#if they haven't done so by now - more than 2 months out - then theyre not gonna

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[pleckthaniel]

ask meme. dovewing

Disclaimer I haven't sat down and actually read an OOTS book since they first came out Nearly Ten Years Ago and forgot basically everything that happened in AVOS as soon as it I finished reading it, so a lot of this is going off of very hazy memories and Vibes

What I love about them: *points* gifted kid. same girl. i still haven’t read dovewing’s silence just cause, idk, im not super into the novella’s, but that’s one that’s actually on my list of ‘maybe someday’ just because former-gifted-kid-hashtag-Struggling-to-move-on!dovewing is my absolute favorite of all potential versions of her. it’s an archetype i really like, a super kindhearted character who takes on the duties of a hero and then struggles with the psychological consequences of it, and it’s an archetype that’s usually restricted to male characters, and it’s also honestly not super common anymore for a number of reasons. so

What I hate about them: not even really about Her so much as how she’s written but i just hate hatE how much of her arc revolves around romantic drama... like i truly don’t care... it’s not even that i don’t care about romantic drama because i definitely do, and it’s not that i don’t care about romantic drama in warrior cats because while characters whose lives center around romantic drama in warrior cats often suck it can be done quite well at times imo (graystripe, crowfeather, bristlefrost). it’s just that the way it was written with dovewing in particular that really rubbed me the wrong fucking way. part of that though could be residual annoyance from 11-year-old-me that in OOTS the erins seemed to be fairly transparently trying to tap into the then-mega-popular YA love triangle trope complete with fairly paint-by-numbers competing love interests

Favorite Moment/Quote: uh like i said i don’t recall oots super clearly but i do still love that dovewing heard there was a fourth cat and even though her and ivypool had been sort of on and off feuding for months she still instantly went well Clearly it’s my sister. and was even willing to argue with jayfeather and lionblaze about it. very sweet

What I would like to see more focus on: PLEASE ERINS GIVE US ANY INFORMATION ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH ANYONE IN SHADOWCLAN OTHER THAN TIGERSTAR AND HER CHILDREN it’s NOT HEALTHY for him and his mom and their children to be THE ONLY PEOPLE SHE’S FRIENDS WITH JUST GIVE ME LIKE ONE FRIENDLY LAUGH WITH CLOVERFOOT OR SOMETHING PLEASE it makes me so uneasy that she’s just /living there/ and appears to have no real connection to anyone except as THEIR SORT OF SYMBOLIC SURROGATE MOTHER AS THE FIRST LADY OF THEIR CLAN

What I would like to see less focus on: again. romantic drama. which is kind of over now, since tigerstar and her had kids and post-childbirth divorce doesn’t exist in warrior cats for anyone except crowfeather and nightcloud. but like, retrospectively - if i could rewrite her character - i would boot the romance drama.

Favorite pairing with: probably briarlight? again because of the romance drama and the way it’s handled so clumsily with her and all of that dovewing is kind of one of those characters i don’t ship so much. there are a lot of ships with her i can theoretically get behind but im not really actively interested in any of them

Favorite friendship: i don’t know if they’re even actually friends in any sense but i find her potentially extant relationship with jayfeather to be. fascinating. theyre such an odd couple and youd think hed be less intimidating to her than lionblaze but on some level also no he might actually be harder for her to connect with but she still manages to it’s just. interesting 2 me

NOTP: bumbledove. it probably could’ve been like theoretically recoverable until he propositioned her in the middle of a funeral lol

Favorite headcanon: blue eyes dovewing. sorry not sorry it’s what i first pictured her like as a kid reading OOTS and now it’s never going to leave me <3

[xnightingalegirlx]

Returning

Ah yeah, a new chapter of SWY will be up in two days time. And I'll finally be returning to quotev and wattpad.

Hooraaay

(Long rant below, I'm sorry)

Not gonna lie, I'm having mixed feelings about it. I've managed to write the next few chapters, but theyre all so... diluted. It feels strained and awkward. I was trying to not exceed 3000 words on each one, but it just made them feel very draggy.

I really hate the chapters I've managed to write, and I wish I could rewrite them.

But knowing me, it would just end up worse. And besides, added up, the words I've written is approximately... 20 000 words? The thought of rewriting all that stresses me.

When I return, I want to return well, if that makes sense. I don't want to just slide back and be like "Oh lmao hi guys I was slacking while I was gone. And nothing much about me has changed, so yeah obviously I was using my health as a crappy excuse. Now have an even crappier draggy chapter." Haha. I wish I can return and be able to honestly tell the friends that I've made- that I haven't contacted in months for that matter- that I'm feeling better and I know what I want to do. I want to be able to give actually decent writing and show anyone (if there's any) that waiting for an update was worthwhile. I want to show the people that left such sweet comments that it wasn't a waste of time for a useless person.

I wish for all that but at the end of the day, they'll stay wishes. I've always been like that.

It's scary, can I say?

Close to 150 THOUSAND reads on quotev by goodness knows how many people. Last I checked, over 10 000. Close to 50 THOUSAND reads on Wattpad and so many kind votes and comments.

I can't? It feels like a fraud. What have I done to deserve all this? Plugging out horrible cringey chapters once a week or two?

It makes no sense.

Even my least popular fic has twenty times more than I could ever have dreamt it would get.

I don't know how to feel or what to do, sometimes.

I don't know if my mental state got better during this period of time, or whether I've been bluffing myself and the people I care about.

I don't know if I'm in love with writing, or the thought of writing.

And then i feel silly because I'm making a deal out of nothing.

Urgh, look at this disgusting rant. I just needed to clear my mind, I guess. If it bothers anyone, I'll take it down. In fact, I might just take it down any way. This makes me cringe.

Hng, I just wanted to say that I'll post a new chapter in 2 days time. Thanks to all those who waited for me :')