#ill probably delete this later this is embarrassing but i just need to shout from my soapbox a little bit

[dykedragons]

good moment

[thenerdyunhealthybrit]

Loneliness and Smoking: The Cost of desire to reconnect

Prompt: Met on the fire escape outside the apartment for smokes AU

A/N: Okay, quick little note, basically since last Summer I vowed to myself to get into FanFic writing. Little note, I did give it a go back in 2011 with Buffy/Angel and Charmed, but what happened was that I’d get hooked on a new show and lose motivation and the will to write more, this was on an old account which I’ve since forgotten the password and deleted the email account for it (But it’s DrBangelWho if anyone is curious about a 14 year old’s foray into FanFic). Anyway, I wrote a page of a FanFic I was writing when on holiday, but haven’t gotten back to it since on the holiday I got too busy (It was a Film Festival) and once again got distracted and Uni took over. So, this one is just for me to get into the swing of things. There is no planning, making it up on the spot and I took this prompt from the list of Prompts on the Klaroline FanFic directory. So wish me luck!

If you asked Caroline “where you’d see yourself in 10 years” when she was 15, she would have said “I would have graduated from Yale with a degree in journalism and anchoring the late-night news slot on CNN, gearing up for the prime-time slot when I’m thirty, and living with my future husband, Stefan”. Yeah, 15 year old Caroline was naïve, because here she is 25, single living in New York with Stefan, working as a hotel receptionist, her best friend and his latest “Epic Love” Ivy – Seriously he only met her two days ago and she’s already unofficially moved in. For all she knows, Ivy could be a psychopath ready to murder us in the night!

Currently, Caroline is stuck at the umpteenth weekly dinner, in attendance is her, Stefan who is fondling Ivy’s hands non-stop, Damon who is clearly trying to get off with Elena – Why Elena is married to him, Caroline doesn’t know and she does not understand why her friends and close to him, she tried to cut him out of her life but her friends just gain up on her – well, except Katherine, but she’s off endlessly travelling the globe. Bonnie use to but then Elena got to her, speaking of Bonnie she was here with my best friend from College and her boyfriend Enzo, but they had to leave because Bonnie’s daughter Emily was ill and their babysitter has school tomorrow. So basically Caroline is the third, well the fifth wheel in this disgusting orgy.

“I’m gonna barf” she muttered. She’s had enough, she needs a breather.

“I’m going to go out and grab some wine,” She told the group with a raised voice, they clearly didn’t notice, as Caroline opened the door “and drink it all myself.” She added, not bothering to be quiet about it. As she exited her apartment she shut the door and saw the fire escape and immediately climbed out the window and climbed up the top of the stairs near the roof.

“Hey,” Caroline said as she sat down.

“Sup” The sandy-haired man replied next to her. This has been happening for months, it started back in September when Caroline needed to escape from her mom visiting and Damon was doing his sleazy schmoozing with my mom and he was there, in her spot.

“Hey, move” Caroline snapped at him, she needed a cigarette and she needed one right now. He looked at me, smirk, chuckled and just sat there! “Buddy, listen I’m not in the mood, my mom is down in my flat, speaking to my roommate’s creep of a brother and asking me when I’m getting married and where my life is heading, so would you pretty pleased move your pretty ass elsewhere so I can have a cheeky little smoke before my mom tries to look for me.” She rambled.

He just sat there, Caroline could tell that he homed in on that “pretty ass” comment, she tried to not let her inner embarrassment show, he then stopped looking at me and started facing the skyline. “Asshole! Ugh!” Caroline muttered badly, and she walked out, she likes to smoke alone, that way she can hide the judgment and have alone time, she decided that she’d simply turn up later when he isn’t there.

This kept happening every other day, sometimes he would be there, other times she’d be there first, he refused to leave if Caroline was there first, and eventually, they developed a pattern. They’d just still by the fire escape at the top, and smoke, sometimes they shared if one of us ran out. No words were spoken, and they barely know anything about each other – Caroline only found out that he was British in December when they started communicating with one-worded syllables knowing nothing about each other.

“Give me that,” she said as she snatched the cigarette out of his hands. Okay, she’s in a very bad mood. She could tell that he was slightly annoyed by her tone, but Caroline tonight didn’t care. Her life is going nowhere, and she’s never felt so alone in her life.

“What has your boyfriend done this time?” He quipped to her, although there was an unexplained tone to it, something was up, she couldn’t tell what.

As Caroline breathed out the smoke, “What? Boyfriend?” This is new territory, where did this come from? What is he on about? “Stefan? Oh god no! I mean, when I met him at school, yeah I was attracted to him, but it literally died the next day when he started talking about his hero hair to me, I’ve learnt to never date a guy that would rather talk about his hair and other girls, than you.” She scoffed as she said it. “I mean, his hair isn’t even that great, you know?”

She could have sworn that she heard him say “Good”. “So, what has gotten yourself into a twist then?” He said hesitantly.

“I’m sorry, but what is going on?” She had to ask confusingly, they don’t do this. They smoke in silence and go their own way. This is how she likes it, no one can judge her. “I’m not going to unload myself to some stranger- ”

“I’m not a stranger” he cut her off.

“Or some guy whose name I don’t know.” She sharply responded.

“Klaus” he answered, just as Caroline finished her sentence.

“Caroline” She countered. “I’m not going to tell you.” He continued looking at her, he even started to rest his elbows on his knees and hands under his chin. Arrogant ass. He looks at her knowingly.

“Fine!” she shouted at him. Klaus started to smirk. “Wipe that smirk off, you ass!” He didn’t, or he did but he didn’t stop smiling. Caroline took her time, how is she going to explain this. “I hate my life okay. All my friends are in long-term relationships, know what they are doing or are Stefan. And my life sucks about, I have a degree in Journalism, I thought I’d be working at a news station by now, my roommate is inconsiderate and selfish, he dates all these women, proclaim them as the love of his life, they move in, I have to clean up the mess, then they break up and it’s just rinse and repeat. Then I just had it up to here with his brother, he is not just an ass, he is a fucking dickhead, who had consistently done beyond shitty things and my friends know that he has done this and what he has done to m- but don’t care. Meanwhile, my mom is complaining about my job as a receptionist, wanting me to move home, asking if I found someone – man or women, she says I can’t be choosy anymore – and I’m just at breaking point, I’m wondering why am I here, because there is nothing for me in New York, I have a degree which is useless, a job I hate and I’m not even sure if I want a career in journalism anymore!” Caroline ranted and rambled, it started off quiet but as she vented, her confidence grew. As she finished, however, her confidence suddenly shrank and now she was embarrassed, he probably thinks that it was petty and a spoilt brat and now he’d never want her company again. “I’m sorry,” she said nervously as she changed her tune. “I’ve gotta go” she handed him the cigarette quickly and raced back down to her flat completely embarrassed.

“Caroline” she heard him say, but right now she didn’t care.

It’s been 5 days since that incident, and she hasn’t gone back up there since, opting to smoke on her way home from work instead. Stefan has broken up with Ivy, who did not take it well – there were slaps and tears. Caroline would have laughed if one of those slaps weren’t directed at her as she accused her of turning Stefan against her. He’s now moved onto Valerie, she’s saner but more standoffish, cold, unapproachable, Caroline honestly doesn’t care about Stefan’s “loves” anymore. “Hey, blondie!” Damon snarked – Elena and him have temporarily moved in while their flat is getting fixed after it got flooded.

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped. It was only her and Damon.

“Aww, come on, Carebear, don’t be like that I thought we were friends.” He teasingly answered.

“Are you kidding me, in what world would I seriously be friends with you after what you did.” She shot back. Is he for real? She is not in the mood today and he was just making her mad, madder than she’s been in a long time.

“Okay, we had some fun in high school. You regretted it afterwards, caused some usual drama, I’m over it” He light-heartedly answered, trying to go in for a hug. Something in Caroline switched.

“Are you fucking kidding me! We did not have some ‘fun’ as you eloquently put it. You know what I did and I weren’t lying when I told Elena 7 years ago.”

“Hang on, you said yes!” Damon cut in as he sobered up.

“No. I may have said yes at first, but then you started verbally assaulting me, telling me I was weak and pathetic. I don’t tend to want to sleep with guys that speak to me like crap. I withdrew my consent, I said no, you wouldn’t accept it, you wouldn’t let me go. You…you…” She couldn’t say the words, she never could she knew what he did, but she couldn’t say it to him, by saying it, she goes back to being that 18 year old girl. “…And afterwards, you continued to verbally abuse me, until you got with Elena and I don’t know how, but you got everyone to forgive you, to think it’s alright. 'Oh, Caroline just needs to move on. Caroline just needs to toughen up. Well, she was all over Damon, she got what she wanted’ and you know what I did toughen up, I tried to deal with it because I weirdly wanted my friends’ happiness above myself. I’m done. Fuck you, Damon.” She then stormed out of the apartment.

“Wait why did I storm out, it’s my apartment.” She muttered to herself outside the door, well she can’t go back in, kind of negates her power moment there. She snuck out the fire escape and saw that it was empty. Perfect. She sat in her usual spot, it was weird, she didn’t realise how empty she felt, sitting by herself, as she lit her cigarette and as she took a smoke, “I should really quit” she spoke to herself.

“You’ve been avoiding me” Caroline stopped smoking, she heard a voice above her, not just any voice, a particular cocky, annoying voice. With a god damn sexy – very sexy – British accent. She looked up.

“Hey, the roof is banned remember!?” She shouted, trying to avoid the subject. This was not the plan.

“I’ve been here every day you know. I wanted to check if you were alright, but you never came.” Klaus confronted her, Caroline could detect a bit of a sad tone in his voice, she immediately felt guilty, she tried to explain. “No, don’t talk, I want to show you something.” He added and he reached for her hand, to help her up on the roof. As she turned around, she saw the most beautiful thing ever. There were fairy lights hung up everywhere, a tartan blanket on the floor, accompanied by a picnic basket. She never thought that a roof in a cheap apartment building could look so stunning. “I…er…know that you feel that your life sucks, and you might be going through a bit of a crisis. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted you to feel better, even if it’s more a moment.” He explained nervously, Caroline found it weird as his arrogant demeanour was gone and was replaced by a nervous schoolboy as he looked down, scratching his neck.“

"Thanks.” Caroline answered. Touched. She proceeded to sit on the blanket. “Well, aren’t you going to pour me a drink?” she quipped at him. Caroline couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he shocked? A smile formed, and he proceeded to sit down.

They talked for hours, they lost track of time, there was a lot of laughter, Caroline has not had this much fun in years, she forgot everything that was going on in her life. She checked her phone and saw it was 10pm, “It’s 10. We should probably…” She gently said to him, after a period of blissful silence.

“Right.” He answered. He started to pack everything away, Caroline decided to help, after they were done, they headed down the fire escape back into the apartment building. They realised that they didn’t want to leave each other’s company and took the long route back down. They just walked in silence, having never felt this much calm in years. They reached Klaus’s apartment first. “So…” he said as he broke the silence.

“So…” she was starting to feel awkward. Nervous and awkward, why does this feel like a first date?

“As he put the key into his door, "Umm…I had a lot of fun, do you want to do this again? But like properly?” He was nervous again. Caroline found it cute, but strangely was missing the cocky Klaus she has known for months.

“I had fun to do, umm…yeah okay,” Caroline answered. Caroline knew that she was starting to blush, but right now she didn’t care.

“Ok, cool.” He answered with a slight smile. They were in silence once again. Do they hug? Kiss? Why are they suddenly acting like they have never dated people before?

“I’m going to let you go.” Caroline answered, partly to fill in the silence, but also to end it, if one of them didn’t stop, she didn’t know how long they’d be standing in the hallway in silence. Klaus turns the keys in the keyhole and opened the door. Caroline could see the old Klaus return, he had a sense of renewed confidence, with one foot in the door, he turned around and immediately kissed a surprised Caroline on the lips. It was gentle and very charged, they kept being pulled into this their own personal bubble, this kiss wasn’t about lust or sex. It was about the beginning of something. Something special. Something great. Klaus stopped the kiss but Caroline didn’t want to. She kept her eyes closed a little longer, she could feel his smirk burning through her closed eyes, so Caroline opened them.

“Bye” Klaus grinned, the asshole. He’s back to his normal self, which infuriated Caroline. Not because he was being an ass. It was because she was still attracted to him. Just as Klaus was about to close the door, she heard a second voice from inside the flat.

“Oh good, you finally asked her out. It only took you four months!” a feminine, also British voice shouted through the flat. Klaus went red, he was mortified, Caroline started to laugh. Oh, how the tables have turned.

She continued laughing, until she remembered what she heard, “Wait a sec, 4 months!”

A/N: Okay, that’s it, folks. I know that I left some open bits. Basically, I wanted to leave it open for a potential sequel but from Klaus’s POV, one which would address Damon more and give that a conclusion. I just had to include it based on what happened in TVD, I couldn’t ignore it when I mentioned Damon, but at the same time, I didn’t want the whole one-shot to be about that. As I said, I wanted to leave a lot open for a potential sequel. I know a lot isn’t resolved and it was done purposely because as I wrote it, I realised that I wanted to explore that period of adulthood, between when you leave College and went you really hit adulthood and you are kind of lost.

Review, like do it all. Constructive criticism is appreciated, I wrote this on the spot, to try and get through a little stumbling block so I can write more, I haven’t written in years. So reviews would be greatly appreciated.