#ill be honest im not sure if this thing is sane enough to go into the main dghda tag; awaiting peer review on that one

[urlocallesbiab]

imagine if a flower had consciousness. not the whole plant, from rustling leaves to a proud-standing stem to roots, deep and ancient and tangled, interconnected; only the flower. can that really happen? can it have its own self?

well, obviously yes: here it is, the flower, a separate, discrete thing, from the sepal to the tips of its petals — you can point at it and say "this is the flower, and the rest is not", draw a line. you can understand a flower as itself, not to be interchanged with leaves, its own distinct color and smell and personality; a flower can understand itself as an entity.

well, obviously no: it doesn't exist independedly from the plant. how do you actually separate a flower from the purpose it serves, from the nutritients it receives, from the stem it grew from? it didn't sprout into existence in a vacuum, it functions strictly as a part of a more complex whole, in an endless exchange of favors and resources on which every part's livelihood is dependent. a flower is a part of a plant, and a flower without a plant is at best a wilting cut limb and at worst an unsubstaniated thought experiment.

and yet a flower blooms and wilts in its own time, while the plant has stood and continues to stand, a lifetime within a lifetime, a separate chronological framework; and yet when an insect approaches, it seeks the flower's own shapes and colors and fragrance, paying no heed to what lies below. we could argue that a flower can be understood as its own case of existence, but only as one that is ultimatey and intimately connected to something bigger than life.

the universe is the plant; dirk gently's consciousness is the flower. am i making sense?

[sickassastrology]

Who’s crushin on ya!? 😏🥰😍 This is a general pick a pile reading for the collective and your person. It may not resonate for all, so just take what sticks. Feel free to pick just one pile or take a look at them all. but please....be honest with your story. remember that timing is fluid and free will is something we all have. This could have already happened, your going through it, or will happen. Follow your heart always. -E 🌻💙

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PILE 1 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

So pile 1 your person is STUCK on you. This is someone from your past crushin on you. They just cant seem to get you out of their head-its literally making them sick. It’s like they have tried everything to distract themselves. But at the end of the day they are just worried sick, and have to speak whats on their mind. I see two 8s here so that number could be important to you or the connection. This person will be reaching out to you. this person lost you. You walked away from them and continued on with your life. And now that you left them, they are in a state of grief that you aren’t with them anymore. Ohhhhh, I see why you did....they were low vibes, huh? Had additions and didn’t want to come out of them either. Just stuck to their ball and chain. You gave A LOT to this connection. so much so that you were getting drained. I’m seeing a heart monitor, so it was like you were pumping love to this person on life support. And they were taking it. And it helped them, but they didn’t give it back because they didn’t have it. So-you had to leave. im getting that you had NOTHING left. Like even if you tried or wanted to give or have more for this person. they sucked you dry. And this hurt you. I am getting a betrayal energy from this person. They are stalking you too. If you moved on, they are looking at the new person around too. i heard the song “what we could have been“ by H.E.R. I see a guy driving around in his car at night listening to music smoking. So this person is dead in their feelings about you. They are reminiscing a lot about you. Don’t move too fast pile 1 because they are coming back. This person has done some work on themselves while they have been away too. They have been listening to spirit more. You were a divine light to them. you were placed in this persons path to help them with their addictions, help them be a better person. But nope they wanted to stay in the low vibes. like I always say, “and empress will never stay where she isn’t wanted. She will leave-BUT she will always be wanted back. She will always be needed. And this person, pile 1 needs you. i just heard I can’t live without you. So look out because they are coming around the mountain. Good luck. 😉

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PILE 2 🧿🧿🧿

Hi pile 2. Right off....this person wants to come back to you. But right now is a bad time. This person had a third party in the past and because of it, you cut them off. I don’t get the sense that this was a super long relationship. More of the beginning stages of developing into one. But this person was playing the field still. And you were having none of it. Youve been through enough. So you told them like it was, and if they try to come back again. You’ll tell them....again!! 😂 because you stood your ground, they view you as somebody different. I get that this person is used to getting over on people. But not with you so when you turned them away and cut them off. It forced them to make decision. and now their other options, I’m getting multiple people involved. They are done with them now. They have chosen you, and they are looking to come back. But boy oh boy they do have a ways to get there. This person could be at distance from you. I’m getting across water or state so they may travel to get there to you. but they have got to come correct because you are not playing! I get the sense of your not coming off of your throne-you just won’t do it. This group is no nonsense I mean honestly. 😩 your ready. You know your worth, and you are worthy of something good. You will not settle, nooooo not this time. Because youve already been through this. your heart can’t be played with anymore. This person is sad without you. They thought the other options would be better than you. Like oh “ill just go in my back pocket and choose from these”. But none were like you, so because of that....they feel STUPID. they feel so dumb, so sad that when they do come back. they won’t be able to even get a word in because you won’t hear them out. The “others“ are still coming for your person. Talk to them, be with them. But your person is just like no, I dont Want to be bothered, I want my bae back. But hey.....you may or may not be there when they decide to come. like they call you and if you answer then okay but if not, oh well. 😂 this person regrets what they've done. So dumb, so silly. To think....the other options were going to fulfill them. But they were sadly mistaken. pity boy, pity gal. 🥲 this person had options out the buttttt. They were playa playa from the Himalayas. this Person tried to play you, get over on you. And you found out. And said no not me, you WILL NOT do this to me. And they never had anyone do that to them. pile 2 I’m seeing you already know what it feels like to be not considered in a high regard. and You won’t do it again! Like if they want the others...go BYE! and now this person is feeling like they sabotaged this with you. They were living their ego. Somebody who has multiple options like that needs their ego to be fed. Like if the main person they want doesn’t work out or something happens they have backups. They can just go to someone else. Now this person feels like they aren’t enough for YOU! They now lack confidence, they are the jealous ones. They self-sabotaged. So yeah this person will come back with time, but your address may have changed by that time. *I just want to say I’m very proud of this group. A lot of lessons and growth!* best of luck! 😁

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PILE 3 🌸🌸🌸

alrighty pile 3, welcome! So this read will be more intuitive. Ironically enough, this group pulled three cards. So let’s get into it!.....*moment of silence because the energy is rather intense here*. I heard the song “baby come back” by player. I’m feeling this group has moved on from their person tbh. Like it’s just too little, too late for this person. This was somebody you walked away from. There was A LOTTT of love here. but also secrets and fears in this connection. With this person, your energy is coming up as “how could you do this to me-ME. Not in an egotistical way, but because you trusted and loved this person. And they loved you too. So when they did whatever they did to hurt or betray you, it was like how could you. 😩 I’m feeling like you weren’t even mad about it, more disappointed than anything. So after, you started just doing your own thing. Not really concerned with anything or anyone else. Just working on yourself. A reinvention. I’m seeing healthy eating or changing the color of your hair. Wearing sexy clothes (just for yourself) everything you started to do was about self love. And just when you started to move on or found someone new.....HERE THEY COME. like oh wait for me! i gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t feel like this person really cheated on you. I’m getting that maybe you thought they were doing you wrong but they weren’t. or a really bad agruement took place and something was said or done that was very distasteful and you felt betrayed by it. But I’m not getting strong cheating energy. You really thought it was something and it wasn’t and this person tried to explain and it went from there. (Downhill that is) there is so much sadness here. You really though this was going to work out and it didn’t. There has been some time that has passed here. This person didn’t know how to come back. no idea on what to say or do about the situation. But they daydream about it 24/7. They think about being intimate again and how it was like with you (if y’all were). this person wants to play something romantic. I’m seeing a dinner with candles a few drinks. Trying to take it back to the good times. But it took too long for this person. and now this person sees you with someone new And they can’t help but wonder...what if I would have gotten back in time. What if things would have worked out? This person does want to come back without a doubt! But will they? I’m not too sure, because it looks like you have someone else now. *PLOT TWIST*!!!! Pile 3 let me ask you this, do you love this new person like your old flame? I think NOT. You like this new person and everything, but your heart is with the person you broke up with. The new person is diggin you and likes you a lot. But there’s something thats just not hittin the same anymore. And your old person didn’t forget about you either. *i pulled extra cards for this group because I’m really feeling like this just may come back together. I’m getting that vibe heavy. For the outcome. I don’t see y’all coming back together ASAP because theres a decision that needs to be made and you don’t want to choose .your just kinda there. This connection right here is a divine pair. With the lovers and emperor here. But there’s still work that needs to be done by both parties and a conclusion by you. So you will be separated until then. I’m telling y’all...if you choose this person. Do not be surprised if this person gives you a ring. This person may right music or be into the arts. They may give you a gift that comes from their heart. a song. I heard melody. they could play an instrument or that was something you two had In common. The thought you of keeps this person sane while you aren’t with them. The thought of being with you again keeps them together. Like when they a bad day or something. Because you aren’t there physically, them daydreaming keeps them motivated. Pile 3, intuitively I gotta say it. I know y’all gotta make a decision and everything but this is going to work out. Idk when because time is fluid but it’s going to come back together. I’m telling y’all

now. its Going to take patience but in time it will. This connection is strong, y’all love each other too much. This person loves you. And they want to restore this! Like I said, this new person...your not fooling me! Yeah you like them, but that heart of yours didnt go anywhere. I’m going to say for this pile, your going to have to make the first moves because they feel like your done with them. They feel like there’s nothing they can do or say to get you back. WOW, you all have to let me know how this plays out because it will work out! I almost want to cry. can I get an invite to the wedding with a +1 please!?

[oh-theatre]

Livin’ It Up: Chapter 1

Chapter title: An Abrupt Beginning

A/N: Me ? Hating every single thing I write?? BUT OFC GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT SUCKS AHAHA. Im so frustrated, I couldnt get Logans end rant to work and its stupid and I just hate everything i hate this i hate my writing hnnng. Can you believe i took an ok concept and and FUCKED IT UP

words: 2614

summary: Roman throws yet another party, and his only true hope for the night is someone to show up. Patton finds himself disturbed, and Logan needs to stop drinking. 

pairings: Eventual logicality, eventual prinxiety, eventual demus, eventual Moceit (Which then goes back to Logicality and Demus)

warnings: Swearing, alcohol, underage drinking, drinking, parties, kissing, throw up

Ao3 Link  

“Thank you, for coming to this party with me” Virgil repeats once more, combing through his hair for the fifteenth time. Patton chuckles from his bed, neatly sitting as he flips through his book, writing down notes in his book. “Have I mentioned thank you?” Virgil jokes, Patton nods, biting his lip as he crosses through a difficult section.

“The golgi apparatus provides transportation-”

“Pat! Shouldn't you be getting ready?” Virgil turns to him, the cheerleader stops chewing the end of his pencil, a sweet smile as he shrugs. He closes his books, stacking them neatly on his shelf, everything organized. Once his homework is tucked away into the right folders and his pencils are safely back in his pencil case he moves to the mirror.

“I'm good to go” He says flopping back to his bed, Virgil scoffs. “Virge, these parties aren't anything formal. As long as you've got your phone, clothes and a swimsuit you're good” Patton assures, Virgil nods sitting on the bed, his shoes lacing as he hums. Patton adds his final bow, putting his boots comfortably on. “Ready?” He questions, Virgil sighs patting his jeans.

“I guess”

~~~

“Hey sorry Cindy you mind if i borrow Logan?” Roman taps on the girls shoulder, she sighs pulling away from Logan's mouth. He waves her off grumpily following Roman into the kitchen. “What's that? Third one tonight?” Roman teases, setting up the snacks

“Fourth” He corrects picking his teeth. “Carter, Fiona, Marty and Cindy” He sits on the stool, stirring his drink, the remaining ice clinking delicately.  Roman wants to push but fears a drunken argument before his gathering so allows Logan to pour himself more of whatever murky drink he had been guzzling down. “Mm, why must we have these soirees” Logan mumbles, spinning around.

“Its a party Logan, i've been attending and hosting them for ages!” Roman argues, he sighs finally finishing his set up. “Look just dont make out with too many people, I don't need a million girls crying at me at the end of the night because they thought you were the one”

“They know im gay right?” He sips, adjusting his glasses.

“Do you know youre gay?” Roman retorts, a glare is his gift in return.  “Why do you do it then?” Roman inquires, moving the pair through the already bustling house.

“Its fun” Logan shrugs, Roman pauses snickering as he carries the chips. “Not fun, but its something to do. Mind numbing and does not require actual intellect” Logan slumps on the couch almost instantly finding himself lip to lip with yet another poor and emotional victim. Roman rolls his eyes walking away from the mess. The door continues to open as more people file in, soon the familiar scent of alcohol and booze fill the air and Roman finds himself taking the tiniest sips from his own drink. With every creak of the door, the slightest hope lights up the man.

Come on

Just walk through the door

Please

~~~

“Do I drink, do I get a drink, what do I do? I got this” Virgil rambles, Patton chuckles, shaking his head. Closing the door behind him he guides Virgil into the kitchen, serving him a club soda. He takes it, almost finishing the entire thing, the sweat dripping his anxiousness for miles. “Thanks, ugh why am i here”

“Because I invited you” Roman chimes in, Virgil practically chokes back his drink, being rescued by Patton. “I'm really glad you're here Virge” Roman smirks, Virgil nods through his ever increasing reddened face. His eyes land on Patton, a slight regret but a neutral respect is shared with a nod.

“Ill be by the pool if you need me” Patton whispers, taking his leave, into the rioting house.

“How are you?” Virgil decides, Roman closes the door behind them chuckling as he closes the distance. “That's not an answer” His nerves seem to calm as his ‘radiant’ sarcasm takes place. Somehow his annoyance for Roman returned, his defenses lifted. “Nice house, mind giving me a tour?” He dances out from the ever closing gap Roman entraps him in, a slight scoff of amusement but the teen obliges.

“Well this is the kitchen, an original model and renovated around 5 years ago” Roman demonstrates, Virgil nods finding it actually quite interesting. A serenity falling over him as he takes this moment to breathe. “Over here is the hallway, leading into an assortment of rooms” He explains, Virgil identifies a name plastered on each. “You've got the bathroom, an office and our library still in its original condition from 1875” He hopes to impress the young teen. Knowing Logan, when he was still fresh, found the room the most enchanting thing.

“And where's your room?” Virgil teases, knowing this apartment was enormous in its own right.

“Upstairs” Roman replies, Virgil bites his tongue. Upstairs, god this apartment was huge. “And downstairs we have the pool and some storage. Nobody really uses the pool to be honest. Mostly people seem to hang out in the living room or-”

“The other living room?” Virgil points as they come into yet another opening, flashing lights, loud screeches and many drunken dancers. Roman and him share an amused laugh.

“Care for a dance?” Roman nudges, Virgil scoffs, taking yet another sip of his drink. Finding the teen to be serious he can't help but allow this to fuel his laughter more.

“Me? Dance? Oh that's not the issue...it's dancing with you..” Virgil carries on, Roman rolls his eyes dragging him onto the floor. Slow but upbeat movements take place and...what's this? Is Virgil having...fun?

~~~

The light splashes and ripples of waves as Patton let his feet dangle felt calming. No part of him missed the chaos upstairs, sure freshman year this kind of thing was at least slightly intriguing. But the parties and the drinking grew tiresome and well...annoying. At least now he knew his way around, no one went near the pool, it restricted them.

So, with his bubbling soda by his side, and his book in hand he just sat. It was almost peaceful, the moon found its way through the window, the muffled sounds of music were present and the water felt cool to the touch, reminding him he was there.

“Are you reading?” A slurred voice requests, Patton squints up watching Logan tumble into the space. His feet repeating a crass and heavy movement.

“Are you tap dancing?” Patton hides his giggle. Logan shrugs dropping what seems to be his hundredth red solo cup of the night. Roman makes it a point to never give him glass ones or anything fancier seeing as his tendency to well...destroy grows heavy.

“Trying to” he continues, practically falling over himself, the pool and him soon to become very familiar. “Why are you reading at a party, it's a party or a social gathering and while reading is generally an enjoyable activity it deems itself unsocial and a bore when surrounded by peers and other things to spark your brain” He rambles, Patton forgot how fast the teen could talk. Logan had not been to debate in awhile. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, I would presume this is exactly your type of event” Logan staggers forward a bit more.

“Observant” Patton mumbles, returning his focus to his book, flipping through the pages happily.

“I mean I did happen to notice some of your team was present” Logan continues, Patton nods.

“Yes, I saw you and Brianna grow very close, I think a spring wedding” Patton jokes, Logan furrows his brows clearly scanning his already jumbled brain for the person in question. “Red head, wearing the green sweater and jeans” Patton reminds, Logan snaps a flash of excitement.

“Ah yes! She was fun, well okay, better than most people I suppose.” He sighs, finally finding himself a ground, he breathes. “I want to swim, so with my capable body and sane mind I shall” He deems, Patton looks up catching Logan as he removes his shirt. Now Patton wasn't invisible and he wasn't one to deny that Logan was well...fit. Hearing the splash as Logan falls into the pool he returns to his book. The water makes a plethora of noises, moving around the pool growing close to Patton. “You're intelligent” Logan pops up, Patton's gaze moves to him. He's closer now, fiddling with the water around him.

“Thank you?” Patton wonders, its random but he thinks its a compliment.

“Straight A’s, you skipped your junior year” Logan lists, Patton knows all this but he hums along, no harm in listening. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, student council president and vice president to the drama cabinet” Logan moves closer, Patton finally understands.

“So this is how you do it?” Patton kicks a tiny bit, the water flicks melting back into the pool. “You root out their accomplishments, find yourself impressed and then suddenly head over heels for you” He laughs, Logan hates the weird sense that floods him as the delicate sound sweeps the room.

“Photographic memory” Logan shrugs, leaning back as his hair washes over, drooping with thick water. He advances, curious as Patton continues to neglect him and read his book. “Im not wrong am i?” Patton shrugs, his eyes averting Logans prominent gaze. “Why dont you get in the pool? Why come down to read and sit with your feet in the water when your body could be submerged, are you so bored?” Logan pushes

“Just here for a friend” Pattons short and quick responses bother Logan, something about their manner itches him. He moves closer, finding himself close enough to feel the warmth upon his tingling skin.

“What, may I ask, are you reading?” Logan inquires, peeking over. He attempts to take the book, the world was his to own, why should this book be any different. Patton pulls away and soon the pair commence in a playful game, Patton tugs his book away as Logan fears no boundaries and continues to close the space between them. Grabbing as fast as he can to try and see what might be so much more interesting then Logan himself. Finally it slows and the pair eyes lock, Pattons arms retire and his body relaxes allowing a mutual agreement to both move closer and lock lips with one another.

He couldn't deny that the hype is not valid, he was a good kisser.

But even with Logan's hands meeting his own, and the perfect way this felt…

This wasn't Patton.

He pulls away, resting his hand on Logan's chest. A tender but bittersweet look to a pouting Logan.

“Sorry Moreno, but I'm not going to be one of those girls or boys” He smirks. The shock runs from Logan's face quickly as he pretends to fall hurt back into the pool. Patton stands finding the clock has run its course, and the night comes to a close. Gathering his things, stepping over Logan's mess, with no looking back he makes his way upstairs.

~~~

“Did you atleast have a bit of fun?” Roman hopes, Virgil and him having reconvened in the kitchen.

“When you were not stepping on my feet?” Virgil teases, pouring himself a much needed glass of water. “Yeah I had fun.” He rests, giving a somewhat anxious Roman a reason to breathe. They seemed to keep their proximity to one another, Virgil leans comfortably on the counter.

“Well good…” Roman whispers, not really paying attention as hes much more focused on the small details placed around Virgil's face. The sweet dimple of his sarcastic smirk, the poorly hidden under bags sleeping below his stormy and ebony eyes. The soft yet controlled way he kissed him-

Hold on…

They pull away both utterly confused by how this night had proceeded.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that…” Roman fiddles with Virgil's hand, ignoring the sweat from both.

“Me too” He smiles under his gloom “I think we’re just drunk” Virgil searches for an excuse, he knows the reality. He's been around long enough.

“I'm not drunk, are you?” Romans voice remains soft, Virgil shakes his head. The only drink he had consumed was club soda and water, both becoming aware as they push on his bladder. “I've had a moderate amount of drinks” Roman cant talk apparently, his ability to communicate normally and with his typical charm had clearly left him. Disappointed at his failed attempts.

“I should go” He decides, Patton appearing in the doorway only furthering that choice. Roman pulls away, biting his lip as he nods. “Thanks for inviting me”

“Thanks for coming” He replies, turning to Patton “Both of you” Feeling Virgil slip away, joining Patton. With a timid smile and wave he watches them link arm, rest tired heads and disappear.

~~~

“Are you going to help clean up or sit there and threaten to throw up?” Roman bites, exhausted he organizes and cleans up the remains of his celebration. Logan groans, his head pounding wanting nothing less then to be useless and contain almost zero information.

“He was different, and I don't understand why or how but he was. He was witty and he said no.” Logan begins, Roman yawns knowing what course this was setting him upon. “But I like him and not just I need to win over him but truly like him. I don't like this feeling, but it wasn't a done deal” He speaks, his words making no sense worrying Roman. “I kissed him, kissed him, and I do that. I truly do. I find some brief and fulfilling satisfaction from performing such an action but when he decided against it I felt not..that” Roman nods, processing his vague and ranting words. “Its not that hes cliche and that hes different but it was, he didn't care, this wasnt a game to him or some quick fling or an experimentation it was nothing” He scrambles hard for an explanation, all this thinking hurting his frail state. “I don't know what I feel, I don't understand and I don't enjoy that. I like understanding, I do, I know things, I'm smart, I got it..” This was Romans cue as soon as the self-doubt and irrationality set in, Logan needed to shut down for the evening. “I don't know what I'm talking about, who was it...Patty? Marlene...maybe Connor” he ponders, his trail of thought gone.

“Your fathers coming home tomorrow, we should get you rested and ready for his meeting” Roman reminds, leading a hyper and ranting Logan to his room. He moans as he falls to the bed.

“I loathe the idea of my father returning, I wish not to see him or meet with him. Its the same thing as always, and I don't mind, I've accepted my path but why must I be continued to be reminded of my lack of freedom and set future. I don't care, I have no qualms but to have to constantly be pushed further sparks a rebellious thought in me and I wish-

“I will smother you with my pillow Logan” Roman interjects “Go to sleep, you'll be back to your normal, cold, and uncaring self in the morning” Logan rolls over, clutching to the pillow beside him “Nothing will matter and you'll have become familiar with at least three new people by noon” Roman decides

“Mm...I very much hope you are correct in your predicament” And with his final words Logan falls into a deep sleep. Roman after much cleaning, passes out in his own manner, sprawled on his bed, hating the night and the way it went.

[cullxtheherd]

Long(-ish) time listener, first-time caller here - just wanted to say that I really love your take on Jacob, and that your taste in music is A+! Also, I come offering a few songs that I think have big Jacob vibes - "Unsainted" by Slipknot, "The Heresy" by Mushroomhead, and "Feed the Machine" by Nickelback (just trust me).

hglkghjl oh my god hi!!! how are you?? first of all thank you what the heck skjhdndkf you are absolutely too nice sjdhsdjskdf but i am glad you enjoy my stupid shit™

and i am gonna dive into these songs rn.

yes but i would like to counter with this slipknot tune [x] and also this one cause i kinda forgot about them and now im scREam? [x] GLLHKGLLHBKGLHKGLKL

holy shit yeah i love mushroomhead but it's been yEARS since i properly listened to them- like?? since you had to buy the dvd to see the music videos cauce mf TV would not play them skjdskjsk i did not even know they had new content out?? tbh ksjfkdfjdkj?? but alsoo [x] and [x] anddd its taking me aGES to answer this cause im on a trip through songs of my younger years and like THANK you!!!! i am having so much fun skjfdkdjf

oh. my god okay. it's. it is. it. has taken everything in me to type nickelback into my youtube search bar. i'm really over here like:

hgkhlgkhlghll okay but i AM listening here i go pray for me...

okay. here's the thing. if chad fucking kroeger wasn't singing this i would really like this- the guitar solo is a little extra, but i've also listened to dragonforce and completed that shit on guitar hero0 jAYSUS CHRiST- anyways! i?????????????????? am going to have a lil quick jacob inspired music romp, join me if you like!

5 bands/artists, 5 songs below the cut!! but, FIRST!!

a warning: these first three groups will be triggering and offensive in many/multiple ways! please be prepared!!

𝙺𝙾Я𝙽:

Never Never: [x] - this is particularly nice™ if you follow my he was married timeline;

Shoots And Ladders: [x] - this pertains to childhood sexual abuse i haven't even had the stomach to write about yet for the Seed boys and it's not part of my timeline currently, but. it is definitely part of my headcanons and there is not enough brain bleach for me to ever live the same ever again 🙃

All In The Family [x] - i do not think this needs any explanation but i ammmm hahahahhahahahhksjud imagining john and jake hghg;glghlhglhgljhgl

It's On! [x] - i really forgot how much i miss early 00s/late 90s rock aaand wow so much of it it very The Seeds™

Coming Undone [x] - wow how hot was jon davis kdjskjdks i mean he still is but hewlp senmdddd shheelpppshdaslkf

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒:

The Becoming [x] - yeah 😢 it really do be like that. if you've never heard this before it can be a little... jarring, unsettling and/or painful to listen to, especially if you aren't in a good or positive headspace. there are a lot of sudden and loud mechanical/industrial type of noises as well a running background track of people screaming out in pain so... enjoy. that.... i actually?? really love this song and the entire album. it describes the fight with mental illness well in my opinion.

Mr Self Destruct [x] - it's perfect. would also very much work for Joseph but i do think this is just verrrryyy, sickeningly Jacob

I Do Not Want This [x] - this is another that is just not good if you aren't in the headspace for it

Big Man With A Gun [x] - this is just. explicit. and rude. and accurate. you're welcome.

Eraser [x] - don't listen to this if you're feeling low or not well mentally. definitely a deputy ship song.

bonus cause i can't follow rules even of my OWN making and i could go on for an embarassingly LONG time about NIN in relation to any one of my muses and sjkdnksdfns here you go:

The Perfect Drug [x] - this is a great song for any seed/deputy ship tbh but kdjkfdjfsnkfndhbf this a whole ass mf ass jacob seed ass mood and i am yelling out loud and my dogs are barking and all my cats ran awAY AaaaAaa

𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎 𝑶𝒇 𝑨 𝑫𝒐𝒘𝒏:

Violent Pornography [x] - this song makes me laugh out loud to be honest?? i am not? a sane individual

Cigaro [x] - LMAOOAHAHHAHAHSJABSDKAS UBISOFT SHOULD HAVE HIRED ME FOR THE WHITETAILS RADIO SOUNDTRACK BYEE HHHAJKDnsaf

Suite-Pee [x] - sorry but this is apparently just funny meme time now im hahjdgsfkjddgf

War? [x] - accurate meme hour continues

I-E-A-I-A-I-O [x] - glhfmlkfgmlkdfg i'mm ghlghklgkhl the absolute mutterings of a ginger madman trapped between two mountains

𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓗𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓷:

The Ghost On The Shore [x] - fricken love this song and this group

Drops In The Lake [x] - pooor ol widower. i've been toying with a universe where his wife is still clinging to life, mostly burnt and nearly dead in that old veteran's center and hahahaha this doesn't hurt at all 🥴

Long Lost [x] - this is fine. not imagining my otp. nope.

The World Ender [x] - 🤠🗡

Yawning Grave [x] - this is also a lucifer jam as fuck

𝕰𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖔𝖙 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘:

Silver + Gold [x] - super good ship song for character arcs; dep ship or not

Closedloop [x] - 𝒊𝒕'𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 . . .

I Heard [x] - what a fuckin jam. also wow how cute is elliot?? ? wow

99 [x] - i dont have anything to say its just so accurate and so good

Without The Lights [x] - this is a very accurate interpretation of a physically and sexually abusive relationship through dance, please use caution! but this is going to be accurate for any canon type relationship with jacob or maybe even all of the seeds. personally i refuse to write any strictly non-consensual material, but i am fully aware this is more than likely something that happens. having been in similar relationships in the past this video goes on repeat a lot and i can't even begin to say how beautiful it is- i cry every single time.

"𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓰𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓼 . . ."

hoLY COW if you made it this far you deserve something dont u... hmnnn. i'm sure i have something somewhere on a hard drive

that should do sjdkjfkd ok i love youu thank you for sending me this ask akjnsfdskf i hope u are having a great day!! bye!!

[dmpinapl]

Final Session Chat Log

(These are the chat logs between and my good friend OJ while I played my last session with my D&D group. It was wild...)

I have to dnd in 5 minutes im going to message you updates the entire time to keep me sane

i look forward to your updates

update, we found 50 ft. tall doors made of magic metal failed to get through found stairs instead

Did u knock?

shit no

but they're doors to the evil fire giant base so maybe knocking is bad idea

Well maybe they're polite Even evil people open doors if u knock

that's true but we've already been climbing stairs for 30 minutes in game we found a goat guarding a pile of gold and treasure

Is the goat ok?

it has red wings oh shit there's 2 oh shit they're chimeras

:O Don't kill, befriend

ill try

Good

it has goat head, lion head, and dragon head dwarf is gonna try to tame it

That is the standard chimera look I'm p sure Good pet

killed one, tamed the other one "tamed" means tied it up in chains after grappling it for 5 minutes

Twas it NAMED tho?

yes Tribeast Dwarf is VERY creative

Aw that's not fun

agreed I offered Terthreesa i was rejected

Shoulda named it like Tribert

rejected again oof and now we're dragging it along with the chain

D:< no fun

I got mad loot

What chu get

obsideon dagger, 6 gems, music box, and gold helmet with gems inlaid very valuable, will sell for much money

Cool more funds to fuel eggs chaos (Note: I’m Eggs)

tru We made it to the top. 

Of the stairs?

Ye

I gave dwarf the box

(Note: Recently collected a possessed box that has a chance to swap souls with you when you open it)

Did he open 👀

he opened it 0,0 his soul swapped no one knows 0,0 i ran 100 ft. away when he picked it up hiding atm

Haaaaa Let me know how that goes

I told them that box can swap souls, and to ask anyone who opens it questions only they would know the answer to fake dwarf failed question, they are now all suspicious

We found Yakfolk half Yak people they cool nevermind they have halfling slaves...

Eat the yaks

erm

BBQ

ummm naaaah Wizard is controlling fake dwarf with a spell, making him open box until we get the soul swapping roll but he swapped inventory with chimera so he got all chained up and chimera is attacking us now

ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*) haha wonderful

bow and arrow man that Eggs hates, shot the chimera dead >:(

What a bitch

Wizard tried to throw box off a cliff when we got dwarf back im trying to catch it wizard blasted box with fireball, it's charred but fine ARCHER GUY BANISHED WIZARD

WHAT HOW?

HE HAS SPECIAL BANISHING ARROW WIZARD IS GONE FOR AT LEAST 1 TURN HOLY SHIT WHY

D:

I mean Eggs is happy cause he wants the box but I and everyone else are like wtf? Archer Man? Why?

Well at least eggs is happy

tru Got box back Wizard is back asked Archer Man wtf Archer Man and Wizard are arguing in and out of character at the same time xD

What fun

Okay, dwarf asked for the box so I gave it to him because he can kill me very easily so Eggs fears him He glued the box shut with magic indestructible glue and threw it off the cliff

Understandable

the yakfolk are beating their slaves we are intervening

Good

I blighted and burned a yakfolk he hella dead he killed a halfling tho tried rolling medicine got a 1 ...

.......you cooked him I predicted BBQ

you did it but i blighted him first so he's already like, rotting

Ya still cooked him Its me oj psychic detective

I never should've doubted you

Ya u should really listen to me

Oh there are like 8 more of them coming from across the bridge wizard is gonna blast the bridge

Yaks?

ye I destroyed bridge wizard cast a spell that made almost all the yakfolk sick

What typa sick?

damage sick also im in a bloodrage now i wanna stab (Note: Eggs has a cursed dagger that causes him to enter a bloodrage when he takes damage)

Who ya gonna stab

yakfolk

Not Archer Man?

not close enough

Dang

agreed rockman slammed me to death now i must make death saves might die but i got a good stab in

You stabbed a.....rockman?

i stabbed a yakman, then the rockman came behind and slammed it’s always rocks

You got stoned to death

again

Like the witch u are

dwarf friend picked up my body he's so nice still dying but safe now

Good small friend

i have been revived I turned into a trex so i can fuck shit up nevermind we won

hey uh oh Eggs was fighting in the big final battle king is there with me as i shoot magic at the giants then then... i took damage and my magic dagger took over and now i have to stab the king

and i failed twice lucky but then ... i knocked him unconcious and stabbed him half his health is gone ... im gonna kill the fucking king ... :D

O dang eggs is gonna win

what can i say i wanna stab

U sure do

Congrats We beat the big bad evil guy

:0 wow so convenient

Eggs had his dagger taken away but that’s fair to be honest

Probably best for the world if he doesn't have it

 And for the past few sessions I have been made to roll a lot of constitution saving throws, so I asked why Apparently I caught a plague I was gonna be patient 0 p much

O wow How?

Yeah Um

Was it all the weird shit u do

No actually Um

Go on....

Remember that weird door I went into? With the blood writing shack?

Mhmm

Apparently That was another universe

..... well then

Where everyone died to the Plague So

So does eggs still have the plague?

Yes Presumably I will be the cause of so much death

Is he gonna ruin the world even tho the campaign is done?? How suiting

Guess so! : D All’s well that ends well for eggs

Is it tho He's gonna die of the plague

Yes I’m sure I’ll be fine Just a little plague Never hurt no one

That's sad you'd think eggs would get killed by one of the other numerous dumb things you do but no just a disease

No I’ll probably get killed by a rock monster before I succumb to the plague

Squished whilst a spider

Yes

[asapncah]

EEP HERE WE GO AGAIN. i feel like my intros just get longer and longer each time.. sorry not soRRY cause noah is a queen that deserves the Novel. so that’s what y’all are getting so brace yourselves for this wild ride. i’m so very excited for this reboot, y’all have no idea. OH and for anyone new here: my name is lenny, moreau is my child that i cherish more than the hair on my head, i am 21, live in the mst timezone, and use she/her pronouns ! i’m also ur friendly canadian so i’m here for any of ur canadian-related q’s!!! i know we’re a special breed lasdkjlh OK enough about me, onto the queen. y’all know the drill, like this / hmu to plot if u survive reading my Long Ass Intro.

( ariana grande • twenty three • cisfemale ) look, it's noella de luca from apartment 4B! apparently she moved into moreau apartments one and a half years ago and rumour has it, they can be quite possessive— good thing they’re also adventurous, hey? i hear they’re the hedonist of the building. 

↘︎ 𝒷𝒶𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓈 !

given name: noella sofie de luca

nickname: noah

age: twenty3

birthdate: march 18, 1995

hometown: keremeos, british columbia

occupation: waitress & dog walker

↘︎ 𝒽𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎 !

born to high school sweethearts, willa and antonio, who were very much in love until they just … weren’t

the separation of her parents came as a surprise to young noah but not much sleep was lost over the divorce as her parents remained civil and held no ill will towards each other — they even remained business partners

montagna park. a cozy, scenic campground just a few kilometres away from keremeos, nestled deep in the outskirts of the rocky mountains and home to the majority of noah’s most prized childhood memories

following the divorce, antonio moved permanently onto the campground as a year-round manager while willa remained in keremeos to handle the financial end of the business and raise their daughter, who spent nearly every other weekend in the mountains with her father mastering the wilderness

(tw: mention of adhd & prescription drugs & anxiety) she was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 10 after her teachers noticed her heightened hyperactivity and noah began taking a pill each day at lunch time to help her cope with her symptoms

this new routine brought stares and snickers from her fellow classmates and noah developed a harsh social anxiety with the pressures to act “normal” around her peers, but this only made her adhd worse – it’s a vicious cycle (end tw)

come graduation (which she just slipped by) she yearned to escape the confines of her small town. it was an itch that no amount of trips to the mountains could scratch so she set her sights on something bigger: europe

with the help of her parents, noah saved up for the trip of a lifetime, which she embarked on shortly before her 21st birthday and didn’t return from for several months. though she ventured across the european countryside, much of her trip was spent in italy as she reconnected with her roots and fell in love with the country, particularly florence and pisa. she paid her dues working in a small italian cafe in florence owned by an adorable old woman that reminded her of her own grandmother and made italy her home for many weeks, only returning home due to missing her parents and a dwindling bank account

while in europe, noah developed a love for journals. after finding a beautiful leather bound one in her first week of her trip, it became glued to her side and the obsession didn’t stop once she filled it up (which didn’t take long, mind you)

by the end of her trip, noah had filled up eight journals with tales of her adventures, short poems inspired by the european beauty, and songs that seemed to burst out of her like lightning.

↘︎ 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 !

vancouver became her home shortly after her 22nd birthday, a handful of months after she returned from europe. after experiencing the foreign continent’s beauty, keremeos felt small and stifling to her. the small town held no feeling of intrigue or adventure anymore so she made the big move to vancouver in the hopes of finding something more

the big city held a sort of vibrance for her, having visited a handful of times with her mother for big shopping trips and weekend getaways, and somehow the small town girl melted into the big city easily

moreau apartments caught her eye immediately when searching listings, its beautiful brick walls and ocean views promising her comfort and just enough exposure to nature to keep her sane in the concrete landscape, and she moved in immediately

due to her absolute inability to sit still and be bored, noah works 3 jobs in vancouver: waitress, dog walker, and pole dance instructor

waitress: she serves in an adorable, cozy local restaurant down granville street, close by the apartment building, mostly working morning or late night shifts

dog walker: to fuel her love for animals, noah’s gained a reputation in the neighbourhood as one of the most reliable dog walkers. you can often catch her with a small herd of hounds at any time of day, handling the tangling leashes like a pro

pole dance instructor: she found this studio shortly after her move to vancouver, wanting a physical and creative outlet for herself. she fell in love with pole dancing after going outside of her comfort zone and mastered the skill quickly, promptly bringing the owner to offer her a part time job instructing a beginner’s class on the weekends

she continues to keep journals, using the near-daily activity as a sort of meditation after a long day to ease her ever-racing mind. her collection of songs has grown considerably through her life experiences and her instagram is filled with short snippets of the lyrics in captions and videos of her strong voice that just seems to come naturally

↘︎ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇 !

aesthetics: freshly picked peaches. crisp mountain air. old denim ripped and stained from wild adventures. perfectly painted nails. thriving house plants. the scent of fresh coffee and sweet lotion. journals inked with stories and rhymes. rose gold jewelry. caramel waves blowing in the wind as sneakers trample fallen leaves. hazy rooms and endless laughter. a strong voice singing about heartbreak.

notable traits: passionate, possessive, adventurous, charming, optimistic, honest, naive, self-indulgent

best described as a freshly blossomed rose, grown in the canadian wilderness and weathered by the elements, with blushing petals beautiful enough to draw you in and thorns sharp enough to protect herself.

willa and antonio raised their daughter to have a strong head on her shoulders. their independence, wild hearts, and honesty passed down to noah easily. she’s certainly her father’s daughter in terms of her curiosity, need for adventure, and determination, but her mother shines through noah’s feminist independence, brutal honesty, and passion for creativity.

in terms of how noah’s young experiences changed her constant state of wonderment as a child, she’s definitely grown tougher and carries herself with an obvious sense of responsibility to protect herself. she likes to believe the walls she’s built since those stares and snickers in school aren’t easily broken, but she falls prey to charming smiles, trusting words, and careful eyes — it’s something she’s constantly working on, always chastising herself whenever she falls too easily

at first sight, she’s a small girl with a big mouth. her personality purposefully magnified to hide the fact that she’s afraid of getting attached. her sailor’s mouth is a surprise to most, along with her openness with her sexuality (bi af) and honesty when it comes to just about anything she has a strong opinion on (feminism, equal rights, lgbtq+ issues, animal cruelty, etC)

but for better or for worse, noah generally prides herself for having hardly a care in the world. many of her days just go with the flow and she’s not worried about her future — the future is today, as she likes to say to convince her friends to join her on one of her many adventures

one of the greatest friends one could ask for because of her strong loyalty, charming smile, generosity, and taste for adventure (it also helps that, thanks to her green thumb, this one grows the best weed in moreau ajklsh). she distracts others from developing too much curiosity about her own story by being an incredibly good listener and shoulder to cry on

to elaborate on her disorder: noah still has a prescription to aid her symptoms (most commonly fast and rambling words, an inability to shit still — showcased by tapping her feet, twirling her hair, fiddling with anything near her, etc — and a short attention span that is often interrupted by interludes of hyperfocus) but often pushes aside her pills because of her stubbornness. relying on a pill isn’t her favourite thing in the world and she likes to tell herself she can get by without them but lbr, the bitch can’t kjlhsd at least not for too long. though she keeps her problems as best a secret as possible, i’m sure someonE’S noticed her slip ups

↘︎ 𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 !

this was a rollar coaster and a half. i know. i’m sorry. akjlshd please love me

tl;dr: small town girl from the mountains, raised by two loving separate parents, hardened by teasing and stares because of her adhd, but found her freedom and passion for life in europe before moving to vancouver to keep that spark alive. works 3 jobs to keep herself busy and because she just can’t make her mind on what she wants to do (waitress, dog walker, pole dancing instructor). 

first things that come to mind when thinking of noah: peaches, house plants (wink wink), fluffy dogs and purring cats, leather bound journals, and a lust for adventure.

as for connections, i want them aLL but i listed a few right here for y’all to check out. if any of those catch your eye / you’re down to brainstorm, hmu through tumblr ims / discord or like this and i’ll come to you!!!

[humans-are-seriously-weird]

The Time I Almost Decapitated Someone While Trying To Surf

Brace for a whole lot of pain and stupidity. It starts off a little slow but stick around for the AHHHHHHH As some of you may know, i am an intense klutz. As in I-Will-Trip-Over-Absolutely-Nothing-And-Probs-Knock-Over-The-Crown-Jewels kind of klutz. A Would-Trip-And-Fall-Off-A-Cliff kind of klutz I really need to drive this point home ok this is v important to this story So this is back in Peru (yes the same trip the chicken chased me off a cliff). Work is over for the day, the sun is starting to set, and all 40 of us Canadians are headed to the beach for our very first surf lessons So we show up and our instructors hurl wetsuits at us. I do mean hurl like mine wrapped around my face like a squid i nearly died before i even hit the water smh We get separated into groups of five and head off with our instructors. All the other groups had these young Peruvian guys and girls, all smiles and gentle teachers My instructor was a cranky 80 year old who never spoke and stared at us until we figured out what we were supposed to do Before we even get to go near the beach we start learning the technique on land. We lay down on these fake boards and pretend paddle and pretend stand, all in complete silence because who needs words right Im at the point of assuming our instructor doesnt speak english, which is totes cool cause we’re getting the message anyways. We’d spent three days working around the language barrier, now was no different. Moving on Our instructor finally deems us worthy of hitting the water so we all gleefully make our way to the beach. We were all sunshine and laughter, expecting the warm sand between our toes Not happening The beach is not soft like we had thought. It was rocks. Thousands of rocks and pebbles that sent us skittering as we descended the steep incline to the water First off: No one told me how freaking exhausting this crap is All those movies of people surfing like haha look at me this is so easy and majestic be one with the waves dude were straight up liars ok i was panting and heaving like a 90 year old race horse by the time i made it out far enough to catch a wave Cue twenty frustrating minutes of trying and failing to paddle fast enough to stay on a wave I thought i looked like Dash Incredible, majesticly spearing across the water from a horde of bad guys, my arms windmilling at break neck speeds Yeah no I was more of a drowning sloth if im completely honest Id make it maybe two feet by the time one wave passed and the next was already approaching Here’s where my surfing attempt took an unexpected turn Water splashed behind me and i didnt bother turning around. Probably one of my classmates heading for a better wave area “Need some help?” The voice was definitely not my classmates My instructor sat casually on his board behind me I was so shocked to hear him speak that i just nodded dumbly, not aware of what i was agreeing to. He hops off his board and bobs in the water for a second. He casually puts on hand on the back of my board like he was keeping me from floating away Behind him a wave approaches. I lay back down and get ready to paddle. I figured maybe he’ll tell me when to start paddling so i can actually catch this one but the wave is getting closer and closer and there was still no word from him.  I was long past when I started paddling before I hear this soft intake of breath and then, “BRACE!!!” I obey blindly and grip my board in terror wondering if there was a shark lurking beneath me Instead my 80 year old instructor absolutely freaking catapults me forwards i swear that man could launch Niel Armstrong into orbit single handedly NASA who??

Im rocketing along along, too stunned to move Im on a wave!! Im on a… wave????? I scramble to my feet thinking somebody better be seeing this cuz i will not be doing this again By some miracle i manage to stand ok i do not have great balance on land so sticking me on a board in the middle of the ocean was in no ones best interest So im whizzing along feeling like im flying and just generally trying not to face plant on my board or topple into the sea ok i just got up here no way i can manage it a second time Something about the water ahead of me doesnt look right The sun is glaring off the water just enough to block whatever that thing is. Im squinting, praying im not about to hit a rock It was so much worse It was a man He was casually chillin on his board, a set of headphones in his ears, looking to the world like he was asleep Im heading straight for this guy at top speed and as i get closer i realize two very important things I dont know how to stop … … Or turn I think of the wicked looking fins on the bottom of my board I remember mildly thinking this is gonna hurt before reality truly set in I very well might kill this man if i dont figure something out fast I start screaming and flailing with as much strength as i can muster “MOVE MOVE!!!! UNLESS YOU WANNA BE FILLET LIKE A FISH YOU GOT MOVE I CANT STOOOOOP” He casually lifts out one ear bud and looks at me with a barely audible “que?” “YOU GON DIE MOVE!!!!” Clearly he didn’t understand english, but flailing and screaming is pretty universal He leisurely lays back and paddles forewards, moving him ever so slightly out of the danger zone My board hits his as i pass so close i could have flicked his nose My board launches off his and by some miracle i manage to not only stay on it, but stay standing I twist and stare back at the man I definitely did not kill as he casually lays back down on his board Good. That would have been troublesome to explain to immigration officers on my way home I face the beach again and prepare to enjoy my calm landing and– I am less than five feet from shore going full speed SHIT I do what any sane person would do I jump ship

That was the biggest mistake of my life 

See just as i jumped for dear life the wave hit its crest and i landed right in the middle of it 

Suddenly i was a soggy pair of Canadian socks in the worlds worst dryer 

On a very important side note, i am attached to the board by a long thin cable that is velcroed around my ankle, meant to keep the board from drifting and keep me safe 

That cord is the bane of my existence 

In my Horror Dryer Extreme experience the cord had managed to wrap from my ankle all the way up to my thigh, digging cruelly into my skin even through the wet suit 

I slam into shore like a beached whale 

Remember kids: shore is not my friend shore is OW 

I slam into the rocks and lay there dazed for a moment, gasping for air. No way im going back out there ill just let the water wash over me im done surfing im done with the ocean 

But the ocean wasnt done with me 

Suddenly im getting dragged by the leg down the beach. I sit up, ignoring the stones slowly filling my pants. 

My board had gotten stuck in the out take and was dragging me out to sea once again 

I go through another round of Angry Dryer Mama Ocean and get slammed mercilessly back into shore, this time hitting my face so hard i split the skin above my eye. I still have a scar hidden above my eyebrow from this 

At this point i am done 

I try to stand and grab my board but the cord was still wrapped around my leg 

Our teams guide who just so happened to be a surfer comes running over to see if im ok. “hey! Get up! Another wave is coming!” 

I try to shout back “i cant, im stuck!” But that’s not what comes out of my dizzy mouth 

Instead i lift my leg in the air like a dog and scream “I cant! It’s winding!” 

My guide took this as “I cant! Im drowning!” 

He runs over looking like a stern third grade teacher “you’re fine just get up!” 

“You think im not trying??” 

Another wave slams into me from behind and im washed out and washed back in. Lil me cant catch a break 

Somewhere in the time id been brutally slammed back to shore my guide vanished. Fine then

 I quickly unwrap my leg and scramble to my feet 

Screw this, screw the board, im leaving!! 

I start sprinting for my life up the hill to safety 

SPLAT 

My leg is yanked out from beneath me and i face plant hard 

I didnt take off the velcro strap 

Washed out 

And washed back in 

I rip the velcro from my ankle the second i hit shore 

My guide appears out of nowhere and grabs my board and starts shouting at me to run 

I ask no questions as I scramble up the side 

Now, my guide, carrying two 50lbs surf boards makes it to the top of the hill just fine 

Not me 

A wave sucker punches me and drags me out again 

Washed out. Washed in. 

At this point im just accepting my fate to be forever bound by the sea im like the opposite of a selkie except the sea has my foot and i cant stay on the freaking land free me from my curse 

Eventually i make it up to the top and collapse like sweet releif i am free of this hell 

My guide sets my board down and looks at me. “Rekina. Stay here, the others are having a hard time too. Dont do anything stupid” trust me pal im going no where this is my home now tell my mother i love her 

(Honestly Never tell me not to do something stupid. It’s a sure fire way to make sure i do the absolute dumbest thing possible) 

I shoot him a weak thumbs up as he takes off down the beach, cackling at the poor idiot Canadians floundering in the surf. 

Youd think my Adventure was over 

Not a chance pal 

I sit up and notice one of my classmates in the same predicament i was in 

There wasnt even another option for my next choice 

I stagger back down the hill and help him up. I grab his board and all but shove him back up the hill and somehow we both made it up safe and sound 

Until we see our teacher not moving on the beach below us, her body getting battered and tossed around by the waves 

Our guide is nearly a kilometer away down the beach, too far for us to call for help 

I look at my classmate and he’s shaking his head like i am not going down there again are you crazy

I pop to my feet and race down the hill i am not letting my teacher die on my watch ok im not that kind of person fight me 

My classmate groans and follows behind 

I grab the teacher who was thankfully just stunned and unhurt and help her to her feet. My classmate grabs her board and they both start staggering up the incline far too slowly. I stay behind them to make sure they dont fall and hit the surf again. Happily they made it up just fine 

Not my ass 

Im slammed face first into the ground courtesy of a massive wave that just loves me too much 

The ocean gave me a friendly love tap as it dragged me down the hill and slammed me against it one more time for good measure 

I finally make it back to the top and swear to never surf again in my life (but let’s be real even near drowning cant stop me from trying again)

All in all a pretty successful first attempt

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #2- “My dumb ass tribe apparently doesn’t know how to play chess”- Tawni

I want to go and do some chatting today if I can, get people feel more comfy. I have to be consistent because when you're consistent peoppe are going to want to have you around longer. So I am gonna work on the whole tribe if I can!!

I am so conflicted right now. Rizo has potential to be one of my closest allies and that makes me kind of concerned for this. The twist has me needing him gone to get the idol and Im not concerned with it, but like realistically I feel like I have one of the easier lists...I cant decide if I should trll him to assure I never want the idol or keep it a secret. I could claim Ill never target him but really it would make me paranoid that my ally has me as an option on the table. Gosh Im in a pickle

I think an alliance may be brewing! I was approached by Chris and Gwen talking about a group of five of us, but nothing is concrete yet. I hope it's true though, the five consists of myself, Gwen, Chris, Sara and AnnMarie, which are the people I personally find the most interesting so they're definitely the people I wanna see stick around. Kyle's fun too, but we've only spoken a couple times and as soon as I thought our conversation was going somewhere he left me on read, so... ya..

so, i'm a mess and forgot to do this for round one,, sorry!! but, it was actually kind of an interesting round. upon meeting my tribe, i was mainly just trying to get to know everyone and at least introduce myself, which was honestly kind of overwhelming especially never having met these people LOL. but all in all, i think it went well. i at least made a bit of conversation with everyone on my tribe which was super good i think. i think the first talk of strategy came from zach, who wanted to make an alliance with like everyone but cheatham, dylan, and will which was kind of messy. i made the mistake of mentioning cheatham's name as the vote in that chat before i realized that no one else in there was loyal to that alliance LOL and actually wanted to vote zach out for being messy. as far as i know, cheatham doesn't know that i said that so hopefully he never gets around to hearing it??? but anyways, after that mess, i was added to another alliance called the sane ones, with noah, tawni, cheatham, and dylan. i actually really love this alliance and im super thankful to be a part of it. we all discussed voting zach and sure enough that's what happened. so last round was pretty straightforward with a unanimous vote against zach. however, in my new alliance, i have been informed of austin making an alliance with the same people in my alliance minus me LOL. so now i have to watch out for austin who is probably coming after me since he isn't including me in my alliance. but i feel pretty decent right now, i really do feel like that alliance has my back and im working on building individual relationships as well. i feel closest with tawni i think since we are currently bonding over our distrust of noah since he's kind of fawning over the fact that we are women?? like what?? LOOL please i don't want to deal with straight men this game honestly. but anyways yeah i'm kind of hoping we don't have to do tribal again so soon because it was pretty stressful, especially now that i know some people aren't including me in things.

Going into the first immunity challenge, I was confident that my tribe could pull thru because for the most part we were all very active. In the time of the challenge I have made great connections with everyone in the tribe and I feel like I have info coming from everyone. I was able to make Gwen Sara Chris Kyle and Annmarie all feel like I was there number 1 and truly idk who is my number 1. I do enjoy Gwen Chris and Sara. As of now they are my final 4 and we have our alliance the Corgis. I am ready to lose and go to tribal and see if these guys are loyal. In terms of target I don’t really have anyone because everyone seems great. Steven has been the least active so as of now I would say him. But the twist is interesting because I want the idol but I do not want to target any of the people on my list so I will play it by ear. But expect some fun and aggressive gameplay.

A lot, I'll make another one later but it's always good to form an alliance you know.

I need to stop showing more of my personality to these people because if I show my self fully it’ll give people a sense of what I am like so for now on I will tone down how I talk to people. Also if we lose I’ll make sure Vincent will be going home.

Austin told me there are 2 trios, and I'm not in either of them :(. Apparently Noah, Will, and Cheatham have a sort of pregame, and then Amy, Dylan, and Tawni have all aligned as well. If I'm going to be honest, I may have made a bit of a hasty decision when I said I wanted to side with ADT over NWC. I wanted to vote Will out for a while, and hopefully I'll get my chance to soon. But winning the challenge would also be a favourable outcome!

Ok so chess. That entire situation was stupid. First off. My dumb ass tribe apparently doesn’t know how to play chess. So the resident stoner had to volunteer aka ME! So at the challenge we, Tim and I, get propositioned with potentially getting an individual advantage by forfeiting while in the lead. Well not even caring about an advantage going into the challenge to begin with I was fine with losing. I would have been fine waking out completely empty handed. But tim being the angel, hoping he doesn’t make me regret calling him that, he is let me at least get the individual reward. But I’m not sure how knowing will has me on his list will help me. Considering he is on mine as well he was already a target for me. It kinda helps knowing I dont have to go after someone who isn’t on my list but I’m not sure how I can actually use this advantage ATM

Noah is still on my side apparently because he leaked Will's plan to vote me. Of course, a part of me is still worried that this is a 4D Chess play which still ends with me dying, but until that my vote will be for Will (most likely).

I HATE LOSING! we need a win but....im doing loyalties for this vote so i can build trust and have numbers on my side

Before the challenge my mind was set on Vincent going home and now it is Amy. So I was able to tell Vincent and Austin to vote her ass out and I told Noah to ask Dylan to vote her out as well and to also I got Noah to tell Dylan if Dylan can be a decoy vote for Amy so we don’t have to worry about who’s she voted for when she’s being given a decoy and the girl doesn’t even know, I’m kinda setting up Noah to look like a stronger player in Dylan’s eyes, I just hope I perceive to be a weak player as in strategic wise to the others. The Queen Stays Queen Adios Amy xx

Man petrel is on a roll. 3 straight challenges and I must say I am impressed. I am happy my team is successful but I’m kind of disappointed I wanted to go to tribal. I wanted to get this game going and see if I could make some moves. I’m confident in my Corgis alliance the the side relationship I have build with Kyle and Annemarie that I think I have a good grasp for the game. I wish we lost and I would have probably waited to see what everyone wanted to do. I’m expecting Steven to be the number 1 target in my estimation. I would like to target maybe Tim because he is a strong player and was on of my targets so I would love the chance to go into the immunity pool for that idol. But I have to be patient and passive I just really want to see where everyone loyalty lie. Should be very interesting

I don't want to lose because I actually like everyone on this tribe. But...we're all literally just sitting here singing Kumbaya around the campfire. The REAL test is going to come once the game turns dog eat dog. After this tribal, Thrush likely will be at least somewhat divided and know that those in the minority might be more likely to cross tribal lines in the instance of a swap. Petrel is loose and unpredictable! So....I'm not asking for tribal....but I'm sorta asking for tribal! It would tell a lot!

Well! I was surprised how organized we were as a group in the challenge! I definitely feel we make a great team and honestly I think for me once I feel like I am under pressure I act out and I am happy I was able to contribute

Hello! So I am waiting in the standby line at Radiator Springs right now so...45 minute wait yay! It’s a good thing we won the challenge yesterday so I can enjoy Disneyland without having to worry about tribal. What’s really interesting to me is that I see myself trying to implement David Bloomberg’s rules without even realizing it. I’m scheming and plotting, albeit trying to keep a lot of it under the radar - to at least make it appear like I’m not scheming and plotting too much. So for example, for rule clarifications for the immunity twist, I am getting those answers in my host chat rather than the tribe chat. I don’t want them to know that I am actually thinking about these things strategically. Last thing I want to do is be michaela-ed out of this game and be undateable!!! I would like for me or one of my alliance mates (preferably Chris or Rizo) to get the idol if we end up having to go to tribal council and vote people out. It isn’t so much that I want to have the immunity, but I want to know where it is. In this game, knowledge is power. Knowing who has the immunity idol is important. Ideally it’s on our side, but if we keep winning, it might not be. If the other tribe does get it, we will have to keep the majority OG Petrel and split votes. That would probably be our smartest option, assuming everyone is willing to stay Petrel-strong. That’s my plan for now. But don’t doubt that I will flip if I think it will benefit me in the game. Another thing that I did this round was discussing a little strategy with Chris, as he is my #1. I wanted to get a feel for where his head was at in case we went to tribal council. (We had this discussion on voice chat during the immunity challenge). My thinking is that I want to try to get some cards out on the table pre-losing a challenge just to not make it look like I’m just strategizing because we lost. It’s a tough balance. So what I did was I just asked Chris where his head was at in case we did lose. We both agreed that the 6 needs to stay strong (Chris, me, Rizo, Sara, AnnMarie, Liam). That leaves Kyle, Steven, and Tim. I waited until Chris threw out a name first. He said that he didn’t like how Tim reacted in the first immunity challenge when our second move didn’t count because we formatted it wrong. He said that he didn’t like that Tim was sooooo upset at the hosts. That gave me an opening to share that when I accidentally made an incorrect Harry Potter reference, Tim all of a sudden didn’t talk to me as much. I didn’t share my thoughts that I think Tim is very smart and strategic. I would be afraid of him in the merge - he comes off as someone who would be okay throwing alliance members under the bus to further his game. I mean, I am too (IN THE GAME - I LOVE MY PEOPLE AS PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE GAME). So if we do lose an immunity, Tim will probably be a target; however, it may be beneficial to get Kyle or Steven out since they are on my list. We will see how things go if it comes down to it. Another thing that I need to balance is my threat level in challenges. It’s tough because I want us to win, and it’s hard for me not to take control of the challenges. I’m trying to control just as much as I think I need to to win, but not adding too much extra strategically if it’s not needed. Okay, so alliances: things are about the same, but there is one new alliance - Tim’s Devils. So basically, Tim made a group chat with AnnMarie, Sara, and me with some important information. Apparently when he played Hero’s chess with Tawnie, she told him that Noah has been a little creepy (AKA Dan-like) with the girls in their tribe. Now, unfortunately this could be three different things: 1. Noah could actually be creeping and that would be gross. I’m assuming that since he wasn’t ousted from the game, that if he is being creepy, he got a warning and stopped. 2. Tawnie could be making it up. Now, I would hope that wouldn’t be the case, especially given the events of the current season with Missy and Elizabeth. I really really REALLY hope this isn’t the case. Why would she do this? Maybe she has Noah on her list for the immunity twist. If she is doing it, and it’s for that reason, that would be super messed up. 3. Tim could be making up the story that Tawnie told him. Again, I would hope this isn’t true. What would his motivation be? Maybe to keep the target off of himself in a merge or swap? All three of these scenarios are messed up. Sexual harassment is not okay, and neither is using it for gameplay! So Chris said that Corgis is the new FOUTTE (four of us to the end - a bb21 reference). I said we have to keep the name Corgis, and Fessie is not invited. I’m in for that final 4, except for Sara. I adore Sara, but in terms of the immunity twist, she is on my list along with Kyle and Steven. So I need to figure out a way to get her out ASAP, without making it obvious that I’m doing it. I haven’t mentioned this to anyone in the tribe. AnnMarie knows she’s on my list, but I’m on AnnMarie’s list. So it might be beneficial to get AnnMarie out at some point too. I don’t know who else has me on their list. Chris is my #1 for now. As much as I adore him as well, I am not afraid to throw him under the bus in the finals. Chris, if you are reading this after the game, I love you and it’s just game play! I do want to go to the end with you though!!!!! F2! Or F3 with Rizo if that’s the case. The other tribe has been going to tribal. So unless we have a tribe swap soon, they are more likely to get the idol first. So that is definitely something to keep in mind. If Noah goes home tonight, it will be in the back of my mind that Tawnie may have him on her list. And if someone from their tribe gets the immunity, then she may be a contender. Should keep things interesting! Okay, so it’s almost time for me to get on Radiator Springs - so that’s it for now!

So I find that my top 2 are Rizo and Gwen, both of whom have now told me in various ways that I'm their number 1. This should be interesting! I actually dig Rizo a lot but also I had good vibe on Gwen since seeing her intro so we are gonna have to see how this plays out!

I talked to Gwen and we both said we didnt have each other for the twist but I voiced my concern on having the name of someone I like but beung unsure if I should tell them and she felt best to not say a word so I guess Im not telling Rizo 8l

Okay FIRST OFF i don’t wanna day that i’m controlling the game. But i’m controlling the game. I’m obviously a F2 with Tawni bc we know eachother and we tell eachother everything. Noah thinks he’s my F2 but tbh i hope me and tawni can get him out soon bc he’s so PARANOID. Will thinks that we are bffs and i’m blindsiding him tonight. Dylan and Amy think i’m super close with them. And i’m also cool with vincent and Austin. Everyone keeps coming to ME with different plans and it honestly feels nice. I’m just gonna keep being nice while telling them what is going to happen. mwah X

Everything’s going good(knock on wood). We’ve won two straight immunities and the reward challenge(way to go Tim), and we’re about to have the numbers by two people. Hoping we can keep our immunity streak going. I want to get a good group going, possibly with an alliance chat. I feel pretty good with everybody. Really hoping we don’t swap anytime soon. And finally. Go Petrel.

Ok, so I'm gonna be a little mean, but I think I already know who doesn't like me. It feels like a lot of people in my tribe. Everyone is lovely, but I feel a bit disconnected from everyone, especially because of my inactivity. I'm happy though, because everyone works so well in challenges. My inactivity due to school is gonna mess up my game for sure. I'll try to be a bit more bold and there, so I'm not as forgettable as I think I am.

7 votes Will, 1 vote Amy.