#if you still dont like her or think her content has problems its fine and fair but like. she took the criticism and stopped. doing that.

[amatres]

not ppl bringing up the stephanie soo mukbang stuff after she stopped doing those and is making a consistent effort to be more respectful about heavier topics as well as getting rid of the said mukbang videos

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

(vibrates) it's slug time

loving the slang... "tightness all day long" "today is toasty". also love that "babes" survives way into the future. 15 this is ur legacy. "that woman was her sister" incest implication??? 2 minutes in

TURN LEFT /triggered

the design in this is impeccable.

this is so sims coded.... from the creators of "doctor who is a tv show" theory we bring u-> "doctor who is a videogame"

if u were disappointed with the focus on magic this ep this ep is rlly giving classic scifi parody lol

CRAZY DAYS

there's a lot of wordsmith-ing in this ep….eyes emoji

i love ruby sm now she's so resourful in every ep

this episode is like "this is how an anniversary multi-doctor multi-companion multi-master webcam special could still win"

ok but seriously. ppl are gonna be like "phones bad is dumb of course people look where they are!!!" bro. they dont. and yeah it can have deadly consequences. there's a reason "dont text and drive" campaigns happen.

ruby has done SO many callcenter type jobs forreal.

SLUG TIME SLUG TIME SLUG TIME.

DR PEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

this episode is amazing

"is that thing something to do with you?" bitch (i got a bit spoiled that she's a racist (damn "looking at tumblr for 2 secs to vibe check" habit) so im looking at this with more hindsight than u are supposed to sdlkfjd)

bluie light celeste and gold motif in ruby and the doc's backdrops? also fifteen in orange <3333333 my beloved

the interior design is ON POINT this ep "you dont know how to walk without the arrows?" "condescending much?" bitch

this episode is so fun lol

"fifteen nd ruby react channel" realness (WHICH…..HEY…….DO U KNOW WHAT PPL REACT TO………………………. T V SH O W S (clown make up fully on))

ruby has done so much service calling jobs forreal lol the sheer patience

the doctor really wanting to lose their minds here but having to hold it together is peak doctor sdkjfsd (also very realistic of the struggles i expected a black doctor to work thru)

there's a bit of a theme of instinct vs programming going on here.

"surrounded by this woodland forest thing. it's like, really natural"

hashtag obsessed with it the catharsis im feelin tbh. 2 ppl being like "yo mass killing is rlly wrong" while the cacophony of the internet ~fun goes on and on. where's the [fiction]

ITS LIKE LOVE ISLAND THE PLANET. BRO. bro im so WIRED IN /clown make up intensifies

penny pepper bean still strong holding the 12 ppl still in the tory party together in the year something something

"ruby and the doctor struggle to lie in the moment" is my favorite recurring trope

the doctor using the sonic as a remote right there……………….. im running out of clown make up ya'll

"you did NOT just "@everyone" realism

no one ever listens to the goths….

until its too late…

its interesting that there's no cameras in their feeds, tho. right? like. that's the layer i think it's profoundly different to irl in this satire / social crit. ppl are *locked out* of the real world bc they're looking at their screens, but they do that bc the screens are a constant waterfall of billions of camera footage either of individuals or coporations or institutions. always producing "content". so like is not that ppl dont "see" anythign irl but they see it all thru a filter or thru editing,,,, but its fine i get what the satire is going for slkdfj but yeah. i think thats why it may feel a bit "not quite capturing" of the current ~digital ethos

fifteen so close to losing it- fifteen if u want to go for a bit of a timelord victorious i wont judge. u can have it. as a treat.

doctor who is a videogame energy bbc merch idea -> zombies run type podcast but it's the doctor and ruby telling u where to go for a job so u dont die. (russel get on this)

YOU STILL HAVE BATTERY PROBLEMS

"this is your fault!" iconic. classic who

so many ppl have presumably died so far. god bless. we needed an ep like this. proper high body count who feels good. feels organic.

rip the au where these were the beatles. thats 1 theory im really gonna mourn for the rest of the series lol

plaza 55…… orphan 55 reference???

great abrogation sounds important.

"i will get out out of here. i promise" obligatory doctor mirroring moment.

oh shit.

"thi iss SO manual"

"hands off" I LOVE THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor x companion x some bland guy love triangle DREAM omg

"he says they're saving us to eat for last (snob voice)maybe we're the most tasty" scream. this ep is so fun.

pentecost's style was so on point.

wasnt her battery running out? (i may have missed something sldkjf)

bro stop hitting the fucking gas pipes oh my goddddd

holy shit. RICKY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that was brutal.

racists are gonna hate this episode so much lol

fifteen getting to experience all the microaggressions/outright aggressions thirteen didnt. yay progress(???) "thats voodoo" holy shi t

"maintain the standards of finetime" rtd was pissed when writting this lol

fifteen is not doing all rightkids.

ncuti's "who's my doctor? he's a black man" prophecy comes FULL CIRCLE

fifteen looking at US tho…………… this is a tv show man. this is a tv show. this is - *im struggle against my straight-jacked as im graddged back to the cushion-walled cell*

the plot twist of this ep………… phones good actually. thank u phones. u are doing a service.

CONCLUSIONS!

so there's a lot of ways to chop this one…

"racism and capitalism still exists in the future" is a trope that it's kind of limiting / always grates me in some ways (it feeds into the anti-racism of ppl whose politics doesnt trascend idealist philosophy -> that is, it is an anti-racism that can't conceive of an end to racism bc it doesn't actually have a political project that address the material causes of racism and just tries to fix the "natural prejudices" away with "education". in other words, it cant portray a word without racism bc it cant *conveive* of one.) . however i think im more open to it this time / this series since s11 onwards the focus has been so much on telling stories about the present with scifi make up on. and i think this one manages to do that rlly well. ___

another vertice to look this one on is whether... is it really "doing anything" to have racism portrayed on screen (and other bigotry) in a scifi story? if u already experience racism or understand it happens, who is served by this? it's hurtful to watch and it's like missing the chance to "show a different world" is possible thru scifi. and the counterargument to that is on a """""color blind"""""" 2020s world it is rlly cathartic and re-affirming to have stories that *show* the realities of the world, and that dont shy away from showing those realities in fear of them coming off as "over the top" (bc they arent. some ppl will still walk away from this ep thinking "haha fun satires" but like. this is literally how White Rich People Talk. in real life.......) and again in this one time i think it works really well bc doctor who has… probably never done this? lol there's moments with martha and ryan for example, but never going this hard on it. but im open to discussion tbh. i think the angle of "is this a story about racism for white people to learn or is it a cathartic for *black / brown people to experience catharsis in" is gonna be one for fruitful discussion in the future. ___

besides the socio-political points,,,, bro this episode was a thrill ngl sdlkjf like so many simple, excellent moments like the girl walking into the light post. the made up slang and the real slang!!!!. the excellent interior design. "ruby and fifteen react to doctor who". just lots of fun little details. the execution was really inspired.

character point -> tbh fifteen at the end feels like a bit of Growth from like, ten at his worst moments -> "he's not the person you would have chosen to survive, but if you could decide who lives or dies, doctor, that would make you a monster"

also kinda wonder how this episde will hit for newbies / Not Us. i think a lot of its gut punch comes from dw never doing this before and so the strenght of subverting those expectations. is this an story that stands on its own w/o all the 60 years of context? we'll have to show it to our normie friends and see lol

[vaniliens]

Trans fairy tail characters go

- Levi. Most nonbinary person to nonbinary.

- being transmasc would fix erza I think. Or maybe just a he/him lesbian. Give erza testosterone she needs it

- as I said gajeel is nonbinary in a masc way. I don't this Metallica gave a single fuck about gender so gajeel didn't know what it was until he showed up in civilization. Uses he/him but could not care less. All pronouns kind of guy.

- Natsu is a similar but because igneel was a guy Natsu wanted to be to, and he wants to be just like his dad

- I feel like Fried (Freed? It's been like 4 years since the fairy tail hyperfixation) is bigender

- speaking of laxus' crew the knight guy with the souls. Agender. His name escapes me.

- gray is transmasc I make the rules. He and Lyon are both transmasc. They saw each other on galuna Island and mutually understood each other through their twisted siblingesque relationship that they were both men now but they all had bigger problems to content with

- I could see laxus as transfem. But so deeply in the closet it would be physically impossible for him to leave or externalize it. Because it's laxus

I hope you have a lovely day

THANK YOU FOR THESE HEAD CANONS I LOVE THESE SM??? TRANSFEM LAXUS WHOS SO DEEP IN THE CLOSET,,,, SO TRUE,,,, Transmasc Gray & Agender/NB Natsu my beloved headcanons too 😭😭‼️‼️ The dragon slayers would not know a thing about gender‼️‼️‼️‼️ And bickslow wouldnt care about gender either!!! Auauagh these are so good your mind is just 🎇🎇🎇

Here's a list of Everyone else i think might be trans too btw;

TRANSFEM/MASC / BIGENDER / NB LESBIAN JUVIA‼️‼️ I feel like she started E a little before Phantom Lord arc started but also, i feel like she could be transmasc but be as deep into the closet as Laxus is because of her heteronormative view 😭 Like her thinking shes definitely a woman because she "loves" Gray for being her savior (Cough. Its not a crush it was just admiration but she didnt know because- Cough. And she thought only women and men can be in love (Probably Bora's fault 🙄🙄🙄 but also she could've just read a lot of cishet love stories)) I imagine she'd only recognize how shes transmasc around the time she starts shipping Gray with Lyon when she thought "Oh gay people are fine actually" (& thus her lesbian / wlw awakening begins & she learns about how everyone else in the guild is queer & some trans) But i have no clue whether she recognizes it almost immediately or later on in her life once she detaches herself from Gray for once!!! SORRY FOR RAMBLING ABOUT THIS I have very complicated thoughts about Juvia & how shes been written & amatonormativity and stuff 😭🫶 shes a silly girl...

As ive mentioned before, Transfem Jellal 😌😌 I kinda only hc it because one of mutuals do too and i thought she was so right for that BUT ALSO!!! I feel like for Jellal he'd be too busy hating himself & trying to atone to realize or like. deal with it properly. "I could be a he/him transfem but im still a sinner so i dont have time to think about that rn" style!! Also maybe a few undertones of toxic masculinity seeping in (He has to be A Man and Man Up to face his punishments and to better himself or whatever)

Also Ultear & Meredy are trans too. but in what way you ask? I dunno,,,, they could be all be bigender and i wouldn't have bat an eye,,,,,,

TRANSFEM. BISCA. I like to think she found out she was transfem like pretty early on back when she was still living in Alvarez but kept herself closeted because she didnt have time to deal with it,,, until she moved to Fiore and went under her "Mulan Rouge" alias to start doing crime 👍 did her own DIY HRT until she joined FT when she finally had a legitimate source of income.

Maybe alzack is trans too that way they could be t4t 🫶

NONBINARY MIDNIGHT. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. NO QUESTIONS. THEY REPEATEDLY MAKE THE AUDIENCE QUESTION THEIR GENDER. GOD I WISH I WAS THEM.

T4T Elfever my beloved. Theres just no way they're cishet im sorry. They're too manly and too womanly to be cis. No cis person could ever be as masc 24/7 as elfman and as femme 24/7 as evergreen. Also the way Elfman refers to her as a 'woman' even though he usually calls EVERYONE a 'man'???

Nonbinary / transfem lisanna my beloved <333 im leaning more into agender though because i truly dont think she cares about gender that much especially after she came back to earthland BUT AT THE SAME TIME I know how much she likes her skirts and dresses

Agender Zeref in the "I dont care" and "I dont have time for this" and the "I Hate myself too much" way / style BABEYYYYY!!! This guys too full of issues to care about his pronouns but even if he did he would not give himself the freedom to think about it too much. Cmon hes been living for 400 years and God told him personally that hes not allowed to enjoy life.

I think thats all for now 😭 I think the entire FT guild is queer in some way like c'mon the themes in the story and everything just kinda makes that obvious in a way whether or not Mashima intended it 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, AGAIN!! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!

[flyingspicerack]

hey guys, this is very hard for me to talk about and bring up, but ive talked to a few people about it in priv already, and I think im ready to publicly talk about it...

When i joined the ososan fandom back in March, it was a bit... dead? And i was trying to grasp at straws, trying to find people to connect to, trying to make some friends, and came upon one person who I seemed to mesh with really well. She posted a lot about a big server she had full of people to talk about her content with and I was at first wary to join (i dont like big servers) but did so anyway. However, as I was wary, the two of us stayed in DMs for quite a while, in addition to me being in the big server as well. This person was equally reciprocating conversation with me, with equal excitement, with equal interest to the subject matter. I believe everything is going fine, them and I, i think, are becoming closer friends, she invited me to a smaller group run by someone else, things are good for a couple weeks. Im showing up and watching art streams, sure, im a little awkward, its a new group of people and I have adhd and am very neurodivergent (to which she claims she is as well) so i'm a bit... weird or whatever, but who isnt??

Then, I'm pulled aside, im pulled into a smaller group chat with this person and two 'mediators' to which this person proceeds to tear into me, telling me that i make her uncomfortable, that im being codependent with her (bitch the 'co' in 'codependency' implies ur reciprocating but claimed i was the only problem), i put her up on a pedestal, says our age gap is weird, etc. (I have screenshots of the whole 'confrontation' if ppl want to see it) and i was terrified... She never indicated prior to this that I was making her uncomfortable... I thought i was doing everything correctly, i thought i was being a friend, i thought we were equally excited to hang out with one another?

So, from this, because of this, this bitch fucking traumatized me. She had me believing, and still trying to unlearn, that i am annoying, that i am a nuisance, that im a bother to everyone that i come around, she destroyed my self esteem and destroyed how i try to make friendships because i am SO SCARED all the time now... that one of you is going to turn around and tell me that I put you on some kind of pedestal, that im being annoying and bothering you all too much, its why i disappeared the other day because i got scared i was posting too much, that i got scared that i was ... doing something wrong...

So... ok now that im in it, writing this, excuse my lack of composure for the rest of this post, i tried to hold it but now im getting angry

SO FUCKING MEANWHILE THIS BITCH, talking about codependency and age gaps in friendships, her two 'lackeys' apparently were her ONLY friends during like 4 years of her life (codependent hippocracy) AND she was into ososan from the beginning when she was like fucking 14, and one of her lakeys is OLDER than me at 29 AND WAS FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS 22 AND THIS BITCH WAS 14 SO you're gonna sit here and tell me that OUR age gap is weird when THAT SHIT is going on????????????????????? And fucking- PUTTING you on a fucking PEDESTAL?? when YOU are the one who is the OVERLORD of this fucking server you have with like 50+ peons, AND you have this nasty ass notification in the server to alert EVERYONE when someone leaves to which is kinda creepy and controlling??

Anyway i responded scared out of my mind and backed off... she didnt want to cut me out, just limit conversation and take me out of the smaller knit circle and we could still be friends, but obviously this freaked me out and i didnt talk to her much after that.... ANYWAY so this person THEN has the audacity to reach out to me a month or so later and is like 'hey... we haven't talked much and i think something might have happened between us? are we ok? you're really distant" and then i fucking laid into her cause i had the month to think on it...

If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, its bc the person 'in charge' is known as Ava, or pinklemonfruit here on tumblr, and one of her lackeys? Lovenu, who im pretty sure a lot of you already know of... theres another one, her name is emmy, her username here i believe is lichenqueen and was the other 'mediator' i have been told by one source that they potentially could be lying about their age, but take this with a grain of salt bc i have no proof of this

I unfortunately dove right into this when i came into the fandom bc i didn't know any better, i didn't know that these people were bad and caused problems back in the day... but now im aware and i need everyone else who may interact with them to know that they are not good people and have hurt me personally. They have caused me trauma that I am trying really hard to get over but i fear its going to take a long time...

This is MY personal story and account of interactions with these people and I will continue to believe what I know from personal experience. If you come to me, trying to defend any of these people or try to make light of this situation, you will no longer be allowed to associate with me. This fucked me up, and I will not compromise on this, you will no longer feel safe to be around if you condone how these people treated me. If you do not believe my words, then fine, but i will no longer desire company from people who will condone this type of treatment that I had to endure and have been suffering through the aftereffects of.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and im sorry if it ended up too personal at all. But, I really hope those that read this will... understand my timid behavior? Why im ALWAYS saying sorry? Why im always so scared in group setting like aggies, why im always so apprehensive and timid and keep thinking people are lying to me about really liking having me around? Its because of this, this is truly and horribly messed up to do to someone... making them feel so low and horrible about their existence ...

if you have any questions, i am willing to answer them...

[haven-gum-rockrose]

tell us about riz (ask game)

RIZ RIZ RIZ BET

first impression: oh this boy has so much frantic energy omg and cares so much about this penny girl he tries so hard, hes completely not sleeping to find his only friend...... Fuck I'm gonna end up kinning this guy, aren't I. And then it just kept going

impression now: ...... he cares. so. much. i care so much. its everything and he is everything to me- i actually dont know how to express it. he's like- holy. literally, he works for heaven now. but thats not important, he is.

Favorite moment....... fuck.... hmm... god i really like his interactions with Kalina. it could be "hiss at her, litigator!" followed by him hissing in court, but thats more a fig thing so.... while its not necessarily the moment, i like what it came to mean for his character. Him stuck in the palimpsest at the arcade, having lost to Penny's game, cutting his hands digging through the crystals, simply because that is so often referred back to

HONORABLE MENTIONS BECAUSE HES MY LITTLE GUY AND FUCK IT WE BALL: "i'm really gonna spiral here" after getting his own private office to do pi shit in, him suggesting "we can throw rocks in the river" as a hangout option because his only experience with what hangouts are like comes from violent productive adventuring and also noir mystery films/books/games, Riz inventinting the Night Yorb because he couldnt just relax. HIM TALKING TO HIS MOM ABOUT LIKE- IDFK WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF OR HOW TO INTERACT WITH MY FRIENDS IF THERES NOT A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE- like shoot me with a fucking gun why dont you- uhhhhhh... "its just a metal tube. i think its beautiful *and then i do a little dance*" ..... theres a lot imma shut up

Story idea....... shit- him hanging out with the seven. please. idk, im very content with my- WAIT NO i wouldnt write about him, but any fanfic where he interacts with jawbone(like as the guidance counselor, not as the dad of most of his friends) - head in hands-

unpopular opinion: shipping fabriz is fine. like i dont like it and any ship stuff for them i read(which i do read) i am personally interpreting as platonic cuz im really good at that, or unrequited. i know a lot of people get pressed about it cuz aroace erasure which yeah if youre changing him to demi thats a bit- or if its one of those "Pok was right, he might just be a late bloomer, lol theyre aged up and actually riz finds out he's pan lololol" thats a bit - like please stop. but if hes dating the guy as an aroace person or theyre qpring. whats the big deal. i know riz doesnt want a relationship and all but - that the point of shipping? like i know for some people its uncomfy especially with how its the most popular d20 ship(at least based on ao3), but to me its like- shipping is literally pushing together characters and its always purely self indulgent??? like ship whoever you want as long as he stays aroace. anyways i didnt need to justify myself and show both arguements like that. none of you know this guy. except two people hi eni and aether

favorite relatioship: ..... LISTEN IGNORE EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. FABIAN AND RIZ THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS FABIAN SEACASTER AND THE FUCKING BALL LIKE THEYVE COME SO FAR IN THEIR DYNAMIC ITS CHANGED SO MUCH - theyre so opposites theyre everything theyre everything THEY SHOULDNT BE FRIENDS! AND THEYRE NOT!! THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!! AUGH!!!

favorite headcanon: autistic and anxious...... uh..... my brain is very gone... i think he still has like a bunch of different friendship bracelets from Penny that he keeps in like little collectors cases. ALSO I DONT THINK SHE EVER GAVE THEM TO HIM I THINK THEY WOULD JUST LIKE APPEAR ON HIS WRIST SHE WAS SLEIGHT OF HANDING THOSE SHITS ONETO HIS WRISTS BECAUSE HE COMPLAINED IT DIDNT MATCH HIS AESTHETIC AND THEN SHED LEAVE AND HE BE LIKE- im gonna frame this and put in on my wall.... but like as in in a false bottom in a drawer so its cooler

[mummer]

Thank you for your WOT content. It truly is Not Good™ but I keep on watching for the like 30% of the time they show Matt or Rosamund Pike.

I have not been brave enough to read any of the series. I salute you for your valiant effort to wade though the awful gender takes to bring us more of Matt being gay 🫡

you’re welcome truly rosamund pike is so hot and embodies the role so well it’s worth it exclusively for her. the nice thing about the show is that it’s a show so even when its not great im still looking at Images and hearing Music and i dont have to put in a ton of effort. And it even has moments of being pretty good! and mat’s there! and they make sure in adaptation to make everything really clear and simple and it works you throw it on you chill out you’re having a fine time. the books are a problem cause i have to actually read them and think about what im reading.

[polyhexian]

Finale thoughts:

pacing up until luz's death was acceptable, fine, no problems really

pacing really fell apart toward the end

why were amity hunter gus and willow even in their own subplot if that subplot was so minimized it was almost entirely irrelevent? why couldnt they be there for the big boss battle and to see luz's death? :(

wow. all luz's friends and camila really became completely irrelevant LOL. raine got more than hunter.

no stab :( i still think they wanted it but. rip

wow family really... got dropped this time. im surprised that for all the wonderful eda and king and luz togetherness... we never had luz call eda mom or eda use the word daughter, and luz never called king her brother. or hunter. its so built up that hunter and luz are belos and caleb parallels and like. siblings as hell. im... surprised that was completely dropped

post canon rejected sorry

waffles can stay

no, i mean. theres a lot of things in the timeskip i do like but. a loooot i do not care for.

luz moved back home and finished human school? why? i really thought we were building up to camila letting her go, that she loves luz more than she loves having her, that the same way vee doesnt belong in the boiling isles anymore luz no longer belongs in the human realm. uh. guess... not.

morningmark really hit it on the nose with that darius and hunter meeting comic huh

love that darius points out his shirt and gets the boy infodumping and also love the little alador scene but also

seriously darius cannot have custody

i am.... SHOCKED he did not get adopted as a noceda. i am legitimately shocked i was 100% that was a forgone conclusion

shocked and disappointed actually. sorry yall, fully rejected im just going to have to ignore this

damn hunter got tall lmfao

every single hairstyle after thanks to them has been so bad oh my god. give willow her hair back. cut hunters fucking hair again. GIVE EMIRA BACK HER HAIRRRRR.

i like that the portal is in the center of town

love the integration of nature and native boiling isles culture into civilization and modern culture. all the little titan imagery weaved into clothes, the big ol tree

i am still baffled and confused about humans and staff magic. luz's list of classes and the way she talks still seems to imply she cant do normal magic but. shes? she does magic. what? whats happening

what is going on with hunter. can he do magic? can he do spell circles? what?

lol owlbert allowed to exist again

not liliths raven i guess

do love her getting a raven harpy form last minute tho. did not need to be in the climax, just fine as a post canon reveal

they should not have done a timeskip. name one time a story has ever ended with a significant timeskip that has been satisfying. a timeskip of a few weeks or even a few months can work, aftermath, but a timeskip where development or major life events happen without the viewer? its never satisfying. it always leaves people a llittle hollow and frustrated. they should have just done her actual quinceañera after the defeat of belos and like. idk. a few weeks or a couple of months as our time skip instead of three-four years. dont like that at all.

im sorry what the fuck. the collector... left? we had a perfect excuse to depower him and let him stay and live among mortals and grow up. like i legitimately thought right before they said he left that eda was going to adopt him and he was going to join the family. im.... alright

im sorry. i dont like luz's titan magic form.

haha get fucked goop man

LOVE luz looking down at him with silent content

LOVE that it is boiling rain that begins to destroy him. it is the world itself, all of nature that ends up, he is rejected by the world he has invaded. and then he gets fucking stomped to death lmfao

also just like. fucking YES THANK YOU saying point blank to luz, no, killing the genocidal maniac does not in fact make you as bad as him. like. at all. thats ludicrous

luz's death scene was so fucking perfect, the scene itself was framed, scored and paced perfectly. i legitimately felt fucking sick watching it. i was full on nauseous. powerful and impactful. no matter how much i knew she was obviously not dead dead, it GOT me.

god please fix hunters hairrrrrrr

[my-mt-heart]

Oh my God pls dont go on twitter right now its insane. Some carylers and richonners are again arguing and its tiresome. Honestly. I ship both. My hearts belong to Caryl but im sure the fact that they re not canon like Richonne helped in that. If both had become canon by s6 for instance, i would love them both equally. Once R became canon, i instinctively turned to caryl more because i was starving of content while we had plenty of content for Richonne. But i love them both. And honestly, on twitter, both sides can be horrible. No, not all Richonners are ageist assho... No, not all Carylers are racist cun... definiteny not. And even if u ship only one of them, whatever the ship, its freaking fine. These guys are ruining it for everyone, both sides look pathetics in the eyes of GA.

I cannot fanthom why, in a world full of real fucking problems, there can be people fighting about FAKE characters. Being passionate about a show or a ship is one thing and totally fine. Not being able to separate actors from characters (again, from both sides) is ridiculous.

It is ok to ship whatever u want. Yes, even Bethyl, even Donnie, even Carzekiel, even fooking Learyl or whatever. I could not care less personnally. I ship Caryl, period. And i love Richonne. And Rick loves Carol, Michonne loves Carol, vice versa, Michonne has been closer to Daryl since Rick left, obviously Rick and Daryl are brothers, so all of this doesnt make sense. They re family. If they were real, they would be ashamed of those called fans. And i bet the actors are.

Honestly. Im sick of this fight. The show is over. There s a whole Richonne show coming and they re ruining it for me. They were supposed to be a caryl show, who turned into a daryl show, who might become a caryl one one day we dont know im lost but eh, just enjoy, please, people. This is a show. Not real life. Fight racism and ageism where u find it yes, including on medias, but stop arguing for no reasons over the internet for people who are not even real.

Sorry this turned into a rant. Not against u obviously.

Don't worry, it's not hard to convince me not to go on Twitter lol And I think we're on the same page re the ship war. It doesn't make any narrative sense to pit Richonne and Caryl against each other. Like you said, they're all family.

Michonne has always been in my top favorites and I like her relationship with Rick. I love Andy and Danai as actors. I'd definitely watch their show if it wasn't for Gimple working so hard to invalidate the relationship I'm most invested in. There is no sound business reason why Richonne and Caryl fans can't get what they want. There is no sound marketing reason why fans need to be miserable or at each other's throats all the time.

If I'm understanding correctly, you seem more drawn to the chase than actual canon? While I'm all for earning it, there comes a time when debts need to paid off and that should've happened in S11 for Caryl. There's still plenty of room for compelling storytelling post canon.

[golbrocklovely]

how are they always looking for an editor? and its always for sams half of work?? maybe dont write a novel on how people should do your work and then someone might actually want to work with you🤷🏼‍♀️ just a thought.

well last year it was just them editing. i think they had one person help them for some videos (or maybe just a handfull idk) but they never found someone permenant.

my guess is that sam micromanaged too hard and either the person quit or sam was like "you're not doing it the way i want you to, so goodbye."

and giving directions or notes on what you want the thing to look like… i get it. i'm a perfectionist too. but if you have to give literally 20 pages of directions, that means either you think the person is an idiot, you hired someone that isn't qualified at all, or YOU MICROMANAGE TOO MUCH.

snc (sam mostly, let's be honest here) have made it abundently clear that they want to have creative control over how the videos look, and that's fine. but if that is the case, and somehow you can't teach someone to replicate what you do, then you yourself HAVE to do it, especially if you're not gonna compromise at all.

which is why, again, i think they should take colby's part and train someone to do that instead of the creative aspect, that way they still have control over it and can do what they want without having to train someone in excessive detail.

i mean this with no disrespect towards sam but two things i have noticed about all of this: a), he truly thinks he does the most difficult part of the editing and b) he's really leaving colby in the dust with all of this nonsense. i mean, he makes it seem as if he's doing so. much. work. when in reality he is given a somewhat finished product by colby, who actually has to sit thru HOURS of footage and piece together a storyline that makes sense. and all sam does is add on stock footage, music, sound effects, and some basic text - which god knows are all in a folder that he's been reusing for years now - and making it seem as if he's going above and beyond that to finish the video. my issue with that is both of their parts are crucial, i will not argue about that (even if i downplayed what sam does as a joke). but sam has alluded that sometimes he goes back thru the footage colby edited down and adds more stuff in. so it's no fucking wonder he feels like he does more when he can barely trust colby to make a storyline and edit down 6-8 hours of footage.

and not only is colby doing that, he's pulling out parts and making videos of that extra content and putting it on xplrclub. sam doesn't touch the footage nine times out of ten after it was filmed. tbh, i think they both do about the same amount of editing, it's just one of them likes to act like they do more.

and sam is leaving colby in the dust with all of this bs. first off, he's gonna be burning a lot of bridges if he keeps searching for an editor that can replicate his style but is also someone he has to micromanage the whole time, or has to give 600 notes too bc god forbid it isn't up to his standard. like, i get you want the product to look good in the end, but clearly you either have too high of standards and are expecting too much or you're just a shit teacher and don't know how to train someone and thus are ending up with an editor you don't trust and product you don't like - which are all YOU problems. and the part that doesn't make sense at all to me is…. why is colby the only one, in the end, doing the editing? is he supposed to find an editor on his own? or is he expected to do his part of the video so sam can go off with his gf and do whatever? bc highkey it feels like the only reason colby is stuck editing and doing his own share is bc he doesn't have a gf that he has to look after bc she gets scared of her own shadow or can't be alone in their gated community mansion.

let me just rewind a bit bc i think i got slightly off topic lol

personally, i get sam on some aspects. i get wanting something to look exactly the way you want it too. i get being a perfectionist, having an idea of what you want something to look like, and not taking other ppl's advice or critiques when they give it. however, you also have to know when to just accep things as they are. and if you can't, then do them yourself. but don't get upset when you end up doing everything on your own.

if you want an editor, train someone to be your editor. don't hire an already experienced editor just to be pissed when they do things differently than you. and if you really have to give 100s of notes or 20 pages of directions………. you gotta tone it down a bit. you're not making movies, you're making youtube videos for christ's sake lol

[just-my-type-x]

Katrina gave up everything and started basing her content of off Sam once that influencer house was done. It wasnt til recently that she worked on music again and its not even backed by any music corp, it was just a friend in her room that fixed it on a laptop. She makes no other effort to keep it going, ask yourself why, because she’s comfortable. She stuck to tiktok, her first streams on twitch were filled with promises of Sam and Colby. She rarely does a youtube video without him and when she does it doesnt perform as well. she moved in and immediately started listing things she would change then the same thing with this house and told fans to buy from her store front to accomplish that. She at one point started and still does give up their filming locations and was claiming the paranormal investigation as her thing why because her own stuff wasnt working so she knows associating with him it will. Its not about when she started her career or what she did before him, no one is discrediting that she is a singer and has been working on it for years, its how she maintains her engagement up and so far its through being Sams gf. Can you genuinely tell me that without Sam she would be fine? She would have the same engagement? Same numbers? People would tune in and stay and not ask where he is because i dont think so, every other comment is about her possible marriage to Sam. just look at Devyn as an example, thought she had it and dropped merch and a channel and now her whole niche is just being coreys gf. Its not like Kat is non stop working on her own stuff either, then i would say sure shes her own independent self. The difference between her and stas is a title. She is actually a gf and Stas isnt but so far both have enjoyed the same benefits from being around the boys, trips, fancy dinners, fancy clubs only that kats benefits have an extension which include the houses. As for drinking, drinking socially is fine. When all you do is drink and it becomes a all day thing, and you find it ok to claim yourself an alcoholic as if this is not a major issue that kills people, and you know the majority of the people following you arent old enough to drink that is the problem. I remember last year when people said her and kat were hitting the bottle too much and that people had an issue with and quickly added their own experiences, but they say it in what they think is a joking cool way and suddenly thats fine, please. They are immature, the clickbait, the tweets, the baby voice, the provoking. Its all a tactic to draw the younger audience in but then she tries to act all sexy which is weird. I get if you like Kat but her being Sams gf doesnt mean she doesnt use his rise and platform for her benefit and to the point where her own content and creativity disappears because shes safe with his numbers. Her who she era and now are completely different.

Tho u’re also right, she’s doing a great job at being a tiktoker, so even without sam, that’s what keeps her going and it’s fine.

For the rest, if people really like her, they will definitely keep an eye on her. It’s on the fans who only follow her cuz she’s sam’s gf. If that works for her, that’s fine, but not everything is a success just bc she dates him. And obviously she benefits of some things, if my bf had Sam’s income he would treat me just the way Sam treats her (it’s a general saying, don’t come @ me saying that another guy wouldn’t do the same). If he likes spoiling her, then that’s fine, it’s his choice. And for real now, if she started having her own career, doesn’t matter how she got there, isn’t it normal for her to keep it going? Is she supposed to just stop bc she’s Kat Sam’s gf?

Clickbaiting is a lifestyle at this point, that gave so many youtubers a hot meal on the table every single day. It’s what sells and she knows it. Just because she makes vids with Sam doesn’t make her a social climber and that she uses him. She works on stuff and it’s not entirely her fault that she’s connected to him and obviously people assume he does everything for her to help her grow her platform. As of the redesign of the house, that pissed me off too and i knew people were gonna hate her approach 😂😂😂 and regarding the drinking, i’m way off that subject, cuz if they like showing off their cocktails oh well, but i don’t think they constantly keep in mind how old the people who watch them are.

anyway, as a conclusion, it goes back and forth, it depends on how u look at things. I don’t see her as doing something outrageous, she has a job and just lives in Sam’s shadow so everything correlates with him afterwards. She can’t stop being a content creator/singer, just bc she’s being accused of using him for views and stuff. When sam will feel like he adds too much to her bank account, he’ll back off. Sometimes we gotta keep in mind that they’ve been together for so long, it’s not a crime or even unusual saying that what’s mine is yours and vice versa. She doesn’t compel him to do anything he wouldn’t want to, let’s be honest.

[mrkis]

I know this may make me sound like a toxic person, but I promise I aint one, but this blog feels like a safe space and I kinda want to share this with someone.

So I have this friend who is also a kpop fan and we connected (initially) due to the fact that NCT is (or for her now seems like 'was') our ult group. Her bias is Taeyong and we had spent hours and days talking about the boys, watch content together, and overall just share our love for them together. However, last year she biased Hyunjin from skz and ever since she started stanning the group too, and I mean its not a bad thing nor is it a problem, its her choice ofc, but it somehow feels like she has forgotten about NCT alltogether and it sucks cause it was a big thing in our friendship.

We still talk about them when we see each other, and I do share stuff with her on insta like before, its just that she mostly ignores them or would watch but not comment, and suddenly I would be spammed with skz content. Here, I want to mention that I cannot consider myself a fan of skz, the boys are cool and they have some nice songs, but I never got to be more than a casual listener. They are just not my group, ya know? I get that she shares stuff with me cause she is excited about them but I cannot reciprocate with the same excitment because I am not a fan, and its kind of whatever to me. I try my best but its overwhelming me when she ignores the things about a group we both stanned hard at one point (I still do ofc, NCT are my everything). She has told me that she doesnt really watch content with NCT anymore, which is fine, I had such periods too, but idk man it still kinda stings especually when she spams me with 20+ videos of a content for a group I dont stan. I kinda want to tell her that, but I dont want to sound rude or disregarding, especially since I do share NCT stuff with her, but it my head its normal because not long ago was this our favorite group.

I have also noticed how passive she is with the things they came out with, she would not share the same excitement like before and that honestly makes me sad. And like I said before, its obviously her choice who her favorite group is, its not something I have a right to bitch about its just that lingering feeling of stigma and I guess disappointment that we no longer have those NCT filled days with watching content together and stuff.

I hope this doesnt make me sound like a bad friend and person, but there is no one around me with whom I can share this with and it has been heavy on my mind. I am not someone who lets go of memories so easily and it kinda backfires for me. 😅

-🦄

i'm sorry it took incredibly long for me to answer this. i actually kept this in my inbox for a bit to think abt the right words to say.

personally, i don't think that makes you sound like a bad friend/person. its how you feel and it's completely valid, and i don't think your friend is a bad friend/person either. we all fall out of touch and find newer things to be infatuated with. it happens, yk? i mean i used to be so far up bts's asses that they used to be all i ever spoke abt until i discovered nct. but i understand that you're upset over the fact of not sharing/bonding over the same group with a friend anymore, especially with the memories you've both shared...

i think you should talk to her and say that you don't have interest in a group you don't stan... but you also need to be prepared or accept that she maybe doesn't want to talk abt nct anymore??? its a hard and tricky situation, but it's best to be honest. i promise.

[revivisection]

its night time you know what that means! this is my diary now. very long week recap ahead.

my teeth are cool and good kind of now. they're actually still pretty awful but my front are work in progress they look mostly fine now and im not so vigilant at hiding my mouth :) not without a week's worth of pain and agony recovery but. you knoow. i will have to go through that again at some point oh well thank god for ibuprofen except it wears off before i can take another one. my upper lip was incredinly inflamed for a few days, bad experience.

you know you never really think about hpw much you use your mouth or just like. feel your mouth generally experience the life experience of having a mouth until there's problems with it. crazy how that works. i for one would have a much better time not having a mouth it's rather disgusting. ideal form i simply absorb energy through airwaves, or perhaps plug myself in to charge

after that i had to enroll in courses i was like surely i will have a fine and okay time. <-full of hubris. i slept through the first hour of course enrollment because i went to sleep at 6am and it opened at 9. so im now on two waitlists which probably wont let up. going to take latin though, going to become more pretentious just you wait. i think this is what you would call a "dark academia moment" but i dont think i actually know what dark academia is. school hasn't started yet but im having the biggest fucking imposter syndrome everyone who has ever told me how smart i am is a fucking liar.

had a fun lil trivia club day with some trivia club buddies. believe it or not, we did trivia. exciting, i know. anyways scratch what i said before whenever i get the right answer in trivia club i am literally the smartest man alive. why do all my friends have absolutely ancient editions of trivial pursuit (the words of someone who doesn't own any board games)

and yesterday i hung out with my dear friend @threecirclingbuzzards!! she let me scavenge through her big bag of miscellaneous patches it was very fruitful. my vest is very empty because i have to make everything myself and i simply do not. so now i have more things to put on it, the real question is when im actually going to sew. it was also cool because we are like brain linked we are like that image of clown-to-clown communication dont need to speak coherently because like. i get it. she gets it. we get it. the clown part is especially true because we were like. what to teens do. hang out at the mall. genius. and then we got there and it was two minutes from closing. genius. at the dollar store i got minecraft stickers god i love minecraft i will be forty fucking years old and not tire of minecraft

over the course of my mouth recovery time i listened to youtube videos to try and distract myself when falling sleep and i listened to a video about the evil within 1. i dont need to give background information but i will anyways.. back in like whenever of this year early this year some time this year i was scrolling through the discussion page of the tumblr sexyman wiki and there was a suggestion post for stefano valentini and i was like. woah. ive seen that man before. ive watched my fair share of oxbox/oxtra vids in my lifetime. and then i proceeded to go crazy. something about him makes me go absolutely nuts like awooga etc. who fucking knows. anyways i was content to never know anything about the evil within beyond that stefano valentini is like absurdly attractive until i watched that video about the evil within 1 while mildly Out Of It and i developed a very sudden crush on ruvik so now i know some things about the evil within. how was your day. another fucked up evil guy who i am compelled by. i cant fix him i cant make him worse but i CAN look at him from afar. all ive been able to draw lately is just ruvik faces idk man he's my latest fixation i guess. got him on the mind (except for when i was catching up on the patho tag today. i love my weekly spam reblogging from the patho tag except this time it's two weeks worth of posts becuase by god i was having a bad time)

perhaps i should actually watch a lets play of tew so i can know like. what the game is like in full properly and shit. shhhhh you dont see my incomplete patho2 save. i would play more horror games if i werent a little bitch, but im not so instead i just play stupid long fantasy rpgs. the sole reason i havent finished pathfinder kingmaker is because of that stupid goddamn darven quest oh my god i hate that man i hate that quest i need to speedrun it get it over with so i can enjoy the rest of the game but i simply cannot take it when the FUCK is he going to show up how much fuckng time needs to pass where are you bitch i need to xget this out of the fucking way so the hellknights stop crashing my place fucking my shit up i hate it her.e.

i wrote all of this because i am insuch! a mood today. idk whats up last nigh t i passed out instantly fell asleep died went to purgatory the moment i laid down on my bed like in an instant ive never been so sleepy in my life. and today i am incredibly humid but more than that the time actually melted away. like pretend time is a stick of butter in my hands except i preheated my hands in the oven for several minutes and the butter didnt even bother to melt so the preheating didnt matter it just slipped off my stupid little fingers. i woke up blinked now its night time. now nearly twelve hours have passed what the fuCK was i doing. nothing. i have no idea how this time passed i feel out of it (different) a different kind of out of it who knows maybe this is my natural tooth recovery time but instead for going outside two days in a row and having fun. this is my body and mind telling me to have less fun. wlel fuck you body and mind im hanging out with friends AGAIN tomorrow. see how you like that fucker. or maybe im just a little baby and its because i forgot to sleep with my stuffed animals last night. i have a build-a-bear longhorn i love him with my life i named him after my wife (artemy) he keeps me company because all i do is sit and rot.

also we havent read new pages of this dark endeavour in like11 days oops. the review WILL happen eventually okay i have so much to say about that wretched novel just when the summer book club completes it

[thickest-slimiest-malware]

more detailed spiderverse thoughts

if spiderverse 2 was the final one itd probably be miles dad quitting and thats how we find out you can change canon events or whatever. we didnt need a second story with a second cop dad. i think gwens story wouldve been sufficient if it was just about her band. they also couldve cut the bland bird fight and moved the other spider teams introduction, it wouldve been fine if we just followed miles story until gwen came to him and were introduced to the in-charge spider people when entering the spider world or whatever. if they werent making a sequel thats probably how it would go.

if they wanted to make it better, they should make gwen be less annoying, or have some more insightful thoughts about her being annoying.

also idk what theyre gonna do with uncle aaron but im suspicious of how theyre framing him and that universe. i dont think he would do that to miles, even an alternate miles. hes just a guy with a job. and even if he would do that in a specific snecario, the fact they created the perfect scenario for him to do that makes me think theyre trying to frame him as a bad guy which i dont like.

i hope theyre gonna roll that back in the last movie or make it some sort of misunderstanding, without giving him a redemption arc because he doesnt need it.

ok so this next thing isnt a real problem as is but it would be if they cut the things i described and suddenly lacked content: the villain (spot?) has very little going on. but i think hes a cool guy, they could figure something out. make him more inquisitive like the scientist he is, make him struggle more at the start and maybe show some of his daily life. im tELLING YOU HE HAS CUTE PATHETIC POTENTIAL but i suspect thats not where the story is going just because of the way hes designed. the movie really doesnt favour certain body types (thats a whole other can of worms about this franchise that im not opening here, its been going on since the first movie)

or build up miguel more, maybe make him more prominent as an antagonist (although he works okay as it is, i think the scene where he tries to bend miles to his will is great and he works well as a representation of a forced narrative that miles has to defy). they have to be careful with him, hes kind of a basic superhero guy, whose only (but important and interesting) flaw is that he's too lawful. they should follow that lead

also im repeating myself from a previous post but some of the characters just dont have much personality. i hope they let spiderwoman take more of a stance on things in the next one because shes quite inconclusive. is she a career person that doesnt see anything wrong with what theyre doing? does she let miguel do all that stuff because she respects him? or will she completely change camps and support miles when we see her again? what we currently know about her is that shes a spiderwoman and shes having a baby. thats not very anticapitalist of them, to only focus on what a character is doing for society and how shes useful (although showing that she is useful and valuable will do it for some people, that might be important too. but i never buy that archetype "i balance career with my baby perfectly! look how strong of a woman i am")

to sum it up, words cannot describe how little i cared about gwens deal. i wouldnt have brought back uncle aaron at all but since they did they need to make him endearing again. flesh out miguel and spiderwoman

also im only saying this because i care about spiderverse, and i think it has potential, and it has responsibilities and standards to meet that the first movie has set. i still think if youre gonna watch anything in the theatres right now, it should be spiderverse

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 23}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was torn.

Half of her thought that Cassian was overreacting, but the other half of her thought that his anger and frustration was perfectly justified.

What exactly were they getting into? And, was it what was best for Nyx? Yeah, the last month had been great, but if it didn’t work out, what would that mean for him? Would it be better if she and Cassian had simply remained two friends, co-parenting under one roof?

Nesta’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She felt like she was going into a panic attack.

Cassian and Nyx had been gone for an hour, and every second that passed became more and more unbearable.

She needed him to be there.

She needed to figure this out.

She just didn’t know what the answer was.

Alis had gotten into her head, there was no doubt about that. A little over an hour ago, she was living in a dream, then Alis came in, out of nowhere, and brought her back to reality.

She was sitting on the couch, almost exactly where he’d left her, when he finally returned. He was covered in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to him. Nyx was having a conversation with him, more to himself though, since it didn’t seem like Cassian was even close to paying attention to him. But his eyes went directly to Nesta as soon as he walked in.

She’d changed. She no longer wore his t-shirt, instead in a loose shirt of her own and a pair of jeans, and her hair was loose and wet around her face. As if she’d need to shower their night together, shower him off of her. Not a shred of that beautiful skin was showing, not like she’d been doing lately. Leggings and shorts and tank tops. She’d been comfortable around him.

With a scoff, Cassian set Nyx down on the floor. He headed for the stairs, but Nesta stood, nearly toppling the cup of coffee she’d been clutching over as she set it on the coffee table. “Cassian, we need to talk about this.”

He paused, waving a hand towards her. “What for? It looks like you’ve already made your decision.”

“I need you to calm down,” she said, steadily. “I need you to think logically.”

Cassian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me.”

Nesta hesitated. “Tell you what?”

“If this is something you want to pursue or if I just wasted the last couple months falling in love with you,” he finished.

His voice may have lacked emotion, but Nesta felt every word like a stab in the chest. Falling in love with you. Those were the words she was going to tell him today, under much different circumstances.

Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Now, she was overwhelmed.

Now, all of her thoughts were rushing toward the same spot in the middle of her skull at a thousand miles an hour, and when they got there, her head would explode.

“It’s not that easy,” she said, and her voice cracked.

“But it should be,” Cassian said. “If you feel the way that I do, it should be that easy.”

“We have to think of Nyx,” she breathed.

“I am thinking of Nyx,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low. At the sound of his name, the baby turned to look at him. “I want him to grow up in a happy home, seeing two people who love each other, and damn it if that isn’t how it’s been for the past few weeks.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “What happens if we break up? What happens if we get in a fight or something happens to one of us? What then?”

He had strode down the stairs and was in front of her before he could stop himself. He framed her face in his hands, like he had so many times the past month, to kiss her, to make love to her, to show her how he cared for her. “Why are you worrying about the what if’s? Why are you worrying about what could go wrong, rather than how right everything has been?”

Because everything goes wrong eventually. The only reason we’re together is because we were shoved into this house after the worst thing imaginable happened. They died. We took over. What right do we have to be happy?

The words flooded her mind, but stilled on her tongue.

Nesta didn’t push him away. She wanted to reach up on her toes and kiss him, softly, but she didn’t.

Instead, she met his gaze. “Cass,” she breathed.

The pain in his eyes nearly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Nyx had walked up to them and was hugging Nesta’s leg, as if he knew that she needed the comfort.

“Dont say my name like that,” he whispered.

Nesta slowly shook her head. “I just think this has all happened too quickly. We haven’t been thinking, we’ve just been acting-.”

“You’re pushing me away,” Cassian interrupted, swallowing harshly. “Damn it, Nesta.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.

“Because you’re not making sense,” he argued. “Things have been perfect—”

“They’re dead!” She cried, pulling from his grip, scooping Nyx up. “Things have been far from perfect. We’re only like this now because Rhys and Feyre are dead.”

The words seemed to freeze something inside of Cassian and he stepped back as well. “So what? We go back to how we used to be? I’m back in the guest room and we awkwardly exchange good mornings over breakfast?”

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, the scent of him, everything. “I don’t know, Cassian, I don’t—.” She took a shuddering breath, her arms wrapping tighter around Nyx. “I just need some time to think, to breathe…”

When she looked back up at him, his jaw was set and he was slowly nodding. “Fine. Take your time.”

And then he was moving, back up the stairs before Nesta could even ask what he was doing.

A few minutes later, he was back with a duffle bag in his hands.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

“Giving you space,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Nesta opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was frozen where she stood, her feet stuck to the floor, her mouth hanging open, that panic rising from the pit of her stomach into her heart, which was beating far too quickly.

Cassian kissed Nyx on the forehead as he passed, but paid Nesta no mind as he went for the door.

“Cassian!” She called, at last.

Cassian stopped just in front of the door, keeping his back to her, one hand on the doorknob.

“You're just going to leave?” She asked, quietly, bouncing a sleepy Nyx on her hip. “Just like that?”

Cassian didn’t turn around. “Are you going to ask me to stay?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. Nesta said nothing.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he grumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone. “Maybe I need time to think, too.”

He opened the door and shut it softly behind him.

*

He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He knew where he wanted to be, but right now…

He couldn’t look at her.

It didn’t escape him that when he’d told her he’d fallen in love with her, she didn’t say it back. He couldn’t even act like he hadn’t seen her eyes flare in panic. So he couldn’t stay there. Couldn’t go back to sleeping in that guest room, not when he’d become so used to sleeping with her in his arms every night.

So Cassian had ended up here, knocking on his brother’s door, thankful that his car had been parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

He needed a drink. He needed someone to tell him he was being an asshole. He needed someone to listen while he vented and bitched. He knew Azriel would do all that for him.

When he answered the door, Seph was in his arms, pulling on his bottom lip. She smiled when she saw Cassian, but Azriel’s surprised smile quickly faded.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, looking at the duffel bag tossed over Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Azriel stared at him for a second before stepping aside and letting Cassian pass.

“Are we talking about this now or later?” Azriel asked, shutting the door behind them.

“Beer?” Cassian asked, dropping his bag beside the couch.

“Fridge,” Azriel said, slowly, watching him.

Cassian made his way to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle and chugging its contents.

Azriel followed, leaning against the countertop and Seph continued to play with his lips.

“Where’s Elain?” Cassian asked, tossing the empty bottle into the trash and getting another.

“Work,” Azriel said, sighing. “So, if this involves smack talking Nesta, you may want to get it out now.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do that, barely wanted to think about her. But he owed Azriel at least some explanation.

“The social worker stopped by this morning,” he sighed, leaning back against the counter and opening the beer. “And honestly, yeah, it was unexpected, but I figured it’d be fine. Last time, Nes was drunk off her ass, but we— I figured, since we were more of a family this time, things would be great.”

Azriel blinked. “They’re not taking Nyx, are they?”

Another shake of his head. “No, gods, no. They— She could tell he was in good hands, but she immediately picked up on Nesta and I. What we’ve…become.”

It seemed, just like Cassian, Azriel didn’t see it as a problem. He wasn’t following. “And?”

“And Nyx was hungry so I left the social worker and Nesta alone to get him breakfast. I came back and she’s gone and Nesta is second-guessing our relationship. She asked if I’m just fucking her out of convenience.”

The thought made him sick to his stomach, almost as badly as it hurt his heart.

“And you replied with…” Azriel began, trailing off, waiting for Cassian to finish the sentence.

“I went for a jog,” Cassian said, shrugging.

“So you ran away?” Azriel pushed.

Cassian shot him a look. “No. I went for a jog.”

Azriel sighed. “And when you came back?”

“She said she needed space,” Cassian said, emptying his bottle.

Azriel set Seph on the floor with a plastic spatula, which she instantly start banging on the cabinets. “And that’s when you ran away?”

“I didn’t run,” Cassian snapped. “I gave her what she wanted. I gave her space.”

Azriel slowly shook his head. “Did you even try to talk things out?”

“Yes,” Cassian said, the word clipped. “Told her I was falling in love with her, and guess how she replied?”

Azriel watched his brother.

“Didn’t say a fucking word,” Cassian finished.

When Azriel didn’t speak, he walked back to the trash can, dropping the bottle inside.

“Quit looking at me like I’m the bad guy here,” he said, unable to turn around and look his brother in the eye. “She was ending it. She was calling things off and I’m supposed to, what? Just keep living there like we were before? Pretend nothing has changed?” He swallowed hard, willing the damn tears clouding his vision to fade. They wouldn’t. “She didn’t even ask me to stay.”

Azriel sighed, opening a cabinet beside the fridge that Seph couldn’t reach. He produced a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter. “I can’t drink until Elain gets home. And I absolutely think you need to talk to Nesta, but I think you’re right. You need to stay here tonight. Give her space.”

Cassian blinked, and a tear that was holding on slid free, down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He felt ridiculous, but it had been a long time since he had told a woman that he loved her. He’d never said it in his adulthood. A couple times in his teens, before he knew what the word really meant, but never as an adult.

He’d said it.

He’d meant it.

And she hadn’t felt the same.

Cassian nodded and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

*

Nesta stared at Cassian’s contact on her phone screen.

She wanted to press the call button, but didn’t.

She did open a blank text a few times, but couldn’t type anything.

She didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do.

She knew what she wanted.

She wanted Cassian.

But, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

She had never been one who was dependent on a man, had spent most of her twenties single and having no problem with it. But suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her day to day life without Cassian in it. And that terrified her.

She heard murmuring on the baby monitor sitting next to her on the side table and glanced over to see Nyx sitting up in his crib.

It had been nearly three hours since Cassian left, and aside from putting Nyx down for a nap, Nesta had barely moved. She still sat in the same spot on the couch she’d been in when the social worker had shown up and when she’d ignored that Cassian had said that he loved her.

The words should have filled her with joy and she should have screamed from the rooftops that she loved him, too. Instead she locked up and thought she was going to be sick.

What was wrong with her?

Wiping away the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen, Nesta hurried up the stairs, and into Nyx’s nursery. He reached for her the moment he saw her, his own big, blue eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“What’s wrong, bubba?” She cooed, resting his head against her shoulder.

After a deep sigh, he looked up at her and reached for a tear that had fallen down her cheek. His lip began to wobble.

“I’m okay,” Nesta promised, even though her voice cracked and those tears continued. “I’m okay, buddy, I promise.”

Nyx knew, though.

He knew something wasn’t right.

He knew Cassian was gone.

He knew Nesta was heartbroken.

Little did he know that her heartbreak was self-inflicted.

Nyx laid his head back on her shoulder and clung to her. He stayed like that as she walked back downstairs and sat back in her spot on the couch.

He held onto her, looking around the room. She knew he was looking for him and was about to tell him he wasn’t here when he spoke. The word wasn’t a mash up of noises like it had always been. No, it was a true and steady word. His first word.

“Dada?”

Nesta froze. She didn’t even know what to say. Should she tell him Cassian wasn’t his father? He probably wouldn’t even understand, just like he didn’t understand where Rhys and Feyre had gone.

But…for all intents and purposes, Cassian was his daddy now. And she was his mama.

So she pressed a kiss to his dark hair and whispered. “He had to leave, baby. He had to go for a little while.”

Nesta hoped and prayed that Cassian would walk back through that door, and yet, she couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to.

That night, instead of Cassian taking up the spot next to her, it was Nyx, who held her hand until they both fell asleep.

[chaudharis]

thinking abt indra rn and like. u know how i was mentioning her and trace having sort of similar ways of Dealing with issues. im thinkin abt that and i wanna elaborate on thwt a little. just indra tho bc she needs more attention all the time.

putting under a cut jic its too long

(also dont rb, bc im jost a little iffy abt it yaknow. its just rambly thoughts)

the way i kinda see the end of av2 when she talks abt not feeling like "indra" anymore i honestly really like the idea that this is like. denial, in a way. and having big denial issues when it comes to their sense of selves is what i mean when i say trace and indra are shaking hands on this. bc they both have identity denialism i think! or at least this is how i read their characters.

but indras is very different in that her denialism comes from like. unlike traces where his comes from smth like "i dont think im x, and i cant be y, so what am i" and ill elaborate on that mess later (maybe), but indras is sort of the opposite, where hers comes from knowing Exactly who she is.

i think those last few lines she has are honestly like. negative development for her. this is worse for her. absolutely. shes already someone who i feel represses so much abt what she (understandably!) hates abt herself. she was a terribly neglectful mother, and shes. literally a billionare. one of the first notes you find talks abt how shes made billions of dollars from making thousands of people jobless during a time of economic crisis. shes done absolutely awful things! shes not a good person!

and so with that, and the way she sort of Presents herself in the game, to me it reads as her being insanely repressive of the way she feels abt herself. this is honestly why i really loved the little skirmish you have with your body/amashilama, because its just. even the SLIGHTEST hint at some form of confrontation. because i really dont think it was just amashilama talking in that scene!! so its like!! her guilt and everything is something she deeply represses!

and its like. so what do you think is gonna happen when you force the worlds best repression woman of the year to confront herself even the slightest. when you force her to see the consequences to her actions (samara is in the afterlife after all.), i can absolutely see her reaction is to just. go even further with it all. receeding back even more.

which is why i think the whole "im not indra, im something else" is negative chara development. it reads to me as her receeding back more, and separating herself from "indra". indra is someone that has hurt so many people, but that isnt Her anymore. shes helping people now! shes gonna get damu his body back! shes saved the world! this universe, even!

and while typically i think it would be fair to be like "im not that person anymore" with that, the thing is to be able to do that she still needs to like. actually develop as a person, which i super dont think she fucking has lol. just gonna gesture to av1 here for no reason in particular. so uhm. i dont think shes actualky done any growing as a person!

and this is why i fucking love her character! like yes!! she gets WORSE, in a way. which i think honestly might be the best way to go for her if you Were going to do a "indra gets better as a person" arc for her. shes just gotta get a little worse before she can get better. and id love to see her improve one day. id love to see the progress she makes! she has the capability to change but that time isnt now and thats ok. she is a character thats fine.

(honestly i should really start playing with this aspect abt her more. what that sort of process could look like, bc i really would love to see it! and u gotta make the content u wanna see in the world yaknow. so one day ill chip away at this!)

anyways! she has some problems and issues. and i love her for it.

thank u for reading btw heres an image of her. a special treat if uve read this. look at her v

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Mr. Komaeda’s Lesson

THE FILTH ARRIVES

Summary: You should really proofread your assignments before submitting them... AKA: Professor Komaeda fucks you over his desk (literally my dream) Word count: 4258 Contains: she/her pronouns, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, professor/student relationships, gentle dom nagito (he’s very gentle i swear) Read on AO3  ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

The soothing smell of camomile lemon tea wafts around the small office. The blinds are half open, casting the orange light of the setting sun across the smooth leaves of a peace lily that resides in a pot hanging in front of the heating unit. The warm air rocks it gently back and forth. The atmosphere in the room is light and pleasant, but it does nothing to ease your nerves. 

“Do you want some?” Professor Komaeda asks as he pours himself a cup of the aforementioned camomile lemon tea. He has a little teapot sitting on his desk, it’s very cute. 

You clear your throat, fidgeting in your seat, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

“Okay, let’s get started then, shall we?” 

You’ve been dreading this meeting for weeks now. Your professor had been very insistent that this wouldn’t be a discussion about the quality of your work, but more about what he could do to help you maintain focus in lectures. There was also a brief mention about your most recent assignment, he said that he wasn’t concerned, but did want to run through a few things with you. 

He was very polite about it, which makes the true nature of your distraction only more reprehensible. 

“So, first I want to start with a simple question. How are you doing?” 

“Uh, fine?”

He nods and takes a sip of his tea, “No problems outside of our classes? You don’t need to answer if you aren’t comfortable.”

“No i- uh. I’m fine outside of classes too.” You fidget again, twisting your hands in your lap, “I’ve been...tired? But that’s my fault, I stay up too late.” 

He hums thoughtfully and rests his chin on the palm of his hand, “Could that be having an affect on your focus? I can see that you have been distracted in our most recent lectures and just want to make sure it isn’t a fault of myself or my material.” He laughs a little to himself, “I know I can be a little boring sometimes.” 

Professor Komaeda is not boring. He’s probably the most engaging lecturer you’ve ever had, passionate about his subject matter and very enthusiastic about class participation. He also wears really tight trousers and has long dexterous fingers that you can't help imagining inside of your-

“I mean, being tired could be the problem?” A bold faced lie. 

“Well in that case there isn’t much more I can suggest than a good night's rest.” He gives you a long look that makes you squirm in your seat, “I only graduated a few years ago myself, I understand the urge to make the most of your day, but you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.” He takes another sip of his tea, a drop misses his mouth and rolls down his chin. He catches it with his thumb, which he then brings up to his lips and sucks. You swallow deeply, tearing your eyes from where his lips are meeting his skin. Your knee starts bouncing. Nerves. 

“Would it help if you sat a little closer to the front of the lecture hall?”

It wouldn’t. Especially not on warm days when he loosens his tie and undoes the first three buttons on his shirt. You spent a whole lecture transfixed on the dip of his collarbones once. Not great for your note taking, “maybe I’ll give that a go next week” you say. Another lie.

“Okay, try that out and let me know if it helps.” He gently sets down his teacup and starts working his white hair up into a bun. His fingers are so delicate as he combs through the strands, pulling his hair up and away from his pale throat, exposing the length of it to your hungry eyes-

A noise escapes from your mouth. Almost a whine, but not quite. Professor Komaeda doesn't say anything, but his intense eyes meet yours for just a moment. You clench your thighs together.

“Are you ready to talk about your assignment now?” He asks, picking the teacup again. It’s decorated with sunflowers, almost criminally cute, “No reason to be nervous. I want to make it clear that this matter hasn't had any affect on your grade, just some advice for next time.”

You nod shakily. Despite all of his reassurances, you are still very nervous. Partially because you wanted a good grade, partially because you had worked on that essay day and night with the intention of impressing him. So stupid. 

He gives you a pleasant smile and rifles through his desk for a moment, pulling out what you quickly recognise as a printed copy of your essay, “Take a look, i want to see if you can figure it out first.”

“Um...okay…” You skip past the title page and into the meat of the essay, reading through all of your points and making sure there weren't any obvious spelling mistakes. There wasn't anything that you could see, “Sorry...um...what page is it on?”

His teacup clinks when he sets it down again, leaning forward on his elbows and resting his chin on his hands. You can feel your heart fluttering in your chest, your palms are getting sweaty, “It’s on the title page actually. I’m surprised you didn't notice it.”

You shoot him a quizzical look and flip back to the first page. Your stomach plummets. 

Titles have never been your thing, summing up an entire essay in just a few words isn’t easy, so you usually use a placeholder right up until you submit it. You remember changing it, you remember triple checking it was changed before you emailed it through. But something must have gone wrong because in big bold capital letters, the title of you assignment reads: 

ESSAY SO GOOD PROFESSOR KOMAEDA WILL FUCK ME OVER HIS DESK 

Your hands are shaking, the edges of the paper crinkling under your tight grip. You are going to fail...you are going to be expelled...you are going to-

“Ah. I see you’ve realised your mistake, hm?”

Your head shoots up, forgetting for a moment that he is still sitting across from you. 

“Professor...I-I’m...obviously I’m…” you can’t get out a goddamn sentence, your mouth has all dried up, “I don’t even...I can’t…”

You are taken aback, when Professor Komaeda giggles. It’s a light little sound, he covers his mouth with a hand, “You are very bold, aren’t you?” 

“I….” 

“No need to worry, I’m not reporting this to the dean or anything like that. I see no reason to expel you over a silly little mistake like this one.”

“You...You dont want me to drop you class?”

He laughs again, you shrink under the intensity of his green eyes, “I’m not going to make you, no. If the situation isn’t going to make it even harder for you to focus during lectures, you can still come to class. I won't stop you, it is your choice.”

He is being remarkably cavalier about all of this, it’s almost unsettling, but you don't want to drop his class so you can't help being grateful, “Thank you so much, I...I promise i won't do this again.”

Professor Komaeda hums aloud, eyes half lidded as he looks at you from across the desk, “Won’t do what again?” he asks, though honestly its more of a purr, “Won’t think about me fucking you, or wont make the mistake of writing it down?”

Hearing the word fuck drop from that perfect mouth of his sends you into overdrive. Your thighs are clamped so tight together that your legs are shaking, you can feel yourself breathing hard, “I...uh...I....” you swallow, “I won't do...either?”

“There's no need to lie to me.” He breathes, standing up from his chair and rounding the desk. You can feel yourself quivering in his shadow, he towers over you. Your breath catches in your throat when one of his hands makes contact with your chin, slowly lifting your head up until you meet his eyes. His expression is positively hungry, “I want to make something very clear. This is your chance to leave, if you do we will never speak of this again. If you don’t, well…”

All you can do is stare at him, mouth going dry with realisation. 

“Your essay was very good, by the way.” He leans down until his nose is almost pressed against yours, you can smell the tea on his breath. You can feel the warmth of his skin, you can count his eyelashes, “Good enough that i’ll fuck you over my desk if you still want me to.”

In a moment of hungry lucidity, you grab him by the tie and tug his lips down to yours. Colliding in a positively ferocious kiss. You feel him laugh against your mouth before he slips his tongue in between your lips and traces your upper row of teeth, his tongue is wet and warm, your thighs are rubbing together as you grow desperate for any sort of friction. Professor Komaeda must be in a similar state, because he grabs you by the waist and tugs you up to your feet. Pressed firmly against him like this, you can feel the evidence of his arousal through his slacks, a moan escapes you when you feel his hips buck. 

He laughs again, pulling away from your mouth to press a hot kiss to the side of your throat. You feel his long fingers toying with the hemline of your skirt, slowly slipping up underneath it, “These pretty little things…” he whispers, tugging on the top of your thigh high stocking and releasing it with a snap, “do you wear them for me?”

There’s no point lying anymore. You can’t stop shaking, “I...yes…”

You feel him moan against your skin, sinking his teeth into the join between your neck and shoulder, “Did you really think I wouldn’t take notice? Of the way you undress me with your eyes in class, of these tiny little skirts you started wearing?” He grabs a handful of your ass and you squeal, “you’re so gorgeous. You could have anyone in that class if you wanted, but here you are with me-“ he grinds up against you, cock warm and hard through his slacks, “-I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this.”

His voice is so soft and gentle, even while he’s palming your ass and grinding his hips against yours, he still talks like he’s giving a lecture on historical literature. It’s hot, how easily he is able to maintain his composure while you are little more than a quivering mess beneath him, but still...you want to see him come undone.

You hear more than feel your knees colliding with the wooden floorboards. Professor Komaeda is unable to give little more than a surprised look before you have his slacks and boxers shoved halfway down his thighs and his cock in your mouth. He lets out a shocked little moan, burying his long fingers into your hair as his hips stutter forward. Now that was the reaction you wanted. 

“Oh...ohhhh-“ he whines, slowly moving himself in and out of your mouth as you tease his head with your tongue, “ahh...your mouth feels so good, angel.” 

You were not expecting him to call you angel. It’s like a bolt of lightning to your cunt, your hands jump up the dig deep into the meat of his thighs as you moan downright salaciously around his cock. 

“I can feel you moaning.” He whispers, “I can’t believe how much you’re enjoying this” you look up at him through your lashes and see his cheeks are red, his perfect lips are swollen from his biting them incessantly. You moan again just from the sight of him, he hisses and his hips cant forward deeper into your mouth, “wow. You...You really like doing this don’t you? Wrapping your perfect soft lips around my filthy cock?” 

Filthy? That makes your eyebrows jump. You could always tell that your professor had some sort of inferiority complex, but you didn't realise it was...this intense.

“S’pretty.” You managed to slur around him, “Tastes good.”

He laughs again, it explodes from his mouth and shakes his shoulders. Unbridled, almost wild. He grins down at you, “I’m sure it doesn’t taste as good at you.” He purrs, tucking your hair behind your ear, “get up on the desk.”

Well, you weren’t going to say no to that. You give his cock one last long lick before standing back up from the floor, just before you hoist yourself up on the table, Professor Komaeda grabs you by the wrist, “Panties off, please.”

You feel yourself turn crimson, but dutifully shimmy out of your panties and let them drop to the floor. He smiles at you, hands curling around your waist as he leans into your ear, “that’s my girl.” He whispers, and lifts you up onto his desk. His hands are cold on the bare skin of your thighs peeking out from the top of your stockings, your stomach twists and curls as he slowly edges your legs open, and drops to his knees between them.

“Oh my god…” you squeak, he’s staring up at you with a look that is downright sinful and he doesn’t break eye contact, even when one of those perfect fingers slips inside you, “agh!” 

He chuckles warmly, gently thrusting his finger in and out of you, “you’re so wet, angel...I can’t imagine why someone like me is making you so aroused, but I’m not complaining.” 

His finger curls inside of you, and your hips jolt, “Mmph! Pro-Professor I-“ 

He smiles saccharinely as a second finger pushes its way inside you, “Nagito.” He corrects, pressing a hot kiss to the inside of your thigh, “We’re well beyond the need for formality. Don’t you think?” You cover your mouth to muffle a squeal as he adds a third finger. Your knees are wobbling and you can barely breathe, he’s just sitting between your legs and grinning at you, “Now let’s see if you taste as good as i imagine, hm?”

He pulls your clit in between his lips and sucks. You have to bite down on your hand to keep yourself from screaming, “F-Fuck...Nagito...I--hng!” 

“It is after hours, you know.” He whispers, you can feel his breath on your cunt and you shiver, “There’s no reason for you to restrain yourself.” He licks your clit again and moans, “Haa...It may be selfish of me, but i want to hear you. If you’ll let me.”

“Oh god-” You hiss out when his tongue starts circling around you, “-keep doing that, and you’ll hear me alright.”

Nagito giggles and peers up at you, “Then I suppose I'll get back to work.” He hoists your thighs over his shoulders, and starts eating you out in earnest. You lean back on your elbows, and watch his soft white hair bob between your thighs as his tongue works it’s magic, he alternates between running the flat of his tongue up the length of you and focussing directly on your clit. Your toes are curling, mouth wide open with a constant stream of moans and whimpers that you have no hope of stopping. It feels so good, you had dreamt about this alone at night in your bed and even in those fantasies it hadn't felt this good. 

His fingers slip out of you, but before you even have a chance to complain, they are replaced with his tongue. You moan so loudly that it rumbles through your chest, your hips rise up to meet his mouth and his hands curl around the soft flesh of your thighs, tugging you even closer. He groans. The wet muscle is slowly thrusting in and out of you when he presses down firm on your clit with his thumb, “I--mmph...Nagito m’gonna cum…” your hips are grinding relentlessly up against his face and you can feel your hair sticking to your forehead with sweat. 

“Cum for me, angel.” He whispers, thumb rubbing your clit in brutal circles, “I want to feel you squeezing around my tongue.” 

You throw your head back in a howl as his tongue slips back inside, the desk rattling with the force of your quivering hips. You can hear the slick sounds his mouth is making against your cunt, the way he is panting and moaning just from the taste of you. The tightness in your stomach grows unbearable, then he curls his tongue upward, and it snaps. You see whiteness behind your eyes, thighs shaking with the intensity of it. You can feel the vibration of Nagito’s moan inside of you and his fingers dig tight into the meat of your thighs. He’s enjoying your orgasm almost as much as you are. 

When he finally pulls away from you, the lower half of his face is glistening with your wetness. He gives you a pleased smile, eyes half lidded as he brings his wet fingers up to his mouth and licks them clean, “I knew you would taste good.” He whispers, wiping the mouth with the back of his hand, “Think you can cum again, angel?”

Just watching him suck on his fingers is enough to get you going again, “Yeah, I definitely can.”

He laughs and stands up from the floor. His cock is flushed red and dripping, you suddenly realise he hadn't touched it that whole time, he must be painfully hard at this point. You lick your lips, you can't help it. He follows your line of sight and smiles, “Be a good girl and bend over the desk for me, please.” 

You slide down off the desk, ready to follow his orders but quickly stop yourself, “Oh. One second.”

“Hm?”

You grab the teapot from the desk and quickly rest it on the windowsill, “Sorry. That was a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Ah, yes. You’re right.” His hand slips up to your cheek, thumb resting on your lips. He smiles when you pull it into your mouth and suck, “I’ll have to thank you for saving my carpet. Unless you see any other hazards, i would still like to fuck you.”

That word again. It sounds doubly filthy when he says it, the way his lips mold around it is downright sinful. A shaky moan drops from your mouth as you turn around and do as he asks, your breasts are squished up against the sturdy wood, and the desk is a little too tall for you, your feet are dangling just above the floor. You’re shaking with anticpation, and it grows even worse when you feel the warmth of Nagito’s palm caressing your ass, “For my own peace of mind…” he whispers, his other hand running a finger up the length of your sex, “When do you graduate?”

You laugh, “It’s a little late for that, isn't it, Professor?” you feel his hand still on your ass and you clear your throat, “Uh, this is my last semester. A few months.”

He sighs pleasantly, “Ah, that’s good. This has been very fun, though i'm not sure we should do it again.” You feel the head of his cock kiss your entrance and hiss through your teeth, “At least...not for a few months.” You can hear the smirk on his face.

“I’ve waited this long.” You say, grinding backwards into his cock, “I can wait again.”

He leans down until his mouth is right beside your ear, “Good girl.” He whispers, and finally thrusts inside of you. It feels so good, he fills you so well. Your cheek is pressed firmly against the hard wood of the desk and a pathetic little mewl escapes your mouth at the feeling. You cunt already dripping from your last orgasm, you take him so easily, so smoothly. It feels like he is meant to be inside you. 

You feel a hand on your lower back, pushing you further down onto the desk and Nagito hisses through his teeth. Pumping slowly and deeply inside of you, like he is savoring it, “You’re doing so well, angel. I--fuck...You’re so warm.” his breathing is laboured, the rhythmic sound of his hips hitting your ass is echoing around the room, “I still can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. I must be the luckiest man alive.” 

“Please...more!” you whine, trying to force him deeper inside of you with the movement of your hips. 

Nagito lets out a strangled moan and starts pounding faster, one of his hands slipping down between your legs to circle your clit, you cry out at the extra stimulation, toes curling inside of your shoes. The desk is shaking with the force of his thrusts now, there's a cute little statuette of a frog that falls down to the carpet with a clatter, but he doesn't stop. 

“You feel so good, darling...I--I don't think i can-” a groan rips through him and you can feel his thrusts growing sloppier, “-you’re so good for...so perfect...I can't hold--ah ahh” he swallows, “Please, angel, i want to feel you cum again.”

You’re close, mouth raw from panting and moaning, legs going numb from behind suspended in the air. Then, the finger on your clit presses down firm and his cock grinds up against your g-spot. That is all you need, you come unraveling under him, the walls of your cunt clenching impossibly tight around him.

“Ah, yes!” He cries, grabbing your hips and pounding you desperately, relishing in the feeling of your hot, tight cunt. Milking him dry, “Good, girl. So good for me.” Then, he cums, you feel his cock throb deep inside of you as his hips stutter and slow. 

It is only now that you are hit with the realisation. You just fucked Professor Komaeda. Holy hell.

All you can do is lay there while he slowly pulls himself out of you. Wincing a little at the wierd feeling of emptyness. You manage to roll yourself over, laying flat on your back with your legs still dangling from the desk. Nagito laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, “Are you alright?”

You laugh weakly, “We’re going to get in so much trouble.”

“Not if no one finds out.” He tucks some of your hair behinf your ear, “Don’t worry about it, I’m very lucky with this sort of thing.”

“I just dont want you to get in trouble.”

He giggles, “That’s very kind of you, but this was as much my choice as it was yours.” he runs his fingers down your cheek and gives you a gentle kiss on your lips, “I meant what i said, about meeting up again.”

You manage to pull yourself up until you are sitting upright, you give him a sleepy smile, “Yeah, me too. I like you a lot.”

“How very sweet of you to say, angel.” He presses his forehead to yours and tangles your fingers together, “Let’s get you cleaned up now, hm? Can’t have you walking home like that”

To be honest, you aren’t sure you can walk at all.

____________________________

A few months later, you are sitting in the local cafe and applying for some jobs on your laptop. You did well on your final assessments and graduated with flying colours. It’s only a few more days before you need to officially move out of the dorms, and finding a new apartment (along with a job to pay for it) has not been easy so far. 

You huff and push your hair back from your face. Your phone pings, and you ignore it. It’s been pinging for the past few minutes and you are not in the mood to check it. The job you are currently applying for made you retype all of the information in your resume even though you just uploaded it, and you are not happy. 

The phone pings again and you groan, grabbing it and flipping it over. It looks like it’s just the group chat, as loud as always. As you go to close the message notifications though, you see one from about ten minutes ago that isn't from your group chat. Your heart is racing. 

Hello!

I still have your number from when you asked for an assignment extension at the beginning of last semester. I hope you don't mind me using it. It’s been a few months, I'd like to see you again, if you wouldn't mind.

-Nagito

Oh shit. Your heart is beating a rapid tattoo in your chest. You had been so caught up in the job hunt and apartment hunt that you had all but forgotten about...this. You swallow and manage to force your shaky hands to type.

Oh hey!

It’s nice to hear from you. I’m free this weekend if you want to meet up, I still live in the dorms though, so it’ll have to be your place.

It's only about a minute before you get a reply.

Lol! I was thinking we could start with coffee, but I'm not going to lie and say i wasn’t hoping it would end up in my bedroom. 

This weekend works for me. I can pick you up around 11?

You smile at your phone, cheeks turning crimson.

Sounds good. I’ll see you then.

You quickly update his contact details in your phone from Professor Komaeda, to Nagito <3.