#if only any of Sakura’s decisions (here— lying) had consequences!

[mixelation]

One thing that really gets my goat about how Sakura is written is that she does occasionally start to do something, but the narrative shuts her down. Like this:

Sakura goes to leap into the arena to see Lee after his fight with Gaara. Kakashi shuts her down. Contrast this to the panels that immediately follow this one:

Naruto does the exact same thing and no one bats an eye!

It’s not that I think characters shouldn’t be stopped from doing what they want— it’s just that when it’s a consistent pattern it makes reading about the character really frustrating. When Haku traps Sasuke in his mirror prison thing, Sakura hurls a kunai to help… and Kakashi tells her to guard Tazuna. She does this obediently for the rest of the fight, INCLUDING when she literally thinks Sasuke is dead (Tazuna has to offer to go to Sasuke with her to get her to move). Sakura’s willingness to do this is actually an interesting character trait, but because it’s couched in this weird lack of agency, it makes her seem complacent and cowardly, especially when the take away of a lot of fights seems to be “try no matter what.”

Here’s another example: in the first part of the chunin exam, they’re all told they can pick to answer a final question and risk being banned from promotion, OR they can back out now and take the exam again later. If Sakura were alone, she’d take the question because she’s confident in her abilities.

However, she starts to raise her hand to back out because she wants to protect Naruto.

She backs off when Naruto gives a speech about never giving up, even though her making them all back out is arguably the more mature choice (why would you drag a teammate along on a mission you know they’ll fail?). She also tries to pull them out of the prelim tournament because Sasuke needs urgent medical attention, and he shuts her down AGAIN. Like, looking at this with the wisdom of an adult, Sakura was definitely in the right there.

To be clear, I don’t mind Sakura being a cautious killjoy to Naruto’s “Believe it!” Shonen protag energy. It’s just that whenever she tries to exercise that caution, it gets shut down and that makes it seem like a negative trait to have. (Also: contrast this to Shikamaru being REWARDED for exercising caution and knowing when to back out). I’m not even arguing that the scenes I cited need to be changed, because they do character work for Naruto and Sasuke. I’m just saying that Sakura could have gotten a few more scenes where her choices were plot relevant, and she’d be a more fleshed out character.

[an-ambivalent]

Wrongly Convicted

This is my late post for day 2 for MadaSaku weekend hosted by @madasakuweek​

Pairings: Madara & Sakura 

Prompts: Yandere AU & “you belong to me.” 

Word Count: 1.6K 

Warnings: As this contains yandere themes, this work contains behaviours and actions that can be triggering and uncomfortable to read. Specifically, manipulating behaviour, death, and brief mentions of other dark themes. Read at your own risk. Lastly, I do not condone this behaviour. 

If there are any other trigger warnings you think needs to be included, please let me know and I will change it. Also, fair warning, I’ve never written for MadaSaku before, and I usually don’t write character x character pairings so this might be kinda shitty? 

Synopsis: For eons, souls who end up in the Bad Place get tortured for eternity through the classic old-fashioned ways: being burned, having tiny spiders crawl out of their eyes, maggots ingesting their internal organs, and so on. Madara, the devil who reigns at the top of the hierarchy of the Bad Place, decided to try a new way to torture few subject souls who end up in the Bad Place. His plan was to pose a facade of the Bad Place as the Good Place and let the foolish humans believe they had ended up in what they believed to be heaven, and then proceeding to torture them emotionally for the next one thousand years. What he did not expect was that one of his so foolish subjects had been placed in the Bad Place accidentally, and for her goodness to sweep him off his feet. 

This work is inspired from the show The Good Place. 

Soft jade hue eyes stared into a pair of onyx eyes, that offered a false sense of comfort and reassurance, and scrutinized her with a certain inkling, promising to deliver her personalised version of hell. 

“Sakura Haruno,” he voiced louder than necessary, as he flicked through her file. As he did so, Sakura shifted nervously in her seat and gave him a strained smile. 

“My name is Madara Uchiha, I’m your neighbourhood creator. Congratulations for being one of the saints on Earth, you’ve ended up in the Good Place,” Madara said, grinning at her. 

Sakura took a few moments to ponder over the implication of his words while she examined him. Her gaze lingered on his canine teeth that were visible due to his wide grin; they appeared to be larger than what one would imagine on a heavenly being -- almost as if they were fangs and their purpose was to devour living beings. She felt goosebumps rise at the nape of her neck for a strange reason. 

It suddenly dawned upon Sakura that she was in an unknown place, in front of an unknown being. So, she chose her words carefully, and opted to just question, rather than respond. 

“The Good Place?” 

“It’s where those who were good during their time on Earth end up. See, there’s a point system; each action of yours has a consequence. By the end of your time, if you get enough positive points you end up here, in the Good Place. If not, then you know you go to the bad place.” A pause, as Madara waited for Sakura to digest his explanation. 

Sakura reflected on his words carefully, and realised that it did make sense. She never leaned strongly towards one religion’s belief, and as far as afterlife shenanigans went, she did not think about them often either. Sure, there was that once in a while curiousity of life after death, heaven vs hell, or just death itself being the ultimate end, but nothing more. She tended to focus in the present, and made decisions that aligned with her values. She had studied and worked hard to become a doctor because she wanted to save lives and help others as much as she could. She did have her mean moments, but overall, she knew she was a nice enough person who cared genuinely. So it was not that surprising she did end up in this Good Place. 

She nodded to signal Madara to continue with what he was going to say. 

“Do you remember how you died?” 

“I recall the events briefly, but not much of it. Can you tell me?” That was a lie; she did recall, but she simply wanted to make sure.

Madara shrugged before he opened up her file to enlighten her. 

“You were bitten by a Sydney funnel-web spider during your sleep, and since they couldn’t you get you to the hospital in time, you died,” he stated. 

“Ah, I recall that,” Sakura replied, while in fact she did not recall that. She practically lived in the hospital, so how they did not get her to the hospital in the time was baffling. More so, that a spider was written to be the cause of her death, when spiders were not a threat in the area she had resided in. 

“Yes, it’s a shame since you were so close to finally closing in on the deal for that $1 million house, and having a breakthrough in your real estate agent career,” Madara said in pity. 

“It is,” Sakura agreed. The temptation for her eyebrow to twitch was strong, but she held back whatever expressions she wanted to make out of annoyance. Sakura was a doctor, one who worked in public services and volunteered more than what her body could handle at times; she was not a lying real estate agent who thieved people off their money, and each other, more than what they were worth. 

And that was the first time Sakura realised that she had been mistaken for someone else who shared her same name, and she was in fact not, in the Good Place. 

                                                           ****

So far in regards to his experiment, Madara was having the time of his life. Posing the Bad Place as the Good Place, and leading his experimental human subjects to believe they were in heaven, when in fact, everything was going wrong for them which tormented and agonised them, was incredibly entertaining for him to experience. The distressful expressions, the anxiety and stress they radiated off as their mental health eventually deteriorated, it left a delicious taste of human misery lingering in his mouth. 

Everything was going smoothly, except there was one enigma: Sakura Haruno. 

Madara had taken extra caution to cultivate an environment that would lead the deceased humans to believe they were in their own heaven, but it would hold elements of things they absolutely despised and feared. 

From Sakura’s profile, the real estate agent, she was claustrophobic, loathed reading and feared needles. So, he had made sure that in her dream small home, the rooms in the house would have less space -- almost with a suffocating feeling to it, by having many rows of shelves that held books. And not just any books, medical books to remind her of her failure of not becoming a doctor like her parents wanted her to be, and then they had ridiculed her for failures by cutting all ties with her. There were various sizes of needles displayed as a decorative piece across the walls of her living room.

Every time he visited her, he expected her to be breaking out in sweat, and feel the sensation of her nerves knotting her stomach and feeding on it, and relishing in whatever emotional turmoil she would be experiencing. Instead of that expected outcome, he was always greeted with the sight of the doctor Sakura grinning at him in genuine joy, and raving about all the medical books that surrounded her home. She would welcome him warmly and happily, with a little joyful jump in her step, while passionately ranting about new things she learned, and how it fit in with the knowledge she already had. And unlike the other humans, she always went out of her way to give him a sincere welcome that was not accompanied by a fake smile which concealed her true emotions. Whatever he did to try and make her miserable in regards to the information on her profile, it seemed to have the opposite effect. It was concerning for him because that was not supposed to happen; she was supposed to be suffering and beginning to lose her sanity, not greet him in excitement and thank him, and leave him feeling flustered due to her gratitude. 

It was not long before Madara figured that something was wrong with the Sakura Haruno in his grasp. So, in order to appease his curiosity about her, and figure out how he could make her miserable, he began to spend more time with her, and watch her. 

He wasn’t the only one. 

On the days and nights, and the times in between, when Madara watched Sakura, he learned many things about her. One, she was opposite to what her personality was described as on her profile. Instead of being self-centred and greedy of her possessions, she was selfless and giving. She, unfortunately, reached out to the other suffering humans and listened to them, cared for them, and made them feel better. He learned that she was opposing him by lessening their suffering, instead of letting it worsen which was the purpose when someone ended up in the Bad Place. Second, rather than feeling uncomfortable with the little space in her home and being bothered by the needles and the books, she found comfort in them -- she found comfort in the home provided for her, which was not how it was meant to be. Third, he realised he wasn’t the only one who watched her. 

After enough observation, it did not take a genius to realise that the Sakura he had come to claim as his soul to torture, was in fact the wrong Sakura. The one he was given, evidently belonged to the Good Place, because there was no chance that someone with her personality would end up as his. She was simply too pure, too beautiful, too perfect -- any filth from the Bad Place could easily taint her. 

Madara was the only one who could protect her. And so, he did just that. 

One of his other assigned humans had been a harassor. Each time a woman showed him an ounce of kindness, he would take that as a welcoming sign. Given the support he had received from his angel Sakura, it was no surprise he repeated his shitty behaviour. He had broken into her home in the middle of the night, except, instead of getting the chance to do something to Sakura, he was greeted by Madara. Instead of his usual appearance which consisted of shorter hair, more humane features, and in a tux that made him look -- well not the devil that he was to not scare humans, he had unleashed his authentic demon. His hair was messy and long, making him look bigger and more intimidating; his horns that sprouted out his head were visible and black. His eyes glistened a dangerous crimson in the darkness of the night. The last thing that the guy saw before he his inevitable demise, were Madara’s long claws that swiped down at him, and scooped out his soul from his body. 

As Madara clutched the struggling and pathetic soul of the harassor in his hands tightly, he glanced back to see Sakura staring at him with wide eyes etched with fear, and trembling and gripping her sheets tightly. She was covering her mouth with her hand, feeling horrified due to the scene she had just witnessed, and how easily Madara had just killed someone. 

He turned to her fully, and stared at her with a possessive gaze. 

“You belong to me,” Madara voiced, as he loomed over her. “I won’t let anyone else hurt what belongs to me.” 

[dijayeah]

Title: Private Thoughts

Description: She was always there, from the very beginning and every step of the way even as she became one of his closest advisors, but she wasn't just his advisor, no, to him she was so much more. She was his only problem, one that was buried deep within the privacy of his thoughts. A NaruSaku oneshot, that is a gift for peaches-jpg!

Warnings: NSFW/18+:  Explicit/graphic language — reader discretion is advised! Word Count: ~ 4000 words (~15 mins of pure, shameless smut ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ –) AO3: read here 

FF.NET:  read here

Private Thoughts

She was always there, from the very beginning and every step of the way even as she became one of his closest advisors, but she wasn’t just his advisor, no, to him she was so much more.

She was his only problem, one that was buried deep within the privacy of his thoughts.

 X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

Inspired by: DSF - Private Thoughts (Love Mix)

X

I'll always, always think of you

X

 Scrolls were messily splayed all over his wooden desk, piles of paperwork waiting to be approved and sent off in a few days’ time. The thought itself nearly made Naruto groan in irritation as his blue eyes skeptically inspected the contents of each document that reached his fingers.

The whole ordeal was tiresome and as Shikamaru would say troublesome to say the least.

His vision blurred, his face tired and weary as he tried his best to lessen the pile of documents on his desk, paper after paper went through his long fingers, and sometimes he found himself losing the count. Dull expression was etched into his normally cheerful and bright looking features, his brows knitted as he used one of his hands to rub the side of his face.

If someone would’ve told Naruto five or ten years ago that this is what it was like to be a Hokage he would’ve never believed it. But it was the truth and he got to experience it first-hand.

His reality nowadays was boring and repetitive, in peaceful times it seemed like his only duty as Hokage consisted of the endless paperwork that he was working on throughout the week.

Paperwork never came home with him and most of the time he stayed at the Hokage tower trying to pull an all-nighter just to finish his work before the deadlines and sometimes in hopes of forgetting her presence.

However, most of the times that wasn’t the case. Her presence was hard to ignore, making him realize he hasn’t learned anything in all those years that had passed between the two of them. It was his fault really; she was never the one to blame.

Just as she was never his to have.

He willingly gave her away to the man that broke her heart a handful t of times, and that was probably one thing Naruto would never forgive Sasuke. Naruto could forgive a lot of things, as he always tried to understand other people’s feelings and their reasoning when it came to their actions, even when it came to Sasuke himself.

But when it came to her, he couldn’t. He refused.

Sometimes he felt robbed. He felt robbed of the opportunity that he himself refused, but he knew that if he would’ve accepted that disingenuous confession back then she would’ve been the one to feel robbed.

So, he rejected her.

Sometimes he wondered if it would’ve worked out for him. Sometimes he wondered if they really could’ve been happy. Sometimes he wondered if back then, there was a at least drop of sincerity to her words.

He could’ve accepted her false confession, went along with it pretending not to see her true colors and feelings.

Maybe he could’ve been happy.

But for what Naruto knew it took two people in a relationship to feel happy, and maybe that’s why in the end he went with Hinata, because she was there to fill in that deep hole he had in his chest.

She was there when he was desperate. However, Naruto wasn’t happy and that was completely his own fault.

Sure, he had a loving family, kids that were making him proud every single day and a wife that was more than just kind and caring.

But every time he let his mind wander it always brought him back to her. At first, he thought Sakura was just a childhood crush, but it changed quickly as his feelings blossomed into something more, something stronger.

Maybe it was her ever changing attitude, her fiery temper or maybe the raw strength that gave her the power to crush mountains with her bare hands with barely any effort.

She was a thrilling woman and Sasuke was a lucky bastard, and for what Naruto could tell Sasuke did not deserve the green-eyed woman, not even one inch.

It also didn’t help that she was one of his closest advisors when it came to the political side of things. Whenever she wasn’t busy at the hospital, she would always make sure to come in, her sharp mind and dainty hands helping him here and there, pointing out his mistakes and lack of sleep.

Always so observant and oblivious at the same time.

What didn’t help even more was the way she would sit near his desk, brows furrowed, tongue brushing over her bottom lip in concentration, innocently, completely unaware of everything that went on around her, unaware of the hunger in his gaze.

It pissed him off, it really did, she was like a sour candy he couldn’t have, and even if he could, he probably couldn’t swallow it to its fullest potential.

After all beliefs like this did little to ease Naruto’s mind, as every time he closed his eyes, he had just one image, and that image consisted of flashes of hot pink and vivid green.

In his private thoughts she was his only problem, and that problem made his heart ache more than a feeling of strong sake burning his throat in a fiery path.

He swallowed the bitterness.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

Inside of my private thoughts

X

Empty cups of coffee littered his desk, stains of dark liquid lingered on some of the scrolls he had lying around. His face was pressed against the desk, raw cheek against the cold, smooth surface of the table, ocean-blue eyes closed in an attempt to rest.

His break didn’t last long when he heard the door to his office open and he refused to spare his attention to whoever that came in to disturb him at this very moment. Soft steps reached his desk as they echoed throughout the half-empty space, but he refused to open his eyes. Whoever it was, couldn’t they just leave him alone for five fucking minutes?

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, long fingers digging into his arm, nudging him softly as he opened his eyes almost unwillingly.

His eyes were unfocused, barely catching the blurry reflection of pink and green before him.

“Ah, Naruto-kun you should really consider sleeping more these days.” He heard a soft, albeit concerned voice and his vision cleared immediately. Excitement rushed into his veins as he observed the pink haired woman that stood casually, leaning against his desk.

“You always say the same thing Sakura-chan.” He said almost absent-mindedly a small smile crept onto his features.

“I’m just looking out for you.” She smiled; plump lips framed her small white teeth. Her rose hair fell around her shoulders with a small curl around the edges, cupping the sides of her face almost lovingly in an effortless manner.

“Thank you.” His smile widened unknowingly.

“Now, now don’t thank me before you…” Naruto looked at her, a curious look etched into his face. “See this!” She exclaimed whilst grinning, as she lifted a white paper bag that hung over her hand loosely.

“What’s that?” He asked, his curiosity peaked as he scratched his chin in thought.

“Naruto, you baka.” A deep sigh erupted directly from the depths of her chest. “I’m surprised you haven’t smelled it, yet.” She smiled somewhat awkwardly looking at the blond-haired Hokage.

“It’s Ichiraku’s, they had the slow-cooked pork ramen as their dish of the day.” She waved the paper bag in front of his face. “So, I bought it as a takeaway.” Sakura brought her face closer to his, a kind smile adorned her face, her big eyes crinkled slightly.

He fought a blush that was threatening to creep directly onto his features, his wild, ocean blue eyes darkened slightly as they fell onto her lips. He almost shook his head trying shake off the tempting image, his futile attempt at discarding it from his mind completely.

He wanted nothing more but to reach out for her face and press his lips against hers, roughly. He wanted to ravish the rose haired woman directly onto his office desk, consequences be damned.

But she was a respectable wife, his best friend’s wife and he was a married man with a reputation as Hokage.

So, he couldn’t, not now, not ever.

He swallowed closing his eyes for a second.

“Why are you here?” He asked instead, a hint of hostility to his tone.

“To help you, of course.” She rolled her eyes. “Hokage-sama.” She turned her back, placing the white paper bag onto his desk, her voice mocking and almost bratty.

“So, eat up before I take it away.” She scolded instead.

He sighed and nodded in return.

And so, she did the things that she came in for. She helped him like always, without any complaints, just a concentrated look on her face and bitten lips that looked savory and sweet at the same time.

He almost felt guilty thinking about her this way, but he couldn’t help himself, after all she will always be buried within the privacy of his own thoughts.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

I can imagine you

X

“Lord Hokage.” The anbu guards kneeled in his office, moonlight fell over his silhouette through the large window that was part of his office space. He looked at the bright city, various lights and lanterns littered the horizon brightly, nearly blocking the starry sky.

“You don’t have to keep guard on me tonight.” He said, his gaze piercing and almost dark as he looked over his shoulder.

“I have important matters to deal with tonight and I don’t need you guarding me all night, you are relieved from your duties until five a.m sharp.” He said with a tone of finality, leaving no room to breach the topic further. He knew his own anbu wouldn’t question his decisions, after all he was the Hokage.

“Hai, Hokage-sama.” Said one of the captains from the elite force.

“Dismissed.” He said waving them off.

Once he felt their presence disappearing completely, he made the hand signs for the sound-proofing jutsu, his hand movements quick and precise.

“Finally.” He murmured in relief. “Now there’s only one problem I’m left to deal with.” He said to himself, his voice dark and heavy, a small smirk full of anticipation curled at the edge of his lips.

 X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

Touching my private parts  With just the thought of you

X

 He went through another, painfully familiar set of hand signs and concentrated, closing his eyes for a brief moment. A kage bunshin appeared.

Perhaps it was the alcohol or maybe even the fatigue of working endless days and nights at the Hokage tower trying to meet the deadlines, but he couldn’t help himself, his eyelids fell heavy with desire, desire for the woman he wanted the most.

He replayed the familiar scene that he encountered during the day, imagining the brightness of her eyes, the deep shade of pink that was her hair. The lithe curves on her body, that were covered by an annoying piece of fabric. A piece of fabric that had the Uchiha clan symbol etched onto it and he wished he could burn it away from existence using his own eyes.

A puff of smoke dissipated behind him and he felt soft hands snaking around his waist, soft, curvy body pressed flush against his back and he nearly groaned feeling her so close to him.

“Sakura…” He rasped darkly, feeling one of her hands slide down his crotch. “Mmm?” Her sultry voice reverberated directly through the entirety of his body, causing his breath to hitch, as a small tinge of heat pulsed and coiled at the very bottom of his stomach.

“Touch me.” He commanded his voice laced with darkness that conquered the night itself. “As you say, Hokage-sama.” She used his title mockingly and that only caused further flames within his body.

He burned with need, his eyes the color of aquamarine waters.

Her hand dipped under the waistband of his pants effortlessly as if she had done this countless of times already and he growled lowly when she cupped the increasing bulge that hid beneath his pants and boxers.

“So hard already, and I’ve barely touched you, Hokage-sama.” She mocked him again, her voice even lower as it ghosted past the tips of his ears.

“Fuck I-“ He hissed with a silent curse when her hand dipped under his boxers, her long fingers wrapped around his cock and she gave him a few, painfully long strokes.

“Do you want me to do anything else?” She asked coyly and he could feel her smiling behind him, her hand never stopped, the painfully slow rhythm always kept him aware of her movements.

“I want to fuck you.” He hissed flipping them over, the lower part of her back dipped into the edge of his desk roughly.

“Then do it.” She encouraged him, a sultry look in her eternally glowing, emerald eyes. “If you can, that is.” She teased him, the tip of her tongue brushing past her bottom lip distractively.

 X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

I can't help but touch myself  That's why I want you so bad

X

 “You are not going anywhere this time.” He growled aggressively against her neck, his short, blond hair tickling her exposed skin.

“Hmm.” She mused thoughtfully, feeling his teeth against her skin, her hand still stroking his length with an increasing speed. “Not afraid Hinata-chan is going to find out?” she smirked darkly feeling his teeth digging deeper into her skin, leaving a fresh set of marks. A small moan escaped from her bruised throat.

“No.” He rasped against her skin, his breath leaving goose-bumps all over. “However, you are going to find out what it’s like getting fucked by a Hokage.” He said with a finality as she hissed under his rough tone.

“Now shut up and let me fuck you, Haruno.” He refused to call her by her newly acquired surname, no, in fact he preferred the old one.

She gasped when he pressed her flat against the table, one of his hands grabbing her by the pink, short tresses as she looked into his blue midnight eyes, her own eyes full of surprise. Her hand lost the contact with his pulsing length and she nearly growled in irritation.

He pressed his lips roughly against hers, imagining and prolonging the scene that happened previously in his office today. Her mouth obediently molded against his, lips soft and plump as he grasped her tongue with his own.

It almost felt like a real thing. Almost.

He moved away for a second, admiring the image right in front of his eyes, she looked at him with lust-induced eyes, short, pink hair disheveled and messy against the smooth surface of his desk, her body splayed elegantly amongst the pile of urgent documents that he had no time to deal with.

Her form illuminated by the bright lights that shone through his ceiling high windows, reaching even the highest point of the city – Hokage tower. Her lips were wet and swollen as her chest was raising up and down erratically.

“Kami, you have no business looking like this.” He whispered into the night, his tone less dark. “Do you like tempting married men?” He asked, his voice, once again filled with blackness to the brim.

She moaned explicitly in response.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

My love... Yeah Can't get my mind off you  I think I might be obsessed  The very thought of you  Makes me wanna get undressed

X

Truth to be told Naruto was obsessed with the pink haired woman to the very point where he would sleep calmly near his wife at night, his dreams filled with naughty images of the former woman.

He would feel guilty at times, but his guilt quickly vanished away with the blue ocean tides when laid down onto his desk in her full glory, spread out and whimpering under his ministrations.

His hands worked quickly, discarding off the useless fabric that hung around her skin annoyingly. His hands cupped her exposed mounds, feeling the soft flesh beneath his fingertips, rosy nipples hard against his skin.

He squeezed almost roughly, and his cock jumped with anticipation at the sensation when she hissed in pleasure, teeth sinking into her bottom lip deliciously.

Her hand dipped into his golden hair, fingers digging into his scalp as she pressed him closer to her body almost desperately.

“Touch me!” she cried out pushing his face directly into her chest and almost sighed in relief when she felt a hot appendage curling around her rosy nipple. “Fuck, Sakura.” He grunted, his hot mouth twirling against the hard pebble of skin as he used his other hand to feel the curves of her body, exploring her almost carefully, even as his touch held a hint of possessiveness to it.

“I want you inside of me.” Her words dissipated into the darkness of the room as he yanked down her pants, pushing them away completely, his tongue never leaving her abused chest. “Kami, don’t say things like that so easily.” He warned her with a final growl as he discarded off the last piece of fabric on her body.

“Please...” Her breath caught into her throat as he tugged her legs closer to him, his own body now positioned in between her legs. He pulled the waistband of his pants and boxers all at once with one swift movement, revealing a hard, long and thick member that pulsed with continuous excitement.

His fingers touched her heat, playful, light touches up and down as she moaned again and again, writhing under his touches, her back arched, her head pushed back, lips forming an ‘o’ as her heels digged into his back almost painfully. He coaxed her to submit, his fingers pressing deeper against the most secret part of her places.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

I wanna feel your heart and soul  Inside of me  Let's make a deal  You roll, I lick  And we can go flying into ecstasy

X

He didn’t wait for her to say anything else as he spread her legs out completely, ravishing the image in front of his eyes. The ocean blue eyes darkened significantly, a glimmer of want and lust shined through them almost transparently.

He grasped his cock with one hand, using the other one to pin her wrists at the end of the table, behind her head with an iron grip. She didn’t mind, only encouraging him with a growl of her own.

He positioned his length at her entrance and swiftly pushed in, a silent curse fell from his lips, feeling her twitch against his cock. She was wet, burning hot and tight, at least that’s how he imagined her to be.

He didn’t wait for her to adjust, afraid that he might lose his control of the clone that he so carefully crafted in the darkest depths of his mind. She was his only private pleasure, one that he wasn’t willing to give away or share.

He pushed in almost relentlessly, rapid rhythm he set for himself. There was almost a hint of desperation to his movements as his muscles spasmed against her in the moments of heat and desire.

He was already breathless as it was, but her body was igniting all sorts of flames within his body and his lungs felt like they were on fire.

He grabbed her by the buttocks, rough fingertips pressing into the plum flesh, letting him lose his hold over her dainty wrists.

She moaned and cried under him, the sounds a complete bliss to his ears as her hands pushed him closer to her. His face was buried into the crook of her abused neck, her short locks tickled the side of his marked cheek as he struggled to inhale and keep his control over the clone beneath him.

“Ah, fuck…” silent curses fell out of his mouth one after another as he rammed in continuously, her heat surging him to stay in longer, crawling and sucking him in. “Sakura…” he whispered into her ear as he bit her earlobe aggressively.

His bloodstream was filled with her, just as much as his office space was filled with her gasps and pleads to go faster. He was intoxicated by this forsaken woman that just refused to leave his mind.

His throat grew even more tight at the sensation that coiled at the tip of his length.

And he did.

The delirious sensation finally kicked in, the feeling full of ecstasy as his seed spilled into her and she gladly and greedily swallowed it with her body. His veins full of that chemical feeling one would call love.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that.” He closed his eyes, almost refusing to see anymore of her. His lips fell over hers roughly, with passion, one last time before she dissipated completely just like most of his daydreams. He lost the control and she was his price.

His face was full of tenderness that he only dared to show in front of her, however his eyes were dull and empty, his exhaustion taking a toll on him completely.

It didn’t take too long for him to start feeling empty, because the Sakura he wanted existed only in the dark corners of his private thoughts. His mood sunk low, followed by a dull ache of longing.

He shook his head chasing the heavy thoughts away.

And maybe in a way it was bittersweet.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

I wanna be with you  In spite of what my heart says  I guess I want you too bad

X

“Naruto-kun, are you alright?” He heard Hinata’s soft voice the following morning after he left his office space. His eyes tired, but his body was at ease.

“Yeah, why are you asking, Hinata-chan?” He answered her just as softly, his expression somewhere in between puzzled and exhausted.

“The anbu you sent off last night came by our house saying Hokage dismissed them, so they insisted to guard me and the kids instead.” A tinge of confusion was etched into her gentle features, she looked at him questioningly, pale, violet eyes narrowing.

“Ah, I sent them off since I had to meet up with Sasuke last night, he came back with the report.” Naruto said, scratching the back of his head almost uncomfortably, it was the best excuse he could come up with and it always worked. However, a look of uncertainty danced across his face just for a few moments, he was never a good liar.

A glint of suspicion flashed through the dark-haired woman’s eyes before she smiled at him, somewhat feeling more at ease.

“Oh, Sakura-chan must be really happy since Sasuke-kun is finally home for once!” She still held the kind smile she had on her face, looking at her husband form underneath due to their difference in height. Naruto nearly shivered at the mention of her name, the small pang of guilt he felt washing over him in a tide.

“Yeah, very.” His voice a mere whisper as the words came out from his lips. He smiled back, almost bitterly so, his mind tucking away the painful grudges, while he kept walking further down the corridor of their home.

He would always envy the raven-haired man who won her heart from the beginning, without any effort, without even trying.

Maybe that’s why Naruto had always loved Sakura, because even though his love would always remain one-sided, he could not help but fall in love with the rose haired woman over and over again.

She was one of a kind and Sasuke was a lucky bastard after all.

X

PRIVATE THOUGHTS

I'll always, always think of you

X

[pain-somnia]

ssm19 day 22

SasuSaku Month 2k19 Day 22: Early Mornings Rating: M (hardhardhard M, y’all have been warned) Disclaimer Day’s Notes: hello hello everyone! I made this as a continuation to last year’s fic for “Body Talk” which was a birthday present for @roraewrites 💕

Happy Birthday Ro! I hope you enjoy it a lot. This sequel is much longer than the “Body Talk” fic ‘cause I gotta make everyone work for that smut. Remember that ShiItaIzu and TenKarin show up in this fic.

Just Stay

Usually her morning routine consisted of her waking up before her roommates and making herself tea. She would sit outside on their veranda wrapped up in one of her oversized cardigans and get some reading done before Karin strolled out of her bedroom whining about hunger pains and needing nourishment.

Karin took over the cleaning of the apartment as long as Sakura or Tenten did the cooking. It worked out for the two of them considering Karin was anal about cleanliness but would burn pots attempting to boil water.

Tenten can deal with that today.

Sakura was too comfortable to move. The usual chill she felt in the mornings was gone and her body was much more relaxed than it had been in weeks.

I’m not getting up today. It’s Saturday anyway and I don’t have work until...tomorrow. Good.

Sakura snuggled into her pillow and sighed. She needed to catch up on sleep anyway. She was slipping back to sleep when an arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back against a hard body.

She instantly tensed up and her eyes opened up wide. Distantly she could hear the sound of dogs barking.

This isn’t my bed!

Sakura shifted slightly trying to sneak out from under the arm holding her in place. A deep voice whined and a face pressed into the junction of her neck and shoulder. The hand of the arm around her snuck under her top.

Sakura stared down at the baggy black shirt she was wearing. The front of the shirt had the name of a band she vaguely knew.

This isn’t my shirt!

A subtle shift of her legs had her face heating up. She was lacking a pair of undergarments and with the way the owner of the arm had slid the shirt up she was completely exposed from the waist down.

A little late to be embarrassed about that Sakura!

She mentally chastised herself and settled back against the body that was holding her. Now that she was more awake she recalled how she got herself into her current situation.

The shirt she was wearing belonged to her neighbor. It was the shirt he was wearing earlier that morning when she ran into him at the laundry center.

She remembered being tired afterward and too comfortable lying back with her head pressed to his pillows. She could have gotten up and grabbed something from her basket but didn’t want to move. Sasuke had pulled his shorts back on and grabbed the shirt he had discarded from the side of his bed and pulled it over her head and helped her into it.

I should leave now...right?

Sakura’s lips twisted to one side and she contemplated her next move. She didn’t want to leave but she wasn’t sure if she would be overstaying her welcome if she stuck around and waited for him to wake up.

This is what happens when I do shit I’ve never done before.

Sakura turned her face into the pillow under her head and groaned. It was a little late to think of the consequences especially when she had enjoyed herself so much the night before.

Heat traveled up her face as she recalled the feeling of his hair brushing against her inner thighs and the way he took her little bundle of nerves between his lips. After they had snuck into his room there was a repeat performance in which he made sure she was nice and slick.

Having no experience in hookup culture, Sakura wasn’t sure if she should stay until Sasuke woke up or disappear before he did. Waiting seemed like the best decision, the one that would benefit her the most. But she wondered if she would seem too forward if she kept lying in his bed.

I’m sure he wouldn’t mind another...round.

Sakura buried her face in her hands. She was making herself too at home in her neighbor’s bed. Gingerly, she pried Sasuke’s arm off of her and scooted to the edge of the bed. Luckily the apartment was carpeted and she wasn’t shocked by the potential cold before she could slip her feet into her slippers. Sakura shuffled over to her basket of laundry and slipped on a pair of skivvies and pajama boxer shorts. Feeling a bit chilly in the air conditioned apartment, Sakura snagged the hoodie on Sasuke’s desk chair and slipped into it as well.

Closing the door behind her, Sakura made her way over to the bathroom. The apartment had almost the same set up that hers had except it had an extra bedroom. She splashed water on her face and used the toilet. After she washed her hands she was unable to find a hand towel so she shook them to dry. The bathroom was clean but there was not much in it. The hallway bathroom in her own apartment was just for her because Tenten and Karin had an ensuite in the master bedroom and she had all of her toiletries and a shelf full of her makeup. Her bathroom was an extension of her own room so it felt weird sitting in a bathroom that luckily at least had toilet paper and hand soap to use.

“So you were the one making all that noise,” Sakura whispered to Shiro, who was waiting right outside the bathroom when she exited. “Lemme guess, you’re hungry?”

Shiro yipped and followed at her heels as she led him to the kitchen where she assumed she would find something for him to eat and something to drink for herself. Shiro clung to her, rubbing his head against her arm as she tried to tip kibble into his bowl. A bigger dog came up behind her and whined at the empty red bowl next to Shiro’s and she filled it up as well.

Playing it safe, Sakura ignored the bottles of juice and grabbed the pitcher of filtered water from the fridge. Sasuke obviously had roommates and she didn’t want to mess with anything that could have belonged to a specific person. Pouring herself a glass, she leaned back against the kitchen counter and enjoyed the chill of the water as it slid down her throat.

It was still pretty early in the morning for Karin or Tenten, so Sakura was sure she neither would be looking for her and even if they were they would assume she went out for a jog.

I doubt they would have any energy to be up anyway. Sakura shivered recalling the excitement Karin had about a bag from her favorite sex shop. No doubt the two of them had broken in whatever toy Karin had brought home and spent the whole night enjoying it to the fullest.

Not that Sakura was one to judge considering how she had spent her night. Her cheeks burned as she thought about how Sasuke had gripped the back of her head when she sucked her cheeks in around the head of his cock and teased the slit with the tip of her tongue.

Wonder how he’d feel about that kind of wake up call? Sakura giggled inwardly, her insecurity upon waking up dissipating with the reminder of how he felt below her, bucking his hips as he chased his orgasm. The grip he had on her hips had left a bruise but she kind of liked the tinge of pain from when she poked at it.

Setting her glass down in the sink, Sakura took a deep breath and matched her way across the apartment back to Sasuke’s room. She was only a few feet away when the door to the bedroom next to Sasuke’s opened up.

“Oh, shit!” A gangly boy with messy brown hair exclaimed upon seeing her. “You’re still here.”

Warmth flooded her cheeks again. Of course someone had heard them going at it! Sakura shifted on the balls of her feet, feeling severely under dressed as the boy continued to gawk at her.

“Can you not stare at me like that? It’s creepy.”

“What? Ah, sorry!” The boy looked down at the floor and scratched the back of his head. “I just didn’t expect you to still be here when I woke up.”

The heat left her body at his words. She had been so caught up in her own daydreams that she let herself believe that what she wanted was also what Sasuke did. Clearly from his friend’s reaction to her presence, she had overstayed her welcome.

He probably thought I would see myself out if he kept sleeping.

“I was just on my way out.”

Quickly, Sakura gathered her basket from Sasuke’s room, sparing him a single glance. He was still asleep, lying on his stomach. He hadn’t woken up when she moved or now that his roommate was talking to her outside.

I expected too much, huh?

“I can pass on a message if you—“

“Don’t bother,” Sakura cut off his roommate and left the apartment, rushing up the stairs to her own like she should have earlier that morning.

.

.

.

Groping around with his right hand, Sasuke blindly felt around for the missing warmth of a body next to him. A moment later, something small and furry had made its way into his outstretched arm and licked the side of his face. Lifting his head, he blinked the sleep out of his eyes and realized that Shiro had cuddled up with him.

Did I have an elaborate wet dream?

Sasuke sat up and pulled a knee to his chest. He was sure that he had brought Sakura home the night before. Scanning the room, he looked for anything out of place.

Where’s my hoodie?

His hand-me-down police academy hoodie that Shisui had given him was gone and from under his desk he could see a scrap of fabric with a familiar polka dot print.

So that’s where I threw those...maybe she went to the bathroom or something…?

Rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm, Sasuke shuffled out of his room. He went to knock on the bathroom door but the light was off inside. He twisted the doorknob and opened it a crack. No one was inside.

Shuffling down the hall, Shiro at his heels, Sasuke didn’t find her in the living room either. He did find Kiba lounging on the couch and eating a bowl of cereal. A bowl of Sasuke’s cereal.

“Dude, what the fuck.”

“I ran out. You’re also out. I’ll buy you another box.”

Sasuke ran a hand through his messy hair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. She wasn’t in the apartment. Did Sakura just...leave? She didn’t seem the type to hit it and quit it but perhaps he was wrong.

“By the way,” Kiba mumbled through a bite of cereal before swallowing, “that chick left already. I asked if she wanted me to tell you anything but she just said not to bother.”

Sasuke walked over to the couch and sank into the couch cushions. He pulled his knees up toward his chest and wrapped his arms around them before falling sideways against Kiba.

“She used me.”

“And she stole your clothes.”

The door to the bedroom facing the living room opened up and Shino shuffled out in his slippers and his long hair falling around is shoulders.

“She would have stayed but some idiot doesn’t know how to talk to girls.”

“Are you really trying to kick me when I’m down?” Sasuke glared at him. This was exactly why he didn’t like hanging out with them, Shino especially.

“Not you. The other idiot.”

Sasuke looked up at Kiba and seethed. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t say anything!” Kiba pulled his bowl away from Sasuke so that he couldn’t knock it away. “I just told her that-that...ohhh.”

“Oh, what?”

“My bad.”

Sasuke launched himself on top of Kiba, punching him wherever he could reach. Shino intervened, hooking his arms under Sasuke’s armpits and yanking him off of Kiba.

“And you didn’t stop him?” Sasuke twisted his body in an attempt to get out of Shino’s hold.

“At first I thought I was dreaming the exchange but then I remembered that you had woken me up with how loud you were being.”

“We weren’t loud.”

“Your headboard knocked right against the wall. I thought someone had broken into the apartment.” Shino shivered and shook his head. “She’s not a screamer but when it’s three in the morning and everything is quiet, you can hear her moaning really clearly. Next time play some music or something.”

“It was so early in the morning too, you ass.” Kiba grabbed one of the throw pillows and swung it at his face. Sasuke grabbed the couch cushion from underneath him and threw it at Kiba, immediately sitting on top of it and sandwiching Kiba between it and the couch.

“Sasuke, get off!”

“Fuck you.”

.

.

.

There wasn’t much he knew about her. He probably should have thought about that before tonguing her down the way he did. Or before he let her wear his favorite band shirt. It was a concert exclusive and now he wasn’t going to see it ever again.

He had expected to wake up and find her curled up in his bed, soft thighs poking out from under the oversized shirt. He expected to make her some of his favorite tea or steal some of Shino’s coffee if that was more her thing and then taste that as he snuck some kisses and secured a date before his roommates could scare her off with embarrassing stories.

Even though they lived in the same building, he had a hard time running into her again. He figured he could see her on a Monday or Wednesday morning but she never came. He tried his luck again on Tuesday and Thursday nights and still no sign of Sakura.

Sasuke tried on days he normally didn’t go to the gym in the hopes that she had switched up her workout schedule. He wasn’t a morning person, but he forced himself to wake up earlier than usual and take Shiro out for walks sooner in the day than even the dog liked.

These early mornings are going to kill me, Sasuke groaned inwardly. He was walking back up the hill to his apartment, Shiro in his arms because the lazy ass had plopped his body onto the ground and refused to move.

“No more! I can’t do it!”

Sasuke turned his head in the direction of the whining and heavy panting. At the bottom of the hill was the redhead from the free yoga class and her girlfriend with the twin buns hairstyle.

“Come on, Karin.” The brunette jogged in place and tugged on the redhead’s arms trying to urge her forward. “Just up this hill and we’re done.”

“How do you and Sakura do this everyday?” Karin whined. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and pressed her face into her hip to keep from completely doubling over. She looked ready to complain some more when she caught Sasuke’s eye. “You!”

Karin snapped straight up, complaints about no more energy and muscle pains forgotten, and stormed up the hill in his direction. She was just about to grab at him when her girlfriend wrapped her arms around her torso and lifted the tiny redhead off of the ground.

“Lemme go, Tenten!” Karin flailed in her arms, kicking her legs out in Sasuke’s direction.

“Sorry about her,” the brunette━Tenten━apologized, embracing Karin tighter. “She has a short fuse. You know what they say about short people━━”

“The closer to the ground, the closer to hell?”

“Fuck you, pretty boy!” Karin made herself heavy and slipped out of Tenten’s grip. “I’m going to punch you in the throat.”

Sasuke stuck his arm out and palmed Karin’s head, keeping her a safe distance from his body and Shiro as she flailed her arms around.

“I’m guessing this is about Sakura?” Sasuke directed his question at Tenten who was obviously the more levelheaded of the two.

“Yep!” Tenten wrapped her arms around Karin’s torso and lifted her up off of the ground again. “She should have known better than to hook up with a neighbor.”

“What’s wrong with hooking up with a neighbor?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the two of them, waiting for the response. He had his own ideas but wanted to hear it from the friends that Sakura was comfortable enough to live with.

“Well,” Tenten raised her hands as if she were weighing imaginary objects, debating with herself before finishing with, “it’s really…awkward.”

“And fucking dangerous,” Karin spat. “You could have been a serial killer.”

“But mostly awkward in this case.” Tenten patted Karin on the head in a silent plea for her to keep quiet. “Rejection and getting dumped sucks and it’s even worse when there’s a chance of running into the person that doesn’t want you everyday.”

“I see.” Sasuke looked back and forth between the kind faced brunette and the feral redhead. It would be easier to tell them the truth, explain what had actually happened. But he didn’t want Sakura to hear the explanation from her friends. “I’ve been looking for her. I need to━”

“Piss off!” Karin snatched her girlfriend’s hand and stormed pass Sasuke. She turned back around to make a rude hand gesture and stormed ahead, Tenten protesting the whole way back to their apartment.

Shiro yipped at him and panted happily, begging for attention.

“You were absolutely no help at all.”

.

.

.

She hadn’t meant to use it but it was cold and she had snatched the hoodie without thinking about it’s color or the embroidery on it. Sakura didn’t notice until she took it off to stow it away in the coat room of the yoga studio.

She had been tempted to leave it hanging on the doorknob of Sasuke’s apartment door. It would be easy to sneakily leave it there on her way down to her car. But the sweater was worn out in a very comfortable way and she liked how large it was.

She only wore it in the privacy of her apartment. Karin called the clothes she absconded with her “spoils of war” and had mentioned how it was the least that was owed to her.

She had told her that while both she and Tenten were wearing baggy shirts from a couple of her ex boyfriends while cuddling on the couch.

“And exhale,” Izumi, the instructor, called softly from her place in the front of the class.

Sakura had found the studio that had given the free class for her apartment community but had preferred to take her classes with Izumi who hadn’t been an instructor at the demo class. Izumi was a lot more fun to talk to and eventually the two of them started hanging out outside of class.

“I really want an avocado smoothie.” Izumi bounced in place excitedly as she waited for Sakura to gather her things.

The older woman had been extra bubbly lately due to finding out she was pregnant. She was going to have to switch the class she instructed soon and Sakura wanted to take as many classes as possible before the swap.

“Is that a craving or part of that diet?” Sakura teased. Izumi groaned dramatically and pulled out a journal from her canvas bag.

“I don’t know who’s worse,” she complained. “Itachi with his food monitoring or Shisui with his hovering. The baby is lentil sized right now but he’s constantly putting his hands on me whether to stroke my belly or to rub my back.”

“You’re complaining about back massages?”

“Sometimes it gets to be too much. I just wish━”

“Hm?” Sakura questioned as she pulled the hoodie on. Izumi had just stopped mid sentence.

“Where did you,” Izumi swallowed and pointed at the sweater, “get that?”

“Oh, this?” Sakura rolled her eyes as she adjusted the strap of her yoga mat on her shoulder. “It was stupid. I let some guy take me home and I ended up leaving with clothes I borrowed because I was being stupid thinking he wanted me to stay.”

“He took you home?” Izumi continued questioning.

“Yeah…” Sakura shifted on the balls of her feet, uncomfortable with the way Izumi was looking at her. “I thought about returning it, but it felt weird. I didn’t wanna run into him, you know?”

“Such a small world,” Izumi muttered before linking arms with Sakura. “Smoothies are on me today.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Izumi patted her on the arm. “Just leave it all to me.”

.

.

.

“Sasuke Uchiha!”

Sasuke sat up, pausing the game he had been playing with his brother-in-law. It was Saturday and after his shift at the vet he always visited for dinner. It was part of his weekend routine. What wasn’t part of that routine was for his sister-in-law to come bursting in through the front door of her condo shouting his name.

“What did you do?” Shisui asked, brows pulled down in confusion.

“Nothing,” Sasuke responded before a throw pillow was smacked against the back of his head. “What the hell, Izumi?”

“Why are you taking girls to your apartment, huh?” Izumi smacked him again. “Mama Mikoto didn’t let you move out so you could be acting like a little player!”

“Are you serious?” Shisui guffawed. “Sasuke got laid? Looks like Fugaku’s plan didn’t really work out. Wait, why do you know about it?”

“A girl in one of my classes was wearing that ratty old hoodie you gave him,”Izumi sniffed, tired from hitting Sasuke repeatedly with the pillow. She collapsed on the couch on the other side of Shisui.

“Wait,” Sasuke turned warily to look at Izumi, “You know Sakura?”

“Well at least you know her name,” Izumi snapped at him.

“Alright, hon,” Shisui rubbed her shoulders and tried to calm her down, “please spill all of the tea.”

“She doesn’t even have all of the facts,” Sasuke scoffed. Shaking his head he removed himself from the living room and headed to the kitchen where his older brother was preparing dinner. “Your spouses are irritating.”

“Did you use protection?” Itachi asked without looking up from chopping board.

“Of course I did.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Sasuke leaned against the sink and watched his brother make his knife cuts all even.

“Would you believe me if I said that this was all Kiba’s fault?”

“Don’t blame others, Sasuke.” Itachi dumped the onion he had been chopping into a pan on the stove and the oil cracked and sizzled. He stirred it up and then added minced garlic. “So...do you want to fix whatever happened with Izumi’s friend?”

“I’ve been trying but I haven’t been able to speak to her because I never see her around anymore,” he admitted. Sasuke had been waking up earlier than he ever did and still Sakura evaded him.

It was starting to feel as if Sakura didn’t mind Kiba’s slip up, that she had planned to leave anyway. Her friends did say that it hookups with neighbors were awkward, which could have probably meant that she had planned on never seeing him again.

The girl with the twin buns had mentioned something about rejection. Sasuke clucked his tongue and grabbed one of the julienned carrot slices. He chewed on it and thought over what the girl had said about rejection and getting dumped. And then about what Kiba said about asking if Sakura had a message and how she said not to bother with one.

Ah.

It all finally clicked into place and Sasuke no longer felt like eating. He dumped the rest of the slice into the sink and ruffled his already messy hair.

“I’m not really feeling it tonight, Itachi. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Are you sure?” Itachi turned away from the stove, concern laced in his tone. “You can wait and I’ll pack some stuff up for you and the guys. I know Hana would appreciate it if Kiba got some real food.”

“Nah. I’m sure he went out on a date tonight anyway.” Sasuke grabbed his backpack and went to the front hall to grab his shoes.

“Oh? I didn’t realize Kiba could get a date,” Itachi called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, well,” Sasuke grunted as he struggled with the heel of his Chuck Taylor’s, “one of us had to be able to.”

“You’re leaving already?” Izumi shrieked from her spot in the living room. “I’m not done talking to you!”

“Well, I’m done talking to you,” he retorted back before slamming the door.

“Rude!”

“Hon, he can’t hear you,” Shisui reminded her in a soft voice, attempting to calm her down. They had all been attempting to get pregnant for over a year and he didn’t need her stressing out. “Let’s just let Sasuke be Sasuke.”

“God, that’s what I’m actually worried about.” Izumi rolled her eyes and bowed her head forward. “Can you actually get that spot there? I got a knot.”

“Of course.”

.

.

.

Sakura immediately slammed a pillow over her head when the alarm went off, an instinct from her dorm days. Assholes were always setting of the alarm whenever they broke the microwave rule and decided that making popcorn at three in the morning was a brilliant idea. Usually it was nothing and they had made all of them march outside in whatever state of dress━or undress━they happened to be in.

She waited for whoever it was that was cooking, probably Karin, to deactivate the fire alarm in their apartment. After the alarm kept ringing and ringing, Sakura remembered that Tenten and Karin had gone to their friend Lee’s wedding in Suna.

“Oh, fuck!”

Scrambling out of bed, Sakura slipped on her fuzzy slippers. The door to her apartment had already slammed shut behind her when she realized she had forgotten her keys and the door had been set to automatically lock when it was closed.

She cursed loudly and was scolded by a mother dragging her sleepy kids down the stairs for her language.

“You should hurry out!” The woman’s husband shouted over the wailing of the fire alarm.

Sakura followed the family down the stairs and out into the garden apartment’s parking lot. There were a bunch of families huddling together, conversing with each other to try and figure out if it was an actual fire. She crossed the parking lot to where her car was parked and leaned against it. She hugged herself, feeling self conscious about having only an oversized t-shirt on. The Sasuke T-shirt.

Scanning the crowd of people, she didn’t spot him anywhere outside even though she did see the tall topknot kid and the gangly boy that Sasuke roomed with. Crouching down, Sakura used her car for support so that she wouldn’t fall onto the pavement. She didn’t want Sasuke’s friends to see her out there in nothing but the shirt she had worn for her walk of shame back to her apartment.

.It would have been nice to sit in her own car like what some of the residents were doing but she just had to forget her stupid keys. She was going to have to wait for the fire alarm to be deactivated and for someone from the fire department to tell them all it was safe to return to their homes.

If she had been smart enough to grab her keys━and her phone! She couldn’t believe she forgot her phone!━she could have been taking a small nap in her car. Sakura had barely any sleep the last few days. She had altered her schedule to keep from running into Sasuke and she had yet to get used to it. The alarm ringing had cut into the few hours she had expected to get that night.

I can’t even call maintenance about my door.

Sakura buried her face in her hands, muffling a scream of frustration.

.

.

.

Sasuke was glad the night the fire alarm went off at his apartment building that he had a shift at the animal clinic. He preferred working reception during the overnight shift because unless there was an emergency, the only humans he had to deal with were the vets and boarding staff.

Kiba had texted him about how they all had to wait outside until it was deemed safe to go back inside. Because of the time of the night that the alarm went off none of the office staff or maintenance members were around to let them know what was going on. A firetruck had even been dispatched to their garden apartment which meant the residents of the neighboring apartments were also woken up. Kiba had been lucky enough that the cat hair girl, Tamaki, had called to check on him so he and Shino just went to crash at her place.

Sighing, Sasuke adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder and locked his car. The only problem of the permit parking only lots was that he could never find a spot in front of his own building when he came home late. Usually he would head to the gym after a shift but all he wanted was a shower and to get in bed. He was still recovering from all of those early mornings waking up to try and run into Sakura.

Making his way to his apartment, Sasuke did a double take unsure about something small that he saw sitting between a set of parked cars. Two weeks of searching and it wasn’t until he wasn’t looking for her that Sakura finally appeared back in his life.

“Sakura.”

Said girl lifted her head from where it was resting on her knees and blinked slowly up at him.

Jesus Christ, was she sleeping out here?

“Sakura,” he called out to her again, waving his hand to get her to focus more on him.

“Jesus Christ, not you.” Sakura buried her head back in her arms and knees.

If he were being honest, that hurt a bit. If he were being honest.

The raccoons can get her for all I care.

But he didn’t move from where he stood. Sasuke continued to watch her as she tried to make herself as compact as possible.

I’m going to regret this.

.

.

.

The next thing she knew, Sakura was flung into the air and then scooped up and tossed over a shoulder. It all happened so quickly that her mind went blank for a moment. She didn’t know what to say━didn’t know what had just happened.

He was carrying her like a sack of potatoes. A sack of potatoes!

“Sasuke, what the hell?”

“I’m taking you to my apartment. I’m assuming you locked yourself out when you evacuated.”

“Put me down, Sasuke!”

“Nope. You were making a stupid decision.”

“Well, it was my decision to make!” Sakura squirmed against his grip, attempting to free herself even if she ended up falling on her ass.

“Your decision was going to get you mauled by raccoons.”

Sakura stopped squirming and thought for a moment. The management had posted flyers about raccoons foraging in the community bins. And some of those raccoons could get almost as big as she was.

“Can I at least be allowed to save my dignity and walk by myself?”

Gently, Sasuke lowered her to her feet. He adjusted his shirt on her so that she was properly covered. And grabbing her hand so she couldn’t run, he led her up the stairs to his apartment.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I thought that the first time,” Sasuke muttered as he pulled her in front of him and unlocked his apartment door. He caged her in his arms as he did so to hinder any escape attempts while he was preoccupied.

With a hand on the small of her back, Sasuke pushed her forward into the apartment.

“Here,” Sasuke unlocked and handed her his phone, “call maintenance and see if they’re still here or if you’re going to have to wait until the office opens at nine.”

Without even waiting for her to do it he headed into his room and retrieved a towel and a shower caddy. That explained why the bathroom had been so sparse when it came to toiletries.

“I’m going to shower.” Sasuke dumped a duvet on the couch. “You can use that. The aircon is really strong.”

The bathroom door had shut and the water started running before Sakura used his phone to call maintenance. The number was on a magnet on his fridge just like in her own apartment.

She called and called again and no one picked up. She really wished that their voicemail box came with an away message for their hours. Giving up on calling for help, Sakura locked Sasuke’s phone up like a good girl who didn’t invade the privacy of others and curled up on the couch with the duvet.

She sighed to herself and snuggled into the blanket. It smelled like the fabric softener that Sasuke used in the laundry room. 

It would be very easy to sneak away now that Sasuke was in the shower. Very easy to forget about his neighborly behavior. But the more she tried to think of sneaking into his room for a pair of sweatpants and to think of somewhere else to hide, all she could think about was Sasuke standing in his scrubs from the animal hospital under the soft glow from the lamp post outside.

So soft. So worried.

Sakura sank deeper into her blanket burrito and groaned. She was worse off than she thought.

.

.

.

Sasuke stood outside his bedroom door and peered through his wet bangs at his guest sitting on the couch. Sakura was bundled up in his duvet, looking even smaller if that was possible. Shaking his head he entered his room and pulled out boxer briefs and a pair of sweatpants to wear.

He shimmied into them quickly and headed into the living room to check on Sakura.

“Were you able to reach maintenance?”

“Nope.” Sakura stretched her arms up and out of the cocoon she had created with his blanket. “As nice as this place is, they had to be flawed somewhere.”

Sasuke sat down next to her, keeping as safe of a distance as possible so he wasn’t crowding her.

“Where are your roommates?” Sakura asked after a moment.

“They went over to Kiba’s new girlfriend’s apartment. That girl in that building on the side closer to the main street named Tamaki?”

“Oh, the one with all of the cats.”

“Exactly. How did you know that?”

“She lost one of them and we found it trying to break into our apartment after it snuck into our building.”

“Ah.”

They were back to silence. They had never truly spoken and it was the reason why the silence now was so awkward. The longest conversation they had was with their bodies.

“Do you,” Sasuke mulled over his words, “want something to drink?”

He wanted to slap his own forehead or pinch the bridge of his nose. It was something on his mind but not the thing he wanted to bring up. He had wanted to ask if she wanted to discuss what had happened between them two weeks prior.

“No. I’m okay.” Sakura snuggled into the blanket again. “You should stop with the nicey-nice act. It’s getting weird. You don’t have to worry about me overstaying my visit. I’ll leave as soon as the leasing office opens.”

“Nicey-nice?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. “It’s just an offer of a drink. And I don’t act. I do what I want because I want to.”

“Oh, I know that,” Sakura huffed. “You do what you want and don’t care about what other people want.”

“What are you even getting at? You don’t even know me,” Sasuke snapped, frustrated. “You’re the one that does what she wants. You’re the one that left.”

“You wanted me to leave!” Sakura turned to face him, cheeks flushed a vivid red. She opened her mouth but then closed it, cocking her head to the side as she observed the way Sasuke watched her.

His cheeks were dusted a pale pink and his lips were set in a tight line.

“You’re the one that left.”

“You didn’t want me to leave...did you?”

“Did I tell you to leave?” Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly. “I let you stay sleeping in my bed and let you wear my shirt when you had a perfectly good basket of clean clothes not even five feet away.”

“You wouldn’t even wake up. I thought that was ‘cause you didn’t care what I did.”

Sasuke averted his gaze and glared in the direction of the media entertainment set across from them.

“I’m not a morning person,” he admitted. “I take afternoon classes. I work third shift jobs and I was—“

He clamped up but now that he was talking Sakura didn’t want him to stop. The more words tumbled out of his mouth the more he pouted and the cuter he got. Reaching out to him, Sakura took his larger hand in her own small hand and rubbed her thumb over his.

“And you were what?” She asked him softly, leaning into him as she did so. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously but adjusted his body so that he carried her weight comfortably against him.

“Really, really comfortable. I don’t think anything could have woken me up, not even that god awful shrieking of that tiny friend of yours.”

“She’s not that tiny, we’re the same height.” Sasuke looked at her pointedly, an eyebrow raised. “Oh, shut up!”

Sakura giggled and nudged him with her shoulder. She flipped through different emotions quickly but Sasuke was grateful that she no longer seemed upset with him.

“I’m sure I could have woken you up.” Sakura shrugged and gave him a coy smile. “I actually had planned on it, until you know.”

“Oh? And how did you plan on doing that? I was out cold.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would.” Sasuke shrugged and returned the coy grin. “But I think you’re just bluffing at this point.”

Sakura scoffed. He was trying to goad her into making a move.

“Guess we’ll never kno━”

He was cut off by Sakura knocking him down onto the couch and straddling him. His eyes widened in surprise but he still gripped her hips in both of his hands. She brought the duvet up and covered herself and Sasuke as she covered his mouth with her own. She nipped and sucked, pulling his lower lip into her own mouth before slipping her tongue into his mouth and sighing contently.

She ghosted kisses on his jawline and dragged them down, keeping the blanket over her head so that Sasuke couldn’t see her as she pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat and down his sternum, trailing them lower and lower.

Sakura could feel him trying to pull the blanket off but she held on tightly as she kissed right above his belly button, feeling the coarse hair that trailed from his navel again her chin. Needing the use of her hands, she let him tug the duvet away as she cupped him through his sweatpants.

“Are you sure you want━?” He sucked in a breath as she squeezed him through the cloth.

Sakura waggled her eyebrows as she slipped her hand into the band of his sweatpants. She gripped him in her hand and pumped her fist. With her other hand she tugged on the waistband of his pants. He lifted his hips to assist her in removing his pants. She only got them around his knees before she dragged her tongue up his hardening shaft. Flattening her tongue on the head, she played with the head of his cock before engulfing it with her mouth.

Sakura scooted up and lied down so that she could wrap her breasts━just large enough━around his shaft. She squeezed them together to hold him in place as she bobbed her head up and down as far as she could go.

She hummed in delight when Sasuke’s fingers sank into her hair.

Yeah, this would have been a good wake up call.

.

.

.

Sasuke groaned at the sensation of being completely wrapped in warmth. Sakura’s mouth was hot and wet and tight when she sucked in her cheeks. Any longer and she was probably going to make him come before he could even get a chance to touch her properly.

That just wasn’t happening━it couldn’t happen.

“Come here,” Sasuke ordered, gently nudging her head off of his cock.

“But I like where I am.” She gave him a sure lick and then another.

“Sakura. Just get up here.”

“No thank you.”

“Sakura just sit on my face.”

.

.

.

Sakura knew she was making a stupid face, mouth hanging open and eyebrows drawn down.

Did he really just…?

Sasuke sat up and pulled the borrowed━stolen━shirt over her head and worked on pulling off her cotton boy shorts. Sakura stood up and shimmied out of them, giving Sasuke a chance to fully remove his pants and boxer briefs. Once they were both free of all of the clothing they had on, Sakura went back to straddling him, still unsure of what he wanted her to do.

“Come on.” He tugged her up, guiding her with his hands to turn around so that her back was to him. “You gotta move further back than that. Come on.”

Legs  trembling, Sakura scooted back to align herself so that her thighs cradled Sasuke’s head. The height difference was a minor setback but with help from her hands it was likely to work out in their favor.

“Um,” Sakura looked over her shoulder, “do I start—“

She let out a squeak when Sasuke gave a sure lick against her core. The glare she tossed his way earned her another stroke of his tongue.

Okay doing this now I guess...

Sakura swirled her tongue along the head of his cock and with her hand she pumped at a slow pace, easing herself into steadier and faster strokes as she bobbed her head lower on his shaft. Flattening her tongue she dragged it up from the base to the head, making sure to dip the tip of her tongue along Sasuke’s slit.

A set of vibrations against her nether lips made her aware of his groaning against her folds.

She hummed back as she bobbed her head up and down again, matching with the tempo of her pumping fist, tightening on the downstroke.

Sasuke gripped her hips and held her against his mouth as he tugged her clit between his lips and sucked, rolling his tongue against the nub.

It was a peculiar sensation, not being able to see him moving but being able to feel everything as he twitched in her mouth and caused pleasant vibrations when he moaned.

Sakura grinded down, hoping he got the hint.

She cried out when he smacked her smartly on her bottom before pressing open mouth kisses to her labia. Sakura was about to turn in place again and shove her ass into his face when Sasuke took her clit back into his mouth and sucked hard at the same time he inserted two fingers, He hadn’t even considered easing her in with a single digit first.

Sakura gasped, clutching on the fabric of the couch cushion. She was going to end up coming all over his face at the pace Sasuke was going considering he was aware of how sensitive she was.

God, she wanted to come.

“Sa-Sasuke, I━” Sakura was cut off when a high pitched cry got caught in the back of her throat when Sasuke finally got her to that release she was itching for. Sasuke continued to lap at her folds, letting her ride out her orgasm.

Sakura could feel Sasuke sitting back up underneath her. He lifted her gingerly so that she didn’t fall off of the couch in the process. She could really appreciate all of the time he spent working out when he manipulated her body so easily so that she didn’t have to move around so much herself when she was feeling boneless after her high.

“Ah, fuck.” Sasuke pushed his bangs out of his face and huffed. “I gotta go get a condom. Gimme a sec.”

“It’s fine, “ Sakura breathed out. She tugged on his arms so that he wouldn’t pull away. “I’m on the pill so if you want to you can just, you know.”

Sasuke sat up on his knees and spread Sakura’s legs open on top of them. He took himself in hand and brushed the tip at her entrance.

“You sure?” He asked, rubbing himself around the opening and upward so that he flicked at her delightful little bundle of nerves.

“Just━please, Sasuke,” Sakura whined.

He didn’t want her begging tonight━morning, as the birds chirping outside under Sakura’s cries were warning him of the rising sun━so he did what she wanted and pushed himself inside of her. Sasuke went slow slow slow, thrusting at a steady pace, trying to build up to his own release slowly so he could have Sakura crying out so sweetly again.

Sasuke adjusted his body so he was cradle between her thighs and having to brace himself on one forearm as the hand on the other arm fondled a breast, kneading it and circling his thumb over her nipple. He covered her mouth with his own, not having had nearly enough of her kisses before she went down on him.

Sasuke build up to a faster pace of thrusts, Sakura’s moans rolling into his mouth and harmonizing with his groans. He knew she was getting close again by the clenching of her inner muscles around him and the way she clung to him, nails biting down on his shoulder blades and thighs squeezing tight around his hips.

“Harder, deeper,” she demanded and Sasuke willingly complied. He slowed his thrusts into a deep roll, snapping his hips hard against hers.

Sasuke snaked his hand down away from her breast and wrapped his hand around her thigh, pulling it tighter to him. The slow build up he wanted was flooding and soon he would be crashing into that blissful release. Sakura clenched tighter around him and he could no longer keep from spilling into her. Sasuke kept her tight up against him as he grinded into her deeply.

Suddenly he felt exhausted, reminding him that his plans for that morning was to take a shower and go to sleep because he had been running on barely four hours of sleep. He buried his head in the crook of Sakura’s neck and sighed.

“We should probably move to my room.”

“We should,” Sakura agreed. “But I’m too fucking tired.”

Sighing once more, Sasuke sat up and grabbed his clothes and Sakura’s. He slipped back into his underwear and sweatpants and helped Sakura back into his shirt. Grabbing the duvet, he wrapped it around Sakura so she looked like a burrito and then lifted her up over his shoulder again.

“Are you serious?”

“Maybe if I make it difficult for your to escape, you’ll actually stay this time.”

“I’m not going anywhere!” Sakura squealed as Sasuke dropped her onto his bed.

“Good.” He crouched down so that he was looking at her eye to eye. “Because as fun as this all is, I think it would be nice to know your last name. And your major. And what bands you like. But for now, sleep. We can talk in the morning.”

“It is morning,” Sakura reminded him. He gave her an unimpressed look that had her biting her lip to hold back the smile threatening to break out. “Fine. I’ll stay. I planned to.”

“Good,” he repeated before climbing into bed with her.

.

.

.

Kiba hung up his keys on the key hook right by the door. He and Shino had gone to the diner a few blocks away before heading back to their apartment and picked up something for Sasuke and themselves to eat.

Knowing the guy, Kiba was sure that Sasuke wouldn’t crawl out of his room until two in the afternoon.

“Something seems different,” Shino commented, slipping out of his street shoes when he entered the apartment.

“You know what,” Kiba frowned and looked around the living room, “you’re right. Something feels off. Almost...tainted.”

“I’m going to put the food away,” Shino announced. “And get the dogs something to eat too. Glad Tamaki was cool with us bringing them over last night.”

“Yeah, she’s the best.” Kiba dropped his body onto the couch. It was Sasuke’s couch technically, but it was so comfortable that he practically lived on it.

Huh? What’s that?

Kiba leaned over and grabbed something light blue that was peeking out from under the couch. Holding it up, it became apparent that what he was holding in his hands was a pair of girl’s underwear.

Kiba dropped it and shot up from the couch.

“What the fuck!? Sasuke!”

[ravenandwritingdesks]

Affinity Sneak Peek

Here’s a sneak peek at a future chapter in Affinity my AU anthology. The theme of this one is dark versus light. 

xxxxxxxxx

Illuminated

Where eternal daylight brushes against eternal night

xxxxxxxxx

Warm air dances across the illuminated skin of outstretched arms, carrying the sound of festive music. The constant sunlight pools around a lithe body, bouncing off the radiant silver of the leaves. The girl in the tree could stay this way forever, basking in the warmth of her world. Everything is light, calming, uplifting, even the bark of the branch she lies upon is smooth.

“Sakura!” A voice calls.

Eyelids flutter open, gently, squinting at the bright world around her. Hanging high in the sky, the golden light of the sun rains down around her.

“I know your up there,” the voice teases, prompting her to peer down from her perch. She’s met with a blinding smile and brilliant blue eyes visible despite the great distance between where he stands and her height in the great tree.  

“Very informal of you, Guardian Naruto,” Sakura responds, faking a pretentious tone. She sees her guardian’s body shake as he chuckles at her jest.

“My apologies,” he bends down in a mock bow, his shining blonde hair falling in his eyes “Princess.”

Rolling her eyes, Sakura returns her head to its previous position, staring up at the intricate network of white branches. A giggle escapes the content girl as a pleasant breeze makes the glowing leaves dance around her. The wispy fabric of her dress lifts around her body, creating a beautiful illusion of looking through a wedding veil.

“Come back to the festival, Sakura,” Naruto calls up. “It’s tradition for the royal princesses and their chosen guardians to share the last dance.”

“Celebrating the entrapment of our people does not appease me,” she responds, not looking back down at the man sworn to protect her. “Besides, you’re a horrible dancer.”

“Aw, no need to be rude,” his words sound hurt, but the princess of light knows that her young companion is just teasing. “And the establishment of the walls is not an entrapment, it’s a gift, allowing us to be protected from the beasts on the other side.”

She does not need a history lesson, she’s heard the story a million times. It begins with a past, so war torn and bloody that the creatures of light were forced to live in hiding. The fear was so great, her people could not even trust their shadows, for the enemy embodied them. So her ancestors did what they thought best and fled to the safety of the wall.

Sakura has never seen the monsters that inhabit the other side, but she’s heard of their imposing presence. The darkness clothes them, snuffing out the shine of her illuminated people. Their eyes glow red, as consequence of living in the shadows and along with the monsters they’ve trained to ravage their enemies, they are a force to be reckoned with. The drawings of such creatures within her dwelling’s ancient library gave the young princess nightmares for a week. Only the building of the barrier could spare her world from such horrors. Of course, that occurred long ago, sparing her from ever having to witness their much talked about enemy.

She stares up at the imposing wall directly beside her beloved tree. The shiny gold surface taunts her, practically begging her to peer over its great height. Perhaps that is why she loves this tree, it fuels her curiosity, bringing her almost close enough to see what’s on the other side. She’s been coming here almost everyday for as long as she can remember, climbing as high as she dare numerous times, but it’s never been quite high enough to peer into the other world. It’s not like she’s discontent with her current life, quite the opposite in fact. She loves this place she calls home, with its luminescent people, eternal sunlight, and constant warmth, however, something about the unknown has always tempted her to take a peak at the darkness.

“You can’t stay up there all night!” Naruto calls out to her once again.

Little did he know that she’s done it plenty of times before, he’s not the most observant guardian at times. However, the eagerness in his voice causes her to surrender her stubbornness and stand. Though the sun maintains its permanent place in the center of the sky, she knows that the day has been long, and her people will be retiring to their beds the moment the festivities have ceased. Taking a minute to fix her wind-ruffled hair, she gazes up at the tree one more time. As she begins to position herself to climb down though, something unusual catches her eye.

There, towards the very top of the looming vegetation is a branch that had never been there before. It’s longer than the other branches, protruding towards the wall. No, it doesn’t just reach towards the wall, but it is high enough that it surpasses it.

This is it, this is what she has always wanted, a glimpse at the unknown. Before her brain even processes what’s happening, she’s climbing. Higher and higher she goes, bare feet and fingers finding holds in the natural knots on the smooth white wood.

“Sakura, you’re going too high!” She hears her companion exclaim. Tuning him out, she continues her ascension. She’s so close she can almost feel it. The gold bangles around her wrists and ankles jangle with her rapid movements and the ground moves further and further away as the top of the wall comes into view.

Naruto, having caught on to what the young girl is planning, begins his own attempt at scrambling up the tree. “Sakura, stop!” he cries, but his sense of balance is not as good as hers. He struggles to heave himself up and missteps on a limb, causing him to tumble back to the beginning. “You don’t want to do this! It’s dangerous!” His panic at the situation prompts him to attempt the treacherous climb once again.

Being higher than she’s ever been before, the young princess should have some sense of fear as she reaches the mysterious branch, however, her sense of accomplishment is stronger and quells all other emotions. The branch is smooth and sturdy, reaching impossibly far. One golden foot passes in front of the other and soon enough, the top of the wall is underneath the princess. The top of the blockade is thicker than she thought possible, comparable to the size of the street the town’s market lies upon. The tree is so great though, the branch passes this expanse and more.

Sakura hesitates, if she takes one step further, she’ll be standing over the darkness, the unknown. Perhaps she should turn back, however, she considers this only a moment before her curiosity gets the better of her. A few more inches are all that stands between her and the biggest mystery of her life, what her ancestors so long ago wanted to hide from. She hears Naruto calling at her to turn around, but she can’t be bothered by his distraction, she’s so close.

Mind made up, she takes another step. However, as her foot comes down to land on the branch, it slips. Green eyes widen at the realization of what’s happening. Her guardian screams her name, but it’s drowned out by the rushing of wind as her glowing body plummets to the ground.

xxxxxxxxx

The traveler wraps the dark furs around his body as the cold wind whips brutally around him. Though he is thankful for the time away from the main village, Sasuke is looking forward to finishing his rounds and warming by the fire. Wanting time to himself, he had sent the rest of the party back that morning, claiming he could finish the inspection of this span of the wall on his own. After all, in his years of traveling the distance of the hulking barricade, nothing has ever changed.

Despite his large load, the dark-haired man moves silently over the snow. Survival instinct and the reliance on hunting for food forced him to hone skills such as this early on in his life. As he passes the expanse of solid grey stone, his head roves over the turmoil waiting for him back at the council. With the outskirt villages beginning to fight, everybody is on edge, though Sasuke can’t blame them for their desperate attempts; there is not much else to do when people start running out of food.

He begins to turn away from the wall, ready to start the four-day long journey back to his home when something strange catches his eye. There, peaking out from behind a snow drift is a hint of pink. Not entirely sure of what this could be, Sasuke moves cautiously around the mound of white.

What greets him on the other side surprises him, causing dark eyebrows to pitch up in confusion; a woman lying face up in the snow. However, she does not look like any of the villagers or tribesmen in the area. The source of the pink is the great lengths of hair that fan out around her face messily while a purple jewel rests between closed eyes. Though it is obvious the girl is unconscious, her body wracks with shivers unsurprisingly due to her thin clothing. Other than the flimsy wisps of white that rest from the top of her chest to just below her hip bones, the only items covering her skin are delicate golden chains that loop from her middle finger to her dainty wrists. However, the most striking feature that designates her as different is the way her skin glows, casting a golden light in the otherwise darkened world. He blinks, wondering if the long week in the outskirts is causing his brain to play tricks on him, but no, the illumination remains.

Glancing up, Sasuke wonders how this creature of light happened to tumble into the darkness, nobody has ever passed over the wall from either side. He would know, after all, a crucial part of his job is to inspect the wall for any possible means of penetration. Inspecting the stagnant smooth grey, he finds no break in the unforgiving stone. She must have fallen from the top, but how did she get up there?

Making a split decision, Sasuke gathers the shaking girl in his arms and begins walking, the council must know of her presence.

Xxxxxxx

Consciousness begins to slowly ebb at Sakura’s mind as her eyelashes flutter open. At least she thinks they flutter open… why is it still so dark. Trying to remember what had happened before she fell asleep, she cycles through the day: the festival, the tree, the wall… Her eyes widen as she remembers slipping.

Jolting upright she realizes she’s in a small canvas tent with some sort of softness covering her body.

No, no, no, no, she thinks to herself. This is impossible.

Starting to panic, she searches blindly for some sort of escape from the tiny structure and manages to find a slit making up a crude entryway. Bursting from the tent, she starts running, barely taking in her surroundings. Tall spiny trees, strange white stuff everywhere, the wall… where’s the wall? Adrenaline rushes through her veins as panic sets in her heart. She turns her body every which way until she finally locates an area where the endless trees grow thin. Running towards it, an expansive structure begins to take form.

Knees fall to the ground at what lies ahead. Confusion washes over Sakura as she takes in the sight of the wall made of dull grey stone. This isn’t right. Where is the gold? As her rush of energy leaves her, she notices her body shivering uncontrollably. What’s happening to her? What is this strange stuff on the ground? It resembles the soft down on young birds yet makes her legs tingle uncomfortably.

The feeling of a hand grasping her shoulder causes a renewed sense of panic to fill her body. Slowly she turns and is met with a tall creature, their distorted shape covered with dark fur. Her eyes travel up the strange being. It stands like a human, however, the sight of its face causes a small scream to irrupt from Sakura’s throat. Instead of a mouth or nose there is a great shadow of darkness and its eyes, oh its eyes, they practically glow a deep crimson.

“Stop that,” a muffled voice instructs, but her fear and her cries drown it out.

A hand comes up and removes what must have been some type of covering to reveal a perfectly normal mouth and nose. “I said stop yelling.”

Sakura silences, staring peculiarly up at her companion.

“What’s happening?” she gasps out, panic welling up within her. This isn’t right, this can’t be real.

Taking in her surroundings, she realizes there is so much more wrong with this world than she originally realized. Her hands grasp onto the strange feathers littering the ground. No, wait, it isn’t like feathers at all. It’s something that crunches when she moves her hand over it and causes her body to shiver. Her eyelids flutter upward only to be met with something she’s never witnessed before, darkness. The sky above her is discolored, not the typical light blue that reminds her of Naruto’s eyes, but a deep sapphire, so dark it appears black. The sun also looks different almost as if it’s sick. Rather than the golden color that usually shines down, it’s much less bright, dimmed by a pale pallor.

“Here,” the man, at least she believes he’s a man, removes the fur from his body and places it around her shoulders. The sight is discomforting, after all, she’s never seen the skin of another creature used as a covering. She doesn’t let it bother her too much though as the her body instantly stills the little convulsions as the delicious heat envelopes her.

Staring up at the strange person, she takes in his shocking appearance. Hair that matches the strange sky above them frames his face while the rest frays out behind him. His eyes are the same disconcerting red color, with strange symbols lazily spinning inside them, but what she finds most strange is his skin.  It’s pale, as if the darkness of this world has prevented it the shine that adorns her own. It’s staggering and gives him a disconcerting aura, as if she has no business even being in his presence.

“How did you get here?” he asks gruffly, hoisting her up by the arm he still grasps in a gloved hand.

She hesitates. This man is so foreign to her and obvious not from the shining world of Konoha, the elders would not approve of her speaking to her. However, she feels as if there’s no choice, given her current situation.

“I fell.”

[kakashisavakening]

Chapter 4 - The First Ray of Sun through the Clouds

Quick disclaimer about the story line - this really doesn't fit on the Naruto Story line. It is kind of around the time when the Shippuden starts, but not entirely. I wanted to make Sakura of legal age, cus ya know.... I wanna include some adult content and we don't want Kakashi to bang a minor. So she is about 18 here, but the story is still back between the skipped years before the shippuden. (with all those filler episodes I would say they should have aged anyway before the series continued but that is just my opinion)

I wanted this series to be definitely pre-war and be in the time when Naruto was begging the Fifth to go on missions to find Sasuke, and Sakura still being trained by Tsunade. So please consider this as an alternative universe.

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Kakashi was taken aback by Sakura's sudden - and unexpected - confession. In her heart, he felt confusion and distress, but he also felt that her words carried the truth. 

He, too, felt conflicted. He knew that this was wrong somehow. He knew that they weren't supposed to talk about this or act on this... this... felling? Desire? What was it? What was it really? Was it something primitive, like lust? Was it more complex? Was it love? 

Did he know what love was? Did she?

"Please forgive me, sensei. I thought you should know.. in case.." - She suddenly grew quiet and looked out the window. The sky seemed to be a bit less grey than before... even some hints of blue peaked through the clouds.

"In case of what?" - Kakashi asked back. Sakura closed her eyes and smiled at him. 

"It's nothing. Doesn't matter." - Sakura didn't know how telling him that they were both dying right now would help their case. She knew he felt her lies, but since she couldn't hear his thoughts, she assumed he couldn't hear hers either.

Kakashi let out a half annoyed sigh. - "Why are you lying to me?"

For a second she remained quiet. What could she say to that? To protect him? That sounded cliché... and would also be a lie. She decided not to tell him to give them a chance. If they were to die here - because nothing pointed in the direction of the possibility that he would regain his memories or will to live - they might as well enjoy the time they have left. But how could she tell him that? It was a very selfish decision to keep it from Kakashi, but at the same time she thought if he never returns to what he used to be, then burdening him with the responsibility of her death as well would be cruel. There were lots of other ways to make him remember... 

"It's all good, Kakashi-sensei." - She stepped to the window and opened it to let in the breeze. It still carried the scent of the rain with a hint of sweet cherry blossoms. 

Kakashi wanted to hug her from behind and bury his face in her shoulder. He knew she would let him - after all, she had just confessed that she also had feelings for him... but he stopped himself. This wasn't real. She might be not real. Her lips felt real, her body too... it all felt like she was there with him, but how could she really be here.  He closed his eyes and let his mind wander, alternate between desire and self-restriction. An image floated into his vision. Of her... carrying a huge stack of books. A memory. His eyes popped open in surprise. This wasn't something he had seen before. He closed his eyes again and concentrated on the image. She looked different... younger. There she wasn't woman like at all... just a kid. 

The Sakura standing before him was very different from that child... not just because her body had matured but her eyes were less filled with that sparkle. The sparkle of childhood and naive beliefs. This Sakura carried the scars of a ninja in her soul. He joined her by the window, leaning on the frame without touching her.

"How old am I?" - he asked - "Out there.." 

To be frank, Sakura didn't know. He never told them anything about his personal life. - "I'm really unsure... around 30-ish."

"Please don't tell me I turn into a pedo..." - He sighed and massaged his temples. Sakura flushed and shook her head violently.

"No! You never did anything to me... never really paid much attention to me, to be fair. Did't even train me as much as you did the other members of team 7." - She sighed - "Of course I have always admired you as a teacher and you never failed to protect me, but it was never a romantic relationship. Or any kind of relationship, really. Just a sensei and his student."

"Then why is this shit happening?" - Kakashi waved at the cherry blossoms in the city.

"I am not sure. But you never tried to approach me that way before." - She said, her cheeks still flushed. Kakashi couldn't help, but stare.

"What about you? Were you having feelings for me before coming here?" - Kakashi asked. His bluntness made her uneasy. You can't just tell a person you love them out of the blue... Obviously she wasn't neutral to him. She had risked her life to come here after all.

"Since the Fifth took over the office, she had sent the Jonin out on missions nonstop. We haven't really been on a mission since I was 13. That was a while ago, really. I was't around you enough to know.. to realise." -She began playing with her fingers, occasionally pressing a nail into her fingertips in attempt to ease her discomfort. Here, Kakashi was barely a year older than her. Seeing him like this might have had some influence on her feelings coming to the surface. Here, she was allowed. Not just because here they were around the same age - she didn't mind him being older, really - but because this world was theirs. Nobody was here to judge or blame them for feeling anything.

"Walk with me?" - Kakashi asked suddenly and jumped on the windowsill, reaching one hand out for her. She took it without hesitation and they jumped to the ground gracefully. The wind blew swarms of cherry blossom petals around them. She smiled at the sight of a couple rays of sunshine peaking through the clouds. Maybe it was a sign? Was he getting better? But now she wasn't sure she wants to leave this place anymore. If they go back, what would happen? Would they pretend that nothing had happened?

"Where are we going?" - Sakura asked curiously.

"Just having a stroll, don't worry." - He smiled. She had told him that he was at least a decade older than her in reality. It was so confusing to think of himself as  a 30-something man. He took a deep breath. He was still barely just 19 here. His real self must have so much experience in these kinds of things. - "Sakura, do I have a partner out there?"

"I haven't seen you with a romantic partner if that's what you are asking. You never really told us anything about yourself... heck, I haven't seen your face until now!" - She almost growled the last bit. It had really annoyed the whole team that Kakashi let himself be this blank canvas for people to imagine and pin things on. He never corrected anybody, but never really confirmed anything either. Kakashi chuckled at her latter comment. 

"I have never been one to show my face much, that's true." - He smiled. - "But how was I supposed to kiss you if I left my mask on?"

Sakura's heart jumped at the mention of their previous kiss. - "What will happen to us?" - She had blurted out, not really thinking about the consequences this conversation might carry.

"You mean if we go back?" - Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Sakura nodded. He looked at the sky and put his hands in his pocket. - "Dunno. I mean, it was just one kiss, what do you expect me to do?"

That's right.. She thought. In the world of the adults, a kiss was next to meaningless. Sometimes even a night spent together meant nothing in the next morning. But this kiss was not something she could just forget and move on easily from. And she wanted more. Every time their eyes met, she felt this unexplainable force, pushing her to take a step towards him. She wanted to take that stupid mask off - and maybe some other clothing items too - and kiss him again. Filled with these thoughts, he didn't answer his question. 

But there was one thing she also forgot besides his question. He could feel what she felt. He felt her lust wash over him, and he needed to swallow and take a deep breath not to be taken over by it. It might have been hers and not his, but it affected him just as much. He closed his eyes and tried to think of sad things to make his desire fade away... but no matter how much he tried, all he saw was her face, even with his eyes closed. He knew that if this went on like that he won't be able to contain himself. - "Do you want me?" - He asked. That was somewhere a pointless question, since he felt clearly that she did. But desire and will were two entirely separate things. She might want to contain herself just as much as he does - probably for different reasons. But as much as he wanted to remain collected and calm, this primal feeling wouldn't settle, driving his thoughts to scenarios that would make anyone blush from head to toe. 

Their eyes locked for a long moment before Sakura finally answered. She needed that time to really grasp what he meant. He didn't mean to ask wether she wanted him in his life... he meant here and now. Finally she too a deep breath and only said - "Not here." 

Kakashi felt a sense of victory in his chest. As if he had just won the most precious prize in the world. He interlocked their fingers and pulled her close. She reached up with one hand and freed his face from the mask. He immediately kissed her. Much more passionately than before. Their kiss before was - despite being full of emotions - very careful. They tiptoed around eggshells, making sure the other really wasn't against anything they did. This was different. Their breath was heavy with lust when they finally broke apart. Kakashi pulled her towards a building she finally recognised to be her house. She pulled him back for a second. He shot her a questioning look.

"How do you know I live here?" - She asked, pushing her feelings aside as much as she could.

"I don't. I just assumed this house has a bed, and since this village is empty, nobody will mind..." - For a moment there she thought he might be remembering, but that was a false hope. She took a deep breath, not really feeling the moment anymore. Kakashi felt her resistance and stopped. - "We don't need to do this.  I don't want you to do things you don't feel like doing." - He said, letting go of her hand. She smiled.

"Would you just come and lay down with me?" - She asked. Seeing her house reminded her of the family she had left behind. Her friends. Now, all she needed was a tight hug. Kakashi nodded, bit disappointed, but completely understanding. Sakura guided him up to her room, and went to the bathroom to change into something more comfortable. She put on an oversized t-shirt and pyjama shorts, then went back to find Kakashi already under the covers. His clothes neatly folded on the chair. He lifted the covers for her to climb in. She felt a bit relieved and disappointed to find out that he still had his boxers on. He had warmed up the bed to a comfy temperature already and she felt strangely comfortable in his embrace. He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her a bit. He plopped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Thank you Kakashi." - she whispered into his chest. She couldn't see, but a smile sneaked to the corners of his mouth. A long time has passed since he felt loved. A long time has passed since he felt anything besides sadness, emptiness and bereavement. The soft material of her t-shirt was thin enough for him to feel her heartbeat against his chest. He was surprised when he realised that they had perfectly synchronised heartbeats. He opened his sharingan eye and looked at her. All he saw was a thin red thread tying her right pinky to his left. He had never seen such a thread before. He took a deep breath and decided to ask her about it later. 

Rich orange light illuminated the room as the sun went down. Sakura's breath became even and her lips parted a little as she fell asleep in his arms. She looked like a porcelain doll with her fair skin and her perfectly shaped cherry lips. He brushed a strand of pink hair out of her face. Even her eyelashes were this light shade of pink.  The sunset slowly turned into a cool shade of blue as the sun dipped under the horizon and the night spread across the sky. Finally, he fell asleep too, listening to her breathing.

[lazymilkshakecolor]

Inheritance

Chapter 9 : The birth of The Crimson Falcon

Beta-read by @kairi-chan

‘’Hold it together…’’’

Sarada repeated those three words repeatedly in her head, while her fists and jaw clenched. She couldn’t believe what she just read. It’s been a full day since she found out but she couldn’t get it out of her head. The words she read yesterday was still clear in her mind.

Charged with attempted murder of the five Kage at the time of the fourth shinobi world war, and of the death of multiple Kumo samurai. In addition the attempted murder of Konoha-nin Naruto Uzumaki, Kakashi Hatake and Sakura Haruno…

‘’Papa tried to kill Mama…?’’ She thought. Her head racing with excuses to explain this. Maybe she was controlled by somebody. Maybe he was controlled by somebody, maybe they were faking it to pull off some ruse, may-

She was startled from her thoughts when her ANBU falcon mask was torn from her face and pushed a mirror towards it. Sarada gasped as six tomoes swimming in a pool of red met her eyes. What the hell?! She thought, eyes widening.

‘’As I expected, you had no idea.’’ The blonde haired woman with the lion mask said as she handed her her mask.

‘’Keep it together,’’ she ordered, before she walked passed Sarada.

Sarada has never seen the face of her troop captain, not on purpose on either part, but in the month she was in ANBU, they had never gone on overnight missions and lioness was always the first to change and head out of the locker room. The black haired girl nodded in understanding, knowing full well that her captain was right.

Weird...it won’t turn off… Sarada thought after she tried turning off her sharingan. At the time she just shrugged it off, not knowing that that decision will backfire terribly and start a chain of events that will turn the next four years into a living hell.

.

.

.

‘’Alright round them up!’’ The captain shouted at her and her teammates, who were starting to round up the horde of missing-nin they found hidden in one of Kara’s old hideouts.

‘’Well that was easy,’’ Sashio, who was wearing the fox mask, remarked.

‘’Too easy…’’ Lioness said, looking suspiciously around her.

‘’Maybe they want to escape from Kara?’’ Toru suggested.

Weird… Lioness thought. They were sent on this mission to capture at least a dozen of outer Kara members, but instead they captured five hundred members, well not exactly captured, since they practically surrendered themselves.

‘’Well then, we’re close to the center of the village. We should get help from the authorities here,’’ Sashio suggested, waiting for the captain’s approval.

Lioness decided to agree on Sashio’s suggestion before she remembered that the usually outspoken member of the troop was unusually quiet. She looked at her to see that she was rubbing furiously at her eyes, struggling to take a breath and shoulders shaking.

She’s been like that ever since I caught her yesterday near the hokage’s library… but what could be there that could do this? Lioness was afraid that she had to file her behaviour in. Emotional instability is a huge liability for ANBU, but she decided to talk to her first.

‘’Hey, what do you think about this?’’ she asked, walking closer towards Sarada.

‘’I-I think something really bad is going to happen…’’ she answered, albeit tentatively, whilst looking around frantically.

‘’And what led you to that prediction?’’

‘’My eyes…’’ Sarada said, and that was the last thing she said before all hell broke loose in her head.

The man in front took a step forward, looking at them, eyes full of fear. He took another step. Lioness got close to him to get him back in line with the others, but the man opened his mouth wide and shouted. ‘’Kara shall rule over the shinobi world!’’

And then, Sarada, or the Sarada of another time or place,  saw a shift of his chakra and then a loud bang echoed, before a series of explosion sounds and blinding light. Sarada felt like she was opening the door to another universe, where the world blacked out, or where she blacked out, dead.

Suddenly,she was back at the real world. Seeing the man take a few steps forwards again. Her legs acted by themselves, and she suddenly found that her sword was bloody as her sword cut the man’s throat.

As she heard her teammates shout her name, she saw another future. Where the woman at the far left corner exploded. She ran as fast as she could towards her, managing to throw a kunai precisely on her throat.

She saw it again and again and again, as she saw multiple versions of her and her of her teammates dying, as she saw all the things she could have done to stop this, but none of them worked except this, except by taking their lives.

Her ANBU troop was trying to stop her, but they couldn’t even follow her, as she moved in an illogical pattern. Killing someone on the far left, and then suddenly appearing in front of  someone on the far right. She was completely unpredictable to them, and far too fast to catch.

Sarada has lost count of how many people’s blood was on her swords. She stopped counting at one hundred, finding that that will only weaken her resolve, and as her eyes proved, that will have dire consequences. She discovered that what these people were trying to do was not to kill them, but to make the explosions reach the village, where there are explosive hidden underground.

‘’Fucking stop her!’’ her captain screamed as she ran after her.

The explosions she saw in her mind got smaller, which means that the amount of human sacrifices was considerably lessening. Sarada didn’t know wether that was good or bad, she just kept going, killing them one by one, sometimes two, three, four, ten at a time if she saw who will follow who immediately.

Other than the alternative futures she was seeing in her mind, the fear in her victims eyes was stuck in her head, already shaking at her insanity, making her hands tremble and shake. But that isn’t the reason she stopped at the last one. It wasn’t because of what her eyes showed her either. It was because she could have sworn that the kid holding a trigger in front of her, cause of course he doesn’t know how to control his chakra to make it trigger an explosive, had pink hair and deep green eyes.

‘’Please drop it…’’ She didn’t recognize her own voice as she pleaded the little kid to drop the trigger. But he didn’t, he only held on to it tighter with trembling hands, as he stepped away from her, the whimpers of fear escaping his throat making her lose her resolve. But he, like the ones before him, had only two fates, it might have been three if he wasn’t standing over a mine of explosives hidden beneath them.

Sarada raised her sword in the air, trying to ignore the familiar sound of somebody calling her nee-chan, echoing repeatedly in her ears. But just as her sword was going to meet the kid’s throat, she was tackled to the ground roughly. She looked up to see a lion mask.

‘’What the fuck did you just do!?’’ Her anbu captain growled angrily.

Sarada didn’t pay attention to person straddling her, keeping her down as her sight was still on the kid, who was going to press the button in six seconds. So she did the only thing she could do from a distance, the one thing she hated more than killing.

Tsukuyomi!

The kid suddenly screamed before he fell unconscious on the ground, dropping the trigger from his hand.

Genjutsu… the captain thought as she punched Sarada hard on the face, trying to get some sense back into her and forcing her head to the side, so she couldn’t look at anybody.

‘’Captain, this is an explosion trigger,’’ Sashio, who was the most knowledgeable in technology in the team said, while holding the contraption the kid dropped in front of the captain.

‘’Inspect some of the bodies, see if there’s any trace of those things on them.’’ she said before noticing that the girl under her was convulsing violently.

It’s over, it’s over, it’s over… Sarada repeated in her head as her mind went haywire. Flashes of what happened and what could have happened flashed in her brain. And it only got worse when she raised her hands to her face, only to notice that they were red.

Red like blood. Like the color her swords were right now. Like the color of her eyes. Like the color of the streets of Amegakure if she let even one of those missing nin live. Even the kid? A voice inside her head asked, the kid…. The kid that looked like Saboro… And then the image of her little brother came into her mind, pleading her not to hurt him as his shoulders shook by the force of his whimpers. Sarada suspected that that image wasn’t because of her eyes but of her current loss of sanity.

‘’I inspected four, they all had some trace of explosive chakra triggers, not a physical trigger like the one with the kid.’’ Sashio said, looking at the captain as she rose up, which allowed Sarada to change positions so she was on all fours. And it wasn’t until she was puking that she realised that rain was pouring down hard. But the sound of the rain didn’t drown out the screams of the people she killed, the whimpers of the kid, or the whimpers of her own brother looking pleadingly up at her.

‘’Please nee-chan I don’t want to die…’’

And it was then that she heard a blood curdling scream. She wondered who’s it was before feeling something hard hit her neck, knocking her unconscious.

.

.

.

Sarada woke up to the smell of blood and vomit. She looked around, she was in a closed room, lying on wooden floor, where she could feel scratch marks were her hands are. She tried to get up, pushing on her hands to pull her up, but it didn’t work. She tried pushing some chakra into her hands. And it was then that she noticed that she didn’t feel a trace of her chakra in her body.

Just as her mind was rushing with reasons for that, she felt someone grab her by the collar of her shirt and raise her up roughly to stand on her feet.

‘’You able to stand?’’ she heard a familiar voice utter before she looked up at the owner of the voice. It was a woman with blonde hair and hazel eyes, she didn’t look that much older than Sarada, but she was taller, about as tall as the team captain.

‘’Lioness?’’ Sarada didn’t recognize her own voice, it sounded too raspy.

‘’No mask, Takira.’’ she uttered, letting go of the girl, but still eyeing her to see if she was going to fall down. Sarada wobbled a bit before taking a hold of herself, she felt a weight on her hand, she looked at it to see a chakra suppressor. She immediately tried clawing at it, but Takira grabbed her hand.

‘’I wouldn’t advise you to do that.’’

Sarada was confused, she looked around her, but she didn’t recognize the place. She couldn’t even see properly without her glasses, and not a single noise was heard. The raven haired girl was about to open her mouth when Takira beat her to it.

‘’There’s a bathroom over there, ‘’the blonde haired women said, gesturing behind Sarada, ‘’go take a shower.’’

Sarada didn’t answer, she just held her hand up, gesturing with her eyes towards the suppressor.

‘’When you talk, I’ll remove it. But first, you reek.’’

Sarada wanted to object, but the woman had a point. She did reek, so she walked towards her backpack and reached down to grab something to wear. She could feel Takira’s eyes on her, watching her every move, wariness apparent in her demeanor.

I can’t blame her… Sarada thought.

When she got in the bathroom, she moved to close the door, but Takira gave her a look. Sarada closed it anyway, not in the mood for arguing about a closed door. She found herself thanking whatever gods were out there when her eyes didn’t meet a mirror in the bathroom, not wanting to see her face. Which, judging from the sticky feeling, was still bloody. She felt numb as she got into the shower. She didn’t even flinch as the cold water hit her skin, washing away the blood of her victims.

She felt nothing. Not sadness, not fear, not madness or anger. She didn’t feel anything. At this point she thought of one thing, a very childish thing, a but a thought that brought relief to her mind. Home...mama and papa…

They were right. She was too young for ANBU, too pure. Before she joined ANBU, she had killed twenty people. All were killed because she had no other choice. A month after she joining, she had killed more than five hundred people.

She winced as she felt a dull pain from her nose, she reached and touched it, to realize it was broken. She didn’t even know how and who broke it.

Ten minutes after she entered she got out of the shower, only to be met with the stare of her team captain, sitting on the other side of the room they were in. Sarada grabbed her glasses, putting them on before looking either way of the room. It seemed endless, as darkness invelopped the path.

‘’It’s an underground hideout. It directly leads to where we were before you went lost consciousness. We hid here so I can know what happened peacefully, without the nagging of Ame officers.’’ The blond haired woman said.

Sarada gulped. She didn’t want to tell her about her sharingan, or to tell anybody about it. Because if it reaches the Seventh, then it will reach her parents. Which she didn’t want to tell about this whole situation at all before she made sure of some things.

There’s no way papa would commit those...those atrocities, right…?

‘’Now,’’ the older woman said, getting up and walking closer to Sarada. ‘’What happened?’’

‘’You already know what happened. The chakra triggered explosives would be clear upon closer inspection of the dead bodies, and Sarada found it hard to believe that Sashio wouldn’t inspect them.”

‘’I know what happened. What I want to know is how it happened.’’ The ANBU captain was close to Sarada now, cornering her against the wall, eyes directly on Sarada’s. ‘’Listen, you either tell me and I can clear this up here with the Ame authorities as ANBU captain, or you can explain this to the seventh when he’s sent on a diplomatic trip here to fix whatever you did.’’

Sarada thought about it, her number one priority was to keep this away from the seventh and her parents. ‘’If I tell you, who are you going to tell?’’ Sarada asked, still unsure about what to do.

‘’Nobody, if not, then a little details to the one responsible for this village, you’re lucky the missing-nin you killed were mostly unregistered, their origines unknown.’’

Sarada just gave her a hard stare, thinking about how she could get out of this situation.

‘’Choose, I either report this to the hokage, or you tell me.’’

Sarada made the decision that will give her less trouble later. ‘’I don’t exactly know what happened. But I could see possibilities of what could have been, and what will happen after that and…’’ Sarada trailed off. There was more, but how could she explain it? How could she explain what felt like looking into another dimension?

The ANBU captain, noticing the younger anbu’s confusion, and having what she thinks is enough to explain to the chief police here, decided that this was enough. Besides, she wasn’t really going to tell the chief that. Revealing special kekkei genkai of members could only be done by their permission or on Hokage’s order. She just needed to know her underclassmen’s abilities for future reference.

‘’That’s enough. Go pack. We’re heading out in about fifteen minutes. Sashio and Toru are waiting for us.’’ The blonde haired women said, moving away from Sarada.

‘’Takira?’’ Sarada questioned, unsure of the name she only heard Sashio mutter once by mistake.

‘’Yes?’’ She answered, looking back at the girl who was still leaning on the wall.

‘’You’re not going to tell about my eyes right?’’ Sarada asked, aware of the shinobi laws that restricted the reveal of such information.

Takira grinned before speaking, ‘’don’t worry about it, you’re secret’s safe with me.’’ She then moved towards her pack, to pack up the weapons she was cleaning while Sarada looked at her back.

That’s when she noticed that their was the extinct Kasai clan symbol on her back.

Her mother has told her once, while she was telling her about the importance of the clinic she founded, that she had many clan heirs that have lost their families during and before the last great war. She does recall her mother mentioning the Kasai clan. A clan that was the only rival of the Uchiha in their prowess in controlling the fire element.  

So she was one of the orphans mama took in in her foundation… Sarada thought.

‘’It’s weird to stare Sar.’’ Takira said nonchalantly, which shook Sarada out of her thoughts.

Sarada moved from her place and started packing her stuff, deciding to ask her mother about this later. While she was packing, she noticed the bloody twin swords in the corner.

How would mama feel knowing her daughter was the reason for a whole massacre?

An array of images of dead bodies flooded her mind, which made her recall the smell of blood and hear the sounds kunai hitting the ground and the terrified screams of her victims. Sarada took a deep breath. She already broke down once, she can’t afford to break again during the mission. She needed to stay in ANBU, because it was her only chance--her only chance of knowing the things her parents and the Seventh have been adamant on keeping from her.

Sarada recalled the things she read about her father’s past, the things she would have never believed happened if it wasn’t written in a Hokage’s report.

Papa...are you even the same person I read about?

[sophcaro]

Destiny | WMatsui - Chapter 28

Two years later.

Jurina pulled the curtain and looked out the window, her brow creasing in worry as the rain fell in abundance in the streets of Tokyo. Yesterday again, the weather forecast was promising a beautiful and sunny day, so why had it taken such an unpredictable turn? As if she wasn’t already feeling anxious enough, the weather had to interfere in the worst possible way. Since lighting had struck a little after 7 am and woken her up with a start, she hadn’t been able to find sleep again. Somehow, she couldn’t help dreading the terrible consequences this bad weather could have on today’s event.

Why did it have to rain this Saturday out of all days?

This is not happening.

Jurina prayed internally for a miracle.

It wasn’t usually like her to be pessimistic, but the clock was ticking.

Glancing in the direction of the Ajinomoto Stadium - where the 2019 Sousenkyo was supposed to take place in only a couple of hours - she refused to imagine the idea of the event being rescheduled because of the weather. It would be a catastrophic scenario. Every girl participating in the election had been marking June 22 on their calendar and waiting in anticipation for this special day to arrive.

Tickets for the Sousenkyo and the concert following the event had been sold out a long time ago. Fans had voted for their favourite member diligently; the most devoted ones even going as far as voting more than a few times, and until the very last minute. This annual event was a big operation, that required a lot of staff and intense organization. Yet, the possibility that this detailed logistical planning had been all for nothing appeared more and more likely as the minutes went by, and the sun refused to resurface in the sky of Tokyo.

“You’re already up?”

At the sound of a hoarse, feminine voice addressing her, Jurina tore her eyes away from the window and looked over her shoulder, her gaze falling on the older girl lying in bed, and sharing her hotel room for the occasion. “It’s pouring hard, Churi.” A helpless sigh escaped Jurina’s lips. “And it doesn’t look like it’s going to stop anytime soon.”

“What… time is it?”

“7:30,” Jurina replied without needing to look at the alarm-clock. She already knew the time by heart: she had been checking it almost every five minutes since she woke up. “You should go back to sleep.” Jurina couldn’t help but bring her attention back to the window in concern when she heard the rain intensifying. “It’s still early.”

“I could tell you the same thing.” Akane struggled to keep her eyes open. “You should get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day.”

“With this rain?” Slight despair entered Jurina’s voice. “Just wait; there might not even be a Sousenkyo.”  

“Since 2009, there has been a Sousenkyo every single year. Please stop worrying so much, and come back to bed.” Akane patted the mattress softly. “You need to rest, or you won’t last all day.”

Jurina let out a resigned sigh, knowing deep down her friend was entirely right. More than a few times, she had felt her eyelids trying to close without her consent. Last evening, the stress caused by the imminent event had prevented her from sleeping properly - waking her up every now and then in the middle of the night – and the unforeseen bad weather had only been the icing on the cake. It was a terribly frustrating situation, but what could she do about it? If the staff chose to cancel the event, then she would have no other choice but to accept their decision.

Jurina closed the curtain and turned around.

Moving towards the bed and slipping between the sheets, she was startled to meet Akane’s closed eyelids when she laid by her side and faced her. Jurina observed Akane and listened to her soft, constant breathing, impressed by her astonishing capacity to fall back asleep so fast and easily. After a little while, Jurina laid on her back and stared at the ceiling above her head, hearing the rain beating hard against the window.

I need to stay positive. Jurina tried to cheer herself up. The weather will not ruin this important day.

   Jurina had been staring at her plate of food for the past five minutes, incapable of eating or touching anything. Her cup of coffee, that she had poured herself a little while ago, had remained equally left aside. What could she say? Her appetite had been overridden by her nerves the moment she had stepped inside the restaurant room to have breakfast with Akane. At some point, it was obvious she would need to fill her stomach with a minimum of food to help her go through the day, yet her fingers still didn’t appear decided to seize those chopsticks.

Distractedly sweeping the place around her, she noted how awfully quiet the restaurant room was, despite being filled with so many group and staff members. “The tension is palpable.”

“Of course, it’s an important day. Everyone is nervous.” Akane nodded in agreement, while sipping her glass of orange juice. “Some girls’ future will change drastically after today.”

“I think you’re probably one of the most relaxed persons in the room,” Jurina said, amazed by her friend’s calm. Contrary to her, Akane hadn’t hesitated to start eating as soon as they had settled down at a table, and even to engage in small talk the moment after. “Now that I think about it, you were not stressed last year either. Before the ceremony, nor during the announcement of the results. How come?”

Akane pondered thoughtfully over her question, before replying. “You’re right, I wasn’t. There wasn’t much at stake for me that year. My only hope was not to drop in the ranking, so I was pleased when I stayed at the same position.”

“Were you already thinking of graduating back then?” Jurina asked. “When you participated in the Sousenkyo?”

“I realized I had already accomplished mostly everything I wanted in SKE.” Akane conceded willingly. “But the thought didn’t cross my mind seriously until the following month, when I came to talk to you about it.”

Jurina recalled vividly that day of July in particular.

To be perfectly honest, she had seen it coming. In 2018, Akane had been busier than ever with her extra activities and was less present on stage with them, or during SKE-related events. Even if it took Akane a while to voice out loud her desire to move on, Jurina could sense her older friend had now grander ambitions, that couldn’t be fulfilled in the idol group anymore. That’s why, when Akane had opened up to her one evening and revealed the thoughts crossing her mind, she had supported her all the way.

Yes, she was losing another one of her greatest allies in SKE, and no one would ever be able to replace Akane. But if there was one thing she wasn’t losing, it was a close friend. Even after Akane’s graduation in 2018, their precious friendship didn’t fade away. They kept on seeing each other as frequently as possible, the strong bond they had forged within the idol group never being severed.

“I wanted to thank you for coming.” Jurina played with her food nervously. “I wish I wasn’t feeling so stressed about it, but it means a lot to have you by my side today.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Akane reached across the table to take her hand. “I would never miss an opportunity to support you.” Akane gave her fingers a light squeeze. “Besides, you’re finally getting that first place you fought so hard for during all these years. How could I not be present to witness such a meaningful moment of your life?”

“We’re still not sure I’m going to win,” Jurina cautiously replied. “Preliminary results were promising, but anything can happen. Each election brings its share of surprises.”

“There have been some unpredictable outcomes the previous years, but I honestly don’t see who could beat you.” Akane frowned a little. “Sasshi and Mayu have graduated, and the rising members cannot possibly match with your popularity. As for Sakura, she’s way behind you in the numbers.”

“Absolutely.” Jurina was caught off guard when she heard a familiar voice behind her, and felt a light tap on her back. “Don’t you dare let that HKT girl win, you hear me?”

Jurina turned around instantly: her mouth dropped open when she discovered Mayu and Yuki standing behind her. “W-What are you two doing here? Didn’t you say you would watch the Sousenkyo from home?”

“I never said tha-” Yuki started, before glancing back at her girlfriend in shock. “Wait. You told her that, Mayuyu?!”

An impish grin spread across Mayu’s face. “I might have lied a little... Surprise!”

Jurina’s eyes flickered between them in incredulity, grasping Mayu’s mischievous expression that she had been totally played. “H-How could you!” Jurina protested but the reproach failed to convince anyone, as she immediately broke into a wide, open smile. “I really believed you!”

It definitely wasn’t the first time Mayu played a prank on her, so why didn’t she see it coming? Yes, it had startled her a little when the latter had informed her over the phone that she would be following the Sousenkyo on TV, but she hadn’t thought too much about it. After all, Mayu didn’t have any obligations to be here, and they had agreed to meet for dinner once the ceremony would be over.

Jurina’s face brightened and she stood up to embrace them. “Join us!” she offered enthusiastically, pleased when Yuki and Mayu accepted the invitation and took a seat at their table. However, Jurina’s expression stalled and grew serious when she recalled Mayu’s previous words. “About the Sousenkyo, it’s not as if I can do anything about the results anymore. All I need to do now is wait, and pray for the rain to stop.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Yuki intervened, and brushed it off with a rapid wave of her hand. “I checked the weather forecast a few minutes ago: they promised it wouldn’t last.”

“They did?” Jurina grabbed her phone hurriedly.

“Absolutely.” Yuki confirmed confidently, before shooting Akane a confused look. “Airi isn’t here? I thought she would be present for the Sousenkyo.”

“That was the initial plan but…” Akane shifted in her seat in unease. “She couldn’t make it, she had another event to attend.”

“You don’t need to be so mysterious.” Jurina smiled faintly and left her phone aside after checking the weather. “Rena is receiving a prize for her role in her latest drama. That’s why Airi couldn’t be here today, right?”

The table fell silent and, after witnessing the embarrassment and awkwardness on her friends’ drawn and tense faces, Jurina wished she had held her tongue. She didn’t hold it against Akane for mentioning it: her friend was only being polite and replying to Yuki’s innocent question. Besides, Akane’s sensitivity as she had avoided with precaution mentioning the actress’ name in front of her had been noticed and appreciated.

However, it was a futile attempt to try and preserve her from the truth: she was already aware of this ceremony. It might have been two years since the last time she had spoken or even crossed path with Rena, it didn’t mean she didn’t follow her actuality from afar.

It might not be as prestigious as the Television Drama Academy Awards, yet it was the first major prize Rena Matsui was ever receiving in her career as an actress. Jurina could imagine how proud the older girl had to be feeling deep inside about this award. It was the kind of recognition she had been longing for. It made more than perfect sense that she would want Airi, her caring and loyal best friend, to be present by her side during such a significant turning point of her life.

Jurina diverted her attention to her untouched plate and, grabbing her chopsticks, took a tentative bite at her food. “Ah, it’s already cold...” Jurina winced in displeasure. “I’ll go take something else.”

Jurina rose to her feet and cast a glance in the direction of the breakfast buffet, before looking back at the quiet table. The tension was still palpable amongst her friends, and she wished nothing more but to alleviate it. This Saturday was supposed to be one of the most important days of her life. If she managed to finish in first position at this year’s Sousenkyo, then she would have accomplished one of her greatest ambitions.

“I’m terribly nervous about today but…” Jurina got her friends’ undivided attention when she spoke up. “You have no idea how deeply touched I am that you all came to support me. Even Mariko texted me earlier on and promised to join us later at the stadium. All my friends will be with me on that special day: I couldn’t be any happier.”

   Airi caught her breath in admiration.

On the other side of the door was standing her twenty-seven years old best friend, dressed elegantly in one of the most dazzling dresses she had ever seen on her. Airi couldn’t help staring at the young actress for some long, pregnant seconds, mesmerized by the view. Her red, sleeveless lace dress, stopping just above her knees. Her long, shining brown hair falling down her back and slightly curled for the occasion. The subtle eyeliner highlighting and enhancing the shape of her beautiful small brown eyes.

Today, Rena was exuding such incredible beauty.

“Hi, Airin. What do you think?” Rena’s eyes darted nervously back and forth between her red dress and her new visitor. “Is it… Is it too much?”

“No, you look perfect…” Airi said affectionately.

Relief flooded the actress’ features. “Thank goodness… I was afraid I had gone overboard. Come on in, I’m not quite ready yet.”

Airi stepped inside Rena’s apartment and removed her shoes in the entrance, before following the other girl as she entered the bathroom and settled down at her dresser. Airi watched her attentively as Rena didn’t wait to resume what she was previously doing and she seized the makeup brush, noting how Rena’s gestures were slightly clumsier and less assured than normal as she dabbed makeup on her pale skin.

It would appear she had underestimated Rena’s level of stress.

Airi placed a comforting hand on Rena’s shoulder. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Yes, please help me choose a colour.” Rena motioned three different kinds of lipsticks laying in front of her. “I’ve been going over it for the last ten minutes, and I still can’t manage to make up my mind.”

Airi giggled a little at her discouraged expression. “Of course. You know, I haven’t seen you acting so nervous in ages.”

“I don’t know why I’m behaving this way…” Rena murmured as embarrassment crept over her. “It’s ridiculous, right? It’s only an award ceremony.”

“It’s not ridiculous.” Airi shook her head negatively. “It’s what you’ve been waiting for all these years. You were wonderful in this drama: you deserve that award.”

“Thank you for saying that…” Rena’s expression softened. “It means a lot coming from you.”

All of a sudden, both girls got distracted by the sound of Rena’s phone beeping and the latter immediately diverted her attention to the white device placed on the table. “It’s Yosuke.” Rena revealed, going through the text she had received. “He just arrived at the venue.”

At the mention of Rena’s co-star in the drama and other award winner, Airi felt a flicker of doubt. “Are you really sure it doesn’t bother you me accompanying you? I wouldn’t want to be in the way… Am I even dressed appropriately for this?”

Rena glanced at her through the mirror in confusion. “What are you talking about? You don’t need to change anything: you’re great just as you are. Besides, you’re my best friend. If there’s one person who always believed in my success and supported me from the start, it’s you. I’m proud to know you’ll be watching me from the front row.”

“And I’m proud of you.” Airi smiled warmly. “You fulfilled one of your ultimate dreams. Today, your talent is finally recognized by your peers. You have everything you ever wanted.”

Airi was taken aback when her words didn’t exactly receive the expected reaction and Rena’s expression darkened with an unreadable emotion. Airi searched her mind for an explanation - wondering what she could possibly have said wrong – but she didn’t have the opportunity to question her that the light had already returned in Rena’s eyes.

“You’re right, I couldn’t be any happier.” Rena managed a small, tentative smile. “I should better finish getting prepared, or we’ll be late for the ceremony.”

   “Matsui-san: it’s the third time you’re playing alongside Masada-san, and today you’re both receiving an award. Would you call it destiny?”

“I don’t know if I would call it that,” Rena replied politely to the journalist’s question. “But I consider myself privileged to have had the chance to work with such a talented actor as Masada-san.”

“Do you think you’ll have the opportunity to work together again?” The same male journalist from TV Tokyo continued.

“That will depend on the script but if it’s an interesting role, then I see no reason why I should refuse,” Rena said, tilting her head towards her silent co-star standing by her side.

“And before someone asks me the same question...” Yosuke chimed in and addressed the group of journalists. “I’ll give the same answer. I would be honoured to work a fourth time with Matsui-san if the situation presented itself.”

Just as another journalist was about to ask a question, a member of the staff stepped forward and intervened. “I’m sorry, but there will be no more questions. I’ll ask journalists to please clear the room. Another conference will take place after the ceremony: journalists with accreditations will be communicated the time schedule.”

Rena bowed in respect and exited the room, feeling a little relieved that it was finally over. Half an hour ago, she had barely arrived at the venue with Airi that she had been informed about this conference and - after shooting her best friend an apologetic look - had obediently taken the direction of the conference room. Press conferences had always been one of the aspects of her job that she enjoyed the least, but it wasn’t as if she had any say in it.

She was a public figure: staying out of the spotlight was not an option. Besides, it was part of her obligations as an actress to promote the shows and movies she played in. Even when she was still a member of SKE, she had grasped swiftly the significant role of medias.

“I know what I said in front of the journalists...” Yosuke, who had been walking quietly by her side, spoke up hesitantly once they were finally alone. “But I don’t really think we should play in another drama together.”

Rena regarded him quizzically for a moment. “Why are you saying that? Why not?”

“Really, Rena?” Yosuke gave a strained laugh. “Do you believe those rumours have any chance of stopping if we star in another drama together?”

Rena paused in her steps and turned to look at him in concern. “Does it bother you? Because it doesn’t matter to me.”

“It-It doesn’t?” Yosuke’s eyes widened in perplexity. “Two years ago, I remember how worked up you felt about it, even if - I’ll admit - you tried to hide it well. When journalists made up that same story again two months ago, I was afraid this new TV show would be the last straw for you.”

Now, Rena understood better why the actor appeared so refractory to renew the experience. After the shooting of their detective drama, they didn’t get the opportunity to work together for two years, yet their paths often happened to cross. Since the beginning of her career as an actress, Rena had always maintained a professional distance with all her previous co-stars, whether male or females.

Yosuke was the first exception.

It was useless denying that she had always enjoyed spending time in his company, and that they had grown even closer during the shooting of their detective drama. This positive outcome had only served to reinforce the idea that she didn’t view the actor as a simple co-worker anymore. They kept contact after the end of the shooting and it’s very naturally that a genuine friendship developed between them.

From time to time, paparazzi enjoyed making up false assumptions about the nature of their relationship, but Rena always did her best to ignore them. To be honest, she understood some of the reasons behind the tabloids’ persistence in matching Yosuke with her. It was not common to see an ex-idol showing herself in public in the company of another man. If proof was not given that it was merely a professional acquaintance or a member of the family, then people immediately came to the conclusion that it had to be a boyfriend.

After denying the rumour for the umpteenth time and realizing to her dismay the limited impact of her declarations, Rena stopped fighting altogether and resigned herself. “People believe what they want to believe.” Rena smiled wanly. “I understood a long time ago that I was powerless about it. Let them speculate as they wish. You and I both know the truth, and that’s well enough for me.”

“You’re right.” Yosuke nodded. “I just wanted you to know that, if you wished to keep some professional distance with me, I would perfectly understand given the circumstances.”

“No, I don’t…” Rena was astonished by the actor’s suggestion. “I don’t want to do that, and I will not do it. I shouldn’t have to justify my relationship with you.”

“Alright,” Yosuke relented, conscious he had no chance of changing her mind when she looked so determined. “I have a confession to make.” His voice dropped a fraction lower. “I dislike those kinds of official ceremonies. They make me feel so awkward, and I’m always afraid my discomfort is showing on my face.”

“It’s only an impression you’re having.” Rena reassured him. “You look handsome and confident as usual. Except when you’re playing with your bow constantly as you’re doing right now.”

Caught red-handed, Yosuke stilled his fingers at once.

Rena did not bother to hide her amusement and she studied him - admiring the chic black tuxedo he was wearing for the occasion - her gaze lingering next on the bow around his neck. “And now it’s all crooked.”

“No, it is?!” Yosuke blanched.

“It’s alright.” Rena yanked his hand away gently when he made a poor attempt to adjust it. “I’ll do it for you.”

Yosuke let her proceed without a word, curiosity getting the best of him when Rena’s face spread into a smile. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Rena’s mouth curved with tenderness. “You’re reminding me of someone.”

Yosuke opened his mouth to speak, but he didn’t have time to say a word that Rena had already taken a step back. “There, you’re all ready now.” Rena inspected her work one last time, before raising her eyes to him. “Do you mind if I leave you for a moment? I wish to speak with Airi before the beginning of the ceremony.”

“Of course not,” Yosuke replied. Exchanging one last smile, he followed her retreating form as she turned on her heels, wondering pensively who could be that mysterious person responsible for triggering such fondness in Rena’s voice.

  It was indeed a miracle.

Jurina couldn’t believe her eyes as she stood on the main stage of the Ajinomoto stadium, and looked up to the grey sky. Just as Yuki had said, rain had stopped falling merely a few minutes ago, the sun making a progressive and shy appearance behind the clouds. This positive turn of events filled her heart with undeniable relief, now positively convinced the 2019 AKB48 General Election had no risk of being cancelled anymore, and would take place today as originally planned.

Her attention fell distractedly on the staff members hard at work. While some were finishing installing chairs and preparing all the necessary equipment, others were moving back and forth on the stage, cleaning the floor actively and wiping away the water. In only one hour, the stadium would be opening its doors and welcoming its first visitors. It was a short time frame, yet Jurina had no doubt everything would be ready in time.

“Looks like there will be a Sousenkyo after all.”

Jurina span on her heels at the sound of a feminine voice behind her, her face glowing with happiness when she saw the familiar thirty-three years old ex-AKB member standing a few feet away from her. Not thinking twice, shey reduced the distance between them quickly and pulled her into a hug. “Mariko, you really came!”

The short-haired girl chuckled and returned the embrace. “What are you talking about? I promise I would, didn’t I?”

“But you’re late!” Jurina glared at her with reproachful eyes. “You said you would be here an hour ago!”

“Did I?” Mariko scratched her cheek. “I guess I was waiting for the confirmation that the Sousenkyo would not be cancelled?”

Jurina grumbled at Mariko’s cheeky smile. “I was beginning to think you couldn’t come or had changed your mind.”

“Change my mind? Never.” Mariko ruffled Jurina���s hair playfully. “I wouldn’t miss a chance to see my precious Jurina finally winning the crown.”

Jurina made a face. “Don’t say that... We’re still not sure I’m going to win.”

Mariko frowned in puzzlement. “It doesn’t look like you to lack confidence. I know you were not always satisfied with your ranking in the past, but this year is finally the one.”

“But-”

“I won’t hear another word.” Mariko raised her voice dramatically. “Have I ever lied to you before? No, never. Just trust me on this: I always had wonderful instincts.”

“Fine, fine...” Jurina’s mouth twitched with amusement. “Mayu, Yuki and Churi are already backstage,” she passed her arm eagerly around Mariko’s. “Let’s go and see them?”

Mariko nodded in agreement and began to follow her, until stopping mid-way. At the unexpected move, Jurina stared back at her in bewilderment, unsettled by the serious look her friend was now sending her. “I know you’ve been through some difficult times these last ten years, but I want you to know that I’m very proud of you. Today, you will finally get what you deserve: that victory you fought so much for.”

Deeply moved by her words, Jurina’s eyes shimmered with infinite gratitude. “Thank you, Mariko. Thank you for always supporting me during all these years.”

Mariko embraced her, tightening her hold when she felt the body against her shuddering.  “And you’ll always have my support, Jurina.” She kissed the top of her head tenderly. “Always...”

   Jurina’s heart was pounding inside her chest.

She had arrived at one of the most crucial moments in her career, and it was asking of her all the mental strength in the world to maintain an impeccable professional smile for the cameras. The ceremony had now officially begun, the long-awaited senbatsu finally being announced in front of an attentive stadium full of fans. Frankly, she had no idea how she was capable to keep such a brave face when deep inside, she was a ball of nerves. She might have already participated to ten consecutive Sousenkyo, each AKB48 General Election always made her feel terribly anxious.

Jurina never hid her competitive nature.

From the moment she had joined SKE, and witnessed with wonderment Atsuko Maeda’s quick ascent in AKB, she nurtured the ambition to one day match her outstanding popularity. Jurina might have only been an eleven years old child who didn’t know much of the world surrounding her, that first position in the Senbatsu Election represented one of her ultimate goals.

At the 2009 Senbatsu Election, Jurina had already managed to accomplish a real exploit by entering the top twenty at such an early age. The following year, she ranked even higher at the fourteenth position, almost as if the young child that she was back then was trying to prove that no challenge was ever too high for the idol named Jurina Matsui. Year after year, she kept progressing in the rankings, that so coveted crown appearing each time even more within reach.

Inevitably, she experienced moments of disappointment.

No matter how professional and hard-working she was, and all the energy she devoted to her idol career, it felt as if she had at one point reached an invisible barrier: a barrier preventing her from aiming any higher. The adult that she had then become had great difficulty in understanding and accepting this setback. She had fought so hard to obtain that desired first position, so why was it still out of reach?

Nevertheless, Jurina refused categorically to admit defeat.

If there was one truth that Jurina believed at her core, it was that no obstacle was insurmountable. It only meant one thing: she needed to redouble her efforts, and be a little more patient. Hard work always paid off: and that was precisely what she hoping to prove on that 2019 Senbatsu Election.

   Rena took a seat in the white sofa and stole a peek at the clock hanging from the wall. At any minute now, she expected a staff member to look for her and bring her towards the main room in order to receive her award. Despite the imminence of the situation, Rena couldn’t control her curiosity any longer. Since she had arrived at the venue, she barely had a minute for herself, between the press conference, interviews and all the small talk her status had forced her to indulge into.

Only five minutes ago, she had finally been able to settle down in the waiting room for a short rest, and she didn’t wait anymore to seize the remote control laying on the table in front of her. The television was not even switched on yet that she could already feel anticipation building up inside her. As she searched for the adequate channel, her eyes flickered between the closed door and the screen frequently, hoping that she would not be interrupted. More than anything, she wanted to witness that special moment in time.  

That’s when she saw her on the screen.

Jurina.

Rena’s chest fluttered at the view of the SKE member, a fond smile tugging her lips as she observed carefully the girl sitting on the stage of the Ajinomoto Stadium. Even if Jurina was doing her best to keep her composure as she waited for her name to be called, her behaviour didn’t fool her in the least. Rena could see right through her: she perceived with great ease the nervousness lurking behind her calm façade.

When the camera switched to another member and Jurina disappeared from her sight momentarily, Rena used that opportunity to check the number indicated at the right corner of the screen.

3

The countdown was nearing its end.

It was now only a matter of time until the final winner of the 2019 Senbatsu Election would be announced. Rena had been so focused on the event unfolding in front of her eyes, that she failed to detect the sound of the door opening. When it finally hit her that her own name had been called by a masculine voice, she tilted her head in its direction in surprise, noticing Yosuke waiting by the door.

“It’s time.” He informed her kindly. “They are waiting for us.”

“I’ll be here in a few seconds.” There was almost an imperceptible note of pleading in her face. “I only want to see who’s number two.”

Yosuke was caught off guard by her request but didn’t argue, wondering what could possibly be monopolizing the actress’s attention in such a way. When he took a peek at the screen and recognized the live broadcast, a flash of understanding passed through him. These last two years, it had been rare to hear Rena mentioning her past as an idol in front of him, yet Yosuke could sense it had been a significant period of her life.

Yosuke closed the door behind him and came to take a seat on the sofa. When he felt fingers suddenly gripping his arm without warning, he tilted his head left towards the girl sitting by his side. Rena’s eyes were glued on the screen and he was struck by the range of emotions reflected in them. When the speaker opened his mouth to announce the name of the member in second position, Yosuke noticed a flicker of apprehension passing like a shadow across Rena’s features.

He glanced back at the screen and the grip around his arm tightened.

 95 110 votes.

HKT48.

Miyawaki Sakura.

 A round of applause immediately followed the announcement and, despite the loud cheering emanating from the television, Yosuke didn’t fail to distinguish the words escaping the actress’s trembling lips.

“She won... Jurina won.”

Yosuke returned his attention to her, the warmth of Rena’s smile echoing in her voice as her face alight with unspeakable happiness.

   Jurina’s heart was beating wildly, a constant smile plastered on her face as she made her way back to her hotel room, and reminisced one by one the events of this June 22. These last hours, she had been through such an emotional rollercoaster. From all her accumulated stress due to the imminence of the Sousenkyo, to her complete disarray after witnessing the rain falling in the streets of Tokyo, before her final explosion of joy after hearing her victory being announced to a full stadium of almost 50 000 fans.

Jurina could still feel the adrenaline coursing her veins when she slid with a shaky hand her keycard inside the lock, immediately collapsing onto the bed once she found herself safely inside her hotel room. Laying on her back, her eyes remained glued on the precious award by her side, her fingers tracing with appreciation the words engraved on the silver sculpture.

Jurina contemplated her price for a little while, well conscious her current excitement would probably prevent her from sleeping properly tonight. A soft sigh escaped her lips in content: it was the least of her concerns. She had finally fulfilled her ultimate dream and this Saturday of June 22 would forever be engraved in her memory as one of the happiest days of her life.

Jurina fluttered her eyes close, and – despite the undeniable joy she was feeling - her smile nevertheless unconsciously vanished. All afternoon, she had received the congratulations of her peers and she would forever remain grateful for having her cherished friends by her side during such an important moment of her career. So why couldn’t she shake the feeling that something was missing?

Unsettled by her conflicted feelings, Jurina slowly straightened up in bed, beginning to feel slightly frustrated when she was incapable to put her finger on the problem. “What is wrong with me?” She murmured to herself.  “I’m happy. I’ve never been happier…”

Jurina jolted out of her thoughts when she heard her phone beeping, and she diverted her attention to it. Her mouth tugged into a smile when she checked her messages, and noticed all the congratulations messages she had received. Members of the profession, people she had worked with, members… Considering the great number of texts she had received in such a short span of time, she figured it would take her at least an hour - if not more - to go through each and single one of them.

Just as she was about to close her phone and leave it aside, she paused in shock when she discovered one name in particular popping up in the mass of texts. Filled with disbelief, she forced herself to read the name again, as if to make sure she had truly read correctly and it wasn’t a figment of her imagination. However, no matter how many times she checked the name again and again, it was still the exact same four letters that appeared in front of her.

Rena.

Incapable to react, her eyes remained glued on the unread message for an endless eternity, until the name vanished from her sight as the screen faded to black. It took her some long, pregnant seconds to recollect herself and – finally snapping out of her daze – she pressed a trembling finger to the screen. The screen of her Smartphone lit up again and Rena’s name reappeared at once, her growing curiosity now too strong to ignore. Moving her index on top of the message, anticipation built up inside her as she discovered its content.

Hello Jurina,

You have fought so hard to get there…

I always knew that this special day would come.

Congratulations on your wonderful victory.

I hope that you feel very proud for what you accomplished.

Jurina realized how strongly Rena’s words were affecting her when she felt her heart throbbing and tears of joy gathering in her eyes the moment after. She made no attempt to stop them, allowing them to fall freely when they began to wet her cheeks.

Tentatively, Jurina typed a reply. 

Thank you, Rena. 

She paused a moment - a little unsure what to add -  before remembering that today was also a special day for the other girl.

I heard about your award... 

Congratulations to you too.