#if this isnt true ill be v sad ):

[moose-muffin]

im new here (hiya from the hazbin tag lol) but if you do character + character requests than please PLEASE gimmie a lee!vox with ler!alastor 🙏🙏🙏hear me out... the two are fighting and al (sHocKINglY) wins out, and vox expects to like.. be beaten into the ground as a result, but nope!! he gets tickled!!! to tears!!!! smthn smthn he wasnt smilin and, yk, youre never fully dressed w/o a smile!!!

/nf to do tho ty for reading!!! <3<3

OMG OMG HELLO WELCOME I HOPE YOURE DOING GOOD YIPPEE

SO FUN FACT I WAS VERY LIKE NEUTRAL TO RADIOSTATIC BUT TONIGHT HAS BEEN (HAHAH GET IT) AN ADVENTURE AND THIS ROAD HAS BEEN SUCH A BLAST <3 THOSE TWO FUCKERS ARE SO INSTIGATIVE ITS CRAZY.

I KNOWWWW THIS AS A FIC WOULD GO C R A Z Y!!!!! IDK IF ANYONE HERE WRITE FOR VOX AND ALASTOR AND PERHAPS DOES COMMISSIONS BUT I WILL PAY!!!! PLEASE HIT ME UP OR ILL PROBABLY GO TAKE A PEAK FOR MYSELF TMR <3 AS LONG AS THATS OK ANON. (I WILL ABSOLUTELY LET IT BE POSTED AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS OK WITH IT WHICH USUALLY THEY ARE!!!!) IM GONNA TAKE SOME CREATIVE LIBERTIES AS I TYPICALLY DO HEADCANONS!

IM NOT USUALLY A CHARACTER + CHARACTER GIRLY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST!!!! HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS JUSTICE! IT WILL BE RANDOM HCS THAT ARE UNRELATED TOO. MY BRAIN IS A MESSY PLACE HWBSHWDBD

OK SO LIKE I KINDA MENTIONED, THEY BOTH LOOOOVE TO JUST GET UNDER PEOPLES SKIN. LOVE IT!!! ESPECIALLY ALASTOR. HES SUCH AN ASS (affectionate)

I’D EVEN SAY HE’S KIND OF AN INSTIGATIVE LER???? BRO IS DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GET TO TICKLE VOX LIKEEE IDK IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE. HE WILL CASUALLY WIGGLE HIS FINGERS IN CONVERSATION, TWEAK HIS RIBS FROM BEHIND, LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE. ESPECIALLY NOT TO VOX WHO IS SO FLUSTERED BY IT… ITS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

BUT! VOX HAS STARTED TO FIGURE IT OUT. AS HE IS ALSO ONE WHO LOVEEES TO GET UNDER SKIN, HE DECIDES HE’LL DO EVERYTHING TO TRIGGER A LER MOOD IN ALASTOR. IF HE CAN TELL HE ALREADY HAS ONE, HE FINDS WAYS TO SUBTLY (WE ALL KNOW HE ISNT SUBTLE THOUGH) LEAVE A SPOT UNPROTECTED. BUT ALASTOR DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! HE TRIES SO HARD TO NOT GIVE IN TO VOX BC HE “WANTED TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL” AND NOW HE ISNT AND HES #PISSED

ALSO VOX ABSOLUTELY IS HORRIFIED OF VULNERABILITY. YET HE IS ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT WITH ALASTOR HERE. SOMEHOW HE ISNT AS WORRIED ANYMORE. MAYBE HE KNOWS ALASTOR WILL REACT. HE LOVES THAT SO VERY MUCH.

AS FOR THE SPECIFIC PROMPT, OH THAT IS SO REAL!!!! ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

I DONT WRITE GOOD ROMANCE BUT LIKE UGH IMAGINE IT NOW. Alastor definitely just got himself to the V’s tower and was planning on fucking with Vox only to see he had already been kinda pissed off. Alastor wouldn’t be as satisfied if he knew he didn’t cause the frustration. He realized he could just stir the pot again. Problem solved, and what better way to solve it than using his weakness against him.. being tickled.

I’m being a little silly but genuinely Vox is so ticklish. Like most ticklish person in hell would go to him if it were an official title. That’s what I’m thinking. That being said, Alastor also knows how quickly he could get him to crumble… but wouldn’t it be more fun to take it slow.

Vox notices his presence almost immediately. He tried to ignore it as he feels his face get warm. He can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath and turns around. “Why hello, Alastor! What brings you to our building this evening?” He said in a semi newcaster voice. He wasn’t ready to drop the act

“Well Vox, I came here for a reason of my own but then I walked by your office and you looked so sad!” He began to walk closer to Vox. “You know, t they say you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Vox let out a laugh that was quite clearly untruthful. “Yes Alastor I am aware! I was alone in here and so I figured I’d just save up some energy. I’m sure you understand.”

“Quite frankly I don’t,” Alastor paused, “I think maybe I could help you get that smile back.”

Vox didn’t even have to think. He knew Alastor meant he was going to tickle him. You could ask Velvette. She’s seen those two in tickle fights that lasted for DAYS. she knows what they’re capable of, or more so what Alastor is capable of.

Vox puts up a fight for maybe a couple seconds but he just loves tickles more than he can play pretend that he doesn’t <3

It works out well for them both, Alastor gets to fuck around with Vox and well, Vox gets his shit rocked!!! And he loves that more than a lot of things.

OK IM GONNA CUT IT OFF HERE BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME BACK!!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING!! MAYBE ID DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN OR LIKE ADD ONTO THIS!!! BUT I AM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE CURRENTLY HEHE. I HOPE THESE ARE ENJOYABLE!!! (LOWKEY I WANNA ADD MORE TO THISSSS MAYBE TMR MAYBE TMR WE’LL SEE)

apologies if anything is ooc, i just do this for funsies <3

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASKK

[boywonderasf]

OKOK HEREA WE GO

before i begin Insane TED-Talk of The Day, im gonna preface that i love this take so much, but my brain does things more than one way. but both is v good!!!

anyways mb bout the rant and dont come for me if anything is incorrect or wtv. erm also i mostly focus on the main 4 batboys so pls dont be upset i didn't mention the other kids💀

ANYWAYS as the post said:

"Bruce Wayne is a dad in many different ways and for many different reasons, but chief among them is his ability to know that one of his kids is sick just by looking at them or hearing them breathe.

He can diagnose a fever with just the back of his (gloved!) hand on their forehead. He knows when they’re about to be dizzy before it even happens. He is A Dad."

OKAY NOW BUT WAIT WHAT IF HE ISNT THO LIKE MAYBE WHEN THEYRE YOUNGER BUT AROUND THEIR TEEN YEARS? ESPECIALLY DICK, WHO TURNED THIS INTO LITERALLY HIDING ILLNESS JUST SO HE COULD STILL WORK FOR BRUCE AND "NOT DISAPPOINT HIM" ??

DICK, WHO WORKS HIS ASS OFF 24/7 AND IS ALWAYS ON EVERYONE ELSES ASS SO THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES ??

CONSISTENTLY DICK HAS TRIED TO GET AWAY FROM BRUCE'S TEACHINGS AND (even though Bruce probably didnt mean for it to be unknown,) ALWAYS MAKE IT KNOWN THAT ITS OKAY TO TAKE BREAKS AND CARE FOR YOURSELF

RAUGHHH AND ON TOP OF THAT, HIS EFFORTS ARE JUST SLIGHTLY LESS THAN USELESS (slowly getting better, but still) BECAUSE HIS SIBLINGS WERE ALL STILL WITH BRUCE AND SO IT GOT INSTILLED INTO THEM TO HIDE ILLNESS AS WELL IM GOING INSANE

JASON NEVER GOES TO BRUCE FOR ANYTHING AND ALMOST NEVER GOES TO ANYBODY ELSE OR ASKS FOR HELP (for many reasons, but still)

SAME WITH FUCKIN TIMBO! KID DOESNT HAVE A SHRED OF KNOWLEDGE FOR SELF CARE IN HIS BODY

Damian was already just like that, but hes also Dick's chance to help Dami unlearn all of those behaviors the others (including himself still bc hes a giant hypocrite) couldnt unlearn. Damian is still young enough to unlearn them quicker than the others can

and listen, this may all be stemming from me wanting the ultimate hurt/comfort with this shit, Bruce not noticing one of the (18+) kids is sick and all the other siblings jump to help care for and defend that one ill person.

cause its nice. you get the hurt from Bruce being oblivious and get to use the line "worlds greatest detective my ass".

and then you get the comfort of family caring for each other/significant other caring for sad and sick batkid whos upset that Bruce didn't notice.

yeah shut up ive read a fic like this before, and yeah it was fucking fantastic actually, but still this is true regardless!!!

anywasy, again please do not come for me if this all sounds dumb as fuck and is completely incorrect for some reason, im superstoned and autistic and this is what my brain decided to fuck around with tonight.

[ilovesehun]

SENDING NUDES CHALLENGE/TAEHYUNG FF /pt -3

Instagram:

@v: hey gurl~

i opened the message while having my dinner.

me : hey~~

v: what you upto? me: eating. You?

v: just finished practising for a new song.

me: is jimin oppa there with you?😅🙃

V: 🙄if you want to talk to him text him on his insta.

me: woa~. Are you jealous 🤣

v: yes😑

me: chill bro~ v: v* or daddy* me:🫣🫠

v: anyways what are you eating?

Me: oh some gummies

V: oh gummy bears….😩im on a diet y/n!

me: hahahahaha 😌. Why would you be on a diet? You body is perfect tho.

v: how much did you check on me😏

me:😳thats not what i mean… I meant like you arent fat. v: bighit told me to…

me: thats sad…

Notification: “@kth.unknown has requested you to follow”

V: i have send you a request from my private account. Come over there.

me: what if i dont accept? 😗

v: would be disappointed.

me: haha just a sex

v: sex? Yea sure😉

me: shit its sec*

v: i got excited for a sec.

me: dont you think you are flirting with me too much?

v: yea. I like you so~ me:😳😳😳

v: what?

me: oh nothing. v: you dont like me? Oh right, you like jimin.

me: hey..

v: isnt it true?

me: its true i like jimin. But i like all of you guys.

v: am i just like that? me: you are making me hard. v: 😏hard???

me: I MEANT HARD TO DECIDE! v: woah cool cool babygurl. v: ive gotta go. We have a flight at 10pm me: oh happy journey~ v: will i be able to see you?

Me: lol no you cant. v:😞i wanted to though…

me: 😗oh…

v: well then bye. me: take care~ v: 🤍

THIS GUY IS ENDLESSLY FLIRTING WITH ME. i said tossing my phone over and starting to do my assignments.

taehyung pov:

Oh i wish i could see her…. why us a 17 y/o making me feel like this? Is it because of the stress of not being able to date?

*opened the door*

jimin: v, you want some coffee?

me: AISHHH! You scared the fork out of me.

jimin: oh….what are you hiding from me?

me: n-nothing…

jimin came and took my phone forcefully. I got flustered and tried to stop. jimin: ya!!!! Who is y/n? *smirk* me: oh just a friend.

jimin: friend????

me:y-yeah..

jimin: or girlfriend?

that made me blush and turned my ears red. jimin: NAMJOON TAE IS IN LO-

Me: shhhhh🤫. Its a secret! And we are not in love.

jimin: I’ll be quiet if you tell me the whole story.

i told him what happened and he smiled . jimin: but…isnt…she young?

Me: i know….but i feel weird…

jimin: i see….anyways get dressed. We need to go. me: yea ill be ready

jimin went towards the door. Him: good luck ;)

After he went i took my phone and saw that she accepted my request. I quickly looked through her photos.

@jihun__ 🤍

liked by jihun__ and 95 others

comments:

jihun__: 😘

ME: SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!? She is in a relationship!?. AISHHHHHH no it cant be~

i tossed my phone and started to get ready to go. I felt a heaviness in my heart after seeing that photo.

time skip:

We reached at the airport waiting for the gates to open. I took out my phone and saw y/n online. i want to clarify if she is comitted or not.

me: hey. I want to ask you something

y/n: hey taetae! Ye shoot it

me: are you in a relationship?

y/n: no

me: dont lie. Then who is he in your post?🙄

y/n: thats my cousin brother😂😂😂😂

OH GOD! Im embarrassed now…

y/n: Are you stalking me now😌😂

Me: just taking care of you from dangerous boys😉

y/n: lol. At the airport?

In the plane. Gonna take off in 15mins.

y/n : ooh nice….im actually texting v from bts..

me: lol why did you say that?

y/n: 😂i dont know i felt like you werent tae.

me: want me to prove it? y/n: how?

me: should i sent you nude?

Y/n: 😳NOOOOO

me: hahaha. y/n: put a yeontan photo as your story. Ill believe its you.

me: DID YOU REALLY THINK IM NOT V?

me: gosh…ill do it then..

I went and uploaded a photo of me and yeontan. y/n saw it and replied. y/n: you actually did it! me: yea…

y/n: upload jimin abs photo then🫣

me: 🙄always talking about jimin. y/n: y not..🙂

me: lemme reach china ill send you something.

Y/n: REALLY!? Omg no…what will jimin think. me: NOT JIMIN AISH

Y/n: someone is angry here…

me: bye the flight is boarding.

i was pissed off and went to sleep. I looked at jimin and even wonder what made him better than me… i mean he got great looks and character. BUT I DO TOOO.

(time skip)

y/n pov: it was almost 4 am and im almost done with my assignment. I thought to finish it completely so i could relax and enjoy the concert.

Notification:

@kth.unknown has send you a voice message.

omg…im feeling butterflies in my stomach now…i played along

me: im good babe~

v: first time hearing you call me that😉

me: haha u reached here?

V: yes.

V : give me your address. Ill come. Leave the door open.😉

me: gosh….bring jimin oppa too..🫣

v: AISH…

me: 🤭🤭

v:

How do i look?😉

Inner me : OMG! He is soooo hotttttt! And his beard gosh…daddy😩

me: hot tbh😅. Beard looks great on you.

v: DID U JUST CALL ME HOT? v: Someone is falling for me~ me: NO IM NOT. I just told you that you look good…

v sent an audio:

ramyeon mogko gallae~

Inner me: WHAT THE FORK IS WRONG WITH HIM😩😩😩😩. He is making me weak…

me:😳chill chill

v: why arent you sleeping? me: well..

v: study hard jagiii~ me: gosh…calling my name is so hard for you i guess..

v: you dont like me calling you jagi?

me: no.

v: ill call you baby then. me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

v: ill go freshen up and sleep. me: goodnight.

v: dream about me~🤍

I saved his photo and couldnt stop staring at it..his collarbone…nice…how nice it would be if he hard his lips on my neck…i was feeling aroused by him…the way he calls me baby jagi makes me shy and have butterflies.

Taehyung pov:

i went to sleep for a few hours and woke up at 10am. I saw y/n added to their story.

HOLY SHIT. She isnt wearing a pant…HER THIGHS😩. The fact i saw it at the morning with already having a boner…i went to my bathroom stroked while thinking about her.

y/n~,y/n~ you making me so hot baby~ ah~….i love you baby…a-aah..daddy loves you…

i came and cleaned it with a tissue and quickly went to take a bath. I just cant believe i came with just a photo. I would never feel excited even while watching porn.

After showering i opened my phone to message y/n. Me: y/nie~good morning.

i saw her offline and left instagram too. Later jin hyung asked me to get ready to have a final practice for tomorrow.

y/n pov :

i went to lisa’s home in the morning with my bag packed . We decided to go after having punch from her home. Its a 3 hour drive from here. So we booked the hotel for a few nights. After having our lunch we started driving with some music and enjoying. Only until lisa did something

———————————————————————-

[jason-the-mommas-boy]

Wait, theres a ft13 movie supposedly in the works???

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[scamoosh]

talk about komaeda!!!

anon i am holding ur hand so tenderly and blowing u a little kiss....

going 2 ramble 🏃

i am thinking abt komaeda 24/7 but he has been on my mind sm recently i love that guy😔i am just going 2 ramble abt some of my thoughts and hcs 4 him bc i need 2 type too much abt fictional guys or ill die

-he is BIPOLAR!!!!! yes this is partially me projecting but he isssssss not only in the like . stereotypical mood swingy way that ppl like to point to but in the way that he has trouble gauging the severity of situations and reacting appropriately.,,, like not only reacting strongly but like. not being able to moderate his reaction even when he knows its unreasonable. and putting extremely high expectations on himself and others bc if everything isnt Very Good its Very Bad and feeling like even one failure to meet one expectation cancels out any good done by any other successes.,,,, idk. i feel like a lot of the ways i experience my own bipolar-ness can b pointed out in how komaeda thinks and acts and that is kind of comforting idk. bc his thought processes feel so obvious to me even tho i can recognize where theyre flawed and wrong idk. like one of the biggest things 4 me is feeling guilty bc u know a lot of the time when u get upset abt things u Know ur overreacting bc ur bipolar so when things Actually genuinely rightfully upset u its rlly hard to allow urself to feel upset without feeling guilty or worrying that its unwarranted and just a symptom . and like . thats komaeda too he feels so extremely but either feels excessively justified in it when hes riding the high or insisting that he never has any right to act according to his own feelings oughhgh. oh komaeda we're rlly in it now

-hes nonbinary :))) yes i am projecting again but i also must stay true to my theory that every danganronpa protag is trans and bi and every dr antagonist is nonbinary and gay <33 um. he feels a disconnect to (and occasionally a disgust for) his body. not 2 say that all trans ppl are unhappy w their bodies but idk komaeda has a very specific way of shifting between 'this is what i am and it is what it is' and like 'this is atrocious sorry 4 everyone who has 2 look at me' and that specific back n forth is smth that i personally can relate to? also i like when ppl draw him w lots of cute little accessories bc i think he would like little things like that w/out being concerned w the fact that ppl might associate them w femininity. plus w his whole complex abt junko and his obsession w her u know for sure he has an appreciation (even if for the wrong reasons) for femme culture <333 also i think he and mikan do each others nails sometimes :) and it takes like 4 hours bc theyre both nervous and clumsy as shit

-ok going back 2 the mental illness thing he also makes me rlly sad bc has moments of like . total self awareness and is like damn it sucks that i feel so unstable and act like that towards other people and deep down i wish i could change i want to be good i want to be loved but like . that doesnt change the fact that it happens again idk. his behaviors feel very cyclical which feels v real idk. farquad pointing meme MENTALLY ILL!

-ok wait typing that also made methink abt how in his final little hangout event convo he confesses that hes always wanted to be loved and that hurts my feelings so bad man. like that is the culmination of getting to know him is him confessing that he wants to mean something to someone else even tho he is 100% certain he doesnt deserve it and so should never Get it oughhhhhh. the overwhelming guilt that comes w being treated well is so real.

guys i love komaeda. this is so unorganized and dumb i just care him

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[wilhellmine]

Get to know me - Alphabet

DAY 13 - M

1) Malec

Ooooooh <3 Who wouldnt love Malec?? Even my husband ships them! Well... my husband is an old shipper, so its actually not a surprise that he ships someone :D BUT! Malec, oh God, these two are made for each other! Right now Im reading “Red Scrolls of magic”, where Magnus and Alec go to a vacation in Europe but they are still being bothered by demons, of course it happens everytime when I think they are gonna finally “Hanky Panky” :D (from the moment Zak said it on Screaming room its my fav word for sex XD)

2) Manthony

My two babies from Chase Atlantic <3 Im so in love with this ship!! Christian and Mitchel seem to be born for each other <3 They are great friends for a long time, but have you ever seen the way they touch each other? They even kiss! So its pretty clear for me :D I even made a vid for these two guys, you can watch it here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw1AhcvwjgE

3) Magpies

My fav birds! They are sooooo beautiful <3 I dont know why, but I love them! Luckily, our garden is full of them and they are coming really close, so I can watch them all day long <3

4) Melancholy

Im getting hit by melancholy often... Sometimes I just sit, think about the past times and I get sad... Sometimes Im sad and melancholic for no reason... But, thats just me, Im a person full of doubts, guilt and regrets... But, and thats interesting, Im not crying often. I used to cry a lot, when I was younger, now, for like about 5 or 6 years, I cried for like... 4... maybe 5 times. I always swallow the tears and bury them down inside me, because Im afraid that if I would start to cry, I would never be able to stop... So, I remember crying when my dad passed away, when he had his funeral, when I found out that Im pregnat, when my baby girl was born and... yep, thats all I think.

5) Magic

I dont think that Im a great witch, but... well... I dont know what to say :D I dont have the power to control elements and make people go crazy :D but Im able to do tarot readings that never were wrong (at least people always told me, I never met someone who would say that what I saw in the cards isnt true), Im doing healing rituals, but mostly I work with my own mind to change things, like for example, the weather. My husband gets upset everytime when its raining, telling me to stop it, hes always like “Oh my, its you again? Stop it, for fucks sake!” :D Or, when someone is ill or doesnt feel bad, Im trying to help him by taking the pain away (kinda like in teen wolf :D ). Im imagining things and just wait for them to happen...

6) Midnight Syndicate

One of my fav music!!! If you like horror, scary, mysterious music, Midnight Syndicate is the right choice for you!

7) Moon

Ooooh, the Moon, how I love it... Im able to spend the whole night just sitting by the window and watching it travel across the sky... <3

[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: 😢💔 Carly: treats not tricks Ali: Baby Ali: You can't say seeing Drew shit himself was anything but a 🍬 Carly: ha Carly: hide & seek? Carly: goldie's gonna b too sad to play unless ur sister steps up her comforting tho Ali: fun Ali: or manhunt Ali: and not a fate I'd wish on anyone, that Ali: he can be on our team, stop him pouting too hard Carly: let him hunt u & he couldn't be happier Carly: even if i offered to take off clothes each time i got found Carly: but you want his boy bestie to find you yea Ali: so telling Ali: Lene would have a field-day Ali: ain't no one's prey, baby Carly: nah hes urs Carly: sweet enough to eat Ali: nah Ali: no one's sweeter than you 🍓🍯 Carly: aw Carly: 🐅💙 Ali: I mean it Ali: you be captain, you pick Carly: cos u havent tasted him yet Carly: u pick & then tell me whos sweetest after Ali: do you want me to or don't you Carly: u wanna Carly: he does Ali: I'm asking what you want, though Carly: i want you to have fun Ali: I am Ali: with you Ali: you don't need to worry Carly: its k & so am i Ali: promise? Carly: ur cute & u dont need to worry Carly: hes just a lad Ali: I know he is Ali: like I knew he'd be a good fit for this trip, that's all Carly: idc if u wanna fuck him on this trip or when we get back is what i mean Carly: u can like him if you don't like him as much as me Ali: I don't like anyone as much as I like you, Carls Carly: is that a truth or a dare? Ali: it's the truth Ali: I don't need to be dared into nothing Ali: I want you Carly: u wanna make me cry i reckon Carly: being 👼 Ali: not even Ali: like you said, if either of us wanted to go there with anyone else, it's a bridge we'd cross as and when Ali: I'm not gonna do anything behind your back, trust me Carly: u don't have to Carly: u can do anything u want Carly: not ur ex Carly: cute as she is its v intense Carly: im letting ur wings stay open Ali: you don't have to be the anti-her, you know Ali: just be you Ali: I care about you, what you want and what you think, just tell me that always Carly: ha what would the anti her b? Carly: ur sister mayb Carly: or drews Ali: either way Ali: not what I'm after Ali: 😬 Carly: idk drews sister is cute Carly: & hed b so mad about it Ali: world's most confusing boner, you mean Carly: 😂 Ali: not looking to blow either of their minds Ali: again, in his case, of course Carly: he's the cutest when he don't know what's happening Carly: like a baby 🐕 Ali: if I was being a bitch I'd say that was always Ali: but I've already wounded his ego too much today Ali: bless him Carly: ha Carly: never heard a boy scream w out being touched Carly: learning things this trip Ali: 😂 Ali: stick with me, babe Carly: 🏫 Ali: not 'til Monday Ali: 👎 Carly: im not gonna go Carly: say it was 👽 Carly: snatched for being this sexy soz Ali: good thinkin' Ali: if they're too squeamish to ask about sickness and diarrhoea, they ain't gonna deepdive into probing, like Carly: or 👻have taken over my body Carly: brb after the exorcism 😈 Ali: shame we ain't kicking it catholic Ali: they'd do it for the fun of, beats a normal day of Carly: @ my gma Carly: shes 😢💔 i dont want jesus inside me Carly: he's too nice like Carly: not my type Ali: could always go for Judas Ali: #hotfriend Carly: o true Ali: plus Iscariot is an amazing last name so Carly: baby we gotta get divorced rn Ali: 💔 Carly: dont b sad Carly: ill b back w a great name u can take Ali: hold you to that, girl 💍⛓ Carly: u can Carly: i love u more than any biblical figures Ali: even Mary Magdalene? 😍😍😍 Carly: dont tell her Ali: keep it between you and me Carly: 💙👼 Ali: you're so cute Carly: you're cuter Ali: nope Ali: I 👑 you the cutest Carly: aw Carly: if it goes to a vote youll win tho Ali: nah Carly: yea Carly: ur sister & ex dont like me Carly: the boys like u more Ali: they ain't got the good taste I do Carly: thats putting yourself down! Carly: they all love u Ali: but I love you Carly: i love u Ali: let's go be alone Carly: yea Carly: shoo the 👻s away for us baby Ali: 🔫🔫🔫 Carly: my hero Ali: you know it Ali: not to be my ex about it either Carly: she did rescue me too first night ever Carly: & shes not that bad Ali: 😒 why don't you marry her Ali: 😉 Carly: too straight Ali: 😂 Ali: we'll show her how straight you are Carly: she invited now? k then Ali: maybe not SEE then Ali: hear Carly: if she hears they all will Carly: sure u want that? Ali: let's deliberate Carly: what does that mean? Ali: that we're gonna start and then I'll see how I'm feeling Carly: o Carly: thats a dare isnt it Ali: if you're up to it, baby Carly: u kno i am Carly: & i can make u be louder than me Carly: if u wanna double dare it Ali: you know I do Carly: yea Carly: i can 👀 Carly: ur eyes r really blue & ur cute face is really pink Ali: it's the 🔥 Carly: nah its me Carly: hotter Ali: not gonna disagree Carly: not what i want u to say Ali: go on then, you 👀 Ali: what do you wanna 👂 Carly: more fun to make it happen Carly: if i tell u course youll say it to be sweet to me Ali: okay, let's play then Carly: where? Ali: don't think we'll be able to stop Marlene coming through if we desecrate her car so Carly: so cute Carly: take our chances w the dead then Ali: you aren't scared anymore, are you? Carly: ive got u to protect me y would i b Ali: and I swear, all treats Ali: or you know, the fun kind of tricks only Carly: ive missed u so much Carly: ur here i kno but scooby gang r too Carly: & yea drews the 🐕 Ali: 😂 omg too real 'cos Caleb is clearly Shaggy Ali: you can be Daphne, babe, I'll allow it Ali: but we can be alone all day Monday, yeah, I promise Carly: which 1 is the hot nerd cuz if its ur sister thats awks boo Carly: soz she loves me if she's the scarf wearing fashionista still tho Carly: ur ex coulda got away w it if it weren't for us pesky kids 😠 Ali: we'll let Meena and her duke it out who wants to be who Ali: I'll have to be Scrappy and I'm not even mad tbh Carly: aw ur that cute Ali: 🥊 Carly: thats y id go anywhere w you even ur exs car Carly: so safe w my baby Ali: always boo Ali: I've got you Carly: hold my hand not cuz im scared Carly: dont let go til u have to Ali: that's a challenge isn't it Carly: if it feels like 1 ill have to b that bitch & throw ur 💍 @ u Ali: 😂 Ali: you know how holdable you are Carly: dont leave me yet k Carly: its so loud in my 🧠 & 💙 how much i dont want u too Ali: I'm not leaving you ever Carly: im not saying u gotta promise me so hard Ali: but I am Ali: 'cos I'm not Ali: I love you now, no matter what Ali: I'm gonna be here for you Carly: i kno u mean it Carly: ur 👼 energy is always around me now Carly: but he's a nice lad who likes u thats not coming around much so don't forget Ali: I'll try not to take that personally, babe 😜 Ali: but I know what you mean Carly: do u cuz being w u is like its still summer @ a party where pretty girls keep telling u ur pretty & the lads who r rides wanna get u drinks & u kno every song thats playing Carly: like being high but w out chasing it or any of the shit u have to do to get 💊 Carly: & it lasts the comedown dont get u Carly: idk its hard to explain cept ive never met anyone like u cuz there isnt Carly: but theres girls & lads same as me everywhere Ali: baby Ali: that isn't true and you've given the proof right there Ali: you've got a poet's soul Ali: you're so special and you don't even know it Ali: that makes you more Carly: ur really magic Carly: im sorry Carly: dont b mad at me Carly: or sad Ali: I'm not Ali: why would I be Ali: like ever Ali: but especially right now Carly: idk Carly: i wasn't ur go to girl for pranking every1 Ali: not because you did something wrong Ali: not because of anything Ali: if I thought about it at all I was just trying to involve everyone, you know Ali: make sure everyone's having a good time Carly: jk 👼 baby i kno ur intentions r pure 💙 Carly: y ur 👑 leader Ali: okay you got me back then Ali: 💚 Carly: ha im full of tricks & treats Ali: 😏 come show me Carly: k

[bakuqou]

Bkdk tododeku bktodo kirideku krbk kiritodo

this is a lot :o

heres tododeku, and bktodo

when i started shipping: 

bkdk - since s1, especially after their fight at ground beta! definitely after kacchan v deku 2! 

kirideku - hmm this isnt one i shipped while watching/reading bnha, but found out about the rarepair online maybe a couple months ago?

krbk - i thought they were cute as a brotp in s1, but i saw people online shipping them alot (before i read the manga). i liked em, and really liked their friendship in s2! the kiribaku in my heart LAUNCHED after i read the rescue arc though!

kiritodo - idk much about em? i normally ship them in poly ships like kiribakutodo! i wont include them in the rest bc i actually am not too sure about them

my thoughts:

bkdk - controversial ship but i like them! they have so many complicated feelings about each other in canon and theyre true rivals. they mirror + parallel each other pretty well, and grow with each other!

kirideku - theyre cute! i dont actually remember many of their interactions but i theyre both SUNSHINES who deserve the world and more!!

krbk - UGH WE LOVE CANON KINGS! hori puts so many implications about them.. im shaking. their relationship is the most amazing thing in the entire show 

ill put the rest under a read more since its so long

what makes me happy:  

bkdk - their healing relationship! they started really horribly, but as they grow older, they mature and learn to accept each other!

kirideku - all their cute interactions and fanon! theyre uber fluffy and sweet

krbk - a long list.. them saving each other so many times… kiri literally saved bakugou’s LIFE twice (rescue arc, bnha movie) and he didnt hesitate to do so! BAKUGOUS WORDS being what motivates kirishima, and helps him survive and win a mission? BAKUGOU REASSURING KIRI THAT HES A GOOD HERO? them fighting together in the USJ attack? just all their interactions aare so good??? the way they unconditionally and so obviously love + care about each other!

what makes me sad:

bkdk - how controversial the ship is.. i agree they make not have the healthiest relationship since they have so many complicated feelings, but their relationship is mending and maturing!

krdk and krbk - n/a

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

bkdk - anything with toxicity or unhealthy relationships.. bakugou being too mean or arrogant, deku being a doormat

kirideku - i dont read kirideku owo

krbk - their characterization is generally really good but when they treat bakugou as horrible mean character that kirishima has to “fix” 😷

things i look for in a fanfic:

bkdk - future fics! them being top heroes together, after they mature and get over their feelings. hurt/comfort is huge with them, and anything to do with them and how they know each other so well since childhood.

kirideku - n/a

krbk - honestly i read basically all kiribaku!! i love canon compliant ones, and hurt/comfort + trauma after the rescue arc! them building each other up, being an unexpected but totally obvious ship to the rest of 1A!

who i’d be comfortable then ending up with, if not each other: kiribaku is my otp of all otps, but here are my other ship for em all

deku - tododeku, dekuiida, izuocha, shindeku, alot of people tbh

kirishima - kirikami, kirisero, kirimina, kiritetsu

bakugou - todobaku, bakukami, bakusero, bakumina, bakucamie, and like every bakugou ship

my happily ever after for them:

bkdk - being the #1 pro heroes together, power couple of the century

kirideku - uh no idea?? i see them being really popular with kids! theyd be good teachers at UA together

krbk - heroes together, they open a hero agency together, they adopt kids and are super domestic. they never lose their spark and theyre always the ultimate partnership.

big spoon / little spoon:

bkdk - little spoon deku big spoon baku

kirideku - little spoon deku big spoon kiri

krbk - switch! but mainly little spoon baku n big spoon kiri

favourite non-sexual activity:

bkdk - theyve known each other so long, they love slow casual domestic stuff. cute things they missed in their childhood + while being teens because they were too busy having a rivalry and stuff

kirideku - no idea

krbk - ughhhhh they love doing everything together :( but they like hiking together and studying together (kiri doesnt like studying though, he just likes spending time with bakugou)

[honeyzhong]

Soft Bias Tag 🌻

i was tagged by the amazingly awesome @babybunhyuck  

for the soft bias tag

1. Who is your bias?

yall know the ultimate crackhead, wong yukhei

2. How long have you biased them?

uhhhhhhhh,, good question,, i think since march? maybe february? i dont know he just swooped in and stole the bias spot from mark,, oops🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

3. What’s their zodiac sign? 

he a whole aquarius,, and year of the tiger which isnt compatible with my snake ass

4. What’s your favorite thing about them?

definitely his laughter and his gratitude,, he just makes everything so warm with his joyful laugh and he always takes little things with a big heart and it just makes my heart-

5. Emojis you associate them with?

😚💫🤓🤙💪👅🙏💛💞

6. Colors that remind you of them?

green and red;; contrasting colors but i feel they just describe him vv well

7. One gift that you wanna give them?

anything he wants! but in all honesty probably a homemade bracelet,, like it sounds super dumb but he seems like someone who loses his sht over homemade things and seeing him wear something i made would literally kill me but atleast i could die happy

8. What songs would you listen to with them? 

nothing,, i have the worst music taste,, im legit stuck in 2012-15 so,, but i would love to just listen to dance songs with him and have a cute little dance party or listen to some songs that he recommends because he likes listening to v different music from me

9. Movies you would watch with them?

ugh,, yall already know im a whole marvel fanatic but also hella gay for some sad romatic films so i’ll be good with either of those,, seeing his excited face while watching avengers or seeing him deny obvious tears in his eyes at the end of a sad movie??? yes pls

10. What flowers remind you of them?

cliché af but roses bc they are like the only flower i know but not just red roses,, roses have such diverse meanings and i get that feeling when i think of yuk,, he is lour at times, serious at others, dorky, greasy,, you name it,, he is just a sexy/cute rose

11. What made you fall for them?

i actually don’t know,, i think it was when 99 liner were chefs,, i was still mark biased but seeing him smile and laugh just my heart flutter,, it was probably his cute personality,,, ugh ✊😔💞 plus he has the visuals of a god so when u put those two forces together there is no winning for a hoe like me

12. What dream date would you go on?

mhmmm,,, i would like a stay at home date,, like to just give that dude a break,, we order in some pizza bc i cant cook watch a movie or just chat and have a little party of our own,,spending quality time with him just what i would want to do shhdgdhdjskk the gay is slipping out jfshfj

13. Who would be more clingy?

oh yeah,, definitely yukhei,, im the annoying one hes the clingy one,, he just seems like the type to always wanna cuddle and hold hands and i am NOT complaining

14. One thing you want them to know?

wow. 1) im proud of him,, i am proud that he made his dreams come true and he deserves to have pride in his stagename 2) its okay to take breaks,, to be nervous,, to stutter, to be tired, to be loud,, he's a human and deserves to be treated as such 3) me and thousands of others love him more than words possible bc of his personality not his looks 4) he has the cutest smile and laugh ughhh just perfection 5) im waiting for him to come cuff my lonely ass ✊😔

15. Who falls asleep first on facetime?

hmmmmmm,,, i believe we would often fall asleep on each other bc i know my babe has to be tired alot so i wouldn't mind if he fell asleep but my ass also gets hella sleepy otp and ill be damned if i hang up first so maybe a little war between us??? who knows im an andriod user

16. Places you’d like to go with them?

Thailand or Hong Kong! he has very sweet stories abt there and i would just love to see him smile and show me all the places that he loved and some cute memories behind it,, just imagining it makes me so happy,, i would show him around my place but u know Florida aint got sht

wow this took me forever and now im soft™

im gonna tag: @capablee-mark @lucasthiccthighs @cocojisung @gilded-angel @etherealparkjisung @marketlee @pork-jisungie 💞💕💓

💫 even if i didnt tag u and you wanna do it? go ahead boo ✊ and if i did tag you and u dont wanna ?? dont,, just do you u babes sorry im tired dhhscjskfk 💫

[haeroniel-doliet]

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 

[jiminnieblues-blog]

get to know me tag(s)

yoo so recently i’d been tagged to do three get to know me tags, and i dont want to make three separate posts for each so im gonna combine all of them in this one post which is under a cut bc……….its really long LOL anyways i was tagged by @lovhobe, @elementaljimin, and @protectkimtaehyung thank you so much guys!!!!!!!!!!! <333 im glad i got to know yall better asdfgh

im tagging @jiminslipgloss​, @jxxminmols​, @kismet-soo​, @baeklipse​, @sonyeondn​, @neckatie​, @kihyunswife​ and @bulletproofbookworm​ you guys are welcome to do however many of these you want lol i just didnt wanna tag people separately for each tag

i was tagged by @lovhobe​ to do the 20 questions one tysm!!  instructions: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better. (lol yall already know i aint tagging 20 people)

name - zara

nickname - um a few of my friends like to call me zar-zar and i get called zaro by my family a lot

zodiac sign - cancer

height - 5′ 3″

orientation - straight

ethnicity - pakistani

favorite fruit - pineapple i think

favorite season - fall

favorite book series - idk um i’ll be that person and say harry potter lol i cant rlly think of a good series rn but my fave book is the kite runner 

favorite flower - i dont rlly know a lot of flowers but i like roses and the vibrant colors that orchids can have

favorite scent - fresh laundry

favorite color - purple

favorite animal - zebras?

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa - hot cocoa

average hours of sleep - five

cat or dog person - i like both but i think i like cats a little more

favorite fictional character(s) - this is hard bc i used to be in a lot of fandoms asdfghjkl draco, red & gold, percy, bakugou, link and i have more from all the drama i watch but the list will be to long lmao !!!

number of blankets you sleep with - three

dream trip - idrk?? somewhere out of the country i guess i dont leave the us unless im going to pakistan lol

blog created - i had to check my archive lmao but i made this blog in oct of 2015

number of followers - :^)

NEXT i was tagged by @eternaljimin​ for the get to know me tag tysm !! there werent any instructions just.........answer the questions lol.

a - age - fourteen lmao.........................

b - biggest fear - tight spaces

c - current time - 10:35 pm

d - drink you had last - water

e - everyday starts with - getting out of bed??

f - favorite song - im saying this just bc it just came out but RUMOR BY KARD IS A BOP WATCH IT AND SUPPORT THESE LEGENDS  

g - ghosts are real? - idk my dude

h - hometown/country - us

i - in love with - jimin?

j - jealous of - i was just watching sbs kpop star and there are these two kids who are eleven yrs old and are so talented i wish i was talented you feel 

k - killed someone - why would someone even ask this akshf ofc not

l - last time you cried - i think i cried today lmfao

m - music you last listened to - RUMOR BY KARD

n - newest thing you bought for yourself - i think the last thing i spent my money on was cheez its from the vending machine @ school ajksf

o - one wish - i wish my life went smoothly and that i wasnt mentally ill?? lmao

p - person you last messaged - @jiminslipgloss​ :)

q - questions you get asked often - since i wear the hijab i get a lot of questions abt that i also get questions on my rbf like ‘why do you look so depressed all the time’ asfkjkj

r - recommended (movie? series? book?) - i just remembered that i read this book called this blinding absence of light and it was rlly good a little explicit but it was a damn good book i rlly wanna re read it 

s - song you last sang - i dont rmbr but it was probs a track from hamilton lol

t - thanks, last person you said thanks to - the waiter that gave me food @ a restaurant i went today 

u - underwear youre wearing - not sure what this is asking but im wearing a purple one rn???

v - vacation, your dream vacation - i dont rlly have one lol

w - worst habit - idk if this counts but i lose my temper a lot? is that a habit? if not i tend to space out/get distracted a lot esp in class

x - x rays youve had - my teeth, my ankle, a few of my fingers

y - your favorite food - rice !

z - zodiac sign - cancer

for the third one i was tagged by @protectkimtaehyung​ for the seventy questions tag tysm!!!!!!

do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah

who did you last say i love you to? um listen im rlly not tryna be edgy but i seriously dont rmbr the last time i said ily irl

do you regret anything? i regret a lot of things lol

are you insecure? unfortunately

whats your relationship status? single

how do you want to die? asdfghjkl um a painless death i think

what did you last eat? rice

played any sports? i used to play tennis and swim but now i do kung fu

do you bite your nails? no

when was your last physical fight? i kind of have......to fight in kung fu so like when i last had class lol

do you like someone? no

have you ever stayed up forty-eight hours? yeah

do you hate anyone atm? i tend to hate a lot of ppl lmao?

do you miss someone? uhm i dont think so

have any pets? no :// i used to have parakeets but i gave them away and i just recently found out that they passed away :(((

how exactly are you feeling right now? i was kinda happy but since its sunday night im starting to feel shitty bc i dont want to go back to school tmrw afjh and im rlly tired

ever made out in the bathroom? no

are you scared of spiders? yeah lol

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? this is an interesting question bc it depends like if i were given just one chance then mayyyybe id go back and change smth i did that was stupid but if were given the chance to go whenever i want then probably not bc thats way too much pressure/commitment to have a power like that sdhfa 

where was the last place you snogged someone? i havent snogged anyone lmfao

what are your plans for this weekend? sleep

do you want to have kids? how many? i dont want to have kids bc childbirth doesnt seem appealing to me but idk i might change my mind when im older/more mature

do you have piercing? how many? one on both ears

what is/are/were your best subjects? the only classes i have solid as in are art, lit, and w4p lol math and science are def not my thing

do you miss anyone for your past? from my past, yes

what are you craving right now? sleep

have you ever broken someones heart? in first grade some kid liked me and i embarrassed him in front of his friends to get him to stop liking me so yeah i was wildin in first grade

have you ever been cheated on? no

have you ever made a significant other cry? no

whats irritating you right now? my tiredness? 

does somebody love you? oh geez i hope lmao

what is your favorite color? purple

do you have trust issues? yeah

who/what was your last dream about? um i dont think i remember v clearly

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom

do you give second chances out easily? i dont think ive been in a situation where ive had to but i probably wouldnt 

is it easier to forgive or forget? wow um can i say neither lol

is this year the best year of your life? definitely not

how old were you when you had your first kiss? havent had one

have you ever walked out naked? no

favorite food? rice

do you believe everything happens for a reason? hmmm probably idk man i dont think too hard lol

what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scrolling through this hell website

is cheating ever okay? no

are you mean? i probably dont come off as mean online but im not gonna lie i def get mean irl

how many people have you fist fought? i dont think ive been in a situation where i had to punch someone?

do you believe in true love? ive never experienced romantic love so i wouldnt be able to say but probably aajkf ive read/watched too much and analyzed too many relationships for me to say love is real but...........love isnt real yall

favorite weather? when the sun is covered by clouds and its a little chilly

do you like the snow? ive only encountered snow like twice so idk but i feel like i wouldnt like it very much lol

do you want to get married? idk man

is it cute when someone calls you baby? pet names arent rlly my thing lol 

what makes you happy? sleep...........im rlly tired rn 

would you change your name? no

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? this is an interestingly phrased question lol. well i dont rmbr the last person i kissed so idk

your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wow that would be rlly sad LMAO but id turn him down and tell him to get better standards wtf

do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? well they wouldnt be considered my friend if i couldnt act like myself around them so yes

who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? i just texted my friend so we can play video games aslfkh 

whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? literally the same dude from the last question lol

do you believe in soulmates? um no i dont think so?

id there anyone you would die for? my family/friends

thanks everyone again for tagging me !! <33

[getallemeralds]

do uh, nonfatal explosion, or sprigs

OH MAN…. OKAY…. for reference:

nonfatal explosion = Yuta Asahina from Danganronpa: Another Episode / Ultra Despair Girls, au where i survived the bracelet but down an arm and probably other injuries but the arm is the most notable bECAUSE ITS AN ENTIRE ARM

sprigs = Patrick Sprigs aka Gemini Spark White from Megaman Starforce, mostly canon-compliant but a lot of my memories are from years after the game– i left the echo ridge area to get therapy after the sheer fuckery that was SF1 and me attempting to destroy the world and returned around the time of SF3. i ALSO REALLY HATE ARTHUR “ACE” EOS OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS I JUST REALLY DONT LIKE HIM :V

1. what was your kin/id’s favourite food?

yuta: anything sweet? or like Anything honestly just. someone stop this gremlin boy

sprigs: i have a specific memory involving neapolitan ice cream sandwich bars that was actually very positive so, that i guess :V

2. name something your kin/id studied!

yuta: i actually dont remember a lot of being pre-despair and i yelled DUMPSTER BOY DOES NOTHING internally so. RIP,

sprigs: psychology! as a hobby, kind of. lots of figuring out what was going on in their mess of a life.

3. a favourite canon area?

yuta: i visited hope’s peak once and it was awesome, everyone was Super Cool and sonia nevermind gave me a spheal named Balbatross

sprigs: i mean obv theres the dream island park, but i also liked wandering around … OH WOW DID I REALLY FORGET THE NAME? [googles] AMAKEN!!! i liked visiting AMAKEN with geo cause he was a Space Nerd and i was also a lowkey space nerd (not as much as i am now lmfao)

4. element associated with your kin/id?

yuta: water? KIND OF IRONIC BUT (my near-death experience / canon death involves trying to swim out of the city of Fuck and exploding bc of the bracelet)

sprigs: lightning! electricity in general tbh. pzap.

5. who have you met from your canon?

yuta: i knew a Whole Lot Of People but they were. really toxic. fml. BUT I KNOW KORA! AND RU!! IN YOUR SYSTEM!!! KORA SCARED ME ONE TIME IN A 7/11

sprigs: IVE ONLY MET ONE OTHER SFKIN i havent talked to them in ages despite being in a discord server with them? theyre like the sweetest geo ever (and i hope i didnt creep them out by my constant whining when i had a sideblog for this ID lmao)

6. things in every day life that remind you of your canon?

yuta: hmmmm not a lot? like specific songs do i guess :0 and sometimes im like I WANT 2 JOG but i dont have the stamina but if im in a strong yuta shift ill be vibrating 24/7 bc i was so physically active in that life

sprigs: ngl sometimes system stuff does? cause. i was a system. a very shitty system but. :V sometimes bickering w/ mae or ink reminds me of talking to rey and i go “aw” for a bit.

7. favourite scents from your canon?

what i tried to say: i dont associate via scent very well

what i almost said: I DONT HAVE A NOSE

8. what weather did your kin/id like the most?

yuta: SUN,,,, lies facedown on the ground and just. photosynthesizes. (towa city was always clouded over and Sinister, i hated it, legit all my memories of towa are just “dark and sad”)

sprigs: mild rainshowers were nice :>

9. what talents/ skills did you have as your kin/id?

yuta: I WANT YUTA TO RUN!!! i think i decided that if i went to hope’s peak i would’ve been SHSL Track Star or something like that. i could also swim which is something i cant do at front :V (edit from after question 12: ALSO CAN WE APPRECIATE THE SELF-GIVEN TITLE OF “SHSL NONFATAL EXPLOSION”)

sprigs: i think i did some sort of fabric crafts thing? not like, knitting, uhhh. SEWING thats the word. i also gardened. shoves my entire arms into the dirt. this is my home

10. do you like how the fandom portrays your kin/id?

yuta: does the fandom even acknowledge me? i think fandom thinks im a Dumb Idiot and honestly, true though,

sprigs: GOD DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED, NO,

11. what would you have done differently in your canon?

yuta: i mean, not exploding would’ve been nice? asides from that, i wish i’d stayed with komaru more. she had no idea i was alive for a pretty long time and that must’ve sucked. heck.

sprigs: I MEAN , NOT TRY TO DESTROY THE WORLD , also fucking, tell geo what the hell was wrong with me , but it was kind of a hard position to be in? bc rey was literally a trauma split from horrific childhood abuse (moreso than was revealed canonically, for me) and i was just a middleschooler. also staying in contact with geo while overseas (the bonus boss in sf2 isnt canon for me) because from his perspective i just dropped off the map bc i was too ashamed to talk to him. ALSO HEY @ SELF DONT FUCKING DESTROY GEO’S TRUST IN EVERYONE, MAYBE,

12. what outfit did you like best in your canon?

yuta: i love my hoodie!! but it got Fucking Wrecked for obvious reasons augh. theres art of Nonfatal Explosion Yuta w/ a NGE shirt that i vaguely remember owning haha

sprigs: my canon outfit |D i was very upset when i outgrew it so i kept trying to find clothes similar to it

13. in a modern setting, what would you as your kin/id wear?

yuta: was near-modern so p much same

sprigs: fashion sense in 22XX makes no sense but like. big ol sweaters. armwarmers. comfy

14. did you have a favourite memory of your canon?

yuta: visiting hope’s peak is the most vivid bc i got to meet all my friends? heck? and i vaguely remember reuniting with komaru and it was great. there were hugs.

sprigs: pretty much any time i was Actually Talking To Geo In A Healthy Way lmfao what the fuck was Up with me

15. name a favourite person in your canon!

yuta: komaru!! she was my bff actually. and my sister, aoi

sprigs: IF YOU CANT GUESS “GEO STELAR” BY NOW THEN IM NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH

16. did you like life in your canon?

yuta: pre-apocalypse? yeah :0 post-apocalypse? NOT REALLY,,, but i did at least feel like i was Doing Something? fighting despair!! but like it was 100% awful, actually, but at the time i was trying to Not Think About It bc otherwise id like. fall down and not get back up. oops.

sprigs: noT REALLY,,, like even looking back on it i kep being like. i was such a wreck. literally everything possible went wrong in patrick sprigs’s life. even Good Periods had bad shit happen, like i got outed to everybody by ace? which is like half of why i hate him? it was immensely awful augh

[survivornavarino]

Episode #5: WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM -Rebecka

Back from exile so here's the happenings ~Immediately cried to Beckka about Tim leaving and being slaughtered in my arms. ~Messaged Trixie, well she messaged me about what happened our other tribal. ~Messaged all the favs cuz idc if Im at the bottom, im obviously bottom of fans or favs so WHATEVER. ~Talked a lot to Julia cuz we have a lot in common (Witchcraft, being 16 y/o babies, getting lit) ~Told all the favs I have no one in this game which is true. FAVS IF YOU LISTENING TAKE ME IN. PLEASE AND THANKS. ~Messaged Vi cuz at least she was with me.

Honestly what were they thinking with voting out Tee? I guess that's a challenge threat out of the way, so I won't complain.

https://youtu.be/HepZnpuimhM ________________________________________________________________ https://youtu.be/IJWWj23olkA

HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE LANA DEL REY SO MUCH NICE TRY AMIRADOR GET READY PUT ON UR ACRYLIC NAILS AND WINGED EYELINER WE LANA DEL REY TONIGHT FAM 

So the bad news is I found out Drew has been hardcore dropping my name since the game started and I thought we were cool but it's fine snakes will be snakes. I think he's a little shook about my at bat (me having won 1/3 games I've played) cause he's hinted at how crazy that is. And that would explain why he's pulling out fake receipts and conspiracies to get me out. Whew game recognize game https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/ryans-reality-network/images/6/61/Awright_alyssa_edwards.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150724035546 The good news is Eddie is a real one, we really are Joe and Desi from HvHvH, and he spilled all the tea. And honestly we have a similar playing style so we're really about to go the distance, especially if I never get reunited with Julia or Rebecka. SO we need to slay this lip sync so we both live but on the off chance we lose, things are gonna kick into high gear. I've only seen one season of Survivor (HvHvH) but Tyler convinced me to watch Kaoh Rong and let me just say that has shed some light on things. Voting Jacob? Will always be there. Sending another fan out? No problem. Voting long-term? Now that's not a bad idea. So when I said, "What if we got Drew out?" Eddie was all ears. Obviously this is super early and under wraps BUT between the two of us we can make it happen. The key is Tyler and Jake so if we can get them we have a guaranteed majority. It all comes down to timing and the pitch. This is our best chance to clock Drew and whoever fails the vetting process will be left out. If Eddie says that whenever someone takes a shot at Drew they can't afford to miss and that has to be a blindside, then this plan has to be airtight. I wonder who could pull something like that off https://media.giphy.com/media/QmeB1Hr5fz7a0/giphy.gif

I volunteered to do the music video since I was a film major and have professional editing software. It puts a good deal of pressure on me because if we lose it looks like I really dropped the ball. However, I’m hoping that my attempts to organize us and edit the entire thing will earn me some respect and points from my tribe. It’s a bit frustrating getting ideas out of everyone. Nobody seems to want to volunteer thoughts or contribute to the brainstorming and we don’t have much time at all to get this done.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CdgOebQNYEE ________________________________________________________________ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdsZyoPZe5Q

First challenge on a new tribe and we lost. WHOOP DE DOO. Im going to try and find an in with the favs and hopefully stick with them. Saying how I have no allegience in this game. Also I keep forgetting that I can idol hunt so Im just casually at level 4 still I think. Ill probably look in the morning. But what were we thinking with Great Balls of Fire. That song is iconic and now that Tyler won he has chances of getting an in with people, but I want him gone Obviously no can do since I am not on his tribe anymore. Might as well dwindle down his numbers from this side then.

So we lost the lip sync. I had to apply lipstick for the first time so that was fun. Sadly one of us has to go home and my guess is it's either Heather, Trixie or Vi unless me or another favorite is getting targeted secretly. I need Heather and Trixie in the game if i'm being honest, mainly due to Trixie having rumors spread about her on the OG Admirador tribe and I wanna see if I can mess around with that. Then Heather was saying that people on the OG Admirador tribe were being fake to her, and she also told me Tyler got paranoid due to Heather not responding to Tyler's messages. So I hope Tyler makes it past merge, because I can work with paranoia. For those who don't know I'm trying a villainy thing and it's probably gonna fail miserably and I'm gonna look like a dumb fuck but I was the hero on my season and I wanted to try villainy out. I'm not good at long confessionals I apologize I feel like i'm the kid in the class presentation who speaks in a monotone voice and makes everyone fall asleep.

Me to the other tribe if/when i reach merge and we get to talk: https://desmadrechic.tumblr.com/post/171063789210/oh-god Ignore the caption that came with the video ajsjsjdkjd

So the other tribe voted out Tee and I'm a n g e r y The challenge was a music video. Still a n g e r y We won. Still a n g e r y!

So like this is bad for the fans, I feel like the faves will just band together and take the easy vote route, I need to socialise today. I need to just make strong social bonds and make sure people want to keep me around. I wanna act dumb and want them to think I am a free number for them. I like Drew and feel like he will be loyal to me, I am no 100% sure what Mitch and Autumn will do but I feel like they will keep me over Jake and Tyler if we end up going to tribal.

Well look at that I got added to a new alliance chat...! Autumn added me, Tyler, and Eddie to an alliance and we named it "Keyboard Smashers" and um I like everyone in it but I also like Drew...so I'm gonna protec him! If we lose and we're still on the same tribe I think I'd want to vote out Mitch since he hasn't made any efforts to talk to me individually. It's a shame bc I think we'd have a lot in common, but oh well! Tbh I have a feeling that we're gonna swap into 3 tribes of 5 next round...my psyche is telling me this...and I'm always right! But I hope I'm wrong because I feel like I'm in a really good position on this tribe and I'm scared to swap on a tribe with people from the other tribe because I think Heather and Vi wouldn't work with me, neither would the faves on the other side. Anyways...I'm a bad bitch.

We just did THAT and I'm happy for it. I've not gotten the chance to be as much if a social butterfly as I would like because my work situation is still adjusting, so if I can keep staying safe until merge that would be highly appreciated. HeatherAs of right now he vote is Vi. I dont agree with it since she is the only one who has been truthful to me in this game so far. But I dont see any way of saving her right now. My only choice I feel in this game is to team up with the favs and get out the fans, which I don't mind as long as that fan isn't me. Plus the fans (minus my loves Vi and Tim) all left me out of the vote. If they think I am going to crawl right back to them come another swap or merge, they have something coming. HOPEFULLY THIS VOTE ISNT ME OR ILL CRY.

So I'm just like really sad because I love vi and I never wanted to vote her out of this game but I have to and that's really sad.  I don't really have much else to say I just feel super guilty.

du du du..... another fan bites the dust and another fan gone, another fan gone another fan bites the dust

Why is it that each tribal gets messier than the last? Well maybe I should back up. We lost... again. Wow what curse have we brought to this tribe. I call bs since we were nice enough to give an upbeat song. The judges are bias smh. Anyways literally no one talked. What vote who? I dunno. It’s super silent which brings bad news. Probably gonna have to expect to be voted out tonight. Oh well. Hopefully heather doesn’t get voted out but I feel like it’ll be another fan that’s gone. The favs know each other and so they’re banding together I believe. Such sadness. I’ll just have to wait until tribal to know tho

Oh, right, this is a thing I need to do. Anyway, same boring shit as always, I'd put "Drew won an immunity challenge" as my mood message but it could be about anything, really. I think there are only like two tribal challenges I've ever lost in Athena. Bonus points because it was the music video challenge so you know my ass floated by and gave it all of ten minutes of thought, but we had a damn savant on the tribe! I love it when tribe swaps work out well for me. People were expressing all this sadness for Trixie and Vi going to their fifth tribal in a row and I'm just sitting here like listen, any goddamn time someone wants to take my seat at tribal and give me the night off, they're welcome to it. Denise Stapley is a cute look on some people, I guess. I'm just fine over here with my Cirie Fields kickback realness, I don't need tribal council, y'all can wait until FTC to give me a torch as far as I'm concerned.

What's the haps? Stress, angina, and crippling anxiety. Anyway. We won immunity which I'm real happy about because I can nOT go to tribal council. I absolutely refuse to lose and I'm really hoping I just make it to merge without attending a tribal council. For some reason I feel like I will I will either go to like the tribal before merge and leave at the first tribal I attend or I will make it to merge without losing and I will be merge boot. I really am happy because I feel like if we went to tribal council Drew would have targeted Autumn which is something I am SOOOO against. I literally sold my soul to that girl and that's who I'm riding with for the rest of the game. So because I love ha so much I kind spilled the beans to her about Drew targeting her. I feel like really bad about it though cause I do consider Drew a close friend but for some reason I'm really having a hard time trusting him. I just feel like he's only with me until he doesn't need me anymore and then he'll totally see me for the threat that I am and take me out. I feel so bad about it but I just feel like it's what I needed to do to show Autumn that I trust her and have her back. Because of that I think Autumn would've gone after Drew and I feel like I would've had to pick a side and I really just can't vote Drew out yet njvjsdfkdnsjk. I would literally feel terrible about it cause I usually don't turn on my close allies pre-merge but if he goes after Autumn then I have no other choice. As I'm typing this I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't just tell Drew that I didn't want to vote Autumn out. Maybe he would've said ok we can target somebody else. Why don't I trust him enough to say that? Hmm idk I'm just so on edge. So a 4 person alliance was created and I'm soooooo happy. MY first alliance in this game! I finally feel have something I can maybe rely on and trust for a bit. It includes Autumn, Jake, and Tyler all of which I LOVEEEEE. Like omg this is my dream alliance I'm screaming. If we stick together we at least have enough to tie it. But who knows what will happen. I'm watching you JAKE >.>