#if youre incapable of leaving a comment to ask how can I assume good faith collecting and not hiding fics

[silver-colour]

This is your reminder that you should not add someone's fic to your collection unless you have ✨their permission ✨

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

jester began falling in love with caleb in episode 103.

not any earlier in my opinion, and not later, either.

there's two elements to why i believe e103 is the turning point.

(1) the first is caleb's actions and jester's responses to them during the night they all sleep by the waterfall—his support of her idea to sleep underwater, his conversation with her after her commune with artagan, and his casting of programmed illusion in the dome.

(2) the second is the way her behavior toward caleb pivots around e103. before e103 is a noticeably different beast to how she begins to treat him after e103—the attention she pays him, her efforts to hold more standout interactions with him, and a dramatic swell of emotion and thematic meaning in these scenes’ respective subtext.

the rumblecusp arc is the point in which jester’s character growth, and caleb’s efforts to unconditionally support her, really begin to shine. throughout the complex growing pains that jester and artagan's relationship was experiencing, the one person who truly takes a moment to offer her support without any agenda or judgment is caleb.

(e103, 1:22:55, bold mine)

CALEB: You okay over there?

JESTER: (tearful) Yeah, I'm fine. Just—I'm just drawing.

CALEB: Maybe didn't go as well as you were hoping?

JESTER: Um... In some ways it went better. But no.

CALEB: I can't speak for him. But you do have us.

JESTER: I know.

CALEB: So whatever you land on, Jester, we'll make it happen.

JESTER: (shaky laugh) I have to figure out what I want to land on.

CALEB: That is the, uh—sticky wicket, isn't it?

JESTER: Yeah. Everything's confusing.

CALEB: Maybe... Maybe we sleep on it, it'll make more sense in the morning.

JESTER: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Caleb.

CALEB: I didn't do anything.

jester confesses that her commune with artagan didn’t provide the answers she was hoping for—that he knew about the curse on the island—and caleb doesn’t remark on what that seems like. he deliberately avoids speculating on why artagan is doing these things because “he can’t speak for him.” he doesn’t assume anything about what she might choose to do and explicitly leaves that choice up to her. jester vents briefly about how difficult the choice is, and caleb offers her reassurance, a reminder that some time will make things clearer. he doesn’t suggest solutions.

unlike fjord or beau, caleb doesn’t ask her to voice outright whether artagan is being a good friend. he doesn’t continually question his character and imply any personal opinions to her or what he thinks she should do. instead, he asks whether she’s okay. he listens. and he offers unconditional support.

this is consistently the stance caleb takes in the rumblecusp arc. and it’s not discussed much, i think, exactly how monumental that was to jester.

(hold on, this is a long one.)

jester is a young woman who grew up sheltered and wants to define herself outside of that shelter. for her, this campaign has essentially been a coming-of-age journey (talks for e76-77, 14:12). she is deeply sensitive to whether or not she’s respected because she’s aware of how her personality and general lack of experience makes others think she’s naive, immature, or incapable (talks for e79, 31:51).

it’s also incredibly evident that her relationship with artagan is unique. in e105 (1:15:01), jester tells the m9, “he really got me through a lot when i was younger, you know? and he was all i had, really.” he was her best friend from childhood in a home where she spent most of her time hidden in a single room. when she was younger, the few times she left the chateau, she was bullied by other girls (e110, 3:34:59). her best friend, though? her best friend was a god. a god with an incredible sense of humor, an aggrandizing attitude, and adoring respect for a young girl in a difficult situation who had as wonderful a personality as him. in every way that matters, artagan’s friendship undoubtedly saved jester’s life.

and she is so, so aware of this. she cares for him deeply, trusts him unconditionally, and is determined to be there for the one person who had been there for her when no one else was, not even her mother.

the renegotiation of this friendship after artagan revealed his full identity was clearly extraordinarily difficult for jester. she was having to reevaluate her entire relationship with the being that pulled her through a childhood of isolation and misery, question his intentions with her and whether they could even remain friends at all. and this was amidst her arrival at a dangerous island with her other friends to help him clean up his mistakes.

asking her to make a judgment on artagan before she’s ready to do it on her own, while managing some high expectations at the same time—not only is it a lot of pressure, it’s frustrating and painful. jester did not want to judge artagan without giving him his fair due and a proper conversation. knowing that her new friends dislike her old friend, besides being hurt by it, distracted her. she had to both defend him outwardly and interrogate him internally. and if she tried to explain how important artagan is to her, a lot of vulnerability would’ve been necessary when she was trying to be a leader and seem competent and capable, instead of a child who needs patronizing guidance.

this latter point is exceptional. because jester lavorre is so vulnerable when it comes to how much she thinks her loved ones respect her and consider her a valuable, equal, and trustworthy individual. and it’s difficult to feel like you’re being valued and trusted when people are repeatedly questioning you about a person and a relationship that they don’t understand in a way that, despite genuine concern, comes across as them doubting your own judgment of one of the most intimate parts of your life.

in this precise moment in e103, caleb is the only person who acknowledges—to her in person, even—that he doesn't have any place in judging her relationship with artagan. that it’s not what she needs from him or anyone else. that he’s content waiting for her to reach a decision. that he will respect that decision.

and jester can believe him. caleb’s done nothing but remain consistent on this stance. he repeatedly supports her choices to run travelercon, trust artagan, and come to his aid.

when other party members question artagan's legitimacy, caleb is the one who almost always speaks up to support jester (some examples: e61, 30:43 / e77, 49:17 / e95, 1:09:17 and 1:15:24).

he actively and enthusiastically offers his magical talents to her to provide for the event preparations. he has a whole conversation with her in e91 (beginning 1:53:41) where he expresses his immense respect for her and her personality, explicitly validates her faith in artagan, and shows her a tangible example of how he wants to help her during the upcoming travelercon. when she suggests some ideas, despite their arguable silliness, caleb takes them at face value and openly admits his lack of expertise in this area (e91, 1:58:35).

when they first arrive at rumblecusp, he directly reassures jester about the ‘travelercon 3000’ banner she leaves on the wrong beach by mentioning that he can make her a new banner (e101, 48:18). once preparations begin in earnest, caleb expends spells very freely, including ones of higher-level, to produce whatever jester requests.

in e103, he hears out her idea of sleeping underwater and gives it equal consideration in spite of other party members trying to shoot it down. the first time she suggests it (36:23), caduceus comments against it and no other party member acknowledges her except for caleb, who agrees with her quietly while the others move on. the second time jester suggests it (46:08), veth comments against it and caleb steps in to openly agree that it’s a good idea, even after fjord and beau join veth in being dubious.

compare these active, consistent moments of support and validation from caleb to similarly active and consistent examples of the other attitudes that manifest during the rumblecusp arc, in contradiction to people’s apparent claims of trust (one such claim of trust: e95, 1:00:21).

plainly insulting artagan to jester as if it’s a given, such as fjord’s “he’s generally full of shit, right?” (e107, 49:42);

fjord, beau, and caduceus’s conversation about “not ruining jester’s big day,” yet distrusting artagan to the extent of planning to keep her from being alone with him, preparing to attack him should he try to sacrifice 200 people for some speculated unknown ritual and/or hurt jester, and discussing all of this behind jester’s back (e108, beginning 15:41);

caduceus’s said shift to distrust of artagan because of a semi-disturbing conversation that jester was equally a part of (e107, beginning 20:40);

and the discussion right before jester’s commune with artagan where beau questions if artagan sent them to rumblecusp knowing of the memory problems, without regard for their well-being (e103, 29:40).

the unfortunate assumption being made by these party members’ repeated questioning and protectiveness of jester is that she cannot be trusted to have good judgment. despite their familiarity with some of the context of her relationship with artagan (especially after e105), they disregard her repeatedly-expressed support of him. they indirectly disrespect her ability to judge for herself whether someone is dangerous to her or her friends. they don’t acknowledge jester’s own role in creating dubious situations and instead direct all their negative feelings and sense of fault to artagan, minimizing her agency.

the e108 conversation is a dense microcosm of how the party perpetrates these assumptions throughout the rumblecusp arc as a whole. without qualm, they discuss deliberately controlling jester’s time with artagan to ‘protect’ her and their willingness to kill the evil image they’ve constructed of him, and dodge jester directly asking them what they’re talking about—even though it is a known given that the m9 would defend her with their lives with or without any prior discussion. the purpose of holding this conversation isn’t to make sure that jester is safe. like caduceus near-explicitly says, it’s to “feel better knowing” that “anybody else was on board with this” (20:26 and 18:57)—to validate their unacknowledged distrust of jester’s judgment with each other, behind her back.

and as laura has said: jester, with her very high wisdom, tends to know what’s going on even if she acts like she doesn’t (talks for e79, 32:39).

in e103, when jester is crying because she’s found out that artagan did know about the island’s memory problems, caleb doesn’t show any sign of taking this as proof of artagan's ill intent. what he does instead: he offers compassion for her pain with zero judgment. he promises to support her, no matter what she ultimately decides to make of this information. these are offers of safety and trust, ones that jester desperately needed.

then—caleb creates a programmed illusion of the m9’s lives. and it’s beautiful.

in comparison to all the analysis prior, this moment is straightforward. jester is an artist. she paints, draws, and creates, and she loves doing it. moreover, she loves making art for other people. though she doesn’t get many chances to do so, the mural of a flowery meadow that she paints for yasha’s room in the xhorhaus is a perfect example. similarly, she enjoys the art she makes when defacing other people’s property—altered signage or statue of the platinum dragon painted in rainbow—in part because they’re gifts to the traveler. she loves making those she loves happy.

happiness and love to jester is overwhelmingly about emotional intimacy. i’ve talked about this to some degree in a previous post about jester’s jealousy. please refer there for in-depth explanation. in brief, though, she puts value on how deeply she knows a person; how often she’s been able to be there for them. this is the love she learned from her mother and from artagan, and how she continues to love once she’s older.

caleb’s arcane rendition of the m9′s lives floating around the inside of the dome is a display of exactly this kind of love. not only is it art crafted from his magic and imagination and love—it’s blatant evidence of how much he cares for every member of the party and where they’ve come from. he remembers their stories and hangs them in the air in hopes that it’ll help them resist the memory erasing. he moves the memory of yasha and zuala in a meadow over to yasha’s pillow-side so she can watch it until she falls asleep. he creates a memory for vilya of her, her husband, and her daughter, listening to and respecting the emotional gravity of what she’s confiding in them.

only a few minutes after jester’s disappointing commune with artagan and her conversation with caleb, she walks into the dome and sees this art. she laughs and stares in wonder at all the memories (e103, 1:46:08). when beau points out the humorous memories of fjord being attacked by turtles so they can all laugh, she tells caleb with equal awe and joy, “wow. this is amazing, caleb” (e103, 1:47:04).

...of course, as lovely and meaningful as these back-to-back moments were for jester, it's not quite evidence of her starting to fall in love with caleb around this time.

that’s where the following episodes come in.

[id: three screenshots of messages sent in a discord channel by the user “prim” (the op). all are timestamped to friday, august 28, 2020, the day after the live premiere of e107. the first has an additional timestamp of 12:53 PM, the second 1:03 PM, and the third 1:30 PM. they read:

honest to god though i don't know if it's just the shipper brain that is making me think laura is trying to roleplay jester beginning to reciprocate caleb's feelings [...]

like........ the golden dick hunt teasing is definitely on par with jester's past shenanigans, but the compliments have been Catching My Attention bc it's honestly not normal for jester to compliment caleb of her own volition like that, just as a one-on-one "i appreciate you" reassurance

and i'm thinking less about the spells from last night's episode (although how much jester was emphasizing the compliments made me go "awwwww") and more of the moments like jester telling caleb "that was impressive" after getting cad out of the tunnel with beau's help

but laura is absolutely a shipping troll with jester this campaign so i'm here like "I'M MAYBE 80% SURE I'M BEING FUCKED WITH BUT IT MAYBE HOLDS UP????" [...]

basically laura keeps doing things that make the alarm in my brain go off and i don't know if i'm picking up something legit or if i'm projecting my hopes, like the recent pattern of compliments from jester LOL

/end id.]

i’m not going to lie, if i try to list every single receipt like i otherwise prefer to do in these metas, i think we (and especially i) would all lose our minds. so while i’m about to provide a lot of citations, they genuinely are just a few possible examples that will mostly be within the dozen episodes after e103.

the more important detail that can be observed from this is that e103 is a turning point.

prior to e103, jester does not particularly go out of her way to interact with caleb. by and large, most of their direct interactions are either initiated by caleb or prompted by the context of a general party conversation. the majority of other moments that could be referred to as ‘widojest’ are of caleb’s evident feelings. beyond early campaign days, jester rarely teases caleb about sexual topics while insinuating things about her own sexual life at the same time.

after e103, laura and jester begin to go out of their way to interact with and intertwine jester’s time with caleb.

the rate of jester’s compliments and enthusiastic gratitude to caleb skyrocket (some examples: e104, 30:36 / e107, 16:49 and 1:11:28 and 1:12:15 and 3:10:39 / e110, 15:58 and 3:37:24 / e111, 36:15 and 38:41 and 50:58);

several mature jokes/flirtations she makes involve both caleb and herself (examples: e107, 1:16:17 / e110, 1:18:07 / e115, 1:52:53);

she deliberately and specifically engages caleb in full-blown interactions, such as the conversations during the tour of her childhood bedroom (e110, beginning 1:11:38), hanging out with him on the icebreaker ship (e112, beginning 3:45:29), and the reading of der katzenprinz (e115, beginning 1:52:43);

as well as the expansion of more extended ‘conversations’ like their motif of dancing (e108, 13:39 / e109, 2:54:14), their parental relationships (e110, 20:44 and 3:38:41 / e115′s der katzenprinz / e121, beginning 1:52:12), and polymorph shenanigans (examples: e107, beginning 2:58:41 / e117, beginning 1:13:55 / e118, 43:57).

thrown in are additional background details that further tie jester to caleb, such as her determination to recover caleb’s amulet after their defeat of vokodo (e106, 25:33), the knowing comments on his purchasing of paper (e109, 22:32 / e111, 1:25:49), her deliberate choice to ride whaleb during the avantika chase (e113, 2:32:28), her retrieval of caleb’s coat when he’s attempting to remove the necromantic emerald (e115, 1:30:56), and her deliberate reference to der katzenprinz to iver (e120, 3:05:14);

and simply everything about the tower. it’s another example of the art and creativity caleb produces with his magic to make his loved ones happy, which jester acknowledges at least twice (refer to the e111 compliments). contrarily, jester also makes note of the signs that this tower shows less love to caleb than she thinks he deserves, in keeping with her value of emotional intimacy (e115’s der katzenprinz / e122’s floor 8, room 1).

the reading of der katzenprinz in e115 is arguably the pinnacle of these examples. it’s intentionally initiated by jester. she both takes the step to visit caleb's room and indirectly requests him to read the story to her. laura’s implication that she remembered this subplot because of beau’s reading of a very romantic letter from yasha is particularly suggestive. the story itself incorporates many similar characters and themes that are present in jester’s backstory: the lonely, sheltered boy and his single working mom as jester and marion; the dubious cat prince who ultimately gives the boy freedom and confidence as artagan; and the deep love between the boy and his mother because of how they only have each other, which compels a powerful being to have compassion and thus set the boy free so that they can be together. very similar to both jester’s depth of relationship with her mother and her pleas on artagan’s behalf to the moonweaver’s celestial servant.

and the post-story conversation—caleb’s confiding of its importance to him because of his mother. jester’s open willingness to compare the cat prince to artagan, knowing that caleb respects their friendship and has treated artagan fairly. jester’s lingering, repeated looks toward caleb while smiling and holding her copy of der katzenprinz to her heart.

with all this dramatic expansion of the emotional and thematic intimacy between jester and caleb beginning to roll down the hill after e103—in brilliant contrast to their more muted, less reciprocal dynamic before this episode—e103 is more than likely the turning point of jester’s feelings. and based on the events and context, it was caused by the combined emotional appeal of caleb’s offer of unconditional support and his display of love for his family in the programmed illusion of memories.

[dwellordream]

“…When the two lovers meet after Parliament's decision, Criseyde offers Troilus the opportunity to "ravish her" as her uncle has suggested. She begs for his aid, crying "Help, Troilus!" (IV, 1150) and falling into a dead faint. For once, she wishes that another would take control and make decisions for her. Not realizing that Troilus has relapsed into an impotent, emasculated state, Criseyde expects him to interpret successfully her intent and to act boldly in order to rescue her from her terrible plight. Troilus, however, is no longer the valiant, empathetic young man transformed by Criseyde's love; consequently, he fails to play the role of the manly hero. He does not seize this moment to carry the maiden off; instead, he convinces himself that she has died and poetically beseeches the heavens to hasten his own demise (IV, 1191-1211).

His behavior contrasts greatly with Criseyde's when he had fainted. She roused herself to action, doing all in her power to revive her lover, who, like Criseyde in this later scene, seemed at the precipice of death. Criseyde begins to argue eloquently upon the advantages of biding her time behind enemy lines only after she awakes to discover that Troilus has not heeded her cry for help. A careful reader would recognize, how ever, that she still yearns for her lover to prevent the exchange, for she interrupts her own argument to assure Troilus "what so ye me comaunde,/ That wol I don, for that is no demaunde" (IV, 1294-95). In arguing in favor of removing to the Greek camp, Criseyde tests the extent of Troilus's affection. …Criseyde thought that surely a man willing to slay himself for her would be willing to risk ruining his reputation for her love, but Troilus finds himself incapable of performing such a heroic feat.

When Troilus fails to make even the slightest attempt to rescue his ill fated lover, Criseyde realizes that she must bring about her own salvation. As she spins out her plan, she gains more confidence in her abilities to effect her own rescue. Sheltered within the walls of Troy, Criseyde knows little of the true horrors of war, only what she has gleaned from gossip and from the books that she has read in her cloistered garden. Her overconfidence stems both from her ignorance concerning the actual situation facing her nation and from her earlier successes in effecting her will.

In contrast, Troilus has been out in the trenches, and he should recognize the implausibility of Criseyde's plan of action. His attempts to dissuade her, however, seem half-hearted at best. Indeed, he feels relieved that she seems to exonerate him from taking any rash action, for such a view accords with his own and enables him to rationalize his impotence as simply a chivalric attempt to uphold his lady's desire: This Troilus, with herte and erys spradde,/Herde al this thyng devysen to and fro,/And verrayliche him semed that he hadde The selve wit. . . (IV, 1422-25) Although Troilus finally does argue with Criseyde that they should elope (IV, 1503), he does so only to determine the extent of her loyalty, for he beseeches her "That of hire heste he myghte her trewe fynde" (IV, 1439).

For nine stanzas he dwells on his potential desolation should Criseyde forsake him and displays little concern as to whether she might suffer from the trade as well (IV, 1436-98). He does not want Criseyde to abandon her plans but only to assure him that she will remain stead fast in her love for the Trojan prince. Troilus now behaves like Percival's maid, arguing against his lover's bold plan only to make her more resolved to carry it out. He succeeds, for Criseyde dismisses his worries, assuring him that she can achieve all that she has set out to accomplish. Thinking of the state of her city that "hath now swich nede / Of help" (IV, 1558-59), she chides Troilus for wanting to abandon his home, reminding him that he plays a vital role in his city's defense.

Concern for his city, however, does not motivate Troilus in his insistence that he and Criseyde run off; rather, his hesitancy to allow her to leave stems from his hitherto unwarranted fear that Criseyde will prove untrue. After Criseyde's eloquent argument, which included an impassioned declaration that she would remain constant in her love (IV, 1527-54), Troilus still asks her to leave with him: "But for the love of God, if it be may,/So late us stelen priveliche away;/For evere in oon, as for to lyve in reste,/Myn herte seyth that it wol be the beste." (IV, 1600-1604)

After listening to this plea, Criseyde finally experiences an awakening, realizing that her lover does not hold the values that she herself cherishes. She recognizes his plea stems only from jealousy and not from any noble concern for her or for their country's grave situation. Sighing with exasperation, she once again defends herself against the charge of infidelity: "I se wel now that ye mystrusten me, For by youre wordes it is wel yseene./Now for the love of Cinthia the sheene, Mistrust me nought thus ca?seles, for routhe,/Syn to be trewe I have yow plight my trouthe." (IV, 1606-10)

Criseyde now recognizes that Troilus, who had shunned jealousy during his earlier blissful state (III, 1805-6), has relapsed into a suspicious suitor, one who holds little faith in his love's sincerity. He has forgotten that the last time he questioned Criseyde's trustworthiness he nearly lost her favor (III, 1054-85). Troilus's hypocrisy at Criseyde's departure serves only to alienate her further and to make her resolve to return to Troy begin to evaporate. The Trojan prince not only refuses to heed Pandarus's advice and openly declare his love; he also feigns joy at the arrival of Antenor (V, 77). Even if he believed that openly expressing his love for Criseyde would imperil her, he need not seem joyous concerning the exchange. Criseyde does not mask her emotions so easily but instead weeps piteously as Diomede leads her away (V, 82). She feels distraught not only because she must leave Troilus and Troy but also because she now recognizes that she has misread her lover's nature.

Troilus's behavior undercuts the narrator's contention that the young prince refuses to act only because he fears some harm may befall Criseyde: But why he nolde don so fel a dede,/That shal I seyn, and whi hym liste it spare:/He hadde in herte alweyes a manere drede/Lest that Criseyde, in rumour of this fare,/Sholde han ben slayn; lo, this was al his care./And ellis, certeyn, as I seyde yore,/He hadde it don, wi thou ten wordes more.(V, 50-56) These assurances concerning Troilus's desire to behave valiantly seem to reflect anxiety on the part of the narrator, who suspects, perhaps, that he recounts not the tale of a hero but of a coward.

W. A. Davenport believes Troilus's poetic apostrophes to his lost love as he waits for her in Troy indicate that the young prince's despair is primarily a pose. Troilus's letters also reveal that he continues to play a role. These solipsistic missives to Criseyde seal his fate, for they leave no question that Troilus remains a courtly lover. He does not consider the needs of his auditor, for instead of tender, solicitous queries concerning the hardships she must have endured, he stresses his own affliction. Cox comments that "Troilus sings of his woe with little regard for Criseyde, . . . and his letter, . . . full of fin’amors platitudes, blames her for going to the Greeks."

As in Book I, where he allowed his misery to paralyze him, Troilus has succeeded in making himself overwrought. It is as if the communion he experienced with Criseyde in Book III never occurred, for the Trojan prince once again acts like the lovelorn suitor of a lady he scarcely knows, whom he can address only in the most artificial, contrived manner. Troilus pens his letter ostensibly to convince Criseyde to return to Troy. Such a demand, however, is absurd, and he knows it. He, who remained completely passive while the Trojans forced his love to leave, now expects Criseyde to risk her life by rushing across the battlefield to return to him. Even if she succeeded in reaching Troy, Troilus knows his father would send her back to the Greeks.

Troilus does not really expect Criseyde to reunite with him; rather, he expects her to behave like a proper lady and die for her love. One can speculate that he wants her to act like the nondescript tragic heroines in the Legend of Good Women, to pine away like Ariadne or to commit suicide like Dido. Such behavior would prove a fitting end for the object of Troilus's desire, enabling him to compose tragic lays about the death of his beautiful, beloved dame. Criseyde sees through Troilus's importunate letter, and, instead of playing the expected role of the bereft lady, she assumes the role of a courtly lover herself. As Davis notes, "when his [Troilus's] thou becomes an it, it rightly opts out." Criseyde might have risked her life or wasted away for the valiant Troilus of Book III, but she deems this poseur unworthy of such deep, abiding affection.

John McKinnell contrasts the structure of Criseyde's letter to Troilus's, noting that her epistle flows eloquently and follows the rules of artes dictamen. Criseyde's controlled prose reflects her nature; she will determine her own actions and certainly will not be dictated to by a man whose own convoluted letter displays an utter lack of composure or self-discipline. The time for impulsive behavior on the part of Troilus has passed. He should have displayed such passion when Criseyde was taken from him; he should have acted rashly when such behavior would have proved effective. Now his raving falls on deaf ears, and his former lover tersely retorts "Nor other thyng nys in youre remembraunce, / As thynketh me, but only youre plesaunce" (V, 1607-8).

In abandoning Troilus and accepting Diomede's suit, Criseyde behaves like a male lover jilting a woman with whom he has grown weary. Criseyde knows that men behave in this manner, for prior to accepting Troilus's advances, she complains about the faithlessness of men: "ek men ben so un trewe,/That right anon as cessed is hire lest,/So cesseth love, and forth to love a newe./But harm ydoon is doon, whoso it rewe:,For though thise men for love hem first torende,/Ful sharp bygynnyng breketh ofte at ende."(II, 786-91) Criseyde follows the consummate courtly lover's, Pandarus's, advice to Troilus, an act that leaves both uncle and lover astounded. Her behavior provokes Pandarus's violent exclamation "I hate, ywis, Cryseyde; / And, God woot, I wol hate hire evermore!" (V, 1732-33), as well as his wish that she will die soon, a desire to which Troilus, by not gainsaying, seems to give his silent assent.

Criseyde's unconventional behavior confounds the narrator as well. He cannot quite grasp why she gives Diomede Troilus's brooch, for instance, despairing that there "was litel nede" for such a deed (V, 1040). The narrator cannot admit that Troilus deserves to be abandoned by Criseyde, for to do so would be to recognize that he has recounted the story of a dithering, self-consumed man. By giving Diomede her brooch, Criseyde sends Troilus a clear message that no matter how much he rants and raves she no longer will accommodate his desires. She lets him know that not only does she refuse to return to Troy; she also refuses to waste away for love of him. Criseyde never wanted to involve herself in an affair constrained by the rules of courtly love, and she takes up with a new lover, who, like her, eschews such conventions.

Diomede's desire for Criseyde does not emasculate him, and he never complains of her cruel heart or hints that she causes him great pain. Instead, he treats her as his equal, engaging her in an intellectual conversation concerning the siege and seeking her opinion about the war: He gan first fallen of the werre in speche Bitwixe hem and the folk of Troie town;/And of th'assege he gan hire ek biseche To telle hym what was hire opynyoun. (V, 855-58) Diomede understands Criseyde's nature, for he recognizes that she is a woman interested in much more than silly love games. Instead of harping about himself, as Troilus tends to do, Diomede at least feigns empathy for Criseyde's plight, telling her he has noticed her sorrow and wondering if she laments a lost love (V, 871-82).

His concern indeed may be motivated merely by lust, but compared to Troilus's self pitying posturing, it strikes the Trojan beauty as a welcome change. In Criseyde's estimation, Diomede now seems much closer to the ideal she seeks than the Trojan prince, for Diomede pretends at least to admire both her beauty and her intellect. Indeed, Chaucer hints that Diomede may prove a much better match for feisty Criseyde than the young, oversensitive prince. The poet reveals that the Greek warrior and the Trojan beauty share the same pragmatic philosophy. Determined to court Criseyde, Diomede reminds himself that "he that naught n'asaieth naught n'acheveth" (V, 784). His words echo Criseyde's own, who, while contemplating Troilus's suit, mused that "'He which that nothing undertaketh, / Nothyng n'acheveth, be hym looth or deere'" (II, 807-8). Troilus, significantly, does not subscribe to this self-sufficient view.

Readers should not scorn Criseyde for turning toward Diomede. After being so bitterly disappointed in Troilus, who proved himself incapable of transcending the conventional, Criseyde continues to believe in the possibility of attaining the ideal in love. She may not remain loyal to a man who has failed her, but she does remain loyal to the notion of a healthy, wholesome love, a love based on mutual desire and a meeting of minds. Her passion for Troilus has changed her; she does not revert back to the cynical young widow of Book II, who regarded love as little more than a trap set by men. For one fleeting moment, Criseyde found her affair with Troilus liberating, because it enabled her to express and to sate finally her own desires. She embarks on a relationship with Diomede yearning to recapture the bliss that she once felt with her Trojan prince. Diomede, she hopes, will prove a more worthy recipient of her stalwart heart.

Troilus also finds himself altered by his love affair with Criseyde, but his transformation occurs only after his death. His demise releases him from the courtly love conventions that he found impossible to escape while on earth. In Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi describes the metamorphosis that occurs when her female students remove their mandatory black robes in the sanctuary of their professor's apartment. Freed from these black garbs, symbols of the repressive Iranian regime, they indulge in the luxury of laughter. Upon his death, Troilus finds himself similarly released from the strictures of his society. He can now shed his pose as a courtly lover, and, looking at the world from his heavenly perch, he too can laugh, both at his weakness in constantly allowing the values of the majority to dictate his actions and at the temerity of the woman he once loved, who refused to do so.”

- Mary Behrman, “Heroic Criseyde.”

[honestlyhufflepuff]

Here are 20 reasons I am leaving the caregiver job with the client I've had since 2008: a list of unprofessional behavior and abuse by my client's guardian.

1. She said I wasn't Christian anymore, and said I was disrespecting my mother, for leaving the church I was raised in.

2. During the first year of employment, she would yell at me multiple times a week over things like leaving a lamp on (this is while I was caring for her medically fragile, high needs adult daughter). She would accuse me of being incompetent or trying to get fired for unemployment.

3. She told me I was not approved off for my honeymoon, less than a month beforehand, when I gave her over 5 months notice with consistent reminders. She harassed me over several texts while I was on my honeymoon saying I would be fired if I did not return a week earlier than I was supposed to.

4. She told me I still had to come in when I was sick and vomiting because she did not believe me. I became dehydrated and was vomiting so much that I had uncontrollable dry heaving and was unable to drive home. She refused to come home early when I told her of my symptoms, and when she did come home to see me retching into her trash can, she started handing me cleaning supplies to disinfect the trash can and the entire bathroom before I went to the emergency room...

5. ...there was no apology or ownership in forcing a sick employee to work to the point of needing to be hospitalized. She would not accept that I could not come into work for the next 3 days until my husband delivered the doctor's note.

6. I worked there throughout college, and would present my new school schedule each semester. For one class, I made the mistake of scheduling it after work. She said the schedule worked with her, but then consistently got home 30 min to and hour late. I missed so many classes that I had to withdraw.

7. Even after the hospitalization mentioned in #3, she would continue to be skeptical of any time I called in sick over the years (which wasn't often). I had no PTO or sick leave to use even when I was full time, so when I took off I didn't get paid. I was never approved to take off for any reason, and when I did take off it was accompanied by a massive guilt trip about how I was putting her family in a bind. It did not matter if it was a vacation, an illness, a doctor's appointment, or a family emergency. It also did not matter how much or little notice I gave; the guilt trips and emotional manipulation still accompanied any time I needed off. To this day, with every job I've had, I am always incredibly anxious about asking off, but it's never been a problem anywhere else I've worked.

8. Emotionally manipulative things she has said to get me to stay:

-"We don't have anyone else. I have to go to my job in order to care for [client's name]. You would be jeopardizing my job by leaving, and her well being." (If pressed she eventually admits to not looking for anyone else)

-"[Client's name] loves you like a sister, and her quality of life would go down significantly without you..." continues to tell me that if I don't do what she wants then I don't love or care for the client, even if it is because I need a job with higher pay and benefits to support my own family.

-"I thought the two of us were friends. This is very selfish of you." (Any time I don't do what she wants, like continuing to go to school full time).

-"God has put her in your life for a reason. You are called as spiritual sisters. It's your responsibility to care for her."

-"In the real world-the business world- other people won't be ok with you just taking off without approval. It's insubordinate and unprofessional." I was only 18 when she told me this, and young enough to believe her. Once again, I've literally never had a problem taking off with any other client or job because I often had PTO, and was always able to obtain leave approval easily. Even when it meant the client parent had to take off from work, they understood that the onus was on them to find the needed staff to account for people needing sick days and vacation.

9. She puts me in the middle of personal drama, constantly bad-mouthing the client's father and other attendants (who all inevitably leave after a year or two at most).

10. Told me, after a decade of infertility, that God told her I would become pregnant and have a son I was to name Amos. She said it would only become true if I prayed about it, so now when I most likely don't become pregnant, I feel it will be blamed on my lack of faith- or the fact that I am a different faith from her. I feel this instance was truly out of good intention, but ultimately unprofessional and something I would have preferred she keep to herself.

11. For years, she never got home when she said she would. I could never make plans after work because she would agree to come home at 7 and sometimes not make it home until 8:30. She always blamed traffic, needing to run an errand, or her boss keeping her. Then, when I had my own child I had to pick up from an after school program, she consitently got home on time. This showed me that she did have the executive functioning skills to be on time, but did not respect my personal time or work with other clients enough to do so before I was a parent.

12. I bent over backwards trying to help her. I scheduled less time with higher paying clients that were lower need. I sometimes worked 60 hour weeks while I was also in school. It never felt like it was enough. Even for the time I was working there 6 hours a week it was always "Why can't you stay later? Where do you have to be?" The more I gave, the more was expected, and then I was guilted for not meeting that higher expectation.

13. She refused to take the time to have team meetings with other service providers and caregivers, despite the fact all my other client families do this, and keep staff much more consistently as a result. Because of this, information and instructions were always inconsistent. With the client being significantly behaviorally challenged and medically fragile, this was at everyone's detriment.

14. Over the years, I referred 3 friends to work for her because she insisted she could not find caregivers on her own. All 3 of them lasted less than a year due to her behavior. She would then blame them and trash talk them to me, despite knowing I was still friends with them.

15. She expected caregivers to also deep clean the house. We are talking hours worth of work, that there just was not time for within the shift while also meeting the needs of the client.

16. She is openly homophobic, xenophobic, and although she thinks of herself as "not racist," she was extremely weird towards my besf friend's African fiancé. She refused to shake his hand and told me she didn't think he was with her for the "right reasons." Maybe thought he was in it for a green card? She seemed skeptical when I told her that he became a citizen 2 years prior, and that they'd been dating 6 years.

17. She has systematically isolated my adult client more and more over the years. We used to share many interests in things like Harry Potter, early 2000's pop, anime, Harajuku fashion, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, etc. One by one, everything we bonded over was off limits, due to being a "bad influence" or "demonic." She is no longer allowed to engage in any age-expected media unless it is explicitly Christian, and it breaks my heart to see how sad she gets about that.

18. When I was in college, and completely broke after just paying for books and classes, she said that she wanted me to go to the water park with her and the client. Admission was $50. I assumed she was paying since I was being required to go for work, and this was always what was done in the past. In the car, I asked if I could ride a roller coaster that the client wouldn't be able to go on while they ate ice cream. She said "Sure! You can ride whatever you like!"

So, I start getting excited. We're chatting pleasantly until the moment when she says "OK, when we get out of the car, you can go pay for your ticket first, and then I will bring..."

My stomach dropped. I told her there was a misunderstanding, and that I could not afford my ticket. She acted like it wasn't right that she should have to pay for mine. I told her that if she didn't want to, then I could study at the Starbucks across the street while they attended the park. She said no, because obviously she still wanted my help with her daughter. She paid for my ticket, making passive aggressive comments the whole time about everything I did, from how I pushed the wheelchair to how long I took to go to the bathroom despite the line.

I was no longer permitted to go ride the roller coaster, and I sat in silence while they ate their ice cream.

19. Recently, due to Covid, I do not have child care for my own daughter on Fridays. I have been bringing her to work with me, which my client's mom was supportive of. Then the client had drastic behavioral changes that I won't detail, but that O can say was significantly stressful on my daughter, and made it stressful for me to manage both of them at the same time. I told the mother, 2 weeks in advance, that I could not come in on Fridays until the behavior was consistently resolved. I do not want to get a sitter outside of maybe my aunt, due to covid, and I wouldn't expect her to do that every week. My client's mom was very understanding of this at first, seeing as we both now have special needs children, but the night before the next Friday I was scheduled to come in she berated me for not finding babysitting to the point that I started to panic. I firmly told her that I gave her plenty of notice, and then blocked her number up until the day I was scheduled to come back in.

20. When she is home at the same time I am helping her daughter, she micromanages everything. I think she is incapable of just letting me do the same work I've been doing for over a decade without standing over my shoulder and looking for something wrong.

Some background info:

I wanted to write this, first of all, to document all the reasons that I am justified in leaving, so that I can refer back to it no matter how hard she tries to get me to stay. This is like my anonymous way of getting it off my chest since no one who follows me on here knows me irl. Second of all, I want all the young professionals on here to know that, if they are treated like this in the work place, it is ok to leave!

I started working for this family when I was 18, and I am now 31. I have worked as many as 60 hour weeks, and as little as twice a month when I was full time with the state, but I have always cared for her in some capacity since 2008. I am currently working 15-20 hours a week with her.

You may wonder why I've stayed so long, and in regards to that I will say first of all that abusive relationships are hard to leave. The abuser may convince you that you are bad and won't find anywhere else good enough to take you. This can pertain to any type of relationship, be it romantic, professional, parental, or friends.

Another factor is that I love my client deeply, and my employer takes advantage of that. We grew up childhood friends, which is one reason maintaining professional boundaries with this family has been so hard.

The last reason I have stayed may be the hardest to explain, but I will try.

Sometimes she is good. My employer has made improvements over the years. Most of the worst things on here happened when I was in college. I don't know if her improvement is due to a genuine change in heart, or because she knows deep down that her behavior is why all the other caregivers left.

Whatever the reason, we do actually care for each other. We do actually connect and have a good time. She is kind to my husband and my daughter. She often tells me that I am a godsend to her family, a loyal and talented caregiver, and the best friend her daughter has ever had (although she will contradict this the moment I am not doing what she wants).

What I want people in similar situations to know is that the good moments do not erase the trauma of the bad ones. It is not my responsibility to "get over it" because she is trying to do better. A lot of the stuff she has said and done run too deep, and when she lapses into her old ways, I find myself reacting in a panic-driven, irritable way that's not really me. It's a reaction to trauma. I am not required to continue to stay at an underpaid job with an environment that evokes such emotions.

So please, if you are being treated like this in your job, then leave. You will find something else. For me, I intend to have another job lined up before leaving, but I'm on my way. For the first time in years, I've revamped my resumé, and it felt so empowering to work on a document that highlights my strengths!

For anyone in a similar position, you've got this. There are a lot of great jobs out there. There are a lot of humane employers. If you are treated like this, then label it for what it is. It is abuse. It is unhealthy. It is not ok. It is not erased by the times they are nice. And you deserve better.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 6 “Seeing Red”

Well this recap is massively late. Blame foolish past!me for purchasing Minecraft two days ago... 

Still, deja vu, anyone? This recap feels like an almost exact play-by-play of last week’s: good second half, awful first. Honestly for those of you following my metas there’s nothing much new here to tackle, but we’ll dive in regardless.

Our episode summary asks "How far am I willing to go to win?" and Team RWBY answers with, “As far as it fucking takes.” If that attitude was directed against Salem and her subordinates or even a mess of grimm? Admirable! Now that it’s aimed at an ally and is screwing over Argus in the process? Not so much…

We open on base where a group of Atlas personnel are watching the mech fight go down, all of them cheering. I mentioned in a brief post that this is an interesting choice. No one else seems to think that Cordovin is overdoing it with the massive robot, so either a) everyone in this military is incapable of thinking through repercussions (i.e. “If we use something big and scary people will, astoundingly, get scared and draw grimm”) or b) they acknowledge that, to be frank, you kind of need a mech for this fight. Ruby says herself that they’ve fought giant monsters before. What hope does Cordovin stand against huntsmen—particularly a whole mess of them—if she doesn’t bring out the big guns? As we’ve already established ad nauseam, no military operative in their right mind is gonna go, “Sure! Cross the closed border without reason or qualifications! I’m going to 100% believe that you have a perfectly good reason for crossing, even though you won’t tell me what it is, even though you’re a bunch of armed teens, and a drunk, and a woman I despise. It’s not like this goes against common sense or anything!” Basically, Cordovin has perfectly legitimate reasons for feeling like she needs to stop this group and she’s using what’s probably the only means capable of doing that.

Interestingly, our supposed villain here remains the only one with a shred of critical thinking. She homes in on Maria, not as a rival, but as an adult who “[roped] in children to fail with you.” Cordovin is assuming, logically, that the adults are calling the shots here… because that makes sense right? The 17yo wouldn’t really be in charge of this group. And even if she were, the adults around her wouldn’t really help her with an idiotic plan like this. Cordovin is re-highlighting for the audience exactly how stupid this whole situation is.

While everyone is going gaga over the fight we pull back to see an ominous red dot heading across one of the base’s screens. Later we’ll learn it’s exactly what the fandom assumed it was: one monster of an ocean grimm. For now though, we return to Ruby still hanging off that cliff… dangling uselessly… before suddenly, miraculously pulling herself up in about three swings of Crescent Rose.

This entire setup is ridiculous. As you’ll recall, Ruby was about to get blown up by Cordovin’s cannon because she’s suddenly vulnerable, to an OOC extent. No one on the cliff helps her, she doesn’t drop down into the water, doesn’t use her semblance to fly up, and doesn’t climb the mountain like we see her doing here. This sudden ineptitude “necessitates” Oscar and Maria coming to her rescue, despite the fact that they’re supposed to be keeping the airship out of the fight. We had a cliffhanger last week that was less about whether those two are okay (we knew Oscar would be at least) and more about whether that explosion destroyed their ship. …No such luck. The airship is totally fine! As promised last recap, I’m rolling my eyes.

You’ll see throughout this episode that the plot continues to twist in on itself to ensure that the consequences of the groups’ actions are never so horrible that they’re actually forced to confront their choices—at least not yet. The airship somehow manages to survive. Maria’s eyes are working again. No one has sustained serious injuries. No one has died. The real question is whether this will continue on into the finale.

For now, Ruby has the gall to be pissed off about being saved.

Oscar: “Are you okay?”

Ruby: “Are WE okay?”

Yes, Ruby. Tell us more about how annoying it is to be rescued from death via dust cannon, even if it comes at the cost of endangering your stollen ticket out of here.

Of course, we’re immediately given another justification for Maria and Oscar’s sudden involvement: Oscar thinks he’s come up with a way to take down this mech, but they’ll need to actually use the airship to do it. We get some explanations about how the missiles are vulnerable by popping out of the mech’s arm. “We could destroy the entire cannon. Oscar that’s brilliant!”

No, that’s willful destruction of military property. Yang’s line later on about being smarter than Adam really hammers home that yes, all these kids are brilliant when it comes to battle. Jaune, Oscar, Yang, and Ruby all demonstrate fabulous quick thinking in these fights, but this volume their intellect has been limited to the literal combat. Any great leaps of thought that take long-term repercussions into consideration—like what’s going to happen if we use an invaluable question to steal our leader’s hidden past, or whether there’s a way to get into Atlas that doesn’t involve making an enemy of the world’s strongest military—go straight out the window. This is why they need Ozpin. He’s the only one in this group capable of thinking about long-term strategy. (I thought Maria was another candidate, up until she went along with this plan just so she could taunt Cordovin with more cashews.) The gang has so far been learning that instant gratification is their best policy. Well we just took Ozpin’s secret and managed to survive—never needed him anyway, right? Well we just took the airship and managed to defeat the mech—so what if it required some close calls? This is why that end grimm attack is so important. The group has got to experience a consequence that they can’t easily shrug off.

And, you know, the writing has to emphasize that.

Anyway, back to this current nonsense. Ruby is all gung-ho to take on this crazy dangerous task in the name of destroying the mech they shouldn’t be dismantling in the first place. I would have appreciated the parallels between “Can you make that shot?” and Ruby’s first team battle (Ruby: “Think you can make the shot?” Weiss: “Can I”), but like everything in this fight the enjoyable aspects are lost to the awful context. Despite realizing that she’ll be “Staring down the barrel of [Cordovin’s] cannon,” Ruby hops into the airship with no hesitation, leaving Qrow to reach out to her in fear.

The butchering of their relationship in the name of Ruby’s Can Do No Wrong attitude is particularly annoying, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

For now, Maria is all smiles as she flies them straight at the mech. Ruby is confident in her ability to make an incredibly difficult shot. None of them can even conceive of the idea that they’d fail, a pretty egregious position given that nothing has gone to plan since the Fall of Beacon. The only one worried is Oscar—“Are you two crazy?!”

Which… doesn’t make much sense? Oscar, this was your plan. How exactly do you hope to enact it without Cordovin preparing to shoot? That’s the entire point of all this: her missiles are vulnerable when they’re about to launch. I’m just so over these inconsistencies. Maria shouts that, “Sometimes the best approach is simply the most direct!” which had better be the theme that comes back to bite them in the finale. No. Usually the most direct approach is far from the best option. Particularly during a war. 

Inside the mech Cordovin has an incoming call from the base and looks like she’s about to answer it… but at just the right second Maria starts taunting her again. Cordovin is distracted and she misses the info about an incoming leviathan.

The goading is, of course, about how they have one missile left and plan to stick it somewhere unmentionable. As the group knew she would, Cordovin reacts by pulling out her own missiles, giving them the clear shot they need. We get a long moment of Ruby setting up the perfect shot…

…and then Cordovin sees what she’s doing, pulling her missiles back just in time. The bullet bounces right off the mech’s armor.

Ruby’s little “Huh?” was amazing. Serious kudos to the voice acting because that one sound managed to encompass all that indignant surprise. I failed? But how is that possible! And like always, there’s nothing resembling a backup plan. Ruby’s confidence here—her arrogance, rather—nearly gets the three of them killed. Cordovin shoots the airship, Maria’s glasses short-circuit, and Oscar is forced to crash land them in the forest. There’s a moment afterwards where he comments that they’re all okay, but none of the shots include Maria. I honestly thought she’d been killed, or at least seriously injured, thereby hammering home that Ruby’s stupidity just lost her a new mentor.

…but no. Everyone’s fine. And trust me, Ruby is about to get a whole lot stupider.

She exits the airship and immediately makes a beeline for Cordovin, despite the fact that the plan failed and pretty much everyone is exhausted. We get a closeup on the relic as Qrow grabs her hand, “Ruby stop.” She gives her uncle another hard look and tells him he needs to trust her.

For one brief moment I thought that Ruby might put a stop to this, that her “Trust me” might be reframed as, “It’s okay, because I’m about to do what you’re going to suggest anyway.” After all, the Ruby Rose of five volumes makes empathetic and (usually) well thought out decisions. Surely she isn’t going to continue this fight out of pure stubbornness? Surely she hasn’t lost so much faith in Qrow that she won’t even listen to him when he’s (again) speaking sense? Yes, Ruby claimed that she doesn’t care what he thinks, but that was in a moment of fury. Before this we got her comment about learning so much from great mentors. Surely she’ll listen to her most important mentor now?

Nope.

Cordovin has ceased her attack, something that tells me—despite all her theatrics—that she’s got a more level head than most would assume at first glance. If she’d truly cared only about destroying this group she could have blown them all up immediately. Instead she tells Ruby to surrender and accept the punishment for her crimes. Ruby’s response?

“No!”

Everyone realizes that she comes across as a child throwing a temper tantrum, right? Ruby did something bad, started a fight to try and avoid punishment when she was caught, that failed, the adult sensibly tries to de-escalate the situation, telling her that it’s over, she needs to own up to her mistakes… and Ruby all but stomps her foot, giving an emphatic ‘Screw you.’

How are we meant to feel about this moment? Let’s take a look at the rest of the cast’s response for our cue.

Check out all those smiling faces. Yeah, screw authority and responsibility! We’ll do whatever the hell we want!

Ruby then gives another thoroughly ridiculous speech, the core of which is:

“We’re supposed to be on the same side. We’re supposed to use our power to protect people. But you just use yours to look down on everyone. We didn’t want to steal from you, we did it because you gave us no other choice. Now I’m giving you one last chance to stand down and hear us out.”

Ruby, newsflash, you’re talking about yourself. You’re the one who betrayed an ally (twice if you count Ozpin). You’re the one who is using your power to start and continue a fight. You’re the one looking down on everyone because you think your mission—the mission no one else knows about—gives you carte blanche to do whatever you want. Also, people love to paint Ozpin as the manipulator, but check out Ruby’s word choice here:

“Now I’m giving you one last chance” - What was the first chance, Ruby? Because, uh… there wasn’t one. You said, “Let us through.” Cordovin said no. You jumped straight to theft. There were no choices presented to Cordovin except the one that involves her going against a direct order for absolutely no reason.

“Hear us out” - Hear what out? There’s no argument here. “Hear us out” implies that Ruby has a persuasive stance to take, a presentation of why they should be allowed to go into Atlas. But she can’t give Cordovin anything like that unless she explains the whole Salem situation… which we know very well Ruby won’t do. In this case, “Hear us out” is just a dressed up way of saying, “Do as I say or else.” Ruby’s threatening her because as we see in a moment, she’s come up with another plan to cripple the mech.

“We didn’t want to steal from you, we did it because you gave us no other choice.” - You did have other choices. Lots of them. Not only is that a straight up lie, but Ruby tries to paint Cordovin as personally responsible, as if this one woman is the only thing standing in their way and not, you know, a whole kingdom that closed its borders. Her “We didn’t want to” tries to re-characterize the group as victims here. This sounds a whole lot like other false equivalencies, ones with a lot more weight. You know, things like, “I didn’t want to hit you. I did it because you gave me no choice.”

In fact, let’s consider the bigger issues at play in Ruby’s attitude. Bear with me a moment, but you know what all this reminds me of? Bullying. Over the last few weeks the vast majority of the fandom has been using logic often applied to bullying situations, wherein people are more focused on whether the victim had an “appropriate” response to the bullying, as opposed to whether the persecutor should have been acting upon them in the first place. Quick story time. When I was in middle school there was a kid who, looking back, had a number of behavioral problems that he chose to take out on me. Let’s call this kid Ryan. Ryan used to level a great deal of verbal and physical abuse my way, getting away with it because he was careful to do it out of earshot of teachers, careful to claim that any injury was an “accident,” and ultimately people were more willing to believe that the goody-goody teacher’s pet (me) had suddenly developed a taste for lying than accept the more complex scenario that a student was violently acting out. One day Ryan, in another “accident,” slammed into me hard enough to knock me into the gym’s concrete wall. When I got back on my feet I finally lost my temper and kicked him in the shin.

Guess which student finally got into trouble.

I chuck this story into my recap as a way of demonstrating a pattern. We tend to be far more concerned with how someone reacts to a situation than why they felt the need to react that way. Surely we’ve all heard, “You just can’t let them get to you!” placing all the responsibility on the victim to, somehow, turn off their emotions, rather than addressing the inappropriate behavior that’s causing those emotions in the first place. The fandom is applying this same pattern to Cordovin, emphasizing that she shouldn’t have gotten the mech out (a response deemed inappropriate) as opposed to acknowledging that our group shouldn’t have been lying, stealing, and beating up officers in the first place.

Granted, Cordovin isn’t a middle schooler still learning how to manage her emotions. Are there discussions to be had about how she might have handled the situation better? Absolutely, but that conversation is tangental to the underlying issue: that RWBYJNR are the perpetrators and she (representing Argus) is the victim. Telling Cordovin she shouldn’t have gotten the mech after two of her warnings is akin to telling someone they shouldn’t have punched someone else after twice telling them to keep your hands off me. Saying that the plan might have worked is just… so far off the mark I don’t even know where to begin. Getting away with illegal activity doesn’t suddenly make it right. It certainly doesn’t change the fact that a) the relay tower still would have been disabled for who knows how long, b) Argus would still have been out of an airship, and c) they still would have realized at some point that the ship had been stollen, further damaging these relations.

“I might have gotten away with it” isn’t exactly a defense.

ANYWAY, god. Cordovin has “heard enough” (so have I) and prepares to shoot another blast directly at Ruby. And then this girl throws herself into the cannon—oh sure now your semblance works—so she can take the shot directly from inside. Once again we’re encouraged to view this as the epic, heroic conclusion: Jaune’s awed voice over explaining what she’s attempting, the close up on Ruby, the dramatic lighting, music rising in the background… She takes out the mech’s arm and does serious damage to her aura in the process, getting knocked out for a few seconds. Ruby’s lucky she didn’t die. Hell, even Nora exclaims, “She’s nuts!”

And for what? Not to take down a grimm to protect the people. Not to defend her family from Salem’s subordinates. Ruby endangered herself and her team simply because she can’t take “No” for an answer right now.

When Ruby wakes up the first thing she says is a smug, “Told you” to Qrow. I’ve never wanted to put a fictional character into time out before, but I do now.

Luckily, at this moment we return to Blake and Yang, the well constructed portion of this episode. Honestly, nothing but praise from me for what they managed to pull off in this fight. Adam starts us off by demanding to know why Blake thinks she can win this time and it’s a simple answer: Because she has to. She doesn’t have a choice. Adam himself made sure of that.

Undaunted, Adam tries to undermine that determination by pointing out that Blake abandoned him. Who’s to say she won’t do the exact same thing to Yang? Blake has another wonderful answer—she only made that promise to someone he was pretending to be—but it says a lot that this doesn’t even put a dent in Yang’s conviction. You know, the thing she’s feared since Blake originally left Beacon: abandonment. I said last time that the writers might be going full perfection with Blake and Yang’s face-off here and this episode solidifies that. Relationship perfect. Strategy perfect. Control of their anger, perfect. I still don’t think we were shown how the girls got to this place, especially so quickly, but it is still satisfying to see.

During the second half of the fight we get to see the girls doing a reverse of their standard combo, wherein Blake is the powerhouse at the end of Gambol Shroud’s ribbon and Yang is providing the momentum. Adam manages to block it though—their normal finishing move won’t be enough—and Blake takes a hard hit against the rocks. As she struggles not to go over, Adam turns his original question on Yang. You couldn’t beat me last time, why is this any different?

And for a moment Yang collapses. Her whole body goes limp in terror.

That’s what I was looking for, especially since it’s a legit question. Yang hasn’t done much training recently. Her sparing with Tai was meant to get her used to a new limb and it was primarily emotional/strategic. She missed all the practice at Haven and you can presumably only learn so much from a single battle. By all accounts Yang shouldn’t be much better, physically, than she was back at Beacon and for a second I thought the writing would just straight up ignore this.

Instead they acknowledge it, giving us Yang’s line about not needing to be faster, just smarter. She catches Adam’s blade with her new arm and then Yang revs up her semblance, hitting Adam hard enough to tear up the rock around him.

It is, without question, a pretty epic moment.

Which makes the actual finale that much softer, something I was glad for. It would have felt cheap if Adam went out in some awesome blaze of glory, given that this is what the girls do to every dime a dozen grimm that comes their way. Instead we get the reverse. When Adam makes a break for Blake’s weapon she just manages to grab it first, Yang takes the broken piece, and without hesitation they both skewer him through. Adam’s final word is a broken, disbelieving “Oh.”

I really enjoyed the composition of this shot. Both girls taking a half of a broken weapon to make a new whole, Blake getting to face Adam as he goes down, slowly watching their fighter instincts give way to horror. Adam topples over the edge of the cliff… which I have to point out is pretty convenient for them. Yes, this was 100% in self defense, but considering that the rest of the group is currently battling the military, the last thing anyone needs is for Blake and Yang to get caught with a body on their hands.

Blake takes one look at Gambol Shroud and breaks down, collapsing under the weight of it all. Which… yeah. No matter what he might have become, it was clear a part of Blake truly cared for Adam long ago. No matter that it was self defense, the girls just took their first life. That’s going to be a lot to work through, so it says a lot that what Blake first focuses on is reassuring Yang that Adam was wrong. She’s keeping her promise this time.

With the girls comforting one another we return to the main group. Makes sense. With the mech’s arm disabled and Adam dead, both of the conflicts have pretty much been resolved. What do we have to look forward to in the finale?

By the Power of Plot the airship is still somehow able to fly and for a moment it looks like everyone will just leave while they still can, especially since Cordovin is calling for reinforcements. (Seriously. Did the kids think defeating the mech would keep the rest of the military from coming after them?) However, the call reveals that Argus is in danger. A leviathan grimm is heading this way and a mess of others are coming in from the opposite direction. We see the group’s shocked faces… and then a pan to the mech, re-emphasizing that it’s now pretty useless in this coming fight.

The group ought to be disgusted with themselves for putting Argus in this position. Their fight brought the grimm to Argus, they destroyed the primary defense, and they’re all so exhausted that, presumably, they won’t be much use in this fight. I almost wish the timing was a little different and they’d grabbed Yang and Blake, flying off to Atlas. What a kick it would have been for them to reach the city and hear reports of Argus being overrun by grimm. The military was missing a crucial defense. There were no huntsmen on scene to help push back the tide.

Still, the connection between their expressions and the mech is a hopeful sign that, after an entire volume, the consequences of the nonsense they’ve pulled might finally start seeking in. I honestly never expected to go 11 episodes with them blithely ignoring the impact of their choices. In my opinion, in order to maintain their heroic status, we should have started this process immediately after the relic. I’ve heard a lot of people claim that it’s only been a few days, but as we saw with Jaune, when you do something horrible we should see regret almost instantly—if there’s any regret to see. By all means, give us a volume where the group is grappling with their anger vs. their sympathy… but that’s very much not what we got this year. Ruby, and by extension everyone following her, has become downright callous. I miss rooting for our main characters.

Actually, you know what I want at this point? Back to the basics. As other fans have pointed out, let the group get to Atlas via arrest. We close the volume on them all in a jail cell for the crimes they’ve committed. Next volume James pulls some strings to get them released, but they’re all blindsided by a lack of support beyond that. Show us a James who took Ozpin’s words to heart—don’t scare people in a time of peace—and is utterly horrified at what this group has now done in the name of their mission. After all, he might have made mistakes, but he didn’t forsake the job of a huntsmen so badly that he knowingly attacked an ally and put a whole city in danger. He was overconfident in his technology, not arrogant about his place in the world. 

Frankly, I want James to throw them back into school. You want to stay out of jail? The requirement is you join Atlas Academy instead and learn everything you obviously missed out on at Beacon. There’s a reason huntsmen aren’t chucked into the world at 17 with one year of training, and you’re an A-class example of why. Want to continue the fight? Get your license first. Demonstrate that you’re responsible enough not to use the skills we’ve given you as weapons against the people. Anymore than you already have. Give me a volume where the group has to come to terms with the fact that they’ve put themselves up on a pedestal because of their super secret mission. Have them interact with students who have never seen the same sort of combat they have, but who are also level-headed enough not to use that as an excuse for any and all actions they might feel like taking. Let them start finding a balance between the near total freedom Ozpin gave them and the militaristic organization of James’ school (which probably isn’t all that different, if Neon and Flynt are any indication). In short, give the group some stability so they can get some perspective.

After all, no one knows what to do after they secure the relic. No one has even discussed yet if they want to do more. Is popping into each of the other schools just to say, “Is your relic still safe? Yeah? Great!” so important? The Salem battle is currently at a standstill until a) they figure out a way to beat her or b) she drops some hint about her next attack. So give the group some breathing room. Have this emotional growth about their attitude, yes, but also explore what it is to have Faunus students in an Atlesian academy (expanding that world building beyond just Adam and the White Fang). What it’s like for Weiss attending the school she originally rejected, so close to her father again? Give Blake and Yang time to come to terms with the fact that they killed someone, even in self-defense. Let Oscar get some actual training. Let Ozpin reconvene with his inner circle. Let Qrow get some help with his drinking. There’s still plenty of conflict to be had—be it internal, grimm, or (a good arc for the end of the volume) Watts, Tyrian, Cinder, and Neo finally showing up in Atlas. I realize that a lot of people would probably find a volume like that boring, but I think it’s needed after the mess of volume 6. If Ruby and the group ever hope to reach a place where they realize “just keep pushing forward no matter the cost” isn’t always the answer, they need to be in a space where they don’t feel like they have to push forward all the time. Peaceful Argus apparently wasn’t enough; they didn’t take that breathing room to think through a better plan. So slam them into a safe place that’s also governed by rules. Give them boundaries again.

That’s personally what I’d enjoy after all this, but I also recognize that I’m in the minority here for even thinking there are problems that need addressing.

Regardless, we still have a number of practical and thematic questions to answer. Will the group regret starting all this? Will anyone in Argus die because of this attack? Are the Cotta-Arcs in danger? (Please no). Is everyone going to be out of commission because of their aura, or will there be a very convenient second wind? Will Ozpin return in a blaze of power?

We’ll find out next week, and good thing too. I’m ready for the hiatus, folks.

Other Details of Note

Ren’s “Guys!” when he sees that Jaune and Nora are okay is the most wholesome thing. Jaune obviously took a hard hit though, further emphasizing exactly how not ready this group is for another battle.

I like how Qrow needs to jump off the cliff to transform rather than just…heading on over to his left. Like yes, I fully understand this is for practical reasons (showing us the transformation is a whole lot more complex in terms of animation), but it’s still funny in a ‘Qrow’s natural state is to be overly dramatic’ way.

RWBY’s a big fan of the split-screen this volume, isn’t it?

In case anyone missed it, Adam’s comments this episode made it pretty clear that Yang and Blake are set up to be a couple. You don’t ask an ex’s friend “What does she see in you?” That’s very much not the kind of relationship Adam is assuming they have.