#if you really feel that someone working on a show/movie is an awful terrible no good person

[bigbuffelves]

some people always seem to do this thing of "the character is bad so the actor is bad" or "the actor is bad so the character is bad". using one to justify hate of the other when the actor is a guy pretending to be another guy, that some other guy imagined. it's silly imo.

sidenote: not supporting an actor you feel is a terrible person is understandable but if you're going to engage with the media, you should try to remember your bias and not ruin other people's fun.

[leahwllmsn]

broke your heart, I’ll put it back together

alexia putellas x reader

In which Alexia is an excellent footballer yet a terrible, terrible girlfriend. You still love her nonetheless.

Alexia never had much experience with the love that she saw in movies: all the hugs and the “I love you”s and the heart-to-heart conversations. Alexia thought they were too cliché anyway. Especially the “I love you”s. Some people give proclamations of love too easily and not mean a single thing. 

Her sister loved to laugh every time people misjudged Alexia to be someone emotionless and cold, when in reality she was just “an awkward introvert who’s terrible at anything related to love and romance and all that jazz,” (Alba’s words). 

Although Alexia would say that that was false. Just because she turned awkward whenever someone showed a bit of affection didn’t mean that Alexia sucked at romance. Alexia had watched enough Nicholas Sparks movies to understand what she had to do when the time came. Flowers. Chocolates. Kissing in the rain. Simple.

(“Simple. Yup, definitely. That’s obviously why you’re still single at the age of thirty.”

“Excuse me! Puta.”

“Should I set you up with someone? Yeah. I’m gonna set you up with someone.”

“Alba, fuck off.”)

So maybe Alexia was thirty and still single. So what? Alexia just never thought of relationships to be that big of a deal. And it definitely wasn’t because of how she was as a person “distant and reserved”—or so how Alba described her to be. Her job was already taking too much of her time as it is.

Alexia was the best footballer in the world, and aside from trainings and matches to play, it also required back-to-back meetings and her full attention and wow, Alexia really was going to die alone as a cat lady which was so much worse because she was allergic to cats.

“Your turn, Ale.”

Alexia turned her gaze towards Mapi. It was media day at the Estadi Johan Cruyff. Alexia always had loathed doing interviews but it was part of the job. “How was it?”

“Fine as usual,” Mapi shrugged, flopping on the empty bench next to Alexia. “Have a feeling you will enjoy this one though.”

Alexia raised her eyebrows, moving to stand up. “Why?”

Mapi had a cheeky look on her face. “The interviewer is definitely your type.”

Alexia threw her jacket at Mapi’s face, causing the latter to laugh. “I will gladly say I told you so later! Just you wait!”

Alexia entered one of the rooms that was designated for her interview. It was going to be a fun and lighthearted video. Alexia couldn’t really remember the name of the media that she was assigned to, she had a lot on her mind lately. 

Especially since her family was throwing a get-together over the weekend and now both her mother and Alba were pestering her over bringing someone. Alba putting ideas into Eli’s head that Alexia should be seeing someone at this age and Eli quickly agreeing that she was spending too much time on football—

“Miss Putellas? Hi, nice to meet you.”

Alexia’s mouth went agape.

“I’m y/n and this is my team, Robert and Camila. Thank you for having us.”

On second thought, maybe Alba was right. Maybe Alexia really was destined to be the typical career woman who focused too much on work and never had time for love, especially since she was cold and distant and was really, really downright terrible at romance, because there was no way that her heart was doing somersaults when she should be working. This was awful timing. She was so unprofessional.

Her heart was definitely not skipping a beat because of an interviewer who looked to be in her twenties—oh god, Alexia was definitely not crushing on someone who looked like she was still in university.

But the moment you smiled, Alexia knew she was screwed

—

“Fuck you, Alba.”

“Well, Alexia Putellas, just so you know I do have hundreds of girls lining up wanting to fuck me.”

Alexia groaned into her phone. “First of all, ew! Not funny. I hate you.”

Alba laughed. “What did I do this time?”

“You planted these stupid, stupid thoughts into my head! I was thinking about being single so much that you made me have a crush on someone who’s supposed to interview me—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there. How is this my fault?”

“I don’t know!” Alexia exclaimed. “I went into the room and she was there with her stupid cute vest and little notebook in hand and her hair was brown and wavy but not too wavy, it was just perfect the way it falls perfectly down her shoulders and her stupid smile. She was smiling at me, Alba. At me. Smiling.”

“Oookay,” Alba dragged out. “When I said you should find someone I didn’t mean a sugar baby.”

“Alba!”

“What? An interviewer? Journalist? I doubt she’s making a lot per year—”

Alexia groaned even more. “Please don’t go around saying shit like this to anyone else.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Whatever, you’re no help,” Alexia stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, making sure that she looked fine. Not that she wanted to impress you—she just wanted to look fine to someone who was going to interview her. Yeah, that was it. “I'll talk to you later.”

“Going back to your new lover?”

“Shut up,” Alexia unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. “I ran to the bathroom because I freaked out.”

Alba’s laugh was so loud that people in the hallways glanced at Alexia as she passed by. “Real smooth. You're totally good at romance. An expert. The real life Romeo—”

Alexia hung up and plopped her phone in the pocket of her tracksuit. She could get through this. She had played in front of thousands, she went through people criticizing her every move as if they were better than her. She wasn’t nervous then, why should she be nervous now?

“Sorry, where were we?” Alexia said as soon as she reentered the room. She took her seat, you on the other side of the camera, still with that damn smile on your face.

“I was just about to tell you that I have always wanted to interview you,” you replied.

“Me?” Alexia squeaked, immediately clearing her throat nervously. 

—No, not nervously. Alexia didn’t get nervous. Fuck.

“Yes. You’re a very interesting person,” you fidgeted with the notepad and pen in your hands, your shoes tapping on the floor slightly. Alexia realized that you were nervous, and somehow the thought placed a smile on her face.

“How long have you been working for …Dazn? You could pass as someone who hasn’t graduated university—not that I’m saying you’re not qualified to do your job or anything, you just look really young- not that it’s a bad thing! Lo siento. I’ll just stop talking.”

Real smooth, Alexia. Real smooth.

“Well,” you chuckled. “To answer your question, one: just for a little while and two: you’re kind of right.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled bashfully. “I’m twenty-five years old, still in university, but for my masters.”

“I see,” Realization dawned on Alexia’s face and she had to look to the side to hide away her smile. A five year age gap. Not bad at all. 

…Not that it was important, though. Definitely not important. “What are you majoring in?”

You scrunched up your nose. “Isn’t this supposed to be me interviewing you?”

Alexia laughed. “I suppose so.”

“Should we jump into it then?”

“Fire away.”

—

As soon as you left, Alexia couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day. She didn’t know whether it was because of how stupidly charming you were or because of your addictive smile—okay, no. It was probably not because of you at all. You, who she barely knew. You, with the stars in your eyes, staring at Alexia as if you adored her to bits and wanted to know every single detail about her, including Alexia’s favourite food.

“She asked the question out of nowhere, Albs. We were talking about the upcoming season the second before.” Alexia recalled.

“That does seem pretty random.” Alba replied in between bites of her food.

“Right?! It was like she was done with all her questions, but she wanted to get to know me further—”

Alexia’s sentence was cut off by Alba’s laughter. “Don’t get too cocky now, Ale. Just because you have a crush on her doesn’t mean she’s into you too.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “I don’t have a crush on her. I can admit she’s attractive. And funny. And smart. Does not mean I have a crush on her.”

“Seems like you do,” Alba said, a smirk forming on her lips. “Which is great! Haven’t I been telling you to find someone? This is super great.”

“I’m not gonna date someone years younger than me, Alba,” Alexia cut into her steak and took a bite. Yup. She wasn’t going to date someone who was five years younger than her.

“She’s twenty-five, that’s nothing.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at the brunette in front of her. “…How do you know her age? I never told you her age.”

“Google exists,” Alba said simply. “And remember the girl I’m sort-of-seeing-but-not-really?”

“Marta,” Alexia nodded.

“Maria,” Alba corrected. “She’s your girl’s best friend.”

Alexia paused her fork mid-air. “What?”

Alba hummed. “They're on the way here as we speak.”

“What?!” Alexia repeated, a clang echoing throughout her dining room as her fork fell to her plate.

“I invited them over for drinks.”

Alexia palmed her face and groaned. “I think I missed the part where you invited them over to my place without my acknowledgement.”

“Oh whatever, hermana,” Alba waved her off. “Stop acting as if I don’t live here.”

“You don’t,” Alexia reminded.

“Your place is my place and all that,” Alba teased.

“Alba,” Alexia felt like strangling Alba. Or anything to wipe that grin off her face—

The doorbell interrupted them.

Alba squeaked and jumped out of her chair. “That’s them!”

Alexia opened her mouth to say something but Alba was already out of the room before she could utter a word. Damn it.

Alexia forced herself to stay cool, following after Alba and sighing when she neared the front door and saw a girl she’d seen in Alba’s pictures and you.

“Hello,” Alexia greeted. 

“Amor, this is my grumpy and very single sister, Alexia,” Alba pointed at Alexia and Alexia slapped Alba’s hand away.

“I’m Alexia,” Alexia put her hand out, her smile widening when she caught your eyes. Okay, so maybe she didn’t hate Alba that much.

“I know, wow, it’s an honor,” your best friend shook Alexia’s hands. “You’re a legend.”

Alexia laughs, her cheeks turning red. “Thank you.” She turned to you and gave a little wave. “I don’t think introductions are necessary, is it?”

“Hi, Miss Putellas,” you said. Alexia hated how addicted she was to your voice despite having just met you today.

“Oh no. Alexia is fine, please.”

“Okay then,” you grinned and Alexia swore she could die on the spot. “Alexia it is.”

—

“So, Alexia,” you started. You were seated on one couch, Alba and Maria occupying the smaller seater to your left. No one seemed to be paying attention to the movie anymore. Alexia couldn’t even remember what the damn plot of the movie was. You, as it turned out, smelled really good and it was very addicting—and Alexia was insane. Insane for developing a tiny crush on you when you two had just met today. 

You looked like you didn’t know what to say, settling with, “Nice place.”

Alexia gave a soft laugh. “Thank you? There’s more that I haven’t shown you actually.”

“Yeah?” you sounded like you wanted to have Alexia show you around.

Alexia darted her eyes towards her sister and her ‘not-so-date’ to see that they had both fallen asleep. Alexia contemplated whether being alone with you would be something she should be doing or not, and after a moment she decided that there wasn’t any reason for her to not want to be alone with you. 

So Alexia stood up and offered a hand out for you to take. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

—

Five minutes into being alone with you and walking around Alexia’s house—or mansion, as you called it—Alexia discovered five things about you.

You had two dogs, Salt and Pepper, and Alexia could tell how much you loved them with the way you excitedly told the story about how you got them.

You were an only child and your parents spoiled you to bits and they supported you in everything you did, all the way from the United States.

You were American.

You were taking your masters in sports science and Alexia made a mental note to talk to the physios at Barça on whether they have a vacant spot for you. Not because Alexia wanted to see you everyday, but because she was sure you were a certified genius.

You were hilarious and made Alexia laugh a lot. Alexia wanted more of you.

You were in the middle of retelling how your day went and Alexia somehow really wanted to kiss you, which was dumb and stupid, considering how she barely knew you. 

You got excited over the littlest things, you talked animatedly about how you saw a dog on your way to Alexia’s place that looked a lot like your own and you gushed about how the dog barked excitedly at you. Alexia found it adorable, despite being confused on how a dog can bark ‘excitedly’.

“I’m sorry I talk a lot,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ears. 

“Don’t be,” Alexia bumped your shoulders lightly as you two continued your walk around her house. “It’s cute.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. Alexia could see the red on the tips of your ears. Adorable. “Can we go outside?” you asked, changing the subject.

“Sure,” Alexia led you towards the nearest door that leads to her backyard. “The pool is on the other side, this is my flower garden.”

“You have a flower garden,” you stated. 

Alexia hummed in reply. “I love looking at flowers. They are pretty.”

Once you stepped outside, Alexia felt her teeth chatter, cursing herself for not wearing anything more appropriate for the cold night air. When she was about to ask you if you wanted to head back inside, a jacket was draped around her shoulders and Alexia was surrounded with the scent of your vanilla perfume.

“y/n, you don’t have to—”

“Take it,” you insisted. “You’re freezing.”

“You’re gonna freeze.” 

Alexia shook off the black jacket and was about to place it around your shoulders but you walked ahead. “I won’t,” you walked backwards, smiling reassuringly. “I’m still wearing long-sleeves, see? I can handle it. Don’t worry.”

Alexia hesitated for a second before putting on the jacket. Alexia hugged herself tighter, it was still cold but also because the jacket smelled really nice. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” you replied. You stopped walking and Alexia would know this if she wasn’t so busy looking elsewhere but you. 

The moment Alexia bumped into you, your hands immediately went to steady her, resting on Alexia’s forearms. Alexia could feel herself flush, her cheeks getting warm, profusely apologizing because she was usually never this clumsy.

You giggled, your hands were still sending fire to Alexia’s skin, your faces inches apart. “That’s okay.”

“I should’ve watched where I was going,” Alexia’s face was apologetic. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really,” you were smiling at her. “A lot on your mind today?”

Alexia studied your face and nodded. Definitely a lot. She noticed that you had a mole under your left eyebrow. 

“Mind sharing?” you asked.

Alexia immediately stood up straighter and cleared her throat. You dropped your hands, but made no move to step away. “Just- work. Media day has never been my favourite.”

Yup. Work. Definitely not because Alexia couldn’t get your pretty eyes off her mind.

You narrowed your eyes at her and Alexia held her breath. You were really close. It was getting harder to breathe. All Alexia could think about was that vanilla was about to become her favourite scent.

“You’re very interesting.”

Alexia raised her eyebrows at that. “I am?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I saw you at training yesterday, you know. We had a briefing to prepare for today. You were… I wouldn’t say scary, but I was pretty sure your teammates were about to pee their pants.”

Alexia broke into a laugh. “What?”

“You had that furrow between your brows,” you elaborated, raising your hand and hesitantly running a finger across Alexia’s forehead. “And I could hear your stern captain voice,” you chuckled, dropping your hand. “But despite that you were still as charismatic and graceful as ever. I could see why people would be so intimidated by you.”

“And that’s interesting to you?” Alexia said, her voice barely a whisper. Her heart was hammering wildly in her chest.

“Yeah,” you answered, your voice matching Alexia’s whisper. “Because while I was interviewing you earlier today and this whole night, you’ve been acting the opposite and I couldn’t figure it out.”

“The opposite?”

“You’re… awkward,” you laughed. “You take charge on the field, your chin held high, you look people straight in the eye when conversing with them. But you’re so awkward—you bump into me, you stutter, you can’t look me in the eye for more than five seconds.”

Damn it. You were smart. Well, Alexia knew you were smart, but this was… this was you being able to read Alexia’s thoughts and damn. it.

Alexia couldn’t even defend herself because it was true. All the things you observed were true and what could Alexia exactly say to that? That Alexia acted that way because she was nervous? That being around you made her nervous? Which was baffling because Alexia had done speeches in front of thousands of people without tripping over her words once, yet one night with you and Alexia‘s vocabulary went out the window.

“Uh I’m sorry if that was overstepping,” you said, finally stepping backwards. “I was just stating what I saw.”

You looked really beautiful under the moonlight. Your eyes casted downwards, your hands fidgety, as if you were doubting yourself about why you said all that. You looked nervous, perhaps about what Alexia would say next. 

But despite everything, you looked really beautiful under the moonlight and Alexia figured that there was no harm in telling you that.

“You’re right,” Alexia laughed. “You’re absolutely right.” A pause. “You’re beautiful.”

You whipped your head up and looked at Alexia with wide eyes. “What?”

“I think you look really beautiful right now,” Alexia exhaled and stepped forward. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. “That is why I’m so awkward around you. I just don’t know how to act. I get nervous around pretty girls.”

You laughed and Alexia took it as an opportunity to pull you in for a kiss, swallowing all your laughter.

Alexia became addicted to the scent of vanilla.

—

Turns out Alexia did suck at romance. She missed dates, forgot to call you back and was a bad texter. The first week Alexia didn’t think her thing with you was going to last. She really was terrible.

But weeks turned into months and despite the missed dinners, you stayed patient. You were there in her kitchen with takeout at 10 p.m., waiting for Alexia’s meeting to end. You were there at 7 in the morning before Alexia left for training, a bag of pastries in hand. Alexia would happily munch on her guilty pleasures on the way to training, quickly getting rid of any traces of crime from her nutritionists.

You didn’t get tired of her even though Alexia stupidly didn’t move an inch the first time you initiated a kiss. You only laughed when you first stayed the night at Alexia’s place and Alexia offered her bed while she slept in one of her spare bedrooms. You didn’t mind that you sent paragraphs of text only for Alexia to reply with one or two words—you didn’t get mad, instead you would call Alexia to get her reply because you knew Alexia preferred talking instead of texting.

And Alexia was never the one to show affection. Pats on the back between teammates were appropriate. Hugs were awkward. She kissed each of her exes once or twice. 

You were different and you were persistent. You liked hugs. You hugged Alexia any chance you could get. You preferred to cuddle during movie nights and you liked to hug Alexia from behind when she was cooking dinner. The fact that Alexia tensed whenever you hugged her just made you hug her even tighter.

Strangely, Alexia didn’t find it uncomfortable. If she did, she would've said something. But Alexia actually liked your hugs. 

(“Are all hugs like this?”

“What do you mean ‘are all hugs like this’?

“I don’t know, Alba. Like- you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 

“God, you’re nauseating.”

“I’m asking a genuine question!”

“You are in love that's what it is.”)

Five months into your relationship, Alexia started to be the one initiating the hugs. She was more affectionate; intertwining your hand with hers when you walk side-by-side and kissing you goodbye in front of your friends, not caring about the whistles thrown at you.

Alexia still missed dates and phone calls, but strangely enough you still didn’t seem to mind. Alexia was left dumbfounded because how were you perfectly fine with all of this? There was a reason why Alexia’s past relationships never lasted.

“I know you’re busy, baby. And I know you’re trying your best too.” you once said. Alexia almost shed a tear because how were you so. damn. perfect?

After eight months of being together, Alexia was juggling her relationship and football much better. She canceled an important meeting for the first time ever because she promised that she would pick you and your parents up from the airport.

Alba called her crazy, and her past self definitely would agree with Alba. Alexia didn’t care though. The smile on your face when Alexia showed up with flowers in hand was priceless.

“What are you daydreaming about?”

“Hm?” Alexia looked to the side and found you staring at her. “Nothing.”

You laughed, setting your book aside and rested your head on Alexia’s chest. Alexia wrapped her arms around your smaller frame and kissed the top of your head.

“If you say so,” you lazily drew circles on Alexia’s stomach. “What should we get for dinner?”

“What do you want?”

“You always ask me what I want,” you giggled. “Can you choose for tonight?”

Alexia hummed in thought and after a moment she added, “Pizza it is.”

You immediately sat upright, a huge grin on your face. “You really are a mind reader, you know?”

Alexia shrugged, a smile at the corner of her lips. “I told you.”

You shook your head fondly, laughing as you laid back down to your previous position.

“I love you, Ale.”

I love you. Right. Alexia should probably say it back at some point.

But should she even say it back? Wasn’t that too soon? Alexia didn’t know when the appropriate time of reciprocating your girlfriend’s confession of love would be.

When she asked Alba about it, Alba questioned her back asking if the reason she hadn’t said it back was because she didn’t feel the same way you did—which was stupid. Alexia made sure to throw her popcorn across the couch, all the way to Alba’s face, because what kind of stupid question was that?

The first time you said those three words to Alexia, Alexia accidentally sliced her finger instead of the tomato on her chopping board. It was three months after you became official and Alexia wasn’t expecting it. Not that soon, at least. But you did and Alexia was so caught off guard that you two had to halt your cooking session and order sushi for dinner instead. Alexia didn’t bring up the topic again all night and you didn’t either.

Just because Alexia didn’t say it back didn’t mean she didn’t love you. 

Or… maybe Alba was right. Did she love you? 

You, who were the most understanding and loving person Alexia had ever met. You, who made her laugh in the mornings and made her laugh before she went to sleep. You, who were never mad at Alexia when she forgot to call despite promising that she would.

“Being in love with someone and just enjoying their company are completely different things, you know that right?”

“What?” Alexia looked at her sister in disbelief. “Of course I do.”

“Cool. So which one is it with you?”

“Which one?”

Alba rolled her eyes. “Are you in love with her or do you just like having her around?”

In Alexia’s defense, she didn’t have much experience of being in love. How was she supposed to know whatever that feeling was like? The only relationship she had was with Jenni and that didn't work out because they were both too busy to have a relationship. Was she ever in love with Jenni? Maybe not. A crush, sure. Jenni was an attractive woman.

Was it the same with you? Alexia liked you a lot, that was for sure. Was it so much to the point that it was love?

Alexia figured if this was Jenni, she wouldn’t have to think about this so much. Jenni didn’t care about love and all the cliché things. Alexia didn’t either. 

And Alexia wouldn’t have cared so much if it weren’t for the fact that you told Alexia you loved her every chance you got. (Alexia felt like the world’s biggest asshole every time you got silence instead of her saying it back).

When it rained and Alexia always held the umbrella for the two of you, making sure not a single droplet of rain fell on top of your head but ended up soaking wet herself, you would laugh and “I love you, Alexia Putellas.” 

When you had to move out of your apartment and Alexia told you that you could stay with her until you found a place because she did have some spare rooms (even though you ended up sleeping in Alexia’s bed every night), “Really? Alexia Putellas, my saviour, thank you, I love you,” as you peppered her face with kisses.

When Alexia found out that Maria, your best friend, was also your first love, you reassured her that all your feelings for Maria were now strictly platonic. “She was my first love, but that was years ago. I love you. You’re my present and my future, Alexia Putellas.”

When you came home with Alexia for Christmas and some of her family members kept on sending wary glances towards you, you held Alexia’s hand on top of the dinner table and proclaimed your love for her for everyone to hear, your chin up and your tone proud. “I love Alexia. I’ll take care of her the best way I can.”

When Alexia would pick you up from classes, leaning against her grey Cupra, you would sprint towards her, a big smile on your face and a “You didn’t have to pick me up, I know you’re a busy woman. Love you.”

Every single time Alexia would return a smile or a kiss, never saying it back when she knew you were expecting it every single time. Alexia realized romance wasn’t as easy as she thought and this whole thing with you was bound to blow up if she didn’t get her shit together.

—

Turns out, it did blow up sooner than Alexia expected. She wished this point never came—she knew it would, she had been dreading it ever since—but Alexia cursed the stars for actually making it happen. She just wanted to at least hold you for another night.

You two were getting ready for bed, Alexia changing into her pyjamas while you were already tucked in bed and you two were fine. 

Alexia was talking about her day, how her mom scolded her because she was five minutes late to breakfast (which was insane because it was only five minutes), about the meeting she had for a possible new brand deal, and how she missed you the entire day. And maybe Alexia should’ve noticed how quiet you were or how your body tensed the moment Alexia slid her arms under the cover and wrapped them around your waist.

When Alexia thought you had fallen asleep, you spoke, just barely above a whisper.

“I love you.”

It was silent—so silent that Alexia could hear a hair pin drop. She didn’t know why this night felt different. Alexia didn’t know why there was an edge to your voice and why there was something else she couldn’t quite place.

You turned around to face your girlfriend. Alexia could make out the faint outlines of your face in the dark—she had memorized every single inch of you.

“I love you, Alexia,” you stated once more. This time Alexia could clearly hear the challenge in your tone.

Alexia stared back at you, a sinking feeling started to settle in the pit of her stomach.

Seconds passed by, Alexia saw the mixture of emotions all over your face. You were hurt, Alexia could tell. You looked angry too, this Alexia wasn’t expecting. 

“Do you love me?”

Alexia was taken aback by the bluntness of the question. “What?”

“Do. you. love. me?” your tone turned impatient.

Alexia was wide-eyed. This wasn’t where she was expecting this night to go. “y/n—”

You got up from the bed and Alexia followed suit. You two were standing in front of each other on the foot of the bed, you with your arms across your chest and a scowl on your face. 

“Hey, what’s going on?

“‘What’s going on’?” you scoffed. “Do you love me or not? I asked you a simple question, Alexia.”

“I—” Alexia‘s voice got stuck in her throat. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t like that she was being put on the spot like this either.

You stayed silent, an expectant look on your face. When Alexia didn’t say anything else, you let out a big sigh.

“y/n…” Alexia croaked out. She was afraid where this conversation would go.

You groaned, taking a fistful of your hair before exploding at Alexia. “It’s a simple fucking question, Alexia!”

Alexia was taken aback by your outburst. “I—”

You stepped forward, a fiery look in your eyes. “I. Love. You.” you punctured each word with a jab to Alexia’s chest. 

Alexia stared into your eyes, seeing the mixture of rage, sadness and disappointment swimming around in them. Alexia knew she should say something—she should say the one thing she knew you wanted to hear. But why was it so hard for her to utter those words? Was it because she didn’t feel it? Or was it because she was scared? Alexia didn’t know, she needed to think, but you weren't letting her.

“You don’t love me, do you?” your tone was full of defeat. Alexia knew that it was now or never. She was going to lose you—really lose you—if she didn’t say something. “All this time you never said it. I tried to make sense of it, I tried to make sense of you. You got me flowers every week—sometimes even twice a week. You listen when I ramble about useless things, you accompany me to my lame university events, let people talk to you about politics and you never talk back to them even though I know you have opposite views on things. You just want my friends to like you. You remember all the dumb little things, remember when we first met and what I was wearing at that time. You tell me I look good even though I stayed up all night doing my assignments, you tell me I’m beautiful at five in the morning, at midnight, in the middle of the day. You look at me like you’re in love with me. Like you love me.” 

You paused and took a deep breath. You gave a bitter laugh before looking straight into Alexia’s eyes. “You do all these things but you never told me that you love me. Not even once, Ale. And once upon a time, I believed you loved me. But I just—I don’t know anymore.”

Alexia stayed silent. 

“You’re not even gonna say anything?”

Alexia stayed silent because she didn’t know how to say anything without hurting you even more.

“So it’s true, then?” your tone was full of defeat, your eyes shining with unshed tears. Alexia hated herself for being the cause of it.

“y/n,” Alexia whispered, her hands reaching out to touch you but you moved away. “I—”

“No,” you ran a hand through your hair and gave a humourless laugh. “Just, save it, Alexia. I think I heard you loud and clear.”

When you slammed the door shut, Alexia felt the sobs at the back of her throat but she swallowed them. To cry meant she regretted everything that led you to walk out. 

Alexia did this to herself. She was the reason you left, Alexia didn’t deserve to cry. So Alexia stared out her window all night, wondering whether the reason her heart hurt so much was because the feeling she had for you was love all along and she was just too dumb to realize.

—

When Alexia didn’t get a single ‘I love you, beautiful’ in the middle of a meeting and when no one was there to kiss her goodnight and whispers of ‘I love you’, Alexia wondered how dumb she was to let everything slip from her fingers.

—

Maria came by her house a few days after you left, saying that you had asked her to pack your stuff up. Alexia couldn’t do anything else but let her in and watched as your things that were scattered around her house were shoved into boxes.

Alexia didn't say anything, she couldn’t ask Maria where you were staying now or if you were okay. Alexia figured she didn't deserve an answer. 

“Is this y/n’s?” Maria was holding a stuffed teddy bear, one of its eyes missing and an embroidery of your initials seen on its left chest.

“No,” Alexia lied, taking the teddy and sending your best friend a small smile hoping that she was convincing enough. “It's mine. I know I’m too old to own one of these… it has… sentimental values.”

Maria nodded and Alexia had a feeling that Maria knew she was lying, that she knew exactly that it was your favourite teddy bear and that Alexia lied because she wanted to keep a part of you to herself. 

“Okay then, I’ll get going,” Maria lifted the last of the boxes and gave Alexia an awkward smile. 

Alexia nodded and gestured towards the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

Once the back of Maria’s car was filled with your things, it dawned on Alexia that you were really gone.

You weren't talking to her anymore and there weren't any of your things left in Alexia’s house. There was no more reason for you to come back and Alexia had to force a smile on her face, not wanting to cry, especially not in front of Maria.

“Actually, uhm,” Maria cleared her throat. “y/n has something for you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Maria gave an awkward laugh before reaching into her car and pulling out an envelope. “She told me to give you this.”

Alexia took the envelope with shaky hands, once again forcing a smile onto her face. “Thanks.”

Maria was looking at her with so much pity in her eyes and a part of Alexia was angry at her, because just like Maria, she pitied herself too. How could she ruin such a good relationship? She felt pathetic and she understood why Maria was looking at her that way.

“Alexia, look,” Maria stepped forward and placed a hand on the captain’s arm. “I honestly think you two will get through this.”

Alexia gave a bitter laugh at that. Was Maria mocking her now? “She packed all of her things. Well, you did, but it doesn’t matter. What part of all of this still makes you think that she’ll come back? Because I don’t think she will. I screwed up. She is not coming back. It’s fine, I’ll live.” Alexia hated how despite trying to act unaffected, anyone could hear the shakiness in her voice.

Maria squeezed her arm lightly. “She loves you. And right now she doesn’t think that you love her back, which I know isn’t the case.”

“How? You don’t know what I’m feeling,” Alexia felt her defensiveness kick in. “What if she’s right and I don’t love her, not even a little bit?”

Maria shook her head and gave a soft smile. “You seem to forget that I’ve been in your place before. I know what it looks like to love y/n—to be in love with her. You can’t lie to me.”

Alexia crossed her arms. She didn’t know why she was getting annoyed at where the conversation was going. “Then why don’t you go be with her?”

Maria laughed at that. “Because she loves you, not me, silly. Plus, I’m in love with your sister.”

Alexia didn’t say anything in reply and Maria took that as a cue to leave. Before getting in her car, she looked at Alexia one last time. “Contrary to what you think, you haven’t really lost her—not for good anyway.”

“I appreciate your optimism,” Alexia replied, her voice lacking any enthusiasm.

“I know that if you show up in front of her right now and tell her how you really feel, she’ll take you back in a heartbeat. She loves you.”

“Then why did she ask you to pack her things?” Alexia challenged back. “If she still loves me like you claimed, wouldn’t she be fine with seeing my face and not having to avoid me? And she wouldn’t just- just leave.”

“Ale, you two broke up over something so stupid. I can’t for the love of me figure out why- how something so simple can—” Maria palmed her forehead, letting out a sigh. “Just tell her you love her. What’s so hard about that?”

“Because I don’t know if I do!” Alexia shouted frustratedly. “Okay?”

Maria softened at that and gave Alexia a reassuring smile. “I have a feeling that you already know the answer,” she shrugged. “Think it through. Don’t take too long.” 

And with that Maria left, leaving Alexia standing with your envelope in her hands. She took a deep breath and opened it. Alexia expected a long letter—maybe of you ranting about how much you hated her for breaking your heart, or pages filled with curses and how you never wanted to see her again. But all she got was a small piece of paper with one sentence and a bracelet that Alexia gave you on your one month anniversary.

it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way I do, don't beat yourself up

-y/n

—

When days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and Alexia still hadn’t heard from you, Alexia realized she finally lost you for good. Alexia realized that maybe she should’ve taken Maria’s advice, but she had put it off so much that now it had been months and who was to say that you hadn’t already found someone new? Someone who actually loved you.

The thought caused Alexia to finally bawl her eyes out, exactly three months after you left. Alexia let herself feel all the pain and hurt, savoring every little twinge in her heart because she deserved it all. She hurt you, she didn’t deserve anything good anymore.

Alba pulled her out of bed, telling her to get her shit together and usually Alexia was never the one to dwell on things—once you fall, you get back up. 

But this time it was different. Alexia felt that this was it. How could she recover from all this hurt when all she wanted was your smile back? Alexia thought that if she was given a choice, she would rather lose the Ballon d’Or than to lose you—that was how important you were to her. Alexia knew she was dumb to not realize it sooner.

Despite Alexia’s complete despair about the whole thing, Alba was adamant that Alexia could do something about it. Alba was the one who told her to woman up and chase after her girl and “Seriously, hermana? I know I said you’re terrible at romance but don’t let that define you?! Do something!”

One night, Alexia discovered a pub not far from her place. No one was there except for her and one bartender. It was nice, Alexia could drink as much as she wanted without any judgment from anyone, and most importantly, she could think.

Alexia had a list and it went something like this:

Do I love y/n? 

Can I get y/n back

Do I even deserve y/n back

Am I in love with y/n

Does y/n still love me

How can y/n be so perfect

Do. I. Love. Her

Alexia was brooding and drowning in her sorrows, everything seemed so wrong. It all seemed so difficult and it took hours of being alone, surrounded by alcohol, for Alexia to finally realize that it was actually simple.

Well, the drink definitely helped, but a song was playing on the speakers and Alexia would think that it was odd for a Taylor Swift song to be playing there if it weren’t for the fact that she was the only customer that night and the bartender probably just didn’t care about his song choices.

“Let me get this straight,” Alba said slowly, sipping on her coffee. It was the morning after and a Saturday, Alba was always at Alexia’s at 7 a.m.  “You had an epiphany… because of a song you heard?”

“Yes,” Alexia nodded. “It’s actually very simple.”

“Very simple…?”

“This whole thing. I’m in love with y/n.” Alba choked on her coffee and Alexia patted her back. “A shocker,” Alexia grimaced at Alba’s coughs. “I know.”

“What kind of song led you to this conclusion?” 

“Taylor Swift.”

“No fucking way.”

“What?” Alexia shrugged. “Kissing on sidewalks, light-hearted jokes, coffees at midnight… they’re all simple things but it’s who you’re with that makes it all so special. And I had all the things that the song mentioned with y/n, and they meant a lot to me—even though these things seem trivial, I cherish them a lot because I felt happy and- and in love. I get it now.”

Alba was stunned, Alexia could see with the way her eyes were widened and mouth agape.

“So this is definitely months overdue. Maybe I should’ve looked for y/n right after Maria took her things away, but it is what it is. I want to make things right. Help me, please.”

“Finally,” Alba sighed, a smile slowly forming on her lips. “I know where she lives now. Will you promise me not to break her heart anymore, because she's my girlfriend’s best friend and I really can’t have you breaking her heart again.”

Alexia grinned as Alba told her your address.

—

To get you back, Alexia had a plan (courtesy of Miss Taylor Swift):

Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain

Say “It’s been a long three months and I was too afraid to tell you what I want”

Say “I want you for worse or for better. I would wait forever and ever. Broke your heart, I'll put it back together”

Remind her how it used to be

—

“Hi.”

Your eyes immediately widened once you saw Alexia. 

You stared at the girl in front of you for a good minute. Alexia had to hug herself tighter, her teeth chattering from the cold. “Are you going to let me in? Besides it being so cold, I don’t want your neighbour to see me in these.” Alexia gestured towards the baby pink sweatshirt with tiny puppies she was wearing. 

“You’re—”

“Insane?” Alexia grinned. Exactly like what the Taylor Swift song said. This was going as planned.

“No- well that too,” you said, looking at Alexia in disbelief. “What I meant to say is that you’re drenched.”

“Yes,” Alexia agreed. “It is raining.”

“Exactly! Why are you out in the rain?”

“Because- because I’m supposed to stand here like a ghost, shaking from the rain.” Alexia had a smile on her lips, hoping that you would smile back at her because that would mean that you didn’t hate her.

So when you laughed in disbelief and shook your head, ushering her inside, Alexia breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Do you want some tea?” you offered.

“No, thank you.”

“Right, my bad,” you opened your fridge, taking something out. “What I meant to offer is milk,” you placed the tiny sized milk carton on the kitchen counter and sat across Alexia. “I still can’t believe you drink this.“

“You don’t drink milk,” Alexia stated.

You shrugged, your cheeks showing a hint of pink. “This has been a permanent thing on my grocery list. It’s second nature. I guess.”

Alexia stayed silent. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she wasn’t expecting this. Maybe she was expecting you to hate her. For you to slam the door in her face and never talk to her again. 

With how your last interaction turned out, Alexia was expecting you to be more angry, or to be anything other than to welcome Alexia into your new apartment and provide her with her favourite drink that you still bought even though you two broke up months ago.

It wasn’t making any sense to her. 

“How are you so civil towards me?” Alexia blurted out.

“I’m sorry?”

“You didn’t slam the door in my face.”

You looked confused. “Was I supposed to do that?”

“No!” Alexia quickly said. “I mean- it’s nice that you didn’t slam the door in my face. I think I would’ve, if I were you.”

“Oh. Well. I don’t think I’m the type to slam the door in my ex’s face.”

Alexia laughed softly. “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” you grinned. A warm feeling settled in Alexia’s chest because she really missed that smile.

The silence that followed was nice. Alexia’s eyes darted around your apartment as she sipped on her strawberry milk. You poured yourself a cup of tea and it was still funny how your choice of drink was more mature than Alexia’s despite being five years younger than her. 

“So what brings you here?” you broke the silence.

“Oh,” Alexia rubbed the back of her neck. “Why I came here…” Alexia trailed off.

“Why you came here…” you copied.

Alexia gave a nervous laugh. She had a whole speech planned out, but now you were staring at her and Alexia was surprised that your eyes that used to look at Alexia with so much love were still looking at her the exact same way. 

That, and combined with the fact that Alexia couldn’t spot a single trace of anger in your face despite what Alexia did, made her burst into tears.

Here was the thing: Alexia disliked crying. That was obvious with the way Alexia cried for you months after you left and not the days that followed. Alexia was convinced that crying was a sign of weakness, so whenever she felt hot tears at the back of her eyes, she would always squeeze her eyes shut and push them away.

It was surprising to her that she was openly letting her tears fall in the middle of her ex’s kitchen, her chest shaking as her cries became harder.

Alexia felt you next to her and the next thing she knew, she was being pulled into your arms. She could hear the pounding of your heart and she could feel your gentle kisses on the top of her head. It felt good and it made Alexia realize that letting her emotions show wasn’t so bad.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“I’m really sorry for being so oblivious about things,” Alexia croaked out. “Sorry for hurting you. I never meant to.”

“Alexia—”

“Let me finish,” Alexia interrupted, turning in her chair to face you. She looked up into your warm eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. Just like what she practiced. “Uhm- it’s been a long three months. I was too afraid to tell you what I want—”

“You are not quoting Taylor Swift,” you were holding in your laughter. “Are you?”

“y/n,” Alexia groaned. “I don’t know how to do this, okay? But Taylor Swift said—”

You laughed so hard and Alexia felt the warmness back in her chest. “Sorry it’s just,” you sighed fondly. “You hate Taylor Swift, Ale.”

“I don’t! I just don’t know her well enough to like her,” Alexia corrected. “There’s a difference.” 

“Mhmm, sure.”

“I listened to a couple of her songs and they weren’t that bad. Plus, the lyrics really resonated with me.”

“So all this speech is just you telling me you like Taylor Swift now?”

Alexia rolled her eyes, ignoring your remark. “No. There was one song about being in love, and it was so-” Alexia’s voice grew smaller, her cheeks reddening before she could finish her sentence. “It describes how I feel about you. It helped me… understand my feelings.”

You had an amused look on your face, almost smug. Alexia’s face kept on flushing under your gaze. “Hm. How so?”

“Oh you know,” Alexia started fidgeting with her hands on top of the kitchen counter, looking everywhere but you. “Just… That I understand why they lost their minds and fought the wars.”

You were quiet before you burst out laughing. Alexia had an offended look on her face yet she was smiling nonetheless. “Excuse me,” Alexia chastised. “I’m trying to confess something here.”

You immediately pursed your lips but not a second later the laughters were back. “Sorry,” you said once your laughter died down. “You’ve been quoting Taylor Swift the entire night. Who are you, Alexia Putellas?”

“Can you not?” Alexia pouted. “I’m not good at this, you know that.”

Alexia could feel your hands cupping her cheeks, causing them to burn under your touch. All this felt awfully familiar and Alexia had to remind herself that you were broken up.

Taking a deep breath while still having you so near, Alexia continued. “I can’t remember what to say next. Maybe because you’re too close,” Alexia bluntly said. When a hint of hurt and confusion flashed across your face, Alexia was quick to clarify. “You’re making me nervous, y/n. It’s- I’m just so nervous. You know I always get nervous around you. Can you please stand at least five feet away?”

You shook her head in amusement and moved away, sitting on your previous spot across from Alexia. “You’re ridiculous.”

Alexia smiled sheepishly. “I think what’s ridiculous is how we’re broken up yet it doesn’t feel like it right now.”

“It does, doesn’t it,” you had your eyes casted downwards, a wistful smile on your lips. ‘Remind her how it used to be’, checked.

“I’m sorry I screwed things up. You know how dumb I can be sometimes.”

“Yeah,” you scrunched up her nose. “You can be pretty dumb sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“But I still love you nonetheless.” And there it was again, the challenge in your tone. Alexia was transported back to that night three months ago when you left.

“Okay…” Alexia dragged on. “I know what you’re expecting and honestly I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it but—” Alexia took a deep breath. 

“I don’t have much experience with love and believe it or not, I’ve never been in love before. I just don’t find it important. What was important to me was football and being the best in the world, making sure my legacy lives on and how my dad would be proud of me, wherever he is. So if you’d ask me what love was a year ago, my paper would turn out blank, because I just don’t care. Alba kept on making jokes about how I’m going to end up alone and—” Alexia laughed. “Frankly, it wasn’t even a joke because I was pretty sure it would come true. But then I met you, and I was so determined to prove Alba wrong because I can care about someone other than football, but then you left, and I was back to the sinking feeling that maybe I’m just not meant for anyone. And before you say anything, y/n, I know I can overthink sometimes—or maybe a lot. But uhm- you being gone, it forced me to think and I realized that it’s actually a lot simpler than what I imagined.”

“Alexia, breathe,” you interrupted, a fond look on your face. 

Alexia took a deep breath, she didn’t realize how much she was rambling. “Sorry,” Alexia smiled sheepishly, scratching at the back of her neck nervously. “What I meant to say is—“

You caught Alexia’s hands that were waving around crazily in front of her. “I think,” you laughed, you intertwined your fingers and Alexia had to take another deep breath because she forgot what a sight it was to see your hands locked. “I really think you should breathe first.”

Alexia gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know why I’m so all over the place with you. I can win championships, but with you… I had to practice my speech in front of a stupid mirror, because I know this will happen. This, as in me throwing up words- God, I’m such a mess.”

“You practiced in front of a mirror?” 

“Huh? Yeah,” Alexia’s cheeks grew red. “Of course I did…”

You let go of Alexia’s hands and leaned back. “Well then, go on.”

“Huh?” Alexia squeaked.

“Yes, your speech. We wouldn’t want your practice to go to waste now, do we?” you were smiling and Alexia really wanted to kiss that smile away. 

“Fine. Yes. My speech.” Alexia took a deep breath. “y/n. Love is… Love is mornings with you and how your smile is the first thing I see when I wake up. Love is the sound of your laughter echoing throughout the supermarket aisle when I did a stupid dance after getting the last box of mac and cheese. Love is the nights spent together, feeling the rise and fall of your chest and how you talk in your sleep. Love is the silence on the way home, when we’re both too tired to talk, but it’s nice and I don’t mind it. Love is the way your hands instantly find mine every single time. And I know that love isn’t perfect because love is me breaking your heart and unknowingly breaking mine too. Love is scary because love is lowering your guards down and putting your heart on a damn silver platter and giving your person the chance to ruin you. But I’d let you, y/n. I’d give you a million chances to ruin me because I love you.” 

Your stare was intense and Alexia had to look away. “Te amo. I do. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, and I know it has been months and a lot has changed… but I’m here, if you want me. I am all yours. Because I love you. I’ve been in love with you ever since the first night, I think.”

Alexia forced herself to look back at you, her eyes locking with her favourite pair of orbs. “I want you for worse or for better, mi amor, and I would wait forever for you. I know I broke your heart, but I promise I'll put it back together.”

You had a smile on your lips and your eyebrow raised after Alexia’s last sentence and Alexia wanted to celebrate internally because maybe Taylor Swift was a genius after all.

But when you didn’t say anything else, Alexia’s smile dropped and she had to accept that you could very well reject her. It had been months. A lot could happen in three months.

Alexia could feel the start of pain in her chest but then you laughed and Alexia’s eyes widened because why would you be laughing if you were going to reject her?

“You love me,” you stated.

Alexia was still staring at you. “I do…”

You went closer to her until your hands were back cupping Alexia’s face and that was when Alexia realized that you weren't rejecting her. Holy shit.

“You dummy,” your tone was light but Alexia turned serious.

“I know,” Alexia sucked in a deep breath. “I was a terrible girlfriend, amor. I don’t know how you loved me when all I did was mess up, but I promise that I’ll be better if you—”

“We all mess up,” you interjected. “We’re not perfect, baby. And you’re gonna mess up again in the future and I will too, but we’ll get through it together.”

Alexia was silent, taking in your words. “So uhm,” Alexia had to contain herself from grinning from ear-to-ear. “You still want to be with me?”

Instead of answering, you leaned down and kissed her. Alexia let herself grin into the kiss and she swore that she would do whatever it takes to never lose you again.

—

Ale: I got the girl *insert smiling face with sunglasses emoji*

Albs: what

Albs: just use the emoji wtf weirdo

Ale: Thank you, Taylor Swift

Albs: you’re seriously so weird

Albs: how are we related?

Albs: but anyway congratulations 

Albs: you won’t end up as a cat lady after all :D

Ale: Fuck off, Alba. You know I’m allergic to cats

—

** INTERVIEW NOTES:

ALEXIA PUTELLAS

SHE SMELLS NICE Y/N !!! FOCUS

VERY SERIOUS, ONLY LAUGHED ONCE

JUST TOLD HER TO SMILE MORE BECAUSE SHE HAS A PRETTY SMILE WILL SHE KICK ME OUT

SHE LIKES TACOS ??? IS THIS EVEN IMPORTANT 

SMART, INTELLIGENT, VERY ELOQUENT WITH WORDS !!! JUST TAKE MY HEART ALREADY ALEXIA PUTELLAS 

HER EYES CRINKLE WHEN SHE LAUGHS OMFG ADORABLE

I THINK I’M IN LOVE

SHE JUST ASKED ME WHAT I’M WRITING DOWN

BYE

—

a/n: this was a looong one hope you enjoyed it, loves !!! please let me know your thoughts :) :) :)

[sleepysnk]

a/n: i was feeling under the weather the past few days and i actually was able to get some inspo for some headcanons! i hope you all enjoy! 🫶🏻 also don’t ever get sick </3 it’s annoying as hell.

characters: manjiro (mikey) sano, ken (draken) ryuguji, baji keisuke, hanma shuji

warnings: fluff, reader is sick, sickness (nothing too bad just a cold), mentions of vomit, mentions of food, use of pet names (baby, my girl, princess, babydoll, doll, babe), very very fluffy content.

TAKING CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK.

manjiro (mikey) sano:

- oh boy, expect something a little odd from mikey of all people. he doesn’t really know how to take care of someone when they’re sick.

- you had woken up in the middle of the night shivering your ass off. it took you forever to fall back asleep, but when you woke up the next morning, you felt awful. you kept breaking out in cold sweats and your body just get terribly achy the whole time. you assumed you had caught something from someone at work, because many of your coworkers called out a few days prior because of illness.

- mikey decided to swing by when you didn’t show up at your usual meeting spot earlier in the day. he grew curious on your whereabouts, so he made his way to your place and found you swaddled in blankets and the most comfiest clothes you could find.

- completely dumbfounded. he honestly thought you were planning some kind of sleepover or something.

- “babe, why are you doing that? did you plan something without me?! your own boyfriend!”

- then when he noticed how uncomfortable you looked, he picked up on the fact that you were clearly unwell. there were tissues scattered along your bedside table and your skin looked a bit lighter than it usually would. you also seemed fairly exhausted and it made your boyfriend worried.

- you tried telling him to leave because you didn’t want him to catch whatever you had, but he refused. he told you time and time again that you were his girlfriend and it was his job to take care of you.

- mikey decided to go out and find you whatever you needed (with the help of draken of course). he found whatever he could to possibly make a person feel better. soup, medicine, gatorade for the electrolytes, etc! he also had to buy himself a dorayaki on the way, but otherwise he managed to find some pretty nice things for you to feel at ease.

- he actually makes a nice bowl of soup for you to enjoy. mikey also makes sure to lend you one of his sweaters so you don’t get cold at night. it’s super adorable and he honestly gets so worried 😭. he makes you call him every night before bed so he can make sure you haven’t somehow passed away or something.

- you guys can’t kiss, but he makes sure to give you a nice forehead smooch every time he swings by your place.

- he is so salty he can’t makeout with you :/.

- when you start to feel somewhat better, he comes over and watches movies with you. you find that his presence helps you sleep a little better. he probably rubs your head and let’s you lay on him so you can get a nice rest. it’s so cute and he sometimes whispers nice things in your ear so you can feel more relaxed. he’s such a sweet boy <3.

- he’s a sweetheart, don’t ever lose this man.

draken (ken) ryuguji:

- he’s such a good boyfriend. i can’t help but say this every time i talk about this goddamn man. i think you can expect the best from draken of all people.

- you had gotten home from work and you were honestly exhausted. you thought you needed a nap or something, but that wasn’t the case. you woke up the next morning with the worst headache ever, and your throat felt like it was sandpaper every time you swallowed. draken noticed your change in behavior immediately, and was very concerned by it.

- draken instantly went into protective boyfriend mode. he made sure that you were keeping yourself hydrated and getting lots of rest, because he didn’t want something bad happening to you. you were his baby. he worried for you more than anything else.

- i hc this man knows how to cook a good meal for you. he definitely went to the grocery store and picked up some stuff for you. he’d make a really nice soup that’d make you feel all warm and fuzzy. it’s all you really feel like eating during the time you’re unwell, so expect lots of soups and other things of the sort. other foods taste horrendous and you can hardly stand them.

- he’s like a total caregiver. he checks on you every chance he gets and always makes sure you’re doing okay. draken constantly reminds you to take your medicine and eat and drink properly. even if you hate it, he’s always making sure you’re okay. he could never lose you.

- “hey baby, how’s my girl doing today? you take your medicine? make sure you finish up your soup. i’ll bring you extra water too.”

- he LOVES to take showers with you. he knows you two shouldn��t be that close, but he also wants you soothe your worries. i feel like he’d be the type to give you massages and help clean your body. he wishes he could kiss you, but he knows that he’ll fall ill. he doesn’t want to burden you with that, so he makes sure to hug you from behind or kiss the top of your head.

- hoodies. hoodies. hoodies. he will give you all of them so you feel warm at night. don’t worry, he’ll also make sure to cuddle you if you have a chill from a fever. he knows how hard it can be to deal with one, so he’ll be by your side for all of it!!

- he so puts the blankets in the dryer so they’re nice and warm for you!

- HE SO WANTS A KISS.

- “no, no kisses.” “aw! come on :(“

- when you start feeling better, he is so relieved to see you back on your feet. you can finally eat regular foods and he’s honestly so glad that you’re back to your usual self. he’d honestly probably cook you something, like a favorite dish. you’d thank this man for everything because he was truly a savior while you were sick in bed.

- however.. he does feel a scratch in his throat later on.

baji keisuke:

- say what you want, but this man is kind of dense. i’m not saying he’s dumb or anything like that all the time, but he can be clueless.

- you woke up the previous night feeling horribly nauseated. your stomach was in knots and you actually ended up catching some kind of stomach bug. you also threw up in the bathroom and it was horrible. you weren’t sure how you had gotten sick, or where you could have gotten the bug, but it was hell. you could hardly fall asleep that night from the stomach pains you felt.

- baji knew something was off the next day when you didn’t come swing by his house like you usually did. he grew really worried so he took a trip and found you in your bed, curled up in a ball looking not so great.

- he honestly thought you were pranking him or something. you had done it before.

- “hey, get up. i know you’re messing around with me right now.”

- after sort of yelling at him, he quickly realized you weren’t joking. he could see how sick you looked and he felt guilty for not believing you. you explained that you hadn’t felt great and you were throwing up your guts the entire night. he wondered if it was because you had eaten at a new restaurant just a few days prior. however, that shouldn’t have been the main focus. he wanted to be a good guy and take care of you because he felt horrible seeing you that way.

- he went to the store and bought you things that could soothe your stomach. his mom had informed him that it’s best to eat soft foods when suffering with a stomach virus, so he bought you some soup and make sure to give you extra water.

- he’s the type to rub your tummy if it feels upset or tight. he knows how bad those stomach aches can be, so he’d make sure to massage you nice and well. also, if you do end up throwing up again, he will hold your hair back and clean up any messes you might make. he’s gonna deal with it all, and he doesn’t care about anything but your well being.

- “baby, drink your water. don’t forget to! i don’t want you feeling worse!”

- total worrywart. he hates to admit it but seeing you in such a state makes him feel so bad 😭. he knows he shouldn’t feel bad, but he just can’t help it. you’re his girlfriend and you mean the world to him. he wouldn’t want something bad to happen to you because he wasn’t there to properly take care of you. that’s why he’s sticking by your side as much as possible.

- he probably would lay with you in bed while you tried to take a nap. he’d be running his fingers along your skin and trying his best to soothe any pain you might have. it’s super cute and he sweet talks you the entire time to make sure you feel relaxed.

- eventually, the bug passes and you feel a lot better within the coming days. poor guy was so fucking worried but you managed to pull through it without any issues. baji probably reminds himself to never let you eat at that restaurant again 😭 and he also makes a note to never go there either.

- better thank him, because you’ll get lots of cuddles and kisses in return ;).

hanma shuji:

- hanma is a very busy man. he has shit to do and things to take care of, like you, but he was completely blindsided when you started to feel sick.

- you were a shivering mess the previous night when you were trying to fall asleep. you just couldn’t get warm and hanma woke up to you shaking like a leaf next to him. he assumed that maybe the heater had turned off or something, but when he awoke the next morning and heard you coughing up a lung, he knew something wasn’t okay with you. it was really worrying for the man.

- “hey, i’m taking you to the doctor, doll. put on something warm.”

- the doctor eventually revealed that you had the flu. your temperature was fairly high and he prescribed some medications for you. hanma was relieved to know that it wasn’t anything too bad, but he wanted to be a good boyfriend and care for you. he hated seeing his princess all sick and exhausted in bed, so he figured he’d help you with it all.

- such. a. fucking. king. he’d take a few days off of work and tell anyone who protests to go fuck themselves.

- hanma would definitely make sure you’re comfortable at home. he buys you plenty of tissues, ibuprofen, etc! he also lets you wear his clothes because he knows you’ll be more comfortable that way. he cooks you some nice food as well, and he even serves you tea for your sore throat. it’s all really sweet, so expect the real princess treatment if you’re not feeling good.

- he also doesn’t care if you get him sick. he’ll cuddle with you, kiss your head, hold you, everything. he’s like a damn furnace and his body heat honestly helps with the chill that comes with a fever.

- “just come here, babydoll. it’s just a little cold or whatever.. could care less about myself.”

- he makes sure you nap often. sleep is honestly some of the best medicine a human being could have, so he lets you fall asleep in his arms a lot. it usually happens after you’ve eaten some soup or watched a movie with him after a really long day. hanma will always make sure you’re well rested and taking care of yourself. it doesn’t matter how far he may be or what the risks might be.

- has probably teased you a few times for being sick 😭. he’d poke fun at you by cleaning up your tissues and making a gross face whenever he sees the snots all over them. you know he’s joking but you can’t help but throw a damn pillow at his head.

- when he does go back to work, he makes sure to call you and check in as many times as he can. he reminds you to take your medicine and that he’ll be home as soon as possible to take care of you. it doesn’t matter how much you reassure him, he will blow up your damn phone to make sure you’re not dead or anything. it’s super cute though. he always knows what to say to make you feel much better.

- once you do get better, he’s very relieved. your fever broke and you were feeling much happier within the coming days. hanma gave you all the kisses and lovings he could possibly give out. it’s super cute.

- he’s such a sweetheart ugh 🥲.

[katlyntheartist]

Knuckle series is out!! Any thoughts? Does it affect your Jojo and Gang au?

Spoilers for the Knuckles series people! Avert your eyes children!

First, let's talk about the things I liked:

- Sonic and Tails were great for as little screen time as they had. And Maddie trying to be patient with Knuckles while also not strangling him was great, haha. As someone who worked at a Daycare, I related to her dealing with kids like Knuckles and Maddie's facial expressions when she was grounding Knuckles were on point. Also THEY HAVE A PLAIN BED FOR TAILS AND A TRUCK BED FOR KNUCKLES AHHHHH!!!!!

-Pachacamac is a Jedi Force ghost? Alright then. I don't know much about this character outside of Sonic X but I thought that he was fine. And Christopher Lloyd does a great job as usual.

-Wade was not terrible. I like how he has some character growth through the series and at the end he isn't a master warrior/fighter. He's still a goofball but now he's thinking things through and using what he has and his current surroundings to his advantage in a fight, and isn't just hiding and waiting for Knuckles to save him. But him breaking out of the cage in episode 4 was a bit ridiculous. What was that cage made of, cardboard? He really should have broken his hand or something.

-I liked the villains but I wish that we got to see them more involved in the story, especially the buyer. Who was menacing for about five minutes and then was crushed to death like, dang 0-0

-NANA WHIPPLE AND KNUCKLES SPINOFF SHOW PLEASE!!

-Knuckles was the best part of the show. He's the strong tough warrior but with a big heart and good intentions, though a bit misguided at times. Idris did a great job, nothing new there.

And now let's get into the things I didn't like:

-The show is %70 Wade bowling story and %30 Knuckles adjusting to earth and his backstory with Pachacamac and his tribe and his connection to the master emerald and everything else that the show should have been about. The Wade sub plot takes up so much time that we don't get to explore Knuckles. I wished that we had gotten to see him learn to appreciate and call Earth his new home instead of him just accepting it at the end. It just felt so rushed.

-Episode four wasn't awful but I didn't care for it. Also you can NOT show us the Flames of Disaster from '06 and not have Silver or Blaze show up. You can't do that >:(

-Knuckles and Maddie didn't get to have a heart to heart conversation which is what I and many others thought that was what the show was building up to. Also he never gets in trouble for running way and we never cut back to seeing Maddie or Sonic and Tails realizing Knuckles is gone, or even Sonic and Tails trying to cover for Knuckles. I get that the CGI was expensive and voice actor and actor schedules might not have worked out for it to happen, but my point still stands.

-Wanda was useless and you could have cut her out and lost nothing. Don't get me wrong, the actress is good but she feels wasted here. Her character is so annoying and serves no purpose other than to be mean to Wade. And why do we have to have the "siblings who hate each other but make up at the end" cliche? I would have liked Wanda more if she was nicer to Wade from the start and if they had a fun sibling bond with each other. Also if she was able to actually use her skills as an FBI agent to at least hold her own against the gang when they attack Nanna Whipple's house. Also the dad needed to be more comedically villainous, he was too generic.

-Like I said the villains here are fine but the Buyer's whole character is to just show up, have a cool robot fight, and die. We don't get to see him be a threat to Knuckles at all, he just appears for the climax and then is offed in a snap. And the two agents were fun but a lot of their dialogue was graining.

-And that leads me to the main problem with the series. The writing. I'm aware that the writers for the main movies didn't work much on this series, except Jeff did do the first episode. Which is why it's the best one. There is no balance between the jokes and the emotional moments. The show is so focused on trying to make you laugh every five minutes that it sacrifices genuine emotional growth for the characters especially for Knuckles. You know, the whole reason for the show existing in the first place. It suffers the same problems that the live action Ton and Jerry movie had, where the main stars weren't allowed to be the main stars of their film. All of the screen time there went to the human characters who weren't interesting or just plain annoying and mean.

And the dialogue for the show teeters back and forth between actually funny/well written and being dangerously close to obnoxious. And kids shows having jokes all the time isn't a problem. Rottmnt and the Lego Movies are both kid properties that fire off a joke every minute but they knew when to cut back and let the emotional moments shine. The jokes in the Knuckles show felt more like they were pandering to four year old's then actually trying to be funny and the emotional moments felt kind of forced.

I don't want to give any of the writers or anyone who worked on this show a hard time. I can see that everyone worked hard and had fun with this. And I had fun too. There were some good moments between Knuckles and Wade and even a few jokes that got me. But the problems I listed above are just to hard for me to ignore. If you liked the Knuckles series then great for you! I'm happy you were able to have a great time! But for me it was just ok.

Not great. But not bad either. 5/10.

Now, about this affecting Jojo and Gang. I think what I'll do is have comic take place a month after the Knuckles series. And use my AU to focus on Knuckles getting accustomed to Earth and learning to call it home. Basically my AU will do what the Knuckles series didn't.

[thepepsislvt]

Giggles i did it :)

god i want to figure skate so bad like its honestly one of my dreams

i also have some cool hockey sticks just chillin in my room :)

Hockey Player!Bartolomeo x Gn Figure Skater Reader

all growing up you had always wanted to be a figure skater. but due to financial circumstances in your family you never got the chance to take any kind of classes. When you turned 17 you got your first job, you used the money from that to pay for classes on the weekend. it was exhausting juggling school, work and classes but you knew that one day it would all be worth it.

Now that youre 19 and in college you have even less time to practice. One of your friends had helped you sign up for your first competition and you were terrified. At least entering the competition and doing well enough will maybe grab the attention of the judges and people who came to look for potential upcoming skaters. on the day of the competition during winter break, you spent all day at the local rink warming up and practicing. there was only usually only a few people on the rink during the morning so it was the perfect time to practice.

your practice went smoothly. the only hiccup you had was when you ran into someone else on accident. He apologized and told you to look out next time. other than that everything was perfect.

During the competition you tried so hard to stay out of your thoughts and focus on your movements. Your family and friends came out to watch it in support. You ended up in second place but that impressed you even. you didnt think you would make it in the top 3. you went out to celebrate with your friends and planned out more competitions.

Within the year you had won several competitions and now had a spotlight on you. News crews from the town you were in came and interviewed you. Your name was widely known in your college and throughout the state. most people were shocked when you tell them that you knly started skating for 3 years.

Now at 20 you practiced a lot more for upcoming competitions. You would see a lot of other skaters and hockey players go in the rink to practice in the morning before the rink became busy. one of the hockey players you had become close friends with. His name was Bartolomeo. He looked like your guard dog most of the time because of how “big and scary” he looked. He was really kind to you though.

He would attend your competitions and you would attend his games. He was a really good player. He started out as a goalie but soon his team saw him for the great player he really was. Celebrating a good game or competition with him was fun. It really consisted of raiding a Waffle house and then going back to one of your places to watch a movie or play video games.

You both had set a name for yourselves in your town. since you both were so busy you really didnt get to hang out with him outside of the rink. Regardless it was great to practice with him. You would race each other across the rink (he would always win unless he was showing you mercy that day) and teach each other moves. He let you try on his skates once and not only were they too big but they were way different than the skates you were used to.

Everything was just amazing. Every Time you spent time with Barto you would always be in the best mood even when your day was terrible. Over time you had caught yourself catching feeling for him. you didnt want to ruin your friendship or have your feelings get in the way of your compositions so you pushed your feelings down. On the off seasons when you would have more time to hang out with him this task became harder for you.

Eventually you decided to ghost him to hopefully get rid of those feelings. you would text him less and cancel plans. you felt awful doing so but you didn’t want to risk anything. Bartolomeo noticed this and didn’t appreciate it.

One afternoon when you both weren’t working he showed up at your apartment without texting you first. He stood at your door with pizza and movies.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him standing at your front door in your pajamas, obviously not expecting anyone to be here

“Going to watch some damn movies with you since i know for a fact youre just gonna rot in here all day with nothing to do” He says marching inside proudly

You shrug at him and close the door behind the two of you

“you’ve been ignoring me” He says turning to you after he placed everything down on a table

“I have? I didnt even realize” You quickly say, feeling your heart start to race. you had hoped he wouldn’t of noticed

“yeah, since the summer started I havent seen ya at all”

“oh my bad, been busy i guess” you really didnt want this kind of attention so you tried to push past him to do something else

Barto put his hands on your shoulder making you flinch from the sudden action. He made you look at him

“You know if somethings bothering you, we can talk about it. I just miss seeing you all the time”

You don't look him in the eyes. Feeling your own eyes water you look down and slump your shoulders. Barto took one of his hands off your shoulder and moved to hold your face, making you look back up at him

“Hey, talk to me”

“Barto, please. I like you I just dont want to jeopardize your career because of me. And i dont want you to hate me either” You let tears freely fall down your face

Bartolomeo pulled you in a hug and held you until you stopped crying. After you did you looked back up at him

“You good?” after a nod he continued “I honestly thought you were avoiding me because you caught onto my own feelings for you. I left ya alone for a while but I just really miss you and I dont want to lose you as a friend in my life. We can take things slow if you want to”

After another nod from you you hugged him again tighter than before

“It just takes some time, but everything will be alright” He head butted your head and smiled at you

[borderlinereminders]

You look absolutely gorgeous, especially in that dress! And the pictures are absolutely beautiful…

Genuinely those pictures made me a little weepy, to see such pictures from someone who is like me, in terms of having BPD, makes me a little more hopeful for love and the future

Awe I’m so glad, anon!

I spent a lot of years struggling. I ended up in the psych ward multiple times. Attempted to end everything more than once. Hated everything. Thought nothing was worth it. I was so angry at the world. And at everyone. I’d lash out and accuse my loved ones of not caring. People kept leaving me because of how I was. I’d have breakdowns almost daily and in some cases, multiple times a day. And everything felt so dark and hopeless.

I am sharing this because I want to talk about how things can get better! And there is hope! There is so much hope!

Stuff isn’t perfect now but I’m overall happy. I haven’t attempted to end my life for 6 years or been in the psych ward! I haven’t self harmed for 7. I have a wonderful dog who is my world. I have a loving husband who goes above and beyond for me even more so than the most romantic men from romance movies.I have a best friend who my friendship with outshines even the best friendships in movies/shows. (Yes, even Sam and Frodo). And while I still have bad days, I am able to handle those bad days in a lot healthier ways which makes them not spiral as bad.

People don’t leave me anymore because I’ve learned to communicate in healthy ways and foster healthy relationships. Now friendships end because I realize they aren’t for me. Things like people taking advantage of my compassion and stuff like that. Which means I also stand up for myself and feel comfortable ending friendships because I’m not so scared I’ll be alone. I used to tolerate a lot of bad friendships because I was so desparte for friends.

Sometimes things do feel dark but I also understand that it’s temporary and things will be good again.

Sorry for the long ramble but I wanted to express that things were so terrible for me and now they aren’t. Things can get better. It takes a lot of work but it’s so worth it. And I’m happy.

I believe you can have a happy future, anon. I really do.

[crabonfire]

poly tf2 mercs x reader??

lmao sorry- my mind cant make up which character to like so

you have no idea I have been YEARNING for someone to request this! I'm literally polyamorous myself and oh my god thank u so much!!! I let out a loud squeal when I read this bcs I was so happy

Poly!Mercenaries X Reader!

characters: all mercs :)

Scout and Pyro

Engineer, Demoman and Soldier

Spy and Sniper

Heavy and Medic

warning: none!!!

note: reader is gender neutral! plus if u like this I might make a part two with different polyamorous mercs :D

♡Scout and Pyro♡

• scouts love language is acts of service and pyro's is quality time.

• someone needs to put all three of you in a psych ward

• sometimes when you all go on a walk in the street Scout will accidentally cause trouble with someone and Pyro will join in and fight them and you either join in or get them out before the cops come.

• oh my god.

• they're pretty fun to be with. Scout is usually a flustered mess whenever Pyro or you show any affection towards him due to the fact he had to fight for affection from his mother as a child. Its new to him, especially by two of the people he adores.

• Pyro and Scout draw together, and whenever your down they will both make you doodles of stuff that makes you happy. They will make your room super comfortable while Pyro gets a bunch of snacks from the fridge, sitting together to get ready for movies!

• You guys have this thing where whenever one of yall are feeling down, Scout goes to buy an insanely terrible movie and the last person to laugh or groan at the movie wins. It really cheers you up.

They're not the best at comforting words, so they show comfort by actions.

They're both pretty clingy! An hour away from you Pyro is already whining while Scout is just trying to make due. But usually they'll still have a good time together, sometimes going on their own dates while your away.

If they go somewhere, they'll get you something from there as a "souvenir" and beg you to come there the next time they go so nobody gets left out.

• Scout loves peppering the both of you with kisses, he doesn't mind that Pyro has a mask usually he'll be silly and blow Pyro a kiss from the distance. It makes the both of you giggle, he's such a goof.

Pyro gives you both mask kisses...Well more like boops. Though if your far into your relationship, day by day he'll start opening up more about himself. He starts by not wearing gloves around you, to lifting his mask up slightly to give you both a proper kiss. (random but I headcannon my boy has a tooth gap :D)

It makes both of your hearts melt to know he trusts you enough to do this, and he's thankful for your patience.

The three of you look very chaotic to other people but alone together you are just real sweet to each other. They both get so calm around you that they don't feel the need to show off or cause chaos, yall just wanna hang out sometimes yk?

♡Engineer, Demoman, and Soldier♡

• Engie's love language is quality time, Demo's is words of affirmation, and Soldier's is acts of service AND quality time.

• goddamnit yall r so cute

• the actual power couple

• Let me describe to you what they are like

Dell's the calm one, he's usually the one getting the three of you out of trouble but he himself loves a little fun sometimes.

Demo is the fun one, he always takes you all out on interesting landmarks and sometimes even dangerous activities that might kill you.

Soldier is the loud one, he will not shut the fuck up. He loves to hear yall talk about your day, loves to gossip about how work has been, but also loves to speak about his achievements and show all three of you off to random people he meets.

• "THIS IS ENGIE! HE HAS 11 PHDS AND HE IS A GENIUS! SMARTER THAN YOULL EVER BE."

"Aw geez Solly, ya don't have to say that..."

And then

"DEMOMAN! BEST FRIEND AND BOYFRIEND, I LOVE HIM. HES VERY SWEET! HE CAN SWOON ANYBODY!"

"Lad...yer makin me blush."

or even

"THIS IS Y/N! ARE YOU SHOCKED BY THEIR GORGEOUSNESS? I AM TOO. DONT GET TOO CLOSE, YOU MIGHT FALL FOR THEM."

"Pfft-Soldier..."

• in general yall r just adorable. They're all so sweet to each other and to you too, yall always eat together and they'll always be there for you if you wanna rant or vent about your day.

All of them are amazing listeners, and good at comforting...how?? How did you get so damn lucky? They'll cuddle up around you as one of them holds you, listening to you talk and ramble about how bad of a day its been.

Soldier will give you a motivational and surprisingly really helpful speech, Demoman will hype you up and tell you it's gonna be okay, and Engie likes to make you your favorite foods to make you feel better.

They're not as touch starved as others may think, but one day they don't see you they start to miss you a lot. Please don't leave them alone for too long, they can go mess around together but it doesn't feel the same with you left out.

♡Sniper and Spy♡

• snipers love language is physical touch and words of affirmation, Spy's is quality time and gift giving.

• you get so spoiled with affection by them

• sniper was always a secluded man, so was spy. But brought together they were amazing....and then your here? The whole relationship is so sweet.

• Sniper will hold your hand any chance he gets, Spy holding your other hand. You three like to go on quiet walks at noon, enjoying the weather and even going to a cafe on the way.

• Spy absolutely spoils the both of you with gifts, expect a gift from him atleast two times a week.

• you guys don't really go to loud areas since Sniper doesn't enjoy them, so your dates are usually real intimate.

I'm talking picnics under a tree as the sun is setting, watching the clouds as the three of you joke and talk about.

Or, romantic dates by the sea...enjoying the scenery and maybe even going for a swim.

You three are the most calm couple out of all of them I'd say.

Even though sniper and spy have many differences, they still are so cute together! they match like puzzle pieces and are great to be with.

• though...there are times those differences do get to them. Sometimes they'd have petty fights over...something. if this does happen, just talk to them both about it and give them some time, they'll just hug it out and it'll be fine then.

• if your ever upset, they will try their best to be there. Sniper will comfort you with the sweetest things you've ever heard, holding you tightly. While Spy gets a reservation at a private restaurant booked for the three of you that night, taking you out and making you forget about your troubles.

♡Heavy and Medic♡

• Heavy and Medic both are acts of service and quality time.

• aw :)

• okay this might be even sweeter than all of them

• the two of them are even more secluded than Sniper and Spy. Medic is usually always in his medbay working away, while Heavy is usually resting, cleaning Sasha, or doing light reading to pass the time.

They're not much talkers unless the topics really interest them, so that's why your here!

The three of you are like that old couple down your street who do the most corny shit ever, knitting for each other except its with medic and heavy and you lmao

• Heavy and Medic teach each other their language, and you get taught too! If you also happen to speak another language, expect them to wanna learn it.

Yall have duolingo sessions and it's the cutest shit ever.

"Okay now say, 'Apa kabar, nama saya' then you say your name."

"...Apa...Kahbar? Nahma saye-"

"Pfft-BAHAHAHHAAHA-"

you laugh your ass off as the two of them are desperately trying to spell what your saying. They end up laughing too! It's a fun thing you three do in as little dates.

(ps what I wrote is read as uh-pah- kuh-bar- nah-ma sa-yuh" it's indonesian!! fun fact otd)

• Heavy likes to write the both of you Russian literature, you both don't quite understand what they mean but after a couple months of studying with him you both melt due to how sweet they are.

• Medic loves to ramble about his experiments, he will never ever ask you to volunteer unless its something that he knows won't hurt either of you.

When Heavy misses the both of you, he will carry you both in his arms and hug yall tightly.

"Heavy has missed you both."

"Aw, I've missed you too babe."

"Ja, its been boring without jou!"

Yall are just really wholesome.

• if your ever upset, truthfully speaking they won't know how to comfort you in words. So they will show it by just being there for you.

Heavy will squeeze your hand while letting you cry into him, as Medic made you tea as it soothes the nerves. They will both just let you cry it all out, not knowing how to reply much.

But the next day, they will just make sure that day is amazing. They will both go out of their way to make sure nothing van ruin your mood for that day to make up for yesterday. Broke your favorite pencil? Heavy will get you a better one. You feel dizzy? Come over to medbay, Medic will prepare and make sure they never bother you again.

They're so sweet it gives you cavities, even though they don't know how to say it, they sure are good at showing you. (I love men sm♡)

Hope u enjoyed!

we need more poly mercs.

-sincerely, a polyamorous person

[ultramanginger]

Alien vs Predator rewatch thoughts...

Since Romulus was coming out, I rewatched every Alien and Predator film in order and I offer a thought for each movie:

Alien (1979)

It's a classic that has some incredible ideas that are still scary and fascinating to this day, but...

Watching it in HD, it's hard to miss some really cringey moments, like the Alien jazz hands and the way that Lambert and Brett's death scenes are so similar that they use some of the footage shot for one for the other.

Not to mention, the more you read about the making of the film, the more you realise it being good was luck rather than skill, as so much of it was the way it was to keep costs down. A lot of what Scott would have done with more budget and freedom would have been just awful.

Still great, still a classic, but not even the best of the franchise, let alone reason to consider Scott the one to make Alien great again...

4 stars

Aliens (1986)

Perfect movie. No notes.

5 stars

Predator (1987)

Exceptional action movie and an exceptional scifi horror at the same time. Like Alien, it would have been terrible if not for blind luck. None of the pieces should have worked together, but somehow the whole ascended above the sum of the parts.

5 stars

Predator 2 (1990)

Much maligned and it is VERY 90s, not to mention it meanders around a lot of filler. Focus on the good parts, however, and there are great ideas and some great scenes. A worthy classic.

4 stars

Alien3 (1992)

The making of this movie is absolutely a better story than the plot. Taking a script about the devil on a wooden space station and turning it into a popcorn horror flick was impossible, even for Fincher, who still deserves credit for making something so incredibly fucking bleak. The effects don't hold up, the edit is a mess, but it's still watchable.

3.5 stars

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Fuck Joss Whedon, but Resurrection is basically an early Firefly pilot and that works. Lots of people don't like the movie as they hate the characters, but they're no less deplorable than any of the other Alien crews.

Is it perfect? no, but this bizarre mix of Alien lore expanded in a crazy direction, Firefly, and French arthouse direction is a hell of a mash-up. Not only does it have some great ideas, but I genuinely enjoy it.

4 stars

Alien Vs Predator (2004)

Cheesy, slightly vacuous, unlikely to win cinematic plaudits, but completely terrible? Not at all.

Event Horizon showed that Anderson can do worthy movies (at least one), and this is not him at his best, but it's still very watchable.

3 stars

Alien Vs Predator: Requiem (2007)

It's obviously not defensible. This movie is trash, but it's probably not as bad as you remember. There are some fun ideas executed passably. There are also some terrible ideas executed poorly. The attempt to do Alien and Predator as a teen horror movie is actually kinda interesting, even if there was no way it would ever work.

2.5 stars

Predators (2010)

Such casual misogyny. Like... so much...

Aside from that, this is pretty good. It still has that classic Alien and Predator luck that salvaged some garbage script ideas (drunk predator motorbike gang?), but overall it does feel more like a fun non-canon EU novel rather than an actual part of the franchise.

Prometheus (2012)

3.5 stars

I went on a journey with Prometheus over the years:

It's a fucking terrible Alien move

Actually, it's not a bad cheesy scifi horror if you pretend it's not an Alien movie

Actually, no, it's still a shit scifi horror, it's just a better scifi horror than it is an Alien movie

Please, someone take Alien away from Scott and send him home?

2.5 stars

Alien: Covenant (2017)

So, Scott started off like:

"No-one cares about the Alien! Let's give them a movie about mental pseudo-archeology that pretends to be an Alien movie!"

With this movie, he was like:

"Sulk. Fine, I guess people like Alien, but lets put Aliens in my mental pseudo-archeology movie so I don't have to admit it sucked!"

It still sucks and this weird hybrid mess is even worse than his straight mental pseudo-archeology movie.

Not to mention, why did they finally let him do Alien sex, even if it was just watching? Please keep him away from these movies!

2 stars

The Predator (2018)

Woof. I thought Predators was offensive.

How a man with Tourettes can make a character with Tourettes feel inauthentic and offensive, I don't know, but Black managed it.

This had so much potential with Shane Black writing and the cast and the budget, but it's just total crap. Yes, they completely reshot the ending, but even the original ending sounds bad.

2.5 stars

Prey (2022)

Just a complete joy. This is all I want from a Predator movie and movies in general. That this not getting a cinematic release put people off is ridiculous. Go watch it.

5 stars

Alien: Romulus (2024)

Attempting to connect Alien with Prometheus in the final act was stupid enough to put people off a movie they admit was otherwise perfect. This shows just how bad Prometheus was and why Scott needs to go.

Yes, the final threat is not ideal and no-one wanted a reference to Prometheus other than Scott, but this movie is otherwise so good that you HAVE to forgive that, particularly if it spawns a new franchise of good Alien movies without Scott.

5 stars

[sophia-sol]

A "don't need to know canon" rec list

I was having a conversation with some folks on mastodon a little while ago about the practice of reading fics for fandoms you're not familiar with, and why it works for some people and not others. I understand both approaches, but I am firmly in the camp of being happy to read a fic whether I know the fandom or not, as long as it looks interesting to me!

The particular pleasures are different, but both ways are good: fic about fandoms you know is pleasurably wallowing in an ongoing conversation about something you love (…or love to hate), whereas fic for unfamiliar fandoms is having fun eavesdropping on someone else's conversation and working out a puzzle while enjoying a good story.

But some fics work better than others for reading without canon to contextualize them, and although I'm up for some challenges, you don't actually have to play this game on hard-mode. So I'm here to provide a rec list of fics I have enjoyed without canon knowledge that I think are more broadly successful for that purpose. I hope you find some to enjoy here too!

Arranged alphabetically by fandom.

The Improbable Future, by marycontraire

6k words, not rated

The fandom: crossover between Boy Meets World and Girl Meets World, which are presumably related to each other, though I don't even know what medium they are in.

The fic: A story about family, especially the relationship between a preteen girl and the surrogate father figure in her life. Extremely heartwarming!

Sentimental Reasons, by Frostfire

16k words, rated T

The fandom: Casablanca, one of those famous classic black and white movies, about war

The fic: focuses on the story of a character who is a minor character in the original movie, which allows you to follow the story easily without knowing the original. All Sam wants to do with his life is play music, but racism and war have a tendency to intervene. The story revolves around his relationship with another man, Richard. I love Sam, and I love his pov in this fic. It's an incredible read!

One More Time With Feeling (or, Charlie Brooker and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day), by marginaliana

50k words, rated E

The fandom: british comedians rpf, ft. comedians I've never heard of

The fic: Timeloop! The classic groundhog day experience! And this was a really impressively done timeloop fic. I was particularly impressed with how well the character arc for the protagonist went from totally-an-appalling-asshole to only-normal-level-sympathetic-asshole, and how it shows some of the ways that being in a timeloop can be really awful. And yet - happy ending! Impressive.

The Retirement of Gabriel Argent, by Sixthlight

5k words, rated T

The fandom: Daniel Blackland, which is, I believe, a book series?

The fic: is about two characters who are not Daniel Blackland. It's about finding a way to live a peaceful life that actually makes you happy, when you never thought such a thing would be possible. It's lovely!

go pick out a white dress, by novembersmith

1k words, rated G

The fandom: Deepwater Bride, by Tamsyn Muir, which I'm guessing is a short story.

The fic: a delightful uhhhh one-sided romance about an eldritch sea monster who is really into a human, much to the dismay of, well, everyone. But the eldritch being will not be disheartened! Such a charming voice.

Hesitation Waltz, by cranialaccessory

20k words, rated T

The fandom: From Eroica With Love, which I know literally nothing about

The fic: Two cold war era spies have to pretend to be married for a case. One of them is flamboyant and foppish, the other is grouchy and bad at acting. Together they learn things about teamwork and trust! (and that they're into each other.)

confirmation bias, by novembersmith

14k words, rated E

The fandom: Integrate, which I'm guessing is a book

The fic: This is the fic that instantly came to mind when I first thought of making this rec list. I love it. It's a totally adorable alien/human interspecies romance, from the pov of the alien, who of course finds the human the alien one. Every single thing in the fic is a delight.

Get Up, and Go Forth, by Frostfire

15k words, rated T

The fandom: the tv show Kings, which I once tried and failed to watch, but is loosely based on the biblical story of David and Jonathan

The fic: Hey, it works just fine as bible fanfic instead! (I'm afraid I don't know how it would read if you aren't familiar with the biblical story. My parents were rigorous about making sure I would be biblically literate.) The fic focuses on the Jonathan character, here called Jack, as he explores what it means to be on David's side instead of his father's. I have reread this fic so many times. It's just so well done!

A Divinely Attractive Arrangement, by Fahye

6k words, rated T

The fandom: the movie Love and Friendship. I've read the book Love and Freindship [sic] but the movie, despite the name, is not actually based on the book!

The fic: featuring the pov of the most amiably oblivious person in the absolutely entire world as he settles into his recent marriage. He's so genuinely happy about everything in his life! Even as it is obvious to the reader how much the other characters in the story are manipulating him. I love him very much.

This Episode Brought To You By, by ryfkah

6k words, rated T

The fandom: a kdrama, Mr. Queen. Going in I did in fact know a very slim amount about the actual canon, which I believe is a useful starting point for reading the fic: it's a show about a modern chef who transmigrates into Korean history, into the body of a queen; the queen, meanwhile, ends up in the future in the chef's body.

The fic: is about both the chef and the queen, as they explore their identity and their desires through the medium of food, and it is a complete delight.

Sweet In the Gale Is Heard, by Toft

11k words, rated T

The fandom: Pegasus, by Robin McKinley, a novel I've never read despite generally being a McKinley fan because I heard it ends on a cliffhanger and the sequel was never published.

The fic: A fixit for the cliffhanger! Interspecies romance between a human and a pegasus, and absolutely lovely.

Things Which Catch the Eye, by petrichoral

3k words, rated G

The fandom: The Pillow Book, by Sei Shonagon, which is a book I have heard of often over the years but have never actually read.

The fic: ships Sei Shonagon with another woman who presumably appears in the book as well, showing the arc of their relationship in short snatches that come together skilfully. Truly excellent.

you wait and you wonder who'll take on your odds, by paperclipbitch

138k words, rated E

The fandom: The Queen's Gambit, a tv show which I gather is about chess

The fic: An "exes to friends to spouses to lovers" marriage of convenience story. I love how well balanced this is between all the different aspects of things going on: the feelings between Beth and Benny, the working out how to make a life together (separate from the feelings), the chess, the simmering sexual attraction, the other people in Beth's life who are important to her, and Beth's understanding of herself. Really good!

Lebenswerk, by Serena

10k words, rated T

The fandom: Sunset Boulevard, a classic movie about movie-making

The fic: A director's relationship with his star actor, and the things he does and doesn't choose to prioritize over the years. It is interesting, and also rather uncomfortable in places, in ways that are entirely fitting to the story. I was really captivated by it!

Moab, by Parhelion

13k words, rated G

The fandom: an old-school sci-fi book series called The People, by Zenna Henderson

The fic: reads like a lovely, quiet, thoughtful, and kind original scifi story itself, about a human-looking space alien orphan stranded on earth with supernatural powers he has to hide, raised by a woman he calls Aunt, as he finds his place in the world of the early 20th century.

Transformers Works, by astolat

331k words, ratings ranging from T to E

The fandom: Transformers. A tv show (or multiple?) and toys and possibly other media as well? About robot war.

The fic: this is actually a link to all of astolat's fics about transformers. Pretty much every transformers fic Astolat has written is basically: given different base assumptions about how the universe works, how to end the war. And I love all of it, omg, both the different choices of worldbuilding in each fic and also the commitment to ending the war. Pick and choose between the fics for what you want to read!

Variations on a Theme from Turandot, by Ada Hoffman

7k words, not rated

The fandom: Turandot, which I'm guessing is an opera, or maybe a ballet?

The fic: A professionally published story which also happens to be fanfic. Does what it says on the tin! I'm not quite sure I followed the ending, but somehow it works like that even so. I found it so interesting.

A Good Bargain, by Neery

11k words, rated E

The fandom: Word of Honor, a wuxia-genre tv show that I have heard goes as hard on gay themes as it possibly could within the censorship rules it was produced under.

The fic: Does the thing where someone enters a marriage of convenience, but takes their marriage vows seriously and is now firmly working on the side of their spouse. And in this case the spouse knows this about them and planned it on purpose! DELIGHTFUL. I adore it.

[pinkiepiebones]

Renfield Interview Info from SCREAM magazine (and a little bit from "L'officiel Hommes")

-Nicholas Hoult taking about Renfield's growth: "...he ends up in a scenario where he sees an interaction between Rebecca and Teddy... Renfield sees someone who is able to stand up for their themselves, risk everything, and stand by their morals. He feels completely inspired by it because he sees her do the exact thing he's been wanting to do for many decades, but hasn't found the voice to be able to say it. So, he's completely awed and inspired, and that feels like his way out. But obviously, he has a big journey to go on in actual change instead of just the idea of it."

-Following Hoult, the movie's idea man, Robert Kirkman, adds: "There's an admiration for Rebecca that forms very early on in the movie, that drives Renfield to emulate her. Rebecca shows Renfield a different way of living, a different way of existing that is possibly going to lead to something that he never in a million years thought he could attain, which is happiness. We meet him at the beginning of the movie when he's at his lowest point. He has nothing but regrets. There was a tremendous amount of sorrow in his life, and (Rebecca) becomes this beacon of hope that drives him to strive to be something more."

-The writer of the article (Bryan Cairns) writes: "Renfield isn't your ordinary mortal" and that phrasing just tickled me. He's not like ~other~ mortals, he's over a hundred and twenty years old!

-Renfield's powerset includes superhuman strength, endurance, and speed. I wish the speed bit had been played with...

-Director Chris McKay about Hoult: "I have never worked with somebody who wants to do as many stunts as possible... If he wasn't working on first unit, he'd want to go over to second unit so he could be part of the stunts and be in the scene as much as possible. We had a dance scene that we ended up cutting from the movie, he learned all the choreography and threw himself into it. It was incredible to work with so many actors that are nice people and so committed to the movie and characters."

The Hoult interview in "L'officiel Hommes" doesn't have much Renfield stuff but here's what I gleaned:

-First off, his The Great costar Elle Fanning interviewed him for this lol

-Elle: "And you're a good dancer! You do some dancing in Renfield."

Hoult: "Cut! Gone. There was a whole dance sequence that we practiced for weeks. It was a dream fantasy sequence. We shot it all in one night, we had these amazing dancers, and then it's not in the film."

Elle: "That"'s showbiz though, isn't it? That happens all the time. Sometimes the things you're most excited about get cut.

Hoult: "It's been a bit of a learning curve for me; when you get really attached to things in the script, and you put in a lot of effort to learn them, or whatever it might be, and then it just doesn't work in the end." (Aww)

-Elle: "What's with your obsession with vampires? Are you one? Is that why?"

Hoult: "(laughs) That's it. I just like leeches and anything that drinks blood, basically. Mosquitoes, all blood-sucking creatures."

-Hoult asserts that the real bugs he did eat on the set of Renfield were all dead and dried, not alive. He says "I wasn't just randomly picking bugs off the floor" to which Elle responds "if you were a real actor, you would've." XD

-Hoult says that for Robert Eggers's NOSFERATU he was "flirting with an accent" and a dialect coach on set said "Don't do that. That's terrible."

-Hoult says Renfield's voice and accent were mostly just his own voice and accent- contrasted with NOSFERATU, where it's set in a different era and is a serious piece.

So there you have it!!!

[taylortruther]

Who is your favorite painter? I’m usually not someone who gets emotional by paintings but I saw photos of paintings by Gustav Klimt and for some reason it made me so emotional which is odd because that never happens before.

Also if he’s some super awful person, I have no idea. I literally did zero research on him. I just happened to stumble on a photo of ‘ the kiss’ and I had a visceral reaction to it. And then I went and looked at more of his work. It also shows how little I know about art because I’ve been on the planet way too long to have never seen that painting before 💀

omg klimt is one of my favorite painters!! i have a tag just for him (see below)!! oh i love that you had such a strong reaction to him, that's what art is all about!!!!!!!!! i love his portraits, especially judith, but truthfully every klimt is a treat to admire.

i love mucha, because i once saw a theater production of romeo & juliet and the poster was done in his style. i love the way he paints hair, but i also just love that so much of his art is accessible. like, they're beautiful, but he was also illustrating advertising campaigns!

john singer sargent - especially for rosina, capri girl on a rooftop, and his murals in the boston museum of fine art.

frida kahlo, because her command of color and symbolism is just amazing. as an artist and subject, i find her breathtaking. and i feel seen by her mustache and unibrow and the fact that she was so fiercely proud. and this isn't her art, but this photo of her and diego rivera (don't lecture me about their relationship, i know) is one of my favorite photographs in the world. i also just learned about alice rohan, who has kind of a similar place in mexican art, i think? and i also enjoy her.

vermeer, especially for girl with a pearl earing (which i initially learned about from the movie lmao), but the things people say about his control over light and color is just... true. it's incredible given the time. also, the intrigue over the stories behind his paintings really captures the imagination further (uh oh, i have a parasocial relationship with a 1600s dutch master!)

i have recently started loving marlene dumas, who comments a lot on current events/pop culture. her portraits are somehow subtle and grotesque and make me want to keep looking at them.

and i feel the same way about jenny saville - she makes bodies and faces look so beautiful and terrible and fascinating. it feels very REAL. the weight and warmth and blood in all our bodies feels tangible when i look at her art. (these might be nsfw) closed contact?? prop?? magnificent.

i love looking and pondering over joseph cornell's art boxes. i don't know if i *get* them, but i love them. also he's not a painter but whatever.

and for very modern, i enjoy robin isely and fumi nakamura and their work with wolves especially.

[philhoffman]

Ending an awfully rough month with one of the gentlest films for this week’s Monday Philm: A Late Quartet (2012), dir. Yaron Zilberman. Hard to pick just ten shots for this post when the movie—and Phil as Robert Gelbart—are so gorgeous throughout.

In the brief making-of featurette Discord and Harmony, Phil talks about how this isn’t a film where someone is dying, no one is robbing a bank—it’s just about life and regular people going through real struggles in their relationships, reckoning with their lives up to now. That really allows the characters (and actors) to shine, making use of the smallest nuances to show how the quartet has fallen out of tune.

So many little things I love about this film, especially on this watch—Robert’s damp, messy, fresh-out-of-the-shower morning hair at the start. His impression of Daniel’s accent. The balance between the cold, undersaturated blues and greens of New York City in the winter and the rich warm tones found in the music, in bed, in the concert hall. I’m not too familiar with Christopher Walken’s career but he brings such a quiet sadness to Peter’s loneliness. Imogen Poots is overacting but it’s kind of camp? Robert’s gives a little laugh, and PSH’s voice is so deep, so bass, it rumbles the speakers on my old TV a bit. For a film about music, there’s an awful lot of silence—which serves as tension, cut softly by an up-bow or violently by Robert’s outburst. 

Especially loved the scenes of Robert jogging through Central Park, because in less than a month I’m gonna be running through Central Park in this year’s NYC half marathon! It’s a funny, full-circle moment when I think about it, since Phil is one of the primary reasons I’m running it to begin with!

I started rambling a bit here so I’m just gonna throw it under a cut:

I’ve mentioned before that Phil confided in a friend that he felt this was his best performance. It’s interesting to watch A Late Quartet with that thought in mind. His friend partially agreed, later writing that this performance was the start of what should’ve been—the next, deeper, more powerful, incredible chapter of Phil’s career. He is so clear-eyed, so in control of his body, in sync with the story and his fellow actors and the music. He took violin lessons and was quite good, apparently to everyone’s surprise lmao. Robert’s pain goes so deep, uncertainty and doubts and fears of not being good enough stretching back 25 years, and PSH shows it with the tears in his eyes, a quavering voice, glares of restrained fury and deep breaths.

Anyone at all familiar with Phil Hoffman is probably aware of how hard he was on himself—almost comically, often infuriatingly humble and/or self-critical, take your pick. So I’m glad he was proud of this performance and recognized his own strengths here. He was and is so loved, outside of his work, just for who he was, for being himself, someone so many people would move heaven and earth for. I know I would love him anywhere, doing anything. I’d love him if he fulfilled that fantasy of running away to work at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, unknown and unrecognized, or his other idea of moving to France to teach English, or if he stayed at the deli forever. That’s just how the stars are crossed. But I’m also grateful for what he did do, the souls he brought forth from his own, the lives he lived onscreen and left for us. It’s acting and it’s art and it’s so much more.

Feeling especially emotional tonight because it’s the end of February, the longest shortest month, and this has been a particularly terrible one. It’s one of those illogical quirks of love and grief that he is the reason this time is unbearable and he is also the reason I am able to bear it. Gd, words fail. I just didn’t know what life meant until I met him, is all. Love you in the snow and love you in the sun, Phil.

[thenightling]

The Sandman Universe: Nightmare Country: Glass House issue 3 Review:

I just read The Nightmare Country: The Glass House issue 3. I still occasionally mess up the title because there is a Witcher comic called House of Glass. Anyway, it's just kind of... unpleasant. I try to force myself to read it but I'm not enjoying it. It's not as bad as the first Nightmare Country but it's not a nice story. It's decidedly unpleasant. It has that edgy 90s style that got boring by 1998. The Corinthian is the only semi-likable character and that's saying something. That was sort of my problem with The House of Whispers back in 2018. The House of Whispers wasn't terrible but that one was kind of boring where the only points of interest were Anansi (the Spider trickster God) and The Corinthian and how The Corinthian handled those abusive parents. The portrayal of Lucien is just awful. Not only is it flat but the character "Voices" don't feel right. Though The Corinthian is enjoyable his language, his use of words, it doesn't match any previous version of the character. It's very articulate but it doesn't feel like there's a personality in the dialogue. Everyone talks the same. That was a complaint I had back when Caitlin R. Kiernan was writing The Dreaming (1996-2002). Except with her everyone spoke like a cheap 80s action movie character, tossing around the the f word and trying to sound edgy. They don't do that here. In here The Corinthian is relatively well spoken but no one has a truly unique voice, a individual's way of talking. Every character should have their own "voice" a chosen vocabulary, or style of speaking and I'm not seeing that here. It's hard to get into the story when everyone talks exactly the same way except Lucien who... comes off like a self-righteous jerk. It's a bit like Simon Spurrier's version of Lucien in The Dreaming (2018) but not really Lucien of The Sandman by Neil Gaiman. Lucien pretty much shows up just to tell The Corinthian that he asked Daniel what he do if The Corinthian steps out of line and Daniel apparently said he'd unmake him. That's great, you conspire to unmake the only character actually doing anything in this story. Thank you for being completely useless, Lucien. The Corinthian and Lucien both bring up some very good points. The dead girl whose ghost is now residing in the form of a cat (I couldn't be bothered to remember her name) The Corinthian tells Lucien "Did you know she doesn't even like cats?" and Lucien says something to the effect of "The Dream Lord would not have turned her into a cat if she didn't like cats." This does make a valid point. I know Daniel is different than Morpheus but Daniel does share a lot of his traits and memories and Morpheus would never create a raven from someone unless he knew that person would prefer to be a raven than the mortal they had been.

It feels like DC shamelessly tried to make an expansive story out of something that didn't really need or deserve it, such as bringing Thessaly in after the events of Dead Boy Detectives as if to go "See, i is a shared universe!" Yeah, that only works if the stories being connected are... you know... good... This is better than The Corinthian: Nightmare Country in regard to the pacing but it still has that ugly, sadistic, and weirdly dull "gritty" 90s comic book style. I don't know if I can continue reading it just to review it. It's that unpleasant for me. It's not the worst thing I've ever read but I have little reason to want to continue reading it.

[deadrlngers]

2, 5, 7, 10, 15, 20, 30, 35, 45 and 54 for joelle and nina please >:^) <3

hiiii bones thank you so much <33 rubbing my evil little hands rn >:^) otp asks.

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

joelle would freak out lmao. she usually is the one that can find solutions or like, think with a cool mind if there's a problem but when it comes to nina she loses it completely especially if she sees nina in a very panicked state. joelle would start asking profusely "what's wrong/are you alright?" in a progressively more anxious tone until she would receive an answer, that ofc only worsens the situation because imagine waking up all shaken up from a nightmare and someone is throwing at you 300 questions at the speed of light. rip joelle jdfkdk she would offer her a glass of water and would absolutely listen nina talk about her nightmare if she feels like telling her.

nina instead is...calm. she would gently touch joelle's arm, making sure she's alright with physical touch, and then wrap her arms around her and comfort her. ask her what the dream was about and keep her tightly secured between her arms for the rest of the night

5. Describe their cozy night in.

cozy nights in include take out (because sometimes not having to cook your own dinner and having dishes to clean after that is a BIG relief) comfy pajamas, music playing some soft tune that nina would sing along to, then a warm blanket wrapping them together as they watch some cheesy romantic black and white movie. they would pretend to be the main protagonists and repeat some lines to each other with a big grin (the ones they find too cheesy mostly bc they would laugh about it so much djsfk). nina would fall asleep before the end of the movie as always and the morning after joelle would have to tell her the ending

7. Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

nina still has that childlike wonder and joelle can't say no to her wife when her eyes get all sparkly with joy, so yes they would absolutely build a pillow fort together <3

10. Describe their first date.

their first date was a not planned first date sjfdsfk. they talked a few times before that since joelle stopped every morning by the cafeteria nina worked at for coffee before work (the coffee was terrible there and she had to pick another one in a different place after that, still joelle wouldn't admit she went to that specific shop for nina) and one day nina invites her to come see her perform at the local pub. OFC joelle accepts. she gets there 40 minutes earlier than planned and, too embarassed, kept driving around the block until the time to show up was..more acceptable in her opinion.

after the performance, which left joelle in total AWE, they met up and began chatting (more like joelle complimenting nina's singing for one hour straight) and suddenly they are walking around the empty streets at 3 in the morning with no destination in mind but with lots to say to each other. it's nina that has the guts to utter the "i think i really like you" bc joelle would've kept quiet for another month or smth lmao

15. Do they always say 'i love you' before leaving?

not always. when they are leaving for work in the morning there's always a "have a good day, i love you" and a kiss but they don't say it to each other every single time they leave. if joelle says it more than once or twice during the day then nina would playfully tell her that she's "wearing out the words" ndjkfk

20. Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

mmmh okay hard question..i wouldn't exactly say that it perfectly describes their relationship but.. fast car by syd makes me think of them, idk it's the vibes <3

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

they have a very similar fashion style bc they both like to dress comfy. i think that if they had to pick something for the other they would be mindful of what they are comfortable wearing. nina would pick something that makes joelle look classy!! something like a black blouse with a ribbon collar and sheer sleeves and wide-leg pants or whatever they are called. joelle picks something simple instead, a combo of white shirt + sleeveless sweater + checkered pants on the tones of soft brown. she thinks nina looks like a college student like that and finds her incredibly beautiful :3

35. Who's more artistic?

it's difficult to pick one because nina is a singer and joelle a photographer (as a hobby) so they both have something artistic going on within them. i think nina maybe is a bit more artistic than joelle because she expresses her identity, her self, through art and without it she would feel caged

45. Can they fall asleep without the other?

it's hard because they got used to feeling each other's presence on the other side of the bed, just like a reassurance that everything is alright, so it could be hard to fall asleep without the other.

when joelle is left on her own in what's the new reality of the world...well, let's say she doesn't have the best sleep, she doesn't sleep at all tbh, just those few hours that feel enough to keep her on her feet. it's hard. she lost the love of her life and the world isn't exactly the safest place. sleeping is a luxury now

54. Who’s more likely to carry the other to bed?

joelle is <3 because nina usually falls asleep before her and usually on the couch too so joelle's the one carrying her to bed

[james-stark-the-writer]

my thoughts on Netflix's Wednesday

alright so i've been hearing other people's thoughts on the show to see if i missed anything or if someone understood how i felt and yeah these two videos by Mina Le and film fatales pretty much get the basics of why i can't stand the show as an adaptation of the Addams Family or even as its own show.

okay now my thoughts: if you haven't read them yet and would like to, feel free to go read my thoughts on most of the important moments in all the episodes in detail as I experienced them here. the tags are where the juiciest stuff is so make sure to read those actually. anyway, all my previous critiques that I made literally on episode 1 still stand now having finished the show, this is absolutely a horrendously (derogatory) Tim Burton project, it's very much an encapsulation of his worst tendencies to me, a lot of the show is very much "oh we're so edgy and nobody gets me and we're so oppressed because we like being on our own". Tim. you are 64 years old. I think it may be time for a new shtick. teens deserve better than this.

anyway, yeah, the show has a needlessly complex mystery with very predictable endings and just generally bad writing overall and it's just not really that fun? the only real standouts were the dance scene obviously and most of episode 7 like I said. like, episode 7 was genuinely really enjoyable although some of it is just because it's so refreshing after the slop of the rest of the show. it feels like the only episode where the show gets close to actually understanding the Addams Family and like someone actually cared about how things sounded like the dialogue and pacing and everything about it is so much better than anything in the previous episodes. episode 5 is particularly egregious because we literally started the season with Wednesday lamenting how she couldn't successfully kill someone. she (and the rest of the Addams Family) would not give a single flying fuck about Gomez killing anyone. fuck, if they cared, it would be a thing to boast about like Morticia would go: "remember that time Gomez killed a man and saved me?" and vigorously make out with Gomez immediately. the very premise of the episode is flawed. this is an extremely middling mystery show attached to the Addams Family name for mostly marketing purposes. none of it feels like there was any reason for it to feature these characters. also like the Addams' also work best as a family and when contrasted against other "normal" people so separating Wednesday AND throwing her into a school full of freaks who for some reason think SHE'S too freaky???? a highly misguided choice to say the least.

this should have either been a 4-5 episode miniseries or a ~3 hour movie. I would honestly let them keep the fluff too with the movie so you know it's incredibly bloated on a fundamental level. the mystery does not deserve more than a 4-5 hour runtime and the show is absolutely bloated for what it actually does have to offer. Jenna is the highlight of this but also?? every single other actor, with the rare exception of the actors for Pugsley and Fester (and kinda Gomez too like I liked Luis but his material really dragged his performance down), was just awful like they really did not understand how to deliver their lines (although some [most] of that is the writing). even Brienne of Tarth was like ??? not good?? like her material wasn't great, just like everyone else, but every line she delivered was basically the fucking same and she always delivered it with a smile except for a couple of scenes which made her performance really grating after a while. like none of it is completely terrible, most of it is serviceable but they are made so much worse bc Jenna is a goddamn star and fucking kills it in every single scene. she's always at 500% and doing her best even though the writing really does not give her much to work with.

anyway, if you're not a Jenna Ortega stan or really care about Danny Elfman scoring something, feel free to avoid Wednesday, you really won't be getting anything out of it other than bad writing and bad acting and a horrible adaptation of the Addams Family. truly it's not even funny!!!!!!! which is like the one thing anything attached to the Addams Family name should be!! literally only episode 7 had jokes that actually made me laugh. there's a few one-liners that aren't terrible (although most of them are elevated by Jenna's performance, obviously) but generally, most of her one-liners are incredibly predictable and boring and just so dry (negative). if i was dying and could only be saved by laughing at a joke and you put on any episode from this show besides episode 7, i would be dead within the first 2 minutes. they're that bad and boring and basic. genuinely just no real creativity with most of these.

Wednesday is a 5/10 show with only one actually good episode that is entirely carried on the performance of Jenna Ortega and a genuinely really fun Danny Elfman score. I can't say I entirely regret watching it because Jenna is just so damn talented and I'm glad she and Danny got their coin but like wow that was like a waste of my time for the most part. just so not fun and tired and boring and predictable and needlessly edgy with very questionably mixed metaphors about oppressed groups and annoying fucking dialogue clearly written to be posted in gifsets or screenshots. every time the show mentions the patriarchy or how "outcasts" are oppressed, a part of my soul dies. that's on your conscience, Tim.

truly, the only real fun I had with the show was the dance scene, episode 7, Jenna's performance, and the score. everything else ranged from functional to subpar to horrible. 5/10 raised to a 7/10 bc of these things, would not recommend. you could do so many better things with 8 hours of your time.

frankly, if you're really itching for an experience that's similar and like actually good and incredibly funny and innovative and clever, you could watch Scream Queens! it's so damn good! even S02!! or you could watch the entirety of S04 of Riverdale and get a better experience and a better mystery with the same creepy academia vibes and with like actually redeeming qualities to boot. fuck, if you can't stand the camp of Riverdale and Scream Queens, go watch the first season of The Magicians, it's also got a really well-done mystery and it takes itself seriously AND it's just a fantastic show that's gorgeously written and severely underrated. or go watch The Order, which this is so desperately trying to emulate in so many ways. although The Order will take a few episodes to adjust to bc those first 3-4 episodes are not great, especially in terms of the writing. hell if you're desperate for deadpan/macabre humor, you could just go watch the original Addams Family show or the two 90s movies.

the point is: there are so many better things you could be watching instead. if you're not a Jenna stan I truly cannot recommend watching this show lol. it's like genuinely not good.

[ussjellyfish]

I posted 5,377 times in 2022

214 posts created (4%)

5,163 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@purlturtle

@princessfrogs

@that-one-curly-haired-chick

@moocowmoocow

I tagged 2,351 of my posts in 2022 (I am a terrible tagger)

#reblog - 588 posts

#it's a hell of a queue - 391 posts

#star trek discovery - 226 posts

#michael burnham - 173 posts

#michelle yeoh - 153 posts

#the expanse - 150 posts

#chrisjen avasarala - 110 posts

#star trek - 106 posts

#laira rillak - 96 posts

#philippa georgiou - 86 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#crushes when theyre still on a last name basis are so fun because the inevitable sign of affection that is *first names*

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

student tries to convince me to watch a movie. “there’s this actor and this actor and this...” they’re all guys.

I look at student. “I am too gay, this is the wrong tactic, tell me about the women.”

Student: “there’s one woman.”

Me: “This is why I have not watched your movie.”

54 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#4

I love Elizabeth Mitchell, and whenever she turns up on my show she usually has a tragic ending BUT randomly, on the Expanse, dark show that it is, she gets to go home to her wife and daughter.

70 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#3

https://twitter.com/robertdmcneill/status/1487320364149469187?t=EqqmZIRQWEy-CKOaEQ1uhA&s=19

Well Robbie's enjoying threshold day.

106 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#2

The perfect fanfic writer feeling is

'write a little subtle thing you adore but don't think anyone will notice"

Someone notices.

Someone comments about how much they enjoyed the thing.

You are awaited in Valhalla. You will Fic forever, shiny and chrome.

157 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I was going to look this up on the internet, but I don’t know how to phrase it, so I’ll ramble about it here.

Sometimes when I explain something, I use “you” but I mean “me”. I was talking to my coworker and I mentioned how I wished there was something you could do to make up things you should have learned in childhood, like how to clean your space and keep it clean, or like..how clean a house is supposed to be.

What I meant was “I wish I knew how to clean my house better, I find it overwhelming and because my parents didn’t do that well, I don’t know where I was supposed to figure this out.”

But I can’t say it as “I wish I had” first.

I do it talking about work too. “Sometimes you just need a minute to deal with something awful before you teach your next class.”

I mean...I need a minute and I can’t believe I just have to brush off what that kid said and teach about triangles.

Kid said something awful, directly at me and it’s just...really? This is how we are?

I don’t say I though, I say you.

217 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

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