#and even though no one tells me anything about it i always feel bad for accepting there gifts to me

[russellsppttemplates]

We don't know anything about girls! (Oscar Piastri)

Lucas and Jack take the job of protecting their sister very seriously

Note: english is not my first language. Another Oscar piece, and this time it's dad!Oscar 🥹✨️🤍

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

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Cw: reader is pregnant, childbirth, postpartum

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Daddy, we have a question for you", Lucas said as he and Jack sat at the table, ready to have lunch.

"Sure, what is it you want to ask me?", Oscar offered as he served up their plates with some broccoli, pasta and salmon.

"Mummy is the one that had us, right? We were both on her tummy - not at the same time though - and then she had us", Lucas wondered.

"Yes, mummy was the one that grew you in her tummy", Oscar smiled as he remembered both of your pregnancies. He knew it wasn't comfortable all the time, and there were many instances where you didn't feel so good, but he would spend the whole time in awe at you and what your body was doing for your family.

"Okay, so we have to talk to mummy", Jack reasoned with Lucas, who nodded back at him.

"Why do you need mummy, was my answer not enough?", Oscar wondered.

"It was enough, daddy, don't worry! But if we want a baby brother or sister, we have to talk to mummy first", Lucas stated as if he was saying they were going to ask you to change their bedroom curtains.

"You want a sibling?", Oscar questioned them both, wondering if they had been eavesdropping on you and him.

When one of Oscar's sisters had her baby a couple of months ago, you and Oscar both felt like adding another one to your flock, discussing it in bed that night. It wouldn't be so bad, especially now that both your and Oscar's careers were settled and your schedules were far more predictable. The boys seemed to think the same.

"Yes, do you think mummy will like the idea? She always said her feet hurt a little when it was towards the end", Lucas tsked, "and you, daddy? Would you like to have a another baby?", he wondered.

"Yes, I would - I'll tell you what, when mummy gets home from work, we can ask her about it, okay?", Oscar suggested, seeing the boys agree before eating the food in their plates, smiling to himself at the possibility of your growing family.

By the time you got home, you were just about to catch Oscar putting the boys down for the night, "night night, boys, I hope you have sweet dreams", you kissed both of their foreheads.

"We need to talk to you tomorrow, mummy, we have something to ask you", Lucas offered.

"Okay, it can wait until tomorrow, buddy - sleep tight!", you combed his hair with your fingers.

Closing the door behind you, you walked up to your bedroom, starting to get rid of your work clothes, "Osc? Can you help me with these buttons, please? I can't even lift my arms", you groaned, "I'm so tired".

Your heard your husband's feet pad out of the ensuite bathroom and approach you, his fingers undoing the buttons at the nape of your neck so you could take the shirt off.

"There you go, love", he offered, leaving a kiss in there.

"Thank you - both for this and for doing the nightime routine with the boys, I'm sorry I couldn't be home earlier, but the last lady had this nasty contracture that wouldn't go anywhere no matter how much I pulled and worked every trick of the book", you sighed as you grabbed your pyjamas from under your pillow so you could put them on.

"Don't worry - it was all fine", Oscar assured, "you did miss the quesion they wany to ask you tomorrow though".

"Is it something for school?", you wondered, getting up from the bed with only one leg of your pyjama pants on.

"No, it's not - you can't do anything about it, not now anyway", your husband chuckled as he watched you quirk your eyebrow.

"Do I want to know what it is about? You're scaring me a little", you mused.

"The boys want to ask you for a little brother or sister", Oscar stated, "they checked with me to know if you were the point person they should go to".

"Because I'm the only one?", you giggled, adjusting the sleeves on your shirt so you could wash your face and brush your teeth.

"You grew them in your tummy, and Lucas remembered how much your feet hurt so they want to know if you would be comfortable with having another one", Oscar offered, getting in the bed and pulling the comforter up to his waist.

"You're saying that as if it only takes me to make a baby", you spoke after spitting the toothpaste on the sink, wiping your mouth on the towell to get rid of the remnants.

"They said it like that, not me - but to be fair, they did ask if I would like to have another baby", he added.

Rubbing the cream on your cheeks, you walked back to the bedroom area, turning the light off with your elbow before you sat down next to Oscar, "it's cute, though, that they don't want to just go and ask for a sibling because they understand it's not like that", you said as you snapped your fingers.

"Would you? We talked about it a while ago, but then you had the check-ups and the doctor advised us to not go for it yet until we knew for sure you were all good", Oscar mused, grabbing your hand and playing with your fingers on his lap.

"Yes, I think I would. We know I'm all good and all my parts are working just fine, so I'm in if you are", you replied back.

"I'm in too, I miss having a little baby and the sight of you carrying our baby", he smirked, "and the process of making a baby is very fun".

"Oscar!", you swatted his chest.

"We're always telling the boys they should always tell the truth - was I supposed to lie?", he defended himself.

.

"Don't fall asleep, Jack, okay?", you said as you noticed your son nearly falling asleep on his car seat, "we're almost home, love!".

"I wasn't falling asleep", he admitted, blushing at having been caught with his eyes closed and his cheek on his shoulder.

"I know you weren't, but I just wanted to check anyway", you winked through the rearview mirror, playing along with him.

On the days Lucas had violin practice, Oscar was the one to take him there from school and then back home, which meant you only had to pick Jack up from pre-school before going home, which also allowed each of the boys to have one on one time with you.

Encouraging Jack to stick to his routine, you watched him hang his jacket and leave his shoes on the wardrobe by the door before he took hi backpack to the kitchen so he could empty the snack box.

"Are you not feeling better, mummy?", Jack asked you as he walked inside the kitchen, noticing the bag from the pharmacy on the counter, "did the doctor give you medicine to take?".

"I'm feeling so and so, but the doctor at the pharmacy told me something else", you crouched down so you could be at the same level as your son, "can you keep a secret?".

Jack nodded eagerly, showing you his ear so you could only tell him the secret before he realise you two were alone, "Oh, we don't need to whisper, and this way you won't tickle my ear", he admitted with a blush, "tell me, mummy!".

"Mummy hasn't been feeling well, and when I spoke to the doctor at the pharmacy, she seemed to think that maybe I have a baby in my tummy", you smiled, "I need to take a test to know for sure".

"A baby? The one me and Lucas asked you and daddy for?", he beamed.

"Yes, that one - should I take the tests now?", you grabbed the boxes from the bag.

"Yes, mummy, yes! How do you do it?", he wondered.

"Mummy needs to go to the bathroom", you tapped his nose, "I'll open the door as soon as I'm done, okay?", you offered before stepping inside the service bathroom by the stairs.

"Are you okay, mummy? Do you want help?", Jack asked as you could hear him walk along the corridor.

"I'm nearly done, Jack, just need to clean a little mess up I did here", you offered, doing what you needed to do and complying with all the instructions.

"It's okay, mummy, I also make a mess sometimes and you always tell me that as long as I clean up after myself, it's okay", he comforted you.

Giggling to yourself at his words, you washed your hands again before opening the door, revealing Jack waiting for you.

"When do we know?", your son asked as he looked at the plastic tests by the sink.

"In a few minutes", you answered.

"Will you be sad if it says you're just sick?", Jack muttered.

"Well, you and Lucas asked for a sibling some time ago and it would be nice if it was actually the case, right?", you tested the waters, now wondering if it was the right move to tell Jack what you were doing. You felt like you could deal with the negative result should it be the one to come up, but maybe your little boy wouldn't.

"I really want a baby brother or sister, and I know Lucas also wants one a lot, but we can wait", he offered, almost sounding like a grown up while he grabbed your hand.

Once the timer on your watch beeped, you turned the tests around checking for their validity before looking at the result.

"Are you pregnant or are you sick, mummy?", Jack questioned, looking at the tests on your hands, "what does it mean?".

"This means I'm pregnant, Jack", you smiled before setting the tests down once he jumped on your arms.

"I'm going to be a big brother!", he squealed, hugging you tightly.

"You are, buddy - are you excited?", you mused.

"I am! I can't wait to tell daddy and Lucas!", Jack smiled back at you.

Setting him back down on the floor, you grabbed the tests, "we could surprise them with something funny - what do you think?", you suggested, heading with him to the playroom so you could get started on it.

Oscar and Lucas arrived just as you were finishing the last touches of the surprise, calling your names.

"We're upstairs in the playroom!", you called back before turning to Jack, "you have to wait for Lucas or daddy to read your t-shirt, okay?".

Lucas was the first to get to the room, coming up to you to hug you and kiss your cheek, "and the teacher said I did really well!".

"That's amazing, buddy!", you congratulated after he told you all about his day.

"Hello, guys!", Oscar greeted, and judging by the bottle of water on his hands, he has stopped by the kitchen before he joined you, "how was your day?", kissing Jack's cheek.

"We didn't do anything special - it was like every day that mummy picked me up while Lucas was at his lessons", Jack told in a nonchalant way, earning a wondering expression on your husband's face as he looked you.

You shrugged your shoulders and kissed Oscar's lips, letting him press his lips on your forehead right after.

"Do you feel better? You don't look so bad anymore", he reasoned as he rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Geez, thank you, Oscar", you chuckled, "but I feel good now", you smiled.

Lucas looked intrigued as he looked at Jack, "why does his t-shirt say he has an expiring date? What's an expiring date, daddy?", he asked as he pointed.

"I'm no longer the little one!", Jack yelled excitedly, leaving Oscar and Lucas a little lost.

"We know you're grown up, buddy - It's when something is not good anymore or when it has an end date...", Oscar offered.

"No, daddy, you're not getting it! I'm no longer the little brother of the family because mummy has one inside her tummy!", he clarified.

Lucas gasped before he ran to you, hugging your legs and resting his cheek on your tummy, "is it true?".

"Yes, love - we're going to have another baby in the family!", you smiled, brushing his hair with your fingers before you felt Jack hug your side.

"I guess there's only me left then", Oscar gestured, hugging you from your back and resting his hands on your tummy, "we're having another baby, Y/N, I love you", he kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly.

Once Jack pulled away, Oscar finally got a proper glimpse of the t-shirt that stated the announcement, reading at the "Little brother: expiring date in some months!" t-shirt the little boy wore.

"Did you do this just now? Since when do you know?", Oscar mused, now finally getting ti hug you properly since the boys had let you go.

"Mummy took the tests when he got home, and then we came here to cut the print and iron letters", Jack offered.

"Yes, not long, I'm not sure it has settled in yet", you mumbled, "another little one, Osc, I love you", you kissed his lips.

.

"Boys, remember what we told you, okay? People are healing and resting, so we have to be quiet and be on our best behaviour, okay?", you checked with them as they got out of the car.

"We will, mummy", Lucas assured you while he held his hand with Jack's, keeping him close as he held Oscar's hand with the other one.

You registered yourself in and then were led to the right exam room, following the orders to lay on the bed and lift your top.

"The bump is bigger, isn't it?", Jack asked as his curious hands touched your skin, stroking it and taking the opportunity to leave a few kisses there.

"It is, little one is growing very well!", Oscar offered.

A knock on the door alerted you to it, seeing the technician step inside the room, "Good morning! How is everyone feeling today?", she asked.

"Hello! We're here to see if we're getting a baby sister or a baby brother!", Lucas offered as he swung his legs on the chair.

"That's right! Are you ready, Y/N?", she asked you with a rub on your shoulder before pulling the kart with the ultrasound machine and laptop with her and sitting on the stool next to your bed.

"Yes, very ready and very excited", you smiled.

"Which one do you think they are, baby brother or baby sister?", the technician asked your boys while squeezing the gel on your tummy.

"Come here, sit on daddy's leg instead of mummy's lap so we can see the baby on the screen there", Oscar explained to Jack.

"I don't know, we're both boys, what is that thing that nana always says? It's like there's always a third", Lucas tapped Oscar's arm as he sat next to them.

"Nana always says that there isn't a second without a third", Oscar clarified, "usually means that when there is a second one, there's always a third one".

"So you think it's a boy?", the technician hummed, moving the wand around, "well, your mummy will still be outnumbered by you guys, but she'll have a little friend to help her! You're having a babygirl!", she smiled, showing you the screen.

"A baby sister?", Jack looked at the screen, "wow, she's so tiny - is that her nose?", he pointed.

"Yes, that's her nose, then these are her legs - they look really strong!", she showed him while Oscar winked at you with a big smile on his face.

"Woah", Lucas mused as he looked at the screen, "how long until she comes out of mummy's belly?".

"That is still many weeks away, Lucas - she needs to stay inside to grow healthy and happy!", the technician explained as she wiped the gel from your belly, "I just sent the scans to the printer down the hall - if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to get them".

After she closed the door behind her, the boys jumped on the bed, hugging your sat up body.

"Can you believe we're having a little girl? A mini you?", Oscar stated as he followed your kids, standing up in front of you so he could kiss your lips.

"These two look like you - I deserve a mini me", you giggled, "Oh My Goodness, a little Piastri girl".

"Uh oh", Lucas said, making you look for any issue or trouble.

"What is it, Lucas?", you wondered.

"We don't know anything about girls!!", he said in a concerned tone.

"We're both boys!", Jack followed in agreement.

"You know Tilly and Lottie pretty well, it's not like you haven't been around girls", Oscar reasoned, not wanting them to feel dismissed as you tried your best to contain your laughter.

"We have to ask Fraser the next time we are all at a race - he definitely knows what to do!", Lucas pointed out.

.

"At least she's comfy - one of us is, anyway", you sighed as Oscar's hands helped you settle in a better position on the examination bed.

"I know we've discussed this with you before, so you probably know that this is the time we talked about. Little one is fully developed now, and she seems like a big girl from our calculations and scans, so I think that now, more than ever you should really think about inducing", your doctor stated.

With Lucas and Jack, the birth was pretty straight forward. The waters broke at home, you went to the hospital when the contractions were closer together and after some pushes, you were happily holding your baby boys.

Your baby girl seemed to have other ideas.

"We wanted to wait for her in her timing, but we understand that that option is no longer viable", Oscar nodded. The team had gone over your exams and they all agreed that induction was looking like the best option so both you and baby Piastri could be happy, safe and healthy.

Squeezing your hand in his, Oscar gave you a reassuring look before you spoke, "we've talked about it, but at the end of the day what matters is that we are both okay, so we'll do the induction. When can we do it?", you asked.

"Well, since it's early and you've only had breakfast, if you go up now, we can settle you in and start the process while your husband gets your things from home if you'd like - your baby is in a good position and we don't foresee any issues to a vaginal delivery", she smiled soflty as she signed a few papers, before handing them to you to sign too.

"Might as well get this show on the road, hm?", you looked at Oscar, "I'll call my parents to let them know".

"Okay, sweetheart", Oscar said before he kissed your forehead, "I'll meet you upstairs, okay? And you, little miss, don't show up before I'm back, okay?", he left a kiss on your baby bump.

"I think it's established that she isn't in any sort of rush", you chuckled, kissing his lips one last time before you parted ways.

While Oscar went home to grab the hospital bags you had prepared, you went up to the labour ward with your midwife Lisa, who happened to be on shift that day.

Checking you in your room, she helped you get comfortable before starting the induction process, "like we talked about, for some women this is a quick process and for some it is a long one. Any way this goes, though, we are all here to help you", she smiled soflty.

Someone knocked on the door, making Lisa look at all the supplies she had and checking if anything was missing until she noticed it was Oscar.

"Hi Lisa, how are you?", he greeted her with a hug before he came to check on you, leaving the bags in their designated area.

"Hello! I'm good, excited to help your little girl come into the world", Lisa smiled.

"And you, my love, are you doing okay?", he asked, looking at the monitor on your bump.

"I'm good, so far so good, and better now that you're here", you pointed a finger on his chest as he approached you.

Chuckling, Oscar kissed your forehead before sitting in the room you made for him, mindful of all the wires connected to you, "did everything get sorted out with your parents?".

"Yes, they'll pick the boys up and look after them - dad told me not to worry about anyone else but me and little princess", you smiled. In the last two births, the first person your father looked for when he stepped into the room was you, claiming that he looked for the person that was already there from before and that he needed to know his daughter was okay.

"I can't believe that this is happening soon, that we're going to have our baby girl in our arms", he said as he did his best to rub your bump despite the wires and monitors that were ensuring you were both doing well.

"Seems like it was yesterday that I was taking a test with Jack on the other side of the door asking me if I needed help", you giggled, "but I'm very excited to have our baby and see who she takes after - I may be too hopeful, but I have a feeling that she might look a little bit more like me", you snickered, "I did all the hard work for nine months and a bit - three times now! I think it's about time this baby comes out looking a little more Y/L/N-y and a little less Piastri-y".

"My genetics have proved to be quite strong, if we are being honest, but I'm also hoping for a little you", Oscar offered as he felt your tightening taut skin under his hand, "was that a contraction?", he said looking at you.

"I think this is the water breaking, do you remember that prickle feeling I told you about in Lucas'? It's like that - oh!", you gasped, "there it goes".

Oscar helped you get up from the bed so you could dry yourself before removing the disposable liner Lisa had laid down for that purpose.

Helping you change into the hospital gown, your husband called the midwife like she had asked you to do, "the waters have broken already? This is good news, means everything is going like it's supposed to, especially ", she said when she looked at the graphs for the CTG machine, checking your vitals too before she left the room again once everything was fine.

When contractions started picking up, Oscar was quick to tend to your every need, walking with you when you felt like movement would do you good before you settled in swaying your hips, your back against his chest while you almost danced around the room, "this is like that time Lando made us dance at the McLaren party", you muttered in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"We're much better now, I think - and you look even more beautiful", he mused, kissing the top of your head.

"Oh, there's another one", you said as you felt the tension on your bump, making you stop and somehow turn around before it got too bad, the new position allowing you to face Oscar as your arm stretched around his neck, your hands lacing at the nape of his neck so you could drop your hips to relieve the pressure from the intense feeling on your torso as you waited for it to pass, your husband's kisses and words of encouragement doing a good job at distracting you from it.

"Do you feel comfortable here or do you want to move to the bed, love? I don't want you to tire yourself more than you are", he expressed his concern as he held you.

"Can I stay here? I like being on your hold and standing up helps, I think", you looked for his approval as you felt his arms ease some of your weight on his neck.

Oscar nodded his head as he kept swaying you around, "Of course, I'm here for you, whatever you need I'll help", he prompted as your neck stretched slightly so you could kiss his jaw, mumbling an I love you to him before concentrating on your breathing again.

Knocking on the door, Lisa excused herself inside and asked how you were doing before checking your dilation, "You're doing really well, Y/N, you're 6 centimetres dilated already! This is going quite quickly I must say", she said and you smiled.

Oscar placed a proud kiss on your forehead while you heard Lisa tell you what to expect in the next few hours, "Do you want an epidural?", she asked.

"I think I'm doing fine without it, but I'll call if it gets too bad", you replied before she nodded and left to tend to the other birthing patients.

Hours later, Oscar had now turned to apply pressure on your lower back with his hands when it started getting a bit harder for you, your elbows on the mattress as you rocked your hips side to side, the interval between contractions now so short you barely had time to rest between them, "I feel like I need to push, my body is telling me to push", you said to Lisa and the nurse that were checking you.

"Why don't you sit on the bed so we can see how things are progressing?", one of them offered as your husband helped you lay down, his hand never leaving yours, "You're crowing, Y/N! It's time to meet your baby!", Lisa announced as she got in position.

"All good, Y/N? I know it hurts, but I also know you have got this", your husband whispered as he positioned himself so he could be right by your side.

"Y/N, when you feel the urge to push, do it okay?", the health professional urged you as you nodded, "your babygirl is ready to come out and everything looks good for her!".

Holding Oscar's hand and squeezing it, you cried and grunted slightly, hearing Lisa announce that the head was out and you needed to do a big push for the shoulders, "this could be a good sign for mini me - my mum always said I had a big head", you groaned.

"C'mon, Y/N, big push", the nurse encouraged as you felt Oscar's lips by your ear, "I know you can do this darling, just two more pushes and our baby girl is here", he said and you did what your body told you, pushing and breathing until your baby was out in the world.

Sitting back against the pillows, the nurses lifted the little girl and after a few taps on her pink cheek, she let out a high pitch scream both you and Oscar were sure to remember for the rest of your lives.

"She's here, Y/N, congratulations mummy and daddy", Lisa said as she placed the baby on your chest.

The baby girl your's and Oscar's love, along with the one from your family, produced was finally here. Pushing your gown to the side, you uncovered your chest as they placed her down, the skin to skin contact soothing her cries immediately, "Hello my love, I'm your mummy", you said as tears gathered in your eyes, your finger coming to stroke her pink chubby cheek as you admired her.

"She looks a lot like you, I think we've nailed the mini you, love", Oscar said between tears.

"That is daddy, I'm sure you recognise his voice too", you cooed, "we've been waiting for you for so long, and you're finally here".

Oscar kissed the top of your head before kissing the top of the little girl's head.

"Hi princess Isabella, we're so happy you're finally here", he said tearfully as he stretched his finger so your daughter could grab it between hee much smaller ones.

"Now we're gonna need to take little Isabella - such a beautiful name - to check everything while you deliver the rest, okay?", one of the nurses said and you extended your arms so she could grab her.

Oscar looked over to the nurses' station as they measured and weighed the baby before he looked down to you on the bed, "Thank you for making me a father again, I love you both so much, my love", he said with loving and still a bit teary eyes, grabbing your hand in his and kissing them before touching your forehead lovingly.

"I love you so much, Oscar", you whispered and you kissed his hand that was caressing your cheek, "there's no one else I'd be a parent with".

After delivering the placenta and having your baby girl back in your chest, Oscar couldn't stop the overwhelming surge of feelings in his chest. He was so happy and grateful for you and at the prospect of the life he had yet to fill with memories with your family.

.

When you were finally able to bring Isabella home, the boys were the best behaved you had ever seen them. They weren't troublemakers, and from what you heard the other parents share whenever you waited for the kids outside the school gate, they definitely were a breeze compared to the stories you heard, but this was new.

"I'll fill this up for you, mummy", Lucas stated, grabbing the water bottle you kept near you ti make sure you were drinking enough and helping your milk supply.

"Thank you, buddy", you smiled, adjusting Isabella's head so she could have a better latch.

"Here are the nappies for Isa", Jack offered as he carried the unopened packet he offered to get from the nursery so you could refill the caddy you kept in the living room.

"Thank you, Jack, that's very helpful", you smiled as Oscar sat next to you, "they're being so helpful, it's so cute", you mused.

"Before you came home, they helped me and your parents tidy up and they promise your dad they would be on their best behaviour", your husband mused, kissing your shoulder and looking at your daughter as she suckled on your nipple, never getting tired of watching her beautiful face.

"At what time did Lando say he was coming to visit?", you asked, squinting to look at the time on the TV.

"He said he'd be here in an hour or so, and then his wife and the kids would come later after she got them from school", Oscar mused, "here, let me burp her", he said.

Wiping the corners of Isabella's lips, you kissed her forehead before letting her go to Oscar's arms, watching his tap her back to get all the wind out before she looked ready to fall asleep.

"Mummy is going to have a shower, so you two be good, okay?", you told the boys before you headed up.

Oscar was resting his eyes when his phone alerted to who the car he heard outside belonged to, making him get up and open the door to find Lando.

"Well, hello there, Oscar, and little Isabella, hello darling", he cooed, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

"Uncle Lando!", the boys cheered quietly, hugging his legs and letting him ruffle their hair.

"Where's your mummy?", Lando asked, "I brought this goodie bag with all things for postpartum fun! We got one of these from my sisters when we had Lottie and it helped a lot".

"She's upstairs, she said she was going to have a shower and my bet is that she's taking a nap", Oscar added, letting Lando sit before he could pass the little bundle of joy to his arms.

"Hello, little princess, aren't you a cutie", Lando said as he looked at the youngest Piastri.

"You have to support her head, like this", Lucas advised the father of three - soon to be four.

"I know, buddy, thank you for your help", Lando smiled at his protectiveness, letting the boys sit on either side of him.

"She doesn't like when her hands aren't covered - let me fix it", Jack offered before he pulled on the blanket around his sister's hands.

"They're both like this all the time?", Lando wondered as Oscar nodded.

"They don't let anyone else touch her without them being near - only me and Y/N get to keep her to ourselves", Oscar chuckled.

"Oh, she's fussing, daddy!", Jack alerted him.

As if on cue, you walked downstairs and into the living room as Lando was up, trying to soothe the little girl, "it's alright, uncle Lando is here, Isabella", you heard him tell her gently.

"Hello", you greeted as all eyes landed on you.

"Yeah, that's your mummy, babygirl", Lando assured, "and you want her, don't you? I can't compete with your mummy, can I?", he said as he walked closer to you, giving your daughter back so she could cuddle into your chest before he squeezed your arm.

"Thank you", you smiled, "you met uncle Lala, babygirl?", you mused, stroking her cheek and feeling her cries soothe down.

"Just about, yes - your boys surely have the protective older brother thing down", the british driver giggled.

"They're already the best big brothers and she has only been with us for a couple of days", you smiled.

[beenbaanbuun]

Mug w/ Jung Wooyoung

this has been in my drafts for months and i’ve always wondered whether or not i should release it since the material could be triggering to some people. i guess i’ve finally settled on putting it out there, so please heed the warnings before reading it. i don’t want this to affect anyone negatively.

warnings: mentions of past abusive relationships, self doubt, slight dissociation, panic attacks, blood, self harm in the form of skin picking. i think that’s it but please let me know if it’s there’s anything i forgot to mention

——————————————————————————

“I’m not mad,” Wooyoung said, as if that made anything better. The tension was still there, eating you alive from the inside out. So was the guilt.

“But you’re disappointed, right?” You countered, knowing how this sort of thing goes. They tell you they’re not mad, but you have to face the consequences anyway. And there were always consequences.

Wooyoung just stared at you with unreadable eyes. They looked almost pitiful in a way, but why would he pity you for what you’d done? He should be screaming at you, throwing things around just to prove his point. Just to make you submit to him once more. That’s how it normally went for you.

But Wooyoung had been kind up until now. He was a gentle soul who preferred to steer you in the right direction if you ever misstepped. There was never any shouting within the four walls of your relationship, nor was there any placing the blame on you being ‘useless’ or any other such word. He was just… nice.

But there had to be a day when that ended, right? You’d fucked up big time this time and he must’ve realised that his kindness isn’t working by now. He had to know that the only way to get you to learn was by putting you in your place.

“Baby, what’s going on?” You were desperate to answer, fumbling over your words trying to find a suitable answer that would reduce your punishment. Perhaps you could tell him you were sick! That always worked when your last partner was mad at you. It would at least postpone whatever was going to happen for a few days. Wooyoung, just frowned. “Calm down, sweetheart.”

But you couldn’t. You knew this was the breaking point so how could you be calm about such a thing? No matter how gentle Wooyoung had been up until this point, you knew it wouldn’t always stay that way. If you’d been taught anything it’s that you were a bad girlfriend, and the only way to make you good was to hurt you. Fear was a powerful teacher, afterall. Fear wouldn’t let you be so careless about your actions.

It would hurt to say goodbye to this version of Wooyoung, you had to admit, but you always knew it was coming. He couldn’t stay his annoyingly loving self forever because you couldn’t stay well behaved forever. You only had yourself to blame for what was to come, really. Did you even have the right for it to hurt?

No, you decided rather quickly.

Wooyoung stared at you, unsure of what to do as you seemed to completely depart from reality. Your eyes were glazed over as you stared off into the distance, and your fingers picked at one another so bad that it fetched blood. You didn’t flinch as the crimson liquid beaded up on your fingers, though, almost as if it didn’t hurt you at all.

Your breathing was heavy and ragged and Wooyoung could tell you were barely staving off a panic attack. He’d done it often enough himself to know exactly how to recognise it, but for some reason, he didn’t know how to help. Something told him you didn’t want to be touched, but he wasn’t sure of how else to get your attention. He’d been calling your name with no success, but the last thing he wanted was to raise his voice. If he was in the slightest bit angry with you, perhaps he would’ve, but he wasn’t. Not at all.

He spared a quick glance towards the trash can, his favourite mug resting at the top in shards. It was really the only one he used, the weight of it just feeling… right. You’d bought it for him when you first started dating a few months ago and although the saying on it made him cringe a little, he’d learnt to love it. Of course, he was sad to see it go, but it was only a mug. He could always get another one. It wouldn’t be the same, but then again, was anything ever the same as the thing it replaced? And you never know, maybe he’d end up preferring whatever mug he got to replace it.

With a sigh, he turned back to you. There were bigger issues to deal with than a mug. You were still barely keeping away a panic attack and your blood from your fingers starting to smear grotesquely across your hands. He briefly wondered where he kept his first aid kit before realising that too was a problem for later.

“Sweetheart,” he mumbled as he walked closer. He didn’t lay a hand on you but instead spread his arms as if he were herding a scared animal. He felt stupid doing it, but you started to back up and eventually landed upon his sofa. He tried to ignore the pang of pain that shot through his chest when he thought too deep about the implications of the situation, but it was hard when you were backing away from him like he was going to hurt you.

Oh.

His stomach lurched and for a moment he was sure he was going to throw up. He begged for it not to be true, but it fit way too perfectly not to be.

Someone had hurt his baby.

Wooyoung couldn’t help the rage that filled him from head to toe.

He wanted to scream, and throw things, just to get his rage out, but he couldn’t. To risk scaring you even more would be a cruel thing for him to do. Even if he were sure it would make him feel just a little more calm, he couldn’t bear to think of doing anything that would make you afraid of him. He simply had to hope that his anger would eventually peter out, and he wouldn’t be reminded of it every time he looked at you.

Deep breaths, he told himself as he took himself over to the sofa to sit beside you. One in, he shuffled closer so he was almost pressed up against you. You shuddered and Wooyoung frowned, but he didn’t move away. He couldn’t move away.

One out, he said your name in the softest voice he could muster, finally bringing you out of the trance you’d found yourself trapped in. He wondered why this time it worked when all of the other times you ignored him. Perhaps it was his proximity. It was a long shot, but perhaps you felt a little safer with him so close.

One in, he asked if you could hold you in his arms.

One out, you gave him a shaky nod and crawled into his lap. He hated to think that you were only doing it because you thought he’d be mad otherwise, so he let you know that you didn’t have to.

You did it anyway.

“Sweetheart, I need you to tell me that you understand that I’m not angry,” he whispered into your ear, wrapping his arms around you tightly. When he was fresh out of a panic attack, he always liked pressure. With the way you seemed to go limp, he assumed you felt the same. “Not disappointed either. It’s a mug, baby.”

“Your mug,” you replied as if that made your reaction seem any more normal, “I broke your favourite mug.”

Wooyoung sighed. Whilst it was the truth, it was nothing to be angry over. He wondered how many times he’d have to clarify that to you before you understood? Whatever. It didn't matter. He’d tell you as many times as you needed to hear it, just as long as you knew you were safe.

“We’ll it’s only my favourite because my favourite person got it for me,” not a complete lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. For some reason, though, he felt as though ‘it was a nice weight in my hands’ wouldn’t have been so effective in trying to get you to calm down.

“But I bought you that mug?” His heart broke a little, but he couldn't let that show. He refused to give you another reason to throw mental punches at yourself.

“Well then, I guess that makes you my favourite person.”

There was silence for a few seconds as you considered his words. There was no trace of a lie in his voice, but you still found it hard to believe that he was telling the truth. He was surrounded by so many wonderful people who didn’t fuck up nearly as often as you did, and yet he still chose you to be his favourite? You doubted it, but you would never call Wooyoung a liar.

“And I want my favourite person to know that I would never do anything to hurt them,” he continued, voice suddenly a little more solemn, “because why would I ever want to hurt someone as lovely and precious as you?”

“I’m not lovely,” you hid your face in his neck, partially to cover the blush, partially because you were afraid of what may come at the inadvertent accusation. He merely chuckled, bringing a hand to cup the back of your head.

“Yes you are, you little liar,” a kiss, warm and chaste, was placed to your temple, “and I don’t know how anyone could ever tell you you’re anything less than the most wonderful person to ever walk this planet. You’re so kind and thoughtful and even if you do mess up sometimes, that’s okay because you’re human.”

You just nodded into his neck, no longer wanting to deny his compliments. Even if they were just being used to butter you up, you let them sink in. As long as they came from Wooyoung’s mouth, you told yourself you would believe them, for his sake. He’d yet to prove himself to be anything but a good boyfriend, the least you could do was believe him.

“I love you,” he mumbled into your hair, “so incredibly much.”

“I love you too, Woo.”

“Will you let me patch you up?” He asked, pointing at your fingers but placing his hand over your chest where your heart was beating deep within. You couldn’t know for certain that this relationship would be different, but the look in Wooyoung’s eyes made you feel like you could trust him. It would be a long process, you knew that, but you knew he would put in the work.

You knew that he could make you feel safe.

[classypauli]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader

Summary: Tara hates you, you hate Tara and even though your friends think it is just friendly bickering, you both know it’s much more than that.

Tags: Curse words, enemies to lovers thing, slow burn, mistakes, idk what I’m doing

It was obvious to everybody that you and Tara had a weird friendship, well if they could tell you are even friends. There were always curse words flying in between you two, sending death glares to each other if you were in one room. But everyone around thought that things like that are normal, you just like to provoke each other, right?

But only you and her know that it´s not just classic friend-bullying. No, it is so much more.

Tara hates your guts, the moment she sees you somewhere near her throat just becomes more narrow and her gag reflection comes out. She doesn´t know what had made her this mad and hateful toward you. The girl´s guessing the feeling just gradually grew up inside of her.

 You have known each other for a quite long time but no one can really remember when it began. Maybe because it was always like this.

Someone would think that when you don´t like someone you would try to avoid that person as much as possible. That was not your case... you and Tara had the same group of friends.

„No, we definitely won´t watch that damn movie again.“ You snatched the TV remote from Tara´s hand.

„Hey! Why do you feel like you can just decide for others what we will be watching?“ The girl barked at you, trying to get the remote from your hand. You pushed her away with your free arm, making a barrier between the two of you.

„Because I know that they don´t want to see that again!“

It was Sunday night and like always, your friend group would meet at someone´s house and watch a film. It was the group´s tradition and no one dared to break it.

Tonight Tara wanted to watch the Babadook once again, not like they hadn´t seen it a thousand times already but well, nobody could resist a sweet girl like Tara. No one but you.

Tara was now glaring from her spot on a couch far away from you. „Yeah like you know everything you fucking dumbass.“ She said as she folded her arms, squinting her eyes at you.

„Don´t look at me like that you fu-“

„Y/N!“

„What?! She can open her mouth but the second I open mine I´m being scolded?“  You yelled at your friends with wide eyes, not believing what you just heard.  

You let Mindy take the TV remote from you, not really paying attention to what she was doing. „Today is Tara´s night to pick a movie. We should respect her decision.“ Mindy said as she gave Tara the controller back.

Chad tapped your shoulder from beside you, giving you a tight smile. You almost forgive them at the moment but the second you saw the young Carpenter giving you a teasing smile from the other side of the room, your hands turned into fists.

-

„I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!“ You said and each time punching the school locker. Slow breathe in and out and you just calmly put your forehead against the cold metal.

It was every morning routine for you to swear at a certain girl. Like how you could not when the second you see her your nerves are up to the roof.

Mindy was standing beside you, scanning you a little with the face she puts on every time she thinks hard about something.

„What?“ You asked with a low voice, raising an eyebrow at her. She sighed and looked back at you.

„You know, I always thought that you and Tara had a weird friendship but... I don´t know I was thinking that it was just an act, like you would be by each other sides if something bad happened to someone from you two.“

She was still looking into your eyes trying to find some answers, like you are faking your hate towards the girl or that you don´t mean it as much as it looks like. But to her surprise, she didn´t find anything.

„Mindy you know I appreciate you and everything but this...“ you pointed at your chest and to the distance in the hallway. „will never change. It´s just how it was made to be.“

„But can´t you just try to be a little more human to each other? Is it that hard?“

To be honest you can´t even imagine how it would be if the two of you get along normally. To you this is normal, you and her arguing like some rivals. Everything opposite to that would be not normal. You closed your eyes and an image of Tara smiling and being sweet to you came into your mind.

„AH!“ Mindy flinched at your sudden yell, not understanding looking around in confusion. The students in the hallway were giving you two weird looks as they were passing by.

„Why are you yelling!“ She punched you in the shoulder. „Everyone is now looking at us!“

„Sorry, I just imagined Tara being sweet.“ You shook your whole body at that thought. „Never again. Gross.“

Mindy shook her head from side to side at your child's behavior, grabbing your elbow and leading you into your first class. 

Everyone from your friend group was studying in the same school, that´s actually where you have met most of them. The first one you have become friends with was Mindy. You were quite awkward at that time, not a really sociable kid. Mindy makes sure to bring that up sometimes.

She was with you from day one and she´s the closest friend you have. That´s why you take her words a little more seriously than others.

-

Tara was in her room, studying for upcoming exams. Since she started studying at university everything felt different. She didn´t decide if it was good or not but as long as she wasn´t thinking about her past it was good.

That´s actually what she was looking out for, a new school and people, some fun. She wanted to leave her past right where it was supposed to be. Behind her.

 Don´t get her wrong her friends helped her so much but some things are hard to get over. Like relationships. And Tara doesn´t mean relationships like you have in kindergarten, innocent and forgetful.

She means like the one when you feel like you found your second half. When you feel like everything is for the first time, like when you are excited to try new things with that person or go to visit new places together.

Like when you tell each other your secrets and afraid, your best memories, and your deepest wishes. When you are just for each other, not for others. When you know you have someone you are connected to.

That kind of relationship.

Someone would say that she is too young to know what true love feels like but aren´t teenage years those when everyone felt like they were in love?

 Tara was glad she could start fresh and that she had her friends along her way to her new self. That self, that would make her love herself again.

A soft knock was heard on her door. The girl slowly turned her head from the book to the direction and was met with her sister´s face.

„Hey I´m heading to work.“ Sam said as she was leaning behind the cracked opened door. „Don´t forget to lock yourself. If anything-„

„Call me.“ Tara cut her sister´s sentence off as she smiled at her a little. „I know Sam, don´t worry.“

„Uh yeah, so- I´m going. Bye.“ Sam looked one last time around the room before turning around to leave.

„Bye! Be safe!“ Tara yelled before she heard the main door shut.

Tara turned back to her books continuing with her school work, not even after a couple of minutes she heard a loud noise coming from the neighbor next door.

Tara huffed and put her head into her hands. „Not again.“

The girl stood up aggressively from the chair and quickly walked out of the doors. She made her way to her neighbor´s door and knocked loudly a couple of times.

This was nothing new, it happened a lot of times already. The walls of the flat aren´t that thick so you could hear every little-more loud sound from the next apartment. Tara doesn´t know what is worse, the part that the annoying noise comes every time she tries to study or that her neighbor next door is-

„What?“ you asked as you opened the door. You stood there with a headset around your head and a controller in your hand.

„Listen, nobody is curious about your child´s outburst from losing a stupid game. Some people are trying to do more useful things in there and you should respect that.“

 You were looking down at her dead in the eyes with a raised eyebrow. „That´s all?“

Your arrogance was one of the things Tara hated about you. She knew you were just trying to get on her nerves and as much as she tried to get herself together and not let you win- you were good at that.

She breathed out an air from her lungs and started to walk to her apartment again. This was on the agenda with you two. Nothing new and Tara knew this would also never change. Not when you act like a complete idiot to her.

She wanted to get back to her studies but her phone rang signaling a new message. She swiped up her lock screen seeing that she had some unopened messages from the group chat.

Big boy Chad: Guyz there´s an upcoming festival this weeknd, u down??

Mindy smartass: Kid

Big boy Chad: Come n tell it to me in ma face

Mindy smartass: ...

Phlegmatic Y/N: You write like a twelve-year-old

Phlegmatic Y/N: When you become more mature I will go

Big boy Chad: k

Mindy smartass: I´m down with Anika

Big boy Chad: Ew u gross

Mindy smartass: ?

Phlegmatic Y/N: Me too

Phlegmatic Y/N: Ask midget

Carpenter no2: Fuck off

Tara Carpenter hated you with all her heart.

A/N: You read this far? Really? Uhm anyway! Someone gave me idea to do enemies to lovers and to be honest I have never wrote something like this so bear with me! A little chapter for the beggining but there will be more. Thank you for support and see you next chapter 🤍

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

candy girl 2

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: as you’re about to take the next step with your boyfriend, doubts begin to arise. (short!plus!reader)

Characters: Thor (boyfriend’s dad/silverfox)

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself. <3

You sit on Magni’s bed, your back to the wall as the noise of an engine revving comes from the sound bar vibrating under the large television at the other end of the room. He hunches over the controller as he races his digitized foes and you try to see the race around him. You’re dead board and all that grease is making you sleepy. 

You yawn and check the time, looking for some segue to get out of there. He swears at the screen and throws the controller, giving you a start. He’s so wrapped up in that game, he might not even notice if you just left. 

“Woah, Mag, it’s just a game,” you sit forward with a nervous giggle and eyes the screen, “second isn’t too bad.” 

“Second won’t get me the trophy,” he sneers. 

You get on your knees and crawl across the bed, reaching for him. As you touch his shoulder, he stands kicks the rolling chair by his gaming desk. You wince and sit back on your heels. 

“Mag, chill out,” you whine. 

“Don’t tell me to fu--” 

“Getting late,” Mr. Odinson’s voice cuts through his son’s as he pushes the door fully ajar. You made sure to keep it halfway open.  

“Uh, yeah,” you turn and bounce across the bed, thankful for the interruption. When Magni gets like this, he’s scary. And for what? Some Forza? “I should head out.” 

“Mm, driving home in the dark isn’t very safe,” Mr. Odinson comments, “you don’t have to go.” 

You flick your lashes and give a strained smile, glancing over at Magni. You’re definitely not bold enough to stay the night with his father there. You search around and grab your bag from where it hangs from a dresser knob. 

“Really, I should just head out,” you insist, “you two, enjoy the leftovers.” 

“Well, er, I made up the couch in case...” Mr. Odinson begins and shrugs with one arm, “I just thought, well, you’ve worked all day and--” 

“God, dad, you’re lame,” Magni puffs, “she can just stay in here.” 

You yawn and your hips ache. You can feel a day of driving throbbing at the base of your spine. You don’t really want to make the thirty-minute drive home. The couch is a happy medium. 

“Really, thanks, .” you stammer, “if you don’t mind, I will crash on the couch. Gotta be out early though.” 

“Great,” he drops his hand, “you know where everything is.” 

“Dad,” Magni groans, “why are you even here?” 

“Love you too, son,” Mr. Odinson scoffs. 

“Um, I’m tired, so I’ll...” you look around, “I’ll lay down. Night, Mag.” You cross the room to offer him a kiss and he rolls his eyes. He leans down and you peck his cheek, turning back as Mr. Odinson looks conveniently at the floor. “Alright, uh, good night then.” 

You go out into the hall as Magni grumbles and you hear the noise of him exiting the end screen to start another race. He hardly seems to care about anything beyond his X Box. You trod down to the front room and see the couch neatly made up with a sheet across the cushions, two pillows, and a quilt.  

“Wow, thanks,” you say as you put your purse on the end table, “awesome, Mr. Odinson.” 

You pull back the blanket and sit, still in your uniform, and stretch your neck. You look at Mr. Odinson as he watches you and give a sheepish grin. Is he expecting something? 

“Um, right,” he claps his hands, “I was going to offer, if you needed, something to sleep in? I think one of my shirts might fit.” 

You look down at yourself then at him. You shrug. Probably. He is a pretty big guy. 

“If you don’t mind, but I can manage,” you assure him. 

“Not at all,” he assures and trots off. 

You stand as he leaves the room and take off your belt, easing the pressure around your middle. You’re stiff all over. You fish your phone out of your bag and check the time. The battery is about to die. You find your charge and bend over the side of the couch to reach the plug behind the end table. You groan and strain until you manage to hook the prongs into the socket. 

You stand and brace your lower back. As you turn around, Mr. Odinson is right there. You wince and let out a strange hiccup in surprise. 

“Oh, I didn’t hear you,” you trill, “thanks, Mr. Odinson.” 

You take the shirt as he offers it. 

“You know you can call me Thor,” he intones, “you’ve been around long enough.” 

“I know, it’s... habit, I guess,” you clutch the shirt to your stomach.  

“I’ll, er, leave you to it then,” he backs up, “you know where to find me if you need anything.” 

“Sure,” you smile and sit down again, stifling another yawn as you tuck your chin down. 

“Good night, little one,” he drawls and slowly stalks off, his footsteps creaking down the hardwood. 

You wait until you can’t hear him then unfold the shirt. It’s a light weight fabric with a logo on the left side of the chest. Probably one of many. Usually, when you come around, he’s on his way to some gym session or he’s in the basement beating the boxing bag. At his age, he’s a lot more active than you or your peers.  

You peel off your uniform shirt and groan as you unhook your bra. Your chest drops heavy and your massage it for a moment. You pull on the fresh shirt and undo the button of your fly, letting out a sigh. Much better. 

You reach behind you and shut off the lamp, the house growing dark. You lay down and let yourself deflate. Oh, that’s a nice couch. It’s even better than your bed at home. Everything about the Odinsons’ is nicer; quieter, too. 

You jostle onto your side and nestle into the cushions, tucking a hand under the pillows. The stretch in your back muscles feels nice as you bend your legs, one hip popped up as you poke a knee out from under the blanket. 

Your eyes close and you welcome the scratchy fatigue that makes your lashes cling. Sleep always comes easily. You’re usually too tired to think and your dreams unfurl in a surreal repetition of reality. You can hear yourself snoring but don’t rouse at the low rumbling. 

It isn’t until the pressure settles in your bladder that your eyes open. You’re on your back, the weight of your chest throbbing in your spine. Oof, you don’t usually sleep like that. You pull down your shirt as it’s ridden up your stomach and the blanket pools around your feet, messed in your deep slumber. 

You push yourself up and stagger to your feet. You rub your eyes as you come down the hall, the darkness pulsing around you. You look up as you hear the hardwood creak but find the space empty. You near the bathroom and drag your feet inside. 

You close the door and tend to your full bladder. As you come back out, you’re hardly more awake. You hear snoring coming from Magni’s room. It must be pretty late if he’s asleep. 

A light flicks on, nearly blinding you. You blink over at the open archway into the kitchen. Mr. Odinson’s naked back faces you as he pushes a glass against the fridge filter and the water flows out.  

His back is thickly muscled above the waistband of his grey pajamas and a little bit of extra doughiness bulges over the sides. His arms are corded and rounded with strength and his grey hair fans over his broad shoulders. He hardly seems small before the fridge as he leans and drinks the water thirstily. 

You tear your intrusive gaze away and head back to the living room. You pull the quilt up as you recline, your pulse thumping behind your ears. You don’t know why. That moment just felt strange. Like you shouldn’t have seen him. 

You close your eyes and hum, rolling onto your side once more. The floor creaks and you open your eyes. You yelp as a shadow stands in the doorway. The light flicks on in the hall and Thor stands in its sheen, giving a toothy grin. 

“Didn’t mean to frighten,” he still has the glass in hand, “came down to get water and was just checking in.” 

“Mm, okay, thanks,” you utter and hug the blanket around, “just surprised me is all.” 

“Sorry,” he chuckles, “sleep tight, little one.” 

He flips the light off again and you listen to his departure, his feet taking each step decisively. Your adrenaline continues to flow through you. Or maybe you ate too many garlic knots. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ignoring my ex's threats of suicide?

this is a very old story, but it keeps eating at the back of my brain because i feel like the asshole in the situation, even though people close to me say im not.

i (19nb) broke up with my girlfriend (16f) and told her that we may get back together in the future. we broke up because she was incredibly emotionally draining, it was a long distance relationship, and also, i felt uncomfortable being nearly 20 dating someone in high school (i was also uncomfortable with our age difference for the year prior, but thats a whole other can of worms).

after breaking up, i stayed in contact, because she was my friend and i still liked her as a friend, just not a partner. she had some pretty severe home life issues, and had made extreme comments before ("nobody loves me, everyone hates me, no one would care if i disappeared" those sorts of things). now, i personally chalked it up to be a mix of teenage angst and homelife issues, but she had never made outright threats on her life before. it was always vague, or just an outright meltdown that i would care for her during.

i told her i was taking time for myself, and would probably not date anyone. a few months pass and i meet my then partner (now spouse). i know i fucked up in not telling her that i was seeing someone new, but i didnt really want the backlash of her screaming and yelling and crying over this, so i didnt tell her we were dating, just that i was spending a few months in his country (he had a place of his own, was older and more financially stable, it made sense at the time) and we had grown close.

it came out during a call, about 2 months into me dating and living with my partner, and probably about 5/6 months after i had broken up with them. she had asked if/when i was moving back home, and i told them i didnt know, because i was planning on living in his country. she asked if i was dating him, and i didnt want to lie, so i said we were. she got incredibly hostile, telling me that i shouldnt have lied to her and that i had said i wasnt going to date anyone. she completely melted down, getting incredibly angry to the point of tears, before telling me she was going to end it.

i panicked at that point and started trying to help her through tears, telling her i would do anything, before my partner took my phone from me and blocked her on that social media, calmly telling me to message her friends the situation, and that it wasnt my issue to deal with. i finished blocking her on our other socials (with her messaging me that she was so sorry), did what he said, and waited.

her friends confirmed she was okay later, but they were upset with me for not sticking around and helping her through her suicide attempt.

i still feel like an asshole, even though its been nearly 4 years since its happened. i feel like i should have done literally anything except what i did. ik my partner did the right thing, but also. i dunno. i feel bad i guess.

[catmiemy]

Another Chance to Live Part 2 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Ana has to play against her former club with your former team. You do your best to support each other and slowly become closer.

Part 1

A/N: It took me a bit longer to re-read and edit this than I thought since it made me emotional because of another transfer that I'm still in denial about 😭

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next part. I'm always happy to hear what you think or what you'd like to see in this story.

Just like you had hoped, Ana and you continued to hang out regularly. In fact you spent most of your days off together and even met up fairly often in the evenings, relaxing either at her or your apartment. More often than not you still couldn’t believe your luck that the Swiss woman actually liked being around you too.

You made sure to steer away from any deep topics though, keeping in mind that Ana preferred when you offered distractions when she seemed unhappy. It wasn’t always easy for you because you wanted to know everything about her and you longed to comfort the blonde when she looked at you with sad eyes. However you understood that she had other people, better friends, that she could talk these things over with.

On the other hand Ana with her sweet and caring nature always asked how you were doing and offered to listen to your problems the moment she picked up that something was bothering you. The desire to tell her everything was almost unbearable at times. You wanted to unload all the things weighing on your heart , well maybe not everything, you would never reveal your feelings for her, but other things like the situation at your club or with your family.

However you didn’t. You successfully kept yourself from spilling your sorrows to Ana. For one you didn’t want to burden the Swiss woman with your problems, she had enough going on without you adding to it. And also you didn’t want her to know that she was the only person you would actually feel comfortable opening up to. It was a painful reminder that Ana was so much more important to you than you were to her.

A few days before Atlético was due to play Barcelona in Madrid the two of you were hanging out again. You had cooked some food together and then settled down in front of the TV for the night. You could tell that the Swiss woman was having a hard time focusing on the show you were watching, even though she had picked it.

Ana kept sighing quietly and glancing over at you. You in turn did your best to distract her, offering up your thoughts about what you were seeing on TV. It was getting increasingly difficult not to ask the blonde what was going on.

‘She prefers a distraction. She doesn’t want to talk about it, at least not with you. What she wants from you is a distraction, so try to find some interesting or funny things to say for crying out loud!’ You reminded yourself over and over again.

You were searching your brain to find something good to say when Ana broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?” She asked timidly.

The insecurity in Ana’s voice took you by surprise, that was really unlike her. But you didn’t dwell on it; instead you quickly assured the Swiss woman that she could always ask you anything.

“Okay, so…It’s not really a question but a favor. And it’s totally fine for you to say no, don’t feel bad at all if you say no! Especially because it puts you in a bit of an awkward situation. You know what, I’m just now realizing how stupid and selfish this is and I just changed my mind.”

You reached out to place your hand on Ana’s thigh, hoping to comfort and calm the clearly agitated woman this way.

“Hey, don’t worry. Just ask me. I have no doubt that the answer will be yes,” you encouraged her.

There wasn’t a single thing you could think of that you wouldn’t do for Ana. Well maybe there were some things, most of them illegal in one way or another, but you doubted that the Swiss woman was going to ask for any of them.

Ana took a deep breath before rushing out her request, “Would you come watch our game this week? The idea of seeing all of my former teammates again really hurts and it would help me so much if I knew you were there. I understand that it’s a lot to ask because my team is your former team, so like I said…”

„Yes, of course I’ll come, it’s the least I can do,” you interrupted the Swiss woman.

Sure you weren’t too keen on going back to Atlético’s stadium and see all of your former teammates play together without you, but the simple fact that Ana asked you to come and even said it would help her, was enough to forget all about that. Who cared if it would make you a little sad? Who cared if maybe some people would come up to you and bring up the still painful transfer? You definitely didn’t, not if you had a chance to make the blonde feel better.

For some reason Ana seemed taken aback by your answer. “Wait what? It’s the least you can do? What have I ever done for you? If anything I owe you! You keep hanging out with me; you keep showing me amazing places here.”

You scrunched up your nose at the blonde’s words. It didn’t sit right with you that she made it sound like hanging out with her was a chore for you, not when it was the only thing that brought you any joy lately.

“But I love spending time with you!” You cried out, for once completely forgetting to add the obligatory ‘as a friend’.

A soft smile appeared on the Swiss woman’s face when she heard your words, as well as the indignation in your voice.

“The same is true for me,” she was quick to assure you, before focusing once again on her first question. She wouldn’t let you wriggle out of this so easily. “But seriously why do you feel like you need to pay me back in anyway? I don’t remember ever doing anything for you.”

Slight panic began pumping through your veins, as you scrambled to come up with anything better to offer up than ‘You hang out with me when you’re so much better than me and there are surely so many better people in your life that you could hang out with.’ That just wouldn’t do. It was one thing to be pathetic, but another thing to shout it from the rooftops.

“I didn’t really mean it like that. Just that I’m always happy to do anything for you,” you mumbled finally. This time you caught yourself however and quickly continued, “I love being there for my friends.”

Ana didn’t need to know that there was no one else on the planet you would do this for.

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” the blonde cooed, her compliment instantly making you blush. “And I hope you know that I’m always happy to do anything you need as well.”

You nodded instinctively, not believing it for one second. Not that you doubted that Ana would be there for you in a for a friend reasonable manner, but your commitment to her went way beyond that. There was very little the blonde could ask for that you wouldn’t do for her.

Thankfully the conversation moved on to safer topics after thi and you could relax once again. At least as much as you were ever able to relax around the woman you were hopelessly in love with.

---

When you walked to your seat in Atlético’s stadium a few days later you cursed yourself for agreeing to this. With every step you took it felt like the sadness inside of you grew, taking up more and more space until it was almost impossible to breathe.

This was supposed to be your stadium. Your teammates, former teammates you reminded yourself, had often called you the Alexia Putellas or Leah Williamson of Atlético Madrid. Someone that practically bled their team’s color, born and raised there, and honestly set on dying there too.

Not that you had ever been on a level comparable to Alexia or Leah, which had become painfully obvious when Aleti just dropped you like you were a piece of trash. You hadn’t told anyone this yet, but after that conversation you had seriously considered giving up football once and for all. The thought of playing anywhere else had been ripping you apart. But in the end the idea of not playing the sport you loved at all anymore had been even harder to bear.

You thanked your lucky star that you at least made it to your seat without anyone approaching you. At this point you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep it together if anyone spoke to you. Maybe the people around you could read as much on your face because you could definitely hear some whispering and felt a lot of gazes resting on you, but miraculously people kept their distance.

Although it was possible you were wrong about seemingly everyone watching you. You didn’t look around to check if the stares you could feel were actually real, instead you made sure to keep your eyes carefully trained on the pitch, avoiding making eye contact with anyone, which might inadvertently  give them the courage to come up to you.

So you sat there, totally rigid, every fiber of your body tense, wishing for the seconds to pass by as quickly as possible, but somehow that only made them crawl slower than a snail. Maybe you should just leave, come up with an excuse why you had to go. Was this really worth it?

You got your answer the moment Ana entered the pitch, looking around the stadium searchingly. The instant she spotted you a big smile appeared on the blonde’s face, all of the tightness leaving her body momentarily. 

Yes, this was worth it. Ana was worth this and so much more.

You kept thinking of the Swiss woman’s happiness and relief at seeing you when people got bolder during half time, walking up to you to tell you that they missed you at Atlético, that it wasn’t the same without you and that they would never forgive the club for their treatment of you. Empty words since they were here supporting them right now.

Not that you wanted them to turn their backs on the team. You understood having conflicting feelings, your own probably the most complicated of them all. Being back in this stadium you played so many of your games, made you furious and sad, but it also filled you with a longing to go back and brought about a sense of worthlessness. Why hadn’t you been good enough to keep around?

Despite Ana’s best effort to act nonchalant you saw the signs of her struggles clearly, even from the relative distance of the stands. So throughout the entire game you kept watching the blonde like a hawk, as if you could help her feel better about this by some sort of telepathic connection that required a laser like focus on your end.

This way you observed how tense Ana was when her former teammates hugged her, almost reluctant to accept the loving touches because she knew she wasn’t going to see them again anytime soon after this night. 

You also saw how lost the Swiss woman looked on the pitch when the game started. As if she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that she was on the field with the Barça girls, but not as their teammate.

And you noticed that Ana avoided looking over to the traveling Barcelona fans until the game was finished, despite them chanting her name several times. Only once the final whistle was blown did she go over. It seemed impossible from your spot practically on the other side of the stadium, but you were sure you saw the Swiss woman holding back tears as she thanked them profusely.

You kept on watching while Ana talked with her former teammates. She smiled while chatting, but it was a smile filled with sadness. You briefly wondered if the Barça girls could see that as well. Did they even care? Even though you knew this wasn’t their fault at all, you felt an irrational anger towards them. How could they move on from Ana so quickly? They should have raised hell!

If you would have paid the Barça players any attention you would have seen the unhappiness and concern on their faces, clearly missing the Swiss woman a great deal. However your focus lay solely on the blonde.

The moment Ana disappeared into the tunnels, you also began making your way out of the stadium, keeping your head down and brushing off everyone that tried to initiate a conversation with you. They probably thought you were being rude, but you didn’t care. You were on a mission to get to Ana’s car, the agreed upon meeting point, as soon as possible.

If you would have stopped and thought about it for a second you would have realized that there was no way she would be there anytime soon. The Swiss woman still had to shower and stay around for the post match talk, so really there was no rush. Still, you hurried there as fast as you could.

And to be honest you also felt much more comfortable in the parking lot, an area off limits to the public, than in the stadium surrounded by so many curious fans. They had all been friendly and every single one that had spoken to you had stated that they were on your ‘side’, but nonetheless it was a constant reminder of your unwilling departure from your childhood club. And if it were up to you this subject would stay buried underneath heaps of pretending.

Therefore you worked hard to keep your mind away from your own dark thoughts while you waited for Ana, focusing instead on contemplating every possible emotional state the blonde could be in and how you could be a good distraction for her tonight. Because even though the two of you had to leave for your respective national teams tomorrow you had decided to spend the evening together, maybe even have a sleepover.

When the Swiss woman appeared, the first one from the team to get to the parking lot, she was a little out of breath and looked drained. Not physically, but emotionally. You debated giving her a hug, however Ana decided for you by walking directly towards the driver seat and slipping in without pausing for a second.

You assumed that she was just eager to leave, perhaps scared that one of her former teammates would catch up to her and would want to have a prolonged conversation. That was definitely something you were a little anxious about yourself with your own former teammates. Therefore the quick departure suited you just fine.

And when you caught a glimpse of some of your former teammates entering the car park as you drove off, you thanked Ana in your mind.

The truth was that the Swiss woman had actually done it for you. Throughout the night she didn’t have the same opportunity to continuously watch you as you had, but still she kept glancing over at you any chance she got. And Ana had noticed instantly that you didn’t feel comfortable, everything about your posture and your expression had screamed that you wanted to leave. So she had made sure to rush and get you out of there as quickly as she could.

During the car ride home you kept up a constant stream of light chatter, hoping that it posed a good enough distraction for your companion. Now that she was so close, you didn’t dare to outright stare at her like you had done during the game, but with some quick glances now and then you ensured that Ana looked mostly calm, not really happy though.

At your apartment you had everything waiting for a cozy movie night. You ushered Ana to sit down and relax, while you whirled around the apartment getting everything ready. It didn’t take long since you had prepared what you could before leaving for the game.

Once you sat down and flicked on the TV, turning to the Swiss woman with a slightly forced smile, you noticed that something wasn’t right. Ana was chewing her lips nervously, tapping the tips of her fingers together in quick succession.

“Is everything okay?” You blurted out before you could stop yourself. “No wait, I’m sorry, forget that. Let’s just watch the movie, hopefully that will be a good distraction and if not, just tell me. Then we can try something else. Maybe play a game? Or just go to sleep?“

Ana sighed deeply, unhappiness etched on her usually so happy face. Anxiety began freezing your veins; you weren’t doing a good enough job at distracting her. You weren’t good enough.

“Look I know I said that stupid thing about preferring distractions once but I didn’t mean it. I just said it because…” Ana trailed off, looking very uncertain if she should continue.

“What?”

That was the only thing you could think of. The idea that all this time you hadn’t actually been giving the blonde what she craved most, felt like a stab through the middle of your heart. But even more so you wondered, if you hadn’t than why had she still been hanging out with you?

Apparently Ana decided that she did want to explain her reasoning some more. She took a deep breath before she continued talking.

“I only said it because I felt so bad complaining about my transfer to Atlético to you of all people. But I’ve regretted it almost every time we’ve hung out. Because I want to talk with you about it, I want to talk about everything with you. And most of all I want you to talk to me about your own unwanted transfer and how it makes you feel. But I felt weird pushing you to open up about it after I said I didn’t want to talk about mine.”

There was too much in Ana’s explanation that you didn’t know how to deal with, so you focused on the things that were easy for you, “You know you can always talk to me about anything. Please never feel bad about that, I’m always happy to listen! And don’t worry about me, I’m totally fine with my transfer. These things happen and it’s not like Real is a bad team or anything, so I can’t really complain.”

That was a flat out lie of course, you had been complaining a lot about your transfer and you definitely still had strong feelings about it, all of them bad. But Ana didn’t need to worry about that, not when she was struggling with her own club situation.

The Swiss woman scooted closer to you, putting a hand on your thigh. She looked at you seriously and you knew instantly that the Swiss woman didn’t believe a word you had just said.

“Don’t do that, please. It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel bad after being dropped by your club, I know I do and my connection to Barcelona wasn’t even a deep as yours with Atléti.”

The softness of Ana’s voice combined with her words, words that you had been craving to hear for the longest time, brought tears to your eyes. You blinked furiously to get rid of them and quickly diverted your gaze, hopefully blocking the Swiss woman from seeing your watery eyes. Of course you had no such luck.

Ana closed the last few centimeters of distance between you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Still, you didn’t turn to meet her eyes. You were fine. The transfer didn’t bother you. At least not enough to cry about it to the Swiss woman.

“Maybe tonight we can just be sad together? I think we both need that,” Ana suggested, her voice quivering.

This made you look up. When you saw that the blonde’s own eyes were also filled with tears your resolve to be strong crumbled. If Ana needed this than you would give it to her. And if it just so happened to align with what you longed for as well that was just a lucky coincidence.

“Okay,” you mumbled and that was all Ana needed. She drew you against her, practically pulling you into her lap.

You held out a second longer but when you felt Ana’s body shaking from her sobs and heard her crying, you didn’t bother to hold yourself back any longer, letting your own tears fall.

And that’s how you stayed for a long time, the two of you falling apart in each other’s arms. You didn’t really talk about anything that night, simply relocating to your bedroom and falling asleep in each other‘s arms once all the tears had been shed.

That was a first for the two of you. At every sleepover before you had kept a careful distance, both of you sleeping on their designated side of the bed, but that night nothing was keeping you apart.

[redlightsrachaaa]

make you feel my love

•my men are insane and i need them so bad so i word vomited this atrocity out. seeing the red lights mv changed me fundamentally. this is entirely self indulgent and i need to be sh0t probably

•minors DNI ‼️ 👹

•warnings: nsfw, 3some, porn w no plot basically, unprotected piv (wrap it before you tap it yall), creampie, double pen, dom!chan if you squint

[this is my first ever skz piece and first time ever writing smut KMS pls be nice to me <3]

___________________________________

“-so stay the hell away from her, understood?”

As you step foot into the practice room you see Chan up in Hyunjin’s face, index finger jabbing into his chest. The other members were watching warily from a corner. When they saw you arrive, they bowed politely then hustled the hell out to distance themselves from Chan’s anger.

You quickly interject, stepping between your boyfriend and his fellow band member. “Woah, woah guys! What the hell is going on here?”

Chan turns around and sees you, his expression softening slightly. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. That fucker just pushed my buttons and I lost my cool.” He points a thumb towards Hyunjin whose comments had started the argument. “Just some internal conflicts among us guys. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“You’re a terrible liar Chan. You look half a second away from ripping his head off. Tell me, what was he saying? Was it about me? About us?”

Chan shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, attempting to play off the earlier tension. “I overheard him talking to some of the guys about you. Idiot has a crush on you. Even though he knows you’re with me.”

You glance over at Hyunjin, but his eyes are glued to the practice room linoleum.

“Hyunjin? Is that true?” you ask tentatively.

Chan sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it's true, he answers for his teammate. “But let's not bother ourselves with this nonsense. I have more important things to focus on. We should get home.” He offers you a firm smile, trying to shift the conversation away from the drama and onto something more productive.

“Channie…” you begin slowly. You falter, stepping towards Hyunjin. You had discussed various ways of spicing up your sex life, not that either of you had any complaints, and you confided in Chan before that you had always found Hyunjin to be beautiful. You’d said if you ever were to request a third you’d chose him. Chan hadn’t disagreed either, but seeing as you were both content the topic was dropped. Forgotten.

Seeing you step closer to Hyunjin, Chan immediately feels a surge of jealousy, even though he knows there is no reason for it.

You glance between the two of them nervously , but Hyunjin cuts in. “Chan, before you kill me, I’ve always had a small crush on….. you too.” He looks down at the floor again, cheeks and ears blazing.

Chan's ears redden at Hyunjin's admission, his heart pounding in his chest. He tries to brush off the embarrassment, focusing instead on the situation at hand.

You were just as taken aback as Chan was; you’d had no idea Hyunjin was bisexual. You’d never wanted to assume anything.

“Well,” you say, “that’s something you two have in common, that I presume neither of you knew of one another’s…?”

Chan sighs heavily. “No, we’re both out to everyone in the group, and I am to you, obviously, but I never knew he felt that way about… me.”

“So,” you begin gingerly. “What do you think of Hyunnie?”

Silence. Chan’s ears continue to grow redder.

“He is beautiful, isn’t he, Chan?”

Chan takes a moment to compose himself, pushing aside the sudden rush of emotions. He finally meets your gaze squarely, nodding in agreement. “Yes, he is-”

“Would you kiss him?”

Chan's eyes widen in surprise at your bold question, and Hyunjin’s head snaps up, both caught off guard by its suddenness. He opens his mouth to respond but closes it again, unsure of how to answer.

“It seems he wants to kiss you…” You glance at Hyunjin and see his cheeks are on fire, but he isn’t making any attempt to deny the claim.

You step towards Chan, talking in a stage whisper for Hyunjin to hear. “Come on, Channie. give him a kiss. For me? I hate to see two close friends fighting…”

Chan swallows hard, feeling a rush of heat spreading across his face. The mere thought of doing something like that makes his heart race. He turns to look at Hyunjin once more, studying his flustered expression for a moment longer before turning back to you. “Fine… but remember, this is only because of you. If anyone finds out about this… there will be consequences. Understood?”

Even as he warns you, there's a certain excitement in his voice - a spark of rebelliousness that he usually keeps under wraps. “Fuck… here goes nothing.” With that said, Chan steps forward and leans in close to Hyunjin, brushing his lips against his in a swift yet intense kiss. “Happy now?”

“Hmm,” you say in mock thought. “Now it’s my turn. Wanna share me Channie? I’ve always wanted to try two at once…”

Chan blinks in shock at your sudden proposition, his pulse racing as the reality of your words sink in. He glances over at Hyunjin, who is clearly surprised but seems curious rather than upset. “I… I wasn't expecting that. I don’t know. Is something you really want?”

You nod eagerly, smiling at the both of them. Hyunjin’s voice is a mix of nervousness and excitement as he speaks up. “Let's go somewhere more private first. Can't exactly do this here in the practice room. Too many people could walk in on us unexpectedly. We wouldn't want any unwanted spectators, right?”

We can go back to your apartment yeah?” You ask Chan.

“Uh, yeah, sure, sounds good,” he stutters. “Let's go then.”

He follows behind you both as you leave the JYP building, heading towards his car. His mind races with various scenarios of what could happen once you reach your destination. This is going to be quite the night.

Once you arrive on his doorstep, Chan takes a deep breath, steeling himself as he leads the way into his apartment. This is it.

“Are you sure about this? For anything that might happen? I’ve never done anything like this.”

You and Hyunjin nod, both confirming you’ve never done anything of the sort either. “I’m sure,” you say. “I trust you. Both of you.”

Chan pushes open the door to his dorm room and gestures for both of you to enter. A shy grin spreads across his face as he watches you step into his private space. This was his work apartment, so you’d never seen it before. Whenever he came to see you, you both always opted for your apartment, with its cozy setting and larger square footage.

“The apartment isn’t big by any means,” he begins but you reassure him it didn’t matter. If the bed wouldn’t work, then the kitchen counter or dining table would. Wherever the night led you three really.

Chan nods in agreement, appreciating your adaptability and readiness for whatever happens next. “Right, anywhere works. As long as we're comfortable and able to enjoy ourselves, that's all that matters.” His gaze shifts between you and Hyunjin, noting the uncertainty and excitement reflected in both of your guys’ eyes. With a determined flicker in his own eyes, Chan strides towards the couch, plops down, and indicates that he's ready to proceed with whatever plan unfolds. Hyunjin turns to you. “Lead the way.”

You walk over to Chan, straddle his lap on the couch, and place a gentle kiss on his lips. When you withdraw from his mouth, you turn around and beckon Hyunjin over. He sits obediently beside Chan, and you place a kiss of the same degree onto his plush lips. Chan watches hungrily as you make out with Hyunjin from his lap, pupils blown out, chest heaving. Chan's jaw clenches involuntarily as he watches you engage with Hyunjin, but he forces himself to relax and enjoy the sight.

“Don’t be jealous, Channie,” you whisper once you finish your kiss with Hyunjin. “You both get me tonight.” You smirk when he wiggles his hips under you, no doubt seeking friction. You’d noticed the hard press against your inner thigh as you’d made out with him.

“So what's it going to be?” Chan asks hungrily. “Are we warming up with some foreplay or diving straight into the main event? Your call.” As he speaks, his gaze remains fixed on you, filled with eagerness and excitement for whatever will unfold next.

You smile sweetly and him and Hyunjin. “Foreplay is always a good start wouldn’t you say?”

They both nod as if in a trance. You have them hooked. You look down to Chan, still squirming underneath you. “How do you want me, hmm?”

Chan leans back against the cushions of the couch, resting his hands behind his head as he contemplates your question. “How I want you… well. Why choose just one position when we can explore multiple? How about you start with Hyunjin? See what he’s made of. I'll join in later and we can switch positions whenever we feel like it. How does that sound? Exciting enough for you?”

His voice holds a teasing edge as he imagines the erotic scenarios that await the three of you. There's a palpable tension building in the room, filling it with an electrifying atmosphere.

You nod then turn to Hyunjin and begin slowly stripping his shirt, his lithe torso exposed to the two of you. “You’re so pretty, Hyunnie,” you muse. “Will look even prettier with that mouth on me hmm? Gonna taste me while Channie watches, yeah?”

Chan watches intently as you begin to strip Hyunjin’s pants and underwear, taking in every detail of his exposed skin. Hyunjin blushes, eyes squeezed shut as you reach down to palm him. He’s already fully hard. The sight stirs a possessive desire within Chan, but he restrains himself for now, knowing that patience is key.

With a playful glint in his eye, Chan rises from the couch and starts to remove his own clothing piece by piece, exposing his muscular frame and revealing his growing arousal.

“While you continue teasing Hyunjin, why don't you prepare yourself too? Get ready for what's coming next. Trust me; it's going to be worth it.” His voice carries a seductive undertone as he suggests the next phase of their shared experience.

You release Hyunjin from your hand and lay down on the couch where Chan was previously sat and Hyunjin immediately kneels before you. He makes quick work of it, fingers and tongue working in tandem. Chan watches greedily, slowly tugging himself as he stares.

Chan groans softly as he watches Hyunjin expertly tend to you, his gaze burning with lustful desire. Seeing Hyunjin worship your body like this brings forth a wave of desire within him. Meanwhile, he continues to stroke himself, matching the rhythm of Hyunjin's movements.

“Keep going, Hyunjin… she likes it rough. Don't hold back now.” His voice carries a commanding tone, subtly encouraging Hyunjin to push further into exploring your limits.

Before long, you feel the familiar tightening in your lower abdomen. “Hyunnie….. ‘m close. Don’t stop. Please keep going-”

Hyunjin nods emphatically in response to your pleas, the movement sending shockwaves through you. Chan grits his teeth as he witnesses your impending climax, his own release drawing near.

“Good… keep going like that… don't you dare stop…” He encourages Hyunjin, a dark growl escaping his throat as he struggles to hold back his own orgasm.

You manage to lift your head up off the couch cushion to face your boyfriend. “Don’t finish yet, Channie,” you gasp. “Still need you for later.”

Chan lets out a strangled moan at your words, his grip tightening around himself as he fights against the overwhelming urge to release.

“Fine… holding back for now. But just so you know. Once I get my turn, you're going to feel every inch of me. You’ll remember not to edge me again.” His voice drips with raw lust and restrained power, reflecting the storm of emotion raging within him.

Before you can bite out ‘is that a threat or a promise?’ you’re coming undone on Hyunjin’s mouth and fingers. He withdraws from between your thighs, mouth and chin dripping. You lean in to kiss him and taste yourself on his lips. While he kisses you back, you open your eyes and glance at Chan, an evil twinkle in them.

Chan's eyes meet yours as you exchange heated kisses with Hyunjin, witnessing the intimate exchange with an intense hunger brewing.

“You… devilish woman. Always finding ways to taunt me,” he growls lowly, unable to hide the arousal painted across his features. Keep this up much longer and I’ll take you over my knee.” His threat hangs heavy in the air between you, laced with an enticing promise of raw domination and unrestrained pleasure.

“Now why don't you two come over here so we can properly begin our little game?” With that said, Chan extends an inviting gesture towards you both, eagerly anticipating what fresh adventures await.

On wobbly legs, you stand and Hyunjin helps you up. Chan leads you both into his bedroom where a queen sized bed provides you with more space than the couch.

“How do you want us?” Chan asks. “At the same time? You want me and Hyunjin to fill you up?”

Chan smirks at your hesitation, circling around the bed with a predatorial grace. He glances at both of you briefly before fixing his attention solely on you.

“Yes, that's exactly what I had in mind. Both of you… at the same time… filling me up completely.”

Chan and Hyunjin exchange a smile before Chan asks, “Do you want me underneath or on top? Your choice.” His voice carries a tantalizing edge. “Take your time. We have all night.”

You whine at the thought. “Want you under me And Hyunnie from the back. In my…” you flush, unable to finish the sentence.

Chan nods approvingly at your suggestion, feeling himself leaking from your boldness. “Sounds like a perfect arrangement to me.”

Without wasting another moment, Chan lays down on his back then guides you towards him. He positions himself beneath you and braces himself, rubbing his tip between your folds. “Soaked, love. ‘m gonna go right in.”

You slowly sink down onto Chan with a gasp. You chose him for this position because from your quick glance, Hyunjin was longer but had less girth, so he wouldn’t hurt as much when he fucked your ass.

“Channie….” you gasp, eyes tightly closed.

Chan groans deeply as you lower yourself onto him to the hilt, a wave of pure ecstasy coursing through his veins at the sensation of being enveloped by your warmth. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer against him as he savors the intimate contact.

“Ahh… fuck… you feel incredible, like always. Keep going. Slow and steady.” His voice carries a husky undertone filled with desire and contentment as he revels in the pleasure that only you can provide. “Don't hold back now… show me what you can do. I'm all yours tonight… make me yours completely.”

As you let yourself adjust to his gradual pace, you turn to Hyunjin and nod. He approaches and lines up to your second hole, looking into your eyes. He swipes his fingers down to the spot you and Chan are connected and uses it as lube for your ass.

“Ready?” You nod, Chan still moving below.

Chan nods in approval as he sees Hyunjin position himself behind you. He grips your hips tightly, guiding your movements atop him as you brace yourself for Hyunjin's entry. “Go ahead, Hyunjin. She's ready for you. Just be careful not to hurt her-” His words are punctuated by a deep moan as he thrusts upward into you.

Hyunjin slowly slides in, inch by inch, making sure you’re okay with each of his advancements. Your eyes widen at the slight burning sensation and Chan smiles up at you.

“Feel so full Channie,” you gasp, eyes watering. “Can you feel Hyunnie inside? Up against you?” Chan’s eyes darken at your words and his kiss is bruising.

Chan grunts deeply into your mouth as he senses Hyunjin's cock pressing against him from inside you, intensifying the already powerful sensations coursing through his body. He clings onto you tighter, unable to resist the magnetic pull that draws him closer to you in this intimate threesome.

“Yes… I can definitely feel him inside you. You look amazing… both of you do. Keep going…” His voice grows more passionate with each passing moment, mirroring the escalating intensity of their joint endeavors. “Don't hold back… wanna hear you.”

“Hyunnie…” you say, turning your head as much as you can. “You can start moving now. Want to feel you both moving at the same time.”

Both Chan’s and Hyunjin’s pupils are blown black as Hyunjin begins moving slowly. Your head falls onto Chan’s chest at the sensation. They both have a bruising grip on your hips as they begin using you for their own pleasure.

Feeling Hyunjin start to move within you alongside his own rhythmic thrusts, Chan can't help but let out a guttural groan of pleasure. He tightens his grip on your hips even further, eager to drive both of them deeper into you as they synchronize their motions.

“Yes… just like that. I want to hear you scream my name while we fill you up…” Hyunjin says, who had been all but silent up until now. His voice resonates with desire as he relentlessly drills into you.

The sensation is quickly becomes overwhelming. “Channie, ‘s too much,” you slur. “Need you to go slower-” You begin fluttering around the two of them, and they know it won’t be long now.

Chan senses your distress and reacts instantly, slowing down his pace while maintaining eye contact with you throughout. He leans forward to capture your lips in a tender kiss, grounding you amidst the whirlwind of intense sensations.

“Easy. Just breathe and relax…” His voice carries an assuring tone as he continues to guide you through this shared intimacy at a more manageable speed. “Just focus on the me.”

You nod wearily, and he kisses the tears away that begin forming at the corners of your eyes.

“Shit!” Hyunjin gasps from behind you. “Not gonna last. Do you- d’you want me to pull out-“

You shake your head firmly at Hyunjin's query, maintaining attentive focus on keeping up with the two of them.

“No… don't pull out yet. Lemme ride it out till the end.”

Chan continues to guide you. “We're almost there… hang on just a little longer. You can do it.” His whispered encouragement vibrates against your skin as he plants gentle kisses along your neck, offering solace amidst the tumultuous waves of pleasure washing through you.

“You're incredible. Keep going… give it all you've got…” His praise is interspersed with his deep moans of ecstasy as he seeks to propel each of you towards your ultimate climax.

Suddenly, an idea strikes you. “Wait- Hyunnie!” They both stop moving immediately, worry on their faces.

“Is everything okay? Did we hurt you?” Hyunjin asks. You shake your head.

“No, but… want you both…” you struggle to catch your breath. “Want you both in the same hole.”

Chan exchanges a brief but intense look with Hyunjin before turning back to you, his eyes shining with lust.

“If that's what you want, then that's what we'll give you,” Chan says. “Are you sure about this? Think you can handle it?”

His voice carries an edge of caution mixed with an undercurrent of desire as he waits for your confirmation. You nod. Chan shifts his focus towards Hyunjin, silently communicating their intent to proceed with your request.

Hyunjin slowly withdraws before lining himself up to your pussy. He slowly slides himself in, a loud groan slipping from his lips. Your eyes roll back as they both stay still, letting you adjust. Once you’re ready, you begin bouncing your hips in earnest onto the both of them, revelling in the feeling.

“You like that Channie? Like feeling Hyunjin right up against you inside my pussy? Gonna fill me up good, the both of you.” They both groan at your words, their pace quickening.

“Gonna eat it out of me when you’re both done? Want you to eat every last drop once you’ve filled me up.” You’re babbling now, but the sensations feel so good you don’t care what you’re saying.

Chan pulls you closer against him as he nods eagerly at your suggestion, his dark eyes gleaming with unadulterated lust. “Absolutely… I want every single drop of both of us inside you when we're done here tonight. Nothing will go to waste… I intend to savor every bit of you two.”

“You and Hyunnie can take turns eating it hmm? Do you want that Hyunnie?” you ask as you turn to face him.

Hyunjin’s eyes practically pop out of his head at the thought.

Chan smirks devilishly at your proposal, nodding affirmatively while maintaining intense eye contact with you.

“Yes… I want that,” Hyunjin whines. “I'll make sure none of it goes untasted… every last drop.”

With both of them moving rapidly in you, you were hurtling towards you orgasm, throat raw form screaming.

“Not gonna last Channie …….. Hyunnie… been so good to me, gonna make me-“

Chan focuses all his energy on supporting you through your impending climax, increasing his thrusts in sync with Hyunjin's. He leans in close to whisper hotly into your ear, “You're doing great…keep going… gonna come for the both of us? Like a good girl, yeah?”

His words drive you towards your release. His breath comes out in ragged pants as he pours every ounce of his being into his hips, snapping them back against you in time with Hyunjin. The ferocity of their joint actions and the intensity of their shared vocalizations tip you over the edge and you’re screaming. Tears stream down your face and onto Chan’s muscular chest as they continue their attack on your pussy. You’re clamping around the both of them; it won’t take much longer.

“Amost there. Keep holding on… just a little longer…” With each word he speaks, Chan injects a surge of energy into his pursuit of pleasure, pushing himself ever closer to his climax.

“Fuck!” Hyunjin gasps, and a warm sensation fills you right as Chan wraps his fingers into your hair and pulls you down for a bruising kiss. Chan lets out a guttural groan of pleasure as he releases his seed into you alongside Hyunjin's, their combined cum merging within your pussy. You feel the two of them mixing and slowly dripping out of you.

“You were incredible…” Chan’s voice is thick with emotion as he breaks the kiss, panting heavily against your sweat-soaked skin. The afterglow of the shared climax lingers heavily in the air around you, adding an ethereal quality to the otherwise earthy ambiance of your tangled bodies.

Hyunjin gingerly pulls out first, collapsing on one side of you. You slowly raise yourself off of Chan and follow Hyunjin’s suit, flopping down between the two of them. Chan glances at Hyunjin and they both look down at you with evil grins.

“Got one more in you princess?” Hyunjin says, sounding far more innocent than he looks. Like a cat that ate the canary. Your eyes widen at them as Hyunjin shimmies down your body until his mouth is once again between your legs.

“Such a mess she’s made, Channie-hyung,” Hyunjin tsks, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Oh, I know.” Chan concurs. “Our girl’s made a mess of my sheets. We’ll have to punish her for that…”

Chan smirks down at you as he maneuvers between your legs alongside Hyunjin. “Oh… I can already see how excited you are for round two. Not that I blame you; you look absolutely irresistible after what we just did.”

He watches you squirm while Hyunjin continues the quest to clean you up, his lips pursing as he eats his own release out of you. He had a mix of all three of you dripping down his chin. You thought you could combust. Chan settles his face down and begins his own assault on your folds. You three are eagerly anticipating the upcoming continuation of this shared adventure.

[hunieday]

Re:vale - 2D☆STAR Vol.5 interview

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

This magazine has been released in November 2016 aka before part 3!

Interviewer: Thank you so much for your hard work with the shooting and outfit change! Pleased to work with you for this interview.

Interviewer: It's been a little while, but congratulations on the success of your 5th anniversary live performance at the Zero Arena inaugural event!

Momo: Thank you very much!

Yuki: Thank you.

Interviewer: Your live concert was very exciting. Could you please share your honest thoughts?

Yuki: It was our honor as Re:vale to be chosen to perform in such a special place like Zero Arena.

Yuki: I'm grateful to all the staff who worked hard to make the show a success, to TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7 for their support and their performances, and to all the fans who came to see us.

Yuki: I’m sincerely glad that Momo and I worked so hard together.

Yuki: Right, Momo?

Momo: Yeah!

Momo: I'm really grateful too! I want to thank each and every one of them as loudly as I can!

Yuki: We’re also glad we were able to cover a Zero song as planned.

Momo: And the exclusive one-night shuffle units with TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7 were super exciting too!

Interviewer: Speaking of TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7, they did perform a medley of Re:vale songs, how did you decide on that?

Momo: Actually they didn’t inform us about that, it was a complete surprise!

Yuki: It sure was.

Yuki: We were as surprised as the audience, if not more.

Momo: I almost cried even though we were about to perform!

Yuki: You mean you were actually crying.

Momo: Come on, Yuki, don't reveal Momo-chan's secrets so casually!

Yuki: Fufu. My bad.

Interviewer: I see. Thank you for sharing that precious memory with us!

Interviewer: Allow me to change the topic, could you share your thoughts on this cover photoshoot?

Momo: The shoot was so much fun! There was Re:vale spray-painted on the set which was very exciting!

Yuki: It was. The letters weren't very visible in the end because we stood in front of them, but it was nice to have a set specifically dedicated to us.

Momo: And the outfits exuded our adult charms thanks to the casual jackets and hats, don’t you think!?

Momo: Right, Yuki?

Yuki: Fufu. For me at least. Momo didn't give off much of an adult vibe.

Momo: Huh!? That's not true! I was oozing with charm, right!?

Interviewer: Yes! You both looked wonderful.

Interviewer: The theme of this issue is "Secret Talk with Close Friends", so please tell us about a moment where you felt grateful for having a partner.

Yuki: I'm not good at socializing or livening up the mood, so Momo's ability to make everyone around him happy helps me out a lot.

Momo: I'm happy, but you say that all the time~ Tell me something new!

Yuki: Then show us your example, Momo.

Momo: For me, it's Yuki's cooking!

Momo: I'm really happy that he makes dishes with meat just for me since he doesn’t even eat it! I can really feel your love!

Yuki: Hmm, I see what you mean.

Yuki: Then, during our indie days when Momo and I were still living together in poverty, Momo never got mad at me even when I was getting fired from my part time jobs. I’d love to thank you for that.

Yuki: Thank you.

Momo: You went back in time out of nowhere!?

Yuki: It's about how grateful I am to you ever since we started working together.

Momo: Here it is! Yuki's handsome comment!

Momo: You're in such high spirits today, you’re making my heart flutter!

Yuki: Fufu. Sorry for always being so handsome. 

Interviewer: Since we’re already at it, is there anything you'd like to tell your partner?

Momo: Yuki, there's still a confession you haven’t told me yet, right!?

Yuki: Why does it have to be a confession?

Momo: Because we're on the cover, so it's a great opportunity!

Momo: Please give me a warm confession that will convey our relationship to those who don’t know about Re:vale!

Yuki: Wait. Don't ask me to do things outside my expertise out of nowhere.

Momo: No way... I've always trusted you, Yuki... Was I just a game to you...!?

Yuki: No, not in the slightest.

Momo: If you don't share that special confession, Momo-chan might not recover...

Yuki: Ahh, are we doing this?

Momo: Momo-chan might not recover...

Yuki: Alright...

Yuki: "Until the end of the world, you’re the one and only partner for me in the universe." …*chuckles*

Momo: Yuki, you’ll ruin everything if you laugh at the end!

Yuki: I tried my best, so cut me some slack.

Interviewer: Thank you for the passionate messages!

Momo: Actually, TRIGGER’s Gaku came up with this line for me.

Yuki: The Number One most desired Man is also handsome on the inside, isn’t he?

Momo: I respect him for being able to churn out a dramatic line like that without any shame, even though he’s our junior!

Yuki: That’s right. No matter how many times I say it, it doesn't sound as manly as when he does.

Momo: You'll sound good if you don't laugh halfway through, Yuki!

Interviewer: Now onto the next question. Where do you see Re:vale in 10 years?

Yuki: I'll be 36, Momo will be 35, and it'll be Re:vale's 15th anniversary in ten years.

Momo: I'll work hard so that Yuki doesn't replace me with a younger guy!

Yuki: Hey, don’t say something that might cause misunderstandings.

Momo: Because I'm working on anti-aging!

Yuki: You’ll still be my partner even ten years from now, right? I’m looking forward to working with you more, Momo.

Momo: Yeah! Looking forward to it too, Yuki!

Momo: If I can still be with you and Re:vale in ten years then that's enough to make me happy!

Yuki: Thank you, Momo. I’ll be happy too.

Momo: I’m gonna be a bit greedy, but I’ll also be super happy if all our fans continue supporting us in ten years like they do now!

Yuki: Fufu. Indeed.

Interviewer: Lastly, please share a message for your fans who continue to support you.

Momo: I hope everyone enjoys the cover issue featuring Re:vale.

Momo: We were able to be on the cover of the magazine and succeed in the inaugural performance thanks to everyone's support! Thank you!

Momo: You have plenty of choices with so many charming idols featured in the magazine, including TRIGGER and IDOLiSH7, but please continue to support Re:vale!

Yuki: We were able to achieve all of this, from the magazine cover to the inaugural performance, all thanks to our fans who believed in Momo and I and kept supporting us.

Yuki: We will continue to do our best to keep offering the best Re:vale, so please continue supporting us.

The End

[thoughtsonhurtandcomfort]

Shun the Light - Ch. 9 - Moments

Slow Burn | Refuge | Decision | Mend | Hunger | Thin Mints | The Garden | Philip |

Author's Notes: Not thrilled with how this one turned out but I needed to get some ideas out of my system that aren't quite developed enough to be their own chapter. It fills in some gaps and gives them a break before the next, much whumpier chapter.

Content Warnings: brief use of mind control, that's about it. This one is pretty light.

----

One more night becomes a week, and then another.

Dante never asks Matteo to leave, and Matteo never asks to if he wants him to. Neither wants to know the answer.

-

After learning what he did about the vampire, Matteo feels it's only fair to share a little about himself. One quiet evening, Matteo joins Dante in the living room and just starts talking. He expects Dante to be indifferent or even annoyed, but instead is met with rapt attention.

"I was pretty boring until a few years ago," he begins. "Had a job, a little place, I was dating." He clears his throat and starts fussing with the hem of his shirt - which is in fact one of Dante's or possibly Philip's shirts, he isn't quite sure.

"I met this guy I really liked and we started dating, sort of. It always felt like I was more into him than he was into me."

"So people are okay with that now? You being with another man?"

"Some of them," Matteo replies. "More than there used to be but still not enough. Depends where you go."

"I see. Sorry, continue."

"Well, there's not much else. He got me into some trouble. A lot of trouble, really - "

He catches the trepidation on Dante's face and quickly adds,

"I'm not wanted by the cops or anything. Like I said...no one is looking for me. But I...changed. And I knew if I stayed there I would hurt people. So I left."

Every time Matteo gets close to telling the whole truth, he diverts at the last moment. That would change everything and he isn't ready for this to change yet. But he makes a firm promise to himself to hide during the full moon, lest he put Dante in danger.

"Where did you go?" Dante asks.

"Nowhere, really. I move around a lot. I'm not sure there's a place for me anywhere anymore."

Dante sits back in his armchair and silently reflects on Matteo's story. He doesn't press for details, which is a relief but makes Matteo feel twice as guilty for being so vague.

"When you got here," Dante says after a while, "you were in bad shape. Can I ask...what happened? Were you attacked?"

"Sort of. Some guy caught me on his property and chased me into the woods with a gun. I got cut up on branches and stuff."

That much is, technically, true.

"And after all that you still gave me your blood?" Dante muses aloud.

Matteo shrugs, trying not to feel too proud of himself considering he was only there in search of shelter. Dante was never part of the plan.

"You were in worse shape."

Dante doesn't disagree. "I never did thank you for saving me."

"Well...I never did thank you for the place to sleep."

"Mm. Glad to know my life is at least worth a bed."

It takes Matteo a moment to pick up on the dry humor. Dante isn't smiling, but there's a glint in his eyes.

Matteo wonders what that somber face would look like smiling or laughing. He wouldn't be like the man in that old photograph, not anymore. Sorrow has weighed on him too heavily for too long. But maybe it would be beautiful in its own way.

Maybe he'll even get to see it.

-

Despite his often morose demeanor, Dante is a gentle soul who feeds stray cats and leaves seeds out for the birds even though he'll never get to see them enjoy it in the morning.

Living alone almost fifty years has left him with no shortage of eccentricities. He talks to himself, never has the same routine two days in a row, takes long walks alone at night, and stores blood in mason jars in the refrigerator.

His knowledge and hobbies have been shaped by what is available to him in the house - the books in the office library, the grand piano in the living room, Mrs. Townsend's knitting and needlepoint, an assortment of games and puzzles.

And, as it turns out, basic cable.

"How in the hell did you manage that?" Matteo asks, staring at the old but functioning television.

Come to think of it, the house has electricity and running water. He never even questioned it, and suddenly he has so many questions.

"A very large savings account," Dante explains calmly. Then he looks sheepish. "I may have...borrowed Philip's identity."

Matteo stares at him.

"...I'm not proud of it."

"No, no, I don't care about that, but what happens if something breaks? Or if someone from the company comes by?"

"There's this - this thing I can do. It's probably easier if I just show you."

Dante's eyes gleam unnaturally bright in a way Matteo has only seen a couple of times before.

"Pick up that book. Balance it on your head."

All other thoughts disappear; Matteo obeys without question.

As soon as the spell is broken he snaps back to reality and the book drops to the floor.

"How...wait, did you do that?"

"No. You did."

"But you made me do it."

"Yeah. I can make someone think they were never here. It isn't harmful...I think. And I swear I didn't use it on the Girl Scouts."

Dante seems uncomfortable admitting to using this skill, but Matteo is unperturbed. Even a little jealous - his condition doesn't come with any cool powers.

"What about shopping? I guess you don't have the internet...but maybe the home shopping network?"

"No...no mail. It's not worth the risk of someone stopping by every day."

Matteo chews his lip, thinking.

"I have an idea. What if I went shopping for you? I can go out in the daytime. And I could get some real food...not that I don't appreciate the cookies! What do you think?"

Dante looks stunned.

"You'd do that for me?"

-

The next day, while Dante sleeps, Matteo follows the path of the winding, overgrown driveway to a main road and follows that until he finds a small shopping plaza. It's a long walk but he feels stronger and healthier than he has in a long time.

That evening Matteo sits back with a bowl of soup and watches as Dante eagerly goes through the bags. He had only requested a few new books, the most recent newspaper, and some new pens and pencils, but Matteo threw in some extras just because.

I owe him for letting me stay. That's what he tells himself.

It's all going too well. He should know better than to get comfortable anywhere...or with anyone. As the waxing moon grows larger each night, Matteo knows he should leave.

But he doesn't.

[hanniedream]

Hiiiii I just realized your request are open, so I like to request Hoshi + “can you stay here? please?” I just imagine him being pretty clingy but u want to go after a little fight, just whit a super cute ending because clingy hoshi is sooooo cute

( also is okey if you don’t feel it, don’t fell forced to write it, I hope you have a great day/night 💕✨)

sorry this took forever and i know this isn't exactly accurate to the request but hopefully you'll still enjoy it!

in hindsight, soonyoung probably shouldn't have ranted to you about the disagreement he had with his group mates. or at least, he should've known better than to expect you to take his side. you've never been a yes-man, you always told him when he's at fault and he'd usually be receptive to it except for when he's feeling extra sensitive and on edge. just like today. the last thing he wanted was to hear your lectures, telling him he's in the wrong. he just wanted to be comforted and for you to tell him that everything would be okay.

he was sulking from the moment he walked through the front door, dragging his tired body across the living room to plop himself onto the couch. you can clearly tell he was in a bad mood.

"bad day at work?" you hand him a glass of water then sit down next to him.

he gulps down the water then he's immediately venting about the argument he had with a few of his group mates. it started with a disagreement over something petty like their positions in a choreography that quickly escalated into a heated argument which resulted in soonyoung blurting out "maybe we should just disband instead, since we clearly can't work together."

seungcheol ended up telling everyone practice has been cut short and that everyone should go home to get some rest before the situation gets even worse and they can talk things out again when everyone is feeling better. after everyone had left, seungcheol told soonyoung that he was wrong for saying what he said and that he should apologise once he calmed down and cleared his head. but soonyoung has always been stubborn in arguments and just left without saying anything.

you sigh and rest a hand on soonyoung's thigh. "you are in the wrong for saying that though," you tell him softly. "i can't even imagine how hurt the guys felt when they heard that."

soonyoung brushes your hand away harshly then stands up and he's practically shouting when he tells you, "why can't you just take my side for once? try to see things from my perspective."

you shake your head with a frown and he can hear from your tone that you're frustrated, "i can't take your side when you're clearly at fault in this situation. what you said was hurtful. whatever the fight was about, it shouldn't have gone this far."

soonyoung rolls his eyes at you.

"do you want me to lie to you and say that you were right and all the other guys are assholes?"

he lets out a mumble of "i don't need to hear this from someone who doesn't know how stressful my job is" under his breath and he catches the hint of hurt that flashes across your face but he turns around to storm into the room and you hear the door slam loudly behind him.

he's not a bad person, you're fully aware of that. but soonyoung tends to get overly emotional when it comes to things like this and he just needs to be left alone for a while to settle down before he starts thinking straight again. it doesn't change the fact that the things he say and do during this time can be purposefully hurtful though and you can't bear to be in the same space as him whenever he's in one of those moods.

picking up your phone and keys, you think it's better for you to leave the house for a few hours than to stay here and possibly get into another argument with him and you're about to open the door when you hear the sound of the bedroom door creaking open behind you. you turn around to see soonyoung standing there, wrapped in a blanket, face red and sniffling.

"where are you going?" he asks between hiccups.

"i'm just going out to the store and maybe the park or something."

"can you stay here?" he takes a few hesitant steps towards you. "please? i don't think i can handle being alone right now."

"i don't know if that's the best idea, soonyoung. i don't want us to get into another argument."

he closes the distance between you a little more and you had to hold back your laugh from seeing him waddle towards you like a penguin because of the huge blanket around him. "i'm sorry for how i acted earlier. i had some time to think and i'm feeling better now. i can see that i was definitely in the wrong."

you stay quiet, not really knowing what else to say to that and soonyoung pokes one hand out from the blanket to hold yours and he lets out a small sigh of relief when you don't pull away.

"i'm really sorry for what i said to you. i know you were just trying to talk some sense into me." he continues.

"i know how important those guys are to you, i don't want you to lose them over a fight and something stupid you said in the heat of the moment."

he pulls you closer to him. "i know, i don't want to lose them too. i'll apologise to them later tonight, i'm sure most of them are still upset with me right now."

you nod and he pulls you into a hug.

"i don't want to lose you either because of the dumb things i say whenever i get emotional. i know you understand how hard my job is, i don't even know why i said that when you've been nothing but supportive of me."

he hears you sniffling and leans back to wipe a tear from your face.

"just promise me you'll work on being less rash whenever you get into disagreements, whether it's with them or with me."

he tugs you closer to wrap the blanket around you then squeezes you in a tight embrace. "i promise."

[celestie0]

🪷 girl fuck these people I'm really sorry you're getting so many messages bitching about no smut in ch10. Like who even cares? Does a story or chapter have no value if the characters aren't going at it like rabbits and fucking and sucking on each other?

At this point if you're so disappointed about no hanky panky just go read one of those pornhwas where the characters start screwing at the drop of a hat.

I would've loved that chapter with smut or without smut idgaf it doesn't even matter to me (and the same is for most of your readers too, I'm sure of it). We've all stuck around with your work for so long, and we have faith in your direction as well as your decisions regarding the pace of the plot. It's never that serious, especially not to the stage that bozos feel the need to weep in a writer's asks and swamp them with negative messages. Go jack off or play dj with your hello kitty and go to sleep like the rest of us.

Again, no matter what you do with your work it's entirely your choice. Ofc we as readers can have our own takes and how or why we interact with the work can vary, but it shouldn't reach this stage. I've seen this same story of bullying and pestering authors on tumblr too many times with other authors whose work I enjoy, and many have left their blogs because the harassment made them lose interest in writing and sharing their pieces. It's fucking heartbreaking. Pornhub dot com is right there for y'all to be doing entirely too much in the asks of these writers who are already overwhelmed and write and share all this FOR FREE. If you have so many qualms about it pick up that bic and get to writing bitch!

I'm sorry babe take care! We love you🫂

AHHH LILYPAD ANON I APPRECIATE U SM THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME 😭😭 you’re always so kind to me i sobs

yeahh sigh :( i was just a bit upset that ppl were already finding fault w a chapter i haven’t even released yet just bc it doesn’t have smut in it 😭😭 like i obviously know by now that i can’t make everyone happy, but it’s not right to subtly pressure me into a certain direction for my story (ik this is a normal thing authors/writers have to deal with, i am just a weakling unfortunately 💀💀 my therapist wld agree)

i know it’s not most of my readers though :”) everyone is so sweet n kind n patient, i just don’t understand the some few that think that just bc they tell me they’re disappointed there’s no smut, that i’m somehow gonna go back to my 80pg dissertation of a chapter n make it 100pgs just to add some for them 😅…like no. what it DOES make me feel is icky n sad

frankly it’s really uncomfortable to make an author feel bad that there’s no explicit sexual content in a story 😅 your horny brainrot is showing. like, i AM def planning to write smut in kickoff, there will be multiple smut scenes to come. but even if i suddenly chose not to include them anymore, that’s my right to do so.

and yes, if they want smut, they can write it themselves. why do i need to be the one to write it for you? i don’t owe anyone anything.

i totally agree w you. honestly, i feel bad sometimes setting these boundaries, but you’re SO RIGHT in that SO many authors leave their platforms bc of hateful asks/pressuring comments etc, i’ve seen it time n time again. bc it’s true that it DOES get to people, especially when creating art is already a very stressful thing. i don’t have to passively tolerate rude strangers on the internet just because i’m trying to protect n pursue my passion

thanks sm for trusting my direction :”) and YES absolutely!! i love it when my readers disagree w character actions or emotions, bc characters have flaws n i’m intentional about those flaws, so it’s exciting to see opinions my readers have, even if they’re in disagreement, because it’s interactive w my work. not that i expect anyone to interact ever. i understand that i post on my own accord, so readers can choose whether to interact on their accord as well.

but something about pressuring me into writing explicit sexual content into a story that i’d like to think is a lot more than just smut, is really disheartening.

- ellie 🐸

[theultracharmingladynoire]

I am just so tired of everything but I can't do anything about it

[tariah23]

Now he’s trying to lie when he literally tagged Princeton like 5 fucking time. White people are so evil, bro. They always know what they’re doing when they do shit like that. With the attempt to bring harm to Black people who they want to “get out of the way,” because they don’t think that we belong in the same spaces as them while at the same time, believing they should be allowed INTO our spaces and afforded hospitality and a whole red carpet rolled out. The sad thing is, she has connections to the industry because of her uncle and name so what if this was just a random Black woman who worked for Princeton without this kind of protection at all…?

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

[curiouschaosstarlight]

On a lighter, less cranky note, I wonder what kind of "villain fucker" I am

'cause I don't think I line up with anything "typical", admittedly--

[slippery-minghus]

the bad news is i spent about an hour (after already getting home late) wandering around my apartment crying because i couldn't find my computer mouse anywhere. checking every place it could be twice, three times, knowing i don't lose things because of how badly it messes me up, only finally finding it at the cusp of a very bad meltdown in a place that i had already checked once before (and only once bc i knew i hadn't seen it in there the other day). had to take meds and cbd and lay on the floor for a long time and i still don't really feel ok.

but the good news? i won $100 in a raffle through work. so that's neat.