#if others weren’t unfairly punished for it!!!

[ohhtobeagooner]

baldiola literally lives outside his technical area where is his card

[stsgluver]

“i like this one,” you pointed to a particular design in one of the portfolio books you’d stolen from geto’s desk. it was a dahlia – black and white with wisps spinning around the flower. it was delicate and soft, and very much unlike the usual tattoos your boyfriend usually created.

the boyfriend in question peered over at you laying across his tattoo chair that you’d adjusted so the back was resting horizontally. he looked unfairly attractive – hair tied back in a messy bun and the glasses he only ever wore when no one else was in the room tipped to the edge of his nose. 

“want me to do it for you?” geto nodded his head towards the portfolio in your hands, a small smirk present. to say you weren’t a fan of needles was an understatement and, in the six months you’d been together and the two years you’d been friends, he was yet to convince you to let him do one for you.

“no,” you scrunched up your nose at him, ignoring his light chuckle at your quick response. 

“yeah no one wants your shit ass.” you spun your head around to see fushiguro toji sliding open the door to geto’s work space. out of all the people geto worked with, toji by far ranked in last place for his distasteful personality. his lips curled up into a twisted grin, scar lifting as his eyes drifted over your figure and you wished you were hiding behind your boyfriend and not sprawled out along the chair. “i’ll do it for you darling, even add some extra benef–”

“fuck off fushiguro,” geto said forcefully. you’d been coming to the tattoo shop long before you and geto had started dating and the older man had always been this way, but he’d ramped it up tenfold once you’d officially gotten together. 

toji rested back against geto’s door frame, his cocky attitude fueled by geto’s clear annoyance. “gojo just wanted me to tell you that you haven’t responded to an email yet.” he gave a wink in your direction before he ducked back out of the room. you gagged in response, slipping off of the chair to shut the door he’d left wide open.

“asshole,” geto muttered under his breath, leaning back and pulling his hair out of its loose bun as he so often did when he was stressed. “how much longer are you going to be here?” 

geto loved having you down at his work, loved being around you as he sketched as he considered you his muse. however, toji had his own special way of tainting every situation he was ever in and digging his nails right under your boyfriend’s skin in a way no one else could.

there was a small pout on your lips as you made your way over to geto, to your boyfriend who was usually always so level-headed no matter what was happening. “hey, don’t punish me for him putting you in a bad mood."

holding onto the back of his chair, you spun it slightly so that he was facing you. he didn’t resist your movements and his legs naturally spread enough so that you could shuffle between them, your arms loosely swung over his shoulders. beneath the collar of his top you could see the ends of several tattoos that decorated his tanned skin. 

“i’m not,” he closed his eyes, leaning into you to press a light kiss to your forearm. “i just prefer for my girlfriend not to be sexualised by that thing.” 

you pushed the strands of hair that obscured his face from your vision behind his ears, “i think i know what will make you feel better.”

“letting me tattoo my name on your forehead?” geto grinned up at you and you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning down to kiss him. knocking your nose against his, you feel the cool metal of his nose ring against your skin. a nose ring he could definitely convince you to get, though it would be from shoko and definitely not him. you had seen what had happened to gojo’s ear when the two of them had gotten drunk and thought piercing each other with a sewing needle would be a genius idea.

“buying me something from the vending machine?” you countered, giggling at the drop of his smile. the vending machine had been gojo’s idea of bringing in more money for the business and he’d somehow managed to convince yaga he was right. so far, the only person who ever seemed to use that thing was you (with geto’s money). 

“i hate gojo for buying that thing,” geto sighed, dramatically making a thing of grabbing his wallet from his drawer. he pinched your hip lightly and nodded his head towards the door, “after you, princess.”

[askew-d]

mdzs midnight thoughts

lan wangji does not know that his forehead ribbon truly was askew the second time wei wuxian pointed it out, now does he

as i’ve mentioned before, lan wangji also does not know that wei wuxian had alike scars in his back as a punishment for having saved him

lan sizhui and the rest of the juniors have no idea about the story hanguang-jun and senior wei had together. if they saw the dire situation where they screamed at each other and fought, they’d be really shocked, because: seriously, these two men are so goddamn shamelessly affectionate in a daily basis, how could they ever had conflicts?

jiang yanli, jin zixuan, wei wuxian and the wens’ deaths were basically in the same couple of days. none of them actually know that besides wei wuxian. jiang yanli and the wens think they’ve died to save wei wuxian, but in the end it just spared him some more time. he died not long after anyway.

no one despite lan xichen has any idea why lan wangji was so interested in bunnies out of a sudden, right? he just one day appeared with a ton and they just thought, ‘oh yea, it’s hanguang-jun, we’ve got him covered’

if wei wuxian’s mother saw how much her boy tormented lan qiren and the lan clan in general, from what her reputation precedes, she’d possibly smile proudly

everyone still thinks wei wuxian was the preferred ‘son’ instead of jiang cheng. they think he’s got a privileged childhood for living with the jiangs being treated not as a servant, but as part of the family! they dont know everything he’s been through in that goddamn fucking environment!!

perhaps meng yao would’ve been more empathic towards wei wuxian if he actually got to know his tragic backstory in the streets and with the jiangs. maybe if he got to know him better, before the sunshot campaign events. they were treated unfairly in resembling points, weren’t they, after all?

nie huaisang and wen qing would be like brother and sister if they were to know each other. they never did. in fact, wen qing wasn’t spoken about or to enough.

mentioning the public eye again, for them it’s like wei wuxian was the dishonest and devilish son of the two most famous, righteous rogue cultivators of their age. and considering madam lan’s past actions, lan wangji is the son of a murderer. historically ironic.

wei wuxian is part of jin ling’s family three times. one as himself (martial uncle), second as being in the body of mo xuanyu (biologically an uncle) and third as being the husband of lan wangji, lan xichen’s brother, who’s sworn brother with his uncle (a very distant relative, but a relative likewise, especially since being sworn brothers is such an intimate thing there).

the lan disciples simply saw hanguang-jun, the epitome of righteousness and the king of blank expressions, pick a random gay demonic cultivator one day and let him tag along on his adventures only for them to get married later because, yeah, that’s the yiling patriarch, in fact, why nobody told me my idol had a situationship with the biggest badass villain in history??

from somewhere within, mo xuanyu is oddly satisfied for seeing wei wuxian getting a proper revenge for him and a bunch of other stuff, beyond having very gay sex with the hanguang-jun — can you imagine?! he must think that at least his body served for a good cause!!!

[upsidedownwithsteve]

for smutty saturday, could you make a baby blurb with the prompt “you look good with my hands around your throat.”? 🤩🫶🫶

it's almost saturday, right...? you didn't specify a boy for me babe, so I chose eddie (rings) hope that's okay!

“Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice was a rough chuckle, all low and warm. “Don’t you look fuckin’ pretty?”

You whimpered, hips moving up in search of what you so desperately wanted. Your legs were thrown over the boy’s thighs, his half dressed frame kneeling between your own. You were unfairly naked, spread out below him and pressed into his bed by one large hand. 

“You look so good with my hand around your throat,” Eddie cooed, far too sweetly for the way his fingers were pressed against your neck. “Huh, baby? Makin’ my rings look extra pretty, aren’t you?”

You whined again, wriggling against the sheets at his words, but you nodded. The cool silver of his jewellery pressed into your overheated skin and you were a few seconds away from begging. Eddie was holding you firm, tight enough for you to feel that slow warmth of pressure.

“Eddie,” you mumbled, lips pushed into a pout, eyes a little glassy, because he’d been teasing you for too long, his shirt off and his jeans unbuttoned, the hard length of him a hot and obvious outline against the denim.

His other hand was soothing over you, wandering wherever it wanted, switching up its path without much warning and his touch had kept you on edge for an age. His fingers slid through your folds for the hundredth time, collecting the slick there before finally, finally, pushing a finger inside you.

You keened high at the friction, grateful to finally feel something other than soft teasing and Eddie tutted when you wriggled again, squirming down the bed sheets until you were almost in his lap, his finger deep inside of you.  

“S’wrong, princess?” he asked, a little mockingly. He crooked his digit, grinning when you squeezed your eyes closed and gasped. “Not enough?”

You shook your head, your hands coming up to wrap around Eddie’s wrist, holding him to your throat. You knew you went all doe eyed when he smiled down at you, softer than before, gaze fond. Your fingers ran over his knuckles, the cold of his rings, tracing the skull head. It made him push another finger into your entrance, giving you more to work with, a reward for the way you were looking at him so prettily.

“That better, hmm?” 

“Eddie!” Your answer was a sharp gasp, a choked out moan and he splayed his fingers out around your neck in reply, thumb reaching up to trace the curve of your bottom lip.

It pushed at your lips, dipped in to press against your tongue and he groaned when you closed your mouth around him, sucking lightly, teeth grazing. You whined around him, eyes blinking back overwhelmed tears when he rutted up against you, hard and hot under his jeans.

“You wanna come?” He asked you, thumb slipping from your mouth to let you speak. He swiped the pad of it over your lips, slick and glossy. “Does my girl wanna come?”

“Fuck, yes, Eddie, please.”

His fingers set a punishing pace, knuckles pushing into the inside of your thighs, the curve of your ass and you knew you’d feel it in the morning. You didn’t care, you hoped you did. It was a thick, wet slid in and out of you, the metal of his rings warmed from your skin but still giving you a whole other sensation as they pressed against the slick of you. You were close, aching, body too hot.

“Eds, please,” you were whimpering, begging him for something that even you weren’t sure of. But then his hand slid back up across your chest and suddenly you were desperate. “Oh, god.”

You grabbed at his hand, so much bigger than your own and you were impatient with the way you dragged it back to your neck. The boy choked out a laugh at the realisation of what you wanted, what you needed, the sound ending in a moan when he applied that same soft pressure around your throat.

“Oh Christ, baby,” he sighed for you, letting you ride his fingers the way you wanted, thumb brushing over your clit with a feather light touch. “So good for me, aren’t you? Look so fuckin’ pretty like this.”

[analogwriting]

It Comes in Waves

Chapter 17: Diffraction Trafalgar Law x gn!reader word count: 2.6k first|next

You heard Momonosuke’s voice informing everyone that Jack was attacking the elephant. And apparently Luffy could hear this voice as well? He seemed to be yelling to thin air, trying to make sense of what was going on. 

“The elephant…he says that he committed a crime and has been wandering the ocean ever since.” When you heard Momonosuke’s words, you looked at him. Hold on…you remember a child’s tale that was passed down on your island. An elephant that had committed a crime and made to walk the sea for eternity. You remember picture books and some people saying that the elephant was misunderstood and tried unfairly, but you don’t remember it too well. They couldn’t be connected could they?

Then the small lord gave the order, telling the island to fight. In mere moments, all the movement stopped and everything was calm again. It was only then that you realized you were still in Law’s lap from having taken a tumble. You quickly stood up, apologizing and helping him up. You were still upset with him, however. Your conversation was likely not over.

You keep from Law for now as everyone disperses to get ready for the next legs in the adventure. Luffy is gathering food and whatnot. Nami is going over the map of Big Mom’s territory with Pedro and a few others. Law is getting his crew ready to head back to the Polar Tang. Chopper, Robin, and Franky all began to make preparations to fix up Zunesha. 

You’re with Nami currently, looking over this map to make some kind of plan of infiltration. Suddenly, an easy feeling settles over you. It feels as it does when someone is really upset at someone. You’re trying to figure it out. Law couldn’t be that upset, could he? You begin to walk out of the small hut your in when Nami gasps. “What?” you asked, looking at her. She’s staring at the sky.

“A storm is coming,” she said, her eyes widening. “A big one.” 

You both run out of the hut, looking towards the sky. That feeling is growing stronger and you feel something pulling you in a certain direction and you step to follow it. “Oh no!” You look at Nami and notice her pointing. The sky quickly becomes dark and you notice cyclones in the distance. “We need to get the medical team back!” you shout. 

Come to me. You whip your head around. What was that? “Y/n?” You hear Law’s voice but you pay no mind to him as you start running in the direction that you feel the pull. You hear him shout after you, but you’re not responding.

You stop at the edge of the island, looking down. You see the ocean is furious. No, no. This isn’t good. You hear Law’s voice again and you look back at him as he’s panting. “What are you doing?” You shake your head. “I’m not quite sure.”

You look back down. You needed to do something. Come to me. Was that…the ocean? Was she speaking to you? You back up a few paces and Law is watching you, but it seems to sink in. “Wait, no-” He tries to grab you but you’re already running full speed to the edge of the elephant and diving down towards the water and Law screams after you, saying you’ll splat like an egg.

Only you didn’t. The ocean sent up a cyclone to meet you halfway, swallowing you up into the ocean. You open your eyes, but it’s dark. You can only imagine how deep you were pulled, but you weren’t struggling for air. A soft glow began to come from your necklace and soon you saw the outline of a being in front of you.

“Are you…” You were speaking, but you weren’t sure how. You were in the ocean, you could feel it around you, but at the same time, you could breathe and speak as if nothing was happening. “Please, calm your waters.”

“And why should I?” The voice rang around you like an omnipresent being. “Because people are going to die!” 

“People are the ones who destroyed Zou and harmed Zunesha. They must be punished.”

“But Zunesha took care of those people! The ones there now are trying to help.” There was silence.

“There are also devil fruit users, nothing good comes from them.” You had no idea why the hell you were trying to argue with the ocean. Was it the ocean? Maybe you were dead right now and arguing with a ghost. You had no idea what was going on.

“You and I both know that’s a lie. I know you hate them, but there are some that have used the power for good.” You thought of all the good Luffy had done. That Ace had done. Chopper, Law, you could go on.

“What I want to know is - why are you teamed up with devil fruit users?” The question was suddenly pointed at you. You blinked, tilting your head to the side. “It just…happened?” 

“You know what they have done to your island, yes? It is because of one that your island was destroyed and my children were slaughtered.” Your head was reeling and you felt anger rise in your own chest.

“That’s because you abandoned us!” You were seething. The protection had been waning on your island, less people were connected to the sea, people were able to find the island once more.

“How dare you blame me?” You felt the water around you begin to move rapidly and slowly crush you, but you weren’t going to let the ocean end you right here. “You were beginning to pull away! People were discovering the island, less of us were able to connect with you. And we didn’t know why.” You felt tears forming in your eyes, disappearing into the sea itself.

“You are the ones that left me,” you heard her say. You paused. “What do you mean?”

“Your people are from these waters. Then, eight hundred years ago, you moved to the North Blue. It’s true, I was mad. I granted less and less of your people power, but my power isn’t as strong as it is in these waters.”

“What do you mean? You’re the ocean. You’re everywhere!”

“It’s different! I don’t expect a mere human like you to understand but…less people respect and love the ocean in the other seas compared to the New World. Not even the Grandline. I am not able to be as sentient. Just because humans call it the New World doesn’t mean it’s new.” 

Well, she had you there. They just discovered it and dubbed it so. There were already civilizations here, long established. Nothing was actually ‘new.’ Just new to the people everywhere else. 

“I tried to reach out to you as long as I could but as time faded so did my powers. I just couldn’t reach you as well and I’m sorry for that.” You were quiet.

“Don’t say sorry, it’s not your mistake.” It wasn’t her fault. You supposed you somewhat understood. Your people used to be so intertwined with the ocean. Talks of her manifesting a body and speaking to your people like a goddess among men. You also thought about your own power. It wasn’t exactly strong when you were in the North Blue. It began manifesting itself when you were in the Grandline but…it was nothing like it was in the New World. You felt yourself so connected with the ocean. You also were able to actually stay more conscious when using your power. You weren’t passing out every time you had to call on the ocean.

You felt the water turning around you gently, like an embrace. “I already calmed them, you know.” You heard her speak. “The moment you hit the water. I needed you to come to me. I needed to speak with you. To connect with you a bit better. I hadn’t felt you in my waters for some time. I was worried you’d leave too.” 

Ah, so she was worried that she’d lose her last child. “You still have all of the fishmen.” She laughed. “That’s true. And I love and cherish them all. But, you have an important task. You still have so much to do. And you’re going to need my help to do it.” 

Huh?

“I should send you back up before I start worrying your friends.”

“Two things.”

“Yes?”

“I thought you hated my friends because they were devil fruit users and also what do you mean I have important things to do?”

“I just needed to rile you up a little. Start a fire in your heart.” What the hell did that mean? Nothing was making sense now. What the hell was this whole conversation even? You felt like you were missing parts of it already. You weren’t already forgetting things were you? Was that even possible? Ugh, your head hurt.

Once more, you felt the water begin to swirl around you and raise you up. “Wait, you didn’t answer my other question.”

“All will be answered in time. You’ve grown into a fine, young individual. Now, go. I just…needed to see you at least once, my keiki.” You felt your heart stop. You looked back to the figure and it was clearer now. Of course, she wasn’t your father. But, she looked a lot like the woman in a photograph you saw long ago. A photograph in a locket that your father always wore.

“Hold on - wait!” You tried to reach out, but you were already being carried in the tunnel through the air.

Next thing you knew, the water set you down gently on the ground and dissipated. You sat there in shock, unable to move as your head reeled. “Y/N!” You heard someone yell, but you were far away right now. You felt tears sting your eyes. You were frustrated. You had so many questions. Who was that person, really? Why did your dad have a photo of her? Was it true - the tales about her manifesting herself to walk among men all those years ago? But, your dad was always in the North Blue.

You felt someone shaking your shoulders but you still weren’t there. Your mind was running a million miles an hour. As far as you knew, your dad was always in the North Blue but…you don’t really remember your dad ever talking about his life before you were born. Just that he had met the most beautiful and wonderful woman that had blessed him with you. But, he was unable to stay with her and so he had to raise you on his own. Whether she had died or moved away, you had no idea. You just knew that your dad loved her, but he just never said much about it because it pained him.

You felt hands on your face and something press against your forehead. You slowly felt yourself stop spinning. “That’s right. Come back to me,” you heard a voice say, but still in the distance. You blinked, for a moment only seeing a shade of gold. A familiar, unique shade.

You blinked once more, realizing that Law was crouched in front of you, your head in his hands and your foreheads pressed together. “There you are. Focus on me.” He stared into your eyes, making sure that his eyes and face were all that you saw until you were fully grounded once more. The world stopped spinning, your breathing returned to normal, and your thoughts were starting to process a bit better once again.

He slowly backed away from you, letting you go. “What happened? You jumped and when you entered the water, everything stopped.”

You shook your head. “I’m not even quite sure.” You were telling the truth. Nothing really made sense. The ocean was mad but then she wasn’t? Ugh, thinking about it made your head hurt.

Law looked at you for a long moment. You could tell he was deciding whether or not to press the issue, but decided not to.

“Are you still going to go with Luffy?” A change of topic, but you weren’t sure that was a blessing at this point. You sighed, nodding. “Yes, I plan on still going. And I still don’t understand why that bothers you so much.”

“Big Mom is a Yonko. It’s dangerous-”

“So, Luffy will need all the help he can get.”

Law was quiet. He knew arguing with you was useless so you didn’t know why he kept trying. You thought for a moment. “Do you think I’m going to go back on my word and join the Strawhats instead?” you asked, eyebrows knitting together.

He didn’t say anything, staring at the ground. You sighed. “Luffy’s crew isn’t exactly my speed. I love Luffy with all of my heart, yes. But he has his own journey. Besides, I already said I’d join your crew.” You moved closer to him and he looked at you. Your hands moved to your necklace, thinking for a moment. Then you slid it off and looked at him. He stared right back at you.

“Collateral.” He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. I know how much you need that and how much it means to you.”

“All the more reason for you to look after it. I mean, we’re going into enemy territory, not exactly safe for a family heirloom.” You shrugged. You moved without much thought, taking Law’s hat off. He seemed frozen as you moved so casually. You placed the necklace around his head, resting it on his chest. “Look after it for me, yeah?” You grinned at him and, boy, he was so red you could’ve swore he was glowing.

You took his face in your hands this time, looking him in the eyes. “If you can keep this safe while I’m gone, then I know that I can fully trust you with my life and I will pledge my loyalty to you and the crew,” you said. His eyes widened at your words and he seemed utterly speechless.

Then it hit you - what you were doing and how close the two of you were. You two stared at each other for a moment. All you could hear was the sea breeze and the far off sounds of everyone getting ready to leave. You broke the trance, moving. You placed a kiss to his forehead before moving to place his hat on his head and he just stared at you.

He opened his mouth to say something when you suddenly heard Luffy’s voice call for you. “That’s my cue.” You stood up, helpling Law in the process. His skin was red and he was still speechless. You weren’t exactly sure why you did what you did, but it felt right.

Luffy broke through the trees, finding the two of you. “There you are! I was about to leave without you!” He puffed out his cheeks and you laughed. “I know, I know. My bad.” It seemed like he had no idea what happened. It made you wonder if Law was the only one that saw you. You’d like to keep it that way, you didn’t want anyone else to worry. 

“Is Traffy okay?” You looked back and he was still as red as Luffy’s top. “He’s fine. He was…running. We were trying to find you.”

“Oh, okay! Well, come on! We’re going to be late!”  He bounded back into the forest and the both of you went after him.

[blurredout10]

This Is Not A Date

Upgraded Connor (RK900) | Nines/ Reader fanfic

Rating: Mature

Wordcount: 5560

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Intimacy, emotionally curious nines, groping, smut, p in v sex, rough, kinda soft kinda not lil boi

Link to AO3 here or continue below cut:

You envied him, really.

Holding down a forefinger, the imprint fogging your phone screen, the victim of your poking quite literally quivered under your fingertips; a damn bloody dating app. Its cornered ‘x’ be the only good idea it gave you since its offered romantic prospects surely weren’t.  

It shakes a violent plead of mercy, like the castle clown prancing joyously, a jingle bell on its neck collar shaking its head desperate no’s where you snapped two fingers for its forthcoming executions. Disappointing. As per usual.  

But punishing the joker meant nothing if its replacement came from the same circus. You downloaded another app, pinky peach hearts pictured on a mobile symbol, your expectations had sunk passed the depths of hell.  

You were no less given the attention, a text ping except for a joker's bell. Despite Detroit’s ever-growing gene pool with the doubling population of both humans and androids, your huddle of situationships barely satisfied you, lacking a spark you so craved. Matches appeased your eyes, descriptions void of icky pick-up lines, but with every other text you were sent, something scrunched up your face worse than the last.   

“Why are people so boring?” you vented to the brioche-scented air, very much aware that fine-tuned android ears had spaced out. You’d grown to suffer alone.  

He didn’t have to worry about bearing the weight of carried conversations, he was perfect. Bloody hell looked it too.  

Nines envied you equally, but for the opposite reasons.  

There hadn’t been a day's rest of his HUD, notifications running haywire like sugar-induced children running laps in a playground. But even little humans collapsed in exhaustion — you did a lot of that — and energy was spent, Nines’ string of leeching matches never tired. 

“How tall are you?”  

“Glad we matched! My place or yours?”  

“How big did they make you?”  

“Boring indeed,” silencing the utter mess of thirsty texts, he turned his attention back onto you, a croissant half-stuffed in a stun where you hadn’t expected an answer. Flakes stuck to your lip as you chewed, fluttering eyelashes moaning for you at the fill of French delectables. Your reactions amused him. People were boring, indeed.

You, however, were quite interesting.   

Many months of a developed friendship had the both of you puzzlingly closer. Intending to better work efficiency, Nines fed into your friendly advances, but he hadn’t expected to actually enjoy your company. You two had clicked like polar forces, self-fashioned laws of physics in your own little world together.   

Nines, surprisingly, was a pretty handsome wall to talk to. You enjoyed every little teenage-like whisper of gossip you shared, to which the android’s sharp ears picked up on the latest in the DPD. You’d grown accustomed to his partially stiff persona as he did to your free-spirited one. The moon to your sun, and he surely brightened in your gifted happiness. Kindred souls hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder, you were there for him, and he was there for you.  

Nines scoffed at deleting another chat thread with a persistent match mate.  

It started as a joke. ‘I can get more bitches than you,’ though you knew you were speaking out of your ass. You did not, dare you say could not get more bitches than a man who mastered being a man, despite being made plastic and steel.   

Eyes blue like arctic winds, soft but intimidatingly focused in burning through flesh, his face sculpted unfairly to turn heads his way. Broad shoulders and a narrow waist that looked good in anything, even you could admit that. You were no stranger to getting asked about his romantic status.   

The sheer size of him shifted uncomfortably in the little bakery’s equally little seats, shoulders swallowing the back of his chair as if his steel spine served a replacement. Discomfort, albeit making him stir again to lean forward with a frustrating twitch of brows, was still foreign to him; a bitterness that squirmed deep in his chassis. It had taken a while to identify and label the feeling.   

Experience was the tutor in the study of emotional understanding. Experience was his guide to an emotionally coloured world and discomfort was by far the dullest, sluggish and unattractive hue he’d come across.  

Nines heard an audible moan deep from your chest, satisfaction making you lick buttered fingers clean. Your palate cleansed except for pastry bits on your plate, following a trail to your lap, above your chest and still on your bottom lip. You, however, were that bit of colour that sagged his shoulders, the bit of colour that made him agree to silently accompany your weekly brunch ravishment.   

His chest shook in a chuckle at seeing you no less a mammal in its habitat, wild and careless, waving away thrown looks at your poor table etiquettes. Hair frenzied in a mess, your posture slouched as if you owned the ground around you, you had a flair of contentment with everything you did. Interesting human, indeed.   

“I wasn’t aware wearing your afternoon brunch was socially acceptable,” he quipped and your eyes widened, patting hands rubbing away crumbs that doubled his laughter. Croissant bits projectile in his direction, ultimately landing on the table and his lap. 

Your phone announced itself, a text ping waking up your screen with the surprising icon of a newly downloaded dating app. Flat on the table, Nines perked in out of curiosity. Your spread grin was better at drawing his attention.   

It could only mean one thing.  

“I’ve got a date on Friday.”  

-.—.-  

It just happened.   

Somehow in some weirdly fated way, you and Nines had your dates aligned. When you’d dress up for a dinner evening, he’d be suited up for one couple of roads down. The forgotten competition falling into a routine of complimenting each other’s outfits, you pointlessly fixing his collar and escorting either into another’s hands.   

As expected, you’d gasp at the sight of his fitted dress shirt, threaded buttons pulled taunt to the rise and fall of his chest. Bigger biceps smoothed into the arms of his blazer, an icy pair of eyes that’d drop anyone to their knees; you watched appreciatively, blessing your eyes with what his dates would be so lucky to sit across.   

Dang, he looked good. Who needed dinner if desert sat inches away?  

And he’d eye you similarly, following the curves and dips of your dresses, a taunting hug of fabric an extension of your skin leaving little to the imagination, not that he had any. Loose silk that hung low, embraced your thighs just right, it was enough to have you smiling at your reflection. You liked to look like this, beautifully sexy, earning heart eyes from victims you’d never contact again.   

Nines was effortlessly attractive, but you sure believed you were too, and confidence was already half the charm. There was a reason your dating race lingered neck-and-neck, people wanted him and people wanted you.  

Still, you didn’t understand why serial dating was so damn hard.   

Nines excused his admiring as a friendly reciprocal to yours and then you interlinked arms, trotting in pretty shoes to leave some date awestruck.   

Struck, definitely, so much so they didn’t show.   

“Fucking flunked on me,” all of your hours getting ready wasted for nothing. A dangling table light held you in spotlight, the universe laughing at your misery. The waiter dared to make a brief visit, scurrying away when you shot daggers, Phone glued to your ear, you lined a fork with distracted fingers, “I went through all that effort, for what?”  

“He dodged a bullet,” Nines teased, a smirk leaking into your speakers. You groaned annoyingly, a tad bit hurt though you’d never mention it. Nines only chuckled, “are you not hungry?”  

“Of course, I am,” your volume had diners eavesdropping, you lowered it, “but I’m not gonna sit here and eat alone like some… loner .”  

An elderly woman leaned into your line of sight, doing little to mask her judgement.  

“It’s embarrassing,” you sighed, straightening up subconsciously. Nines remained silent, a little something nagged you, “tell me you have better luck than me.”   

He did. Unlike you, Nines was glad his date didn’t show.   

“Unfortunately, detective, I have been cancelled on too.”  

“No. Way.”  

So, obviously, the next step pretty much carved itself out. You were both in need of a nice dinner, dressed to impress, and without your respective dates. Nines took no longer than necessary to join you, filling in the void of an empty seat as you did for him.   

This happened again, from your silk dress to a casual getup, and again, from fancy dining to amusement parks. From black tie gallery visits to turtleneck picnic dates. You found it harder to believe Nines was getting cancelled on when he kept miraculously showing up.   

It wasn’t a date, even if it always looked like it and you’d get ready as such. Painted lips smiled at him rather than some other guy, and neither of you was complaining about it.   

Upon reaching the front of the queue to an ice cream cart, did someone first state the obvious.   

“Here’s one for you and a drink for your partner.”  

You stilled, “oh, we’re not- he’s not-"  

“Thank you,” Nines took your waffle cone, giving it a tasteful lick before handing it to you. He walked away before you could protest.   

“What was that?” You fell behind his longer strides struggling, Nines always found it amusing.   

“What was what?” Pale flickers of his eyes were a tell of his naivety, “are we not partners?”   

Work ones, sure. “Pretty sure she was calling you my date.”   

For his advanced prototype kinks, he hadn’t preconstructed that theory. It was his turn to freeze, the ice of his irises solidifying the rest of his body, the only tell that he hadn’t fallen stasis being an amber spin on his temple. His abrupt halt had you bumping into his back with a grunt.   

Though your complaints died into laughter at seeing him so… off guard.   

“It’s not so bad,” you nudged him, elbow meeting his midriff, its proximity to his thirium pump regulator pulled a heavy huff through his voice. You winked, “you’d be lucky to score with me.”  

Park attendees walked in their chatter, dogs let off their leashes, rolling in the glass with both furry flesh and synthetic plastic alike. Families shared inside jokes, children playfully screaming on the lake’s perimeter. Information coded everywhere in his scans, the broken grid of his deviancy reminding him of his freedom.

But he grew overwhelmed around you.

The past few mutual flunks hadn’t exactly been… mutual. The moment you’d text him your date was boring, or the guy left you hanging again, he’d be the one to disappear mid-mingling and scurry away to accompany you. Surely, that’s what it meant to be a good friend, right?  

He wasn’t looking to replace your flings. He just merely wanted to be there for you. Be a light of colour as you had been for him so many times before.   

Nines blinked erratically, warning ambers giving him away.   

“Jeez, I’m not that bad,” you joked but he caught wrinkled brows of concern, following another lighter playful nudge on his arm. The contact teetered on the edge of overwhelming his processors.  

Neither of you talked about it.  

On came another Friday evening, a ping reminding you of a ‘Tomas’ looking forward to seeing you. Your dressing table mirror applauded the artistry of makeup whilst you merrily shoed up, throwing a text back via that dating app 2.0.  

“I’m so sorry! Can we reschedule?”  

“No show again,” you sighed, lying out of your ass, “how’s that android with the green hair doing for you?” 

“I’m afraid she does not feel interested anymore,” also a lie, Nines had pretty much blocked the persistent woman.  

Getting comfortable in the back row of your local cinema, which was supposed to be Nines escapade for the day, he passed you a popcorn bag, one he’d already bought for you. Lights dimmed at the title screen, Nines sneaked a glance at you, silently admiring the palette of your makeup. Nines liked it when you played with pigments, orange and purples finely painted on eyelids, bringing out the colour of your eyes. It pleasantly stimulated him.  

“What?” Curving in a half-smile, you caught his ogling.   

“You look lovely, detective,” it was pretty much routine at this point, to compliment you. Though this time, the air hung heavier, the smile never making it to his lips, his thirium pump straining for a beat when your vitals jolted the slightest.

He said it so sincerely; why did he sound so different? Your retort wasn’t given voice, a prickle of shivers meeting your extremities in a blush, you were glad the darkness covered for you.  

You swallowed down. He cleared his throat. The movie went on. But the heat of your body, the subconscious leaning on his arm, close enough he could decode the product in your hair, the movie wasn’t plenty distraction.   

And as if rA9 evilly taunted him, a couple cornered in the cinema audibly moaned, latched onto each like horny teenagers. You bobbed your brows at him, ‘kids these days’, but your skin grew hotter, ultimately arising a glitch or two in his system.  

“The movie was great,” you gulped a smile when he walked you home, kicking lone rocks, eyes weighed to the pavement, “I guess, I’ll- I’ll see you.”  

“Yes-,” he spoke too quickly, nodding, “I wish you a good night, detective.”  

You blinked, “you too. Goodnight to you too.”  

“Thank you.” His feet shuffled, “I shall go now.”  

“Get home safe, alright? Goodnight, Nines.”  

“Take care, detective.”  

Awkward couldn’t even begin to describe it.  

-.—.-  

The competition was long gone, dating threads snipped weeks ago when you decided to delete the apps once and for all. Nines had pulled from the single scene even before you did, gulping down excuses as to why he decided to bail on all his prospects.   

“No, we’re friends,” you’d say. Friends that helped each other down a couple drinks. Friends that slow-danced at New Jericho’s fancy dress party, to which Connor had invited you both. Friends that publicly teased each other with a flutter of eyelashes and hot heavy breaths.  

“Since when were you two dating?”   

“This is not a date!”  

Said you at a party where Nines was your plus one, glued to your side like your extension.   

It was getting ridiculous.  

Eventually, neither of you spoke about seeing other people, just assuming the other would turn up. On paper, and even in person, you both looked pretty stupid in denial.   

But one night, clinking afters with your department crew, did the dusted line between friendship and something more sharpen, something that made sense in the entanglement of your not-dates with Nines.  

Officer Wesley was clear in the intention to woo you and have you in bed, playfully raking his gaze and hissing out a compliment. He leaned in closer, elbow atop the bar front with a daring smile. Admittedly, you missed the thrill of being a tease, slipping your tongue out to wrap around the straw but not enough to give him a show. Wesley caught on your game, and for the officer he was, he’d happily play cat and mouse.   

But this time, things felt different and flirting with the dirty-blonde man felt wrong. Flirting with anyone felt wrong. And you couldn’t understand why.  

You flickered in the RK900’s direction, only to find him already watching Wesley talk you up at the bar. A heartbeat thumped particularly loudly when he held your eye contact, leaning back in his booth whilst tonguing his straw similarly to how you had done it.   

Fucking hell.  

“So, how about that drink?” The officer reminded, thumbing at the display of bottles behind the counter.   

Holy shit. You didn’t want to be like every other victim to the reeling of those darkened blue eyes, you weren’t like that.   

With a double take, you caught that damn triumph smirk on his face, as if he could see exactly what that tongue did to you, being on the receiving end of it. Fuck him, you wouldn’t let him win.   

Nines’ smirk faded as soon as you gave the officer your undivided attention, edging your barstool. Your touch crawling up his arm, soft lips leaning closer to his ear and speaking just out of earshot. It had the android inexplicably grinding teeth.  

That was another thing about deviancy it had taken him a while to calibrate; urges. The urge to partake in conversation, or flee from it even, the urge to tease you to the point your cheeks were coloured tomatoes. It was this urge that had an added darkness looming over you, two icicles boring into the back of your head.   

Sixth sense tied a thick knot in your throat.  

Wesley cleared his throat too, sitting up straighter, “Nines, you ah - you good?”  

The android didn’t look it, stalking over your shoulder like he’d no less bite into your neck and suck you dry in one go. But if this officer be a conquest you wanted to take to home, Nines would personally help you put on a show.   

That’s what good friends did, right? Help each other?  

He slitted fingers between chunks of your hair, pulling your head aside abruptly, the contact freezing you in place. You gasped as he lowered his mouth, speaking to the shell of your ear but loud enough for Wesley to pick it up, “we know you want to fuck our little detective, officer.”  

Nines dragged his lips against heated skin, tongue peeking out to taste you. And just as he expected, his HUD blasted with paintballs of colour at the encoding, his pump fluttering when your lashes did so.   

His other hand dragged up your waist, curving at the shape of your breasts and ghosting over your nipples. Lips replaced his tongue, and a trail of android saliva burned into your skin in his venturing down your throat. You took a staggering breath, forcing your eyes open, not realising they had closed.

“Your advances could use some work,” Nines spoke to Wesley, the man’s larynx bobbing at the sight of you melting.   

Large palms curled inwards on your thighs, pushing them apart on display and kneading flesh through fabric. You held back a moan, biting down on the feeling of leaking arousal. God, when did Nines feel so good?  

Nines smiled against your skin, lipsing down the expanse of your neck whilst you pretty much leaned to give him more room. His tongue prodded and lined the length of your passing artery, tasting your fastening pulse, you shivered under him. Even if rendered speechless, your body did the talking.   

Wesley couldn’t decide where to look, Nines prompted further.  

“You just need a little push.”  

Fingers roughly pressing between your legs, one push of a massage that forced a moan deep from your chest, and Nines retreated, taking a large step back. Wesley looked half as shocked as you did, your jaw clenching in the realisation of what just happened.   

Nines leaned carelessly on the bar, unbothered in leaving you aroused. That was his intention, no? To give you and your prospect a push in getting things going? Which is why he blinked confusingly when you shoved him, a frustrated scowl leaving your lips before you stomped out. Wesley sat glued to his chair, still recovering. Nines ran out after you.  

Light patters of rain met his scalp upon catching up to you. You groaned when he called your name.   

“You can’t just- do that!” You yelled, frustration grating your throat, showers dampening your hair, “you can’t just-“  

The android remained still, attempting to understand you with a series of yellow circles.   

“You can’t just touch me like that, Nines!”  

But his touch had arisen positive responses, his brow furrowed in confusion, “why?”  

You stumbled, eyes widening, “why- why? What do you mean why? You can’t go around touching up random people! It’s- it’s wrong!”  

You weren’t random people. Nines processed for a moment, rain splatters snugging the fabric of his sweater against his skin. His scanners quickly caught your gulp, “did you not enjoy it, detective? I assumed he needed a little push.”  

You blinked again, dumbfounded. Who gave him the right to put on a show for Wesley? What on Earth goes on in that metal brain of his?   

“That’s not- I wasn’t going to go home with him,” water collected on your lashes, “I don’t want him.” 

A wave of understanding struck him. He had misunderstood you and his ‘help’ stood void of reason. And recalling the way he stalked over you, no reconstruction software helped in justifying what he did, because the urge didn’t do it for you, it did it for himself.  

The warmth of your chest invited him, kisses digging into the valley of your neck whilst he continually decoded the electrolyte contents of your sweat. It quite literally fuelled him.   

Deviancy was a strange thing, though the only explanation for why Nines wanted to taste you again; he wanted to hear you breathe out his name, shaking with need, begging for more.

You shivered under water pellets, the silence weighing down each of your breaths. And hidden in the muddle of conflicted feelings, you craved Nines to touch you again, give you a warmth in frozen winds. Neither of you moved, and the ghostly burn of his lips longed for his return.   

“I’m going home,” you muttered, straying away from his scanners.  

He wasn’t your date. You weren’t together. But hell, if the assumptions of such didn’t make your heart flutter, you didn’t know what will. Besides, Nines was the embodiment of allurement, poised and perfect, what would he do with the likes of you?  

Arms wrapped around to wade off the cold, teeth chattering, you blinked a few before turning away to walk to your car, the gusts of wind trying to push you back. Nines wouldn’t see you as anything more than a friend, you were sure of it, but your disappointment was cut short when a firm grip latched around your wrist.   

He twisted you, swallowing a squeak with a collided kiss. The colours returned, blinding him tenfold in pretty pinks and bubbly yellows, prompting him to press a hand firmly on the base of your skull and keep you there.   

The tension in your spine remained, but you quickly came out of shock and fervently returned the moulding of your lips with his, hand trailing the flex of his pecs, damp fabric squelching under fingertips.  

The hand on your wrist migrated to the small of your back, pulling you closer. His tongue poked into your mouth, making you gasp at the added anatomy whilst he curled around ravishingly, wet sounds amidst the ambient splashes of rain. Both of your minds dazed, Nines blinking ambers at devouring you and you suddenly patting his chest with a light push.   

He pulled back to let you breathe but returned mid-inhale, this time eagerly tilting his head to see what better fit. He made out the whisper of his name between kisses, responding with an approving groan.   

“Nines,” you tried again, water running streams down your back as it poured heavier. You wondered if hypothermia was worth it, “nines, wait-”  

He kissed you passionately, hoping to swallow the colour of lips and paint his innards as such. Though he eased, slowing to a stop and you panted onto his jaw. He took in the sight, mimicked tears streaking your blue eyeshadow and mascara under the rain, he fought the urge to prod his tongue in your mouth again.   

He awaited your rejection. As you loved to remind everyone, Nines wasn’t your date, always the friend accompanying you instead. He’d be lying if he said watching you with other people didn’t bother him.   

But you didn’t scold him, nor push him away in a fury. You smiled, a toothy grin that you failed to bite away and broke into a soft giggle, “we’re in the middle of a street,” you shook your head, leaning a fraction of an inch closer, “and I’m soaking wet.”  

Nines pulled into a smirk, “you’re welcome.”  

There, the cherry rouge of your cheeks, that was another part of you he wished to consume wholly, preferably with his tongue.  

Everyone else felt wrong, but Nines felt right.  

And upon passing the threshold of your home, Nines proved the feeling to be mutual by meeting your lips again, vocally praising you when your arms wrapped around his neck. Kicking the door shut, his biceps wrapped you tight, squeezing the air in your lungs and suctioning it straight into his chassis.   

He stepped you back, tongue dancing with yours, his fingers tucking away wet hair from your face. You gasped as you hit the wall behind you, his hip bucking into yours with a noticeable erection.  

Hands rummaged under clothing, your damp shirt peeling off your skin with a gust of cold, leaving your hairs on end. The foyer’s air, however, grew dense when Nines hungrily eyed your body. Calm blue of his LED blinked an amber and he suddenly threw you over his shoulder.   

“Nines!” You shrieked, your protests dying as he caressed the back of your thigh. He carried you to your bedroom, bouncing you onto the mattress with a look that kept you frozen. You gulped in anticipation as he undressed whilst you were only stripped of your shirt.  

“Your body temperature has dropped to lower ranges,” he knelt between your legs, clasping your wrists immobile and kissing you into the sheets. You arched into him, gasping at the skin-to-synthetic contact. His lips ghosted to tongue at your jaw, a wet pad of the plastic muscle running up just below your ear.  

“I must heat you.”  

“You’re as cold as they come,” he pulled back to meet your remark, a teasing glimmer in your eyes. Nines kissed your collar, the sound of compensatory breaths prompting him to lower to your bra, unclasp it and swirl a perked nipple with his tongue.   

The moon slitted through blinds, painting him a blue that matched his temple. A warm breath breezed over your lower abdomen, fingers gripping the hem of your pants and shimmying them off. Wet skin made you sensitive to his touch, a tingling working overtime where he wrapped around your thighs, his lips hovering over your remaining underwear.   

Of all your dating partners, specifically those you had slept with, only a handful of them had been androids, and it never made it passed foreplay. Whether that be inexperience or hesitance, flings would be done after a touch-up.  

Nines had his fair share of sexual partners, learning what got people going and what fed his desires. But your unfiltered storytelling exposed you of kinks and likes that a curious android like Nines couldn’t help fantasising about.   

What would you look like under him? How did you sound when forced a rolling orgasm to ripple through you?   

A devilish smile made his lips before he took your undergarments in his teeth, lust-blown eyes watching how you shivered at the sight of him dragging them off. Wrapping around you twice as tight, he gave you a flat lick from slit to bud, pushing down your hips to stop your squirming. He was glad to find you were, indeed, soaking wet.  

Having him right there, head of brown bobbing up and down, experimentally sliding his tongue in places you didn’t know existed, the sight of him had you biting your lower lip, trying to chew down an embarrassing whimper.   

His tongue made circles around your clit, flickering left and right at a gasping pace. Your hands found his scalp, splitting his hair into sizeable chunks, holding on like the handlebars of a rollercoaster; and the way he looked at you, pupils swallowing icy blue into a predatory black, a shiver ran down your back, clenching your thighs against his biceps.  

Wet muscle prodded into your slit, eliciting a moan. You almost squealed when his thumb continued to press patterns on your clit whilst tongue-fucking you into the sheets. You pulled at the root of soft, chestnut hair, and he only picked up the pace, having you pant in line with his pace.   

You tipped over unexpectedly, crying out your orgasm with an abrupt push against his mouth. Nines crawled above you again, making you taste yourself with a deep, sharp kiss.  

To see you like this, body quivering for his touch, an undertone of pink blushing your skin, his field of vision saturated in the colour of you. He wanted more. He wanted to see you come undone again, paint you an orgasm that would stain him for the rest of his android existence. Maybe he understood why Markus created art so often, maybe abstract understanding was closer than he realised. Nines wished for nothing more than to place you high on a pedestal or pin you against the wall for reasons other than framing you a painting. 

“Every date you were bailed on,” he whispered confessions on your skin, gently lipsing your shoulders, “I cancelled mine to join you.” You stiffened under him, muscles taunt under his lips, he clarified, “I’d much rather have you than anyone else, detective.”  

Of course. You were right. Nines wouldn’t get bailed on that often, it was impossible. You mustered up enough air to speak, “if we’re confessing, I deleted the apps weeks ago.”  

Like the robot he was, he halted mid-kiss, a shifting yellow giving him away as it did back at the ice cream cart. You were both lying to each other, simply to be in each other’s company.  

You added with a tease, “you don’t have to lie to score a date with me, Nines.”  

“I thought I was ‘not a date’,” blue-greys accused you.  

“Yeah, I guess we’re both pretty stupid then.”  

Your smile brightened the room, despite moonlight barely filtering through your windows, corners bordering darkness. Nines mirrored the grin, dipping down to kiss you with a newfound heaviness in his chest. He pulled off his briefs, lips never leaving yours, and lined himself between spread thighs.  

Your breath hitched at the stretch of muscle when he pushed in, barely giving you time to adjust and pushing in further until he bottomed out. Or at least you hoped he did, you weren’t sure if you could take any more of him.   

Breathing in each other's pants, he rocked slowly, fingers bruising your wrists, lips bruising your neck. Nines grew desperate to see you in the colour of his lips, turning purples in broken blood vessels. His pelvis smacked again your clitoris, grinding an added stimulation, your head rolling back, moaning his name right into his ear.  

Setting a brutal pace abruptly, swallowing squeals in messy lip-locking, Nines stretched you to the teetering line of pain and pleasure, the head of his cock driving into a sensitive spot that jolted your nerves in bliss. He rutted like an animal, resting his forehead on yours, fucking you with a harsh snap of hips, your legs could only hold on for dear life. He loved to see the dip between your brows, raccoon-faced from messy makeup. It made him twitch inside of you.

“You feel so good. You look perfect,” he praised, bringing two fingers under your jaw to prompt eye contact. You met his darkened expression, his rouge curl tickling your forehead. Thumb shaping your lips, he pushed in knuckle-deep, pressing down on your tongue. You gave an instinctive suck as he growled, “you’re mine.”  

Every thrust brought about a new sound from your throat, and with your mouth forced half-open, there was little you could do to stop them. Your eyes rolled back, toes curling at a rolling orgasm, the sounds of sex driving you to buck into him as he did you.   

You were desperate, needy, and what was left of Nines’ restraint was snapped. He fucked hard, muttering profanities as he edged closer, seeing you at the mercy of everything he gave you flipping him inside out.   

He wanted to see you like this, again and again. His thumb subconsciously retracted his simulated skin, a ripple in your mouth that diverted your attention, and a glowing blue lit up from below the whites of his hand. An interface, the both of you realised. You moaned at his display of intimacy. 

Nines staggered into you, losing his rhythm. 

You looked good in blue.   

“Come for me.”  

And with sharp thrusts, you arched into a mind-blowing orgasm, limbs shaking as he continually dragged in and out to chase his own. He spilled with a throb, panting at the chance of painting you inwards as you did to him, and watched the slowed pumping of where the both of you connected.   

Though upon spotting a trail of blueish white leaking out of you, his hips bucked involuntarily, eager for another round.   

You moaned in euphoria, and that was enough for him to keep going.

It was no surprise Nines adored the sight of you decorated in his markings, growling in every painted colour you presented. So, the next steps carved themselves, and you had a great idea for your next date.   

Painting.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Day 8: Puzzle

These are the true events that happened to an other-worldian named Wes. He was abducted during the invasion of giants donning hazmat suits. The full version of this sneak peek I posted a while ago.

It’s been almost a month since I announced this so if anyone here is still interested, read away! (@ndrogyny, @not-a-space-alien, @bittykimmy13, @itrenchcoati, @smolghostbot, @kindii, @agh-agh-agh, @hellbreakher, @littlescaryinternetguy, @endersyneart, @pablozqui, @waitisthatgt, @patrocolus3, @truegears, @jakersdaboss, @prettykittyfox, @yeerkkiller96)

(tw this stuff is torturous horror fuel; a lot of people will be punished/die unfairly)(these ‘giant’ people are the antagonists of the story for good reason)

Life had always been so monotonous that I desperately wanted something, anything to change.  I didn’t mean like this.  It had happened so suddenly I couldn’t even properly react.  Gigantic beings clothed in sterile yellow-white hazmat suits and large filtration masks stepped out through a deep abysmal tear in the sky.  How is anyone supposed to react to that? 

They were taller than any building or tree as far as the eye could see — emotionless giants that trampled right over streets and houses as if they weren’t there.  The invaders tore off roofs, bashed out walls of buildings, and shredded open cars.  People were snatched hundreds of feet in the air, writhing and screaming.  Cages awaited them in the hands of other gigantic beings.  

I only regained my senses after something nearly missed falling on top of me from above.  It landed with a heavy thud behind me, nearly startling me into a fetal position.  I flinched away and whirled around to find a body; shattered bones tore through their skin, having been ripped open by the impact of the fall.  It wasn’t even a gorey mess — barely any blood either.  The body had simply been impaled by none other than its own bones, head bashed flat against the well-kept lawn.  I turned and ran as another limp form collided with a telephone pole, jerking and coiling around involuntarily at the incredible surge of electricity coursing through it.  I’d dodged the strike of the pole, but the electric snap it made alerted one of the giants in hazmat suits.  I ran for a nearby car as fast as my legs could carry me, scrambling beneath it with the thunderous sound of impossible footsteps right behind me. 

My labored breaths echoed around the underside of the car as I looked madly around all sides of me.  The thick-soled boot disappeared.  They’d lost sight of me.  I took a shuddering breath of relief, keeping watch for anything else.  Only a moment passed before I watched a pair of legs my own size dash toward my hiding place.  A kid about half my age got down on his knees and reached beneath the car.  “Please!  Let me hide here wit-  AAAAAHHHHHHHH!”  I threw my hands over my ears as he screamed.  Fingers as thick around as his body curled into him, dragging him up and out of sight.  The shadow of his kicking legs slid down the street and over the roofs of nearby houses as he was lifted, the rest of his body engulfed in the shaded blob of a gigantic fist.  I watched the shadow for as long as I could until it was too distorted by the distance to properly see much of anything else.  All the while, the kid’s pleas grew fainter and fainter until they disappeared entirely.

There was a brief moment of deafening silence before a loud thud startled me.  Long black rubber coils slid beneath the car, creating an awful metallic groaning sound as the entire vehicle was torn off the ground and into the air before being launched across the street.  Those coils were actually large fingers, now reaching for me.  I could barely get up before I was pressed against the flesh-warm rubber of the thing’s gloved hand.

The beginnings of a shriek escaped my lungs before it was squeezed out of me by fingertips digging into my back and chest, pinching me with crushing pressure.  Briefly, I tried to wriggle and claw my way out, fight or flight instinct kicking in and immediately choosing the latter.  Then I looked down.  A dizzying drop was laid out before me.  No wonder there were bodies falling from the sky; people were so desperate to escape the giants’ crushing grip that they were throwing themselves out into open air, and a long, deadly fall to the ground.  

Breathing as shallowly as I could, I managed to make it to my destination without falling unconscious from the pressure on my lungs.  Briefly, I made out a plastic cage with a wire mesh door — just like the kinds used for shelter animals.  The cage was opened for a split second and I was thrown roughly inside, landing against something hard and warm.  Whatever- whoever I landed on groaned painfully and I quickly tried to get off them.  It wasn’t easy.  The cage swayed as the giant moved somewhere else to get another victim, sending me and the person beneath me colliding with the side of the carrier.  A sob wrenched out of them as I finally scrambled back.  A woman who couldn’t have been more than a few years older than me stared up at me from the floor.  Her chest heaved and her eyes moistened with tears.  She whined as we were again jostled around, gripping her leg as her eyes squeezed tightly shut.  I glanced down at it and gagged.  Her whole right leg was twisted nearly backwards.

My shock was interrupted by the terrified screams of new people falling into the cage.  I backed up against the wall and tried to take in the place.  Between the humid, rancid air and the various sounds of people giving up on life, it was a grim picture.  Dull slitted lighting gave the whole thing a hazy waking-nightmare-like feeling.  Beams of light occasionally landed on awful scenes that made my skin crawl.  There was everything from people scream-crying to people vomiting or wailing in pain to people who just sat in wide-eyed silence, staring at nothing.

The next time the cage door was opened, I noticed in utter horror that some people were waiting by the opening, throwing themselves out intentionally just to ensure their death over capture.  A dying shriek reverberated through the air as an unlucky person got stuck between the metal bars as they fell closed.  Only half of them landed back in the cage, spraying everyone in close proximity with blood and gore.  Their severed legs writhed for a second before spasming and falling limply to the ground.  

My eyes were torn away from the awful scene by a familiar sob that came from beside me.  I turned slowly, still in shock, finding the woman with the mangled leg staring at the bleeding piece of body in distraught and terror.  Her whole body shook violently, and the wet glint of tears slid down her cheeks.  I slid a hand down and reached for hers, trying to comfort her.  She flinched away from me, eyes darting back to mine.  Recognizing what I had intended to do, she dragged herself closer, wrapping her arms around me and clinging to my side like a scared child.  I didn’t blame her.  I hadn’t expected it, and shied away from her touch at first.  However, the ride was long and she refused to let go for anything.  With all the nightmarish events happening around me, I soon found myself returning her frightened grip.

The cage was so jam packed within only about a half hour that people were trampling and climbing over one another because there wasn’t enough room for everyone to stand.  Bones and limbs were torn up or broken left and right as they were stepped or fallen on.  Most of it couldn’t be helped.  The cage swung along to the giant hazmat suit creature’s gait with no particular care for any of us passengers inside.  The stench of such close quarters made everything all the more unbearable.  Thank god I managed to get a spot against the wall and the thin breathing slits.

The woman at my side clung almost desperately to me then, trying to sidle her hurt leg between us so it wouldn’t be torn up further.  “What happened?” I asked her, gesturing at her leg.  It was the first thing I actually said to her.  She seemed slightly shocked that I’d spoken, and glanced down at it before forcing her gaze somewhere else.  “I- I was trying to hide under a stairway.  One of those g- giant things grabbed me by my leg, but I held on to the railing.  When I wouldn’t let go, they-”  She took a shuddering breath, “They yanked and twisted it until I let go.”  I sucked in a shocked breath of air.  “I- I’m Tanya.”  “Wes,” I replied.

We sat together in a small huddle as things continued getting worse around us.  What did the giant hazmat creatures want with all of us?  Why did they want so many people?  Where did they even come from?

Unfortunately, we found out where they came from soon enough.  With the cage full, the giant that held us stepped back through the tear in the sky.  The transition made my hair stand on end.  For the brief moment we passed through, everything became deathly cold, and I felt like I was being choked.  It was like a whole other world opened up on the other side.  I wasn’t close enough to the cage door to see anything outside, but the temperature dropped like we’d stepped into an air conditioned building, and echoes of unnaturally loud voices and footsteps bounced off walls.  Along with the sounds of normal activity, there was an awful cacophony of begging, screaming, and crying, warped into one raucous sound by the sheer size of the large room.

The cage was roughly placed on a rolling belt of sorts, sliding down into some unknown space.  Moments later, everyone was thrown partway into the air by the momentum of our cage hitting another in front of it.  Soon enough, a similar chain reaction happened as another cage hit ours from behind.  People started talking again, even yelling to those in other containers, searching for someone they knew.  The spiking panic never quite went away though we were now left alone on the conveyor belt; it couldn’t.  There were still the awful tortured noises, and with every move the belt made to pull us further, the closer the sounds became.  

Theories were thrown around as to what would happen to us come the end of the line.  Some thought we would be cast into a furnace and burned for energy, others thought we would be dissected alive.  Neither idea made much sense — the beings would take everything, not just us, if they were feeding a flame-powered engine, and if they were dissecting us alive.. surely they wouldn’t need thousands of test subjects, would they?  Despite neither guess being very logical, people were too scared to doubt anything.  Along with theorists, there were others banding together at the entrance, trying to scale their way up to the lock and pick it open.

For the entire tenuous time we waited, Tanya and I had our own quiet conversation, which was mostly me trying to disprove the deadlier theories, and her nursing her twisted leg.  However, after what might’ve been hours, the cage in front of us was hauled away.  A brief glimpse of a large glass holding cell flashed in front of us before a cover slammed down over the belt tunnel, stopping our cage from rolling any further.  Anxiety prickled through the crowd as more screaming and begging came from the voices we’d heard in front of us.  Everyone got quiet after that.

At last, the screaming briefly stopped, but that was worse.  The cries had always halted just before another cage was taken.  We were next.  Everything was suddenly hauled into the air, cage door thrown open.  All of us went tumbling into the basin we’d caught a glimpse of earlier.  Tanya fell on me that time, but neither of us cared much at that point.  We just wanted to know where we were.  Some people were unlucky enough to land at a very wrong angle.  Of them, there were a lot of broken bones and dislocated limbs, but a very unlucky — or maybe lucky — few had landed upside down, snapping their necks or spines in the process — dying pretty much instantaneously.  One of them was miraculously still alive, though.  They wheezed out choked tears before a gloved hand descended from above.  This glove wasn’t a thick rubber hazmat glove, but rather a thin steril blue one.  

All of us watched stunned as the person was lifted up by the gigantic appendage.  Frankly, I wasn’t even fazed by the near-dead person; I was fazed by the gloved being.  No one had been able to see them before.  They were covered head to toe in hazmat gear.  This one wore nothing but a doctor’s mask and surgical gloves, as well as a crisp white shirt with a small logo in the right corner that I couldn’t read.  Besides the being’s impossible size, it looked exactly like a person.  She looked like a person.  

The giant woman examined the wheezing, writhing person in her hand with a near deadpan expression.  With one swift move, she pressed their spine between her fingers and squeezed, effectively snapping the person in two.  Gasps and whimpers rose up around me as we all watched her casually toss the body into something below the tabletop where we sat, then dust off her hands like she’d taken care of a piece of trash rather than a dying human being.  Afterwards, her gaze landed on us.

She replaced her gloves with a fresh pair, then reached into the container.  Everyone scattered, trying desperately to avoid the hand that had just killed so easily.  Some poor soul was swept away, and they became the new spectacle for the rest of us to watch.  The man was strapped to a swiveling platform tray and brought beneath a large magnifying glass, lit up and attached to the side of the table.  She examined him, tested his reflexes, drew blood with an incredibly thin needle — it was like being seen by a gigantic doctor.  His blood samples were stuck into a machine for a minute while the giant continued to inspect his health.  Finally, as the blood samples returned, he found the courage to speak.  

“P- Please!  What do you want with us?”  The giant glanced up at him briefly, then finished reading the test results.  Without looking up, she replied.  “I want to make sure you’re in good condition.”  Confused silence.  “You are, by the way.  In good condition.”  Jotting something down on her clipboard, she looked up at the man strapped to the tray in front of her.  He squirmed slightly under her gaze.  “Why?”  She shrugged, “Pays well.”  Her massive gloved hands reached for him and he struggled as she undid his restraints and placed him in a different container.  It was smaller than ours and made of metal.  The side was labeled ‘passing containment’; there was another bin beside it, but the label was blocked by medical equipment.  “Alright,” the woman said with a sigh, “Who’s next?”

Everyone still evaded her grasp to the best of their ability, but someone was caught in the end.  They were strapped down and examined in the same way.  Her willingness to speak with us sent up a lot of questions from the group, but the giant ignored all of them.  The only one she did answer was the question of the person on the lifted tray in front of her.  “What will happen to us after this?”  Quietly, she drew their blood and stuck it in the machine again.  “I don’t know; that’s not my job.  I just make sure you’re healthy when you come in.”  “What if we aren’t?” someone called from somewhere to my left.  She glanced at our container.  “You go into that bin.”  A long finger pointed out the second metal container.  “Again, I don’t know where you go after that.” 

The machine dinged, signifying the blood sample’s results were back.  The woman turned to check on it, then huffed and checked again.  At last, she turned back to her ‘patient’.  “Do you know you have lung cancer?” she asked them.  The guy sputtered, looking around as if he expected the question to be part of some cruel joke.  “Wh- What?  No I don’t!”  “Says here you do.”  He shook his head angrily.  “Well, it’s wrong.”  The giant shrugged, reading from the machine.  “I’ll run the test again if you like.”  After another few minutes, the results remained unchanged.  “Well, into the unhealthy bucket for you.”  “What?!  What does that mean?!  What’s gonna happen to me?!?”  He panicked, trying to squirm out of her grip.  “I told you, I don’t know.”

Every person was subjected to the same basic checkup, and were tallied down on whatever papers the giant had on her clipboard.  All of us had to take a turn.  All of us were afraid she'd find something wrong.  Tanya shook me gently, “What happens when she gets to me?”  There were a few people with broken bones or dislocated shoulders that had gone through the giant’s evaluation.  She’d slid their tray into a black box-looking device and sat them in there for ten minutes or so.  Some people took more time than others, usually the ones with more severe injuries took the longest.  When they came out, their bones were perfectly rearranged and rebuilt.  Others with more serious problems — illnesses and missing limbs — were thrown into the dreaded other bin.  Funny; I doubt many of those without certain limbs had that issue before they were abducted.  “They’ll probably just stick you in the healing machine,” I told Tanya quietly, “You’ll be alright.”

I let her go first.  I wanted to be able to see what happened to her; if anything happened to her.  The giant went to strap her to the tray like usual, but hesitated as she noticed her twisted limb.  Her eyes narrowed, scrutinizing Tanya’s leg as she held it between two fingers.  I held my breath the entire time, eventually letting it out in a relieved huff as the giant finally strapped her to the tray.  She hadn’t immediately put her in the reject bin, or whatever it was.  However, instead of reaching for the syringe to take blood, or the tweezers to move limbs, or even the small dull hammer to check reflexes, the woman reached into a drawer beneath those tools, hand retreating with a sharpened scalpel.  My stomach dropped and Tanya struggled in her bindings.  “Wh- Wait!  What is that for?!”  The giant bent over her, “I need a better look at your leg,” she mumbled, not exactly to her.  

With expert movements, she cut a long thin slit down the length of the twisted pant leg.  “Wait.. what are you-”  Swapping the scalpel for tweezers, the giant pulled her leg out of her clothing, holding it up to the magnifying glass pinched between the metal prongs.  Tanya cried in pain, and I had to turn away.  Her leg looked so much worse without clothing to hide it.  No wonder she hadn’t stood up since I met her.  Not only was it twisted backwards, it was jammed up through her side, bone nearly impaling skin.  The awful image of the person who first fell from the sky flashed through my mind.  

“Yeah I.. don't think this’ll work,” the giant mused, “You’d probably die of shock if I stuck you in the Patching and Reworking device.  I’ll just stick you in the unhealthy bin.”  I spun back around just as Tanya started begging.  “No!  No, please!  I- I’ll do it!  I’ll try it!  If I die, I die!  Just don’t-”  Her voice cut off in a pained sob as she was taken from the tray and lifted into the air.  “Just let her try it!” I chimed in as she was lowered into the bin.  The giant turned to me with a surprised expression, but it quickly faded into a pitying one as she reached for me.  

“Sorry, little guy.  If any of you come to me alive, I have to keep you that way.  I can’t do it if it might kill her.”  She explained it to me as if I were a little kid, her voice lilting and patronizing.  “You snapped that first person’s spine!  The hell are you talking about?!”  She froze for a split second, eyes briefly darting to the bin beneath the counter.  I could see it now that I was high enough in the air, and I immediately regretted it.  There were way too many corpses in there.  Like, really too many — more than the population of the whole town.  How many places have they been to?  How many people are here?!

I couldn’t even speak as I was strapped down and checked over.  I was given the all clear fairly quickly, but I wasn’t worried about myself.  Struggling in the giant’s hand, I tried to peer into the ‘unhealthy’ bin as I was whisked overhead.  There were a few people lying on the floor, so I couldn’t even find Tanya before my vision was cut off by the metal walls of the bin.  The last of the people in our group were checked; a few were reunited on this side, happy just to be together, others looked like they wished they’d jumped out of the cage while they had the chance.  

With everyone done, the woman pressed a buzzer on the wall and finished up her work, dumping all the collective dead bodies that had complied during our trip into the bin beneath the table with the rest.  Soon, we were taken out of the room by another giant.  All anyone could see was the underside of our carrier’s head as they walked.  Some people tried to ask what was going on, but we were all ignored.  Our bin was deposited in yet another room.  We couldn’t see anything beyond the ceiling high above, but we could hear the voices of other people like us.  There was constant yelling, but that was nothing new.  All I and anyone could do was wait for our turn to find out what was happening.  My thoughts were preoccupied, though.  The only thing I could think about was what might happen to Tanya and everyone else in the other bin.  They weren’t being killed, right?  I had to hold out hope that they were being brought somewhere that could treat them with another strange miracle machine, and not anything else.  Please don’t let it be anything else.

Not that I really had the privilege to worry about someone besides myself.  The assembly line reached our bin.  Ten at a time, people were scooped up and shoved into shelving that lined the wall.  I ran away from the oncoming hand like everyone else, but where could we even run to?  What was the point of delaying the inevitable?  

I was shoved haphazardly into one of the shelves, which turned out to be a normal-sized room, decorated with nothing but a few rows of cots and two vertical empty tubes that stuck through both the floor and the ceiling.  One small section with a sink and a toilet was blocked off by a curtain.  All the walls were an empty, clean white except for one.  The wall on the opposite side of the opening was made of glass so we could be viewed by whoever was passing by.  It made my adrenaline spike for no reason other than the uncanniness of it all.  A few others — nine others to be exact — were locked in with me.  The final white wall fell closed on us with a dull click.

We all stared around at eachother — took it all in.  There were three women, one of which sank to her knees and started bawling.  The other two just glanced around uneasily.  Three other guys beside myself stood around as well, two of them helped the crying woman onto a cot.  The others were just kids.  One of them was glued to the side of a man that hadn’t moved, and the last kid stood alone in the furthest corner.  She might be closer to adulthood, but there was something about her features that made her seem younger.  

It was about four days until our room opened up again, but I learned quite a lot in those first few hours alone.  The younger kid was only nine years old, and the man he refused to let go of was his father.  They were Jim and Darian.  I thought the mother might have gotten separated from them during the day we were abducted, but she’d actually separated from them long before then.  

The woman who’d cried throughout the whole first day had been taken from her wife and two kids, and she was fully convinced they were in the room next door.  After calming down from crying, she began to call through the walls.  Everyone kept trying to quiet her — the walls were soundproofed — but nothing could stop her from trying.  She was Lucille.  

The oldest person, the other man who’d tried to help Lucille up, had complained the most about her whining, and quickly began to resent her.  He resented everything, though.  That was Mr. Ferguson.  

The two other women were about my age, as well as the other guy.  We formed a sort of apocalypse committee where we hatched plans to escape.  Well, Brendon, Sylvi, and I came up with escape plans.  Emma, the eldest of us, shot them down.  We let it slide though, because she was basically the mom of the group.  She was practical, and reasoned with everyone, even Mr. Ferguson, without losing her temper.  No one knew why or how, but it was nice to have someone who wasn’t freaking out.  The older teen I never got the name of.  She hasn’t spoken a word since she was put in here.

Our first night, we claimed beds and Emma assured us that we would be alright here.  They’d checked our health and gave us a place to stay, which was a pretty clear sign they wanted us alive and well.  For what, no one knew, but at the very least we weren’t strapped down or kept in those awful cages.  Brendon determined that the best thing was being able to understand our captors.  His first plan of many was to try and guilt-trip one of the giants into letting us go, but everyone thought that was an awful idea.  None of them seemed very apathetic to our situation.  

While we argued over what we could do, the pipes rattled in the wall.  Our conversation came to an abrupt halt as water sloshed into a basin that jutted away from the tube.  Moments later round pellets scattered down the second tube, falling into a similar basin.  Everyone glanced around uneasily.  The food smelled unappetizing at best, and the way we were fed was so eerily similar to a small animal or pet that it made my hair stand on end.  Now that the idea was in my head, the entire room looked like a cage in a pet store, minus the cots and bathroom amenities.

Just as all of us began getting used to the new routine, things changed for the worse.  Again.  Mid-morning, shortly after the next round of water and pellets made their way through the tubing, the back wall was pulled away.  All of us raced to the opposite end of the room, pressed up against the glass.  A gloved hand reached in for us.  I was pressed tightly between the others, all of us desperate to get back.  

Despite our warnings against it, Brendon slid to the front to speak.  “When can we go home?” he asked, “We’re thankful you’ve given us a place to stay here, but we don’t want to stay!  Whatever you want with us — will you take us back afterwards?”  The human sneered, hand retreating from the room.  A moment later their head ducked into view to look at him.

“Sure, we’ll release you once we’re done with you.”  Before anyone could react, the giant’s hand reached in and dragged Brendon out into the same type of bin we’d been carried there in.  The rest of us were gathered up shortly after.  I don’t know what I expected to happen to me, but it certainly wasn’t what did happen.  I was stuck in a small room even for my own size, and given a ridiculously long exam.  Yep.  A paper bubble sheet and booklet exam where the booklet of problems was as thick as a novel and the answer sheet spanned several pages.  I started taking it when I was told to by some giant outside the room, but after a while, I got up and wandered around.  There was a metal box in one corner that I hadn’t investigated.  Turns out, it was a fridge with concessions.  A suspicious amount of concessions.

Hours in, I’d taken about a quarter of the test out of boredom, when at last I heard another voice.  It was a giant walking by.  “Wait!  Hello?” I called, hoping they’d stop, “When is test time up?  When do we finish?”  I didn’t plan on taking the entire exam, which consisted of math, grammar, science, mechanics, illusions and puzzles, almost anything you could think of to solve.  It was way too much for something I could care less about.  “Your time is up when you finish,” came the giant’s response.  “I..  Do you really expect me to finish all of this?  This’ll take days!”  I heard an annoyed huff.  “Then you better speed it up, then.  I’m not allowed to let you out until you’re done.”  Just to spite them, I filled in all my remaining multiple choice answers as C, and any free response ones with whatever shit I could think of to write the giant overseers.  It still took me a while just to do that and chuck all of it into the bin that slid out of the wall once I answered everything.

I was met with an extremely unamused look when I was let out.  The giant above me lifted me up between two fingers, frowning at me.  “Really?  You didn’t even try.  That’s going to mess up your results.”  I tried to say something back, but I could barely breathe, and all I could do was wheeze.  “Oh!  You can’t..  Here.”  Their hand opened, letting me fall into a palm the size of a small car.  “Th- Thanks,” I said weakly.  “I would've tried a bit harder if you’d let me have a fucking break.”  The giant shrugged, bouncing me up and down with the large movement.  “You could take as many breaks as you wanted; you just had to stay in the box.”  

He ended up putting me back in my new room.  It wasn’t that much of an improvement.  No one else was even there.  I guess none of them had figured out that they could just bullshit every answer to get out early.  Remembering Brendon’s idea, I tried one last brief conversation.  This was a giant I hadn’t met before — one that had the decency to stop crushing me to death, which was still awful, but it was better than the others.  It couldn’t hurt to try.  

“Hey!” I yelled before the wall was closed, “When do we get let out of this room?”  When will you be done giving us stupid tests?  Why are you even-”  The giant’s face darkened, and I quieted anxiously.  “W- What?”  My voice echoed almost fearfully in the empty space.  “Nothing,” he responded with a quick shake of his head, “I just...  Don’t count on going back to your world anytime soon.”  With that, he shut the door.

“Wait!  WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!”  It was no use shouting now.  The soundproofed walls would’ve kept him from hearing anything.  I sulked in silence until someone came back.  Sylvi was tossed back in a hurry almost four hours later; she’d been fighting through the two-handed grasp the giant had on her, caught inside the tightly enclosed space between their palms.  She spat a few curses before the wall was sealed off.  A shuddering breath escaped her lungs as she knelt on the floor where she’d been tossed, and I was scared that she’d start crying.  She snapped out of it the moment she spotted me.  “How did you get back so early?” Sylvi asked, quickly rubbing her face while she was turned away from me.  I explained to her how I decided to finish the test; she had a good laugh at that.  

The next to come back was the youngest kid’s father.  He paced back and forth the entire time until his son came back.  He was the last one because he’d actually been trying his hardest.  It took him a day or two to actually finish everything.  Again, Brendon, Sylvi, and I all argued over why they’d given us that test.  Even Mr. Ferguson offered his opinion.  The consensus was: we had no fucking clue.  Abducting probably hundreds of thousands of people just to test them didn’t make sense.  That night we all managed to get some decent sleep with everyone returned back.  It’s a good thing we did.  The following day we were all taken out again.

One by one, we were all stuffed away into a large container with others in the same row.  I flinched as someone started sobbing behind me.  Lucille rushed over to a woman huddling two kids close to herself and threw her arms around all three of them.  The other woman — her wife, presumably — pulled her beneath her chin, kissing the top of her head.  My heart wrenched in my chest knowing they’d be separated again.  Memories of Tanya hugging me close threatened to make my eyes water, but I shook away the pain.  She’s being healed up.. somewhere else.

Our group’s destination was a gigantic room about the size of a stadium, yet it was still dwarfed by the giant-sized room it sat in.  We were all dumped in and sealed up inside.  I tried searching for anyone I knew from before all this, but there were way too many people to pick out any familiar faces.  A few billboard screens flickered to life around the room minutes after we were left alone.  Welcome to your first assessment! a voice cheerfully greeted us from the speakers, In this trial, your goal is simple: leave the room before time runs out!  

First an exam, now an escape room?  Along with a way out, there will be numerous surprise chests scattered throughout the room, which reset every time they’re opened!  You can win all sorts of cool prizes!  Examples of them flashed across the screen, showing more comfortable amenities, private rooms, better meals, medication, and so on.  What caught my attention was the prize of choosing a roommate.  Sure, I could pick someone I knew, but if Tanya was somewhere worse off, I could at least get her to my uncanny, but otherwise tolerable place of living.

But watch out! the automated voice warned, Some of the boxes can spring punishments instead of prizes, so choose wisely!  An animated stick person opened a chest onscreen during the warning.  Moments later the cartoon effect of being zapped with electricity made their skeleton flash briefly across the screen.  

The introduction video seemed so innocent it almost didn’t seem real, like this was all something pretend.  But don’t worry; none of the punishments are lethal, so try your best!  Despite the obvious dangers, I swore to myself that I’d try it at least once, just to see.  Remember, get out before time runs out, and good luck!  With that, the entire stadium rumbled to life. 

Giants herded everyone into different hallways that had opened up around the stadium.  People started yelling, getting separated from others they found in the crowd.  I was corralled down a hall where I knew no one, but it didn’t matter much to me.  We’d be put back in our weird rooms at the end of it all, anyways.  

When we finally stepped out, the automated voice said: Trial Start!  And the whole place lit up.  Smooth grey walls shot up from the ground in random patterns, creating a labyrinth of hallways and cutoffs.  I stared in horror as people rushed past me, driven by the timer flashing above our heads.  Everything had clicked in my mind.  This isn’t an escape room, it’s a maze — a maze of incentives and punishments for comparatively small living things to navigate for the gigantic scientists watching everything just outside.  No wonder we’d been tested.  No wonder we were kept in uncanny pet store rooms with little fucking food and water dispensers.  We’re lab rats.  All of us.  And no one’s going home.

My existential crisis would have to wait, though.  I’m on a time limit.  I wandered the plastic halls searching for the exit before remembering the potential prizes.  I didn’t want to give the scientists the satisfaction of learning some sort of lesson, but at the same time, the prizes were hard to pass up.  The next time I came to a dead end in the maze, there was a small box at the end of it.  I hesitantly stepped up to the podium where it sat and threw the lid open as fast as I could, bracing myself for something to happen.  Nothing.  Looking down, there was a small slip of paper inside.  GOOD FOR ONE MODIFIED COT it read.  Damn.  Not the one I was looking for, but I’d definitely take it over electrocution or whatever else had been rigged.  

When I came across the next box, I was nearly shoved to the ground by someone wanting to get to it first.  I watched from against the wall as they flipped open the lid and reached inside.  This was followed by the noise of a mechanical lock. “Shit!  Not again!”  The person who shoved me strained to move away from the box, but their arm was locked into it by a metal clamp.  A punishment in action.  I’d heard people yelling about them, but I hadn’t seen one actually happen.  It didn’t seem all that bad.  

On my search for a different box, I came across the exit.  There were a good deal of people already outside, but I wanted to try one more box, so I turned and headed back into the maze.  I opened the next box expectantly, only to be blasted in the face with a bucketload of freezing water.  Damn the psychology of this maze bullshit.  I’m going back to the exit.  What direction was that again?  

I glanced up at the timer; five minutes left.  Surely I could find it by then.  As I raced back through halls I might’ve been down before, I caught sight of a group of three panicked people.  Two of them were desperately trying to get the other’s arm out of one of those traps.  If it didn’t unlock soon, they’d have to leave them there and make a run for the exit.  That’s if they knew where the exit was.

Thankfully, I managed to find it with a little more than a minute to spare.  I didn’t know what would happen if I was in there past the time limit, but I didn’t want to find out.  The second the timer ended, a wall slid up from the floor of the maze and blocked the opening.  Those of us who’d gotten out were congratulated by the automated voice and herded into another bin before being lifted away.  Through the hazy plastic, I could catch what the punishment was for not making it out.  

The whole maze had shifted.  Walls had gone up everywhere so the interior of the box was filled.  For a brief and terrifying moment, I thought they’d filled the box completely, crushing anyone still left inside.  Then I noticed little pockets of space.  They couldn’t have been bigger than six by six foot squares.  Anyone who didn’t make it out was forced to sit in a little claustrophobic box within the maze.  Who knows when they’d be released.

I was lifted out of the container a while later and scanned by some sort of machine before being placed back in the room.  I’ve never been more relieved and repulsed by a place in my life.  The others were all put back too.  Well, almost all the others.  Mr. Ferguson hadn’t made it back.  Each person shared some sort of story about what they saw except Lucile, who sat on her bed in teary-eyed silence.  Emma’s story was the worst.  She saw someone — still sopping wet from a water-based punishment like mine — get an electrocution punishment back to back.  They’d spasmed and hit the floor unconscious.  She’d rushed over to help them, but had to leave them behind.  

“They were still breathing, thank god.  But I couldn’t do much else for them.  Hopefully they woke up before time ran out,” Emma said with a shudder.  “We.. we’re being experimented on, aren’t we?” Sylvi asked, glancing around at everyone, “This is far from over.”  “We’re just lab rats,” I added solemnly.

Everyone was in a pretty gloomy mood after that, but right before dinner, the wall behind us opened up again.  A jolt of anxious fear spiked through me.  I thought we were being dragged off to another test.  “Any of you want to cash in a ticket?” the giant asked.  I forgot about that.  Digging into my pocket, I pulled out mine and hesitantly raised my hand.  “Alright, give it to me.”  Their outstretched hand slid into the room and everyone backed off.  From as far away as I could, I passed them my slip of paper.  The giant stuck it into some kind of reader, then nodded.  He reached for something below what I could see, and brought up a whole bed.  “Which one is yours?” he asked, nodding to the cots.  I pointed it out and he replaced it.  

“Anyone else?”  Jim lifted his hand hesitantly.  “I- I have a lone room, but I..  Can I bring my son with me?”  The giant narrowed his eyes in thought.  “Hmmm…. You won it, so I guess you can decide.”  Jim nodded happily, “In that case, you can take my ticket, and I’ll bring my son.”  He handed off the ticket and both he and the little guy were taken to a different room.  None of us ever saw them again, and frankly, I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing.

Mr. Ferguson finally returned as the rest of us were going to bed.  Brendon dared to ask him what had happened, and he mumbled under his breath something about having to repeat an entirely different maze before he was allowed to leave.  He only spoke one other time to ask where Jim and Darian were before silently going to sleep.  Speaking of, that night was the first night I’d slept longer than an hour at a time.  My new bed was no joke.  It felt like a normal mattress from the beds back home.  It probably is.  They probably stole it.

The next day was apparently a rest day.  Brendon, Sylvi, and I tried again to come up with a plan of escape.  Even Emma got involved.  She was beginning to doubt her own idea that the giants wanted us safe.  They wanted us alive so we could be experienced with.  “What if we just refuse?” I asked the group, “I did that for the test and all the punishment I got was a stern talking to.”  “Or they could pour boiling water on you,” Sylvi interrupted me, “or fucking blind you.  That’s how they punished me in the maze.”  I groaned, “But that was when you were playing their game!  What if we decide to just sit out?”  “Somehow, I don’t think they’ll let us do that anymore,” Emma said solemnly.

“I’ll try it.”  Everyone turned to the person who’d spoken.  It was the teen who previously hadn’t uttered a word.  She slowly glanced between each of us like she was confused why we were all staring at her.  “I’ll refuse to do the next test.  I don’t really care what the giants will do to me, anyways.”  We all glanced worriedly at eachother.  “A- Are you sure you want to try that?” Emma asked, “They.. can do a lot worse than what they’ve been doing if they wanted to.”  She nodded, and it was settled.

The following day we were all dragged off again.  Another maze awaited us, only this one was filled with visual puzzles.  Another automated video explained the different systematic sections of the game, but I could hardly concentrate.  Again I searched the waiting room for someone I knew.  There were less of us today.  I recognized two people from my town, but I didn’t know them well enough to bother going up to them.  When the gates opened, I stayed towards the beginning for a second, watching the teen.  She stood unmoving at the entrance.  A giant told her to go in, but she shook her head; I watched her speak to the giant, then yell at them.  Their fist slammed into the ground beside her and I flinched.  Miraculously, she remained still.  

In one swift movement, the giant picked her up by her arm and dragged her inside it himself.  I dashed behind a corner to watch how things played out.  Despite being literally manhandled, she still refused to move from wherever the giant put her.  The only way she’d complete the puzzles would be if the giant did them for her, and that would defeat the purpose of our little experiment.  “Do the damn puzzles you little bitch!” the giant growled angrily, “Or I’ll put you in an experiment that you can’t refuse to participate in!”  A forced experiment?  They have those?  Briefly I zoned out, thinking through what that might look like, when I heard a loud yelp.  The angered giant had snatched up the girl rather forcefully, taking her away to some other place.

I tried to complete the test as fast as possible, hoping to see what happened to her, but the puzzles became too complex to speed through them.  The first part of the maze was a mirror maze, similar to the ones in funhouses.  That would end, and I’d be given another one.  About five mazes in, I realized they all had the same layout, and rushed through.  My sixth attempt, some scientist must’ve realized I’d solved the puzzle because the next room was completely different.  Similar little mindfucks were presented to me throughout the day.  I was starving by the time I made it out.  When I was placed back in my room, there were food pellets waiting for me.  It was the first time I enjoyed eating them, though their taste was still horrific.

All of the others were returned one by one.  And finally, lastly, the teen who’d refused.  I still don’t know her name; I don’t think she’s given it.  Everyone was anxious to hear what happened to her, especially since she was sopping wet — a sign of a few of the punishments.  All of us crowded around her as she relayed her story.

“It-  They put me somewhere different,” she told us, “I refused to do any of the maze so they put me into one where I.. I didn’t have a choice.”  She choked on her last sentence, taking a shaky breath.  “I.. I killed someone.”  Her whisper sent chills down my spine.  I could feel the hair on my arms prickle against my clothing.  “It wasn’t my fault!” she exclaimed suddenly, “They-  The test, it- it made me!  I-I couldn’t save them!  I tried!  I really tried!”  “What are you talking about?” Mr. Ferguson asked.  “What.. What do you mean you killed somebody?” Brendon asked quietly.  “They.. It’s..  There’s this deep empty basin,” she exclaimed.  “The giants tell you that you have to climb out, which is easy enough; there are footholds in the side of one of the walls.  Then they…”  She took another breath and Emma sat down beside her, offering some comfort.

“They put another person in there with you, right as they announce that the trial is starting.  The other person.. they were covered in chains and weights.  They could barely move.  They were angry and confused, and I tried to explain what was happening, but then the water started coming in.”  She was silent for a bit.  “They were weighed down.”  Her voice grew quiet again.  “They started drowning.  I- I tried to help them up the wall, but they were too heavy.  Th-They begged me to help them, b-but I couldn’t lift them!  They- I-  I had to let them go!  Don’t you understand?!  I would’ve drowned too if I didn’t drop them!”  The girl broke off and started wailing.  Emma hugged her close with a darkened, faraway look.  The rest of us stared around at eachother in horror.  There were worse punishments.  A lot worse.

Throughout the week we were tested over and over again, except for that teen.  Every single day she was put in a basin with another person chained up.  Every single day she had to watch someone die in front of her, knowing she couldn’t save them.  One day, she didn’t come back.  No one wanted to ask why, but Lucille did.  “Oh,” the woman who’d come to get us responded, a bit shocked she’d been spoken to.  “The one in the Basin Trials?  She died — drowned trying to save someone she couldn’t.  It was an anomaly case.  Usually she gives up on the victim eventually, but that time she didn’t.”  She shrugged, “Our hypothesis is that she might’ve known them, but we can’t be sure.”

I don’t know how long it’s been since everything started; time seems.. I don’t know.. blurry?  It’s not definite anymore.  Now time is based on whenever food and water get delivered, and when the day’s trial happens.  Sometimes it’ll be just you alone in a room — tested physically, mentally, or both.  Other times you have to work with or even against others.  I don’t know what I did to attract attention to myself.  I think it’s because I keep solving the logic puzzles too quickly, either that or it’s because I helped someone with theirs.  Whatever the reason, suddenly I was brought to a completely different test.  Alone.

The ever-present automated voice told me what to do while I stood in an empty room.  It was uncanny.  I hadn’t had time alone since.. I don’t know.  The screen in front of me showed the rules to the game, which was basically Tetris.  I had to stack and clear rows of differently-shaped blocks without letting them hit the top.  If I did, I would be punished.  I’m familiar with the punishments by now, not that I’m used to them.  They’re still awful.  

When the room opened up, a slim glass box sat in front of me, as tall and long as a gymnasium, but only thin enough to fit two people shoulder to shoulder.  The pieces would fall in from the slot at the top, and I had to control where they fell in the box with a joystick and button console in front of the giant glass box.

I stood at the controls, expecting the voice to announce the game’s start, but it was still silent.  Suddenly, a back door opened, and three people were shoved inside.  They all stood at the bottom, where I had to stack blocks.  “Wh- What?!” I gasped, looking around for a giant supervisor — there was usually at least one.  That time, there weren’t any.  “I…  Why are there people?”  The automated message again stated how to win.  “I know how to win!  B-But there are people down there!  What do you want me to do, kill them?!”  The only response I got was: Trial Start!

A large block about four feet tall slid down from the ceiling, and everyone inside panicked.  They couldn’t see me on the other side, but they knew someone was controlling things on the outside.  That first run was too confusing; I just piled all the blocks in one long line at the opposite end of the glass box from the people inside.  One of them was significantly slower at moving than the others — I had to be wary of her.  The game ended rather quickly as I stacked a pile up to the ceiling.  The moment I did, electrical currents ran through the floor, briefly burning me from the inside out.  I spasmed, falling onto the controller in front of me.  Gasping for air, I glanced up at the people trapped between the glass.  Did they know what was happening to me out here?

I stumbled over, reaching for the glass.  My heart jolted in my chest as I got a good look and the designated victims for the first time.  The slower one.. it was Tanya.  I wasn’t sure at first; I hobbled over to the glass beside her, putting a shaking hand against it.  It really is her.  Her leg had healed all wrong, and she couldn’t even bend it.  “Tanya!” I yelled for her, but she didn’t react.  You’ve started a losing streak! the automated voice stated cheerfully.  The more times you lose, the harsher your punishment will become!  Let’s start another round!  “I- I don’t want to do this anymore!” I shouted at the machine, “This isn’t right!  I…  Why do you want me to kill them?!  This isn’t an experiment; this is torture!”  Trial Start!

Again, I stacked the blocks in a single line up to the top.  I didn’t know what else to do.  Obviously, I wasn’t going to hurt the people trapped in there, but there weren’t many alternatives.  For my next punishment, they’d upped the voltage.  A shriek exploded from my lungs as waves of electricity tore through my skin, leaving parts of me burnt.  I lay on the ground, wheezing for ragged breaths.  If I keep this up, I’ll die.  If I don’t keep it up, they die.  What if..  What if I just try building around them?  I can still complete rows above them, I just have to get the right pieces to suspend the rest of the blocks.

The next time the machine said Trial Start I put my plan to work.  The designated victims couldn’t hear or see me, so I had to herd them with blocks to somewhere safe.  It was hard, but I managed to build a small space for the three of them to huddle in while I filled up the rest of the board.  I began scoring points.  Enough of those and I can secure a win, breaking my nasty streak of losses.  However, my plan began failing after only a few minutes.  The tight space I’d left was surrounded in layers of Tetris-like pieces, sealing off air from getting in.  Around ten minutes after enacting my plan, the victims began banging on the glass walls of their accidental prison, shouting that they couldn’t breathe.

In a panic, I let the pieces stack up and ended the game.  I hadn’t won, but at least everything would clear away.  All three people collapsed thankfully to the floor as their airtight box vanished.  Relief briefly calmed my heart before I was thrown to the ground by another large shock.  It hurt so badly I myself couldn’t breathe, and when it finally ended, I cried out in fear and staggered upward.  I couldn’t see.  Everything was dark and swirling like my eyes were closed, but I knew they weren’t.  A minute or two of cursing and crying, my vision finally cleared.  A smile involuntarily spread across my face, relieved that my vision had returned.  Trial Start!

I wanted to violently bash whoever was controlling this game with a fucking baseball bat.  Desperately, I tried to form another plan, trying to build a staircase out of blocks so the people inside wouldn’t be stuck at the bottom, but keeping up an even staircase was hard to do without accidentally stacking pieces a bit too high.  Even then, it was pointless.  Tanya couldn’t get up the makeshift stairs in time thanks to her damaged leg.  The others did try to help her, but only after they’d gotten themselves out of the way first.  I was only a few pieces away from losing again.  Fearing for my own life, I quickly spammed the buttons on the controller.  Rows cleared.  Blood trickled down them.

I won the game with enough points, but the game wouldn’t end.  Looks like there’s still a hazard left on your game board!  Your game will continue until it’s cleared!  Tanya was still on the board.  She was the only one I spared.

She lay on a flatter part of the stacked blocks, hands over her head like she expected to be crushed at any moment.  I tried to avoid her as long as I could.  The game just kept going.  Twenty minutes in, and she just sat there staring at the glass, confusedly watching piece after piece fall around her, but never on her.  All that effort, only to hit the top and lose.  “Wait!  Wait, please!  I won!  I got almost double the points you wanted me to!  You didn’t say I had to kill everyone to end the-”  My open mouth frothed out saliva as I was electrocuted again.  I spasmed and shook and foamed at the mouth like I’d gone insane, then passed out.

Blindingly bright light gleamed directly into my eyes when I woke up, making my head throb.  A moment later, it was blocked out by someone sitting above me.  “T- Tanya?  Did.. I save you?”  She sobbed, gently lifting my torso up so she could hug me.  “Oh god, it was you out there.  I.. I wondered why the controller kept trying to keep me alive.”  I tried to speak, but only coughed.  Tanya lowered me back down.  “Where are we?” I asked faintly.  Trial Start!

Adrenaline spiked through my veins, getting me up in an instant.  There were glass walls all around me, two of them much further away than the others, like the inside of an ant farm.  A shadow passed briefly overhead before sliding somewhere else.  “What…?”  My stomach dropped as a larger-than-life Tetris block thudded to the ground behind me.  Oh.

I glanced back at Tanya and she gave me a heartbroken expression.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.  “I…  I think we’re going to die.”  Tears welled in my eyes and I brought her close.  Another shadow fell over us and I dodged it, dragging Tanya along with me.  I tried climbing the side of some blocks like stairs, but she couldn’t do it.  Tears slid down her cheeks and she shook her head.  “No.  No, I’m not letting this happen!” I yelled frustratedly.  Rushing back down the block, I hoisted her into my arms, and climbed up the side of it carrying her.  Her eyes widened — tears stopping briefly as she stared up at me in shock.  We managed to bide our time for a bit longer that way, but eventually my arms gave out beneath her and we landed in a painful heap.

“Wes,” she addressed me in a defeated whisper.  “Thank you, but you have to leave me.”  “N-No, I-”  “Please!  If.. If there’s a chance you can make it out of here…”  “No, no, no, there’s no point!  Get out and do what?!  Come back here tomorrow to crush more people to death to earn points in some sick fucking game?!  I just-”  My voice cracked as a shadow slid over us.  “I want to stay with you.”  

I was pulled forward suddenly, lips suddenly locked with mine.  Tanya’s breath was hot on my face as she kissed me with a passion that could only be brought out in someone’s last moments.  Darkness gradually surrounded us as the lights above were blocked by a descending object.  I returned Tanya’s affection, sliding her up until she was pressed against me.  My eyes squeezed shut as the last of the light died out.  I focused on the two of us — bodies close, breath synched, mouths locked on eachother.  Then it was over.

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents can sometimes make you feel like you have to explain your every intention, every thought and action to them into fine details, or they'll assume the absolute worst and judge and punish you because 'how were they supposed to know you weren't trying to do the worst shit possible, you didn't explain yourself and your actions could have been misinterpreted'.

This, in turn, can give you a type of anxiety that makes you feel like you owe everyone a big explanation of everything you say and do. It makes you stop and anxiously convince everyone of your intentions, thought process, defend yourself as if they've attacked or misinterpreted you, even give them possible ways to misinterpret, and try to inform them that your actions are, in fact, justified and well-intentioned. Even if nobody challenged you, even if nobody said anything that implies doubt. You yourself conclude that if your parents judged and misinterpreted you so harshly, this must be normal, you have to expect it from everyone, that you have to go and predict it and take measures before it happens, to prevent it.

It makes people notice how anxious and filled with self-doubt you are, and also gives people endless insight in where you're vulnerable, insecure, and where they could possibly manipulate and exploit you. When you give someone details to defend yourself, they're now aware of information about you that you would normally not give to them, you only gave it only because you felt you must, to protect yourself.

This, in fact, does not protect you, it gives your vulnerabilities away. Which is exactly why the abusive parents have been doing it. They invented a scenario where they're entitled to your entire thought process, to every detail of your intentions, everything they could possibly judge, poke at, question, make you doubt yourself more. Abusers you meet in the future will also pick up on it, and target you because they're delighted to have someone displaying vulnerability where usually it would take a lot of trust-gaining to get it.

Abusers, on the other hand, act the exact opposite. They explain nothing, give no insight, no information, and instead demand from you, that you to assume the best. If you don't, you're met with contempt, shaming, humiliation, even rage. If you dare to challenge their actions, it's always your fault for assuming, not theirs for 'not explaining themselves'. You get told that you should have been smarter, that you're dumb, ignorant, shallow or downright hurtful and cruel if you challenge them. Even if their actions are looking very maliciously intentioned, you're supposed to think of a deep, emotional justification and go with that.

They're both extreme responses, one is of extreme vulnerability and defense, and the other is of deceit and offense. There's a neutral middle ground that is healthy – and it's the one of not explaining yourself, but not attacking anyone for challenging you either. Letting people think what they want, safe in knowledge that this time, nobody can hurt you for it. Phrases like 'I'm sorry, that's private', or 'I don't owe you that information' or even jokingly 'that's confidential' or 'yes, I am a criminal on this land, intending to destroy the nation' can help you in the times you're being unfairly challenged.

When you're not, you don't need to volounteer to doubt yourself. People do generally assume that everyone else knows what they're doing. There are some who think nobody knows what they're doing, and you're not gonna convince those anyway. You do know what you're doing, because you're smart, and you have a good reason to do everything you do, even if it feels otherwise, your brain is always on it, always figuring the best course of action. Nobody else could figure your situation out better than you yourself can. This faith in yourself has been stripped off of you, but you deserve to take it back, to boldly do whatever you feel is right, and to allow nobody to strip your intentions to their bones just so they see your vulnerabilities better.

[reasoningdaily]

Adultification means teachers, parents and law enforcement are less protective and more punitive with certain kids.

This story was originally published on Jan. 28, 2020 in NYT Parenting.

Punishment was a hallmark of my educational experience.

It started when my preschool teacher labeled me as manipulative and intentionally disruptive. She even tried to film me to prove to my mother I was a problem — she never got that footage, and accused me of pretending to behave at the sight of the camera.

Although I was only 3 years old, she was convinced that my insistent hand raising and refusal to sit still were signs that I was malicious instead of simply understimulated. As soon as I was old enough to understand what happened, my mom didn’t hesitate to tell me the story each time I expressed self-doubt. She wanted me to understand I wasn’t a problem, I was simply an engaged learner. In a world where falling in line was more important than shining, my strengths were a threat.

That experience set the tone for the rest of my schooling. “Disruptive,” “talkative,” and “distraction” were used almost as often as my name. It meant being paddled a lot, calls home to my mother and isolation from other students as punishment.

By high school, I stopped participating almost completely; it was easier to focus on boys than be misunderstood in the classroom.

[Why America’s black mothers and babies are in a life-or-death crisis.]

At the time, I didn’t know that my experiences weren’t uncommon. I was experiencing what academics call “adultification,” in which teachers, law enforcement officials and even parents view black girls as less innocent and more adult-like than their white peers. This perspective often categorizes black girls as disruptive and malicious for age-appropriate behaviors.

Adultification means black girls are punished more frequently, even when they’re under 6. According to a report from the Department of Education’s Civil Rights Data Collection, from 2013-2014, only 20 percent of female preschoolers were black, but black girls made up 54 percent of female preschool children with one or more suspensions.

Now that I’m a grown woman raising a black girl, I’m at a crossroads. How can I preserve my daughter’s childhood while preparing her for a world that may judge her prematurely?

Jamilia Blake, Ph.D., a psychologist and associate professor at Texas A&M University who co-authored the 2019 report “Listening to Black Women and Girls: Lived Experiences of Adultification Bias” and its precursor, the 2017 study “Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood,” said adultification impacts black girls early in life.

Black girls are treated like they are older than they are as early as preschool, Blake found. Unfortunately, the way others perceive Black girls gets worse with age. In one report, a young adult described her family’s difficulty finding an elementary school that would accept her after an allegation of assault and battery was added to her record when a ball she threw at recess hit another girl in the face.

Blake’s work explores how sexism and racism interact to shape our experiences in education, criminal justice and even our social relationships. Her research, which was published in collaboration with the Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality, suggests that bias toward black girls can lead to less protection and support, and more punishment, among educators and law enforcement.

[I’m darker than my daughter. Here’s why it matters.]

The National Women’s Law Center’s report “Dress Coded: Black Girls, Bodies, and Bias in D.C. Schools” concluded that dress code policy enforcement unfairly targeted black girls, echoing anecdotal evidence that every part of black girlhood — from their hair to their bodies and attire — has the potential to be penalized.

In short, the world ages black girls up, which leaves them unable to access the privileges of childhood, like the benefit of the doubt in punishment situations and support figures like mentors.

According to Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D., a psychologist and host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, black girls are often characterized as “little women.” Teachers, and even parents, may expect black girls to exceed age-appropriate levels of responsibility at home or assume they don’t need to be comforted after emotionally distressing events, according to researchers.

Dr. Bradford said adultification surfaces in the chores parents assign to black girls — many are burdened with household caretaking responsibilities from an early age. Adultification even shows up in how we criticize black girls’ clothing in ways we wouldn’t with boys. Within the black community, calling our girls “fast” or suggesting that they “want to be grown” and deserve whatever consequences they face for their choices ages them and robs them of their innocence.

[Teaching your child to confront sticks, stones and ‘that word.’]

Blake noted that both black boys and girls experience adultification, though it can show up differently depending on a child’s gender. “We need to understand the unique experiences of black girls and black women so we can better support and empower them,” she explained.

At 1 year old, I’ve heard many people describe my daughter’s temperament as mean, sassy or intentionally difficult. The language makes me uncomfortable. But, if I’m honest, I’ve made these sorts of comments myself.

As a former victim of adultification, giving my daughter the childhood she deserves is my priority. It’s up to me to ensure she has the tools to thrive in the face of bias.

Experts I spoke to said it’s important to let my kid be a kid.

“Keeping little girls engaged in play as long as possible is important,” Dr. Bradford advised.

Words matter, too.

Blake said awareness of adultification, self-reflection and being careful about language choices are the first steps. This might involve calling out how adults speak to and about children in your community.

“I believe that black parents should be very explicit when communicating with their children and other adults about the descriptions of black girls’ behavior,” Blake said, pointing out the importance of correcting adults who use negative language to describe black youth.

I plan to listen for phrases the like the ones that were used to punish me for being inquisitive and involved in school. Statements like, “Her grades are good but she’s disruptive in class” or “She’s intentionally challenging my authority” will be causes for further investigation.

“As black parents, I know that we are tasked with having conversations with our children that others do not have to have, but it’s also important to have these conversations in a way that’s developmentally appropriate,” Dr. Bradford added.

A 6-year-old might not be ready for an in-depth conversation on how race and sexism make school harder for her. But she can understand the concept that there are people who treat girls differently than boys, or treat people unfairly based on how they look. When your child inevitably asks why, it’s O.K. to say you don’t know and to reassure her that all people deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect.

There’s no shortage of identity-related curveballs thrown at black children. It’s important that we allow them to experience childhood and its related benefits for as long as possible. We owe it to black girls to challenge the obstacles in their way.

My childhood was compromised, but it’s not too late for my daughter.

[songbirds-wish]

Another Nijisanji/Anycolor Rant

Now I know I am 2 months late into this but I saw a video where Zaion reveals her side of the situation in which she got terminated. And honestly? Now that we have both sides to one hell of a situation, I think it’s safe to say *both* sides were in the wrong.

There were a lot of things Zaion did wrong, like the weird comments about Genshin characters because they had “sh0t4 designs” , using her past life accounts when that was strictly prohibited,, regardless of reason, and playing ROM hacks in her previous life to name a few. But at least she took responsibility and held herself accountable for those issues, which I appreciate her doing.

But there’s also a lot of genuinely infuriating things Nijisanji/Anycolor did that had me baffled and pissed. the double standards, the TERRIBLE management, Zaion getting punished ALL BECAUSE SHE REACHED OUT TO A SENIOR STAFF MEMBER, and didn’t protect her from GENUINE death threats and SWAT threats due to doxxing while she was suspended and left her out of the loop. Yet said publicly that they were going to do so with all their talents.

What also pisses me off is the fact that, now looking back at the termination notice, they twisted the shit Zaion had done to try and make her seem like the one who was the asshole, someone who had no remorse for most of her actions, when in actuality, she *did* express genuine remorse for her actions and apologized in multiple instances to staff,,

Putting everything Zaion has done aside, no matter what an employee of your company does, even if they break the rules, you don’t treat someone like this. You shouldn’t not protect an employee from online harassment even if they’re suspended, you shouldn’t treat employees unfairly, and you CERTAINLY don’t demonize someone you fired just to make your company look good. It does NOT make you look good. And Zaion, regardless of her actions, did not deserve to go through what she did with Nijisanji.

My closing thoughts on this is simply fuck you to Nijisanji/Anycolor. The way they acted so slimey and disgusting towards Zaion is infuriating. There could’ve been other ways to deal with Zaion actions and Nijisanji chose the slimey route. It’s genuinely disgusting.

With that being said, please don’t harass anyone involved,, including the other Nijisanji livers as they weren’t involved with this situation. And that concludes my 2nd rant. If anything major happens I *might* post abt it but only time will tell,,

[walkingwiththegods1]

An Special Note for Loki

(For circumstances out of my control, I couldn't post this; on July 31... But, I think that gratitude has not date; so... I post it, today!)

Dear Loki:

The first time I met you, I was in a very terrible moment in my life; and I felt so broken, I could only see evil; even where it wasn't.

You appeared in a dream, when I was near of my house; with medium long light gold blond hair and blue dark eyes, in a black Nordic garment with silver engravings; black belt with an little silver goat head, and black pants. And I, prepared myself to fight... Or, die fighting. You aproached me, and I knew for your energy; than despite your human appearance; you weren't human. You came towering to me, with a stern look in your eyes; and even when I was in fear; I was ready to fight against you, but... The fight, never happened: Your face softened, and you said, in a soft voice: "I'm so sorry", saying my name. I started to feel so much cold; (Cold weather makes me very sleepy, since I can remember) than I started to fall sleep, almost suddenly; and you grabbed me by the waist, before I could fell to the floor; and before I losed conscience, I finally realized; who you was: "Loki..." You carried me gently, without any difficult; and you went away from where I lived, with me in your arms.

The next month, I back to dream with you; (Strange, 'cause "Repeating Dreams"; are uncommon to me, except for the traumas-related ones) and, I was in a big bed in a room of Asgard; were I was dressing an Nordic white long dress, instead of the modern short black dress I was wearing in the other dream: Again, you were there; sitting in a chair looking at me, and the room was so cold; that a few moments later, I fell asleep again. When I wake up of the dream, I thought; that it was all weird, but that probably, I wouldn't never see you again. (But, to my surprise; you started to apppear more often, in my dreams.) You appeared always so warm and caring, and I... Was so cold and distant, towards you. ('Cause, I was get used to people treating me well; before they start to mocked me, bullied me; or WORST.) I was expecting that will happened too, or... That you just grow tired of me, and leaves me for good.

Surprisingly, the months passed; and you doesn't seemed to be deterred. (Even more: I started to feel your energy, when I was awake; too!)

But, the more surprising thing; is that you slowly started to melt the thick ice in my heart: I started to believe that, I wasn't so unlovable; or hopeless, or... Unworthy of true friendship. (Or... Even, something more!)

Sadly, I was months away to finished Highschool; and after I was punished unfairly; before to met you... Your kindness, wasn't enough to shake the horrible idea; that was already forming in my mind: You saved me that night, when after five months of endless sadness; I was about to do something really horrible; for the fault of cruel and coward people, than tormented to an innocent teenager; abusing of their autority, isolating me for two weeks, making that everyone don't speaked; played, or even get near of me. I literally felt your hand, and saw you grabbing my wrist; strongly enough to make me react, and you told me; that I couldn't do such thing. For the next three weeks, You and the others Gods that were in that night to saves me; were around watching over me, I started to feel better; and many months later, I finally leaved that awful loveless place; after passing all the exams.

After those dark days, I started to see you when I was totally awake; by the day... And, at night.

The time passed, and I realized that the voice I hearded; when a was almost a teenage girl; suffering in school and worst in home; when I looked and talked to the brightest star, telling me to never lose hope... It was you!

You, with Aphrodite and the other Gods; were with me, when I losed a person that I admired and wished to make his work, when my own family wasn't very understanding of my grief: You, with the others, became a force that helps me to go on; when I didn't feel that strong: That First Year of College, would have been so hard; and I couldn't have make those classes, or been there; if you and the other Gods, wasn't with me; back then.

When I was in distress, or scared; sick, or when any person were cruel to me without a reason; and even when I started to remember all the horrors I suffered from one particular person... You were there to comforting me, makes feel better; to heal me, and punished to those mean persons, and with the other Gods; you gave to that horrible person, many weeks of ill luck; when I never ask you to did any of that. (...They don't know, that all the things they had suffer, were made by you and the other Gods; 'cause they doesn't believe that Gods exist: Worst for them, then... I know that you and all The Gods, are real... And, they are on my side.)

Not everthing was perfect, between you and me: There were moments when we couldn't be together, without arguing. And a few times, I saw your darkest's side; too: Despite the things you told me, in those hard times; or, as "The World-Breaker"... I stayed. (What kind of inner strenght, makes me do that... I don't know: I have been called a coward most of my life, so... I still don't know the answer.) Ten years ago, we started to be close to each other; without getting on each other's nerves, and "The World-Breaker"; almost never has shown up around, so maybe... I can finally say, that we are fine with each other.

Thank you... For never giving up on me, for makes me believe that I'm still worthy of good things in life; for stopping me when I wanted to revenge of any person that hurts me so badly in the past, for always be honest with me, for always care for my feelings, for make me feel safe and loved; and... For save me that night, when nobody wanted to save me; including myself.

Hail Loki: The God of Rebels, Outcasts and Misfits!

Hail Loki: The Rare and Unconventional Heroe!

Hail Loki: That Make Us Stronger By Change!

Hail Loki: The God That Reveals Hard Truths!

Hail Loki: The Other Half of My Heart!

[natayejassaudiaarabianlitblog]

Reflections on a Year of Reading Saudi Arabian Literature

List of Books

- Jean P. Sasson “Princess”

- Rajaa Alsanea “Girls of Riyadh”

- Moustafa Bayoumi “How Does it Feel To Be a Problem”

Based on what I read, I learned that Saudi Arabia is filled with resources that come scarce today. After reading Jean P. Sasson’s “Princess”, I came to realize that despite women being poor in power as opposed to men, Saudi Arabia has a huge wealth of oil. Saudi Arabia is also made up of desert plateau, so the temperature is hot. Hence why both Jean P. Sasson’s “Princess” and Rajaa Alsanea’s “Girls of Riyadh” show that in Saudi Arabia, men and women’s clothing are loose and tend to block their skin from the sun. 

Based on Jean P. Sasson’s “Princess” I learned that back then, Saudi Arabia had treated women like their only purpose was to serve men. Women were punished and tortured, some even killed for rebellion against their fathers, brothers, and even sons. Men in Saudi Arabia could marry more than one woman and even leave their wives if they didn’t give them any children (preferably sons). Women were tied down by rules that they had to follow in order to even be considered marriageable or pure because if they weren’t, they’d bring shame on their families and possibly be punished by the man of the house. Back then women were forced to abide by the man’s rules of religion and their ways of living. 

One thing I learned about the culture in Saudi Arabia, is that every individual views their culture differently. Depending on whether you are born and raised in Saudi Arabia or you are raised in the western hemisphere, you view your culture differently. In Girls of Riyadh, There were many examples on how four girls from Saudi Arabia lived their lives and viewed culture differently. Coming from the first book I read, “Princess” I was surprised to see that the girls of Riyadh didn’t follow the same guidelines as princess Sultana did. Michelle, the girl who was half Saudi Arabian, ended up moving to dubai because she felt that she didn’t fit in with the western or middle-eastern culture. While another girl named Lamese had the “happy ending” since she was the only one who found happiness with her significant other and business while still holding on to her culture. 

What I learned from “Princess” by Jean P. Sasson is that women are strong and they are often mistreated due to not looking like it. I’ve learned that women are in fact stronger than men despite having no authority against the men in their family. From the book “Girls of Riyadh” by Raaja Alsanea, I learned that everyone views the world differently despite being born from the same cultural background. Your life, culture, religion will be perceived differently due to how you perceive the world. Lastly, What I learned from “How Does It Feel To Be A Problem?” by Moustafa Bayoumi is that differences shouldn’t matter. Something we struggle with every day is that we see people from where they come from instead of who they are as a person. It’s an issue that has been going on for hundreds of years and something that we shouldn’t be dealing with now. What I learned about myself is that despite not coming from Saudi Arabia, I can see and feel some of the things that the characters in these stories have gone through. Women being treated unfairly in “Princess” plays a part in my life as a young woman growing up in a world of sexist men. “Girls of Riyadh” is about four girls who are figuring themselves out while experiencing love, culture, and friendships. I feel myself going through the same thing in senior year alone, finding myself as I go off to college and start a new chapter in my life like when Michelle moved to dubai to start her new chapter. Lastly I learned that “How Does It Feel To Be A Problem?” is about struggles with racism and discrimination. As a person of color that is something that I’ve gone through since the day I was born, and something that I’ll have to keep going through until the end.

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Nancy & Teddy Pt.3

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll murder her, people snap when others are as cruel to them as you’ve been to me

Nancy: Why wouldn’t you murder me, I’m laying here with her

Teddy: Because I want you to live with it

Nancy: Yeah

Teddy: I’m serious about us being together, if you’re dead that’s hardly feasible

Nancy: then I’ll hold her down for you

Teddy: I can see it now

Nancy: Me too

Nancy: she keeps breathing too big though and it’s upsetting me

Teddy: You’ll have to think about something else

Teddy: I’m picturing you in a shock collar until your behaviour changes, for instance, it’s given me a real mood boost

Nancy: 🐶🥺

Nancy: Your punishment ideas are only making me want to behave much worse, btw

Teddy: I shouldn’t have shared them with you, giving you the silent treatment would be a fitting punishment, fatherhood is unfairly difficult

Nancy: You need some stimulating conversation after the long day you’ve had

Teddy: You’re right, I’ll go & talk to [some peeps at the club that they both know so she has an opinion about them] 

Nancy: Ha!

Nancy: we both know I’m your favourite person to talk to

Teddy: Thankfully, because ALL we’re going to do is talk

Nancy: well if you won’t come over, I can’t do anything to change that

Teddy: You could, I know you always have your own ideas

Nancy: I suppose you could find someone in the club that looks like me

Nancy: but she doesn’t look a thing like you so what am I meant to do?

Teddy: A pillow over her head can only do so much

Nancy: yeah, no dick either 😔

Teddy: But you do have [whatever she used before that was the right size of his] to fit inside of her & then yourself

Nancy: OH

Teddy: Nobody in the club is going to be as fun as that 😔

Nancy: Come on, don’t give up

Nancy: we can think of an equally fun idea for you

Teddy: No, you’ll be having the most fun you can possibly have & I’ll be super bored, which is typical when you’re the one who’s supposed to be receiving a punishment

Nancy: I won’t touch her

Nancy: not unless we can do it together

Teddy: All I can do is take the word of someone who doesn’t even trust mine

Nancy: If you weren’t in a club, you could call me

Nancy: I’ll buy you a baby monitor, what about that?

Teddy: It won’t arrive immediately, she’ll be gone

Nancy: I’m not going to do it, please

Teddy: If you say so, oh wait, no, that’s still trust based

Nancy: Teddy, I get it

Teddy: Good, please understand that without it we can barely do anything we want to

Nancy: I’m sorry

Teddy: You will be, the amount of fun you’ll miss out on if you don’t trust me

Nancy: Okay, then I’ll trust you

Teddy: We’ll see

Nancy: I love you, I didn’t say it earlier when you did so

Teddy: You’re just saying it now as something you think I want to hear

Nancy: If that was the case, you’d be happier to hear it

Nancy: I just want to

Teddy: I’m happy when you mean it & I can tell that isn’t the case

Nancy: You don’t want to hear it because you’re enjoying being mean too much

Teddy: You want to get your own way

Nancy: I want you to love me again

Teddy: Well, the blackmail plot is reserved for my father

Nancy: Wow, alright then

Teddy: You can’t manipulate me as easily

Nancy: That’s not what this is

Teddy: It is, I’m not a complete fool

Nancy: Have a good rest of your evening

Teddy: You too

Nancy: yeah, fuck you too

Teddy: A fantastic choice of words considering how reluctant you are to

Nancy: You’re the one who won’t fucking come over and do it

Teddy: I wouldn’t need to come over if you hadn’t kicked me out in the first place

Nancy: It’s too late now, she’ll be too conscious 

Teddy: Yeah, it is

Nancy: You’re a child

Teddy: You have the option to fuck someone your own age, tonight or on any other

Nancy: yeah, now you’re bored I do

Teddy: Have a marvellous time 

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: I’ll drink to it

Nancy: No need to waste any more time thinking about me

Teddy: The Nancy I think about isn’t a disappointment the way you’re determined to be, it’s fine 🥂

Nancy: You’re determined to be disappointed in whatever I say or do now

Teddy: No, but it’s unfortunate I am

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: all because I sent you away

Teddy: You’ve thrown this all away repeatedly, I’ve lost count of how many times over the course of today you’ve told me we’re through with everything

Nancy: So what, it’s your turn?

Nancy: If you don’t want it then you’re cutting your own nose off

Teddy: I haven’t once agreed to your nonsense

Nancy: You’re pushing me away

Teddy: I’m not giving you exactly what you want the moment you decide you want it, because the next you’ll change your mind & say you don’t

Nancy: Then there’s no point carrying on this conversation, so go talk to [whoever he said before] and have fun, seriously

Teddy: It’s always on your terms or absolutely nothing

Nancy: It was you who said you’d give me everything I want, now you’ve taken it back

Nancy: Do you actually have anything to say?

Teddy: I can’t do this with you at the same time as what I have to do with your idiot cousin, I’ll lose my grip on my sanity

Nancy: Oh my GOD, I’m not doing anything

Nancy: what have you taken, you’re being super paranoid 

Teddy: [whatever he has taken because lol I’m sure you have]

Nancy: that explains it

Teddy: What explains you? Because today has been ridiculous

Nancy: If you’re saying I should be medicated, I’ve tried plenty of what they hand out

Teddy: I just want to know

Nancy: I tried to explain it to you before but I obviously don’t know well enough myself because we’re here again

Teddy: Things can’t have gone that right with her & this wrong with you, it’s entirely the opposite way to how I’d like them to be

Nancy: When you’ve come down and back up again, come find me and we’ll make up

Teddy: Okay, I will

Nancy: I’ll remind you if you don’t

Teddy: Please

Nancy: It’s a promise

Teddy: I hope so, it’s vile to miss you as much as I do

Nancy: I know, I told you I feel sick

Nancy: you can move in as soon as possible, can’t you

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: We can make an excuse, that you need to, she’ll be thankful, even though she can’t move herself in as well

Teddy: I’ll go with the star crossed lovers angle, my parents are furious I’m dating her but I am, because we’re SO in love I HAVE to

Nancy: She’ll eat that up

Teddy: & they are going to be furious, whether enough to kick me out in reality yet or not

Nancy: You can’t very well tell them it’s not real, ruins the fun

Teddy: You’ll come out of it extremely well, being supportive & offering me a place to stay

Nancy: I’m obviously your two’s biggest fan

Teddy: I’ve been an idiot, I don’t know why either

Nancy: Neither of us does this often

Teddy: I think I’m scared too, of you like you are of me

Nancy: yeah

Nancy: and tonight I’m sorry because I want you close to me

Teddy: I didn’t expect it to hurt as badly as that, when you didn’t

Nancy: It was like watching myself from the ceiling, it just happened, beyond my control

Teddy: I can relate, since I arrived at this club I may as well have been on the ceiling

Nancy: I know those nights

Nancy: where are you going to go after

Teddy: Home?

Teddy: the [this drug he’s on] isn’t helping

Nancy: Want me to keep you company then?

Teddy: I can’t promise I’ll be good company

Nancy: I can handle it

Nancy: you should probably have some [either booze or another drug that has the opposite effect to whatever he has taken] try to level out

Teddy: [go find that and send evidence of you taking it like a good boy lol, looking a mood and a moment doing it no doubt despite the state of you]

Nancy: There you go, that’ll help 🥰

Teddy: [suggest something she’d have to hand whether that’s drugs or a drink to help with how sick she said she felt] will help you

Nancy: [do the same and be in your own bed now because leave that gal alone]

Teddy: How DARE you look incredible when you feel bad

Nancy: says you, always looking like that

Teddy: I feel like a child, wanting to ask you out & hold your hand & kiss you

Nancy: Everyone is so corrupted by the time they hit like year 10, that’s why, everyone is a mess

Nancy: I like holding your hand, a lot

Teddy: It’s a blur, my entire childhood, perhaps I should find that slightly concerning?

Nancy: Quite possibly

Nancy: but you are the baby, if everything is already a mess before you even understand it all

Teddy: I didn’t quite fix everything as intended

Nancy: You’re too good to waste your time trying, it’s all a farce, the loving family

Teddy: You know I can give you that though, don’t you? 

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: you already give me more

Nancy: attention, energy, even when that’s used on being mad

Teddy: Even fighting with you feels good

Nancy: It means you care, you’ve not given up

Teddy: Today was a blip, I’m not giving up

Nancy: Me either, I’m going to make you stuck with me forever

Teddy: Not stuck, that’s your cousin in her [whatever outfit she was wearing that he bought for her, calling it by its designer probably like a dick]

Nancy: The swelling 🤭

Teddy: Put it on for me when she leaves

Nancy: There’s no point her taking it home, after-all

Teddy: & let me take you to [wherever they went on this notp date]

Nancy: Please, you have to

Teddy: Anything Grace & I do

Nancy: I can’t stand being jealous of her, it’ll make me crazy

Nancy: crazier

Teddy: You don’t deserve to be left out

Nancy: thank you 🥺

Teddy: We aren’t going to have any repeats of what happened, I’m going to treat you like royalty

Nancy: I’m going to be so much nicer

Teddy: Rex can be jealous, neither of us

Nancy: He’ll be so happy to have you home with us

Teddy: He must be 🐶🥺💔 his mummy & daddy fighting for such a long time

Nancy: I’ll tell him we’re making up and he can watch, poor baby

Teddy: Is he there with you right now?

Nancy: Yes, I woke him up when I left the spare room

Teddy: [some kind of shameless voice note in his dog/baby voice that’s actually purely for her benefit, we know the vibes]

Nancy: I’m trying to give you so many babies so you have to talk like that forever 

Teddy: I have no complaints about making them forever

Nancy: best daddy

Teddy: I want to fuck you constantly

Nancy: You need to, nothing else could be as important

Teddy: I was hard for you the entire time, she couldn’t even tell

Nancy: She couldn’t even see straight

Nancy: it’ll never be for her

Teddy: Every inch is for you

Nancy: I am so happy, I just want you, no one else 

Teddy: I believe you this time

Nancy: You have to, I need to be with you

Teddy: I need you now, I can’t stand being without you

Nancy: I could come to yours? We can be together

Teddy: What about her?

Nancy: I think she’ll be fine

Nancy: neither of us has ever actually choked on our own vomit and we’ve been much more wasted

Teddy: Still, if anyone would die at the precise moment things are about to be really entertaining for us

Nancy: yeah, you’re right but

Nancy: God, I am losing it without you

Teddy: Embarrass her into boarding the earliest possible flight home

Nancy: That’s what I do best

Nancy: and you did go out after your date, what could be more shaming?

Teddy: I’ll come over the instant she’s away

Nancy: You’re only making it in the door so no one but us gets to appreciate all the things we need to do

Teddy: & I hate for Rex to escape thinking I’m upset at you because he hasn’t had a chance to see us happy again

Nancy: He’s too little, he has to stay with us

Nancy: he’ll be almost as happy she’s gone, she takes too much attention

Teddy: She’s too loud

Nancy: and clumsy

Teddy: There isn’t going to be any water in his bowl for him to drink with her kicking it as often as she does

Nancy: Did think you were going to force me to drink out of it… which is fun and all but I might want my own bowl so he doesn’t bite my face off

Teddy: I’ve NEVER seen you drink water, you’ll have to have your own for what you actually drink out of it

Nancy: Hey 😅 I hydrate!

Nancy: but again, the possibilities are intriguing and endless

Teddy: You must, your skin would be horrific otherwise & it isn’t

Nancy: are you going to call me old and wrinkly now

Teddy: No baby

Nancy: You kinda did, she said I was too old for you, or you were too young for me

Teddy: She’s got a lower IQ than Rex has, don’t listen to her

Nancy: We think the same, however old

Teddy: & I couldn’t be any more attracted to you

Nancy: You were hard the whole time 😸😸

Teddy: [some pics he had taken at some point to illustrate this fact but then got too distracted to show her because she kicked him out etc]

Nancy: I’m going to die when you’re inside me

Teddy: [tell her some more deets from this date that you forgot to whisper to her earlier cos the excitement and everything but have just come back to you rn cos of sending those pics]

Nancy: No one else could do this like you, you know that

Nancy: It would be so boring, if it worked at all

Teddy: I’m irreplaceable 

Nancy: You’re perfect for me

Teddy: I’ll feel perfect inside of you, you already know that after [whatever she used as a replica]

Nancy: I kept that under my pillow, it’s the closest I could feel to you whilst you were on your date

Teddy: Keep it in you until she wakes up

Nancy: I’m practising 👅

Teddy: I want you to feel close to me, for it to feel real until we’re back together

Nancy: You’re not leaving, not until she’s back, all we’re going to do is fuck

Teddy: Order your new bed, it has to be here

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: you don’t have to call in sick to Uni, right, you just don’t show?

Teddy: Nobody’ll care but the rugby team

Nancy: They can have you back when I’m finished

Teddy: I won’t let you be finished with me

Nancy: Okay, but I absolutely insist you let me watch you getting all muddy wrestling around with other hot guys

Teddy: I’ll hurt someone just for you 

Nancy: I’ll still kiss you better instead

Teddy: I’ll have to buy you something [whatever these rugby colours are], maybe [something boujee and ridiculous]?

Nancy: Rex wants us all to match too 🥰😌

Nancy: He just said

Teddy: [this boy just having a lil online shopping spree rn and letting her know about all of it, I dread to think]

Nancy: 🥳

Nancy: [send him bed options you’re looking at that have no business being so expensive]

Teddy: [Tell her your faves and ask her when’s the soonest they can be delivered etc because obvs wanna fuck on it ASAP and ideally for the first time that y’all do in her bed so dealbreaker on which one you pick]

Nancy: [do some more research because I’m sure for the right price you can make them take your bed and deliver this one tomorrow, everything can be sorted with cash as long as you’re not asking for some custom bed which is not the vibe, just new for the mood and the moment tah]

Teddy: [oh to be rich, we all know he’s gonna be buying her all sorts of shit for that bed too, the most expensive sheets ever like it’s nbd, a million pillows, the list goes on]

Nancy: 🤴👸 

Nancy: No one else is allowed to sleep in it, ever

Teddy: Promise & I’ll trust you to keep it

Nancy: I promise, not even her

Teddy: Especially not her, some things need to be ours or this isn’t going to work

Nancy: Rex is ours too

Teddy: & he can be mean to her in ways we can’t

Nancy: YOU could bite her too, but how into it she could be is probably a little off-putting

Teddy: I’ll find what she isn’t & do it anyway

Nancy: 😍

Nancy: He isn’t house-trained, I intend to direct him towards her things when I next notice him looking for somewhere to go

Teddy: [just shading her by suggesting things you think she has that this dog should piss on based on your opinion of poor Grace, rightly or wrongly, soz hun]

Nancy: [just join in with suggestions that all seem outlandish but some are clearly real ‘cos you actually know and you’re leaving it to his imagination to work out what is and isn’t]

Teddy: [having a lovely time mocking this girl, excuse us]

Nancy: I missed you so

Teddy: I love you so

Nancy: I love you too

Nancy: you’re going to feel it

Teddy: I do, that’s been the difficulty of today

Nancy: I’m sorry I’m shit at this, I’ve never needed to be good, no one has wanted it

Teddy: I’m not used to struggling either, it rarely happens

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: I’m going to show you, how to fake struggling at Uni

Teddy: It’ll make such a difference, to be able to put Uni to one side for the time being

Nancy: You’re already going to be pulled in so many directions for all our plans to come together

Teddy: I’m seriously relying on you & your help, you understand that now, don’t you?

Nancy: Totally, you need me

Teddy: We need each other

Nancy: yeah, every time it’s said, it becomes a little less terrifying of a prospect

Teddy: Soon you won’t even be afraid

Nancy: I don’t mind being a little bit afraid, I can handle it for this

Teddy: Be a big, brave girl & you can be a baby when she’s far away

Nancy: You did ask really nicely there 🥺 

Nancy: I’ll try harder

Teddy: So will I, I haven’t been super supportive thus far

Nancy: We’ll learn together

Nancy: even if I’d been loads of people’s serious girlfriend before, I want to be right for you

Teddy: You are right for me, it’s crazy how right you are

Nancy: You’re too right, thinking about losing you nearly made me puke already

Teddy: Did the [whatever he suggested] make you better or have I got more work to do?

Nancy: No it worked 🥰 and you being nice again

Teddy: I think you trump the [whatever drug he took to balance out] too at stabilising my mood

Nancy: This makes me feel like being unbearable in public with you

Teddy: There are somehow numerous places lacking the required courage to ask me to leave, you could be the girl to change that

Nancy: ‘Challenge’ accepted

Teddy: It’ll make the legitimate challenge your cousin poses much more bearable, for both of us to have that one in mind

Nancy: Definitely

Nancy: absolutely no one is going to tell her anything that happens whilst she’s not here, she doesn’t know anyone like that

Teddy: & should anyone dare to attempt it, she isn’t going to believe them over you

Nancy: Never

Nancy: not when I’m the only one supporting your forbidden union 🙄😘

Teddy: Our total freedom to do as we please remains, she isn’t turning our entire lives upside down

Nancy: this plan is for our benefit entirely, if it’s not working for us, it’s not happening

Teddy: We both need to just keep that firmly in mind & not lose sight of it again

Nancy: it’s just pretend she gets everything she wants, it’s real for us

Teddy: It’s OUR forbidden union 

Nancy: I don’t care who I hurt for you

Teddy: Hurt [the peeps he mentioned talking to before, soz that you’ve done literally nothing to deserve this rn] for me

Nancy: Now I have your permission to act batshit… 😈

Teddy: Let it out, you’ve had a horrid day

Nancy: I’ll start tonight but how much does cyberbullying really get to anyone? I’ll have to get out tomorrow night

Teddy: They’ll be at [wherever they’ve said, whether directly to this boy or he’s overheard]

Nancy: And you’ll buy me a new outfit too

Teddy: Whatever she gets you will, except yours is allowed to be flattering

Nancy: I would recommend you let me look better at the end of it, for your own sake, darling

Teddy: Noted, the mighty will have fallen far enough when word spreads Grace & I are official

Nancy: 😬 Good thing you don’t care, it’ll be bad for your rep for

Nancy: forever, if it was real

Teddy: The sacrifices I willingly make for you

Nancy: It’s going to be worth it

Nancy: you can have anything you want from me

Teddy: I know, I’m spurred on by it

Teddy: waiting days to contact her will be tortuous

Nancy: You could open with that

Teddy: She’ll show you whether I do or not, do let me know your thoughts on the opener I choose

Nancy: Undoubtedly it will be far more restrained because she’s so frigid

Teddy: I’ll embody my brother for a spot of roleplay, flowery language that essentially means nothing & goes nowhere

Nancy: Copy and paste poetry for the most generic girl, couldn’t be more perfect

Teddy: I’m in no danger of losing myself as long as I also have you, the least generic girl in the city

Nancy: A boy like you could never be that boring, I’m not concerned you’re going to fall for her

Teddy: I’d sooner fall into [somewhere neither of them would be caught dead] or the arms of [likewise someone they mutually cannot stand]

Nancy: If you ever succumb to such insanity, I’ll get you sectioned, it won’t be hard for me 

Teddy: Saving me from myself would be beyond necessary, yes

Nancy: That is how much I care about you

Nancy: you know I’d be so dreadfully bored alone, too

Teddy: You’re so loving 🥺

Nancy: You make it seem worthwhile, it’s always seemed pointless, caring

Teddy: It was, the point is you & I realising we’re perfect for each other

Nancy: How is it you, you’re so fucking gorgeous

Teddy: Because you are too

Nancy: marry me

Teddy: Meet me in [the boujee-est ring shop ever] when you’re ready to do it

Nancy: and there isn’t a half-dead girl to keep on the right side of 💀

Nancy: it can’t come soon enough

Teddy: There’s no harm in looking at 💍 until then, she isn’t even beside you in bed anymore

Nancy: because I’m behaving, was

Nancy: [send him these websites to look at together, trying to find how dramatic and expensive you can possibly be, which I’m sure we can’t even comprehend]

Teddy: My 😇

Teddy: [god, I just know most of them are hideous because the diamonds would be so big and ridiculous yikes, but obvs he’s joining in and getting into it, as well as being shady about Chlo’s ring and his sister’s at the same time I’m sure, as well as anyone else they know who has gotten married]

Nancy: Yours, however well I’m behaving

Nancy: [truly, just tell him about every friend you have who either outright gave their mans the ring they wanted like this or nothing or ended up returning whatever effort they got for the one they wanted because so real]

Teddy: You’re friends with some real pieces of work, Nance 

Nancy: Isn’t everyone?

Teddy: Everyone worth knowing 

Nancy: I’m not going to do that to you, I didn’t like hurting you like today

Teddy: Once will suffice, we’ve both learned our lesson

Nancy: you can still try the shock collar, if you like

Teddy: Have you ordered one?

Nancy: [confirmation, ‘cos you clearly have lmao]

Nancy: whoops

Teddy: 😈

Nancy: In my defence, I didn’t know how else to cheer you up at the time

Nancy: it was the one thing you seemed certain you wanted 

Teddy: I haven’t changed my mind since, it’s still something I want

Nancy: I want it too, quite badly

Teddy: We do have an example to set after all, how else is Rex supposed to learn unless he sees me fucking you like a 🐶?

Nancy: He’s relying on you to teach him everything you know, truly

Nancy: and he does love to watch, he’s always staring at me, he’ll be even more intrigued when you’re the one pounding me instead

Teddy: I owe it to him to take the responsibility extremely seriously

Nancy: and me

Teddy: & you

Nancy: and I’ve never had this long to fantasize about anyone before, to prepare, it always just happens

Teddy: There didn’t seem to be any appeal to waiting, you want something & you get it as soon as is possible

Nancy: right, exactly

Nancy: and I haven’t even always got everything I wanted like you, that’s still how I felt

Teddy: You’re changing me

Nancy: not too much, I hope

Nancy: I like you as you are

Teddy: Hopefully in ways that’ll make me even more likeable

Nancy: 😸

Nancy: Would you like a housewarming party when you move in?

Teddy: I’d LOVE a housewarming party

Teddy: Is she going to be there?

Nancy: 🤔

Nancy: You’d have to be on your best behaviour until she was too blitzed to remember what you were doing

Nancy: not that that takes long

Teddy: We could have one with her in attendance & one without? 

Nancy: We could, definitely

Nancy: or we could see just how badly we can get her to behave, anything you do will become irrelevant if she yet again commits faux pas after faux pas

Teddy: What a fantastic idea

Nancy: [tell him of examples of you being obviously shitty to Grace which you’ve then gaslit her away from by getting her blasted so she can’t remember and then makes a fool of herself in various ways you encourage her to]

Teddy: You have to be the mother of all my children, nobody else is going to come close to acceptable now I’ve heard that

Nancy: 😳😖

Nancy: ALL of them?

Teddy: It’s important I have sons, J doesn’t have any, but even I can’t control how many attempts it may take

Nancy: I’ll try my hardest but any myths about being able to control it are definitely bullshit

Teddy: Obviously, there’s getting science involved, but that rather takes the fun out of it 🧪

Nancy: I’d rather have several unwanted daughters, if it’s all the same to you

Teddy: They wouldn’t be entirely unwanted, as previously discussed I could name them after you as I like saying it SO much, or they’ll end up taking after you in other ways which will only please me

Nancy: Fuck

Nancy: as long as they look like you, for their own sakes

Teddy: My mother’s side of the genetic code has proven stronger, thankfully, but perhaps I’d like them to be the spitting image of you, what then? Are we going to have another fight?

Nancy: I know you’d make them feel the prettiest, so no, no fighting if that’s what you want

Teddy: You’re the prettiest

Teddy: you’re fucking beautiful, Nancy, no argument

Nancy: Ha, don’t make me cry, please

Teddy: It would take more than a few tears to turn you ugly

Nancy: You’ve always been distractingly handsome, now I get to do something about it

Nancy: as long as her back’s turned

Teddy: She’ll be busy waiting on me once I move in, fetching me drinks or whatever else

Nancy: She takes like no classes at school, she only needs [the minimum you do to go to beauty school] she’s not busy

Teddy: I’m doing her a favour, they’re skills she’ll need for her minimum wage job

Nancy: She’d be lucky to pick up for a guy like you, that job does actually require a little more than fast typing skills, after-all

Teddy: Maybe my father could be convinced to employ her, I doubt he’s opposed to my sloppy seconds given his track record

Nancy: Your father bending your future wife over a desk is very fair grounds to not show for the wedding

Teddy: Though I’m not certain how I feel about him taking away my role as villain 

Nancy: Very true

Nancy: she’ll feel bad but in the guilty she lost you and ruined it way, not in the you never loved her and it was all a lie way

Nancy: entirely different plot

Teddy: She feels like that at the moment & satisfying as it is

Nancy: It’s not quite right

Nancy: plus your father is not leaving your mother to start a new life with Gracie

Teddy: He’d tire of her after 15 minutes

Nancy: Wow, giving him a lot of credit there

Nancy: Impressive for an old guy

Teddy: From what I’ve heard, it’s warranted, however begrudgingly I relay the info & almost immediately regret giving you access to it 

Nancy: 🤐😶 from me, promise

Teddy: You’re not to sleep with my father, promise

Nancy: It would seem like I was trying to collect your family

Nancy: I would never, not now

Teddy: My sister would be a maybe, given the hostage negotiations necessary at this point to free her from her awful decisions, but regrettably I believe those bad choices extend to you not being her ‘type’

Nancy: What did she like, before old men?

Nancy: I didn’t ever feel in direct competition with her for dates, and trust me, it is that intimate a scene

Teddy: She openly dated [name drop some people that Nancy would know but I’m not committing my boo to anything or a time period given we are going to possibly play her and have an idea for that storyline]

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Lots of them are still available… we’ll work something out, that doesn’t involve an unwelcomed lesbian advance

Teddy: Tell me about your father, if my mother began seeing him that would fuck over yours in a personal as well as business sense 

Nancy: He’s… money motivated, definitely but I don’t even know what he likes outside of things that everyone likes, and he’d always rather do them with my mum than anyone else

Nancy: has anyone close to your mum died? 

Teddy: [one of her parents that it is irrelevant basically so I don’t need to commit rn] but everyone’s her age has

Nancy: His twin killed herself, when they were 13, then his baby brother died a few years back now, got stabbed

Teddy: How dark

Teddy: we could kill my father?

Nancy: How? 😏

Teddy: 🤔 something new to fantasise about

Nancy: It was fun to toy with smothering her

Nancy: I imagine your dad would require more planning beforehand

Teddy: Slightly, I’ve been too open about hating him, it’s a clear motive

Nancy: Rehab, psych ward, prison

Nancy: how many visiting lists do you want to put me on?

Teddy: ALL of them darling, you’ll simply have to marry me for that reason alone

Nancy: That’s actually SO romantic, babe 😄

Nancy: I’ll make sure we clean up after ourselves so well you never get caught

Teddy: Oh no, I can’t deal with the fact we’re not going to be able to pay someone to clean up for us, the plan’s FIRST flaw 

Nancy: You’ll like getting clean with me this one time, I PROMISE

Nancy: it involves getting super messy first, that’s the main thing to focus on

Teddy: Okay, it does sound promising

Nancy: You know you wanna be covered in his blood, don’t play

Teddy: You’ll make me blush

Nancy: Good

Teddy: You want me to?

Nancy: Yes

Teddy: Regardless of where I am or who I’m with?

Nancy: You don’t have to explain about the whole dead dad element, so, of course

Teddy: I like our secrets too much to share them around

Nancy: it’s like having a real friend, or what siblings are meant to be like, I’m not sure

Nancy: but I like it too, maybe the most

Teddy: You deserve a better label than that & you know I don’t care for them most of the time

Nancy: I know the title you want to give me but until then

Teddy: Friend or brotherzoning me would be harsh if I wasn’t aware of how hot you are for yours

Nancy: You’re such a prick 😅😣

Teddy: There’s no shame, baby, it’s totally fine

Nancy: There’d be SO much shame, he’s a complete narcissist that thinks EVERYONE wants to bone him, it’s ridiculous

Teddy: I’ll keep it to myself 

Nancy: It isn’t some sickness my entire family has

Teddy: I’m only playing with you, I promise

Nancy: It tops the porn cats for a reason, just another fantasy

Nancy: you wouldn’t be the first to make the jokes, don’t worry

Teddy: Would it cheer you up if we plot to break up his relationship too?

Nancy: Definitely

Teddy: What weaknesses does she have to exploit?

Nancy: Her family, she’s overly invested in them all

Teddy: But they’re already not happy, naturally 

Nancy: but when she feels like she can step in and help, she does, and he hates it

Teddy: How convenient that Grace is her family

Nancy: mhmm

Nancy: She’s going to want to kill me

Teddy: There’s potential in how desperate she’ll be to stop the wedding

Nancy: There’s not a chance in hell she’ll be cool with this, if there was a way she could stop her, she would

Teddy: It isn’t adequate by itself but it’ll get to him

Nancy: He’ll hate how much she hates it, having to engage with it

Teddy: & the Jay drama will add to it, when we decide to fuck up J’s sobriety nonsense

Nancy: How unfortunate he’s got to behave now he’s a law school dickhead, he’ll wanna beat you and James up so badly 💔

Teddy: It would be the BIGGEST pity if he was provoked into snapping

Nancy: it’s a very provoking situation

Teddy: You can lose everything so quickly when you lose control

Nancy: and he has such a lot to lose

Teddy: & his loss is entirely your gain, especially if Ava is foolish enough to try & stand by J

Teddy: you can be their favourite

Nancy: I don’t think Grace appreciates yet how badly everyone in the family is going to hate her, for getting more involved with yours, making everything more of a mess

Nancy: and yeah, Ava will be in the same boat if she stays on his side

Teddy: It’ll be fun when she starts to appreciate it

Nancy: Doubles down on picking you… not at all a poor decision

Teddy: We’ll be all she has, you & I

Nancy: She used to listen to everything Rio said, wanna be just like her

Nancy: it hasn’t been like that in a long time

Teddy: She chose you

Nancy: and she’ll choose you

Teddy: Are you happy again?

Nancy: Always with you

Nancy: you give me so many ideas

Teddy: Once I’ve been invited to a few family functions with her I’ll have more, it’ll take a lot of the guesswork about them out of it knowing who I’m dealing with

Nancy: I’ll tell you more

Nancy: I’ve just spent the last… however long it is now, trying to ignore the fact I’m related to them all

Teddy: Of course you have

Nancy: Family events are only tolerable when I can ‘ruin’ them by being inappropriately trashed

Teddy: She can follow in your footsteps & make it tolerable for me

Nancy: It’ll be weird

Teddy: But we’ll handle it better than today went

Nancy: Or you’ll run in horror

Teddy: You have self awareness your family is a freak show, it’s not as if I’m going to have to try & break it to you gently when I discover the insanity myself

Nancy: Everyone’s is, it’s hardly as rare as people would love to pretend for their own shame’s sake

Teddy: Mine’s as horrific, when we run off it has to be hand in hand together

Nancy: Once they’re all fucked over completely, no way back from it for them

Teddy: The ultimate fantasy

Nancy: I need it to be real, Teddy

Teddy: I’ll make all your dreams come true, you know that

Nancy: Even the ones I don’t know about yet

Teddy: Even the ones you change your mind about & get upset at me for

Nancy: I need someone who knows me better than myself

Teddy: I want to

Nancy: Please, do it

Teddy: You’ve asked like that, I’ve been given no choice

Nancy: I told you I was going to trap you, you were warned if not given enough time to get out

Teddy: Trap me, do it

Teddy: please

Nancy: I swear 

Nancy: once I focus all my energy on you, you’ll love me more than she does, need me more

Teddy: I need that to be real, I so badly want all of your attention

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: and I think I’d like giving it to you, you being special 

Teddy: Am I special?

Nancy: I don’t think I could say no at this point

Teddy: In that case, I’m happy again too

Nancy: You should be, I’ve never told anyone they’re special, not even as a blatant lie

Teddy: I can tell

Nancy: That I’m a cold bitch?

Nancy: Not sure it would be news to anyone 😏

Teddy: That even when you lie you’re careful with them 

Nancy: There’s nothing more awkward than a compulsive liar… the delusion is too much for me, I have SOME shame, like 😳

Teddy: I agree, it does quickly become embarrassing 

Nancy: It was very Chlo, when we were at school, it was entertaining at times but entirely irritating the rest

Nancy: That’s why I was like her ONLY friend, by the end

Teddy: The absence of her was vital for my heart to grow fonder, she’s an acquired taste certainly

Nancy: Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten you’re in love with her 🙄

Teddy: Ha ha

Teddy: there would be nothing more awkward than that cliche

Nancy: Yet more younger brother shame 💔 tragic

Teddy: She’s amusing, that’s all

Nancy: Of course

Teddy: Say it like you believe me

Nancy: 😉

Nancy: like you said, it’s a tired cliche, you can think of better

Teddy: Yeah & she’s looking tired 

Nancy: She hasn’t stopped partying since abandoning her children

Nancy: Do I have to promise not to sleep with your brother as well?

Teddy: I assumed it was a given you wouldn’t be interested considering he hasn’t partied since [whenever it was in terms of how long ago now]

Nancy: I’m not interested but it’s always been part of my plan to fuck over Ava since they got together

Teddy: & we intend to, therefore I’m not overly concerned you’ll also sleep with him

Nancy: Well okay, if you’re sure

Teddy: You’re making me feel unsure

Nancy: I’m just joking, you can sleep with Ava though, if you want

Teddy: She doesn’t want to or I already would have

Nancy: She’ll get bored, she was all in on that girl before this, nothing lasts with her

Teddy: She’s too serious for me, I’d get bored

Nancy: It’s just the easiest way to break people up, that’s all

Teddy: If she’s being stubborn & ruining our plan, I’ll reconsider

Nancy: 😌 Thanks

Teddy: I’ve done worse things as a last resort

Teddy: [tell her about some of your schemes that have gone wrong cos some of them must have especially when you were younger]

Nancy: You’d obviously be so lucky and THRILLED to get the chance, but that’s the point, she acts so perfect and above it all

Nancy: Good thing we’re in this together regardless because that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence… 😅🫢

Teddy: Well, the fact I’m telling you my failures SHOULD fill you to the brim with confidence, I’m trusting you

Nancy: I know you like to kiss and tell

Nancy: but at least you’re not lying, that would be pointless

Teddy: So share with me something you aren’t proud of

Nancy: How long have you got?

Teddy: Technically, a full week until Grace returns

Nancy: That isn’t how I plan to spend it

Nancy: I’d say it’d be easier to tell you what I’m proud of but not really

Teddy: 🥺💔 I’m about to be so extremely proud of you none of that will matter at all

Nancy: That got depressing, sorry, think it was the [whatever substances you’ve mixed at this point] 

Nancy: gonna recalibrate 

Teddy: [again suggest something she should do] is going to save you

Nancy: Good idea

Nancy: that and thinking about you being proud of me should work 

Teddy: Because of the future I’ve promised you the past will simply cease to exist

Nancy: I’m not going to care how little impact I have in any of their lives if I’m the focus of yours, am I

Nancy: They all have it, I want it too

Teddy: You can have it all, darling, a big impact upon their lives & mine

Nancy: okay

Nancy: I’m doubting them, not you, I trust you now

Teddy: We won’t stop until you’re satisfied with what you’ve done to them, it’s as simple as that

Nancy: Yeah? 

Teddy: I have more stamina than my father across the board

Nancy: God, I love you

Nancy: Be here now

Teddy: Grace is going to wake up [however long from now the random 5am you always seem to wake up at after a night out] you heard me, I need MUCH longer than that

Nancy: 😿😿😿

Nancy: but

Teddy: We can’t

Teddy: but I’ll call you

Nancy: You can tell me how much I should remind her of when she wakes up

Teddy: [do call her and just be as feral as you can for as long as possible, we know the drill]

Nancy: [living your best lives as much as you can when you once again cockblocked]

Teddy: [do you wanna post this? It seems like a good stopping point?]

Nancy: [I shall moodam]

[opalsdarkreadings]

✰𝙅𝙪𝙟𝙪𝙩𝙨𝙪 𝙆𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙎/𝙊. 𝘽𝙤𝙣𝙪𝙨: 𝙎𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙍𝙮𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣✰

Pairing: Gojo, Yuji, Fushiguro, Nobara, Sukuna x gender neutral reader

Warning: angst, depression themes, mentions of blood

Notes: I love the smell of saddens and crying in the morining, great starter of the days. lol I hope you all enjoy, there’ll be some grammical errors so please just ignore and I’ll try to fix them when I spot them. And I’m addicted to this series and characters so I’ll be releasing a bunch of others stuff regarding this show soon.

✵𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘂✵

You were going to get up, you always did. The two inseparable prankster would be back at it agian like always. Like old times. You....you were fine

But the pit of his stomach twist and churn, his heart aching with a new found sense of despair. He knew, so why didn’t he just accepted it.

NO! You were going to get up, you just liked to joke around that’s all. So why did he feel a surge of rage so deep, so painful that ach his very core. Even destroying the special grade left nothing but dissatisfaction.

For the first time in his life he felt... hesitant.

Your body unmoving from the blow dealt by the curse demon. The curse being dealt with in seconds afterwards. The stillness felt eery, his heart pounding against his chest as he makes his way to you unmoving body

He crouch and pulled the slik blind off his face, beautiful bright blue eyes scanning over you body. Sadness being reflected in them but he kept that signiature smile of his

“S/o...can you still move?” He asked hoping, silently praying you could at least answer him.

...nothing.

“Cutie-chan~ quit playing around...get up so we can go home....” the weak laugh that left his lips felt more like whimper, as you continue to not answer him.

He doesn’t even know why he’s trying, he should be use to it. He’s lost thousands of friends in battle, time and time agian. One of his students wouldn’t come back, a coworker that didn’t make it, a close friends that died tragically. He’s heard it all.

So why did it hurt so much?...

Droplets fell over you color ridden cheek, you body being lifted into a broad chest. As Satoru buried his face into the crook of your neck, that awful perfume he hate infiltrating his nose, a choked laught left him.

“God I hate that perfum..”

That smile of yours as bright as the evening star, flooded his mind, your words ringing out as he cradled your dead body.

“I know you do, but you still love me~.”

✵𝘆𝘂𝗷𝗶 𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶✵

That face, you always made that face whenever you did something stupid. Honestly, he couldn’t talk much, seeing on half the crap he’s done was on impulse, however...god you were an idiot.

You Could’ve lived, left him there on the cool slab of the concrete, the beast that was too far over their heads coming his way. He could’ve handled it, Sukuna was a stubborn bastard, but wouldn’t let him die.

You were and utter fool and he cursed about it to this day.

But it all felt like slow motion, the pounding of your footsteps hitting against the ground, his weak shouts trying to get you to go back. The drop in his stomach as that sickening crack echoed out the domain.

There was so much blood, the walls were splattered with it, the floor painted a sea of red, your body nothing more than crushed remembrance of what it used to be.

He’s never felt such a feeling of rage so strong before. All his actions a blur until late on. When he’s bound by a cursed rope and set aside near the school where the cursed demon was located.

A stretcher hauling, what’s once was your body. Your hand peeking out from under the blood covers. That’s all it took for him to lose it.

The rope keeping his struggling body from moving as he sobbed hysterically.

“S/O! S/O! Answer me please..please! Why would you do that?! You’re such an idiot damnit, don’t you dare leave me...you promised.” He fell over the harsh ground, tears cascading down from his cheek to the floor.

Fushiguro and Nobara gazes lowered to the ground. Effectively trying to hold back their friend as your body was carried off.

His sobs turning into quiet whimpers. It dawned on him, he’s was official alone now. You and his Grampa being taken from him unfairly. He had no one, you would never smiles at him agian

Slap his head whenever he got a little to handsy or tease Him relentless when he slipped up and blurtted out random things

Your sweet laugh would be distance memory of the past, something that made his heart squeeze with hurt.

“That’s no fair...it’s not fair.” He mumbles soflty to himself

Sukuna for once, was eerily silent.

✵𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝗠𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗶✵

He still couldn’t believe it. It all happened so quickly. One minute you two were sharing a passionate night, basking under the moonlight as you kiss and bodies dance together.

And the next, he’s cradling your bleeding body, words stuck in his throat and horror swirling on his eyes. Trembling hands trying to stop the blood from gushing out from your neck.

The bastard had got away but he could care less. “S-s/o..just...just stay awake for me okay...c-can you do that for me?” His words trembled off his lips, your eyes shifting over to his. The dullness setting in.

Weakly, your fingers brush over his cheek, his hands reaching up and taking hold of them as he kiss over the knuckle. “You’re....you’re gonna be okay! I promise the others are coming.” He hadn’t realized it but tears had already started falling from his eyes.

He was lying out his ass, the culprit behind this, another cursed user, has been terrorizing this part of town for months now. They weren’t letting him getaway, so you’re mostly his responsibility till the aftermath. He knew you didn’t have that long.

He went to move you but you grunt in pain, more blood pooling out from the wound. He cursed and held you on the bloodstained ground.

“I’m sorry...I-I’m so sorry..” he mumbles into your neck, uncaring if his face was stained with blood as his quiet sobs racked his body.

With as much strength you could muster, you raised your hand to be lazily placed over his head and stroked it over it like you always did.

“I...I l-love you..” you whispered to him, your body becoming slack and your hand falling to your side.

He didn’t need to check, he didn’t need to see whatever expression your face was making to know that you were gone. His grip over your lifeless body tightens, his cries reaching into screams.

This felt all too familiar to him.

He wanted to blame you for breaking his defense, to inching so close to his heart. For making him so happy and attached, but he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy the moments that came with it.

The memories that’ll forever stay replaying like a broken record in his mind. This is why he didn’t try to make friends, he didn’t try to get close, he hated that he loved you so much.

✵𝗡𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗮 𝗞𝘂𝗴𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗸𝗶✵

Maybe she was too mean to you, not caring enough, She mishandled you to many times, to many fights and arguments over tedious things that should have been left as it was.

Was this her punishment? She allowed for such actions to boil and fester, and now what? A dumb argument over a stupid past that no longer connected to you and the exchange was your life. 

Even though you said you sorry’s, I love you’s, there was still tension before you both part. Nobara saving to say all those mushy things she felt for when you were back in her arms

Oh, the deep regret she felt.

The way her teammates came back quieter than usual and more seemly more sluggish then earlier

“What are you idiots standing like that for, that cursed demon shake you that bad. Hmph, simple enough what would you guys be with me?” She teased her sly smile spreading over her lips before it falter

They didn’t even try to agrue much less protest, they just seem distraught, stunned even. Then I dawned on her, they were missing someone...they were missing you.

“Where’s...where’s s/o?” She asked them soflty. A look of guilt overcame Yuji's features as he fished for something out of his pocket.

Confusion ran across Nobara face before it morphed into horror. A single scrap of a school uniform being held out in his hand.

“We...we couldn’t get their body..” Megumi finished his gaze meeting her’s before falling back to his feet. Fist clenched tightly to his side.

She barely heard anything after that, her eyes fixated on the single scrap of clothing. She inched to Yuji taking it and stroking her thumb over the material.

She bites her bottom lip, this was fates cruels joke. She didn’t deserve you from the beginning, it seems like everywhere she went someone had to leave her.

But why did it have to be violent? Why you out of all people. Maybe she should have told her how much you meant to her.

How much of a rock and pillars you were in this crazy life of hers. A beam of reassurance and love that she could always depend on whenever she needed you.

How does she continue now, that beams were gone, taken from her so harshly. The only things she could cling so desperately to have been the last thing she saw you in.

What a cruel world she lived in.

✵𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚✵

There was always some form of a catch when it came to huamsn. No relationship or friendship was formed without a common goal or another interest being taken into play.

The sweet smiles, honey-coated words, and gentle touches were always a facade...wasn’t it?

He could care less about what happened to you, what became of you. After all humans are dirty devilish creatures so even more so then cursed beast.

But he didn’t understand... he didn’t understand why he felt such strong stings of anger, sadness, and a bit of shock bubble in him as you push him out the way.

Did you place some sort of technique over him, that made the king of curses catch such disease as emotions? Laced your words and touches with magic that only you could see and undo....no that’s not it.

Possible it was this damn vessel's fault. Always hanging off your words and embraces like a lovesick fool. Opting to distract himself with your praise and love then rather focus on what’s important at hand.

though denying that he didn't enjoy your persevere, from time to time would make the ping of guilt worsen.

Your body hit the floor with a loud thud, the gaping hole through your chest made the anger and feelings of anguish flow in him.

He didn’t even notice when he had taken over Yuji's body, destroying the very thing that took you away from him. The slaughter more animalistic and erratic as his state of sanity seems to be blown out the window.

He cares not for the look of horror and fear that clouded Yuji's teammate's face. Not concerning much of his attention to them, he came over, plucked your dead body from the ground, and disappear.

Appearing back to that place you talked with Yuji so dearly about..what was it again. He couldn’t recall the name, only knowing about the large wisteria trees that guard the scenery. 

“Dumb human...surely foolish beings you are.” He mumbles you head was press into his chest as he looked out from the Cliffs view.

“Look what you have done, making me feeling things for you..” his voice soft as he pushed back small strands from your face. Yuji memories of this morning playing back

“You two better make it out of here alive or I’m kicking both of your butts.” You proclaimed earning a whine from Yuji and scoff from Sukuna as he appeared on the other’s cheek. “Dare I ask how you’ll be able to deafest me, don’t bite more than what you can chew.” He threatens but only succeeded in making you laugh, “Mhm..yeah you’re right I’m just worried about my two favorite boys.” You had told them, leaning in and kissing a flustered Yuji, “I love you both so be safe.” Okay and no stupid actions.” You scolded Yuji plucking the boy's head.

A weak laugh fell off from his lips, “Looks who’s talking, you’re the one that’s gone and died on us..” he spoke aloud. Moving to crouch by the tree and sit your body against the bark.

He let one finger trail over your lips and down your features letting them be engraved in his memory as he gazes down at you.

That disease having still affecting him, even as you lay dead in front of him. These feeling of sadness and heart ach and most of all loneliness suffocating and clawing at his throat

He dare not shed a tear, Yuji would do enough of that for the both of them. Instead, he let his hand gently cup over your cold and colorless cheek. The warmth he remembers oh so clearly, know felt like something that occurs ages ago.

He leans his forehead against yours and shutting his eyes, and allowing Yuji to take control.

You’d never heard him say, though he wished you are hear so he could that dazzling smile as he did

“I love you... S/o.”

[inviouswriting]

Bitten~

Smut

Simeon x fem!reader

Some mild warnings in place - A little sacrilege, biting, begging, a very domineering Simeon after getting bit. Orgasm delay, orgasm denial, blow job, fingering, semi-public. Good stuff~ 

It doesn’t take much to surprise Simeon. When you had used the whip of love on him on a few instances. He was excited at what more you could do with it. Leading to many nights where he spent being less of an angel. Yet treated you well, you noticed how his top hugs him, the halter leaving his shoulders uncovered.

You have been on the receiving end of a frenzied angel, you had teased him all day, unfairly. You had a feather you had traced along his back, focusing at the direct middle. Simeon had warned you about teasing him like that.

You pressed it, and soon found yourself pinned to a wall with a angel tugging aside the thin panty you wore. You both were obscured enough that no one would chance on you unless they look for you. 

Simeon silences your moans with heated kisses, a furious blush on his face at being turned on so fast. You are delicate with little scritches along the nape of his neck, ignoring the growled protest at you doing that.

He pulls your hips down to his in frequent short thrusts, his blue eyes almost look green under the light. Maybe there is something about the change and his moods. You yelp when his thrusts are more punishing bouncing you up against the wall. He had angled you just right, and you clamp your hands over your mouth to keep from sounding out too loud.

Simeon smirks, he tilts your head to his, and kisses you again. You return each of his kisses, moaning into them while he centers his thrusts just right. He feels you clench on him, close to an orgasm already, it was hard not to when his cock is nice and thick, the stretch alone has gotten you off many times more than when he thrusts harder.

You cry out louder through your hands, and think of the only other thing to muffle your voice when Simeon keeps his mouth off yours to hear you cry his name. Without another thought you sink your teeth into his right shoulder.

“Ah! Hey! That!” Simeon feels pain at first from feeling your teeth dig in. He retaliates the only way he knows and quickly tugs down the top you wear and bites back.

He makes sure to dig his fangs into your shoulder just as he feels yours. Simeon bucks wild into you as you constrict around him. He thrusts through your orgasm to push himself over, moaning into your neck as he feels you nibble along his neck adding another bite through the fabric covering it.

Simeon sucks at a spot on your neck, right above your own collar, making sure the mark he leaves is visible, both of them. When you pull back from being connected at his neck, knowing despite the fabric there is no doubt a love bite beneath it. You are met with wild blue eyes.

“My love. We are far from done here....” He let’s you down from having you pinned, you think to start adjusting your clothing. Simeon instead grabs your hands and spins you to press your front against the wall in front of you now. He lifts your skirt, and with two fingers he pushes them inside. You yelp as he holds onto your arms behind you while standing to your side.

Simeon’s fingers work their magic, you whimper as he does sinful slow pumps of his hand, enough to rock you forward and wriggling them to brush that one spot. His fingers on his gloves coated a little in white with his own seed staining the black fabric.

Your angel looks to his hand, he uses his two fingers to spread your hole open. He can see how much of his cum leaks from you as a result. Simeon bites his lip at this, he feels himself throb wanting to be buried back into you, but he needed you to beg for forgiveness for biting him. 

“Simeon! Please!” He pumps his fingers, using his thumb to rub your clit in time to his hand thrusting the digits in. Your legs already shaking as he is relentless. You could feel his demeanor change to that bit of wrath he keeps tucked away.

“Hmm? Please what? I think you owe me something.” Just when he feels your walls fluttering around his fingers. He stops moving his hand. You were right there! You almost came again from his hand. You sob in frustration, you need him now.

“S...imeon!!! I need you!” You avoid saying sorry for the bite. Simeon begins to tug his fingers back, and you panic internally at the thought of those slender digits not making you cum.

“My lamb, You did something I don’t know if I want to forgive you for yet. You should apologize for biting me. I think I saw a side in you I want to punish for once.” His tone is playful, his fingers rubbing just at the ring he slips his fingers in and out just there. You would move if he didn’t still have a firm grip on your arms to prevent you. 

“I didn’t mean to bite so hard... I am sorry! Please! Simeon! I need you! I want you!!” You plead him, you rock your hips to a rhythm he sets, but he doesn’t “quite” give you a fulfilling stretch, reducing his fingers down to a single one hooking it down towards your belly his eyes cast down to see how you stretch for him.

“Hmm? You need what from me? Apology not accepted. I think you need to get on your knees for forgiveness and pray properly to me.” Simeon leaves you feeling unsatisfied for now, and lets go of your hands to urge you to do as he instructs. 

You are quick to flip around and kneel down. Simeon glances down and you can see his unamused expression, he rubs the bite you left on his shoulder, you see the indents of your teeth on it. You almost smirk, if it weren’t for his eyes.

 With you on your knees you tilt your head back, Simeon moves closer presenting his cock to you, you can see the tip dripping with precum. You lean forward only for Simeon to tug his hips back and hold your head from moving closer.

“Ask for forgiveness.” He thrums his fingers on top of your head. You feel embarrassment creep through you, you glance up at him, he holds another treat just out of your reach.

“I’m sorry for biting you Simeon... please let me make it up to you.” You see his eyes soften, the green edge to his blue eyes is gone, and he moves closer.

“Almost ready to forgive you, but you still need to pray to me.” You are confused at what he means, and then it connects at the kneeling position. You bring your hands up and in front of you offering them up.

“Simeon, my angel, I pray that you please forgive my sinful ways. I seek your retribution for what I did. I need an angel to forgive me for the wrong I committed.” He smiles at this, and soon offers himself by moving close.

“That’s my lamb, I forgive you, now open.” You lift your head enough, and Simeon guides his dick letting it rub around your lips. You flick your tongue along the slit at the tip to taste him, a mix of yours and his taste. Simeon keeps the hand on your head and presses the tip of his cock against the flat of your tongue letting you rub it along the underside swirling right around it.

Simeon’s turn to moan out for you, and he guides himself into your waiting mouth. You relax your jaw and suck on him, your angel sighs content that you are doing this for him now. You do your best to fit all of him into your mouth sucking feverishly pulling off to stroke him till he grips your hair a little and has you take him deep into your throat and thrusts gently.

You follow his hips, tilting your head to the side to let his dick rub against the inside of your cheek. Simeon soon has enough, he deprives you of cumming down your throat after seeing you squeeze your thighs together. He was so mean in how he teased you with almost making you cum from his fingers.

You look up at him from your kneeling position, and Simeon drops to his own knees in front of you, he soon guides you onto your hands and knees facing away from him. You look over your shoulder when you feel him flip your skirt up, and tug down your panties to prevent them from riding up between you both.

Simeon hums happily to himself as he uses his fingers to spread your folds apart, he notes how much you are dripping wet, He pushes his hips forward and slides his cock along your hot folds. He hisses under his breath at how slick you are, and how his relief brushes pass him. His eyes focused on how you are slit around his dick and sliding along it.

Just when you think he was going to keep teasing you like this, you feel the head of him push into your pussy. Finally, you feel him push in slow savoring how hot and how soaked you are just for him.

Simeon leans over your back pressing his upper-half to yours, and pushes you down with himself. He keeps your rear raised as he begins to thrust hard, he moves in such a way you don’t care who hears you call his name. Your fingers dig at the ground as your angel rams into that one spot.

You see white, and he feels you grip wonderfully around him. A satisfied grunt escapes Simeon as he repeats that thrust to feel your walls squish around him. Your fingers claw at the earth below them, the sensation in your belly pools, you feel hot, very hot from Simeon going wild with you.

One of his hands sneaks underneath to rub your clit while he continues to pound into you. You even feel his balls smack against your clit when he keeps your folds spread for it. Simeon presses kisses against the right side of your neck down to your ear to breathe a hot breath on it.

“My lamb, I hope you are ready for me.. I am going to cum inside you... there is a possibility of you being bred from me, given how I am an angel. Is that okay with you? Do you want to be bred? I know you do.. I can feel how you grip me, how you don’t want to let go of my cock till it is fully milked within you.” You let out a wild groan from his words. You only wish you could see his face, what kind of expression he is making while he says these words.

You want to look over your shoulder, but Simeon plants a hand on the top of your head to keep you from doing so. He even hums in your ear grabbing a strip of cloth to wind around your head and obstruct your eyes. 

“Can’t have you going blind love.” You feel something soft on your arms, feather light, you reach for them and they’re feathers. You rub one between your thumb and fingers to feel how soft they are. Simeon summoned them to obstruct you from the world, you are now a sight for only him to behold.

“Simeon!! Please!!!! I need it! I need you! Cum!” You feel him twitch inside, and his hands move from where they are, the warmth of his front off your back. You feel hands on your waist and harder thrusts being made, all into that spot that makes you feel like you’re going to burst from pleasure. Your voice is wild and sounds out, between panted breath and his name.

Simeon edges you further onto the path to cum with him. Till he feels you clench on him like earlier, you cry out and he feels wet heat gush against the front of his pants. You feel every nerve you have let go, and Simeon keeps thrusting through your orgasm again. Feeling the way you grip tighter and tighter till he is buried deep and spends his cum into you till it spills out around his cock.

Simeon presses back down on top of you, using his wings to almost cocoon you both. His arms wrap around you, you shake underneath him as he kisses the side of your neck where he bit you earlier. You shiver and shudder in aftershocks unable to even think right. Simeon is content with this, seeing you so lost in bliss, buried deep within you, waiting for you to let go of him so he can pull out and get you both somewhere more private than the hidden garden in Purgatory Hall. 

You feel more nibbling, you also feel how your angel isn’t done with you yet. Already hardening for more at seeing how beautiful you look blissed out and moaning softly for more.

“My love is sure greedy tonight. Perhaps I need to punish you for more of these sins? What do you think? Lust and Gluttony should be fed will here. I know I have yet to be satisfied.” You hear him murmur against your ear.

“Please!! More!!”

[get-shiggy-with-it]

*°:⋆ₓₒCollab Masterlistₓₒ⋆:°*

Pairing: All Might x Gn!Dom!Reader (Theme for this month was sex work au!)

Word Count: 6.2k

Warnings: 18+ this is a dark fic, both dubcon/noncon, straight up, forced submission, bit of mind break, dom/sub dynamics, sub!All Might, dominant All Might later in, dark All Might, violence against reader, bodily harm, face fucking, spanking (for Toshi), thigh riding (for Toshi), blackmail, minor mentions of blood, bondage/rope play, reader is gender neutral, no pronouns used

Summary: You work as a popular dominant for pro heroes who need to give up control once in awhile and Yagi Toshinori is one of your best clients. But when word gets out to the media about your involvement with pros, you decide to take matters into your own hands. Though you quickly discover All Might does not take kindly to anyone who threatens his reputation. 

It was all about the exchanging of power. 

About the relinquishing of control—about letting go and the freedom that came with it.  

And you?

You were just there to facilitate, to take over, to release all those bottled up years of stress that the camera’s weren’t supposed to see. 

But you did. 

You saw all of it. 

It was about trust too. Trust in you to give them what they need and trust in them to do exactly as you instructed. And most of all, trust that everything stayed confidential. That the things said through tears and whimpers and sighs were kept quiet. Trust that they would show you the same respect and privacy you showed them. 

You took these rules very seriously. They were the foundation your business was built on and it had earned you quite a lot of credibility. You prided yourself on it, as you should. Professionalism was key in your line of work. It made the clients feel a bit more comfortable—counteracted the sense of taboo that was usually associated with people like you. 

People in “your line of work,” was the common way of referencing it. But you preferred to be clear and upfront, not skirt around the edges as though your job was something shameful.

Language was important too. 

“Client,” “session,” etc...all added a buffering degree of separation for those you serviced. It was a crucial part of the balance which has allowed you to be so successful. They needed to be able to remove themselves from who they became once you were alone together. You’d learned that some amount of plausible deniability was key to achieving the complete relinquishing of authority. They had to be able to convince themselves after they’d walked away, that the crying, begging mess they’d become wasn’t who they really were—wasn’t actually a part of them, just something you’d done.

And by them, of course, you meant the heroes you served so dutifully. 

And by serve, you meant completely and utterly dominate. 

Contradictory to most common misconceptions, your job wasn’t always about sex—though it could be and was at time—but truly, it was about release. 

And above all, it was about power and who got to hold it. 

When that structure was broken—when the rules were strayed from—that’s when things got murky. But you were good at what you did, so luckily, that hadn’t been much of an issue. 

What more could one expect from someone whose services are sought out by the Symbol of Peace himself?

Hm. 

You really ought to get that put on your business cards. 

***

It was late when he came to you, though that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Occasional hero work coupled with a teaching schedule and numerous media appearances left one very little free time. Fortunately, you conducted most of your business during the small hours of the morning, so Yagi Toshinori showing up at your door as the clock ticked its way past two wasn’t a shock. 

You fell into the usual rhythm of things easily. 

Toshi was one of your newest, but most favorite clients. You came highly recommended from many of his coworkers, and after an initial meeting over drinks to discuss his needs, you struck up a routine that worked for the both of you. 

Of course he paid you handsomely for your time. 

Constantly being in the public eye, acting as an unwavering representation of hope for the future was tiring. You were more than happy to take the weight off his very broad shoulders for once. 

And bend him over your knee instead. 

“Five,” he panted, whimpers of thanks and your name spilling out around his loose tongue as your hand connected sharply with the meat of his ass again. 

You always asked to be called by name, no frilly titles to get in the way and complicate the dynamic. When they walked into your space, they set aside their hero personas and you afforded them the same intimacy. 

Names meant something. Names were power and so they mattered, particularly in this game you played together. Equality had to be achieved before domination. 

“Good boy Toshi, you’re doing so well,” you cooed and brought your palm down twice, watching the skin on the backs of his thighs bloom pink like sakura in the spring. 

“S-six, seven,” there was a wet spot forming under his mouth on the sheets and on your lap where his cock was bare and leaking. “Ah, please—harder!” 

You raised your brow as he turned his head to look at you with those teary, dark eyes and you could never resist a look like that. 

“You want it harder, why’s that?” you wound back and smacked roughly over the raised welts that made him hiss and sob. “Is this what you deserve for being so weak?”

He may have been thin now, skeletal compared to the face he showed the public, but you didn’t mind. He trusted you enough to let his guard down, and his weight was still thick and full across your legs. It was invigorating to see a man like All Might, reduced to this. Whatever pent up guilt he carried inside, you were here to help let it all out in the best way you knew how. 

“Yes!” Toshi cried and buried his face into the plush fabric of your comforter as you delivered the last three harsh blows of the punishment he paid you for. “Fuck yes, I’m weak and I’m a failure and I deserve this—!”

“That’s right, you’re a piss poor excuse for a hero and you haven’t earned your title,” you wrapped two thick locks of his hair around your hand and yanked hard till he craned his neck to face you. “What would the world say if they could see what a sobbing mess you are when no one’s looking?”

He opened his mouth to speak, hips twitching and grinding uselessly against your thigh. The second that plush pink tongue dipped past his lips, you were rearing back to spit straight between his teeth. 

Toshi’s face was always priceless in these moments. You’d almost be willing to do it for free if you only got to see the way his brows shot up and those red rimmed eyes blew so wide as you steeled yourself and looked him dead on. 

“Now, swallow like the little bitch I know you are.” 

And he did, of course he does, because behind your bedroom door Yagi Toshinori was your good boy. So you got to watch his throat bob as your spit slid down and he moaned so pretty at the awful things you said to him. 

Your palm kneaded against the red, raw flesh of his ass and you watched how he squirmed at the sting. The room was filled with the scent of sweat and expensive cologne. Your head was spinning from the smell alone and the high of the control you wielded over this man. His hands fisted hard in your bed sheets and you let him helplessly rut against you a few times before running your free hand up the graceful curve of his spine. 

“Oh, you really are so disgusting Toshi,” you mused as your nails dig into the planes of muscles to drag angry red lines over the skin. “Did you really get that hard from me slapping this tight little ass of yours?”

He groaned pathetically and nodded, not bothering to hide how his dick had been oozing obscene amounts of precum every time you etched a new welt on his skin. The blush that crept up his chest and painted his cheeks had spread between his legs too. The unfairly massive cock that Toshi sported was flushed a dark angry red at the tip and you couldn’t help but have mercy on him. 

Well, only a little bit. 

You weren’t here to be nice tonight, even if a part of you might have liked to be. 

“Do you want to cum, Toshi?” you asked, lacing your voice with the false sweetness you knew he loved. “Have you been aching for it all night?”

He keened, crying your name and rutting his hips harder against you. It sent a rush of warmth between your legs despite your better efforts to remain unaffected. This wasn’t about you, this was about ownership and his pleasure. 

“Mhmm,” his voice was little more than a rasp, “wanna cum so bad, please!”   

You laughed, but it was a cruel thing and you knew he could feel the rumble of it in his scarred chest. 

“You did so perfectly taking your punishment,” you raked your nails over the raised handprints again just to hear him cry out. “I suppose I’ll let you cum, but you’ll have to work for it.” 

Toshi’s breathing was ragged as you helped him up to straddle one of your legs. His swollen cock rested on the plushest part of your thigh, the tip nudging your hip and drawing choked gasps from the man towering above you. 

He stared down at you, confused when you didn’t move to stroke him. 

“Go on, then,” you smiled up at him, resting your weight on your palms so you could lean back and watch the show. “I said you’d have to work for it, didn’t I?”

You punctuated your question with a bounce of your knee that rocked his length against the fabric of your pants. It didn’t take long for him to catch on, eyes squeezing shut against the waves of shame and embarrassment that just made it so much hotter as he slowly began to ride your thigh. 

He might be paying you to be ruthless, but Toshi was kind to a fault from what you’ve learned of him and he ke[t most of his massive weight held on the balls of his feet so you weren’t crushed below him. Under any other circumstances, you might have actually enjoyed that quite a bit, but his face—cherry red with spit-slicked lips held parted with the force of his pants—was enough for now. 

His cock was so heavy you almost couldn’t believe it was real. You nearly didn’t the first time he’d stripped for you, but even just the drag of it through your clothes was delectable. It was so long and thick you needed both hands to wrap fully around it, and he gushed like a fucking gieser when you got him under your metaphorical boot. 

With every rock of his bony hips, his length was forced up against the curve of your stomach and he whined at the glistening strands of slick that connected his tip to you.   

“Come on, Toshi,” you clicked your tongue disappointedly at him, letting a hand fall to the puckered skin at his waist, squeezing harshly. “I know you can do better than that.”

He was beyond words now, you could tell by the way his jaw was loose and his teeth clacked with every thrust, but he did gasp out a long, high pitched moan that made up for it. The speed of his humping increased, becoming erratic as he hunched on the bed, hands beside yours. He loomed over you but anyone could tell just by the composed, serene smile playing at your lips—and the absolutely wrecked noises spilling from Toshi—just which one of you was really in control. 

“You’re so close, aren’t you?” 

You knew he liked it when you spewed filth to him right before he boiled over and you were more than willing to oblige. 

“You’re gonna cum like a fucking teenager humping his pillow, isn’t that right?” you snarled the words up at him and he really did cry then, big fat tears dripping down onto your shirt. “All Might, the number one hero is gonna cum all over my lap like the slut he is.”

He nods frantically. You know his balls were tensing up as he sobbed and spluttered—completely ruined. Just the way he needed to be. 

“Then cum.” 

You finally wrapped your fist just around his aching tip and he exploded into your palm. Rope after rope of sticky, white release coated your arm and dripped onto the bed. He kept grinding his hips, working himself through the climax, cock still pulsing and leaking in your grip. You didn’t mind the mess. 

He always tipped a bit extra if he left stains anyway. 

Such a gentleman.

When the last wave of his orgasm had petered out, Toshi collapsed to the side with his face buried in your pillow and his long legs still strewn across your lap. He didn’t usually ask for much in the realm of aftercare, preferring that you cleaned him and let him rest for a bit before he suited up and rushed off into the night. 

You gave him a minute before you got up to wet a warm cloth in the sink. He looked so destroyed, you couldn’t help but admire your handiwork. As you palm his ass once more, fingers spreading him so his pink hole was on display, you slipped your phone silently from your pocket, and snapped a few shots of the nasty red hand marks and smears of cum as he groaned deeply at the touch. 

His voice was lower as he grunted and you could tell he’s coming out of the subspace you’d thrust him into hours before. Quickly you slid the device smoothly away before lifting his legs from you and settling them gently on the bed to work on tidying up your mess. 

You didn’t feel particularly good about keeping this kind of collateral, but as much power as you hold in the four walls of your bedroom, you were frustratingly weak once you left them. These men you worked with, while generally professional, were also top heroes. Top heroes who really didn’t want their embarrassing private lives getting out. Top heroes who thrived off reputation and who would willingly throw you under the bus in a second to protect that. 

You liked Yagi Toshinori. 

But you didn’t know him. 

Smacking someone’s ass or stroking their cock every few weeks didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. 

So you kept your personal insurance that would be there should one of your clientele decide to forsake you in favor of their public image. And you would never use it unless you absolutely had too. 

After all, this was about trust and power and the exchange of those two things. Or at least it was supposed to be. Trust was quite a subjective thing. 

The general citizenry trusted All Might to protect them against the growing evil in Japan’s underground. But behind the scenes, you knew his failing health had caused him to seek you out as the intense guilt of his lie came crashing down on him.

Toshi trusted you to relieve his pain and indulge in his degrading fantasies, and you hadn’t failed him yet. 

But your trust was not easily bought, and none of your customers ever paid much mind to whether your perceived belief in them was genuine. 

After so many glimpses into the messes of pro-heroes personal lives, you knew you’d have to be your own protector. Hence, the photos remained in a locked folder hidden away as you sat yourself down next to the dozing hero and wiped away as much evidence of your meeting as you could. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked quietly, lathing the warm cloth between his legs and softening length. 

“Good, all things considered,” he responded, voice returned to it’s normal, deep baritone. 

“I sincerely hope you won’t have to do much sitting tomorrow,” you quipped and it earned you a chuckle. 

“I’ll manage.” 

You rolled him gently and finished clearing the rest of his spend from the flat expanse of his stomach. Toshi mumbled his thanks and you gave his thigh a friendly squeeze before retreating from the room to shower and change yourself. 

He’d be gone by the time you got out, notification of payment on your phone and a sizable tip left on your dresser as a parting gift. 

And as long as Yagi Toshinori was just as good a boy on the outside as he was here, then the world would never need to know what their Symbol of Peace got up behind your closed doors. 

***

“All Might! Mister All Might, sir!” 

The grating voice of that shithead reporter echoed through the speakers of your headphones over and over again. Your hand shook as the train stuttered to a halt and a wave of passengers burst out onto the platform. 

“All Might, are the rumors true!?” 

Your stomach sank as the reporter shouted your name above the ruckus of microphones and camera flashes and roaring bodies. Their voice was like chalk on your tongue, dry and cracked and clamoring to know whether the Symbol of Peace was involved with the recently revealed ‘seedy’ and ‘scandalous’ sex ring between yourself and multiple top ranking heroes. 

You’d been out having a relaxing lunch with friends in the city when everyone’s phones blew up. It wasn’t that you hid the general details of your job, but by the looks on their faces were enough to make your face burn. The judgement was clear—what you did was abhorrent, disgusting and by extension, so were you. Reporters had caught you on camera with a certain second ranking pro and very quickly deduced exactly who you were and what services you offered. 

The tabloids took it and ran, dragging your reputation behind them. 

Call after call and text, dms on your social media pages, all from news outlets requesting interviews or quotes or hero fans calling you a ‘shameless whore’ for going after pros—hell death threats had even begun to fill your inboxes. 

Hero fans really were ride or die, you supposed, although the ‘die’ in that scenario seemed to refer more to you than themselves. They would never believe their precious big boy crush had ever associated with the likes of you, had ever willingly kneeled for you—had ever enjoyed it. 

They couldn’t understand the things you did, all they saw was some false emasculation.   

And if it came out that Toshinori had any contact with you, his career would be ruined. 

You had hoped from the little you’d learned about him in your sessions, that he’d simply deny knowing you existed at all. That he’d have mercy on you, treat you like the thousand helpless civilians he pulled from burning buildings or whatever the hell heroes did these days. 

But you’d been right before to say that you didn’t know Toshi. 

And now you certainly didn’t like him either. 

“Are you one of the pros involved?” the reporter hounded again as All Might’s massive form panned into frame. 

“As your Symbol of Peace, I certainly do not partake in such degenerate behavior,” his words rang out, deep and resonating. “I would never associate with someone who’s actions border on criminal.” 

The dark, soulless pits he called eyes stared mockingly from your tiny screen as his signature laugh reverberated through your ears along with the train’s clacking breaks. You ripped the headphones from your ears and closed out of the app, ducking your head and pushing towards the door. Everyone’s eyes were drilling into you, worming deep under your skin and making you squirm like so many of those heroes had done on your silk sheets. 

Rationally, you were aware not many people would have seen the story yet. Tabloid trash took a day or two to disseminate into the general social media outlets and for people to take notice. Your friends only knew because your name stuck out to them, but you were hardly recognizable in your typical citizen attire. Even still. 

Your life, your work, all of it was on display. 

And he’d called you a degenerate. 

The infallible All Might had taken your name and tossed it in the guttered, likened you to a villain and single handedly destroyed everything you’d built in the process. 

Years of effort and crawling your way up the ranks of society all for nothing.  

All so some washed up hero could keep his fantasy of success going for just a little longer. Toshi trusted you with his secrets, his weakness, his body, and you’d defended that at every turn. The only thing he had to do was pay a small fee for your time and discretion. 

But no amount of money could fix your toppled character. Nothing could reverse your place as a disgusting slut in the eyes of literal millions of people. 

Bold of Yagi Toshinori to underestimate you so thoroughly, to think that you’d sit back in the rubble as he rescued cats and little kids and lived his delusion of perfection.

This was about trust and power. 

When those lines were crossed, that’s when things got messy. 

And you’d make sure to leave so big a mess, Toshi would never dream of coming back from it. 

***

Your apartment building was thankfully free of any press when you arrived home. It had been a few days since All Might instigated your public slander, but the mass media hadn’t managed to track you down after you went into a short period of hiding. 

You needed time to let all your other clients involved in the scandal play their cards. 

There would be no use in condemning one just to have them warn the rest of their equally impending doom. That way you could be assured they’d all come crashing down with you. Especially the blonde poster boy of hero society himself. 

His would be the sweetest fall. 

It had been long enough now that you could start compiling. You locked the door behind you, shrugging off your coat and settling on the couch. The plush cushions sank as you fell back, pulling out your phone and scrolling through your contacts. Toshi was there, two red and blue hearts on either side of his name. You pulled up his text thread. 

You’d thought about going public of course. 

Of course you had.

Your entire career had been trashed, you’d been shamed by the number one hero himself and your personal life was blasted over social media. 

But you were human, so you were weak. 

And you had liked Toshi. 

Well, you hated him now—a deeply dark, burning resentment—but before that, he’d been so sweet to you in a way that most were not. Respectful and nice and you were unused to it. So, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to eradicate his credibility in the same outright manner. 

No, you had decided you’d give him a chance.

Because you were better than him. 

A chance to atone, come clean, apologize the way you’re sure he would if his public image wasn’t so goddamn important to him. So you didn’t reach out to any of the media outlets that had been hounding your socials for the past week, and didn't offer them the inside scoop quite yet. Instead, you stared at the handsome contact photo of your hero client and slowly typed him up a message he couldn’t ignore. 

It was short and sweet, polite but firm. You acknowledged he most certainly did not want to speak with you—in fact, you weren’t very inclined to speak with him ever again either—but you happened to be in possession of some fairly compromising photographic evidence of your time together. And if that evidence were ever to, say, end up in the pocket of the exact scandal rag that sent voice clips of All Might all but denouncing you as a whore to the nation, well. Things would certainly not end well for him. 

But, you were nothing if not professional. 

He knew that. 

You never wanted to use these, but he had forced your hand. Of course you were more than willing to work out a deal with him. 

He was your favorite client after all. 

In any case, he knew how to reach you, and he had a generous 48 hours to give you an answer to your proposition. 

Oh and you were kind enough to provide a little snapshot of just exactly the type of evidence you meant. 

Your thumb hovered over the little blue arrow to send. The phone clacked against your nails as it shook in your grip, slick from sweat and frayed nerves. You couldn’t quite tell if you were anxious or angry or some awful combination of the two, but your heart was in your throat as you shut your eyes and pressed send. 

There was no going back, and if this all came tumbling to the ground, you promised yourself that you would shatter gracefully. 

Letting the screen go dim, you stared in silence at the small check mark confirming the message had been delivered and your fate sealed. You pulled yourself to your feet and made your way to the bedroom. 

He’d get back to you soon, or maybe he wouldn’t. You couldn’t know for sure whether or not Toshi would simply ignore your texts and be blindsided when the deadline passed and you destroyed him all over again in a far less enjoyable manner than you used to. But whatever the case, it was out of your hands for now. 

With aching feet and tired eyes, you stripped slowly and stumbled towards the bathroom. Turning the water to just below scalding, you did your best to scrub away any pesky remaining guilt that clung to you in a thin, suffocating film. 

You told yourself that there was no other choice. That you would have found another way if there was one. That this was how business often went. You had seen it before when you first entered in the field of sex work and you’d see it again. So you scrubbed yourself raw and let all your doubts trickle down the drain. 

Tonight, you would sleep restlessly, but it was a fair enough burden to carry for your honor. 

You were foolish to believe the cost of revenge wouldn’t bear a heftier price. 

***

You woke slowly, trapped momentarily in the strange limbo between sleep and consciousness that fooled you into thinking the strange tightness at your wrists was nothing more than a leftover side effect of a dream. 

The reality was so much worse.

It wasn’t until you felt the blunt, radiating sting of knuckles backhanded against your cheek that the haze of sleep fell away, and you could truly appreciate the scene before you. 

Which was to say, you could take the opportunity to scream before Yagi Toshinori’s fingers were shoved down your throat to muffle the noise. He was large, shirt seams full to bursting, and sporting an expression you’d never seen before. His eyes, while always dark, were like holes now and they filled you with an unfamiliar sense of dread. 

He’d called you a villain before, and now he was looking at you like one too. 

“Oh no,” Toshi hissed. His voice was impossibly deep, reverberating against your ribs painfully, “I don’t want to hear anything out of you.” 

One quick bout of struggling made it very apparent he didn’t want you moving either as your wrists had been bound behind your back and your ankles were similarly immobilized. The fingers in your mouth pressed hard on your tongue, his thumb pushing below your chin to make you choke and splutter. 

“You really let all that power get to your head, didn’t you?” Toshi’s voice was buzzing in your ears and mingling with the pain in your jaw. He put one massive knee on the mattress and hooked his fingers behind your teeth, forcing you to sit up from the bed.

You could feel your face burn as he looked down at you, drool slipping passed your lips and coating his fingers. The straining bulge in his pants looked even bigger than you remembered now that he was no longer the slip of a man you’d come to know as Yagi Toshinori. 

No this was All Might, the Symbol of Peace. 

And you got the feeling that whatever was about to happen, it was not going to be peaceful for you.  

He had you tied and trussed like a piece of meat, and he would treat you like one. You’d seen this before, you’d tied these knots—he’d been where you were now, but he’d asked for it. The loss of control was never something you’d delighted in on a good day, and now the rising pressure in your chest and the sensation of walls closing had panic coursing through you.  

“Did you really think that I’d come back here willing to grovel at your feet?” he jeered, the trademark smile on his face more snarl than grin. 

He shook your jaw violently in his grasp, listening to the joints pop as they tried to stretch around his thick fingers. Your name left his mouth in a mock coo, just as you had done to him so many nights before. “Remember, you might get to call me a bitch but it’s only because I let you.”

Your hands trembled violently against the bonds which tore the delicate skin and rubbed it raw. Toshi’s free hand traveled along his thigh to rub himself through his pants, his knuckles brushing your nose as he bucked into his palm. 

“But now you’ve stepped out of line,” he mused and clicked his tongue as though you were a student who’d done poorly on his latest exam. “And I’m going to make sure that whore mouth of yours never utters my fucking name again.” 

Eyes wide with horror, you watched as Toshi’s fingers fumbled with the button and zipper of his slacks until his cock had sprung free, monstrous in length and girth, dripping onto your forehead. 

You’d seen it before, but it seemed bigger now. So big that you’d never been able to take it, and Toshi had been staunchly against you ever trying lest he quite literally split you in two. But any kindness he’d shown you before was clearly off the table. His fingers pumped in and out of your throat as if preparing you somehow to take the stretch. It wouldn’t help. You knew that. He knew that. 

Toshinori smiled as he removed his fingers in favor of digging the spit slicked digits into the joints of your jaw, ensuring you wouldn’t bite down on him as he pressed the spongy tip to your lips. The panic that had set in—making your blood rush and your limbs shake—was constricting your chest and the pressure of Toshi’s dick pushing past your teeth made your breathing even more erratic. 

You whimpered loudly, trying to wrench your head away as the strong salt and musk flavor of his pre cum spread across your tongue, but that only made him thrust forward harder. His length quickly hit resistance back of your throat as you gagged and tears burned at the corners of your eyes. 

The ache in your jaw was already unbearable and your bottom lip was being rubbed raw by warm spit and the friction of Toshi roughly fighting to sink his dick fully into your mouth. 

“Mm, that’s it,” he groaned as you inadvertently licked over his tip, trying to force him away. “You look so much better like this.” 

He ran a falsely sweet hand across your cheek, collecting the stream of tears and using the moisture to slick the rest of his length. Your chest heaved in a mixture of gags and increasingly violent sobbing. You were stretched painfully wide as he rolled his hips again, pushing the thickest bit of his cock into your mouth and forcing your teeth to dig painfully into your upper lip. With the next thrust, he was able to sink another excruciating inch deep into your throat. Blood rushed from where you bit yourself and caused crimson streaks to form as Toshi fucked slowly into your mouth. 

Your mind was slipping. 

You’d had so little time to process the encounter, so instead your brain had secluded most of your consciousness into a precious little box, away from the intense burning in your throat as Toshi finally sank all of his innumerable inches completely into you. Your throat bulged and protested, tightening in an attempt to force him out. 

It only made him moan loudly and dig his fingers into your hair. 

“See?” he huffed, pulling out at an agonizing pace only to ram his length in roughly to the hilt. “I’d never lie to my public, you really are just as much of a slut as they say you are.” 

You shrieked around his cock, though it was muffled so badly by the lack of air and the wet slap of his constant thrusting that no one but you could hear the screaming in your own head. The pain was unbearable, this awful friction burning sensation that had your stomach churning and your chest wracked with stifled cries. Your bound legs kicked and your fingers grasped useless at the sheets as Toshi fucked your mouth reckless abandon. 

Time blurred along with your vision, whether from the lack of oxygen or the tears you weren’t sure. 

And most horrifyingly of all, was the pleasure that grew as your mind drowned the pain in darkness. You felt as though you were floating, disgusted but euphoric and the slide of him against your lips became delicious. Heat rose in you and built between your legs accompanied by a distant and unfamiliar ache to please, to be touched, to taste him, to obey.

You wondered if this was how he felt when you forced his mouth on you. If he slid into this strange space where your mind was a separate entity and the only thing that mattered was the pain and the pleasure and the release. 

Because somehow, in the midst of your struggle and revulsion, he’d made this strange, incorporeal part of you enjoy this. 

All the fight had drained out of you, letting your jaw hang slack and your tongue flick up to catch his tip on every backstroke. Your eyes flitted up to look at him through the haze of tears and sweat, hoping strangely that he’d be pleased with you. And the groan you earned yourself was delectable. 

You gave in, then. Let yourself be swept away by the rushing of blood in your ears and the rhythm of Toshi tearing you apart.  

At some point, you could distantly feel his thrusts becoming more erratic, turning into a rough grinding in your mouth. 

You couldn’t even taste it when he came, his cock was too obscenely deep in your neck, but the warmth of it burned your bleeding throat and filled your belly with a hot finality. 

You weren’t even afforded the dignity of spitting his seed onto the floor where it belonged, ignoring the searing voice in your head that revealed in being rewarded with his essence. 

When Toshi finally pulled out and tucked himself away, your head fell limply to your chest. A series of violent coughs erupted from you as a thick, viscous mixture of blood and spit and cum dripped from your tongue. 

Those impossibly large hands gripped your chin once again, forcing you to look up into those piercing black eyes. 

“Now, you’re never going to speak about me again,” he wasn’t asking but you glared up at him as his hand fumbled in his pocket, pulling out his phone. 

The device was comically small in those hands of his as he aimed it at your ruined face and snapped a picture—the flash blinding you while he reached around and roughly undid the knotted rope keeping you in place. 

“Because if you do, I’ll make sure those reporters know everything I said about you was nothing but the truth.” 

The loudest part of you wanted to scream, to punch and bite and tell him it wasn’t. That you were a professional, with self-respect and dignity and you were good and your job, but— 

But when you opened your sore and aching jaw to shout, nothing came out. 

No sound, no yell, no words. 

Just this awful rasp that made your throat feel like pins were sticking into the abused flesh. 

“Well, looks like I might not need this after all,” Toshi dangled the phone in front of your face before pocketing it once again. “Looks like you won’t be saying much of anything for a good long while.”

And then Yagi Toshinori left. 

He turned on his heel and walked out as you toppled off the bed behind him, trying so hard to scream despite the pain and the ripping in your chest—whether they were curses or cries for him to stay, you weren’t sure.  

But there was nothing either way. 

So you sat and screamed in silent agony at his retreating form until the sound of a door slamming rang out through your home. 

It seemed that in all your years of playing this game, you’d finally been toppled off your tightrope. 

Because you were good at your job, so you knew. It was all about the exchange of power, and yours had just been thoroughly stripped away.