#fucking ate enough to make me feel sick

[sk3l3t0n444]

im good o-O

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier

[nomaishuttle]

I'm gonna be so open and honest with you guys right now i fucking rly dont want to go to work tomorrow .

[oceanmonsters]

episodic chronic illnesses are so mentally exhausting

[idyllcy]

i've never had somebody, so I don't know how to love

word count: 8.45k

warnings: children (idk), smut, reader has a kid?, fem reader, spoilers

summary: "I shall come back for you." "I shall wait."

Jinshi swears he just wanted a bite. One bite.

He just wanted a taste. That was all. It's called chocolate, Maomao had told him. He was supposed to save a little for you to taste when he got back to your chambers, but he supposes he ate too much, because by the time he arrives in your room, he's warm and flushed, and the only thing on his mind is folding you in half on the mattress. His poor mind.

"My love! Welcome back." You grin, opening your arms for him as he sinks into your touch. His skin is flush against yours as he mumbles something, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck as he lets his hands roam. You squirm under his touch as you try and ask him about his day.

"Maomao made me chocolate," He whispers, tugging at the string around your garment. "When I asked her for an aphrodisiac..."

"Mhm?" You hum, running your hand through his hair to pull off the hair tie. "Why would you need one?"

"I felt bad," He bites your collarbone, sucking gently as he slides the dress down your body. "I have not been paying attention to you all that much these days."

"I told you it was fine, and that I would be fine by myself." You tilt your head back for him to kiss up your neck.

He doesn't answer, hand crawling to the back of your head and kissing you instead. You lean back to comply, tilting your head as you taste the chocolate on his lips, humming in content as his tongue explores your mouth and you get to taste the sugar. You whimper as his fingers brush your bare chest, the fabric pooling around your hips as he fondles your boobs, lips still slotted against yours as you moan into his mouth, mind fuzzy from the lack of oxygen. You whimper when he pulls away to pull his own robes, skin pale under the moonlight as your eyes drink in the color of his skin and the curves of his muscles.

"Staring?"

"Mhm." You mumble. "You are beautiful, my love."

"As are you, beloved." He takes your hand, pressing his lips to your knuckles delicately and turning over to your palm to swipe at it with his tongue, eyes locked on yours as he hums. "I may touch you, yes?"

"Yes." You whisper. "Of course."

He goes back to your skin, lips pressed to the plush of your chest as he bites and such, fingers digging into your waist as he holds you still, the chill of the winter night brushing against your back as you squirm from his touch. You wonder how much longer he will pretend to still like you and convince himself that he needs you. Though, as his lashes flutter against your skin as he pulls from your chest with a pop, you feel it's not too far away.

Each time he sleeps with you, there is less love in his hands than before.

This time, he only holds you like this because of the chocolate presented by the maid, and it makes your heart sour when he stares up at you, eyes sick with affection, affection that you're sure would dry out for you one day— affection that haunts your life an uncanny amount. Yet, you sink into his touch as he kneels to slide the rest of the fabric off of you, parting your legs to slide a finger in and pleasure you, lips latched to your clit as it was with your nipple, and you gasp sharply, a ghost of a moan slipping past your lips.

You wonder if he's going to do this with Maomao one day—

You whimper as he slides a second finger into you with ease, mind fuzzy and empty as you glance down at Jinshi, tears blurring your vision as he fucks you on his fingers with practiced precision, quickly sending you into a blurry high, mind fuzzy as you clench around his fingers with your first orgasm of the night. Though, it isn't enough for him, his fingers still sliding in and out of you, even when your eyes blur over and tears fall from the lack of time you get to breathe. His name breaks past your lips in shattered syllables, tears staining the silk of the pillow as you stare down at him, lips puffy and cheeks red.

Jinshi shushes you instead, pressing a kiss to your clit as one of his hands holds your thighs open, the bottom of his chin wet with your slick, and he hums gently, vibrations brushing against your clit as you jolt. The combination with his fingers becomes too much, and you cream around his fingers again, splashing his face with your cum as he laps at it, eyes half-lidded as he does. He stays there until you're whimpering for him to leave you be, tears in the corner of your eyes. He licks the cum off his fingers as he reaches to wipe your tears, leaning forward to kiss them away as your bottom lip quivers.

"Jinshi, my love." You whimper as he lifts one of your legs to rest the ankle on his shoulder.

"Yes, beloved?"

"Please don't leave in the morning." You whisper, arching your back and closing your eyes as he fits himself into you slowly. He's such a good stretch. It makes you sad to think that he would leave you one day. He waits for you to adjust, hand warm on your thigh as you whimper, shifting your hips to adjust to his size. You let a breath out when it doesn't burn, and Jinshi takes it as a sign to start moving, the roll of his hips deliberate to nudge your sweet spots that have you seeing stars, and you hold a strand of his hair between your fingers as he leans forward, dark hair caging the two of you in as you gasp with each thrust, heart hammering in your chest and making you ditzy. You cry his name in broken sobs, a mix of overstimulation and your own heartbreak making the tears indistinguishable to you.

He reaches to wipe your tears as he makes love to you, concern all over his face, and the flush on his cheeks just tears your heart to pieces. He's only here because he had the chocolate. He doesn't visit you during the day anymore, and he only ever comes when he needs to borrow your wisdom— something he doesn't need anymore. something he has Maomao for now. The thought shatters your heart as it twists and turns in your stomach, the tears becoming too much for you to process as your mind blurs over and you let Jinshi do whatever with you. Maybe that would be your last use to him. To be a shell of what you used to be and let him do whatever with you. Maybe that would be replaced one day as well.

One day, you wouldn't even be worth dirt to him.

The thought makes your mind spin as your rationality slips, and you don't notice the way Jinshi slows down to check on you, fingers brushing your cheek as he legs your leg down. You press your hips flush against his, shaking your head as he pries for why you are crying. It is a worthless reason— it is a hopeless case. You quietly beg him to continue, hoping he would let you keep it to yourself.

"Beloved, I can't do that." He reaches to brush your hair to the side as you flinch, and you stare into his eyes as he stares down at you with the same pain in his eyes, and it kills you. He shouldn't look at you like this. You shouldn't be capable of hurting him. You reach to smoothen out the wrinkle on his skin, mumbling about how he would get wrinkles, and he leans into your touch, eyes glossing over with the same kind of hurt that was all over your face when he was missing. His voice strains as he begs you to tell him. To be honest.

"I can fix it." He chokes out.

"Don't leave in the morning." You whisper.

"You know I can't do that." He breaks.

"Then I can't tell you." You crumble. "If you'd like to stop, then you may—"

His hands fly down to hold your waist down into the bed, eyes wide out of some fear, some fear that you would despise him somehow.

"You have to give me time."

"I've given you almost a month. We've been distant for ages." You cry. "Hurry up and fulfill your marital duties so I can give you a son and you can leave me for the one you really want."

"I don't want her!"

"You don't show that!" You sob. "Just..." You sink into the bed, blinking to get the tears out. "may the heavens let us have a son so you can move on."

"I don't want to move on." He whispers, tears falling on your bare skin as he refuses to look you in the eye. "I love you. You are my beloved. The sun and moon may break and shatter, and the winds could blow in the wrong direction, but it could not stop my love for you. Why do you insist I will leave you?"

You go quiet, turning your head to the side as he gets frustrated.

"Fine. You've always been this way anyway." He picks up the pace again, giving you no time to breathe between his thrusts, and you gasp and throw your head back as he uses you like you wanted him to. It frustrates him to end that you just refused to talk to him, but who was he to ask? Who was he to ask you whether or not you would be honest with him? The most emotion you had ever shown was when he bedded you anyway. Why does it matter what you do? The love you had been so adamant to show when you first got married had gone stale anyway.

Jinshi lets you cum one last time before flooding you with his own seed, bent over your body, his hair imitating bars to cage you in as he hangs his head to catch his breath. You, you, you. You, his first love. You, the love of his life. You, the very wife that he had sworn he would cherish. You who refused to marry into a higher level family and had chosen. You who had gone distant because he had... it was his fault, huh? His issue. He had neglected to spend time with you since the arrival of Maomao. No wonder you were so sad.

He pulls out of you and covers you in a blanket, fetching a maid to help you wash off as he redresses himself.

"Will you... stay?" The maid is the one to ask, and Jinshi shakes his head.

"I must clear something up. Let the madam know I will stay next time."

The next nine months pass in a blur. You bear a son to Jinshi, handing him off to the wet nurse, and you move to another residence in the name of recuperating. Jinshi doesn't pay you a visit once. You wonder if it's because he is busy with palace affairs, but you do not touch upon it. You request the emperor to send you to another residence after recuperation without letting Jinshi know, and the old man lets you go. He knows. The whole palace knows. You have become nothing more than a mockery since your husband flounders around with some new maiden he found, and you are let go. You promise your child will serve the emperor well one day with the care of the maids. The emperor laughs and tells you to focus on yourself.

Thus, your son becomes playmates with the young princess, and you disappear from the records of the imperial palace.

The life the emperor had bestowed upon you is restful and serene. The spring residence is quiet and calm with the other concubines, and you are treated as the empress mother would be. There are no conspiracies and you sit down to enjoy tea with all the ladies, quickly forgetting the life you had to bear before. The maids write to you regarding your son under an alias, and you learn that his first word is neither mother nor father, but grandfather. You smile sadly at the letters each time you receive them, and you are never once paid a visit to your residence.

You wonder if you should have taken your son with you in another life.

Maybe in another life, Jinshi had continued to treasure you.

Then, he comes to visit, and you watch from the street as he carries your son with Maomao, getting asked if the young boy was theirs. You observe to see what kind of an answer he has for the kind merchant. You don't know what force compels you to listen, but you do, going quiet as you stare at the apple in your hand. You shouldn't care, but considering the way Jinshi was carrying your son, he must have learned a lot from the maids.

"Ah, she is not my wife." Jinshi's voice resembles silk as always. "My wife is in recuperation after having our son. Childbirth had taken a toll on her."

You have never been so glad that your son had resembled Jinshi so much.

You pull the veil over your head further, and you slip the woman a copper wen, rushing off with the apples you picked. You pass behind Jinshi with haste, wondering if he would recognize your perfume or such. It doesn't bother you. It shouldn't bother you. You had erased all signs of your existence from the palace forever, so even if he were to recognize the scent, he could simply think it of a maid from the spring residence. It didn't matter. It was years, so even if—

A gust of wind blows your hair as the veil is knocked off, and your son calls.

"Niang!"

You make a run for it.

The palace maids had been showing him the art of you. Of course they had. There was no way that you could have forgotten what they wrote to you. Your heart races in your chest as you make it into the palace walls, and you hide from the footsteps that have been chasing after you. Your heart burns in your chest as you catch your breath, eyes wide as you try your best to remain silent to stay still, and you watch as a maid asks what Jinshi is doing on the residence's grounds with your son. He apologizes and lies that his son had wandered off into the court, and you let a breath out when you no longer hear footsteps. You don't want to face him. You can't. You refuse to.

"So? What was that about? Miss?" The maid raises a brow at your figure between the residence buildings.

"Uh..." You smile awkwardly. "Expect to never see me again. Let's pack up and m—"

"I thought it was you." Jinshi speaks up from behind you, and you turn to look away.

"I am afraid I do not know you, kind sir." You turn to face the maid, nodding.

"Beloved." His voice goes weak. "I understand if you wish not to see me, but at least look at our son."

You stop, not moving.

"I won't... do anything. I promise."

You grimace, setting the bitterness in your chest as you open your arms for your son, eyes weary and tired as look at him. You refuse to look up at Jinshi. You refuse to look at the man who had ruined your life and thrown you away during your pregnancy. Yet, you look at your son, a copy of the man you had loved, and you unconsciously put yourself on the verge of tears.

"No frown." Your son reaches for the furrows between your brows. "Niang, smile."

You muster up a sad smile for him, heart crumbling and crinkling in your chest. It feels like paper. The guilt you had so desperately tucked away in your heart shatters you in the worst of ways, and you smile at your son, holding his head to your chest as you carry him off. Jinshi follows behind you, neither of you speaking up as your son falls asleep on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as you walk around the residence.

"Where are you staying?" You speak up, stopping to stare at Jinshi.

For the first time in forever, Jinshi gets to stare into your eyes again, and his heart crumbles and cracks as he holds his demeanor, trying his best to pretend that it would be fine. You left him because of his own shortcomings. He has no right to beg for you to return without showing that he had improved as a person. So, he stares into your eyes instead, letting the silence pass as he opens his mouth to speak. Right. You... probably moved on and no longer cared for him. The emperor had granted the two of you to live separately, after all.

"The resting quarters in the city center." He stares into your eyes as he talks, hoping you could see the affection in his eyes that he had refused to let go of.

You stare back at him, eyes cold as the winter snow— it hurts him in a way, but he supposes it was deserved for leaving you all alone. You open your mouth to speak, but your son wakes in your arms, blinking slowly as he shifts to stare at you.

"Niang?" Your son wipes his eyes.

"Would you like to go home with diedie?" You ask your son, hand on the back of his head. He's much heavier than when you first had him, but it makes no difference to you. Your son is your son. The day you pass away is the day you would no longer hold him in your arms.

"Will niang go missing again if I do?"

"You have such a big vocabulary." You praise, lips curled into a smile as you press a kiss to his forehead. "Niang has to stay here. Niang promised yeye to stay here."

Jinshi opens his arms for your son, and he clings onto you instead, pouting. "Then I stay with niang."

"What about Maomao auntie?" You hum, raising a brow at him.

"Mm, I like niang better." He clings onto the fabric around your chest, and you give in.

"You will have to return to yeye with diedie when diedie leaves, though." You stroke his hair. "Alright?"

"What if diedie never leaves?"

Your eyes trail to Jinshi, eyes hardening as you warn him not to stay. "That won't happen, er."

"What if you come back with diedie?"

Some sort of weird hope blooms in Jinshi's chest at your son's words. Maybe your son could convince you.

"That would mean breaking yeye's promise, so no to that as well." You press a kiss to his forehead. "Shall we get you rested?"

He nods, leaning back onto your chest, and you wave for a maid.

"Prepare a room for my guests as well." You nod. "Eunuch Jinshi, please let Maomao know to stay at the spring residence for the duration of your stay."

"I thought you hated her."

"I hate you, not her." You turn to stare at him.

"And me?" He points at himself, pout on his lips.

"Prepare a room in the north." You hum.

"...Are you cursing me with feng shui?"

You stick your tongue out at him.

"And for the young one in your arms?" The maid inquires, peering at the eerie similarity between Jinshi and the boy.

"He shall stay with me."

The maid understands, escorting Jinshi away as you continue about your evening with your son, setting him on your bed as you sit next to him to continue embroidering. At night, when you are sure he is resting, you get out of your room, requesting the maids for some rice wine, and you settle in your garden, staring at the stars as you drink. You blink slowly, trying to recall what constellations were visible to the naked eye. You don't remember. Maybe the liquor is getting to you.

"Drinking?" Jinshi stands next to you as you lay on the ground, and you raise a brow at him.

"You shouldn't be allowed here." You hum. "I'll call the guard—"

"Wait." He holds a hand over your mouth, holding you down, and you lick his palm. "Don't scream."

You stare at him as he removes his hand, and you open your mouth to scream before he holds his hand over your mouth again, eyes wide.

"Don't."

"Depends what you want to do to me."

"Nothing bad." He whispers. "I just want to talk. I promise."

You let him remove his hand and sit up, offering him a drink. He goes quiet, drinking it in one sip as he frowns. You sit in the silence, only the wind to whisper your worries, and you don't bother reacting. Perhaps he just needed a drink and wanted to use talking as an excuse.

He finally speaks up, voice wavering.

"Why did you leave?"

"Why wouldn't I? I gave you a son, didn't I?"

"No, why did you..." He hides his face in his hands. "You didn't tell me."

"You didn't come to see me once during my pregnancy. What courtesy did I owe you?" You click your tongue uncomfortably.

"I had Maomao prescribe you medicine to keep the baby healthy—"

"You did not come see me. Maomao is not you." You stare at him. "And you can not expect to make it up by taking care of our son. It is your paternal duty to spend time with your own blood. So if you expect—"

"I don't." He mumbles. "I don't expect you to come back to me because I'm forming a bond with our son. I thought maybe... you would come back if our son asked you to."

"I promised your father I would not step foot back into the imperial palace."

"I will bring you back and bear the blame." He whispers. "As long as you come back to me."

"Not happening." You stand up. "Feel free to finish the rest of the mijiu."

"Belo—"

You don't let him finish, walking off.

You are not his beloved anymore. You are his partner-in-law, but you are not his beloved. You are the woman he left behind at her weakest and caused to spiral. You are the woman who supposedly mattered to him enough to wed you, but not enough to stay with you after the introduction of someone new. You are not his beloved simply because that was not how one treats their beloved.

You wake up the next morning to your son out of bed and dressed with Jinshi in the room. You raise a brow at him, questioning what he was doing in your room, but he points at your son, who had been on the ground playing with the toys the maids had prepared. You blink at him, smiling when he tells you good morning sweetly. Jinshi smiles gently at the way you smile at your son, and he continues playing, a smile on his face.

"So? Did the court ladies find out?"

"What?"

"That you can have kids."

"They think he's child that the emperor took in." Jinshi mumbles. "Of course, the palace maids assume I am called diedie because I took him in as soon as I found out, not because he is my son."

"Perhaps they believe he looks like you so the heavens assigned you as his father. Do they know I am the mother?"

"No. The palace maids who assisted with your birth were all executed per the emperor's orders."

"Ah." You hum. "How old is he this year?"

"Five. Do you not know your own son's name?" Jinshi stares down at you almost pitifully.

You turn to stare at Jinshi. "I named him. Of course I do."

"Why do you not call him by name?"

"Jingui." You hum, reaching your hand out for your son as he smiles.

"Yes, niang?" He holds your finger in his free hand.

"Did the maids tell you niang named you?"

"After luxury." He smiles, hugging you. "I love you, niang."

"I love you too, er." You mumble, squeezing him. "Niang's sorry I couldn't watch you grow up."

"It's okay," He whispers back. "Guigui is glad niang is here now."

You let him play again, eyes on him as Jinshi continues staring at you.

"What do you want?"

"Return to the imperial court with me."

"I'd rather die." You grumble. "I promised Agong that I would not return in exchange for residence here. I was a laughingstock there. I do not wish to return."

"You will not be. We can—"

"It doesn't matter." You hum. "You are Gui's father. I am not his mother."

"You are his mother."

"In birth." You stand up, Jinshi catching you as you stumble. You thank him with a nod, continuing. "He only needs his capable father."

"And his mother." Jinshi insists, not letting go of your wrist. "He needs his mother. The maids can not replace you for all of his life, especially since he has met you now."

"He does not need me. He may want me, but he does not need me." You hum. "He is capable of existing without his mother."

"That is not true." Jinshi slides his fingers down to your palm, hurt all over his face. "He needs you. Both he and I need you."

You shake your hand free from his. "Then you should have shown your need earlier."

Jinshi fiddles with his fingers, pout on his lips as you raise a brow incredulously at him. You ignore it, calling for a maid instead to change into the day's garments.

"Do you need—"

"I will stab you." You warn. "Out."

"What about our son? Jingui, don't you want your diedie to stay with you?"

Jingui blinks at Jinshi, and he looks at you before standing up and dusting off his robes, taking Jinshi's hand as he leads him outside of the room.

"The maids said not to watch a woman get dressed to respect her privacy." Jingui waves at you as he steps outside of the room, and you laugh at Jinshi's baffled expression. You stick your tongue out at him, lips curled into a smile as the door shuts.

He looks betrayed.

You wonder what kind of parenting the maids did to end up with Jinshi, but you don't ask. You let the maids dress you for the day, and you yawn as you step out of the room, ruffling Jingui's hair as you walk off. He trails behind you, holding your hand as

"Are you not going out with me?"

"Back to work." You hum. "I manage the estate now, you know? Lotssss of paperwork."

"Like diedie?"

"Kind of." You hum. "Diedie does more than niang, though."

"If you leave, does that mean you will have no more work?" He looks up at you.

"I can't do that. You will have to have yeye send someone else to manage the estate." You hum, pulling the doors to your study open. "Bring some snacks."

The maids nod.

"Oh, and you." You point at Jinshi. "Out."

He feigns offense, raising a brow. "What did I do?"

You open your mouth to start listing, and he grumbles. "I get it."

You smile. "Don't you have errands to run with Maomao?"

"She's looking for medicine."

"You should help her out." You hum. "The wilderness out here is quite scary. You wouldn't want someone to hurt her."

Jinshi hangs his head as he steps out of the room.

The day passes without fret, and you watch as the sun sets and you wash up for bed, the heat in the bath gentle against your skin as you take a bath by yourself. Jinshi stays with Jingui to help him wash up, and you tell the servants to stay out of the bath while you wash up. Jinshi leaves first with Jingui, and you leave last, nodding at the servants as they all rush in to wash up.

"I wanna go with niang." Jingui reaches for you as you carry him, lips curled upward.

"Hear that?"

"But diedie spends so much more time with you!" He feigns hurt.

"Exactly!" Jingui sticks his tongue out, and you laugh, cheeks warm. "I have to leave niang soon!"

"I'll take you to bed with niang." You smile. "Hear that, Jinshi? He's niang's boy."

Jinshi pouts, faking annoyance.

You tuck Jingui in for bed first, looking over a book as you stroke his hair, and a branch snaps outside of your window as your hand flies to the sword on the wall.

You whistle for the hawk to yell, sliding out one of the swords for decoration as you hold your weight against the intruder, and you watch as his eyes dart to your son. He disregards you as he aims for Jingui, and you slide your blade to his stomach, kicking him. He lands on the ground with a thud, and you hold your sword above his neck, forcing him down. Your weight isn't enough, and he throws you off of him as you throw your sword at him. It's not sharp enough. It won't cut him.

You throw yourself at him instead, his blade grazing your face as your hands wrap around his throat, your hair a mess as it falls around him, and you hold down until his face turns purple and he no longer thrashes against your grip.

At this point, you expect the maids to rush in. Instead, the first one to come is Jinshi, his thumb brushing the wound on your face as he checks your body in panic.

"Beloved, are you alright?"

"Jingui is fine." You hum, trying to pull your face from his hands.

He tightens his grip instead, staring into your eyes. "You. You're hurt."

"It's fine." You try again as the maids rush in, and you have the guards pull him to the prison. Jinshi doesn't move once, hands still on your face, only trailing down to your shoulders when you crane your neck to talk to the guards and maids.

"Will you be alright, madam?"

"I'll be fine. It's no—"

"Bring me ointment." He tells the maid. "At least let me do that much for you."

The maid looks at you for confirmation, and you nod.

"Get off of me." You push him gently, standing up as he lands on his butt. "Pretending to be worried now? You didn't bother when we were still married."

"We are married." Jinshi whispers, getting up to hold your face in his hands again. "Come on. Let me treat the wound before it turns into a scar."

"Wouldn't that be better? Then I would be uglier." You tilt your head as he takes the ointment from the maid. His fingers brush over your cheek as he leans in to take a look at you properly, and you look to the side as he applies the ointment. Now that you look at it, his face is awfully close to yours. You take note of the blush on his face as he does, and his fingers are cool against your cheek as he applies the medicine. You don't give him a reaction, and he sighs.

"Beloved, you will never be ugly to me." He mumbles, leaning in further, breath mixing with yours, and you stare at him through your lashes, wondering if he would do something.

"Diedie, are you kissing niang?"

You pull away from Jinshi abruptly, and Jinshi looks to the side, face red.

"You're awake?" You get up to hold Jingui, and he rubs his eyes.

"Niang, are you hurt?"

"It was just an intruder. No worries, er." You smile. Jingui reaches for your cheek, trying to touch the wound as Jinshi holds his wrist gently.

"Mommy has medicine on. You're going to rub it off." He hums, taking Jingui from your arms instead. "Die will hold you instead."

"Can we sleep together?"

Jinshi freezes up, blinking at you as you freeze up too, blinking slowly at Jingui.

"Can we?" He pouts.

"I'll keep watch." Jinshi nods. "Maybe another time. Niang is still mad at Diedie."

"You can rest with diedie for the night. Niang has to clean up after the mess." You hum, kissing his cheek. "Niang will go find you in the morning."

"I can clean up." Jinshi frowns.

"It'll be fine." You hum. "The heavenly emperor assigned me to this residence, so I shall fulfill his will."

"He is my father. He would not mind if I were to help my own wife—"

"There's no need." You smile firmly. "Keep your hands clean of my dirt."

You shut the door behind you as you follow the maids to your office, and Jinshi presses his lips to your son's head, resting your son's head on his shoulder as he hums.

"Um, Sir." One of the maids whispers. "If I may... the mistress has a bed in her office. Perhaps the boy could rest there?"

"You think so?" He chuckles. "I'll keep watch for the night. Please lead me there."

He wanders through the residence, the red poles dark in the night, even with the lanterns lit. The floor is crafted of white, and the intricacies of stone along the pillars are dusted gold, and he wonders how much of it had been brought back to life by you. It eats him alive, even with your son in his arms, he wonders if you had worked out to be able to carry your son one day, even if he were too old to be carried.

The stars twinkle in the distance, and he lets himself smile.

"Mistress? May the child borrow your bed?"

"Meimei," You grumble. "I thought I told you to check on them, not bring them to me."

"The boy missed you."

You sigh. "Come in."

"I shall guard." Jinshi nods.

"You may rest as well." You hum. "I shall be heading to the prison tomorrow. I just need to send the hawk."

Jinshi watches as you attach the note to the hawk, and he gets up to hold your face again. "Why not leave Jingui to Meimei? I'll fetch Maomao to see if there's a better ointment for your face to prevent scarring."

"I told you, I am not bothered by such trivial matters."

"It matters to me." He mumbles. "Tomorrow."

"I must interrogate the criminal tomorrow."

"Then right now."

"You do not dare to wake her up for something so minuscule." You glare at him. "Rest with Xiaogui today. I shall call for the two of you tomorrow after dealing with the assassin."

"You must rest well." Jinshi mumbles, kissing your forehead gently. "Please."

You grimace at the kiss. "Very well."

You interrogate the assassin in the morning, sighing when he reveals the target was your son. It must have been a jealous consort or something. You wonder if she thought he would be next in line for the throne since the emperor let the boy call him Grandpa. The consort is some low-ranking one in the main palace, and you don't bother sparing him any mercy, telling the guards to kill him and send his head as a warning. That ought to teach her.

"The eunuch and boy are looking for you."

"Send them to my tea room. I'll see them there."

"Mistress, would you like a change of clothes?" Another maid asks.

"No need." You mumble. "It's fine to go like this."

"What tea shall I prepare?"

"Honey ginger." You hum. "And some cookies for the child."

They nod as you open the door to the room.

"Niang!" Jingui runs up to hug you, and you hum.

"Did you sleep well?"

He nods. You let Jinshi carry him as you work on the papers, and you speak up after Jingui gets drowsy. Perhaps he had been living in a life of assassinations and you were not aware. It would make you feel most awful if he was.

"Are they common?"

Jinshi raises a brow.

"The assassins."

Jinshi shakes his head. "Not in the imperial palace. The emperor has the most security for him compared to anyone."

"I see." You mumble. "How about Maomao? Surely people try poisoning her because she is close to you?"

"She is immune to poisons."

"Right." Your lips quirk up. "I'll send her with a gift this time. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Jinshi raises a brow, significantly worried. "Not a poison, right?"

"No promises." You grin.

Jinshi spends the rest of his time trying to spend more time with you and your son, desperation practically reeking off his skin as he sticks to you like a lost puppy without an owner, and the maids start gossiping with you about the potential marriage partner. You snort, telling them that there was no reason he would want a woman who had been used before. You avoid telling them the truth out of an unknown fear. You don't know what stops you. Perhaps you are still worried that he loves Maomao and is only doing this for his blood. Maybe he isn't being honest with you.

It takes a week for him to get to visit you at night, and another week for him to be allowed in your chambers. Maomao reminds him that he can only spare a week here per the emperor's orders, but he pays no mind. He is sure that the heavenly emperor would not mind him spending more time with you. He's sure the old man knew it. After all, he had given him a knowing smile when he had told him to travel with his son and Maomao. It made him feel as though the emperor were up to something. Perhaps he had known Jinshi would see you here.

It is the third week that he had stayed past his welcome when he sits down for a drink with you.

"Play with me." He holds the board with him. "I miss playing wuziqi with you."

"Hm. What do I get if I win?" You reach for the white, placing it down in the center.

"Whatever you want."

"I haven't played in a long time." You hum. "Your turn."

"May we have a heart to heart talk?"

"Be my guest." You hum.

"Why did you leave?"

"You took an interest in Maomao." You hum, placing another bead down. "And I ran away before you could divorce me."

"I did not wish to divorce you." He frowns.

"The whole palace was talking about it, and the emperor did not stop me, so I decided to leave." You shrug.

"I took Maomao in because I wished that she would prescribe some medicine for fertility."

"We had a son, no?"

"We did, but I had been taking medicine prior to that prescribed by her."

"You wanted her for her wisdom just like you wanted me for mine." You hum. "It was a fear, or maybe I just saw myself in her. She is my age, after all."

"Our age." Jinshi reminds. "We are all the same age."

"I suppose." You shrug. "But it felt like I was replaced."

"You were not."

"There was no way to confirm. Not when you had been trying to shove honey down her throat, anyway." You hum. "Four."

He clicks his tongue, stopping you. "What do I get if I win?"

"I suppose you get to bed me." You mumble. "Assuming you haven't bedded Maomao."

"I have not." He clenches his jaw. "I have not touched another woman in years. I am not as so much of a degenerate as to bed women who are not my wife."

"Who knows." You hum. "Four."

"I am not able to bed women there, anyway. After all, I am an eunuch."

"Except I heard Maomao found out you were not one."

"Ah." He freezes up, stopping your newly formed row of four. "That much was an accident. I suppose I saw fragments of you in her."

"Perhaps you had just found her beautiful." You hum. "I most certainly did. She is quite smart, drawing freckles on her face to hide her radiance."

"I found her beautiful, but only because she had reminded me of the plum blossoms on the day I met you." He smiles. "I win."

"What would you like?"

"Let me bed you, please." He whispers. "My wife. My beloved. Let me bed you."

"You must be desperate for some touch." You take off your outer robe, letting the maids know to retire for the night. "Very well."

"You may say no." He whispers, forehead pressed to yours, eyes genuine as he looks at you. "I am not forcing you."

"I don't care if you are using me for your own pleasure." You mumble. "I have not been bedded in the same amount of time."

"Heavens, that burns me more than it should." He wastes no time in undressing, lips pressed to yours as he leads you to the bed, caging your body in as he leans over you, a leg pressed between yours, lips moving against yours messily as his yearning crashes into your body like a wave, his hands tugging at your robes desperately, freeing your skin from the silk and fabric, lips latching to your collarbone to suck, biting all to desperately, rutting into you as he were some rabid dog, his body craving yours as though you were some drug he could not live without.

His fingers slip past your folds as he had done before all the times he had slept with you, bone of his wrist brushing your clit as he slides a finger in with ease, his mouth moving up to your neck, sucking gently as he listens to the way your breath hitches and you whimper when his fingers brush your sweet spot, and he continues, fingers pressing hard as you squeak, sucking you as he pants, desperate to remember your scent for the next handful of months he would no longer be able to see you during. When you quiver around his fingers and flutter, he slides his fingers out, licking them as he pushes you onto the bed, lining himself up, staring down at you for one last promise of consent.

"We can stop." He whispers.

"No."

And that's all Jinshi needs.

Jinshi presses your hips down into the mattress, hips moving against yours as he fucks you, desperation all over his fingers, lips attached to your neck as he sucks, his own breathy ragged as he spends his own stamina satisfying you, passion bleeding past his fingers as his body consumes you, desperate to make up the lost time with you from before. At this point, he disregards how many passing maids will hear his own moans, too focused on the way your skin felt between his fingers and too focused on the way your head was thrown back in a bliss he hadn't seen you wear before.

He wondered how many years you went without being bedded.

Well, not that it mattered. He had probably gone the same amount of time without bedding someone. How could he? The guilt would have eaten him alive from the inside out. So, he channels all his lost years into you instead, groaning when you cum around him again, eyes teary and cheeks puffy, your lips red from his kissing earlier. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as your words become incoherent, slurred as he moves a hand down to play with your clit. You squeal as he does, squirming under his touch as he continues to hold you down.

"I love you." He whispers, tears in the corner of his eyes as you can barely hear him.

"I love you." He repeats, with his chest this time, tears splattering onto your chest as he whimpers.

"I love you so much." He gasps as his thumb speeds up on your clit, making you gasp sharply at his confession, your head spinning.

You gush around him again as he finally feels himself reach a high, heart racing against his ribcage as he groans, crashing into you as he pumps you full, resting his head on your collar as you both catch your breaths, and Jinshi feels himself get hard in you again, his shoulders tensing as he does. He can't. He's going to break you, and you're never going to talk to him ever again. He's going to ruin you like he did years ago, and the universe is going to punish him by taking you away again—

"More." You whimper. "Until you've had your fill."

"I'm going to break you." He whispers.

"I'm sure Jingui wouldn't mind having a sibling..." You whisper back.

Jinshi's pupils dilate as he starts again, and you yelp as he goes without warning, a mix of your cum and his making a squelch with each thrust of his. It's lewd. It sounds like the most sinful thing in the world, yet Jinshi thinks of it as music to his ears, all too focused on pleasing you and getting rid of his pent-up lust, your body finally under his as he's waited all these years. He thinks of it as some kind of blessing, to be able to consume your sense as wholly as he used to, only this time sure that you weren't crying because of something he did. He still had lots of making up to do for you, but he supposes this is a start.

You gush around him another time, crying over how it hurt, but still no safe word. He laughs something between a chuckle and scorn, thrilled at the way that you looked like that under him. The maids had been whispering about how you had never bedded anyone once despite your status as supposedly single in the residence, and it made his head spin with possessiveness at the thought that you had still been loyal despite how much he hurt you. He would make it up, he promised. He would stay until the morning this time, and you would get to wake up in his arms like you used to.

The thought makes his hips stutter into yours as you're flooded with warmth a second time, your moan depraved as you feel him fill you again, the white from the sex staining the sheets and your thighs, and you both catch your breath this time, and Jinshi rests his forehead on yours, heavy breaths slipping past his lips as he stares into your eyes, hand moving to brush the hair from your face as you stare at him through glassy eyes.

"I'll be here when you wake up." He whispers. "I'll be here in the morning."

You close your eyes, nodding to the best of your ability.

"I'll kill you if you aren't."

He laughs, rolling over to rest on his back, fingers intertwined with yours as he rolls to his side to look at you.

"You're sticky." You grimace.

"And?" He hums. "So are you."

"We need a bath." You grumble. "I should call a maid to clean me up."

"That will be tomorrow's problem, beloved." He hums, lips curling upward. "Lay with me, my dear."

"If you insist, my love."

You help Maomao and Jinshi pack up their things to go, sending small gifts for the journey with them, and you laugh when Maomao thanks you profusely for the fritillaria unibracteata, and you wave it off as nothing big, a smile on your lips. She promises you that she'll owe you one the next time you need something from her, and you chuckle as she gets onto the carriage with Jingui. Your son gives you one last kiss before getting on as well, and only Jinshi stays behind and refuses to let you go, brushing his thumb over your knuckles as he talks to you.

"Will you... return?"

You shake your head, lips curled into a smile. "Unless you would like to stay?"

"Would you let me?"

"No. I would let Jingui stay, though." You smile at your son peeking at you through the window.

"You would met Jingui stay?" He gasps.

"Yeye would not be happy." Jinshi reminds. "We will return to pick niang up, alright?"

"I will tell yeye to let you come with Jingui next time." Your son stares into your eyes, eerily serious, and you smile.

"Tell yeye I said hi."

Jingui motions for you to come over instead, pressing his lips to your cheek through the window as you laugh, lips curled into a smile as you give him one back. He giggles, reaching his hand out the window to hold yours, and Jinshi shakes his head at his son. He leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, making Maomao gag in the carriage. He takes your other hand and presses your knuckles to his lips, a smile on his face as he hums against them.

"I shall return for you."

"I shall be waiting."

Jinshi lets go of your fingers, not without one more kiss to your lips, lifting his sleeve to hide the two of you from your son and Maomao as he does. You roll your eyes once he pulls away, and you nod at them as they leave. You stay in place until the carriage is long gone, and you hum, heading back to work with the maids to manage the estate.

When spring comes the next year, the wound on your cheek is gone, a golden carriage arrives, and you laugh as Jingui jumps out of it into your arms, much bigger, smile much brighter. Jinshi steps out next, offering you a hand to pull you up as he introduces the new manager of the estate. Maomao grins at you, whispering about the trade, and you let her know there are farms upon farms of medicine in the land, only for her to grin cheekily at you. You suppose she has her much wanted freedom now.

"Shall we go?" Jinshi offers his hand to help you up as Jingui holds his hand out for you on the carriage, and you smile.

"We shall."

And finally, you are home.

[obxsprincess]

just imagining aphrodites daughter working in the camp medic, because somehow you never get sick

you feel so useless though :( n you hated it. almost all the older boys fake a sickness just to see you, telling you how pretty you are, n’ trying every trick in the book to make you swoon. you had no problem giving them a sweet smile before shutting the door in their faces

you had no problem doing it… until luke fucking castellan started coming.

“you know it’s late right?” his voice makes you jump, dropping the bandages only moments ago you were trying to organize

you squeak as you feel two hands wrap around your waist, turning you too him he laughs. wide eyes finding his, body pressed against yours you had no idea he was right behind you !

”god, luke! you scared me!”

“n’ now I have to pick up all these band-”

n he doesn’t answer, instead pulling you closer, goosebumps kissing every part of your body that touches his

your breath hitches in your throat, hands finding his chest for balance as a smile tugs on his lips

still silent, his hand curls around the counter top behind you, pinning you against it and him as he slowly kneels down. picking up the few bandages that fell and placing them back up. his brown eyes never lefts yours, like the teasing bastard he was

you swear you can’t really breathe, and you know he knows that as he finally stands back up, that god for saken smile plastured on his lips !

“sorry about that-“ his breath fans your neck “but I missed you” your head spinned, n you’d have thought he was actually sick from the feverish touch of his lips against your skin, your collarbone, your jaw

warm, dizzy, and desperate. that’s how luke kissed, and how he made you feel… fuck !

head tipping back n your hands tugged at his shirt

he pulls away for a moment, hands gliding down your waist, down your hips “do you want me to stop?”

you both were panting “n-no. please luke, just kiss me”

that same god damn smile “I have a fever though, love”

he’s such a taunting asshole ! you rolled your eyes, smashing his lips against yours before luke could notice that curl the that tugged at yours

he groaned, lifting you on top of the counter, your pretty legs wrapping around his middle

his hands explored your body, so soft under his hands. lukes abs pressed against your beginning to throb sex. it was so much, n not enough all in one

”I-I hate you, castellan” you somehow manage, squeaking as his tongue glides against your lips. mirroring his hands sliding lower n lower

“mhm do ya? the feelings mutuel, baby”

if the passionate, feverish, addiction-laced way he ate you out could be considered hate, than he definitely did

[explicit-tae]

when is the next part of ungodly hour please tell me 😫

right here! introudcing a request that a few people has been wanting to see

Ungodly Hour (8)

Fuck Chaeyoung and Jimin for always being able to figure out when something is wrong with you.

word count: 2.684

“Girl,” Chaeyong’s voice says over the phone. It echos off of the bathroom walls. She’s watching you as you violently brush your teeth and in the process of scrubbing your tongue, a look of disgust on your face. Your phone is leaning against one of the toothbrush holders and she appears visibly amused.  “maybe you’re pregnant.”

You choke, feeling yourself ready to vomit again - this time due to Chaeyoung’s words. Your eyes widen and you stare back at your phone for a moment. Spitting the toothpaste and rinsing your mouth, you turn off the water. 

“Don’t,” you say with gritted teeth. “start that shit again.”

Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. She’s in the process of making herself a sandwich. She shakes her head as she butters her bread. “You missed your period and you’re throwing up. What else can it be?” Chaeyoung was indeed correct. But, your periods were often irregular so that could never be a sign of pregnancy. You’ve gone two months without it before just for it to come on a random Wednesday work shift.

“I’m on birth control.”

“That’s never 100% effective.” Chaeyoung scoffs. “People get pregnant while on birth control all the time.”

Chaeyoung was right again and you could only sigh. You want to blame your sudden nausea on food poisoning. Maybe something you ate just didn’t sit right with you - that’s always a possibility. Maybe you were just getting sick as the seasons changed. Pregnancy would be the last of your options as anything could be possible.

“Let’s not forget that your boyfriend often has to remind you to take said birth control.”

“Shut up.” you grumble, snatching your phone and making your way out of the bathroom. You hated when Chaeyoung was right because it only meant that your mind would be wandering on the possibilities. 

“I can’t be pregnant now. That means I’ll have a Scorpio.” you murmur, crashing down against Jungkook’s bed, silk sheets inviting you in. “There’s enough birthdays in November as it is. It’ll completely ruin the vibe.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you were being a whore on Valentine’s day.” Chaeyoung sing-songs, her sandwich now complete and she munches onto it happily. “Can’t blame you. Jungkook did go all out like always.”

You’re positive you know just where it all began and like Chaeyoung said, Jungkook had to be the dramatic type that made you want to fuck him. The amount of roses you walked into had to be costly and you’re sure he must’ve bought out half of the store alone. The gifts, the home cooked meals along with the low music, champagne…

“Fuck Jeon Jungkook.” you grumble, throwing your phone beside you so Chaeyoung can see your view - the ceiling and she’s positive you were wallowing in self pity.

Truly, Fuck Jeon Jungkook and the way you can never seem to stay off of him.

It took a week for you to decide to get a pregnancy test that you were sure would be negative regardless. You weren’t going to let Chaeyoung’s words of despair get to you - and you were only taking this test to prove to her (and yourself) that you weren’t pregnant and that whatever is going on with you was just a mere sickness.

The brown paper bag sits on the bathroom counter and has been for hours now. Jungkook wasn’t the one to check what wasn’t his and you’re unsure why you’re hesitant on taking it.

It’s Sunday now and that meant that not only was Jungkook here, but so was Namjoon, Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin. They gather in the living room, movie blasting throughout the space and you walk by without any of them batting an eye.

All except Jimin as he was the only one who ever wanted to humor you and this fake beef you two held for one another.

“Well, well…you finally decided to join us.” Jimin calls, eyes watching as you make your way towards the kitchen. 

“Fuck off, Jimin.”

Taehyung snorts, allowing a few chuckles to be released.

Jimin looks around, wondering why in the world you could possibly tell him to fuck off out of all people. Of course, he didn't because he was Jimin. This causes him to sit forward and tilt his head.

“You look different.” Jimin notes, eyes taking in your appearance. This causes Jungkook’s head to turn to see whatever it was that Jimin saw.

Jungkook’s eyes being on you causes goosebumps to litter your skin and you desperately want to tell Jimin to fuck off again, but that wouldn’t do any good.

“You look…healthy.” Jimin’s eyes begin to squint a bit, his head tilting to the other side.

“Healthy?” you snicker with a roll of your eyes. “What the fuck did I look before?”

“Ugh, Y/N, shut up.” Jimin stands, making his way around the couch and towards you. You can feel Jungkook’s eyes on you and his friend, but he remains silent. “You look…dare I say glowy.”

You click your tongue inside your mouth. Jimin’s tone is different, almost as if confused. His eyes study you closely.

“If I didn’t know you, Jimin, I would say you’re flirting with me.” you turn away and go towards the box of pizza on the counters. 

Jimin cackles. “As if I would go for anyone like you.” 

“That’s a lot coming from a man like you.” you bite back. “I know exactly what girls you like.”

Jimin swallows back his words, a soft tint to his cheeks. No one was ever going to let him live down what that bitch said. “I pay for Onlyfan’s once and suddenly I’m the one being laughed at.” he grumbles to himself.

“I actually like her. She humbles you and it’s exactly what you need.” you open a box of pizza - pepperoni. You grab at it and inhale, the smell reaches your nose and instantly you drop it right back into the box.

Jimin’s eyebrows furrow at your actions, watching you closely. His arms begin to cross and it’s as if alarm bells were going off in his head. 

“You little slut.” Jimin smirks.

Your stomach churns and you can feel the increase of saliva inside your mouth. You let out a shaky breath.

“You…that’s why you look so glowy. It’s too soon to look like this now…” Jimin speaks - mainly to himself. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

It happens entirely too fast and maybe this was just Jimin’s karma for annoying you constantly. You appear to be stuck, completely frozen in place, when you vomit entirely onto him. The man screeches and gags at the warm vomit hitting his chest. 

Jungkook is on his feet immediately, coming to your side. He places a hand onto your back, a look of concern on his face. “Y/N? Baby, are you okay?”

“What the fuck?!” Jimin hisses, eyes wide with disbelief. “I’m the one with stomach acid on me! Can someone ask if I’m okay?”

“This isn’t about you right now.” Jungkook waves him off. “Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“She…oh wow.” Jimin watches in disbelief as Jungkook ushers you away. His shirt sticks to him sickeningly. 

Hoseok is the first to laugh, shaking his head at Jimin. 

“What just happened?” Namjoon questions.

Now you feel like crying out of embarrassment as Jungkook brings you into the bathroom. “Do  you still need to throw up? Was it something you ate earlier?” he asks, his mind going on a thousand different possibilities on how you could be sick right now. 

“N-No, I’m fine.” you murmur, pushing yourself away from him and going to brush your teeth again. Your body is hot - mainly due to humiliation of having vomited on Jimin. You wouldn’t be this embarrassed if it was just Jimin there, because well, fuck him. But the other’s…

You groan, scrubbing the taste of vomit out of your mouth.

Jungkook watches closely. 

“You’re not fine. Are you sick?” he questions. “You probably need some medicine.”

Jungkook looks around the bathroom for a moment, his eyes dropping on the brown paper bag that’s folded in half. He looks at it for a moment. “Is this medicine you got earlier or-”

“No!”

It isn’t your intention to snatch the bag out of his hands the way you do. Jungkook is taken aback by your actions, eyes widening slightly. He takes a step back, apologetic about touching something that wasn’t his. 

“I-I mean-”

“It’s okay.” Jungkook shakes his head. He swallows. “I’m…going to clean up out there. I’ll be back.”

Jungkook leaves the bathroom and now you feel worse than before. You shut off the water and groan.

You don’t want Jungkook to think that him trying to help was a bad decision. The paper bag is crumbling in your grasp and it’s a sign that you can no longer put off the contents on what’s inside of it.

You were a grown woman and a little pregnancy test shouldn’t scare you. You’ve dealt with tougher scenarios and this was outside of your character. Your mother didn’t raise you to be a scared bitch.

So you took the test - ripping the bag open entirely and then the rectangular box. It happens all under a minute and you realize this is the first time you ever took a pregnancy test.

You placed the top onto the test and put it on top of the brown paper bag as you await for what it says.

“Five minutes…” you murmur to yourself.

Jungkook doesn’t expect to see you so soon. He’s cleaning up a bit of vomit from the floor when you enter the kitchen. He had already managed to get everyone out of the home as Jimin ripped off the shirt and hurled it into the trash before exiting himself. He offers a smile your way. “Feeling better?”

“I’m such a bitch.” you sigh with a shake of your head.

Jungkook snickers. “What do you mean?” he asks. “You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.”

“Shut up and stop being so nice.” you grumble. “I shouldn’t have acted that way in the bathroom. I’m just…” you inhale deeply. Your mother would have surely given you a mouth full if she saw the way you treated her precious Jungkook.

Jungkook continues to clean the rest of the mess before turning back to you. He notices you’re completely still, watching his every move. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jungkook takes a few steps closer to you. “You got a fever or something?”

Jungkook’s hands are soft but a bit cool to the touch. He touches your forehead and rubs it down towards your cheek. 

“You don’t feel warm.” Jungkook comments. “I…” you trail off, unable to shake the look of Jungkook’s eyes off of you. “...my mother didn’t raise a scared bitch.” you repeat the same words aloud and it causes Jungkook to laugh.

“What do you mean-”

“I might be pregnant.” you interrupt him, needing to get the weight off of your shoulders. And you’re surprised that it did. You exhale with a raise of your brows. “That was easier than I thought it’d be.”

You look Jungkook in the eye, his doe ones staring intently back at you.

“I took a test.” you continue. “That’s what was inside the brown paper bag and why I snatched it the way I did.”

For once Jungkook is silent and it causes your stomach to churn again - this time with nerves. He’s so silent that you’re unable to read his expression.

Standing in front of him becomes a bit awkward and you’re anxious to get out of this situation entirely. 

“I’m gonna go…” you go to move yourself and this is what causes Jungkook to snap himself back into reality.

“I was processing your words.” Jungkook shakes his head, dropping his hand from your cheek. “Sorry…” he murmurs, blinking a few times. “...How long have you…suspected it?”

You take a deep breath then scoff. “I’ve been in denial. With Chaeyoung and Jimin it’s hard to not face reality.”

Jungkook hums, he suppose that’s why you threw up on Jimin so suddenly.

“I can’t read you.” you murmur, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze. “You’re usually…more readable.”

“Would you be upset if you were pregnant right now?”

Now that you had admitted to him that there was a possibility of pregnancy, he wants to be open with you. He wants to hear your thoughts and feelings about the situation. 

“It’s not ideal.” you shrug your shoulders, pondering on the question. “Would you?” “No.” Jungkook admits. “Of course not. I love you.”

You sigh. Fuck Jeon Jungkook and how understanding he was.

“But I also know this isn’t something you want…” Jungkook lets his hand touch your cheek once more and now you allow your eyes to meet his. 

“Well, duh.” you scoff. “I still haven’t met your parents. They're going to think I’m a whore if I just show up pregnant.” you’re only half joking but just the thought of meeting his parents and having to deliver news of a pregnancy just sounded backwards.

“They wouldn’t!” Jungkook insists. “My mom’s been dying to meet you.” he admits. He had to convince his mother countless times to not just show up randomly at his home and take matters into her own hands. “I've just been waiting for you to be ready. There isn’t a rush.”

Jungkook’s thumb traces the outline of your lips. He smiles down at you.

“Stop smiling. You’re supposed to be…”

Jungkook furrows a brow. “Suppose to be what? Mad?” he snorts - it’s almost as if you didn’t know him entirely. He had already planned the wedding in his mind and exactly how many kids he wanted to have with you (if you allowed). 

“Well I wasn’t expecting you to look so fucking excited, either.” you hiss, lightly pushing at his chest. “The test can be negative, you know. It could be fatigue or my blood sugar could be high or low…”

Jungkook nods his head at your words, listening to you. “Or, you can be pregnant,” he states. “Either or, I want what’s best for you. One step at a time.”

You nod your head at him and allow your cheek to nestle into his palm. 

“We can check together.” Jungkook leans closer to you, his nose tickling yours. “And we’ll do what we need to do from there.”

Jungkook pecks your lips in a comforting kiss. It’s weird to see how domesticated the two of you are - how comfortable. You would’ve never seen yourself entertaining someone like Jungkook a year ago, but now you and he are together constantly. You feel at home when you’re  around him; at ease when you’re in his warm embrace. Your heart is full whenever you’re around him and it yearns whenever you’re away for too long.

Fuck Jeon Jungkook and the way he has made you soft for him; this wasn’t suppose to be. You were supposed to finish college as independently as possible and focus on a career until you decided you were ready to entertain anyone.

How the tables truly turned.

“I’m scared.”

Jungkook wraps his arms around you, chin resting on your shoulder. The test is a few feet away and none of you can see the answer on it just yet.

“This is the first time you’ve admitted you are scared.” Jungkook teases. “I thought your mother didn’t raise a scared bitch.”

“Fuck you.”

“I did and this is why we’re in this predicament.” Jungkook retorts coolly. “We’ll check together, okay?”

“Okay.” you nod your head. 

Jungkook and you step further into the bathroom and you grab the test. You turn around to face him, looking into his anticipating eyes. “So…do we both look or do I look and tell you or-”

“You’re procrastinating again, baby.” Jungkook places his hand on top of yours. “We’ll look together.”

Jungkook’s eyes lowers to the test in your hands just as yours does. The test tightens in your grasp as you look down at the letters on the small screen.

See the Future (Final Part)

@minaamhh @suciedad-divina @satisfied18 @y2k5bby @petalsofink @swga-ficrecs @rrrapmonste-rr @xtrataerrestrial @bangctans @danielle143 @taekritimin123 @thelilbutifulthings @jksjx @tasha-0795 @busanbby-jjk @joonlover1207 @hollowtree11 @amberpanda99 @parkinglot-nights @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @hoseokteardrop @jingerbreadoutofstock @subtaegguk @ultimatebasura

[ch-4-eri]

LOVE POTIONS — Jill Valentine.

best friend’s mom! jill X female reader.

warnings: 18+ mdni!! age gap (don’t say i didn’t warn you) oral, dirty talk, hints at the reader being a virgin if you squint. i don’t know if i’m missing anything let me know.

word count: 1.4k

i’m so sick for this, i’ll go to hell on my own, don’t fuck your friend’s mothers guys. but do enjoy this.

you couldn’t explain it, even if you wanted, the whole thing was messy from the beginning.

it was supposed to be something innocent, completely harmless and has no threat to anyone in your life or yourself.

or your best friend.

if only you never met his mother, Jill Valentine, government agent, and a former RPD S.T.A.R.S member.

but god, you didn’t think it through.

didn’t think your attitude and the way you looked at the woman were entirely calculated, jill knew.

this woman has a love for details and reading you, every time you came over; what you’d say and what’d you do, what you’re wearing.

she’d show you she’s busy, working documents and important things for the BSAA, jill to you was just a best friend’s mother.

but you both had one hell of an unspoken sexual tension.

which you tried to hide, tried to shove in the back of your mind as your age gap is fucking nuts and you always worry someone would read your mind which isn’t even a realistic idea, but still, you were too anxious to act on it, even alone, self awareness preventing you from being able to stay in your head for long.

but jill on the other hand… when every time she analysed you, how you talk, how you act, your ass in your tiny skirts drives her fucking crazy enough she finds herself unable to sleep, her hand inside her shorts as she’s pumping herself up at the thought of you with her hand covering her mouth.

surely she felt ashamed, a woman her age acting and thinking like this, she felt so much guilt and shame for operating like a damn teenage boy riling with hormones over a girls ass in a skirt.

a girl her son’s age.

she knew if he ever found her out, he’d hate her forever and she can’t afford losing him, not after fighting for his custody for many years with her ex husband.

but that’s not what she had in mind that day, when she had you splayed down her bed so late at night, her fingers in your mouth as she ate you out like no tomorrow, your legs on her shoulders, your moans muffled by her thick fingers pressing down your tongue, drooling all over them.

“taste’s so good..” jill groaned against your clit, her mouth engulfing you, sending your back arching, she pulls away and sits up, making you ache at the loss of contact and the warmth you felt between your legs.

jill removed her fingers from your mouth, wiping your saliva off them down her bedsheets, going on her knees to meet your eyes as you were so lost in the feeling of pleasure you never got from anyone else other than this woman, a woman you shouldn’t even be doing this with.

but neither of you were even thinking of that right now.

jill had your chin in her palm as you opened your eyes, your breathing shaky and heavy, drool covering your chin as you smelled like sex and vanilla to the older woman’s nostrils.

“i want you to sit on my face, yeah? can you do that for me?” jill smirked, licking her lips with the tongue you want to be inside you again so badly.

you nodded eagerly, the thought of having her mouth against your pussy again was driving you mad with chills coursing through your body. “mhm.. yes please.” you begged, your eyes staring into hers pleadingly, like a lost puppy. fucked up enough.

jill patted your legs, lying down on the mattress of her huge bed, she wasn’t wearing anything other than her lacey bra and underwear, she was a fucking sight, you’d drool on her looks alone. even for a woman her age, she was damn delicious and you couldn’t get your eyes off her as you went on your knees and crawled to her.

she prepared the seat that was her face you were going to be sitting on for the next many minutes, hopefully hours if it were up to the older woman. moving her short brown hair away from her blue eyes you’d drown in.

as you made it closer to her, you were a bit nervous, a question rolling around your head you had to make sure of, you had to ask, as silly as it made you sound to a woman with so much experience.

“do i sit or hover?” you asked, your voice betraying you, your cheeks rosy and lips red and swollen.

jill chuckled, like she was making fun of you. “sit.” she demands. “i want you to suffocate me.” jill added, taking a hold of your thigh as she brought you closer with her strong grip.

“i want you to cum in my mouth.. am i clear, sweet girl?” she demanded as soon as you gasped, raising an eyebrow at your hesitation.

“y-yes..” you nodded like the puppy you are, you weren’t going to upset her, you hated to refuse jill.

and jill hated it when you refused her.

you finally scooted up to jill’s head, placing a knee next to her head, the other doing the same as you lowered your body so your wet pussy made contact with her nose, both of you let out a sigh while jill’s hands positioned you properly on her face, and as soon as you felt her tongue lick a long stripe up your sopping wet hole you let out a sickeningly pornographic moan, your hands grabbing at the headboard of her bed.

“ah.. jill..” you breathed, your thighs squeezing the older woman’s head, her tongue sucking and licking at your hole as she made it her sole purpose for you to cum in her mouth and if she keeps this up you’re gonna do it more than once, not that jill would complain.

her strong hands gripped your ass so tight, her tongue brutally slamming inside of you, as was her nose, sliding it up and down which drew pathetic moans out of you.

jill was humming, groaning into you, making your legs shake and your thighs closing in on her, and you were worried you were hurting her even though jill was having a fucking blast, she adored those damn thighs, if she suffocateds and dies like this it’ll all be worth it.

“please.. can’t take this anymore.” you cried out, making jill just suck at your clit like a starved woman, her body humming and shivering as she was desperate to get touched as well, rubbing her thighs together while her hands reached your hips in a bruising grip.

you were shuddering and whimpering, your legs so weak as you didn’t want to put your full weight on the woman’s face. “jill..” you moaned as she flicked her tongue against your sopping walls, your thighs filled with goosebumps.

“i’m..” you start, your lower belly so tight with a burning sensation that you were so close to your release, jill positioned you right into her mouth as she knew you were close, drinking you up as you finally gushed your orgasm down her mouth like she wanted.

“mmm..” jill mumbled, swallowing every last bit of what you can give her, you tasted like heaven, fucking delicious.

you were trying to catch your breath, your heart hammering against your rib cage as jill patted your thigh.

you weakly pulled your knee away from her head, your legs were shaking like crazy, your center so sensitive and puffy.

“i bet you can’t walk now, huh?” jill joked, sitting up on her elbows, her cheeks red from the heat of being between your thighs for as long as she just was, her nose and her lips shiny and sticky from your release and you were so sick for thinking she looked so darn good with your cum on her face.

you gulped, heat rushing into your cheeks at her words. “just a little sore.” you mumbled shyly, like you weren’t just seated on her face.

“a little sore hm? come here for me..” jill gestured for you to come closer to her. “you think you can just rest without returning the favour?”

jill smirked and brushed your hair away from your face, brushing two fingers against your hardened nipples.

“i know you can’t handle me sitting on your face… i’m afraid i’d break you entirely… but you have fingers don’t you?”

she says in a suggestive tone, grabbing your nipple into her mouth, your eyes closing at the sensation, your hands going into her hair as a moan escaped you.

jill took your hand and brought it near her panties.

then she pulled away with a pop, her blue eyes staring into yours so intensely. “now be a good girl and touch me.”

oh boy you’re screwed.

[watermelonlovershigh]

Day on the Yacht Turns Baby Making on the Yacht

AN: i've had this idea ever since these photos came out and knew i had to write it. and lots of you guys did too because you ate up this concept. so here yall go. hope you enjoy.

This story contains: mentions of sea sickness, trying for a baby, having sex on a yacht, slight choking (kinda), slight biting (during the sex)

{ husband!harry - softrry - current harry era }

word count: 1,962

When you're fertility tracker goes off on the yacht to let you know that now is a good time to try for a baby, you make the excuse you feel seasick and have Harry come to the bathroom with you where he fucks you good against the counter top.

You and Harry decided one way to celebrate Love On Tour ending was to rent a yacht for the day and take it on the water with a couple of his friends and family. The day you chose to sail on the waters was beautiful. The sky was nice and blue and the Italian heat was hot but not too hot. The sight of your gorgeous husband was also making the view ten times better, but that's just your opinion.

Everyone on the yacht was having a great time. Some were laying out to tan. Others were sitting around with wine coolers, chatting to one another. Harry, being the man who brought everyone together today, was going around and trying to spread his attention.

First having a laugh with his long time Italian friends who are actually a gay married couple which you both attended their wedding three years ago. Then sitting beside his sister Gemma and her long time boyfriend, Michal. Of course Harry pays attention to you as well, asking if you're alright and bringing you another drink when you mention being parched.

About two hours into your yacht ride your phone buzzes in your hands. You didn't really have cell service in the ocean so you thought that was weird. But when you checked to see who texted you, you realized it wasn't a text. It was a notification from your fertility tracking app that tells you when you're most fertile and need to try for a baby.

See, for a few months now you and Harry have been trying to get pregnant. You knew his tour was ending in July and thought it would be the perfect time for you to settle down for a while and have a baby.

At first you just had sex willy nilly to get pregnant, but after several negative pregnancy tests, decided to download an app to help tell you when you're most fertile. Though not every time you have sex is with the sole mission of a baby. Sometimes you just have sex for simply the intimacy aspect.

Fuck, you internally curse. How the hell are you gonna fuck your husband while you're on a yacht surrounded by his friends and family. Thinking for a minute you come up with a plan. You can fake being seasick so he has an excuse to go down to the bathrooms with you and do some quick baby making without anyone batting an eye.

Knowing it's now or never, you fake grown and cry out, "Harry..."

He looks over at you from where he's sitting beside his sister and asks, "Yeah, love? What's the matter?"

Not exactly wanting the whole boat to know you're seasick, you wave him over to you. Harry gets up imidiantly and stalks over towards where you're sat on the side edge of the yacht. When he's close enough, you whine, "Just feeling a bit seasick. Can you take me to the toilets on the bottom level, please?"

"Yeah, of course, baby." Harry is quick to agree. The genuine worry on his face makes you feel bad for lying. But you know you won't feel bad in a few minutes when his cock is deep inside of you.

He takes ahold of your hand and very quickly steps over to Gemma to inform someone, "Hey, Y/N is feelin' a bit ill. M'gonna take her to the toilets. Hopefully we won't be gone long."

Gemma frowns and replies sweetly, "Awe, that's fine. Hope you feel better soon, Y/N." You mouth a "thank you" and tug Harry's arm in the direction of the stairs that lead to the bottom floor of the yacht.

While on your journey to the bathroom, Harry kindly asks, "When did you start to feel sick? You could have told me sooner and I would have seen if I could've borrowed a motion sickness pill off someone for you." How did you get so lucky to have married such a pure and sweet man.

Before you answer, you barge in the one toilet bathroom and Harry is fully ready to hold your hair back while you vomit. But instead, is taken back when you turn around and kiss his lips hard with need. "Baby....... what, thought you were gonna be sick?" he mutters confusedly against your mouth.

You pull away, breathing heavy and respond, "I lied. I needed an excuse to have you come down here with me and fuck me. Got the notification on my fertility app saying my fertile window is open and now is the best time to try and conceive. I need you to fuck me and come inside me. Right now."

Harry tosses his head back and says, "Fuck!" rather loudly. Though he is a bit uneasy about potentially getting caught having sex on this yacht, he could never pass up the opportunity to fuck his sexy wife and give her a baby. "Well, okay then. Do you need, like, warming up first or..." He's fully ready to eat you out or finger you for a minute to get you fully aroused if you needed that.

Harry's too kind sometimes. Always thinking of your wellbeing and needs. You laugh and grab his hand to lower it to the front of your swimsuit. "No, babe. Seeing you in these tight, green swim trunks has had me wet for hours, see." His fingers come in contact with your clothed wet pussy and that has him hardening right up.

"Alright, turn around and lean over the sink f'me." Harry instructs and you do as told. This yacht's bathroom is rather small but you'll make it work. You've had sex in much smaller spaces before but those are stories for another time. Harry drops to his knees and as he goes to slide your bikini bottoms down your legs, he kisses over your ass cheeks and the back of your thighs.

"Harry, we don't have time for that, just put a baby in me. Hurry." you grumble. You're far too impatient for him to tease you right now. You just need him to fuck you.

As he stands back up and drops his green swim trunks to his ankles, Harry retorts, "Alright, stop being bratty. I'll give you what you want. Know I always do, m'love." He takes ahold of his now very hard cock and gives it a few strokes to make sure its fully erect for you. When it is, he helps spread your legs how he thinks would work best for this position and leans over your back, carefully nudging his dick in your soaked hole with the guidance of his right hand.

"Ohh, Harry!" you can't help but moan while he's pushing all the way in and that causes him to slap his left hand over your mouth to silence you.

"Love," he says from behind you're body, "gotta stay quiet. Can't risk anyone hearing us." You nod your head in understanding and bite your lip to silence yourself when you feel him bottom out. Then without warning, Harry pulls his hips back, leaving just the tip inside your cunt, before slamming forward.

The hand Harry had over your mouth has moved down to your neck. Not with the intentions to necessarily choke you, though he is applying slight pressure, but more so to help you stay upright and look at yourself in the mirror. The scene of Harry fucking you from behind has got you even more turned on than before. The way his tan skin is glistening with sweat. The way his curly hair has fallen over his forehead. The way Harry is looking right into your eyes from over your shoulders in the mirror. It's all so intense.

After a couple of minutes, Harry can feel the knot in his stomach tighten and he knows he's about to come. Your tight pussy just feels so good hugging his cock. Wanting to see if you were up there with him, he questions in heavy pants, "Are you close? M'bout to come. Just feels so - fuckin' - good, Y/N!"

You nod and squeak out, "Yeah, I'm close too, H." Knowing you may need a little bit of extra help, he takes his right hand that he had stationed on your hip for stability and reaches in front of you until he finds your clit. When he does, he begins rubbing the nerve in tight circles and that's exactly what pushes you over the edge. That and his cock rubbing against your g-spot from this angle. You nearly fall forward because as you come your legs give out and if Harry wasn't pressed up behind you, you're sure you would have collapsed onto the boats floor.

"Ah, God!!!" you gasp while waves of pleasure roll through your body. Your orgasm triggers Harry's and he shoots his load as deep as he can inside of you. His hips falter their movements and he has to bite down on your shoulder to quiet himself from the moans he's dying to let out.

Slowly, everything comes to a stop and you're both left sweaty and panting for air in this small yacht bathroom. Harry carefully removes his hand from your throat and you slowly start to lean forward over the counter top again. The movement causes you to accidently pulse around his softening cock and he curses in slight pain. "Fuckin' hell."

"Sorry, sorry." you repeat out of breath and Harry shushes you by gently responding, "It's alright. Gonna pull out now and then I'll help you up on the counter so my cum doesn't drip on the floor." You nod and Harry carefully pulls his dick out your pussy and turns you around to lift you up on the small countertop beside the sink.

Now face to face, Harry can't help but to lean forward and plant a kiss to your lips. The kiss stays soft and airy. But knowing people above is bound to become concerned with how long you've been down here, you whisper, "Love you. Thank you for coming down here with me and I hope we made a little baby. Can't wait for our family to grow."

Harry nearly cries and gets hard again at the same time with all this baby talk. "Y/N, no need to thank me. Love you so much and would do anything to give us a baby. Even if that means break away from my friends and family to fuck my wife in a yacht's bathroom in the Italian ocean."

---------------------------

Harry helped you get cleaned up and properly dressed again as well as redress himself. Then you both walk hand in hand back up to the top deck again where everyone looks at you with concern. Gemma's the first to come up to you and asks, "Feeling better, love? You can have a sickness pill if you need one? I always bring extra."

Feeling bad for everyone's genuine concern on your sea sickness but also happy you weren't actually sea sick, you decline, "Oh, no thank you. I'm feeling much better now. Your brother is a great doctor."

Everyone continues to have a great time. Laughing and enjoying the summer sun. Until Brad, Harry's friend and personal trainer comes up behind you and gasps, "Y/N, why is there a bite mark on your shoulder? Are you alright?" Your eyes go wide and Harry who heard the entire interaction goes pale in front of you. To the point he looks as though he may actually get sea sick.

"Um, um.." you stutter. Well fuck, how do you explain they're your husbands teeth marks from where he bit your shoulder to conceal his moans while coming inside of you to give you a baby.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe14  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

 // @luv-flor7777  // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown  // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar  // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone //  @goldenkhae // @lntwithharry // @shadowygladiatorlight  // @manifestrry  //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts  // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @stylesmygucci // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[emberuby]

in your arms forever — chapter three. | p.js

chapter two | series masterlist | epilogue.

pairing: park jongseong x fem reader

chapter summary: jake struggles to make sure you are okay as you fall into a state of heartbreak over your fiancé leaving you. jay’s mother is furious with him for ruining her plans and decides to take action into her own hands. 

warnings: assault, attempted murder, pregnancy, assault against a pregnant woman, mentions of abortion, drugging, implied child abuse, (very) minor character death, kidnapping, use of guns, smut (not as heavy as the last chapter), oral (fem rec), breeding kink, creampie, slightly rough sex, spanking, dom! jay, sub! reader. also, jay gets slapped twice 😭 sorry

taglist: @nshmrarki, @strxwbloody, @anittamaxwynnn, @heeheeyeoiizz01, @star4rin, @yohanabanana, @lilyuwon, @delvziion, @tinyteezer, @partiallyderived, @liebe-love, @honeybunnee, @tmtxtf, @yunjinhuhjennifer, @jaehyuniewifeu, @heelovesmeknot, @a-l-i-y-a, @littlebambi1302, @shawnyle, @taerifin

note: so sorry for the long wait 😓 i wanted to take a break from writing but now im back! this chapter is much more intense and violent than the previous ones, but the epilogue will be very sweet and fluffy (and steamy :)) ~ feedback is greatly encouraged and always feel free to ask questions ^^

wc: 14k

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Jake said sternly. One hand was pressed gently up against your back and the other was holding your hair back tightly as you spilled the contents of your stomach up into the toilet bowl. This was the second time today, and you lost count of how many times you’ve thrown up this week.

You were too preoccupied to verbally protest so you shook your head. Jake scanned your body in frustration, knowing you were going to refuse due to your depressive state and your unwillingness to step outside of the manor.

It had been a week and a half since Jay left the face of the earth. Jake was rather blindsided by all of it, not entirely in the know of why you two fell out. Almost every time he called Jay, he didn’t pick up. On the rare occasions, he did get back to Jake and all he would say was, “Keep an eye out for Y/N. I'll talk to you later.”

Jay had called off the wedding, and the day you found out it was like something within you shattered. Jake hadn’t known you for very long, but the blissful and carefree personality you used to dawn when you were with Jay was completely gone. He couldn’t count with his hands the number of times he heard you crying from your bedroom.

Jake wanted to curse at his childhood friend for leaving you so broken. Not only had you fallen into a state of distress, but your body was growing weaker. He never believed in heartbreak being able to cause sickness, but you were a prime example of such a health condition.

For the past few mornings, it was like your stomach could not handle any of the food you ate, and he was worried soon enough you would be throwing up stomach acid, which could be deeply dangerous.

Every time he urged you to let him take you to the hospital, you always told him no, and today was no different. However, he was done asking for your permission.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t take me to the hospital. I just need some water,” you began to stand up on shaky legs before Jake grabbed you by the waist to help steady you. You saw the look on his face in the mirror. He was glaring at your back, sighing loudly in frustration. 

“Water isn’t going to fix this, Y/N, you’ve been sick for days,” he said sternly. You turned around to try and protest, but he quickly stopped it by placing a finger on your lips and shutting you up, “Nope. Nu-uh, this isn’t negotiable.” 

Jay told Jake you couldn’t leave the manor under any circumstances, but surely he would make an exception to this. He knew deep inside that whatever happened between you two didn't stop the love Jay had for you, and he wouldn't want to see the love of his life sick like this.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Jay’s voice echoed through the walls of the Park manor. His mother was sitting on the living room couch, her fingers wrapped around a glass of brandy, her face showing no reaction to her son’s harsh words. 

“That’s no way to speak to your mother, sweetheart. Why don’t you come sit down?” she smiled at him, patting the cushion beside her as though she had no care in the world. 

Jay felt like he was going to burst into flames. “You told me you would leave Y/N out of this, you promised me.” 

“I did promise not to hurt her. But tell me, son, does your fiancé have a scratch on her head? Did I hit her, send my men after her, or drown her in the Styx? No? So why all the drama?” 

In all honesty, Aeri wasn’t entirely too sure why Jay ever cared so much about you. 

She remembered him asking her—pretty much begging—to not hurt you because you were the only innocent member of your family. Aeri always chalked it up to Jay having a softer heart compared to her. 

Jay always thought of himself as a monster, never being able to erase the blood on his hands that he spilt in the name of his mother. However, if Jay was a monster, Aeri was a demoness in human form. If it weren’t for Jay’s aversion, you and many other innocent people would have probably been killed by her. 

“You didn’t even tell me of your plan to poison her, I thought were supposed to be a team—”

“Poison her? Did I raise a man-child? A philtre is no poison, I just made her fall in love with you. Is that so bad? I wasn’t planning on ever laying a hand on her, I just wanted her to feel the pain in her heart of knowing someone she loved never loved her back.”

Oh, she didn’t even begin to know how wrong she was. 

“It doesn’t matter. You should’ve never begun to make those stupid fucking drinks. They made you so power-hungry I can barely recognise you. You cannot control everyone around you,” his voice was hoarse as it strained from all the yelling he’d done previously. He could feel his throat becoming dry.

Aeri looked him up and down in disappointment, sucking at her teeth and sighing quietly, “I noticed you took some yourself. The antidote I think? So I’m guessing Y/N is back to hating you and pining after that Sunghoon boy,” Aeri was holding back her anger from knowing that Jay ruined her entire plan by giving you the antidote and letting you go free, but knew she would eventually have it under control. 

Her words stung Jay in the heart, filling it with bitter poison. The love of his life was gone, at the snap of a finger. Knowing that the brief moment of bliss shared by you two was all under the control of his wretched mother made him feel sick in the stomach. What made him feel especially disgusting was that he used you while you were intoxicated.

He let his love for you make him lose track of logic, and he ended up hurting you in the process. 

Aeri took one more swig of her brandy before she said, “I hope you know, Jay, I don’t get why you’re so hurt by this. You barely know the girl.” 

Jay clenched his fist he felt his fingernails cutting into his palms, most likely leaving bright red marks on the skin. Aeri finally looked over at her son, into his darkened eyes that were swimming in turmoil. It suddenly came to her. 

“You’re in love with her,” Aeri declared, her eyes glinting in realisation. 

Jay’s eyes failed him as they immediately gave away how he was feeling. He shook his head, “No, I’m not.” It was too late however, Aeri had finally realised what this was all about. 

Aeri slammed her glass on the coffee table and began to laugh maniacally. Her eyes sparked with delight. “Oh Gods, this really didn’t work out the way I wanted it,” she placed a palm on her stomach as she continued to giggle, “How ironic. This whole time I needed you to break her heart, and yet she turned the tables on me. That little bitch.” 

Jay tried once more, knowing this was dangerous information for his mother to know, “I am not in love with her. You aren’t fucking listening to me.”

“Do not lie to me, son,” she stood up from the couch, and the fierce look in her eye almost took Jay back to when he was a little boy, when all he wanted was for his mother and father to love him back, and he never understood why they continued to hurt him. 

Jay felt pathetic as he averted his gaze from her in fear. He was scared for himself, but also for you. Now that his mother knew he was in love with you, he knew danger was coming your way.

“Are you thinking of Charlotte, sweetheart?” Aeri asked with the most obviously fake concern she could muster. Her lips curled into a smirk when Jay snapped his head at her in shock. He hadn’t heard that name in years, except for in his occasional nightmares.

“Why would you bring her up?” Jay asked his voice with a hint of betrayal. 

“You think I’m going to kill another one of your girls, and that’s why you have you’re here, isn’t it? Tail tucked between your legs, begging me to have mercy on poor little Y/N.” Aeri pouted her lips mockingly.

Jay’s mind flashed back to when he was sixteen. He had just started his first year at the St. Justinian Academy, and he had found himself falling for Charlotte Kim, a student one year his senior. 

He remembered how enamoured he was with her, and how incredible it felt to be loved back when he had never experienced it before. She was smart, witty and much more mature than he was at the time. It was what most people would have considered puppy love. 

On his eighteenth birthday, she hadn’t shown up to the gathering. When he spoke to her a week later, she broke his heart by telling him she couldn’t keep seeing him. In a snap of her fingers, the love that he nurtured and woke up every day for was gone.

While Jay was still waiting to graduate from St. Justinian, Charlotte had already gone abroad to university. He had thought a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be an issue until they slowly and slowly started to drift apart. 

It turned out that Charlotte had cheated on him with an older man at her university, and the guilt of her unfaithfulness made her begin to ignore him through the last few months of their relationship. It broke Jay to pieces, and although he was furious, all he wanted was for her to leave his life, and never come back. 

When his mother found out, however, she had different plans. Jay wouldn’t have seen it coming from a mile away, as one day he turned on the television and heard the news of a young female socialite turning up dead, her body found floating in the Styx.

His mind completely broke afterwards. Jay felt his heart get ripped out of his chest, never having expected his mother to go as far as to do something so heinous. Aeri did not even try to deny it, telling him sternly that nothing would ever hurt him without proper repercussion. 

Ever since he was eighteen, Jay had vowed to not fall in love. He had no trust in his mother after the death of Charlotte and feared that any person he got too close to would risk the same fate. That was until he met you. Three years ago, when he was just twenty-four years old, he risked your life by falling in love with you, and now he was reaping what he’d sown.

“Is that why you married her? So you could protect her from me? Oh sweet child,” Aeri placed her finger underneath Jay’s chin, pulling it downwards so he could face her. Although the Parks were known to be very tall, the son still hovered over the matriarch. “You know I love you. How can you blame me for what happened to Charlotte when she hurt my sweet boy?”

“What happened to Charlotte? Are you serious? You murdered her. She had a family, she was so young.”

“And she was out being a whore, fucking around with pathetic school boys while my brilliant son, who was far too good for her may I add, was waiting for her patiently. I don’t take that kind of betrayal lightly,” she sneered. 

“My betrayal is not for you to avenge,” he said. You should’ve been there for me, comforted me and told me I would be alright. You should’ve acted like a mother, not an executioner, he wanted to continue. 

Aeri shook her head, stubborn as ever, “One day you will become a father and you will understand.”

“You’re psychotic if you think I’d ever do something like that,” he fumed. 

“That’s rich of you to say, sweetheart. You have just as much blood on your hands as me, if not more.”

“Under your orders.”

“Oh is that so? I don’t remember ever asking you to kill Marco,” she directed. Jay felt as though he was finally cornered. His eyes darkened at the reminder of your former guard and the vile things he did to you. 

“He assaulted Y/N—,” he began shakily before he was cut off.

“Ahh, so you do know what it means to kill for those you love. I never thought I’d end up raising such a hypocrite.”

Jay’s eyes darkened. In his head, he imagined grabbing his mother by the neck and screaming at her from all the frustrations he had built up inside him through the years. 

“I don’t want to repeat myself. Do not lay a hand on her,” he said.

“She broke your heart, sweetheart. That must not go unpunished,” she said nonchalantly.

She couldn’t be fucking serious. “You were the one who controlled her! She didn’t break my heart, you did by fucking drugging her!”

He felt the heat of her palm strike him in the cheek. He hadn’t flinched, but his eyes gave away the hurt he felt. Once more, it was like he time travelled back to his adolescence. “I’ve had enough with you. Who do you think you are speaking to your mother that way? I will have that girl be hanged for all I care, she’s been a nuisance enough to me.”

“Mother—”

“Shut up. That bitch and that family are going down in flames, and I’m done playing these little games,” Aeri’s eyes were dark and oozing with anger. Her calm demeanour from earlier in the night was gone. “I thought you were better than this, Jay. You know what they did, how dare you go against me?”

“She had nothing to do with it.”

She refused to listen. “I don’t fucking care,” she turned to face the men standing in the doorway, “Guards, if you see my son trying to leave the premises, detain him immediately,” then she turned back to him, with the most terrifying look in her eyes, “If you’re smart enough, you will stay out of my way. There’s nothing more you can do to protect that little bitch.”

“Well congratulations, Miss,” the doctor called out as she walked into the waiting room with a pile of documents in her hand, “After conducting our tests, we’ve concluded that you’re four weeks pregnant.”

Jake’s eyes flew open the same way your mouth did after hearing the news. You stared down at the ground, letting the news seep into you.

Pregnant. Four weeks. You were trying to piece together the timeline as you wondered when it could’ve been that Jay got you pregnant, as it’s been around three months since you’ve been engaged to him.

Your hands began to tremble at the realisation that it didn’t really matter when or where you got pregnant given that Jay had chosen to walk out of your life. You began to worry as you realised for the past week and a half all you’d felt was misery and grief and wondered if it was harming the baby by any chance. 

“I…,” you trailed off, your mind still reeling in shock, your body not knowing how to react. All you could do was place your hands on the top of your stomach, as though to comfort the child.

“Is everything alright, Miss?” the doctor asked worriedly. He looked over at Jake who was sitting beside you and asked, “Would you happen to be the father?” 

Before you could say no, Jake confidently told the doctor, “I’m her brother. The father is currently away on a business trip but,” he looked over at you with the kindest smile he could muster up in the current state of shock he was in, “he will be elated to hear the news.”

Your eyes welled up with tears at the reminder of your situation. You were glad that Jake lied on your behalf to save you the embarrassment, but you were still filled with anguish at the thought of your ex-fiancé.

It was funny really, how in a span of just a few months you managed to be an ex-fiancé to two different men, and now you were left pregnant with one of their children. You supposed you just weren’t someone that could be kept around, instead destined to have your heart broken and be left in the cold. 

“We’ll just need to conduct a few more tests before you’re free to leave and—Oh! I think that’s your phone, sir,” the doctor pointed at Jake and he looked over at his table to see his phone vibrating. 

When he turned the phone over, it revealed to be none other than the father of your baby. You flinched when you looked over at the screen and saw who it was, and Jake looked back at you apologetically. 

“I have to take this, I’ll be right back,” he said before rushing out of the door. Speaking of the devil. 

“Jake? Hello, are you there?” he heard from the other line. Jay’s tone was urgent and rushed.

“Glad to hear back from you after you disappeared from the face of the earth for—”

“Jake! Shut the fuck up, I need you to—”

“Keep an eye out for Y/N, yes, yes. I know. You told me this a hundred times, she’s fine.”

“I’m fucking serious, Jake. Find a way to get her out of the manor and into somewhere safe, make sure nobody sees you. My mother,” Jay paused for a moment to catch his breath, “my mother is coming after her. I’m locked in here and she’s coming to kill Y/N.”

Jake’s eyes bulged out. He knew from the beginning that the Parks were having internal issues with your family for a while and that one wrong move would’ve led to either you, your sister or your father being killed, but he had not expected you to be the first one.

He clenched his phone tightly and walked towards a secluded corner of the hallway. “What the fuck, Jay? She’s not even in the manor right now—”

“She’s not home? I gave you one fucking job and it was to keep her safe in the manor, what the fuck do you mean she’s not home?” Jay’s voice was strained and rough. Jake would’ve been dead meat if Jay got his hands on him right now.

“I had to take her to the hospital,” Jake said, all too frustrated at how Jay was not listening to him. 

There was silence on the other end of the call, and all Jake could hear was heavy breathing. “W-What?” Jay’s voice cracked, “What happened? Why is she in the hospital? Why didn’t you tell me she was sick?”

“Why do you think, dumbass? You went MIA for a week and you expected me to call you instead of the doctor? And she’s not sick. She’s…,” Jake trailed off, not sure how to break it to him. 

“Jake, I am losing my fucking patience. Tell me right now what’s wrong.” 

What’s wrong with my girl? What happened to her? Was it my fault? The thoughts were rushing through Jay’s mind like a waterfall.

“She’s pregnant. Four weeks,” Jake said. Like before, the call went silent, but before Jay could cut him off, he continued, “You know, Jay, you’re so full of bullshit. I don’t care what happened between you, you shouldn’t have left her. She’s been depressed all week and she can barely function without you. Maybe if you were here, she wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Jake began to walk urgently back into your waiting room with the goal of getting you out as soon as possible. 

“She’s pregnant…with my—”

“Well, who else’s? It’s not like she ever left your fucking house.”

Jay’s breathing became shaky, but he knew he had no time to process this before he knew you were away from danger. Now that he knew you were out in public, he had no idea how much time he had left before his mother found you. 

A sick part of him hoped that your sadness was proof that you had true feelings for him, but then he began to wonder if perhaps the antidote did not work properly, or maybe you were depressed over something completely unrelated to him. As much as he wanted you to truly love him, his mother’s actions checked his reality, making him realise that someone as pure as you would never and should never love someone monstrous like him.

“Jake, have you found her?” Jay urged.

“Jay…She’s not here. Neither is the doctor. Fuck. I…,” Jake replied back urgently, now rushing round the hallway trying to find any traces of where you could have gone. He noticed your doctor walking towards the room and ran up to him to ask where on earth you went. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sim, I’m not sure where she went. I told her to stay in the room while I went to go get paperwork,” he looked at the younger man worriedly. “I’m sure she’s okay, probably just in the restroom.”

Jake could hear loud yelling coming from his phone, but he had to ignore it as he turned back and kept looking around in the hallway. 

He prayed that the doctor was right, but he knew deep inside that you had probably already been taken discretely. He cursed under his breath, knowing he’d fucked up and now you were probably in the hands of Aeri.

“Jay…”

“Tell me, Jake. Tell me you found her.”

“She’s gone.”

You felt it before you even opened your eyes. The burning pain and the liquid fire running through your veins. Your mouth felt as dry as the Sahara. When you did manage to open your heavy eyes, the world was like a blur. You couldn’t move a single muscle without your body screaming at you in agony. 

You groaned as you felt the light of the bulb pool into your vision, so bright you felt like you were being blinded.

“Good evening, you pretty thing,” you heard a mature female voice speak. It sounded familiar for a moment. You wondered for a minute who it could have been until your eyes finally managed to focus on the figure standing in front of you.

Then you saw her. Park Aeri, the CEO of Aphrodite Corporation, and your former mother-in-law. She was standing as tall and beautiful as ever, her long black hair with not a single strand out of place. She looked gorgeous even in the dim lighting of this seemingly abandoned storage garage. 

What on earth were you doing here? You tried to remember what happened last before you fell asleep but it was mostly a blur. You remember a nurse coming into your room when the doctor left to go handle some business, and she urged you to come to another area for more testing.

You remembered the nurse telling you she would give you a shot, which was a common procedure for those in the early stages of their pregnancy. The last thing you could recall was the needle going into your skin, and then passing out a few moments later. 

You realised then and there, you’ve been taken. The nurse must have been in the pocket of Aeri and ordered to intoxicate you and now here you were, in a dark cell with the woman of your nightmares in your company.

“W-What? Why am I here?” you asked, reaching forward to stand up from your seat before you felt yourself be pulled back by the tight ropes wrapped around your chest. You looked down on the cold, hard concrete ground, and although you couldn’t see it, you could feel something thin and made of metal pressing against your back.

You were wrapped against a metal pole, bound and unable to move. You sent a menacing glare towards Aeri, not that she was at all intimidated by it.

“That necklace of yours,” Aeri said sweetly, “It’s gorgeous. I believe my son took it from our family archives to give to you.” She began walking up slowly towards you, her heels clacking on the floor. You came face to face with her knee, and then she finally leaned down to face you, her eyes filled with venom and hunger for revenge. “It’s too bad it’s wrapped around such a worthless neck.”

You felt like you were spat on.

Aeri reached over to grab the pendant of the necklace, a bright ruby that glimmered with the slight bit of illumination of the central lightbulb. She stared at it intently before pulling you by the neck, causing the necklace to rip off of you and be destroyed. 

The skin on the back of your neck was stinging, and there were tears that were welling inside your eyes. She already took Jay away from you and now she had to take the last bit of him you still had left with you. 

You’ve taken off your engagement ring already, right after you found out that Jay called off the wedding. You remembered that night when your mind was reeling with a mixture of devastation and anger. A growing part of you was absolutely furious at Jay for leaving you in this state, and for not trusting you to love him.

As much as you still loved him, you couldn’t believe he would let his insecurities and the manipulation of his mother lead him to not even try to listen to you. Now you were left all alone, and you and your child were probably not going to make it out of this garage alive. 

“How long have I been here?” you finally managed to ask.

“Day and a half. Elena gave you a higher dosage than I expected. I was planning on killing you right when I first got my hands on you, but then I came across an obstacle,” she chuckled. “You little whore got yourself knocked up. That’s where things became tricky.”

You were surprised that a woman known for such vileness and ruthlessness hesitated in killing someone because they were pregnant, although you seriously doubted that it was out of moral consciousness. 

No, the only reason Aeri was worried was because her grandchild and her possible heir was growing in your womb. She was calculating the possibilities of what she could do. 

If Jay were to find out his own child was killed by his mother, she knew it would break him beyond repair. She harboured no fear of her son, but she was afraid of him leaving her. She could always argue that the murder of you and Charlotte was out of necessity, to protect his sensitive heart, but she had no excuse for this.   

“I suppose you plan on keeping it?” Aeri asked.

“I never said anything about that,” you murmured. A part of you was not sure if you were ready for pregnancy now that you were all alone and broken. Your future did not look promising, and you didn’t wish to raise a child in those circumstances.

It was a stark contrast to how you felt just a few weeks prior when the thought of raising a family with Jay sounded magical, but now that he walked out on your life, your heart was filled with a sense of dread. 

Aeri smirked. If you did abort the child, it would make this all the more simple. She may have been vile, but even she wouldn’t force a mother to choose, but the thought of you getting rid of your child was enticing given how much less complicated this all would be. 

She could kill you on the spot, and it would all be forgiven. 

“Does it make you happy? The thought of me losing my child and murdering me? I’m sure someone like you gets off on shit like that,” you said, eyes barely holding themselves open from the weakness of your body. 

“Watch your tone with me, bitch. I don’t wish a miscarriage for you, but you are getting on my nerves. If it weren’t for that baby inside you, you wouldn’t be living to be in my presence, so count yourself lucky,” Aeri’s confidence was staggering and making you roll your eyes.

“I can’t say I agree. I believe I must have pissed off the Gods for me to be in your wretched—,” You couldn’t finish your words before you heard the sound of a gunshot ringing in your ear.

In Aeri’s hand was a small shotgun pointed at you, and you looked over to see the bullet graze the ground just a few feet away from you. The speed at which your heart began to palpitate made it feel like it was knocking on your chest. 

“One more remark from you and it will be your leg next time, do you understand?”

You continued to test her, “you said you weren’t going to hurt my baby.”

“Is your baby growing in your legs? I’ll just shoot you and have my nurses stitch you up afterwards. All the better for me, your baby will be safe but you’ll be in excruciating pain—”

“Mrs. Park, I suggest you don’t do that. Even a minor loss of blood can cause the miscarriage of the baby,” you heard a female voice coming from behind you. You recognised it to be the nurse that drugged you and took you to Aeri. Fucking cunt.

“I see,” Aeri said all too unapologetically. She threw the gun on the floor and smiled at you, her signature manipulation tactic. “Apologies for my rashness.”

“Why do you want to kill me so much? If I die, you won’t have anything to hold against my father.”

“You think I give a shit about that anymore? I noticed you took my blackmail files. Stupid decision, because I don’t give a shit about them anymore. The endgame is here, Y/N. Your family is going down one by one, whether you like it or not. I’m done with threats and blackmail and all these other petty games. Your family’s blood will be on my hand.” She said it so calmly, in an almost unnerving way.

“You never even explained why you wanted to take revenge on my family so badly. What on earth could my father have done? And my sister, I mean she’s barely ever met you and now she has a hit on her head from a psychotic bitch. I want to understand.” 

Aeri was throwing daggers at you with her eyes, not at all too happy with you referring to her as psychotic, but she had to hold back now that she knew she couldn’t spill any of your blood. 

Aeri sighed, thinking she might as well tell you now that she’s determined to kill you. 

“Do you remember your mother at all?”

What an odd question, you thought. “Not really,” you said. You were only a few years old when your mother passed away, but Karina was old enough to have remembered it all, still traumatised from her early death. Your father and sister have mostly shielded you away from finding out how she was killed, and to this day the topic was too sensitive for them to have said much about it. 

“Your father was too guilty to explain anything to you, I’m guessing,” Aeri said.

Too guilty? Surely she didn’t mean…

She continued, “Your mother died under his watch.” You were left frozen in shock and dispelled. You didn’t believe her. You couldn’t believe her. 

"When he began to get involved with Olympus’ underworld, he knew it was dangerous for you all. He had debts and ties to some of the most dangerous families in this world. I told her and I told him that he was putting you all in danger by being so stupid, and yet he did it anyway. If he hadn’t gotten involved, your mother would be alive today.” Aeri raised her hand to begin wiping away tiny tears that were beginning to spill from her eyes, “That bastard killed the person I loved the most. She was my best friend and my soulmate.”

Fucking hell. 

It all came crashing on you like a river. Your jaw fell as everything began to piece itself together.

You tried to keep your composure steady, even if you began to feel your heartache at the mention of your late mother. “Who killed her?”

“A hitman for the Lee family,” she replied. The Lees were one of the five major crime families in Olympus. 

It all came crashing on you like a river. You began piecing everything together at a breakneck speed. 

Your father never talked about your mother because he felt responsible for her death, and the reason Karina got involved with Lee Heeseung was because his family killed your mother. 

You always thought Karina slipped in her judgement by being in a relationship with a criminal, but this whole time she was just trying to get answers and revenge. 

It’s why your father threatened to kill Heeseung, terrified at the thought of a Lee causing harm to another one of his family members.

This entire family war was started because of Aeri’s grief for her friend, and although a part of you felt sympathy for her, you knew she didn’t deserve an ounce of it after threatening to kill your family.

Your thoughts were like a completed puzzle, and your mind was struggling to process all of it. 

“Killing me isn’t going to bring her back. Trust me, if it did I would’ve completed the job myself,” you spat out.

“Killing you would remove the constant reminder of my loss. I want your father to pay for what he did. A swift death is not what that bastard deserves; I’ll make him suffer and witness the death of his only two children before I kill him with my bare hands.”

“You will never be able to get over your loss. I know you think killing me and setting fire to the world will avenge her death, but you will never stop grieving,” you tried to reason with her.

Through the tears welling up in her eyes, you could see Aeri’s dark fury, “I don’t need a therapy lesson from you, bitch. I will—”

There was a loud banging noise coming from behind you and you could hear the nurse behind you cry in fear. You clenched your eyes shut as you heard the sound of steel and metal hitting the concrete floor, and you could smell the dust enveloping the room.

You heard loud yelling from a group of men, one of which you recognised. Your heart fell as you could hear the voice of Jay behind you say, “Disarm her of any weapons and cuff her. Don’t let her get away.”

You looked up to see Aeri’s eyes darkened with fury, her fists clenched as she tried to move away from the men who were now surrounding her. They were swift, however, binding her with silver cuffs and looking through her pockets to find two knives. 

You felt a gentle hand touch your arm and looked over to see Jake carefully cutting open the ropes you were surrounded by.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jay? I told you not to get in my way,” Aeri growled, frustrated at the feeling of her hands behind her back. 

Jay ignored her. His mind was reeling with disappointment and anger at her, his brain not even processing his mother’s words. The sight of you tied up, bruised and beaten while his mother watched maniacally was going to haunt all of his future nightmares. 

“You’re going to prison, Aeri,” Jay murmured, his voice sounding foreign to his ears. He could not handle the level of anger and agony that was flooding his veins. 

Aeri threw her head back as she began to laugh, “You can’t be serious Jay. You choose this bitch over me, the mother that you love? We’re family Jay.”

“You’ve stopped being my mother the moment you made me your executioner,” he sneered. His whole life he’s been seeking the true love and validation of his mother, and he realised that was his biggest mistake in his life. “I’ve stopped loving you a long time ago, Aeri. I only regret acting so late, and now you could’ve almost killed the love of my life.”

Your heart ached at his words. Jake finally managed to free you from your hold and gently picked you up by your waist to begin walking outside the garage. Your hand reached out behind him, yearning to touch Jay, but he was too far away. You could only see his back, but you could tell from his posture the inner turmoil within him. 

“Jake, thank you for finding me,” you whispered into his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. I think Jay would’ve killed me if I didn’t manage to find you. Sorry for not keeping an eye on you, I guess some of this is my fault—”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and began rubbing his back gently, “Don’t say that, I don’t blame you. I haven’t known you for long, Jake, but thank you for being my friend.” You whispered, “Thank you.”

You knew it was only his job, but you felt yourself grow a tender relationship with Jake during the last few weeks. He was kind, and gentle and took care of you while Jay was gone. 

Jay…

I love you, Jay.

“Where is Jay?” you asked breathily, your mind becoming hazy. You felt your consciousness slowly begin to slip away.

“Jay is nearby, he’ll be here soon. He just has something to deal with,” Jake could tell your mind was trying to repel this traumatic experience.

“I love him, Jake.”

“I know that.”

“I love him so much, I can’t lose him. I can’t die, Jake.”

Jake placed a hand on your head and gently placed you in the back seat of one of his cars. When making their plan, Jay wanted to be the one to deal with his mother, so he asked Jake to be the one to take you away as soon as he could.

“I’m not going to let you die. I have to take you away, Y/N.”

I love you, Jay. 

“No! I can’t leave without Jay. I can’t handle one more moment without him, please let me see him,” you began to stand up on your seat, but fell back down as your body was too weak to carry yourself. 

Jake looked at you sympathetically but shook his head. He closed the door stepped into the passenger seat, and drove away into the night. “I need to take you to the emergency room, Y/N.” He was going to make sure to stay beside you the entire time now, as he couldn’t bring himself to trust anyone anymore. 

“Jay? Where is Jay?” 

Jake sighed at your state; you were completely out of it and on the brink of losing consciousness. “Y/N, when was the last time you ate or drank water?”

You whispered, “I don’t know…I woke up just now. My mouth feels dry…so dry.”

“Fuck,” Jake muttered under his breath as he pressed harder on the gas and rushed his way faster towards the hospital. If you had only just woken up, that would mean you hadn’t been fed in over two days. 

Jake was not a religious man, but he began praying to the Gods that you were going to be alright.

You could hear the sound of constant beeping, and your hand was being cradled by rough and calloused hands. 

Then you heard the noise of a door slamming open before a frantic voice said, “Doctor, is she okay? Is the baby fine? Will she be alright, is she hurt? When will she wake up? Please—”

“Mr. Park, I can’t tell you anything if you don’t let me speak, so please be quiet,” you heard an older female voice say. 

Then the voice beside you—Jake you presumed—said, “Sit down, Jay.”

You heard the sound of steps shuffling as Jay walked up beside you. He sighed as he looked at your state, needles sticking inside your arms, your body covered in a blue garment, your skin devoid of any warmth. His heart cracked at the sight.

“She’s suffered some head trauma, and she was dangerously dehydrated. She’s definitely been roughed up, but she’s in the process of recovery. She’ll have to stay here for a while so we can monitor and heal her, but she’s already improving.” You could hear Jay’s breathing quicken. “The baby is also safe, I can assure you.”

“So how long does she have to stay?” Jay asked, voice slightly shaky.

“I can’t give you an exact time. It could be a few days to a week, we’re not entirely sure. Because she’s pregnant, we have to be especially careful with her, and we want to make sure she leaves the hospital as healthy as possible.”

Jay took hold of your other hand. You missed the feeling, of his warm and soft skin laying on yours, and if you could bring yourself to move yourself, you would. You desperately wanted to lace your fingers through his.

Gods, you missed him. 

You hummed, finally beginning to gain the ability to control your body. Nobody heard you, but you were elated and began trying to move more. 

You ever so slowly blinked your eyes open, noting that everyone was too intensely staring at each other to notice you. Finally, you lifted your fingers to press them against Jay’s and you heard him gasp loudly. 

“She’s awake,” Jay announced, leaning down to face you, his eyes filled with love and worry. 

You saw the doctor walk up to you with a clipboard in her hands. “How are you feeling, Miss?”

You tried to move your head but winced at the soreness of your neck. “I-I’m alright. A bit sore, and I have a headache.” 

“That’s expected and normal. You can rest, Y/N, we’ll be taking care of you from now on.”

You nodded, smiling at the doctor and gratitude. You grasped Jay’s hands and looked over at him. He looked like a mess, a rare sight. His eyes were bloodshot red, his clothes were dirty and his hair was ruffled. You knew from his hair alone how stressed he must have been, as he always ran his hands through his hair when he was worried. Even then, he looked so beautiful. 

“Could we have a moment alone?” you asked the room. The doctor and Jake swiftly left the room to give you and Jay space. 

The room was silent for a moment, with only the sounds of your heart monitor breaking the stillness. You two just kept looking at each other, taking it all in. He was finally back. He was in front of you. He wasn’t gone. 

“Did you miss me, Jay?” You weren’t sure why one earth that was the first thing you decided to say to him. It was stupid, but you wanted to confirm he still had love for you after everything. You noticed a lone tear trail down Jay’s face. You weren’t sure if he was even able to process your words. “You shouldn’t have left me, Jay.”

He knew that well enough after getting multiple scoldings from Jake about the state he left you in. 

“I was trying to set you free,” Jay said unsurely. 

“That’s bullshit,” you sneered. Your fury was a forest fire that slowly began expanding as you began to think of how easily Jay left you behind. “I know you think your mother was forcing me to love you, but Gods couldn’t you just have heard me out? You could barely look at me before you told me to fuck off from your life. I wanted to grow a family with you, Jay. I loved you and I love you still. That potion your mother fed me did nothing except get me drunk.”

He looked down in shame. “And what if the antidote didn’t work? What if you still need time to get over the effects, what if—”

“Are you serious?!” your eyebrows furrowed as you glared in astonishment, “I am telling you here how much I love you and you’re still thinking this. I mean, is it really so hard to think I could love you?”

“Yes.”

Your heart dropped and you began to feel your eyes brimming with tears. What was it going to take for him to understand? You began to stand up from the bed before Jay quickly leaned down and gently pushed you back.

“Don’t exert yourself, please.”

You ignored him, swatting away his hands and going up into a sitting position. You cupped Jay’s face and brought his forehead to yours. You could feel his breathing fanning your chest, and it broke your heart to see his tearful and pink-tinted eyes. “I don’t know if I can live without you, Jay. When you left, it felt like one-half of me was ripped away from my body.”

“I shouldn’t have left you. If only I had known…,” he placed a hand over yours. The look in your eyes was filled with love, even after all the things he had done to you. As much as he wanted to believe you, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he kept you away from your family, let his mother control your relationship and then left you while you were pregnant. 

“Are you going to leave again?” your voice cracked as you asked, fearing the worst. 

“I’ll be wherever you want me to be.”

“I want you with me. I want you to come home, baby.”

You placed a thumb on his cheek to brush away his tears, and he leaned in to press a gentle kiss on your lips. The feeling of his skin on yours was missed by you dearly. He held your head as though it were porcelain and could break at any moment. He slowly trailed his hands down to your neck and then eventually the small of your back. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you began pulling him against you as hard as you could, wanting to feel every part of his body on yours. You were becoming desperate, and it was hard to continue breathing. 

He groaned into your mouth as you began running your fingers through his thick hair, pulling it gently to elicit his beautiful noises. He was always sensitive to his scalp. 

Your moment of passion was cut off by the sound of a cough. You both snapped your heads to the door to see Jake looking amused, his eyes glinting with satisfaction at you two getting back together. He felt disappointed as he had to put an end to your tender moment as he said, “Jay, you need to go—”

Jay stood up from his chair. “Yes, yeah. I’ll be right there,” he said breathlessly. He looked down at you apologetically and took hold of your hand to press a kiss against your knuckle, “I’m sorry love, I’ll be right back. I have some unfinished business left to deal with. Wait for me.” 

Before you could even respond, he was out the door in a rush. Gone, ever so quickly. 

“Where did he go? Is everything okay?” you asked Jake. 

“Do you not remember why you’re here?” 

Then it clicked in your head. Jay went to see his mother, to try and deal with her. Jake sat down on the chair that Jay was previously occupying. He was glad to see you were seemingly doing a lot better. 

“Jake, what is going to happen to Aeri? Is she okay?” you asked.

“You’re asking if the woman that tried to kill you is okay? Is your head still intact?” Jake furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. 

You sighed, knowing it was absurd. For the most part, you did wish the worst for her after the things she put you and Jay through, but there was a small part of you that felt sympathy. 

She burned the world down with her bare hands and almost destroyed your entire family, but knowing it was for the love of your mother made your heart ache for her. 

Aeri gained her reputation for violence and corruption around twenty years ago as far as you were aware, which lined up with the time of your mother’s passing. You began to wonder what their relationship was like, and if Aeri was a different person before her best friend’s death. Perhaps she was loving, caring and kind.

“You’re right. I’m being ridiculous. It’s just that…,” you trailed off. 

“You’re too forgiving, Y/N. That woman will burn for the things she did to you and I’ll make sure of it.”

“I never said I forgive her,” you sighed. “Is she going to get arrested?”

“She will. Jay is in the process of making sure you get the justice you deserve. It will be hard to make sure she gets a deserving sentence because of her power and her relationships with politicians, but we are sitting on a pile of evidence of her crimes.” Jake had hoped that wretched woman got the death sentence but decided to keep that to himself so as not to startle your sensitive heart. 

“How did you guys manage to do it?”

“I won’t bore you with the details. To keep it short, we hired a hacker who managed to find hundreds of incriminating messages and emails on Aeri’s private computer. While you were in the storage garage with her, he managed to get this little microphone chip under the cracks of the door and it captured her admission. The tape has got everything: her confession of wanting to kill you, her motive, and all the conversations she had with her nurse before you woke up. She’s dead meat, I can assure you that.” 

You nodded, satisfied with the answer. 

“I wonder how Jay feels about it,” you said quietly. “I know he felt betrayed, but that’s his mother. When I was with him, sometimes it felt like the love he had for her was breaking him.”

“Then that’s no love at all,” Jake took your hand in his gently, palming it gently. His hands were so rough compared to Jay’s gentle and soft ones.

During the time you spent with Jay, you hadn’t known if the feelings he harboured for his mother were deep fear or love and devotion. Sometimes it felt like a mixture of all, so your mind couldn’t help but break for him knowing what he had to do now. 

After all the things he had done for his mother, none of it ever mattered now that he was the one responsible for her punishment. Jay went from being her executioner to the one that had to execute her, and you knew it would fuck him up in the head. 

You wish none of this was real, and that it was all a bad dream. You just wanted to go back to the days you were safe and alone with Jay out on the outskirts of Olympus. 

The lights in your room were dimmed, and the window to the outside showed a pitch-black sky with a few twinkling stars adorning it. You had been tended to well by all the nurses, and your pain had begun to subdue. 

You were alone until you heard the door slowly creak as Jay entered the room. He tried to be as quiet as possible, thinking you may have been asleep already. When he saw that you were still awake, he smiled at you warmly. 

You wanted to ask him how it went, but you could tell he was stressed behind his happy demeanour. As long as that woman never laid a hand on you and your family again, you felt secure. 

“Did I disturb your sleep, my love?” he asked, placing a kiss between your brows. His skin felt so hot. 

“I’m pretty tired but I didn’t want to sleep until I got a chance to see you.”

It made him feel guilty that you stayed up past your exhaustion just to wait for him. He sat beside you and eyed you up and down. Your chest heaved slowly up and down, your body in a state of tranquillity. 

He gently placed a hand on your stomach and began rubbing it. There wasn’t much of a bump yet, if any, but it made him shudder to think you two were going to be a family by next year. 

“How do you feel?” he asked, his eyes glinting with concern.

“About the baby?” When he nodded, you continued, “You know I had a dream about this. I saw you in a field, with two little kids running around. They looked just like you.”

“Yeah?”

“I loved it. The older one was a girl, with long black hair. There was a little boy as well, barely two or three, Gods he was adorable. A carbon copy of you might I add,” you sighed in bliss at the thought of your future family. “I know we’re both young, and maybe the circumstances aren’t great, but I love you and I want to grow a child with you.”

Jay tried to imagine what you were thinking of, and it made his heart ache to think of your children when they grew up. You two frequently talked about starting a family back when you were under the spell of the philtre, so he needed the utmost confirmation that you truly wanted this. He needed to know you wanted a child and wanted him to raise them with you. 

“I love you, Y/N. I'll do anything for you and our family.”

You sighed in relief, feeling like you two were both on the same page.

Your mind went back to your last interaction with him before he left, where you were tangled in a passionate and desperate kiss. You missed each other so dearly, it was like a clash of love and yearning. Surely, if Jake hadn’t interrupted you, you would have pounced on him and made up for all the lost time. 

“I missed you, baby,” you said. You reached your arm out, motioning him to lay beside you on the bed. The patient's bed was not particularly spacious, but you moved over to give him enough room to lay beside you. You needed him as close to you as possible. 

Jay shook his head, failing to conceal his smirk. He was always so in tune with your feelings and body language and could tell you wanted him to take you. “You need to rest, my love.”

“I need you inside me,” you said breathily, looking at him with sultry eyes. Your lips were pouted and 

Jay clenched his fist, knowing you were using your power over him to your advantage. He

“You are injured, and you just went through something traumatic. The last—”

“Then I need something to make it all better,” you grinned at him. You always loved acting like you didn’t know the effect you had on the man, as though you didn’t realise the deeper meaning behind your words. 

Jay stood up from his chair to go stand in front of you. “I don’t like when my wife acts like a brat. I should probably punish you, but given the circumstances, I’ll let you have a free pass.” He slid off the blanket that was covering your lower body. “Just understand this; I’m in control.”

You nodded submissively, eyes twinkling in anticipation. “Sorry, this hospital gown isn’t the sexiest thing to get us going.”

Jay smiled to himself. “My love, you could be wearing a hazmat suit and you would still give me a hard-on.”

You placed your palm over your face as you felt it heat up. Gods, he always made you so nervous. 

He slid up your gown to your waist, and you clenched your thighs as you could feel the cool air hitting your core. He wasn’t having any of it as he spread your legs by the knees, jaw falling at the sight of your already glistening pussy. 

“Fuck. You don’t understand how much I’m holding myself back,” Jay said. If it weren’t for your injuries, he would’ve been drilling you into the mattress by now, thrusting his cock deep inside you. He usually wasn’t gentle with you after you both realised how much you loved rough sex. However, today it had to be different, no matter how much you protested. He had to be as careful as possible.

“You don’t have to hold back,” you whimpered, already feeling desperate for his touch. 

“You don’t get to make the rules today, my love,” he replied back, leaning down to face your cunt. You shivered as you felt him blow air onto your pussy, the feeling of it already giving you pleasurable stimulation. “Make sure to keep quiet. We don’t want to alert the entire hospital you’re getting fucked, now do we?”

You shook your head, “No, sir. I’ll be quiet. Please touch me.”

You didn’t have to say anything more as Jay plunged his tongue into your pussy. You had to bite the back of your hand to stifle your moans, your mind already going haywire at the feeling of his mouth latched around you. 

He began licking your cavern. The feeling of his wet tongue exploring you was going to make you cum as quickly as a university freshman losing their virginity. Your pre-orgasm tingles were already travelling up your spine, and by the Gods, it was embarrassing. 

“F-Feels so good, s-sir. G-Gonna cum!” you moaned. 

Although you couldn’t see him as your eyes were shut from the tsunami of pleasure, you could feel Jay smirk into your pussy. He continued to play with your clit as he said, “Already? It’s barely been a few minutes. Let me have a little fun.” 

Now, your neck and ears began to heat up from the embarrassment. You nodded meekly, “‘M sorry! I j-just can…can’t take it.” 

He sighed mockingly, “Look at you. Two weeks without my cock and now you can barely function. I’ll have to break you in once more.”

You made the mistake of not having your mouth occupied, as a moan crushed out of you, surely loud enough for whoever was in the hallway to hear. You prayed that the wing was relatively empty and that nobody was in your earshot. 

You yelped as you felt Jay strike the side of your thigh, but thankfully this time you managed to muffle it with your palm. 

“I told you to be quiet, my love. Should’ve brought a ball gag if I knew you would be this loud.” Jay could feel your cunt clench around his fingers, noting how turned on you were at the thought. “You’d like that, huh? Should I go out and buy us some toys?”

You thought about it before, but you two hadn’t usually involved sex toys in your intimate life. The only times were when Jay would stick a remote control vibrator inside you before you would go out, teasing you the entire day until making you cum at the most embarrassing and inconvenient places. 

Jay went back down to continue what he was before. The feeling of his two fingers stretching your insides out, mixed with the feeling of his tongue playing with your sensitive bud was making it hard for you to breathe. Any second now you were going to orgasm all over him.

You mewled and writhed as you felt yourself fall over the edge, your arousal coating his tongue as he continued to lick you to prolong your orgasm. He loved to see you like this; so full of pleasure your body couldn’t even contain it. 

Your breathing was heavy, and Jay stood up to admire his work. There was never a moment where you weren’t beautiful, but your body in its post-orgasm state was practically divine.

He intertwined your fingers with his and placed a kiss on your cheek. You looked over at him pleadingly, then placed your hand on his tightened crotch. He hissed at the feeling of your palm causing friction to his hard-on and swiftly moved your hand away. 

You whined in frustration, “I want to make you feel good too.”

“And I need you to rest. Go to sleep, my love. I’ll go bring you tea.”

“But—”

He pinched your chin and tipped it up towards his face, “I’ll promise you this, Y/N, the day that I know you’re okay and your body can handle it, I will fuck you the way you deserve to be.” He wasn’t going to let you leave the bed when he got his hands on you properly. 

You swallowed hard and nodded defeatedly. 

It had been less than a week since you’d been admitted to the hospital, and now you were free to go home. Although you assured Jay that you were fine to do things on your own, you were currently being carried around the manor to your old bedroom.

You couldn’t help but be amused by how worried he was for you. He practically spoon-fed you the hospital food during your stay, and you wondered if that would stop now that you were here. 

He gently placed you on the mattress and pressed a kiss to your temple. 

“I missed this place,” you whispered.

Jay smiled. He never particularly felt homely in his manor. It was given to him by his mother when he turned twenty, but it felt more like a place to get away from the stress of Olympus rather than a true sanctuary. That was until you came into his life. Wherever you left your presence was a home to him. 

He sat on the edge of the bed to place his palm on your stomach, checking for the bump. He’d made a consistent habit of that ever since he found out you were pregnant. He convinced himself that he could feel a slight raise to your belly, but in reality, a bump wouldn’t be formed for a few weeks. 

Lifting your shirt to your breasts, he leaned down to press a kiss to your stomach. His hair made your skin tickle and you began giggling. “You’re so odd, Jay.”

“I just want to kiss my babies,” he said jokingly. 

You knew in your head that once the baby was born, Jay would not be able to leave them alone. Your baby would probably get annoyed by how much he kissed them all over the face. You fawned over the thought. 

Then you remembered what you had failed to ask him last week. “What is going to happen to Aeri?”

Jay flinched at the sound of his mother’s name and his eyes darkened. He sat up and looked at you intently. “She’s in a holding cell as of now, given the severity of her crimes. The court date is in a couple of months, and until then she can’t leave.”

“Jake said that it’ll be hard to charge her with anything,” you said.

“That’s true. She has relationships with a ton of powerful people in Olympus, including those in law enforcement. Her corruption runs deep, but thankfully we have someone on our side as well,” Jay smiled unsurely.

“Who?”

“The mayor. My mother has never been in his good graces, but especially now, after what Jake showed him, he promised he would not let her get away with this. Besides, we have proof she’s been performing alchemy, and if the court accepts it, we’re talking a minimum of thirty years to life.”

Your breathing hitched. There it was then, your biggest threat was now gone. Your family would be safe, and so would you and Jay. You didn’t even know how to feel about it. 

You placed your hand on his forearm and looked up at him lovingly. You wanted to thank him for saving you and the city from her, but you knew he was still in the process of forgiving himself for letting her crimes go on for so long. 

You pulled him into an embrace, and he placed his head into your neck. Right as you felt him rest comfortably on you, you flipped yourself over and startled his hips. You were now sitting on top of him, your pelvis flushing against his, and a smirk plastered on your lips. 

“You look so beautiful underneath me,” you said. 

“Watch yourself, my love,” he replied through gritted teeth. His hands trailed up to your hips and he gripped them with intensity. You began grinding your cunt against his crotch slowly, looking at him with the eyes you always used to get what you wanted. It almost always worked, but now that Jay was paranoid about you getting hurt, he was ever so careful with you.

During the nights you spent at the hospital, you begged him to take you. He always said he’d wait until you were ready, and instead spent his hours with his face between your leg, sucking on your cunt until you saw stars.

As much as it felt nice, you wanted more. You wanted rough and passionate sex where he left love bites and slap marks all over your body. You wanted to get on your knees and worship his cock as a thank-you for all that he has done for you. You felt your panties dampen at the thought, and you continued pressing yourself against him.

“You promised me you’d fuck me,” you whispered.

“When I knew you were better. The doctor said you still need to be on bed rest for a few days. That means you’re still healing,” he said demandingly. The grip on your hips was tightening. 

“If you loved me you’d let me ride you.”

He chuckled, “Now you’re just being immature.”

“Is it working?” you grinned, sliding his shirt above his head and palming his abdomen. It felt so warm and rough under your palm. Sometimes you imagined what it would feel like to ride his abs, your clit rubbing against his ridges. 

You yelped as you felt his hand strike you in the ass. “How many times do I have to tell you, my love? You don’t make the rules in this relationship. I’ll fuck you when and where I want.”

“Is that so? ‘Cause ever since I met you, you act like my bitch.”

That seemed to snap something inside him as he swiftly flipped you over on your back. You whined at the loss of control. 

“I get what you’re trying to do, Y/N. You want me to punish you, but if I gave you what you wanted that wouldn’t be a punishment at all, would it?” He began taking off your lounge pants and panties. “You fucking whore, look at how wet you got already.”

He slapped the side of your ass one more, making your thighs clench at the mix of pain and pleasure. He continued, “Is that what you want? Do you want me to slap around my pregnant wife? Fuck you until your mind can barely function and the only word that you can still pronounce is my name?”

You moaned as you felt him begin to play with your clit, “Yes, sir. P-Please, do whatever you want with me. I won’t b-break.” 

“By the time I’m done with you, you will break.” You drooled at how enticing that sounded. You knew how nervous Jay was to go rough with you, but you’ve been so sexually frustrated you were becoming desperate, and you would press all his buttons if it meant he would let himself go.

Now, both of you were rid of your clothes. You placed your arms around your stomach, feeling vulnerable at the feeling of nakedness, but soon enough they were pinned above your head on the mattress. “Don’t act shy now, you were just begging to ride on my cock.”

Your face heated up at the reminder, and you looked at him desperately. Without warning, you felt his tip begin to spread open your folds. It had been so long since you’d felt his cock inside you, that it felt like electricity was running up your spine. 

He began rocking his hips into you. “S-So big,” you mewled. You knew all too well how massive Jay was, but now that he hadn’t fucked you in a few weeks, you felt a burn inside your cunt at the feeling of him stretching you open.

“You missed my cock, yeah? It’s been so long you can barely take me now,” he said in your ear. 

Your legs were wrapped around his waist, and you felt yourself whine as he let go of your hands and sat up, thinking he was going to stop. He sucked his teeth, shaking his head in disappointment at your desperate state. “Be quiet before I make you,” he warned. 

He raised your legs to now be resting on his shoulders and leaned back down to keep plummeting his cock inside you. You were shocked at this new position where you were practically folded over. You could feel his cock so much deeper inside you, and it was practically mind-numbing. 

“I feel y-you so deep in-inside,” you mewled. Gods, you missed the feeling of his cock inside you. You felt so empty without him in your life, both literally and figuratively. 

“Your cunt feels like paradise,” he moaned.

The sounds of his groans in your ear were like the sounds of muses singing. He usually didn’t make a ton of noise while you two had sex, instead staying stoic and focused, but the time away from you seemed to have affected him similarly as it did to you. He felt as though he couldn’t last much longer inside you. 

Your walls clamped around his cock as you felt his tip kiss your cervix. No wonder you got pregnant so quickly when he fucked you like this. It was a surprise he hadn’t gotten you knocked up earlier. 

Jay hadn’t even been able to properly process the fact that his love and devotion to you led to you now bearing his child in your womb. The idea of starting a happy and loving family with you not only filled his heart with warmth but also sent blood rushing to his cock. If you asked, he’d give you however many children that you wanted.

“I love you,” you said shakily, still trembling from his rough thrusts inside your hole. Your body was becoming sore from the position it was in, and you could feel your orgasm coming closer. You wrapped your arms around his back, your nails leaving crescents and scratch marks on his bare back.

Jay placed a kiss on your temple, not seeming phased but the abuse on his back, and whispered, “I love you more.”

You supposed what you two were doing was too rough and intense to be considered making love, but you wanted to take the chance to remind him how much your heart soared for him. 

Your cunt tightened roughly around him as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Your jaw fell and your eyes rolled back at the intensity. 

Shortly after, he spilt himself inside you, coating your walls with his arousal. He pressed his forehead to yours gently, “So good for me, my love.”

“Mr. Park, there is somebody who is trying to enter the premises,” Minseo said hurriedly. 

“What?” Jay felt himself begin to panic. After all the shit he had to deal with earlier, he couldn’t handle the thought of you being in danger again. If there was an intruder, he wasn’t sure what he would do except kill him if he were to try and hurt you. 

“It appears to be your fiancé’s family. They have not said anything about visiting today, so I’m just not sure what you’d like us to do.”

Jay sighed in relief. Thank the Gods. 

“Open the gates, let them in,” he said. He looked over to see your eyes had been lit up and you abruptly stood up to begin running towards the main floor. He found it adorable how excited you were to finally see your sister and father but felt guilty not letting them see you earlier. 

He knew he should have called them while you were in the hospital, but was worried about the news getting out. The media had already gotten a hold of the fact that the CEO of Aphrodite was not him, and not his mother. The news of her going to jail sent a ripple through Olympian society, but as of now the details of why she was arrested were kept under wraps from the public.

He had thought if he said too much to the wrong people, the news about you would come out and he knew how much you wanted your private life to stay private. He didn’t want random people prodding around in your situation and treating it as though it were some drama. 

They were not going to be happy with the things he’d let happen to you, even if he was the reason why their family war was now over. 

When he finally mustered up the courage to face your family, he began to walk downstairs. He was nervous to face your father, but even twice as much, he was afraid to see how your sister reacted. He was convinced she would try to take you away from him and change your mind about forgiving him. 

The sight in front of him filled his heart with warmth. You were wrapped around the arms of your older sister and your father, a comforting and familial embrace. He was often envious of how loving your family was to you compared to how cold and isolating his household was. 

Karina’s arms were wrapped around your shoulders, and she held you as though you would fly away if she let you go. Just as he thought, when Karina opened her eyes and they laid on him, her expression turned to that of fury. 

Her heels clacked on the wooden floor as she walked over to him, and the sound of her palm landing on his cheek echoed through the walls. He could feel his ear ringing from the harshness of her strike. You gasped in shock, but he looked over at you comfortingly, assuring you that it didn’t hurt in the slightest bit, although he wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up with a bruise on his face tomorrow. 

“I told you, bastard!” Karina screamed, her skin becoming red. “I swore that I would kill you if you let anything bad happen to her, so I’m done playing nice,” she pushed him against the chest, although frustrated at how he didn’t budge from his stance. “My sister was almost murdered and it’s all your fault.”

“Karina!” you tried to intervene, but neither your sister nor father could hear through their storm of anger. 

Your father did end up pulling Karina back from mauling Jay to death, but he didn’t look any happier. He sighed, “What on earth is my daughter still doing in your home, Park?”

“Well she’s my wife, so there’s that.”

“Don’t play coy with me,” your father pointed his finger accusatorially at Jay. “You broke off the wedding, I heard of it. Your family has caused me and my daughters never-ending pain, and you have the audacity to keep holding one of them hostage?”

“In case you forgot, if it weren’t for me, you both would be six feet under. I put Aeri in prison before you could do anything about it.”

“She’s your mother, your fucking blood,” Karina seethed. “Why should we think you’re any different than her? For all we know, you’re still the biggest threat to my sister, and I’m never letting you lay a hand on her again.”

“I love your sister. I’ve always loved her, so don’t for a day accuse me of wanting to hurt her.”

“If you cared about her so much, how did she end up in the palms of your mother?”

“Enough!” you cursed. Everyone’s heads spun towards your way, shocked at your harsh tone. “You are talking about me like I’m not in the room with you. Karina, he’s telling the truth. He is the reason why Aeri is no longer a threat, so please, listen to me.”

Karina huffed in annoyance but turned around to continue letting you speak. “I know you two don’t want to accept it, but I love Jay. I love him so much that when I was separated from him it felt like I was broken. If you don’t support it, I understand, but please believe me that Jay isn’t forcing me to do anything.”

Jay’s heartbeat quickened at your admission. After what his mother had done, he was now at the mercy of you constantly having to reassure him that you truly loved him.

“If we don’t support it?” your father asked appallingly. “I can’t even begin to understand what you mean, sweetheart. You didn’t even want to marry him in the beginning.”

“I don’t need you to understand, Dad,” you slowly walked up to your father and looked at him pleadingly. “I don’t want to choose between you and him. I know you think I’m making a mistake, but I trust Jay.”

“He killed a man in your house,” Karina barked.

“To protect me!” you retorted. 

Your father snapped his head to face Karina and asked, “What? Who hurt her? Why wasn’t I made aware of this?” Your heart fell as you realised that Karina probably didn’t tell your father not to worry him, given how little he could do to help you. 

Karina spoke up, “It was her old bodyguard. He assaulted Y/N and Jay ended up killing him. I admit, I would’ve done the same, but this doesn’t change what he has done.” The tone of Karina’s voice made you think that the only reason Jay was not dead was because of you. 

“You let a man in this house that hurt my little girl?” your father clenched his fists as though he was preparing to punch Jay slack across the jaw. 

Jay stared him down, not showing any sign of fear. “I will never stop apologising for letting that monster near her, nor will I forgive myself for allowing my mother to do what she did to her. I would walk the ends of this earth to atone for this, but it’s up to Y/N to forgive me, not you.”

You looked at him as though to say, I forgave you, baby. I forgave you a long time ago. 

“This is insane,” Karina said frustratingly. 

Your father sighed, sending a murderous glare towards Jay. “I suppose you’re right. If I had it my way, you’d have been in prison like your wretched mother, but I love my daughter.”

“Dad!” Karina said in shock. How could he just let this happen?

He looked over at you and placed a warm hand on your shoulder, eyes swimming in concern and worry, “If this bastard does even one more thing to jeopardise your safety, I can’t promise you I will hold back.”

Jay stood completely still, knowing in his head he was making the same threat to himself. He couldn’t imagine ever forgiving himself if he let one more thing hurt you. 

You nodded in understanding. Although your father was saying all this, he could feel the love between you two. Perhaps it’s why he was more accepting of the relationship than Karina, who had yet to experience a life-changing love like yours.  

“I’m going home,” Karina said through her clenched teeth. You walked up to her and wrapped your arms around her. You understood she would need some time to get over her distrust of Jay, so you didn’t want to make her more upset by arguing. She placed a gentle hand on your back, “I always have a room for you in my apartment, understand? I will be there for anything, just give me a call.”

You placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry for not calling earlier. I was supposed to be on bed rest, and I wasn’t sure where my phone was—,” you were cut off by the feeling of Karina lightly slapping your shoulder.

“You should be sorry,” she pouted, “Never leave me hanging like that. I couldn’t breathe for the last few days when I didn’t know what was going on with you.”

As Karina and your father began to leave, Jay called out to them. “You two should stay for dinner.”

You looked over at him, confused at his suggestion, but Jay just grinned warmly at you. If he was planning on marrying you for real this time, he needed your family to at least tolerate him. Surely both of you couldn’t have bad relationships with the in-laws, and he knew how much you loved your sister and father, so he placed his first step into his plan of getting closer to them. 

You were standing in front of the lush king mattress, unpacking all your vacation clothes and necessities. It had been two months since all the drama with you and Jay’s families, and he decided to take you on a summer trip to help forget everything, even if it was for a little while.

The island was hot, and the sand on the beach in front of your hotel room was pale and glistening. You had brought mostly loose summer dresses, partially because it was the most convenient thing to wear ever since your bump began to grow, as well as the fact that Jay always thought you looked delectable in floral sundresses. 

It probably helped that some of them were practically see-through, giving him a clear look at the swimsuits underneath. You smirked at the thought of making him struggle to contain himself throughout your trip. 

As you were about to take out your last bit of clothes, you felt a strong set of hands wrap around your waist. Jay brushed your head to the side and began placing pecks on the back of your neck. “Hi, my love,” he said.

Although he had told you the reason he wanted to take you here was to relax and forget the worries of your life, in actuality he thought of this trip as a pre-honeymoon, before your wedding. 

He had to remember that although you two were together again, and he still called you his wife, the state of your relationship wasn’t all too clear. 

He called off your marriage to give you the freedom to pursue something in the future, but now he knew you loved him, and he trusted that nothing would come between that. He wasn’t going to propose to you during the trip, as he wanted to wait and maybe get the blessing of your sister and your father which was probably going to take a while.

Either way, while you were lounging around, running around in the sun and swimming in the water, he had to make a plan on how to propose to you again. Properly this time.

[number1jeonginstan]

Heyyy!!! I just wanted to ask if u could write this very interesting idea of mine. Chan making you roll a dice and what number you roll, is the amount of thrust you take. But you keep calling him daddy and he can't hold back anymore so he starts pounding u like a pup in the heat. NO PRESSURE totally fine if you don't feel comfortable writing this. But just thoughts. Have a nice day/night!💗

A/N: YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I WAS TO WRITE THIS. Like I wanted to write it as soon as I got this, but I got really sick so writing has been on the back burner, but I hope I did your ask justice with my writing. ALSO, my mentions are still open y'all so....

wc: 1.2k (not enough in my opinion 😔)

warnings: 18+ only, minors do not interact, unprotected sex, afab!reader, reader is called slut, daddy kink (obvi), some fluff as well because I love fluff

It was the first day Chan had off in ages. It was the afternoon and you were snuggled up on his bed, laying on top of him, head on his chest watching a movie. “All I’m saying is Andrew Garfield is hot.” You said with a shrug, eating another piece of popcorn. Chan was above you rolling his eyes. 

“You think everyone is hot,” he said stealing a sip of your drink. You lift your head from his chest looking up at him, “You can’t possibly deny it, look at him.” 

“I never thought you had a thing for skinny white guys, maybe I should stop going to the gym?” before he could tease you even more you quickly shouted out a “No!” 

“If you stop going to the gym, it better be for yourself, you know I love you no matter what,” you said giving him a big hug. He kissed your forehead as you both fell back into a comfortable silence.

An hour had passed and you both finally finished the movie. You got up from the bed, stretching your body since you were both lying down on the bed. Chan was still on the bed, stretched out like a starfish. “What should we do next? Do you want to play a board game?” you asked trying to put all the dishes you guys ate from earlier away. 

“Yeah we can do that, I think it would be fun,” you said whilst pulling out Monopoly from the stack of board games you both had accumulated over the last two years of Friday game nights with the rest of the members. 

“If you get park place again, I will never talk to you again.” 

“Chan stop being such a baby,” you said while rolling your eyes. “You love it though,” he said whilst pouting, placing a kiss on your cheek. 

You both finally got into the groove of playing the game, giggling at each other throughout it. “Hey! You are cheating, you can’t steal money from the bank.” Chan said swatting your hand away from the pile of money lying on his bed. “Oh come on,” you groaned, “I purposely gave you Park Place this time.”

“What! I won that place fair and square.” he looked at you with a confused face. “You keep telling yourself that Channie,” you said patting his cheek. 

“Oh, you wanna play that game?” he said while dragging you on top of his lap messing up the game along the way. “I was about to win” you whined. “Were you, were you really?” he said while kissing your lips. 

“Yes!” you said while kissing him back. “If you want to play a game, I have a great one for us to play,” he said with his signature smirk. “Mhm, and what would that be?” 

“We still have this die,” he said while rolling it in his hands, “let’s have some fun with it.”

“What do you have in mind” you asked looking up to him, still on his lap. “Why don’t we play a game? You roll the dice two times, and I multiply whatever it is.”

“Okay?” you asked a bit confused. “Sweetheart, you didn’t let me finish. Whatever that number is, is the number of times I’ll thrust into you.”  He said with a coy smile, “Don’t you think that will be fun baby?” 

You hesitantly agreed, thinking that, with luck by your side, you would roll all 5’s and 6’s, but you were so wrong. 

“Please Channie, I just need you to fuck me” you pleaded. You were underneath him, his cock rutting in and out of you to whatever you rolled the dice to. “Please, I need you in me,” you whined. 

“But I’m already in you unless you want me to stop?” he said while slowly slipping out of you. “Wait!” you stopped him and he stilled in you. You quickly rolled the dice twice, not wanting him to stop. “You rolled three twice, so that means 9 thrusts doesn’t it? Should we make the best of it sweetheart?” he said whilst rubbing your clit. 

You just nodded, wanting to feel him inside of you. He slowly thrust inside of you, wanting you to feel every inch of his cock, every vein as your pussy clenched around him. “You are such a good girl, taking my cock so well.”

His words made you clench around him, moaning at the way he was hitting so deep inside of you. You could cum with just his cock inside of you, the stretch being so big that he had to always prep you so well, just to take it. But him fucking you so sensually and slowly was getting you nowhere. 

“I need more” you moaned, feeling him particularly deep inside of you. “Awe, is my cock not enough? Do you need to get fucked like a slut? I don’t think I can do that baby, you gotta take it like a good girl. Maybe roll higher next time and I can fuck you faster.” 

It was torture and he knew it, you were squirming underneath him. “Roll again,” he said while kissing your forehead and you did “6 and 6 this time sweetheart, guess I’m going a bit faster.” 

He began pounding into you and you couldn’t control yourself “Fuck daddy, it feels so good.” You didn’t mean to say that, you had never called him daddy before and you had no idea how he would react, before you could even apologize, he began pounding into you.

“Fuck baby, you like that? Do you need daddy to fuck you til you forget your own name?” you just moaned, he was fucking you so good your tongue was loling out to the side. “Come on baby, answer daddy. Do you like my cock fucking into you like the little slut you are?” 

“Yes daddy, so good daddy, I’m gonna cum” you said as he began circling your clit simultaneously. You couldn’t control yourself, he was pounding into you so well 

“Fuck baby, be a good girl and cum for me, cum on daddy’s cock okay. You can do that for daddy right baby?” you just nodded, your walls squeezing him tighter as he started thrusting inside of you harder. “Will be a good girl for daddy, gonna cum on his cock” you hiccuped as you finally felt that strand in your stomach snap. 

You were cumming all over his cock as he continued to rut inside of you. “Where do you want me to cum baby? Where do you want daddy to cum?” 

“Inside of me please” you whimpered and he started pounding into you. “Fuck want daddy’s cum don’t you baby? Want daddy to fill you up.” 

“Fuck” he groaned as he stilled inside of you painting your walls with his hot cum. He laid next to you, still inside. “Where did the daddy come from baby?” he asked kissing your forehead. “I have no idea, but I’m glad I did because I think that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you said with a giggle.

[partitionis]

on the horror of fame:

something that I often find myself thinking about when I’m back in Taiwan and around people who are far richer than I’ll ever be [1] is how the day-to-day experience of being rich and powerful is actually pretty… dehumanizing

there’s a sweet spot where you’re wealthy enough that you don’t have to worry about money ever and still anonymous enough that you can pop down to the 7/11 without anyone knowing who you are, but once you’re famous enough that people on the street tend to recognize you? you’re fucked.

ok, you haven’t driven a car in a few decades because you’ve been rich enough to employ a driver and someone of your status isn’t really the type to drive themselves around. this is fine. except now your driver knows all of your business. that’s also fine, you pay him for his discretion. do you pay him enough? can you be sure that his institutional loyalty is enough to stop him from taking a tabloid payment? maybe you want to go somewhere spur of the moment. you could call your driver, and he’d drop whatever he was doing and be at your house to get you within fifteen minutes [2], but you know, maybe he’s with his kids or something. you could take the subway, except if you do that multiple people will recognize you and everyone will treat you like you have some sort of infectious disease [3]. guess you’d better stay in.

and every moment of every day is like this! being a famous man is great because women want to have sex with you and men want to be you. except mostly what everyone wants is access to the wealth and power you represent: people tell you half-truths to try to convince you to invest in some bullshit or they put their hands dangerously close to your penis in public social situations [4]. you— the person you actually are— are mostly treated like an obstacle to be overcome or a puzzle to be figured out. ‘what kind of currency do I need to put in to the old man to get what I want out of him’

so you have all of the things people want, but they’re poisoned by abundance. you can go anywhere and buy anything, but you can’t do it without feeling the eyes of the world on you. you have more friends and potential lovers than you know what to do with, but do you? one of the great privileges of being a regular person [5] is that you can generally trust that social gestures are genuine. I’m just a regular guy and the only benefit anyone gets from throwing me a birthday party or having sex with me is that we ate birthday cake or had sex. none of these things will unlock access to money or power because I’ve got none to give, but once you do, you invariably attract these people. they’re not all of your social circle, but they’re a lot of it, because competing for your limited time and attention with the people who are willing to grope you in public feels vaguely debasing

no wonder musicians are alcoholics! no wonder the people I know are all withdrawn and snappish. you’re just some guy, and you’re living a life so divorced from the rest of the world that you have more in common with the god-kings of old than you do with your own parents. is it worth it? I mean I won’t lie, sometimes it’s pretty sick; I’d never buy a $5,000 watch, but I can pretty easily imagine what I’d do with thousands of dollars of pocket change. but then I remember that one person I know refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is because people make such a big fucking deal out of it and I think, hm, if that were me I’d probably develop a heroin addiction [6].

[1] presumably

[2] let’s not consider how much it sucks to be the driver in this situation

[3] you are not the good kind of famous in this story, sorry.

[4] I’m sure this was titillating at one point but I’m also pretty sure it got old by the third decade, never mind what it’s like in the fifth

[5] unless you’re an Olive Garden manager who posts a lot about fake friends and backstabbers on Facebook or wherever the beleaguered Olive Garden managers of the world are posting today

[6] at least I’d be able to pay for it

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader: Together Apart Ch.2

Warnings/Mentions: History of abuse, neglect, strong language, mentions of character death, alcohol and drug abuse, ptsd, shared trauma, reader is cold, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Summary: Reader gives friendships a try, and the first signs of Daryl changing start showing after unexpected tragedy.

Notes: I love writing Merle and early season Daryl, I hope they're in character!

"I'm ten seconds away from blowing his goddamn brains out."

"Not worth the wasted bullets." Daryl watched as Shane stalked back up towards the Greene house. You scoffed and rolled your eyes when you saw him stopping himself from slamming the door, at least needing to respect Hershel gave him some restraint from being a complete piece of shit. You weren't sure how long that would last though.

"Can't fucking stand these people Daryl. He looked like he wanted to kill me."

"Ya called 'em a homewrecker. The hell'd you expect?"

The days would go by without pause, no matter how you all screamed and cried for just one minute, one minute to get it together and breathe. Everything was constantly changing, and it ended up making you colder. 

The Greene farm was a nice place. You enjoyed the chores you took on there, you got to work with the horses, the cows, and the old barn cat. He'd end up passing away after a while, which would have really upset you if it hadn't been such a peaceful death, he just fell asleep with a stomach full of deer stew and never woke up. 

Andrea's strange half admiration and half disturbed likeness to you strengthened at the time on the farm, which you didn't know how to handle. You'd always wanted a girlfriend, ever since your first one in 6th grade ended your friendship. Your mother had shown up to pick you up from school, so high on Percocet she could barely keep her eyes open. She rear-ended the father of your friend, he got pissed, she spit in his face, and he called the police. ‘My daddy says I can't hang out with trailer trash like you anymore.’ She'd told you the next day. 

You secretly liked the way Andrea looked up to you. It was nice having a woman think highly of you, or any adult for that matter. She would often ask for shooting practice, and you even let her try out your bow a few times. 

She kind of fucked up your budding friendship when she shot Daryl. If you hadn't been so busy helping him get up into the house you would have shot her in her foot, and that's not an exaggeration. You wanted to stay up in that room with him until he fully healed, willing to sleep on the floor just so you'd be with him at all times, but the insecure fear of being seen as weak and clingy prevented you from doing so. You were out in the woods most of those days, hunting or killing any dead you ran across.

It was almost humiliating the way people would update you on Daryl’s condition. At first it was just Rick letting you know he’d be okay, but then it was Maggie and Hershel updating you on his eating habits, how much he ate, when he ate, he was only in bed for a couple of days, but it felt like weeks. Each time someone would tell you the miniscule details of his day you’d respond the same way, ‘Why’re you telling me? I’m not his mamma’. If you could look past the embarrassment of feeling like a worried child, you would be grateful. 

Andrea unknowingly made it up to you when you heard her bitching at Lori in the kitchen once, apparently having enough of her ‘a woman's place is in the kitchen making life worth living, leave the guns to the men' spiel. You complimented her afterwards. 

“Been real sick of that shit.” You had said as you loaded your Ruger pistol. “She's lucky it was you who said it, I think I would've punched that bitch in the face if she said that bullshit to me.”

Andrea was almost too stressed over the Beth situation to fully appreciate the gravity of your praise. She nodded as she looked over the field, eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sun, her arms crossed over her chest. “All my life I've heard that kind of thinking from men. It's different when it's a woman telling you that you're not worth the same as a man. Especially when said man lied about her husband being dead and got in her pants right after.” 

You smirked, stuffing your gun into the back of your jeans as you looked her over. “Wanna go kill some dead people?” 

“Oh, god.” She groaned dramatically. “That's the best idea I've heard all week.”

After you lost the farm, you wound up at an old prison. That was one of the rare times you had allowed yourself to try and be positive, and forced yourself to make friends, although it was obvious all your relationships were strained. Andrea was the only person who had ever made an effort to get to know you, and she was gone. 

Shane’s death didn’t affect you much, truthfully you were glad Rick killed him. The constant tension and heated arguments drained you just as much as Dale’s annoying humanitarianism. You attempted being friends with Lori, Hershel, Carol and Beth, despite the young girl being your polar opposite. She was soft, pretty, sweet and bubbly, you were hard, mean, vulgar and distant. 

Which might be one of the reasons your relationship with her had started to work. Beth saw you as a challenge, like a mean feral cat, and deep down you saw her as a possible redemption. If you could become friends with Beth, the sweetest girl with the kindest heart, you could do it with anyone. 

Lori never trusted you, so you never got far with her. She would look at you with this look on her face, like you were always seconds away from cutting her baby out of her stomach or some twisted shit. You had cursed her out once for said expressions, calling her a stuck-up bitch who thinks every woman that isn't her is beneath her. She died a couple days later, and a part of you that you couldn't push away felt like shit about it, for a very long time.

The whole Governor shit was a pain in your ass. But it was a blessing in disguise, because he was the reason you were reunited with Merle. 

“I want to come.” You stood your ground, grabbing your Ruger AR-15 from its spot on your cell wall. 

“I said no, we’ve got enough concerns, we don't need to be worrying about you.” Rick tried to speak in a hushed tone, his intentions good, not wanting you to feel embarrassed if the others heard you being denied. They knew you seethed at the prospect of being told what to do. You didn't work well with others, that was glaringly obvious.

“I don’t need you to worry about me.” You hissed, tugging the heavy gun over your back so the strap dug into your shoulder. 

Rick repeated your name, using his angry father tone, and that seemed to work. Your shoulders drooped and you growled out a few insults under your breath. You missed when the group members had more say in the way things were. Rick had become more authoritarian after Lori died, and it never affected you until that day. 

When they got back you were waiting at the door, pacing like a mother in those movies whose children had stayed out too late. Your eyes brightened as they filed into the prison, you saw Maggie and Glenn were back, and Michonne had returned as well. 

Your anxious smile slowly faded as the door closed behind them, counting two missing bodies. 

“Where…?” You breathed, looking between Rick and Maggie, your heart racing. 

Rick started having a goddamn mental breakdown after that, screaming at the walls and pointing his gun at things only visible to him. Tyrese, the newcomer, and his group fled, and a part of you considered it as well. If Daryl and Merle were dead, you had no reason to stay. Especially not with Rick behaving like a fucking maniac and no one speaking to you. 

True to your nature, you abandoned the prison in search of the Dixons. You knew they couldn’t have truly left, they would never do that, they'd never leave and forget you. Especially Daryl. He had promised to you one night after you fully secured the prison, that he was the one thing in your life that would never change. He’d never die, he’d never leave, he would always be there. Not in those exact words, of course, but in his own way.

He had stayed true to his promise. You found the two of them on their way to the prison, traveling through the same trails you’d originally used to find the place. 

“Thought I’d never see you two assholes again.” The apocalypse had made you more skilled at hiding your true emotions. You came off as playfully irritated, a contrast to the way you were barely keeping tears at bay. 

“Awww,” Merle teased in a condescending tone, faking a pout, “You miss us?”

“No. Rick’s group makes you seem like a peach though.” 

“Our group.” Daryl’s voice had taken on a strange edge as he walked ahead of you down the trail. “Those are our people now.”

You glanced at Merle to see he was outwardly displaying your same reaction, rolling his eyes and silently mimicking his brother's words. 

No matter how happy you were to see the two of them, Daryl’s reply echoed in your head for a long time. He meant what he said, you could tell by the way he spoke. He was changing, you hadn’t noticed it until that day, he wasn’t the same Daryl from Atlanta, the Daryl you knew. You swallowed your retort and followed him back to the prison. 

The Governor shit was really a pain in your ass after that day, making your earlier experiences a walk in the park. Through the tense days you found yourself around Merle more, the two of you discussing the prospect of just getting the fuck out of there in hushed voices, despite you both knowing Daryl would never abandon Ricks group. It was like he had some sort of unknown obligation to them, something you couldn't decode for the life of you, no matter how hard you tried.

“You're gettin’ real close to bein’ a bonafide pussy, boy.” Merle had said one day, shoving his finger in Daryl’s face. You stayed silent as they argued, biting at the soft skin inside your cheek. 

“Why? Cause I ain't jus’ lookin’ out for myself no more? Cause I actually give a shit about these people?” Daryl standing up to Merle wasn’t a familiar sight, and it made you feel emotions you really weren’t comfortable with. 

“It’s making you weak, brother.” Merle urged, nearly slicing his own scalp when he went to put his hands on his head, the heat of the moment causing him to forget his right hand was now a weapon. “Can't you see it? I ain’t gonna let you die for these sheep.”

Daryl would soon come to regret his last interaction with his brother. You, on the other hand, were lucky enough to have had some peaceful final moments with him before he vanished. 

“Dude, that's my fucking bed!” You shoved Merle away from your mattress, groaning when you saw it shredded and ruined. You’d have to go to the other cellblock and get another, if he hadn’t already paid those cells a visit. 

Merle sat on the floor breathing heavily through his mouth, resting an arm over his propped up knee.

“The hell you do that for?” You grumbled, kicking a chunk of bedding out of your cell and into the hallway. 

“Hopin’ to find some contraband.” 

“Dude, you could’ve just asked me. Holy shit.” You grabbed one of your bags from the corner of your room and began to dig through it, finally pulling out Merle’s old stash bag. HIs eyes lit up and he practically jumped for joy, snatching it out of your hands.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” He grabbed your face with his hand and noisily kissed your cheek, making you groan and shove him off. “Oh sweetheart. Whooo! Daryl know about this?”

“No, didn’t want him to know. I’m better at making shit last than him.” You replied. Daryl didn't like drugs the way Merle did, he had his run in with meth and its consequences and he was strong enough to quit and not touch it again. Other drugs were a different story though, you suspected the speed and painkillers would be gone by now if he had known you were the one who stole it.

He fished out the group of smaller baggies he was looking for, full of various shades of white in different textures. He groaned like he just creamed his pants and leaned over, planting another dramatic smooch to your forehead.

You stayed with him on the floor of your cell as he got high, and eventually he left to go ‘clear out the walkers in the tombs’, something you were happy to sit out on. He told you to stay back and you laughed, teasing with a ‘it's all yours, tweaker’. 

Even though your last moments with him were pleasant, you never forgave yourself for not accompanying him. 

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams @my1fx

[munsonkitten]

“Can I tell you something?” Steve whispers, tugging Eddie in closer to his body.

Eddie hums in response, nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck. “Sure, baby.”

“You know how we got you out of the Upside Down and brought you back here?” Steve asks. He rubs his hands up and down Eddie’s back, and continues without waiting for an answer. “I carried you up to the bathtub in my parents’ bathroom, got your pants off, and you were covered in so much blood, and I was already fighting off an infection myself, so I wasn’t all there, and I honestly… Man, I honestly thought the bats ate your dick and that I’d have to break the news.”

Eddie snorts, a quiet laugh pressed to Steve’s skin.

“Then you said to me, and you were half-conscious and kind of delirious, you said ‘if you wanna look at my pussy, at least buy me dinner first,’” Steve whispers. “Figured maybe it was fine, then.”

“Wait,” Eddie says, pulling back. “Is that why you always brought food when you started coming over?”

Steve laughs, then shakes his head. Quietly, he answers, “Nah, man, that was because you lost like forty pounds from not eating.”

“Well, that’s not as fun,” Eddie huffs. “Can we pretend you’ve just been trying to catch a glimpse ever since?”

“Sure,” Steve whispers. “I mean, not that I wasn’t trying to catch another glimpse, I mean that much is pretty obvious at this point, but, nah. I was just worried you weren’t eating enough.”

Eddie hums again and rolls over onto his back. “I don’t remember much. Being here, I mean. I just… I mean, I have bits and pieces, but then I remember waking up in the hospital with Wayne next to my bed. I didn’t think that was real, to be honest.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs. “Yeah, it, uh… I tried taking care of you, and after I kinda put the pieces together, I wasn’t gonna let anyone else see you or touch you, I mean, I kind of knew what it meant, you know, to be transsexual, and I didn’t know everything, but I figured it was enough that I found out without your permission. I mean, I think about… Never mind, just… Yeah, so I tried taking care of you, but, like I said, I was sick, too. I think, um, it was Nancy… She kind of found us half-dead in my bed after not hearing from us for a couple days. She got in contact with Wayne, got us both to the hospital. You were there longer than me.”

“Does Nancy know?” Eddie whispers. “I mean, we talk a lot, and she’s never… She’s never mentioned it, but would she if she did?”

“She doesn’t know, baby. As far as I know, she doesn’t. I’m telling you, man, I didn’t let anyone else see you for days. I was…”

“My guard dog, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve chuckles.

“Mhm,” Eddie hums. “Should give you a treat.”

Steve smiles, presses a kiss to Eddie’s temple. “I’ve got it already.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie mumbles. “You can’t break out the Harrington charm right now.”

“Why not?” Steve asks.

“Because I’m gonna need to fuck you again for that and I don’t think I can move.”

Steve laughs and curls himself around Eddie. “Alright, I’ll cool it with the charm, then.”

They both sleep soundly that night, but Steve finds himself thinking about all of those complicated things before he drifts off, and again when he wakes up in the morning, as he watches Eddie fix his hair and slide on his rings over painted nails.

from chapter 5 of “you make me feel like i am whole again” on ao3

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Logan and writer! reader?

Behind your apartment door, Logan could hear you talking to your mom.

She was on speaker. Like always. So you could do what you needed to do and just put in a comment here or there. And he winced. Christ. That hadn't changed. And probably wouldn't. You could be in labor and she would still be asking you for money or complaining about her neighbors not noticing anything about you.

He had a key. He could let himself in. But he knocked anyway.

You needed to be able to tell him 'no'. That he decided was important. As bad as he needed to talk to you, he couldn't just make you do it. But he wasn't ready when you opened the door.

You look exhausted. Stressed. Drawn. Not the way you should look. The way you used to look even. Or the way you used to look when you looked at him. You drew back away from him, pulling your cardigan closer to your body like it will protect you. "We need to talk," He growled.

"I don't see why," you answer, "You made it clear you didn't want-"

"Don't be stupid," he snapped, anxiety roiling up as he stepped forward. "Y/N you're falling apart-"

"Fuck off," you snap back "God just fuck off. I'm trying okay?" Tears well up and you gesture to the door, "Mission accomplished, you've pointed out that I'm worthless you can go."

"Sweetheart-"

"God, is it ever e-fucking-nough for you? I get it I'm stupid. I'm worthless. I'm a distraction until I'm not. I don't matter. Nothing matters and nothing is ever enough. Okay. Perfect. Point taken I don't need you to keep telling me okay? I ruin everything I touch-" You break off and wipe angry tears off your cheeks and all Logan can do is stand there dumbfounded when you take a swing at him. Catching your wrist to keep you from hurting yourself.

You try to twist out of his grip and he doesn't let you go, pulling you against his chest carefully. Cradling the back of your head. He can hear your heart racing. The anxiety. And the pain you're in is palpable. You're so worked up and upset you don't make any sense but the words just keep coming and you keep struggling uselessly.

"Shhhh," he soothed. "I'm here. You're okay-"

"Why am I never worth changing for?" you stammer. "Why am I always worth leaving."

And he doesn't know what to say. Because he didn't know if it was him you were asking about. He opened the wound, but he didn't make them. All he can do is let you cry. Let you dissolve into a weak, pitiful puddle in his arms.

He gathered you up and let you rest your head on his shoulder. Holding you and rubbing your back, heedless of the snot and the mess as he rocked you on the sofa. "When's the last time you ate?" he asked softly. "Slept?"

"I don't know."

" 's not good, Sweetheart," he said.

"I'm not hungry and I can't sleep, I just keep thinking and it keeps going."

He nodded. He wanted to ask about doctors. About how you were feeling. If you were doing anything to take care of the fact that there was a baby coming. But he didn't know how you would take that and this- he hardly knew how to handle this. All he knew right now was that you needed to eat and you needed to sleep because you were getting sick. Very sick. And if he wanted to make it right with you, he needed to start with getting something to eat in you. Something healthy. And then once you's eaten, it was going to be time for bed.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Heroic Collection

New Haven wasn't a major metropolis. Some big city like Delhi or Tokyo, Jakarta and the like. It was big for the area. A major hub for commerce and crime on a local scale. But Nationally? INTERNATIONALLY? Not even close. No matter WHAT the great ambitions that haunted the Mayor, late at night, may tell you.

So, really, there was NO fucking reason for any A Listers to be here.

NONE.

Our biggest exports were fancy fucking jams and that one fashion line I couldn't pronounce. We had honest to God Jam festivals in the fall. It was a circuit, Mayor gave out awards. There were pies. Firestrike always ate himself sick. Agent always laughed at him. I... Fuck, my head was ringing. I'd hit that last building HARD. Was pretty sure I tasted blood. Not... not sure if that was because I busted something in my mouth or...

Over my comms, I could hear my teammates fighting. Trying to hail the Alliance. If we could... could just hold on...

Long enough for the major players to GET here?

Then what? I had to wonder. Staring at a burning bus in front of me. It was half way lodged through Mrs. Brahimi's shop. Please, God, let her and the workers have got out all right. I'd been there just this morning. She made me those stuffed flatbread things. Said I was still too skinny. Should rest more.

I use the twist remains of a book return to lever myself to my feet. Book..? Oh. I'm by the library. Which..? Fuck. Main one. That's city hall.

Smoke rises around the city I've lived in all my life. Fires everywhere. I'm supposed... supposed to be a hero. But I can barely stand. Feel sick as the world sways. My body is one big bruise. Gotta... gotta keep fighting. Helping. Save people.

In the distance, I can hear screams.

I'm coming. I promise. I'm coming!

I make my screaming body move. Stumble. Catch myself. Then keep going. The hiss and spit in my ear tells me that my communicator is probably half broken. I don't try it, in case that breaks it the rest of the way. Wrench doors from half crushed cars to free trapped civilians. Lever wreckage, hold it with trembling limbs, so people can crawl to safety. Run. Please, god, RUN!

We aren't strong enough.

He's here, The Collective.

A hivemind super threat. Alien supposedly. So far above my team's pay grade we know basically nothing. The kind of thing we were expected to never realistically see. We're nobody's. Fuck it, we're HAPPY being nobody's. It meant we got to go home each night. Didn't face The Horrors. Like him.

He CONSUMES.

Hungry. Trying to fill some void that's never going to fill. Supposedly a planet eater. Gutting worlds for resources, materials, to continue his own expansion. Now fixated on Earth for it's continued refusal to die. For its defiance. Some A+ sort of monster, to our high C rank. At best.

Fuck... we dealt with HUMANS. Fought gimmicks and tech. Little fish in our little pond. Now this tsunami was bringing the ocean to US and it was all we could do, to swim and survive.

I leaned against a half smashed car. Braced myself against it, more then anything, then started pulling pot shots. I... I was gonna black out soon. With a concussion like this? Probably wasn't gonna be waking up. Especially if those THINGS found me before a friendly did.

All across the city I called home, The Collective had Drones tearing the place apart.

They'd almost be pretty. Tall, elegant, androgynous lookin, supermodel twinks in battle armor. Drones apparently covered their lower face. I'd know the "commander" by their uncovered face and "use of adornments". Useful! Except they could fucking SWITCH on command, so you have to take out ALL of them.

Because they weren't a collection of different soldiers.

THEY weren't a THEY. That? Was a fucking HE. Singular.

You don't consider each of your individual cell as people. Each follicle of hair. Why would HE? God damn it. It was like fighting a giant. Against Gods. They just kept coming. And my ammo? Was not endless.

Worse. The drones had stopped looking. I don't know WHAT they had been searching for. But now? They started to converge on me. On city hall. Fuck. I... I couldn't even really stand anymore. My vision was blurring. I knew for a FACT my shots were shit. But dense as they were crowding? It seemed enough. Kept them back.

Three cartridges left.

Two.

Only one more...

The Alliance was coming. Half my team had gone silent. I could hear tears in the voice of Tech, back in the office. They had our life signs. Built into our armor. I could only imagine what mine looked like. Prayed, like I hadn't since I was a kid, that the others were just unconscious. Safe somewhere.

Someplace this nightmare couldn't reach them.

I doubted I was that lucky.

Tech was begging me to hold on. Giving me ETAs. And... And I was out of bullets. The block half full of Drones. I had escrima sticks. A fucking tazer. It would have to do. Sticks came out, as I swayed to my feet. No longer letting the car behind me hold my weight. What's a little... let's say, hundred or so, on one? Eh?

Bring your friends. Let's make it a fair fight.

I'll go easy on you.

Bravado until the end. Remember, never know who's watching. You are a symbol. Before you are a man, you are their HERO. Don't you DARE let them down. Even if you die. Especially when you die. B.. Bravado until the end. Plaste on a smirk and say a one-liner, we got hope to shoulder.

I took down about three Drones... I think... before the rest swarm me.

Feel hands pinning my arms. My torso. Everything. A weak point between the panels is ripped open. High grade military fabrics doing jack shit against their impossible strength. The distinct pinch tug of a needle in my skin. Cold spreading. The sudden exhaustion of a powerful sedative. I... am gone.

Time... is blurry.

Now and Then running together in my senses. My brain. The concussion doesn't help. Or... or didn't? It feels... gone? Gone-ing? Oh... look, sky. Clouds. Pretty. Wasn't I standing? I am standing. No... no being dragged. Chair? Not chair. Stairs? Carried. Pretty window..... where am I? Fuzzy. Bluzzy fuzzy purple beans~ he he he~ oh! Those are the... watch'ma call it! Gucci chairs! That rich lady had! Neat. Plurble.

Ouch! Why'd you pi...?

My mouth is dry as sand. But suddenly? I am hyper aware. The floating drift of my mind VIOLENTLY gone, replaced by alerted and focus. Drones surround me in a vaguely familiar hallway. Shit. I think it's that rich designer's place. My helmet is off, but my mask is still in place, thank god. The Drones stand far to close for my liking. Their many eyes, amused.

So glad to entertain, you Fuck.

I am frog marched down the hall. Damn near dragged. They were too smart to restrain me with my own cuffs, unfortunately. So my hands are bound behind my back with something tight I can't get a good feel off. Bastard secured it to my belt, too. Great.

The Collective's "Face" is surrounded by what must be every jewel in the city. Piled high in some vague sorting pattern I refuse to even try and comprehend. He's trying on rings. One on every finger, to see what matches his skin tone. Looks good. Already, he has a pearl stud and some earrings he's decided he likes. He looks up as I'm dragged in, and I realize immediately what one of "a few other differences" between him and the Drones are...

It's the EYES,

They GLOWED.

Metallic almost. Nearly neon. They reflected the light in a way the Drones simply did not. It made their face... horrificly predatory. Made for WATCHING, somehow. Unnerving and haughty. Beautiful still, but uncomfortable to be near.

Sitting up on a table that basicly swallows the room, dead center like a show piece on display, with one long leg tossed over the other and no fucking shirt on? The Face looks almost carefully, artfully, staged. To maximize some "haughty yet coy, alien prince who maybe wants to fuck you" shtick.

Does... Does he not realize I'm NOT one of the usual opponents? I mean. Flattered at the "join me! The Darkside has sex and cookies!" set up. Always fun. Classic, really. But, like? I would be... at BEST... a solidly MID goon.

Also "NO".

Gonna preemptively throw that out there. Maybe some expletives for flavor. Suggest someplace sunless to shove it. SOLID "No". Good try, though.

Around me, the Drones are shaking with silent laughter. Staring down at me, their pale eyes dancing with amusement. It's creepy as hell. Unnerving to be the center of attention like this. For this many eyes, utterly in synch, to surround and watch my every twitch. Act fascinated and amused, like I'm some little animal performing tricks.

The Face hasn't dropped his Seduction to the Darkside routine. If anything, he seems delighted by the defiance. Which... yeah, that tracks. It's why he's harrasing out planet to begin with. That one's definitely on me. So, better question? Not that I'm not glad and all? Why the FUCK am I not dead.

"And lose my HERO? Perish the thought~" drawles The Collective, the posture light and lazy, even as something dangerous threaded itself through their tone. It sounded... possessive. But that couldn't be right. "I would NEVER do such a thing! In fact, we are going to have to be far more careful with that little processor of yours. Far too fragile. Just the one, too. Horrifying, really."

Thanks. Just what every guy loves to really make 'im feels special. Insults.

Fucker.

More laughter from all around me. I grit my teeth. Come oooon, Alliance. Where the hell ARE you guys!? Could REALLY use a rescue! The hands holding me still are drifting. Fucking handsy. Damn near stroking even as they hold me immobile. They're looking for the clasps and buckles on my armor. Have already found the obvious ones. Fingers oh so casually drifting over, to grip, flex, and tear them apart.

I do NOT like how loose my armor is starting to feel. Barely able to hold on. Protect me. Limited as that protection may be. I think I'm developing a horrifying empathy for clams. Crustaceans in general. Anything that gets slowly pried from the safety of it's shell, too certain doom.

The Face casually tosses the rings he was playing with aside. Tens of thousands of dollars bouncing off to God only knows where. He slides from the table to stand. Shit. He's huge.

The androgynous twink supermodel thing he has going on? Fucking LIES. Twists your perception of how, EXACTLY, strong the Face body IS. He clears seven feet easily, is muscled in that distinctly "never see me coming until it's too late" sort of way all the ninja types are.

The tattoos. It's the FUCKING tattoos! They give the illusion that he's slimmer then he actually is.

It HIDES MUSCLE MASS.

I can't tell if that's vanity or strategy and I hate it. Glare as he sashays towards me. Hips rolling in that elegant catwalk strut. I'm forced to my knees. Because of course I am. How ELSE will the bastard loom and gloat? Though really, weak as I currently feel, it's more that the Drones holding me up? Stop doing that. My knees more or less just give up on their own.

"Like what you see? You're staring so intently~" He mocks. If he were being genuine, I'd call it teasing. Flirtatious. But I know better. "It IS a pretty body, isn't it? I worked hard on it, you know. All sort of fun little details~ Might honestly be one of my favorites. If you're good for me, I'll let you explore it~"

THERE it is.

Darkside. Sex and cookies. Sign up today. Fuck you and not in the fun way. Keep your hands to yourself, Collective. You're not convincing me. You could tell me the sky was blue, and I'd make three presentations with a PowerPoint, on why you were a liar. No, still No, and a hefty fuck off No for spice.

Three steps away. Two steps. One.

A man that tall and dangerous? Frankly did NOT need heels. Figures he'd wear them anyway. Sharp enough to kill a man. Right infront of my folded knees. I refuse to look up. No more fucking games. Did have to wonder, though, if those pants... if they even WERE pants? Were painted on or not. Very tight. Looked vaguely metal yet leather.

Shit.

Fingers, splayed wide as they run themselves through my sweaty and probably bloodstained hair. Couldn't have been nice to touch. Wrong angle and just a touch too big to be a Drone. Light as a lover, sweet almost, soothing. Before it inevitably tightens, gripping the strands. Honestly not as hard as I expected, didn't even hurt.

Still, my head is forced back.

Back and back and back, forced to arch my spine, hang awkwardly at some forty-five degree angle. My thighs and abs already screaming. A Drone grabs the back of my armor and, with an almost casual yank, my chest plate is violently snapped free. Both tossed to the floor away from us.

"There we are~" the Face hums down at me, eyes nearly hypnotic in how the light moved from within, grin full of sharp and deadly teeth. "No more of that ugly thing in the way. I much prefer this~"

"Tell me, Little Hero, do you remember? Becoming mine."

No, I certainly do fucking not. What the HELL is he-!? From behind the Face a Drone steps. Dressed differently to the others. Casual clothes. Like... actual street clothes. If they weren't GREEN I never would been able too-...

In horror, I watch as the pigment of the Drones skin melts away to a middling average. So utterly nondescript a blend of ethnicities that it's genuinely hard to place, but won't stand out no matter where he goes in the city.

I... I had seen that face.

SAVED that man.

Thought he was CUTE! T..Thought WE were having some sort of MEET CUTE! Oh God. That was at the festival. I was out of costume. Saved him from getting crushed. Then my teammates handled everything before I could slip away. So I just... stayed. Showed the cute tourist the festivities.

We ate FANCY JAMS, YOU FUCK!

I pined our that cute tourist for WEEKS. Was UNBEARABLE. Tech threatened to shove me off a roof! Oh my god.

Laughter.

Dozens of mouths, laughing in perfect sync. The noise layered and bouncing strangely around the room. Deeper then it should be, higher as it swings. Like a radio or voice modulator that someone is messing with. A momentary loss of control. My anger fizzles out to fear. Oh... oh yeah...

I forgot I was fucked.

At.. at least I know why?

A step forward. Past too close and now basically in my lap. A foot on either side of my knees. I try not to think exactly where my face would be pressed if I wasn't dragged back, to hang near painfully arched, so he could lean down and I could be forced to make eye contact. That way lay madness.

He moved his other hand to my face, cupping it. Dragging his thumb possessively across my mouth. He hummed, pleased.

He pressed closer, sliding down my front to his knees, straddling my lap. REALLY hoped that WAS, in fact, a weapon in your pocket there, buddy. Because I am not liking the handsy direction this is going, nor have I come to terms with my meet cute being a monstrous planet killing warlord. Not feeling sexy, my guy.

....okay, a LITTLE sexy, but that is hormones and we ignore those.

Fuuuuuck, wandering haaaaands! Now would be a GOOD TIME for door kicking rescues! I do NOT want to learn anything new about myself today! I want to go HOME. Sleep forever, maybe! Have a burrito the size of my head! Oh god. Think unsexy thoughts. Math. Sad puppies! Sad puppies doing MATH!

The Collective had dragged me upright. Pressed my face right up against their Face's bare skin. All I could smell was expensive cologne and man. Warm skin. Oh god, I am so gay. This is hell and I am very, VERY gay. If evil, why sexy hot hot hot? Hormones are making very convincing arguments. Horny brain says let's make terrible life choices.

No! Nooooo. Stop it, Me! We are fucking better then this! God damn it, you trainwreck, you are a ROLE MODEL! Act like one! (But horny...) (NO!!!)

God I was never going to mock the fuckers who hesitates at the "sex n cookies" speech again. Persuasive mother FUCKER!

"Aah~" he sighed contentedly, far too close to a moan for my sanity's liking. Hands having finally found the hidden zippers of my undersuit. Slowly dragging it open. "You are FAR too cute~♡"

"I can't wait to get you off this worthless little rock. Back to ME. I'll have so many WAYS to take care of you~ Backups and rudimentary supports we can set up, at least until I get you something proper."

Horrifying. Deeply Horrifying. REALLY never wanted to know what terrified and horny felt like, but here we are. Distantly, I hear thunder. There's no clouds. A flash of red through the skies. Green followed by metallic purple. Oh thank fuck. Keep his attention. Just... just keep his attention.

"We'll use me as a base. Keep you in stasis. Away from all these ugly, dangerous things~! Just you and me. Perfect. BETTER. Infinite and beautiful. I'll make all sort of bodies just for you to play with. Even let you keep this one! If you want. It'll be a precious memory for us, of where you began. How we met."

A mouth on mine. I can't breathe. Can't escape the arms wrapped around me. My protests do little more then waste oxygen. I feel light headed. Come one, team Alliance! He's here! HE'S HERE!!!

"You're going to be MINE, little Hero. I finally figured it out. What I was missing. It was YOU~♡! My beloved, delicate, little thing~. I'm going to take SUCH good care of you."

"Forever~"