Just Not this time..
Pairing: Ran Haitani x reader
genre: Pure angst, like literal pure sadness and angst at the end, not a good ending ig?
warning: Cursing, sex talk in between but hardly few lines. ANGST, heartbreak, tragic.
P.S: Surprisingly the longest fic i have ever written, i mean im surprised myself you know, but hope yall enjoy it!!
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"Ran can you please listen to me just this once??"
You yelled as Ran continued fiddling with things in the kitchen, ignoring you.
You were yet in another argument with Ran regarding his activities surrounding tenjiku and some 'revival of the s-62 generation'. You were obviously aware about his status in Roppongi alongside his brother and his delinquent activities, but for the past few months, he and his brother were obsessing over some 'tenjiku' and 'izana', which you had a bad feeling about, as you tried to convince your boyfriend to back out of this just this once.
You had met Ran when you were both in high school. You were a pretty decent kid with great scores and was a part of the student council, while Ran and Rindou were obviously infamous for their 'activities', hardly attending any classes.
One day, you had arrived in the school as usual, greeting your friends, when you noticed the dual colored braided man, making you realise that he did in fact exist and was your classmate. Not your fault that he hardly appeared in front of you, making you almost forget he was in fact a person. He was sat on a chair, his legs over the table, crossed, as a person in glasses, who you assumed was his brother had pulled a nearby chair and sat next to him chatting.
"Damn I forgot they even existed.." You murmured towards your friends, as they giggled, gossiping about those two, while you joined in on their bitching. Soon as the teacher arrived, you all went to your assigned seats, as you saw the glasses guy leave the room, while the braided guy lazily stood up and greeted, a blank disinterested stare present in his face. As you were preparing for a lesson, your teacher called out, "(Name), since Haitani san has attended his class after a long period of time, could you maybe share your notes to him?"
You looked up at your teacher in confusion, as your gaze flickered towards the braided boy for a second as you saw him roll his eyes, before his gaze landed on you. You awkwardly pursed your lips, as you then looked at your teacher, "Sure Sensei, i don't mind."
The day went normal as usual, before the bell rung, indicating it was time for recess, as students scrambled outside the door, you closed your book, greeting your teacher back, before remembering you had to give your notes to your classmate. As you turned around, you saw Ran removing a messily packed up lunch in a packet, his eyes droopy, as if he had just woken up from a slumber, as you walked towards him. "Here" You say, as you held out the notes in front of him. He first glanced at the notes and then at you in a displeased blank expression, before his gaze returning towards the notes and then to his food, as he lazily munched.
"No thanks. I'm good." Ran said, ignoring you, as he flopped his legs on the table as his hand held his lunch, "I ain't interested."
"You sure? Cuz Sensei asked me-" "Listen, i don't give a damn about this nor about you, so why don't you go back and leave me alone?"
Your eye twitched, as irritaion started building up inside me, as you stared at him bemused. What a jackass. "Jeez.. So much for trying to help out..." you say as you roll your eyes, turning around, as you walked towards your bench, slamming your bag upon the bench before putting your notes in, as your best friend tried to calm me down.
"The fuck does he think he is? Prime Minister of Japan?" you angrily murmured, as your friends tried to calm you down.
What you didn't realise was that your classmate had heard it, as he raised his eyebrows amused, before casually walking towards you, "Awww did i make Ms.Nerdy Pants upset?" He taunted, a mocking smile on his face, while you clenched your fist, your eyebrows raised at his audacity, "How about Mr. Hoshposh mind his own buisness since he doesnt need anybody's help and thinks he's better than everyone." you retorted, making the former chuckle.
"I don't think you know me that well miss."
"Not my fault you hardly attend classes, making me forget you actually existed."
By now, the whole class was watching, whispers and murmurs exchanged , as your friend held you back by holding your arm.
"Oh yeah? How about you ask your friends who exactly I am. Maybe you'll figure out and something will go inside that small brain of yours." Ran said, leaning towards you, slightly bending as you were way shorter than he was, your head reaching his shoulders, him towering over you.
You did know who he was. Who in their right minds would not know the delinquent kings of Roppongi. But you were raised to not take shit from anyone unnecessarily, no matter who it was. Honestly, you were kind of intimidated, due to his stature and reputation, but you did muster up courage, as you took a deep breath, calming yourself down as to not act irrationally, before speaking up.
"I do know who you are, but that doesn't mean you can talk to me like that. You need to keep your attitude in check." Everyone murmured, as some of your friends gasped, while your best friend tugged at you to stop. Ran raised his brow, as he looked at you head to toe, before his one hand rested on his hip, his smile not leaving his face, "I need to keep my attitude in check? How about you mind that attitude of yours in front of me? or do you want me to help you with that?"
"Just cuz you're some delinquent, doesn't mean you'll scare me as well. I give whatever I recieve. You talk to me nicely and i return the favor. Simple as that. Or do you want me to write this in written and give it to you in notes as well?"
At this point, your best friend was just pulling you to the other side of the earth, while you realised that you might've fucked up a bit by the sass at the end and that now the goddamn Haitanis are gonna be out for your blood. But you still stood your ground. Might as well finish it if it has been started.
Ran now looked at you, his smile not present, as he tilted his head, silently staring at you, before straightening up, as he started twirling one of his braids with one hand, while the other rested on his hip, before giving you a closed eye smile, "Guess I do have to change that attitude of yours."
Yep, you're in deep shit.
Just then, the glasses guy from earlier came in the class, before looking at the braided guy and walking towards him, his eyebrow raised in slight confusion, his face in a blank stare, as he walked towards the braided guy, "What's going on here Aniki? Who's this chick?" He asked as he looked between you both questioningly.
"Nothing Rindou." Ran said, his close eyed smile returning, as he turned around and started walking, Rindou following him casually, "Just someone who needs to know their place."
The fuck?
You were goddamn pissed but you knew if you went any further, you might as well get murdered now, since you already signed your death warrant by messing with him.
As the school got over, you were walking back home. It was an everyday routine as usual, nothing out of the ordinary, before you felt the hair on your arm stand up, goosebumps wrecking your body, as you felt like you were being followed. You slightly turned your head back to glance slightly, spotting a suspicious man walking behind you at quite a distance. You then started walking faster, trying to dial up your friend's number in your Nokia phone, but apparently luck did not like favoring you. You purposely took turns, which confirmed your suspicions as the man took the same turns as well, making you walk faster, as you mentally prepared to defend yourself, trying to figure out ways to fight back since you didn't have anything on you except for your schoolbag.
After a while you realised that there was no one around you, making you panic as you turned around only to find the man closing up on you, suddenly starting to run, making you run as well, as you cursed.
You ran, trying to outrun him, but he unfortunately was faster, as he caught up with you before pulling you by your hand and covering your mouth. He seemed to be around 20s, wearing a discrete hoodie, as he tried making you still, while you violently tried breaking free from him. You kicked him hard in the nuts, making his grip falter from you, as you broke free and punched his face before making a run for it. As you ran, you realised he was chasing you.
You were running among the streets before hearing some noises, enlightening some glimmer of hope within you, as you desperately tried running towards the source. Soon you spotted an old small rundown shop alongside a few figures standing beside it, making you run towards them for help. As you inched closer, the more your heart fell out of your ass, as you realised that it was none other than the Haitani brothers standing there and hanging out, as Ran was sitting sideways on his bike, facing Rindou who was sat straight on another bike, but his whole body leaning against it.
You were stuck in both the cases, but you'd rather face them than being stuck with that creep, as you ran towards them.
Ran noticed some hurried footsteps approaching them, as he looked towards the source, his impassive expression covered in confusion as he realised it was you, the chick earlier from the day, trying to test him. Rindou looked towards where Ran was looking, mirroring Ran's expression.
As you neared towards them, you slid an arm under Ran's, as you smiled widely as fake as possible, "OH MY GOD BABE HELP ME!"
Both the brothers raised their eyebrows questioningly. Ran for a second thought if you were one of those girls who crave for his attention, when he noticed you gesturing him with your eyes with the most widest, most fake grin he had seen in a while, towards a man standing just few inches from them, still in fear.
"Babe, this man has been chasing me. He just wouldn't stop following me." You said, holding his arm tightly, gesturing him to please, for the love of god, go along with your facade, Ran figured out in few seconds what was going on as soon as he laid his eyes on the man, but he looked at you amusingly, as you widened your eyes, pleading him to just go along with it, making him smirk at you.
On seeing his smirk, you had thought that now you're just fucked and that he's gonna hand you over to that creep in a silver platter, before being surprised, as you saw Ran's smirk drop into a cold frown as his gaze turned from you towards the man.
The man who was quivering in fear, had now fallen to his knees as begged for mercy, while you stood there shocked at the behaviour.
"The fuck am i hearing? You chasing my girlfriend?" Ran said coldly, making shivers pass down your spine as well, as you realised why he was the king of Roppongi, and one of the notorious delinquents in Tokyo.
"IM SORRY BOSS I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!" The man yelled, whimpering, as your mouth went agape at his pathetic state.
"Can you believe this man's audacity to go after my girlfriend of all the things? Mine?"
"He's got some nerve Aniki. He should be taught a lesson." Rindou joined in, as he straightened up, still sitting on his bike as he now turned and watched the scene in amusement.
"Hey Baby." Ran said, facing towards you, catching you off guard, as you looked at him confused, "Ye-yea?" You felt his arms snake around you, making you give him a strained smile. This asshole. But you went along with it.
"How do you wanna punish him? Do you want me to make it quick or slow and torturous? Your wish is my command."
Your eyes widened at his question as you glanced between the men, but again creeps like this should be beaten to hell. "Anyhow you wanna make it babe, just make sure to give him hell."
Ran smirked, before removing his hold from you and walking towards him, removing something from his pocket, before extending it. You looked confused before realising it was a whole ass baton.
Ran started beating the shit out of the creep, as you stood by the side, watching in horror, while Rindou chuckled, amused at the scene. You did feel immense satisfaction at watching the creep getting beaten up, but even you had limits, as you at times shielded your eyes. After a whole session of getting beaten up, Ran asked the creep to fuck off, making him scramble away in terror.
Ran casually walked towards you, as he wiped the blood off his baton with a part of his shirt, while you stood mouth agape, before realising you were alone with them, making you stand further from them.
"Uhh thanks for the help. Appreciate it a lot honestly but i gotta go now."
"Aww doll, are you gonna run away from me, your boyfriend?"
I gritted my teeth, as i gave him a taunting smile, to which he returned the same, "That's enough. I appreciate your help very much, but can we not discuss this further."
"Aww but babe we just met after a long day, and you're one feisty one you know, seeing that you hit the man straight in the part where the sun doesn't shine."
My eyes widened as Ran smirked, "What? Didn't think I'd notice that man limping when you came right in my arms?"
"But again I do have a thing for feisty ones you know?" Ran said, making you have a look of disgust, before walking away blankly.
The next day, when you came to school, you were surprised to see Ran in your class, as he noticed you walking in, making him give you a closed eye smile, as he waved at you, "Awww here you are (NAME), nice to see you today."
You looked at him confused and irritated, as your friends gave you questioning glances.
Soon, almost everyday, you were pestered by the older Haitani in the school, whether its in the recess, or asking for some notes, or poking you with his pencil or throwing balls of paper at you in the middle of the class, making you lecture him outside after school. It soon led to him starting to pester you while walking home as well, as you tried to tell him to buzz of or to leave you alone, but failing miserably.
After school, you were sitting in your classroom, doing your work, when you noticed someone open the door of the classroom and walk next to you, making you glance at the individual, before rolling your eyes. You just weren't in the mood.You kept silent as you continued doing your work, as Ran casually slid a chair next to you and flopped his legs on a bench, gazing at you with a bored look.
"You're not your usual self today." Ran stated, making you scoff, "And how is that supposed to bother you?" You retorted.
"Its not fun as it usually is, since the fodder is not acting as its supposed to."
"Listen I'm literally not in the mood for our pestering, so take this somewhere else, and leave me alone."
There were some moments of silence, as you started thinking that had you managed to officially piss him off, before you heard him speak, "You're being too harsh on yourself. You're overworking. You're feeling as if you're not doing enough."
Your eyes widened, before slamming your hands against the desk, "Oh now you wanna sit here and judge me?" you asked furiously, as Ran's bored expression didn't falter, "Of course I'm judging you. You're acting stupid."
You felt rage building inside you hearing his words.
"Oh yea? Then why don't you tell me what's not stupid."
"By taking care of yourself."
You were taken aback as you heard his words, while he gazed upon you with a neutral expression.
"You feel you're not good enough, you want to prove to others that you're good enough, you're working yourself, but in reality you're just destroying yourself. Tell me, is this what you like to do? Is this what you really want to do in life?"
You stayed silent for a few seconds, both of you basking in silence for few minutes. You stared at your notes blankly before you saw some wet droplets on the book. You were crying. Your tears fell through your eyes, as you silently cried, your shoulders slightly shaking, as Ran gazed at you. You realised he did say the truth. You were scared that your vulnerable side was being exposed to him of all people. But you were glad that he understood you and gave you the space you required in the form of silence. That evening, you two walked home, as you awkwardly fidgeted beside him.
"Sorry.." I muttered, making his attention being caught.
"Dont worry about it."
Since that day, you started accepting him, your trust enfolding in him, as you both started hanging out together more often. You started sharing your snacks to him giving you rides back home on his motorcycle. More and more, you two got closer, as you slowly started seeing each other's real sides. Soon you started hanging out with him after school, alongside realising what actually his reputation is. Despite being a delinquent, your respect for him grew as you got to know the more vulnerable side of him, his time raising up Rindou all on his own, when the kids of his age were supposed to play in parks. You were also officially introduced to Rindou as well, surprisingly getting along, making a part of Ran pleased that you were on good terms with his brother.
After months, with no surprise, you two caught feelings for each other, as Ran was the first one to take the step, leading to you following him. The news of you two dating, had spread like wildfire much to your dismay, as it was like a roller coaster of chaos and frenzy, much to Ran's amusement. You would scold him for PDA, while Ran would pester you, sometimes making Rindou mimic gagging voices, leading to you to diffuse the fight between the brothers.
Even though Ran was among the most infamous delinquents, you did have him in your hold. One moment he would be the intimidating Roppongi king, while the next moment he would look like a kicked puppy when you scold him for eating too much sweets.
Soon enough, you were the first one to blurt out the first 'i love you' which made you cover your mouth, as you were patching up Ran's wounds, while he looked at you wide eyed like a deer in headlights, before you felt him wrap his arms around you and whisper the same three words repeatedly in your ear.
You were so happy. In fact the happiest.
Then what went wrong....
"Ran I've never meddled in those delinquent activities of yours. Heck even when you were in jail, i would still visit you and Rindou. But please can you just listen to me?? just this once?? Please don't get involved with this 'tenjiku'"
"(NAME) these are my friends, and we have got this covered. I don't get what you are so frustrated about. You're starting to irritate me."
"I'M IRRITATING YOU??? CAN YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE GODDAMN TIME??"
"Baby listen to me, You're just overreacting."
"How am i overreacting Ran?? You're planning to fight one of the biggest gangs in Tokyo"
"And we are the S-62 generation. We are much better and experienced than them. I know how to deal with those Toman people."
"Its not about you dealing or having the strength to fight them Ran. I can't see you in jail or something like before. I can't handle it-"
"THEN YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE BEING WITH ME THEN." Ran exclaimed, his tone getting louder.
You stood there mouth agape, as your boyfriend had turned around, an irritated look on his face.
You stuttered, "HO-HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT??" DON'T YOU SEE THAT I'M JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU?? ARE YOU THIS STUPID TO UNDERSTAND AND LET YOUR EGO IN THE WAY??"
"AND HOW MANY TIMES AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT I CAN HANDLE IT?? OR IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND? STOP MEDDLING IN MY BUSINESS."
"RAN I CAN'T WATCH YOU GET INTO SHIT AGAIN. I CAN'T. I'M BEGGING YOU TO BACK OUT OF THIS JUST THIS ONCE. I JUST DON'T THINK ITS GONNA END WELL"
"(NAME) ITS ALREADY DECIDED. I WONT DO IT. DON'T YOU GET IT?? THIS IS MY GOAL. TO RESTORE THE ERA OF S-62. TO BRING BACK THE OLD GLORY. TO BECOME THE LARGEST CRIMINAL GROUP JAPAN HAS EVER SEEN! I CANNOT AND WILL NOT BETRAY MY FRIENDS!!"
You stood there as tears had welled up in your eyes, as Ran had yelled at you as red was filled in his eyes.
You stood silent for a few moments before meekly speaking up, "So does that mean you'd betray me?..."
Ran looked down, his jaw clenched, before turning, raising his head up, the cold impassive expression painted on his face which he always puts on in front of his gang members, "If it means reaching the goal I've always yearned of....then yes..."
You both stood in silence staring at each other, before you scoffed, breaking your gaze and looking towards the ground, "I can't." You murmured, "I can't. I just can't. I can't let myself be hurt anymore. I can't make myself suffer through this anymore. I'm tired of being hurt. I just can't do it anymore."
"Then maybe you should leave."
You noticed your tears falling on the carpet of the apartment, as you were scared to look at the man in front of you, but your gaze flickered nonetheless, only to find his hands on the table, but the serious cold expression on his face.
You looked up the ceiling, trying to control your tears before storming inside your shared bedroom and packing your things, sniffles escaping you, as you felt the coldness of the room hit you. You felt your heart shattering into pieces, but you couldn't let yourself go through the hurt again. You really did try to keep up with him. You really did. But you just can't. You were too tired. You were tired of being helpless and hurt. He couldn't understand your point. He couldn't understand you like before. He was too obsessed with it. Its too much. He was moving much further into the dark side. You did try holding out your hand towards him, but he kept swatting it away. You cannot let yourself fall in the darkness, this black pit as well.
You finished packing your bag, as you headed out, as you saw your 'ex' boyfriend stand with his back turned to you, his hands crossed, leaning against the kitchen table. He made no attempt to stop you.
That hurt.
As you reached to the door knob, you halted, not turning back, as you closed your eyes, "I really hope you know i was just trying to help. Please Ran...please..."
You stood in a quiet silence before you heard him speak,
"Goodbye (NAME)."
You took a painful deep breath, as slight whimpers left you, "Then do me one last favor before its a goodbye."
Ran stayed quiet,as you continued,
"Don't you ever come in front of me again...I cannot see what you will become after this...It'll just hurt me more. I can't see you like that.. I love you too much for that."
You didn't wait for his response before you left the apartment, slamming the door on the way out. As you walked down the stairs and onto the streets, you could feel the cold winds blow against your face, before you felt your soul shatter as you broke down in the middle of the street, thankfully no one there to see you in such state, as you sobbed. You sobbed till there were no tears as you felt yourself break at every tear that spilt on the ground. After a while, there were no tears to spill, as you felt yourself going numb, before standing up, your tear stained face mirroring a blank expression, as you aimlessly walked down the street before reaching to your own apartment.
As you slammed the door on the way out, Ran internally winced at the impact. He stood still before taking a painful deep breath as he ran his hands through his face, before feeling wet pool up in his eyes, as he painfully exhaled, a feeling he had last experienced when he was a young kid, and experiencing it after a long time at 19. It had been years since he felt such despair or pain, as he felt his heart heavy, hurting deeply, but he still maintained his composure, burying his face against his hands, leaning against the table. He realised he had lost you. He realised it as soon as you both started arguing. He was clever and mature in that way. He stayed like this for some time, trying to gain his composure, before straightening himself up and continuing his work. He had a goal to fulfill. He had chosen this path, of regaining Tenjiku's glory back, of conquering Japan along with his friends, and to make Tenjiku the biggest criminal syndicate Japan has ever seen. He had his life purpose to fulfill. He wasn't going to let anyone get in his way.
Years passed.
Ran was leaning against his car, as his left hand smoked a cigarette, wrapped around the neck of some chick who was entertaining him for the night, while his right hand held his phone to his right ear, listening to his brother talking about the next debriefing and base plans. He hummed in acknowledgement as he played with the girl's hair in the meantime who was giggling like a schoolgirl next to him.
He had changed in almost every way. He became more fashionable. He started wearing suits more often, rings adorning his fingers. He had changed his long hair from blonde and black to short purple and black fodder haircut, his short strands of hair falling on his face, while a black and white tattoo adorned on his neck, near his adam's apple.
It had been years since Tenjiku had lost against Toman, losing Izana and later on Mucho in the process. But then the Kanto Manji gang was formed, its leader being Manjiro Sano, the former leader of Toman, while him and his brother, along with some of his friends and acquaintances being the executives. Soon led the formation of Bonten, the largest and most dangerous criminal syndicate in the whole of Japan, which he was now an honorary top executive of. Since he was part of yakuza, obviously he gained more build and stature, along with rich money, skills and access to weapons and being part of dealings. He was known for his charisma, ensuring to seal in the deals with no hitch. He would often have one night stands with many girls, and owned numerous clubs in Japan, Roppongi being his main center.
As him and this chick walked down the streets, heading towards some hotel room for the night, before he realised he had forgot protection back at his mansion, making him internally curse, as he asked the chick if she was on birth control, to which she replied with a negative, making him curse out more internally before heading to a nearby store. As he had gotten hold of some of some condoms, and went to pay the cashier, he saw someone stand beside them, checking out at the same time. His gaze traveled only to fall on the person next to him, making him stand still in surprise.
After the breakup, you were in pieces for a while before you managed to gain yourself up and move forward. You continued your studies and worked your ass off for your dream job for years before finally succeeding, leading you to become successful in life, as you were happy with your dream job. Through your job, you even managed to find a man who took care of you, as you both found happiness in each other, before he got on his knees and proposed to you, making you his happy fiancee. You were truly happy in your life. You could get whatever you wanted. You had really thought you had forgotten about him. But turns out you were wrong.
As you had your credit card held out for checking out, you noticed another person coincidentally checking out at the same time, him holding out his card as well. As your gaze flickered to him, your calm smile turned into a shocked expression, as your blood ran cold, looking at him.
"Oh.."
"...Hey (NAME)..."
The girl in his arms looked at both of you confused, "Baby do you know her?"
You awkwardly smiled at them as you noticed how the girl was held by him in his arms.
"Yea..just..we used to know each other before.." Ran said, his gazxe not leaving you, while yours shifted from your groceries to him and the girl, "Hey Ran...Its been a while..You've changed.. a whole lot.." You chuckled, making him nod his head slightly as well, few chuckles leaving from his mouth as well. "Well its nice see you as well...after a...long time.." You both stared at each other for a few seconds before you shook your head, getting yourself out of the trance, "Oh lemme just check out."
You both acknowledged each other awkwardly as you pursed your lips, as Ran let you check out first, to which you thanked him meekly, before heading out. Ran quickly checked out before leaving the girl and chasing after you, "(NAME) WAIT."
You stopped midway as you turned around to find him catching upto you, "Hey uhh, since its been a while, maybe we could hang out for some time."
Your mouth formed out an 'o' as you looked at the groceries, "Oh uhh actually i gotta get going home..and i dont wanna intrude between you and your girlfriend."
"Oh she's not my girlfriend.."
"Oh.."
You pursed your lips as mixed feelings coursed through you, "I dont know Ran.."
"Just once..thats all. A plain hangout."
You pursed your lips, before taking a deep breath, "...fine...just once, a plain hangout."
"Good." Ran said, as he shared the details of the cafe and the meeting time around evening.
You bid goodbye, as you continued to walk, while Ran stood still, watching you walk away, old memories flashing in both of yours minds.
That night, as the meeting for a drug dealing got over, Ran stood at a balcony in the Bonten headquarters, smoking a cigarette, overlooking the view of Tokyo, as he leaned against a railing, thinking about your encounter. He heard a pair of footsteps walk towards him, before standing beside.
"I know that face...I haven't seen that in a while. Whats wrong? Is it something with the meeting?"
Rindou leaned against the railing, his back towards it, as he took a cig from Ran's stash which was held out towards him by the former, before removing a lighter from his pocket and lighting up, taking a whiff off it, before puffing out the smoke.
"Nah, the deal's fine. Nothing wrong with it." Ran shrugged.
"Just spit it out already. Seeing you nervous of all the people here, makes me nervous as well."
Ran took a big whiff from his half burnt cigarette, puffing out the smoke, "I saw her."
Rindou raised his brow in questioning, "Saw who? Some chick you slept with last week?"
"Of course not, why'd i give a shit about her?" Ran grunted, "It was (NAME)"
Rindou eyes slightly widened, as he looked back towards the meeting hall, while Ran kept looking at the skyline, "See her as in?.."
"Met her in a mart while I was buying condoms with the chick i was planning to stick with today, Saw her at the checkout, had a awkward convo, then invited her for a meetup tomorrow."
"Damn." Rindou whistled, "I'm surprised she agreed to it given what happened." Rindou retorted, making Ran roll his eyes, "What even are you planning to talk with her tomorrow? How you sometimes asks for tabs on her just to check up how she is behind her back, or that you haven't moved on from her after all these years and sleep with multiple women just because you imagine them as her in your bed?"
Ran looked at Rindou incredulously, making Rindou roll his eyes, "I heard you once sleeping with a random chick, just to call her (NAME) while you were in the middle of it." Rindou had a disgusted expression, making Ran snort, not denying or hiding the fact, "I don't remember you being around."
"Of course you didn't. You forgot to read my text saying i was coming over for some work. Honestly i don't wanna replay that in my head again."
The men stood in silence, puffing out whiffs of white smoke from their mouth, before Ran broke the silence, "I do miss her Rindou. I really do. She was the only one asides from you who gave two shits about me."
Rindou took a deep breath, "Did you know she was the only lady till date that i tolerated, let alone respected among whom you have dated or slept with."
"Yeah I know."
"You had to make a decision Aniki, and you did. It couldn't be helped. Someone like her doesn't belong here."
"Why do you think I kept away from her?" Ran retorted, before taking a deep breath, "If you were in my position what would you have done?"
Rindou raised his eyebrows at his older brother, as he snorted, "Wow its just weird just hearing you sound so sentimental and asking stuff like this, when its always the other way around? You sure didn't snort something on the way here?"
Ran rolled his eyes, before Rindou spoke up, "If i loved someone, I would personally never let them in my life. Our worlds are different, we live in a far dangerous one. She's not meant for this. Although it would hurt from afar, as she has moved on with someone, but I would be glad she's living in a life which makes her genuinely happy, where she would smile often. Although she is far, I would always love her from the bottom of my heart."
The brothers now facing the city skyline, stood in silence, as cold wind touched their faces, engulfing the silence between them, white faint smokes released from their air."
The next day as you arrived at the venue, you parked your car just at a distance, as you leaned against your seat, taking a deep breath. Its been many years since the last you saw him, 12 years maybe? You thought you were over him, but your old memories flooded back, the good as well as the bad. You had grown matured and smarter. But you also remembered the pain you felt as your heart had been broken by him. Call it teen romance, but you both knew what you two had for each other was far more than that.
You shook your head, before unbuckling your seat belt before heading towards the designated cafe. As you walked in, your eyes roamed around the place before it landed on a the purple haired man, as he waved at you to come over.
As you both sat down, you ordered your food before turning to each other, "Woww its been a while huh?.." Ran started, as you nodded in agreement, "Yea it has.."
"How have you been doing?"
"I'm doing well...How about you?"
Soon the conversation started as you two caught up with each other, sharing some laughs with each other. You two had realised how much you had changed since the last time you saw each other.
Ran eyed your wedding band on your left hand, "So..I see you have a partner."
You looked down to your left hand, "Oh yea, Got engaged just a few months prior and are now settling for the wedding dresses, venues stuff, you know.." You said, as Ran nodded, pursing his lips, pain filling in his heart, as he forced a smile on his face, "I'm glad to hear. You must be very happy now.."
"I am.." You said, as you stared at him, nodding your head slightly. You both observed how mature your faces had become, before you spoke up, "So what are you doing now anyways?"
"Oh you know, business deals, stuff.." Ran shrugged, as you eyed at him. You had of course noticed the tattoo on his neck, which belonged to one of the biggest, worst criminal organizations, Bonten.
"I see."
Ran did notice your gaze flickering to his tattoo, as he knew you had figured out what he was talking about. He always liked that smartness of yours.
You both stayed in silence for a few minutes,
"I'm sorry."
You looked at him surprised and confused, "Hm?"
"I'm sorry for what happened."
You chuckled bitterly as you looked out the window, "Its fine..it doesn't matter anymore. It was all in the past. You made your decision and i made mine."
You did feel your throat burn a those words, but you knew it was the truth.
Ran looked at you, wincing internally at your tone change. You two split the check before heading out together, as you walked out of the restaurant. It was around 8, and Ran was walking you towards your car, when he stopped, "(NAME).."
You turned towards him, as you saw him with an expression you hadn't seen on him before, at least not for a long time, as your heart started pounding due to the nervousness, "I know we have our two different separate paths-"
Oh god you knew this was going to happen. You took a deep breath, as you closed your eyes, denying his words.
"But i really did miss you."
"No Ran,-" You tried stopping him,
"I know I know (NAME) just listen to me."
"No Ran you can't pull shit like this, I knew this was going to happen-"
"(NAME) Please just listen to me-"
"What is there to listen Ran?" You raised your voice slightly, trying to see if anyone was around, not that you cared, although to your luck there was no one.
'You can't just spring this upon me. Not after so many years after that bullshit."
"(NAME) please just listen to me. I'm not asking you to take me back." Ran said, as he held onto your shoulders, trying to explain. "We both know that you wont take me back, and honestly I can't even let you. I care too much about you. I love you too much for that."
You shook your head, as tears were filling your eyes, as rage started filling your body as you tried to break free from his grasp, but he held tighter.
"But I just want one thing. Just one thing. Let me tell you the truth. That's it. Nothing else."
You stood, as you closed your eyes, not able to look at him, as he continued, "I don't regret anything that i did in my life. It was what i believed was right. But the only regret which i have...you.."
His grasp grip softened, as you broke free from his grasp and stood at a distance from him, "My only regret is meeting you, because if I had not met you, then I wouldn't have made both of us suffer. You wouldn't even have to worry about me, I wouldn't have had to care for you,....and I wouldn't have let you go through the pain that i put you..."
You looked up to the sky as you held back your tears. "I will always remembered the day we first met in class, you back answering me, leading to us to argue in the middle of the class." Ran clenched his fist as the memories flashed in his mind. "Me pestering you, while you swatting me away as if I was a damn parasite and a menace." Ran chuckled bitterly as you still didnt meet his gaze, this time your lips slightly quivering.
"I remember us hanging out around that old yakisoba place, you scolding me for eating too many sweets or oversleeping, me playing with your hair while teasing you with PDA,...our first 'I love you's.."
You turned your face away from him.
"I loved the way you would hold onto me as we rode on my bike, purposely speeding it just so you could grab onto me tighter, your voice just saying my name, your smile and laughter which immediately brightened me up. I loved how you not only accepted me, but my brother as well. You accepted me, you loved me just for who I am."
You covered your face, as you tried to hold in your feelings, "Ran no, don't do this, stop..."
Ran held a sad smile as he looked towards the ground, "I did try keeping my end of the promise you know."
You didn't make any action, but you were silent, making him continue, "I really did try keeping myself away from you. But I couldn't help it."
You slightly tilted your head towards his, not fully facing him.
"I was so proud of you when you graduated from your university."
You head snapped towards his direction, as he looked up at you, a sad but a pained expression on his face.
Rain started to pour, as the droplets could be felt on your heads.
"Wh-what?" You asked, confused.
"Even though you could not see me, I couldn't miss seeing you, even if I had to take the last row seat, just to see you."
You felt your heart shatter, as you were realising the more. He was there.
"When Rindou told me about your fiancee, not going to lie, it hurt like a bitch. But seeing you smile was the only thing that I wanted from you."
You covered your mouth, your legs feeling weak.
"God you looked so beautiful when you were trying on the wedding dresses. You looked like the queen of my dreams. Made me wish it was me beside your side."
You fell on the floor on your knees, as heavy sobs wrecked you, as tears streamed down your eyes and onto the floor, mixing the rain that was splattering onto the floor, and was streaming down your faces and bodies. He was there the whole time...He was there...just to see you...Away from you...But you didn't know...
You could feel your whole world collapse as you sobbed and cried, ironically remembering the time when Ran saw you crying for the first time, but this time he was the reason for it. You wanted to deny, wanted to call him a liar, a pathetic asshole who had the audacity to sump something like this on you, when you were happy and living normally. He was there the whole time...but he didn't come to you. He was so close, but yet so far.
"I hate you..." You whimpered as you sobbed.
"I fucking hate you..Why would you do this to me?? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING TELL ME THIS NOW??!! WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?? WHY WOULD YOU PUSH ME AWAY LIKE RAG DOLL??" you wailed, as you sat on your knees, your tears not stopping, as you let your emotions out.
You felt a pair of hands wrap you, as you felt a hard warmth against you, despite the coldness of the rain. Ran reached out towards you, getting on his knees, hugging you closely, as he missed the warmth of your body against his. No matter how many women he had slept with or dates, no one could replicate the warmth you made him feel from the inside as well as the outside. Even if he would be sleeping with someone, the only woman he would end up thinking of, was you, no matter how much he tried to push you back.
"YOU CHOSE THIS RAN!! YOU CHOSE YOUR FUCKING CRIMES AND DELINQUENCY OVER ME!! YOU FUCKING TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME WHEN I ASKED YOU FOR ONE THING! SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME NOW?? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME GO THROUGH THE PAIN AGAIN?? I HATE YOUU!! I HATE YOU RAN HAITANI!! I HATE YOU FOR PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS, YET STILL MAKING ME NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU. I HATE YOU FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE YET STILL MAKING ME LOVE YOU!!"
Ran patiently hugged you in his arms, despite you hitting his chest with your, as he caressed your head by his one arm while his other arm tightly wrapped around you, as you both were still on your knees, you weeping your soul out, as he took all your punches and insults with a pained smile.
As you slightly calmed down, breathing heavily accompanied by hiccups and sniffles and your nose becoming red, Ran did not leave his grasp from you, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not running after you. For not chasing you as i should've done the moment you stepped out the door. For not giving you the stuff and love you deserved. For making you go through hell. You maybe the thing i regret...but you're also the greatest thing that could've happened to me."
Your tears flowed as you gripped onto his shirt, him not caring you messed up his well ironed shirt, as tears stained the fabric, while he continued to speak, "I do not regret falling in love with you. I do not regret keeping a part of you buried in my heart. I do not regret seeing the smile on your face even if it means i have to keep myself from just hugging you and kissing you right then and there. But you don't deserve to be in my world. You're too precious to me. I love you.."
You whimpered as you heard the last three words, as Ran held a pained smile, exhaling harshly, "I love you more than the stars and moon, enough to make me fall on my knees, enough to burn the whole world just for your sake, enough for you to be happy without me. You don't have to say it back. I know you won't. You have your own life and own world to live in.
You gripped onto his shirt tighter as he hugged you more closely, "I hope the man who you are with, whose place i wished I had taken with you, makes you happy, more happy than I could've ever kept you. Gives you the happiness you deserve more than anything in the entire world. I love you (NAME). I would always love you."
You sat in the rain as he held you in his arms, as you weeped your heart out, while pained exhales came out from him, as he didn't stop hugging and caressing you. You two sat like this for an hour as you calmed down alongside the rain.
The rain droplets ceased to exist as you two sat in the middle of the street, sitting across each other, your legs and arms folded.
After a while after the rain stopped, you sat in silence before getting up slowly, "I gotta go."
Ran nodded as he got up with you as well, as you turned around and walked towards your car at a distance. Ran didn't utter a word, as he saw you leaving without any acknowledgement, He was just relieved he could finally confess his long felt feelings, as he had mentally prepared for this.
As you opened your car door, you stood still for a few seconds, before turning to face him slightly, "I hope somewhere in this universe...there's a life where we could be for each other, love each other just the way we would, a life where we would choose each other, but its not this one...Not this lifetime..."
Ran stood still as he watched you utter those words, as he smiled slightly, "Then i would choose you in every single one of them.."
You gave him a pained but genuine smile for the first time, before you stepped in your car, as Ran watched you drive away, as this was the last time he would ever see you again. Ran smiled, as this time he was the one looking up the sky, holding back his tears.
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Please do like, comment and reblog!!
Not gonna lie it motivates me hehe
But hope yall enjoyed it!
Requests are open!
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ooh, can i please request "pulling your partner onto your lap" for Izuku?? ty!!
OTHER WAY AROUND — MIDORIYA IZUKU
(send me a bnha character + a physical intimacy prompt and i’ll make something out of it!)
gender neutral reader, reader has an assertive personality, reader is STRONG but no mentions of a quirk, lower case intended 😭
note(s): hey yall 🧍♀️ i know im posting these slowly as i could possibly go but something real bad happened at school, so i just had to delay the uploads a little bit (but i am feeling a bit better so expect at least one post per day this week because of valentines day 😭)
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midoriya izuku if not rarely— never pouts.
he recognizes pouting as a part of sulking— which is a normal thing. (in fact, he does it a lot)
as much as no one really says it out loud, everyone has done it at least once in their life. a kid pouting because they couldn’t get their parents to buy them that toy they really wanted, a teenager that’s feeling particularly moody that hour, or an adult thats plans just didn’t work out.
he feels lots of things, especially after all he’s been through. at this point, what hasn’t he felt? positive, negative (sulking included) and the neutral. of course he has— it’s all a part of the process, but for some reason, he feels the need to suppress the negative a little (an understatement) more than regular.
midoriya izuku if not rarely— never pouts.
but he’s doing exactly that, and you know it. he’s sulking, pouting over something that doesn’t look worthy enough to be pouting over for the green haired teenager personally. and he knows that you know— so, he just hopes that means he doesn’t have to say it out loud. he isn’t sure if it’s something you’d usually ask or tell someone.
but he knows you— your unofficial ability to pull out any thought out of his mind, so he knows he’ll give in and end up fessing up what’s on his mind. he just knows.
you step in front of him, and he’s pulled out of his trance when you tap his chin and tilt his head upwards.
“why the long face? hmm…” you question, humming thoughtfully to yourself afterwards. if izuku’s pouting— then that’s when you know that something’s really, really wrong.
he cracks an imbalanced smile, “does it bother you?”
“not really,” you bring your unoccupied hand to cup his cheek, “it’s just that my boyfriend’s pouting, y’know? so how could i not ask?”
he brings his hand up to rest against the hand cupping his cheek, “it’s almost as if you see right through me.” he intones, sounding less shocked and more— interested and genuine.
“i mean, you’re not exactly slick.” you bluntly remark, “an open book.”
he goes red at that— “i figured,” and he starts to wonder how many times he’s been obvious on something he was trying to conceal. oh the embarrassment is starting to flood through him—
“so go on, shoot.” but it goes out the window when you start scratching under his chin like he was a cat. a shiver urges to run through him.
but the less embarrassed he becomes, the more insecure he grows. the main reason why he was pouting in the first place starts to come back to him.
“so,” he begins, clearing his throat with a cough, “promise you won’t think it’s weird?”
“i promise,” to him, your eyes look like they twinkled with sincerity. “although, you’ve really gotten me curious. is it actually weird or are you just being subjective?”
an open book, he thinks to himself. you’re so right about him. it’s like you know him like the back of your hand.
“it could be both? depends.. maybe.. actually..? ” he mumbles, genuinely considering which reason was it. you blink— and you become dead silent, as a way to allow him to respond.
he understands, “okay so,” he squeezes your hand cupping his face, “why don’t you want to sit on my lap?”
you don’t respond, like you’re expecting more out of his question. but to find the green haired hero in training not say anything else, and blink back in similar fashion— translated into ‘oh, that was really it’ for you.
“..is there more you wanna say?” you speak after a few seconds of nobody saying anything pass by, “i find it hard to believe that there’s no context to this apparently weird question. because honestly, this isn’t strange. i’m wounded by your dishonesty.”
izuku lets out a chuckle, which was genuine, but ended up sounding nervous. he begins to fiddle with his hands,
“there is context,” he gulps, taking his gaze off of you— being unable to take the extensive amount of eye contact. “it’s just that, i’ve carried a lot of people, so far. because of heroics, y’know? and most of them also sat in my lap— although unintentional. i’ve asked you before, but whenever i do it’s like.. you don’t say no, but you act as if nothing happened?”
you hum, allowing him to carry on— and you continue to scratch under his chin while listening.
“and if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine! but if it’s because you’re worried about crushing me or what not, then i don’t think it’s a concern—”
“izuku,” you cut in, halting all movements to take your hands off of him. he misses the contact already, “don’t you think it’s because i want it to be the other way around?”
he gulps rather loudly.
“what does.. that mean?” he questions, feeling his face already starting to warm up rapidly.
laughing, you poke his cheek. “although i don’t mind your idea, i prefer the idea of you planted on my lap instead.”
he lets out a squeak, and your laughter rings in his ears again.
“oh!” he exclaims, he only wished your laughter would’ve provided physical comfort like how it usually does— but it only managed to make him flush red more. “i.. i see!”
“yep.” your lips make the ‘p’ pop with emphasis.
“that.. makes sense. i never thought of it that way!”
you give izuku a smile, patting your thighs with both hands as a signal. he knows what you’re trying to tell him— he’s done it as a signal to you before. for him, it was done so casually.
yet for some reason, with your assertiveness, it was anything but.
“you want me to…?”
you pat your lap again, “it’s right here.”
“okay, okay. alright,” your freckled boyfriend breathes in deeply. suddenly, he found himself standing up and putting his jittering hands on your shoulders lightly— heart making several steep drops in his chest.
and then, you’re lowering him on your lap, and he lets out yet another squeak as you maneuver him on your lap, sitting him on one leg and spreading his legs across yours in seconds.
you pat his thigh, just to feel what it’s like to have his legs on top of yours, and you shift your hand to rest it against the small of his back.
he wonders if his heart could hammer against his chest any harder. he could hear it in his ears, and he was acutely aware of it.
despite it, he’s clinging to you like he belongs (he does) and he wraps an arm around your shoulder. “i’m sorry if i’m—”
“shh, shh.” you hush him, bringing the hand that’s not resting against his back up to stroke the back of his head— petting his hair and threading through the green, voluminous locks with your fingers.
“hypocrite.” you whisper, but you don’t exactly mean anything malice of it. “telling me not to worry about me being heavy on you, but here you are, worrying about being heavy on me.”
“my bad—”
“no,” you’re almost amazed by the way he could find new ways to apologize, “just, enjoy this, will you? isn’t this nice? this is what it must feel for those people to be sitting on your lap. it’s comfy, right?”
you’re assertive, but izuku could also sense the tiniest speck of nervousness in your voice. he knows you just like how you know him— you’re minding the way you’re coming off right now, and his reaction to all of this, like you’re worried he wouldn’t like it
which is out of the ballpark, because—
“yeah, you’re right.” he whispers, “this is comfy.”
this might start to become his next favorite past time.
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