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khalidplsstfu · 5 months

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To Be Loved Is To Be Changed

It's kinda hard to belive that quote is attributed to a random twitter user. It's even harder to believe that it's true. Every couple of months, something happens to me that alters the way my brain works, maybe forever and i never really talk about it. The situation in this post is one of those situations.

A large percent of my 2023 was spent missing an ex- girlfriend. Very cliche, but also very painful. I questioned everything about the relationship, but mostly the part i played in it's disintegration. The ways in which i failed to be the lover and friend my ex needed was very heavy on my mind. which was weird because i literally never think about ways i failed. but that time spent reflecting on the days I spent being as unperturbed and unaware of my girlfriends feelings as a mostly homeless young man can be left me with me with something resembling an answer.

The reality was that like most men in my life, i put the emotions of those i care about on the back burner in favor of the results I wanted to see. Probably in an effort to protect my emotional self which had almost been beaten to numbness by a tramuatic childhood and young adult life. It's a practice i learned to use on myself, and then spread to other people as some type of barometer of how worth my time they are. Is it kind? Does it make everyone feel seen or heard? No. Did it save me from cold ravolii cans and nights using a bathroom handwarmer to stay warm? Yes.

This hardened dedication to my goals and absolute withdrawl from my emotional self without a doubt saved my life. It saved me from being a vagrant loser, another man who depends on the blessings of others to sustain his own life. But closing that door to how i felt had disatorious effects on my relationship, as i wasn't just closing the door to how I felt, but to FEELINGS in general.

"But that was then" I told myself. "Surely, with all the books i read, all the podcast and lectures and interviews with feminist rants i've consumed, i'm more ready to feel and be felt than ever. More ready to hear and be heard" At the time I was working at a shoe store where my closest thing to a work friend was a middle aged white woman who hated her husband and complained about him every chance she got. Which I gave her many, because learning from a old dude's mistakes is a big part of being a young dude. Anyway, the advice from my work buddy was very concise.

"contact her and let her know how you feel. It's the only way you'll know if she feels the same. and you'll regret it if you don't"

advice that good cant be ignored, especially if you kinda wanna do the thing you're seeking advice about anyway. so i did it. i wrote my greatest love letter ever. i was vunerable. caring. apologetic. everything i thought i was supposed to be. And surprisingly it worked. So well we hung out that night.

But something was diffrent this time. something that makes me feel that dark feeling in the pit of my stomach even as i write. The feeling that I was being mislead. being made a fool of. Too many quickly hidden phone screens and vauge answers. But like every other man, I was a fool. I said " I do not see" I was ready to bare the horror of trusting another human being with my emotions. If trust was a part of love, i was all in. After all, a life without love isnt much of a life at all.

Somehow, in my infinite stupidity, i decided to use some of my disposable income to celebrate her birthday. This was a decision so stupid i routinely beat myself up about it inside the safety of my mind. A decision so stupid the khalid that orginally met the girl in question simply would've never done it.

"Why would i spend money on a girl i barely trust" 19 year old khalid would say. And honestly that kid knew more than i'd give him credit for. But with our focus re-established, i decided to spend her birthday this year showing her how much she meant to me. I planned a day and fully funded it with the last decent check that shoestore would give me. I got two dinners and two tickets to the worst aquariam dallas has to offer and 7 grams of weed for us to smoke. All in preparation for what was a absoloutely horrible day.

Like most horrible days, this one started off relatively normal. I got high and dressed and mentally prepared to pay the debt i owe someone who i've loved for years. she showed up and was as beautiful as she always is and I started us on our way.

In all honesty the day remanined pretty good until we left the aquariam. At which point we lost the car so we couldn't return for a quick smoke after we ate. Frustrating, but instead of lumping my frustration on her i just tried to focus up and find the car. There was a very noticeable frustrated silence while we looked for the car but eventually we did find it. we smoked. and headed to applebees.

applebees. my home away from home. the home of the 4 dollar pint on friday night. in all honesty the perfect place to have your lifelong perspective altered forever, its almost like a fighting game stage in the way there's just limitless oppurtunity to see things you've never seen before. And that warm day in august, that's exactly what I saw.

In order for the events that happened that day, at that applebee's table to make sense to you dear reader, i have to provide context. Not to suck my own dick or anything, but im not a dude who just started getting pussy a week ago. I've been blessed enough to have a face that allows me to expirence the female form in a somewhat consistent way. Saying that to say, i know what it's like to be around good women. And shifty ones. And as me and my ex were having a beautiful day at that applebees table, I saw the shifty woman trademark. the ol "silence the phone and pretend they didn't see"

Now in the moment, i was salty. I felt a whole relationship's worth of mistrust and self consciousness flow through me. she kept trying to talk to me, and i tried my best to respond, but i felt like a dweeb the whole time. After all who was I in that moment? Paying for a date for a girl hiding her phone from you? Planning a day around someone not named Khalid or Khalid Jr? Putting myself in a position to see myself in these ways? what was i ?

I was changed. My first love made me a changed man.

To make a long story short, I've never been on a worse date in my life. I have to be honest and say that I found myself fighting back tears at more than one point. "You've gone soft. This would've never happened to you in 2020. Couple months alone and you lose your spine?" and more and more all played in my head as i sat in silence. At a table at one of my favorite establishments, with what i thought was the person that understood me the most, i felt completely alone. and that was enough to make me cry without being on drugs.

I don't remember how the rest of the day went exactly. I remember making a beeline for my home. saying my goodbyes. overwhelming dread. wanting privacy I couldn't have because i live in an apartment with one too many people. I remember her texting me, accosting me for my behavior. And i remember one sentence more vividly than anything she's ever said to me.

"You know, i don't really owe you anything" she says.

I was blown away. we'd spent days in love. nights looking out for each other. shared our dreams. our fears. the intricacies of our family relationships. young summers spent stealing time with each other. I felt I owed her so much. She took the time to try and see me in a way nobody else cared to. I spent so much time rationalizing her feelings. trying to empathize. and for what? did we owe each other anything? i didn't recognize the author of the messages i was reading. That was the moment that I realized that it didn't just happen to me. My love had changed her as well. I had given her the experience nesscary to guard her emotions and she had taught me to let my guard down. I don't know who made who worse. I'm scared to know in all honesty.

The story ends with me thanking her for the oppurtunity to "get her out of my system" and going about my way. I think about her often. My first love. I wish I could go back to 2019 and tell myself to make sure to enjoy every moment of her i'd have before it turns into dust. Nowadays every girl is like the new verision of my ex i met last year. Now I wonder did love make them that way as well, and if any of us can ever be saved.

#love #and #love-like #feelings

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bloodsbane · 9 months

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okay i just rewatched the last two episodes of utena, which i think helped me collect my thoughts like... a tiny bit.

anyways i just wanted to get my feelings down really quick, aiming for the broad strokes with my impressions on things, blah blah blah. so big warning for utena spoilers under the cut

okay god so. first of all i loved it. extremely fun show. really cool and interesting. it's got that Older Anime Swag i can't get enough of. easily one of those things where, if i'd watched it when i was younger, it would've seriously restructured my entire brain chemistry. also probably would've realized i liked girls way sooner

there is. A LOT. worth talking about. i don't want to make a massively long post though. trying to be like, as straightforward as possible. not just because otherwise i'd talk forever, but also i honestly don't wanna get into the guts of things TOO much, when im still processing my personal feelings on it, plus i still gotta watch the movie

so i'll just say for now, to me, utena reads as like... something similar to a coming of age story, but not exactly. like a weird divergent cousin. i feel like a lot has to do with themes of like, trauma and how that stunts growth, one's inability to grow up beyond things that happened in our pasts, like death or failure, or even just the fact that you were at some point changed... or actualized, like, made to become aware of reality.

even moreso than growing up or adulthood, the idea of the Revolutionizing the World, which i think v deliberately at first sounds like 'change the world (in a broad, conceptual sense)' but this is something that is like... unattainable. impossible. eternity and miracles. perpetual purity, comfort, safety, a fantasy. even with the prince's sword, akio cannot open the gate. he cannot attain the power of eternity or miracles to become what he once was

if it cannot break its egg shell, a chick will die without being born. we are the chick and the world is our egg. if we cannot break the egg, we will die without being born. smash the world's shell for the revolution of the world.

a lot of my intense interest and confusion over the last third of the show was... character motivations. what did akio want? what was his goal in trying to bring utena to him, but to undermine her desire to become a prince? he wanted the sword of a prince but not for utena to wield it. he said something in the end about... how the power of revolution was too much for her, how it was up to him to decide what to do with it.

and a lot said about how she cant accomplish her goals 'because she's a girl'. she can't hold the sword, can't become the prince, can't save anthy, because she's a girl. and im not saying that's NOT a gender thing, like... obviously, in part. but i fought against that reading a little and came to the conclusion that it's not about being like, a girl as in female. it's about being a girl as in child, or rather, the same girl who wanted to stay inside that coffin, and who arguably never left.

that's a big theme brought up again and again, especially later on... living death, to remain in your coffin: the shell that is your world, and your resting place if you are never able to leave it. cowed by the truth of reality, of death and tragedy and loss and pain. so you stay inside the shell and are never really born. everyone at the school is inside of a coffin, both of their own making and in the grander scheme, because for them, the school is their world

and that's why it's so important that anthy leaves. akio is fighting to open the rose gate, to attain the power of revolution, but i don't think he was able to get it because revolution isn't really what he wants. he wants to go back, to live in the past, to be what he was instead of what he's chosen to be, which he can't fully confront, and so he is stuck and stays in his coffin, the planetarium, the school. living through this fantasy story over and over again but unable to ever break free because of the simple fact that like. he cannot see beyond himself, i guess. as opposed to anthy, who recognized that utena did achieve the power for revolution... by helping anthy out of her coffin. allowing anthy to finally be born...

that's a thing too... i think one of the main things that's really subtly brought up throughout the anime, is this idea of selfishness and being unable to see beyond your own perspective and vision and expectations of the world. and that means an inability to see others clearly. that was a huge thing for anthy and utena near the end. that scene where utena is holding anthy on the roof... and they confess to each other their true feelings (?); i don't know if that was dream or reality, but i believe it was the truth. anthy taking advantage of utena's inability to see beyond herself in order to lead her to this point, and utena's inability to recognize anthy's pain (or even, rather, her ability TO forget anthy's pain) for what it was, and that she really needed from her friend.

there's a weird element i haven't wrapped my head around yet... to do with anthy and her being a witch, the swords she takes for her brother/prince, and his willingness to say that it's what she chose for herself, so she (must?) enjoy being the witch who suffers. maybe it's part of his inability to grow... that he can't take responsibility for anthy's pain (and death?) entirely, though her sacrifice was for him... and it could be part of what had akio lose sight of things

the gate doesn't open for akio, who does not truly crave revolution, only a power he no longer has, and in his way he's gotten so muddled and has grown so (unconsciously?) defeatist about things that he's lost sight of what might have been driving him in the first place - love and a desire to save his sister

but utena, who sees anthy as a child and instantly feels all of her pain, recognizes it, maybe even as her own pain reflected back, weeps for a witch and the door opens for her. and the door is not a gate to power, it's a coffin, with anthy lying inside... waiting to die, or waiting for nothing at all... but-

oh ohhh oh... it's like... akio says something about like, without power you always have to depend on someone else? you can't do anything on your own? maybe a resentment for his tie to anthy even. but like. anthy could never break out of her shell without utena opening the coffin for her, and bringing in the light to help her see the sort of world that waited beyond. she says something like 'don't be afraid of this world where we can meet'...

in an attempt to wrap up, i guess for now i might say... utena is trying to say something about connecting to others, being open to life, but accepting that it includes pain and tragedy and loss. there are things that can and will prevent you from ever truly like... evolving beyond your first stage. becoming your true, entire self. alive, "adult", willing and able to confront the world (beyond your world)...

mm... yeah. i think writing this out has helped me figure out things just a bit. and obviously this is my own interpretation of things, but for now it's what feels right for me, alongside all the meanderings and musings.

gwahhg... movie time i guess. aaa!!!!!

#banebabbles #utena spoilers #rgu spoilers

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katsukikiss · 3 years

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YOU’RE MINE, NOT HIS

CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP// BAKUGO X F!READER

Warning: NSFW 18+, cheating (not really), fingering, unprotected sex

You and Izuku have gotten very close recently while studying together, and a certain someone isnt very happy about it.

AN: Poor Izuku 🥺 I felt so bad writing this, but so good at the same time lol I must write something soon to pay him back//also send me requests for oneshots! im down to try anything you guys might want!

WC: 2k

Masterlist

You and Izuku had a ‘study date’ last night at his house. You were hardly struggling in organic chem, just needed an excuse to come over at this point. You two had been meeting for tutoring sessions for the last two months or so. Your grades had thoroughly improved since then, so most people believed thats all you two were doing; studying. And you were, of course, but as of recently it was a lot more than that. It started with innocent glances at your chest while you took notes, brushing his fingers along your leg when you couldn’t figure out the answer to a question, and you weren’t oblivious. You began to reciprocate the feeling, wearing shorter skirts to bend over and pick up your pencil, laying your hands on his chest when you begged him to give you the answers. He adored the way you looked up at him so innocently, with pleading eyes, desperately needing his help. He loved helping you improve, after all, he wanted you to become a great hero by his side one day.

However, not everyone was oblivious to you and Izuku’s little sessions. Bakugo knew something was going on between you two. He had never seen Izuku so protective over someone the way he was with you. He hated the way the green-haired boy would stare at you with dark eyes when you spoke to another male student. He noticed how he’d always want to be around you, his demeanor changing when you would leave for a different class or when training sessions were split up. Bakugo was utterly disgusted by it, but it gave him an evil idea. ‘She doesn’t belong to him, she never will, I’ll be sure of it’ he thought to himself.

After last nights study session, you failed to realize that you had left your textbook on his bed. He noticed soon after you left and texted you, telling you not to worry and that he’d bring it for you tomorrow morning. You had missed him in the morning though, running late from going to get an iced coffee, so you decided you would get it from his bag in the locker room before your chem class. You both had training but you had to go to a different site with the rest of the girls, while the boys stayed in a closer facility.

Your water quirk meant that you spent a lot of time getting wet, so naturally, your hero suit looked like an elegant yet sexy two piece swim suit. The top was white, long sleeved with a cut out above your breasts and the bottoms were a standard bikini bottom, with sheer white tights that were waterproof. You always felt so weird wearing it during co-ed training sessions, but Momo urged you to feel confident in it, telling you that you looked sooo hot in it. You got to the girls locker room early to slip into your hero suit. You made your way over to the boys locker room and took a peek inside. They all seemed to be out and training already so you snuck inside. You looked around before you spotted his bag, his All Might backpack. You chuckled a bit before bending over to unzip the bag. You grabbed your textbook from it and zipped the bag back up. You stood up to leave but when you turned to face the door, a large figure stood in your way.

“Oi, what do you think you’re doing in here?” the intimidating blonde scoffed at you. You shuffled backwards, clutching your book in your arms. You were sure that everyone had left already, was he here the whole time? He began to step forward before he was standing an inch from you. You looked up to meet his eyes that were piercing down at you.

“And you’ve got your sexy little hero suit on, its almost like you wanted to get caught in here” he laughed with a devilish grin.

“I-I have training to go to. I was getting my textbook from Izuku’s bag” you managed to say. His eyes filled with rage upon hearing his name. He thought of the late nights you two spent together, he imagined Izuku talking down to you, treating you like some helpless puppy, acting like he was some sort of hero, taking advantage of you. You were taken back by the face he made at you. You knew Bakugo hated Izuku, but what did your relationship with him have to do with that? Was he jealous? Or spiteful?

“I dont know what you see in Deku, but I can promise you, you’ll forget all about him after this” Bakugo said in a husky voice. ‘After what?’ you thought. Before you had time to think, his hand was wrapped around your neck as he pulled his lips to yours, crashing the two together. You and Izuku weren’t dating, but something about this felt wrong. You pulled yourself away from him and stepped back.

“Bakugo, w-we shouldn’t, this isn’t right”

“I don’t think you belong to him do you? Come on, I see the way you look at me”

He was right, you do look at him with flirtatious eyes, or at least, you used to. Before you and Izuku started meeting to study, you would fawn over Bakugo. He never seemed to return the feelings however, always picking on you or making fun of you. You deemed that as him being uninterested, so you moved on from your infatuation, but you were very wrong. He never stopped watching over you, showing his affection in his own odd way. But his heart dropped when he realized you didn’t look at him the same anymore, but looked at Izuku that way instead. He couldn’t stand to see you with that nerd when he deserved to have you. You were lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize he had stepped closer to you. You were up against the lockers now, your exposed back grazing the cold metal.

He bent down and whispered seductively in your ear, “Let me make you feel good baby, we don’t have much time in here and I think you should see what a real man feels like”. He pressed his lips to yours, more feverishly this time, as if he was about to lose you. His tongue invaded your mouth and tangled with yours. You didn’t pull away this time so he slipped his hand under your suit and began to grab at your breast. He brought his coarse fingers to your nipples and began gently rolling it around between them. You let out a breathy moan into his mouth. He shuddered at the sound of your voice, he loved hearing you enjoy his touch.

He traced his free hand down your stomach until he got to the waist band of your tight bottoms. You squeeze his shoulder with one hand and run your fingers through his hair with the other. He slipped his hand underneath and started by running his fingers along your folds. He dipped two fingers into your cunt and began to gently pump them in and out of you. He removed his lips from yours, moving down to your neck, sucking and biting at your tender flesh. You let out soft cries as his fingers pick up the pace.

“Tell me what you want” he demanded, looking back up into your eyes. You felt a pang of guilt in your chest as you remembered why you were in the locker room in the first place. Anguish and regret was painted on your face and Bakugo noticed.

“Don’t feel bad baby, what he doesn’t know cant hurt him, now be a good girl and tell me exactly what you want” he said as he plunged another finger inside you. Your legs shook and all your thoughts of Izuku vanished under his touch. He was only trying to comfort you in the moment, but he wanted Izuku to know what you two were doing.

“P-please I want you, I want you i-inside please” you begged. You needed to feel him, you needed him to fuck you.

“I knew it, Deku’s just not doing it for ya is he?” he said with a cocky grin. Truth be told, you and Izuku had never gotten that far before because he was taking things too slow. You desperately needed a good fuck, it had been months since you’ve last felt this good. You knew Izuku would be a gentle sweetheart in the sheets but you needed someone who could do both; fuck you senseless but also make love, and Bakugo could hit both those marks.

He removed his fingers from you as you clenched around the emptiness he left. He pulled your bottoms down and quickly turned you around, pushing your face into the lockers. You hear him fumble to unzip his pants before he prodded his member at your entrance. You couldn’t look back to see exactly how big he was but when he began to drag his cock along your folds, your legs started to tremble. He gathered your slick and pushed into you. You let out a loud cry as your walls grasped onto his girthy cock. He grabbed your wrists and pulled them behind your back, holding them with one hand. He started to violently pound into you, his balls slapping against your swollen lips, echoing in the empty locker room. He used his free hand to reach around and started to swirl his fingers around your sensitive nub. His pace never let up, he started to thrust harder and deeper with every second. Tears started to form as you felt your orgasm coming up.

“Who do you belong to?” he grunted into your ear, his breath hot against your neck.

“You Katsuki, I be-belong to you”

“Thats right babygirl, only me, now cum all over my cock”

Your legs began to quiver and your entire body convulsed. You let out a long cry as your walls clenched and released your juices all over him. He couldn’t take much more after that and removed his hand from your nub before he grabbed at your ass, gripping onto it for dear life. His pace quickened before he quickly pulled out, his cock twitching, warm shots of cum spurting all over your back and ass. He leaned to kiss you on the cheek then walked over to his bag, pulling out a small white towel. You stayed motionless, still with your face pressed against the lockers waiting for him to return. He cleaned you up and turned you around to face him. Realizing how long you two were in there, you quickly pulled your bottoms and tights up, fearful that the other boys would be returning any moment. Bakugo looked disappointed in how rushed you were to leave him. You tried to step forward but he planted a hand next to your head against the lockers. With his other hand he tilted your chin up and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“You know I can tutor you right?” he said with a small smirk. You blushed at the suggestion. You didn’t really need tutoring anymore, but you would love to see him again. Before you could answer you heard a door open. Bakugo removed his arm from the locker and turned to look at who interrupted you two.

“Y/n! Are you okay? Did you find my bag?” he asked sympathetically. You swallowed hard and just nodded, bending to pick up the textbook you had dropped. You quickly scurried to the door before looking back at Bakugo quickly with a stern eye, as if signaling for him to ‘keep his mouth shut’. He looked back at you with a devious smile and a wink before you shut the door.

“What are you doing in here with y/n? What did you do?”

“I just taught her a lesson, I don’t think she’ll be needing your help anymore” Bakugo said with a smug grin before leaving Izuku alone in the locker room.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #izuku fluff

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nsfsprince · 3 years

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An a/b/o idea thats taken over the brain that I wish to write:

Intruxietlogical A/B/O au that's set in a manor or smth?

Theres Alpha!Logan(cismale), head of the manor and a very rich yet young and respectable individual of the city. Hes like 6'4 and handsome as hell, and secretly knows it(due to Remus's persistent courting) but sees no point in personally flaunting it, letting Remus take the lead in that.

Then theres his eccentric Omega spouse, Remus(nonbinary leaning with he/him pronouns), the (in)famous artist of the city. Hes unusually tall for an Omega at 5'10, crude and unworried about fitting the 'normal' societal omega expectation despite also being born to a rich family. He courted Logan, persistantly, as he loved the fact that Logan treated him with the same respect as he would anyone else and never judged Remus for who he was, and the more Logan accepted the courting the more they fell in love before marrying and bonding at like. 23-25?

Well, Virgil is a 5'1 omega(transman with he/him pronouns), age 24. Hes a feisty little thing thats been surviving the streets for too long, he's parentless and, his high anxiety keeps him safer than most omegas on their own but no ones perfect- he ends up almost getting abducted by a sketchy Alpha when a Beta named Patton storms in and saves him.

That's how Patton, Logan's brother, takes him in to treat the sprained wrist he got from the encounter, and for Remus to set eyes on Virgil and immediately decide he wants to keep and court him, too.

I could ramble alot about the months it takes for remus to flirt and fluster and break Virgil out of his shy terrified shell(because hes gone from interacting with fellow street raccoons to very weathy and very Pretty nobility and its. A Lot.

I could ramble about the way both Remus and Logan coax Virgil into staying in their home for more and more ludicrously simple reasons, just to keep courting him, and how Virgil catches on, and flusteredly does nothing to stop it bc he's slowly falling in love too

But what I Really wanna ramble about, is their bedroom dynamics.

Content warning for under the cut: a/b/o dynamics, talk/descriptions of knotting, polyamourus relationships, kinks. Lots of kinks: oralfixation, dom/sub/switch dynamics, praise kink, overstim(lots of overstim), talk of double penatration, p in v sex, ect. Let me know if i missed anything!

MINORS DNI or you will be fully blocked from this blog and my main one.

Logan is a soft but firm dom, always in control and ready to take control. He has a bit of an oral fixation and loves sucking off his loves as often as he can, happy to sate his loves while getting them to soak themselves in fresh slick. He's easily comanding when needed but also enjoys that Remus is more than willing to take control on occasion(see: regularly). He just really really likes taking care of his loves however he can, and aftercare is super important especially after some of their more intense scenes

Remus is a bossy switch, who Loves riding Logan's cock till hes stuck on his knot, or getting fucked up against a wall till his mind turns to jelly. Really likes a bit of primal play, loves riling Logan up with praising how good Logan could breed him(even tho theyre all on birth control so it really is just for the scenes) if he just pins him down and takes. On the flip side, Re also loves pinning Virgil down and driving him crazy, too.

Virgil is a near complete submissive, he's eagar to give and take as ordered and melts at any praise given. Starting out he'd been touch straved beyond belief(which has since been remedied thoroughly) and thus ended up developing a habit of dropping into subspace the moment Logan and/or Remus cradle his neck with both hands. Hes a very affectionate sub who puts so much of his trust and control into Logan and Remus's hands, and both cherish it as Virgil literally never lets his guard down around anyone else.

So, my favorite thing about their dynamic is that Remus still has a decent sized cock despite being an omega, like is actually rather big for Virgil to take, the draw back is just that Remus cant, at least naturally, Knot Virgil like Logan can. (However, its like one of Remus's biggest fantasies to Knot Virgil, and Virgil is totally in the same boat and would be Very on board with it)

This lack of natural knot doesnt stop Remus of course, infact its encouraging because he has a nearly non-existant refractory period so, literally imagine:

Virgil on his back, Virgil's head and shoulders are cradled lovingly in Logan's lap as the alpha occassionally trades kisses with both of his gorgeous omegas. Virgil's legs spread and cunt gently held nice and open by Logan's gentle but firm hands as Remus repeatedly sinks his cock nice and deep into Virgil. Slick soaks Virge and Remus's thighs, his cunt, and Remus's cock.

Every thrust has Virgil whimpering and his legs twitching with the relentless feeling of the head of Remus's cock just barley rutting against his cervix on every other pass. Just the hot way Remus has Virgil pinned into a mating press and obviously working hard to make that position live up to its name, babbling at how good Virgil feels taking his cock like a good little omega, at how easy it is to breed Virgil over and over and over again.

Then Logan enacts this little idea hes been holding onto the moment Remus starts to get close(hes trained Remus well, having helped him train to stall his orgasms for longer and longer because Remus LOVES overstimmulation). He has Remus slow down for just a moment, causing both omegas to whine, before coating two fingers in plenty of slick and slowly pressing them in alongside Remus's cock.

Virgil is slowly losing his mind(as they find out in later sessions that he absolutely has a size kink, and would happily take both their cocks at once any time hes given the chance) at the width, his eyes rolling. Then Remus is told to start thrusting again until he comes, and to ignore Logan's two fingers outside of being careful.

Virgil and Remus are so keyed up that it only takes another minute or so for Remus to start cumming, following Logan's order of pressing all the way inside as deep as he can get, at which point is Logan's cue to start curling his fingers firmly deep inside of Virgils walls.

Immediately, Virgil starts whimpering loudly as he cums, his body reacting the way it would if he were being knotted by an alpha, cunt clenching tight and sucking Remus's cock deeper as his eyes squeeze closed and his jaw fall lax, overwhelmed as his body draws out his orgasm for as long as hes knotted.

Remus is put in a mind-melting world of pleasurable overstimmulation as hes just climaxed and Virgils cunt is milking it for all hes got and he cant even move or pull out now because hes 'locked' inside. His hips and legs are trembling and he's moaning loudly because it's so hot that hes basically getting to Knot Virgil and it feels so good.

Virgil's cunt won't let him go and wont stop pulsing around the head his oversensitive cock and he really cant be faulted for the way he loses control and just keeps orgasming, his lack of refractory period as a keyed up omega just letting him squirt more and more cum and slick deep into the omega under him.

Logan's gentle and soothing, cooing reassurances to his two loves as he helps them lose their minds & fulfil their fantasies. He even uses his free hand to stroke Virgils little cock slowly, drawing out shaking whines from both of them as it makes Virgil clench harder in intervals. Remus ends up hunched over Virgil, his face tucked into his fellow omega's neck to muffle his overstimulated whimpers.

Logan draws it out for a minute or two, just until pleasured and overwhelmed tears picks at their eyes and their soft begging whimpers and mewls fill the room before slowly releasing the hold, letting the string of tension snap and watching them unravel and relax, finishing their peaks.

Remus cant help the way he struggles to pull out, so oversensitive that his hips keep hitching back in place with the way Virgils body tries to keep him there, needing Logan to pull their hips apart to fully end the scene.

Logan strokes and comforts both exhausted omegas, now fully in his element, cooing soft reassurances to both, getting up to start a bath and carefully guiding them both in and cleaning them up. The sheets are changed and both are put in soft clothing and given juice and cuddles.

Remus would probably make a comment on asking drowsily just how Logan deals with being knotted to him for in upwards of 30 minutes if it feels like /That/ the whole time. Logan would probably just smile sweetly and press a sweet kiss to his lips and say "with experience of course, perhaps we can work on that too, if the both of you would be so inclined?"

Virgil shutters and whines, too tired to get worked up again, Remus in a similar boat but nodding drowsily anyway. Remus probably wakes up sore and gets worked up all over again at the memory of why his cock of all things is sore and sensetive.

Perhaps they do work on it, perhaps Remus is trained to a take it little longer each time, no where near half an hour for the longest time, but he gets pretty close and much better at holding from losing his mind.

Maybe then they explore what it feels like for Remus to be stuck on Logan's knot, while Virgil is stuck on Remus's 'knot' with the help of a toy. Maybe then they also explore working Virgil up to take both of their cocks, and see what happens what Logan's fingers curl just right to trigger that knotted feeling to have Virgil lose his goddamn mind impaled on both their cocks as they slowly thrust in and out despite his body thinking he's already been knotted and reacting as such.

Maybe they even explore working Virgil's other hole open, just enough to take Logan's knot, and give Remus free reign to fuck Virgil's soaking trembling cunt until they can coax Virgil's cunt into taking Remus's 'knot' as well

Idk man. Just. This whole dynamic has so many hot possibilities. 💕💕💕

#not safe for sanders #nsfs virgil #nsfs logan #nsfs remus #nsfs analomus #lodukexiety #whats their ship name??#prince writes #abo au #ask to tag #edit to add the content warning bc i hadnt had time earlier to remember it let alone put it in

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

Note

OH ANTONI 🥺🥺🥺 my poor baby. I hope he will find it within himself to come clean to Jake or SOMEONE about this :((((

(((ALSO CANT WAIT FOR MORR))))

One Two Three Four Five Six

CW: Wound cleaning, burns, touch aversion, aftermath of torture, BBU, conditioned fucky headspace

"Lift your chin for me," she commands, and he doesn't really remember that he could choose not to obey.

Antoni dutifully shifts, his eyes moving to roam over a line of framed photographs along the wall behind her. A wedding photo, faded with time, a much, much younger version of the woman currently dabbing a cotton ball dipped in something cold and stinging to the fresh burn on his throat with a man he's never seen. The two of them are smiling, holding hands, looking right into the camera.

Bright white wedding dress turned cream with yellowing paper, with time, covered in lace. Powder-blue tuxedo. Brilliant smiles.

She touches the cotton ball to his skin and he hisses, hands tightening where they grip the edges of the chair he's sitting on. The sting rockets through him, only a pale echo of the original pain, but it's enough.

It's enough.

Fuck, that's hot.

He catches the sob before it can leave his throat, forces the burn behind his eyes to stay there and not turn into tears. He will not cry over this again.

Not now.

"There we go, just a bit more," She says, her voice gruffly compassionate. She presses a small rounded bandage against his throat, her fingertips are warm against his neck.

His skin crawls at even this slight, indirect touch, but he doesn't protest.

He wouldn't dare.

"All done. That's not s'bad, I think with a good bandaging it won't scar half so bad as all its little friends down south," She mutters, more to herself than him, really.

Where her fingers touch, he feels the echoes of other hands around his throat. Thicker fingers, heavy with rings. Smiling down at him.

Beg for me, love.

"Please-" It's automatic. He's drifting, in and out of this old kitchen that still looks like it must have looked thirty years ago, when the man in the wedding photo would still be here maybe cooking or cleaning or chatting up a storm to anyone who popped by for a visit.

"Hm? You say something, sweetheart?" Miss Ruth looks at him, and those dark eyes are shrewd. They know more than anyone is supposed to, they know things Nat hasn't told her. Hasn't had to.

"Ah, no," He whispers. "Just. I am very tired."

"No doubt. I'll finish these up and you can get back to your own bed and no doubt you'll be glad to get there." She looks him over, and his eyes dance to hers and away again. Back to the photos.

He sees a family photo, the two people from before and a daughter and son. Everyone is smiling, looking carefully just off to the side. They wear matching outfits.

"Get a look at 'em?"

There's a 35th wedding anniversary picture with a big banner behind the happy couple. The two people, much older, stand in front a cake nearly as tall as they are, surrounded by others. Everyone in the photo smiles in sort of the same way.

The next photo is a birthday, he thinks. There's a boy and a young baby in the photo, and the man from wedding and anniversary photo isn't there. Miss Ruth, holding her grandbaby he thinks, is wearing all black. The photo was taken in a church, and there's a spray of white lilies just visible at the edge of the picture.

Another, with Jaden, who Chris plays basketball with. The kid who more or less effortlessly opened his life for Chris when Chris badly needed a friend his own age, or closer to it, to remember what being a kid was like.

He is reading, in images, the story of this woman's adult life. Marriage, and death, and birth. Children. Life going on.

A life he won't have, that he gave up every possibility of having, because of... of whatever is inside him that Mr. Davies knew about, that the people who just hurt him could see in him even though he cannot see it himself.

He must look like someone who deserves to be hurt.

"Young man." She taps on the back of his hand and he flinches, blinking at her, struggling to pull himself out of his reverie. Her words filter through his mind, shift into the language all his thoughts are moving in, come back out in hers. He swallows, feeling a lump in his throat that refuses to move.

"I'm... sorry," He says softly, with difficulty. "I did not hear."

"I can tell. I asked did you get a good look at whoever did this to you." Her eyes roam over his chest, his stomach. The circle of new burns, placed so carefully compared to the haphazard placement Mr. Davies had favored, no pattern at all. "Looks like they took their damn time, anyway, to get you so much."

"N-... no." Antoni's eyebrows furrow, and he tries to think, but all he can remember is their hands holding the lit cigarettes, the quiet one touching his face, ruffling his hair. He can't... he can't remember their faces at all. "I am sorry."

You're fucking gorgeous, buddy, you know that?

"Hm." If she's disappointed in him, nothing changes about her expression, still held in a kind of skeptical compassion as she wets a new cotton ball in liquid from a small frosted plastic bottle and touches it to each burn, one by one, in the circle. It's like a ritual, the sting, washing away a bit of sin with each hint of pain. He clothes his eyes and breathes carefully through it.

When he is done, each circle covered with a bandage that is shades darker than his skin, she steps back to look him over, critically. She steps away and he takes in deep breaths free of her air, the powdery scent of her. He breathes in her absence, no one nearby.

She returns with a washcloth and he takes it, scrubs at his face until his cheeks are red but clean, until you can't tell anymore that he cried while they burned him.

Good boy.

"You can stay here," She says, voice low now. "Sleep it off for a while. I've got a guest room."

"No. No, I will go home. Thank you. I will... I want to go home." He looks out the kitchen window right at Nat's house next door. No lights are on... yet. But there isn't much time before they will be.

"Fair enough. You plan to tell 'em what happened to you?"

He looks back at her, searches for the judgement, finds none.

"No," He says. Confesses, really, his sin. "I will not."

I will lie to them.

"That's your choice to make, I suppose." She lays a hand on his arm. He doesn't pull away from her. He wants to unzip himself from his skin and step out of it, let them all have what they seem to want to touch so much.

Instead, he holds himself perfectly still, until she pats him a few times and steps away again.

"I've done what I can do. You come back over here tomorrow or the day after and we'll look 'em over again and make sure they're healing up nice, you got me?"

"Yes," He says. He is good. He can be good.

"Right. Off you go, then, before your people wake up and you get to come up with a story about why you're in an old widow's house at 4:30 in the morning, hm? You're pretty enough, but you're no Wilbur." She laughs to herself, a dry and crackly sound, and he thinks that her laugh was the sort that could set a whole crowd to laughing, when she was young.

It still is.

The corners of his mouth twitch in an answering smile.

"Yes, ma'am," he says, and pushes himself off the edge, standing up again. No one has seen his scars, no one but this old neighbor woman who looks at them like they are simply part of living, not something to be pitied. "I go. S-... thank you."

"Paugh." She scoffs, waves a hand in dismissal. "Go on, now. You've thrown off my morning coffee time. Tell your young man that Jaden will be over this afternoon."

She all but shoos him out the door, and the air is clear and clean and quiet. The only dirty thing is Antoni himself, smudged and mussed, still feeling in his scalp the prickles of Quiet One's hands, still feeling on his arms the sharp pressure of the shirt tied around his wrists.

Still aware of every single burn under the slight pull of the bandages pressed over them, the gentle sting that feels like a return to how he was always meant to be.

Even the walk from one yard to another feels like too much. Antoni's eyes move over the empty darkened windows of the houses all around him. How obvious he must be, if three people saw him in the darkness and knew him for a pet pretending to be human.

He shouldn't have left, shouldn't have gone on those walks. He'd left himself open and vulnerable, hadn't he? His scars are deeper than skin, and they must shine like the streetlights to anyone who knows what to look for.

Antoni stops at the porch, where he carefully lifts a loose bit of board from the porch railing, finds the small box hidden inside. The slightest scrape of metal on metal as he pulls off the lid makes him freeze, but no one is awake to hear it. He takes the contents of the box, moves it quickly back to its hiding place, replaces the board.

Like nothing ever happened.

Everything can be made as good as new, as long as it isn't him.

He slips inside the safehouse, where everything is still quiet, in the silent inhale that comes before the exhalation of morning. The clock in the kitchen reads 4:45, fifteen minutes until Jake's alarm will go off, until he - and likely Chris - will stir.

Fifteen minutes for Antoni get upstairs and look so deeply asleep that no one will realize he was ever gone.

No time to shower.

He will have to sleep with the grime of their hands still ground deep into every single pore. He will sleep with Deep Voice's we know what you are in his ears, with Quiet One's fingers tangled in his hair, running over his skin. He will sleep with Lookout's eyes locked on his chest as he presses the cigarette in.

Antoni hasn't worn a collar in years now, but he buckles it on, just one notch too tight like Mr. Davies would have, and climbs under the covers, pulling them over his head.

He breathes in as deep as he can, to feel the constriction. Breathes out, and runs his hand up over his chest, over the bandages that cover his burns.

They knew what he was.

Everyone always will.

Good boy.

The ashtray falls asleep humming a lullaby, afraid that if he pulls the blankets back down he will see bars on the windows.

#antoni sings lullabies #aftermath of injury #caretaker and whumpee #fucky headspace #bbu #box boy #box boy universe #pet whump #internal dehumanization #(a little bit)#touch aversion #touch averse #recovering whumpee #wound cleaning #hurt/comfort #angst #angst angst angst #come get y'all angst #whump

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sunarinexe · 3 years

Text

haikyuu boys looking after their sick s/o ♡

ft: oikawa t. , bokuto k. , kenma k. , atsumu m. , kuroo t.

tooru oikawa ~

omg caring boyf!

very lightly scolds you for not looking after yourself, to which you look at him like 😐

boy cant say shit

overall very good at looking after you and knows exactly how to cheer you up!

gets pouty when you say you cant cuddle because then he might get sick :(

it was lowkey tooru's fault that you were sick in the first place. you were supposed to meet him at the school gates after his practice. when you arrived there were a few grey clouds in the sky but you didn't think much of it as you weren't supposed to be waiting that long.

But after about 10 minutes of waiting, you felt little rain droplets land on your head. Not even 5 minutes later, the light rain had turned into a full blown storm. You ran to a shelter, but your uniform was already soaked. You could already feel shivers running up your spine as you tried to dry yourself and preserve your body heat.

By the time Tooru found you, you were shaking from the cold but you're cheeks and forgead were burning up. "y/n-chan! oh god, are you okay? you're soaking!" you were so frustrated with him for taking this long but all you wanted was to go home. you looked up at tooru as he brushed your damp hair out of your face. " i was waiting for your practice to end but you were probably doing extra practice again, weren't you?" you challenged him. tooru's eyes widened and he pulled you into a hug. "come on, let's get you home baby".

As soon as you walked throught the door, you were stripped of your damp uniform and ushered into a warm shower. You felt a little better afterwards but your nose and eyes were still pretty watery and your fever wasnt going down much.

Tooru wrapped you in a blanket burrito for your shivering body and pressed a cool damp cloth against your forehead for your fever. With some of your favourite snacks next to you on a coach and a cheesy sci-fi movie on the tv, you leaned against Oikawa with his arm draped around your shoulder. He patted your head every now and then with the occasional head kiss until you fell asleep.

(side note: he carried you to bed and tried to cuddle up and nap with you, but you woke up and told him he wouldn't be able to play volleyball if he got sick. that shut him up real quick but wouldn't make his pout go away 🥺)

koutarou bokuto ~

would be SO pouty if you didnt show up for school one day bc u were sick

leaving poor akaashi to deal with his slump :(

originally tried to leave school to come see you but you said you would lock your door if he left 🥺

he just wants to help

would literally BOLT to your house as soon as he could

"BABY WHERE ARE YOU?!"

You were woken from your nap to a bang of your front door and Kou shouting for you. However, due to your sore throat you couldnt really answer, so you sort of just waited for him to find you like a puppy. You could hear his heavy footsteps running around the house, opening every door looking for his beautiful s/o.

When your bedroom door flew open, you saw a disheveled Bokuto, his uniform a mess and his hair droopy. His eyes lit up when he saw you and a big grin formed on his face. "BABY! OH MY GOSH I WAS SO WORRIED ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED ANYTHING??" he yelled rushing towards you and jumping onto your bed next to you to embrace you. Not hearing an answer, he looked up at you with some confusion. "Baby?". You sighed and pointed to your throat, indicating you couldn't talk without it hurting. Don't worry because Bokuto is a firm believer that kisses and cuddles are the best medicine for any sickness! He talked your ear off while holding you close, chatting about his day and his teachers and how he landed a killer spike in practice, all the while you hummed and traced random shapes on his chest.

(side note: dont even try to tell kou you cant cuddle because you're sick. this man will NOT listen)

kozume kenma ~

pls he probs wouldnt even notice you werent watching their practice until kuroo or lev pointed it out

that's weird you caught the train to school with him this morning?

he'd text you after practice asking you were you were to which you replied "oh i went home bc i threw up in the bathroom lmao im ok tho 🥰"

he didn't believe you were okay for a second you just didnt want him to worry.

hed stop by a convenience store on the way to your house to pick up some snacks and drinks you like for when you feel better.

and just rocks up to your door unannounced 🤪

"kenma? what are you doing here?" you asked the boy stood awkwardly at your front door. kenma knew he was right, you definitely didnt look okay. you were pretty pale and wrapped up in layers of jumpers and blankets but you looked sweaty at the same time.

without saying anything, he gently pushed you to your bed after shutting the door behind him. he took off his backpack and school blazer and v-neck, laying them on your desk chair. he took out the bag of goodies and his game from his backpack and sat against the headboard of your bed, all without saying anything. you were about to question him again when you were pulled backwards and laid down in between his legs, your back against his chest and his head sat softly atop of yours. gently wrapping his arms around you, with his game in his hand, you watched him play quietly, sometimes asking questions about it which he happily answered and even offered you a go as long as you didnt mess up his score. every once in a while, hed feed a snack into your mouth while watching you play in his lap. <3

atsumu miya ~

this dude turned up at your front door like he did every morning to walk to school with you and samu.

however, when you came outside in your uniform, he immediately noticed you were most certainly NOT well.

mother fucker hoisted you over his shoulder and walked you back inside, all the while shouting to samu to 'cover for him at school'

the audacity of this bitch

after realizing what was happening, you started punching tsumu's back and ordering him to put you tf down. "sorry doll, but i wouldnt be much of a good bf if i let 'ya go to school sick, now would i?". you just went limp in his arms and accepted your defeat.

he took you into the kitchen and sat you on the countertop, giving you a quick peck on your nose before turning round and rummaging around in cupboards to find medicine. after finding the right one, he coaxes you into taking it because apparently "'ya may be his baby but 'ya cant act like one when you're the same age as him" (🙄).

proceeds to try and cook you some nice food but apparently he doesnt share his twin's cooking talent. so he sheepishly orders delivery after you convinced him to give it up. carries you up to bed AGAIN even though you tell him you're perfectly capable of walking up the stairs. throws pyjamas at you and orders you to change while he just changes it to what was supposed to be today's practice clothes, which reminds you to scold him for ditching school. pulls you onto his lap and shuts you up with a kiss. keeps trying to make out with you but you tell him you cant because you're sick. acts SUPER pouty about it but practically chucks you off of his knee onto the floor when he hears the doorbell for the food.

tetsuro kuroo ~

was high-key very worried when you didnt show up at your date as planned.

got scares and ran to your house to see if u were okay

(has a spare key aw)

he quietly called out your name to see if you were there.

not getting a response he cracked open your bedroom door to see you curled up under the covers fast asleep with the curtains closed despite it being 1pm.

after rubbing your eyes to wake up properly, you checked your phone. you tensed up after seeing the time and loads of missed calls and texts from 'tetsu <3'. you slapped your forehead, cursing yourself even though it wasnt really you're fault. you just get extremely tired when you're sick and tend to sleep a lot.

you jumped up out of bed, trying to ignore the dizziness in your head as you frantically searched for some clothes. however, darkness clouded your vision for a few seconds and you fell out cold onto your bedroom floor.

you woke up for a second time to tetsu's worried face and him shaking you awake. you stared back groggily at him. "tetsu... TETSU?!" you cried, your eyes shooting open. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IM SORRY FOR BEING LATE WE CAN STILL GO OUT RIGHT?". Kuroo looked at you super confused. "kitten, why are you apologising? you can't help that you were sick and no absolutely not we cant go out you're staying here you clearly need rest." he said while picking you up bridal style and tucking you back into the bed covers. "now wait here, i made your favourite, let me go get it before it does cold"

babyed you when he came back, blowing on your food if it was hot and feeding it to you. constantly giving you little pecks. when you finished he put the dishes in the kitchen sink, opting to wash up when you fell asleep again which he was determined to be in his arms this time <3

#oikawa headcanons #haikyuu imagines #kenma fluff #oikawa fluff #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #kuroo testuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo scenarios #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsurō #atsumu scenarios #atsumu fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader

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thesevenumbrellas · 3 years

Text

@random-nerd-3 came up with a dark!AU where Caleb is emotionally abusive towards Willie, so I came up with a few hc.

TW: ABUSE, PANIC ATTACKS

We definitely see the emotional manipulation already in canon with him using Alex against him and also threatening to stop him skateboarding.

Caleb convincing Willie that it’s for his own good because if he left he might get in trouble and he’s already died once and he let everyone down when he died, hurt so many people from being stupid and careless, wouldn’t it just be better if Caleb was in charge?

Willie breaking down one day because he’s so used to being told he’s doing everything wrong that it’s moved past anxiety to just acceptance. Like he knows he does everything wrong so there is no changing it so he doesn’t care. But Alex is so genuine with his compliments that it’s overwhelming. Usually he just brushes them off but one day Alex looks so so earnest and just says “you’re amazing” and that’s all it takes for Willie to start sobbing because he’s not and he doesn’t understand why Alex believes that. He feels like he’s lying to Alex somehow but he doesn’t know how. And that’s when Alex realizes that Caleb is a problem.

Willie who doesn’t realize that Caleb is emotional abusive until Alex explains that’s exactly what his own parents did to him. And Willie being angry for Alex but can’t be angry for himself. Because he’s so used to it and doesn’t understand that he is worth the anger.

Willie arguing with Alex that Alex doesn’t get it but Alex is super patient and understanding cuz he went through the same thing so he slowly goes over every single reason why Willie deserves love and safety.

Willie being touchstarved from after years of being locked up in the club without anyone.

Alex starts to always *always* touch Willie even if it’s just a hand gently on his arm or their pinkies linked. They never let go of each other.

EXCEPT when Willie gets overwhelmed and then he will tap Alex twice to show that he needs a break and Alex will let go immediately.

Willie asking Alex permission to do simple things like enter the room or offer his opinion but it’s done really subtle so Alex doesn’t even notice until AFTER the big talk and he has to sit Willie down AGAIN and explain he doesn’t have to ask permission because they always want to hear his thoughts. And this turns into Alex encouraging the band to ask Willies’ opinions on stuff so THEN Willie starts offering lyrics or places to play and becomes a huge influence in their music.

Willie not liking to stay inside even to listen to them practice because he’s conditioned to think of inside as belonging to Caleb where as outside the club he’s free. Which is also why he only likes to break into empty places even tho lifers can’t see him anyway. So Alex notices that and asks if they can practice with the garage door open and they move the couch outside so then Willie starts watching more.

And Carlos joins and even tho Carlos doesn’t know Willie is there they sit next to each other all the time and Willie will joke along with him.

Setback days where they go find a forest or somewhere outside away from people. Alex skips practice. They go and lay in the grass and sometimes they hold hands or cuddle but sometimes Willie can’t stand it so then they just lay side by side. Sometimes they talk together but sometimes Willie cant even speak, so the Alex fills in the gaps. He tells Willie every funny story he can remember from practice and every good moment they’ve had as a band.

Willie has learned not to believe words, because Caleb lies all the time. He doesn’t believe it when caleb says good job or “I’m not mad” because it’s always a double sided sword. So when Alex figures this out they develop a touch system instead. Two taps means he’s overwhelmed, but there’s more. Two brushes on the arm is him asking Alex if he’s mad, and then alex will either verbalize what’s bothering him (usually anxiety wise) or squeeze willies wrist once.

Another sign they develop later on is when willie isn’t sure what the boys are talking about. Like if they’re being affectionate with each other but Willie doesn’t quite understand. Or if they’re joking with him and he doesn’t quite get it. He has literally not socialized with anyone “his age” in decades and Caleb was always dangerous to talk to. The dancers and singers knew better than to develop friendships. To Willie starts to tap Alex three times if he needs something explained later. Then Alex will have to explain sometimes something simple “no Reggie and Luke don’t actually hate each other they were just bickering over song titles it’s okay they’ll be best friends again after they wrestle over it.” But sometimes it’s heartbreaking. “No Luke still likes you even though you didn’t laugh at his joke fast enough. He didn’t notice I promise and even if he did, that’s not something he would ever be angry at you for.”

Willie doesn’t have panic attacks like Alex does so he never had any idea they were panic attacks. There’s no actual panic. In fact it’s the opposite. He goes emotionally numb and just shuts down. He can’t talk, can’t do much, he just feels as if he’s shut up in his own brain. So when this first happens Alex recognizes it instantly because at least some of it is familiar. He poofs Willie away without a word to the boys and brings them to a quiet spot. Then he steps a few feet away and just talks Willie through it. It’s over an hour later when Willie feels well enough to actually speak but then he’s brushing it off like “oh I’m fine that just happens sometimes.” And Alex has to explain “Babe that was a panic attack.”

After that they add ANOTHER signal of just one tug on a sleeve. They both use it on each other and it means “I am about to have a panic attack.” Then they’ll make some sort of excuse and poof the other out

Anyway Willie relearning what love and safety means with Alex there to support him.

#Willie whump #jatp #julie and the phantoms #willex #Willie jatp #Willie/Alex #Alex jatp #ask to tag #abuse tw #panic attack tw #gaslighting tw

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

April Teaser Collection!

Here is the latest peek at my stuff sitting on my pc that will hopefully be finished over the next few weeks. I hope you find something that tickles your pickle. below the cut are The Stand In, It’s A Match, Deliverance, Mans False God, Gloria Regali.

But instead of being managing to be all sneaky and close the door hiding henry in your room like a naughty teen with her boyfriend Henry was up and awake.

"Aha! Gotcha! Who said you could sneak out of bed this morning baby? I was lonely with out you~" you screamed and just about jumped out of your skin as Henry wrapped himself around you from behind dragging you back into him, nuzzling into your neck pressing an open mouthed kiss to it. Your shout of surprize had silenced both of the women's chatter making them jump, even Kal came darting back in gruffing as he leapt up the stairs heckles and tail raised and growling on high alert. Fuck.

"now why cant i get a good morning like that?" Tee giggled crossing her arms at the both of you, your mother eyed you both with a knowing grin and hummed agreeing. Henry snapped his head up and gulped. Fuck. You and henry stood still for a few seconds far to shocked at being caught with your pants down so to speak. You shifted on your feet but henry held you still hands on your hips using you to shield his nude form from your guests he hadn't known were there.

"O-oh shit- err good morning ladies!" He said turning red his voice higher than usual as he shuffled backward taking you with him. As he tried saving his modesty, he didn't take the covers with him because- well he had thought it was only you on the bus!

"I err- shit i didn't see you there... Sorry about almost flashing you both like that..." he said with an uneven tone tip toeing back into the room, still holding you at his crotch hiding the once half hard- now softening cock.

"Good girl, where's your mother? Hmm? Your not supposed to be out and about alone are you?" Henry spoke slowly digging his fingers into the dense soft fur managing to find and hold the collar below the thick fur, then he leant down scooping up the lead what was still attached to her. Kal grunted and sat on the floor leaning his weight on henry's leg. Henry looked down and patted Kal scratching his ears chuckling. Kal's eyes still wide taking in the larger dog in front of him, it was comical Kal was used to being the biggest bear... but he was a good four to five inches shorted then this magnificent grey floofer.

"Kal, you okay there bud?... year she really is big isn't she, you best behave don't want her telling you off do you?" He spoke slowly calming both pups... and gosh did Kal look like a pup compared to her. Slowly both dogs leaned towards one another sniffing the air then with a happy yip Amii began licking kal... like a pup. Henry burst out laughing it was too sweet watching Amii sniff around his bear, whilst Kal sent his human a look clearly pleading for help as this new huge female smothered him with affection. But henry wasn't falling for it, Kal was wagging his tail just as excited to make a new freind.

Honestly henry was glad, akitas were fickle. They either liked you or they didn't. He got the feeling Kal would like this gentle giant for now he was a little awe struck over being smaller then something.

"Clark? Clark come and help me- I cant reach the milk! Its at the back again!" Martha said quietly you smiled. It took a lot of coaxing but you had indeed tried what Clark had explained as 'cow juice' and had developed a taste for it. So Martha had promised you milk every day if you liked. Which you did like. A lot. Clark pressed another kiss to you and walked off towards the milk refrigerators expecting you to follow.

You made to follow but a sweet scent hit you and you stopped mid step. It was wonderful and ripe, sweet and succulent. You pivoted and followed without much thought. Your feet found there way twisting around the display of 'leafy greens' to a bright colourful isle. You salivated at the smells. There were so many intoxicating scents you didn't know what to look at first.

You pressed a hand on a small net package full of strange green fuzzy balls. Kiwi's? You read and scrunched your face up at the peculiar name. Then plucked the bag up and held it to your nose sniffing. They smelled divine, like a type of food from home. Okriin a small soury sweet treat given to children on their birthing date. You sniffed again and almost cried. It was so similar but so different sweeter and fuller in the scent. You cautiously sniffed again and closed your eyes before tentativly prodding it with your tongue wanting to see if it tasted the same.

"y/n? Y/n?!- oh god there you are? What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack" Clark said racing towards you his mother behind him with the cart. He slid to a stop and blinked at you. As you scrunched up your nose.

"the texture of these are... Not very nice?" you said naively moving for the fruit again sticking your tongue out once more trying to discern if it was edible like this. Clark moved quickly gasping holding your hands that had the.. Kiwi's in it.

"no no.. No we- you don't eat them like that... You peel them and eat the inside, and we don't lick things in the shop okay?" he explained plucking the fruit from you and placed them in the cart, Martha chuckled into her chest she couldn't help it, you were extremely cute.

Kal proped himself up on his side and smiled sadly nodding. He knew. He knew the state they found you in was their fault. Thats why he was so adamant to look after you now to... make amends in a way. You'd proved you could barely survive on your own. But Kal was also angry; angry that you'd been abandoned, he had thought Bruce would atleast put something in place to look after you but he hadn't. Bruce hadn't helped you, he to busy saving his own skin and trying to fight him and the new regime. But he was more angry at himself you had been alone, with no means to protect yourself or really survive. And he should have known! He should have realised you were scared, that you would stay away from the new citizen system he put in place. That you'd fear being caught and killed like many of the others.

"I know, but we have her now... its going to be better now, we are going to right the wrongs love... we can give her the best life look after her and nothing will ever hurt our little one again" his voice was strained his face in firm lines, hard and stone like. He truly was a god, carved in marble. Perfect. Diana nodded laying back curling herself around you. Kal drew a deep breath and shuffled closer winding his arms around his family, holding both his girls.

He chuckled when you grunted pouting in your sleep when he sandwiched you between Diana and himself. Trying to wriggle fee from the group hug. But once again you settled after a few moments relaxing as you were now being warmed from both sides a small smile graced your face. Kal grinned and nuzzled the back of your head pressing chaste kisses to your bed ridden hair, he felt at peace having you here with him. And he meant what he said no one will ever touch his little babygirl.

"what wrong? Whats going on?" you spoke quietly trying not to stare at the clearly sick monarch. You didn't want to see it, you didn't want to think of the implications of the illness he was clearly suffering.

"nothing gets past you does it my girl?" your father spoke jovially trying to lighten the mood but failed miserably, his chuckles dying off fairly quickly and he heaved a sigh. Your uncle broke the silence and your fathers hand slid to yours under the table and squeezed your fingers tightly trying to reassure you.

"I have summoned you here to discuss something that... Is very serious and the outcome will change the lives of many people. This is something.. I wished I could hold off but I'm afraid I cannot firefly" you bit your lip and braced yourself. This was bad news you could tell. A part of you thought for a moment of marriage, your gut churned at the thought and you felt sick all of a sudden. Where you being married off as a pawn? It was likely, it still happened even in this day and age it was just covered up with fairytale romance... Story book meetings and courtships, when in reality you were told that your to marry and that was the end of it.

"Y/n you are royalty. You were born in to a royal blood line that has ruled over this kingdom for nearly four centuries... And now it is time for you to take your place within it and do your duty" your father stated in his 'work' voice for the time being he was not your father, he was a prince. Heir to the throne and head of your family. And you were to listen and obey.

"You want to give me duties as a working royal?" you said sitting straighter only quivering slightly. You dreaded this, the publicity the duty and responsibility that you'd managed to avoid so far. But you knew one day you would have to take your place.

"yes dear. We need you. Now" your father said urgently, but there was something off. Like he was holding back, fearfull in a sense and it was not like him.

"Of course i will. Father I'm no fool I understand what my position requires of me and i will serve my country. You need only ask and I will obey. I only ask that i be given time to sort things out with the university security and such would need to be increased if they are having a working royal on campus-"

"I'm afraid its not as simple as that we... Are asking you to put your studying off" your uncle interrupted you making you frown. What? You furrowed your brow and made to shake your head but paused. It made sense... If you were to come and take on duties then the media may go wild and cause an uproar... They could cause issues on campus

"How long for?" you asked trying your hardest not to frown at your father and uncle

"Indefinitely.." the king replied holding your gaze firmly. it was then you knew this was serious, more so then anything you’d experienced before.

#oh for fic sake teaser #oh for fic sake fic #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #clark kent x you #superman x you

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anne-white-star · 3 years

Text

Band queen x ghost!reader a night at the opera

Notes : Reader is a ghost from the late 1890s she was found dead in her dressing room after a show where she sung a opera and played the piano, in the early 70s during the begining days of queen the band is practicing in the opera hall where there will be a show (they play songs from the album night at the opera) later that night and the reader is curious what that beautyfull sound is thats coming from the stage. Takes place at the royal opera house in london.

This might suck sorry guys but enjoy reading anyway

This isnt recorded its just for a story i hope you guys enjoy reading

Warnings : non

Words : 1347

(Gif isnt mine)

"So Freddie tell me why are we here?" Asked Brian as he caried his guitar

"Well you see our concert will be given here"

"But why at the royal opera house?" asked roger a little bit anoyed

"Because of our album a night at the opera, don't tell me you don't find it the right setting for it rog"

"I find it a good idea" John said while walking up to the door and opening it

"Tonight there will be an concert given here i always wanted to do something like this" (this is not recorded its just a story)

"Hello you guys must be queen" im Eric the owner of the building (I made that up)

"Hello Eric, yes you got that corect"

"So you will be preforming here tonight, thats something Difrent usaly we only have clasical music playing here" he said while walking them to the opera grandeur (hope i got that corect)

"Changes have to be made somethimes" said Freddie as he walked up on the stage "how many people can fit in here?"

"About 2.256"

"Alright Good to know that"

"You guys can park your van in the back and acses your instruments from there, any other Question?"

"No but if we do we let you know thank you"

"You're welcome and good luck"

"Alright let us get our stuff set up" Brian said as he walked trough the back door "

Once everything was set up And all the instruments were tuned they started to practice"

Roger picked up his drum sticks "Alright wich song first fred?"

"How about sweet lady?"

"Sure why not"

"Alright lets start"

🎶Ooh, I like it

You call me up and treat me like a dog

You call me up and tear me up inside

You've got me on a lead

You bring me down, you shout around

You don't believe that I'm alone

Ooh, you don't believe me

Sweet lady

Sweet lady (sweet lady)

Ooh, stay sweet🎶

As the music played trough the opera hall unknown to them somone had heared them play,

at the top of the third row of seats sat a woman dressed in a late Victorian yellow dress with white gloves, she had long hair

The woman wore it losely with soft pink roses tucked in it, she also had a diamond necklace around her nek.

This woman had never heared anything like this, she also hasnt seen Anything like the instruments they are using.

Out of the cornor of Brian his eye he saw somone sit at the row of the balcony

"Hey excuse me you up there, the opera house isnt open for visitors yet"

The woman gasped out of shock that somone saw her, then all the lights started to flicker and And she vanished

"What the hell" Freddie said out of shock

"Did you see that?" John backed away

"Oh yeah i did"

"Wait i have the feeling i have seen her before" Brian placed his guitar on the guitar stand and walked behind the curtans, the others decided to follow, they all walked to the wall and there hung a plate

"the lady in the yellow dress also known as the opera singer y/n y/l/n, y/n was murdered at the royal opera house after one of her performance back in 1890, an unknown man had made his way backstage and killed her in her dressing room, the man was never found"

"Thats her.... wait does that mean?"

"I guese it does Fred"

"A ghost?!"

"Wel its logical this place hasnt been altered at all So all the energy is still stored here"

The boys turned around to the sound of Brian his guitar sounding, they went back to the stage and saw the ghostly figure of a woman toutching the strings of the guitar

"Excuse me" freddie took a step forward

The woman gasps

"Don't worry we arn't going to Harm you we just want to talk"

"Who are you? "

"Im Freddie Mercury and these are my friends john deacon , Brian may and roger taylor

The girl let her guard down "hello my name is y/n" she gave a small bow

"So its true you still haunt this place after all these years"

"Yes unfortanetly i can't leave, my murder hasnt been solved so i cant go on but its not as boring here as you think"

"Have you ever seen instruments like this y/n?" Asked Brian as he picked up his guitar

"No never but it sounds very magical"

"You might have heared of an guitar, this is an electric guitar it uses electrisety to be played"

"Oh i would love to hear some more of your electric guitar"

"Of course" Brian started to play a sweet melody

Y/n claped " that sounded wonderfull, what about the other instruments?"

"John playes the bass it also needs electrisety, and roger playes the drums"

"What about mr Mercury?"

"Oh darling im the most important one of all im the front man of the band i sing the songs"

"You have a wonderfull voice mr Mercury"

"Why thank you dear, tell me when you were alive you played the piano right? "

"Oh yes i did it was my life i started at a young age"

"Could you play something?"

"Of course what do you have in mind?" She sat down at the piano

"What about beethoven moonlight sonata?"

"Oh yes of course i can do that one" y/n started to play the soft tunes of the piano rang out trough the theater, once the was done the boys clapped

"That was absolutly beautyfull"

"Thank you mr may, i was wondering if i can here some more of your wonderfull music" y/n stood up And walked to a chair that stood in the cornor

"Sure why not what you say boys?"

"Lets do it, wich one?" Asked roger

John put the strap of bass around his shoulder "What about bohemian rhapsody?"

"Lets do it" said Freddie as he dat down at the piano

🎶Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landside,

No escape from reality🎶

*qeu piano music*

🎶Open your eyes,

Look up to the skies and see,

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,

Because I'm easy come, easy go,

Little high, little low,

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to

Me, to me🎶

When the song was over y/n stood up And claped "apsolutly phenominal Its so beautyfull"

"Why thank you darling"

"I will be watching the show tonight from up there" she pointed to a place up on the third balcony"

"Oh thanks dear see you tonight"

"Thill tonight" she smiled and waved while waking trough the wall

That same night a lot of people came to the concert the theater was filled to the brim all seats were filled,, y/n sat down in her Seat and some people din't see her, Freddie stood on the stage and waved at her so she waved back

"Good evening lovelys how are you all doing!!!" People screamed and cheered "good good, lets get straight to the music my dears, first up death on two legs" people once again cheered, Freddie sat down at the piano and started to play

The evening was filled with lots of cheers beautyfull music and happy people. At the end of the evening people their spirits had been lifted

"Thank you all for comming my darlings thill next time" he bowed and so did the others, they went back stage where y/n was waiting

"You guys did absolutly amazing"

"Thank you y/n"

"Im a bit sad that i will never see you guys again"

"We can come by once a year to visit let you hear our new songs"

"That would be absolutly wonderfull"

"Really? Oh that would be great" she smiled softly

"We have to start packing now"

"Alright im going to roam again, take good care of you're self guys"

"We will"

Y/n waved them goodbye and everyone went on their way

The end

I hope you all enjoyed reading sorry if it doesn't make any sense i tried my best have a Nice day everyone.

#queen x reader #roger taylor x reader #brian may x reader #freddie Mercury x reader #john deacon x reader #platonic #band queen #name insert #au

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neoraso · 4 years

Text

royal guard!minho

requested | some gender neutral hc for how he starts to wish he was maybe more than just a guard to you

to put things lightly, minho was the ace of your entire guard

like he was better than anyone …at everything

so originally he was on (your father) the king’s immediate guard

he was nothing but professional and saved the king too many times to count even from like stepping on rocks idk

when you turned like 17 and had to do more public appearances obv u were in a lot more danger so ur father jumped at having minho reassigned to u as the head of your personal guard “nothing but the best for his child”

the first time you met him… he only nodded or said yes or no to everything u asked him n ur jus like ok not much of a talker that’s not so bad ig haha ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

he was so quiet and “polite” for months despite you constantly trying to get something out of him

ur other guards always tried not to laugh bc if only u knew he had like two friends and was generally a pretty serious guy

but one day there was a festival in your kingdom’s central city so obv you had to make an appearance which u were very excited abt bc you only get to go into town like twice a year and THIS was one of those times

being “of age” and that much closer to taking the throne you might as well have painted a big red target on your head to signal people against the throne

everything was going fine, everyone was having fun and you decided to visit some of the booths and musicians around the square

minho was already suspicious of the situation and tightens the rest of your guard without u evenn rlly noticing but like

just as you turned to show these cute little candies to minho to maybe get a reaction for once -

the second he looks at you, someone moves to grab you but the flash of a knife in his other hand causes minho to jump immediately into action

honestly who knows what rlly happened minho moved so damn fast but the next thing you know, ur in the middle of your whole guard squad

looking through the gaps of their shoulders you see minho pinning down your assailant with a blade against his neck waiting for someone to arrest him even though he rlly wanted to just execute the guy right there

the festivities were kind of killed for u after that bc you and your family were rushed back home which u might’ve been more sad abt if u werent in so much shock :<

obv minho was the one to escort you back but like all he said was “you’re okay?” and after u dumbly nodded with wide eyes he walked with you but kept a hand around your shoulder

no one really talked after that which wasn’t unusual for him but in his mind he was rlly like

“?? ok i know its literally my job to protect this family but?? hm whyyyy do i seem to care sm more rnnn??//?” help him sdhskjd

u just looked so shaken up and disappointed and suddenly he was like damn </3 they rlly have no fun in their life and this one time they could was ruined :///

u had to stay inside for weeks after that bc it turns out there was a whole conspiracy to “eliminate” your family line so you waited in safety until the criminals were “taken care of”

minho had everything triple checked around the castle for your safety and secretly made sure you had extra treats and warm drinks sent to your room sometimes with little notes that he had the cook pretend to have sent because lately he’d heard you had trouble sleeping sometimes he’s shy boy aw

he started to realize how much he had gotten used to your smile and your little jokes and the way you sometimes tripped on the corners of rugs. and he thought maybe it was a good thing you guys didnt have many interactions lately because he was way too attached

you on the other hand, couldnt even rlly complain about having to stay inside so much bc you had everything you needed and- you knew it was for ur safety but- it wassss kind of suffocating at times

u tried sneaking out at first ((just to the garden!!)) which obviously was a bad idea bc it’s impossible to get past minhos fcking hawk eyes lmao

he STILL didnt say anything like he would just follow right behind you

n like u kinda huffed but whatever honestly at least it was just him and not 15 other guards like everyone acted like you needed

plus it was somewhat comforting to have someone so solid around even if he never talked smh

one night you sat near the little pond and tried to calm your mind by watching how the moonlight rippled in the water

you can feel him behind you so u just turn around and look at him ignoring how he was already looking at you

“would you at least sit with me?”

he kind of hesitates bc …what if someone tried to come up behind you? but with the sad look on your face he cant help but give in and sits on the stone bench at the opposite end of you

it becomes actually somewhat peaceful until you just decide to ask everything you’ve been wondering n u just blurt out-

“would it kill you to talk with me once in a while? i mean, talk like a normal person and not a machine? i dont bite i promise..”

he furrows his brow bc he’s shocked you cared at all and also he doesnt rlly know how to respond without being like “its not really in my job description to make conversation” but he honestly just thought you were being talkative out of niceties.

before he could even form a sentence you continued,

“i mean- i’m always trying to get your attention. i dont get to meet many people for obvious reasons but my guards are the closest people to me-literally, and i dont want there to be a big gap between us just because of my status..”

he cuts you off before you ramble yourself to death

“i didn’t know you were this troubled by it… i just take my job very seriously and i dont want to risk anyone’s safety for the sake of conversation”

u almost roll ur eyes but not wanting to be rude ur just like “even at home? i know you’re serious about your duties, believe me, i just… i get lonely.”

smthing inside him literally breakkkssss when you say that like u are such a pure and sweet person that deserves to have all the love and friends and fun in the world so he just gets quiet for a second and looks down

“im sorry.” he said it so softly you almost didnt hear him “i’ll be there for you more- if thats what you need. im essentially in charge of your safety and care and i’ll do anything to fulfill that responsibility.”

ok.

well this was good right? so why did you still feel unsatisfied?

“i dont want to just be a responsibility, cant we just be like friends? or…”

you cut yourself off before talking too much again

you had to admit to yourself you had developed a bit of a liking for minho, not just because he was probably the most handsome person in your kingdom, not even just because he saved your life, but he had really been a pillar of security in your life and you respected his loyalty and ambition.

he was more than admirable and everything you wanted as a standard for your kingdom

sometimes you let your mind wander to him getting on one knee and leading alongside you..

no, now youre getting sidetracked and delusional and he can practically hear the gears turning in your head so he stands up and reaches his hand out for you to grab

“of course you’re more than a responsibility to me, come on, lets go inside it’s getting cold.’

taking his hand and realizing the conversation was over, you moved to link arms instead as he walked you all the way to your bedroom door

u slept a lot better that night

from that point on you could not get rid of minho

like everyone was borderline uncomfortable with how jarring his change in attitude was

like he was constantly behind you looking right over your shoulder or grabbing your arm to stop you from bumping into things

even when he wasnt technically on duty he had taken it upon himself to give you little lessons in archery and even some defensive moves to help you protect yourself in case someone wasnt fast enough to help you

your tried not to get flustered every time he adjusted your form and the way you could feel his breath behind your ear

or the head pats when he walked you to your room at night

or his hand on your back when you guys would take walks in the garden

honestly it did not take long until one night you were sat next to your pond and after some comfortable small talk you noticed how close his face was to yours

but he noticed you didn’t pull away even as he leaned in closer and finally just kissed you

when he pulled away and saw your eyes still closed and how soft you looked his heart almost exploded

“i didnt mean to make things weird i just,, couldnt help myself, sorry”

his rushed confession pulls you out of your daze and you’re so happy (a little shocked) but you’re quick to reassure him

“it’s ok, i’ve been wanting you to do that for a while …”

he’s jus like “rlly?😳”

obviously this complicates things a lot and you aren’t really sure if you would even be allowed to have a relationship with minho bc of ur position

or if he would get in trouble for breaking the rules of attachment to u

all of this is kind of racing thru both of ur minds as you look at each other but you laugh after u both start talking at the same time

you prod him to go first so he grabs your hands and says like

“look i care about you a lot, and i know we’re not really supposed to be doing this but if i can be by your side … beyond my duties…i would really love to. but if we can’t, i can survive with just being here to protect and serve you in anyway i can”

he’s so honest and genuine and earnest it shocked u a little

even tho you were uncertain abt the situation as well you knew you had grown a little too fond and dependent on minho that you would do anything to make it work

luckily an arranged marriage was not required for you so that wasnt really the issue, but falling in love with someone not at all royal..? it was a daunting thought how the idea would be perceived

you wouldnt have said anything if you both weren’t completely sure of your feelings; but you really could not imagine being content or safe spending your life with anyone else so you mustered up the courage to ask the king and queen…

when you brought it up to your parents they looked pretty concerned

minho went on the whole “i’ll do anything to protect them and this kingdom” speech and your father just waved him off and was like

“i know u would …. i’ll allow it because there’s really no one better to represent the kingdom and because i want only the best for my child ;)”

u and minho were literally in shock but just quietly said thank u and left the room

when you had privacy he immediately pulled you in for a kiss (maybe several all over ur face)

you had a lot to figure out and many responsibilities but now you had an amazing person by your side to help you through it :.) <3

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not-close-to-straight · 3 years

Text

Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy.

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf.

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU.

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF

Episode 2:

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now.

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP!

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor”

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout?

Episode 3:

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that.

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross”

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG

A STORK

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this.

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit.

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal.

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused.

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing??

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION.

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting.

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this.

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching.

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel?

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER.

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit.

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious.

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG.

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it.

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

#WandaVision

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onecanonlife · 3 years

Text

careful son (you got dreamer's plans)

Wilbur gasps back to life with mud between his fingers and rain in his eyes.

Wilbur was dead. Now, he is not. He can't say that he's particularly happy about it.

Unfortunately, the server is still as tumultuous as ever, even with Dream locked away, so it seems that his involvement in things isn't a matter of if, but when.

(Alternatively: the prodigal son returns, and a broken family finally begins to heal. If, that is, the egg doesn't get them all killed first.)

Chapter Word Count: 7,295

Chapter Warnings: swearing, injury, blood, aftermath of (temporary) character death, mild disassociation, slight s.uicidal ideation, references to past abuse

Chapter Summary: The emotional fallout is intense, but they don’t have time to stop and deal with it. Wilbur doesn’t particularly like where they decide to hole up, but beggars can’t be choosers.

(masterlist w/ ao3 links)

(first chapter) (previous chapter) (next chapter)

Chapter Twelve: nowhere to run

The sun is too bright in his eyes. Too bright, and wrong, somehow, that it should be shining like this. Should still be shining, after the loss they’ve just suffered, after watching his brother crumple to dust in front of him. But the sun hardly cares for things like that, so they all stumble out of the hole in the ground that serves as the entrance to the spider spawner and beyond, and the daylight surrounds them, unforgiving.

“Where do we go, what do we do,” Tubbo is chanting, and Ranboo is muttering under his breath, a continuous litany of, “I can’t believe he’s gone, I can’t believe that happened—” His own lips feel glued shut, his throat devoid of sound. His skin buzzes.

(the two images interpose: Techno hanging from the vine, head at an unnatural angle, Techno wavering on his feet, blood pouring from his throat, and there is a flash of light and there is ash all at once, as if the first caused the second, as if instead of healing him, shoving his soul back into a body clinging to life, the totem burned him up from the inside out, and unlike the phoenix there was no rebirth)

“We can’t stay here,” Puffy says. Her eyes are wide, and her hands are shaking, but her voice has the same determined cant to it as it always does. “We need somewhere to hole up.”

“And where is that supposed to be?” Sapnap demands. His breathing is unsteady. “Where the fuck are we supposed to go after that? Where isn’t the thing gonna be able to reach? With, with Dream being, being, what even was that? Why was he—how was he—?” He breaks off, sparks crackling at his fingertips, and his face is a mask of distress, of questions

(was he always like that and did I not see or did something happen to him did something make him like that is that my friend or is there something inside of him something behind his eyes that is not him at all and if that is the case how did I not notice how did I not notice how did I not save him)

that Wilbur feels he recognizes. Or would, if he let himself. If he let himself care.

His eyes drift over to Phil. Phil, who stands silently, blood dripping from his wings, a thousand old injuries reopened by thrashing thorns. Who stands with Tommy in his arms, Tommy, who is curled up as tightly as he can reasonably manage, his face tucked into Phil’s shirt. Trembling. Quiet.

(he will die and I will kill him, the Egg says, and I have already begun, and you cannot protect him, you do not have the strength, except by what I can grant you)

“Church Prime,” Puffy says. “It’s the only place that might be safe.”

“Who’s to say it would be?” Sapnap snaps. “You saw it in there! The vines have never moved like that before, and Prime knows what else it can do now. And maybe the Egg wouldn’t be able to get in, but who’s to say that would stop—” He cuts off again, face contorting.

His leg is beginning to hurt, now. All of him is, actually, now that his adrenaline is wearing thin, now that the horror is sinking in, but it’s concentrated in his leg in particular, and he looks down to see that his left pant leg is all but shredded, blood dripping down in steady streams and splattering on the grass by his feet. The vines got him worse than he thought, then, and he bites his lip against the sting.

He’s had worse, though. He’s had so much worse. This is practically nothing, and Puffy and Sapnap are still arguing, and Tubbo and Ranboo are huddled together, eyeing the vines around them with deep suspicion, unmoving as they are just yet, and Phil is silent, and he’s going to stay silent, because Wilbur recognizes all too well the strain in his eyes, the way he’s holding onto Tommy with a death grip.

(he’s watched two of his sons die, now, and Techno will be back, will still have two lives left, but that does not heal the hurt, does not assuage the pain of seeing your brother, your son, your family die in front of your eyes before you can lift a finger to stop it, and Phil’s eyes shine with a grief almost beyond what Wilbur can understand. except he understands all too well, in the end)

He’s had worse, and someone needs to step up.

(the old mantle settles across his shoulders, and if he closes his eyes it’s like nothing’s changed at all, and the sun sets on the city he is determined to give everything for, still standing, walls still strong)

“Boxed in like a fish,” he croaks, and Puffy and Sapnap turn to him as one. “That’s what we’ll be, if we go to Church Prime. Whether it protects us in the moment of not won’t matter once we run out of supplies. We need somewhere better situated. Somewhere we can defend, that might withstand a siege, if it comes to it.”

Puffy makes a frustrated gesture. “I’m open to suggestions,” she says. “The prison, maybe, if we have to? We could probably keep people out as easily as—ah, shit, Sam.” She pulls her communicator out and taps out a quick message, and then frowns. “It’s telling me it can’t go through. Why isn’t it going through? Sam had all three lives, he should be—”

“Admins can read private messages,” Phil murmurs. “Wouldn’t surprise me if Dream could fuck with the whole system, whatever the fuck he is.”

Wilbur reads between the lines. Techno, for the moment, is unreachable. He processes the information and moves on, refusing to let it get to him, refusing to let himself be overpowered by

(Techno’s unreachable Techno’s unreachable Techno’s respawned and he’s on his own and they can’t talk to him can’t get to him quickly and what if something went wrong what if something happened)

emotions.

“Sam will make his way to us,” he says. “I’m vetoing the prison. Like hell are we staying in there. Other thoughts?”

“What gives you vetoing power?” Sapnap asks.

“Somebody needs to make a decision,” he says, and it is with strength he doesn’t feel, confidence he is only pretending at, a force of command that comes from some unknown place, since he feels as though he is miles away from himself, “and I don’t see you coming up with anything. Either help or stop complaining.”

Sapnap’s face reddens, and he opens his mouth, to argue, no doubt, but then Ranboo breaks in with, “Foolish, maybe?” and hunches his shoulders when attention turns to him. “Sorry, it’s just, I’m pretty sure Foolish isn’t, um, a big fan of the Egg or anything, so maybe he could help?”

Wilbur has no idea who the fuck Foolish is.

“Nah, he’s too far out,” Tubbo says. “It’ll take ages to get to his place. And we need somewhere close, but not too close, so we still have a good place to fight back from, right, Wilbur? If we leave now, the Egg’ll just take over the whole SMP with nothing to stop it.”

“My thoughts exactly, Tubbo,” he says, and again, it is just like the old days, and they are standing atop the L’Manberg walls, and Tubbo has just said something particularly clever, and warmth and pride curl in him before he remembers where they are, what they’re doing. They need to decide, and soon. They’re just hanging around near the entrance, and sooner or later, someone’s going to come after them, whether they let them go at first or not. “Is there anyone else who has a good position, location-wise and resource-wise?”

“Wait,” Puffy says. “Eret’s castle.”

“Eret’s castle doesn’t have doors,” Sapnap says.

“No, but I stopped by earlier to see if they wanted to join us,” Puffy says. “They weren’t there, but the grounds were completely free of vines. And sure, there aren’t any doors, but between all of us, I’m sure we could make some. Eret’s got plenty of supplies, last I checked.”

Eret. The name evokes a wealth of associations, most of them unpleasant. His first instinct is to reject this idea like the last, to avoid placing their lives in the hands of one who has already betrayed him, who led them all into a death trap, who almost ended their revolution in one fell swoop. But Puffy has a point. Eret’s castle ticks all the right boxes: it’s defendable, well-supplied, and if there are no vines to clear, all the better. They’ll have to build doors, but between the lot of them, that’s easily manageable.

(a wealth of associations and many unpleasant but there is Eret offering them supplies offering their fragile rebellion help and they tried so dearly to redeem themself and he could not have seen that then wrapped in his own shadows as he was but perhaps he can see it now perhaps he can better appreciate it, give a little more benefit of the doubt, and if he is given a second chance after everything after committing the worst crime of all then who is he to deny them absolution?)

(another memory, more blurry: he is scared but stalwart as they go through the motions, and he does not want to die, is terrified of that endless void, but he knows that the server needs a leader and his living self must be that leader, and Eret is here, and Eret agrees, and Eret acts out their part, and Eret is trying so hard, and he cannot see their eyes behind their glasses but he imagines that if he could, he would see a fool’s hope in them)

“Eret, then,” he says. “We go to Eret.”

And no one disagrees. It’s strange. They have no reason to listen to him, really. They have far more reasons not to listen to him, more reasons to think that following his lead will end in disaster than otherwise. But Puffy nods, and Sapnap backs down, and Tubbo and Ranboo both look to him for direction like it’s the war and he’s in charge of child soldiers once again. Phil looks to him, too, but his expression is inscrutable, and only a slight tightness around his eyes shows that he’s in any pain at all.

So they go to Eret. Staggering through the grass, tripping over vines that still don’t move, thank Prime, and then along the Prime Path, and his leg hurts worse with every step, pain jolting up into his hip, it seems, and it’s not long before he’s walking with a limp. But they’re all hurt in some way, so he hides it as best he can. He can deal with it when they’re safely behind stone walls.

And then, Tommy says, “Put me down, I can walk.”

Wilbur glances over. Tommy’s face is still buried in Phil’s shirt.

“You sure, mate?” Phil asks softly.

“Yes, I’m fucking sure,” Tommy snaps, louder now, turning his face outward, pushing against Phil’s chest. His cheeks are flushed, his breaths coming short and fast, and he’s trying to pass it off as anger, and maybe part of it is. But Wilbur knows him better than to think that that’s all. Knows him better than to think that he would have let Phil carry him in the first place if he was alright.

“Okay, then,” Phil says, and swings Tommy down. Tommy wavers for a step, but slaps away Phil’s hand when he extends it, muttering a sharp, “Fuck off.”

And then they keep going. Tommy doesn’t say anything else. Wilbur keeps glancing at him, but he’s refusing to meet anyone’s gaze, even Tubbo’s. And—that’s another thing that’s going to have to wait. He wants nothing more than to stop now and make sure that Tommy’s going to be okay, but they don’t have time, and the general in him will not call for a halt until the retreat is over, until he is sure the enemy is not biting at their heels.

(retreating from Dream once again, and it is familiar and not, the same and not, and history runs in a circle, echoes and rhymes)

Eret’s courtyard is indeed free of vines, just as Puffy promised. Wilbur half-expects them to be nowhere in sight, based on what Puffy said, but they are standing right there, next to a skeletal horse they’re frantically saddling, and they’re checking their communicator every now and again, with the jerky motions of someone who doesn’t particularly want to but can’t make themself stop.

Then, suddenly, they look up at the sky. Wilbur follows their gaze to the flock of crows wheeling overhead, a dark mass of beating wings, each bird barely distinguishable from the others. All of them completely, eerily silent.

Eret stands there a moment. Just staring. Wilbur can’t tell what the look on their face is, but their shoulders are tense. And then, they look back down, and realize that the lot of them are there, stumbling in under the gate, and they visibly startle.

“Hey, Eret,” Puffy says, before they can get a word in. “Can we crash? And build some gates?”

“What,” Eret says. “What is—Puffy, what is going on? How did Dream manage to kill Sam and Technoblade? Is he—” They run a hand through their hair, and then start striding forward, their cape flaring out behind them. They haven’t said anything about him yet, haven’t reacted to his presence. “He’s out, isn’t he? I was going to come and see, but he’s out?”

“He’s out,” Puffy agrees. “We were kind of hoping you’d help us out on this one.”

“Of course,” they say quickly. “Of course, anything you—anything you need.” They’re rattled, clearly, more than Wilbur has ever seen them, perhaps. “I just—how did this happen? I thought the prison was secure, I thought—are you all okay?”

“Aside from the obvious?” Puffy says. “Yeah, we’re great. You haven’t been around much lately, I don’t know how much you know about the Egg and all of that, but that’s an issue too, along with Dream. And some other stuff that I’ve got no idea about, that we really just kind of need to all sit down and talk about.”

“The Egg? I’ve—I’ve heard of it, I think. I’ve been elsewhere for a while.” Their lips twist into a smile that isn’t quite a smile. “Doing a bit of soul-searching, you might say. Found more questions than answers, unfortunately. Alright. I can get you all whatever you need, you can absolutely stay here if that’s what you’d like, but what was that about gates?”

Right. This is taking too long.

Wilbur still feels a bit outside of his body as he steps forward, but that’s alright. He’s limping, but the pain is distant, and he can let his brain work on autopilot, let his mouth move on its own without regarding the consequences, without thinking too much about

(this is Eret and you know them and they betrayed you and you hurt them and now you’re back and here is a test here is a true test it shouldn’t matter how they react to you you shouldn’t care for their opinion but you do you know you do though you pretend you don’t pretend they’re nothing but a traitor to you but you are a traitor to yourself and you know that between the two of you you are the worse and here you both are and you only need one more and everyone will be back together again like the old days like the old days those good old days)

what happens next.

“Right, then,” he says, straightening his spine and stepping up to be visible just behind Puffy, to the side and a few feet back. Eret’s head whips toward him. “To summarize: the Egg is bad, Dream is also bad, they’re now working together, also with Bad, Techno is gone, we’re all in rough shape, a mind-controlling potentially demonic entity is likely to try to take over the server, and also, I’m here, despite my best efforts. Does that paint enough of a picture for you, or should I elaborate further?”

Eret stares at him. He stares back, doesn’t let himself fidget. He’s putting the general on display, and it has never felt more like a disguise, like yet another mask,

(and didn’t he tell Tommy he wasn’t going to do this anymore?)

but a familiar one, one that’s almost comfortable. He can force himself into the general’s shoes and worry about tactics and battles and numbers and strategy, and tuck the rest of himself away for when there’s time for it. Can think of this as just another alliance to be made, a debriefing to be held rather than

(Eret traitor friend ally enemy the place in your heart is curdled and sour and you do not know if you are capable of starting anew)

and his losses are statistics and cold facts rather than

(Techno’s eyes golden and glittering and then they go dim and pale red pale and staring the light in your brother’s eyes gone out and it is not the first time you have watched a brother die in front of you but Technoblade never dies is never supposed to die never to go to dust never and you cannot make sense of it cannot make sense of the world turned on its head)

“Wilbur?” Eret asks, after a very long moment, and he doesn’t understand why their voice breaks in the way that it does. “You’re—it’s you? Not Ghostbur?”

He spreads his arms, lifting an eyebrow.

“Do I look like Ghostbur to you?” he asks.

“No,” Eret answers right away. “No, that you do not. Um, has this been a thing, or…?” They trail off, and Wilbur can’t figure out exactly what their feelings are, but it’s too late to back down, even if he wanted to.

“For a bit,” he says. “Not for too long. Can we move on? We’ve got bigger issues to deal with at the moment.”

He means multiple things, with that. He means, there’s bigger things to worry about than why I’m here. He means, there’s bigger things to worry about than our history, and as so long as we’re on the same side for the moment, it can’t matter right now. He doesn’t know if Eret catches all of that, but whether they do or not, they nod, seeming to steady themself.

“Of course,” they say. “I—for the record, it is good to see you, Wilbur.” There is genuine relief in their voice, a tone that says they’re actually glad he’s here, more than glad, even, and he really doesn’t have time to unpack that at the moment. They need a plan, and fast, and they need some goddamn gates. And medical attention, probably. The cut on Puffy’s head looks nasty, and Phil’s wings are still dripping blood, and it’s difficult for Wilbur to look at them for too long,

(grief rises up guilt rises up crushing choking your father is grounded and it is your fault)

but it concerns him, how little Phil appears to care for their current state. So there’s that to handle, and it’s almost too much, almost. Almost too much for someone who has spent the majority of the time since he’s been brought back to life cringing away from meeting people, all the confidence he once displayed gone, shrinking, left in the void or in Pogtopia or on the podium from which he announced his own defeat, perhaps. But even still, he remembers how to be the general. He can hide in the general, present the general on the outside, be useful even while he thinks he might be on the verge of collapse, internally. He has been a general, and so he shall be again.

What comes first, then?

He pulls out his comm, scrolling through the messages. There are quite a few in the general chat from just after Sam’s death message, people from all over the server demanding to know what’s going on. His eyes drift over Techno’s, then, and he winces, but keeps reading. There are even more messages after that, capitalization usage increasing dramatically, and his eyes trace over familiar names, a pang in his heart. Niki. Fundy. Quackity. Several from Eret as well. Some from names he doesn’t recognize, like this Foolish person, and someone named Hannah.

But then, they all cut off. There have been none in the past half hour. Since they escaped from the Egg.

Out of curiosity, he taps out a few words: dream and egg have teamed, regrouping at eret’s. Upon hitting send, the screen goes fuzzy, giving him an error message he’s never seen before. So comms truly are down, then, and it’s probably just as well; Dream likely knows where they are, but if he doesn’t, there’s no reason to give him the information.

(and do these old allies old friends deserve to learn of your return from cold words on a screen do you not have the courage to face them yourself face your son your son you have not seen your son)

(the last time he spoke to Fundy, he disowned him. he doesn’t know if he still has a son)

(if he does not, he has no one to blame for himself, and perhaps that is why he is too cowardly to check)

“Right, then,” he says, looking back up. “Gates are the first priority. They might not do much against whatever the fuck that thing is, but it’s better than nothing. Eret, I assume you’d know the best way to go about it?”

Eret’s lips quirk into a slight smile, one that is, perhaps, slightly sardonic.

“It is my castle,” they agree. “The more hands I have, the quicker it will go, but I can get it done.”

“Anyone who’s not bleeding profusely, help them with that, then,” he says. “Anyone who is bleeding profusely—I assume you’ve got pots somewhere, Eret?” Eret nods, gesturing toward the inside. “Anyone who is bleeding profusely gets a pot. Once we’ve got that all covered, we’ll reconvene, come up with a plan for where to go from here. Everyone got that?”

He gets a few nods, and no one dissents, so he’ll take that as a yes. His gaze travels to the kids then, standing clumped together, and Tommy’s eyes are still shadowed, and Tubbo is shifting his weight between his feet, and Ranboo looks lost, awkward, and he wishes he didn’t have to ask anything more of them. But that’s not how wars work, and this has certainly turned into a war.

(child soldiers once again, and how history echoes)

“Tubbo, Ranboo, I want you on the gates as well,” he says, and tries to soften his tone at least a little bit, even if that’s all he can do. “And then afterward—Tubbo, I need you to go through with all of us exactly what you know about—what did you call them? Dreamons?”

Tubbo looks slightly miserable, but he nods. “Right,” he says. “I can try to ward the gates if you want. With, um, anti-demon stuff. I don’t know if it’ll work. I guess last time we didn’t manage to do much of anything at all.”

“Anti-what,” Eret says, but Wilbur shakes his head.

“We don’t have time for that. Tubbo will explain later. We—”

“The fuck am I supposed to do, then?” Tommy breaks in, crossing his arms. “You haven’t given me a job.” He glares, but it is so very obvious that it’s all a front, all a show, and Tommy’s expression dares him to challenge him, but Wilbur thinks that if he does, he just might break something in him. Tommy has always been so much more fragile than he presents himself as, so much more fragile than he likes to believe he is.

(despite it all, despite it all, he is only sixteen, only a child, a child grown old before his time but a child nonetheless, and now a child who watched his brother die for him, an estranged brother perhaps but still a brother, and Tommy has always cared so much and so deeply, no matter how much he pretends otherwise)

He hasn’t given Tommy a job, and he doesn’t really intend to, because Tommy, of all people, needs to sit the fuck down and rest for a moment. They all deserve a break, but in this moment, Tommy is the one who needs it most, and also the one least likely to accept as much.

If the general gives the order, Tommy will follow it, he knows that much,

(because he made his brother into a soldier he made his brother into a soldier and soldiers follow orders)

even if he’ll be angry at him for it, but Tommy angry with him is a sacrifice he’s willing to make. And perhaps directing his anger at him will help. Perhaps it would be better for Tommy to be angry with someone within reach rather than someone out of it.

(because Tommy is hurting, and the cause of that hurt is not here, and so perhaps if Wilbur offers himself he’ll feel better, will feel more in control, because Tommy needs control, because his abuser is out, is wandering free, and his abuser has killed their brother and told him that it is his fault)

But then, Phil breaks his silence.

“I’d like him to stick with me,” he says, with a smile that is obviously strained. “I’m not going to be able to reach everything myself.” He makes a vague gesture toward his wings, still dripping blood, and there is so much of it already drying on his feathers, sticky, tacky, almost blending in with the darkness of the feathers

(but stark against the grey-white of exposed bone)

“Why the actual shit—” Tommy starts.

“Good idea, Phil,” he cuts him off. “Tommy, help him with the wings, would you?”

“Why do I have to—”

“You too, Wil,” Phil says, and his mood sours immediately. “You think I don’t see that leg? C’mon, Eret, show us to the pots.”

When faced with that, he has no choice but to agree, really.

(he wouldn’t have ignored it. he wouldn’t have. He knows better than to leave a wound untreated in wartime. Even if something whispers at him that he deserves the pain, even if the bite of it brings him closer to reality. But his better sense knows: pain is not the penance that is asked of him, not a recompense that will do anyone any good)

**********

They meet again half an hour later in Eret’s throne room. Half an hour later, and his leg is bandaged and tender and no longer an open wound, and Tommy is frowning and refusing to meet anyone’s eyes, and the state of Phil’s wings is still bothersome, because he didn’t let either of them touch them beyond what was necessary,

(and he recollects countless nights spent running his fingers through soft, silken feathers as his father told him how to preen them, told him that it was a sign of trust, an activity that only family, only flock is allowed, and now Phil will no longer let them near him, will no longer even take care of them himself and it makes him sick to his stomach to think of what has been lost)

but they are no longer bleeding, and that has to be what matters.

The throne room is not the best location for this, he thinks. It feels awkward. But it’s a room big enough to fit everyone, which is the point, big enough to fit Puffy, presence looming and forehead now bandaged, to fit Sapnap, fidgety as he is, like a caged, snarling animal, all restless energy. Big enough for Tubbo, for Tommy, for Ranboo, for Phil, for Eret and for himself, and big enough that there is an obvious gap at Phil’s right side where someone else should be standing.

Eret eyes her throne, glances at everyone else in the room, and then seats herself at its base. It’s a pithy gesture, meaningless, but Wilbur has more important things to do than to call her out on it, even though the existence of the throne itself grates against him.

“Let’s call this meeting to order, then,” he says, and Eret frowns. Perhaps she doesn’t like that he’s calling the shots in her own

(ill-gotten, dearly kept)

castle, but tough. He’s brought out the general for all of their sakes, so the general is what they’re all going to get.

(it’s a mask again and masks crack but he can keep it up for long enough he can he can they need a leader so he will lead he will lead them)

(you were so good at compartmentalizing, once, go good at shoving it all away in boxes in dark shadowy corners never to be opened to gather dust and cobwebs and faded recollections but the boxes cracked and the demon’s escaped and Pandora was too weak to stop them and it all ended in a bang and he cannot tell if hope remains but that isn’t the point because the box is opened and once opened it is not so easily closed and you are putting on a show a lie and lies come back around again they always do and you should know better than to pretend at strength you do not have you will lead them to ruin again ruin and gunpowder smoke and what gives you the right)

“Yeah, alright,” Puffy says. “Can we start by talking about—whatever that was? What were you talking about, dreamons? What’s a dreamon?”

“That sounds like a made up word,” Tommy mutters.

“I wish it were made up,” Tubbo says, and he winces when all eyes turn to him. But a moment later, he straightens, setting his shoulders squarely, holding his head up high. “I’ll tell you all what I know. Even if that turns out to be not as much as I thought.” He pauses, clearly struggling for words.

“Start from the beginning,” he suggests, and Tubbo nods at him gratefully.

“Okay, right, the beginning,” he says. “In the very beginning, me and Fundy were messing around, and we found some old books. We went through them for a laugh, and we learned about these things called dreamons.”

“Wait, that’s what they’re actually called?” Tommy interjects. “Like, properly?”

Tubbo shrugs. “It’s what the books said,” he says. “We weren’t about to argue over names. Even if it did seem like a weird coincidence. But yeah, that’s what they’re called.” His voice falls into an odd cadence here, recitative, like he’s telling a story, and Wilbur crosses his arms, gripping at his elbows. “They come from the darkness of the void, lurking around the edges of a server’s code. Once they get in, their only goal is to cause chaos and destruction. They corrupt everything they touch, and they can possess people and turn them into their puppets. They have unknowable powers, because they’re a sickness, a rot, like an infection in the code of the server itself. It’s really, really difficult to get rid of them, but it can be done if you have the right tools. Or—” He blinks, stuttering a bit, his voice landing more naturally. “We thought so, anyway.”

“What does this have to do with Dream?” Sapnap asks, stopping his pacing, looking to Tubbo with an expression in his eyes that hurts to look at, a bit, wobbly and desperate and pinched, like he already knows the answer but hopes that he’s wrong, hopes as much as he is able, even though he knows it will be fruitless.

Wilbur has put the pieces together. As best he can, anyway. And Sapnap’s not a stupid man. He can see where this is leading.

“Dream got possessed.” Tubbo sighs, gaze drifting toward the floor. “It was a whole thing. Honestly, we were surprised nobody else noticed. But we—we performed an exorcism. And it was really scary, to be honest. But it worked. We could see it leave, all oozy and black and gross, and Dream was better afterward! He was! So we thought we got it out.”

“But it tricked you?” he asks.

“I don’t understand how it could have,” Tubbo replies. “It’s not—it’s not like the kind of possession that you see in a TV show, where the demon can pretend to be the person or something like that. It’s obvious. It’s too—it’s too wrong to blend in, if that makes sense. It made his voice go all funny and deep, and the way it moved—” He shudders, and then continues, miserably, “The way it moved, there’s no way you could mistake something like that for a human. That’s why we were so sure it worked. Because afterward, he seemed back to normal.”

Something about this doesn’t make sense.

“Tubbo,” he says, wheels spinning in his mind, “when was this?”

Tubbo blinks. “Manberg days,” he says. “Um, that’s why we never told you about it, I suppose.”

He barely bats an eye at the reference. It doesn’t make sense. Because he has sensed that wrongness, as Tubbo puts it, has been sensing it from the moment he set foot in that prison cell for the first time. On some level, he knew that something was deeply wrong, even if a demonic presence was the last thing he would have guessed. But if the whole thing happened during—during that time, and the signs of possession were as obvious as Tubbo says, he would have noticed, wouldn’t he? He had plenty of interactions with Dream during that time.

(unless his own shadows stretched long, stretched far enough to cover Dream’s, to cover the thing piloting him)

But no—his shadows were of his own making, not supernatural. If anything, his mindset should have made him more receptive to suspicious wrongness, not less. So what—

(Dream smiles, and you know what it’s like, to have something whispering in your head, he says, once you let something in, there’s no going back)

“Maybe the first bit was a fakeout,” Phil suggests, arms folded, head tilted. He’s perplexed, which is worrying; it’s rare to come across a being that Phil knows nothing about. “It made itself obvious to lure you in so it could slip under the radar. Faked leaving to put your guard down, maybe.”

It’s plausible. But somehow

(and Dream stands atop the Egg and he says, he says, I tried to fight at first, but it turns out it was right all along, and he says it he says it like it’s separate from him like there is not something else something other speaking from his mouth after all and he tried to fight it he tried to fight it and what does that mean)

“They’re the same,” he breathes, and doesn’t know what he means, not quite yet, “they’re the same, and the Egg controls people, and he was talking about fighting something, about giving in—”

He runs a hand through his hair. Shakes his head.

“Wil?” Phil asks.

“Oi, Wilbur,” Tommy says, almost at the same time. But he needs to—he needs to focus as the pieces click into place, faster than he can process, and he has a conclusion but not the words yet—

He holds up a hand.

“Tubbo,” he says, “you said it can corrupt things. What did you mean by that?”

“I dunno, really,” he says. “It talked about it in the books some, but it was all weird metaphorical language. Couldn’t really makes sense of it. We were more focused on the bits that told us how to get rid of them.”

(he says, you know what the void is like, and Tubbo says that they come from the void, and)

That’s alright. He’s not sure he needs a hard answer to that, because he thinks that if one were to describe the feeling of the corruption, it would be

(it is dark and it is peaceful and there is static at the edges eating away at what makes him himself eating at his soul at his sense of self and it is what he wants, to be nothing, and he does not imagine what it would feel like if it were not what he desired, if he tried to resist it, resist the void all-consuming, all-devouring, resist the void that takes all things into itself and is never satiated)

something familiar.

“Alright,” he says, and steeples his fingers together. “Let me paint a picture for you. Someone gets possessed. You exorcise the thing. But these things can corrupt, you say. So maybe you get rid of the thing itself. Maybe Dream’s pretty much back to normal. But maybe it leaves little bits of itself behind. Maybe he’s not possessed, but maybe that doesn’t matter so much anymore. Maybe it changed him regardless. Maybe it’s still changing him, even though it’s no longer there. Maybe a corruption took root, and there wasn’t any going back from it.” He tilts his head, closes his eyes. “Suppose that the Egg is the same type of thing. Something that forced its way through the cracks of the server, something that’s been smart about it, biding its time. The things that Dream was saying reminded me a lot of what the Egg was doing, you know? Manipulating people, making them into things they aren’t, or into their worst selves.”

He strings the words together as he goes. He’s not sure he’s getting his point across. He used to be so much better at this.

“Wait, so you’re saying you think he isn’t possessed?” Sapnap asks.

“I’m saying we don’t really know,” he answers. “Not unless we get it from him. But Tubbo’s the expert here, and if he says Dream’s not acting like he’s possessed, I believe him. But even if he’s not possessed outright, that doesn’t mean there’s no—influence, perhaps.” He keeps his eyes shut; the darkness on the back of his eyelids is a natural one, but he can almost pretend that it isn’t. That it is darker, deeper.

(void)

“He was right that I know what it’s like,” he says. “I’ve felt the Egg in my head. And I was in the void for—a long time. It felt like forever. I know what it feels like, and there’s some of it in him, I think. Him and the Egg both. They’re the same kind of wrong, the same kind of unbelonging. I’ve never been possessed by a demon before, but if it’s made up of void stuff, that’s the sort of thing that stays with you. Whispering.”

He opens his eyes. Everyone is staring at him, varying expressions of horror on their faces.

He goes back over his words. In retrospect, he can see how they probably came off sounding.

“Wil,” Phil says softly.

“I’m fine,” he says, not at all convincingly, he’s sure.

(once he starts thinking of the void of the peace and of the rest it’s hard to stop even though his desires are now tinged with red and he knows better than to listen but he cannot help himself)

“This is all speculation, anyway,” he continues. “Might not matter at all, in the end, what the particulars are. We just need a way to stop them. Can dreamons be killed, Tubbo?”

Tubbo takes a moment before replying. “I don’t think so,” he says. “Fundy might remember better. But I think the only thing in what we read was the exorcism.”

“Which doesn’t help us much if Dream’s not actually possessed,” Puffy says. “Unless it might work on the Egg? If the Egg’s a—a dreamon too?”

“Worth a shot if we can get to it again,” he says, “but I don’t like risking so much on a maybe.”

“The less we mess with forces beyond our understanding, the better,” Eret says suddenly. She frowns, pushing her sunglasses further up her face. “As I said earlier, I’ve been away a good bit recently, so I haven’t been tracking the Egg’s progress as much as perhaps I should have. But I did notice an increase in activity—well. It was shortly after we tried to resurrect you, Wilbur.” She inclines her head toward him. “I fear that in our efforts, we might have interfered with something we shouldn’t have interfered with. Weakened a barrier of some kind, between our existence and—something else.”

She speaks with a strange kind of gravity. But her words make an unfortunate kind of sense.

He doesn’t look at Phil.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tommy states. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“I’m with Tommy on this one. What are you talking about?” Sapnap adds.

“We’re getting off track,” he says, snapping his fingers. “We’re going about this wrong. We don’t have enough information, and we don’t have enough power. Those are our problems. How do we solve them?”

“The obvious would be to get the word out,” Puffy says. “Comms are down, but we can go by word of mouth if we have to. Kinda risky, with the amount of vines on this server, but the nether portal’s right across the way. No vines in the nether, I think.”

“I have lots of old books myself,” Phil chimes in, eyes skyward. “Might be something in there to help that I’ve read and forgotten about. And I’ve got another source of info I’ve barely begun to go through. Old shit I found. It might be worth a shot.” He looks back down. “We need to go get Techno anyway.” He says the last in a tone that brooks no argument, and Wilbur doesn’t try, even if it’s perhaps not the most tactically sound option.

(he wants Techno back too, wants to lay eyes on him, hold his wrist in his hand and count his heartbeats, each one a reassurance, because he knows what it is for a brother to die and come back but that has never made it easier)

“It’s better than nothing,” he says. “Alright, I’ve got a plan, then. Some of us go to the tundra, get Technoblade, and go through whatever books Phil has. Some stay here and fortify the defenses as best we can using what Tubbo can remember that he thinks might work, and a couple of us go around through the nether and tell as many people as possible what’s going on. Gather allies, resources anything else we might need.”

It’s not much of a plan. But based on just how outclassed they are, just how little they know, just how much exhaustion shows in their faces, it might be the best plan they’re going to get for now. To throw themselves back into a battle so soon would be folly.

It never sits well with him to bank so much on a hope, though, a mere possibility that things will go their way.

(but certainties were ripped out from under him the moment Dream killed the unkillable, the moment he saw his brother crumple to ash before his eyes)

“Great,” Puffy says, grimacing. “What could possibly go wrong with that?”

The silence that greets that statement serves perfectly well as a response.

He closes his eyes again. The darkness is no comfort.

#mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #dsmp fic #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #philza #tubbo #eret #ranboo #captain puffy #sapnap #alivebur #/rp #cat writes fic #long post #c!wilbur angst tag

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willddheartt · 3 years

Text

26 Days | Wilbur Soot

30 days to fall in love with someone? Sounds easy right? It would be if that person wasn’t so unbelievably annoying in almost every sense.

You’re not sure how you found yourself in this situation, but you were positive there was no backing out now…

Series Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, and a very poorly constructed enemies to lovers plot.

Word Count: 2264

Masterlist Series Masterlist

26 Days

God, you hated him so much! You wanted to scream it from the top of a building how much you truly hated Wilbur. But you couldn’t

Lately, no matter what you did or said on stream, he always had a problem with it. You had been streaming Minecraft together, on the SMP. You were just messing around, no lore this time. You suggested you made a house together in L’manburg, no matter what you did, the two of you couldn't agree on a material, you wanted to build it out of birch wood and cobblestone but he insisted on dark oak logs and spruce planks would look better together. You gave up and let him have what he wanted because he was so persistent and you knew had it gone on you would have blown up on him in front of all your viewers, and that’s the last thing you needed right now.

You were up late, last night, planning out when you were going to meet up, and just a few hours ago the two of you got along perfectly. Laughing over the phone as you were laying in bed, chatting mindlessly. You wondered what happened between then and now. You and Will planned to meet up in the middle of next week, you were going to drive down to see him and stay at his place. Although you brought up getting a hotel room, Wilbur insisted you stay with him, too tired to resist you agreed, but now you're starting to think maybe getting a hotel room might be for the best.

You and Wilbur ended your streams at the same time, and you sighed as soon as you were sure it was off.

“What?” Wil asked, still in the voice chat. “What was that back there? Why the hell are you so disagreeable?” You let out. Will scoffed, “Me? You’re the one who kept on insisting birch and cobble when that wouldn't even fit in L’manburg!” “Jesus Christ,” You sighed, leaning back in your chair and running your hands down your face. “How in the hell are we going to get through this month?” “Maybe you should stop being so uptight and argumentative.” Wil shot “Fuck you,” You mumbled before clicking out of the chat and leaving your PC.

You needed to get out of the house and away from any form of contact you had with Wilbur and social media. You had been cooped up inside your apartment for close to a week at this point, maybe some fresh air would do you good. You grabbed a jacket and keys before leaving the apartment, leaving your phone charging on your desk. You didn’t want to bring it with you because you didn't even want to think about getting a text or any kind of notification from Wilbur right now, you knew you would have blown up at him completely.

The weather was just beginning to turn nice, the air was warm but the wind still had a slight winter chill to it, although all the snow was long gone Jack Frost still made his lurking presence known. Buildings lined the walls of a small square common area where teens mostly hung out after school and on weekends. The square had a fountain in the middle of it, the water had been shut off for the winter but with the warm temperatures from the last month, it had recently been turned back on. You sat on the ledge of the brick wall around the bottom pool for the fountain, looking at everyone passing through on this nice Wednesday evening. Older couples out for an evening walk, middle-aged business people speed walking their way home from the office, teens scattering the open area, sitting on blankets and laughing in their small groups of friends. You found watching people be interesting, it made you think.

We are all living our own lives at the same time and most of us on this small planet don't even know of one another, or if you know of them you don't know them, you only know their name. It's weird how that works. It's astounding to think about though, what are the chances of meeting exactly who you did, at the time you did, and what a gamble it is for them to stick around.

You had been sitting on the fountain for close to five minutes and when the wind had just started to pick up, sending a slight shiver down your spine. Your mind was clearer now and you were no longer angry with Wilbur, it was stupid what you fought about and as much as it pained you to admit, he was right. You were being stubborn and didn’t take into account the surrounding aesthetic of the area. It was your fault that the disagreement broke out in the first place.

You got home and saw your phone had been basically blown up by notifications from Wilbur, asking if you were really mad at him or if it was for a bit that you took too far, but when you didn't answer he slightly snapped you, asking if you were okay and where you were. You answered immediately, scared he might have been worrying.

Hey! You typed, Sorry I went for a walk after stream, needed to get out.

There you are! He responded within seconds, I got worried.

I’m okay, I left my phone home, needed a break from the internet and things. You know?

You mean you needed a break from me?

You could have sworn, had you been on a video chat with him you would have seen him frowning. You weren't sure what about that message got you, but you found yourself almost with tears in your eyes, you didn't mean to hurt him and you hoped you didn't -what were you talking about. Wilbur didn't mean anything to you, he was just someone you kept in contact with because you were in the same friend group.

No, you typed, not the whole thing at least. I just needed to clear my head, and i'm sorry for being such a dick on stream, I didn't mean to cause that, and you were right about the blocks.

You sighed when hitting the send button, never in a million years did you think you would be telling Wilbur, The Wilbur Soot, that he was right about something. I’m sorry.

Christ Y/N it’s alright, really. Just don't scare me like that again, I was starting to think something bad happened to you.

I didn't mean to scare you, Wil.

You found yourself feeling bad about leaving him in the dark while you were out, you didn't mean to worry him, you just didn't want to hurt him by blowing up at him.

Still call tonight, yeah? He messaged

You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. Yeah, I'd like that very much. I'll call you before I go to sleep.

In the time that you had been a fake couple, you and Will had started calling while you were getting ready to fall asleep in bed, you usually ended up falling asleep before he did, the sound of his raspy sleepy voice lulled you to sleep like there was no tomorrow. You'd wake up in the morning to find that Wil left the call going, you thought it was cute. Sure it might have been some highschool relationship stuff but it was cute nonetheless.

“Hello, Y/N” Will said through the phone, his voice sounding tired and soft “Hi Wil,” You smiled, giggling slightly. Although you had just been on a voice chat with him earlier you loved hearing his voice when he was tired, it sounded like stirring honey into your morning cup of tea, or reading an old book, but specifically an old book that smells of must and age of being stored at the back of your grandparents bookshelf that hadn't been touched in years. “You sound tired,” you mumbled, laying down with the phone resting on your stomach as you looked up at the ceiling. “I am,” He hummed, “You don't sound very tired though, did you drink a lot of coffee today?” He asked “A little more than usual, but I’ll be fine.” You sighed, your voice almost coming out in a whisper. There was something about talking to Wilbur before going to sleep that made you feel soft and loved, but you couldn't put your finger on exactly what it was. Maybe it was the thought of having someone there, or maybe it was just as simple as it was Wilbur and it was you.

“Are you excited for next week?” He asked “Right now it feels too far away to be real,” “Who’s talking here, is it you you or is it us you?” He asked, unsure if your thoughts were good or bad “Its both,” You said. “It feels so far away to me right now, but so close at the same time and a side of me cant wait for it to get here, so we can finally meet in person. But another side of me feels like it’s good that it feels so far away because maybe something will come up and I wont be able to make it and i don’t want to think that or even say it because thats a terrible thing to say but you know how it is.” You rambled, trying your best to explain it to him in a way that he would fully understand the crossroads your mind is at, and not sound like a dick while doing it.

Although you couldn’t see it, you could tell he was nodding along. “How about we make a deal, alright?” He started, “In these night chats, we don’t have to put on the face of the characters we play on stream and through out the day, Alright?” You rolled over to your side, putting an arm under your head and setting your phone on the mattress by your head. “I like that. Deal.” “Okay now tell me how you really feel about all of this”

All the thoughts ran though your head a mile a minute, you didn’t know where to start honestly, you had a lot of thoughts but if you really looked at it and narrowed it down most of them talked circles around the same thing just using different words.

“You promise what ever I say wont hurt you or make you flip out?” You asked “Swear on Tommy’s life.” You could sense the smirk that tugged at the side of his mouth when he said that. “Okay,” You started with a sigh. “So I din’t really know where I stand on it anymore, at the beginning I thought this was going to be insufferable, but now that we’ve gotten into it for a few days, you’re really not that bad, but I’m still on the fence.” “I hope come meeting, your opinion has changed a little bit more. But I do understand where you’re coming from. Its weird being able to talk off stream and such with you and not be fighting twenty-four-seven. It’s nice, I feel like I’m getting to know you better.”

He was right, you had told Wilbur more in the last five days than you had ever in your years of knowing him. You were surprised to find out that he’s actually not as bad as you thought, but you would never tell him that bit.

“Do you have to put on a character when we do those streams and such, Wilbur?” You asked,

“I don’t think I do, and if I do it I don’t know what I’m doing it. It’s just something thats easy to do, I’m not sure how to explain it.” He replied “Do you have to when we’re talking like this?” “No. Not at all, this is 100% me.”

You’re not sure what part hit you the most, when he said he didn’t have to put on a full character mask when showing your ‘relationship’ to the public, or if this Wilbur, the tired one was the real Wilbur who you've been falling asleep with for the past three nights. You weren’t sure what you though you wanted to hear when asking him that but it definitely wasn't what you go, but maybe it was what you needed.

The line went dead for a couple of minutes, you had the radio playing softly in the background to help you sleep better, and Wilbur seemed to be enjoying listening to you breathe through the phone.

“Hey Wil,” You yawned “HM?” He hummed, you could tell he had his eyes closed with the phone by his face, like he did on one of your face time calls the other day. “I’m soon gonna pass-out,” You whispered “Thats alright, go to sleep. Get your rest, I’ll be here when you wake up, love.” He was so sweet it almost made your heart hurt. “Okay” You nodded, but don’t hang up, okay? I like it when you’re here with me when I fall asleep.”

You struggled to keep your eyelids open, feeling heavy and light all at the same time. You felt so light it was as if you could float away but you were too heavy and weighed down to get up and move, even if you absolutely had to move for whatever reason you don't think you could have.

“Goodnight Wilbur, love you.” You mumbled into your pillow “Sweet dreams.”

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potatoesforash · 3 years

Text

Ghostbur x reader- Ghostly love

Y/n’s POV

Walking along the path to the clearing in the forest where my cottage resides I notice a change in the weather and very quickly realise it was beginning to rain. Sighing to my self I start to slow my pace in walking enjoying the rain as it hit my skin. My cloak getting soaked but at this moment I could care less and that's when I hear it, a voice coming from behind me. It was soft almost distant but it was loud enough for me to hear. Looking in front of me I see my cottage that I could just run to but out of the kindness of my hart I turn to look at the person behind me. I was shocked to find a pale man with a large gash in his middle looking at me as if nothing happened.

"Hi sorry to bother you but do you think I could possibly come in?" the strange man said

"you see I'm a ghost and I melt in the rain and I would really not like to be out here for long" he added to his previous statement rubbing the back of his ghost head

"Uhh sure thing bud" I say telling him to follow me. Walking into my home the man follows behind rather fast and sits him self in front of my couch facing the fire place that was still blazing.

"This is a nice place you have here" He said looking back at me "If you don't mind me asking what aesthetic is this? Its nice but confusing" He asks

"Oh its Dark Academia and Cottage core mixed into one I um I picked it up from my old friend who taught me everything I know" I say trying not to drop any hints that could get me possibly killed by Dream

"So he was like your professor?" He asks looking at me with a twinkle in his eye

"you could say that" Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Turning to face the door that I hadn't moved from since we got in opening it slightly to find two rather tall men in front of me one with pink hair and one with blonde hair covered by a hat of some sorts, suddenly I feel the ghost man's presence behind me.

"Hello, can I help you two men?" I ask politely opening the door more for them to get a proper look at me

"Yes you can we were told that you could help us with a little problem" the blonde man starts all of a sudden the ghost behind me shouts a loud Phil and the blonde and Pink haired men look at me suspiciously. The pink man quickly draws his sword and holds the tip of it to my thought

"Why is Ghostbur here?" the man asks me with his rough sounding voice

"If I was you I would put your sword down before you regret it" I respond and he just chuckles at me

"What are you going to do-" He asks but is quickly shut up when his sword has been thrown into the clearing far enough away from him so he could not reach it without having to move away from the door. He slowly looks at my hands to see that I have a stick (so he thought) in my hand

"What did you do?" He asks in a threatening tone

"I warned you but you did not heed it so I will ask you this once and once only who-" before I got to question the men in front of me ghostbur spoke up interrupting me

"This is my brother Technoblade and this is my dad Philza" pointing at both the men "she was just letting me stay till it stopped raining she meant no harm" he says putting a hand on my shoulder making a shiver run up my spine, his hand was freezing like ice, Looking back at the two men in front of me I come to the conclusion to speak up finaly

"What did you two want? And how did you find this place" Techno looked at me like he wanted to kill me and Phil just sighs and takes off his hat

"us three where supposed to come find you together but Wil here wandered off and found you we where told you where a necromancer of some kind and where hoping that you could bring my son here back from the dead?" Phil asked with hopeful eyes

"I-I'm sorry I don't do that anymore not since Dream had threatened me with execution if I ever did it again considering what happened the last time" I say looking back at the eyes of this ghosts father "But I can provide warmth, tea and shelter considering night is falling near and it hasn't stopped raining." I say giving Phil a sad smile

"That would be wonderful thank you..." He stops realising that I haven't told any of them my name

"Oh its Y/n my names Y/n" I say moving to the side to let the boys into my house which they gladly step in out of the cold.

*Time skip to later on in the night*

Ghostbur's POV

Me and Y/n sat on her couch enjoying each others company while Phil and Techno shared her bed.

"I just realised your the necromancer that Tommy keeps going on about!" I shout with a chuckle

"Tommy? As in the kid who came to me because he needed some where to hide because of my brother Dream?" she says to me and I look at her shocked

"Your brother is Dream?" I ask in a quiet scared voice like she would hurt me at any time

"Hey don't worry I'm not going to hurt you I'm nothing like the heartless basterd of a brother I have, he threatened me with execution his own sister, so ive got nothing for him anymore" she says tears welling in her eyes. Reaching out to touch her cheek with my icy hand I wipe any tears that had been shed away from her cheek. I look at her up and down and only now I realise that she has a scar running over her eye brow and down towards her soft looking lips. I let out a sight and pull her into a hug rubbing their back giving them a kiss on the head. It was around four thirty in the morning when I realise she fell asleep in my cold dead arms. I can't help but think, think that if I had been alive when I met her maybe then I would stand a chance to get with her. Wait no bad Ghostbur you have only just met her...But for some reason I cant help but be infatuated with her. Just everything about this young woman interests me. Her pretty H/l H/c hair, her E/c eye's and her soft pink lips that just look pleasant to feel against my own. But I have just met her so why do I feel like this? Why do I feel this way about her?

"Son?" I hear Phil's voice come from in front of me "Why are you crying?" He asks looking confused

"Dad, I um It's uh It's stupid really" I say wiping my own tears away

"You can tell me kiddo" He says smiling sitting in front of the glowing fire

"Dad when you met mum how did you know that you like her?" I ask subconsciously rubbing Y/n's back

"Well your mother was all I could think about at any point of the day, Why do you ask son" He replied looking at me in the eyes making me look back down at the sleeping girl on my chest to which he lets out a small 'oh'

"I don't know what to do i just met her and she's all I can think about and it feel so wrong yet so right but I'm also dead and I just I don't know any more Phil!" I say getting louder as I go on feeling Y/n stir in my arms i stop and look down at her seeing that she was still asleep I look back at Dad to see him smirking

"Well I think you've got a chance considering that were the only people she talks to other than villagers for trades" He says getting up and patting me on the shoulder "Try to get some sleep son" with that he walks away back to bed to sleep

*Time skip to 4 months down the line cuz I'm a lazy writer*

Y/n's POV

It's been four months since I met Ghostbur and I met and I have found myself slowly falling for the dead man. But the one thing that has made me realise that is the fact that he has basically moved in with me. But what I didn't realise is that through the forest from my clearing there is a snow biome where Techno's retirement home was sat. But that meant that when my brother went to find Tommy at Techno's house I got a lovely visit from my dick head of a brother.

"Why hello there sister, Ghostbur" He said just waltzing in my front door

"Dream what do you want?" I say to him with an angry look

"What can I pay a visit to my sister?" he asked coming farther into my home that used to be ours till he left for the SMP

"You don't get to say that I'm your sister after you threatened to kill me" I say looking him in that blank lifeless looking mask with the twisted psychopathic smile painted in black.

"Oh sister dearest you know why I threatened you with that and you know what you did to our mother" He said looking over at Ghostbur who had a confused face "Oh you haven't told your little friend here what you did? How you killed our mother in cold blood?" he said trying to gas light me to get a bad reaction out of me

"That's quite enough Dream. I want you to get out of my house now. And I never. Never want you to step foot inside of this house for as long as you live" I say in anger drawing my sword and pointing it at him. He rises his hands in the air and spins on his heels towards the door starting to retreat out of here

"Okay sister but just so you know I will not hesitate to kill you if you step out of line" He said disappearing out of my line of sight. After what felt like eternity I felt Ghostbur's hand on my shoulder and turn me towards his cold body pulling me into a hug

"was what he said...True?" he asks me all I can do is nod my shaky ands grab onto his jumper

"I'm sorry, I if you hate me that's fine I probably deserve it" I say into his chest

"hay no, I don't hate you I just want to know what happened" he said rubbing my back softly

"I...I was born with magic but only one person every one hundred years is born....so at the age of sixteen some people came to take me away but my mum got in the way and....they killed her and well Dream has blamed me for it saying I killed her that it was my fault...But I would never kill my own mother I loved her so much and so if you go outside to the back of the house there is a small grave for her that I made after he left that same day for the SMP when he was seventeen and that's the day he threatened to execute me if I ever try to bring those people anywhere near him so... after they taught me magic they left and they swore never to come near me again" I explained to him all of a sudden Wil let go of me and ran to his room and came back with something blue in his hands

"Your sad hare have some blue it will make yo better" he said handing me the blue automatically making me feel better

"Thank you Ghostbur I feel better now" I say looking up at him to find him staring at me with admiration on his face "hey Will? you okay there?" I ask him but I got no response but before I could ask him again I felt a cold pressure press on my lips It took me a couple seconds before I realised that it was the ghost boys lips and kissed back putting one of my hands on his cheek and the other on his shoulder his hands going around my waist. Pulling away from his lips and press my forehead to his and giggle.

"Phil told me I needed to do that at some point" he said a small smile on his face "I um Y/n if you couldn't already tell I really like you and I would love for you to be my girlfriend" He said to me

"Of course Will! I really like you too" I say leaning back into his cold soft lips kissing him again this time for longer than the last. Every kiss got longer and longer before eventually we where sat on the couch making out. But the make out session was cut short when the loud child burst into the house with Phil shouting after him and Techno not far behind him all three stopping at the door when they see the sight before them and Will And I pull away from each other embarrassed

"Well then... uh I think we will come back later come on boys" Phil says dragging his two other sons out behind him shutting the door quickly leaving me and Ghostbur alone again both of us look at each other and we start laughing soon enough falling asleep in each others arms in front of the crackling fire.

And Ghostbur swore that he could feel warmth after months of not being able to feel it and it was all because of me and loving the sweet ghost boy.

Ayyyyyyy its me here and have this sweet fluff for Ghostbur but I didn't plan on spending four fucking hours on this. Its longer than I spend on my school work which hopefully shows my dedication to this poor book.

#wilbur soot x reader #ghostbur #dream smp #x reader #fluff #fanfics

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