#ill be 28 this year
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Sometimes I'm like 'oh hey maybe I'm not that old yet'; and then I see people on here talking about how much they love Joseph Quinn even though he's 10yrs older than them, and then I'm like, '10 years older. ..oh shit, no I'm still old'
#joseph quinn#eddie munson#stranger things#i mean im not that old#but fuck#i learned his age and i was like#yes right in my age range#not younger than me#and just barely older#ill be 28 this year#i feel old now#thanks kids#like just based on age alone#i could potentially date him
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🎂happy blogaversary!!🎂
EVERY ONE OF MY HUA CHENGS I COULD FIND IN PROCREATE :)
#nov 28 was my first post on here .. katya goncharova fanart#(2022)#mental illness is a powerful thing#look at himmmmm. my guy. i throw him in the washing machine on low. i give him little treats. i take him to the dog show and win a ribbon#the cunty gay goth living through the nature of romantic and religious devotion that hit my psyche like a truck#heres to another year of whatever the hell i want to draw!!#thank u for the kind words and attention :)#there are probably a roughly equivalent amount of xie lians. but slightly less#he is not the guy i themed 4 social media accts after though.#art#my art#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hua cheng#mxtx#hualian#hob#heaven official's blessing fanart#heaven official’s blessing#tgcf fanart#not art
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wind waker save me
wind waker
save me wind waker
(last page is frommmm march 2023 when my friends first played thw forest haven. the consensus on it has not changed)
#wind waker#maintagging is making me a bit ill but i promised myself i would tag better this year. shudders#let me do it again ->#loz#EEK !#awww cant wait to replay wind waker with my friends so i can zone out and get work done ^.^ <- forgot how much i love wind waker link#LISTEN TO CEREMONY IN THE WOODS - WIND WAKER OST NEEOWWWW!!!!! such a fun 28 seconds#oh my god. done blabbing for real after this but for clarity's sake first image bottom left is a redraw of a sc from a link and tetra swap#mod i thought was cute & fun#frogart#EDIT im not reposting bc its whatever but its actually unreal the way this did not show up in the tags anyways . or on my dash. LOL#tumblr. whats up girl . are you okay
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it's kinda funny seeing people in fics refer to luis as "the elder man" out of him and leon as tho they're not basically the same age
#i kept seeing it so googled them to see how big their age gap was. thinking like okay leon seems in his mid to late 20s#so how old is luis for people to be saying this- guys he's 28#he is. at MAX. one year older than leon#i thought we had an eggsy harry kingsman situation on our hands. nope. a year#ik it just refers to him being older than leon in ANY capacity but still do u get what i mean???#luis serra#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x luis serra#serrennedy#serrenedy#ill use both since they're both in circulation ig#resident evil 4#resident evil#eli.txt
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Not knowing stuff bc youre younger is such a scam. What do you mean I will be totally unaware of my behavior until I learn from it. What do you mean I'll find myself silly when I am older and it never ends until I die. It's a scam
#anyway thinking about how ill be 22 this year and its like. what will i think of me at 28#krakens croaks#and youre not even aware of what youre missing until you suddenly have it or you are shown what is missing. what the fuck#me @ 16: wow im so smart#me @ 18: what a dumbass. now im smart#me @ 21: what a dumbass. now im smar-
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i just love kim dokja so much what is going on with me
#ill bully him tomorrow but today...#he was just a guy (<- spoken through barely controlled sobs)#he wasn't living the worst possible life. his tragedies were large but ultimately ordinary. he was a 28 year old office worker.#you wouldn't even bat an eye at him on the train. you wouldn't even notice the flush in his cheeks as he scrolled on his phone#he was just a guy...
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I can't tell my family that I want to end it all, because they're the ones who just informed me that I perceived the last three years as wrong. Am I just supposed to wake up tomorrow and be better? Do better? When I want it all to end now?
#vent cw#I'll delete these later#I just need to speak#because apparently I haven't been speaking to my dad and his partner#I haven't been communicating the last three years#so let me speak now#I'm a 28 year old mentally ill loser#and I want it to end.
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it's almost funny how I had such an overwhelming fear that the seasonal depression was going to be bad this year, that I couldn't even enjoy fall (my favorite season). only for december to be here already and I still feel? kind of ok? that's overthinking for ya
#always kind of anxious / sad / mentally ill lol#but the last couple winters have been so bad for me#i didnt start feeling better until may this year when it usually starts up again in oct#(but halloween spirit keeps me going until a truck hits me nov 1st)#so i was so afraid for this winter and its not terrible so far. hopefully this keeps up#anyway not sure what this is about haha#probably bc i'm 28 and still feel like i need to hide my mental health from others irl lol
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🤥
#gunna be 28 on friday and im having a mild breakdown about how my life hasn't progressed since 18 and i dont think it ever will because my#mental health will always ruin and dictate my life and there's nothing i can do about it lol !#at 19 i really thought things were gunna be better but it was just followed by 2 years of hell in a mental health place 🫠#maybe by 29 things will be different because i'll finally see a professional about my alleged [redacted] but im not hopeful 🫠#i think im just extra annoyed and sad because i got annoying news today after a week of several bad things so hopefully ill be over all thi#after my birthday .#oh well at least im not spending my silly little life defending abusers online for free so things could be worse i suppose
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*sings song* Happy Birthday to me 🤗🥳🎂🎉
#another year closer to 30 *cough cough* 28 here i am !!#all i want for my birthday on here is some love to start the new year right!#ill be pretty busy today#for now im up early and lurking#gonna make some icons maybe#and thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday early !! :)#❛ ⦗ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ☾ ∶ ⁎﹡☆ ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ ⁎﹡☆ ⸺ ooc .
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It’s not even like I have a longing for love.
I don’t long for love because I’ve never had it? I don’t know how it feels, so how can you long for something you’ve never had? Ya know?
It feels much more like grieving.
#like grieving the possibility of love#the older I get and longer I go single and without it the more I’m grieving#I feel like I’ve been grieving my whole life#grieving a happy childhood I never had#grieving my teen years that I never had#grieving my 20s as they come to a close#like I’m constantly grieving the things I never got to experience because all I’ve known my whole life is pain and loneliness#and rejection and just….the evils and mistreatment from other people.#anyway#I’m EMO#sometimes I’m convinced that love is fake#or that I did something heinous in a past life#because there has to be a reason why I’ve spent 28 years depressed#and lonely and hated by everyone I’ve ever come in contact with??#like what about me is so fucking insufferable#JUST WHY!!!!!#TELL ME WHY AND ILL FIX IT#TELL ME WHAT I DID AND ILL FIX IT#JUST TELL ME HOW TO MAKE THIS STOP 😭😭😭#ITS NOT FAIR#LIKE IM A GOOD PERSON#I DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND CARED FOR AND CHERISHED
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the dread of passing time 😰
#i am not fully happy although its summer and then it will be winter and i hate winter and then ill be 27 and then 28 and look im 30 oh no i#i dont wanna die 😥 and i dont want my people to die im kinda scared and anxious#why cant we stay the same age and change inside#with each year now my coach will only be getting older and i as well#somehow this specific dynamic scares me#i wish it was always warm season and i didnt have to suffer through half the year being cold and then only four months being happy-ish
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wait haniwa announcement stream today omg
#the yearly stream to announce there will be a stream on 8/28 like we don't know already#but last year they announced an album in this one right#(like they dont release albums like nothing)#so maybe. ill get mentally prepared in case they announce lxl album already#ough wait. lxl album. man.#thats crazy.#hworks#mar's midnight rambles
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if you want to know the State of Things lately everyone i talk to around my age about the future lately agrees that we’re all just waiting on climate change/societal and economic collapse/ another epidemic/the fucking apocalypse to take care of of us all before we truly have to worry about retirement
#life's so fun! life's so fun!#leigh speaks#i'm just. tired.#i genuinely believe we have less than 15 years left#all the reports say more than that and they say fucking everything is happening faster than expected#how are we supposed to cope with that#i met up with an old friend yesterday and we were just talking about this and i was like damn i should have a tally of everyone i've talked#to that also agrees with this#because it's been a fair amount#and for reference i'm 28 and my friends are all around the same age roughly so yeah not a great sample size BUT#i'm fairly confident the sentiment is shared amongst different age groups#will never own a house#too mentally ill to drive#too underpaid to live on our own#too scared about the future to procreate#too underpaid and hated by the government to seek healthcare of any sort#but yeah guns are great the USA is the best country (HEAVY SARCASM)#did i mention how tired i am yet#i'm sorry i went full doomer for a second but this is fucking me up so much lately
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.
#i havent talked to any of my friends since the beginning of the year and dont think i will be#i much rather be Alone than being in there chats#i really don't think ill be talking to them anymore and its not even a reasoning behind it...#sleep seems to be my best friend now#honestly im such a mess#im turning 28 and still have nothing#so much more of me wants to just give it up#i barely can hold a job let alone energy to do anything#the best thing im good at is staying up all night listening to bleach ost or one piece ost or sad classical music#i have longed for a reason#a reason to keep going#to keep a hope#i remember when i told my family i don't bring anything to the family gathering i can never afford any gifts#and even though no one tells me anything about it i always feel bad for accepting there gifts to me#i remember one of them saying jose you do bring something your presences is enough for us#you may not know it but everyone waits to see you and you're like the life of the family gatherings#you make us all laugh and just bring a joyful presence...#that was the first time anyone ever told me that i brought joy to them just for being there#this was just last Christmas#and i still don't know how to feel of us#im thankful but sadden at the fact i can't find joy in being so lonely#craving for a connection and attachment to something real#im just grasping at straws trying to gather myself up#it all feels useless i feel way to old to have nothing to my name#them my mom and grandma treat me like ima drunk when i barely even drink....like if ima drunk then wtf is my dad#he always came home with a beer in his hand and drank some more once he got home#not one day in my life have i seen him without 4 or 5 beers ina day and yet ima drunk for getting a lil tipsy one time#and got a lil upset when my brother in law got into my person space knowing we dont get along at all#but im the bad guy and not the one who approached me with hostility ??? ill never understand them#i domt even know anything about my parents and sad thing is they dont know anything about me
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spotify putting cellophane on here for the 3rd consecutive year to humble me
#don’t forget you’re mentally ill forever - spotify#it’s not even moving down.. ‘20 it was 28 ‘21 it was 20 and this year it’s 14.. when is it my turn to be happy..
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