#ill say it i think theyre stupid and i will not pretend to NOT think theyre stupid

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

[cryptideye]

love when people are like "im an atheist BUT everyone is valid and i respect everyones beliefs!!!" move aside i will disrespect them for you

[onlyjellyillputinmybelly]

Hey guys i've found myself defending America and it feels weird but can yall tell me if I'm in the wrong here?

(its long im sorry)

TLDR: My friend is an international student, we got in a joking argument about soccer vs football that ended in accusations of racism and McCarthyism. Did I take it too far?

.........

I go to a private college in America (in the south) that I have worked hard to get a full tuition scholarship so I can afford to attend. I have a friend who also goes here that is an international student from New Delhi. I'll call her N.

N is very sweet, but she has the tendency to get very peeved about the culture differences between India and America. I have met plenty of other international students who are also from India (there are a LOT of international students this year) and most of them are very chill and embrace the multicultural area that the school is located in.

I am also, as we may know, an avid arguer. I'm a philosopher at heart. I think disagreements let me get to know people better through how they argue (which helps me know if they'd be a good friend. idk its the tism ig).

So N and I were chilling and out of the blue they send me a reel about how non-americans get mad when americans say soccer and not football. I sent back "its true cuz we're fine with them calling it football but they pop off whenever we say soccer" and she responds with "Because you're saying it wrong."

We've had convos like this and I normally assume they're being light hearted and pretending like its a big thing, so I responded kinda sarcastically "damn learn how to accept peoples differences" and she said "not if theyre american"

Like ok shes being sarcastic back but it feels weird. I started bantering about how other countries also say soccer (australia, south africa, new guinea) and she says "yes but only in the US and canada you haveto clarify what you mean when you say football because yall stole the name."

This confused me cuz tf you mean "you stole the name." First off I didn't do shit, second off how the fuck do you steal a sport? I said exactly that and she replies with "Nothing in america is your own" and holy shit im actually defending america wtf. This is not like me. But im not defending its history or its government, im defending the culture of it cus thats honestly the only good part of it. So respond with a cheeky lil "and isnt that beautiful" and she says "its yall being stupid."

I say "its a melting pot" and she says "a melting pot takes inspiration." I got a lil pissed at this because ok so did immigrants and enslaved people just spawn here? Did they steal their own cultures from their home countries?

They went on for a bit about how america is built off of appropriation, which it is fair that cultures are constantly being appropriated, but there are also cultures constantly being celebrated and fused, and that fusion and appreciation is what has the lasting impact.

I say this and she says "whatever im not arguing with an American" which of course I have to shit headedly respond with "imagine being reductive sorry I'm different than you"

She then responds with "bitch ur white" which yes. But does that mean I dont come from a diverse background and dont have culture? I respond "Yes and I live in a wonderfully diverse city of people who come from different cultures that I learn about and respect and love" and girl goes "those places dont exist in america" THEN WHERE AM I??? SPAIN???

We are literally in one of the most diverse and culture-rich cities in the south (ill give you 3 guesses) and she is saying that there isnt diversity and respect anywhere in america.

Skip forward a bit, she says that america has no culture, then corrects that to say "white america has no culture." That fucked with me a bit because its sus as shit to use the idea of "white america" and "poc america" in an argument. I said that and said that you can't give a concrete definition to "white culture" or "black culture" or "latine culture" cuz thats literally stereotyping

She said that prayer is a big part of indian culture, but isnt necessarily an overall truth for every person, which is fair. So I said then wouldn't American culture be like the national anthem. She said no because every country had a national anthem. I said that prayers are part of other cultures too, but that doesnt take away from the fact that theyre parts of other cultures too.

She then said that the national anthem isnt culture because "thats only for white people" and "a lot of america is only for white people (meaning its been used to disenfranchise poc people but she worded it in a way that sounded a smidge racist but no shade) And I said yea it fucking sucks and its forced upon us but its still well known. Theres no way that prayer isn't used to disenfranchise religious minorities in India, but its still culture.

She then said that white culture and american culture isnt a thing but black and latine culture is, (which tbh neither of us can really speak on, I was mainly discussing the american and latine element cuz I can speak on those) and I said that denying that american culture is just a mix of cultures evolving parallel over time simply because a bunch of shitty white guys founded the country is ignoring the people who have worked hard to make america their home and to carve out a spot for their own culture in this country. Just because people fucking sucked (like they have in the history of every fucking country ever) doesn't mean that people arent working to make the world better in their wake.

She said that poc culture in america stems from years of oppression. I agreed, but I said that racism and oppression isnt an America-exclusive thing. She then said, pretty out of the blue, that " for you to deny that their culture stems from oppression is racist." I said "when did I deny that." She said "you said you dont deny that what youre denying is racist. So that means you're being racist."

This confused me, so I asked "where did I deny that something was racist." Also I'm pre law, so I started getting a lil pre-law-y here. Don't judge me its a survival instinct I got from my parents lmao. She said "I said if you refuse to accept that black and brown cultures are real youre being racist." I said "show me what message I said that."

She said "chill babe theres no need to get defensive" which is literally the worst thing to say to me because boom youve made me into a defense attorney. I hate being patronized. I said "I am not being defensive, you are making accusations with no regard for evidence." (my profs would like that line)

She goes "this isnt a court of law girl" ok girl you act like youre gonna say that america doesnt have culture and then call me racist? I really just wanted this to end so I pulled out the mccartheyism card and said "you cant red scare roundabout logic your way out of being reductive and oversimplifying an enormously widespread country." and we were done. I know I ended it on an accusatory note which I hate, but I feel like shes ignoring so much thats literally going on in front of her face. Did I go too far? I know that I did and I shouldn'tve started the "youre being reductive" circle, but genuinely, the cure to culture shock isnt to be indignant about every difference you see, its to accept it. Its the same in literally every country. You cant just say "no I dont want to."

[cryptidmomochi]

did you know?

the insistence by commentary creators on treating children the same way as adults has caused ridiculous amounts of harm.

over and over i would see drama about various artists, and so many of them were just kids. some of them were younger than me, but i didnt know that. i thought they were all much older than me, because that's how they were treated.

"oh this person was a groomer" they were a child. if a child is exhibiting groomer-like tendencies, they don't just get that out of nowhere.

"oh this person pretended to have mental illness or s/h for attention" that is not a thing that normal people do. you look stupid when you say that. just because someone is doing something "for attention" doesn't mean nothing's actually wrong.

"this kid was racist" im from an extremely white, quite cishet, and very able-bodied town (or, at the very least, the town is inaccessible enough that you just don't see that many disabled people, who knows). sometimes you learn bigoted rhetoric, then have to unlearn it. sometimes you say stupid shit because other people around you say that exact stupid shit. kids in particular do not always know better. just because theyre 16 doesn't mean they're exempt from being stupid.

like.

can we stop hatemobbing fucking children. i have at least lingered online for almost 10 years. kids are one of the most likely groups to get harassed, often by adults. im glad i never developed a sizeable following before i turned 18. i wouldnt have been able to handle it either.

but im just shouting to the void, really. commentary creators dont fucking learn. they just hop onto the next bandwagon and ignore it.

do you ever wonder why so many commentary types keep getting into trouble? hopeless peaches, creepshow, daftpina, turkey tom, omnia, prison mate luke, im sure i could think of more given the time and given a little bit more research to track down some old creators i used to watch. good people don't go online and talk about kids like they should be killed. the art commentary community as a whole is rife with toxicity, seemingly always searching for small prey nobody's heard of. I remember a very long time ago there was a "drama" because an artist on deviantart didn't want their art being favourited (they misunderstood what it did) and that was a big enough deal to start making videos about. playlists upon playlists preying on kids being stupid.

if not kids, then any other vulnerable group will do just fine, too. if you remember the "tumblr art style", youll know it had a few main "characteristics"; ambiguous race, hairy legs, character depictions that weren't conventionally attractive, bandaids, s/h scars, drawing the characters with different body types, depictions of mental illnesses and disorders, the works. the "tumblr art style" was, in reality, a dogwhistle. it wasn't about the art. it was about the fact that it wasnt a white, cishet, able-bodied, neurotypical man or woman. that was a topic for a few years. "the problem with the tumblr art style", "tumblr art style cringe", i only knew of tumblr from those types of videos when i was in middle school.

commentary rarely if ever cares about justice. its just another dime in their wallet, and if they have to harass kids to get it, well, that's just fine.

[yuukei-yikes]

idk if you've posted about this b4 but do you have like any first kiss scenarios for your kagepro ships? like i absolutely know you def have one for hrtk but any others?

surprisingly i dont?? but i love making shit up so let's goooo. ill do shinaya setomary kidomomo harutaka kanoshin cuzzzz i like them

i mean it could go a million ways. also its embarrassing to write it down it's much easier to draw this kinda thing heh.. erm erm ill try to come up with something *massages brain*

surprisingly the most clear to me is shinaya??? they'd go so long without kissing it gets to a point it will NOT happen on its own so they HAVE to be like erm so are we gonna kiss or what <- ayano obviously. she will ask him. its very difficult for her Ok. and then a horrible disaster kiss.would take place i believe. i just think they'd have a funny first kiss where their teeth bump and its painful. or they make a stupid ass fish face with all their cheeks puffed up. yknow. and sorry if i may get gross for a second but if they attempt to makeout its a disaster. can u imagine that. both go into it with their mouths wide open and tongue OUT. sorry that's gross its just so fucking funny to me. like they'd be so BAD at it.

setomary dont ever kiss and if they do its little pecks while saying mmmmmwah out loud. i know so! for a first kiss it'd be an accident. one of them aimed for the cheek and the other turned around. then they teehee about it and kiss for reals

KIDOMOMO i feel like. they'd have the most conventional situation of all. like they'd have a first date kiss at the end of it momo pops her foot up. boom first kiss. I think it'd be something like kido sort of wants to take the lead (leader DUUUH) but momo is so straightforward, it was her who asked them out, planned the date, reached out to holds hands etc etc. so by the end of the date kido is so defeated. they take momo home but all of a sudden momo acts shy when they're saying bye bc dammit. she's just a girl in the world. kidos like itd be so easy to pretend i dont see it and just go home but i MUST BE BRAVE💥 and kisses her :3 :3 :3 sorry this is so cheesy but its so cute... can u envision what i am putting down.... auugghhh kidomomo is rly cute like theyre literally puppy love

UMMMM kanoshin...... kanoshin happens in a delusional situation for them both like they walk out of it not knowing what just happened. it's definitely kano's fault. probably trying to tease or annoy shintaro taken too far.

and for harutaka MANNN its funny u said i absolutely must have something thought but idk? i imagine something rly simple like they're talking and since they're super cringe they talk all up on each others faces and then they go for it. idk. they kiss like a day after confessing or something . or an hour later. dude idk

while confessing is kinda important to harutaka since its a whole thing for them like Haruka i love youuuuu Takane i wanna see youuuuuu like i get it guys. u wanna talk. however i do also kinda like the idea they kiss before confessing. idk i just like it. like they just go for it💥💥💥 YOU KNOW WHATS COOL FOR HARUTAKA TOO excitedly kissing and THEN realising they just kissed. wait see this is my problem with them i just like way too many scenarios They are everything 2 me

anyways. yep. let me know if u have any ultra scepecific scenarios for these ships i like hearing abt them they're cute🙏🙏🙏

[caluski]

ive made myself hot chocolate wine. hot wine chocolate maybe. its mostly hot chocolate and some wine... i only added a little because i havent made hot wine in a long time now, i was worried id evaporate the alcohol and make it gross. but it turned out fine and its good, maybe next time ill make some with spices. maybe replace oat milk with some other one... i think cashew might be good, maybe if i spot it on sale somewhere. with cinnamon maybe, with slices of orange? orange matches both chocolate and wine, why wouldn't it work with both at the same time. i wish i could spend an hour or so in the kitchen, making different infusions that i could try with someone else. its always so much more fun to try new things with another person.

i dont really mind drinking alone, since i already usually do it while watching something or writing. but i do really really miss drinking coffee or tea with other people. i miss talking to people so very very much. i talk so much.. if one somehow hasnt figured it out yet from the absolute fucking abundance of long posts on my blog, but i really do love talking. my big problem is that i talk so much, that my hot drinks cool down before i get to take a sip or two. im really horrible at keeping that balance between being caught up with the conversation and drinking. although i never really have much to say, i keep repeating the stories ive already told a million times before, and i say silly stuff, and i complain about a lot of things, and i get sidetracked constantly. not really in like, adorable or quirky way, i can imagine it must be annoying for the other people in the conversation, especially when i get too excited and interrupt people and dont listen very well. i think its one of those things i wanna improve about myself.

yesterday, as i was walking home through the centre of the city, i was horribly in need of coffee, it was so cold and i was in a good mood, and i only had weak green tea that morning, and since it was still pretty early in the day, the cafes had some free spots. but i walked in, looked around, and walked out. its like everything reminds me of loneliness these days, and when i got inside, tables were all taken by couples or groups. i dont think it was a sign of anything, but it made me so awfully bitter. i know loneliness doesnt make me special, i know literally everyone experiences it to some degree, but god, it really hurts to look around and see that despite everything, people always have someone out there. a best friend, a significant other, family member, whatever.

theres that stupid thing everyone always repeats, "theres always someone out there who loves you, even if you dont know about it". i used to hold onto that desperately, but its so dumb. unrealistic and dumb. it makes you hope that maybe right now youre alone, but once you'll be at your rock bottom, SOMEONE will magically show up and say, i care for you, and i will be by your side to support you, or whatever. but then you hit the rock bottom and theres nothing, or better yet, someone you had hoped would stay with you suddenly says "i have anxiety and seasonal affective disorder, i cant be around you or ill get worse, too", and you dont want them to get worse because of you, of course you dont. theyre being reasonable, and you know that, and you cant do anything about it. even if you do guilt-trip them into staying, would that even really help, if they resented you for it secretly for the rest of their life.

a week ago or so ive walked into a cafe, as well, but i got so overwhelmed that i had to pretend to look around which tables are free, and left right away. just brought in mud and puddles, probably, since it was such a snowy day. i worry that one day ill be better, but i wont be able to step foot inside a cafe anymore, because it will remind me of nothing but the days when it was just me and self-loathing. not that i can really afford cafes anymore, but i cant think about that now. or worse, that ill never get better, and ill never get to experience it again, the presence of another person by my side, having coffee or tea or desserts, and talking and laughing and maybe even flirting. that thought makes me nauseous, but i know its likely. it kind of sounds like not much to wish for, but it feels almost too perfect to ever be possible - not only to have money for that in the first place, but also a person who cares for you enough to want to be around you, to want to talk to you or listen to you, a person who wont tell you "we can go out, but i have only an hour" and then leave after 20 minutes because it turns out in that hour was included their ride back home.

i keep thinking, one day ill find someone, one day i wont be lonely anymore and then ill let it all out of my system. but i know its silly, because by the time ill find someone, ill forget how to really be a person, how to have a conversation. i talk to myself a lot, in my head, but its not enough, it doesnt really feel like anything. i write a diary, i write short stories, i write posts on this stupid blog, but nothing feels like talking to another person, and its awful. my memory is far worse, i stutter more and more with each passing year, im being more and more awkward in such an uncomfortable and humiliating way, that it only makes my brain scream at me to shut up forever. i know why my family doesnt want to talk to me, im more unpleasant than ive ever been. i know its unfair to be blaming them for not wanting me around; they stopped asking about anything, recently, because i cant stop crying whenever they start the topic of job search. i cry too much these days. i had to stop showing up to my favorite grocery store, because theyve seen me too many times all wet-eyed. and i cant help it anymore! i know im still human, i know im not a victim, i know my suffering isnt greater than anyone else's. but something has changed and i cant imagine getting better, anymore. or at least going back to who i used to be. theres no hope anymore! and if theres no hope for me anymore, what do i do? "just surviving" isnt neutral, its horrible, its painful, its a nightmare. i dont want my life to look like this. i dont know what to do anymore. and ive said it a thousand times, i know, but its the only thing i have floating around in my useless empty head. i miss hope. i miss believing that i could still be happy, one day. and i know that was stupid, too, i can see it now, but at least it was something to hold onto.

i miss being around people. i miss it so much. i miss talking to people so horribly. i miss laughing and i miss being held. i dont need all this cortisol. i dont want to forget what it feels like to not be alone. but the more i want it, the more out of reach everything feels, the more unrealistic even the simplest things seem. i might as well be dreaming of living in alternate universe fanfiction.

[faerociousbeast]

actually i already rated the "canon" ships what am i doing. i know ill rate them again

naruhina: -10/10. concept is mediocre at best, popular guy x shy girl but that is literally not what is happening here. can we stop pretending its good

sasusaku: -10/10. please project onto someone else

narusaku: 2/10. they care about each other a lot so i guess its ok-er but still not very good romantically. but again if it were endgame it wouldve been not AS bad

inosai: 4/10. it makes so much sense but also zero sense and i never know how to feel about it. sai isnt a sasuke replacement tho. lavender marriage?

shikatema: 3/10. good in concept but again. see sokka and suki atla thats what this COULD HAVE been but it isnt. just bc theyve actually talked does not mean its good where are your expectations. 3 points for meeting before tho bc for some reason that is so hard in this series

chokarui: 3/10. the reason why the previous one also got 3. 3 points for this one bc i guess theres nothing objectively wrong with it but can we stop getting strong female characters move their entire lives to immigrate to the stupid leaf and rhen get dumbed down to angry housewife? please?

tamakiba: 1/10. i love kiba where did this come from tho. if we put tamaki in a crowd we would lose her. summary of all that is wrong in boruto The Pairings Were Not Planned If They Had To Make Up An Entire Ass Woman

itaizu: 0/10 bro. they were 7.

obirin: 3/10 i have.... mixed feelings. rin isnt enough of an actual character for this

kakarin: 1/10 see above

asukure: -1/10 i actually hate this one. fun fact asumas introduction is him being a misogynistic ass to kurenai, so i kinda never got over that w asumas character BUT THEN THEY WENT AND GOT TOGETHER???? for all i said ab other characters not really Having characters, kurenai really takes the cake. all this did was make her a wife and mom. cool. goodbye

yahikona: 8/10 winnnnn the background random couple of side characters is somehow better than all the main ones!!

hayugao: 5/10. idk if thats the ship name but yugao x hayate. at least they had development i guess but its just. theyre REALLY background

tsunadan: 10/10 love tsunadan live laugh love tsunadan. pairing that had the best development in the whole series and it was like. 3 pages long.

jiratsuna: 1/10 i just dont like jiraiya and tsunades already rejected him why does she have to accept him now. give it up old man

minakushi: 7/10 ive mentioned this before but while the pairing itself is nice, kushinas character gets done so bad w all her ambitions in this, and minato doesnt really have much of a character. better than the main ones but could be better.

hashimito: 4/10 see look i really think this couldve been good but then hashirama rambled about madara the whole time and didnt think to mention his WIFE! once so im kind of mad at him about that. hsmd juice sure ig but mito deserves better

hiruzen and his wife: 2/10. i feel like nobody should have to deal with hiruzen for such an extended amount of time but i remember finding her annoying too

koteizu: 100/10 obviously. of course they are canon. ostrich episode carried they carry love them

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/723940695261560832/funny-to-me-how-ppl-talking-about-fandom?source=share

for some reason people think im catnon so ill just say im not? i dont agree with what theyre doing and getting this pissy over a fictional ship is stupid. canon coderra is awful and stalking should not be normalized. my point is that the td fandom can't deny that they do absolutely awful with listening to minorities when it comes to discourse. if they actually did then over half of the discourse on this blog wouldn't exist. i am in fact a minority (🤯) so im just speaking from what i've experienced in this fandom. don't pretend like you care about us when none of you do fucking jackshit when it comes to making sure we feel safe and respected in this community

.

[fratboykate]

I love hearing you talk about what actually goes on in the film and TV industry. It really shows that lay people truly have no idea what happens behind the scenes and who's actually integral to getting their favorite show made. I have a dumb question related to that stuff if that's OK? If a film is indie produced and doesn't get any kind of distribution aside from being put on amazon and apple TV, does that have any chance of turning a profit?

i saw a writer use the term in the last few weeks that i love because the idiots have really come out of the woodwork since the whole strike talk started. that writer called it "fansplaining". it's where fans try to explain shit they have no idea about TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WORK DOING THE THING and then you ask them "what are your qualifications to even be talking on this" and WITHOUT FAIL it's always something like "well i took my AV class in high school" or "i took a class in college" or even worse "im a cinephile" and in the same breath are saying the dumbest shit of all time that has no connection to reality. ive said it before and ill say it again: unless you work in the industry or are like a trades reporter (and surprisingly during the strike we've also found out a lot of them dont know jack shit either) you know nothing. the amount of stupidity i see said on here, twitter, or IG comments is insane and people say it with their full chests too. and they wont hear otherwise either. you live in bumfuck, arkansas and have never step foot on a set or a development meeting. i could take a class on welding and would still never dare to pretend to know more than the people who actually earn a living doing this. no one has enough hubris to walk into surgery and tell a doctor they know more whats going on better than they do but suddenly when it comes to the industry EVERYONE is an expert because theyve read a wikipedia article. this industry is complex and layered and the vast majority of what happens and how it happens never makes it to the people who don't work within it.

stop pretending you know anything. about how it's done or about the people who work in it. those actors you love and who couldnt have more sanitized public personas as "uwu sweet baby angels"??? a lot of them are fucking pricks. they play a version of themselves for the cameras and the fans the same way they play characters. you.dont.know.people. and you dont know shit about shit. stay in your lanes and stop embarrassing yourselves online.

and as far as your question...hardly ever is the honest answer. those platforms are like spotify. everyone can through their song on there but having it on there wont guarantee it'll get plays. its almost the equivalent of self-publishing a book. you can throw it on amazon but...is anyone going to read it??? the way indie has both eroded and become oversaturated at the same time because, back to my previous point, everyone thinks theyre a "filmmaker" just because they can buy a camera is a whole other conversation for another day.

[lifeintheworldtocome]

just 2 start this off this isnt the start of anything just a song that i can sing to you were standing in a graveyard a presumably dead arm popped thru the grass... and who doesnt talk about that honey u are nothing to me but alcohol and dopamine im dying on the sofa and i barely know the time but like an old mand say i reckon i love u for a millisecond but i dont wear a watch or rolex and my brains a toddler rollerskating down a hill i took a spill and ran into a treeee and suffered minor injuries honey you are nothing to me i dont call people anything thought to be so sweet but im just being bitchy cause nearly every1 skipped over mee on our twighlight hour meet&greet one coffee table theatre scene one disregard that soaring chick back there in corner 3 id rather let the poor kid sleep but hes tripping balls hes tripping testes lsd post wisdom teeth he got lost in the shower and he barely knows the hour i wanna know your passwords without changing them in preferences and all the childhood streets and deceased pets that theyre referencing and in the box ill type ill know all the numbers to try i wanna know the lyrics that you think of when yr high im in love with strangers who ive never even seen in love with weird cut bangs and sweaters swaying kind of awkwardly and im in love with fresh air friends from overheated houses till i uber up a giant park and dump my body in my dorm bed honey you are nothing to me i dont call people anything thought to be so sweet but the speech is coming back with a vengeance it seems and all these pretend spouses are a happy story book that willl turn to stark nonfiction in the time it took for me to notice that im old which means ill be 30 and happy likely married to personified business casual khakis and ill forget about it when i wake up late & stupid I TRIED 2 TELL THE UBER DRIVER TILL HE TRIED TO HIT IT I TRIED TO TELL MYSELF BECAUSE IVE COME THIS FAR ALONG CARRYING MY ZOMBIE ARM TO THE FOURTEENTH GRADE PROM HONEY U ARE NOTHING TO ME I DONT CALL PEOPLE ANYTHING THOUGHT 2 BE SOO SWEET BUT THE SPEECH IS COMING BACK WITH A VENGEANCE IT SEEMS THE SPEECH IS COMING BACK WITH A VENGEANCE IT SEEMS

[slowjamastan]

@council-of-beetroot i got self conscious abt adding too much to aris og post sorry

ohhh man.

whos both online enough and impulsive enough to buy a checkmark, and then be stupid about it... easy candidates: prussia, denmark, and the usa. i think canada, the philippines, belgium, and south korea also have potential (source: headcanons).

denmark would mostly impersonate people close to him imo, def sweden and probably norway. if he didnt get banned by then he'd do some of his non-related buddies too. anything he does is meme tier ("danish is a better language than mine #finallyadmittingit") <- not even funny he just wanted to screencap it. for "proof". no one laughs but no one cares enough to be mad

prussia is impersonating celebrities, historical figures, brands, the german government, whoever. hes got 15 alternate accounts on tweetdeck and all of them brand checkmarked. hes pretending to be queen elizabeths ghost and shit its real bad. when he impersonates another country its without a single thought to consequences ofc so he ends up digging up 1000yo beef with a bunch of neighbors (hungary, poland, ALLLLLL the baltics, not russia tho) so to retaliate estonia is archiving everything. for reasons.

i think canada would do some lighthearted joshing at america, also at meme tier. ("ill never be as cool as my big brother why do i try #ohcanada") alfred retaliates by being an asshole in real life. nut taps him at the next meeting or smth. al insists theyre the same age thats what hes on about

philippines and belgium im saying based off of vibe, i dont have anything specific to add. maybe theyre both smart enough to not impersonate other nations, but not smart enough to resist the temptation of checkmark shenanigans. philippines impersonates a fast food brand. belgium pretends to be a sports team. theyre all minor celebrities in their own right and funny on the internet. screencaps from each of their bs ends up in compilation threads and sometimes ppl notice the demigods names among the other people sometimes they dont

wait i have another one. hungary pretends to be austria and goes "Actually Hans Schuberht Johann VIs early compositions were subpar compared to his later work." roderich calls her later and is like. how could you say that about me i thought we were friends. then the rest of the time w her checkmark shes hyping up/one upping gilberts stupid antics. he convinced her to via discord call and theyre having so much fun. like children again

alfred is being an asshole. hes KY and ballsy enough to impersonate russia and talk shit at a politically unstable time. and technically hes not saying anything that crazy, but its Not Good. and hes like it was just a prank bro while the fbi is swatting his ass (i say all this with love in my heart). this was all after a long days work of impersonating trump and other us politicians

and south korea impersonates north korea in an insensitive manner! send post

[saturoslurper69]

alright you vultures here's your food

guy who idolized me *checks calendar* a year ago got his bubble popped when he realized all along he was an immature manchild to me.

in between the admissions hes paranoid and delusional, hes sending himself anonymous threats saying theyre from me. and people still buy it.

and now we got some new accusations under my belt. im jealous! im obsessive!

lmao. just lmao, your therapist or even worse your internet friends fucked with your head so hard you are Gone

i can sleep and hold, and love, a real man next to me, and i never had to settle on pretending id find a partner.

also, wasnt my main f/o for that fandom a woman? to the point ess and candide's ship was on google images? LOL

OH WAIT, in fact didnt a storyboard artist like my ship so much, and it fucked with you so bad you made vent art for it? hmm.

but IM jealous?? 2+2=5??

and wait didnt your lackey bark at me for thinking all this nonsense was over fandom shit? is it or isnt it? are you mad im an asshole or do you think im upset you....buy commissions? can y'all make up your mind on what we're upset over here? like im begging yall to realize the longer this drags on the more stupid and barrel scraping this shit is getting.

but its whatever, the cold truth, is the narrative of someone who physically disgusted me from day one to the point i had a sticky note over his pfp is hilarious, yeah bro ill get myself obsessed again when i eat some bad shrimp.

no really its very hard to look at when you cant get the time for anything about who you are unless my name is pulled, get a new gimmick.

-

and realistically, from the bottom of my heart, i do believe theres a third party sending these anons to fuck with us, to drag it on further. and hes giving them what they want because with this guy it is /guaranteed/ he will react and blow it out of proportion after all hes "like that" isnt he?

i know theres a cycle where I get asks I delete, then 2-3 days later, i get random shit in my inbox "are you going to doxx him? are you going to attack him? are you going to burn his crops!?" which triggers another scratch fight. of nothingness, nothing gets done. except what the people want, online adrenaline rush, clicking back and forth between our profiles shallow breathing whats gonna be posted next.

but even if its someone else sending these anons. i got a little file full of shit i never did since "was mean to me" didnt have enough oomph for a callout and frick frack and fuck comes out of the woodwork saying i called him a scammer or rigged him during an election idk, my comedic attittude about all this just emphasizes how much i dont care anymore.

but hey i can mark up the failed effort to get me kicked out of flight school and these anons i get talking about hurting my nephews and hoping my sister will overdose to him and his goons. fuck it why not. see how easy it is?

-

to state, amidst the chaos, i thought talking on a throwaway account, something i can do and do again nullified the purpose of ever needing anon. (i understand in saying this, could give the third party ideas, but i mean, the 3-4 online people i rarely talked to dont talk to me ever now so what else do you want from me, i dont know if this/these individual(s) are driven by some twisted moral standing or a sense of vigilantism but i promise, speaking from no place of emotion, youre doing more hurt to this guy fucking with him than you are making me worry about my online reputation)

i did Not use tumblr back then when any of this happened, not to mention anon hate has never been my style. im sorry but i have cooler ways to be a dick, you know this. i think its not hard to say "ess is loud, bold, aggressive, no filter, etc." at least acknowledge That as the truth and use it against me instead of whatever is happening here.

i went to his personal dms, fucked with his friends who tried to jump in, all using my name. i wasnt worried about people knowing it was me, i already knew it was too late and it didnt matter. trying to cover myself wouldnt have even been something i was concerned with because it was impossible. nor would i have cared really, at the time, i wanted everyone right then and there to know it was me and what i was doing, even on my main account i was going off.

this part i was trying to frantically explain, in a moment of vulnerability i will never Ever fucking allow myself to be put under again, it had been conveniently cropped out of the apology i sent to him. (yes, the one i took back, because if everyone hated it, bitched about me for not following the 10 commandments to an online apology and he genuinely didnt want it, why would i leave it up at that point. like seriously.

good thing i have the capacity to block, at this point its just a display over who needs that sweet online drama adrenaline for a sense fullfillment and who doesnt.

everyone in my life has told me "what can you do to him he hasnt done to himself" once i tell them the story and yeah....

yeah..

-

but yeah this message is for the keyboard squad but mainly for the fence sitters who stick by waiting for a conclusion or some form of closure. there isnt gonna be one. ive done all the work on my half creating better social spaces in real environments. i understand i wasnt great to someone. ONE. and ever since then ive been doing my work.

needless to say, im gonna parrot this, and say ive graduated flight school last month and ive found freelance work as a private aviatior, ive been talking to a therapist, am staying medicated, and ive built myself up and have become an active member in my community and will be looking into EMT training shortly so i can be a better street medic.

and im sorry, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, there are people who exist stuck in this time tunnel reliving the same day over and over. you can buzzword and slam your fists out of this and dig your heels in refusing the reality here, but ive wrote this understanding the audience this is talking too has no sense of rationality left. ive done my work, a fuckton of hard work after fucking up and hitting rock bottom and i cant let you nor your friend's inability to move on, doom me to being the same "evil" (that got a laugh from me) person.

im not scared of getting screenshotted, angry dms, anons, my posts analyzed with test tubes and beakers, take me to kiwifarms officer. this whole place could hate me and ill just go "youre all wrong, sorry"

in fact i dont even want an answer to any of these questions, this is just my final statement on the situation because im breaking this cycle. its not an 8 anymore, its a 0.

-

and as for the one which coat tailed this situation between me one and other person to try and dogpile the drama. our situation is entirely different from what happened here. like you can spread whatever narrative and half truths you need but you and i alone will only ever know the truth about what happened, and you can sleep on that. you have never been an afterthought to me outside of busting out laughing at a walmart whenever i see "anti-frizz" serum. i just hope you dont gotta go lay down after reading that.

[qualityempathshoebear]

Fuck and Fucked

Well then, a lot has happened, some good things some bad. Ill update you.

Lets start with the good first, i have my last exam tomorrow (geo and physics) and then I never have to see these fuckers again. Very exciting, right? I have to say that I am thankful that my last couple of week of school havent been hell -I mean, they werent enjoyable but definetly not hell. Severly awkward and uncomfortable, yes, but hellish? No. Im so grateful to the girl group that took me in and made verything more bearable. I wouldnt have gotten through it without them, thats for sure. I have actually laughed-cried a couple of times with them aswell. Theyre great people that deserve great things.

Onto the bad. Yesterday my mom called me before i got home to tell me to meet her in the downstairs bedroom/livingroom/study area. She told me my sister had complained about our dad to CPS and accused him of abuse. She is so dumb. He gets andry sometimes, but he is not abusive. Im honestly so stressed by all of this and I feel this panic and anxiety heaving at my chest. She is so stupid. Does she not understand that dad could be charged, and all of us could be removed from our family. She is so fucking selfish. I talked to her and told her to fix it and she said she would but the worst part is that she isnt even bothered or regretfull at all. She is risking our livelihood and reputation for absoluly nothing. Its dusgusting. My parents have completely given up on her and my dad isnt even angry at her, in fact he is so sick of her he hasnt spoken to her at all. If this goes forward, dad could lose his job and this abuse charge could go on his permenant record and then he cant get a job abroad and move. He (we) would be stuck here, as a criminal.

Im being nice to her now, to keep her in check, and insure that she fixes this. But after this is over, I highly doubt me or anyone else in the family will speak to her again, especially dad.

Despite my problems with my family, they are all i have left. If I lose this too, I will be truly alone, and I dont think I can handle that.

Ps. I know this is silly to say considering the circumstances, but the boy with the same name as that of a south American country (except spelled with a different first letter) stopped talking to me and unfollowed me from instgram a while ago.

Also another unrelated update, my dad started applying to jobs again so hopefully we can move, if this CPS thing gets resolved.

Edit: I just found out that she told her math teacher, who just so happens to be my form tutor, and I have to see him tomorrow morning and all I can do is pretend like I dont know that he knows. I honestly feel so defeated. I just want to die. Luckily, its just 1 more day. Just tomorrow, and then im done for good.

Much love!

[gibbearish]

actually i think a big part of the issue im having figuring myself out is just. fear of how others will react

[wavesmp3]

$:/$

[gumdecay]

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