#ill try other foods im much better abt it now

[boatemlag]

i like other food i swear i do i'm not one of those dinosaur nugget and pasta with butter autistics. power to them it's hard to have food sensory shit i get it. but subway is just always there for me. i do not care if it people dont like it. it's beautiful to me.

[princessmyriad]

.

[antiv3nom]

HAHAHA U ASKED AND I HAVE ANSWERED

can i haveeee like general headcanons AND bachira and isagis relationship haedcanons pls pls

U REALLY JUST RUSHED OVER HERE HUH???? FEEDING ME TODAY LMAO

ok ok ok im gonna do a few gen hcs and then under the cut ill put some bachisagi hcs <3

yukimiya doesn't really like coffee, he's more of a tea person! he's a big fan of black tea in particular, and likes getting london fogs when he can find a cafe that makes them

oliver is allergic to dogs, but not cats. he loves cats, but it does pain him that he can't pet any fluffy dogs without sneezing for hours afterwards :(

ness and kaiser dyed their hair together in one of their bathrooms (probably ness's, since kaiser likely didn't want to get dye all over the place in his), much to the chagrin of each of their families

kurona is really big into astronomy, and has memorized which constellations are visible at which time of year, and likes going out on clear nights and seeing what he can find in the sky

okay, onto the bachisagi!

starting with the basics, i hc that bachira is bi (another part of the reason he got bullied as a kid :((((() and isagi is ace but otherwise unlabeled atm, still working out his identities

for a while, when bachira wasnt sure if isagi was straight or not but had a small crush, he sort of talked himself down from it, trying to make sure he didnt get too attached in case isagi wasnt interested so he could keep their friendship. any type of relationship, even just platonic, would be better than no relationship, yk?

isagi, however, was MUCH less chill about the whole thing and. panicked about it. a lot. he was absolutely not able to act quite normal around bachira once he realized he might have feelings beyond friendship

isagi was actually the one that confessed first, but it was sort of an accident. it just slipped out while he was rambling?

this is the first romantic relationship that either of them have been in, so there's a LOT of fucking around and finding out, but the basis of friendship between the two of them means they have a lot of fun with each other along the way

their first date outside of blue lock was a picnic! bachira was the one who had the idea, but isagi was for sure the one that provided the food (he brought WAY too much, but hey, better to have too much than too little?)

isagi is still very easy to fluster, even later in the relationship. he still heats up a little every time he holds bachira's hand :]

bachira can, will, and has beat a bitch up for isagi, much to the latter's chagrin (ofc isagi would do the same but hes just a bit more death-glare-at-them than kick-their-ass about it)

anyways thats all for now, if any of yall want more abt specific topics with them just ask LMAO

[faunabel]

i took a nap! and my dream was long (well, not really) and complicated.

soo... dream journal time!

oh shit i dont know how to do the read more on mobile well pretend this has a read more and maybe if we imagine hard enough the tumblr gods will put one here

JK im on desktop later here's a read more

it involved me talking on discord to one of my mutuals ^-^ who i was nervous wanting to Impress. and they said england is hot and i was taken aback (sort of. more complicated than that but whatevs.) but also like u arent wrong. england is overhated these days i would maybe date or sleep with him is all im saying. i was speaking to a few diff mutuals on discord but especially excited/nervous to speak to this one.

blurry for a second.

and then a dog pounced on me. and this little old lady ran a training school i was for some reason in. but it was a Psychological training school meant to strengthen your mind apparently. it was popular in canada so i was excited one opened up down here for some reason. they had one where i used to live in florida so i was happy they had one in my new state, and with dream logic i'd moved 0.2 seconds ago so yknow. and the lady was training a lot of animals especially a dog and this one dog was not well trained so he bit onto my arm, and i stood there in horror for a few seconds, not wanting to move to do minimal damage, until she came and bitched at him for acting up, so he let go. and she was like yeah this is why i run a training school.

and her house was tiny so it was in her backyard. she had me follow her to the back where it looked like a dog park. all dirt and dust and equipment. no grass. i thought it looked nice in the dream altho now that im awake it looked pretty crap. but actually i thought it was nostalgic like playgrounds u go to as a kid. it looked like a dog park. also apparently she hammered in one of the rules for me. i forget what it was exactly but later she specified it was related to "the treadmills."

suddenly it was no longer me but a group of people who were all friend and who i identified as being friends with. but i myself was no longer there. and these people were eager to try out the equipment.

tw body horror for this part

pretty sure this is impossible irl but for one of them, this girl pushed her two friends down onto this sheet of barbed wire, and i guess what's supposed to happen is that it pierces your outer layer of skin, but she pushed way too hard and pierced many layers of skin. what you're supposed to do is pierce a few and pull yourself off. it hurts and builds your pain tolerance. the old lady was like oh shit i fixated so much on explaining how to be careful on the treadmills that i forgot this. and the people on the barbed wire were in pain slowly ripping through each layer of skin to minimize the damage. they accidentally leaned back in Pain so their arms also got attached but just the few outer layers so it only hurt a bit to pull them off. like stinging pin pricks. totally tolerable but still unpleasant.

the girl had been so excited btw she just shoved them down hard and didn't realize it would cause problems. i could feel the pain and fear of these people it was ouchie.

also i was trapped consciously. strapped down. unable to move unless i agonizingly ripped spiky metal through my skin all at once to get away. i have many nightmares abt being trapped lol.

then randomly the mlpfim ponies showed up. and they started triggering my severe emetophobia which i dont even wanna talk abt. it was more hinted at than anything but i was scared being trapped like that. also a common theme in my nightmares.

then fluttershy who felt Ill decided to go upstairs (we were suddenly in a basement but also not really bc the initial house had stairs too and was bigger and fancieron the inside than it seemed. that bitch had an aquarium against the wall. and fancy dark wood.) to make food for the others and herself to feel better. and since this dream was like a movie "i" the consciousness followed her upstairs to watch her. and she prepared something that had marshmallows on top i think.

and then i woke up.

also at some point the people strapped down were jeremy and candance from pnf i think. or timmys mom and dad. my brain smashed a bunch of junk together.

[alwastakenofc]

hmmmmm so ! lesser-than-before rant incoming :)

i’ve been playing this game on my phone for the last 3ish weeks bc i’m tryna get $80 from getting to “grand sultan” level thru this app that gives me games to download and rewards me for playing them/hitting checkpoints and stuff idk it’s rly cool but that’s besides the point ! so i figured i would Bounce after the month is up bc like it’s just a gimmicky pay-to-win kind of game where if u don’t keep up daily u fall behind, BUT there’s also a Huge player base for the game (which makes it fun but also gives it that rly insanely competitive edge that makes it hard to miss days without feeling like ur behind). so one of the things i had to do was join a union/guild where i am partnered up with ppl like the guild leader and co-leader and elites and others members ya know? and we can do quests and stuff and it just gives u a good boost to everything which obviously helps u level faster ! so i was like “hmmmm maybe ill make one…” but then i noticed ppl talking in the all chat saying how they’re not new, this is their 3rd, 4th, 5th+ server that they’re hopping on bc they wanna start over again, etc etc so i was like “…. nah im not making my own union LOL” so i ended up joining this one that had free slots and rly didn’t like the guy leading it bc he was kinda rude… so i left, changed my name/avatar, and DM’d the leader of this guild i had my eye on in the first place but was full at the time! they now had 1 space free and i had to wait 24 hours to join bc i just left my last guild… so she said she’d save the spot and BAM, i got in! we talked in DMs abt how i left my last guild bc No One except the leader talked and when he did it was to Demand things from us like “Everyone better donate 200 diamonds or else.” and stuff!! lmao

SO. fast forward to now. it’s been about 3 weeks in the guild and MANNNNNN IVE MADE A FEW FRIENDS, THEYRE ALL SO NICEEEEE 🥺 me and a couple other guild members were up til Midnight last night just talking abt life and where we wanna travel and our jobs and education and Everything !! it was so wholesome and nice and so just idk. pure and innocent and Fun to just have casual conversations with ppl that were complete strangers 2 weeks ago, but who ive gotten closer to and now can have those nice long convos with !! and it was all just in the guild chat so anyone could read the next day lol but idc ! it was fun! plus my name on the game is selene which is Not my real name lol i just like the name a lot and it always makes me giggle when they say “lol, i know right selene??” and stuff and im like heh.. yea, das me 😎 idk the guild leader gave me the “life of the party” tag and said she loves my energy and it just feels so good bc i know i am just so cripplingly socially anxious irl and that’s why i can talk so easily online and love talking online so much more. like im still ME, but… not Fully being perceived to a point where i feel uncomfy or anything LOL . it’s been nice

i think imma keep playing after the month is up, i rly enjoy my guild and the ppl ive met thru it :’)

ANYWAYS!! i also think im gonna go to therapy/go to my family doctor to get reccs on therapists and maybe a psychiatrist? psychologist? idk i wanna get evaluated for… well let’s just save that for when i get evaluated bc if i don’t even have anything wrong with me and my dumbass rly gets laughed out of the office by the doctor saying “LUL no u rly just gotta try harder bruh” imma feel like a damn Fool LMAO. BUT yeah. that’ll hopefully be a thing i book this month.

also gonna be responsible and Not over spend on food when i get paid, like delivery and whatnot… but i Will be buying lifetime subscriptions to a couple japanese apps on my phone that i think will be easy access and help me learn japanese to a point of comfortability before i start college again. 😎

OKAY IM DONE WHEW. rant over :)

[latestdreamgirl]

hi ......... fire bug rock + bonus for anyone for the pokemon ask game... im all ears

GRINS SO SO WIDELY. ILL DO DOOM FOR THESE <3 and this got. Super fucking long so ill put it under a readmore

[Fire]: Who’s the better chef between you and your f/o? Do you ever cook together? If so, what’s your favorite dish to make?

DOOM 100%. like i am perfectly fine at cooking ithink but. doom would be like Super fucking good at it i think and knows a Ton of fancy recipes- ALTHOUGH. he does usually just have personal chefs make his food for him ~_~ so i think really the only times he himself cooks is either: if hes out away from his castle/subjects for a prolonged period of time OR for VEERY special occasions for specific people

^^thinking of these panels specifically w these hcs

[Bug]: How do you comfort one another when you get scared? Is there any teasing involved?

OK SO. neither of us are really good at comforting people At All so when it comes to comforting eachother were both. pretty awkward with it the first few times... like doom would be Very out of his element if hes actively trying to comfort someone bc id imagine hes pretty used to just being. kindof dismissive of others if theyre upset LOL as for how he actually does it; i think hed just hold me until i calm down since he knows that wld probably work better than words :-]c and as for how id comfort doom that is. even more complicated bc doom wld like rather Die than ever ever admit hes scared of something SO. really all i could do (>.> and also probably all he would let me do) would just be being in the same room with him

^^guy who has so so so many issues.

[Rock]: What kinds of gifts do you get each other for your anniversaries/birthdays/etc?

doom would totally go ALL OUT on his gifts. like he gets me stupidly expensive stuff just be He Can; though he is still sending more personal stuff he knows id like :]c like buying me some super super expensive comic just bc he knows i like the character <3 ALSO i think hed like sending me flowers bc he prefers doing more traditional romantic gestures

mooore panels 2 go along w my hcs <3 now for the stuff id get him; id like making stuff for him myself since well. shopping for a guy who has the money to buy whatever the fuck he wants would be Super Goddamn Hard 💔 so id make him something like a bracelet orr just make a little trinket out of clay for him :3c ALSO !! this is just a sillay hc but i think doom likes plushies (although. this is another thing hed rather die than admit) so id give him one of my plushies ^__^ probably one that means alot to me aswell bc um. i think that wld be romantic ://]

doom plushie liker propaganda

[Bonus]: Construct a Pokemon team for you and construct one for your f/o (if they don't already have one!)

FUCK YESS I <3 THINKING UP POKEMON TEAMS.

ok so first up is dooms :3c he really strikes me as a guy whod like psychic pokemon bc of the whole. aliens gave him psychic powers once. situation LOL. then umm i think hed also take a liking to ghost pokemon :]c chose lampent specifically bc it reminds me of the aesthetics of castle doom <3 THENN i chose some steel pokemon bc he works w so much robotics stuff

NOW FOR MINE <3 trevenant, cottonee and muk i all chose bc theyre all from my fav pokemon team ive ever had (.i accidentally levelled up my cottonee from that run and i was SO pissed abt it) thenn the other 3 i chose w my s/i in mind :]c first off i had 2 give him spinarak bc not giving my spidey a spider pokemon wld b a CRIME; then chose venonat bc well. its just one of my fav bug pokemon n i wanted to give him another bug <3 ANND FINALLY. umbreon 2 match dooms espeon!!

[cantalooprat]

Quick Transmigrating into a Face-Slapping Demon

What I Liked

easy to consume easy to digest a v junk food sort of wn where i can just turn my brain off and enjoy some face-slapping

ml is unintentionally hilarious he's one-dimensional but i like that it's a constant across the worlds that he's always horny af

damn idk ig the ease of reading is this wn's main selling point? it's p mid otherwise

a good starter QT novel or even for danmei in general ig. it p much covers most of the classic tropes: face-slapping, op mc, op ml, dumbass antagonists, and also covers a lot of settings that r commonplace in danmei: entertainment, post-apocalypse, omegaverse, historical, fantasy, interstellar, etc etc.

the post-apocalypse arc is one of the better ones actually. i mean everyone still kisses mc's feet but ig the contrived angst makes it more emotional n also he dies asking for the ml to find him again in the next world which is <3

What I Disliked

the plagiarism in the... plagiarized singer arc lmao how the mc is "shameless enough not to care abt it" bro if ur so op im sure ur genius can come up w some original songs or at least come up w some excuse like "in my prev world i composed songs so i'll reuse them" but unfort this is a case of author not being creative enough to match up their op mc. dont compare to trashbin boyfriends i know i know but i can't help thinking chi xiaochi would nvr do that he wouldn't compromise the artistic integrity of the host

rly don't use brain to read this, once brain is used then it gets more frustrating than good

some arcs r rly. tbh i skipped some completely bc of lack of interest (the supermodel arc, the god/devotee arc) and some just make me eugh like the omegaverse arc personal opinion but i hate the "im not like other girls" trope esp when the "im not like other girls" doesn't even belong to the world n therefore is "the most dazzling omega, no other omega is like that" like well duh????? he's not even an omega he's not trapped in the shackles of the society built around the second sex???? ofc he's "not like other omegas"!!!

no i dont think that kissing as a method to identify the ml is romantic. my aversion to kissing anyone other than ml aside, it's just rude to the often-wrongly-identified guy n also kinda sad if the wrong dude actually sort of likes mc as well, imagine getting kissed n then told "nah ur not the right guy sorry" 💀

Notes

"quickly wear the face of the devil" is not how the title is supposed to be tl-ed 💀💀💀

can kind of understand how this n tbbf get compared a lot bc the main story beats r p similar: world-hopping, trying to get back to "reality", mc seeking just one person through his journey, but that's rly just surface comparisons (biased opinion tbbf is way better)

damn i havent actually finished this i think i have like 2-3 arcs left???? but ive come so far ill just post this now n edit it later if i ever finish it (230614)

[zwei-rhunen]

Squeenix why do u do dis to me D:

Someone tell the lalafells that there's an untapped market to be had! Level 35-48 jewelry is the latest trend!

A once in a lifetime gil-gathering endeaver for your local, aspiring venture capitalist!!!!

.... in other news, I've been prepping myself for jewelery-crafting shenangians, which means clearing out my inventory LOL

But I got too invested and this time I took the time to research alot of the stuff that I've been hanging onto, and it turns out they're really easy to get later if i really wanted them back.

Most of it was either crafting materials (i thought they were turn-in tokens bc they looked special) or they were things that were fairly inexpensive to buy off other people if I wamted to do that in the future. I'd kept alot of things bc I wasn't as familiar with the UI/the game as i am now back when I tried downsizing in the past. Like I'd hold onto alot of junk bc for example, I'd research about this cool shiny item. and it'd start out so innocently lol.

I'd be like,

"oh I can use this to craft neat gear! Well I'll hold onto it bc i want to do that soon"

but then itd quickly spiral into

"oh, well I need a master crafting tome of X level, and to get that I need to collect these things. Okay that's doable. But wait, to do THAT, I first need to level up these 2 jobs so i can craft/gather the ingredients, alright.. (goes to level up the jobs) ...oh. i don't even have access to the zone that I need to collect those materials in, so then ACTUALLY I need to do the MSQ up to THIS point. Damn, thats kinda devastating bc I just spent all this time leveling lmao. Well, I got this far and i dont want to just toss these items, so ill just hang onto them for now

And then eventually I forgot about the details related to those items, but I remember how let down I felt while dealing with them so i just put it off and eventually they blurred into the clutter of the other stuff going on in my inv/I got invested into other goals lol

But now I've gotten better at asking the right things like "is this item rare? Where is it dropped? What is it used for, is it for crafting or a token or smth else? Also, does an NPC vendor ask for this in return for something cool? Could i buy this item on the MB later on?"

Whereas before, I'd just be like "okay. what can i use this for?? " And then I wouldn't see any crafting use for it, so I'd just toss it, and then 10 mins later id go to Mor Dhona and realize DANG IT was a TOKEN, i coulda traded that for smth interesting!! And it seems like a PITA for me to get again 😭 .....so thus began my hoarding :)

can't regret what you don't discard! lmfaooo

Also said screw it and sold off most of my food bc I realized by the time I worked thru all those edibles, id probably have a sub and would be able to buy HQ food really easily. Like, I'd been holding onto the food from when I had brute-force-leveled CUL to 50, and I'm still gonna have like ~200 hours worth of exp lmao.

I also actually, seriously reviewed the differences in food stats for once in my life (this deserves so much praise tbh bc I do not care for their details as long as I'm getting the exp buff lmao) and realized my level 15 HQ food is useless to hang onto bc my lvl 40 normal foods are still way better, and all this other info that's probably common knowledge lmao (and ik i CAN get more efficient with this if I prioritized food with stats that align with which jobs I'm gonna main for now but um. this is far as I care to go into the weeds with food details for now lmaooo like... no. stop thats too much to worry abt for me 😭😂😂 i mean like, i know (i think i know?) Strength and determination for tank, spell speed/piety for casters, skill speed for dps bc it just sounds like it makes sense lol. So like ill half-assedly try and pick the best stat buff food but its not really smth tht im overly concerned abt atm tbh. Maybe later at a higher level but for now everything seems to be okay without needing to suffer over the details)

So I sold off a buncha stuff off to an NPC and now i have a whole page and a half of space. I'm so excited!

I also reviewed the clutter in my chocobo sidebags and finally traded in the ancient gear drops to Rowena and sold off some faded maps that i realized are really common and can get again later lol

I'd have more space but i think I can use those few items up in the short term so it's just a waiting game for moar space uwu

But, yeah!!

✨️ A page and a half of inventory!! ✨️

I haven't had this much space ever since probably the MIDDLE of doing the main 2.0 MSQ!! xD

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

lily best milf ever SO TRUE!!!! & i did see theinvisiblemuseum's art its SO good i love their art sm.

tay time! closure, out of the woods, & clean <3

and omg pink lemonade! i loved that fic it was so good. (im trying to get my fic rec for u but AO3 IS DOWN RN. UNBELIEVABLE!! ill have one for next time i promise)

chatting time <3

having a pic of a pigeon as a souvenir from a trip is pretty funny tbh. imagine travelling across the world and the only thing u brought back was a single photo of a kinda-ugly bird.

podg ben & dune timmy❤️ im so excited for the next dune film purely for more scenes editors can use for reg. like yes i like the dune series but im a simple woman. i have priorities.

medium well on an exam is better than medium bad !! i think its a cause to celebrate. also i hate it when everyones talking about the answers they got and u got something completely different. i start panicking so bad.

we truly did win the bff lottery. get urself a friend who brings u food in the rain and dances in the kitchen to jazz with u or threatens to send u to a mental hospital. theyre rare.

tbh kentucky seems like the kind of place to have colonel sanders just everywhere. thats their pride and joy he must be displayed. i bet they have tons of kfcs too.

L & E AND L & B FTW!!! so real. and u have a marriage pact? thats so cool. liv has a long term bf so we dont but if i asked her to she might leave him so. i did have a marriage pact with another good friend but she moved away </3

and omg i hate condescending people sm. they piss me off so much like STOP UR NOT BETTER THAN ME!! especially if shes asking if u know what a computer processor is like girl who cares there are bigger things to worry about i promise.

LIKEAFUNERALL'S XENO>>>>> pandora was winning fr.

gary oldman and timmy in the same video = literal jumpscare. and yes ive seen that pic of ben & andrew and i literally cried. i thought it was edited at first but it wasnt and i cried . #wolfstar

a hozier concert would fix me and i truly believe that. also my entire tiktok fyp is just edits with work song now?? like how does it know we were talking abt that song on here. i fear tiktok is spying on me .

and omfg. i have seen the jesus/judas edits. at first they were really funny like why are people making jesus fancams.....but then they got like actually kinda sad and i felt bad for jesus. like sorry u had shitty friends man . i promise ur really popular nowadays </3

i swear harry is being americanized. he spends so much time there hes forgotten his roots and that the rest of the world exists. like why does he need to do several shows in la or nyc when he can travel elsewhere !!

i dont trust people who dont scream cruel summer ESPECIALLY "he looks up grinning like a devil" like its a scream-or-nothing situation.

piss & gladiators <3 sorry rome but its true. maybe i can fit something else in there. rome, the eternal city of piss , pickpockets, and gladiators.

u should totally give them detentions. abuse ur power. especially if theyre making u late to exams?? so rude of them tbh.

i hate being full named sm. luckily im the one who full names liv and not the other way around so i can live in peace <3

im always seeing art with lil baby harry calling remus his uncle moony and it KILLS me every time. :((

also omg "dumpydumpster"..... fuck that old man fr.

book lovers>anyone else!!!! i cant imagine being with someone who doesnt know who remus lupin is its just not happening.

yes chess!!! every time i play i channel all my beth harmon from queens gambit energy. even if i lose it doesnt matter im still slaying.

u know putting down an answer for every question on ur exam is all that matters !! its better than nothing and i live by that.

annotating books for each other>>> i had a friend and her and her gf annotated sappho's poetry for each other. it was so fucking sweet i wanted to cry.

and hozier writing a song abt u?? literally my cause of death. get urself someone who will write a beautiful song abt u <3

i wanna go to portugal so bad. i looked up the sanctuary of our lady fatima and it looks so peaceful <3 i love old churches tbh they always have such a nice calming vibe. and omg algarve?? that looks SO NICE!!! i need to be at a beach there rn. and all the food sounds so good. im so hungry now.

oh what id give to have james' no-hangover power......that should be me.

the ship name moonwater kills me cause like why are we using reg's cause of death😭 give him a break !!!!!

omg secondary house slytherin!! welcome <3 & the only reason i have so many patronuses is cause i was unsatisfied with the first few so i retook the test a bunch LOL. i figured raven was good enough so i left it at that.

dairy queen <3

"ex gifted kid now try hard" SO TRUE!!!! why cant things just be easy now .

omg timmy tim at the oscars! if i see two timmys this year ill know whats up.

american chocolate is SO GROSS like i know canada has a lot of american chocolate too but at least we have SOME european chocolate thats actually good.

sadly the snow is pretty much gone :( it rained and now its just mush. bad day for snowmen enjoyers.

wait thats so funny to have a taller georgie i love it. and a shorter clown thats hilarious id laugh so hard

killing barty is so funny to me. like yes i like him but yes he absolutely deserves it.

ill make liv get that tattoo even if its the last thing i do idc.

hoarding nail polish and lipstick> so real of u. my nail polish collection is way too excessive and some colours are just Not it. like girl why do u need 3 different browns theyre so ugly.

that quote kills me every time i read it ( i had to read that play for a class and it was like a slap in the face fr.)

mskingbean knows whats up. and omg yes little women references<3333 they take me out every time i read them.

seeing seth rogen & john mulaney was really weird but u know whats weirder? seeingf the entire riverdale main cast walk by only for a literal train of teenage girls run after them. im not kidding it was so funny.

humpty dumpty party mix is a such a funny name ur so right actually. it even has a little humpty dumpty egg guy on the bag i love it <3

omg lover being ur first dance song <3 its the perfect song for that fr. but yes rep is perfect for when ur needing to feel like a criminal !!

fr seeing the parthenon changed my life. i need to go back or ill perish.

i think harry would be proud if he knew i came out to his song tbh. but lu figuring u out? SO REAL. liv already had her suspicions and after the crying told me i radiate "potent bisexual energy" so.

r(edge) 4ever idc. it just sounds sm better.

AHAHA va fa napoli kinda is a swear, it doesnt actually have a bad meaning but it basically sounds like "vaffanculo" which means basically "fuck you" or "go to hell". & omg wanting to learn swedish for young royals MOOD!! i took french throughout all of primary school and im still shit so. bad canadian over here

ur qs

being a gold digger is so real of u. i support this endeavor.

lily evans is such marriage material its not even funny!!!!!

SIX LANGUAGES!!!!! THATS SO COOL!!!!! we got the rosetta stone over here people. i had a friend who was gonna teach me some hindi but she moved away

topaz obsidian & amethyst <33 all so cool.

u should totally watch it, its so good. the last episode where that quote was from was genuinely the most heartbreaking and beautiful episodes of television ive ever watched like ever. it was so good.

forests <333 love myself a nice lil sun dappled forest with woodland creatures wandering about. tbh where i live u can visit all 3 at the same time so i could never pick just one.

omg a hairdresser i love that. im actually my own hairdresser (ie i dont wanna pay for a professional so i just cut and dye it myself) i wanted to be a makeup artist but that dream didnt last long.

wait cancer thats actually cool. i dont think many people know much about how it works & biology is so fascinating sometimes. and yesss ofc platonic soulmates <333 we dont have time for superficial friends!!!

timmy and louis <3 (get louis away from grandma STAT!!!!) ofc flo and zendaya. excellent choices.

*gasps in spotify user* okay but to be fair apple music & spotify are like nearly identical at this point. i only use spotify cause i dont wanna move all my music to apple music itd take way too long.

i love canis major sm. and draco too its such a cool looking constellation.

AWW i love that sm. cant believe he danced better than u thats hilarious. he came to slay and to slay ONLY!!! and the toaster gift? thats so funny and sweet. i hope hes ready to slay again at the next wedding🕺

omg wingstop i want so bad too. they make it sound so good and i need to try it before it die. and omg birria tacos are SO good. highly recommend.

answering qs

ive got a few topics actually: the life of agrippina the younger (emperor nero's mother) and her rise and fall to power; the sociopolitical role of a woman in sparta versus athens; lord of the rings as a whole; the tragedy of star wars and the themes of hope and rebellion. oh and space! i love space and astronomy sm.

worst advice ive ever given: i accidentally helped someone get rejected💀 it was the guy who liked me on and off during high school, he liked this other girl for a bit and asked me what he should do, so i told him to be honest with her and tell her how he feels or else nothing will ever happen between them, so he did and she turned him down for being too forward. oops! at least hes not into women anymore.

worst advice ive taken: tbh ive got no idea. i can be a very paranoid person so when people give me advice i take extra care to think it through so ig ive managed to avoid shitty advice.

which element id be: bismuth bc its symbol is Bi <3 and its rainbow and cool. gay element fr.

undercover spy name: this is so lame but if we're going along the james bond theme id go with 008 cause my fav number is 8.

savoury or sweet: savoury forever. i love sweet stuff but its easy to get sick of it if u have too much.

fav friend: phoebe!! also monica but only bc im a clean freak like her & i also love to cook.

3 wishes: gimme a couple million dollars, the power to stop racism/homophobia, and an endless supply of pasta and im a happy girl.

how long id last in a zombie apocalypse: id like to imagine id be absolutely killing it out there but id probably freak out and die like right away. id at least try and be the best doomsday prepper i could possibly be but i cant even drive so i dont think im lasting long

fav stone: opal! biased bc its october's birthstone but its so pretty. i also love emerald cause thats my fav colour. also malachite. very pretty colour.

fav constellation: scorpio (again, biased. but its cool looking), canis major, leo, & lupus. i cant choose just one.

weirdest dream: i once dreamt that i had lunch with anne hathaway?? it was just a normal lunch. i think i had like mac and cheese or something. i woke up very confused.

worst dream: i once dreamt that i got pregnant and my mom kicked me out & when i woke up all i wanted to know was who the father was tbh.

best dream: i once dreamt that i was living my normal life but my soulmate was there and it was great. except they didnt have a face cause idk who my soulmate is but at least i got to have a dream about it.

timmy or ben: timmy. i love ben but timmy will always be it for me. lil timmy tim girl since day one💪

movie food: popcorn for sure but also reese's! sometimes gummy worms if they have them.

last text i sent: i told one of my friends to watch lockwood & co. on netflix. v fun lil ghost hunting show based on a book series, highly recommend!

last text i got: one of my old roommates said "im always thinking about morbius" like okay girl!

phone calls or text messages: text messages!! phone calls make me so anxious. text messages at least give u time to think of a response if ur anxious. phone calls are merciless and will expose ur antisocialness.

greek tragedy hero: i got achilles. not sure how i feel abt that but okay! (omg u got orpheus thats the best possible answer imo!!)

fav meme: idk if i have one specific fav meme but dumb tiktok humour gets me a lot. back in the day old vine humour was hilarious to me (def mostly cringey now but oh so nostalgic)

qs for u!

whats something on ur bucketlist?

do u have any hobbies?

fav app on ur phone?

least fav icks?

what would u do if u won the lottery?

do u believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

where can someone find u at a party?

go-to karaoke song?

whats the craziest thing youve ever done in the name of love?

if u had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would u pick?

early bird or night owl?

if u were stranded on an island, what 3 objects would u bring with u?

unpopular marauders opinion?

what would u do if u were the last person on earth?

fav number?

fuck marry kill: james, reg, lily.

whats one language u wish u were fluent in?

thats all for now <3

(also i realized these are always SO long & im prob clogging up ur page with my rambling so if u ever want me to stop just lemme know!!!)

-bee

hi hey hello bee :)))))

THEIR ART IS LEGITIMATELY TOP NOTCH IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD.

tay tay -

closure - JEGULUS - listen , I think it's literally James after they break up. like to me it's him 'seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain' I can so so so imagine that being him to Regulus after a long day and all he can feel is PAIN.

out of the woods - JEGULUS - claiming this song especially for my jegulus , but to me it screams of a pair of people (James and regulus) absolutely in love and one of them (regulus) trying so so hard not to be , but 'the monsters turned out to be just trees' and 'when the sun came up you were looking at me' - so so so them.

clean - LILY - ok at first I WAS thinking jegulus , but then I listened and I was like 'Lily Evans' like can you imagine???? her after finally telling Snape to fuck the fuck off , and feeling so much pain , but then one morning waking up and finally being 'clean' (side note - I forgot that u existed is also for them)

SKSKSK I haven't finished it yet - reading mental by sara_holmes - a legilmency drarry fic in which a miscast spell makes them hear each other's thoughts. ( also no. 'tis not okay. execute you.)

chatting :))))) -

pigeons are motherfuckin ugly and I would NEVER waste my camera storage on them. I'd literally rather take a picture of a rubbish bin. hate those pesky arse bastards.

YES YES YES oh my god I'm so excited for dune 2. it has Timmy , zendaya , Flo - literally a bisexual's DREAM cast (and also Austin butler??? I think???) can't wait to go there with the old lu and fucking watch every second ( he fell asleep in the last one.)

I celebrated by getting brownies !!!! nah , honestly when they do that , I'm all like 'keep ur gob shut u mf lepers' they have no common decency like DUDE can you let me fail in peace ???

kitchen jazz , walking through the ran and threats to go to the mental hospital <3333 how lucky we are :))))

they should have a colonel sanders statue like the one of Jesus in Brazil. like , I've said this before , but no one would KNOW Kentucky if not for kfc. and horses , I think. kfc and horses.

lelblelblelb !!! that's so rude of her she should break up with him immediately. pronto. see lu hasn't had a girlfriend in the entire time I've known him. so I'm thinking he'll still be a loner at 40. I might not be. (jk we both won't be. he'll find some girl and I'll find someone too!!! (said depressed because I haven't yet found someone) )

nah she's a bitch for real. but she's pretty. but she's a bitch. girl fuck your RAM and your motherboards. and there are so many bigger things to worry about. like global warming or whatever.

IK IK IK I LOVE HER XENO SO SO MUCH !!!! pandora was winning fr fr. (as was he. both are equally lucky to have each other)

I KNOW THAT MOMENT REALLY MADE IT FOR THE WOLFSTAR SHIPPERS !!!!!! like damn we made it happen. I just fuckin know it (so did we with the Timmy x Gary thing. like they for sure knew.)

hozier literally HEALS my soul. like he (and lu) are the only men ever <33 I think I'd be in fuckin tears if I ever went to a concert. (also same??? I got like three videos of Canadian glow coins ???)

Jesus/judas - nah I saw one of the Great War nd I fr was feeling for JESUS. like bro knew it was judas and he didn't say anything and ,,,, tragic (listen it may be blasphemous but I can so see like a Jesus/judas style marauders au. like it's so blasphemous. but it would be so good.)

BOY FORGOT HIS ROOTS. HE FORGOT THAT IT WAS US BRITS THAT GAVE HIM HIS CLAIM TO FAME. WITHOUT US HE'D NEVER 'GO AMERICA' THAT LITTLE BASTARD.

IT'S YOUUUU SHAPE OF YOUR BODY IS BLUEEE FEELING I GOT IS OOOOOH WOAH WOAH IT'S A CRUEEEL SUMMER (gotta go throw rocks at someone's window fr fr and have him look up 'grinning like a devil' like DAMN.)

piss , pickpockets & gladiators <333 London is the city of pigeons , rain and red buses. what's yours up there in canada??

I TOOK AWAY HOUSEPOINTS. IF THEY DO IT TOMORROW IT'S A LUNCH TIME DETENTION FOR THEM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THOSE LIL BITCHES. full respect to the ones that keep out my way , love them.

it's so cool u can full name liv , because it's the other way round for me. like in a fully LOUD voice he full names me and I'm like 'fuck okay this shit serious'

and about lil harry and uncle moony I found this canary u might like (ac: letraspal)

I hate dumpydumpster so much. how dare u hurt my boy harry like that. (u bet I'm going to take it out on him in doa)

yes how am I supposed to be with u if u don't read. how are we supposed to keep each other silent company u don't fuckin read. and and remus lupin is god how can someone not know him.

CHESSSSS. I LOVE THE VIBES AND I'M GOING TO LEARN I SWEAR. and queen's gambit energy slays whether u win or lose. just saying.

except when the question is some astronomical shit and all u can think of is - damn. gonna pull a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and go for '42'.

ANNOTATING SAPPHO'S POETRY FOR EACH OTHER??? THAT'S SO SWEET AND ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC THINGS TO EXISTS EVER ???? I WISH THEM NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND I HOPE THEY GET MARRIED FR FR.

ahhhh Fatima is my safe space.( and yes old churches on top. but there's an abandoned church like three streets away and it's like a horror movie style church. literally abandoned. posters from the war or some shit it's scary fr fr) and ALGARVEEEE algarve is home home. (the food is top-notch so I get u so hard) !!!

no same because hangovers are the reason Lucifer fell from heaven like wtf ???? (although lu does have a hangover cure , and if I'm the drunk one and he makes it I'm always at least 50% better. he a real one for that.)

THIS. EXACTLY. like moonseeker? at least do that?? give my boy a break okay like damn.

yes exactly like u better not stick me with shit like mole or rat or something u best believe I'm retaking that test. (thank u I feel welcomed indeed. but careful because I'm still a brave at heart.)

I want to go Dairy Queen.and wingstop. ESPECIALLY. wingstop.

got them chills from tmt like that song HITS HITS.

Timmy Tim and Tim Timmy <333

european chocolate is the only chocolate that should exist. ban American chocolates. (also cannot believed they banned kinder eggs. like wtf dude???)

that's annoying as fuck I hate when that happens. sue the sky.

EXACTLYYYY OH MY GOD. a taller Georgie and a shorter it and it was fucking hilarious. everyone complimented us and we were so proud!!!

yes like I like him in fics in canon he go fuck himself into the deep pits of the nether worlds.

YES, U DO THAT , I DO LU AND WE WILL CONVERGE AT THIS POINT WHEN WE SUCCEED.

I would just burst into tears. straight up.

mskingbean oh how I love her. lw references have my heart (literally going to write one in chapter 13. so excited.)

who the fuck would run after them. if it was me I'd be running away.

I WANT TO GO THERE. I WILL ONE DAY. ONE DAY JUST U WAIT.

nah that sounds like such a fun cute lil snack I love that shit.

harry would love that for u. liz and lu know what's up , they got their bisexual best friends , and now they're allied as fuck.

glad it's a semi-swear. that's so fun omg. also I also took French in primary and secondary and I still cannot speak more than 'je ma pellet' (not correct but u get it). Lu's a fluent frenchie though , so I always got him to do my French hw , and I'd do his English. fair exchanges , that way .

GOLD DIGGER STYLES !!!!!!

LILY EVANS THE WOMAN THAT SHE IS <3333333

THANK U I LOVE BEING MULTILINGUAL !!!! also why everyone of urs moving away. that's kinda sad. (I teach u Hindi. then u can watch Bollywood movies which HIT.)

OKAY OKAY I HEAR U I SEE U I'LL WATCH.

yes like picnics in the forests with little bunnies running around in the sun aahhhhh. (also not being able to pick is so fuckin real of u. like I get that so hard.)

I too am my own hairdresser ( I lied because I tried then just called lu to do it for me so TECHNICALLY he's my hairdresser but I digress) I'm gonna be honest here. glad u moved away from the make up artist dream because no way would I be paying 500£ for facial makeup like girl damn does that shit come with a free diamond necklace or something ???

I know I know I moan about it tonnes but bio and them are my THINGS. and oncology + cancer has always been a bit of an interesting thing to me. very cool to learn about . (and yes!! we take only diamonds of friends !!!)

GET LOUIS AWAY FROM GRANDMA. and straight to me. I could treat him right. ( all jokes I have one louis already (that's lu right there.) however I might abandon my louis for that louis !!!

Apple Music is just BETTER. sorry , bee , I shall never use Spotify. Apple Music is like the HD version of Spotify.

Canis Major (especially the alpha star wink wink) & Draco stay winning I love them so so much.

he SLAYED. he slays always he's so good at dancing makes me jealous fr. and yes a toaster , and I told him not to bother but he did. which , admittedly , very sweet of him.

one day many years in the future I shall brave America just for the wingstop. (now I want to eat those birria tacos so bad like god come in my mouth rn bbs.)

reviewing ur q's <333 -

THIS ALL SOUNDS SO INTERESTING ??? I AM SIMPLY IN AWE ???? also yess yess yess space and astronomy forever like looking through a telescope being there being real and just so .... ethereal. love that for us ex-astronomy bitches.

nah bro got done so bad he switched to the other side. now I wanna know if he's still getting done bad by the men. but u did what u had to , and it's really just his fault.

avoiding shitty advice like YESS YESSS DAMNNNNN I wish I could do the same.

bismuth for bi is so real. bisexuals for the winnnnn. I'd be polonium because I want to be a poison. dangerous as fuck.

008 sounds so cool , but 007 has a ring to it. like it just does. idk what I'd be. 007 is my go to. so double oh seven it is.

no literally I can never get tired of savoury stuff , but I can of sweet things. like no one ever gets it , but I'm absolutely right. (brownies are the only exception to this rule)

Phoebe and Monica !!!! my baes I love them so much !!! my favourite friend is joey. I aspire to be a loveable slut too <33

a couple MILLION???? I'd be shooting for the billions ??? bad one bee. endless pasta yesssss as u should !!! (and yes so noble of u to stop the world problems. such a good person !!!! )

nah same I'd be killing myself before any clown kills me. or I'd be like Eddie , survive till the second movie then die on the cusp of happiness.

OPALS ARE SO PRETTY THEY'RE LIKE MADE OF PARADISE I SWEAR. and I fucking love emeralds and malachite (idk what the last one is but I'm trying)

YESSS SCORPIO IS SO PRETTY TOO!!! Canis Major also a win yessss. and Leo. ahhhh reggie I love u . but not as much as sirius. but I love u. AND LUPUS OMG (makes note of sirius telling remus about his very own star)

idk what you're talking about having lunch with Anne Hathaway is perfectly normal. and Mac and cheese with the queen of Genova ??? stay winning girl , love that for u and ur funny little brain.

nah because same. I had a whole ass baby with someone , beautiful and blonde and it was a cute lil baby boy and I was such a happy mother then I woke up and I was sad ???? like bro u were never a mother LET IT GO !!! pregnancy dreams are weird as fuck. especially when u dk who the father was.

ahhh yess having your soulmate by your side yessss I love. I've had so many dreams but I never know who the person is. like reveal yourself heathen so I can find u and kiss you on the mouth.

yes ben barnes hits but not as hard as Timmy Tim Tim.

this movie food sounds lovely. once I took a whole steak too the movies. + Yorkshire puddings. (but its okay because cinemas here don't have ushers. ) and people around us were eating shit like fucking lobster. like idk what we were on but that movie everyone was eating high cuisine. (but I love a good box of smarties , nachos + gummy worms myself. ALSO THE RAZZLE DAZZLE CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. THE WHITE ONES.)

ooooh interesting. I've actually seen some ads for that shit , adding to my list rn. (my own last text was 'can I be the banker today' and u can very well guess who it was to)

yes girl ! go ! to therapy !! (the last text I got was 'YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING THE BANKER. FUCK NO. I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF. )

no yes I so get this because same. there's literally only one person I'd ever phone call/ FaceTime (lu) and I'm on ft with him now (he's not being neglected it's like a mutual study session where I study and he studies and also makes sure I'm studying.

achilles ! wow idk how to feel about that myself. u better not lose your lover or else you will literally raze the earth. (and I better not lose mine or I'll lose them again)

no same there are so many good memes idk how to choose it's way too hard. this one is my favourite-

my q's !!! -

getting married and having a family. I know I know some people will say 'not very feminist' (fuck them feminism is about choice) and dw CAREER is still on top. but I know I'm going to do that shit. I want that true love type of thing. the kind where you look at someone and go 'yes. you. you're the one.' that kind. damn this shit got me sentimental as fuck. and I really just want that happily ever after with my person and I want to have a family too. AND A CAREER. but I'd do that on my own too. u get me ??

eating brownies. and baking brownies. and jazz dancing. but brownies and jazz. and also , obviously reading and writing !!!

probably Tumblr. everyone is so chill here I love it.

are u asking about my idk ?? like the one thing that a potential date or someone would do to turn me off immediately ??? I'll answer it like u are hold on. when he's a mummy's boy. (and I've had this experience specifically with a boy). like oh my mum doesn't like it when u do that. my mum doesn't want me to do that. my mum would do that for me why don't u. idk motherfucker maybe because I'm not your mum????? the fuck ??? go date her then ????

world trip with my best friend and buy a huge giant mansion and fucking have the time of my life. and donate to charity and stuff , obviously.

near the window next to the snack table eating a cracker and holding a can of coke and chatting to lu. (if sober) // if not sober then on top of lu piggy back style trying to unscrew the light bulb and saying it's too hot but getting cheered on also by the unsober crowd. true story. happens weirdly often ?? but I always ask for piggy-backs when drunk it's like ... a thing.

*coughs* *brushes lint off of jacket* *coughs again* I CAN'T LOVE YOUUUUU IN THE DARRRRRKKKKK I FEEEEEL LIKE WE'RE OCEANSSSSSS APARTTTTT.

hmmm. going to go for platonic soulmatism (sorry to anyone I've dated. I just haven't crazy things for u. u were nice though. some of u that is.) I put itching powder in the uniform of a guy on the rival hockey team (he'd fouled lu and he was all taunty and shit and I had it in my pockets only because we'd passed by a partica shop and I had to go inside to buy shit for a party and I was like 'damn itching powder this is fun'). rest be assured Lu's team did indeed win. (the guy had rashes on his face next time I saw him , which , not my fault because that's not where I put the itching powder ??)

speaking. I can write notes , I can hear music , I can see my peoples. I don't mind never talking again.

night owl. I love getting my shit done late and staying up till like late then going to bed and refusing to wake up ever. this is also another reason I get full-named by lu sometimes. he literally has had to wake me up by throwing shit at my window before.

Swiss army knife , first aid kit , and lu. if people are not allowed , then I say phone. call for emergency and shit. or if people aren't counted , then I say monopoly. maybe the imminent cause of death will make him let me be the banker.

listen this is very unpopular but -it's not misogynistic if people say 'lily potter' instead of 'Lily Evans' . like that was her name. people are fully allowed to call her that??? it's not unfeminist to take your husband's last name , and someone should tell them that. (not talking about when she isn't married to James or when she's younger. ) but u get what I mean. like let people live damn she is a potter. at least in canon.

kill myself. very simple. but I'd need lu at the very least. can't live on the earth without the best friend (very sirius x James . except sirius did live without James....) I'd straight up kill myself if he died. very dramatic , I know. but we go down together !

3. u might have seen the reblog on my blog of this number going everywhere. but 3 is very dear to me. I think I really hate 2 though. like that bitch can go die in a ditch somewhere. '23' is a close second (hello I was born on the 23rd)

fuck lily marry James kill reg. sorry reg but I'm pulling the 'they're good people' thing. but I still love you. but I love them more.

hmm. I do wish I was fluent in French. I think I'd love to understand half the shit lu keeps saying to me. and maybe I'd've got a better grade in my French exams in secondary school !

q's for uuuu -

are you a mirrorball or this is me trying ?

drarry or dramione (feel ashamed to ask but I feel like I should )?

one ship has to go - jily or regulus ?

wolf star or jegulus ?

craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love ?

craziest thing someone's done in the name of love for you?

funniest story you have ?

craziest rumour you've ever heard ?

bitchiest thing someone has ever said ?

harry or Hermione ?

dramione or romaine (again , obvious answer , but I still want to ask )?

(AND NEVER STOP RAMBLING !!!! I LIVE FOR THE RAMBLES!!! THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY DEAR TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. come back soon bee I will miss u too much <33)

[blue-reimu]

messy ramble under cut about life lately. allusions to neglect included but i didnt rlly go indepth, this is pretty much just me being happy about stuff lmao

i moved out of my house recently and wow outside world is kinda wild ngl . in a good waay. i get to eat food other than tinned soup and im allowed to leave my house and i actually see people . going to the store is so fun and makes me so happy even if literally all i do is walk around (tho sometimes the everything makes me dissociate- usually it's only tesco this gets really bad with though idk why?? maybe just cause it's bright and theres lots of people and the music and all of it combined just makes me check out). i can also shower pretty much whenever i need or even want to so ive been doing that way more regularly than i used to in the past and that's pretty great !

also i got a new coat recently at a charity shop and it is probably one of my best financial decisions lately, it's got lots of pockets and it's really comfy and i have a really weird thing where sometimes i dont like not wearing at least one clothing piece thats the colour blue and this coat is blue :)) and since i dont need to wash coats as often as other clothing pieces and it isnt one of those fluffy ones specialised in warming you up ive been wearing it literally everywhere every day and not worrying about the colour of what i have available being an issue. it's really nice kind of teal blue as well with mustard yellow accents on things like the zippers and inside, it's super cool looking im very enthused abt it!!

ive also been able to try new foods!! and coffee that isnt just hot water with plain granules. im finding i really like caramel macchiatos. ive also added prawns to my list of favourite foods because i seem to like them in literally everything i try them in and actively go looking to eat them. my parents were always against me eating a lot of specific seafoods, so ive not had them until now. i also like oreos and banoffee cake. to at least some extent i think im starting to really like food in general, even if i still struggle to eat sometimes. back at my parents house it was hard or sometimes seemingly impossible to find food to eat that wasnt just tinned or processed, but now i get other stuff and it's really nice!

and im going to uni and being able to learn things in a formal environment again is so nice, i never liked school but the way uni works suits me much better ngl. note taking then doing my own research + assignments about a specific thing i enjoy feels much better than how school goes about things. inevitably theres gonna be some stress but for now im enjoying myself. :] theyre also gonna be helping me get support for my disability + mental illness stuff so yay

related, im finally gonna be able to see a doctor! and get checked for.. uhh so many things honestly. and im hopefully getting proper counselling eventually and prooobably more therapy if im honest.

also funny but i got called hot by 2 people today based on a silly online thing and also went through my fifty millionth experience of "are you really a girl???" (context i am AFAB but my voice is incredibly deep and masculine and it always, ALWAYS catches people off guard online when they hear it LMFAO). vc'd with a friend for the first time and he literally had to tell me he needed a moment, he was that shocked apparently. i just sat there politely trying not to laugh lmao and regarding my earlier talking about food, today my sister bought me a coconut frappe and strawberry and cream cheesecake and i really liked those too. ^^ and i sat in the coffee shop we got them from eating them and someone came to sit with me, and we didnt really talk and i was a little nervous but it was nice anyway

today was good overall. i liked living, i liked myself in fact. feelin confident and stuff right now. life is getting better in a lot of ways in general.

this is probably even more messy than i thought it would be but i just wanted to dump my excitement here pfft

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[and--you-are-weightless]

8/19/22

okay. i gotta get serious abt losing weight again. like its getting back to the point i feel uncomfortable in some of my clothes again, especially my bras. so im gonna start doing nightly journal entries taking abt what i ate today, any exercise i did, how i felt, and what my plans for the next day are. if i count calories or purge ill put that here too.

ill start them all w the date and tag them all "#shellys day" so u can black list that if u want. i know i havent reblogged pics in a while but ive just been in such an awful binging cycle and also getting most of my th1nspo from insta lately

anyway

today was really bad. i went to work decided on panda express for lunch. i always get kung pao chicken (290), chow mein (510), and some crab rangoons (190), so for lunch i had about 1,000 calories. it wasnt even very good and even tho i was full half way through i ate the whole thing anyway cuz im a disgusting pig. i spend the rest of my shift at work wishing i had got some poke instead so naturally even tho i wasnt hungry i stopped and got poke after work. i have no idea how many calories are in it, i at least get the poke salad option so theres just lettuce instead of rice but it was still way too much and again even tho i was full half way thru i made myself eat the rest. i also got some fried rice balls cuz im a fucking cow and decided to really make myself feel worse than i already did. after i ate i just laid down and kept feeling worse and worse til i went to throw up like maybe an hour or an hour and a half after eating. i still have two rice balls left i really want before i go to bed. i dont have any more easy high calorie foods left in the house other than the cookies my dad made but hopefully hell give those away to friends before i binge on them. im gonna try to do better tomorrow. im gonna go to the gym with my dad in the morning if i can make myself get up in time. im also supposed to see one of my partners tomorrow evening and he always orders taco bell super later at night so i know ill end up eating something there but if i can have a little discipline itll be the only thing i eat tomorrow. then starting saturday night after whatever i eat w my partner im gonna start a 36 hour fast. im gonna allow liquid calories but nothing crazy, just its ok to put a little creamer in my coffee or a spoon of sugar in my tea i mean. if i mess up im gonna restart til i make it thru the fast. once i make it thru im gonna go back on a low-carb diet and focus on protein and veggies again. carbs are always my downfall. once i start on pasta and potatos and bread and sugar i always ruin my diet and start binging on everything. maybe ill make more balerina soup again. idk but im gonna fix this. my current achievable goal is to lose 20 lbs by december. if i can lose about 2 lbs a week i can do that. i just gotta focus and stop binging. i can let myself have a cheat day every now and then when im w my friends or a partner but i have to stop rewarding myself with food and overeating when im depressed.

[vldkeith]

Do you have any tips on how to be a better writer? I remember what you said about food to describe skin and I was wondering what else would make writing look bad

i wouldn't rlly say that comparing poc's skin to food is just Bad Writing--it has a patently racist connotation & past, so it's not the name thing as "stop saying 'said' so much in your writing!" or rhetoric like that--but i might have some tips! ill just be general abt writing and not necessarily touch on genuinely problematic aspects of it, since i think, despite ur mention of the food thing, that that is what ur wanting fjkghsk

under the cut bc this is too long lol soz

1. said is actually not dead! if ur still in middle/high school, and you're in a class that involves creative writing in any capacity, u have heard this. it's bullshit. well, mostly bullshit. if your entire story consists only of characters "saying" things ("I hate you," she said. "I hate you too," he said"), though, then that's bad writing and it's quite boring to read, so i think that's where teachers are getting it. but seriously, it sounds just as amateurish if you don't use "said" at all; people aren't saying things in a particular way all the time, sometimes they're just saying them! use something other than "said" when u want to emphasize smth--other than that, it's fine.

2. sometimes telling and not showing is okay if you do it in a unique way. like, you should still try to "show" more than just stating something, but tbh if you can make the telling it entertaining--like, for example, injecting character voice into the narration, or even your own--then i don't think there's a problem.

3. please stop making characters randomly switch languages/do your research before writing a bilingual character. i won't speak on this much, bc english is my native language and ive made these mistakes before, but other ppl have said it better than me. plz read!

4. pay attention to what tense you are writing in. adult writers still do this--stop it! it's disorienting and marks u as an amateur if u can't keep your tenses straight. i know it's hard but plz gjskfhjgsd just do a pass through before posting i beg you

5. u rlly don't need to describe what people are wearing all the time i promise gjkfdhgks especially if ur writing fanfiction. we know the character's it's good

6. use adverbs carefully. i am of the opinion that they are fine, which many writers disagree with, but they can be overused and become annoying. so just make sure it's the best way u can describe something, or even just that it flows nicely within the rest of your writing :)

7. if you want to emphasize something, describe it thoroughly! instead of saying "the blue cloth is important," talk about it's silky quality, that the blue reminds people of the ocean, how soft it feels, etc etc. this is partly just basic "show don't tell" advice but a bit more specific; readers will pick up on something that u describe with detail and understand that it means something, so it's quite useful!

okay that's it for now bc im tired but i hope this helps! lmk if you wanted tips on how not to be harmful instead gsfkdghjsk

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[littlebabycrybtch]

oh my god but remember when ‘pro recovery’ btiches entire schtick basically was just shaming ppl into taking showers. HOW did we let it end like that like thats the funniest most childish entitled privileged baby shit i could have ever imagined out of any activist space and yall just fell for it n took it seriously as Shit. ‘responsible allies’ but hygiene and therapy was ALL you entitled ableist bastards ever complained abt!! the least consequential one and the most expensive/inaccessible one!!! like!!!! you ppl literally didnt know what u were doing and didnt care how Actually Helpful your goals were, you were venting!! so you just kept throwing mockery at ppl for not living up to your standards and acted like u were fuckin psychiatrists, it was inexcusably selfish and ignorant behavior tbh and ill stand by that forever. ‘tough love’ mentality and tumblr phds have done 1000x more damage than good for us.

like bro i cannot Believe i had to witness mentally ill and sick/disabled ppl who were lucky to get food in that day or pay their bills, trying to explain that being told en masse how disgusting their behavior is (yknow, specifically the behaviors that happen to be the most visible and uncharming to others, while yall remained all but ignoring other behaviors you could have actually helped with) isnt beneficial for their recovery, and getting exploited in the ableist internet cringe clout corners if they tried to say showers arent rly a matter of survival compared to the realer shit they really could be doing to self help, makes it even harder. like they tried over and over again to make it click that sometimes they fall behind literally OUT OF an immense effort towards self help and that should be recognized instead of ppl hyperfocusing on a restricted idea of whatever pretty little pattern ALL recover is supposed to follow.... but no smfhhhh ppl just plugged their ears while the ppl this movement was Designed to Help were trying to out the flaws and show exactly whats wrong with its focus, which was failing to a point that it goes against what it claims to be. there was this tunnel vision obsession with reaching the ‘end of recovery’ like thats a real thing in every situation, and p much all symptoms were demonized as if recovery doesnt START AT SICK... and then faketivists trying to validate their judgments in ways that very blatantly arent in the best interest of others bc they wont even Listen to them just responded like ‘but its not my fault if im uncofmortable on a bus around some1 smelly :/// itd be good for you (and me) to fix that first! ik whats best for u ok ur wittle brain is too broken to have an opinion on this, ngl its kinda cringe lol i can smell ur post from here ew get it together weirdo. but get better soon uwu’ and neurotypicals/abled ppl listened to your ass!!! they let you convince them that matters most and now they cringe on us more than ever so thanksx you fuckkin modern heroes but uhm anyways people drop the r word constantly now where you are whiny brats these days LMFAO,,,,, idk man maybe just try thinking of saying ableist slurs and disrespecting nd/disabled ppl as like, having a stinky ugly un deodorized personality 😲omggg so embarassing ew cringe we should all mob together to do smth abt that immediately gross gross ewww

[dolphin-enthusiast]

bună seara, dragă mea 🌹🌜✨ ahh i hope i wrote that correctly,, another romanian friend of mine taught me that haha, he teaches me romanian phrases in exchange for me teaching him bits of italian ☀ ah, so much to address no? well, i'll just start off by saying i wasn't expecting my friend to expose my problems like that,, i'm not mad at all, just surprised. let me first say that i am okay as of writing this. i have eaten and hydrated and have been taking naps all day, i am stable. (1/9)

"my older brother and other siblings have been taking good care of me, and two of my friends came to sneak me out of the house for a bit and bought me food. so i am fairly calm right now (2/9)

now then, about that person, it was just some texts i woke up to that caught me off guard, my friends are apparently planning to go after this person, even though i insisted on not making this a big deal, and frankly i didn't wanna worry you all either, i feel bad when i do. (3/9)

sadly i hear a lot of horrid things directed at me on a daily basis, so this is quite ordinary and there's not much i can do about it, i cope by trying to stay positive for others and be as kind/loving as i can since i usually don't have people to treat me that way, you're quite the exception, what i thought of as a stupid question blossomed into something i could never imagine, and i was shocked to see how everyone, including you, took to me quite quickly (and not in a joking way either) (4?/9)

i'm not used to it at all, so i mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that everything you guys say and do means the world to me, i get overwhelmed with positive emotion when you all treat me so sweetly, i truly couldn't ask for anything more. that being said, i wasn't planning to open up about my mental health on this account (since i don't wanna talk about these dark subjects when trying to brighten other's days),, (5/9)

but i guess it's warranted now so hopefully you all can understand me better and not worry as much, i suffer from multiple mental illnesses, two different depressive disorders, an anxiety disorder, and body dysmorphia, some from genetics and others from trauma. i try to keep it on the down-low to not bring down anyone's moods, so i be as cheerful as i can. i'm professionally treated for it, so please don't fret. it really went downhill during the start of this pandemic and declined since (6/9)

i was absolutely miserable, and having dealt with many s*icid*l tendencies, self hatred, and lots of destructive habits, i was truly falling apart my sister introduced me to your blog sometime in january, and even though i did not have a tumblr, i still greatly enjoyed checking it everyday with her and requesting things from time to time, it's a nice escape from the world i live in, and after months of checking your blog, i decided to interact a bit more with that silly ask of mine. (7/9)

it really is a miracle that we formed such a bond, it's truly the best thing to have happened this year, i love having such a meaningful connection and getting to experience some positivity everyday i am completely serious when i say that you and the followers give me something to look forward to everyday, and you all have helped me to stay a little longer on this planet. i owe you all so much for that, so i still plan on popping up everyday to cheer you all up,, (8/9)

i could never thank you all enough, you all truly do mean the world to me 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 i can't wait to come back tomorrow with something more lighthearted, so please keep being extraordinary, because i'd hate to lose connection with any of you - from the bottom of my heart and soul, with much love, your local waifu xoxo 💘 ps: i can't wait to hopefully meet someday morgy darling, there's lots i'd love to do, so that's another reason for me to stay alive a little longer 💞 (9/9)"

Dear this is quite alot so i'll just start by saying that im flattered u greeted me in romanian😳✌️ i dont wanna pull a ghiaccio but although dragă does exist in this context it would be more like "bună seara dragA mea" but it really doesnt matter bc my wig is snatched and i was n o t expecting this ddhxhddj

Trivial matters aside, you shouldnt feel pressured into opening up on here even though some things surfaced but you did it nonetheless and im proud of u bc i myself would rather y e e t than talk abt myself and personal issues🤡🤡🤡 but aNywAyS let me start off by saying that again, you shouldnt get used to horrid things being said to u. Its fucking tragic that u get treated like this meanwhile all u do is be kind and care for others, but them treating u like that is entirely THEIR fault and u should never feel guilty for it. And keep telling others if shit happens (including us if u want) since we're all gonna do some good ol' as whooping @ the ppl that talk shit😤👋

I wont reveal much but just so you know i completely understand what you're going through and felt what you described in ur letter on a spiritual level, although i know just saying "i relate" doesnt really help. Its unfortunate and unfair ur goin thru this and yes i agree the pandemic did only worsen things (even for myself) and its really shitty🗿🗿im glad u at least had siblings that took care of u and made sure u felt better in no time doe

As always seeing u say that me and my blog cheered u up and motivated u to go on truly is smth like...w o w i never expected any of this to have such a major impact on anyone when i first made this blog as half of a joke lmao hdhxxhdj but im glad it helped u and other ppl so that means i'll just have to keep on running it😳😳😳 you really dont have to thank us for anything since we enjoy brightening up ur day and i have to ageee it IS a miracle how all of this came to be but thats exactly why its goddamn wig snatching ahsydjdkf

Also bro to say u have another reason to stay alive just to meet me....😞😞 Take care of urself bro