#if u see a plot hole... no you didnt

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Pretend It's Someone That Came for You (18+)

pairing: coworker!wonwoo x fem!touch-starved!reader

genre: coworker au, office au, strangers to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), fluffy fluffy fluff fluff

description: you're lonely. you're so lonely you think it might actually kill you. but when wonwoo transfers to your office, he might just change that fact.

warnings: unprotected sex (do NOT pls my babes), soft dom!wonwoo, sub!reader, v loving sex, praise (f. receiving), confession of love, riding, fingering (f. receiving), pussy rubbing tihi, pet names (pretty girl, good girl, baby, darling, etc), VERY angsty beginning, yn is truly v sad so DO NOT READ THIS if u fear it will make u sad!!, they say i love u unrealistically fast but i had to do it, yn uses sex to feel less lonely/ends up feeling more lonely, relatable yn frs, slightly dramatized symptoms of touch-starvation (?), kinda boring plot but idc bc its CUTE AF

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "finally!!" (she was fed tf up), "stanley is the most stanley man ever. i hate him but i love him.", (more r coming she actually didnt have time 2 read this and i didnt want to wait with posting.)

wordcount: 10.0k

a/n: this story was supposed 2 have more angst, like it was supposed to have this whole misunderstanding, but it just didnt feel right, it made me sad, so instead this is a short n sweet love story xx

Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you. 

You weren’t always like this. You remember being a sociable, joyful child; half-broken bikes and teddy bears and booster seats. You remember pigtails and popsicle sticks and Power Rangers, and what came after that? Being a moody teenager, became being a moody adult. High school became college, and college became an office job that served to keep you alive, even if it didn’t feel like being alive. College wasn’t that bad, you remember, so at what point had you mistaken isolation for privilege? And at what point had you gone too far into that tunnel-hole to turn back? 

 You must’ve been cursed, you think, putting on your outfit for work in the deadly still apartment. Dust dares not move, dares not give you hope that you are not alone. 

You must’ve been cursed, you think, coming into work to a string of half-hearted, mumbled greetings. Your office is off-white and black and gray and everyone inhabiting it is also off-white and black and gray, and their skin is faintly oily and sickly and their faces are dragging down as if the very earth was reclaiming them and you think that you fit in here better than anywhere else. 

You must’ve been cursed, you think, when you spend your day writing emails and organizing documents of information into different formats to send to huge corporations. Sometimes you fantasize about the other end of the transaction. Maybe their office is warm and brown with an accent of blue, and maybe people put hands on each other's shoulders, when they tell one another they’ve done a good job. 

Yes, there’s no other explanation, you think, and can’t even muster the energy to feel bad when you blame some old hag from your hometown. You think she must’ve conjured up the worst ingredients, something cartoonishly evil, and a spell befell you, sunk into the crevices of your skin and dug into your pores.

You lie on your couch with a glass of wine and the television going, but you’re not really listening. You don’t think anyone has touched you in six months. You’re not even sure you’re real anymore. You swear, you could live with no one hearing you out, because you’re not sure you’d have anything worthwhile to say, but you just needed someone to touch you. To reach out a hand and confirm, you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips, and I’m squeezing your shoulder, and I see you, and I feel you right here.

Sometimes you think that the loneliness might kill you.

Lying physically very still, you still feel like you’re scrambling, fighting the clutch of the curse, and tugging on metal chains. Maybe that’s where all your energy goes. 

What do normal people do when they feel this bad?

Sometimes you leave open the window, and when the wind tugs at your door, you pretend it’s someone that came for you. 

Tug, tug, tug. The door rattles against its hinges when the fatally empty sky brings to you, in outstretched palms, the wind interlaced with glimmers of hope. 

There’s never anyone at the door.  _____________________________

This particular day starts like any other. You wake to your alarm and you put on clothes and you get ready and brush your teeth. Then you trample down to the bus stop. The sky is smothered by a duvet of heavy rain clouds. The rain hasn't come yet, but you know it will. Your fingers become stiff and hard, where they adhere to the polyester strap of your bag, massaging it. The bag is cold and dead.

The bus ride is by far the greatest part of your day. It’s quiet - early enough that you’re only accompanied by a few other souls. You rest your head on the window, vibrating gently against the curve of your forehead, and watch the people in the street. 

 The bus hums a gentle tune and snakes down the streets. Then you’re there, and whatever solace that it offers you under artificial light and mediocre, felted seats is gone. 

Your office building is maybe the most depressing place on earth. It’s no glamorous feat of architecture. It is but a large, orange-y, puke-y, brick square, and the building is shared between yours and the Forester company. You don’t talk to the Foresters, but you know they eat cream cheese bagels on their breaks and throw birthday parties and once you saw the branch manager squeezing a salesman’s shoulder and telling him he had done a good job. His fingers squeezed down and the movement of the fabric revealed a shoulder pad built into the suit. You remember thinking it was a shame that it blocked the real touch. 

Today, you walk up the stairs with heavy steps and you idle into the office building, eyes cast down to the dirty, gray carpet. You begin the long trek into the back of the building where your desk is located.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.

“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 

“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 

“Morning.”

“M-”

Wait a minute. 

Your greeting falls short. You don’t recognize that voice. Stopping in your tracks, your shoes scratch on the rough carpet, and lift your head to see him. 

The first thing you notice is that he’s the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. He looks like he jumped out of an underwear commercial; he’s all strong jawline, sharp eyes, round glasses on his pretty nose, neatly trimmed, short dark hair stretching down the planes of his face. He’s wearing a button up (usually you wouldn’t even register the clothing your coworkers adorned, but something about how he wore it was noteworthy), a tie draping over the dress shirt, and formal slacks hugging his thighs. 

He smiles at you sheepishly, hands nervously smoothing down his thighs. 

“I’m Wonwoo” he says curtly, nodding to you. “Just transferred from the Wallingset branch.” 

You nod. “Right. Wallingset,” you nod more. “Nice to meet you. I’m Y/n.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Y/n.” 

Something about your name on his lips makes your heart flutter. It’s pathetic, you know, but his peregrine being in his office chair, spilling your name from his pink lips makes you feel a little more real. You look at him and then you nod again-again, kicking your legs into gear again and walking the last stretch to your desk. 

You can see the back of his head from your orange-wood desk. Papers and sticky notes are scattered among the desktop. The monitor watches you accusingly, all big and square and black, waiting for you to open it up and begin working. Your eyes linger on him for a moment. Then you work. 

A few hours pass on emails and translating information from a company into a comprehensive sheet. However, today you’re having a hard time focusing on work. 

This is not new. 

Sometimes you briefly talk to a man at the grocery store, and your mind will wander to him for next week, wondering if he’s thinking about you too, imagining yourself cuddling with him, watching movies, imagining him telling you it’ll all be okay. Sometimes you briefly talk to a man on the street, sometimes it’s even a date, but whatever the case you obsess and you dream and you always end up alone. 

Today the victim of your depraved mind is Wonwoo. The guilt is easy to push away. You feel sorry for yourself. You think you deserve this. You think you can’t survive without this. And so you imagine him hugging you, stroking your hair, and you imagine him falling in love with you, and you imagine not being alone. Your fingers rest on your keyboard. It’s old and mechanical. You think it’s from a yard sale, probably an old woman whose children moved away. It’s plastic, and it curves inwards underneath the pads of your fingertips. The keys are cold and dead. 

You fully zone out, eyes blearing into the back of his head, but you don’t really see it, your mind has traveled elsewhere. You guiltily imagine his hand between your legs, on your chest, straddling him, kissing him. And it’s not rough, it’s loving, because in this world he loves you, and he’d do anything for you, and you don’t have to be alone again.

You don’t love Wonwoo. It’s not some magical love at first sight, it’s not a romance book, it’s real life. You’re lonely. You need this to survive. 

“Hey, Y/n?” 

You snap your head up. Maybe you were still daydreaming. But you recognized the voice well and true, and it was Wonwoo, leaned over your desk, hands in his pockets.

“Oh, uhm, hey-” your voice is shaky and you quickly rush to compose yourself, hands moving frantically and uselessly to glide papers over one another and, then, realizing that there was no point to your movements, stilling and looking up at him, cheeks flushed. “Hey.” 

Wonwoo smiles gently. “Uh, you know, I was wondering,” he looks around the office, as if surveying the area. “If you knew where to get a good lunch? I don’t know this area at all, so..” 

He trails off, looking at you expectantly for an answer. Now that he’s standing before you, it’s much harder to ignore the guilt you feel. You wanna gnaw at your nails until they’re nubs, you want to crawl under your desk and cover your eyes. Does he see how red your cheeks are? 

“Uhm- well- I don’t- I eat a packed lunch, so I’m-” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m, uh, no expert,” you giggle awkwardly and watch his gentle smile drop into pursed lips. “But! Uh- I hear the- the hot dog stand, uh, just a little down the street is good!” 

“Really? Maybe I should try it,” he contemplates, smile returning to his lips. “Would you mind showing me this mysterious hot dog stand?” 

“Uh-” 

Just seconds before you were thinking of his fingers in your pussy, and his hands caressing you, and him making you feel loved. He’s standing before you and he’s a totally normal guy, and you feel like shit. You feel like shit for using this fake image of him to comfort yourself. You can’t be around him, can’t convince yourself that maybe this’ll turn into something more - not when you always end up alone. Your brows furrow in determination.

“Actually, I have to, uh, get this done, so-” you gesture vaguely to your monitor. 

“Right! Yeah,” Wonwoo seems embarrassed, biting his lips and nodding. “It’s, uh, just down the street?” 

“Yeah, to the right when you walk out the building.” 

“For sure. Thanks,” he doesn’t even look at you then, just waves you off half-heartedly and starts trailing down the office. His shoulders are incredibly broad and his belt wraps tightly around his small waist.

You feel like shit.  _____________________________

Why is no one else cursed? 

You look out of the window, lying on your bed after work. Everything is very still and unmoving - your whole apartment feels like it’s knotted in strings, tightened until everything is snapped into place, and if you move the wrong muscles, the invisible hands will let go and everything will fly and hurdle through your home, and you can almost hear the sound, like the hard, empty sound of throwing a bowling ball and getting a strike. 

No one else is cursed. People crowd the streets with friends, family, partners, and they’re talking and laughing. You rest your head in the windowsill, a lone spectator in the window. The glass cuts you off from the streets. 

The afternoon after daydreaming the way you did about Wonwoo is always hard. Your apartment seems intent on suffocating you. Your daydreams serve as a reminder that you’re alone, that you truly have no one, and the act itself is so humiliating, you sulk into a glass of red wine and sometimes you cry. What do normal people do when they feel this bad, you wonder again, sobbing in your bed and spilling wine on your nightie. 

Nighttime falls early while you’re crying. You weep on and off, hug your knees, eat a microwave dinner and watch TV, light casting onto your pathetic form on the couch.

And in your most vulnerable state is when you most easily slip into your old habits. 

You press an old contact in your phone, one you’d tried to steer away from recently. You wipe mascara from your reddened cheeks, you wear pretty lingerie, and you lie, completely empty, void of any warmth, on your bed, awaiting.

It’s the first time he touches you in months. When his hand finds your shoulder, you shudder terribly. Sorry, he says, and he seems taken aback. Just ignore it, you plead, just ignore it. He does so, unsurely, and every time his hand grazes over your body you shudder and sob and every time he hesitates, asking if you’re okay, you cry at him to continue.

It feels good while it’s happening. Skin beneath your fingertips, hands on you, a face close to yours. You and him are the only thing moving in the apartment, synergizing on your bed, conjoining and writhing, and for just a moment, you don’t feel so alone. 

When you’re done the anonymous man stands back up, sliding on his pants in the late hour. He says it was great and you hum. But then he looks around, hesitating on every old piece of furniture, on every photo on the walls, and lastly on you.

“What?” you ask, lying naked in your bed. He grimaces at you, as if signaling that he can’t quite figure it out himself. 

“I don’t know,” he says slowly, hands on his newly-clothed hips and surveying the corners of the room, where shadows pool. “It feels haunted in here.” 

He leaves. 

When the warmth is gone, the bile rises in your throat. Old habits die hard, you think, and you feel totally empty. You couldn’t go on like this. It was nights like these you began to feel like a martyr - sacrificing yourself for a brief escape. Because when the door is closed with a click and you’re alone again, you feel yourself trembling and your heart is glowing red in the empty astral plane. Brief, easy forms of pleasure are often the most harmful.

It feels haunted in here. You remember his words, and before you finally fall asleep, you wonder one thing. You wonder if you’re already dead.  _____________________________

The next day is a pain to overcome. You’re slightly hungover, slightly sore, and very uncomfortable. But you comply with your routine, and you enjoy the bus ride, and when you get to the office everyone greets you. 

 “Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Tina.

“Morning, Tina,” you mumble back.

“Morning, Y/n,” mumbles Gerard. 

“Morning, Gerard,” you mumble back. 

“Morning, Y/n,” Wonwoo says. You look up from the carpet carefully, flashing him an apologetic smile. You hope he can read its intention: Sorry about being weird yesterday. You think he got it.

“Morning, Wonwoo.” 

And then you’re landing yourself at your own desk and beginning work once more. It’s boring, but today you ward off the daydreams and you focus, and you’re getting an exceptional amount done. 

The clock on the wall (off-white, but yellowing near the top) reads 12:28 when your boss, Stan, approaches your table. He’s half bald, and his suit is much too loose, and he has a ladder of wrinkles climbing his larger-than-life forehead. 

“Hey, N/n!” he calls, so loud that a couple of heads turn at the commotion. You’ve asked him several times not to call you that. 

“Stanley,” you breathe, tapping a stack of papers on your desk to neaten the pile. You wonder if you were in trouble, but if his smile is anything to go by, you’d guess not. 

“My favorite woman in accounting!” 

“Hehe,” you laugh half-heartedly. You catch the eye of Wonwoo, glancing over his shoulder with a small, teasing smile. You smile back. 

“I have a big- oh wait, wait, new guy, uhh, Jeon? Come over here real quick!” Suddenly his solid fingers waft the now scared Wonwoo over. The spectacled man’s shoulders hunch up as he moves off the chair, nodding respectfully. Wonwoo stands beside Stanley at your desk, and you focus your attention on Stanley, hoping to not get too lost in the idea of Wonwoo again - you were doing so good today. 

“I have a big job for you, and I thought you could work with Wonwoo on it,” Stan moves his hand up to cup the side of his mouth, as if telling you a big secret, “seeing as he was a bit of a star over in Wallingset.”

Shit. The guy you were daydreaming about was working with you? Wonwoo laughs, embarrassed, but you hardly have time to catch it. You can’t do this. Yesterday you were thinking about him fingering you while looking at you lovingly!

“We have a massive, new client! Just dropped a big competitor of ours, and they want us to do their six month report!” Stanley seems genuinely excited about this, so you can’t help feeling a little guilty that you’ll be a gobbering, slobbering mess, sitting beside Wonwoo on this. 

“That’s great-”

“I know! So, my two star members in accountancy, I’ll hand this off to you. The data should be coming into your emails soon,” without letting either of you react, Stanley hunches over, like a coach does before a little-league baseball game, wrapping his arms around both of you and Wonwoo. “You got this, troopers!” 

Stanley claps his hands on both of your backs, so hard you jerk forward at the movement, and then he bounces off to the elevator at the far end of the room. You sigh heavily from the interaction. It’s quiet for a moment, while you fiddle with the papers in front of you.

“What a guy,” Wonwoo muses finally, thin fingers resting on the edge of your desk. You giggle, unable to look him in the eye for fear that you might remember how you’d thought about starting a family with him. “Yeah.”

You and Wonwoo settle into an unoccupied meeting room, and it’s all very professional. Markers and post-its, trying to find the best way to structure the report, excel sheets to categorize and overlook data, double check numbers. 

However bad you think it’s going to be, you’re wrong. Wonwoo is easy to talk to - he’s quiet, but he’s intelligent, and he understands how to bring on conversation, even when you fold in on yourself like a used napkin. 

“Yeah, we used to steal signs from our neighborhood,” Wonwoo admits halfway into a conversation about your hometowns. “I don’t think that’s gonna fly anymore.” 

“Why stop now? You’re letting societal rules hold you back,” you joke, and the two of you laugh, and it’s so pathetic, you’re certain you haven’t laughed this much in years, and the conversation has lasted maybe 20 minutes. 

“Well, I could show you the craft, you know, it’s a delicate process-” 

While Wonwoo talks your phone buzzes and you absent-mindedly pick it up, reviewing the notification.

Your grin drops. Faintly, you hear Wonwoo stop talking. He tilts his head to study the way you frown at the screen. “What’s up?” he asks. 

It’s the guy from last night and he’s asking if you’ll be available again tonight. 

Maybe it’s how you could almost forget it - how you let yourself into positions that would hurt you, just to feel seen and heard and touched. Maybe it’s the dichotomy of that encounter and now, talking to Wonwoo, and having the laughter steal away the loneliness. But you’re reminded so terribly of your position. You’re reminded that this, too, will end, and that the loneliness will return. You’re reminded that once the shift ends, you’re alone again. 

Suddenly you’re a thousand daggers all pointing out. You shield yourself. 

“Uh,” you trail off, putting the phone down again. “Just some guy.” 

Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise. “Boyfriend?” 

“No!” you say quickly. “No, he’s, uh. Just some guy.” 

A pause. 

“Okay,” Wonwoo says. You don’t even remember where you left off the conversation. You bite your lip because everything is all agony. The table is cold and dead beneath your hand. 

“I’m thinking we group these together,” you say, eyes now tuned to your screen and fully submerged back into your work. Work. That was all that could cover your beaten down, cursed self. 

The rest of the shift you feel Wonwoo looking at you carefully, as if he’s trying to read you. You don’t talk about yourselves anymore, no more banter, no more witty comments. You structure the report, and try to ignore how his eyes laser you open. You don’t like it. You feel like he can tell you’re a pathetic, lonely woman and that you have nothing and no one. You feel like he can sense the curse upon you. 

This would be torture.  _____________________________

It is not torture. 

The next day, to your surprise, Wonwoo is nowhere to be seen. You wait 5, 10, then 15 minutes in the meeting room you’d camped in, before you begin working on your own. It’s slower without him, but you manage. 

You can’t help but slightly worry about him. It feels stupid. You know you’re putting too much emotion into a person you’d known for two days, but you can’t help it. You wonder if he’s gotten hurt or injured, or if maybe he hates you and has transferred back. You think even Excel finds you pathetic. 

You sit there for three hours, among the ruins of paperwork and your open laptop, running your hand through your hair and typing in sentences that mean nothing, and the wallpaper is off-white and yellowing at the top, and the blinds are closed to the meeting room. 

Around 1 PM the door to the meeting room is opened, wood smacking against the glass that surrounds it, and Wonwoo stands in the doorway, slightly out of breath. You snap your head up to him, like the jerk of a lifeless doll, suddenly interrupted from a very disorganized Excel sheet.

“Hi, shit, sorry,” he gasps, slinging his bag off of his shoulder to sit down next to you. 

“Are you okay?” you ask immediately, and Wonwoo nods blindly, pulling his laptop out of his bag. “Yeah,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed and licking his lips. “My cat- my cat needed surgery, she got sick last night, it was an emergency.” 

You nod in understanding, “it’s okay-” 

You can hardly get the words out before Wonwoo rolls his chair back, wheels resounding hollowly on the floor, so he can look at you clearly. “I’m really sorry about this, it was not nice of me to leave you alone with this.” He gestures vaguely to the scattered papers, and you shake your head.

“It’s okay, Wonwoo, I get it,” you say reassuringly, peering up at him through your lashes. “You don’t need to worry about it. You’re here now.” 

Wonwoo seems less intent on personal conversations today - it’s probably because he was so late, and now is trying to make up the time. But it’s okay, in fact you’re somewhat relieved, because it dampens the false hope that blooms in your chest, whenever he asks you about your life. 

Even if you and Wonwoo work hard and quietly, you slip into the late hours of the night in an attempt to keep on track for your schedule. Outside the windows that separate you from real life, the sky turns orange, and then dark, muted blue, and stars begin dotting its impressive stretches. People begin to leave around five, and by the time you and Wonwoo finish all your work, you’re the last ones left on your floor of the office. 

Wonwoo lets out a loud sigh when he finally finishes the second segment of your report, and the both of you slump back in your seats. 

“It’s so fucking late,” Wonwoo limply throws his hand in the direction of the window. You smile a little, looking out. Smaller buildings spawn geometrically from the ground, and every once in a while someone walks by with their dog, spotlighted by the stretch of street lamps that stand outside the parking lot. “I really am sorry about this, you know. Really ruined your night,” he says quietly. 

You shake your head. “It’s fine, I had nothing to come home to anyway.” 

There’s a pause.

Wonwoo looks at you intensely. Oh shit, you realize, was that too obvious? Was that too pathetic? Has it just clicked that you’re a loser that no one wants? You nervously look back at him, but there’s no malice in his eyes. A totally unreadable expression adorns his features, where he’s leaned back in his leather chair, legs spread invitingly. You look away, feeling dumb. 

“At least we followed our schedule!” you say. Wonwoo snorts.

“Yeah, thanks to you. If you hadn’t completed so much before I got here, it would’ve been hopeless.” 

Now it’s your turn to scoff, blushing lightly and looking at the linoleum flooring. “I don’t know about tha-” 

“Seriously, Y/n, just take the compliment,” Wonwoo reaches a hand over, and you watch its movement.

It’s like time slows down, not like the movies, no, like you can stop time with the heavy weight of your gaze, pinning his muscles in place. But you can’t, and it lands on your shoulder with a soft thud. Fuck. His hand is warm and alive on you. 

“You did so well today, I-” Wonwoo cuts himself off, because suddenly you’re trembling. 

He feels your body shuddering and jerking under his hand, like the wind rattles your door when you leave it open, and he can’t see your face behind a curtain of hair, but he hears you gasp, and, fuck, you look like you’re sobbing. 

The man from last night had become so hesitant when you reacted this way. When your body trembled and shook and when you cried, but Wonwoo seems to understand. He peers at you from above the rims of his glasses, and his hand stays put right there on your shoulder. 

“Y/n,” he whispers, so sincere it causes a pathetic squeak to escape you. What must he think of you? The thoughts spiral and you can’t control a single one of them, they dance like freed souls in your head, and you can’t stop the spasming of your muscles, and you know you look so pathetic beside him right. “Y/n, look at me.” 

You don’t. You can’t. You can’t because there are tears spilling from the rims of your eyes, and rolling down your cheeks, wet and glossy. Besides, you’re an ugly crier. 

“Look at me,” he says seriously, finger tightening on your shoulder. You try to steady your breath and calm your tears, before you obey and begin to turn your chair. The simple motion requires so much effort - it’s like the air has become so thick, that the friction against your leather seat slows you down. 

Finally you turn to him, eyes first resting on his knees, then, carefully, traveling up to his face. He’s frowning. 

Your face is reddened and your eyes are puffy, your cheeks are shiny and you chew your bottom lip in a futile attempt to keep the tears at bay. 

Wonwoo looks genuinely devastated. The hand on your shoulder softens its grasp, then begins petting your arm, rubbing up and down. The action has you choking out gasps, trembling even more in his hold, and Wonwoo feels the need to roll his chair closer to you, so his other hand can grab yours. His thumb rubs over the back of it, and he lowers his head to look at you. 

“Shh, relax, relax, Y/n,” he whispers, and you try to nod, but it’s so overwhelming; being touched, being seen, being heard, all at once. For months, maybe years, no one has touched you like this - as if they care. Now the feeling is foreign, so scorching hot on your arm and your hand, your body can’t take it anymore. You’re stuck between wanting to lean into his hands, wanting to feel how real you are, and how physically true your existence is, and wanting to shy away. What must he think of you? 

“Y/n,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut to banish the sigh of your sobbing. “When was the last time someone touched you?” 

You hiccup painfully. “Uhm- I- I don’t, ” your eyes are bleary and your lashes are wet. Your lip trembles and your whole body shakes when you try to breathe. 

Apparently this was enough of an answer for Wonwoo, because he suddenly stands, somewhat harshly tugging you into a standing position too, and pulls you directly into the harbor of his arms. 

Instinctively, you wrap your arms around his torso. His chest is pressed flat against yours, so, so warm, when he nudges your head into the crook of his neck, and presses his face against its side, sighing softly into you, and breathing warm air onto your hair. His palms push you into him, soothing your trembling body, and holding you like an anker. One hand travels up to your hair. 

“W-Wonwoo, you don’t have to-”

“Shh,” he quiets you immediately, voice the softest wind of a peach tree. “Just let me take care of you.” 

You do. Wonwoo holds you until you stop crying, and though it must’ve been twenty minutes or so, it feels like no time at all. Standing in his space, breathing in his dark cologne, and letting his heat thaw your dead heart is a totally timeless act. Joy and serenity flows from the places where your bodies touch. When you stop crying, Wonwoo holds you for longer. 

Eventually, he lets you go. 

You step back sheepishly, now much calmer and the red in your face faded. You wipe your tired eyes shyly with your sleeve. 

“Thank you, Wonwoo,” you mumble, voice thick and garbled. When you look up at him, he smiles softly, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says softly, arm extending one last time to squeeze your forearm. Then it falls limp again. 

“I, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Of course.” 

When you return home, you’re buzzing. Your entire apartment buzzes along with you, things seem to clatter and beam along with the bright, glowing of your heart. You snuggle into bed and nothing is still and even when you’re drifting into sleep, your nerve endings spin in joyful circles, and your feet are a static hum. Suddenly you are very, very real. _____________________________

You’d think the next day would be tense and awkward, and maybe it is at first, but soon enough you’re talking again, more intimately than before even. 

This is Wonwoo’s doing - you know this. You know he’s smart and you know he doesn’t want you to feel bad, so he makes conversation and builds trust between the two of you. You know he hopes you don’t feel insecure. Every word he says and every flick of his eyes is riddled with it. 

The conversation decidedly slows down your progress, so Wonwoo once more suggests staying overtime. You look at him for a moment before agreeing. 

You can’t tell what his end goal is. A chamber of your heart has been revived and rebirthed, and you’re more chipper, more bouncy, but the rest of your heart insists: you’re still cursed - eventually it’ll go back to how it should be. You listen. You try not to get your hopes up that Wonwoo really cares about you. Why should he, really?

Although when you’re done for the day, about an hour after your usual 5 PM, you stand up and begin to pack your things, laptop sliding into your bag and clustering pens in your hand. It’s gray outside, but the sun comes in a single strand through a gap in the smog and the clouds. The wind hoots by the windows, and it smells like the indian you ordered for lunch together. 

You stop your packing, feeling a set of eyes in your back. You twist your head to see him.

Wonwoo is sitting completely still in his chair, slack-covered legs spread open, and he makes no move to collect his own things. He just stares. 

“What’s up?” you quip. You’re slightly nervous. Just before it was all silly childhood stories, college and weed and life before the dead-end job. Now Wonwoo has that unreadable expression on his face again. 

He slowly lifts his hands from the armrest, eyes locked with yours, and claps his palms on the tops of his thighs. 

Your eyebrows furrow. 

“Wha-” 

“Come here,” he says simply. When you stand completely still, like a deer in the headlights, Wonwoo scoffs and rolls his eyes. “What? You think you’re cured because someone hugged you once?” 

“Cured?”

“You’re touch-starved, Y/n,” Wonwoo states matter-of-factly, “you need to be touched.” 

“Touch-starved?” you echo, a bewildered expression on your face.

“We can also just hug, like yesterday,” he suggests calmly. You envy his collectedness. “I just don’t want you to feel bad. So please. Come sit.”

To emphasize, Wonwoo pats his thighs again, patiently. You step away from your bag with hesitating steps, pursing your lips. Your cheeks blaze when you look at his thighs again - they’re so long, and the folds in his slacks stretch down and centralize on his crotch and- You’re being a pervert. 

“Okay,” you squeak and Wonwoo tuts. Why is that hot, you think, why the hell is that hot?

“We can just hug if you-” 

You feel bold.

Without letting him finish, you swing your leg over his, and plop down, straddling halfway down his thighs. You thank God you put pants on this morning instead of a skirt, when you look down at where you rest on top of him. 

Wonwoo is a little taken aback, but when you’ve settled on him, his hands find your waist and he looks up at you with a hum. Your breathing is a little shaky. Once again his hands provide a pumping of golden joy into your body, and more of you comes alive and becomes real, and you smile. 

What had Wonwoo been talking about? Touch-starved?

“What’s, um-” your question is cut off with a gasp, when Wonwoo uses his hands on your middle to tug you closer. You rest on the highest point of thighs that you can without sitting on his dick. Cheeks red and eyes squeezed shut, you hear how Wonwoo hums, pleased. “What were you talking about? Touch-starved?” you whisper, keeping your eyes shut. 

Wonwoo sighs, and once more, like the movement is entirely replayed, his hand finds your hair and pushes your face into the crook of his neck. You sigh against it, enjoying how his arms protect you and hide you from the evil of the world. 

“If you don’t touch anyone,” Wonwoo begins, his voice low bass in your ear, “you become touch-starved. That’s why you reacted the way you did yesterday.” 

His hands run up and down your sides. 

“But- but I’m not crying today,” you say quietly into his neck. Wonwoo hums.

“No, that’s good,” he says. “We can stop if you really want, I just wa-”

“No!” your voice squeaks immediately, and, as if he were running from you, you fist his shirt to keep him close. 

“Okay,” there’s a smile in Wonwoo’s voice. You can’t see it but you can imagine it. 

Comfortable silence. Wonwoo traces patterns on your back and you breathe deeply against the skin of his neck. The two of you function as one living thing, the only living thing left in the office. Chairs are turned halfway, a couple lights are left on. The desks betray the past presence of humans. 

“Wonwoo,” you pip. 

“Mhm?” 

“You don’t have to do this, you know? I don’t want you to do it if you- if it’s just.. Pity.” 

Wonwoo sighs, and you feel the way his torso deflates underneath you. He trails his hand up from your back to tap your cheek. You move back and look at him. 

Your faces are very close, you can feel how your exhales collide and then scatter, hell, you think you could count each of his eyelashes from here. 

“I already told you. I’m doing this because I don’t want you to feel bad. I-” he hesitates for a moment, pursing his lips. “I’ve been there. So I know what it’s like.” 

The thought of Wonwoo feeling like this, like you, is sickening. Genuinely sickening, you feel your insides turn to rot and mold and you frown so deeply, you think your lips might forever lock in that position. 

“I’m okay now,” he reassures, reading you immediately. His hand finds your cheek and he almost cries out at the way you lean into it blindly. 

“How did you-.. I- I always thought it was, like, a lifelong curse,” you say.

“A curse?” Wonwoo grins, thumb stroking over the skin of your cheek. It makes you happy, it makes you feel like your heart will burst. 

“Yeah. I guess I just blamed some old woman from my hometown,” you giggle, blushing a little because, yes, it did sound stupid when you weren’t just echoing the theory to yourself, like playing a team sport alone. 

“You’re not cursed,” Wonwoo promises, tucking your head into his chest. “I’ll help you, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you from now on.” 

He does take care of you. 

Every day you work overtime, and every day when you’re done with work, Wonwoo slides you into his lap and holds you, while you curl up in his chest. Then you talk and you laugh, and you listen to each other's music. His hands run warm up your back and in your hair and on your hips, gentle caresses, deeply intimate. For two weeks you and Wonwoo indulge in this nighttime ritual. 

You have not felt lonely since that night. And Wonwoo can tell. Your skin is warmer and brighter, you smile wider, your eyes twinkle, and there’s energy in every movement. Your body thaws under his warm hands every night, and sometimes when you smile, he gets so happy he could kiss you. 

You realize you like Wonwoo one particular night when you’re falling asleep in your bed and you can still feel the ghost of his arms around you and it lulls you into a deep, dreamless sleep, and when you wake up you smell a little bit like his cologne. That’s how you realize. You like how considerate and how gentle he is, you like how sweet he is to you, you like how he looks when he smiles and when he laughs and you like how much he loves his cat. You like how his arms feel wrapped around you. 

And you like him, and suddenly your apartment is a song that you dance in, and every photo on your walls is smiling and your bed is always warm and so is your heart. 

There’s nothing dead in here, you think, when you cook a delicious meal on the stovetop, sauce bubbling in a stainless steel pan. Nothing haunted about your home or your heart. _____________________________

“We’re almost done.” 

“Mhm.” 

“I can’t believe we’re almost done!” 

Wonwoo looks up, bemused, lips made small and pointed. You’re staring at the almost-done document, scrolling up and down through long and arduous paragraphs. It’s nighttime again - not that you had to stay late today, it was a choice - and the city glimmers brilliantly in the coolness. You and Wonwoo wear sweaters to keep warm. 

“Feels like a lifetime,” Wonwoo murmurs, same smile upon his beautiful face. His cheekbones point out from beneath his skin. 

“Yeah,” you breathe, leaning back. You won’t put your fingers back on the keyboard. Not when it could be done so soon. You look at him, all snuggled up in a brown sweater. “What if..” 

A pause. He tilts his head.

“Well, are we still gonna talk?” you chew your lip dejectedly, feeling a little sad and desperate, but Wonwoo only laughs. It’s a beautiful sound, it’s one you associate with joy. 

“Of course,” he says, as his laughter quiets down. “If you want to.” 

A shy smile forms on your lips. You turn to look back at the computer, but you hear the now-familiar sound of Wonwoo patting his thighs. You flit your eyes back to him, teasingly scolding.

“We’re not done.” 

“We don’t have to be done now,” he shrugs, an equally teasing smile on his lips. You roll your eyes, but, unsurprisingly, you shift over to him, sitting down in his lap. He immediately tugs you closer, fingers searching for stimulation on the seams of your jeans. There’s something different about Wonwoo today, you realize, his touch is more feverish, his fingers dig deeper into the fat of your hips and he looks up at you like you’re a diamond-encrusted chandelier, hanging from the ceiling, all glittering jewels. 

“What’s up?” you giggle nervously. It’s becoming hard to breathe with the way he paws at your hips. 

There’s something in the air between you, but maybe you’re imagining it. Maybe it’s your mind playing tricks on you, concocting the magnetic pull that lingers between you, the thicker, heavier air, that urges you closer. 

He sighs heavily, as if he was dreading this. All of a sudden composed, cool, icy Wonwoo is chewing his lip and avoiding your eyes, looking instead down where your fat gives way for his needy fingers. 

“I, uh, I really like you, Y/n,” his voice shakes. “Would you. Maybe. Want to go out some time?” 

At the last syllable his gaze locks on to yours, and you watch him visibly relax, because you’re fucking grinning. 

Not maliciously, not crudely, not a dime or a dab of evil, only genuine joy. 

“I-I would like that,” you control your smile, pointing your lips in the same way that Wonwoo does and blushing all over. Wonwoo grins too and it’s unbearably boyish. 

“Okay,” he says, as if he can’t believe it. “Okay. Great.” 

The window slams shut, the spell is undone by his hand, the dead defy their only law to bow to his necromancy. Wonwoo is alive and warm underneath you, and you are alive and warm on top of him, thighs pushed up against his and tugging at the fabric of his shirt. Your balloon of heart pops in your chest, and the bone-cage of your chest is filled with helium, that has you floating. Rosy and shiny, your heart beats at twice its normal speed.

There’s a lull in the conversation. It would’ve been a more comfortable silence, if you couldn’t see by how Wonwoo looks down and purses his lips, that he’s itching to say more. 

Sparked by his confession, you confidently snake your hand up to tap his cheek lazily. He turns to you with a loafy smile. “What is it?” 

He breathes out unsteadily.

“You’re-” he closes his eyes. “There’s so much I like about you. It- It makes me feel really bad that you weren’t feeling well, so I-” 

He cringes at himself, one hand pushing away his glasses to rub the eyes underneath them. 

“Can I make you feel better?” he asks vaguely. 

You huff out a laugh. “Are you trying to ask if I want to have sex?” 

He laughs too, behind his big hand. “No. It’s not the same, I want it to be about you!” 

You laugh more, and Wonwoo’s face reappears as he lowers his hand. He looks up at you adoringly, dotingly. He’s smiling.

“I’m being serious,” he says quietly, when you finish. He seems less embarrassed now, more so smug. “I want to make you feel good.” 

He’s paying an awful lot of attention to your hips, which he has not let up massaging and squeezing roughly. 

“Can I..?” he begins, eyes fixed on your hips in his lap. “Can I make you cum?” 

Then, slowly, Wonwoo lifts his hands and gently places them around on your face. His touch is always as soft as a hope-laced wind. He’s warm and he’s alive and he’s holding onto you, and you see it in his eyes: you’re real, you’re right underneath my fingertips. 

“Please.”

That’s all he needs, before he presses his lips against yours.

The kiss is everything you want it to be; because it’s loving. It’s slow, it’s deep, it’s gentle, there’s no tongue, just the soft, warm, real, alive flows of his lips against your own. His hands on both of your cheeks caress your cheekbones gently, and warm air is spilled in the small space between you. He pulls away, panting. 

“I don’t understand it,” he mumbles, before he’s pressing his lips back to yours hungrily. You let out a confused hum, and you have to gently push at his shoulder to back him off again. “What do you mean?” you ask.

“Why you were so alone,” he breathes, transfixed on your lips. “I want to be with you all the time.” 

Before you can respond, Wonwoo grips the underside of your thighs, lifting you and himself from the chair and placing you on the desk. You gasp at the impact when the glass table meets your bottom, and Wonwoo is standing over you, suddenly so tall and so broad, and slimming at the waist. His narrow eyes become hooded behind the reflection of his glasses. His head is tilted down to meet yours.

“Can I take off your clothes, pretty?” 

You don’t answer, only grip the edge of your shirt, tugging it over your head, so your bra-clad chest is exposed to him. He groans at the sight. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, nimble fingers dancing across your back to unclip the bra, sucking in a harsh breath the fabric becomes loose, sliding down your arms. “Such a pretty girl.” 

“Stop,” you whisper, face warm and red. Your heart has never beat this way. It’s utterly unbearable and addicting at the same time, it’s without rhythm or class, it’s wild. And it’s because he’s looking at you and it’s not just lust. It’s adoration. There are deeper strings to the make-up of his eyes, there are lines connected to his heart, and he’s all flushed.

“What?” he asks. “I’m just telling you the truth.” 

Wonwoo throws your bra on the floor next to him, hands finding the hem of your pants. “Can I take your pants off?” 

You nod, still so shy and abashed, because Wonwoo’s eyes feel like a pink spotlight, and you are bathed in its warmth. He unbuttons your pants and you gently slide off the table to work them off your legs. 

“Your panties are cute,” Wonwoo remarks (it should feel lewd, but he has a hand on your hip, that brushes the bone and he smiles at it). “Thank you,” you breathe, before you’re taking them off too.

Wonwoo doesn’t need to, but he still insists on gently lifting you back onto the table, and he kisses your nose when you’re sitting before him. He’s standing in between your legs, and then he’s looking down at where wetness drips onto the glass table. 

His hand slides down your stomach, resting on the fat of it. He’s smiling, he’s so gorgeous, because he’s smiling the most gentle smile at how wet you are and how it leaks onto the table and his hand is so warm on your stomach, doing nothing, yet turning you on even more than you’d ever been before.

He sighs like he’s carrying the greatest burden on his broad back. “You’re so pretty,” he says, almost exasperated by it. He pinches some of the fat of your stomach between his fingers lovingly. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this.” 

Then the hand on your stomach slides down further. His large, veiny hand cups your pussy, the tips of his fingers just barely teasing your hole. You whimper against him, hands finding his biceps for support. Wonwoo studies you, craning his neck down to peer at your face, while his fingers begin swaddling your folds. 

“You’re so wet, baby,” he mumbles, trying to catch your eye where you bury into his chest. One finger dips into your hole, penetrating slowly and settling knuckle-deep. 

“Wonnie!” you cry out, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Mmm, clenching down on Wonnie’s finger so hard. My beautiful girl.” 

He begins pushing his finger in and out of you, pace slow and torturous. His other hand slides up and down your body, squeezing your waist then your thigh, then coming right back up to fondle your chest. He pushes your back flat against the glass, so you’re all splayed out for him and you watch him from there, eyes hooded and legs spread to accommodate him. He breathes in shakily at the sight of you. 

“Shit, Y/n. What were you doing hiding all this from me?” His finger picks up the pace, as another finger slips in alongside it. You’re moaning and panting, lips red and hair mussed, unable to focus on his words, when his fingers curl against that spongy spot inside you. Apparently Wonwoo expects an answer though, because he speaks again, voice lower and rougher. “Hm? You didn’t want to go have lunch? What, was it that guy?”

“W-What?” 

“Just some guy,” Wonwoo echoes your past words, emphasizing with a harsh thrust of his fingers. 

“N-No, I- Hng!” you cry out, when Wonwoo’s thumb presses onto your clit. He rubs it torturously. “I-I was embarrassed because I- I was thinking about you!” 

“Oh?” this catches Wonwoo’s attention, as he diligently works his hand within you, staring down at your naked form, fully clothed and tall. “Tell me what you were thinking about, baby.” 

“This!” you cry out, too high off the pleasure to really feel embarrassed about it.

“Pretty, sweet, dumb baby. You were thinking about you whimpering and writhing while I fuck you with my hand, hm?”

“N-No,” you mumble, cheeks aflame. “W-Was thinking about you l-liking me.” 

At this Wonwoo hastily leans over you, pressing his lips onto yours again, and this time his tongue pries open your mouth, wet and warm in the cavern of your mouth. You moan into the kiss, hips canting into his hand. There’s something so desperate about him then, something so eager in the way he crooks his fingers, and how he kisses you, panting and covering your face in warm air. You feel a tight knot in your stomach.

“Cum on my fingers, please, pretty, sweet, baby, darling,” he mumbles into your mouth, rushing out the words before he’s sealing your lips again. 

“God, I think I might fall in love with you.” 

That makes you cum. You cum so fucking hard, clenching around his fingers like an air-tight seal, and your cum spills onto his fingers and his name spills into his mouth. The curse comes out with it, escaping like the air that spills out from an ancient, rediscovered chamber, and dissipating into the night. Your heart is beating and you’re breathing into his mouth, nose brushing his. 

“Good girl,” he breathes, finally releasing your lips and letting his lips fall heavy and wet on your cheek. 

He pulls out his fingers, unbearably wet and slick, and you think for a second that he’ll let you calm down and then maybe he’ll put his dick in you, but as soon as the fingers are out of you, they’re settling back on to your clit, rubbing heavy-handed circles.

You whine, arching your back off the table and wiggling your hips at the overstimulation. His other hand catches your hip and he shushes your cries softly. 

“You can cum again, can’t you, baby? You can take it,” he says, so nonchalantly, while his slick fingers rub you. You cry out. Your legs are shaking. “Think you can cum again from just this?”

“Y-Yes,” you sigh and when you look down, his entire hand covers your pussy, as he pets your clit in circles. He smiles at your words, pinching your clit teasingly. It causes a squeak to escape you, hips struggling against his hold, where he pins you to the table.

“Good girl,” he praises, purring. “Letting me use your pretty pussy like this, letting me make you feel good.” 

His body in front of you prevents your legs from closing, but, God, do they try, knees pinching his thin waist, and hair bunching up on the glass when your face scrunches up in pleasure. 

“A-a-ah!” you cry out. Your hips involuntarily begin to inch away from him, but Wonwoo pulls you back with one strong hand, tutting. 

“Don’t do that,” he mutters, pouting. “You need to be touched, remember?” 

The whole thing is so heart-achingly intimate. The way he stands, still fully clothed and with a huge fucking tent in his pants, simply rubbing your pussy and looking at you with heart-eyes. Seriously, eyes swimming with adoration for you, teasing words slipping from his mouth unable to mask the genuine wonder he feels, at how you gasp and you arch and you clean and you jerk from the simplest of his movements. And your pussy is so warm and wet under his hand, and his body between your legs is so warm, and you cum again from just that; from how much love he looks at you with, and from the fingers crooking to pinch your clit again, wet and swollen underneath his glistening fingertips. 

“W-Wonwoo!” you cry out, cumming again, and your body convulses around his, when it oozes out of your hole. Wonwoo’s fingers gently work you through it. His gaze on you is so intent, so careful and insistent, you can’t bear it, the way he sees you totally lost in the pleasure he brings you. 

“There you go,” he whispers gently, fingers letting up and disappearing from your pulsating pussy. 

“Wonwoo,” you mewl tiredly, pushing yourself onto your elbows to look up at him. He looks at you, so sweetly, so attentively, hands immediately finding your back to stabilize you. “Can I please have your cock now?” 

“We don’t have to-” 

“I want to!” you interrupt him, brows furrowed and lips in a pout. Wonwoo grins at that and though he may deny it, you don’t miss the red that twinges his cheeks. 

“It’s just if you were too tired..-” 

“I’m not,” you say decidedly, and Wonwoo nods. 

“Okay. C’mere then.” 

You’re confused when Wonwoo sits back down in the office chair, fingers working his slacks open. He doesn’t answer to your grimace though, only manages his pants unzipped and in one lift of his hips, peel both them and his boxers down. 

His cock springs free, and your confused grimace is replaced with one of awe. It’s pale and veiny, the head is red and thin, white liquid oozes from it, like melted candle wax. And it’s huge.

You’re too slow to mask your amazement, it seems, because when your eyes return to his face, he’s already looking at you, smiling smugly. 

“Come ride me, baby.” 

You don’t need to be told twice. You slide off the table eagerly, lumbering over to where he’s relaxed against the back of the chair. He looks up at you, all naked and pretty, with a grin. 

The top buttons of his dress shirt are unbuttoned, but he must’ve given up halfway. Either way, the milky plates of his chest are exposed, shining gloriously in the warm office light, and he discards his glasses, face fully exposed to you. He’s beautiful, and you think to tell him.

“You’re beautiful,” you whisper, planting each leg around his, so you’re straddling him. Like your ritual, Wonwoo grips your middle and pulls you closer, but this time it’s even closer than normal. Your stomach meets his dick, all heavy and hot on your skin, and your breath hitches at the sensation. 

“You’re beautiful,” he teases, looking up at you. You smile. 

“Can I put it in?” you ask. 

“As if the answer was ever gonna be no?” 

You snort out a laugh, raising yourself by your thighs and gripping the base of his dick to steer him inside. He hisses at the feeling of your hand grappling with his impressive size, and he hisses once more when the head of his cock buries into your heat. 

His hands on your waist anchor himself while you slowly sink down, until he’s so fully sheathed in you, you think the tip of his cock must be brushing your heart, because it feels like it’s swinging in your chest. 

“You’re so big,” you whimper, clutching his broad shoulders, and scrunching the fabric on top of them. 

“Don’t say shit like that, I’m gonna cum, babe,” he grits out, fingers bruising your waist. You mewl, clutching his shirt. Then you begin to bounce. 

Your thighs flex on either side of him as you heave up and down his cock, the both of you gasping into each other, and clutching each other for stability. 

“Shit,” he pants out, genuinely out of breath. “Fuck, you’re the loveliest girl in the world.”

You cry out, pressure already welling in your stomach and burying yourself in his neck like you’ve always done, and it’s so intimate and he’s warm, and, fuck, he wants you. You can feel it in his grip, in his cock, in his words; he wants you more than anything. The thought makes you wanna cum. 

Wonwoo is not quiet at all. He grunts and whines and his words are strangled and garbled, but frequent, showering you in affection and praise, while you bounce eagerly on his huge cock. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” 

“Your tits are so perfect, shit.”

“Pretty girl.” 

“Loveliest, prettiest, sweetest girl, bouncing on my cock, fuck.”

Praises spill from his lips in purrs, one after another, and when you cum you can’t help but return it tenfold. 

“Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonnie, fuck! Gonna- fucking cum, I think I’m- f-falling in love with you”

You and Wonwoo come alive. Cum spurts from his cock and into your pussy, and you both cry out, entangled and completing one another in the space where you meet. 

And it’s true, falling in love with him is so easy. And falling in love with you is easy too, you realize, because the second he’s spilled his cum in you, he pulls you from his neck to kiss you so deeply, so thoroughly, you think your lips might never unpuff from his hasty, bitten kisses. 

His cock, now soft, still inside you, his warm chest against yours, his nose nudging yours, his eyelashes fluttering against your skin, the kiss is totally perfect, and you’re warm, and the windows are all closed and fogged up and there’s no curse other than the most fatal and most perfectly tantalizing of them all: love. 

You are not alone. You’re sitting in his lap and you think if you give it a day or two more, you might want to spend the rest of your life with him. 

You catch your breaths. 

“You’re really good at that,” you say finally. He grins again, perfectly undone, hair tousled and cheeks flushed. “Yeah?” he asks. You hum. 

After some minutes of keeping him inside you, kissing lazily, running your hands over his pretty chest and arms, you pull back, beginning to flex your legs to pull him out of you. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, hands wafting to still your movements. You furrow your brows, confused. 

“Am getting your dick out of me?” 

His hands sink down on your hips heavily, fully encompassing his dick again. You sigh at the feeling. 

“Don’t do that, silly. You’re touch-starved, remember?” 

He tilts his head teasingly. 

“So why don’t you just sit snug on my cock, so you can get all the closeness you need?”

[ghostarii]

CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU ! ～ JING YUAN . ❛ i want your bliss on bliss; a little company!

˖ ⁺ ⫾  CONTENT WARNING fem!reader ❱ golf dad!jing yuan ❱ dilf!jing yuan ❱ groping ❱ praise ❱ breeding kink ❱ size kink ❱ perv!jing yuan ❱ PWP!!!!! ❱ age gap ❱ cunnilingus ❱ multiple orgasms ❱ pussy drunk!jing yuan ❱ locker room sex ❱ jy’s kinda gross ❱ coercion ❱ creampie & unprotected sex (pls stay safe) ❱ pet names (mostly pretty [girl] & little one ❱ dubious consent ❱ dirty talk ❱ not proofread in the slightest ❱ minors and dc antis do not interact.

˖ ⁺ ⫾  TIP i’ve had this idea floating around in my wee wittle brain for quite some time so here’s perv golf dilf jing yuan ! ! i didnt rlly have a plot for this nor an idea on how to execute the vibe in my mind so truly i apologize if this is not that good :’( this got way messier than intended n i took forever writing it cause i kept getting stuck. i rlly rushed this toward the end cause i rlly wanted to post it so i rlly hope u guys like it 😿 rbs n feedback is always greatly appreciated <33 (pls don’t report i worked rlly hard on this n comm guidelines r so mean)

˖ ⁺ ⫾  GB 7.2k+ words .

JING YUAN CAN’T help it. He doesn't know what drives him to do it; to stare at you until holes are burned in you or touch you carelessly or talk about you like you're a piece of meat, he can't help it. It's akin to a primal urge, or manly instinct that makes him defile you disgustingly and unapologetically—and it makes him feel like a gross teen boy whose dick grows hard at the simple mention of women, but it's something about this aura of naivety and peace that swarms you that brings this carnal desire out of him. You’re the perfect prey, helpless, unsuspecting, and trusting of the ill-intended, hungry predator. Everything makes his heart flutter and his stomach gnarl—he turns into a different man because of you.

Friendly, neighborhood, retired Army General and current Xianzhou Police Chief Jing Yuan was a mask to cover perverse, snobby, and icky pervert Jing Yuan; the one who got a kick at making you do silly tasks so he can stare up your skirt and who always told you to take a seat so he can press up on you and grope you indistinctly. He sees you and immediately a deviant fire is kindled in his chest, his cheeks heat up and his skin runs cold. It's nasty, but he can't help it.

He needs you selfishly. He can't stand to watch you talk to other men and tend to their needs—sure, it's your job to pour them lemonade and escort them to the spa and guide them around the country club for a look at all the activities, and he respects that you're a hard and diligent worker, but seeing you with other men boils his blood. It's as if the lines between reality and his fucked up fantasy world have blurred, and you belong to him, you're his woman and he stakes his claim on you like a wild animal. Jing Yuan likes how you don't question how he suddenly needs your assistance, and that it's impossible for anyone but you to do it, because it lets these other men know that you respond to him. He's never felt this way about a woman before, not even the mother of his own child, so it means you're special. You mean much deeper to him than you could ever understand and all he wants is your company and to love you down into the cage of his heart.

It's not a crime to have a crush. It's not a crime to be in love with a woman you barely know. And it's not a crime to imagine her stuffed with your kids after watching her interact with yours. A crime? No. Weird? Maybe; but Jing Yuan does it anyway.

On the occasion when he brings Yanqing to the club, he gets on his best behavior. They play friendly games of golf and lounge about in the garden area, and eat up a storm in the illustrious dining hall—normal father-and-son things. Nothing out of the ordinary, people wouldn't even know that all Jing Yuan could think about was you and how sweet your pussy must taste as he eats ice cream with his son. He stays on his best outward behavior, truly—you wouldn't have even known he was in the bathroom jerking off because something about you today set him off.

He walks into the dining hall, looking around to see you. Yanqing had run off to the pool ages ago, so Jing Yuan had some time to himself…or, rather, time for you and him. He thought about how he would take you and claim you for far too long now. He thinks about it too much, actually. And that’s insane; considering the fact that you only started working at Stargazer Navalia Country Club two months ago.

He goes to his usual spot: against the wall on the northeastern side of the hall. It's slightly tucked away, the ceiling lights on that side are dim and the roaming eyes of others are limited. It's perfect for him when he touches you and even more perfect to convince you to have a seat and chat with him. You always listen, always fall for his lonely old man act, even though you've seen him with his snob friends Luocha and Dan Feng, and he's more than well-known around the community—he’s far from lonely, but his lips utter such pitiful deception that you can't help but spare him some of your company.

Jing Yuan has been doing this for a few weeks. He’ll invite you over for a refill of the house's special lemonade, sipping the juice as soon as you finish pouring, letting his lips smack obnoxiously, his tongue running across his top lip, and muttering out an “Ahh, so sweet…”, keeping eye-contact with you. His plump, rosy lips will break into a smile at your widened eyes and flustered expression, and that's when he asks you to stay. “Wouldn’t you give me a moment of your time? C’mon…call it…customer service.”

Usually, he’ll sit across from you and ask about your day. He’ll listen to your short spiels about your coworkers or your university and even your extremely personal information about your family and friends. It's cute how you open up with abandon, and he likes how apologetic you get when you feel like you’ve spoken too much. He’ll reach across the table and tap your pouted lips, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Keep going,” and he stares at your lips as you talk his ear off. But today—today, Jing Yuan is pushing the limits.

He invited you over, and instead of you sitting across from him, he pulls the chair next to him. Your proximity is close, no closer than ever before, but close enough that you feel like he can hear your heartbeat. He drapes a buff arm around the back of your chair, the pads of his fingers just barely ghosting over your biceps. He takes a deep breath, presumably to settle into his seat but actually to breathe you in. You smell sweet. He wonders if you taste sweet.

“How was your day?” the man starts. It's okay, it's fine, it’s just Jing Yuan—he’s fine! You nod your head, “Okay…not too eventful but um…kind of busy.” He immediately replies “Yeah? Tell me about it.”

Your shift started at eleven o'clock this morning, and you clocked in slightly late earning your managers, Ms. Yukong, mouthful of scolding. “Again? This is the third time in a row…” She was a strict woman. Yukong was adamant about running an establishment—not a job. In her mind, there's a distinct difference, a fine line that separates Stargazer Navalia Country Club from other leisure resorts, and that line was drawn by poise, professionalism, and punctuation—the three Ps. You essentially lacked all of that. You’re always late, and if you’re not late, you’re just barely making it, you run around a lot and don't collect yourself. Oftentimes, you take on too much than you can handle and overwhelm yourself, making a fool of yourself before the very opinionated eyes of the patrons. And you were clumsy. The country club was your first service job and your first job ever. You wouldn't have gotten the job if your parents didn’t force independence upon you and you complained to your friend, Tingyun, about your unfair predicament, and she promised to put in a good word for you to her boss. That good word was a basket full of fabrications and exaggerations. Yukong told you that you were fortunate to be allowed to work at the club, but it was hanging in the balance if you didn’t step up your game.

Jing Yuan hadn’t expected a full rant, but he was glad that you felt like you could talk to him. He wants to hold you, tell you that Yukong is a miserable bitch and she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. You can't do any wrong—that woman wouldn’t know poise, professionalism, and punctuation if it slapped her across the face, so who was she to criticize perfection?

He gets even more upset when your chest starts to heave and you’re blinking back tears, explaining how you cried after leaving Yukong’s office and felt so useless and stupid. And you made it your mission today to do your best. No overworking, no clumsiness, and no more strikes earned. Your head was on a dart board, and Yukong was aiming at the bullseye.

You told him you just wanted to be good. To be worth something because you aren't incompetent. If only you knew how he saw you.

Tears run down your warm cheeks and your frowned lips curve into a sad smile, a laugh escaping as you pat away tears from your eyes. “Sorry, I don’t mean to cry…”

“…I should be getting back to work…” You move to get up but Jing Yuan stops you, his big hand on your thigh. This isn't new, but your eyes meet and you almost burst into tears again. Your lips frown up again and quiver and your eyes gloss over—oh, you poor thing. He squeezes your thigh as if to tell you you’re okay, but when that doesn't seem to stop the tidal wave of tears from beating at the barrier of your blinking eyelids, he pulls you in.

It's a hug. You've hugged people before. You do it all the time. Even to him—you’ve hugged Jing Yuan before, but this? This is different. He cradles the back of your head as you rest your cheek on his shoulder and he kisses your hair softly. He’s warm, like the summer heat, and your body feels like it’s on fire. His fingers stroke at your hair as if he was trying to soothe your feelings, and it works, you sniffle and softly whimper, curling your fingers against his thighs. He's taking care of you and if only you could understand what you’re doing to him. His cock is slowly growing stiffer and heat lights beneath his skin as it does yours. You feel so weak and small in his hold and God, is it doing something to him. Your breathing brushes your tits against his side and he wants to feel them pressed against his chest as he pounds into you. Your sniffles and tears that form small puddles on his shirt make him think about how you would cry from overstimulation and his big cock stretching you out.

He needs to get a grip. To stop his gross thoughts but it's no use when your entire existence is an aphrodisiac to him. It was a short hug, no longer than a minute, but it felt like it lasted a lifetime. When you pull away, Jing Yuan can't look at you. He can't look at your flushed cheeks, glossy eyes, clumped lashes, and pouted lips—he can’t look because he won’t be able to contain himself. You clear your throat and sit up, wiping your eyes and smudging your cheap mascara. He’s slightly upset that you’re leaving already, so before you go, he pinches the hem of your shirt, pulling you back.

“It's gonna be okay, little one. Have a good day.” He pats your head and smiles at you. You get flustered and quickly nod, running off as if to disappear.

You find it hard to have a good day when you’re wrapped up in your head, thinking about Yukong, yourself, and Mr. Jing Yuan. He was a nice man, sometimes too nice and you were unsure if that was a negative or a positive.

His touches feel like they’re burned into your skin. When you think about his tight, warm, and world-erasing hug, your skin tingles and births goosebumps to the surface. When you think about his deep, reverberating voice praising you and denying the existence of imperfection in you, you run hot. It’s a dangerous juxtaposition that left you an unfocused mess, productivity being the last thing of your concern. How bothered your body felt was in big bold letters in your brain, and it was hard to not prove Yukong’s harsh words about you right. You needed to get it together, but it was hard when Jing Yuan lingered in your mind like a deadly plague.

You catch Tingyun up during your dishes duty, scrubbing the dirtied plates, bowls, spoons, and forks and passing them to the girl to be dried. She laughs at you, shaking her head as she spins her hand around the inside of the porcelain bowl. “Can I be honest with you?” You nod at Tingyun’s question, “his intentions are less than pure. He’s nice and all but I think you should create boundaries. I don't like how every time you tell me about him he's grabbing on you and stuff…”

You have an issue with seeing the best in people. You can’t see anybody as evil—their actions don’t define their character in your mind and that's a fatal flaw. You shake your head at Tingyun’s words, smiling, “I don’t agree. He’s just…I don’t know.” you shut the water off, and set down the plate in your hand. “I think he’s just lonely—”

“—He has friends. His golfing buds…?” She points out. You sigh and shake your head. “Yeah, but they don't come to the club often.”

Tingyun rolls her eyes. “Can you be for real? What company can you provide to a man who’s nearly double your age?”

On that front, Tingyun had a point. You’re still in college, barely coasting your way through your third year and Jing Yuan is in his mid-to-late thirties, pushing forty. He was a dad and you were a student. He lived his life—he’s on his second career, and you’ve only just barely begun working your first job. You never knew what to talk to him about and you never understood what he talked about. There was a disconnect, but you felt like that didn't impede the slight friendship you had. “He just needs someone to talk to!”

“Didn't know talking included his hands on your ass but okay.” Her snide remark makes you frown. He wasn’t all that bad. Tingyun didn't get it.

Her eyes immediately meet yours and she softens. “Sorry.” You nod to her apology, cutting the tap back on and resuming your work. You didn't like to be judgemental and you wanted to give Jing Yuan the benefit of the doubt. He wasn’t all that bad and you liked him—for the most part. She pats your shoulder softly. She does mean well. “Just be safe, okay?”

“You never know what’s going on in someone's head.”

It’s so hot. The weather forecast called for unbearable heat and ungodly levels of humidity. The sun was angry at the world, shining down harshly and roasting your skin. Surprisingly, the club had seen the most members today. It was filled to the brim, bustling and condensing heat at every corner that you couldn’t escape.

Your uniform was dripping in sweat and it was sticking to your skin. Your hair, pulled away from your face, felt like it was dripping onto your shoulders. You were hot. And luckily for you, Qingque had taken off from work today due to the heat, leaving her shift open. You swooped in and took the role, slipping off your uniform when the clock hit 2:30 and sliding into the lifeguard swimsuit. It was tight fitting but comfortable and paired with the visor blocking the mean sun from your face, you felt fine.

Lathering a security layer of sunscreen onto your skin, you make your way to the pool, reciting Yukong’s words in your head. You had met with her at the beginning of your shift where she told you this was your last chance. Lifeguarding wasn’t some fun easy-money task. Screwing around the way you usually do could be at the cost of someone’s life and she wouldn’t put anyone at risk. At all. So you go with your head up and a warm smile, climbing up and sitting down with a hawk eye on the pool.

The water was clear blue and rippling. Bare flesh and bright swimsuits are blurred and hazy under the surface of the water. It’s a nostalgic scene, sweet chatter and giggles from the playing children, splashing water, and pattering wet feet on the hot pavement work together to induce peace upon you. This is a scene you could get used to, especially when Jing Yuan emerges from the water.

He looks divine. His upper body is exposed, large muscles flexed as he lifts his body weight from beneath the water, resting on the edge of the pool. His water-darkened hair slumps heavily in his ponytail, flipping over as he shakes his head, ridding of the water. And the water spills down his skin deliciously, thick droplets pathing down his body. It’s a sight to behold and you can't help but stare.

Jing Yuan wonders if this is how you feel. Ogled and objectified down to the bone. Your shade-hidden eyes bore into him when they should be watching the children. But he likes it. He feels like today is going to be a good day.

He comes to the pool often, usually just watching Yanqing show him his “tricks”, but he notices the order. The lifeguards cycle every forty-five minutes. He noticed it the first time when one of them took off immediately after jumping in after a panicking Yanqing, but today it was going to come to his aid. Today was the day. He’d waited too long, thought about it too hard…Jing Yuan’s fantasy world was going to pour into reality. That in itself was a terrible horror.

He waits patiently for forty-five minutes. Splashing water with his son occasionally, stepping out of the pool for a rest, or waving at you as he floats atop the water. Forty-five minutes. Tick tock.

He stops you on your way inside. His towel was thrown over his shoulder and his wet hair slung up into his fixed ponytail. You’re so enthralled by his state that you aren't taking into consideration the lazily fabricated lie that he needed your urgent attention to. You were no dummy. Jing Yuan is an overly attractive man, but he was out of your league and the father to a boy only seven years younger than you. Your lives were incompatible and frankly, he wasn't what you were looking for. Attractive? Yes. Boyfriend material? Not so much.

Regardless, you follow him to the locker room to look for his supposed missing watch. You ask him where his locker is located and he points around the corner, “125D.” His locker is tucked off around the corner, deep in the row and far from anyone’s initial line of sight. You see his golf bag resting against the wall and Yanqing’s goggles on the bench and make your way to it, “Where did you last have the watch?”

This was way out of your jurisdiction, and, besides, he was the police chief—what the hell could you do to help him find a missing watch? Nonetheless, you listen intently as he provides the details: he took it off to go swimming, placed it on the shelf in the locker, and came back to find it missing. You nod slowly, diligently looking through the slim locker. There’s not much in it and not much space a watch could slip through, so you’re confused. It's clearly not here. “I don't think I can be much help for you, you’re better off checking with whoever was in here last.”

And then his body is close to you. Your proximity thickens with the chlorine and sandalwood scent he carries, and his broad form towers over you. Your breath hitches and your body tenses as a large hand lays against the back of your thigh, running up your bare skin until it meets the curve of your ass. He doesn't say anything. Neither do you. You feel like you’re frozen, stuck beneath him, and that only urges him further.

His other arm wraps around your waist and he pulls you in, resting his chin on your shoulder and breathing you in with a deep breath. You can feel his exhale on your neck and you shudder, pushing away to create distance. Jing Yuan only tightens his big grip on you, “I want you…” he murmurs, leaning into your neck. His lips ghost over your skin and you squirm, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. This can't be happening. Not here. Not now.

You try to tell him that but it's futile. He presses his slightly chapped lips against your neck in fluttery kisses, wrapping his lips around nips of skin every now and then and leading a path to your collarbone. He steals a look at you from the side, “Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop.”

He now frames your body beneath his, pressing you against the cold lockers. You wince at the harshness of how he handles you—how his hands incessantly run up and down your body and gropes your assets and how he grinds his dick against your ass. He breathes heavily against you, grunting and growling in your ear as he edges himself closer and closer to the brink of losing control.

You try to speak up. To tell him you can't do this and that here is not the place. But you part your lips to object, only for a whimper to escape in its place. You’re shaking your head no but it opposes the sounds that leave you and the subconscious grind back of your hips. Jing Yuan uses his right hand to cup your pussy with a hardened gaze watching your reaction: your eyes widen and then squeeze shut, and you roll your lips inward, pressing them shut. He feels a slight throb when he presses his fingers against your sex, and the heat that radiates from you is all telling. “Stop fighting it…don’t deny it…you need me to take care of you.”

Kisses on your neck resume as he rubs your clothed clit, using the way your knees buckle as leverage to slightly bend your over, grinding into you rougher. “Can't you feel how hard you make me, baby? Fuck,” he whispers, his grinding now turning into desperate rutting. “Indulge me, just a little…say yes…”

You’re shaking your head no, fighting his words. You think that if you close your eyes hard enough you’ll wake up in the real world and this will have all just been in your head. The sight of the lockers in front of you dispels that thought instantly. You fight against your own body, swallowing down the sounds of pleasure that rumble in you at his touch. You promised Yukong you would do a better job. You liked working here. If she found out you had sex with a customer during work hours in the public locker room, she’d have your head on stake. But God, he knew what he was doing. It’s like Jing Yuan knows how to get into your head. All of his innuendos day in and day out, his flirtatious banter, and his wandering eyes the past few months have been test runs on you that he’s conducted for his fucked up memory log. So he could prepare for this moment. So he knew how to make you weak and make you succumb to his advances. You were a nice girl with a hard time saying no. You always indulged his requests and always did what was told to you. His constant “Say yes, baby. Say it. You know you want this,” in your ear was persuasive enough for your weak resolve. Soon enough, you’re quietly parroting his words.

“Y-yes…I…I want it,” you huff out, and he stops.

Jing Yuan lets you go—pulling off of you and spinning you around. Then, he’s swiftly pushing you against the lockers, caging you in with his big arms on either side of you. His golden eyes are richer, darkened with fantasy and lust as they bore into yours. His rosy lips curve into a sinister smirk, “Look me in my eyes and say you want me to fuck you.”

Your eyes meet, locking with each other softly. You’re telling yourself in your head that you can say no, but your mouth moves first, “I want you…to…” you grow shy at the words, and Jing Yuan smiles at you. He steps closer, grabbing your chin softly and your waist with his free hand, pulling you in. “Sweet girl…” he mumbles, brushing his lips against yours and bumping your noses.

Your kiss is sweet. It's the type of fairytale kiss, the type of wonderful kiss that whips the air out of you and has fireworks blowing in your pretty little head. Your lips mold and work together, and he takes his time getting acquainted with your mouth. He waits until you part your lips on your own to invade your mouth, and even then, he tenderly explores the cavern. He kisses you with dominance and experience. He kisses you with passion and desire. He kisses you like he’s in love with you.

You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him into you, chasing his kiss as if he was trying to leave you. It begins to heat up. Impatience grows like mold between the two of you, you begin to want and need each other more. His hand gripping your chin wraps briefly around your neck to pull you closer, and his hand around your waist moves to your ass, cupping a cheek in his palm and roughly squeezing. He sucks on your tongue, moaning deeply into your mouth. Teeth start to clash and tongues start to bump and spin, spit dribbling out of your mouths. He bites onto your bottom lip as he pulls away, and then catches the drool running down your face with his tongue, running back up on its path to your mouth. With your saliva on his tongue, he kisses you harshly one last time—a kiss that makes you lean your head against the lockers behind you, giving him access to the expanse of your neck.

He admires the hickeys he already left, kissing them tenderly before leaving a few more. His teeth drag on your neck, and he's pulling the straps of your swimsuit down your arms. It's agonizingly slow and you look away, not able to face him as he unveils your body to him.

It's like a dream. Even better than. All of his fantasies and perverted thoughts haven't done any justice to how you look—the most perfect, pretty boobs with hard nipples that are begging to be played with, the most gorgeous frame that pops even more without your clothes, your dips and curves begging to be filled by his grip, and your pretty pussy, which he takes his time getting to and unveiling. He gets on his knees, kisses your soft thighs, and slowly pulls your swimsuit down to your ankles. You try to hide, feeling vulnerable and anxious in your fully naked state but he pulls your legs apart, kissing the inside of your thigh. “You’re beautiful…”

“Prettiest thing I've ever seen…” he says, trailing up your legs. He doesn't give you time to fall into your mind. He exhales deeply, letting the air from his nose blow against your pussy. You squirm but he pulls your legs apart again, looking up at you as he places a chaste kiss on your slit.

You’re already wet, susceptible to his touch, and fragile. You slightly leak past your labia and his lips shine in your slick. Eye contact remains as he licks your arousal off his lips, swallowing your taste with a satisfied hum. “So sweet, too. Better than I ever imagined.”

Something about his admission flusters you. You knew he enjoyed your company, but you didn't know he put thought into you this way. It flatters you, to say the least, and your body responds in a very telling way: your clit throbbing and hole clenching in need.

Jing Yuan smiles at how you can't hold eye contact with him and how you look down at him with urging eyes. Your body gives him the okay your mouth fails to do, and he dives in, wedging his tongue between your folds to lick a thick stripe. You gasp loudly and slam your palm against the locker behind you, seemingly caught off guard by his action. And then he does it again. This time, making his way to your clit slowly, only to circle around the bud but not pay it any attention. And again, this time only lightly flicking your clit with his tongue and ghosting over it but ultimately focusing on collecting your sweet juices, slurping it down with an obnoxious volume.

Your position is fixed—you’re stuck. Your legs are draped over his shoulders as you basically sit on his face, and he holds you tightly by your soft thighs. Your gaze is filed unto each other, unmoving, and he watches with glee at how you react when he finally gives your clit attention. He wraps his lips around the bud, sucking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. You practically burst into tears. You moan out, immediately threading your fingers in his white locks. “Oh, fuck,”

He abuses your clit until your voice goes hoarse. He doesn't care that people could probably hear you. He wants them to. He wants them to hear his name flow from your mouth like syrup out of a maple tree—thick in lust and fatally sweet. Your moans sound even prettier in reality. Jing Yuan has come to the conclusion that you are one of a kind. No wild or active imagination could do you justice. He could eat you out for days—you’re just so sweet and so easy to please. Your clit getting sucked on sets you off and when he runs his thick tongue through your sloppy folds to collect your stream of arousal, you whine even louder, competing with his slurping and licking noises.

“I want you to cum on my tongue, pretty girl,” he says, pulling away from your folds. “Wanna taste all of you,” and he presses a kiss to your clit. You suck your bottom lip between your teeth, nodding rapidly, “Please! Wanna cum so bad…”

He’s determined now. Like a man starved, he practically feasts on you. His tongue is everywhere—licking and swirling from every direction and it drives you insane. You can feel the burning tension in your gut churn and to egg its release out of you, you toy with your nipples, resting your head against the lockers as ecstasy overcomes you. You whine and whimper out meek little “Yes!”’s and “Oh, God!”’s like those are the only words you know, feeling your orgasm so close that it heats your skin to the touch.

Your back arches and eyes blow wide, your body fighting against itself. You trap his head between your thighs but push his head away, damn near screaming at the top of your lungs that it's too much and you can't take it. This pushes Jing Yuan to do more, to tighten his hold on your thighs and suffocate himself in your pussy. Knock the tip of his nose against your puffy clit and probe your clenching hole with his tongue. His jaw hurts but he keeps it up well, humming and moaning endlessly to send warm vibrations through your skin. His name breaks off of your tongue so weakly and your head feels light. It's like something in you snaps, like all composure and decency melts off of you in an instant. You could care less about Yukong or anybody else for that matter. This entire room could cease to exist and it wouldn't matter because Jing Yuan has blasted you off to cloud nine. The feeling of his tongue swimming through your folds is pleasure in its purest form and it pushes you to the deep end, drowning you in overwhelming ecstasy.

The grip you have on his hair tightens and you pull the long locks as if it’d stabilize you from the wreckage your pending orgasm was bringing upon you. A silent moan falls from your lips, followed by an airy plea, “J-Jing Yuan, please..!” Your voice falters and falls into another broken moan. Your back arches yet again and your hips buck into his face, and there it is. That tight band in your stomach snaps and your orgasm wracks through you roughly. Your thighs shake and your chest heaves heavily—you feel like you can't breathe. And he doesn't let up, wrapping his lips around your sensitive clit for the harshest suck of the night, humming happily as you squirm and spasm in his hold.

You come undone, dripping down his face like a rushing waterfall. He cleans you up with his tongue, continuing to help you come down from your high even as you whimper and sniffle from overstimulation. With peppery kisses, he pulls away from your pussy, licking his lips clean and rolling his eyes at your taste. “You did so good for me, baby.”

A carnal glint shines in his eye as he takes your waist in his hands, pulling you into him for a kiss. Your lips connect with fervor. He immediately establishes dominance, invading your mouth with hunger and greed. Your teeth clash and knock and your tongue is bullied by his. Your taste on his mouth is strong and it's hard to ignore it, and on him, it tastes wonderful. Your legs are jelly, useless. He holds you up with his hands but ultimately decides to press you against the lockers once again, grinding his painfully aching hard-on onto your thigh. No. This can't happen. The longer you're in the locker room with him, the more risk that's run. People are going to start leaving the club soon, and you don't know what you’d do if they caught you like this.

You try to push him away but he only presses into you more, rutting against you more desperately and aggressively. You gave him an inch, and now he's going to take a mile.

He growls against your lips before pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “Gotta have you, baby,” he starts, pulling down his swim trunks. His hard cock jumps out, leaking and hard and so thick it makes your eyes bulge out of your head. You can't do this. You open your mouth to protest but he just kisses you again, shutting you down instantly. He takes your hand in his, bringing it down to his dick, and forces you to hold his girth in your hand. He's heavy and hard. Two prominent veins bulge and throb and his angry tip spills milky beads of precum into a pool in his slit. He makes you jerk him off, groaning into your mouth deeply, “Fuck. Need you so bad, little one. Need your sweet little pussy wrapped around me, need to feel you, to fill you—oh, fuck. Let me? Give me that, please.”

He practically begs you. He ruts into your hand and speaks into your mouth like a bitch in heat—you’re finding it hard to deny him. And he keeps begging. Keeps nipping at your lips and swiping your jaw now and then with his tongue. He's desperate. And you feel like you have no choice. “…Okay.”

Jing Yuan doesn't notice the uncertainty in your tone. He nearly jumps for joy, kissing you so passionately and hooking his hands on your ass, hoisting you up into the air. You squeal and he laughs, kissing you again as he properly positions his tip at your entrance. “Been thinking about this since I first laid eyes on you,”

As he starts talking, he slowly slides you down on his length. You gasp and wince—he’s so fucking big. Your nails immediately dig into his shoulders and you try to brace yourself, but good God, it’s like he’s splitting your body into two. He slowly sinks in, kissing your cheeks and mumbling praises that don't do much to ease the burn of the stretch. You almost want to stop, but he's like a brick wall. Impossible to get through.

“You’re so tight…” He feels like he’s breaking you in. Like you’re untouched and not prepared to take him and it sets him off. Your whimpers are sweet and the way you hug him like you're scared to let go ignites that all-too-familiar carnal flame. He wants to ravage you. It takes a few moments but he finally bottoms out with a deep groan. “So tight…so wet…fuck, it's like you’re made for me.” He does an experimental thrust and his heart swells at how you moan into his ear and clench around him tighter. “Taking me so well,”

This starts a rhythm of slow thrusts, the two of your bodies getting to know each other. Jing Yuan is so big and he feels even bigger inside of you. Your cunt feels like it's being reformed in its shape, stretching around him widely to accommodate every bit of him. And your pussy around him was so worth the wait. Your gummy walls welcome him with a tight, warm hug, and you leak down his length unabashedly. The combination of your arousal and his slow thrusts get you two acquainted quickly, and he steadily starts to pick up the pace.

Jing Yuan has shortly found his rhythm. He thrusts up into you while simultaneously maneuvering your hips down and you’ve never felt anything like this before. He pounds you. Hard. Rough. And slowly gains speed. His heavy balls slap at your ass and your puffy clit kisses his pelvis and it all makes you weak. You bury your head into his neck and pull him closer to you, feeling enveloped in his strong hold. How he's easily able to hold you up and fuck you the way is he makes your stomach churn and knot. There's a rhythmic slapping that coordinates with his grunts and your cries and it's so loud and lewd, you’re sure the whole country club knows what you're doing. But it doesn't bother you. Because yet again, Jing Yuan works your body like an expert, plunging into your depths so well that you can't do anything but clench and drip around him like a broken faucet.

His hands are on your ass, squeezing and slapping your cheeks to make you squeal out, practically yelling his name for the masses. It all feels too good. He knows what he's doing—how to angle his hips and find your G-spot almost instantly and abuse it until you feel like your brain has melted into mush, how to mix the pain of his calloused hands slapping your ass sweetly with the pleasure he bestows upon you, how to sweet-talk into your ear and flatter you so well that butterflies are born in your tummy and your hole clenches even tighter around him. He's experienced. He's taking your body on a trip it's sure to never forget and never replicate, and you wish you knew how he did it, because he’s only been thrusting into you for a few minutes and you feel like you're about to explode.

He's now pounding into you more furiously, and you chalk that up to his orgasm approaching him as well. “I'm gonna cum again—!” you announce, voice low in a broken whisper. His thrusts get sloppy and he grunts to concur, “Me too—look at me,”

Your eyes meet and this might be the rawest moment you've ever had with Jing Yuan. There's nothing but passion and adoration in his golden eyes as he looks at you. And as he kisses you for the nth time this evening, it's soft. Kind. A complete one-eighty from how desperately and angrily he bullies his thick cock into your drooling cunt. “Cum with me.” It's more of a demand than a request, but you nod in understanding anyway. You want to feel him throb and empty out his balls inside you. You want to hear his voice crack and break as he moans out your praises. You want to feel him give it to you until he can't anymore.

He snaps his hips into you, hard and one at a time. He goes as deep as possible, making your eyes blow wide and spill tears. He's so deep in your stomach it's almost like he pops the bubble of your orgasm himself, and you're spilling all over him in a matter of seconds. It was unexpected and you drawl out a whiny moan, grinding your hips back onto him subconsciously. Your orgasm makes him follow suit, and soon enough, you're filled to the brim with his semen. Warm ropes mix nastily with your own release and it drips out of your hole as he continues to thrust through your orgasms.

“Oh shit…’s good, little one.” He kisses your cheek and carries you to the bench, laying you down. “One more for me, ‘kay?”

Your mind is lagging behind. You didn't even catch his statement until he was sliding into you again, pressing your hands against your stomach to feel him inside of you. “So deep…”

“Yeah? Feels good, doesn't it?” He wastes no time, not sparing a second to waste. You're still so sensitive, and so is he, and everything is so sloppy. So messy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when he finds your sweet spot again, and fuck, it feels so good. “‘M not gonna last…”

Jing Yuan basically crushes you against the hard bench, closing the proximity between you two and harboring the flame between your chests. His head in the crook of your neck shakes, “Me neither. Want you to keep it all in.” His pathetic rutting elicits the wettest sounds from your pussy, and the empty locker room echoes it around with bass. He runs on and on about stuffing you full, fucking his kids into you and you don't know what at what point that started to sound good to you. Your belly rumbled in that all-too-familiar wait, your orgasm wasted no time in building.

Your eyes start to tear even harder and white blotches soon cover your whole line of sight—but not before Jing Yuan stills inside of you, dumping his second load inside of you with a guttural groan and clench of his abdomen. He rubs rough circles on your clit, murmuring about how you can do it until you clench around him, squirming beneath him as your orgasm hits you again. He doesn't pull out. He keeps you plugged up with his cock, forbidding his cum from leaving you. You didn't expect this to happen. Ever. But Jing Yuan? He always knew. It was just a matter of when.

So when your sight returns and you open your eyes to see him leaning over you, you smile happily. It was almost like you're Cinderella and he's Prince Charming, coming to rescue you from your hellish job in the most unconventional way possible. But unconventional feels good.

He won. No matter what he had to do, he won. His fantasy came to fruition and he would rather nothing else. This moment will be forever cherished, even if the distant opening of the door sounds off, and footsteps rapidly approaching bring you back to reality. He won. And nothing, or nobody, can change that. You’re all his now.

[cyjlovebott]

academics is nothing

yeonjun short smut adgdhasdg i couldnt help myself OK

porn without plot.

warnings : degrading, yeonjun not allowing y/n to cum, sucking tits, mean-ish yeonjun, unprotected sex (use protection nasties), giving head (f recieving), idk what else to put, lmk if theres anything else!!

genre : academic rivals 

part 1 here !

---

“shit. can you hold on a little more y/n? i promise ill be fast.” my god, how could he say that? you were literally on the verge of cumming and he said that the most sexiest way possible. that made it so much more difficult for you to even hold it.

he started to lean towards you again, kissing your neck and pressing on the cute hickeys he made on your jawline with his tongue. “so pretty.” you could still hear him mumble, and pant as he jams his cock into you faster and faster everytime he lifts his hip from yours. 

earlier you two were fighting, both complaining about how both of you, the academic rivals, were chosen to be partners together on some stupid classics project. then it led to him kissing you to shut you up, then down your neck, then towards your chest, which led him no choice but to unbutton that polo and necktie you had on. which then led him to sucking your tits, to going further down, swaying your skirt downwards left and right while tugging on it. then he sucked on your pretty cunt that was glistening right infront of him, which led him to this.

ramming his cock non stop into you and hearing your moans were a melody to him. “fuck!, yeonjun!” you gripped onto his shoulder and he gave better grip by leaning downwards even more, which allowed you to feel his hot, shaky breath that was flowing around your neck, giving you goosebumps.

“my pretty slut begging to go faster hmm?” he teased, seeing how you rolled your eyes back, both in pleasure and in annoyance. “incase you didnt hear me properly,” he took one deep thrust into you which caused you to buck your hips “i said MY pretty slut. not no one elses, but mine. understood?” you clenched around him which caused his dick to twitch, knowing that you liked what he said, how ‘my pretty slut’ rolled off his tongue that prettily. 

“no one can fuck this pretty, tight hole of mine but me. okay? no one fucking else.” his voice grew to be even more shakier each thrust, deepening it each time he said a word, which matched the rhythm with his thrusts.

“im almost there baby,” he planted kisses on your forehead, your nose, your cheek, and finally, your lips. “okay y/n, you can cum now.”

you finally released that knot in your stomach that was growing and growing and you smiled when he plopped down next to you beside the big couch.

“academics is nothing.” he smiled, kissed you again and closed his eyes slowly.

when you opened your eyes, you felt a head in between your legs. but you found out who it was when you looked beside you, and how that tongue immediately plunged inside you when you looked down. 

“didn’t wanna miss my chance to study my baby more. plus, who said i was done?” he looked up at you with your mess all over his chin, licking your juice at the corner of his lips before attacking your pussy again.

a/n : here w yeonjun smut while writing 'just an extra!' might go thru a writinf block soon idk 😫

edit: WHAT THE DUCKCKSJWJDJ omg. 800?? u guys r absolutely incredible omg. look forward to more yeonjunnie 😻

[nicosraf]

You inspire me…. Any advice for writing books ?

!! I'm honored u get a little inspiration from me! That's very sweet of you.

I struggle with advice because I've only written about 5 books and published... two-ish. (An old fanfic and ABM, which as you know is basically fanfic). But I think I have some specific advice since I'm revising right now and have a lot of thoughts... Here is what works for me (!):

Outline. I know it sucks but... please try it. (Or you'll end up like GRRM).

Draft without going back to read what you wrote, or at least don't read your unfinished manuscript in full. You will want to edit it. Don't edit it. Yes it sounds bad; yes you used the same word 8 times in a paragraph by accident; yes you can see a major plot hole. Don't fix it yet, maybe write it down somewhere so you don't forget to fix it later. You need to avoid editing while drafting or you will never finish the draft. This is the biggest advice I can give anyone, especially if you haven't written your first book yet.

Give each character a strong backstory, even if it never shows up in the plot. Sounds obvious but sometimes I have to remind myself of this.

Give your characters friendships, not just romantic relationships. Include tender scenes with friends.

A lot of writing is tedious and boring. Drafting is hard, editing is hard. You have to be disciplined. But finding motivation is also hard. Don't motivate yourself using the dream of a fanbase or the dream of becoming famous. You're setting yourself up to be hurt. (Not because any of that is impossible but because achieving it in the way that you dream is virtually impossible.) Motivate yourself using something more personal, if you can.

Re-do your outline after you draft. Why? Because you probably changed things while you drafted, you probably made some stuff up on the spot, character dynamics changed, etc. A new outline is good because you can see the story you actually wrote, which is helpful for editing for plot cohesion, moving scenes, adding and removing stuff.

Your draft is going to be bad. Don't freak out. Drafts are always bad. You're going to want to analyze the hell out of it though. What did you plan, what did you write, what worked, what didnt work, what themes are on the page, what themes should you remove, what themes should you amplify.

When editing a scene isn't working, rewrite it entirely. Yes it's more work. You'll be much happier though, I promise.

The first to second revisions should be for plot and characters and pacing; these should take the longest and be the most difficult. The last third to fourth revision should be about prose. Don't focus on prose when you're trying to fix the plot.

Let characters fuck up unforgivably.

Consider your audience heavily when you edit, but don't consider them when you draft.

I've given this advice before but when it comes to plot devices/objects, you want to give each device a moment of introduction, a moment where it's recalled, and a moment of use. (Ex. A knife is introduced in chapter 1, its mentioned again casually in chapter 7, then it's used to kill someone in chapter 14.) This is mostly to give each object its own arc that feels satisfactory but ur the boss about what works best.

Kill all your characters, but not physically (unless you want to). Make them change so much that, by the end, they would barely recognize who they were at the start.

This is book advice for the type of books that I've written. Things are very different if you're writing, say, contemporary romance, but I think this list is pretty general !! I hope it helps. Good luck!!

[insidejizz]

ROBOTUS alpha-beta headcanons

first writing post is gonna be some general headcanons for everyones favorite robot =) feel free to request any other characters , or anything at all 

// he wont outright say it but he. has a bias against bears because of bearo now.

mostly he just makes like petty comments if he sees a bear or anything? calls them stupid and annoying

of course this would quickly change if anyone gave him something that was a bear.

hed make some comment about it, something about how "you must not know me very well if you thought this was a good gift" but also he. wont give it up no matter what.

like if they offered to get him something else? its instantly 'no takebacks live with your choices' because he refuses to genuinely say he likes something that is bear themed.   but he does.

// i think if he had access to more shows (reagan please give him access to ur streaming services PLEASE) he would still love lighthearted cheesy shit like sitcoms

like as much as he enjoys high stakes where humans all die (lol), he finds it a lot more fun to watch shows where its just a bunch of. harmless idiots existing.

the office, parks and rec, schitts creek, etc etc. 

of course this makes him. insufferable to any non-sitcom enjoyer but if you show him other things you can wean him off of it u just gotta find other funny shows

one time he compared reagan to sheldon from big bang theory. he didnt….. mean it to be mean? it was a simple observation, but it did NOT go over well with reagan 

other shows he would enjoy, imo;

the good place

game shows! he gets SO heated watching gameshows bc he will play along and get mad if he cant get the answers right shgsghjdsjgn

columbo

gravity falls

// does not know his own strength sometimes and will just like crush shit in his hand accidentally

like he doesnt. MEAN to but hell be holding something and then flex his hand a little to make sure its not locking up and WHOOPS he crushed that solo cup and now reagan has to fix a beer-logged robot arm

tries to hold a cardboard box gently and just rips holes into it trying to get the right strength grip on the box

with things that are more solid, hes just fine because he can stop when he feels resistance and know he's holding it firmly but not breaking anything

but with fragile things? there is no resistance and then its broken and hes like. aw fuck

// myc gave him a furby at one point. said he found it in storage and it reminded him of ab because it never shuts up and runs on batteries.

ab HATES it. absolutely loathes the thing. it sets a bad example for robotkind, its UGLY, its ANNOYING, and he CANT MAKE IT SHUT UP.

has taken out the batteries before . insists that it kept going even after he took them out so he just put them back in anyway

( in reality he took the batteries out, got lonely, and put them back in)

he gave it a name but its like. a WEIRD ASS name. its essentially just a glitch noise

said he did it bc "no human should ever be allowed to sully its name" which is. oddly endearing in his own way

if you are able to sneak up on him you might be able to hear him cooing at the furby. plots world domination with it like an evil mastermind and his cat

// WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT AND ONLY REAGAN KNOWS BC THEY SHARE THE SAME STREAMING SERVICES BUT…….. he LOVES my little pony. specifically equestria girls

cried watching the first equestria girls movie, refuses to admit he cried watching the first equestria girls movie.

he also… secretly imagines the gang as the mane six? it wasnt hard for him to decide who was who and he will just sit there during meetings like "haha that is SO rainbowdash of you myc…."

(if youre interested, his assignments are :)

myc ; rainbow dash

glenn ; applejack

gigi ; rarity

reagan ; twilight sparkle

andre ; pinkie pie

brett ; both spike and fluttershy. ab will argue for both and he will win the argument.

(btw he sees himself as sunset shimmer<3<3<3<3)

[wildernezz]

Metal Lords: movie review

summary of plot (no spoilers): a dorky awkward kid named Kevin is friends with this wannabe metalhead named Hunter. they're starting a band together but because of their flaws, their progress fumbles a bit. however, after finding out about their schools Battle of the Bands, they start working to prepare for the contest. as they improve their skills, they also improve their social lives and their own personalities

general thoughts: I GENUINELY LOVED THIS MOVIE SM????? god if youre into movies about a buncha flawed misfit friends then this is definitely a movie i'd recommend. the first few bits are a little awkward because you can kinda feel that the actors are still getting into their roles, but sticking it to the end is ABSOLUTELY worth it. all of the characters were so lovable and it genuinely filled that "i wanna see a movie about people just being people" hole in my heart. i still have no idea how to describe those kind of movies, but i feel like if yknow then youll know.

movies "Metal Lords" reminds me of: Theater Camp, I Used To Be Famous, School of Rock, Love Simon

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT WEEWOOWEEWOO:

in depth but also scattered thoughts bc i cant organize for shit:

I LOVE THE SILLIES SM???? THEYRE ALL MY FAVORITE SILLIES???????? LITERALLY THE ONLY CHARACTER I HATED WAS SKIP (HUNTER'S BULLY), EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO SILLY????? ofc theyre all flawed and there were parts in the movie (especially with hunter) that made me disappointed to see, but the character progression was so satisfying and i loved seeing them all grow. it was genuinely so silly to me i love them all sm

EMILY AND KEVIN WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER???? AND I HONESTLY LOVED EMILY SM??????? JUST IN GENERAL??? LOVED KEVIN TOO BUT MAN I THINK EMILY IS MY FAVORITE. i loved all of her moments sm???? she has a lotta flaws but theyre honestly all reasonable and understandable to me so i kinda just forgive her for them anyways. i also just really love how sweet kevin is to her. like ofc he's not a perfect boyfriend and makes some slipups, but he genuinely really cares about her and i think it's so cute to watch.

more about me loving emily: I LOVED THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FORGIVE HUNTER RIGHT AWAY. LIKE IT WOULDVE BEEN COOL TO SEE, BUT THE PAYOFF AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS WAS EVEN BETTER. SPEAKING OF WHICH, SHE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING COOLIN THAT SCENE??????? SHE WAS COOL AS FUCK BEFORE THAT (u cannot tell me her cello playing wasnt the most badass thing out there) AND THEN THEFUCKING CCONNNCERRTTT??? IM CRYING I LOVE HER SOMUCCHHCH

i also really loved hunter. like there was a lotta scenes where i wanted somebody to punch him in the face, but he was honestly still lovable even throughout those scenes and he started improving a lot near the end, which was really nice to see. he obviously wasn't completely redeemable since there were still a lot of things he could've done better, but i feel like the fact that he didn't completely become perfect is what made me love his character a lot more. it felt really real to me. he isn't perfect, but he genuinely wants to make up for the shit he's pulled and he's absolutely trying to show it, and isn't that what living's all about anyways? either way, we love hunter in this household <3333

KEVIN'S TIME TO SHINE: that was a lie, i dont have much to say on kevin LMFAO. i absolutely loved seeing him on screen and i just love Jaeden Martell in general, but despite that, there's not really a lot for me to say about him. i just think he's neat. that's enough for me <3333 (emily shouldve been my girlfriend tho smh how dare he /j)

ALSO FUCKING CLAY???? HES SUCH A SILLY GUY. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS FOR MOVIES IN GENERAL???? HES SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GUY AND I LOVED SEEING HIM SM. KINDA WISH I SAW MORE OF HIM BC OF IT. EITHER WAY, WE LOVE CLAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD AS WELL <333333

i think thats all i have to say for this movie. either way, PLEAASEE check it out. i swear itll be worth it because the characters honestly all so adorable and so silly goofy goober. we love the silly metal lords here <33333

[psychewritesbs]

hi! i didnt have much success when looking through ur blog to see if uve addressed this alrdy so apologies if u have.

i was curious to know ur thoughts on jjk's portrayals of gender, esp women/femininity. if u have particular insight from a psych or philosophy bg, id be interested in hearing that (warning, i have a v feminist critique lens)

ik u love gege's writing 😅 but his handle on female characters/femininity has given me such a difficult relationship w jjk, and its v difficult to have discourse on it. on one hand, we're introduced to sm interesting realistic women, tbh i actually never stanned a woman in manga before jjk. but imo it cant be denied that gege is a sexist writer. despite how realistic jjk women r theyre all .. halfwritten? i cant think of a single one who isnt underwritten, not fully explored, not utilized substantially in the plot, etc. and there r sm ex's of extremely minor male characters in jjk who r given more thematic relevance than frequently recurring women that just underscores that gender gap imo

this isnt solely a gege problem ik but what bothers me in particular about jjk vs other mangas is how gege addresses strength, even in the light of nb/androgynous characters, and how it feels as if gege's def of strength is inherently masculine? even despite going so far as to give us a philosophical battle shonen w diverse reps of gender and emphasizing individuality that encompasses both femme/masc traits

how a reader interprets whether a jjk woman is strong or not is obv subjective. like, i think shoko is strong but shes not depicted as such bc she doesnt have a combative technique whereas yuki maki nobara or mei r depicted as "strong" bc of their battle abilities. but it also feels as if those women r strong bc they take on "masculine" traits/mindsets whereas there r no clear depictions of "femininity" making women or men stronger. even utahime who falls into v classic shoujo girl tropes is seen as weak despite teaching her students v proficientally in battle strategy (mechamaru v mahito is a good ex of that imo), as compared to how gojo teaches his (ie dumping them into missions for experience). but thats not what gege ever chooses to highlight

femininity also doesnt even seem to make men/nb characters stronger. the ex's i can think of r naoya as a vagina (lmao), geto as a mother to curses, yuta as highly attuned to his emotions, kenjaku as yuji's mother -- those r things that support these (mostly) men's strong sense of individuality but like, those arent really the things that lend those characters their "strength", u know? like geges just sprinkling in androgyny for the spice 🧐

what is feminine vs masculine, how an individual embodies those traits in their gender identity r already complex topics. im obv generalizing a lot here, but i just, idk despite how many other nuanced philosophies gege explores, what is strong/desirable in jjk still falls down to all-out fighting abilities/physical prowess, emotional detachment, isolation, extremism, etc -- all things we harp on toxic masculinity for. and even when he critiques that, theres no cogent counter solution/way to be strong that gege provides, much less one that incorporates "femininity" and women

maybe im just asking for too much from gege after having read so many great representations of women and gender by female (and male) mangakas/writers but.. i shouldnt be 🙄 he can utilize his female characters more imo, esp when he can clearly set them up so well. and im sure theres things ive misread about jjk and its portrayal of femininity, theres plenty of holes in my thoughts ^^ anyways, this is obv not a great topic to bring up in a fandom that is so polarized between dudebros and women w unaddressed internalized misogyny.. so i welcome any and all thoughts and interpretations on ur end! (also omg im rlly sorry this got so long)

I love you feminist anon, if I may call you that lol, I just always name my anons 😂. I am so grateful that you sent this.

I feel like you've very eloquently explained the deeper reason as to why I personally can't relate to the female characters in jjk. If I'm honest, I like them and think they are fun and good enough representations or attempts at depicting the archetypes that rule their personalities.

As you say, however, some of them remain rather superficial and underutilized... and please forgive me anyone who loves them, but some of them feel like they are basically dudes wearing skirts.

No offense to dudes who wear skirts or people who like men who wear skirts or anyone for that matter. It's just that, as a personal preference, I like female characters that wear skirts, pants, leggings, etc and have equal amounts of masculine and feminine energy.

So, even if I find they are good enough, I've never necessarily loved jjk female characters, because, as you also say, I've read/seen one too many amazing and iconic female characters by other authors...

And it's not like I think you're asking for too much from Gege in wanting better female characters, it's just that, as you also said, I like his writing and I read jjk precisely because of what it's doing for my masculine psyche. Like... quite literally.

So perhaps I'm more forgiving than you are because of it? Because in all reality, there are female character moments in other manga that I have to give the bombastic side eye to, and jjk isn't one of them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut.

So, that said, I have to admit that you might not find a lot of "feminist oriented" content in my blog because my feminist lens is reserved for dealing with lame dudebros in my real life, and also, I honestly do not know how to wear the lens on the same level of depth as you do.

Also, since my blog's lens is depth psych, I very much focus on femininity and masculinity as psychological qualities that exist on opposite ends of a continuum regardless of biological gender. You'll see me refer to femininity and masculinity like this throughout my answer.

So because of this, I'm coming at the whole issue from a slightly different angle than you are. The way I see it, I think the way the jjk female characters are written and thematically utilized (basically everything you said), ultimately comes back to how Gege's exploration of femininity is limited by his own sense of self, and very much likely biased by the sociocultural landscape he grew up in.

I don't know how much you know about Japan, but Japan has one foot in the future, and one foot in the past...

And like... ok I'm totally oversimplifying the whole thing. All I'm saying is... Gege is a man who grew up in a man's world, sharing his view of the world through jjk, which is a story about initiation of the male psyche that is published in a magazine for young boys.

Do you see the pattern there?

So If you feel like his female characters are underutilized and underexplored, and that thematically jjk focuses way too much on masculinity and masculine definitions of strength at the expense of the feminine archetypes he does present (like Naoya as a vagina LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL)... well... to me, we're basically looking at the limits of his own relationship to his femininity, which, this relationship is in turn an imperative precursor for psychospiritual development in depth psych. More of this in a bit.

Anyways, that's my anticlimactic reasoning for why I am more forgiving about the issue than you are. To be honest, I've been so consumed exploring my masculine psyche through jjk (because personally my feminine psyche is more developed in certain aspects) that I just never focus on the female characters (that is not to mention what I shared earlier).

ANYWAYS, I fucking love what you wrote about Gege's exploration on power from a masculine perspective because you're 100% spot on. What I'll say to that is that, to me, from a depth psych perspective, that's kind of the whole point.

I invite you to look at it from this other level of perspective (in addition to the whole "Gege's psych is a product of his upbringing"): the whole idea of individuality and focusing on the sense of self as a measure of "The Strongest" is being shown as an incomplete part of the equation...

... that leaves "the strongest" ultimately feeling dissatisfied.

This is a sentiment echoed by several characters because ego strength (masculine definitions of strength) is ultimately an unbalanced measure of strength precisely because it ignores feminine values and measures of strength.

Who knows where Gege is taking jjk at this point, but I will admit I am hoping he is going to explore this in more depth because, central to Jungian thought and depth psych is the idea of the Buddhist middle path and union of opposites.

In Jungian psych this means that, when you have an unbalanced ego attitude like that, something has to give so that the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, which gives the ego the experiences it needs to integrate the "opposite" attitude. This ultimately results in a more holistic and balanced perspective for the ego.

That to say that I'm wondering if Gege is going to make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction with the whole "individuality" idea since self-preservation is a "masculine" trait. Again, psychologically, it's all about balance, and right now, the story is out of balance in favor of the masculine traits you mention.

But... to bring it back to Gege's possible limitations around his perception of femininity and how developing a healthy relationship to his anima (femininity) is a precursor for psychospiritual development... what if, on a meta level, jjk is depicting part of Gege's journey towards integrating and deepening his relationship to his femininity and what you're seeing is the beginning of that journey?

Hint hint Tsumiki! maybe I'll write about it someday

This is the thing... In depth psychology, more specifically what is called "the psychology of fairy tales", fairy tales and myths are stories that depict the thinking patterns of a peoples through metaphor and symbol. The characters in these myths and stories are thus characters playing out dramas in our own psyches. So basically, think of jjk as an objective exploration of Gege's subjectiveness (psyche).

Admittedly, even if the pendulum swings in the other direction (more feminine definitions of strength), you might find that his exploration is rather shallow or that it falls short of your expectations for what you'd like to see from a feminist perspective. And you wouldn't be wrong for it, it's just that Gege is probably not on the same level of understanding that you have about femininity because he's, like you and I, a human on a journey of self understanding and growth reflecting on how his environment has shaped who he is.

The same goes for women with internalized misogyny. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, and coming to an understanding of it is a process that doesn't take place overnight.

So I think the only part I'll disagree with is that Gege is a sexist writer. But that's perhaps because I'm being a bit too technical in what sexist means? i.e. masc supremacy or hating women and perpetuating stereotypes. I think that rather than being sexist, his unconscious biases are showing, which is why someone like you can pick them out.

I do understand where you're coming from though, and admittedly perhaps I am being too forgiving of him.

Last thing I'll say is that I've said a couple of times that wanting for jjk to have these iconic female characters feels like an exercise in futility. In retrospect, I now understand that it's not that anyone shouldn't want for jjk to have iconic female characters, but that doesn't change the fact that jjk will probably remain the wrong manga to look for them, and that's something to make peace with because it is what it is.

So, here's to hoping we get a chance to see a deeper representation of feminine values in jjk or Gege's next manga. Because, if he's done such beautiful work with the masculine psyche, like you, I'd be curious to see what he makes of a deeper exploration of the feminine psyche.

Between you and I, I'd actually love reading a proper battle bl from Gege. And I mean proper. Like... gays so canon that even the dudebros can't deny it.

ANYWAYS... giiiiiiiirl what an ask 😮‍💨. I don't think I've done it justice tbh. But hopefully I made sense? I really do love what you wrote. It was very eye opening to see this age-old argument spelled out the way you did it. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

If you over have any other thoughts on the topic I look forward to hearing from you!

I rambled too so... hopefully I made sense 🤣.

[saetoru]

Tee for the Rb Gojo breakup- I can't see it happening because of a fight, yn is familar with all his antics and sheltered lifestyle that I honestly can't fathom him doing something that would make her want to breakup. So I was thinking... what if his dad has had enough and threatens yn into breaking up with his son? Telling her how she's inferior, not good enough, maybe even threatens to discredit her in the field of whatever she's majoring in. (Since Gojo comes from money one would assume that his family has a lot of influence over such things). YN eventually succumbs to his demands and decides to break up with Toru in public because he'd never agree in private. So at the latest soiree or fancy shindig, she sees the rich girls throwing themselves at him and then confronts him in front of everyone. That way everyone in his world will place all the blame on her as a jealous good for nothing and feel bad for him; yn wants to protect him as much as possible in having to do this to him.

After the breakup Gojo becomes incosolable and miserable- whether he chooses to vent his heartbreak through partying and reckless choices or holing himself up in his room and not going to class is up to you. And then of course his mom finds out the TRUTH about why yn broke up with him- because we stan mama gojo....and then from there...well- dabitee anon

SOBS I WANTED TO POST THIS SOOOO BAD THIS MORNING BUT IT WOULD SPOIL THE PLOT OF MY FIC but yes YES i had father gojo be the cause of break up !! i asked a while back and niku said that the class differences were worked out by now likely so that wouldn't rly be a cause—a lot of ppl suggested they break up bc gojo was accidentally too ignorant to readers and his differences but honestly i feel satoru is emotionally rly intelligent and i think i kinda picks up on what not to say / do and how to act to make reader feel less of a gap between them and him and i think reader would have a bit of an understanding that he is sheltered in his own right and he's trying his best !! poor thing is trying not to see like a jackass !!

N E WAYSSSS I DID MAKE HIS DAD THE CAUSE YES !! i made him threaten gojo's inheritance and stuff as a real test of readers love for him bc yeah he could so ruin reader career but would reader care if they ruined gojo's is the real question. I DIDNT GET A CHANCE TO SQUEEZE IN MAMA GOJO. SHE IS THE BESTEST. maybe in a later drabble she will make a lil appearance ;) maybe u will come up w a cute scenario for her omg u always come up w the best ones sobsob

I LOVE BOUNCING RB GOJO IDEAS W YOU SO MUCH UR MY BIGGEST INSPO I LOVE U SM and i hope if u get the chance to read the break up fic that u enjoy it and that it meets ur hopes 🥹 MWAH LOVE U KISSES U💋

[pants-rants]

ANOTHER MERLIN RANT. ok i have to admit there are a few plot holes in merlin, the cgi would give you nightmare and they have never heard of historical accuracy and somethimes that characters act in ways whih i think are out of character. However, i love it.

There was one example os such a thing where is season 5 merlin was ledt alone in these tunnels, unconsious and hurt. Arthur was wounded and unconsicous also so he isnt to blame. In fact before he got hurt he was looking for merlin but what about the other knights?? Gwaine especially who said in the past merlin is his one true/only friend. He has protected merlin even when he got banished for it. The other knights are also his friends, why would they leave him? After dedicating everything to his Kingdom? Granted they dont know that but he lived there for 10 years!

I struggle to believe why he was last seen in the caves with everyone leaving and then there was a cut scene to Camelot! Ok it could be a filming error where they didnt realise they made it appear as if they left him but it rly doesn't seem that way! Imagen you risked ur life to save ur friends. You have traveled days in snowy mountains with barley any food and water, u were captured by bandits, escaped, broke into a castle of a dangerous enemy (morgana and her men) fought ppl and went back as a distraction, then u saw ur friend (arthur) threatened so u run to help him and u get throw into a rocky cave wall. Ur now fading into unconsiousness and the last thing u see is ur friend being threaten with a knife.

This is what must of happened after. You wake up. There is no light and bodies all around you. It is deathly quiet. U have a possibly bleeding head and are all alone. All the ppl u risked ur life for have left u. In enemy territory. Imagen the betrayal and sadness. Except merlin doesnt do anything. He is back in Camelot in the same episode. NO ONE, remarks on his being left. Did they not notice or just not care? What would feel worse. He travelled all the way back, days, all alone. How loyal he is, how sad he must be. I don't think his closest inner circle will have left him. No matter how they sleem slightly to have drifted apart in the last season or two.

Its horrible, not even mentioning one of the next episodes where Gwen, one of his closest friends previously (again drifted apart) accused him of Murdering Arthur and everyone just .... went along with it? Belived it? The pain that no one belives u, trusts u. He served arthur for 10 years, he has publicly risked his life on numerous occasios. he is the only one to speak plainly to arthur without a filter and trys to get him to show emotions (except gwen his wife, but even she is more respectful and timid in this way). How could his closest friends belive he would hurt arthur and condem him to death. If Arthur hadn't woken, merlin would have been executed by his friends. Gwen, who he has saved and risked his life for on multiple occasions.

Fair enough, shes possessed but why wouldnt the others refuse, stop her?? Its too out of character or, merlins friends rly dont trust him enough or are gullible. I lean more towards gullible/oblivious cause no one in merlin seems to see his obviously golden eyes and accept Merlin's or Gaius's excuses. Thats a horrible feeling for merlin, actually for anyone. That the ppl u would die for wouldnt do the same for u, they would infact do the opposite. Again arthur is in a coma cause of the poison he could do nowt.

[kitty-thinks-stuff]

MURDER DRONES RAMBLE ‼️spoilers for eps 1-5‼️

i have GOT to talk about this show bc i have soo many thoughts. a lot of this is gonna be rambling about my pet peeves and plot holes and what i wished happen though (keep in mind this is with the knowledge up to episode 5, i havent watched farther than that)

feel free to discuss these points with me!! id love to hear other perspectives on it!! (please dont give me spoilers past episode 5 though!!!)

ALSO! i am in no way saying this is a bad show. its amazing and i cant wait to see more, plus obviously its an indie show and its got a small budget and all that stuff

so far my biggest pet peeves are the fact that the show doesnt seem to take itself seriously enough, and the way uzi is written

the whole "not taking itself seriously" thing REALLY shows in episode 4. the whole time all this super crazy stuff is happening and the jokes just ruin it. take the moment where Rebecca is crawling back to the campfire, LITERALLY CUT IN HALF

this is a BIG moment, scary, suspenseful, all that jazz. and imagine how terrifying and traumatizing it would be to see your friend crawl back to you, NOT IN ONE PIECE

but the moment gets really ruined by the "forgot name. not popular" joke. it makes what couldve been a creepy horror moment into a lame, kind of awkward joke.

then you have the scene where uzi is chasing all the campers. HUGE, RIGHT? i mean shes become this mutated, bird like eldritch horror creature, and shes "lost control of herself", murdering the people she knows (obviously shes not super close with these people but. murder is big no matter what)

this should be TERRIFYING!! its huge dude, uzi is running rampant, murdering and eating robots, scaling the trees!!!

and it just gets. kind of smushed by the jokes.

i will admit, they did a *little* better with this scene. so props to that! but still. ouch.

now onto uzis character

she could be SO complex. i mean imagine living your life hating the murder drones, only to end up becoming friends with one, and then realizing ur actually really similar to them (needing to eat people blah blah), to finding out you have powers, you have to eat robots, all that stuff

and so much of her big character moments are small and shrugged off really quick.

take her powers for example. she learned to use them like. right after she found out she had them

i could get it maybe if they just alluded to maybe her learning? or at least made it to where it was a situation where she HAD to use her powers (a fight scene, maybe a scene where n was gonna get hurt?)

but it was all stuff she could do herself, like picking up papers and opening doors

so i think its safe to say we couldve kept a whole "idk how to use these brand new powers" thing going for an episode or two.

"but they needed her to use her powers so it triggered the over heating" i hear u and that makes sense. however, they couldve kept this!!

so she breaks the mirror, fixes the bug. fixing the bug couldve been an "experimental" moment with her powers (thanks reeses for that idea) instead of smth she just. knew how to do. all of this couldve triggered the over heat. dont forget, shes new to these powers! she might not have built up the "stamina" for it yet, so using it these couple of times might be too much for her

she has the moment with v, blah blah, leave the powers out until the arrow scene. then her powers trigger again! she was about to get hurt, it would make sense. then boom, overheat again (remember, considering shes brand new to these powers, this is a lot!)

she runs away, maybe opens the door with her powers (though its kinda unnecessary, i could kinda see it considering shes got all the adrenaline going)

then we have the murder scene, which ive already talked about

then afterwards, its all resolved REALLY quickly.

murdering people you know, even if you didnt like them/know them, is never easy on anybody. literally the whole reason she hated the murder drones was because they killed her people. and the whole reason she excepted them now, was because they decided to STOP killing people.

but its just kind of a whole "oh well!" situation and it! bothered me!!!

i mean, they couldve gone SOOO many routes with the murder scene.

maybe a scene where n comforts her and helps her through the trauma of killing someone? maybe where the people around her struggle to except her again bc shes changed?

my personal favorite is where n attempts to comfort her because shes killed someone, and she makes a comment along the lines of "im not like you!" (but yk. more hurtful and angsty and close to home for n)

this could further her isolation, which could build on how she might see this new version of herself

it could also open the doors for an uzi/doll interaction where doll tries to reach out and help uzi, making uzi conflicted on what side she should actually be on.

but, i digress

now lets get onto the smaller stuff that doesnt really matter (its really just personal peeves)

i wish we got more on the murder drones being excepted into the worker drone society. this kinda falls under "the show doesnt take itself seriously"

i mean, these drones killed their family and friends but, "oh yeah, they said they wont and now we love them!"

this couldve been really good development for v and n but they just move on so quickly. also they brushed past all those missing campers super quick

i wish we got to see more of lizzy and dolls relationship. why were they close? did lizzy feel conflicted about working with uzi and the others instead of doll? (idk maybe im biased cuz i think doll and lizzy should kiss but thats besides the point)

i think that might be everything!!! ill probably make a more positive post too bc I DID LIKE THIS SHOW!!! its soo silly and im really liking it

[slowdripsunrise]

book review for into the drowning deep by mira grant!!! spoilers under the cut! just found out the author has a tumblr well if u find this pretty please dont look theres nothing bad in here its just not for you! reviews are for readers and you can get constructive criticism from a paid editor and not random readers doing this for free :)

ok i. literally just finished this and am writing it as i am staring at the finished checkmark on my computer lol wanted to get this out so i didnt forget. anyways ok so i super liked this book. love feels like a strong word bc i think im on too much adhd meds to really feel it like that but yeah i really really liked it.

OBViously the best part about this book were the mermaids. i came into it wanting mermaids and creepy shit in the ocean and science and thats what i got. they were creepy wnd fucked up and vicious and murderous amd beautiful and i loved them so much. especially that we got their pov! and how sometimes from their pov we would get little hints of answers about them before the scientists did. i liked that. loved the ocean imagery especially from dr toth was it heavy handed? maybe. idc i love the ocean.

this was also again. creepy as fuck not downright terrifying which surprised me bc im a huge wimp. but i was on the edge of my seat and anxious and nervous for a lot of the characters... which leads me to my next point i guess i dont really feel like i connected per say with all of the characters as much as others. like i feel connected for sure to olivia, especially when its her pov, the probable undiagnosed autism diagnosis goes crazy. and i really liked the wilsons, luis was nice, i liked dr toth. everyone else i didnt really care. which is fine i read this for cool mermaids !!

another thing i would kill for more of was the linguistics with hallie and lennox and the mermaid like i fucking LOVE that shit, and also what happened to said mermaid other than just a small bit at the end about it being bought by some rich guy. also would like to see more of the matriarch mermaid. i love the absolute ancient and archaic nature of creatures that are just fuckin so big, especially when it relates to the ocean. and also maybe i missed where her size was actually describe and im generally really bad at conceptualizing how big things are when just given like. measurements but i was picturing this thing as more colossal than anything else, which would tie into luis' research, right?? pretty sure that was his whole schtick and i wanted more of that... i do appreciate the mystery however. this book left me with questions, and not in a like this was filled with plot holes kinda way but more of a i need to know more this is probably how all those scientists felt kinda way. i like that i think. absolutely love how in these reviews im just spitballing ideas and seeing what sticks who knows tomorrow i probs wont agree with half the shit im saying but who cares. im working out my thought irl and this is what happens. on another note we had anchovies out for dinner and im not normally squeamish about them but. looking at them when reading this book did make me feel a bit weird so theres that. 4/5 stars had fun would recommend

[cyberrgirlsblog]

(TW bad words, idk what else)

Not beta read so sorry if this is shit, or if there are plot holes im trying

Part 2

Walking into the garrison pub i look around it's not crowded only a couple people are in here today i walk up to the counter and ask the bartender were tommy is

“He's in the booth’’ the bartender said, not looking up from the glass he was cleaning.

“Thank you,” I said.

I walked into the booth where Tommy was. I assumed there were more people with him but to my surprise it was just him. Which confused me since usually arthur or sometimes Polly was with him.

“Who was that, y/n” tommy asked, his cold blue yes looking at me unmoving

“What?” i said

“The romani boy in the caravan with you, he dropped you off, who was that?” he asked with a monotone voice.

A part of me didn't want to answer, a part of me wanted to win this mind game that Tommy plays but i didnt i know what was good for me at this moment.

“Just a boy I met along the road. I was gonna have to walk here but he drove me here instead of his name duke.`` I said with hesitance in my voice. Tommy nodded his head then spoke

“Hm, well do you have the opium?” Tommy said, looking at my bag.

“Yes sir” i said with a joking tone

Setting down the bag on the table opened it up and took out the bottles of pure opium.

“This is about 3 pounds of pure opium. It should be enough for right now. We're trying to expand our inventory of stuff but it's hard. Also there may be less opium due to the stock crash so the guy we get are shit from is upping the price.” i said looking at tommy

He took one of the bottle to look at it 

“Well that's to be expected when something like this happens.” he said while looking at the bottle

“If you want to make sure its pure you Should've brought Arthur he could have tested it out you know. Make sure it's pure.” i said in reality though it may not have been the best idea arthur has been spiraling because of this drug making a tasteless comment about it much less joke about especially in front of tommy. But you never cared too much about it Tommy didn't even flinch when you said it either which surprised you but it was also expected he was thomas shelby after all. A man with a heart turned cold as some would say.

“Well arthur has been clean for a week know” he said

“Has he, well that's good for him.’’ I said, to be honest though, I doubt it will last long knowing arthur. 

“Well Tommy, how has your family been? I've heard from Lizzie that ruby has been running around the house a lot. I've also heard from Polly that adas pregnant. Tho she hasn't said who the baby's father is'' i said while pouring myself a cup of wine.

“Yes theyve been good, Adas has been okay, though i have an idea of who the father might be but i think it'd be better to ask Ada herself.” he said looking at me and noticed a little smile when he mentioned his daughter. “And what of your family Y/n how have they been?”

I smiled a little but a smile nonetheless.`` They've been good ash is out doing God knows what and fez is meeting new people, building connections i guess you could say. I'm not surprised though he's probably the one that will take over the family business. Once well…” I trailed off. I didn't like to think about it but I knew her time would come soon. She's already been doing less and less. I'm not mad at my grandma. If I was her I would want to go out without fear of responsibility. I would like to go peacefully. I just hope she's able to be here for me and ashes 15 birthday.

 “I see, well y/n here's the money, about 100 pounds.” Tommy said, placing the money down on the table. I took the money and put it in my bag just as I was about to get up and leave. Tommy spoke.

“My cousin is coming into town. He's Polly's son.” Tommy said, I looked at him with confusion. I didn't get why he was telling me this. Until i put 2 and 2 together

“Oh shit he's the dude that didn't take out the stock right. And now yalls business is a lil bit shook from that.” i said, i started laughing until i remembered who i was talking to “hm i'm sorry i didn't mean any offense but my question is why are you telling Me this why not fez.”  I said looking up at him.

“I'm telling you this because he will be at the station. I want you to go with Polly and Ada to meet him. He's a part of the Shelby family, his names michael. You don't have to go but tell your brothers he's coming at least.” he said

“And one more thing don't over step with your jokes about my family.” he said looking at me with a voice you would use to scold a young child. I knew it wasn't a threat but it was a warning that I did know. All I could do was nod my head and walk out the bar.3

30 minutes later

Once I was able to see my house I started to do a light jog. Reaching the door I opened it only to hear yelling. I assumed it was fez scolding ash for some shit he did again. In the end though fez always took the blame for me or ash when we did something wrong. Walking to where I could hear the yelling more clearly I walked in the room to see fez on the phone. 

“I told you to leave us the fuck alone man. Okay i dont know what your talking about but i dont have them, we dont have them dont call this number again you fucking hypocrite ass bitch.” i heard Fez yell before slamming the phone back into place. Definitely gonna have to check if he broke it later.

“Fez who the fuck was that.” I said , looking at him with concern but a stern voice.

“No one you have to worry about.”  he said, walking away. I clenched my hands and dug my nails into my hands until I felt a sharp pain and blood roll down the back of my fingers. I try to understand why people do the things they do. I try to stay quiet and not question what people do. But when it's my own brother I can't understand. But I know if I ask him he'll just say some shit like.’it's for your own safety’ or ‘ I don't want to get involved’. But if that was true he would've never let me in the family business when I asked. 

I shook my head, walked up to the phone and dialed in the garrison's number to make sure the phone didn't break. I heard a ringing sound from the phone and then a voice.

“Hello, who is this?” It was the voice of Finn shelby. Finn was always silly to me hes was fun to hangout with but his new friend billy i didn't really like i could tolerate him but not like him and it wasn't just me it was the same with ash, i swear even though we're not blood related i feel like we have some type of twin thing with our minds. Sounds dumb ass fuck but i cant hellp think of dumb shit sometimes.

“Hello???” finn said again

“Hi finn sorry i was just checking to make sure the phone wasn't broken” i said with a laugh.

“Oh hi y/n, why would your phone be broken? Also ash is here at the garrison do you want to come to me ash isaiah and billy are here.’’ Finn said, his voice sounding a bit slurred.

“Shit um i'll see if i can go if i can't though please make sure ash doesn't do some dumb shit again. I don't want another call from Tommy and I don't want to hear fez and ash yelling at each other. Also don't worry about the phone i think the wire tripped that's all i'll see though if i can go, bye.'' I said before hanging up the phone I heard Finn say something but whatever it was it wasn't important to me. I paced around the room. I haven't gone out for fun in a while. I haven't seen Finn or any of them for a little while so it would be fun. Once I stopped pacing I set the bag of cash on the table.

“Fez can you drive me to the garrison ash there.” I yelled, a minute later I heard footsteps and saw fez leaning on the doorway. He looked at the bag of money then me. 

“Sure but if some du-’’ i cut him off

“Fez ash finn isaiah and..billy are gonna be there besides i'll be fine. Also I wanna make sure Ash doesn't do some dumb shit. It's weird. I know he's got critical thinking but he's always doing some dumb shit.” I said walking to the front door. 

“Nah Ash uses it thinking he just makes dumb decisions sometimes.” Fez said, opening the door and walking with me to the car.

“Hm, doesn't seem like it but as long as he doesnt kill anybody or do some fucked up shit then well i dont know to be honest as long as hes safe and not putting others in danger im good. '' I laughed, as much as I scolded Ash for his shit he was still my brother at the end of the day. But sometimes I feel more like his mother than his sister even though we are the same age.

—---- timeskip at the garrison

Once Fez parked the car we got out and walked to the garrison. Opening the doors I immediately went to the front of the bar and ordered a drink for me and fez.

“2 whiskeys please.'' I said to the bartender, his back was facing me as he grabbed glasses and poured a bottle of whiskey into each glass. Turning around he handed it to me

“Here you go ma’am” he said handing them to me

“Thank you” I said but just before I could get out the money to pay the side window opened. 

“Hello y/n don't worry about paying i'll cover it” i looked over and saw finn i grabbed the two glasses and handed one to fez and walked into the booth with fez following close behind me. I smiled once i saw everyone i walked to finn and gave him a hug

“It's been a little hasn't it, hows your wound huh. First ever gun shot wound your real peaky know aren't you finny” i said looking at him my voice light hearted. I heard laughing and looked to see Isaiah and billy.

“You could say that y/n but when are you gonna become one.” Billy said jokingly.

“Yea that's not gonna happen as long as i'm alive.” I heard Fez say. I looked over to see ash glaring at billy.

“Relax guys, it was just a joke.” Billy said, the room became thick with tension.

“Well know that everyones here, let's all drink.” Isaiah said, defusing the situation. I looked over at him and smiled.

 We all sat down and started drinking after about 6 drinks of hard whiskey most of them were shit faced. I was still on my first cup not cause I couldn't drink. Trust me I could. I just wanted to make sure nothing happened. I was dazed out of whatever conversation they were having. As my mind wandered I thought about the boy I had met. He was funny but also seemed cunning. I hope I'll be able to go to the fair. I really do want to meet him again. Even though it wasn't a strong feeling, I still felt a warm feeling in my chest when I was talking to him. I wondered if I felt like that with others I had met.  I hope I see him again. He seems nice and would be a good friend to have.

I was pulled out of my daze by Finn calling my name.

“Oy y/n whats on your mind” he said this time his voice extremely slurred to the point i had to lean forward to understand what he was saying. I sat back

“Nothing just tired, that's all.” I said quickly. I internally cringed at myself for how hasty my reply sounded.

“Hm well that's not what your face said, I swear you had a smile on your face so big I almost mistook you for the Cheshire cat.” Isaiah said laughing. I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment. I looked down at my drink and drank the whole thing. Soon enough I was as shit faced as everyone else. Talking about random shit and laughing at the dumbest jokes. 

—------------------ 1 week later

“Look fez all im saying is we get a house in small heath but keep this property to but like that way we can be able to send shit easier. You know”

“Y/n are you high?” fez asked but it wasn't really a question.

“...no, this is a thought I've had for a while dude. Anyways it will be easier for me cause i can like stay there and well have a place to stay if it gets too late at night or some shit like that ya know.'' I said looking at fez with eyes that looked like I hadn't slept in three years.

Fez sighed 

“Go back to bed y/n”

I looked him up and down 

“Whatever man, also have you seen ash?”

“Ash is upstairs,” fez said, sounding irritated at this point.

‘Mhm, oh also there's a fair going on this weekend do you think i can go”

“No,” he said, looking down at a piece of paper.

“What why it's only a little away.'' I was annoyed.

He didn't say anything, clearly stressed with whatever he was reading

“Look y/n just no” 

“Hm, yell you let ash go out and do whatever he wants why cant i go to a fucking fair.” i said my voice was rising in volume.

“Because there is less risk for ash, if he goes out” Fez said, looking up from his paper.

I looked at him with a perplexed expression

“The fuck are you talking about, one ash is the fucking risk and two what do you mean by that. Also i never said i was going by myself.`` I said I was yelling. I could feel my breathing become uneven with panic.

“Okay then whos going with you huh, who cause last time i checked you have barely talked to anyone out side of us and the peakys so who huh y/n fucking tell me.” he said his voice know rising, he sounded stressed but i doubt it was from this conversation.

I panicked. I couldn't say duke hell i didn't even know if i would see him there for god's sake.

“Ada, ada and her son Karl are coming with me okay. Look people may fuck with me but they wont fuck with Ada, she may have the last name thorne but everyone knows who her family is.'' I said walking closer to fez. Not breaking eye contact.

He paused for a minute seemingly thinking it over. 

“Shit y/n fine but if your lying to be your fucking done okay.” he said running his hand down his face.

I smiled and gave him a quick hug. 

“Thank you, thank you.” i said to him

___________________________ saturday 

After arriving in a small heath I walked over to the barnyard. My hands are slightly shaking. It's not the first time I've lied to fez before but when I did it was usually whenever me and ash went out to terrorize one of the kids that would either make fun of one of us. A lot of people say me and Ash are different but the reality is we're really not. Sure ash may act out alot and I may be more quiet but it's just because I keep my actions to myself. I keep the words I want to say to myself. When we were younger we would do the same exact thing as each other but getting older we changed. I would like to say I have more self control but that would be a lie.

I could feel the skirt I was wearing tighten around my waist. I was nervous but I knew that whatever happened today would be fun.. I hope so.

“Curly do have have her.’’ i said walking up to him

“Hello y/n y-yes I do.” he said, his accent was hard to understand, same with arthurs but i never said anything. Because most of my life I've been used to a US accent. 

“Here you go, does your brother know?” he said, handing me the horse. I rolled my eyes and smiled

“Yes of course he knows okay so you don't have to ask me okay. Anyways, here's the money.” i said to him handing him  the money

“Thank you curly.” I said before getting on the horse and riding off.

After a little while of riding I could see the top of the striped tents behind the trees. I quickened the speed of the horse and started to smile, excitement building up inside me.

Stopping by the entrance of the fair, I tied the horse around a post where other horses were being held. Walking into the fair I started looking around. I could see a vending station selling roasted cinnamon almonds. Going up to it, I ask the worker there for a bag of them.

“Here you go miss, that will be 0.10.” they said handing me the almonds. 

“Thank you” I said , handing them the change.

Walking around the fair I kept my eye out for Duke. I hoped I would see him soon but who knows. A couple kids ran past me accidentally hitting me in the legs almost making me fall over. I was able to catch myself by putting my hands between me and the ground, unlucky though my food had scattered on the ground.

“Shit” I grumbled under my breath getting up. I dusted off my skirt and picked up the bag to see if there were any left in it. Thankfully there were but not many

“Are you okay ma’am” I heard someone say I jumped before turning around and looking at the person.

“Duke!” I said a smile appeared on my face as I instantly pulled him into a hug. I felt him go a bit stiff and realizing what I had done I pulled away. My cheeks are burning with embarrassment. 

“Shit i'm sorry I don't know why I did that, uhh.” I said, grabbing my arm and looking down at the ground embarrassed.

“Hello to you to y/n” Duke said i looked up at him and saw his face plastered with a shit eating grin before he laughed.

“Didn't know you missed me that much.” he said with a laugh, i hit him in the side arm softly.

“No, I just do that with people i meet and feel a good vibe with them ya know.” I said , looking at him, keeping straight. I could see his smile drop a little.

“Well um anyways how have you been it's been a little.” I said while I started to walk, asking him to come with me.

—------------------------------------

“So duke, what do you usually do here?” i ask curiously looking at him

“Well i'll watch the horses and just do maintenance really nothing to interesting.” he said looking ahead

“Do you like working with horses, also do you like working here or nah.” I said this time looking forward.

“I like horses but I don't like working here. I want more for my life. I want to visit every mountain and go everywhere. I don't want to be here. I'm tired of working here.” he said with bitterness in his voice but a hint of hope.

“Well that sounds fun but be careful where you go. I don't know if there's still that like war between the irish or something but just be careful there. Ya know. Actually just be careful.” I said looking at him, I tried to hide the concern in my voice by masking it with humor.

“Hm calm down im gonna kill myself.” he said with a little laugh while looking at me.

“That's what they all say Duke but then they get carless, think they're all that then piss off the wrong people anyways if you wanna see the mountains who knows what's up there.” I said looking back at him. This time laughing.

“Hm, you seem to know a lot.” he said this time his tone was undetermined.

“Nah just knew people that did dumb shit either got locked up or killed. Not saying seeing nature is dumb is not.” I said trying to defend myself from nothing.

“I know what you. Tell me do you always worry this much for people you just meet.’’ he said looking at me. He had a little smirk on his face. 

“If ima be real no, but you're my friend? Were friends right duke.” i said looking at him with a hopeful expression on my face.

“...I mean if you want to be friends then yes.” he said he sounded caught off guard. But not in a bad way. I hope not in a bad way at least.

“Damn for real, okay well friend tell me more about yourself.” I said looking at him. A warm feeling spread throughout my whole body. Giddy with excitement and something else.

“You know duke you're the first friend i made that's not been through a business connection ya know.” I said excitedly.

“Business connection?’’ he said. Tilting his head slightly.

“Yea.. uh me and my family after we moved here we started making books and getting into stocks. Thankfully we pulled them out before the stock crash in the US.” I said looking at him covering up my word slip with a lie I was taught to say and rehearsed multiple times with ash and fez.

“Ooh okay okay. Well you're my first friend i've ever had.” he said with a serious voice. Looking back at me now we were walking out of the fair.

“You for real cause if I'm so kinda sad I'm not even gonna lie to you.” I said with a little smile on my face. Duke put his hand to his heart with a shocked expression.

“Do you think that lowly of me huh.” he said with an amused voice.

I turned to look at him and walked backwards.

“I was only joking, my prince.” I said with a sarcastic voice.

Duke smiled at me before running after me. I screeched before running away. I got about 20 feet away from him before I felt  a pair of hands grab me by the waist and slightly pick me up before pulling me into the chest of someone. I was about to scream before a hand was put over your mouth.

“You're really bad at running in grass, you know.” I felt Duke say into my ear his breath tickling my neck. I froze for a second feeling a slight shock up my spine before wiggling out of his grapes and laughing to the point my knees buckled.

“Alright Duke you win but Jesus dude I couldn't even hear you. If you were an asian i'm pretty sure big crime dudes would for sure hire you.'' I said getting up from the ground and whipping the tears from my eyes.

Dukes pov

I chuckled a little. “Who's to say I'm not one.” I said with a bit of humor in my voice.

She looked at me for a second and her eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight.

“Wouldn't be surprised if you were a duke. If not no but…” she said trailing off before checking her pocket watch.

“Oh shit I gotta get it, I'm sorry duke I really am but you see i may or may not have lied to even be here so i gotta go cause the person i said i was coming with doesn't even know i told my brother about them coming with me.” she said with a bit of panic in her voice. I felt a ping of sadness in my chest

“Oh uhm yea no no you should go. I'll see you…” I said this time it was me trailing off. 

“Hey uhm… thank you for meeting me here. I guess I met you here i dont really know but it was nice to see you again, Duke . Hopefully we'll see eachother again soon.” she looked at me, her eyes filled with hope. I felt my heart skip a bit. I shook it off as nothing special.

“Yea yea for sure i don't know when we'll have another fair here but when we do i'll probably be here. Also, are you sure you're good at going to your house by yourself?” I asked a hint of worry in my voice.

“Yea i should be okay. I'm armed just in case anything happens you know.” she said, with a reassuring smile. I wanted to question why but i didn't shit i mean i could see why seeing as where she lived and shit.

“You sure cause I can-” I said before she grabbed my hands and looked at me.

“Duke, you are too worried about me for only knowing me slightly and I'll be fine… also my brother would question why some guy is bringing me back home. Also I may have bought / rented a horse. Ima be honest though i don't really know.” she said, looking at me before disconnecting our hands. I missed the warmth of hers. His hands weren't rough but they weren't soft either.

“Right well I'll see you again someday Duke , be safe and I hope you get to achieve your dream.” she said before walking away to the entrance of the fair. I watched him walk away, air in the wind lightly blowing her hair.

I took one last glance at her before walking to the feeding area for us workers at the fair. Walking into the tent I saw esme right outside of the tent. Looking into the distance.

“Hello Duke.” she said bluntly, turning her eyes towards me. “Who was that person, thought you said you didn't have friends.” she said

“No one,” I said , looking at her. The truth was y/n wasn't no one to me but she didn't have to know that.

“Hmm we both know that is a lie Duke. What's her name?” she said looking at me

“Y/n” i said quickly, she seemed to freeze for a second like she was contemplating something.

“No last name?” she said

“Not that I know of,” I said looking at him before walking into the tent to get some food.

"Duke be safe okay." she said before leaving even thought i dont talk to many people esme is one of the people i can talk to she's gone through a-lot loosing her husband to a mafia and some gang related shit.

after getting my food i walked to my caravan. i thought about y/n i didnt know if i would see her anytime soon but i hoped i would

-------------

it would be a while before they saw eachother agian but the way they would meet agian would not be expected for either of them....

---------------------

sorry thats corny ash but i didnt know whta to put

—------------------------------------

Part 3 coming soon 

not beta read.

[bambuwu-writes]

wow your hcs are so adorable! can i ask for gender neutral s/o slow dancing with citron, sakoda and juza? 🌟

Oh this is so cute,.,.my heart.,.,.please.,., like, irl i am vv awkward ab dancing (i only do it alone lol) but oh my goodness, the idea of dancing with someone just melts me lol

Also so sorry ab the inconsistency in formatting, something possessed me while writing citron’s?? And then i shut down completely while trying to write juza’s and didnt finish it for MONTHS IM SORRY

Citron

He’s the one that's physically the closest to you the entire time, at certain points you two can hardly even move, you’re just kinda holding each other while music quietly plays in the background

Obsessed with staring into your pretty eyes <3, he may bump into something, dw he’s ok!!!

The spring troupe had just finished a run with a local college theatre group, while it was their off season, they all loved the script they were given to work with and Citron had an incredible amount of fun playing the role of a young professor. He absolutely adored the big warm coat that was part of the costume and Yuki practically had to pull it off him at the end of practices. Except for today. Somehow, some way he was able to evade Yuki’s inordinately good tracking skills and was holed up in his room showing you how warm and cozy and swishy the coat was! After twirling in it, Citron gasped as if an entire sun spider was crawling up the door behind you. Before you had a second to see what the hell prompted such a reaction, your boyfriend practically tackled you, to your great confusion.

“Darling, oh I know you’d look so cute in this, please please please put it on??”

Oh. oh no. Citron was doing the one thing you couldn't resist. Puppy dog eyes. Damn him and his cute face.

With only a slightly exasperated sigh, you respond with “ok ok, but only for a minute!! If Yuki finds me and tries to induct me into his society of sewing servants as payback for keeping the coat out of the costume room you have to come to my rescue! Promise?”

“I swear!!!”, ever the dramatic dweeb, your dashing prince kneels down, holding your hand, bringing to mind how he swore his loyalty to you when you first started dating.

With such sweet [and mildly embarrassing thoughts] occupying your mind, you hardly notice how Citron jumps up and draws the coat over your shoulders, cooing at how precious you looked!

obvi he started twirling u around to see the coat all swishy on you <3 he loves u soo much waaaajfhkjvdf,,

between the twirls he gets the idea to pull you into a little dance but he just kinda loves holding u so much its not that much moving, more like,,,..,prolonged-standing-hugging

Sakoda

this sweet little punk can be so smooth and fluctuate back to his goofball self in less than 0.0005 seconds it’s almost scary

(don’t let izumi find out or she’ll definitely try and get him into one of the troupes)

You two were watching a movie together and there was a really cinematic scene where two of the side characters just spent a few minutes dancing together. It didn’t really contribute to the main plot, and neither of the characters had much screen time besides that one scene, but something about it was so real, and so sweet that sakoda was practically melting over it.

Whenever you watch movies with him that he’s already seen he tends to watch your face to see how you react to his favorite moments and oh…,,oh his poor little heart,.,.

The soft, cool light of the small television in his apartment lit up your face in the prettiest way. He could see just how imperceptibly your brows furrowed as you tried to catch a glimpse of a poster in the background, how you grinned from ear to ear as you heard one of the characters told the other a horrendously bad pun, oh god, how you leaned towards the edge of your spot on the sofa, how your hand drifted to rest on his knee when it looked like the characters were about to kiss

He could not stand how sweet you looked

And then when you told him to pause the movie and get his cute ass up he was vv much confused

“Ken, I think I know the song they’re playing! Wait one second…Got it!”

He couldn't help but giggle at how proud of yourself you looked as you dragged him into the centre of the living room, gently pushing aside the box of dvds Sakoda was pawing through earlier with your foot

And when you pressed ‘play’ on your phone and he heard the first few bars of music, when you rushed over to him and clumsily placed one hand on the back of his left shoulder, one hand interlaced with his, and oh god when you started to lead him in a soft little dance around the area rug you two bought last month, he was sure he was the luckiest man alive

Juza

Oh my goodness i love this boy so so so much.,.,he’s such a sweet lad,.,.soft boy,,.baby,..,babyyy boyy.,.,

Ok, you will have to take the lead on this one!

As much as juza adores you and wants you to feel like royalty, he is soooooo haunted by the rough edges of his life in a real sad babygirl way

At least at the beginning of your relationship, he really does not trust himself to not screw up. He cares too much about you to make dumb mistakes, and he foresees sooo much going wrong if he tries to pull off something so stupidly suave

So, it was your 1 month anniversary and you were BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS

You!!! You and your boy!!! A whole month!!!! Your!!!! Boy!!!!!!

You wanted to spoil him soooo badddd

He managed to beat you to the punch [unintentional, but a good metaphor for this lad!], by inviting you to a cat cafe he said Mr. Mikage recommended <3 [hell yeah hiso, thank u king]

He even downloaded the little app the store released so your drinks and snacks would be ready when you got there?!?! This boy!??!?!?

The store was owned by this really sweet older couple in the neighborhood who had started dating a few years ago [azuma filled you in on the gossip <3] and you always felt so happy looking into the store every morning as you walked past, with Mr. Hayashi outside, watering the plants, and Mr. Agawa inside, bringing out some baked goods

The only other person in the store at the moment though, was the young woman at the register who seemed to be getting either veryyy antsy or veryyy excited about something. After noticing her looking at you and juza at least 5 times in as many minutes you landed on the assumption that she proooobably figured out you two were on a date

And for some reason she left for the break room

And you could swear the lighting in the store dimmed, even though it was like, 10am and sunny outside

And the music suddenly sounded a lot more like a soft, romantic lofi playlist

Oh

…

Ok register girl. I see you. Well played. Well played indeed…

From your vantage point [bean bag chair, best option for observational missions, tactical retreats, and cosy snuggles with that bigass maine coon], you saw juza trying his damnest to keep cat hair off of his shortcake. More than once you saw him raise that silly little cake fork to take a bite and make the cutest scrunched up frownie face when he saw a hair just as he was ab to indulge in delicious strawberry creamy cake-y goodness!! Real tragic!! Real cute!!

you had genuine concern that your heart was going to rupture or strain or pull a muscle or whatever it is that hearts do from the sheer cuteness of the pretty boy in front of you, so you spring into action

nobly shielding juza’s dessert with your jacket tented delicately over the plate, you guided that darling boy of yours to stand up and hold your hands

while juza didnt know exactlyyy what you were planning, he knew it was meant to be romantic, so he took advantage of your single second of strategic slow-dance-stance-ing to give you a little kiss on the forehead :))))

he is vv pleased with himself :)))

i worry im getting repetitive, so i’ll cut to the chase, you tell juza you wanna dance!! [boogie woogie groovy woovy], you step on each other’s feet while trying to avoid stepping on cats, cashier is overjoyed at her instincts proving right, and the cafe owners peek through the staff break room window too and after aww-ing at how cute you two are they start slow-dancing too! bam! done! two cute couples in one hc am i the best or am i the best hell yeahhhgg

[purpeltomato]

So.... Thoughts on BAPC reboot? (Not couting lazy in space)

Personally... Kinda disappoiting, im ngl. Animation is very obviously GORGEOUS but like. It still felt... A little bland, something that i would NEVER say to the original. I dont really like comparing (tho lets be real the og IS MILESSSSSS BETTER) i guess ill just kinda try to criticize it on its own?

Is it watchable? Sure, its good if ur a first-comer actually, but. Idk. It just didnt feel like it was a show ABOUT Bee AND PUPPYCAT. its like he was just there, moving the plot forward and wasnt really a character. Seriously, there wasnt a single meaningful interaction he had with bee before her birthday, it was PAINFUL to watch.

Sorry, but that last moment where they chat about bee's favorite foods, colours, etc just... Didnt hit as hard! They BARELY KNOW EACHOTHER! or if they do, SHOW US THAT! they didnt exchange conversation at ALL besides some small talk, which was just SAD. Their dynamic was honestly SO GOOD!! THEY WERE BOTH 2 LAZY DOOFUSES WHO CARED ABOUT EACHOTHER, EVEN THOUGH THEY LOOK SO DIFFERENT!! THEY WERE PERFECT!! now Bee doesnt have a personality at all, and puppycat is just a sassy little bitch. I like sassy puppycat, but they forgor to give him any other features besides that💀💀💀

Thats probably what ruined it to me the most. Characters dont interact, we dont see them CARE FOR EACHOTHER, GROW A BOND TOGETHER, so how are we supposed to know they even ARE FRIENDS?

with bee and deckard its different cuz its stabilished they've already been friends but EVEN THEN, THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO EACHOTHER (tho not by that much either..) Bee and puppycat DO NOT INTERACT AS FRIENDS AT ALL. THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS HERE. WHICH JUST MAKES ME SO MADDDDDD OMG WHY DID YOU GUYS DO THIS!!! ALL FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING S1 SMALLER??? WHY!!!!!!!!!!

another thing is HOW FAST-PACED IT IS!! I enjoy me some fast paced shows but bap was literally the opposite of that!! Its supposed to be a relaxing, slow show! What happened with that? :( I wish i could say this doesnt affect the show BUT IT DOES. they really should've just reanimated it instead of rebooting it.

Now this is just me beijg a bitch but THEY TOOK OUT YHE MOST ICONIC LINES!!!!! THEY GAVE THE SHOW SUCH A CHARM YK??? THEY WERE SO FUNNY AND YK UNIQUE?? WHY DID THEY DO THAT?????😭😭😭😭

Not to say everything is bad tho, they didnt mess up Cardamon, he was pretty good. Kinda wish they'd shown him and sticky interacting just a bit more, and more of how hes dealing with the whole situation with his mother, but its fine, it was great. Also episode 3 is pretty good, but again, MISSED OPPORTUNITY FOR MORE INTERACTIONS WITH PUPPYCAT!! THEY HAD TO SHOVE DECKARD IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR BONDING HUH.......

(not to say i dont like him I ADORE HIM but cmon puppycat needed a LOT more screentime with bee :( not deckards fault tho, his story was also handled pretty good.)

Should you watch it? YEAH GO AHEAD!! its still entertaining nonetheless and animation is gourgeous!! Please go support it and GIVE IT WATCHTIME!!

But do i think og is better? Yea. It also had a lot of flaws but they were kinda shaddowed by their rights. But they have different good things too, yk!

Reboot had a beautiful animation style, it explained WAY BETTER why bee was fired from Cat Café, while i liked the sudden hints og gave about bee being a robot/Cyborg and puppycat being the space outlaw, i think lore-wise was better explained here. It explained some plot holes the og had, and MORE TOAST!!!!!!! MORE CASS AND DECKARD INTERACTIONS!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!

Buuuttt, og had WAY more charm, personality, more interactions, better pacing, way funnier and felt more natural and "easy-going."

BUT THATS JUST MY OPINION!!!!!!!! IF U WATCHED IT PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK I WANNA HEAR ALL UR RAMBLES!!

[meyhew]

What are said thoughts upon rereading RWRB?

nothing outrageous tbh. i'm barely halfway thru so there's a lot of the plot left that i still dont rmbr but i think the movie was still... good. as an adaptation not so much but if you watch it as its own separate thing then it's pretty solid. there's a giant gaping hole where june should be tho. i didnt feel it when i watched the movie because i remembered nothing from the book. i did say alex could never be an only child even in my head but now it's like... hello... june's presence & their family dynamic make up half of who alex is. spinning that on its head creates an entirely different person. sanitizing henry's sister of her past is also kinda weird but again its a 2 hour movie and u can only do so much in that time. perhaps if it was done as a mini series they could have explored a lot more but i see why fans have been upset. however eyem going to keep the two things separate in my head so i can enjoy both <3

[navree]

https://www.tumblr.com/navree/727281176414420992/what-do-u-think-about-zeglar-and-how-she-talks?source=share

Gotta agree with a lot of ur points. So many male actors out there that they didnt read/watch the source material of the character their playing and get no shit but the moment a female actress say that all hell breaks loose.

From what I have seen it seems like the problem most people have with her is how she spoke negatively about og snow white and its plot and themes and characters. And there was that whole thing with the drawfs (im not going into that rabbit hole).

Personally the girl seems nice. Its easy to see that shes new to the scene. And she seems to ramble (?) say things without thinking them through ( ppl call her a pr nightmare 💀) (apparently this has happened before). But overall she seems nice and lovely.

The only thing that i found a bit eye raising was her saying her costar on film who plays the prince can just be cut out of the movie which was a bit ??? Though i can tell she didn't mean this badly or negatively (atleast i hope).

The thing that's so baffling to me is we've had people actively hating the source material of the movie/TV show they're adapting and most everyone was fine with it. Robert Pattinson (my beloved) spent nearly his entire time in the Twilight franchise actively hating everything his character did and every plotpoint in the books and the movies, and nobody batted an eye. But now Rachel said something about this movie nobody's even seen yet and isn't even done filming and it's World War 3? What?

The thing to me is that, OK, she said something that was perceived as disparaging to the original movie. So? Maybe she said that the plot wasn't that interesting or that the characters are flat or the themes basic to nonexistent, beyond the fact that she wouldn't be wrong to say any of that because it's all true (no shade if you like that movie, but it is a bit basic compared to even other classic Disney movies like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, and it makes sense that it's flat because, again, it was the first of the Disney animated movies that would solidify its brand), but genuinely: who cares? Literally who cares if a Disney movie of almost a hundred years old is being lightly disparaged for two minutes? Why are you (not you anon, but the collective you, the royal we type of you) so upset about it? Is your identity so desperately and intrinsically tied into the concept of 1937's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves as created by the Walt Disney company that the lightest critique is tantamount to a personal attack?

Listen, I get having strong feelings about favorite movies, even favorite Disney movies. My favorite movie of all time is most likely The Lion King, I find it a practically perfect film and beyond my enjoyment, it is something that's fundamentally tied into my relationship with my father in a way only he and I share, I get having an emotional connection to these kinds of movies even as an adult. But if y'all are pitching a hissy fit because Rachel might be pulling an RPatz, that's for you to sort out with a responsible adult, or in therapy, not go and be gross on Twitter for no reason.

Also again, this movie has not come out yet, it's not even finished filming, we can't be doing discourse about something literally only partially completed, it's like complaining you know a cake is gonna taste bad because you put it in the oven five minutes ago and it still looks like mostly batter.