#if you want me to add warning please don't hesitate to tell me and I'll add them

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part one)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone.

Taglist: @marshmallowinamess

A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, I'm back after a nerve-wracking week of school. This is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. God I fucking hate school. I wrote all of this in a cold room, a heat pad on me (because period cramps) and at 3am so any mistakes will be edited out as soon as I'm aware of it.

This is divided into a multiple part thing (I think 2-3?) because God knows I can't fit them all in one post because of the limited amount of gifs and photos. I'll add more to these in the future, some are longer than others because I can't think. Also because I can't write them all at once, that's a lot to write okay 😭

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

John Price

ꕥ (OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILEEE) (He's such a quokka)

ꕥ Price who literally is such a father figure, doesn't matter whether the relationship between you two is romantic or platonic. He often takes the dominant caring role.

ꕥ Doesn't smoke around you, doesn't matter if you insist he doesn't. He still won't and definitely will criticize you if you try or do smoke because he doesn't want you do end up like him.

ꕥ If there's a bit of an age gap between you, I'd say he's hesitant. Definitely afraid of what the rest of the task force thinks (He can't help it, they're basically his boys)

ꕥ John Price who wants to settle down with you, maybe have kids if you want but just a white picket fence life with you without the chaos that is war and his job.

ꕥ He only ever let's you have his hat, only when he gives it to you though. Most of the time it would be while you're out, he'd put it on your head from his. (Cowboy hat rule? I heard that in more respectful terms rather than sexual, it respectfully means that you are theirs)

ꕥ John Price who rests his chin at the top of your head no matter how much he needs to crouch down whenever hugging you from behind. Love doing it whenever you're busy doing something too. (Props for the effort because you cannot tell me he doesn't have back, neck and knee pains)

ꕥ Is constantly worried if you share the same line of work, like at first it was nothing but a tiny crush and slowly he finds himself caring about your well-being more and more over time.

ꕥ Can't help but think he's an acts of service type of guy, reaching up for things you need or better yet lifting you up so you can reach them and loves opening things for you like bottles or anything canned. (Girlies who get their nails done or wear press ons know this struggle ( I'm a press on girly)

ꕥ The kind of man who would turn on some oldies music and slow dance with you in the living room, your footsteps and breathing being the only other sounds as you smile at each other, foreheads against the other's.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

ꕥ Ghost who is such Doberman/Black cat boyfriend. Like have you seen this man? He's so tall and intimidating, one distasteful look from him and if it was physically possible that person would drop dead.

ꕥ Ghost whose a chubby chaser through and through, he just looks for something different from what he's used to.

ꕥ Is definitely a tits kinda guy, doesn't matter how big or how small they are. He'll definitely play with them in some way during doing the you know what.

ꕥ Feels like you can take him and his size better because of your plush body. Has a size kink and likes seeing it bulge a bit when he's inside you.

ꕥ You're just so soft and warm, he wants something away from what he usually feels doing his job. Not really that touchy but he gets quite clingy within closed doors.

ꕥ Likes to squeeze your thighs, his grip on them would not falter. Doesn't matter whether it's in a sexual or domestic way.

ꕥ Thinks you deserve better than what he can offer and needs constant reassurance, never says it out loud but you pick up on what he feels. (please be patient with him)

ꕥ More often than not, he thinks you're quite fragile. Even if you can protect yourself, one of his ways of showing you he loves you is through protecting you. Hence the Doberman boyfriend scenario.

ꕥ Doesn't like PDA but knows when it's necessary, him placing his arm around your shoulder is enough to keep perverts in their places. If that rando is really that bold then they'll most likely end up with a few broken bones depending on how pissed Simon is.

ꕥ If you work alongside him, he'd constantly worry about your well-being but at the same time is conflicted because he's confident that he can protect you.

ꕥ Only you and the TF141 can call him Simon, he still feels uneasy when he gets called that but when it's you saying it, it doesn't sound as daunting to him. Still dislikes in in certain tones of voice because his name reminds him of his past.

ꕥ You've seen his face, it took a long time but after that he trusted you enough to show him. The fact that you didn't find his face revolting and even kissed his scars while cupping his face was enough for him to want to marry you.

ꕥ Isn't fully insecure about his face but has his moments. (You know like the voice line where soap asks him to take off his mask and asked him if he was ugly and Ghost said "Negative")

ꕥ Takes a little while to get him to open up and little things like letting you hold him takes him a bit of time to get used to because it makes him feel vulnerable.

ꕥ God forbid something were to happen to you and he couldn't do anything to stop it, Simon would lose his fucking mind.

John "Soap" MacTavish

ꕥ Soap is a Golden Retriever boyfriend through and through. He's energetic, loyal and really affectionate.

ꕥ He's a lighthearted flirt at first because he doesn't wanna scare you off but damn does he gradually get bolder over time.

ꕥ Very hands on, touchy, and could be clingy at times unless you don't consent him, secretly always finding new ways to touch you.

ꕥ A sucker for cheek kisses, lips are his favorite but he can't help but break out a wide grin whenever you kiss his cheek. Can't help but feel kinda manly whenever you do.

ꕥ Adores making you laugh, no matter how stupid your sense of humor is he will absolutely say that joke if it gets a laugh out of you. Would be concerned if you had a dark sense of humor but will eventually get used to it. To describe it, hearing you laugh makes his heart feel full like in a content domestic way.

ꕥ Also, see the gif? You cannot tell me that he doesn't look at you that way because he absolutely would.

ꕥ Loves your weight against his body to the pint he's begging you to lay on him. You, him in the bed while he's shirtless with grey sweatpants on and you in your night clothes sharing each other's warmth with your head on his broad chest.

ꕥ Shows you silly and cute pet videos, especially the cat ones:

"[Name], look at this one!"

"Soap, we're not adopting a pet. Not right now at least"

ꕥ He was upset and gave you puppy eyes the whole time because the only time he had pet was when he was child, it was a hamster which was killed because it got sucked into the vacuum by his older sister.

ꕥ You're the only one allowed to tough his hair, he's very proud of his mohawk and will let you style it. Won't wear it out if you did something silly to it though.

ꕥ Soap who loves showing you off to everyone, loves light PDA but doesn't wanna potential put a target on your back.

ꕥ He definitely is the guy you want to take home to your family and friends (or found family <3), he's funny and easy to get along with. Very flirty with you but he'll straighten out because he's terrified on making a bad impression.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

ꕥ (HE'S SO FREAKING UNDERRATED WITHIN THIS FANDOM)

ꕥ He gives Labrador boyfriend vibes, you can't help but want to take care of him.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to do a double take when he first saw you, he turned to Soap with that "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" look in a good way.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to ask you out multiple times before you said yes thinking he's only doing it for a bet or a cruel joke.

ꕥ Constant reassurance from him because he doesn't want you to feel insecure about your looks because to him you are literally an angel.

ꕥ Loves to chill with you, cuddling and just relaxing. Maybe scrolling on TikTok occasionally and show you the funny ones he chuckled at.

ꕥ He has a sixth sense whenever you crave something, say you want chocolate or drink of some sort then he'd definitely being home whatever it is you we're craving without having to ask you.

ꕥ Kyle who has your Starbucks order memorized because he likes being the one to order things for you. Will playfully argue with you on who'll pay this time. (Don't even try anymore, he always wins anyway)

ꕥ Puts his hat on your head mostly when you're out, has done it the first time because it was hot out and the sun was in your eyes. He's picked it up from Price and once you smiled at him through the shade of his cap, he has not stopped doing it.

ꕥ Definitely a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of guy when it comes to love languages. Sometimes whenever he'd give you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile, you can't help but laugh a little.

ꕥ He's very thoughtful, so much so that he prides himself in knowing you better than anyone. Everytime you two go out to eat, when he gets something and know that you'll want to taste it (he knows damn well whether you'll like it or not when he tastes it) he'll bring it upon himself to order you one before you even say you want some.

ꕥ Soft snores when he sleeps, it's cute but you know damn well he's tired. Also I think he's very cuddly, like he just likes reminding himself that he's not alone and that his bed is warm because you're in it. Therefore at minimum always has an arm around you in bed.

ꕥ Dances in the rain with you and loves it when you pull him gently on his arm while your hands are intertwined. Takes note of how the the raindrops sometimes fall on your lashes while you look up at him smiling.

ꕥ Kyle Garrick who wants nothing more in the world to see you happy and smiling. His "this is the woman I'm going to marry" moment was when you baked his favorite cake for his birthday despite it being so hard, you nailed it perfectly. (Whether it's out of luck or skill is up to you)

Alejandro Vargas

ꕥ (idk how to write for this angry Mexican man but I'll try my best, love him and his megamind hairline though <3)

ꕥ Alejandro is definitely a flirt, a very bold on at that. He's quite forward when it comes to liking someone so yeah.

ꕥ He lives for it when you boss him around. That being said, he isn't picky about body type or any of the sort.

ꕥ Will teach you Spanish if you don't know any, definitely prioritizes the curse words and laughs whenever you jokingly call him pendejo.

ꕥ Wouldn't mind you teaching him your own culture and mother tongue. Bonus points if it's similar to his.

ꕥ Has Spanish nicknames for you because I imagine his own culture is important to him.

ꕥ Would hate it if you had the same line of work but will never take it out on you, it's just that it's so dangerous given the people he's involved with. (It's definitely Valeria)

ꕥ Speaking of El Sinombre, I don't think they had anything romantic going on. It's mainly platonic and the "betrayal" sucked on Alejandro's side. They definitely had some rivalry and the tension was through the roof. (Mainly because I headcanon Valeria as Lesbian)

ꕥ Can be so romantic when he tries, you can't tell me this mf ain't a smooth talker because he definitely is. Can be very blunt like in a forward way with his affection too.

ꕥ Likes kissing your wrist and feeling your pulse against his lips because it reminds him you're alive. (The amount of angst this scenario carries would be something I'm up for to write)

ꕥ Is sent on a fit of rage when something happens to you, say you got kidnapped then this man would tears off the walls of every building if he had to.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

ꕥ (ANOTHER UNDERATED CHARACTER)

ꕥ Another Golden Retriever boyfriend. This man is just loving and dotting, very husband material.

ꕥ Loves chubby women, has a soft spot for them and just likes holding them.

ꕥ He's definitely used to the insecurity that comes with the body, also doesn't get why such beauty standards are even in place. Has and would fuck the insecure out of you again if he had to. (It's in a very gentle and loving manner)

ꕥ If you hold him in your arms, he'd be absolutely living for it. He already has had a long day and being honest he hasn't had many lovers that went far so having you care in this way about him would have him wrapped around your finger.

ꕥ Worships the ground you walk on. That's it.

ꕥ Would take everything to heart whenever you teach him or mention something within your culture if you aren't of Spanish origins like he is. He just loves you so much that it makes him happy knowing more about you.

ꕥ Would adore slow dancing with you, brings him back to reality where he realizes that he has you and that you're there.

ꕥ Terrified that one day you'll end up leaving him so reassurance would be much appreciated by him.

ꕥ Definitely a sucker for receiving forehead kisses, as for giving he likes to kiss the back of your hand.

ꕥ If ever danger presents itself to you too closely, he would have a heart attack like full on crying but not in public though.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

so i have a VERY BAD FEVER AND I WANT CRYO LADIES USING THEIR VISION TO COOL OF sick! S/O

(you can also add any other charafter of your liking ❤️❤️)

(Genshin Impact) Eula, Rosaria, Ayaka, Ganyu, and Shenhe using their vision on a sick S/O

This is completely unrelated to the ask, but while writing this I've been listening to the Winter Soldier theme from Captain America. And for such a lovely ask it is very strange writing to one of the hardest themes I've ever heard in my life.

Eula huffs and puffs when her S/O gets sick, but absolutely does not hesitate to begin applying Cryo therapy.

As long as it wasn't contagious anyway.

With one hand gently resting against their forehead as she sits next to them in bed, Eula can't help but brush her fingers across their hair while doing so.

Her expression is gentle, until the moment S/O speaks up.

(Eula) "Am I enjoying this? Of course not, my plans must be halted because you had the audacity to fall ill. Something I will not forget easily, of course. I could always freeze you right here and now."

Yet, her hand is resting on S/O's face still, fingers rubbing down to their cheek as if they were made of glass.

Rosaria honestly didn't think of using her Cryo vision to bring down S/O's fever.

She really only used it for work, and S/O sure as hell wasn't on her list for tonight of people to use it on.

But, at their insistence, she lets her hand cool them down, being very careful to use it sparingly.

(Rosaria) "If it gets too cold, let me know, I guess. Don't say I didn't warn you, though."

Rosaria tries to be as gentle as she can, and has to remove her gloves to avoid poking S/O in the eyes.

Her own hand feeling S/O so tenderly gets her a little flustered, the only way S/O can tell was by her actively avoiding meeting their eyes.

Ayaka felt like a stroke of genius hit her when she brought S/O's high temperature down.

With a smile, Ayaka eagerly sits down with S/O in order to help.

(Ayaka) "Please, rest easy S/O. Would you like anything to eat while I'm here?"

She could just hire some help or get Thoma to help S/O, but part of her quite enjoyed being the one to care for S/O.

It was unfortunate they were sick, but she sure wasn't going to complain about spending time with S/O, especially when she could actively help them.

The entire time she's with them, Ayaka's smile never really goes away.

Ganyu has done the same to herself whenever she felt under the weather, though without too much effect since she was used to the cold.

But she breathed a massive sigh on relief when it had a visible effect on S/O's fever.

(Ganyu) "Ah, good! It's working! The medicine should be working soon, but in the meantime!-"

She brings a little bit of her paperwork to get through as she sits next to S/O, multi-tasking to help them recover.

Even if her S/O insists that they don't have to worry, she'll still take care of them anyway.

Work was important, but the love of her life was even moreso.

Shenhe, on top of retrieving some medicinal herbs and creating a brew concocted by her master, helps S/O's fever with her Vision.

...By grabbing onto their forehead with her entire hand, looking like she was about to crush their head instead of heal.

(Shenhe) "Are you comfortable S/O? Please relax and I'll bring down your temperature."

Careful with both her strength and Vision, she used them in moderation in order to help, much to S/O's terror when half their vision was blotted out by her palm.

The entire time Shenhe is focused on making sure S/O recovers well, trying her best to make sure they were comfortable.

Was it entirely comfortable? Truthfully, no. It was a little awkward.

But damned if S/O wasn't grateful that Shenhe was trying.

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐈 𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - 𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 [𝐛𝐚𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞]

notes: part one? will probably make a very spicy part two- hehe. ;) if you know, you know. also- i imagine y/n as english here, but that's literally just me lol. there's no real hint or anything saying that she is or isn't. :D also also, i want raphael to choke me like he hates me but he loves me. :P

warnings: mature language/swearing,

tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @rheawritesforfun @s-s-ironnie @post-apocalyptic-daydream @mysticboombox @drowninghell @lec743 @raphielover  @raphslovemuffin80 @squirrelfurs @bibiz82 @pheradream-15 @kikithedreamerwriter @m1dnyt3-w0lf @scholastic-dragon @moonsua1 [if i've forgotten anyone i'm so sorry please comment or dm me and let me know and i'll add you right away so i don't forget in the future!]

(if you would like to be tagged in my future tmnt x reader related work, feel free to let me know and i'll happily add you!)

i love you all sm! i'm sending all the virtual hugs and well wishes to you!! <33

---

She didn't understand what she had done. From the moment she met him, Raphael acted as though he hated her. Y/n was for at a loss. No matter what she did or said, there was always this wall between them. After a while of trying to befriend him, she eventually gave up. If he did not want to be friends, then so be it. She would spend her time with his brothers.

But that only seemed to make matters worse.

It was terribly confusing and Y/n didn't know if she could take much more of it.

She had tried so hard to please him. And despite all her efforts he pushed her away. Treated her as if she was nothing. So she turned to her actual friends, and that only seemed to anger him more. Did he not want her around at all? Did he not trust her with his family?

The thing that was the most frustrating, was the fact that no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't get rid of her love for him.

---

It wasn't as if he hated her. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Raphael had a hard time expressing his feelings. He had an even harder time when he believed that those feelings weren't reciprocated.

Y/n was beautiful. She was as sweet as honey with warm skin as soft as silk. Her eyes shone when she laughed. She always wore this lip gloss that made her lips the perfect shade of pink. And she smelled amazing. Like vanilla and cedar. A warm and comforting scent.

There was no way she liked him as much as he liked her. Raphael was so certain of this. So he did the only logical thing he could think of.

He pushed her away.

Because he knew he would never be able to love her. And being in the same room as her, knowing she would never be his, was excruciating.

The only thing he could think of doing was keeping his distance. Which was hard when she was always approaching him. So he avoided her like the plague.

That didn't mean that he didn't get jealous.

---

How could he act like he knew her? He didn't know her at all! Raphael was like a stranger to her! The only things she's learned of him was from his brothers. And even if they had been telling him about her, it wasn't the same. Her gaze narrowed at him. "I'm sorry? Can you repeat that please, because I don't think I heard you right."

Raphael gazed at Y/n from across the room. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest, biceps bulging. (she would have been drooling if he wasn't such an ass-) He moved his toothpick to the other side of his mouth with his tongue. Head tilting ever so slightly as he studied her.

"I said, that your actions don't surprise me. Figures someone as pristine and conceded as you would do somethin' like that." He didn't skip a beat. Didn't hesitate with his comment. Even if it was uncalled for.

Y/n blinked. It was almost worse hearing it for a second time. It made her angrier, at least. She was absolutely gobsmacked. Surprised he had the balls to make such an assumption and voice it so simply.

Raphael pushed himself off of the wall and stalked towards her. "Cat got your tongue, princess?" His lips twisted up into a smirk as he loomed over her. Staring down at her with his eyes made of gold.

Leonardo, who she had been talking to moments before- opened his mouth to intervene, but Y/n cut him off before he got the chance.

"You have no right to make any sort of assumptions about me."

Raph hummed, "Ain't assumptions if they're true."

Y/ns gaze hardened, her hands balling at her sides. "You clearly don't know me at all."

"I think I know ya well enough."

"And I think you're an ass!" She snapped, face red with anger. "If you have any other false assertions about me, I'd rather you kept your mouth shut!"

"And I'd rather you not be here at all!" He growled in return. Golden gaze burning down upon her like fire. "You're always around! Do ya not have anywhere else to be!? Any other friends besides us!?"

"You aren't my friend!" Y/n's eyes stung with tears, and she did her best to hold herself together.

"Thank fuck for that!"

"Raph, enough!" Leo seperated the two by physically putting himself between them. His ocean eyes were glued to his brother. "Take a walk." He demanded, nodding in the direction of one of the sewer tunnels.

Raphael's veins burned. He hated the sight of Leo coming to the rescue. Because of fucking course he did. It was always the wise and powerful Leonardo guiding them through their problems. He would have fought more. Pushed back harder. Let his anger consume him. But his gaze caught the sight of tears trickling down Y/n's face. Like stars falling from the sky. His heart ached and squeezed. He wanted to drop to the floor and beg for her forgiveness. Kiss her feet and worship the ground she walked on.

Y/n was a moon goddess. Made of pure starlight.

And Raphael was a brutish soldier, stuck on Earth while he watched her dance with the stars.

It was better if she hated him. It made things easier that way, he reminded himself.

Raphael didn't say anything else. He simply turned around and walked away. Afraid that if he stayed a second longer, he'd do one of two things.

Beg for the goddess' forgiveness.

Or break her.

---

Leonardo let out a heavy sigh before turning to face the h/c haired girl. "Are you okay?" He asked, planting his large hands atop her shoulders. They covered them entirely, showing just how much bigger they all were than her.

Y/n nodded, reaching up to wipe at her eyes quickly. It felt like Raphael had attacked her out of nowhere. It wasn't like she was doing anything besides talking to Leo. (Okay, maybe she had been flirting with him a little bit, but could you really blame her? Have you seen the guy, he's fine as hell-) It felt unwarranted. She didn't feel like she deserved his hate, but no matter what she did, he always seemed hostile towards her.

Leo didn't look convinced. "You sure?"

Y/n let out a quiet sigh. "Yeah.. Is it okay if I just go and finish my book in your room?" She reached towards the couch and grabbed it, clutching it to her chest.

"Of course. No one will disturb you there."

She forced a small smile. "Great. Thanks, Leo."

"Anytime, Y/n."

Leonardo watched as she padded away in the direction of his bedroom. Lips pressed into a thin line. He turned and moved in the direction Raphael went in. He wasn't surprised to find him in the dojo, absolutely wrecking the punching bag.

"Raph."

Said male glanced in his direction for a split second, grunting in acknowledgment.

"What the hell was that?" Leo gestured behind him, blue eyes hardening into a stern glare.

Raphael clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Nothin'. Just leave it alone, Leo." He continued to slam his fists upon the bag, watching it jolt and sway with each lethal hit.

"Y/n doesn't deserve the shit you give her. If you gave her a chance, maybe you would see that. She's a nice girl, she's our friend. You need to give her an apology."

Normally, Raphael would have fought with Leo. Arguing with him to the point where their verbal hits would turn into physical ones. But his motions stilled at this. He knew Leo was right, as much as he didn't want to admit it. He hated seeing Y/n look at him like that. With wide teary eyes and a wobbling lip. Staring at him like the ferocious monster he was.

Before either of them could say anything else, Mikey popped his head in the room. "Hey guys, dinner's ready!"

Leo nodded and turned back to Raph. "Go tell Y/n dinner's ready. You can apologize whilst you're at it." He didn't leave room for argument as he left the dojo. 

Leaving Raphael looming next to the punching bag. He lifted his arm and hit it once more. That was the final blow, the bag snapped off the chain and smashed against the ground. It's contents pouring out.

He'd have to try and fix it later.

---

Y/n sat on Leonardo's bed. Back pressed against the wall and chin propped up on her palm. One of her favourite books sat open on her lap and she read it contentedly. She did her best not to think about Raphael and his actions and words. How he was so distant and vile towards her. She had done nothing but be kind to him. To try and have a decent relationship with him. But he refused to have even a decent relationship with her. It was beyond frustrating. It made her want to rip her hair out. 

She let out a long slow sigh, tilting her head back till it hit the wall and she was looking up at the ceiling. Her mind was a mess, and while she had told Mikey she would stay for dinner earlier, now she was regretting her choice. She contemplated trying to sneak out. But that was near impossible when the lair was full of trained ninjas. Y/n couldn't sneak past them no matter how hard she tried. 

There was a rap of knuckles on the door. She assumed it was Leo, or perhaps Donnie. Mikey would just barge in, and she highly doubted she'd see Raph for a good long while yet. 

She pushed herself up and went towards the door. Yanking it open, but whatever she was about to say died on her tongue. Lips parted and throat dry. She couldn't say anything as she gazed at the mutant in front of her.  Y/n stepped back from Raphael, studying him with an intense gaze silently. Being unable to find any words to speak. 

Raph cleared his throat. "Leo sent me to get you for dinner."

Y/n dropped her gaze with a heavy sigh and turned away from him, shaking her head in disappointment. She was hoping for an apology, or something along those lines. She wanted him so bad but it felt like he was miles away. 

"Y/n?" Raph stepped further into the room, looking at her in confusion. "Are you not hungry?"

"I do not want any dinner!" Y/n spat angrily, running a hand through her hair in agitation.

Raph looked taken aback by her outburst. But he stayed silent, allowing her to take in a couple deep breaths and try to calm herself down. He understood anger better than most. And Y/n had every right to be angry with him. 

Finally, she turned to him. "I have spent so much time wanting to be alone with you. Wanting to talk to you! Wanting to know -" she cut herself off with a sharp inhale, dropping her gaze to the floor. Cheeks warm and tips of her ears dusted in red.

She shook her head again. "I understand that you do not wish to see me... That you would prefer to stay in any other room-"

"That's not true." He cut her off quickly. Molten gold gaze staring at her. Piercing her soul. 

Y/n brought her eyes back up to him. Not believing his words. "Raphael-"

"You're wrong." He said again. Voice sharp.

Still, Y/n did not believe him. "You have avoided my presence." She stated, quite simply. It was a fact. Raphael could barley stand to be in the same room as Y/n, let alone hang around just the two of them.

"In order to give you space." He muttered, swallowing thickly. She watched the way his throat bobbed with the action. 

Y/n's eyebrows dipped in confusion. "You've.. Said all but a few words to me."

"To stop myself from sayin' the wrongs things." He said, taking a step towards her. Raph wet his lips with his tongue, not missing the way her eyes followed the action. His heart pounded at the sight alone. He had caught himself staring at her eyes many times, so to find hers glued to his - she had no idea the kind of chokehold she had on him.

Y/n stared at him in disbelief. "You've barley been able to look at me in the eye."

"Because I can't stand to see the misery I have caused you!" He snapped, clearly agitated. Pacing back and forth in front of her. Like a caged animal. Skin crawling at the way she watched him. Those eyes of hers... They were paralyzing. In the best way possible.

"You did not..." She whispered, hesitantly taking a single step forwards. "I am the one who has trapped you in your own home. I should have been more understanding of your space-" 

"I'm the one who trapped you." Raph cut her off, growling out the words. "I have spent the last few weeks in agony." He admitted, glancing over towards her for only a second before he resumed his pacing. "Unable to talk to you. Unable to be alone with you because I knew you wanted nothing to do with me." 

Y/n opened her mouth to protest but he continued. "Which makes sense, I mean look at me! I'm fucking scary. I'm a freak. I have a bad temper, it ain't pretty when I'm angry. I get jealous and envious easily and I'm not the best with emotions. I'm not the best guy, my brothers are ten times better than I will ever be." 

"Raph-" 

"I see the way you look at them. I see how much you care for them. Leo especially. He's the hero. I'm the villain. That's how it's always been, that's how it always will be. If yer gonna love any of us, it's understandable that it would be him." His shoulders sunk, and he finally stopped pacing but had yet to fully turn towards Y/n. His chest was heaving with much needed air after the amount of word vomit he had spewed. 

"Leo's your perfect love match..." 

"You're right in the sense that you and Leo are different. You cannot be anymore different. You're practically polar opposites." She breathed, studying him carefully. Heart aching from the words he spoke. "But who said I ever wanted Leo..." 

Raphael slowly looked towards her. Eyes boring into her own, trying to see if she was telling the truth or not. Trying to understand the meaning behind her words. 

He was silent for what felt like a long time. They both were. The silence was thick, suffocating. They both had so much they wanted to say but neither of them had the courage to say it. 

"I can't stop thinking of you," Raph started softly, "From the mornings when I wake up, to the evenings right before bed. To the dreams I have of you.. My thoughts of you never end." His hands shook ever so slightly and he balled them into fists to control it. 

"I am yours, Y/n. I have always been yours." 

Y/n took in a heavy breath, chest rising as she sucked the air into her lungs. "I.." Her eyebrows dipped again as she tried to comprehend his words. Was he saying what she thought he was? "I don't understand.." 

Raphael shook his head in frustration, "I don't know how to be anymore clear." He huffed, lifting his arms up and turning away from her. 

Y/n's gaze hardened and she moved towards him. "Do not get angry-" 

"I am not angry!" He snapped. 

"You look angry. And bothered. Look at you, you're all flushed." She gestured towards him and Raph grit his teeth, face warm in embarrassment. 

"Yes, that is what happens." 

"When one is angry." 

"When one burns for someone who does not feel the same!" Raphael hissed, closing the distance between them. Towering over her. He lifted a hand and ran it down his face, biting down on his lip.

"You.." Y/n could not bring herself to look away from him. "You burn for me?" 

"Why do you think I got angry at you for flirting with Leo?" 

"Why do you think I was flirting with Leo?" 

Raph seemed confused by this, brows pulling together. "If you even bothered to look at me, really look at me. For longer than two seconds.. You would have seen.." What small bit of distance left between them she closed by taking a final step forward.

 "I burn for you." 

[intoanotherworld23]

Guard My Body

Pairing: Reader x Joel Miller

Warnings: NSFW 18+ only, this whole one shot is pure smut and filth, there is unprotected sex, p in v, body guard Joel, rough sex, smidge of spanking, brief mention of masturbation, dirty talk, swear words

Summary: Joel is hired by your father to be your personal body guard, and he plans on doing more than just guarding your body

Hearts, reblogs and comments are highly encouraged and appreciated so I hope y’all enjoy this one! If you wish to be added to the tag list please don’t hesitate to ask cause I would be more than happy to add you! Thank you all so much for your continued support! XOXO

Check out my other works on my Hall Of Hunks

"This is so wrong." Moaning as you bounced up and down on Joel's cock. "God this is wrong."

"That why your pussy is squeezing my cock so tightly." His tone mocking as he smirked up at you. "Cause this is so wrong."

"No it feels so fucking good." Whining as your hands gripped on his shoulder most likely drawing blood.

"Should have known you'd crave my cock." His hands on your hips guiding your movements at the pace he wanted.

"What would daddy think?"

"Seeing his daughter riding her body guard." He was teasing you making your cheeks heat up. "See what a true slut his daughter is."

"Shut up." Smiling at his teasing words making him chuckle.

"Not that I'm complaining about this at all." His eyes looked down to where you two were connected. "Could stay like this all day."

A part of you knew your father would be pissed if he found out you fucked your body guard. He specifically hired him to watch you, and make sure no harm came your way.

Then again you were already so close to cumming that you didn't care. All your mind was focused on was Joel's cock so deep you felt him in the pit of your stomach.

"Joel please." Crying out as you felt the tip of his cock poking at your sweet spot making your toes curl.

Hearing you whine his name gave him the go to drive his hips up wildly into you. Your whole body was shaking and moving along with him. Your head reeled back in ecstasy hands clawing at the leather seats. Your arousal was coating his cock making it easier for him to slide in and out of you.

"What sweetheart?" He looked up at you licking his lips watching your face unravel. "Tell me what you want."

"Say it." He commanded as his thrusts slowed down and his hand came down hard on your cheek. "Say what you want baby."

"Harder Joel." Mumbling out as you started to grind your hips around his cock.

"God I should have fucked you sooner." Growling into the skin of your shoulder making your moan as he bit down.

"Bet you touched yourself to the thought of me."

He wasn't completely lying when he said that though. Every time you were alone at night you would sneak your hands down, and touch yourself imagining it was him. Of course you weren't going to admit that to him.

"No." Lying as you started to move your hips up and down, but his hands were preventing you from moving.

"I don't like liars." His voice became darker making your pussy clench around him.

Before you know it his hands one after the other came down hard on your ass cheeks. Leaving a stinging feeling as you took with scrunching your face up in pain. He wasn't playing around with you right now. It turned you on a lot more than you expected.

"Mmm wanna change that answer." A hand reached up to grab your chin and make you look at him. "I'll let you cum if you do."

"Please Joel." Begging him as you stared deep into his eyes too embarrassed to tell him the truth.

"Tell me the truth baby and I'll give you everything you want." His mouth reached forward to attach itself to your nipple.

"Oh god." Breathing out as your mouth hung open watching as he twirled his tongue around the nub.

"Fuck god yes I've touched myself to the thought of you."

"Good girl." He grinned before sharply thrusting his hips up making you gasp.

Wrapping your arms around his neck as he picked up the speed. Drilling into you so hard your entire body was turning into flames. Pressing your breasts close to his face feeling a wet tongue lick across. A shiver running up your spine as your senses became overwhelmed.

Whispering filthy and dirty things in your ear as you rode him. Your breath shaky every word he spoke, your pussy clenching every time he said something. Mouth wide open so overcome with pleasure that no sounds could come out.

"So desperate for my cock aren't you." It was a condescending question, but right now you didn't care. "Have you begging for it."

"Want to feel that delicious cunt of yours squeeze my cock." Groaning into your chest his hands coming down on your ass making them jiggle.

His cock hit your sweet spot making you scream. Finding that spot he was relentless and continued to hit it over and over again. His hands gripped onto your hips so hard they would probably bruise.

"Fuck Joel right there keep going." You mewled closing your eyes.

"Cum all over my cock baby." He snarled into your skin holding your body even closer to his trying to hit up into an angle that would have you seeing stars.

Your toes were curling and you could feel your pussy walls squeezing the life out of his cock as you released. A couple more thrusts and Joel was squirting his cum inside you. Your head leaned forward on his shoulder trying to catch your breath.

Joel's forehead was drenched in sweat and his arms were shaking still holding your trembling body. Both of you still trying to cum down from your intense high.

"Now I know why your father is so protective of you." He joked as he pressed his forehead against your collarbones.

"Thanks I guess." Scrunching your eyebrows at him with a smile making him laugh.

“I would not mind doing that again.”

“Well you know what they say.” Joel looking at you with a wide grin. “Practice makes perfect.”

Just as Joel was about to lean forward to kiss your lips a loud knock came from the door. Both your attention turning towards the sound in a sense of panic. Feeling terrified even more when you heard that familiar voice.

"Sweetheart everything alright?" Your fathers voice rang on the other side making you and Joel look to each other.

"I heard screaming."

[over-driving]

astronomy

seonghwa is worlds away from you. breaking up with him has become the best, and only, option left.

seonghwa x non-idol!reader

wc: 1.1k

warnings: angst, breaking up, crying, heartbreak, insecurities, talk about tour and being an idol, pet names (star, my love)

as i sit on the edge of our bed waiting for seonghwa to come home, i think about all the memories we had together. the good, bad and ugly. the laughter, the tears and arguments, the kisses and 'i love you's. i sit and reminisce on when we first met, when we first started dating, our first kiss, and every other little moment i spent with seonghwa. and now i have to think about what i'm going to say when he walks through that door and i have to explain to him that i'm leaving.

i hear seonghwa open the front door and then the bedroom door. i stayed unmoving on the edge of our shared bed and silently watched him. he had his bags in his hands from their tour, similar to my bags packed beside me. seonghwa looked up at me and we made silent, knowing eye contact for what felt like hours. no one moved, no one said anything, the only sound in the room was the busy street outside. that was until seonghwa broke eye contact to put his bags down on the floor with a heavy sigh. i continue to stare at seonghwa and couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes, but i'll be damned if i let them fall this early.

"it seems like we need to talk." seonghwa said but he spoke towards the ground. you could hear the strain in his voice but you weren't sure if it was from his tour or if he was trying to hold back a heart-shattering sob.

"i don't know what you want me to say, seonghwa," i look into his eyes that refused to look back at mine, "it's time for me to go."

"but it doesn't have to be" seonghwa answered back quickly and desperately. his eyes glancing between my folded hands in my lap to my packed bags at the end of our bed. i stayed quiet, wanting to see if he would add anything else; if he would beg me to stay. but seonghwa didn’t speak up again.

“please don’t make this more difficult than it has to be” i say softly. i knew breaking up with seonghwa wasn't going to be easy, but his silent desperation was eating me alive.

“then let's stop all of this. here, i'll help you unpack.” seonghwa still refused to meet my eyes as he grabbed my luggage, opened it, and started putting my clothes back into the closet. with shaky and fast hands, seonghwa opened the closet and dresser drawers. the only noise in the room was the sound of coat hangers hitting each other and the tussle of fabric. i could feel his heartache from miles away. finally, i let my tears fall as i glare at seonghwa’s back.

“i can have someone pick up my stuff some other time, seonghwa. that won't stop me from leaving.” i break the silence this time. he goes completely still, like he's frozen in place. eventually, seonghwa lets his arms fall, slapping his sides, and hangs his head down. the recurring silence is eating me alive. i want him to say something, anything. i want him to scream at me, yell at me, tell me to leave, tell me that he never even loved me.

seonghwa slowly turned around to face me, his eyes meeting mine for what felt like the first time. the tears welling up in his eyes made me choke down a quick breath and bite my tongue.

“you're my star, y/n” whispered words spill from seonghwa’s lips. words that made my heart clench and my tears fall faster.

“you can't force the stars to align, seonghwa, we’re two worlds apart.” i raised my voice slightly at him. i hate playing this back and forth game.

“two worlds apart? what do you mean, y/n?” seonghwa takes a hesitant step closer to me as he searches my eyes for the answer.

“isn't it obvious? you're an idol, seonghwa. aren't you tired of having to hide our relationship, having to pretend i don't exist, having to constantly check up on me when you're on tour? i'm doing us both a favor.” i speak loudly with my hands but the words falling from my mouth were quiet and broken up by my sobs.

“is that what this is all about? we can go public with our relationship. i don't care what happens or what anyone has to say, i just want to fix this,” seonghwa spoke rationally but i can tell by his body language that he was getting just as frustrated as me, “don't leave over something like this.”

“i guess distance doesn't always bring fondness,” i sigh and haphazardly wipe away the tears on my cheeks, “i wish i could stay with you, seonghwa”

“then stay” he makes no move to wipe his cheeks like i did. the pleading was evident within his voice, but i wasn't going to change my mind. this was the only option we had left. this was how our relationship was destined to end. we used to fantasize for hours about what our future would look like. we would stay up all night talking about our hypothetically wedding and children, but in the back of my mind i knew our words would never become a reality. i'm surprised we got as far as moving in together let alone being together for the past 5 years.

i have nothing but love for park seonghwa. that's why breaking up with him is the right thing to do. “stop trying to keep us alive”

i grab the only bag of mine that seonghwa didn't unpack and walk out of the bedroom, making a b-line for the front door of our apartment. seonghwa was close behind me, spewing incoherent sentence after sentence, begging me to stay. he grabbed onto my arm once i had reached the door.

“we’ll never be two worlds apart, my star, we’re both mars.” i can’t bear to face my soon to be ex-boyfriend; i just keep my head down as i silently cry.

“you're mars, my love, and i'm saturn. its been like that from the start. we’ve been two worlds apart for the past 5 years,” i gently shake seonghwa’s arm off of me and grab the doorknob, “i was never your star, but you’ll forever be mine.” i give him one last tearful look before i opened the door and left, what is now, seonghwa's apartment.

requests are open !!

[phantomarine]

Hey what were you trying to say in your “it gets good at page 1001” post

Was it more of a comment directed at yourself ( self degradation), is it satire about perfectionism,

Is it supposed to be inspirational for Beginners webcomic creators, or we’re you just in a bad mood?

More of a warning against self-sabotage, because I see it so much. Sometimes it's tied to perfectionism, sometimes it's the opposite - people surrendering to imperfection when they don't really have to.

Creator chat incoming. I'll put it under the deelybob for anyone who wants to read it 👇

I've been in the webcomic sphere for several years now and I've seen so many people introduce their comic with 'I know it's very long and not easy to read, and I won't be going back and changing anything about what I've already made - but please critique it so I can make the rest of the pages better and attract a bigger audience from now on.'

And that's a hard thing to respond to. If a reader can't get through all those existing pages without being confused or bored, then how can they get to the good stuff that lies past them?

So much of gaining an audience is about actively making it easy to 'fall into' a work. Without that easy entry point, it's always going to be an uphill battle to build an audience, no matter how good the later chapters get. There are outliers, but most webcomics won't be those outliers, especially with thousands of them available nowadays. Some people love the grind, but most people will jump to a new tab and try to find something less frustrating.

And webcomic creation is particularly cursed by its very nature. Creators are hesitant to go back and edit pages, even once they've figured out more details about their craft or story structure. It's mostly because of the seeming permanence of it all - the art takes ages and the words feel unchangeable if even one other person has read them. To go back and edit is to publicly admit your failings, right? That's how it feels. What do you MEAN you didn't get it right the first time? You were supposed to do it live, and do it PERFECTLY!

But ideally it shouldn't be any different than prose writing, which is ALL ABOUT finding the story in those edits. And because your story is digital, you can go back and change things whenever you feel like it. A webcomic is fluid.

And if you're thinking 'I should just redraw my whole first chapter' - NO! Hell no, old art can be a part of the appeal! It's far more about finding little tricks to convey your story/characters more clearly. I have read some first chapters with janky art that made me fall completely in love with the story and cast. It's not about the art - as with all things comic-related, it's about conveyance.

Examples I've seen and some I've used myself: A single extra page with a meaningful interaction can solidify the theme of a character's arc. One additional 5-to-10-page scene can help add visual context for an offscreen event where there was none before. Adding a map can tell people where the characters currently are. Changing a character design can help if they get often confused with another character. Redoing your lettering to make it more legible is a huge one too.

In the end, I just don't want people to be afraid of small edits. When I got feedback about the bad clarity of my own work, I knew it would take some time to fix those problems. It wasn't fun to think about or to do, but I'm glad I did it in the end - because it would have limited my audience tremendously. With just a bit of extra effort, I opened a door that wasn't there before, and it now leads more people even more easily to 'the good stuff.'

tl;dr You started your webcomic for a reason, and you're learning more things about its characters, story, and craft every day. Don't be afraid to go back to old pages and inject some of that wisdom through editing. Even a little can go a long way.

***Caveat: If your goal is to just create chaotically, with no goal of gaining an audience, you are a wild and free little thing, and I am in awe of you. This whole rant doesn't apply to you, and you are stronger than me.

[shuhwaa]

Karina | Praise [M]

Kinkmas 2023 - Day 3 Aespa Karina x gn!reader words: ~900 genre: smut (sub!Karina, lots of praise, a bit of teasing, fingering (idol receiving), reader is a little possessive) warnings: none

You can hear her sigh as she relaxes against your touch as soon as your lips come in contact with the skin on her neck. Observing her reflection in the mirror closely, you see her eyelids fluttering shut and her lips part to let out a small moan as you start nibbling on the spot - but only as an appetizer, so as not to leave a visible mark there. The sight of your girlfriend in that black dress that's wrapped around her shape so perfectly has been driving you crazy all day, and now that you're finally granted some time alone with her, you can't wait another second to make her yours.

"Jimin..." you whisper her name into her ear, hands resting on her waist. "You're so beautiful, do you know that?" She merely whines in response, face grimacing as she opens her eyes to look at you through the hotel room mirror right in front of her, and you can see her blush. You can't suppress a smirk at her shyness, and you leave a trail of kisses up the side of her throat, before you run your palms up and down her torso once.

"You look so pretty in that dress too..." you continue muttering praises at your girlfriend, feeling her melting a little more each time. "Too bad I'm about to tear it off." She gulps at your words, before replying,

"P-please be careful... I still need to take pictures in this..." You chuckle at her innocence, and then you spin her around in your hold, catching her by surprise as you smash your lips against hers in a fiery kiss. 

"Fine..." you mumble into her mouth, "I'll be careful." You reach to her back to unzip the dress in a haste, and you muster all of your patience as you take it off her, leaving her in only her underwear when you push her onto the bed. You get on top of her quickly, and once again you find a layer of pink dusted onto her face, shining through her makeup.

"I'll hold back now," you say as you lower yourself to scatter kisses all over her chest and collarbones. "But I'm going to ruin you later." Her whimpering at your words, you don't hesitate to let your fingertips dance down her stomach, starting to tease her through her panties.

"Y/N..." she weakly calls out your name, reaching out to wrap her arms around your shoulders. 

"What is it, my pretty girl?" you ask.

"M-more..." You chuckle at her request. 

"What? Does my pretty girl want my fingers inside her?"

"Yes..." Jimin shoots you a pleading look that you could've resisted had you had the time to tease her properly. But you know she has to be back out there, ready to continue her work in about 15 minutes, and you swear you can't take it until she gets off work to have her moaning your name as she comes undone underneath you. And so you give in, planting a gentle kiss onto her forehead before connecting your lips to hers in an open mouthed kiss.

"I'll make you cum so good..." you mutter as you push the fabric of her underwear aside and she shivers when you slide a finger inside. "So wet..." you comment.

"Mhm," she can't but agree as she squeezes her eyes shut, biting down on her lower lip to avoid making any sudden sounds.

"Can't wait until I get to have you for the rest of the night..." You add another finger, drawing a muffled moan out of her, and you grin at her when she bucks her hips into your touch. "So needy..." She lets out another desperate sound and you wonder whether she'd manage to keep quiet all the way through. Still you keep pumping your fingers in and out of her, gradually increasing the speed as you watch her desperately fighting to keep her composure.

"You're so cute," you mutter at the sight. "Doing so well for me..." Once again Jimin whines at your praise, and when you can tell she's coming close, you press your thumb against her clit, rubbing circles on it. Her body reacts immediately, now trembling underneath you as you simply watch the way her face distorts from pleasure. "So beautiful..." you whisper. "And I'm the only one who can see how you beautiful you are when I make you cum." She lets out another small whine in agreement, her hips starting to stutter as she keeps moving them along with you fingering her. Just a few more repetitions of your movements, and she's hit by her orgasm, doing everything in her might to keep quiet as you can feel her violently clenching around your fingers.

You pull out of her carefully, and as you wait for her to catch her breath, you place a few soft kisses into her neck and onto her cheeks. Wrapping your arms around her loosely to hold her close, you eventually say,

"Such a good girl for keeping quiet... now I really can't wait until we're home and I can hear your voice properly..."

[abandoned-anemoia]

Workout Routine

☯ Pairing: Yang Jeongin x fem!reader ☯ Genre: smut ☯ Word count: 1.3k ☯ Summary: When your boyfriend asks you to come to the gym with him, your hesitation and boredom cause him to find a way to entertain you. ☯ Warnings: piv, unprotected sex (don't be stupid), mirror sex, public sex, Jeongin has a dirty ass mouth (but we love it), choking/hand around your throat, Jeongin calls reader a "pretty thing" "slut" "whore" "good girl", he is a cheeky little shit ☯ A/N: Please Let me know if I need to add any warnings! ☯Disclaimer: None of my work represents any of the idols included in any way. This is merely fictional and all based on my opinion as a joke! I have nothing against any of these idols and love them all dearly.

Please do not copy, translate, or post as your own!

"Pleaaaase. Just come with me!"

This is how your morning has started, with your loving boyfriend begging you to go to the gym with him. Not your ideal morning since all you want to do is relax around your apartment. That was, of course, until Jeongin showed up at your door.

He pouts at your silent refusal as you stand in front of him, unmoving, "I have to go anyway, but if you come with me then we get to spend more time together."

Sighing, you make your way back to your bedroom to get dressed. You are wrapped around his finger and he knows it. One simple glassy eyed look accompanied by pouty lips and you're agreeing to anything he says or asks of you.

When you walk back to the door to meet Jeongin, he is bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet with a bright smile on his face, cheeks bunched up under his eyes. Trying not to squander his excitement but hoping to compromise, you cradle his face in your hands, "I'll go with you, but I'm not working out."

Happily nodding, he grabs your hand and drags you out the door, "That's okay! As long as we're together."

Cute.

…

The gym was virtually empty, rows of equipment going unused. Jeongin walks you to the back of the gym and into a smaller area. He stands in front of the mirror that covers the wall, stretching while you seat yourself on the chest press machine to watch him.

A solid hour into his gym session, you're bored out of your mind. You whine to Jeongin, begging him to cut it short and finish up. He only laughs, "You wouldn't be so bored if you did something."

Rolling your eyes, you throw the small towel sitting next to you at him, "I only came for you. Not to workout."

"Compromise?" He suggests, letting the towel hit his chest as he continues to use the machine you were once sat on.

You nod your head, raising an eyebrow in question, allowing him to continue, "I can use you to work out."

Eyes widening comically large, your mind going to dirty places, you try to stutter out a response. Not being able to find the words, Jeongin seems to catch on quickly at your blabbering, "Not like that!" He pauses, a sly smirk forming on his face, "Unless you want me to use you? Fuck you against that mirror? Or better yet, make you watch yourself while I fuck you?"

Your lips form a tight line, breath catching in your throat. Jeongin tilts his head, resembling a curious puppy while you resemble a fish out of water, gaping at him. A chuckle escapes his lips, standing up and coming face to face with you, "Get on my back. I need to do squats."

He turns away from you, bending down slightly and allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders, your legs wrapping around his waist when he lifts you onto his back. He continues his workout as if he never said anything out of the ordinary.

When he sets you back on the ground again, he squats down and rests his back against a bench. He moves his legs out from under him, patting his raised hips, "Sit."

Obeying once again, you straddle him, sitting on his waist. He taps your legs, silently telling you to lift them off of the ground for him. Your hands rest on his chest for balance, bending your knees to keep your feet from hitting the floor as he raises his hips, lowering them seconds later before repeating the action. His clothed dick rubs against your ass, getting harder with every hip thrust.

Frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands, rocking your hips against his, pussy clenching around nothing when you grind against Jeongin. His hands quickly move to your hips, standing up, giving you no time to react as you stumble to your feet. Hands squeezing your hips so tightly that his fingerprints will be on your skin for days, his face comes close to yours, "You think you can get away with that, huh?"

Heart racing and breathing rapidly, you don't answer him. One of Jeongin's hands leaves your waist, wrapping his fingers around your throat, "I asked you a question. Answer it."

You shake your head, one hand coming up to grab his wrist while the other fists his shirt. He gives your throat a squeeze before sliding it up to grip your jaw, "Words, pretty thing. Use them."

"No, I'm sorry." He knows you don't mean it. You were doing it on purpose. Riling him up to get his attention.

Jeongin completely lets go of you, backing away and pulling down his shorts, his dick springing out of his boxers when he pulls down the waistband. Reaching for your hips, he pulls you toward him, quickly ridding you of your own bottoms, letting you kick them off to the side. Groaning when he sees how wet you are, he sits on the bench, stroking his cock while maintaining eye contact.

He stops, jerking your body toward him and spinning you around before sitting you on his lap, facing the mirror across the small room. His dick rests on your back as he reaches around to spread your legs apart, keeping them open with his own legs and kneading the insides of your thighs.

Effortlessly lifting you up, he lines himself up with your entrance, sliding inside in one swift motion. When you try to rock your hips, Jeongin grips them again, keeping you in place as he slips in and out of your throbbing cunt.

Moaning loudly, you grab onto his wrist with one hand, the other grabbing onto your own leg. Jeongin scoffs from behind you, "You want people to hear what a needy little slut you are? See how well you take my cock?"

The thought of someone walking in on you only serves to turn you on even more. You let out another loud moan, head spinning as he picks up his pace, pounding into you. Tightly closing your eyes as he hits all of the right places, your breathing picking up as you let out small whimpers between your moans.

"Open your eyes, baby." Jeongin's voice comes out strong, almost as if he isn't affected at all.

You do as he says, watching his dick sink inside your throbbing pussy. Your eyes meet his hooded ones through the mirror, "Atta girl. Be a good little whore and touch yourself for me."

Jeongin's hands gripping your waist, slamming you down on his dick repeatedly as your fingers circle your clit. Loud moans ring out from the both of you, the sound of skin slapping together echoes through the room. He grunts into your shirt, "That's right, take it like a good girl."

The coil in your stomach snaps, unraveling with a choked scream as he continues his assault on your soaking wet pussy. He buries his dick deep inside of you, releasing with a loud groan. Jeongin slides out of you, gently sitting you on the bench before slipping his cock back into his boxers and pulling his shorts up, "I should add that into my routine."

Laughing at his proposition, you let him clean you up before he grabs your bottoms from the floor, helping you stand and put them back on, "I wouldn't be opposed."

He smiles at you, softly holding your face between his hands and planting a sweet kiss on your lips. Pulling away, he presses another kiss to your forehead before grabbing his gym bag and turning back to you, "I would say I'm serious, but I don't think we'll be allowed back at this gym."

Tilting your head in confusion, he points to the camera in the corner of the room, answering your silent question. Your cheeks flush bright red as you begin to rush a laughing Jeongin out of the gym without being seen.

[weird-is-life]

hiiiii! so i found ur blog on my feed, and LOVED IT!!! so can i request a oneshot?

basically, reader is more on the insecure side, and has social anxiety? I'm not sure if this represents social anxiety, or regular anxiety, or none at all?? but reader wants to drop off lunch or some breakfast and a coffee for Spencer but doesn't want him to be embarrassed by coming to his office. so he confronts us about it one day then we explain

much love from a new follower <33

Hii lovely, thank you for this request and for following🥰 hope this is okay. Warnings: use of pet names, fluff, anxious feelings, mentions of lunch/eating? (0.6k)

You are lost in your thoughts as you and Spencer eat lunch together in his kitchen. It's not unusual for either of you to be zoned out, but your frown clearly tells Spencer that something is bothering you. He doesn't need to use his profiling skills for that.

"Hey," he squeezes your hand to get your attention," what's going on up in that beatiful brain of yours, huh?"

"What?" you break out of the thoughts, but then you add, "nothing." Obviously it's a lie and you both know it.

"Nothing? Doesn't look like nothing to me, sweetheart," he says, rubbing gentle circles over your skin.

"It's just....-it's silly, really," you mumble quietly.

"Amuse me?" he inquires, eyebrows drawn up.

You hesitate for a second, suddenly feeling a bit shy. But it's Spencer, your Spencer, that is asking you to be honest with him, so you tell him what is on your mind, "I know, you are going to work tomorrow and-and you always say, that you either eat junk food or you don't eat at all. And I don't want you to do any of those things, so I was thinking, that maybe.... that maybe I could bring you some lunch? I want to but...-" you ramble quickly.

"But?" Spencer asks.

"I don't know if it would be okay. I don't want to embarrass you, Spence," you sheepishly admit. Your eyes looking everywhere, but him.

"Embarrass me? Are you serious?," he expresses, he says it as if he's just heard the most ridiculous thing," I'd love for you to bring me lunch tomorrow, love. Really, it would be great and I would definitely not be embarrassed. Are you kidding? I would proudly show everybody how nice my girlfriend is and make them be jealous of my delicious lunch."

Your cheeks go red from his last few words," really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Never, you can come to my work anytime, pretty girl, okay? Please do come, anytime."

"Okay, good" you respond, a content smile on your face as Spencer kisses your hand, before he resumes eating his food.

"Good," he smiles at you, too.

-

You are standing inside the elevator, contemplating about turning away. You've got Spencer's lunch in your hands and a nervous smile on your face.

You've met Spencer's team before, but you've never been inside the Bau before. And let me say, it is very nerve-wracking to be there.

You definitely know, that you are at the right place, because as you walk through the room, everybody looks up. Nothing goes unnoticed by those agents, it's literally their job to be aware of their surroundings.

And Spencer notices you straight away too, especially because you are beelining your way towards him.

"Hi," you breath out, a small blush on your cheeks.

"Hi, sweetheart," he stands up to hug you immediately. Which calms your anxiety by a lot, "how are you doing? Did you have any problems getting here?"

"I'm okay and no, the security knew where to send me after I introduced myself to them," you admit, you know, that it is because Spencer told them.

"I'm glad," he takes the food from your hands and immediately takes them into his, "I'm also very happy, that you came here. Thank you for bringing me lunch, love" his warm hands over yours sooth your nerves almost completely away.

"Your welcome, Spence," you smile at him sincerely.

"Now come on, I'll show you around, before you decide to run away from him," he jokes, he can see that you are still anxious to be there. So he hopes, showing you around will help. And maybe when you pass some hidden corners, he will get to kiss you. To kiss your worries away.

[sunnebeam]

one more kiss.

DRABBLE.

pairing: kim seokjin x reader

warnings: smut (minors do not interact), unprotected sex (this is fiction, but please be more responsible irl), angst, cursed!reader, mentions of past deaths in which reader feels responsible for, open-ended (i'll leave it up to ur imaginations what happened next heh)

masterlist + disclaimers.

note: ok so this is just me turning most of my fic ideas into short drabbles just so i can check then off my wip list ^^ so without further ado, here's a drabble for our lovely jin! let me know what u think

Quiet nights often bring loud thoughts.

Take tonight, for instance. It's rather quiet and peaceful, fluffy clouds filtering the moonlight, no other sounds except for the beat of your heart and his. It's a tranquil night, and for an overthinker like Seokjin, it's a night of loud what-ifs.

What if he kisses you?

He'd love to. You've been together for a while now, yet he never once tasted your lips.

What if you kiss him?

You'd love to, too. But you love him more, and you won't ever let his lips find a home in yours.

You can't.

"Hey," he calls out to you as you're both snuggling blissfully in bed, your clothes and his in rumpled heaps on the floor, the light sheen of sweat covering your bodies a testament to the lewd acts you both just engaged in a few moments prior.

"Hmm," you hum in acknowledgment, your fingers tracing patterns on his skin near where your head lays on his bare chest.

"Do you love me?"

You're tracing your initials now.

"Do you love me?"

"I asked first."

You're tracing his name.

"I do," you finally whisper, and feeling vulnerable, you add, "more than I should."

He halts your fingers' movements and takes your hand in his.

"I do, too," he whispers, bringing your hand to his lips, mindful of your slight hesitation when you feel his plump lips on your skin. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

And that's all the permission he needs.

Flipping you over, he lays you on your back and hovers above you — a position all too familiar in lovers' bedrooms, but not in yours.

"Wait," you say, frightened at the change, "Jin, we can't—"

You've never done this before. You've only ever fucked in positions where he's pounding into you from behind. You've never had sex facing each other before. And for good reason.

He kisses your nose, and you freeze in fright at the action, at the feeling of his lips just a few centimeters from your own.

"Trust me?" he pleads, looking straight into your eyes.

It's not that you don't trust him. It's just that you know he won't be able to resist.

After all, nobody was ever able to resist.

That's just how the curse worked – with your lips luring in their prey, and their victims unable to resist.

"I can't lose you," you tell him, eyes tearing up.

And like a moth to a flame, the moment their lips touch yours...

"You won't."

...they die.

It's why you never let Jin kiss you. It's why you never have sex in missionary. You can't take any chances. You can't.

Too many people have died in the past because of you, because you were careless, because you were reckless. Too many people have died because of your kiss, and you'd be damned if you let Jin be another one of them.

"I thought you understood." A tear slips down your cheek. "I want to, I swear. But it's too dangerous, Jin."

He catches the tear and wipes it away.

"I promise I'll be careful."

Now, Jin has always been honest with you. But tonight – with you in his arms like this, with your resolve starting to waver, and with your tiny nod finally giving him silent permission – he prioritizes your peace of mind over his and decides to lie to you.

He's lying to you as he cradles you in his arms and places kisses on your neck. He's lying to you as he moves his fingers to your wet heat and preps you for him. He's lying to you as he then pumps his cock and slowly slips inside you.

"F-Fuck," you moan at the stretch, hands clutching his shoulders in a death grip. The sensation the unfamiliar position brings is too much for you, and you find yourself nearing your climax in a way you never have before.

"You're so wet," he groans, thrusting into you in a slow, sensual pace, and feeling your pussy clench uncontrollably.

"I'm so close, Jin," you whimper, not even the least bit embarrassed that you'll finish so early.

"Let go, love. It's okay."

He wants you to let go. He needs you to let go of all your fears, your burdens, your inhibitions. Everything.

He wants you to give them all to him. He needs you to let him carry them, shoulder them, bury them. For you.

Because he's your soulmate. Your one true love.

"I'm cumming!" you cry out, reaching your high.

You're coming undone around his cock, your pussy milking him and coaxing him into his own orgasm. He follows just seconds after, spilling inside you and staying there until his dick eventually softens.

He pulls out slowly and looks at you.

Your eyes are closed and you have a small, content smile on your face at this new level of intimacy you just experienced with your lover. And it's that same, content smile that prompts him to do what he does next.

He kisses you.

He kisses you because he always wondered what it would be like to kiss you, always wondered what your lips would taste like on his tongue, always wondered what your lips would feel like pressed against his own.

He kisses you because he always wanted to kiss you, always wanted to feel close to you, always wanted to experience this kind of intimacy with you.

He kisses you because he always thought about what your life would be like if you weren't crippled by your curse.

What if there's a cure? What if there's something he could do? What if, somewhere, somehow, there's a way?

And so tonight, there would be no more what-ifs.

Because he read about curses like yours and there's a theory about how only one thing can fix it.

A true love's kiss.

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[mingihttps]

astronomy

seonghwa x non-idol!reader

seonghwa is worlds away from you. breaking up with him has become the best, and only, option left.

wc: 1.1k

warnings: angst, crying, breaking up, heartbreak, insecurities, talk about tour and idol life, pet names (star, my love)

as i sit on the edge of our bed waiting for seonghwa to come home, i think about all the memories we had together. the good, bad and ugly. the laughter, the tears and arguments, the kisses and 'i love you's. i sit and reminisce on when we first met, when we first started dating, our first kiss, and every other little moment i spent with seonghwa. and now i have to think about what i'm going to say when he walks through that door and i have to explain to him that i'm leaving.

i hear seonghwa open the front door and then the bedroom door. i stayed unmoving on the edge of our shared bed and silently watched him. he had his bags in his hands from their tour, similar to my bags packed beside me. seonghwa looked up at me and we made silent, knowing eye contact for what felt like hours. no one moved, no one said anything, the only sound in the room was the busy street outside. that was until seonghwa broke eye contact to put his bags down on the floor with a heavy sigh. i continue to stare at seonghwa and couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes, but i'll be damned if i let them fall this early.

"it seems like we need to talk." seonghwa said but he spoke towards the ground. you could hear the strain in his voice but you weren't sure if it was from his tour or if he was trying to hold back a heart-shattering sob.

"i don't know what you want me to say, seonghwa," i look into his eyes that refused to look back at mine, "it's time for me to go."

"but it doesn't have to be" seonghwa answered back quickly and desperately. his eyes glancing between my folded hands in my lap to my packed bags at the end of our bed. i stayed quiet, wanting to see if he would add anything else; if he would beg me to stay. but seonghwa didn’t speak up again.

“please don’t make this more difficult than it has to be” i say softly. i knew breaking up with seonghwa wasn't going to be easy, but his silent desperation was eating me alive.

“then let's stop all of this. here, i'll help you unpack.” seonghwa still refused to meet my eyes as he grabbed my luggage, opened it, and started putting my clothes back into the closet. with shaky and fast hands, seonghwa opened the closet and dresser drawers. the only noise in the room was the sound of coat hangers hitting each other and the tussle of fabric. i could feel his heartache from miles away. finally, i let my tears fall as i glare at seonghwa’s back.

“i can have someone pick up my stuff some other time, seonghwa. that won't stop me from leaving.” i break the silence this time. he goes completely still, like he's frozen in place. eventually, seonghwa lets his arms fall, slapping his sides, and hangs his head down. the recurring silence is eating me alive. i want him to say something, anything. i want him to scream at me, yell at me, tell me to leave, tell me that he never even loved me.

seonghwa slowly turned around to face me, his eyes meeting mine for what felt like the first time. the tears welling up in his eyes made me choke down a quick breath and bite my tongue.

“you're my star, y/n” whispered words spill from seonghwa’s lips. words that made my heart clench and my tears fall faster.

“you can't force the stars to align, seonghwa, we’re two worlds apart.” i raised my voice slightly at him. i hate playing this back and forth game.

“two worlds apart? what do you mean, y/n?” seonghwa takes a hesitant step closer to me as he searches my eyes for the answer.

“isn't it obvious? you're an idol, seonghwa. aren't you tired of having to hide our relationship, having to pretend i don't exist, having to constantly check up on me when you're on tour? i'm doing us both a favor.” i speak loudly with my hands but the words falling from my mouth were quiet and broken up by my sobs.

“is that what this is all about? we can go public with our relationship. i don't care what happens or what anyone has to say, i just want to fix this,” seonghwa spoke rationally but i can tell by his body language that he was getting just as frustrated as me, “don't leave over something like this.”

“i guess distance doesn't always bring fondness,” i sigh and haphazardly wipe away the tears on my cheeks, “i wish i could stay with you, seonghwa”

“then stay” he makes no move to wipe his cheeks like i did. the pleading was evident within his voice, but i wasn't going to change my mind. this was the only option we had left. this was how our relationship was destined to end. we used to fantasize for hours about what our future would look like. we would stay up all night talking about our hypothetically wedding and children, but in the back of my mind i knew our words would never become a reality. i'm surprised we got as far as moving in together let alone being together for the past 5 years.

i have nothing but love for park seonghwa. that's why breaking up with him is the right thing to do. “stop trying to keep us alive”

i grab the only bag of mine that seonghwa didn't unpack and walk out of the bedroom, making a b-line for the front door of our apartment. seonghwa was close behind me, spewing incoherent sentence after sentence, begging me to stay. he grabbed onto my arm once i had reached the door.

“we’ll never be two worlds apart, my star, we’re both mars.” i can’t bear to face my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend; i just keep my head down as i silently cry.

“you're mars, my love, and i'm saturn. its been like that from the start. we’ve been two worlds apart for the past 5 years,” i gently shake seonghwa’s arm off of me and grab the doorknob, “i was never your star, but you’ll forever be mine.” i give him one last tearful look before i opened the door and left what is now seonghwa's apartment.

requests are open !!

reposted from my old account

[siren0writer]

Shayna x fem!reader

Submission magician

Warnings: smut, mdni, fingering, finger sucking, strap-on, spitting in mouth, oral, fluff at the end

"You call yourself the submission magician, I wanna see you prove it," I say snarkily at the queen of spades. "It would be an honor to show you, you know which hotel room is mine baby, I'll see you at 10:00." Shayna turned around and walked away from me leaving me in stunned silence, I had been unashamedly flirting with Shayna for weeks now. I move toward my hotel room, checking my phone for the time I walk back to my room as well, only 30 minutes left until I get what I've been yearning for.

I sit at the foot of my bed tapping my leg and checking the time, my phone tells me it's 9:52 so I get up, fix my lipgloss, and make my way to Shayna's room. Right as I knock the door opens, "Somebody's happy to see me," I giggle. Shayna, assumedly impatient, pulls me inside and pins me to the wall, the door still open for god and everyone to see. "Take off your clothes like a good girl for me," Shayna retorts. I give her a lustful look and joke "With the door open, Shayna I am insulted, I am a woman of class." "No, you're not," Shayna says, practically dragging me to her bed. She puts her hand on the back of my head and pulls me closer kissing me roughly.

"Hate to kill the mood like this you know I do, but the door is still open." Shayna pulls away from my neck begrudgingly and finally closes the door, with an unneeded about of sass might I add. I begin to take off my shirt, Shayna laughing about how eager I am for her. She puts her strong but quite surprisingly soft hands on my hips as I unclasp my bra. "God baby, you're so fucking pretty." Shayna pulls me in for a kiss again, this time it was much softer than the last.

She picks me up and lays me down on her hotel bed before sliding my shorts and panties off, leaving me fully naked in front of her. "You got such a pretty little pussy baby." I moaned at her words alone, feeling myself getting wetter by the second. I feel Shayna slide a finger into my cunt, giving me very little time before she adds another. "God, it feels so good Shayna" Shayna looked up from my cunt at the sound of her name. "I like it when you say my name baby, say it again." I moan at Shayna's change in pace, barely able to think let alone talk. "Sh-shayna please, feels so good."

Shayna removes her fingers before I can cum and brings them to my mouth for me to suck on, and without hesitation I oblige. After a couple of seconds, she slides her fingers out of my mouth. "Let me eat you out, please?" Shayna laughs at my begging tone as she takes off her shorts. She stops just before she takes off her boxers and turns her head back up to look at me. "Tonight is supposed to be about you baby," she looks at me with a soft smile. "I don't think you truly understand how much I want you right now, I've been so good for you please lemme eat you out." My begging getting more and more pathetic the longer Shayna makes me wait.

Shayna finally takes off her boxers, slowly moving closer toward me. She moves to straddle my face, her cunt hovering mere inches above me as if teasing me. "You can sit on my face, you don't have to hover over me I won't suffocate," even if I did suffocate it wouldn't matter, that's how much I need her. I watch as she slowly lowers herself, and as soon as she is fully on me I begin. I had eaten plenty of people out before, but they all paled in comparison to the Queen of Spades. Her whines, her moans, her taste, her hands tugging roughly at my hair, it was intoxicating.

As I lap my tongue over Shayna's clit continuously, I can tell that Shayna is quickly getting closer to cumming. "Shit baby, making me feel so good, god your tongue feels so good on me baby." after a particular rough tug on my hair from Shayna I moan loudly into Shayna's cunt, subsequently causing her to cum all over my face. Shayna watches as I lick the juices off of my lips and lets out a chuckle. "Sorry for the mess baby," "No your not," I laugh in return.

and takes off her shirt. "I'm gonna grab my strap real quick, can you be good for me?" I moan involuntarily her words, "yes, ma'am." my tone now back to joking from the embarrassingly pathetic one it was when Shayna was inside of me.

I see her taking off the rest of her clothes and putting on her strap. "Close your mouth, baby, you'll catch flies," I clear my throat to respond but my mind blanks as she climbs on top of me. "You're gonna be good for me right, go on use your words." The words leave my brain as she moves her hand to rub my clit. "Yes Mommy, I'll be good I promise." She removes her fingers from my clit to guide her silicone strap to my wet cunt.

Shayna slides in with little to no effort from either of us and I let out a pornographic moan in response. Shayna gives me a few seconds to adjust to the size before she begins to thrust inside me. I cry out "Mommy, f-faster." Shayna fakes a frown of pity and kisses me on my neck while speeding up her pace. "God, you look so pretty underneath me baby, so fucking gorgeous." I try my hardest to respond, but I just can't with her fucking me the way she is right now.

"Are you gonna cum baby, I can tell by the way your squeezing me." I moan involuntarily at her words, my voice still not working. "It's okay, you've been good, go ahead and come for me, baby." Suddenly I feel the tightening coil in my stomach snap. I feel my legs shake uncontrollably. As soon as the feeling in my legs came back I got up and began to put my clothes back on. I assumed Shayna wanted me out as soon as possible, and I wasn't used to staying after a hook up.

"Where are you going, are you not staying the night?" Shayna looked at me confused, possibly hurt and I put the shirt in my hand down. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me too stay, I didn't want to impose" I say apologetically, I could tell that me leaving hurt Shayna more than she would show. "if you want to leave you c-" I cut shayna off before she can finish, eager to stay with her. "I wanna spend the night here with you." Shayna looked up from the nightstand she had focused her eyes on and smiled at me, a mischievous devilish smile. "Good, cause we're far from done."

[tillthelandslide]

Same For You: (8) Studio Sessions

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

A/n: huge huge thank you to my love @procrastinatinglikeapro for your help with the end of this chapter, for listening to my rambling and for being invested in this series and supporting me and my delusions. I hope you all like this chapter, I really do :) I know this is quite a short chapter but trust me... its just getting good by friends, - your Lou

Series Masterlist

(7) Hate Missing You

The studio feels almost empty in comparison to their other sessions. Ross was unable to make it, texting her saying that he was visiting his brother, she sent back a selfie of her pouting which made his heart swell and his mouth spread into a wide smile. He quickly text back a "sorry love, don't miss me too much. I'll miss you" again his forwardness surprised her but she didn't feel too shy anymore, she liked the way he made her feel, she liked how he wasn't hesitant, telling her exactly how he felt. After their conversation at their last studio session, they had decided to act the way they wanted with each other, but they both knew it couldn't progress any further than that, and despite the deep desire for that to happen, they settled on this agreement... for now at least.

Abbie and Clara were busy at their day jobs, which left Matty, George, Jay and Y/n at the studio.

Jay and George seemed to be getting along swimmingly and we're working on various bits whilst y/n and Matty spoke. She was showing him an arrangement she had been working on and after his input they started recording various parts for the track.

Jay discovered he had a lot more in common with both men than he had initially thought, he liked them and felt optimistic about the whole deal. Eventually he finished up his parts and left, hugging Y/n tightly, muttering a quick apology for previously being an arse, before leaving the studio.

"Fancy a coffee?" Matty asks, Y/n is lying down on the studio floor, back against the carpet and legs hooked over the sofa next to where Matty was sat. He places a hand on her shins as he speaks to her and she smiles up at him.

"Yes please" he's then asking George before leaving to walk a block or two away from the studio.rhey work in silence for a little while before George turns to face her.

"Changed your mind about signing with dirty hit yet?" George asks, he's sat at the sound board, fiddling with certain parts of the track, adding a little reverb to her vocals, testing how it sounds out loud. They share a look, and she nods, letting him know she liked it.

"I'm being persuaded' she jokes and George laughs.

"You'd be a really great addition to the label I have to say" she turns around then, leaning against the sofa and facing him, she frowns at him and he frowns back, unsure why she's frowning in the first place.

"I don't like how you all refer to me... As well.. just me... The band is really important to me y'know... You won't just be signing me, you'll be singing us' she says and he respects that she's standing up for them.

"Sorry love... I for one should know better. Know how much it sucks when people do that... Guess we're lucky we treat each other like equals, but I know how it feels when others don't... Sorry if we haven't done that for your band so far" he says and she smiles, accepting his apology.

"It's okay"

"Truth is though y/n.... Your band is amazing, truly... But you, you really are something else. It's not just Matty and Ross who think that, we all do, even Adam who hasn't been here in the studios witnessing it" George says honestly. She blushes at the mention of the other men, George's words making it perfectly clear that whatever was going on with them, everyone knew they the two former mentioned men were obsessed.

"See that" she says, lying back down on the floor "that makes me uncomfortable" she says making George laugh.

"I'm just a twat who's in a band and plays instruments because it's what I like doing... I'm not some special thing" she says, explaining how she felt badly, making herself frustrated.

"You sound like Matty" he says and she laughs.

"Oh god" she groans, placing a hand over her face.

She turns to pull her guitar towards her, laying it over her chest, playing it at an awkward angle, playing some suspending chords, trying to come up with a melody.

"You and Matty get along well huh?" He asks and she thinks he's snooping a little, which makes her chuckle to herself.

"We do" her voice is drawn out, not revealing too much but leaving it open for him to ask more questions if he wanted to.

"so you're a closed book now?" He asks and she laughs, placing her guitar back down and standing, walking over to where George is, leaning against the side of the sound board, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Not at all... You've just got ask the right questions... What do you want to know?" She says and he raises his eyebrows impressively. She had already opened up to George about Ross and the advise he gave her was good. But she was unsure whether this was an interrogation or not.

"What's happening with Matty?"

"nothing" an eyebrow raise is directed her way.

"We've hung out a few times but we got to know each other pretty well... We're very similar in a lot of ways but completely different in others... I can't explain it very well but... It seems like we just get each other. Nothings happening. He's my friend" George smiles at her, mumbling an "okay... Good" she wonders why he says it.

Did he not want anything to happen between them? She thinks. That question is pointless she thinks, nothing was going to happen, they're friends she thinks. Besides... They couldn't, they were working with each other and she clearly felt some sort of way about his best friend.

"That's probably best" George says and she's the one raising her eyebrows then, wordlessly asking "and why's that?"

She's half expecting him to say something about remaining progressional, or something about the age gap (god knows she's had enough of that from her bandmates since she went out with the band and went to Matty's and since her coffee date (?) with Ross).

"Think Ross fancies you" she wasn't expecting that, she tries to hide her blush but fails doing so, hoping George wouldn't be an arse and comment on it. She knew he had suspected his friends feelings for her, the unplanned dinner was laced with ulterior motives and his slightly sketchy behaviour had given him (and his girlfriend) away. But the two of them had been tiptoeing around the subject, not outwardly confessing things like that.

"Well that's new information" (she lies) "Wouldn't he hate you outing him like that?"

"Think it's pretty obvious don't you?" He asks and suddenly the door is opening behind them and Matty is walking in with their coffees.

"You lifesaver" she says, walking over to him as he holds out her coffee.

"Vanilla latte" he says and she smiles.

"You remembered" she says, taking it from him and taking a sip, sighing at the delicious taste. It had been awhile since they first had coffee and the fact he still remembered made her smile, it made her feel special.

"Of course"

George zones the pair out as they sit on the floor, too busy editing the tracks they've worked on so far, not without asking "trust me?" Which y/n says "of course". He's then got his earphones on and is completely distracted by the songs.

"Matty, I can't think right now" she says, pouting as she sits next to him.

"That's okay... We don't have to be constantly working, you've done amazing so far, the songs sound amazing" he says making her smile.

"I know I want to do a song with not many lyrics, one that shows off the others a bit more... One where everyone can see how fucking sick they are... But I can't invision it right now" her hand weaves through her hair, tugging harshly out of frustration.

"It's okay" he grabs her hand, feeling the soft strands of her hair graze his hands as he does, he pulls it away, squeezing once before letting go "we can work with that... But for now, we can just talk and distract you a little bit. How does that sound?" He lets out a little "hmm?" When she doesn't answer and he's greeted with a soft smile and a nod.

She picks up her acoustic guitar again, thinking of something else to play to distract herself.

"Sometimes when my mind goes blank, I play some other songs, songs that aren't mine... Some of my favourites" she explains and Matty nods.

"Play me something then... Preferably not one of ours... Know how obsessed you are" he says, making her nudge her shoulder against his to shut him up.

She begins playing one of her favorite songs, "Crystal" by Fleetwood Mac, she doesn't sing, opting to just play the tune.

"Great song..." Matty says and she nods.

"Used to sing it with my brother... Mum used to play their records all the time and she would always beg us to sing this song" She explains and Matty smiles but doesn't speak, he almost senses there's more to be told but doesn't press, instead letting her explain in her own time, but when she doesn't he frowns. She continues playing the song, gently humming instead of singing the lyrics, Matty watches her with a smile, feeling relaxed it.

"Hey y/n, I have an idea" they eventually hear George say, placing one of the ears of the headset behind his ear.

She stands and walks over to where he is, George points at one of the layers of the track, clicking play. Her vocal fills the room then before he pauses it.

"I think we should add another lower harmony to this layer, just this layer..." He says.

"When's Jay next available?" George asks and y/n frowns "not for the rest of the week... He's only free for the show on Saturday" she says, but suddenly an idea is springing to her mind and she turns to Matty.

"Would you do it? Just for now, we can change it when Jay's available if you'd prefer" she asks and Matty stands, walking to her side and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Anything for you love" he says making her smile and George wiggle his eyebrows at her. She shoves George lightly as Matty walks behind the microphone.

Matty begins singing the line in the harmony George suggested, G doesn't think it sounds right despite Matty attempting it a few times.

"George stop being nit picky, it sounds good" y/n says and George shakes his head.

"You're right, it does sound good, but it needs to be perfect" he explains and y/n nods. Matty and her watch as George pauses to think, they watch as he raises an eyebrow, an idea coming to mind.

"Y/n, stand next to Matty a second" she does as he says, Matty bumping his hip against hers when she's next to him.

"Okay, now... I need you to sing the main melody whilst Matty sings the lower harmony okay?" George asks and they both bod. He clicks play and they hear the track playing. George's phone starts ringing and he pauses the track, murmering an apology to the both of them.

"Its Charli..." matty nods and smiles.

"Don't worry, Ive got this" he says and George then leaves the room. He takes George's place at the soundboard for a second, clicking play on the track before making his way back to her.

Matty places his hand on her lower back, leaning forward, the both of them closer to the microphone now. He turns his head slightly, as does she, with the proximity she can see the details of his skin, she can see how pretty his eyes are and how his eyes glint when he smiles a genuine smile.

Her hair slips forward, the ends somehow managing to loop through the microphone holder, it happens too quickly for her to even stop it and when she tries to, she only makes it worse.

"Matty... I'm kind of stuck" there's a level of panic to her voice but also some amusement because only she could've got herself into this situation.

"You're so clumsy" he laughs, one of his hands slips his headphone over one ear, whilst the other comes to the ends of her hair, trying to set it free. When she winces his movements halt, eyes snapping to her eyes which are now watery.

"Shit okay..." he mumbles, his fingers moving slower now, gently untangling her strands from the microphone. His gentle movements have her teary eyes landing on his hands, the usual veins ever present, it has her heartbeat rising. Matty is a focused man so doesn't notice her stare, there's no tension, but she knew, one look from him and there would be. One particular movement has her swearing, all previous thoughts disappearing, replaced by pain. it was karma, she was convinced it was.

"Sorry love" he says, hands slowing, one more turn of his hand and she's free. She's slightly overwhelmed, a tad embarrassed and unbelievably guilty because she's been picturing those hands on other parts of her body ever since they made a move to help her escape.

"Thanks..." she mumbles awkwardly, they've missed their cue, but Matty makes no move to the sound desk, he doesn't pause the track as his hands find her face, thinking she's about to cry.

"Hey... you're fine" he says, her eyes finding his, they're all glassy due to the tears and he doesn't think she's ever looked prettier. That bottom lip of hers is jutted out slightly and its tempting... far too tempting.

"See" his hands move to her hair, wanting to make a joke, to break the tension, to sooth her, but when he tugs at the hair slightly, her breath hitches and he swears he hears her moan. But just as she does, the music picks up. He swears he hears it...

The part of the song has somehow looped back to the start and they notice, ignoring what just happened and getting ready to sing the song... like George had asked.

They hear their cue in the track and they begin singing their parts, this time it sounds perfect, their voices blending together perfectly, complimenting each other just right. Their eyes are caught up in each other, their brains working on their own accord, commanding their vocal chords to stretch just right so the correct note rings out, but they don't notice they're singing. All she notices is how Matty's eyes have little yellow flecks in them, and how his pale skin is littered with dark stubble. He notices how smooth her skin looks, how the colour was flawless, darker under her cheekbones and redder on her cheeks, perfect, almost like a sculpture.

"Perfect!" George says, clapping his hands together, smiling widely. They're disturbed from their thoughts at that, finally moving a step back. They didn't even hear him come back into the room.

"You look very pretty" Matty mumbes. She feels herself blush, she feels how her heart skips a beat. And she doesn't like it. She's reminded of Ross, she remembers the way he said the same words to her and how her cheeks heated up far quicker and far warmer, she remembers the way her stomach did front flips and backflips at the compliment and how her hairs stood on end. But she couldn't deny the effect Matty's words had on her either.

She couldn't like them both. She couldn't. Could she?

She said to Ross she was 'figuring it out'

His thumb finds her cheek, swiping against it. "Eyelash" he explains. Her stomach buzzes, the hairs on her arms stand on end and her breathing falters.

Yes. She definitely could like them both.

At least she figured it out.

Matty's hand drops from her cheek, and he frowns, she doesn't know why. It hurts her when he takes a step back, distancing himself from her.

Matty's stomach flips, guilt hitting him right in the chest. He said he would stop this, but it was one of the hardest things he had ever done.

Ross, think of Ross he thinks, your best friend.

© all lyrics are written and owned by yours truly (let's ignore the fact they're not that good but yeah) no stealing hehe

(9) Our Secret

[conanthemindbreaker]

Content Warnings

Now, as expected of an evil hypnotist such as myself, I have some very hard kinks that I express on this blog in both my art and that which I reblog from others. Despite my sinister nature, the last thing I want is for someone to peruse my blog and come across something that triggers them or makes them upset. Kink is supposed to be fun and being reminded of a traumatic experience or coming across something that makes you upset due to lack of content warnings is not fun. I consider it my responsibility to curate my blog in a way where it can be enjoyed by all who desire to. As such I have a system of tags that cover commonly upsetting areas in kink and use them for all posts that appear on my blog, whether they were created by me or not. I will do my best to tag each post properly but it is likely I will slip up here or there and I kindly ask that if you see me reblog or post something that should be tagged, please do not hesitate to reach out and tell me, I won't get upset with you and I'll be grateful for your assistance. Also if you think of any common triggering things that I have overlooked, feel free to suggest a new tag for me to add.

cw noncon, cw cnc, cw gaslighting, cw kidnapping, cw drone, cw sadomasochism, cw somno, cw humiliation, cw degradation, cw memory play, cw permanent

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And now that you've blocked whichever tags needed to be blocked for your needs... that means you have nothing to fear as you scroll through here... right? You're safe from anything that could do you any harm, so it's perfectly okay to lie back and relax as you indulge yourself in this space. You don't need to be so tense, you can let your defenses down for now, you won't need them here now that the danger's gone. Isn't it so nice that you don't have to fret about anything while you're here? Aren't I such a kind and considerate guy? To so graciously shield you from that which brings you sorrow. I'm not one for modesty, I can admit that it's so nice of me to make sure you don't have to fear anything as you read my words, knowing that you can trust me and trust my words as you absorb them into your happy head. Because you have nothing to fear here... right~?

[sowhumpful]

Hey there!

Welcome on my blog! I've been around for a while but never took time to make a proper presentation post! As you can see it's a whump blog so if you don't enjoy such thing, you're free to go elsewhere! I want this place to be a safe for everyone.

So yeah, warning; there might be blood, violence, helpless men, angst, tied up and kidnapped guys and so on. Sometimes NSFW. I try to tag as best as I can, especially the gifs I create. I may be a bit lazy with reblogs. If some tags are missing, don't hesitate to tell me, and I'll be happy to add them. You can call me Y. My first langage is french so if there are some mistakes or errors please don't be harsh!

I've been enjoying whump for a long time, I can't even pin point when exactly! I discovered the word ''whump'' here on tumblr and I was sooo happy to realize that I wasn't the only one to get butterflies when a character would get hurt in some kind of way! Since then, I come here almost everyday to get my fix of whump! I love gifs and the fanfics you can find on different platforms such as here, AO3 and fanfiction.net. I also enjoy original stories, people are so damn creative and their writings are exquisite!

I create gifs from different shows and movies I really loved.

My favorite tropes (in no specific order): -Kidnapping -Restraints (rope, chains, handcuffs, zip tie, collar, etc.) -Defiant whumpee -Sadistic whumper -Blood/gore -Captivity -Pet whump -A bit of BBU -Gags/muzzle -Hostage -Held at gunpoint or knifepoint -Prisoner -Slavery -Torture -Interrogation -Collapsing -Drugged -Male whumpee -Male whumper -Female whumper

With moderation: -Noncon

Not really my jam: -Non human whumpee/whumper -Manga

An absolute no: -Minor

There you go, now you know me a little better! I wish you all a marvellous day!

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 4

Series Summary: There are moments in our lives that have a major impact. The interactions, the adventures, and the love, all make up who we are. But when Harry can't remember those moments with YN, they are both left wondering what that means for themselves and their relationship.

Chapter Summary: So, the kiss... now what? That's all I have to say. And... I love you all.

~~~~~

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language and a lot of angst

~~~~~

You wake up unable to determine what feels stronger to you- the throbbing ache in your head as it punishes you for the night before, or the giddiness from the kiss you shared with Harry at the end of the night.

Remembering the touch of his hand on your waist and his soft lips on yours, you roll your way out of bed, and slowly stand up to minimize the effects of the headache.

This time, you are not afraid and do not hesitate to open your bedroom door. In fact, you're so excited and anxious that you need to do what you can to calm your racing heart before you exit the room. The last thing you want to do is make things awkward again.

There's no noise in the apartment, and you assume Harry is still asleep. You'd give anything to crawl into bed with him, nuzzle into his neck, and just lay there all day as the sun moves across the sky. But, you know you need to take it one step at a time, and that kiss may help to finally move things forward.

You walk into the kitchen to get some coffee started and notice something on the counter. You walk closer and there, sitting under two ibuprofen and a glass of water, is a note that simply reads:

"Good morning!

I have plans with Jonny.

I'll see ya later.

Have a good day. - Harry"

It's not exactly how you were hoping to spend the morning, although the pounding on your brain isn't how you wanted it to go either, and at least it didn't start off the same as yesterday. The fact that he wrote you a note and was thinking about taking care of you a little is something that creates a swarm of butterflies to arrive and make a home inside of your chest. It feels good. It feels right.

You have a feeling this is going to be a good day.

•••

You walk around BarCode with a smile on your face, unable to hide from beaming your happiness everywhere. If it were a paint, it would cover every wall in the bar a new bright color, probably infused with the sparkles that Steven so desperately wants to add around the place.

"Alright, honey, what's going on with you today?" Steven asks, an inquisitive expression all over his face.

"What do you mean?" You reply, trying your best to act as casual as possible, knowing that you are probably failing miserably at it since he felt the need to ask his question.

"You look like you are in some terribly cheesy rom-com movie, with a big dumb grin shining brightly, and a special effects shine coming from your teeth."

"That's an oddly specific description, Steven." You chuckle.

"I watched 'Sleepless in Seattle' last night, cheesy love has seeped into my brain." He shakes his head and points towards you. "Don't try to change the subject, girlie. What's going on?"

You shrug, and look down at the notes on your phone, hoping to keep your expressions subtle.

"Nothing is going on."

"That's absolute bullshit, YN!" He laughs out. "Tell me. Please. You know that I basically live off of juicy stories and gossip!"

You sigh, looking up to see Steven's expectant gaze, and you clear your throat.

"Alright."

"Yay!"

"Harry and I kissed last night." You admit, feeling a blush instantly rush to your cheeks as Steven's jaw drops completely open.

"Details! I need more details, now!" He squeals.

"It wasn't… a rom-com moment… we were at Sarah's, I had a decent amount to drink, I think we were flirting a bit-"

"Oooh, saucy."

"And he took care of me when we got back. Then, we kissed." You pause for a moment and hold up your index finger towards yourself. "Well, technically I kissed him first."

"And what did he do?" He asks, basically bouncing up and down at the anticipation of your answer.

"At first he just stared at me. I got so scared, I thought I fucked it all up. But then he pulled me in and kissed me again."

Steven squeals again and moves closer to grab both of your hands with his.

"Oh honey! This is exciting! A good step!"

"Yeah." You giggle, but you shake your head at an instant thought. "How stupid is it that I'm getting butterflies over a kiss with the guy I've been with for two and a half years?"

"Not stupid, honey." He squeezes your hands and looks you right in the eyes. "Not stupid, and you're allowed to be happy about it."

"I guess I'm just hesitant to be happy about it right now." You reply.

"Happy about what?" You hear, turning around to see Aman walking up to you with a box in his hands.

"Nothing." You quickly reply.

"Not nothing! Harry kissed her!" Steven blurts out, winking as you catch his glance.

"Wow. That's great, Didi. That definitely is something to be happy about." He smiles.

He puts the box on the countertop and begins to unload some barware.

"Let's… just focus on work stuff." You state, pulling your lips inward to hide the wide grin threatening to reappear.

"Boring." Steven groans.

"Anyway, the light fixtures should be coming today, so they can finally be installed. And those extra bar stools will be here Monday. Then…"

"Then…" Aman takes a deep breath as he looks around his new place. "Then we get the little details done before opening night."

"It's going to be amazing, Aman. I can't wait!"

"Do we get a free drink or two?" Steven asks, letting out a timid chuckle, which neither of you are actually falling for.

"Oh my god, Steven." You roll your eyes, giving him a bit of a frown as he shrugs.

Aman lets out a big laugh. "Of course! For making this place look as amazing as it does… you can definitely have two free drinks!"

"And what about some of that delicious food?"

"Steven!" You shout.

"I had to try." He smirks.

"Speaking of food, I haven't eaten today. I could use a little lunch break." You state as you feel your stomach begin to growl.

"I could go for something." Aman states.

"Steven?"

"Should I get sandwiches?" He giggles.

"No." You reply, hands on your hips, knowing his true intentions are to chat with the cute manager who works there, which would translate into you waiting even longer for your meal. "I'll get the food."

"How about Tasty Pala-?" Aman begins to ask.

"Oh. No, Aman, YN doesn't-"

"It's okay, Steven. It actually sounds really good today." You explain, feeling as if your heart might finally be beginning to heal, even if it's just the slightest amount.

Steven's eyes widen at your statement, but they quickly soften to join his growing smile. It even looks as if he could begin to get teary-eyed.

"Here." You hand your phone over to him. "Each of you look at the menu and let me know what you want. I'll call it in."

•••

The smile you've had since this morning remains plastered all over your face. The kiss last night ignited the hope that you had been trying to squander. So as you walk to your favorite restaurant to pick up some lunch, the restaurant you've been avoiding because of that one horrible night, you allow yourself to feel something again. You allow yourself to feel happy.

As you open the door, comfort overwhelms you from the nostalgic smell.

"Hi, I have a takeout order for YN." You state to the front host.

He looks down at his computer, tapping a few buttons before nodding your way.

"Yes, Miss YN, they just finished that up. I will grab it for you right now!" He smiles and turns around to head to the kitchen.

You move to the side, making sure not to be in the way, and text Steven that you'll be on your way back very soon.

Something grabs your attention. Your ears perk up, causing you to turn your head and search the dining area for the source.

Then you find it, just through a table full of people getting up to leave. It is Harry's laugh that caught your attention and you smile as you barely make out his figure sitting at a table across from Jonny. You wonder if you should walk over there, and decide there's no harm in saying a quick hello. Being near Harry is never a bad thing. You aren't able to see the other friend they are with and begin to take a step towards them, until the other group moves out of the way, and your smile immediately drops, following the color draining from your face.

It's Tabitha.

Harry is sitting next to Tabitha. Tabitha. It's Tabitha. Her name keeps repeating itself in your mind as you body freezes and you try to process what you see in front of you. It's Tabitha. Harry is sitting next to Tabitha.

A tightness in your chest arrives as your eyes take in the sight of his arm resting around her shoulders, speaking words that cause her to giggle. But the thing that hurts the most is the way he is looking at her. He used to look at you that way. He used to cause a flutter in your heart, a giggle to leave your own lips, and a blush on your cheeks simply by the adoring gaze that he is giving her now.

First you hear it. Then you feel it.

You scan the restaurant, knowing full well that you are the only one to notice.

It's the sound and feeling of your heart being shattered.

It's gone. Broken into a million pieces by the sight of the man you love, the man you let claim it, swooning over his ex-girlfriend. Potentially hoping to claim her own heart, again.

"YN?"

You wince as your name is called, wishing with everything you have that the host had a much quieter voice.

"I have an order for YN!"

Right as you look up to grab your order, your eyes instinctually travel over to that damn table, and catch Harry's gaze.

If the floor could open up and swallow you whole, you would gladly accept that fate at this moment.

Harry's eyes go wide, and his arm instantly drops from around Tabitha's shoulders, but that is all you can see as the tears begin to gather at the corners of your eyes.

"Yes." You clear your throat. "Here."

You use all the speed you have within to grab your bag of food, turn around, and rush out the front door of the restaurant as quickly as possible.

You are so grateful that the bar is only two short blocks away, and that you don't have to try to drive through your blurred vision.

Grabbing the handle, you swing the front door open and stumble into the bar, catching the attention of both Steven and Aman.

Feet taking only a few steps inside, your heart starts racing and your lungs begin to lose their ability to take in a deep breath. You are panicking.

"Didi, are you alright?"

You look up and barely make out their concerned expressions as you try desperately to steady yourself.

"Oh my god, YN! What happened?"

You instantly drop to your knees, releasing the bag of food onto the floor as your tear soaked face falls into your hands.

Both men rush to your side and kneel down on the floor next to you. Steven grabs the hand closest to him and Aman begins to run his palm up and down your back.

"YN, we are here. We're right here."

"Honey." Steven states softly. "YN? What happened?"

All you can manage is to shake your head and let out a loud cry, bending at the waist as your body curls down towards the floor.

"Please, honey, tell us what happened." The panic in Steven's voice is the only thing to bring you slightly out of your devastated state, his need for an answer being your driving force to muster up the strength to give him one.

"I…" You take in a shaky breath. "Saw… Harry…"

"Okay…" Aman asks, with so much confusion in his tone.

"With… Tabitha!" You cry out, tears flowing like a river and the hollowness of your inner chest becoming even more apparent.

"Who is Tabitha?" Aman asks.

"Harry's ex." Steven whispers to him in reply, as the memory of that recent sight causes you to almost scream out your cry.

"Oh no. Didi…"

You can't seem to take a deep breath, and the pace only begins to pick up.

"I'm gonna call Adhira." He exclaims, swiftly standing up to get his phone and dial your best friend's number.

As you barely hear the words Aman is saying to his sister, you feel Steven begin pulling you into his chest and you rest your head there, unapologetically soaking his shirt with your tears.

•••

You aren't able to gauge time, but you feel as if it doesn't take long for Adhira to be by your side. You are trapped in a daze, not being able to hear anyone speak or reply with any words yourself. All you know is that Adhira has taken you back to your apartment and the couch is where you both sit now.

"YN. Didi, I'm here. I'm here."

You curl into her body, and she is now the one getting her shirt soaked with your tears. Surprisingly, you still have more. And more. And they can't seem to stop.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks, a soft but concerned tone thick in her question. You manage only a shrug and she squeezes you tighter. "Can you tell me… what exactly did you see?"

You take a few labored breaths and sit up, still close enough that her arm is on your back. You need constant physical comfort at this point, or you feel as if you might actually disappear into thin air.

"Harry… and Tabitha…" You whimper sadly as you try to force out more words, the gut-wrenching memory keeping most of them stuck in your throat. "He… he had his arm… around her…"

More tears fall, endless tears, tracking down your cheeks yet again, possibly burning permanent marks in your skin.

"I think… I think he was… about to… k-"

Your heart races, almost questioning what you saw, because it just didn't seem as if it could be true.

"K-kiss her. I think he was… about to kiss her."

You knew things were different between you two, different and complicated, but your heart wanted to believe that it wouldn't end up like this. Even with your suppressed hope, you definitely never thought it would end up like… this.

"Where did you see this?"

That might be the final twist of the knife in your heart.

"Tasty Palace."

"Oh my god." She replies, her soft tone replaced by a harsher growl.

"Addy… I think…" You mutter, almost afraid to let the rest of the words leave your lips. "I think he… he wants… her."

Silence. You both sit in silence. You don't want to say out loud what wanting her means for you. If you say it out loud, it might completely disintegrate the pieces of your already broken heart.

"What do I do?." You whisper, leaning back down and curling into her body once again. You don't feel better but at least you don't feel like you'll totally fall apart.

She squeezes you further into her, and you feel her chest begin to rise and fall at a more rapid pace, almost matching your own.

"Addy… what do I do?" You ask again.

She sighs.

"I'm so sorry, Didi. I don't know."

"I don't either."

You lift your legs up onto the couch, laying flat with your head in her lap. The tears finally subside, but your eyelids feel heavy, and your mind wants to escape the pain you feel through your entire core.

•••

Jingling of keys and the front door pulling open are what jolt you awake from whatever sleep cycle you have been in. You open your eyes and quickly let out a yawn.

"Hey." Adhira whispers, coming back to where you lay and kneeling down in front of the couch.

"I'm gonna get some dinner and a few extra things. I'll be back soon. You get some more rest."

She strokes your hair as you nod, closing your eyes again and you hear the front door close.

But now you're awake and are unable to tame the thoughts and memories of the day that begin to creep their way back in.

You sit up and run your hands down your face, bringing them in front of you to see the streaks of makeup that have covered your face.

You rise up off of the couch and decide that a shower is the next best thing for you to do.

You stand there in the shower, and desperately wish you could also wash away the events of the day. As the water continues to run down over you, anger begins to boil up inside. You've never felt so hurt, or so dumb. You should have kept your guard up this week. You should have stifled the hope that you had this morning. You should have never kissed him last night.

You never should have gone on the date to Tasty Palace in the first place, because you never would have been hit by that drunk driver, and none of this would have ever happened.

That accident didn't just take away Harry's memories, it has taken away your life. Everything you have known for the past two and a half years, everything you've known and had with Harry, is gone. Harry, you're Harry, is gone.

Just like you did in the rain, you let the tears fall under the camouflage of the shower water. Not that anyone else can see them, but at least you can trick yourself into believing that you'll be done crying after they've all circled down the drain.

The water begins to cool down, so you take that as the cue to exit the shower. You dry yourself off and put on the clothes you brought in with you, feeling a little better now that you've freshened up, at least physically.

You hear Adhira in the kitchen and are grateful that food has arrived. You haven't eaten all day, which was the point of your trip to Tasty Palace, and definitely didn't have a desire to consume anything once you got home. But now you are definitely ready to fill your stomach, using it as some kind of comfort. At least you can relieve that specific kind of aching.

"Addy, I don't know what you got but I can't smell it. I don't know if I should be impressed or concerned by that." You manage the smallest chuckle.

You walk out of your bedroom and turn to make your way back to the couch but stop in your tracks as your heart holds its beating.

"What the-"

"YN." Harry whispers, slowly lifting his head out of his hands and resting his elbows on his knees.

"What are you-"

"I came here first, but… you weren't here. And then… then I found the bar. But they only told me to fuck off. I just… I…"

You instantly furrow your brow and wrap your arms tightly around your body, unsure if you are keeping yourself from shaking or fully exploding.

"Harry… what's… what's going on? Are you… dating her?"

"No." Harry shakes his head. "No, I… no, we've just been hanging out."

"Hanging out? For how long?"

He sighs, and the sound tightens your chest. You realize it is the same sigh you heard last night as he left your room.

"A few times this week."

You try to process his words and think back on the week. How did you not know? You were at work and he didn't have that many plans while you were gone. But that's when it hits you.

"When you told me… you were with your college friends?"

"I was with them. I was. But… yes, she was… she was there too."

"Was… was she with you on Monday?"

"Umm… yeah."

If you had called out to him when you saw the group walk past the bar, you would have seen it. You would have known. You wouldn't have gone through this past week thinking things were changing for the better. You definitely wouldn't have kissed him.

"Why? Why were you with her?"

"I just… she's, like, familiar…"

"Right. And I'm not." You nod. Clenching your jaw and tightening your hands. "I'm so fucking stupid!"

"No, you're not stupid…"

"Yes, I am. I thought… this week has been so nice. I thought things were… getting better. I thought something was happening between us. Again."

"YN, I-"

"And we kissed last night Harry!" You shout, unable to hold back the rising desire to expel all the hurt and anger you're holding in. "I know I was drunk but… you kissed me back! Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to." If you weren't immersed in heartbreak and an argument, your heart would have leapt out of your chest at that confession. Now it just hurts you even more. "I'm just… fuck… I'm just so confused."

"That might be the worst part." You whisper, feeling a tear freely make its way out of the corner of your eye, followed by another, and another.

"Please, YN… this is so difficult for me."

"And I know that. But this is difficult for me too! Do you think it's been easy for me to not even be remembered by the guy I'm in love with? Do you think it's easy to just wait and hope that one day you'll get all of your memories back and we can pick up where we left off? Do you think it's easy for me, now, to know that while I've been patient and trying to do everything I can for you, that you've been choosing to just live in your past and find comfort in… in Tabitha?"

"M'sorry, YN. I never meant to hurt you."

Your eyes squeeze shut and you curl down a bit, feeling your body's desire to wrap itself into a ball on the floor and hide from the pain.

"I... I can't do this." You whimper.

"Do what?"

"Be on standby, Harry. I can't wait around and watch you with her like that. Like… like she's everything you want."

"YN, I don't… I don't know what I want…"

"You're supposed to want me!" You shout, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel the last piece of your heart crack and fall. "But I can't convince you to want me, to love me. I've been waiting, but it's not gonna happen, is it?"

"I don't… I don't know."

Suddenly, the front door swings open and you turn to see Adhira walk through the threshold with bags in hand and a shocked expression plastered all over her face.

"You should leave." You utter, doing what you can to keep from falling to your knees. At least your best friend is here to pick you up if you do.

"YN…" He whispers, taking a step towards you, or you are hoping it's towards the door.

"Please leave." You plead, looking at Adhira and turning to walk to the bedroom.

"YN…"

"Leave!" You shout, as you walk through the door frame. But as you move to close the door, you stop when you hear Harry begin to speak.

"Adhira-"

"Harry. Just… stop." She sighs. "I think you should go to your mom's."

"Okay." He scoffs, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Can you tell her that I'll be back… tomorrow?"

"No, Harry. I think you should stay with your mom." She states sternly. "Pack some bags, stay with your mom, and decide what it is that you really want."

His eyes grow wide at your suggestion, and through your blurry vision plus the slim crack of the door, you can just see his hand running through his hair.

"No. C'mon... I can try… I can try to figure this out."

You blink, releasing an abundance of tears, free to run wildly down your cheeks and see the piercing gaze he is giving her.

"And you need to. But I don't think you can do that here. And I don't think you should do that with her… to her." She replies, pointing in the direction of your bedroom. "You can't keep towing YN along, Harry, while you decide whether or not you want her. Can you see how unfair that is? It's selfish of you, honestly."

"What? Selfish?"

"Yeah, selfish. She's given you everything! You two built a beautiful life together and you're just trekking backwards to the bitch who broke your heart. You won't even give YN a chance!"

"No, Tabitha didn-... I just… this is so fucked up."

"You're right about that." She crosses her arms and stares into Harry's eyes.

"Okay." He lets out a huge sigh and turns his gaze to your door. "I'll go."

Your breath becomes shallow, knowing what's coming, knowing he's about to walk out. You never thought this would happen. You never thought you'd have to ask Harry to leave, to stay away… to figure out whether or not he loves you, whether he can love you again.

You never thought Harry would break your heart.

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Series Masterlist

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