#if you saw the half done version of this that i accidentally posted while editing. no you didnt

[valve3nthusiast]

Rodimus gets pregnant with a conjunxed mech's baby, serious/angsty version. We need more fucked up dratchrod fr

I can't believe the first ever fanfiction I write is Ratchet doing medical malpractice lmao

Fuckin,,, uh,,, warning for mention of miscarriage/imagined threat to an unborn child??? I feel like I should warn for that.

Ratchet liked to believe he tolerated Rodimus with the same grace he gave to the rest of Drift's most ridiculous eccentricities. Just because they were conjunxed, didn't mean they were perfectly in tune and of the same opinion on everything. Every relationship had to have some give and take.

At the very least, Rodimus was cheaper than the crystal collection.

But that did mean he had to hear more about Rodimus than he ever really wanted to. And when Drift started expressing his concerns about "Roddy not feeling "himself"'...

A suspicion had crept over him, like a coolant rupture slowly freezing his energon lines.

Rodimus walked into the medbay, aiming for flippantly casual and falling just short of the mark. Rodimus tended to avoid the medbay when Ratchet was on shift. Even discounting that, he could see what Drift meant about that "disturbed energy" nonsense. Rodimus's field was noticeably (at least, for a medic) pulsing at a lower frequency.

"So what did you call me down for, doc?"

Ratchet got straight to the point. He didn't have the patience for anything else.

"I need to do an examination." He gestured vaguely to the table. "Up you go."

Rodimus took one look at the medberth configuration and snickered. Climbing up and putting his legs into position, he started, "If this is your way of saying you want a threesome-"

"Can it." He snapped, working the latches on the stirrups.

Rodimus, legs spread, reclined on the exam table. Ratchet found he had even less of a tolerance than usual for Rodimus's chatter, though it was more in the vein of nervous rambling.

"I don't have a virus, doc, you would know," he said, with an obnoxious little browplate wiggle. Ratchet deliberately tuned him out, especially the uptick of irrelevant and vaguely sexual comments once he brought out the speculum. Thankfully, Rodimus still retracted his panel without a fight.

Rodimus had a larger than average anterior node, and line of biolights trailing down his valve lips that matched the node's vibrant red color. As Ratchet spread his slit and inserted the speculum, he saw that the internal lights were the same.

It's a very pretty valve. He can see why Drift would like it.

Unfortunately, he can't confirm the absence of what he's looking for with a visual alone. (Not to mention that the pulsing and flaring of internal biolights wasn't helping visibility any.)

Ratchet gently removed the speculum, ignoring the strings of lubricant that stretched and snapped between the tool and Rodimus.

"I'm going to have to do a manual examination. Try not to flex your calipers or pelvic floor."

Rodimus squeaked out something affirmative. Ratchet pressed two fingers into his valve, but was unsurprised to note that he'd need to insert more to find what he was looking for.

...Rodimus was silken smooth to the touch. He straightend four fingers and slowly pushed in further, firmly ignoring how the soft and wet valve lining trembled around his hand, until Rodimus's anterior node met the dip between his thumb and palm.

With most patients, he wouldn't insert something this big in one go, but it was Rodimus. Ratchet would bet he'd taken something bigger in the past day.

His fingertips ghosted across Rodimus's ceiling node, before finally finding the forge iris.

And confirming his suspicion.

"Congratulations. You're sparked." Even with how distant his own voice sounded to his audials, he could tell it was bitingly cold. Unfortunately, it's not viable, he doesn't say, fingertips gently pressed to the seal, soft, perfectly intact. The gestational seal that protects the protoform appears to have already ruptured. Your systems will register the breach as a confirmed contamination of foreign bodies, and terminate the protoform.

Ratchet looks up, finally, to see Rodimus.

There's a subtle tremor on his lips. Fear, in his matrix-blue eyes. His spark, suddenly, feels flayed open under them.

It could be in reaction to the news. Ratchet knows it isn't. He knows:

Rodimus is scared of him.

His fingers were absentmindedly stroking over the seal, and he nearly snatched them back like they'd been burned. The hand that calmly pulls out of Rodimus's valve doesn't feel like his.

For one delirious moment, he wondered if Rodimus would do just that. Light up his ridiculous mod, and burn the three of them to death together. All of them gone, in one final moment of complete and total devastation.

Drift, entirely alone, with only the memory of a conjunx to cling to. Nothing left to tell him of the sparkling he would never know he had.

The moment ends. Ratchet finds that he's the one rambling now, statistics about carriages, essential nutrients, general hazards. Somewhere in all of that, Rodimus gets unbuckled from the medberth.

He rattles out something about scheduling him regular check ups with First Aid.

And,

"I'll leave you to tell Drift the good news."

Ratchet can't look at him when he says it.

Rodimus leaves his medbay without any further commentary.

[kat-simss]

This download post is basically a WIP because I’ve been working on it all day and need to get some homework done, but I saw @princesspiratecat’s post about needing more medieval clothing for the CPU bodyshape, and the CPU section at Plumbob Keep has almost nothing. I have a medieval save that I’ve been working on for a while, and you can never have too much clothing for different body types, so this happened! 

I’ve been meaning to teach myself how to convert to different bodyshapes, and I finally figured it out thanks to @blueheavensims excellent tutorial. 

This is basically just Tiggerypum’s excellent layered medieval dress mesh converted to the CPU bodyshape, with a bunch of recolors from @illenlan and sunni/the ACME starter kit at PBK. I’ve also edited the pregnancy morph to look slightly more realistic (ignore the bottom photo, the dress looks like it has a seam in it but really it’s just the way the sim is standing and I didn’t realize it until now).

Excuse the questionable preview pictures, I intend to update them when I actually have some free time (I graduate in like a month???? Somehow????), so be on the look out for that! I’m also hoping to convert a bunch more clothing to different bodyshapes in the future now that I finally figured it out, so there’s plenty more in store.

This is just a standalone/tooltipped version (not BSOK’d), but I hope to add a BSOK and/or a mf-BSOK’d version once I have more free time (or even when I don’t🤷‍♀️😅). But, it does have a version with smooth hands (no sexyfeet though, since I got tired of accidentally deleting half of the mesh while trying to delete the feet you never see them anyways, so I didn’t want to up the polycount) as well as the normal maxis ones.

Anyways, onto the download!

Download Mesh (required!!) (maxis hands or smooth hands - only choose one!)

Download Recolors (ACME/sunni recolors and @illenlan’s moss dress)

[the-last-cuddlebender]

“Secret Stairwell” -- (a Kataang love-at-first-sight/hurt-comfort/fluffy college apartment AU fanfic)

I don’t have time to flesh out/edit this as much as I want to, but I REALLY want to share at least a truncated version of it (1800 words lmao) to any who would care to read it. I adore this AU, and the sweeties in it made me smile really, really big☺️

Aang is the new guy in Katara’s complex. He lives in the apartment on the floor right above hers, and they attend the same college.

Katara comes to know him as the crazy parkour kid with too much energy and a too big smile who makes even rainy days feel warm when she sees him out her window with his MASSIVE dog (she still wonders how he got him into the complex).

Aang runs at least twice a day with Appa. He’s ALWAYS smiling, and he never misses a run. His routine becomes part of Katara’s, and she sees him out her window every day. She starts to look forward to his smile.

Katara knows something is wrong when, after a few months of him running literally through any weather, Aang misses a run.

She doesn’t know how she’s going to play it off as non-creepy, but she has to double check to see if he’s okay. What if there was an accident in his apartment? His bike is still locked up in the lot. He’s in the complex.

The stairwell right across from her door is for maintenance only, and Katara thought she was the only one who knew the alarm wouldn’t actually go off if you used it. She steps in, closes the door, and hears Aang crying in the secret stairwell on the landing right above her.

She’s relieved that he’s not dead or anything, but he sounds absolutely heartbroken. She had never heard a cry so sad, just like she had never seen a smile so genuine until she first saw him. She doesn’t know what to do, but she doesn’t want to leave him, either. She sits against the door and hugs her knees on the landing below him like somehow her presence would help him, even if he didn’t know she was there. She didn't know what to say if she said anything. She didn't even know his name.

The next day she sees him running like always, but his smile doesn’t make her happy. It’s concerning. It isn’t warm. It’s bigger than normal. It’s so clearly forced to her, and she doesn’t understand why the stranger he’s talking to doesn’t notice it. The stranger just laughes some more before walking away from Aang. Aang waves to the stranger’s back (didn’t his parents teach him not to talk to every new person he saw?), and his smile wavers before he restarts his run with a sprint like he was running from something.

Katara is extremely guilty for not helping him before. It REALLY gets to her, and she doesn’t know what to do. And, combined with the stresses of her classes and her lack of sleep, she’s on the brink of tears as she waits on the bench for the bus so she could go get groceries. She sticks her hands in her hoodie, slumps on the bench so much that she almost slides off, and sinks her face into the bunched up fabric as she fights the urge to cry.

Appa is a certified therapy dog. He senses Katara’s bad vibes while Aang is running with him. Appa goes up to her, dragging Aang like he was nothing because Appa literally cannot be stopped

Appa gives Katara licks while Aang—EXTREMELY flustered and as red as can be and tripping over his words and finding it hard to look away from her—awkwardly laughs and tries to tug Appa away to retreat. But Appa is a rock and just plops his bum on the ground and his head on Katara’s lap. Aang pulls so hard that he falls flat, and he’s even more flustered than before. He’s talking as fast as he runs and he’s making no sense at all. Katara smiles and laughs without knowing why, and Aang sheepishly smiles at her. Katara pets Appa’s giant head, and Appa’s equally giant tail wags and repeatedly smacks Aang in the face since he’s still on the ground.

Aang blurts an introduction like he had rehearsed it, and he immediately covers his mouth like he had accidentally let it out.

Katara never practiced this part because she didn’t know she would ever get this far. She stumbles over an introduction, and they laugh away the awkward.

Katara sees that his smile is suddenly even warmer than normal, and it makes her feel like jelly because he was looking at her this time instead of her looking at him through the window.

The bus comes and takes Katara away. Katara replays their conversation so many times in her head—trying to commit it to memory—that she doesn’t notice that she missed her stop until two stops later.

Katara is a singer at heart and very art-inclined. She knows about the secret stairwell (secret because it wasn’t common knowledge about its lack of alarm) because the acoustics are perfect and the walls are like a vocal booth, and she likes to go there and sing every now and then.

She goes there one day and, after listening to make sure she was alone, starts singing. It’s beautiful of course.

When she’s done, Aang suddenly appears over the railing above her. He looks like he spent the half-hour before she got there crying, but his smile is so warm it’s almost searing itself into her brain. “That was amazing!!”

Katara screams because he appeared so suddenly. Aang, startled and still light-headed from crying, falls over the railing and onto her landing of the stairs. Appa pokes his concerned head out from the bars and, for the first time ever as far as Katara knew, barks a low, sad woof.

Aang breaks his leg but that doesn’t break his smile. He’s telling Katara how good of a singer she is even as Katara—getting whiplash between being flustered and guilty and worried for his sake—drives him to the hospital in her brother’s car (that he left over break and that she had to hotwire since Sokka didn’t leave her the right key because of course he didn’t).

After the hospital, they find out (at 3 in the damn morning) that their complex’s elevator is broken until further notice. Because of course it is.

Katara makes it her sworn duty to carry Aang up and down the stairs whenever he needs her to. They have to exchange numbers for this, of course. And she might have to stay with him on campus in between classes so he doesn’t have to wait for her when he needs her. And she might need to help him walk Appa since she’s concerned about Appa tugging too hard (like he did when he met Katara) and hurting Aang by yanking him off his crutches.

To say they get to know each other quickly is an understatement. It’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives.

One night, it’s storming really bad. Katara wakes up to a crack of lightning, sees a text from Aang that he needed help getting down the stairs, realizes it’s from ten minutes ago, loses her collective shit, throws a jacket over her pajamas, and rushes to the stairwell.

Aang is on his bum and crying and scooting down the stairs towards her. He’s the picture of pathetic and in desperate need of a hug. Appa is right beside him and gently licking Aang while very quietly woofing.

Katara carries Aang down the rest of the way to her landing of the stairs. They sit against the door. This time, she stays with him, right beside him, as he cries.

Katara doesn’t like the sound of his crying in the stairwell, so she starts humming and quietly singing to him. It’s beautiful, of course, and the acoustics make it even better. It’s a sad song that could be sung in such a way to make it happy, and Aang calms down.

Aang tells her about Gyatso passing away and how he officially has no family left.

Katara still doesn’t know what to say. That’s a running theme when she talks to him, it seems. Her mouth just says whatever her heart is thinking, so she holds him a bit tighter and tells him that he still has her. She helped him get by after she broke his leg. She could help him smile again even though she wasn’t the one who broke his heart.

Katara is art-inclined and invites Aang into her apartment for tea, and, after noticing that no one else signed his cast but her (everyone always leaves…), she asks him if she could paint it for him.

He’s ecstatic and tells her to put whatever she wants on it. She could put paint on her face and smear it on and he would love it.

They joke around and Aang tells her about Gyatso and his passed family and where he’s from, and Katara tells him about her mother and her brother and what her dreams are.

Katara paints the whole cast with clouds that look kindof orange and yellow because they’re warmed by a sunset, and on top of the clouds she paints leaves on a vine with tiny shells and waves curling up the cast.

Aang loves it of course. To repay her, he asks if she would go penguinsledding (a wacky type of normal sledding) with him once he got his cast off since winter was just around the corner

She agrees of course. But when they finally do go penguinsledding, Katara realizes that she’s not as good at it as she used to be since she hadn’t done it since she was a kid.

Katara breaks her arm.

Aang vows to braid her hair for her whenever she needs him to. He might have to meet up with her every morning. And he might cook breakfast for them while he’s at it since he’s an early riser. And he might go with her to the grocery store to help carry her things (with a little pack on Appa to help).

And he might have to settle with only being able to hold one of her hands, but Katara makes it up to him since a cast couldn’t stop her from saying ‘I love you’ first, and she couldn’t have stopped her heart from saying the words if she tried. This part she did rehearse. It blurts out, though, like it had escaped, and she can’t cover her mouth properly because of her cast.

They both rehearsed the kiss that came next. And, thankfully, no one else knew about their secret spot on the stairs.

.

.

Didn’t really edit, as you could probably tell, because it was just a sparknotes version, but I hope you enjoyed the concept! Post-typing, I realize that the singing part was probably inspired by people singing the Halo theme in acoustic places lmao

[im-a-space-gay]

Fic for the Mix-Matched AU

Why yes, I actually looked up what drabble meant, and found that is the wrong term for this writing and probably the one for the Gay Gamers AU. Whoops. Anyways, I didn’t label it when I posted for it earlier, but the Mix-Matched AU is a slow burn Analogical AU where Virgil’s a nerd and Logan’s a punk. Good day.

Edit: Why yes, upon getting half way into this three days ago, I accidentally deleted that version and I am upset but now going to try and rewrite it. Yay. Also, Virgil doesn’t care which pronouns people use for him, just a heads up.

~~~

Virgil pushed his glasses up and held his jacket closer to himself. Patton sighed, making grabby hands at the thing.

“Come on Virge, you’d already said you’d do it.”

Earlier that day, Patton begged Virgil if he could fix the jacket, since it had gained a new hole when he got cornered yesterday without anybody there to help him. The beating was easy to hide from the others, as it had all been aimed at his chest or arms, but one of the boys brought a darn knife that cut a huge tear into his jacket. He shrugged off questions about it pretty easy, only getting a couple suspicious looks.

Anyways, after giving in to Patton, he now had to uphold his promise and give the jacket to Patton to fix as they were about to turn separate ways to walk home.

Virgil frowned and hugged it close, having already taken it off to give. He squeezed it again before giving it to Patton.

“You’re really attached to this thing, huh?” Patton asked softly, holding it as if it’d fall apart at any crazy movements, which it’d probably would. Virgil shivered, rubbing his arms before nodding.

“I’ve been through a lot with it,” he smiled at the jacket before walking down the road, calling a farewell over his shoulder.

I wonder how I’m going to live as a naturally cold person without my only jacket, he thought hugging his arms closer.

——

When Virgil woke up the next morning, he sighed at the loss of the extra warmth the jacket provided, sitting up and fumbling for his glasses.

Only for his glasses to not be found.

“What...?” He mumbled, forgetting about the jacket in favor of finding his sight. He felt around the bedside table, the bed, and the floor, only to not find his glasses.

He huffed, standing up and shakily finding his way to the bathroom, stumbling more than once. He searched the counter with his hands before finally finding what he needed; his contacts.

Virgil put them in before picking out the usual long sleeved shirt under a T-shirt that nobody knew he wore thanks to his jacket. Doing what else needed to be done before he left (including trying to find his glasses, and he looked literally everywhere before he had to go).

The walk to school was pretty normal, besides trying to push up nonexistent glasses and shove his hands in his jacket pockets before settling with his jean pockets instead. What was decidedly not normal was how when he entered the school, he glanced around to find people staring in his direction, whispering.

Odd, he thought, quirking an eyebrow and listening in quietly.

The most common phrase among the females was “he’s so hot” while it was “I’d fuck her” for the males, making Virgil more confused. Perhaps there was a couple behind him? Or new students? That made the most logical sense to him.

So he continued on like normal, though if the halls were strange, first period was so much more strange. In advanced calculus, more students kept looking in his direction instead of the teacher’s.

They really need to focus, he thought quietly, glancing between the teacher and a small math problem he was doing for fun. This lesson was a... how would Janus and Remus say it? A “kill or be killed” lesson. They wouldn’t last after this if things kept going this way. Oh well. Not my problem.

The bell signaling the end of the period rang, and Virgil couldn’t even get up from his seat before someone was there. It was the second smartest teen in the class, smartest going to yours truly. His name was Matthew, if Virgil remembered correctly.

“Hey there miss. I noticed you didn’t seem to be paying much attention, and thought I would offer you some help, as this lesson could probably determine your grades for the rest of the semester.”

Virgil tilted his head slightly. Most people assumed him to be male, not female. How peculiar.

He quickly changed the confused expression to a smile, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“No thank you, I’m quite alright. On the contrary, this is one of the more simpler lessons this class goes over.” Matthew looked surprised for a second at his slightly flowery language before his expression turned irritated, which Virgil felt a bit of himself from the reaction.

“No it’s not. It’s not easy at all, and most people have trouble understanding it,” he said, as if he was all high and mighty, which really peeved Virgil off. It was as if this guy didn’t know he was talking to the smartest kid in probably the entire school.

“I never implied it was easy. I implied that this course goes over harder lessons. Anyways, I’m sure if you looked, you are to find I am not most people, sir.”

“Bullshit,” the boy cussed, and Virgil felt his annoyance grow. “Girls are stupid without the help of men, therefore you are like most people.”

“Females are not stupid, and whatever gave you that impression is simply wrong,” Virgil glared. He should’ve known he was a sexist jerk, his aura was always too repressive around females. “Females are probably a lot smarter than any male could be, because they are given the opportunity to search and prove themselves to those with minds like you, you sick bitch. And maybe, you shouldn’t assume what is in a person’s pants sir. I could have a vagina, I could have a dick, I could be intersex for all you know, so don’t go talking to me like I am any lesser than you simply because you wrongly believe females have less intelligence and assume I am one without the question.”

Matthew stared at him with a jaw that has found its way onto the floor, and Virgil only vaguely registered another student’s gaze toward him. He huffed, and stepped around him, walking out.

“I hope you have an awful day sir.”

He heard a whistle from the classroom he left, trying to look as composed as he normally would.

What an absolute cretin, was all he could think, hoping to god the rest of the day would be normal.

Of course, these prayers were not answered as his day continued. Apparently overnight half the school now saw him as female and addressed him as such, not that he minded, but it was still really weird. He also got many stares from both students and teachers alike, and more offers for tutoring even though he was most likely smarter than the people offering. At least he got no more sexist people to deal with.

When lunch finally rolled around, he was relieved.

Finally. A moment of hanging out with idiots of which I am fond and reading. Thank fucking god.

Approaching the table, he could see the twins and Logan already there. At last, something that was ordinary.

He sat where he normally did at one of the corner seats, pulling out the book he was currently hacking away at.

Before he could open it though, Remus spoke.

“Well hello beautiful.” By the sound of it, he was flirting with yet another female, and Virgil didn’t see the harm of looking to see what unfortunate soul Remus had his eyes on this time.

Glancing up though, he flinched at seeing the three boys staring at him, expressions ranging from Remus’s poker face, to Roman’s confusion, and to Logan’s confusion that was quickly fading into a cold look.

He stared at Remus and glanced behind him before realization dawned on him.

“Are you talking to me?” He asked, feeling as confused as Roman looked.

“Who else would I be talking to?” Remus asked, leaning over from his spot at the opposite corner of the table, and Virgil didn’t back away purely because he was used to the invasion.

“Literally any female in this building,” Virgil deadpanned, and Remus didn’t have enough time to respond before Patton was sitting across from Virgil.

Virgil wanted to ask about his jacket, but also got cut off before he had the chance.

“Oh hello! I’m Patton, he/him!” The fashionista said joyfully, and oh god now Virgil was really confused. He couldn’t compute anything as he normally could.

“I know?” He said, more question than statement. Logan glared at him, which really freaked Virgil out because oh dear Logan’s never looked at Virgil with anger before.

“How do you know that?”

“Logan, calm down!” Patton said sternly before looking back at Virgil. “Although you do look awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”

Virgil froze, raising his eyebrow.

“Is- Is this a joke or...?” He trailed off, and nobody could react when Janus plopped between him and the still-glaring Logan, making him unreasonably happy.

“Hey Virge,” Janus waved at him, having been the first time anybody has gotten to see the nerd. He looked at the book in his hands with the tiniest bit of interest. “Whatcha reading today?”

Virgil teared up a bit as he suddenly hugged Janus, making the emo go stiff under him.

“You are the only person who has acted even remotely normal towards me today, and for that I forever thank you and ask you to never change, you beautiful creature,” he said, feeling Janus awkwardly pat his back as he slowly melted into the hug.

“Wait,” Roman said, and Virgil looked up to see the other four looking at him in shock. “Virgil?”

“Yes?” He answered hesitantly, raising an eyebrow again.

“YOU’RE VIRGIL?! THE VIRGIL?!” Roman shouted, and nobody looked over, used the group’s antics. Virgil got out of Janus’s arms and flailed his arms as he also yelled.

“YES?! WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE ROMAN?!”

“WELL YA DON’T LOOK LIKE THE NERD! SAY SOMETHING ONLY HE WOULD KNOW,” Roman glared, crossing his arms. Virgil huffed as he started to count on his fingers.

“Logan really likes Crofters, Patton is fixing my jacket, Janus has at least three pet snakes that I know of, Remus set me on fire once -which really wasn’t cool, pun intended for Patton-, you’re a bitch, but everybody knows that, our group chat is called Idiots+1=Chaos, and if anybody offers me tutoring ONE MORE TIME I WILL LOSE IT, BECAUSE YES I KNOW CALCULUS, YES I KNOW WHAT A SYNONYM IS, AND YES AND KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MITOSIS AND MEIOSIS.”

“There’s a difference?” Patton whispered to Remus, who shrugged. Virgil turned his hateful stare towards Patton, dimming it down some.

“Mitosis is the division of body cells and meiosis is the division of sex cells. Mitosis only splits into two cells while meiosis becomes four.”

“Yep. That’s the nerd alright,” Remus said, nodding, and Virgil slammed his head into the table.

“What. In the name. Of great Aristotle. Could cause you to think. I was someone else,” Virgil said into the table, and he felt Janus patting his back for comfort.

“Well, you’re not wearing your jacket or glasses,” Logan butted in, sounding guilty for the reasons of which Virgil did not know.

“Oh, so I’m suddenly Superman,” Virgil said, moving so his chin was laying on the table as he stared into the abyss. “One second I’m a nerd, and boom, before you know it, I’m someone suddenly everybody thinks is worth their time. Wow. So amazing.”

Virgil was endlessly bitter. Mostly for the fact that he didn’t get the memo sooner.

“Pretty good Superman,” Logan said, and Roman started.

“Yeah! Ending sexism left and right!”

“I guess...” he mumbled before he sat up straight and looked at Roman in question. “How did you know about that?”

“You didn’t see the video?” Janus asked in his normal dead inside voice. Virgil shook his head.

“Video?”

“Yeah!” Remus said this time, laughing. Virgil turned to him, feeling more and more like he was in a cliche movie. “A kid recorded you absolutely destroying that guy and posted it on every social media! Kids are calling you ‘Silvertongue’ because nobody recognizes you!”

Virgil felt his eye twitch. He stared at Remus, and everybody looked back with concern before he slammed his head again a lot harder than before.

“When will my jacket be done?” He near growled into the table. Was his face bruising? Probably. Did he have a nosebleed? Yeah. Did he care? Absolutely not.

“I can probably finish it today, and you can come over and we can have movie night since it’s Friday,” Patton said, and wow was that fear in his voice? Damn.

“Please. I just want something normal to come out today,” he mumbled. He sat up and stared at the others with a glare even as he felt blood starting to run out of his nose. “If I don’t see one of you four there too, I will either commit suicide or homocide.”

“Shit Virgil you’re bleeding,” Logan said, and that sounded like the overprotective punk he knew and loved. Virgil looked him dead in the eye.

“I am perfectly aware, and yet I cannot bring myself to care.”

Logan swapped seats with Janus so he could clean the blood off of Virgil gently.

“Where are your glasses anyway?” Remus asked as Logan finished up, Virgil leaning on the punk as he glared at the table.

“I don’t know. When I went to bed last night, I put them where I always do, but when I woke up I couldn’t find them anywhere in my house, so I had to resort to my contacts,” he explained, sitting up and checking he didn’t get blood on his book.

For the next twenty minutes of lunch, everything was normal. Roman and Remus fought, Janus was mostly silent, slipping in a suicidal joke here and there, Patton complaining about math class, Logan watching in complete silence, and Virgil reading. And if Virgil slipped his hand into Logan’s at one point, who could tell besides him and Logan?

Maybe that was the problem.

Virgil felt a tapping on his shoulder, and looked up to see a female standing before him.

“Yes?” He said, which at least got the attention of Logan and Janus as they looked over. The girl fidgeted before sticking her hand out towards Virgil, which he took with a questioning look.

“My name is Cherry.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Cherry,” he said with a smile, and was about to tell his name before Cherry continued.

“I was just wondering if uh...” she trailed off, glancing around. Virgil became confused, barely noticing the way Logan’s hand tightened around his or the chatter at his table stopped. “If I could have your number...?”

“Sure,” Virgil said, giving her a paper with a number on it and watching her walk away as he let the happy facade melt into irritated exhaustion.

“That number wasn’t yours,” Janus said, and everybody else looked at him as Virgil shook his head.

“All day. Females asking for my number and males giving me theirs. I’ve just started giving the numbers I receive.”

“Seriously?” Roman laughed, and he only laughed harder when Virgil nodded. “Oh those girls are in for a surprise!”

“Imagine how the males will feel,” Virgil snorted before looking back at his book. “That someone actually texted them. Can’t wait to see how long it takes them to find out they’re not talking to ‘Silvertongue’.”

“You are so cruel,” Janus said with a smile, and Virgil shrugged.

“Don’t suddenly give attention to someone who doesn’t want it, I guess.”

[disregardcanon]

a decade of self recs

i’d like to invite anyone who wants to to participate in this exercise along with me!

this is a self rec and a reflection on a fic from each year of the decade

fandoms include: percy jackson, adventure time, a song of ice and fire, girl meets world, gravity falls, young justice, the flash, my hero academia, the mcu, and the handmaid’s tale. 

2010: I didn’t even know what fanfiction was! oh my gosh i was a baby!

2011: 

I Won’t Ever Leave You Alone

Fandom: Percy Jackson 

Pairings: Percy/Annabeth

Summary:  What happens when Percy's sent to the Roman Camp and flat out does not want to remember his past? Can it have a happy ending? It's my first fan fiction and I hope you enjoy.

A.N: This WAS the first fanfiction that I ever wrote. It was bad. It’s STILL bad. however... if I didn’t ever write this one, then I never would have gotten less bad. That’s important! 

2012: 

The Ice Prince

Fandom: Adventure Time

Summary:  "Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice" Robert Frost. The lonely ice prince wonders a frozen wasteland of his own creation, searching for companionship he will never be fortunate enough to find, with only vague recollections and half memories as comfort. Drabble Ice Prince!Finn

A.N: this fic is actually shorter than the author’s note I wrote for it, but... I’m not going to lie. The atmosphere work is really great and the wording flows really nicely. I’m proud of this little piece. I think out of everything that I wrote that year, it shows my potential the best. 

2013: 

Hot Chocolate Heals All Wounds

Fandom: Percy Jackson 

Pairings: Reyna/Annabeth and past Percy/Annabeth 

Summary:  Moving on is never easy, but with hot chocolate, love, laughter and Reyna by her side, Annabeth might just manage.

A.N: 2013 was where I really started to take off as a fic writer. I improved drastically over the course of the year, but I still think that this fic that I wrote during the summer is the closest to my heart. It’s the first of my “ladies getting over trauma together and falling in love” genre. 

It’s not as good as I remember it being, and oh lordy. the smut.. the smut is bad. But there’s a lot of potential here, and I can still look back on it fondly. 

2014: 

The River Rushes On

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire 

Pairings: Catelyn/Cersei 

Summary: The official reason that she is sent to Riverrun is so that she can learn to be a proper lady alongside Hoster’s daughters. The unofficial reason, of course, is that Tywin found his golden twins having sex.

Or, the one where all good things end, but life continues.

A.N: I had a bit of debate going between this one and a sansaery fic that I wrote that year, but I decided that this HAD to be the choice. Catelyn/Cersei is a pairing that I came to on my own, but I ended up really loving because of the friends I made through the pairing. While this might not have been might best writing of the year, I feel like it was a formative enough experience that it overrides that. 

honorable mention: like the songs, a tragic sansaery au where sansa was a traveling singer

2015: 

Caged

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire 

Pairings: Sansa/Margaery 

Summary:  In an alternate universe where many of the members of the Westerosi elite are magical creatures, the Lannisters seal Sansa Stark's wolf form deep within her. Margaery Tyrell vows to break the spell.

A.N: this is where we get into fics that I might actually recommend to someone. This one was one of the last fics that I wrote during high school, and it was inspired by our class reading of Macbeth and the emotional turmoil of getting ready to head off to college. There’s still some stuff I’m REALLY proud of in there. The spell ingredient “blood of a lover, willingly drawn” is still fantastic, the dream is still chilling, and I honestly sometimes think of adapting this premise into an original story.

honorable mentions: a guide to coming out, the girl meets world edition 

her heart’s duet, the mabifica soulmate’s au 

2016: 

Over the Shadowy Hills 

Fandoms: Young Justice

Pairings: Artemis/Zatanna

Summary: Wally is dead, but Artemis isn't. She's trying to learn how to deal with that.Featuring: Bart Allen, product placement Netflix isn't paying me for, blatant symbolism, and snaibsel sweaters.

A.N: 2016 was a REALLY hard one. I wanted to put like, 3 star wars rebels fics, but i’m holding myself to my one fic per year policy, and if it’s one fic for year... then it has to be over the shadowy hills.   

one of my other friends helped me work this into a fic that i could be really proud of, and it’s the better version of the same fic type as “hot chocolate heals all wounds” from a couple years earlier. i’m still really pleased with the way that this one panned out and i couldn’t leave it out of a best list, 

the honorable mentions:  you were someone, once the winter soldiered! ezra fic that helped me become friends with @bodhimcbodeface​, the ketbine soulmate au where sabine drew dicks all over her face, and then there’s the mirialan!ezra au. 

2017: 

you, me, and the flash makes three

Fandom: The Flash 

Pairings: Cisco/Iris, eventual Cisco/Barry/Iris

Summary: When Barry Allen wakes up from his coma, he finds out that Iris is dating Cisco. He tries really hard to dislike the guy, but Cisco makes it really hard. He's a likable dude.Things get more complicated from there.

A.N: i have a few others that i would have liked to put for this year, but i saw “you me and the flash makes three” and then i was like. well shit. i can’t pick anything else. this fic is a little under 15k and it’s really one of my favorite things that i’ve ever written. it’s a little cheesy and at parts feels a little clunky, but i think that the way that i was able to hit the most important emotional beats for season one of the flash and flesh out all the relationships within an ot3 outweigh that. 

honorable mentions are: how to fall in love with your mark, the bluepulse fic where bart allen realizes that he can’t kill jaime reyes and 

mantis prays to oregon, the guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 fic where mantis is ego’s biological child, but that somehow makes everything worse

2018: 

Ad Astra Per Aspera

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairings: Ochako/Bakugo 

Summary:  Ochako sees none of herself in Bakugo’s pure rage, her sheer confidence. Bakugo holds up an enormous middle finger to the world and says come and get it. She’s harsh. She’s loud. She’s angry. She doesn’t say what’s on her mind; she shouts it.If she’s being completely honest, Ochako is a bit in awe with her.People might not like her, but they take her seriously. Bakugo grabs them by the throats, pulls them in and says “I am woman, hear me roar."

Sequel to "knights in shining armor"

A.N: 2018 was the year that I embraced the gender bend and started writing bildungsromans that deal with coming of age and trying to puzzle out wtf being a person and gender even are. I’m really pleased with all of them, but this is my favorite. Partially because I think it’s the most well-written, partially because I like the motifs the best, but mainly because it taught me a lot about myself and my writing. 

Also it accidentally got me to ship kacchako, which is something I appreciate. 

honorable mentions: hers, not his: the fem!todoroki one where she learns that sometimes telling your dad to fuck off isn’t worth giving up the things that you love

gimme a boost over heaven’s gate, the one where eleanor and tahani end up on the same talk show together. then bone. then become better people

2019: 

Paint a New Horizon 

Fandoms: A Song of Ice and Fire

Pairings: Sansa/Margaery and abusive Sansa/Joffrey

Summary:  Sansa is a painter. The moment that she meets Joffrey he becomes her muse. After they get married she starts to see his true colors unfold in front of her and she loses her passion. Then she meets Margaery. Her presence changes everything, and reignites a passion for painting and for life that Sansa thought was long buried. It’s too bad that leaving Joffrey isn’t an easy task.

A.N: this fic is 23k of my sweat and tears. i know that it’s kind of a weird premise, but this was the most gripping writing i’ve done all year. it was exactly right for me at that moment. 

however, it does spell a bit of a turning point in my writing and life. in the past, i have written short fics that i could get posted fairly quickly. this fic was the result of multiple weeks of work when i was off school, not working much, and focusing mainly on... writing this damn thing. moving forward, i’m going to have to try to figure out a way to keep up my motivation and drive with longer projects when i don’t have the time to dedicate to HUGE chunks of work at one time when i also know i’m not going to get the instant gratification of kudos immediately after a long writing sesh. i know that sounds silly, but this is the first year where the majority of the fics i wrote WERE longer. 

while i’m very pleased with all of these longer fics, it does mark a shift that i will just have to learn how to deal with. 

honorable mention: A Woman’s Place, the handmaid’s tale time travel fix it fic

[makeste]

BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace

okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.

so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.

anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.

so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!

all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.

I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).

this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.

and I think that’s it! so here we go.

so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill

there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay

...what

guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??

you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...

okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??

this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways

so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever

lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg

TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST

and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today

this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it

also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh

OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN

at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS

now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!

lmaooo

I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”

(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)

anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears

the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in

anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip

which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows

and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time

oh my god

no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just

and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!

now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks

hey, what!!

WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword

now it’s a sludge monster omake!

so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him

oh no All Might

my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids

wow All Might

sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect

looooool

lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude

btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love

lmao what the fuck

ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series

now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred

sob what

I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp

(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)

now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags

oh my god

nope nevermind. nope. nope

-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized

and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ

anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves

OH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE

Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon

oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off

so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series

so! onward to chapter two

so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??

“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might

lmao check out the past users of OFA here

All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly

so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then

HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here

in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it

so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name

given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife

lol what in the fuck

the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho

I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally

lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??

now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”

omg Deku no

somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now

OH SHIT

PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY

anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks

what the fuck is this fucking series lmao

time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY” 

holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone

NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS

my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??

lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment

AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD

do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point

here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else

this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit

now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes

LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK

AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A

“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE

now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet

and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks

OMFG

THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars

now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car

thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes

and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people

anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops

bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too

and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas

lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg

I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes

and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory

I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort

oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg

lol what the fuck

this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh

okay now we’re doing the hair scene

oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda

motherfucker they really --

Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this

OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT

lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow

 so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.

[hyuckles-chuckles]

Sneak Peak: The Only One • Zhong Chenle

Warning: Accidental violence (I’ve added a keep reading tab just before so you can reblog if you want to), Not edited (will be in the full version)

•

6 Years Ago

You decided to look at the two boys who were using the field at the moment while your tour guides were fixated on something else.

One of the boys seemed to be a few years older than you. He wore dark clothes even though it was the beginning of summer – he was also wearing a hoodie which was completely impractical since it was warm today. And he was kind of cute, but not as cute as the boy he was training with.

This boy was obviously younger and smaller than the first boy but was his equal in swordplay. He was wearing casual clothes with a necklace, you couldn’t see what it was a pendant of but it looked as if it was water related.

While you were watching from your group you caught the eye of the younger boy. He looked at you quizzically, as if trying to put a name to your unknown face. But that quizzical look soon turned into a look of pain as he had been accidentally swung at by his friend in the arm.

“Oh my god,” you muttered as you ran to the boy, ignoring the tour guides request for you to stay with the group.

“Chenle! I’m so sorry!” exclaimed the first boy.

“I know, Mark,” Chenle grimaced as he held his arm. “You’ve said so, like, a billion times.”

“Are you okay?” you asked as you knelt down beside Chenle.

“Who are you?” Mark asked, surprised at your forwardness.

“I’m (Y/N),” you said as you took Chenle’s hand in yours. “You’ll be okay.”

And as soon as you said that, the grass grew longer to cover Chenle’s arm. Chenle screamed at the sight but then realised it was meant to happen. You just sat there with your mouth wide open, shocked at what you had just done. When the grass returned to its natural state, Chenle had a nasty scar on his arm but he was no longer bleeding or in pain.

“What just happened?” Johnny asked as he made his way to your little group.

“How did you do that?” Chenle asked you, completely ignoring Johnny’s question.

“I don’t know,” you stuttered.

“I think I know how,” Mark mumbled as you were lit in a dim gold light.

“What?” you said as you looked up to see a gold light hovering over your head. At first glance it seemed to be a sickle with a few sheathes of wheat surrounding it. You were startled at first until you saw that everyone surrounding you had a knowledgeable smile on their face as if they had gone through the same thing were going through right now.

“This is what happens when your godly parent claims you as their child,” Johnny said to the group as your light seemed to fade completely.

“Not exactly,” said Yuta. “That exact one was if Demeter claims you as her child. Well done, (Y/N),” he said to you as he gave you a friendly wink.

“That was really cool,” Mark told you.

“Thanks? I just learnt how to do that today,” you shrugged, causing Chenle to laugh an unforgettable laugh.

“Now, since you new demigods haven’t been claimed yet, we’ll escort you to the Hermes cabin where you will stay there indefinitely until your godly parent claims you,” announced Johnny. “(Y/N), I’ll show you to your new cabin –”

“Actually,” Mark interrupted. “We’ll show her to her cabin. It’s only fair since she just healed Chenle.”

And that was the day that you became friends with the most powerful campers at Camp Half-Blood.

•

If you enjoyed this sneak peak to The Only One, make sure to like/reblog this post and maybe follow me if you want. The full story will probably be posted in the next month after I finish writing the other NCT Dream members parts of The Dream Demigod Diaries series. If you want to be tagged when I post this story (and the other stories) make sure to say so on this post or in my ask box.

More sneak peaks coming soon! Haechan, Jeno and Jaemin’s sneak peak!

•

© hyuckles-chuckles, 2019. Please don’t copy or repost without permission.

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume Five, Number 10

The Hammered Hulls

Time again for a load of short, mostly positive reviews of records that caught our attention at least for a little while. This edition is typically wide ranging with free jazz, teen garage pop, piano experiments, acoustic guitar picking and goth-y post punk all jockeying for your ear. It’s not just obscurities this time around either, as Ian Mathers looks for the solid core of the National’s over-long latest, while Jen Kelly makes peace with the Futureheads. Participants besides these two include Bill Meyer, Andrew Forell, Nate Knaebel and Justin Cober-Lake.

CP Unit—Riding Photon Time (Eleatic Records)

Riding Photon Time by CP Unit

CP Unit, an evolving ensemble formed around saxophonist Chris Pitsiokis, exhilarates live, the sound anchored by antic, twitching, faster-than-advisable-but-nailed-anyway bass, complicated patterns of percussion and abstract slashes of guitar. Live, the music is colored rather than dominated, by the urgent, chaotic energy of the proprietor on horn. A late summer set at the Root Cellar in Greenfield, MA left me gasping. Riding Photon Time captures the same band I saw—Pitsiokis, Sam Lisabeth on guitar, Henry Fraser on bass and Jason Nazary on drums (which is different from the line-up Derek Taylor reviewed here )— in two fiery 2018 live settings. The first half of the disc was recorded at the Moers Festival in Germany in May, the second at the Unlimited Music Festival in November. “Once Upon a Time Called Now,” from the earlier set, captures the spare, rippling tension between Pitsiokis’ free-ranging inquiries and Nazary’s intricate but grounded rhythms; they duel for a couple of minutes before the rest of the band enters. The cut also foregrounds Fraser’s restless, rampaging bass work, carving a headlong through line in the squall and storm. “Seasick,” from the November show, gives space to Lisabeth’s guitar, lyrical in a tilted, offkilter way, the tones bouncing off Pitsiokis’ sax melody in loose conjunction and counterpoint. My only complaint is that the mix favors melody, zooming in on the sax and obscuring, somewhat, the fascinating interplay between drum and bass. In most bands, that’d be fine, but in this case, the rhythm is just too good to hide. 

Jennifer Kelly

 Eluvium — Pianoworks (Temporary Residence Ltd)

Matthew Cooper has done enough things under his Eluvium moniker that even those only mildly acquainted with his work might not be surprised that he’s put out an album of solo piano compositions; they might, however, be surprised to find out that Pianoworks is the second such Eluvium album, after 2004’s An Accidental Memory in Case of Death. That record, coming after the striking (and often noisy) debut effort Lambent Material served to establish that Cooper wasn’t going to be restrained by genre, form or instrument. Here, having accomplished an awful lot over the past 15+ years it’s fitting that Cooper appears to be in a more contemplative, even melancholy mood. Whether it’s the gently rippling “Underwater Dream” or the brightly rounded runs of “Carrier 32”, Pianoworks serves as a reminder that Cooper can stop you in your tracks with the simplest of setups, if he chooses. (And for those really a fan of his piano work, the deluxe version features an extra disc of new versions of practically all the previous Eluvium piano pieces as well.)  

Ian Mathers  

 Frieda’s Roses — Jessica Triangle (Mika)

The three women of Frieda’s Roses—that’s Greta Fannin, Ava Miller and Poppy Lang—aren’t even in high school yet; their ages range from 13 to 15. And yet, this debut album, Jessica Triangle, is a marvel of minor key garage pop, raucous and wistful at the same time. Its bristly onslaught of guitars guards a tender center. You also realize, about halfway through the album, that teen girl pop has changed since the last time you looked, and the subject matter here is rather empowered. In a very strong middle section, “Isadora Giving” chides a girl for being too accommodative (“She’s kind in the way of giving things away”), while the stand-out “Lucy Poe” celebrates the complexity and intelligence of a young woman (“She’s happy and not/at the same time.”) “Forever Defend Her Story” recounts the ordinariness of sexual assault and the way women are blamed for it. The songs are bright and dark simultaneously laying in the pretty vocals of, say, Grass Widow, atop a raucous, acerbic foundation. There’s no way you’d know, without reading the coverage, how young this band is. They sound like they’ve been doing it forever.

Jennifer Kelly

 The Futureheads — Powers (Nul)

Back at the old Dusted, I wrote perhaps my most vicious review ever about the Futureheads’ second album, News and Tributes. It was disappointment speaking — I’d genuinely liked their taut, fizzy debut — when I said, “Now, with News and Tributes, the sad truth emerges. The Futureheads were lean from hunger, not discipline. With opportunity, they tend toward the flabbiest sort of excess.” Well, 13 years have passed, and I no longer expect anything from the Futureheads. I’d forgotten they existed, to be honest, but their latest album, Powers, is kind of fun. Much of what made the debut such a pleasure—the tightly wound guitars, the unexpectedly complicated vocal counterparts, the exuberant avowal of depressing ideas—is here, too. “Electric Shock” trips all the wires (ahem) by itself, with its zingy guitar and drum cadence, its densely harmonized vocals and its celebration of an extreme form of mental health therapy (“When I got my electric shock/it knocked me off my feet”). “Jekyll” punches, stings and tantalizes, its hoarse, wracked northern lead pillowed by giddy oohs and ohs. “Can you control your transformations?” asks the singer Barry Hyde, and then the song itself transforms itself, turning into a popcorning cacophony of closely aligned vocals. Even the willfully positive, good time anthem, “Good Night Out” ripples with existential angst; it’s only a feel good song if you don’t listen too closely. And yet, there’s a great deal of joy in these tight, complicated songs. They burst into flames as you listen, leaving spots in your eyes from the brightness and the bitter taste of ash.

Jennifer Kelly

 Hammered Hulls — S/T (Dischord)

S/T by Hammered Hulls

Perhaps it's a bit lazy to toss out the old "super group" appellation; but, come on, if you're even a moderate follower of that thing we call indie rock, you have to recognize the extraordinary line-up of Hammered Hulls for what it is. With DC hardcore royalty Alec MacKaye on vocals, newly minted arena rocker Mary Timony on bass, Chris Wilson of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists fame (among other outfits) on drums, and Des Demona/Pink Monkey Bird Chris Cisneros on guitar, Hammered Hulls represents an undeniably impressive assemblage of rockers. If any individual band member's musical history comes to the fore here, though, it's probably MacKaye's, as the band trades in a brawny yet cunningly complex punk that recalls the musical revelations delivered by Dischord's first blasts of post-hardcore creativity. And while this is clearly a team effort, each sonic component is worthy of the listeners attention as much as the superlative whole. Though two of the three tracks clock in at just over a minute, indicating that at least in spirit the band isn't denying its past, the practically byzantine by comparison (coming in at almost four minutes) "Written Words" hints at the potential Hammered Hulls has to be more than just a spirited one-off by some friends with impressive resumes. This single should leave everyone desperate for more.  

Nate Knaebel  

 HTRK — Venus In Leo (Ghostly International)

Australian duo HTRK’s latest Venus In Leo is a collection of electro-acoustic minimalism characterized by a woozy shimmer reminiscent of Mark Nelson’s work as Pan American. Jonnine Standish and Nigel Yang have stripped their music to the bare bones. A heartbeat throb, sparse percussion, occasional washes of synth and Yang’s simple guitar strums underpin Standish’s voice mixed to the fore on nine songs redolent with damaged longing. There is a rawness of emotion and acute observation of small domestic moments recorded with an intimacy that draws the listener close. Influenced by dub’s use of space, echo and silence Yang and Standish achieve a feeling of momentum to evoke quiet turmoil. Their miniaturization of Missy Elliott’s “Hit ‘Em Wit Da Hee” takes repeated lyrical snippets from the original and turns the song into a ghostly waltz. “What's up star? /We know who you are/Shit, no shit I thought you hadn't noticed.” Venus In Leo’s unadorned modesty is at times devastating.

Andrew Forell

  Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster — Take Heart, Take Care (Big Legal Mess)

Songwriter Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster frames his new album Take Heart, Take Care as the result of an artistic problem. He'd become used to writing dark songs, until he found he was content and had mostly good things to say. It's a false dilemma, of course. Any number of artists have built not only albums but careers on encouragement (see the War and Treaty as an example of a current act doing it really, really well). The real trap for Kinkel-Schuster was to avoid get treacly in his new mood, and he successfully avoids that snare.

His performances rely on his patience — he's content, remember, but not exuberant. He builds his songs comfortably within his context, but he doesn't jump on them. When he sings, “There's plenty of wonder in this world still to be found,” on the opener, his ease prevents it from sounding like a naïve epiphany. Kinkel-Schuster's Americana-influenced indie-rock comes carefully constructed, but only to make space for that heart to come through. It's a songwriter's record, easy melodies supported by well-balanced guitars. It's the singer not the guitars who have done their processing. The record and its bright sound create a warm space and sit down in it. Kinkel-Schuster may have found his ease, but his desire to share it quickly becomes apparent.

Justin Cober-Lake

 Longriver—Of Seasons (Hullaballou)

Of Seasons by Longriver

David Longoria of Longriver picks nimbly at his guitar, plucking out porch blues-y tunes that are steeped in tradition but freshly imagined. Not quite spare, his tunes are abetted by a crew of Texas regulars, songwriters Sarah LaPuerta of Strange Paradise and Lindsey Verrill of Little Mazarn, Evan Joyce and Colin Gilmore, as well as composer/percussionist Thor Harris. Though mostly acoustic guitar and voice, his sound is filled out with harmonica, soft percussion and twining communal harmonies. His songs run at a mid-temperature folky pace, so soft spoken and unassuming enough to elide one into the other, and honestly, don’t quite catch fire until late in the album when ghostly, lovely “Texas Doesn’t Care” comes along. This one uses all the tools, an aching pedal steel guitar, some silvery electric keyboards, punchy drums and fiddle. It also contains the prettiest melody of the disc, fluttered out in a high, not quite falsetto quaver. A few more like this and Texas might sit up and take notice.

Jennifer Kelly

 Lunaires — If All the Ice Melted (Shades of Sound/Wave Records)

IF ALL THE ICE MELTED by Lunaires

If All the Ice Melted is a highly polished blend of cold wave, goth and stadium synthpop. This first outing from Milan post-punk Jeunesse d’Ivoire veterans Patrizia Tranchina (vocals) and Danilo Carnevale (guitars, programming, synths) evokes the heyday of 4AD bands such as The Cocteau Twins, Xmal Deutschland and Dead Can Dance. Here, Tranchina ruminates on loss, mortality and nature’s power as Carnevale constructs dreamy electronic soundscapes with sparklingly clean guitar lines twinkling above. The results are lovely but polite. The edges have been sandpapered to nothing and the dust swept away. “Mirror Trancefix” stands out precisely because it has that grit — the drum programming a little ragged, the bass dirty, the guitars cutting. Otherwise the gloss creates an emotional distance, which may be the point but discourages complete engagement with Tranchina’s often affecting vocals. If All the Ice Melts sounds good, and if it never quite breaks out there’s enough here to enjoy and look forward to what Lunaires could do with a little less restraint.

Andrew Forell

  Bill Nace & Chik White—Eel (all parts) / Wild Wire (Open Mouth)

The news that Bill Nace (Body / Head, Vampire Belt) has picked up an acoustic guitar and sat down to jam with a jaw harpist might give some cause for pause. Is he going American Primitive, or maybe going skiffle? Spoiler alert — the ghosts of John Fahey and Lonnie Donegan will not hear their names called when you play this record. But play it you will, and for only the best of reasons. First of all, it’s a seven-inch, black vinyl single, and no one buys such things anymore unless they really, really love them. But this one does more to earn your affection than merely exist. On the a-side, White’s orally organized vibrations and Nace’s persistent smacks on prepared strings stir up a constellation of buzzing sounds that’ll reliably destabilize your equilibrium without getting you fired when the Feds drop by to drop everyone on the work floor. The flip combines broad feedback ribbons with intermittent glottal eruptions to create a sonic sweat lodge experience so deep that you’ll be unloading all your Scientology machines on e-bay, all issues resolved.

Bill Meyer

  The National — I Am Easy to Find (4AD)

The National have been getting expansive recently (with the instrumentation and their runtimes, among other things), and who can blame them? Having attained the kind of big-venue prominence that means either you start lapsing into the version of yourself the hecklers always claimed you were (an especially slippery potential slope for a band like this one, so precisely emotionally calibrated and so close to being the bad kind of dad rock) or you start just going for it. The latter approach served them mostly well on Sleep Well Beast a few years ago, but this time finally feels like the kind of record that the National needed to make for their own progress more than one that’s necessarily fully successful. One absolutely successful move is the series of accompanying singers (“backing” seems almost disrespectful for what Gail Ann Dorsey and Lisa Hannigan, among others, bring to these songs), and the expanded studio palette first highlighted on Beast is still mostly working for them. There’s even a quick comparison in the form of old fan favorite “Rylan,” which still sounds great here. Ultimately what doesn’t quite settle right is just the sheer length, bulk, and discursiveness of the album, complete with accompanying film, brief interludes by the Brooklyn Youth Chorus, interpolating a Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 song into a track that was already too long and feeling that somewhere within these 63 minutes is a really killer 40 minute or so album just waiting to be carved out. Eight albums in, things could be a lot worse.  

Ian Mathers  

 Reduction Plan — (Ae)Maeth (Redscroll Records / Dune Altar)

(Ae) Maeth by Reduction Plan

Reduction Plan swells to epic size in this sixth full-length, turning the darkwave, synth-heavy aesthetic laid out in the five previous albums into an enveloping, shimmering, near-post-metal overload. Daniel Manning, the band’s single member, worked with Swans/Walkman producer Kevin McMahon this time, a move which transformed his Cure-circa-Disintegration gloom into a weighted, gleaming edifice. “An Act of Self Immolation” sets the tone with giant masses of guitar sound that tower and lumber. Unencumbered by vocals, it’s more like Pelican than gothy-post-punk. “The River” hews closer to new wave, with its clean, chiming synth tones, gate-reverbed drums and echoey vocals — there’s a nice smouldery sax solo in this one, too — but still looms and glowers with a palpable heaviness. “Ae Maeth,” at the end, brings on Jae Matthews from Boy Harsher for added vocals, a kindred spirit in reviving music at the intersection of dance, goth and industrial; the album’s longest cut slows the thump of dance floor into a desolate cadence that can’t and won’t stave off destruction.

Jennifer Kelly

 Rosenau & Sanborn — Bluebird (Psychic Hotline)

Bluebird by Rosenau & Sanborn

The house on the cover of this LP is surrounded by fallen leaves. But even though it depicts the location of this recording, and that recording took place in October, and they recorded with the windows open, the sounds inside are not particularly autumnal. Chris Rosenau’s (Collections of Colonies of Bees, Volcano Choir) is too quick and eager, Nick Sanborn’s (Sylvan Esso, Megafaun) electronics too effervescent. This music feels like the sun hitting your brow, refracted by heavy air. It feels like the first awareness of escape when you turn off the work phone and start a vacation. Or maybe it just feels like Indian summer. Put it on, put the speakers out the window, and go kick some leaves.

Bill Meyer  

 We Melt Chocolate — We Melt Chocolate (Annibale Records)

we melt chocolate by we melt chocolate

The reanimation of shoegaze pioneers My Bloody Valentine, Slowdive and Ride has brought renewed attention to the genre’s flourishing across Europe, the US, and Japan during their absence. Italian band We Melt Chocolate — that’s Vanessa Billi (voice and synth), Lorenzo Sbisa (guitar), Enrico Baroncelli (guitar), Marco Crowley Corvitto (bass) and Francesco Lopes (drums) — hit all the classic marks on their latest, excellently produced self-titled album. Ethereal vocals, banks of effects laden neo-psychedelic guitar, washes of synth, and a thick bottom end are all present and correct. Taking Loveless as their template, We Melt Chocolate strive for the epic and on tracks like “wishful” and “orange sky” reach it with elegance rather than sheer volume, although turning it up never hurts. We Melt Chocolate probably won’t convert non-believers, but fans of shoegaze and dream pop will find a lot to like here.

Andrew Forell

[slytherhell]

Send these to your favorite Authors and let them blab! What is your total word count on AO3? How often do you write? Do you have a routine for writing? What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing? Do you have a favorite fic of yours? Your fic with the most kudos? Anything you don’t like about your writing? Now something you do like! Send it to some of your favorite Authors to spread some love

//////

Total word count on AO3 : 60634 ( and this is with the 3/4 of my fics still not updated since being posted. i’m not sure how it’s this much already, the word count, that is. the most amount of words i’ve written - for a total fic - was about 5k words; then it went up to 16k+ after the food fair entry . just think of how big my total word count could be when i get my writing muse back! )

How often I write: I used to update regularly, back in about 2015. Every day, I would have a new chapter for my fics (on Wattpad, because that was my first main writing platform, but Wattpad’s dead now so we’re here.) 

In fact, I used to have a full writing plan; I had about ten hp fics on my account. I picked out the top ones I had the most muse for - which was three, two drarry and one wolfstar - and told myself I would update those fics whenever I felt inspired to. 

In the end, I ended up updating those fics three times every week for a good two months, and I had about 24ish chapters for the drarry fics, and close to 20ish chapters for the wolfstar ( I started that fic at a later time than the other two. )  

I kept this pattern up, and made sure that everyday after school, I would clear a writing space for myself on my bed so I could write. That helped me a lot and I had so many creative juices...it was insane how much I wrote.

Now, however, I write only whenever I feel inspired to and have enough time + energy ( aka, when I don’t pass out from exhausation and not working on too many things in school - I had and still have a lot of /art/ projects. )

I try my best to write all of my ideas down, but I usually don’t have much inspiration to turn them into longer fics, or anything beyond a simple idea, so most of those get chucked and forgotten.

The ones I do manage to keep around, I usually scribble down the idea on a piece of paper, and write a starter line and/or paragraph to see how it would look if I were to continue it as an actual fic, then determine what I do with it when I get home.

There’s no true definition as to how much I write. I would just say I write depending on my current mood and situation.

Writing Routine: 

It used to start in either a swivel chair in the corner of my room, or at the wooden dining room table with a hot mug of fruit-flavored tea. ( It now varies from sitting upright on my bed with music blasting out of my headphones, on the living room couch with the low murmur of the t.v. in the background, or laid sprawled out on the floor with a Kubz Scouts video in the background. )

I try to take a few minutes to write the beginning paragraph on paper, or at least attempt to outline the story ( this usually lasts for about five minutes because I CANNOT sit still, and I’ll fidget a lot if I’m required to sit still for a while. ) 

I’ll usually look up fics of the similarity to whatever I’m writing, and get further story inspiration from them ( I’ll usually keep those fics up in a seperate tab to read back over when I need help and/or a burst of writing  inspiration )

If it’s something I‘m not quite sure about, or something I’m not properly educated on, I ALWAYS do a good bit of research before even remotely writing about it. ( This is something I do NOT skip over, like at all. )

I’m almost always blasting music or video audio through my headphones whenever I write ( I search and listen to music when I write, depending on the theme and the feel of the story. If I’m writing fluff, you’ll probably catch me listening to beautiful piano music. If it’s a dark story - gods, I love dark stories - I’ll be listening to dark music, be it dark piano versions of songs, ambient horror music. And lastly, if I’m writing something emotional, I’ll usually stop by songs that made me cry and sad as child, or that cause me to zone out of reality in present day. )

I try to set a timer whenever I write. ( While it intimidates me, it also pushes me to write more because me eyes are constantly flicker over to the timer, and the closer I see it move down to zero, the faster I write and edit. I kick in about a good twenty words at the very start of the countdown. )

( And unless you wanna hear me rant about how much I get off task and procrasinate writing whenever I can’t figure out how to make a scene work or something of the sort, then this is pretty much it. Oh, and I do a few read-overs and editing when I’m done with the first rough draft. )

Kinks in Fics:

I really like a good ‘ol leather kink in a fic ( specifically when the second half of the pairing, *cough, cough* draco in a drarry fic* is pulling on and stretching on leather gloves, and I blame @mzuul for that because the minute I saw her Draco Malfoy Bad Boy series art, that kink was developed and I’ve loved it since. ) 

Another one, this is gonna sound really gross + suprising for those that know me, but watersport kink. ( This was first developed when I read my very first fanfictions, and I found a few good drarry fics with this in them so this kink is here to stay )

Hair pulling kink. ( It started out with reading fics fics where Draco would either accidentally or deliberately tug on Harry’s hair, and Harry ended up loving it - but now, I read fics were both Draco and Harry have this kink because it’s actually really good. )

Praise Kink ( Started out with only Harry, but I also like fics where Draco has this kink. I blame @goldentruth813 entirely )

Hung! Harry ( Hung! Like! A Horntail! - this, this fic, is all i’m going to say..) 

Parseltongue Kink ( When! Draco! has! this! and! Harry! somehow! still! keeps! his! ability! to! speak! Parseltongue! and uGH,, THIS IS SO GOOD. ) 

Tropes in Fics:

Legitimate! Enemies to Friends to Lovers

sLOW BURN

Sectumsempra angst

Bi Harry

Pansy is a lesbian

Draco finding out how the Durshleys treated Harry and becoming absolutely lIVID at the news

Dark! Drarry

BAMF! Harry

BAMF! Draco

When they cross paths after a few years and get to know each other + proper character developement + when they clash and they have their ups and downs, causing people to wonder how they’re even comptaible but in the end, they make it work and are able to settle down with each other and enjoy the rest of their lives.

wHEN! THEY ANIMOSITY! STAYS!

Long-haired! Draco

Bearded! Harry

aUROR PARTNERS

Raising a kid together ( tEDDY-! )

pINING

mUTUAL PINING

Sassy! (Canon) Harry

Flustered! Draco

When they’re equally sassy and equally ruthless + being able to get their shit done, and staying on top of their game

When their kids become friends and that forces them to become friends as well and hang out with each other more often

When their kids wants their dads (Draco and Harry) to end up together and make it happen

when it’s hella fluffy

when it’s hella aNGSTY ( haha, chaotic neutural )

Top! Harry!

Bottom! Draco ( I can see them both as either or both being versatile but I really love when Harry tops )

Realistic first times 

Their friends setting them up ( I love when Draco, Pansy and Blaise are best friends in fics like this !! )

The constant switch of calling each other by first and last names, depending on the(ir) mood

When they are eQUALS

When they still have bANTER AND STILL ARGUE BUT W/O THE PREVIOUS HATE

When their relationship is real and raw that you can pratically feel it

hURT AND COMFORT ( real heavy on the hurt, just a bit on the comfort bc not drarry all fics have to have happy endings )

Anything involving them both working on a case together

Auror! Harry x Unspeakable! ( or even Healer! ) Draco

Jealous! Draco x (Still) Oblivious! Harry

Oblivious! Draco x Jealous! Harry

Protective! Harry ( Protective! Draco as well )

Beauxbatons! Draco x Hogwarts/Gryffindor! Harry

fORCED PROXIMITY

Multilingual! Draco

French speaking! Draco

Wandless magic ( for both )

POC! Harry ( This is my number one things in fics...I just love POC! Harry

Proper mention and represenation of Harry and/or Draco’s PTSD; following the war

Power couple! Drarry

Pairings:

Drarry ( OTP )

Pansmione

Linny

Blaico 

+ a few hundred more ( for all of them, but the kinks in general ) , but you’re probably gonna have to ask off anon bc i don’t wanna lose to remainder of friends i still have left on this site, over this post. ( i keep forgetting that not all drarry accounts follow me - i have some rpers, general artists, people following me with their main acounts + multifandom blogs and i feel like every time i get started up about anything drarry, they just...regret their decision to have followed me xD but you can kinda get the gist of my kinks, right? )

Favorite Fic ( of mine ) : While I constantly dog on my own writing skills, I actually do have some of my fics that I love. But my most favorite?  I’d have to say ‘(Fuck A) Silver Lining’

It’s a Draco Malfoy redemption fic I began writing earlier this year ( and yes, it was inspired/influenced by the P!ATD song. )

I mean, I haven’t updated it since I posted it - I began writing it on old Wattpad before I left that hellsite, then I later posted it to my ao3.

It’s my favorite because I really got to explore and go more in depth with Draco’s character, unlike J.K. R*wling.

And I basically filled in all the pieces that led up to the part of Draco’s life  we witness ( well, y’all, bc I never read it, ha ) in C*rsed Ch*ld 

I basically combined in every post-war Draco headcanon I ever thought of into one whole fic and while it takes you into his mind and shows you just how much the war has changed him, it is actually wholesome. I mean, we’ve got angst, hurt/comfort, finding love, and I even had a few scenes that were so fluffy and pure that I was crying as I wrote - which is why I haven’t updated. Other than dealing with shit irl, this story gets me really emotional and I just love it so much..

Fic with most Kudos:

‘just the right addition’ with 65 kudos.

summary :

harry has a leather kink. but draco didn't know that when he showed up on the field in a leather jacket, and suede leather gloves.

What I don’t like about my writing: 

I really don’t like how I transition from scene to scene in my fics. I feel like they’re extremely sloppy and really ruin the story; especially if I had a really good idea/path for the story. ( I also don’t like how I constantly compare my writing, then try and force to change my writing style so it sounds half as good as the author’s writing style of the story that I’m reading )

What I DO like about my writing:

Um, I really like how I start most of my fics off with dialogue. I like how I have a lot on the page, but it still blends in well to get its point across. And also, if it’s a one shot, I like how I have a beginning, middle, and end for the story.

Beginning: Introducing the prompt, and what’s going on with it

Middle: What the characters actions lead to, kinda showing you where it’s going to be heading soon

End : the general idea of the ending/aftermath of it + something like an epilogue, wraps things up in a way.

/////

Thank you so much for sending me this, anon!!

Again, thank you so much, and I hope you’re well!

-Teia

[pixie-mage]

#SamLives - Pt.3

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[This story has been edited and reposted on the official #SamLives Tumblr. The new post of Chapter 3 can be found here.]

(The main difference between this version and the updated version is the scene in the kitchen. Instead of Signe being there, PJ is still hanging out instead.)

“Jack, you need sleep.”

Day Nine of the #SamLives debacle.

Jack would be lying if he said he’d been sleeping fine, that he hadn’t been worried. The stress of the situation was beginning to take its toll, and it hadn’t been made any better by the GameTheory video that had come out the day before. Matt had good intentions, Jack knew, but...it hadn’t exactly worked the way he assumed the other YouTuber had been hoping.

“Game Theory: Does #SamLive? THE SCIENTIFIC PROOF!”

MatPat was one of the few YouTubers who had, accidentally, learned of Sam’s existence. It was at that Rachel Ray event, the one where he and Matt had been on the same Taco-Making Team™. Sam hadn’t been feeling well so Jack had brought him along for the day, keeping the little eyeball in his hoodie and out of sight, close to him in case Sam needed him. But in the midst of the chaos of the competition, Jack had been jostled by Matt, had tripped and landed on his arse. Matt had immediately apologized and laughed it off...but when he’d reached down to help Jack stand up, Sam had peaked out from where he’d been hiding in Jack’s hood. Matt had frozen, a stunned look on his face, and in an instant Jack knew that he had seen. That he knew. For a moment the pair had been frozen in a stare-off, neither sure what to do. Then Jack had shaken his head quickly and put a finger to his lips. No. Please. Quiet. Don’t say anything...

...and Matt had nodded. He’d helped Jack to his feet and not commented on it at all. Tom (their third teammate) had missed the entire exchange, cracking some joke about “Laying down on the job”. Later, in a bathroom down a back hallway, Jack had explained everything to Matt...and Matt had sworn he wouldn’t tell a soul.

So when #SamLived had taken the YouTube scene by storm faster than Scott Cawthon turned out FNaF games, and when Jack saw that GameTheory had made a video about it....he knew what Matt was trying to do. The video wasn’t proving that Sam was real. The video was to try and counter-prove the theories saying he was and to point out all the reasons why Sam couldn’t possibly exist. Which would have been fine, except that it meant all of the fans over on the GameTheory channel who hadn’t heard about the #SamLives chaos would now be in the know.

“...ack? Jack!”

“Hm...?” Jack dragged himself from his thoughts and blinked, shaking himself mentally. “Sorry Peej, I missed that.”

PJ was watching him from the office chair next to his with a frown on his face. He nudged the Irishman’s leg with his foot.

“Man, you were totally out of it for a bit there. I was just saying you should get some sleep.”

“I’m tryin’, PJ, I swear I am,” Jack smiled weakly. “I’ve just been stressed. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

"Are you still up for recording a game today? We can wait until next week if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Jack pulled on a brighter smile. Good ol’ PJ. He was a decent guy and an even better friend. But Jack shook his head, running a hand through his hair to fix it. “Don’t worry about me. One video isn’t gonna be the death of me! I’ll take a nap when we’re done, alright?”

PJ held up both hands in surrender, returning the Irishman’s infectious grin.

“Whatever you say! But you had better be serious about that nap. You look like you need it.”

Jack scoffed and laughed, his next words dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh, thaaaanks, thanks for the compliment. I reeaaally needed that self-esteem boost. You’re too kind.”

“No problem!” PJ grinned cheekily back at him.

The two fell into laughter, and once they had started into the Nintendo Switch game they’d planned on recording, most of Jack’s worries fell away for the time being.

That’s not to say they didn’t come back. Jack kept his promise to PJ. He took a nap, crashing onto his couch with all the grace of a baby giraffe. Signe - knowing he needed the rest - only pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving him to his devices. But his sleep was a restless one, leaving him feeling only a fraction better when he woke up later to his phone ringing on the coffee table beside him.

With his face still buried in the stiff couch pillows, Jack reached out out blindly, his hand skittering across the table’s surface like a drunk spider, landing on the remote, a game controller, and yesterday’s mail before finally coming into contact with his phone. He answered it without looking, face still half-mushed in the pillow.

“Mph?”

“...Jack?”

“Wassup?”

“Did I wake you up?”

The humorous tone on the other end of the phone was vaguely familiar, and it took him a moment to make the connection in his barely-woken-up state.

“...you’ve reached Jacksepticeye’s mouth. His brain isn’t here right now, but if ye call back again in a few minutes it might’ve come back around by then. Either that, or his mouth will have left too.”

“The infamous screaming Irishman of YouTube, missing his mouth? The horror!”

“Oh, shuddup Mark,” Jack chuckled. He dragged himself into a semi-upright position, slouching on the couch. “What’s up?”

“What are you doing asleep at six in the evening?”

“I took a nap.” Jack yawned and scratched at the scruff along his jaw. “Is there a reason fer this call or didja just miss hearin’ my voice?”

“Can ‘both’ be an answer?” Jack could hear Mark’s grin from the other end of the line.

“Heh, I s’ppose,” he chuckled a little. “But really, what’s up?”

“I...eh. Saw the video that GameTheory posted. He really jumped on the bandwagon quickly, didn’t he?”

“Is this about Sam again?” Jack didn’t mean for it to come out as annoyed as it did, honestly. He really didn’t. But it sounded that way anyway and he winced at his own words. Signe stuck her head out from the doorway to the kitchen, an eyebrow raised in question. Jack waved her off with a soft smile.

“I...” Mark faltered. Seemed like he’d hit the nail right on the head. “...well, yeah, but I’ve got a reason for bringing it up, I swear.” The American was quick to defend himself, and Jack couldn’t help but wonder if Mark thought he’d hang up because of the subject matter. He sighed and sat up a little straighter.

“Oh yeah?” Jack asked, trying to sound more friendly. “And what reason might that be?”

“Well see...the thing is...” Mark trailed off. Jack could hear sounds in the background, movement. Like Mark was moving around the house. Was he pacing? “...I mean...w-well, it’s kinda...weird. I mean not bad weird, or freaky weird - okay it might be a little freaky to some people but–”

“If this is about your third nipple I already know,” Jack snickered, trying to lessen the tension with a joke. But it didn’t seem to help because Mark let out a frustrated groan on the other end of the line.

“No! No, it’s...” More silence. “Okay, it’s kind of about Sam, but kinda not.”

“Okay...?” Jack stood up from the couch, shuffling to the kitchen as Mark struggled to find the words he wanted to say. Coffee. He needed coffee for this.

“OH!” Mark shouted suddenly, as if he’d had an epiphany. “OH! Oh oh oh! Okay! So! In Bendy and the Ink Machine, Joey Drew has that...that one tape recording, where he’s talking about belief. About how it can do amazing, impossible things, and how you could even cheat death or something–”

“Mark, what in th’ blue blazes does this have ta do with my imaginary friend?”

“I’m getting there, I promise.”

Jack rolled his eyes and started the coffee machine, leaning back against the counter with one hand tucked in his pocket. Signe was seated at the kitchen table with a book, and she was still giving him puzzled looks that made her curiosity about his phone call clear. Jack covered the mouthpiece and lowered his voice.

"It's Mark," he murmured. "Keeps asking about Sam."

"You gonna tell him the truth?" Signe asked.

Her hands were cupped around a warm mug of tea, and she held it up near her face to let the steam warm her while she waited for a response. Jack didn't respond right away...but before he could even figure out an answer, his phone buzzed against his ear, a notification pinging in the background. So he pulled the mobile away from his face and put the call on speaker, minimizing the app so he could check whatever had just gone off. All he offered Signe was a half-shrug as his response to her question.

“Belief. I’m talking about belief,” Mark continued. Jack opened Twitter, still listening. “I never really thought about it before I played Bendy, but afterwards...it just made sense! And then you posted that video with Sam and I remembered that quote from the game...”

Jack swiped over to his messages, and saw one from somebody he was fairly certain he wasn’t friends with. Weird...he tapped it. It took a long time for the message to load, and once it did, the app closed itself out. Jack scrunched up his nose. Well then. It was gonna be one of those days then, huh? The rustle of static came over the speaker for a moment and Jack frowned, struggling to understand Mark’s words.

“If y...ave...nough of it you ca...”

“Mark? Mark, you’re cuttin’ out, man–”

Jack tugged his other hand free from his pocket and tapped the screen - and he gasped sharply when a static shock jolted through his finger. He shook his hand roughly through the air and winced, cursing under his breath. What the hell...? Then whatever weak connection he’d had with Mark’s call was gone, the call dropping and ending abruptly. Jack...blinked. And stared at his phone.

"You alright?" Signe looked up from her book again to frown at her boyfriend, who tugged on a soft smile. He shrugged and tucked his phone in his pocket. Ah, well...Mark must’ve had bad reception.

"I'm fine, Wiish," he crossed the kitchen to plant a kiss on the top of her head, squeezing one of her shoulders gently. "Just a little static shock. Surprised me more 'n anything. But don't worry about me! I'm a big, strong boy! I can handle anything!"

Jack's tone turned humorous and his antics drew a giggle from Signe, her eyes brightening and her lips curling up at the corners in a brilliant smile.

"Sure you can," she teased, poking at his side and making him scamper away. "A big, strong boy who's scared of being tickled."

"Hey! I'm not scared of it!" Jack protested as he continued making his coffee. He pretended to look highly affronted by the accusation. "I jus' don't like it! Can ye blame me?!"

Signe just stuck her tongue out in response then returned to her book, a soft smile still gracing her features.

Jack finished his coffee and moved on with his day, his focus turning to recording and uploading the day's videos…though somehow Mark’s little ramblings about “belief” lingered with him, hovering in the back of his mind.

What had he meant by that…?

[A/N] This part/chapter ended up being longer than the previous two...oops lol. Got a little carried away. I don’t have a real plan for this, but I have a feeew ideas about where it might go. This could get interesting... :3c

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[Chapter List]

[sourwolfstories]

what r some good long sterek fics pls help

Indelible Marks by billtheradish

The house never burned. The pack is strong. Derek will never need to be the alpha, and his sister is a troll. (Actually, most of his family is like that.)

Derek is an apprentice tattoo artist, and Stiles isn’t old enough to get ink of his own yet. But that doesn’t stop him from being interesting…

(This story is now out of buffer, but I will always announce when the next update will be, and am trying to keep to a regular posting schedule. Also, please be advised that this is essentially a rough draft. That doesn’t mean it’s riddled with typos, every chapter is edited, just that the overarching plot and side stories haven’t had a chance to be edited in full yet–but they will be. An edited version of this story will be posted eventually, so if the current length isn’t your cup of tea, just come back later.)

Home by TheTypewriterGirl

January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Hallowed Grounds by damnfancyscotch

Everything in Beacon Hills is the same when Stiles comes home from college.

Well, except for the fact that he’s a published author now, Scott is halfway across the world with a travelling circus, Erica’s epilepsy has been cured, her boss offers him a job too, and there’s this weird black dog that seems to be following him around just to judge him.

Oh, and the murders, of course.

But other than that stuff… totally the same old BH.

The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

Love Thy Neighbor…He’s Hot by Triangulum

Derek and Laura seriously lucked out with Stiles as their neighbor. Yeah he can be loud, but he keeps it to normal hours, and he brings them food, they have movie nights, he’s so beautiful, and okay, Derek might be pining. The only problem is, Stiles has a girlfriend. And Derek HATES her.

OR

The one where Derek and Laura live next door to Stiles, and Derek has a completely out of control crush. A Sterek as neighbors one shot AU that got wildly out of control.

The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam

It’s the summer after Stiles’ first year of college, and he’s working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he’s okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn’t care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he’s just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

Permanent Fixture by linksofmemories

Derek is Scott’s older brother. Stiles is Scott’s best friend. Derek is falling in love with Stiles. This is a bit of a problem.

Wild Horses by thepsychicclam

Derek’s a drifter with no home, no destination, and no will to live. Stiles works on his family’s failing cattle and horse ranch while all his friends are going off to college. When Derek falls asleep in a random barn, exhausted and half-starved, he doesn’t expect to wake up on the other end of the sheriff’s shotgun. And Stiles sure as hell doesn’t expect his dad to invite the drifter in for breakfast.

Play Crack the Sky by WeAreTheCyclones

Excerpt from “Hale Pulls the Plug on the Future of Rock,” Rolling Stone, Issue 1203 – Oct. 2014“Fans and music industry vets alike are left reeling in the wake of bassist Derek Hale’s sudden departure from Smokes for Harris. At a time when the foursome from Beacon Hills, California seems to be on the cusp of rock superstardom after just one double platinum record, Smokes has everything to lose.”

Excerpt from “Smokes for Harris: Gladiator,” SPIN.com – Feb. 2015“Smokes for Harris gives in a little to the pop punk of yesteryear in their sophomore effort, but rather than pandering to fans of a lost era they elevate the genre in a way that hasn’t been seen in quite some time. Frontman Stiles Stilinski works double duty as singer and primary songwriter and proves that he can handle the task even without former bassist Derek Hale.“

Three Marks by sanam

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off—And suddenly it was done.Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt.”

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

Windows by dr_girlfriend

Derek has a new neighbor who won’t stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I…I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi

“Three weeks,” Derek says.

“Still don’t want to,” Stiles says.

“I’ll pay you,” Derek says, and that… that has Stiles interested. Alf’s Antique’s may be a great job, but it’s not a high-paying job, and half of Stiles’s tuition is coming from financial aid, so…

“How much,” Stiles asks, “are we talking here? Because I know your family, dude. And it’ll be kind of awkward after.“

“My family thinks you’re some sort of fucking gift to the world,” Derek seethes, like he’s jealous, “they’ll probably be pissed at me when we break it off, so don’t worry about that. Five hundred bucks.”

“A thousand,” Stiles says, because screw ethics. Also, the Hale family is loaded. Derek can deal.

Dating Backwards by RemainNameless

Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That’s not going to change after they meet. It’s really not.(It might.)

Didn’t See That Coming by knittersrevolt

Stiles leaves Beacon Hills in the dust after he catches his husband cheating on him.

He finds his way to New York where he starts working for the Hale House Nursery, accidentally adopts a werewolf baby (through no fault of his own thank-you-very-much), and somehow starts training to be an Exorcist Emissary. So, in general, life was going good.

Then he hears that demons have found their way into his hometown. Can he face his inner demons and go back to save the day?

No Homo by RemainNameless

Stiles’ sophomore year starts something like this:3 FourLokos+ 1 peer-pressuring cat- 1 best bro to end all best bros= 1 Craigslist ad headline that reads “str8 dude - m4m - strictly platonic”.Derek is the fool who replies.

There’s Monsters at Home by calrissian18

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many.

The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.”

Derek despised him.

Prince Among Wolves by tylerfucklin

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

Between Men and Lions by standinginanicedress

“I thought we could be friends,” Derek offers, to which Stiles gets an odd smile on his face.

“Friends,” he repeats, an odd inflection.

“Yes, friends.”

Stiles laughs, just barely. It’s more of an exhalation of breath than it is genuine mirth or anything else, and then he smiles. “I’m pretty good at friends,” he says with a tilt to his head, and Derek clears his throat and has to look away.

What’s Best For Everyone, Isn’t What’s Easy by gatergirl79

Derek is gone and Stiles is left holding the baby…well, a cheery three year old named Leah actually. While Derek searches for her mom, Stiles plays daddy. When the sour-alpha wolf returns with his ex in toe, things get strained between Stiles and Derek. Especially now that’s they’ve realized just what they mean to each other

[cyberkevvideo]

Throne of Night Theory Builds Part 15: The Fiendish Messenger

Imagine my surprise when I happened upon NEW ART from SpiralMagus for the “Throne of Night” AP. I’m so glad Pinterest exists. I hope I’m lucky enough to come across even more art. It’s so good! When I saw it though, I had to think about how I’d go about building this. That sword, especially. It looks like a bastard sword version of Hellbrand from “Way of the Wicked”.

For space reasons, I’ll be cropping the encounter build.

All images shared here were done by the forever fantastic and amazingly talented Michael D. Clarke, aka SpiralMagus

EDIT: Definitely a habit, especially since I haven’t gone back to edit and clean things, but like other parts I’ve released, I’ll eventually clean up the stats later and make it look more pretty. For now I’m posting this as-is.

Over the course of many adventure paths and modules, I noticed that you don’t see too many bard builds. A lot of people don’t like the class, but when the chips are down, that’s when they wish they had one to help boost allies or control the battlefield. So for this, while I could have gone kensai magus, I decided instead to do a controller bard type. It made sense to me as she’s supposed to be a messenger. I have no idea if that’s what Gary had in store, or if he was going to do a magus, or even a wizard/fighter/eldritch knight. All are very plausible.

Funny enough, I had already written a set of stats for a drow baroness that I never got to use because I royally messed up and got it mixed up with art that was already in Book 1. I decided to not let it go to waste, and re-purpose it for this build. Works perfectly because she’s literally supposed to be a messenger. Now whether she’s there for diplomatic reasons or to give an ultimatum is unknown, but here she is nonetheless.

I’m sure I’m off with how Gary envisioned the blade, but I was trying to think of a practical weapon that would have those sigils, and be useful for both the dwarf and drow side of things. Then I thought, those sigils/runes kind of look like what you’d see for dispelling traps. While drow and half-fiends don’t have the dispel magic spell, a negating weapon property could work too. Interestingly enough, there’s a heartseeker ability (negates concealment miss chance), negating ability (partially negate certain DR), and a nullifying ability. Unfortunately the latter is far too expensive at +3 to add to this, but maybe it could be added either through someone using the Craft item feats or perhaps a ritual. Spell resistance is pretty crazy, even at high levels. Being able to reduce that with each strike would definitely be a boon.

T’RISSAUN CLADDGHYM THE SCARRED (CR 16; 76,800 XP) Female half-fiend drow bard (arcane duelist) 14 NE Medium outsider (native) Init +5; Senses darkvision 120 ft.; Perception +18 DEFENSE AC 25 touch 17, flat-footed 19 (+5 armor, +1 deflection, +5 Dex, +1 dodge, +3 natural); +3 vs. good hp 136 (14d8+70) Fort +8, Ref +14, Will +9; +2 vs. enchantment, +4 vs. good DR 10/magic, Immune poison, sleep; Resist acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10; SR 27 Weaknesses light blindness OFFENSE Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. Melee Naukyorlin +17/+12 (1d10+4/17–20 plus poison), bite +10 (1d6+1) or     bite +15 (1d6+2) and 2 claws +15 (1d4+2) Special Attacks bardic performance 34 rounds (swift action; bladethirst +3, dirge of doom, distraction, fascinate, frightening tune, inspire competence +4, inspire courage +3, inspire greatness, inspire heroics, rallying cry, soothing performance), smite good 1/day (+4 atk, +14 dmg) Spell Like Abilities (CL 14th; concentration +18)   Constant—detect magic   3/day—darkness, poison (F-DC 18), unholy aura   1/day—blasphemy (W-DC 21), contagion (F-DC 17), dancing lights, darkness, desecrate, faerie fire, unhallow, unholy blight (W-DC 18) Bard Spells Known (CL 14th; concentration +18)   5th (2/day)—bard’s escape, mass suggestion (W-DC 19), mind fog   4th (5/day)—freedom of movement, hold monster (W-DC 18), legend lore, shout (F-DC 18)   3rd (5/day)—charm monster (W-DC 17), cure serious wounds, haste, scrying, see invisibility   2nd (6/day)—blur, detect thoughts (W-DC 16), eagle’s splendor, mirror image, invisibility, silence   1st (6/day)—comprehend languages, cure light wounds, grease, recharge innate magic, saving finale, unseen servant   0 (at will)—detect magic, mage hand, message, open/close, prestidigitation, read magic STATISTICS Str 14, Dex 21, Con 18, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 18 Base Atk +10 CMB +12 CMD 29 Feats Arcane StrikeB, Combat CastingB, Dodge, DisruptiveB, Exotic Weapon Proficiency (bastard sword), Improved Critical (longsword), Penetrating StrikeB, Power Attack, Slashing Grace, SpellbreakerB, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (longsword) Skills Acrobatics +18, Bluff +12, Diplomacy +13, Fly +13, Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, history, local, nature) +6, Knowledge (nobility) +9, Knowledge (plane, religion) +7, Intimidate +11, Linguistics +7, Perception +18, Perform (oratory) +17, Sense Motive +11, Spellcraft +14, Use Magic Device +10; Racial Modifiers +2 Perception Languages Abyssal, Common, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Elven, Undercommon SQ arcane armor, arcane bond (Naukyorlin), poison use, weapon familiarity Personal Gear +2 glamered augmented studded leather, Naukyorlin (+1 heartseeker negating sword), amulet of natural armor +2, belt of incredible dexterity +2, ring of arcane signets, vambraces of defense SPECIAL ABILITIES Poison Use (Ex) Drow are skilled in the use of poison and never risk accidentally poisoning themselves. Drow favor an insidious toxin that causes its victims to lapse into unconsciousness—this poison allows drow to capture slaves with great ease. Drow Poison—injury; save Fort DC 13; frequency 1/minute for 2 minutes; initial effect unconsciousness for 1 minute; secondary effect unconsciousness for 2d4 hours; cure 1 save.

-- drow name means “Sword Dancer of House ‘Warriors of the Forgotten Ways’” -- sword name means “No Guarding”

[polarwandersea]

Proof of a right wing conspiracy the Clinton Chronicles

The next scandal or conspiracy I will be focusing on in this text post is “The Clinton Chronicles,” is a 1994 film that accused the Clintons of a range of crimes. In order to understand this scandal there are some people you need to know.

1. The infamous Larry Nichols. This is the same man who was involved in my last post and who helped orchestrate the Gennifer Flowers scandal. While Nichols apologized and admitted his wrongdoings in the Flowers scandal, he never quite got rid of his need for revenge and as soon as new opportunities came up for revenge, he went after them. Quick reminder Nichols had bad blood with Bill since he was fired from his job working at the ADFA. 2. Pat Matrisciana was the producer of the film: The Clinton Chronicles. He was also the founder of the conservative group Citizens for Honest Government. (this group will come into play later on in this post.) 3. Reverend Jerry Falwell. He was was an American Southern Baptist pastor, televangelist, and conservative activist. He also owned Falwell’s liberty alliance which helped produce shows and videos. Falwell was basically the caricature of what a bigoted right wing extremist christian would be like. Here are some of his quotes: “The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”       “ AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

Facts and background information: 1. The Citizens for Honest Government was registered with the IRS under section 501 (c) (3) of the tax code as a nonprofit educational organization, theoretically non-partisan, tax-exempt and free to solicit tax-deductible charitable contributions. In practice, the organization had two main purposes: to propagate the political and religious beliefs of the extreme religious right, with which its founder and sole proprietor Pat Matrisciana was closely allied; and to promote and distribute video tapes by Jeremiah Films and Integrity Films, two for-profit corporate entities he (Mastrisciana) owned. 2. Until 1993, Jeremiah Films produced slick melodramatic videos on themes mainly of interest to Christian fundamentalists. To give you a gist of how paranoid and crazy these films and documentaries were here are some examples:                                                                                                                                       Halloween, Trick or Treat? warned parents that lurking behind such “seemingly innocent symbolism” as black cats and jack-o’-lanterns lay a satanic plot to seduce their children into “Pagan Occultism.” There was also a film produced by this company called Gay Rights, Special Rights where the film focused on “the hidden purpose of civil rights laws forbidding discrimination by sexual presence:to enable homosexuals to procreate in public classrooms where they recruit and propagandize the innocent.”                                                                                                                                              

Now that you know what what type of paranoid and extremist people that were involved in this, let’s get on with The Clinton Chronicles Scandal and how all these men came to know each other and work on this.

1. Matrisciana and Nichols were introduced in late 1993 by a former NBC News cameraman named John Hillyer who had been hired by Matrisciana to scout Arkansas for anti-Clinton material. 2. Before The Clinton Chronicles, Matrisciana and Nichols’s first joint venture was a thirty-minute video called Circle of Power. Distributed nationwide by Falwell’s Liberty Alliance (this is how Reverend Jerry Falwell who was introduced at the start of the post becomes involved,) in early 1994, the video opens with Nichols earnestly telling of “countless people who mysteriously died” after running afoul of Clinton’s political ambition. Taking Vince  Foster’s death as a starting point, Circle of Power, tied President Clinton to a series of suicides, accidental deaths, and unsolved homicides.

The Clinton Chronicles: Facts: 1.The Clinton Chronicles was the second more ambitious production of these three men that reached the widest audience after it was released that Spring. 2. The largest volume of fabrications in The Clinton Chronicles concerned the ADFA (where Larry Nichols had worked and had been fired from.) 3. Falwell promoted The Clinton Chronicles as if it were The Ten Commandments. For four successful weeks in May 1994, viewers of Virginia evangelist’s syndicated TV program, The Old-Time Gospel Hour, saw not sermons and spirituals but excerpts from Circle Of Power and The Clinton Chronicles, along with a half-hour informercial touting the videos for a donation of $40 plus $3 shipping and handling. A few of the more than two hundred TV stations that carried Falwell’s program deemed the episodes political rather than religious and refused to broadcast them without payment, but most showed them on schedule.

Now this part is hilarious: Toward the end of the thirty-minute infomercial, Falwell interviewed a figure in silhouette, identified only as an “investigative reporter.” “Can you please tell me and the American people why you think that your life and the lives of the others on this video are in danger?” Falwell asked. “Two weeks ago we had an interview with a man who was an insider,” the dark figure replies. “His plane crashed and he was killed an hour before the interview. You may say this is just a coincidence, but there was another fellow that we were going to interview and he was killed in a plane crash. Are these coincidences? I don’t think so.”  The silhouette’s voice was recognized by investigative reporter Murray Wass, who finally got Pat Matrisciana to admit he was the mystery man. “Obviously, I’m not an investigative reporter,” Matrisciana confessed, “and I doubt that our lives were actually ever in any real danger. That was Jerry’s (Falwell’s) idea to do that… He thought that would be dramatic.”

False claims and faults In the Clinton Chronicles: 1. Although the video came advertised as a documentary, many who appeared in it got paid. Citizens for Honest Government ledgers show that the organization paid out more than $200,000 to individuals featured in the Clinton videos between 1994 and 1996. Nichols repeatedly claimed to have received no money but was in fact paid $89,000 according to the ledgers. Jim Johnson (enemy of Bill’s from Arkansas I posted about him here) received a new pickup truck, while Paula Jones and her husband received a paltry of $1,000 for their appearance in The Clinton Chronicles.         “We did not pay people to tell lies,” Martisciana told Salon magazine reporter Murray Wass. “We paid people so that they would no longer have to be afraid to tell the truth.” (lol faulty logic at it’s finest am I right ladies?)

2. Veteran reporter Carrier Rengers drew the assignment of reviewing The Clinton Chronicles for the resolutely Republican Arkansas Democratic-Gazette. “Apparently,” she commented tartly, “honesty isn’t necessary in videos.” She painstakingly debunked its most absurd assertions. Had then Governor Clinton really failed to balance Arkansas’s state budget even once? In fact, he had done so every year because state law forbids deficit spending. Had he, as the video alleged, issued a full pardon to a political supporter named Dan Lasater who was convicted of giving cocaine to his aquaninstences? Impossible, because Lasater had pleaded guilty to a federal crime.

Other things you should know: 1. Another Arkansan who joined with the Citizens for Honest Government was a former Saline County deputy sheriff named John Brown. Over a two year period between 1994 and 1995, Pat Martisciana paid the ex-homicide detective $28,000 for “investigative work,” on anti-Clinton videos and Brown appeared in two of them. He took the money, but soon came to take a jaundiced view of Matrisciana’s operation. Later on Brown, regretted his involvement with Martisciana. Although he had appeared on The New Clinton Chronicles (a revised but basically the same as the first edition version) and a second video titled Obstruction Of Justice, he contends that his remarks were scripted, electronically, altered and placed in a context that entirely changed their meaning. Moreover he says the same is true of virtually all the law enforcement officers who appear on Martisciana’s videos.                                                                                                                                                                                                    “If they’d had been halfway honest,” Brown explained to a Little Rock reporter, “they’d have called themselves Citizens against Democrats. Basically, they just wanted to play a game of connect the dots. Except that every picture had to show Bill Clinton’s face. They’d take somebody like Dan Lasater or even Roger Clinton, and find a way to tie everything they’d done wrong to Bill Clinton.”

    2. One possible explanation for Nichols’s erratic behavior and persistence of revenge towards Bill Clinton was his own addiction to the painkiller Dilaudid . By the time of the Clinton Chronicles, Nichols was gobbling pills buy the handful and staggering around in a daze much of the time. Dilaudid is a Schedule II narcotic with potentially fatal side effects, including suppressed respiration, mode disturbances, and impaired judgment.

Conclusion: The Clinton Chronicles was not based on fact but rather each of the men using the film to get back at the Clintons and further their agenda. Nichols still wanted revenge and Martisciana wanted money as well as revenge. Falwell wanted to use the film to further his political and religious agenda at the same time by going against the Clintons new age new democrat Liberal politics and portraying it as a sin.

Honorable mentions: 1. In a strange incident, Brown insisted he saw Nichols demonstrate his toughness by emerging from the bathroom having run an electric guitar cord through his scrotum. “That was it for me,” Brown exclaimed. “I got up in his face and told him if he ever came around me pilled up like that again, I would kick his ass and turn him in.” From that point forward, the former detective’s relationship with the Citizens for Honest Government deteriorated rapidly.” 2. On Monday, October 31, Jerry Falwell spoke before a Baptist preacher’s gathering in Little Rock. Originally scheduled to be held at Immanuel Baptist Church, where the President had worshiped during his years as governor, Falwell’s appearance had to be moved after Pastor Rex Horne refused to allow his church to be used for the event. Having watched The Old-Time Gospel Hour on cable tv, Horne felt that Falwell had blatantly violated the Ninth commandment by bearing false witness. “I happened to tune in on a Sunday morning,” he explained. “I saw Falwell promoting the video tapes that have been proven to be scurrilous and full of innuendo and falsehoods directed not just at the Clintons but other Arkansans. I could not, with good conscience , go along with it any longer. 3. Gary Johnson was in the Clinton Chronicles

also here’s Nichols being interviewed on infowars pretty recently. Infowars is a youtube channel lots of Trump supporters watch so now you know lol.