like there are a lot of contenders that were threats in their original seasons just based off of placements. I’m really gonna try to use this to my advantage because in my season, I don’t think I was very threatening. Unfortunately I’ll miss the cast reveal, but I’m hoping that doesn’t put me in a bad spot. This game is gonna be tough, but I know I can do it. At least make merge. You need small goals in order to achieve bigger ones. Cast assessment coming up next :)

Y'all I am ANXIOUS! I've had a bad run recently and for the most part I never really care that much. But if I flop on this season I'll die of sadness. Okay but for real, I want to do well this season and idk what kind of people I'm going to be up against, and I couldn't even get my intro to send like i'm such a joke. Ugh y'all how can I be this stressed already.

Just roughly 2 hours before we're gonna really dive into the thick of things. There are so many things I wanna say and so many things I'm just beyond excited about. I really think this is gonna be a Top Tier Season.

I'm vowing to make the most of my stay no matter how long or short. I'm gonna try to drive the pessimist in my mind away and do my best to avoid being that early boot just because I'm a previous winner. Y'all better watch out!

This is gonna be FuCkInG LiT!!!

Getting ready for this season, I'm honored tbh. I feel like it's my first fully-legit-no-strings-attached All-Stars appearance. I was on EMBB All-Stars, but only because I was an alternate for Jake and he decided to be a host instead. Being invited back on my merits exclusively feels amazing, I just hope I can live up to my own expectations in this game and take home the win.

Hi I’m super excited to be brought back to play this game. I’m gonna play maybe a little harder but I’m hoping to keep my gameplay very similar to last season cause it did me well I just need to not freak out. I’m really looking forward to seeing who I’m playing with and I know this season will be fun.

So. This cast, fuck me, fuck them. Like they all seem so much more capable than me. Like bitch bye.

My tribe honestly idk yet. They seem cool,  haven’t talked to most of them yet. So I’ll get back on that.

The only person I’m not happy is cast is Michael. Bitch hated me for no reason last season. So bitch best watch his back cause I’m bringing this hatred back this season.

Also one world can fuck off

So I am meeting everyone and honestly so far this is a nice group. A mixture of old faces like Zach and Loris and new ones like everyone else! Everybody is radical, but I am gonna try and give it a short moment before giving an assessment. Having that said, im gonna get dragged and murdered by this cast....call the police.

Hi so the game has just started and I feel like already so much has happened it has been intense. This cast? stacked. One world? intense. Me? crying.

This entire cast is so iconic and so loved I honestly don't know how to feel rn I am scared as all hell but I'm ready to fight for my fucking life. I'm also quite glad for the one world because I love the idea of being able to socialise with EVERYONE since that's such a strong point of my game for me considering I'm horrific in challenges. I just really hope I can pull things off this season and actually have someone like me and prove that I am in fact worthy of an all star title.

Being on call with people from the one world chat is honestly so fun and I can tell this is going to be a great season and we're literally only like 2.5 hours in. I really wanna make it to the end so I can experience it in it's fully glory.

amazingly, i don't think me being an admin is going to be to a problem??? i wanna thank you three beauts for giving me a wonderful tribe. i love matt, bodhi's hilarious, alyssa intimidates me but she's cute and i love allying strong women, tobi forced me to keysmash, and mo and karthik are kind of blase but its ONLY NIGHT ONE. all in all, think i can survive on this tribe. just get me to merge baby i cannot go premerge in this org if annas not gonna play then I CANT LET US DOWN

So we've officially landed in this ORG, and immediately smacked in the face with a flaccid twist that is One World. So instead of trying to balance 6 relationships I have to balance 20. I'm of course already a mess trying to keep track of it all.

Bodhi and I already have an instant F2, we'll see how that works out given we aren't even on the same tribes. Meanwhile I'm already in love with Bryce as a person and trying to possible Corral all the winners together. Obviously we need to make sure the Winners make it to merge.

I think on my tribe specifically I'm probably getting along best with Mitch, I think Rhys has a similar sense of humor as me but he went to bed too early for me to figure out more. There's a ton more sweet people on the other tribes too I just don't have time to delve into all of them, nor do I have enough substance to any of them to develop opinions anyway.

I have an idea as far as connections go for this tribe but I'm not sure yet if it is strong. Loris is sleeping though I did talk with everyone else. I have a feeling Chloe/Zach would be safest but also that Chloe/Michael might be together. Regardless I think I'll be sticking with Zach if I can help that. Drew seems nice too and Sharky seems it too. Not sure how things will go but I do have to be smart since I would be the easy choice as winner if we lose. I'm gonna be optimistic about it all though :) as for the people on other tribes I'll get to them later. This is going to be fun!

________________________________________________________________

Now that I can see the actual twist (am dummy) I have to try and make some alliances between and in the tribes. I mean making one with the winners shouldn't be too hard but I am gonna want something with a few member here and there from each. I think things are about to get much difficult because I can tell lot of these people are more familiar with each other with their histories and I am just like "hi..." so I def need to wedge myself on in there some way..I've got my work cut out for me

HI ASDDASJKLASDLJK I was so nervous but like.. I feel my victory coming.. I'm pulling my weight in the challenge I think and our tribe's pretty cool!! It's all stars.. so like.. it's no surprise that I like everyone. Sharky seems to be busy so like.. if we lose that could be a good scapegoat.. ALSO?? i was on the blog and i was like wow jones' fairy drawing is so pretty.. so i hovered over it and accidentally clicked it.. and.. i found my legacy advantage again ADSALKDKLJASKLD. and anna said to make sure you search the blog to learn about people and i didnt even see that......... im so lucky :)

So this is so exciting. I’m trying to get to know everyone. Theres one person i was effy about on my tribe and that was Jared. But he’s been talking to me and been nice. But i still have my eyes 👀 on him. Its been nice catching up with Bryce. And been talking to Mitch Rhys and Kori. I hope i can get myself in a good social position where even if im not in their alliance, that im not someone they want to take out. But this time im gunna use my bonds to my advance and hopefully it gets me to the end.

Hi i don't really know what to say right now I just know I wanted to put down some thoughts. So far I'm so fucking in love with this entire cast I'm pretty sure I've spoken to every single person in one way or another which is great, I love to see people fully invested into a season they're playing. I also really love this first challenge, although scavenger hunts stress me the fuck out because i find so many items are so hard to find, I'm just hoping my tribe can pull out a win for us and I'm sure they will cause they're all so iconic and I love them all with my whole heart already.

So I've spoken more to people thusfar and like currently I'm speaking more to people I've spoken to before which like isn't great, because i hate relying on past relations. Like i am speaking to others who are new, its just a bit awkward. So lets push by that and hopefully they aint boring af.

Well so far I've gotten a few items on my list done. Progress is slow but steady. I'm a bit worried about this tribe given it seems like all of us being on at the same time might be unlikely. (That and we're halfway through and only 2 of us have added items to our list.)

I might just be too uptight though, we'll probably be fine. I haven't gotten to talk with people today as much as I wanted as a result of balancing the other ORG and this one as well as apartment hunting and scavenging. I'm beginning to think I planned poorly and have too much on my plate at the moment...

BUT I WILL PERSEVERE! YES SIR'RE I WILL!

CAST ASSESSMENT TIMEEEE Let me start with Orfero Chris- So chris is someone who I think can either go really far as an UTR threat like he did his first season, or be an early boot. I think him and I have a similar playstyle, but he is much more poetic and structured. I am really looking forward to play with him again! We dominated in afvv and im glad he won, but I won't let that happen again. He's too good. ioris- Honestly I see ioris as more of a goat. Maybe that's false perception, but I could easily see him latching onto someone for the long haul and not being respected later on. As of now, I don't think I would work with ioris, but if the situation arises, I wont hesitate. Drew H- OK I LOVE DREW FIRST OF ALL. I am actually SUPER excited that we are finally playing a game together. I really want to work with him, but unfortunately I think he is too threatening to the point where he wont make it far. Michael- Ok so this was definitely a wildcard. I think Michael is someone to watch out for. I don't know how he'll fair in this game, knowing that people recognize his gameplay. He could either go mid merge or permerge, but I dont think he has a shot at winning. Sharky- Sharky is someone I'm unfamilar with, and for that reason alone, I am guessing he makes it deep by flying UTR while winning challenges. Zach- Zach is another sneaky player. I really would love to work with him after our relationship in emvv4 where I voted him out at f10. He is definitely not someone to brush under the rug though, because he is also very threating. I predict a mid merge boot for Zach. Clohie- I personally don't see Clohie as much of a threat,  but I hope she proves me wrong. We have had limited discussion, but I can tell she is here to play. I predict she will make FTC this time, but only time will tell

Alignments: For Orfero, I can see Chris ioris and Zach on one side, Michael Drew H and Sharky on the other with  Clohie in the middle

Tuatha Kori- I've been itching to play an org with kori too and im glad we are on the same tribe because i know how well he can perform in challenges. He is probably my closest ally right now, so I really hope he gets far. My prediction is early merge for him. Rhys- Rhys seems so sweet. We havent had much conversation due to timezone issues, but I'd love to work with Rhys. He is super charming and I think he can go far! My prediction for rise is late merge. Maynor- Maynor is probably the person most difficult to talk to. I have discussed with Kori and he says that his weakest relationships are with Maynor and Jared, so i think its telling that maynor might be an early boot. Jared- I think jared is super cool and he's been a player I have to watch VERY carefully. I do see myself working with him because our convos have been good so far, but I feel like he can be a good talker. We'll see how it turns out but i predict Jared being a premerge boot. He claimed to be a crackhead in confessionals though so we'll see :). Stephen Z- Man i really wish I had better conversations with him!! I think he is super cool, but he does not seem to remember who I am. If our convos improve like I hope they will, I could see Stephen going early merge. Bryce- I really like bryce too but he is soooo unpredictable and sketchy. I think his  cast reveal intro shed bad light on him to other players too, but I know from experience. I see bryce being a premerge boot, but I hope he proves me wrong. I just dont feel like I can fully trust him.

Alignments: For Tuatha, I see myself aligning closely with Kori and Jared. I dont know what the dynamics would be, but I feel like Maynor is already on the outs.

Cyrena Mo- I LOVE MO SO MUCH. What a gem. I met him in TS Montenegro and he considered me one of his closest allies and saved me from elimination at f9 only for me to vote him out at f8. I still feel bad but im hoping we can mend our relationship and go far together. I actually do think he could make a deep run and  definitely get to finale by laying low. Tobi- Tobi and I in games USUALLY don't end up on the same sides. That being said, I'd love to work with Tobi and I hope he makes merge unlike in emvvas. Matt- Matt is another mystery for me. On one hand, I know he is not only a host favorite but a fan favorite as well, but on the other I  dont really know what he brings to the table. Another wildcard for me that I see going early merge. Jack- Jack and I have a history for sure LOL. It feels like we play every game together. I think Jack is a super nice person, and I'd love to work with him again. We dont really mesh on a personal level which makes it difficult, but I learned my lesson of trying to avoid Jack in emvvas (he got me out) Bodhi- I've seen bodhi around a bit, and can be the hero or the villain. He is quirky in a good way. I see bodhi as being the comical relief that goes mid merge for being too likeable. Alyssa- honestly alyssa seems kind of annoying. I dont want to speak too soon but i dont get good vibes from her. I think she might be an early boot on her tribe. but i truly hope im wrong about her. Karthik- I know karthik from em and i really think he could make a loyal ally. His win was well deserved but i dont necessarily think he is a threat. My predicition for him is still prejury because of his timezone. It's unpredictable when he has power and when he doesnt.

Alignments: For Cyrena, I see Mo Alyssa Tobi in one alliance and Matt Jack and Bodhi in another with Karthik out of the loop.

I'm excited to see how accurate my predicition are! I didnt bother including a winner because i still think its too early to tell. Game ON!

Wow a discord call this early in the game!! Strategy? Nope! It's... Alyssa explaining tarot cards to me. Gotta do what you can for social game ig (its ok now we're talking about romcoms)

iz me beech

what a gift, hi im mo. a dumb bottom who treats himself like shit so no one else does.

IM AN ALL STAR ISNT THAT INSANE. I cannot express how excited I am to be playing this game, plus I fucking love this cast. Like my tribe? Fantastic.

Alyssa - The sister I always wanted. I love her she’s so great.

Matt - New good friend and probably who I’m closest to at the moment I get happy when he gets online cus he gets me and my shit.

Jack - He can rap and he’s nice, what an icon.

Rhys - SUCH A SWEETHEART, I’m so excited to play with him again.

Karthik - Also super sweet, he seems like a genuine guy and I’m looking forward to playing with him.

Tobi - I love that I get to play with him again we haven’t talked all too much but we’ve talked a bit. (I definitely have my guard up around him just cus of something he did in Muxloe)

Bodhi - Kinda inactive unfortunately but he seems nice.

Mo - Dumb bitch.

sits. hi. so like. just like elara im gonna do a countdown to when i can play my legacy because yall CRAZY if you think im willing it to someone else... uh...WAIT.. I JUST REALISED... I THINK I COULD'VE SAVED BIG Z WITH MY LEGACY?? if only i knew he was going... sorry big z... you wont read this.. anyways. ok so. it is final 21. so. 15 (or 8 i guess...) people need to be voted out before i can play it.. i can DO IT. and this time i am not telling a SOUL about it. like. NO ONE.. and the beauty of the legacy is that people shouldn't really even suspect it exists.. heehee!

ANYWAYS! let's talk about the game. so. my tribe is a mess. i love zach and chloe... chris is a king.. i played elara with drew h and he's a babe so there's that. michael king. and sharky hasnt been on much because he's busy which is like awful timing n i feel bad especially if we lose because i think he might go? :-(

as for the other tribes.. bryce asked to be allies i said shure. i love rhys.. thats all bye

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UPDATE!! i love BODHI!!!!!!!!!!!! like..... wow. hes such a king. no words at all.

Our tribe has lots of stuff done on our sheet. I hope we are able to get it done. I hope we can win immunity, first tribal will suck.

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Omg. 3 minutes until sheets are locked. Im kind of nervous. I really want us to be immune.

My tribe mates- Rhys: he is amazing and i feel like we get along pretty well. We have been talking. Mitch: also very nice. Was the first person to message me and i really like him. Kori: we talked a bit. Is someone i need to talk to more. Bryce: my marmoreal f3. ❤️ Jared: amazing guy and really like talking to him. Would work with him. Stephen: the person i least have talked to but i need to talk to more.

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I’m am extemely excited that we won immunity. It gives me more time to talk and bond with these people. Im really liking my tribe. I hope we can keep winning immunity. (Knocks on wood)

We won! Yas! It's unfortunate that we couldn't snatch the reward, but we came close and I think that counts for something.

Chloe and Drew definitely carried the Orfeo tribe to their reward, meanwhile Karth practically killed Cyrena himself. I'm pretty happy being that perfectly middle score on my tribe. High enough to be a contributor, low enough to like not be a threat for try-harding or something.

I'm gonna hopefully take this time to get to bond with people more. Chloe and I are getting married apparently which is cute. She's honestly pretty sweet so I'm already a hardcore stan.

Gonna enjoy the time off, and see what this idol system is about. Maybe I'll get lucky this season.

i am OVERWHELMED like ok so most the cast i feel like doesnt like me. my tribe has ppl who arent super active (this is literally marmoreal flash backs) kori is so.. much idk JKFADSHFKJ like he just is rly.. there! jared is my new fave i love that man so much we are going so far KNOW that. rhys.. an angel i LOVE him i just get him and he gets me. maynor? doesnt reply idk its off. stephen.. not here. mitch? ignores me for long time. so ya that sucks but wooh jared and rhys! also LOVE chloe, loris, zach, maybe tobi!!!

YAAAAAAAAS safety is so important right nowwwww, having safety is crucial bc I wanna keep my friends in this game and keep building bridges. I also have a little advantage to help me search for the idol and nobody needs to know about it except me so hopefully soon I’ll have an idol in my back pocket!

The first few days of this game have been fun. I always enjoy getting to know a new tribe of people. Still, all of these people are essentially new to me. I've been in VL's with Kori and Mitch, and I helped host Jared in Wakea, but playing with people is a totally different ballgame. Still these 3 are probably the relationships I'm most interested in investing time in right now.

As for people off of my tribe, I feel pretty good about my old Komnata castmates. Alyssa, Zach and Karth all worked well with me in the pre-merge and I can definitely see myself working with them here as well. Chris is also my BFF I would literally die for him. Jack is also someone I know well and I know he's a good ally, but we're also playing another ORG together at this very moment (SBBB7) and I just made a move there knowing he wouldn't approve of it, so that's something I have to keep in mind as well. I think as long as I can set myself up well on this current tribe, I could be in it for the long hall!

Looking at the challenge results, it looks really bad for my bro Karth. It's gonna suck if he goes first because we instantly connected back in Komnata, but hey, I don't think I have the clout to save him here. It's the first tribal council and there's no basement to hide in this time.

Today is gonna be a big day though. Before Cyrena goes to Tribal Council, I'm planning to reach out to Mitch and Kori about formally becoming allies. Just like my first season, I'll use the idol search as my opening statement!

SO lots to discuss. First off, we got fucking demolished in immunity. Fucking embarassing. Matt Alyssa and I showed tf up with 100+, and Mo and Bodhi weren't far behind. Tobi did not have a good showing but FUCKING. KARTHIK. TWO POINTS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That's disgraceful this is god damn all stars you're a WINNER and you give 2 god damn 1 point submissions. Get the fuck out of my tribe. He should be the easiest first boot in history but of course everyone wants to pussyfoot around for the first 12-18 hours of tribal and not throw out a name. But there's no avoiding this. He's inactive, he has a bad timezone comparatively, and he did diddly poo in the challenge. He's. Gone.

Luckily I find myself with 2 quick alliances right out the shoot, a trio with Alyssa and Matt and a duo with Bodhi. I found myself gravitating to these 4 a lot the first couple days, Mo and Tobi are a bit quieter so I like these 3 allies for me moving forward. Sidenote, BoJack has got to be the greatest alliance name in Celestial history. I'd go back and look to compare but I'm lazy.

One World is still kicking my ass, a lot of people want to talk to me and I don't have the energy for it but damn it I guess I have no other choice, I can't just not respond to them.

Ok so fucking karthik made an alliance with Me, Mo, Matt. And spilled his heart out to us. But we left him on read and now he’s super lonely. Hopefully he doesn’t have an idol or whatever.

Also this game started!! I’m very busy with school but I have things to say. I’m close with some people from before, I really like Loris and Tobi and Alyssa. I’m feeling pretty good about my position right now.

Fuck yeah, not first boot!!! Although I would’ve loved to win as were so close, but can blame that on my tribe mates cause me and Bryce pulled through.

So right now, my closest ally I feel like would be Bryce. Primarily cause were on the same tribe and then I speak to him most on our tribe, and most of the other cast. Then would be jarred, so I want to make hopefully an alliance between them, maybe another, just to confirm my spot in the tribe.

Feel like my main goal is to make connection, as it seems like everyone else has some with other people. So like if it comes to me someone they don’t know, against someone they've player with before just looks bad for me. So I’m trying to make up with Michael, just so that’s one less target in my back.

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Also I talk to Zach a lot. But don’t trust him at all. We have been “dating” since the cast reveal. But he asked Mo to be in a showmance too?! Plus Bryce said he talks to zach the most but Bryce wasn’t in who Zach talks to the most.

This sounds like Tween drama but it’s so much more.

Am I being flirted with?????????

https://youtu.be/GBCr-tAsKTc

My slow self. In regards to the other castmates- I didnt realize how much I talked to the members of Tuatha. Bryce, Rhys, Kori all are red but I've probably done most of my talking with Jared and Stephen who I really wanna get together with at some point. I've reached out to other people like Jack and Alyssa and Mo. I may be forgetting some people but I'm just gonna keep talking up a storm with everybody!  If I had to pick my closest people so far, it definitely would be Jared, Stephen, Zach, and Michael.. stay tuned!

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I FLOPPED at this challenge hard. Drew and Sharky I am sorry for sharing you peeps on the low for being MIA when I was here and performed worse! I am happy we won though because I like my entire tribe and honestly I see a lot of good from them! And so the game begins!

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I am just putting gears in motion! I've made it clear with Stephen, Kori, and Jared I want to work with them. I want to get a cross tribe alliance going and it seems Tuatha is my in though I have to see about other people. As for Orfeo...I talked with Zach on starting a majority alliance with Chloe and Loris, we'll see how it goes and if it is legitimate but I definitely hope I can trust Michael enough to keep him. I still am gonna  not get comfortable because I can see myself being targeted but yeah

https://youtu.be/ia3DTwLWMi8

So we’re going to tribal... and honestly I’m terrified bc I was one of the poorer performers in the challenge but the thing is that Karthik got a whole ass 2 in the challenge... a challenge where you get 8/9 points for drinking water... so I would think he’d be the easy vote but everyone was SUPER quiet yesterday and no one wanted to give names but today is looking a bit better but I swear if I go home over karthik.... I. will. call. out. all. of. them. Not only was his score tragic but I don’t think he’s been social at all... people from other tribes think that karthik is definitely going so maybe I’m just crazy paranoid for no reason but idk I’ll have to talk wayyyy more to everyone just to be sure

well here is my first real confessional of the game! Sorry its late been busy.

So firstly my tribe is like super cute. I'm glad i don't know everyone cause then i would be worried, plus i do genuinely like getting to know new people so that is definitely a yay moment. I am also really liking this cast, though more wahmen would be nice but this is all stars, we r not casting wahmen for the sake of it. - anna jane 2k19.

The first challenge? selfie scavenger. a classic if i have seen one. a surprisingly difficult one at that but im glad how well i performed. top scorer on my tribe so i'm really glad about that and how I will be perceived as an asset for a while at least (we will see how that pans out longer down the line). but yay go me! Unforunately, we lost though so like UGH.

During immunity i approached alyssa and jack about a trio, who could control the tribe as i knew we would be high scorers and i genuinely like the two of them. also made sense becuase i sense we are the 3 most active. Karthik, who scored only 2 in the challenge, is probs the target due to inactivity LOL. tobi and mo i also like, but bodhi remains a mystery to me. might be a timezone thing idk but still. a tad worrying that i dont know him as well as i would like.

One World does my head in but im trying to talk to everyone. i've learnt though i need to make connections on my tribe first and foremost as they r the ones who vote, not people on other tribes. god i do hate one world tho. i want to be napping, not messaging people

think im gonna be in an alliance?? on day 3? is this a joke? literally winning...................  wow....

I usually make videos but today I am lazy so hello. So One World is ass because I don't want to talk to everyone but these people are crackheads so like I guess. Uhhhhh I'm in an alliance with Jack and Matt because I adore them both greatly. Mo is on my tribe which is so nice because we have played together before and he has such fun energy and is just a ray of sunshine so I'm very happy (although he makes me nervous cuz the last game we played together I killed him for no reason basically.... But I don't think he's the vengeful type). Tobi makes me nervous because I think he is a social king and I mean like... Idk I guess there are a lot of very social players which makes me nervous that I would be pushed out for maybe not being as social? Idk if that makes sense.

But anyway Karthik is also on my tribe and I was like OF COURSE. Because this is the man from my season who I cursed out via DR video for flipping on me LOL He is a sweetie though. I recently looked and saw he was rooting for me a lil in a game I was in which is really nice of him, especially seeing as I didn't vote him to win our season. I think he's going to be first boot. He was on vacation this weekend somewhere where there's no wifi (that's what he told me) and only sent in two things for the scavenger hunt, dooming us to a first tribal. I feel somewhat bad but have told people on my tribe that if not for Komnata's twist of the season he would've been out pre-merge easily because his overarching challenge performance is not great. So basically just reiterating to people that I'm not so sure that this was a fluke and overall I think it's probably just best for us to cut him.

Yeah that's it. I have so much crackhead energy from the games I've been playing as of late I feel like I majorly need to chill the fuck out. Here's to praying.

so everyone’s kinda agreed on voting out karthik due to him only scoring two points so I’m like ok cool i’m down but then karthik made an alliance chat with bodhi, matt and myself asking to be saved and

https://i.imgur.com/AxCzqxd.gif?noredirect

Sooo im making this last minute confessional to tell ya that I THINK im in a good spot. Im sharing my idol guesses with Stephen Z and Jared which is helping me build trust with them. I also have mutual trust with Kori. Maynor and Rhys are kind of boring tbh so hopefully they go soon. Bryce and I never seem to have good conversations so idk where his head is at. IM JUST HAPPY THAT MY CURSE OF ALWAYS GOING TO THE FIRST TRIBAL IS FINALLY LIFTED. I WONT BE FIRST BOOT YAHOO

Short and sweet, glad to be back, beast moded another selfie scavenger hunt. Got a good tribe, I think, couple of good friends, couple new people, at least one I think obvious boot should it come to that, but here's hoping it won't. Not a lot of players from my season so hopefully there won't be too much bad blood coming into this. Shoutout to Chloe Bryce and Tobi who are apparently contractually obligated to be in every fucking game I play on Facebook and associated communities for the rest of my life. 21 people is a lot to get through so I'm just hoping for merge, then we can go from there.

Well let's give confessing on my phone a try.

So far I feel like I've been making decent strides conversing with everybody. It's kinda weird how much I like everyone on this season. Its gonna make being a snake harder but I cant afford to blind myself I'll have to do whatever I'll have to do to hopefully win again.

I've made a sort of trio deal with Bryce and Chris as we're all former winners. I'd have included Kavish but we're all predicting he's more than likely the first boot alarm Tina. I'm growing closer to Zach and Clohie on the outer tribes. Also obviously still have my Bodhi connection. I'm talking with just about everyone a bit. Though I cant shake the feeling there is someone I've missed.

I am concerned not being in any sort of majority alliance on my tribe, so if we do lose that's worrisome but still not being the first boot is a huge relief for me, and hopefully there is only good for me going forward. (I say as 4 people probably plot my demise.)

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Karthik is voted out 5-1-1.

[tandytoaster]

I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”. 

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing. 

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying. 

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into. 

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career. 

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON  “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready. 

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me. 

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit. 

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag. 

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic. 

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people. 

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference 

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.