#im doing something relatively uncommon around these here parts

[annaizscribbling]

Sander sides fic writers,,,, here is ur sign to write something wild. Do that crazy almost nonsensical idea you've been thinkin about!

Write that ridiculously complicated fantasy AU

Create that convoluted murder Mystery

Throw the sides into a genre we never get to see

Make something so chock full of symbolism and poetry we can't tell what's up or down

Challenge canon and expand on it to your hearts content

It doesn't have to be perfect or clean or anything, just make some wild art. It's the perfect fandom for it, you can do anything with these characters.

Go nuts

[wander-wren]

in honor of the chapter i’m posting later, more feels like flying ‘verse worldbuilding. under the cut for length & so people who don’t care can scroll

this is possibly edging into omegaverse energy but i Do Not Care let me have it. anyway. i invented (?? im p sure) a thing.

submissive bonding/submissive defense circles, aka sub circles.

due to biology being Like That, submissives are naturally inclined to bond with one another, whereas dominant’s are naturally inclined to steer clear. biology doesn’t define you etc etc, but it is a thing. (it’s also why, in this ‘verse, sub/sub relationships are relatively rare but socially acceptable, while dom/dom ones are practically taboo.)

we’ll get to defense circles in a second, but bonding circles are much, much more common and the two are similar, so we’ll start there. basically, a dom can only, for lack of a better word, control two subs at once, maybe three, so being in a group equals safety and comfort. bonding circles can be formed for no reason at all between friends hanging out, or specifically to help sub(s) who are stressed, dropping, subsick, etc. it’s a good way to stabilize moods, strengthen relationships, and regulate systems for younger subs who usually don’t have partners but Do have wacky hormonal shit going on. they also don’t just happen by accident; there’s no set activation or behavior, but it requires intention to happen.

it’s possible for the subs in the circle to put each other into a sort of mild subspace this way, but it doesn’t always happen and usually requires at least five people. still, it means there is something of an option for people who don’t want to be around doms for whatever reason, or don’t have one they trust enough around.

bonding circles typically last a couple of hours, even all day. activity levels are pretty fluid, ranging from a big cuddle pile to normal daily tasks (cooking, chores, games), just with the specific undertones of Circle Feelings.

absolutely no doms are allowed near the circle, at all, ever. switches are welcome as long as they’re leaning sub.

if a dom does come near a circle…well, it’s defense time. a defensive sub circle is where the “circle” term comes from; some subs, usually the switchy ones, take on protective roles and form a ring around the others, who become comforters/anchors for them and each other. who’s where depends entirely on the situation and relationships, it’s not an ingrained thing or a constant. the actual “defense mode” only lasts as long as necessary for protection, but the subs won’t be willing to leave each other for several hours, generally.

this part is also why it’s considered a monumentally stupid to circle up with only two people, or even three. it’s a great way to a) make yourselves paranoid and panicked because you aren’t protected and/or b) fail to stop an actual threat.

just so it’s clear, you will absolutely get your shit rocked if the circle decides you’re a threat, and they won’t stop until they decide the threat is contained or they’re physically separated and calmed (obviously a difficult & usually dangerous task).

a relevant note on feral behavior: doms and subs sometimes “snap” when someone they love is threatened, 9 times out of 10 a bonded (married) partner. however, because propaganda, subs going feral is considered extremely rare or impossible by some. it’s relevant here bc aside from a threat to a bonded partner, the next most common cause is a sub circle being threatened. doesn’t happen often, but often enough. feral behavior is defense circle behavior on steroids; a defense circle will subdue you. a feral submissive will kill you.

i haven’t fleshed out the laws or anything fully like the rest of this, but i’m thinking sub circles are probably pretty well protected, definitely count under self defense, etc.

i also want to clarify this isnt a pack-bond thing, its not That omegaverse-y, it’s generally a friends and family activity but it’s not uncommon among strangers, especially if someone is in obvious distress/danger.

SO that got long i was really hyped about this specific bit of worldbuilding, which came about entirely because i wanted submissive relationships to be really strong in this ‘verse. and i had this idea for a scene where a submissive is having a Bad Time for whatever reason and not comfortable getting help from their dom, so all the subs in the room circle up/close ranks and kick ‘em out to help. it spiraled from there.

as per usual feel free to send asks or anything about this ‘verse, i’m trying to remember to talk about my worldbuilding and stuff here but i’m superrrr not used to it and i never rlly know where to start whoops

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[fandom-blackhole]

Sinful Sunday THOTS

So I'm starting this so this more so for myself. I was thinking, I take everyone else THOTS, but why not share my own? So on Sundays from now on I am going to post a list of THOTS I had during the week that I wrote down!

This weeks in shorter because I just got the idea last night and wrote them all up delirious with no sleep, so sorry for mistakes, but other words enjoy!

Thank you @fuckyeahbeskar for talking about two of these THOTS with me, and for telling me I should post one of them because that is what gave me this idea 😘

Sinful Sunday Masterlist

Pairings: Paz Vizsla x Reader, Priest!Din Djarin x Reader, Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

Paz Vizsla x Reader

So I love sweet Paz and all but what about enemies to lovers Paz?

I've thought about this one for awhile...

So you are part of the mandalorian tribe that Paz and the remains of his tribe had joined. Immediately you and Paz started fighting, you weren't sure why, but just something about him rubbed at you. It wasn't uncommon for others to walk into a room and find you and Paz butting heads, literally. The two of you had been separated multiple times by the leader of your tribe and the armorer, just to keep you both from killing eachother. Eventually you decide to just start avoiding him and ignoring his presence, tired of fighting over stupid things. Unfortunately that lasted only a month before your leader called you into the armory for an assignment. He told you that you were being sent on a supply mission along with one of the warriors from the other tribe. You nodded and didn't think much of it until you were preparing the ship and Paz came strutting towards you. All you could do was clench your teeth and cross your arms asking him why he was here. He had only stared at you for a minute before saying, "I've been assigned to the supply mission." After that he finished loading the ship before heading to set up the controls. You just growled and sent a comm to your leader saying that if you survived this mission you were going to kill him.

The supply mission was to take two weeks, one to the planet where the supplies were stored and another to get back. The first two days the two of you stayed away from eachother. But on the third day the two of you started butting heads and arguing. On the 5th day Paz had managed to corner of of the ship and pin you to the wall, and in that moment you hated how flushed and hot you felt. You had to end up taking a cold shower to calm down.

When the two of you finally reached the planet and loaded the ship with supplies you were glad to be able to take some time away from Paz as you wandered the market while he was off bartering with the merchants. You made sure to take your time before walking back to the ship to find Paz FUMING. You just shrugged past him and onto the ship, totally ignoring his angry words about you being late and being an idiot and so on.

The first day back in hyperspace was spent avoiding eachother again, but that night you were over come with the need to touch yourself. You hated it but as you played with your clit all you could imagine was Paz’s body pressed against yours, pinning you in place, how he would feel slamming into you. Much to your frustration you came with a long groan of his name.

The next day found you and Paz fighting again unsurprisingly, but this time was different. This time, Paz once again pinned you to the wall before leaning down and whispering in your ear, "You know the walls of this ship are thin, and I could hear every moan last night. Was I mistaken when I heard my name as well?"

Could you only reply breathlessly as he moved his thigh between you legs, "You fucking wish Vizsla." And he leaned down close, bumping his helmet with your own as he pushed his thigh against you and whispering something quietly under his breath before saying, "Mmm maybe you need to be punished for lying." He immediately spanked you, and you couldn't help but moan and you could feel his smirk as he did it again. Before grabbing your ass roughing and saying that you were going to be sore tomorrow, he was going to make sure of it. Paz took no time at all before pulling you pants down and turning you around to face the wall. You angrily started to protest, but was immediately shut up with another smack to the ass, with which you could only moan brokenly. You heard Paz chuckle,, before spanking you again, before rubbing a hand over your flesh. Then he harshly pulled you back into his chest and kicked you feet apart before immediately pressing his glove covered finger tips to you clit. Paz then told you, "Im gonna make this pussy weep for me until you are begging for my cock." And he kept his promise. Paz brought you orgasm after orgasm and by your fifth you were already starting to beg him. He only growled in your ear and slapped you pussy saying, "You can do better than that. Beg. Me." You tried again, but it also result in another harsh slap. This time you let out a broken sob and whined out, "Please, fucking please pleasepleaseplease, Paz give your cock... I need to feel it inside of me so badly. Fuck me pleaaaassseeee."

And before you could even take a breath you felt him slam his enormous cock into you. You could only whimper at the stretch and curse Paz. He only chuckled and wait a few seconds, detailing everything he wanted to do to you before he started pounding into you so hard you could barely stand or think straight. Paz didn't let up and railed you through several more orgasms before he came deep inside you himself.  Afterwards he carried you to bed and mockingly said, "Goodnight cyare."

The rest of the trip was spent with petty fights ending in fucking eachother senseless and by the time you arrived at the covert you found yourself somewhat disappointed that this was all going to end. But you were shocked when Paz turned to you after he had landed the ship and asked, "Marry me?"

You only smirked and said back, "Give me a good reason too, di'kut."

You heard him growl, before he pulled you onto his lap and said, "So I can look you in the eye as I fuck the life out of you, so I can finally shut that mouth of yours up with my cock down your thoat."

Let's just say that the other mandalorians avoided the ship for a few hours as they heard moans coming quite loudly from inside. The Armorer and the tribe leader both nodded to eachother and let out a sigh glad that they wouldn't have to deal with your shit anymore.

(In this THOT i also imagine Paz being absolutely infatuated with you from day one, and those feelings that rub at you is just intense attraction that you don't want to acknowledge. The Armorer and tribe leader set the trip up to try and push the two of you together so they didn't have to deal with the sexual tension so thick it could kill anyone that walked past. In the end the are fucking relieved it worked, though a little too well lmao)

Din Djarin x Reader

So Priest!Din thot....

After Sunday service one week you ask him innocently if he would like help cleaning up the chapel. Din smiles and says yes thank you. You wave your family to go ahead and wait for Din to finish speaking and saying goodbye to the parishioners. When the last woman leaves, little old Mrs. Taylor, he waves you inside. The two of you work in relative silence as you put away all the hymnals and bibles, the only noise being your movements and your own humming of one of the hymns from that day's service. By the time the two of you made it to the front of the chapel, you turn to eachother and pause looking at eachother before you both lean forward for a sweet kiss. When you pull back you smile at Din, before biting your lip and saying, "That was a beautiful service today, Father Djarin."

You could see Din's eyes dark the second you uttered his title. The look he gave you sent a warm shiver down to your lower belly. Then he reached forward and pulled you close whispering, "Only the best for my flock, my child." You couldn't suppress the small gasp that passed your lips as his hand moved to your hip backing you up until you felt your back hit the altar. You were shocked even more when Din suddenly lifted you and put you on the altar and immediately rolled you dress up your thighs whispering about how much he has been aching to feel you again. Din stops suddenly when he finds you missing your panties and he moans before grunting out, "A sinful temptress who just continues to seduce me with her wicked ways..." Then he's crashing his mouth on yours as he works to open his belt and pull out his aching cock. You can only meal against him he slowly slips into you. He stays fully seated inside of you for a minute, breathing harshly into you neck before pulling back to meet your eyes.

"You have no idea what you do to me, sweet girl. You.....you have consumed my every waking moment, and I cannot stop these sinful thoughts of you." Then he dives back down into the kiss as he starts pounding into you, muffins your moans and whines with his mouth. The two of you fuck passionately and full of forbidden love as you desecrate the altar of the most holy. Din praises and worships you and your body as if you were the diety he pledged his life too. When the two of you were thrown into the ultimate pleasure you met eachother's gaze and spoke the words you both wish you could say aloud.

Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

My Ezra THOT of the week....

Just a preface, Ezra has a prosthetic arm in this THOT...

You were a rather skilled prospector. You had almost a sixth sense for good dig spots and that made you raise through the ranks rather quickly. Even though you were valuable, you still were never able to hit a dig that allowed you to be payed enough to finally settle down. You were hoping this dig would be different. You'd been hired by a bigger company, and was going down to the planet with a crew of roughly 15. The way your employers had explained it, you all would be split into groups of three and whatever your group mined would be split into four, parts for the three of you, and one for the company. It was the best deal you had gotten, ever. The day you were to go to the moon you climbed aboard the shuttle and took a seat next to a man with a charming smile and a unique blonde patch. While waiting to leave the two of you became acquainted and learned his name was Ezra.

As it turned out, Ezra and you had been paired up in a group, along with a woman named Shelby. You also learned that Ezra was very much a talker and loved to please. Shelby got annoyed with his constant chatter, but you found yourself smiling softly and occasionally responding to his poetic words with sentences as graceful as you could make them. Loving the smile Ezra would shoot your way when you did. You also came to realize that Ezra would give nicknames to those that he latched onto and you learned quickly that he had dubbed you to be sunflower. At night the two of you would speak, sharing stories until Shelby would forcefully shut the lantern light out on you both telling you to shut the fuck up.

As grumpy as Shelby was, you were still hurt when one afternoon she disappeared for hours. Worried Ezra had gone to look for her only to come back with a grim look and a shake of the head. The two of you didn't speak the rest of the night, paranoid and not wanting to leave the other alone for a second. A few days later found you waking from sleep in a could sweat and with Ezra holding your face softly whispering reassuring words. That was the first night the two of you shared a cot, and after that it became a nightly occurrence. Eventually two of your three and a half month stay had passed and you found yourself looking up as Ezra walked into the shared tent after his shower in the communal space, he was shirtless and you watched as water dripped from his hair down his chest. He had immediately met your gaze and you blushed and turned back to your book quickly. You were shocked when you ft a finger trace you cheek, not having heard him approach. Then he spoke up and said, "Sunflower, I want you to promise me that if I cross a line, you will tell me. I in no way want to make you uncomfortable." You had only looked up at him confused. He responded by gently taking your book and setting it aside, before turning back to you and leaning in slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away, before he softly brushed his lips against your own. Whwn you didn't pull away, Ezra dived in and pushed the kiss further. Soon you found yourself sitting in Ezra’s lap, stipped of everything but your under clothes, and makeout passionately with the man who has haunted your thoughts since you heard his voice. You instinctively started grinding against Ezra as you started to feel a pressure in you belly, that resulted in him groaning and grabbing your waist before pulling back slightly and looking you in the eye. He traced your skin for a second, causing goosebumps to erupt everywhere before he whispered, "May I ask a favor, my bright sunflower," you only nodded in response before he rushed out quickly and not as poetic as you are sure he would have liked, "Sunflower, please, for the love of Kevva, climb over me and place those sweet lips above mine." You sat there confused for a second before it clicked and you shyly asked him, "You want me to sit on your face?" You say his eyes dilated as he nodded shakily and whispered out a singular, please. You could only nod and he gave you the prettiest smile as he flopped back onto the bed before just completely rippling you panties off of you. You could only whine as he pulled your hips up. Ezra made sure you were making eye contact with him when he picked a broad striped along you slit with a groan and several muttered words. Ezra repeated that a few times before he stopped at your clit one pass and sucked it into his mouth. You could only choke out his name roughly before he just started eating you out like there was no tomorrow. At one point he as you were getting closer he pulled back long enough to tell you not to hold back anything, to tell you to grind against his face. You only moaned in response before he pulled you down onto his mouth and dipped into you again. It didn't take you long to start gasping out his name, and when Ezra reached up and grabbed your breasts, pinching your nipples, you felt your eyes roll back as you came all over his face as he continued his ministrations dragging out your orgasm as long as you let him. When you finally came back to your body you found yourself laying on the bed and Ezra naked next to you already dozing, having cum from his own touches while he was tasting you.

[fan-clan-fun]

I have zero self control

Here I am back at it again with new fanclans!!

I literally spent three hours thinking about this as I helped a friend move to a new apartment, its nice to have something to think about while hauling boxes. 

Anyway! Thanks to the anon who mentioned medievalish clans, I wanted to give another go (kinda) to one of my older ideas for a medieval clan, but it’s kinda turned out different than I intended.

First I determined that I wanted to use a sort of hereditary monarchy sort of thing, although its a bit different, and I wanted these clans to be the ones to finally use my list of deities I came up with forever ago.

My thinking was definitely not linear, so I will attempt to pull a coherent train of thought out of the mess.

The Basics:

There are two clans, Dawnclan and Duskclan, named for where their territory is (Dawnclan to the east, Duskclan to the west) and the order of their formation (Dawn first and Dusk second).  Duskclan was formed after a dispute of leadership caused an almost half and half split in the clan and the disgruntled party left. 

The leadership of the clans is based on a specific concept, that was started back when the clan was first founded. The clans are led by a Monarch and their consort. The Monarch must be close blood (child, sibling, niece/nephew, cousin) to the previous Monarch and descended from the original line of the founding cats (Mother Misty). The Consort does not have to be their mate, nor do they have to love each other, but they serve as a team in guiding the clan. One of the pair is in charge of things outside of camp (hunting, patrolling, etc), while the other is in charge of things inside camp (maintenance, keeping kits occupied and educated, ensuring everyone has the supplies they need, etc). It does not matter which of the pair does this, either monarch or consort may choose either job, but they may not each do the same one. The only other requirement, is that the monarch must provide heirs, either through their body, or if that is not possible through other means of close family. 

Part of the differences between Dawnclan and Duskclan, is that they see who is eligible for this duo differently. Dawnclan could care less if its a cis male/female pairing, or any other under the sun, such as a lesbian or gay or nontraditional pair, so long as they can find a way to have heirs. But Duskclan insists it must be a male/female (can be trans) partnership, as they see it as an issue of balance, as well as the consort must be clan born and bred. This is due to the fact that what broke the original clan in two was that the female monarch took an infertile (spayed) female consort and had no intention of producing kits, expecting their sibling to provide. The soon to be leader of Duskclan took issue with this, and left. 

Dawnclan says that the reason for the split was because the leader of Duskclan was a sore loser, which to some degree he was. Because the way it is decided which of the Monarch’s relatives (with preference towards children, siblings, and nieces/nephews) will become the next monarch, is that those who wish to become monarch must submit to a challenge. Either the potential Heir or their consort (whichever plans to be in charge of outside the camp), will engage in a duel (or tournament if there are enough challengers) to determine the rightful heir. The duels are until first visible blood, a sign that the cat is willing to shed blood for their clan if necessary, and forming a pact in blood between the challengers even if they have lost. So when the leader of Duskclan lost to his sister, he refused to live under her rule, gathered supporters who agreed with him, and left.

Clan Ranks/Culture:

So as I mentioned before, I do want to use the deities I had made before, and as a result, Im fiddling a little with ranks. 

Instead of just Medicine cats, there are two ranks:

Healer: These are your traditional medicine cats, but with the added duties of memorizing clan trees and bloodlines and the basic history of the clans, such as the great events and when they occurred, the wars, etc.

Clerics: These are the cats who take charge of religious teachings, of signs a prophecies, and most religious ceremonies. They are the ones who bestow favor on a new monarch, they are the ones who tell the moral stories of heroes and villains, they are the counselors and support for the cats in their clan. 

Sometimes the duties of both Clerics and Healers intercept, and they have at times been at odds, but they usually resolve their differences. 

There are always at least 2 of each at all times, but its not uncommon for each clan to have 3-4 Healers or Clerics. They cant risk the knowledge being lost, so they take the necessary precautions.

There is also a special rank, known as the Knights.

These are generally 3-4 cats who are known to be the absolute best at what they do. They are considered the Monarch and Consort’s Honor Guard, their personal envoys, their paws, their ears, their voices, etc. Usually each Knight has a distinct set of skills, though they are still well rounded, but their is generally the best fighter, and the other three might be the best tracker, or the most stealthy, or the best hunter, or the most eloquent and diplomatic, etc. Knights often are considered to be very desirable as mates (male or female since knights can be either), and its not uncommon for them to be chosen as consorts by potential heirs (In fact in Duskclan most consorts were Knights at one point). Knights do rotate out over time (or don’t make it to retirement due to being in a position of danger more than anyone else) based on the Monarch’s needs and desires, but they keep the title Champion even after they are no longer a Knight, in honor of their service.

How the clans were originally founded:

So this was just a thought I had, that the clans came originally from a clowder, who’s leader, Misty, accepted and allowed her mate to stay. Most clowders often either have one lead male who will chase away or kill kits or other cats he doesnt like, but Dusty was different. He was still fiercely protective of his mate and kits, but he wasn’t aggressive. Other females felt safe around him. And when his Misty’s kits were born and being raised, her daughter Rain convinced her to give other toms a chance too. So before even a clan was established, before names were being changed, the idea of mentoring and apprenticeships was there. Dusty or some of the other females would mentor kits, and if a male could make it through apprenticeship without showing dangerous aggressive tendencies he was allowed to stay. So soon the clowder had not just one male, but several, and it started to grow.

When Misty finally retired, Rain took over, and she chose her own consort to help lead with her, named Beetle. Then they gathered their group together and named themselves officially as a clan (not Dawnclan, that would come later). Together they decided on rules and regulations (the original code), so that they could begin to interact with outsiders and potentially allow them in. It was a much smaller code than canon, and its main tenants included not harming kits, not being aggressive towards one another unless in defense, and that everything in the clan was shared and that the weakest and most vulnerable should get first choice. Over time it evolved to include more, but that was the very start.

Religion came with the next generation, at Misty’s death, when the old stories of the gods took on a new light. Mothers began teaching their kits about Misty as an incarnation of Mehr, the primal mother deity, the one which most cats had heard of and acknowledged. The other god which was taught was the deity of chaos and death, which was a natural counterpoint to Mehr as the deity of birth and life. The other deities evolved over time as new roles and ranks became important. Some took on more real life energy as certain cats were considered incarnations of them, like Misty had been.

Funnily enough, Dawnclan considers the founder of Duskclan to be the incarnation of Hissao, the betrayer. 

As for medicine.... well Im not sure, this is as far as I got thinking wise, and I just needed to write it down before I forgot so... yeah. If people like this I might write more about it, Im liking what I have so far, and I never could tell myself to stop. 

[littlebitoffanfic]

Trust

Fandom: Star Trek Characters: Bones, Scotty Relationship: Bones/reader Request: I love your fics so much!! If you're still taking requests, I'd love to see a McCoy/ reader fic where reader gets a minor injury but is afraid of doctors and doesn't want to go to the med bay. Thanks so much, have a good day!! Can't wait to see what you write next! :) You were new aboard the Enterprise, and it had been a good first few months for you. But as your talents across several sectors were shown, you were moved into try to fix one of the broken ships that had been damaged in battle. Unfortunately, another newbie hadn’t secured the loose section of panel and, while you were fixing some of the wiring, it fell right on top of you. Scotty rushed over, helping you out with the aid of several others before demanding you go to the medical bay. For some reason, you felt more fear about going there than you did when you realised that panel was going to fall on you. You had a deep fear of doctors and hospitals. You managed to stop Scotty from escorting you there himself when you said if you had had a broken bone, you would know it. No, you were just a little bruised, that was all. With reluctance, he had dropped his demands and given you a week off to heal properly. he noticed you walked with a limp and decided that you were stubborn as a mule but he needed to do something. -------time skip ------------- You sat in the canteen, your meal barely touched as you sat totally engulfed in the book you were reading. It was a little busier than normal, but you didn’t mind because you were able to drown out the voices as white noise. Until you saw someone approach you out of the corner of your eye. You glanced up to see a new face. A man, with dark hair and a strong jaw line. His features seemed set in a mild annoyance but he was certainly handsome to look at. “Do you mind?” He nodded to the free seat at your table. He was carrying a tray with a cup on it along with a sandwich. He was probably on his break. But he wasn’t wearing a uniform, which means he wasn’t on a break. Maybe he had not long finished a shift and decided to change. It wasn’t uncommon for staff to change into normal clothes to eat after long shifts. “No, go ahead.” You respond with a smile. “Are you new?” he asks as he sat down, taking the cup of coffee and plate off his tray to slip the tray down the side. The table was rather small and it would have taken up a good chunk. “Yes, Ive been here about 2 months now.” You nod, your attention distracted from your book to the gentleman sitting at your table. “I suppose that relatively new on this ship.” He looks to his right before taking a sip of his coffee. You let out a small chuckle before reaching for your empty cup. “Are you going to be here a bit? Could you watch my things while I grab a drink?” You shake the cup slightly and the man nods. Getting to your feet, you go over to the coffee machine and make yourself another drink. There was something a little intriguing about the man who had just sat beside you. You were more sure than not that if this hadn’t been a work environment, you might have allowed yourself to admit you were attracted to him. But you chocked back the feelings and returned to the table. “You’re limping.” He stated in a rather harsh voice that made you raise an eyebrow at him. “Slightly, yes.” You sip on your drink, a little taken aback by his words. “Have you seen the med bay about it?” He places his coffee down, his full attention on you. “Well, no.” You drop your gaze, unsure why he seemed to care so much. “Why? If you’re injured, isn’t that what they are there for?” He raises an eyebrow at you, seeming to question if you knew what a med bay was. “I know. I just, umm. Im not the biggest fan of doctors.” You admit, a little sheepishly as your cheeks flared up red. You didn’t know why you were offering an explanation to this stranger when you didn’t even offer it to Scotty, you had known for longer. “they aren’t a band, you don’t have to buy a ticket.” He frowns, apparently unsure of your meaning. But his response made you laugh. “No, no, no.” You giggle, batting your hand at him as you managed to calm yourself down a little more to put it into words. “I don’t like them. I never have. Hospitals, nurses, needles, they all make me really uncomfortable.” “Oh.” Was all he said as he sat back, his attention turning to his coffee. “Besides, im not badly hurt. Just a little bruised. Nothings bleeding or broken.” You defended yourself as you took another drink. For a moment, the two of you sat in a uncomfortable silence, broken by the sipping of liquid before the man spoke. “I got hurt a few missions ago. Got a nasty bruise on my back. I still have some of the healing cream in my quarters.” He spoke carefully, not looking at you but seeming more interested in the coffee at the bottom of his cup. “Healing cream?” You asked, a little unsure. “Yes, its meant to help with any swelling and calming bruising. I had a few tubes of it and I only used one. Ive got 2 unopened. They’re yours if you want them.” He looked at you, and you saw something in his eyes. He seemed to generally care and be concerned about you. “Well, that would be nice.” You nod. It would be good if you could get the bruising down quicker. The two of you finished your drinks and you closed over your book before realising you didn’t know his name, nor did he know yours. “Im [y/n], by the way.” You extend your hand to him as you two walked out of the food hall. “Leonard McCoy.” He shook your hand. ------- time skip ----------- “It will get infected.” Leonard chastised you as he looked at your palm which was slip open. “Im sure it’ll be fine.” You pulled your hand back, wishing you had never shown him your latest injury. After meeting in that café, you and Bones had grown rather close. It had only been a month, but you saw him nearly every day after your shift. “You need to go to the medical bay. You need stitches.” He stood up, forgetting about his own dinner. “No, ive told you a thousand times.” You turned back to your meal, eating it with your good hand. “Why not?” Bones collapsed back into his chair, thankful the hall was nearly deserted so no one could see him freaking out. “Because I don’t trust them.” You couldn’t hid the anger in your voice. you were annoyed at how he kept pushing you and pushing you. But there was a short pause as Bones stared at you. “Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice softer than before. It was no longer commanding you, but more becoming. You looked over to him, confused by his question. But you knew the answer nonetheless. “Yes.” You nodded slightly. Bones stood up and took your good hand. Without a word, he guided you through the halls towards the medical bay. You had never been there before and you fought your instinct to run in the opposite direction. Mainly because you were intrigued by Bones. Why had he asked you such a question? What relevance did it have to the slice in your palm. You were so preoccupied with the question, you didn’t realise you had passed through the first set of door into the medical bay. There were beds on both sides of you with sheet screens that some had pulled around. One bed had blood on it that the nurse was stripping. You froze as your eyes fell on some medical equipment. But Bones moved his hand to your back and stared you guide you through the area into the back office at a gentle pace. Inside was part office, part examination room. It reminded you of a doctors room from back on earth. On the wall was a few plaque and medical certificates as well as a book shelf with medical books. Bones motioned for you to sit on the examination bed in the corner, which you did without objection. Bones then came over to you with a small tray of medical things including antibacterial wipes, creams, a needle, the stitches and needle and a few other things you couldn’t recognise and he placed the tray beside you. he took your bad hand and turned it over so your palm was facing the ceiling. He then used a wipe to dap away some of the dried blood before picking up the needle. You went to yank your hand away from him but he looked up at you. “You have to trust me. I wont hurt you.” He said, his eyes pleading for you to believe him. And you did. You nodded and closed your eyes tight and gritting your teeth. You felt the small prick of the needle entering your palm in 3 places around the wound but never actually inside it. Once it was done, you felt your hand start to feel strange. “What…” you trailed off as you tried to move your fingers but they felt weird. “It’s numbing your hand. You wont feel a thing when I do the stitches.” Bones clarified for you as he pulled a office chair over so he could sit down. Your eyes moved across the room until they fell on the medical degree. “You, youre the head of the medical bay, aren’t you? you’re a doctor?” You breath, your eyes skimming the name on the degree again and again. “yes.” Was all Bones said to you as he rearranged the tray is if he was feeling awkward. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” You ask, feeling a little hurt. He must have purposefully have kept that information from you. “You never asked.” Bones replied a little too quickly. He reached to take your now numb hand but you pulled it back. “Earlier you asked if I trusted you. and I said yes. How do I know I can trust you now?” you felt the fear running through your body. Bones looked at you before signing and leaning back in his chair. “I wanted to say something sooner. But Scotty said you would be terrified of me. So I didn’t.” He explained, but didn’t answer your question. “What does Scotty have to do with this?” You ask, more confused now than ever. “He asked me to try and discreetly make sure you weren’t in too much pain or danger.” Bones said. “Oh, so the only reason you’ve been spending time with me is because of Scotty?” You ask, shocked as you blinked back tears. You had really grown to care for Bones, and the thought that it was all a ruse made your heart break in two. “When I sat with you first, yes. But ever since then? No, its because I enjoy your company. And the longer I left it, the harder it got to tell you.” He shakes his head, frowning to himself as he silently cursed Scotty. “Why?” You asked again. “I don’t want you to be scared of me or ruin the connection we have.” He paused before looking up at you, his eyes betraying him and showing how scared and anxious he was. His answer made you stop. It was true. The two of you got along like a house on fire. You could speak for hours at a time and never run out of subjects. You had heard a little about the head of the medical sector being grumpy and he didn’t like to socialise very often. So you had never made the connection between him and Bones. Maybe you should have paid more attention. Signing, you held out your hand to Bones. “I trust you.” You whisper, wiping away your tears on the back of your sleeve. “Thank you.” Bones nodded, taking your injured hand in his own as he set to work, stitching. You looked away the entire time, but before you knew it, he was done. He wrapped your hand in a bandage. “Ill need to change this in a few days and look at the stitches. But I can come to your quarters if you don’t want to come back here.” He looks up at you. “hmm, I think you should come to my quarters. But only because im lazy and you betrayed me.” You joked, laughing a little as you turned your now bandaged hand over and admired how well he had done. “I am sorry.” Bones said, the genuine apology portrayed by his cracked voice. “I know.” You nod, more to yourself than to him. You jump off the bed and stand up. Bones immediately get up from his chair, making sure you weren’t going to faint or stumble. It made you giggle. you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him before he could protest. “Thank you.” You whispered in his ear as you closed your eyes. Bone’s arms wrapped around your waist and he returned the hug, holding you close. “anything you need, I’ll always help you.” He whispers back. In that moment, you forgave the small white lies he had said, or at least that he hadn’t said he was a doctor. “Besides, it might be beneficial for me to have my own personal doctor. Im always in the wars.” You giggle, pulling back to see him smiling down at you. “so I’ve seen.” He chuckles as he starts to guide you out of his office again. “Where are we going?” You ask, sticking closer to him and avoiding looking around the medical bay. “to get something to eat.” Bones replied. “Ah yes, since you dragged me away from my meal.” You shot him a dirty look which you couldn’t keep for long without laughing. Bones once again chuckled at you. but he was also glad he still had your trust.

[iffeelscouldkill]

Good For Morale

After three and a half weeks of working on this fic and countless distractions, revisions and moments where I had to bribe myself into working on it, it’s finally finished! Here is my longest TSCOSI fic to date, and it’s all about Sana Tripathi. I love that woman.

Of course because I’m me, there’s bonus Arkady/Violet and a bit of Brian/Krejjh, but mostly it’s wall-to-wall Sana Feels and my attempts to get inside her head, understand her character and play out her relationship with Campbell. I really dig their flirty chemistry, and I’m excited to see what their relationship becomes in the podcast :D

This is set post-episode 9, and contains my very vague and bad guesses about things that could happen in episode 10. I look forward to finding out how wrong I am!

Summary: After a daring escape from the IGR, the crew of the Rumor is en route to Telemachus. Sana is preoccupied over an impending reconciliation with Campbell, trying to navigate their suddenly strained relationship, and understand her own feelings towards her old friend.

It would help if she could stop walking in on her crewmates making use of the hammock in the mess hall.

Read on AO3

It wasn’t uncommon on the Rumor to run into Brian and Krejjh being cuddly and sickeningly cute in any given part of the ship.

They spent most of their time either up in the cockpit or in their shared room, but Sana had stumbled across them in the kitchen, the engine room, the medical closet – even her own room during one infamous incident where Brian and Krejjh’s bunk was being fumigated for asteroid ticks. (Brian had apologised profusely for that one).

It wasn’t that they were into public displays of affection so much as they just couldn’t seem to help themselves, thought Sana wryly. And now they were occupying the makeshift hammock she’d constructed out of safety harnesses and string in the middle of the mess hall.

Good for morale, indeed. It wasn’t like she’d ever walked on them doing anything more than PG-rated (not like that time with Arkady’s one-night-stand on Telemachus - god, they were drunk that night), it was just – a little distracting sometimes. Especially at 6 o’clock in the morning, ship’s time, when she’d rather been hoping to eat her breakfast in peace. Sana stood there for a moment, holding her steaming bowl of congee (real congee, not the stuff from the depths of the store cupboard that Arkady sometimes tried to pass off as congee), and settled on a cheerful, “Morning, guys.” One of Krejjh’s pairs of eyes flicked towards her, and they nudged Brian to get his attention. Brian broke away from Krejjh and looked up at Sana, smiling. “Oh, hey, Captain. Didn’t expect to see you up so early.”

“I could say the same about you both,” Sana pointed out. Brian gave his signature loose shrug and a genial smile. “Krejjh’s shift just ended and I was nappin’ in the cockpit, so we both decided to come down here for a change of scene.” “This hammock really does hold weight a lot better than I would’ve expected, all things considered,” Krejjh added brightly. “The more you know!” “That is good to know,” Sana agreed dryly. “Anyway – we’ll leave to your breakfast,” Brian said, hopping up and holding out his hand to Krejjh to help them up. “Aww, but I was comfortable.” Pouting, Krejjh allowed themself to be hauled out of the hammock, keeping their hand intertwined with Brian’s as the two of them left the mess. “See you later, Cap’n!” As the door slid shut behind them, Sana looked thoughtfully at the hammock. After a moment’s indecision, she smiled to herself and sat down, then swivelled to the side and attempted to swing her legs up into the hammock. It was at that moment that the (very hot!) bowl of congee she’d balanced on her lap slid perilously and threatened to spill all over her legs – reminding Sana why she’d stopped using the hammock in the first place.

The second time it happened was only a week later. This time, it was Sana who’d been needing a change of scene. She’d been more or less cooped up in her room since they’d returned from the supply run on Thalassa. Her isolation wasn’t deliberate; she’d just been trying to prepare herself for– well. Anyway, she’d gone down to the kitchen and raided what was left of those “strange flavor” Chinese snacks Violet had bought to see what they tasted like (the rest of the crew hated them, but Sana kind of liked them) and wandered into the mess to find– It was Violet and Arkady this time, Arkady lying in the hammock with Violet propping herself up on her hands above her. She was giggling, and Arkady was looking up at her with an expression that Sana had never seen on her best friend’s face before. It was fierce, loving, and protective all at once; there was a sort of longing there, but also a having, and a wonder at the place she’d found herself, all at the same time. Sana thought that it must be what coming home looked like. The sight caused an unexpected stab of loneliness to run through her. She was beyond thrilled for her best friend, really – it was about damn time that Arkady had got her ass in gear and acted on her very obvious feelings for their resident Science Officer. The entire crew had cheered when Violet grabbed Arkady and kissed her during the Rumor’s break-neck escape from New Jupiter and the IGR. Sana was pretty sure she’d cheered loudest of all. But… It was one thing to see (and hear) Brian and Krejjh acting coupley around the ship and know that she could still knock on Arkady’s door in the dead of night sometimes and complain about the futility of romantic relationships, or get a little drunk and confess to her best friend that she was afraid of being alone, and have the two of them make a pact that they would always be there for each other. It was another thing to be reminded that she was the only one on the ship that hadn’t found someone. She began backing out of the room, but Violet must have caught the movement on the periphery of her vision. She looked up, and blushed bright red as she realised that they had an audience. “Oh! S-Sana, hi!” Arkady twisted around underneath Violet and attempted a wave, completely unselfconscious. “Hey, Captain. Look, we’re using the hammock! I can feel my morale improving already.” “Right,” said Sana distantly. She knew she sounded strained, but couldn’t quite figure out how to make her voice… not be. “That’s good. Don’t let me interrupt.” She turned and left the mess hall.

Arkady watched Sana leave, then turned to frown at Violet. “What was that about?” Violet sat back on her heels, looking concerned. “Sana has been really withdrawn lately. I feel like I’ve hardly seen her since we left Thalassa. Has she spoken to you?” Arkady shrugged as best she could in her horizontal position. “Not really.” She mentally reviewed the last several days – and then remembered the cargo that they’d picked up on Nereid.

“Oh, right. We’re due to call on Campbell in Telemachus, and it’s gonna be the first time that Sana has seen him since we skipped out on our stop to go rescue you, and then, y’know... accused him of double-crossing us. I guarantee she’s stressing about it.” “Crap,” said Violet, and Arkady fought off a smile at Violet’s mild curse words. Then again, she’d also heard her curse fluently and extremely impressively in Mandarin when Arkady came in bleeding from a gunshot wound to the side, so she supposed it was all relative. “But surely he gets it, I mean – our lives were under threat. There was no possible way to know who was after us. And Sana was just trying to protect her crew.” “Yeah, but you know Sana,” Arkady said wryly. “She takes this stuff to heart. And she and Campbell, well… they go pretty far back.” Violet nodded, biting her lip. Her mouth was red and tempting, and Arkady would have loved to wrap the intimate moment back around them and carry on, but she couldn’t leave Sana to get lost in her own head and overblown sense of responsibility. “I should go after her,” she said regretfully. “Not to ditch ya right in the middle, but...” “No, it’s fine, this is important. You should go and talk to Sana,” said Violet. She leaned down to press a quick kiss to Arkady’s mouth. “I’m not going anywhere.”

How the hell did I get so lucky? Arkady wondered, staring up at Violet. It was only when Violet asked, “What?”, her cheeks growing pink again, that she realised she’d been gazing in silence for about a minute with a dopey smile growing on her face.

“Nothing,” said Arkady hastily, scrambling out from under Violet and hopping to her feet. “Wish me luck – I’m about to go and talk about feelings.”

“You’ll live,” Violet told her drily.

Sana had only been sitting down on her bunk for a few moments when her door slid open to admit Arkady. She looked up in surprise.

“Arkady,” she said, frowning slightly. “Look, you didn’t need to come after me, Violet-”

“Is this about Campbell?” Arkady asked, wasting no time in getting to the point.

“Is what about Campbell?” Sana asked. She knew better than to play dumb with her best friend, but to have answered Arkady’s question with anything else felt like too much of an admission. That she was more preoccupied than she’d been letting on.

“You barely leaving your room, acting closed off, freaking out when you walked in on Violet and me just now. Given that you’ve walked in on me in way more compromising positions-” Arkady smirked at the memory, “I figured something else was bothering you. And we’re due to land on Telemachus in just a few days.”

Sana sighed. “Yeah, it’s been on my mind.”

“Look,” said Arkady, sitting down next to Sana. “You were doing what you thought was best for your crew. We had no other suspects! We sure as hell weren’t going to jump to ‘invisible robots in the air’ as the obvious source of our leak. Sometimes you just have to make a call – Campbell of all people should understand that. If he doesn’t, fuck ‘im. We can find other contacts.”

“I know,” said Sana. “I’m not second-guessing my decision; I know it was the right one. But Campbell isn’t just another customer. I want to fix things with him. I’m just not sure how.”

“He agreed to take our cargo from Nereid, though, right? Was he hostile when you spoke to him?”

“Not exactly.” Sana thought back to the short conversation that she’d had with Campbell not long after their flight from the IGR.

“Computer. Outside call. Sana Tripathi to Ignatius Campbell.”

“Attempting connection!” chirped ELLA, and this time, Sana just about suppressed her flinch at hearing Emily Craddock’s voice coming out of her computer. It was going to take her a little while to stop associating it with everything that had happened.

“Sana.” Campbell picked up immediately. Sana had timed the call for late evening on Telemachus, when she’d known Campbell would be available, but she was still gratified and a little relieved. “What’s happening? I heard about what happened on New Jupiter. Are you safe? Is your crew safe?”

“We’re all fine, Campbell,” Sana replied. She tried to keep the weariness from her voice, but didn’t think she’d succeeded. After a moment, she admitted, “Just tired.”

“I’m… glad to hear that,” said Campbell slowly, and there it was – the awkwardness she’d expected. Sana held back a sigh, and tried to think of what else to say. Campbell beat her to it.

“You know, you could have called. If you’d needed… anything. A hiding place. Somewhere to rest. Supplies. I… I know I said that there wasn’t much point in us talking – I said that in the heat of the moment. But you should know that you can always call.”

“I do know,” Sana told him. She might have felt uneasy about having accused Campbell of double-crossing them, but she still knew that if they’d needed a friend, or someplace to lie low, Campbell would have come through for them. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you, Campbell – but it wasn’t safe. We were on the run, and the last thing I wanted was to lead the IGR to your door.”

“Oh,” said Campbell, in a tone that Sana couldn’t identify. “I see.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you,” Sana emphasised again, because she felt that it was worth repeating. “I knew… I know that you didn’t sell us out to the IGR.”

Campbell was silent for a little while, and Sana wished that she could see his expression. Most state-of-the-art intergalactic comm systems had holotech that would allow you to view the person on the other end, but nothing about the Rumor was state-of-the-art. It hadn’t seemed like a function worth splurging on, especially as they preferred for many of their contacts not to be able to identify them.

“Okay,” Campbell said eventually. “I appreciate that. Did you manage to find the source of your leak?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it was… unexpected,” said Sana. “It’s kind of a long story to explain over a call, but… I could tell it to you in person.”

There was another pause. “Are you guys near Telemachus?”

“We’re actually just about to call in on a contact in Nereid,” said Sana. “They’ve got some cargo that I think you might be interested in.”

“Oh,” said Campbell again, a flat note in his voice. “So, this is a business call.”

“I was hoping it could be a catch-up between old friends,” Sana said cautiously.

Campbell said nothing, and Sana began to wonder if their relationship really was beyond repair. It hurt that something like this could have come between them; when you were a group of smugglers on the wrong side of the law, true friends were few and far between, but she’d never hesitated to count Campbell as one of them. He was allowed to call her Sana; most of their contacts would have been swiftly excommunicated if they’d tried. (She still called him Campbell, despite his insistences, but that was one of those friendly-banter parts of their relationship that she’d always enjoyed, and she thought he did too).

She’d met his family, and the nephews he adored; he’d met her crew. But maybe none of that mattered as much as she’d thought.

She resisted the urge to prompt Campbell or check whether the connection was still active. Finally, Campbell said, “Nereid isn’t exactly in the neighbourhood. You’d have a pretty long trek to get out here.”

Sana stiffened. “If you’d rather we didn’t make the trip-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Campbell cut in quickly. “But you’d be going pretty far out of your way just to call in on little ol’ me. What’s the cargo?”

“Four cases of Nereien chocolates,” said Sana. “I got them at a pretty good rate.”

“Those are my favourites,” Campbell said, and she could hear the surprise in his voice. “They’re rare, too.”

“Call it a peace offering,” Sana replied.

“You don’t need to make peace with me, Sana,” said Campbell. “You never did.”

This time, it was Sana’s turn to say nothing. After a few moments, Campbell said, “Call me when you’re on the approach, and I’ll come meet you at the landing site.”

“I…” Sana had been about to say, ‘I’ll look forward to it,’ but she wasn’t sure how it would be received. She settled for, “Thank you, Campbell. I’ll be in touch. Sana Tripathy out.”

“It was hard for me to get a read on him,” Sana told Arkady. “There were a lot of awkward silences, and… I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He told me before that he wasn’t angry at me, and I believe him, but he seemed… disappointed, maybe? Or, not disappointed, but… like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I guess I can’t blame him.”

Arkady’s mouth twisted, but she said, “Honestly, I think you’re over-thinking this, Sana. If he says he’s not angry, and he’s still willing to trade with us, then what’s the issue? Things are bound to be kind of awkward, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything else going on here. You guys can clear the air in person once we land on Telemachus.”

Sana sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just-” She hesitated, and then forged ahead with the other thing that had been bothering her. “Remember how you said that Campbell seemed friendlier than usual, when we called him to ask for new IDs? Almost like he was… hitting on me?”

“Yeah,” said Arkady with a smirk. It faded as she put two and two together. “It seemed suspicious, combined with the fact that we didn’t know who our leak was – evidence pointed to Campbell being the source. But if he wasn’t, then…”

“Then I guess he was just… hitting on me?” Sana said uncertainly. “And I don’t really know what to make of that. You’ve always teased me about how friendly we are, about how one day I’ll ‘ride off into the sunset to grow tomatoes with Campbell’-”

“Okay, I said that one time,” said Arkady. “But in general – yeah. You guys are close. Closer than the rest of us. I’m friendly with him, and he and Krejjh have that weird spicy-food rapport, but that’s all through you. You guys are the ones who have the… connection. Let’s face it, we wouldn’t have gotten half the discounts that we did over the years if it wasn’t for you.”

“So… What do you think I should do about it?”

Arkady laughed. “The hell if I know! Shit, Sana, you remember who you’re talking to, right? Arkady ‘one night and run’ Patel? I have no idea how Violet and I are even still together.”

Sana laughed as well, and felt the knot that had settled in her chest after she’d walked in on Arkady and Violet finally begin to ease. She’s still your best friend, she thought. She’s still Arkady. She hasn’t left you.

“Don’t do yourself down,” she told Arkady. “You and Violet are great together. I know you guys will make it work.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” said Arkady drily, and Sana knew that this was her way of deflecting the conversation away from a route she wasn’t yet ready to go down. “But, back to you and Campbell.”

Sana sighed. “It’s probably a moot point, anyway. Even if he was, well, flirting with me… I’ve probably messed it all up. Nothing kills a potential romance like accusing the other person of collaborating with the IGR.”

“So, uh,” Arkady shifted uncomfortably, which Sana knew was a sign of her gearing herself up to tackle Feelings. “Is this a potential… romance? Or… was it?”

“Maybe?” Sana admitted, shrugging. She could feel herself blushing slightly. “I mean, it’s Campbell. You joking about us settling down always seemed like… a joke. But he’s – funny, and sweet, and the world’s most devoted uncle. And he’s never let us down. I didn’t think he’d sold us out because I didn’t trust him, I thought it because I know what horrors the IGR is capable of.”

“I thought it because human beings are assholes,” muttered Arkady. Sana raised an eyebrow at her. “Okay, not the point, I know. Look-” She shifted uncomfortably again, like she was sitting on hot nails, with a pained grimace to match. “If things go… well… with Campbell, and he doesn’t hate you – which I bet you now that he won’t, because it’s you – then you can decide what to do from there. Maybe try just… asking him out to dinner?”

“Ah, romantic tandem eating,” Sana joked. “What could go wrong?”

“Hey, at least Campbell’s not a Dwarnian,” said Arkady in amusement. “He’s not gonna go inviting the rest of the crew.”

“God, it’s a miracle those two ever got it together,” Sana said fondly, enjoying the temporary change of subject. “You might think you’re bad at giving love advice, but I guarantee that you’re better at it than Krejjh.”

She expected Arkady to laugh, but instead she looked thoughtful. “I think you’d be surprised, actually,” she said, but refused to elaborate, no matter how much Sana needled her.

True to his word, Campbell was there waiting for them when the Rumor touched down on Telemachus. Sana’s conversation with him on the approach had been brief, but friendly, which gave her hope. Now that she was listening for it, she thought that he sounded warmer when talking to her, compared to the way that he addressed the rest of the crew. But maybe she was reading too much into things.

He was standing a safe distance away from the landing point, one hand in his pocket. As the hatch popped open and began to lower, he raised one hand in a cheerful wave, grinning broadly.

“Well, he doesn’t look mad,” Arkady muttered to Sana. “Unless he’s planning to kill us with kindness. Also, is it just me, or is he kinda dressed up?”

Sana had been thinking the same. Campbell was wearing what looked like a black leather jacket, and a pair of dark jeans that appeared brand new – a far cry from his usual worn overcoat and patched cargo pants. He was wearing the same heavy, steel-toed work boots as ever, but she could have sworn that he’d cleaned them up a bit.

They weren’t the only ones who’d noticed. “Campbell’s looking sharp,” Brian commented cheerfully from behind her. Sana glanced over her shoulder to find him smiling expectantly at her.

“Uh, yeah, I guess he is,” she said. Krejjh looked between the two of them, obviously trying to grasp the unspoken subtext of their exchange. As Sana descended the ramp, she heard them whisper with a characteristic lack of subtlety,

“Oh! Is this a human courtship ritual?”

“Maybe, dude,” said Brian, and Sana fought off the urge to cover her face with her hand. Instead, she called out, “Hey, Campbell.”

“Sana,” he said as she came closer, and there was definitely a warmth in his voice and in his eyes that hadn’t always been there. “It’s good to see you. How was your trip? Did you have any problems at the checkpoint?”

Sana shook her head. “The credentials that you sent ahead for us worked like a charm, thanks. We probably shouldn’t hang about here for too long, but as of right now, the IGR isn’t actively on our tail.”

“Well, thank heaven for small mercies, then,” said Campbell drily. “Follow me, and we’ll get- uh, is the rest of the crew staying on the ship?”

Sana looked behind her and saw that the rest of the crew was still clustered at the top of the ramp, watching them. Krejjh was grinning madly.

“Oh, for the love of God,” Sana muttered. Obviously, someone had come up with the bright idea to give them some ‘alone time’, and they were all being fantastically unsubtle about it. “No, they’re coming,” she told Campbell, shooting Arkady a look that said Get over here, or else.

Arkady sauntered down the ramp, closely followed by Violet and Krejjh, with Brian bringing up the rear, his arms piled high with the boxes of chocolates that they’d picked up on Nereid. “Hey, Campbell. How’s it been going?”

“Pretty uneventful, apart from aiding and abetting the odd fugitive here and there,” Campbell said with a wry smile. “How about you?”

“The same. Totally uneventful,” Arkady deadpanned.

“This trip is the most exciting thing that’s happened to us all year,” Brian put in, brightly.

“Well, I can’t tell you how honoured I am,” joked Campbell, as Krejjh snickered. Campbell’s gaze landed on Violet. “And you must be the new recruit.”

“Violet Liu. It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Campbell,” said Violet politely, shaking Campbell’s hand.

“Likewise. I’d tell you to call me Ignatius, but even Sana refuses to, and I’ve known her for six years,” said Campbell ruefully. “Still, just ‘Campbell’ is fine. Anyway, as you said, Sana, we should probably keep moving – if you’ll all follow me, I’m parked nearby. It’s a five-seater, so we might have to get creative with the seating arrangements.”

“I can sit on Krejjh’s lap,” Brian offered, and Sana thought she caught a brief look of disappointment on Arkady’s face. She smirked.

Everything seemed completely normal between the six of them that evening, from the ride in Campbell’s car to going out for dinner and drinks. Campbell had a knack for picking the most unlikely hole-in-the-wall eateries that looked terrible but served almost unfairly delicious food, a different one each time.

Sana mostly sat back and observed as the others chattered and dug in, watching Campbell’s eyes crinkle as he drew Violet into conversation, watching as he pulled a bottle of hot sauce out almost unseen and passed it to Krejjh, who crowed and immediately began to empty it over everything. She watched Arkady teasing Brian over his bizarre food combinations, goading him into trying a strange-looking tropical fish that sat in the middle of the table.

At one point, she caught Krejjh looking at her enquiringly with one of their pairs of eyes, the other pair fixed on Violet as she attempted to – slightly tipsily – explain some complex biological concept. She smiled to let them know that she was fine, and quickly reapplied herself to her food.

She had a tendency to forget how astute Krejjh really was, and how much they tended to play up the ‘dumb alien who doesn’t understand human social conventions’ for effect. Maybe Arkady was onto something.

The truth was, she was enjoying just seeing her crew get the chance to take a breather. They hadn’t really stopped since their flight from the IGR, not daring to stay put for long on any one planet or moon – even once they were fairly sure that the Regime had given up pursuing them, too busy trying to contain the unfolding situation on New Jupiter.

They’d never been able to feel safe anywhere. Until now.

Thinking this, she looked up at Campbell, only to find him already watching her with a smile on his face.

When it came time to buy the next round of drinks, Sana volunteered, making her way to the bar and attempting to get the bartender’s attention. After she’d finally succeeded in making their order, she leaned on the bar – and jumped as Campbell came up next to her.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you off-guard,” he said apologetically. “I called your name, but the patrons of this place’re… not the quietest.”

Sana laughed a little. “It’s fine. Guess I’m still a little on edge.”

She smiled up at him, and there was a pause. Again.

“I, uh, I thought you might want a hand carrying those drinks,” Campbell said.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” said Sana. The bartender was beginning to line the drinks up on the bar for her, still filling the enormously tall glass belonging to Krejjh, because Dwarnians processed human alcohol in very different ways (and quantities). If Sana wanted to speak to Campbell in private, now was the time.

“Listen, I-” she began at the same time as Campbell said, “I was wondering-”

“Oh, uh, you go first.”

“No, please.”

Okay then. Sana gathered her courage – ridiculous, that this should feel more intimidating than facing down the Fowleys - and asked, “Will you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”

Campbell looked momentarily surprised, then chuckled. “And here I was about to ask you how long you’re planning to dock on Telemachus, as a roundabout way of working up to the same question,” he said. “Yes. I’d love to have dinner with you, Sana.”

Sana let Campbell be the one to choose the restaurant, conceding to his more up-to-date knowledge of Telemachus and his excellent taste in eateries. The following night, sat across from Campbell in a cozy little restaurant with her mouth full of the best beef rendang she’d ever eaten, she knew she’d made the right choice.

“Campbell, this is incredible,” she enthused, not even caring that her mouth was full. Campbell laughed, digging into his own bakmi goreng.

“How do you always know such good places to eat?” Sana demanded. Campbell shrugged.

“I didn’t get where I am without knowing how to make connections, and you’d be amazed at how much more open people are to doing business after a plate of really good food,” he said. “But I’m also not gonna pay through the nose for them to get blinded on moonshine and puke it all up later that night.” Sana almost choked on her mouthful as she started to laugh. “So, I look for establishments that don’t charge too much. And mind their own business.”

“So, you’re picking up the tab for tonight, then?” Sana asked playfully.

“I figured we could haggle,” Campbell replied, deadpan, and Sana laughed again.

She’d been worried about a dinner with just the two of them becoming stilted and formal, but so far it had been anything but. Determined to avoid the clichéd “outfit crisis”, she had dressed more or less the same as she did on the ship, minus her trusty wide, yellow tool belt with its hundreds of pockets, and a few engine oil stains. She missed its reassuring weight around her hips, though she was wearing a wide black belt to make up for it, with a vest and her signature knee-high boots (or as Arkady called them, her “space pirate boots”) over a loose green blouse and neopolyfibre jeans.

Arkady had performed an exaggerated double-take when she saw Sana. “Wow, Sana, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a wrench in your pocket before,” she said with mock surprise.

“That’s not true,” said Sana lightly. “Remember when we infiltrated that ball held by Commander Grandwin on Qilin?”

“No,” said Arkady deliberately. “I don’t remember. I’ve repressed it. That corset was hideous.”

“You looked good in it.”

“I couldn’t move in it! And I had nowhere to put my weapons. I had to strap a gun to my garter.”

Violet, who had been listening in on their conversation while brewing a pot of coffee, suddenly looked very interested. “Sorry, you strapped a gun to your what?” she asked in amusement.

“Uhhh…” Arkady froze, torn between playing to her girlfriend’s clear interest and denying any recollection of the incident in question. Sana winked at Violet.

“Tell you what, after we set off from Telemachus I’ll find us a nice formal ball to go to, and Kady can give you a real-life demonstration.”

“You’re dead to me,” Arkady hissed at her. Sana waved cheerfully at her and left the kitchen.

When Campbell had seen her, the first thing he’d said was, “Is it clichéd if I say you look nice?”

Sana grinned. “A little, but sometimes clichés are good.”

She’d been expecting at least a few minutes of awkward small talk at first, but no sooner had they sat down at their rickety little table than Campbell said,

“So, you’ve met my buddy Red Gregor – was he favouring his left leg, by any chance, when you saw him?”

“Uhh…” Sana tried to cast her mind back. Most of what had happened on Elion was a blur of her breaking the speed limit while Arkady tried to coach Violet through the Carmen Gambit, but she remembered Red Gregor after a bit: a thin-faced man who looked to be half-Chinese, half-Latino, and spoke with a strong Irish twang. He had, in fact, walked with a slight limp.

“Sure, I think he said it was prosthetic?”

“It is,” Campbell confirmed. “But what’s really funny is how he got it…”

After Elion, though, it didn’t take them long to get onto the topic of the “leak” aboard the Rumor. Campbell said, “Listen, I swear I’m not bringing this up because I’m angry with you, because I’m not-”

Sana tensed, and put down her fork. “Honestly, Campbell, you have every right to be,” she said. “I… I should have trusted you more. It wasn’t that I didn’t – it was that I was afraid of what the IGR might do to get their way. If it hadn’t been for my crew, I could’ve-”

Campbell held up a hand and shook his head. “If I didn’t know by now that you’d do anything to protect your crew, I’d be a damn fool,” he said. “I got that. And maybe if I’d been more level-headed… I could’ve helped you guys in some way. I know; you said it wasn’t safe. But I’ve had some time to think about this, and it bothered me, thinking that maybe I could have done more.

“What you said, about the people I care about – my nephews – and what I’d be willing to do to protect them… You were right. I really don’t like to think about what I’d be willing to do.” Campbell’s voice wavered slightly, and he cleared his throat. “But I also know that they’re not the only ones I’d… do almost anything to keep safe.”

Sana looked at him uncertainly. Campbell shook his head.

“That came out – that wasn’t what I meant to say. Look, I know I sounded angry on our call, and I know you’ve convinced yourself it’s because you all ‘screwed me over’ and did me out of what I was owed, and that I’m somehow keeping score.” Campbell said all this not angrily, but with a quiet intensity that nevertheless made Sana a little nervous.

“But that’s not it. If I was angry, it was because this is what the IGR always does – it sows fear, paranoia, and distrust. Even among people like us. And I was angry because… because you were light years away from me, in some kind of trouble, and there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do to help you.”

But I also know that they’re not the only ones I’d… do almost anything to keep safe. Campbell’s words suddenly made sense to Sana, and her mouth opened in surprise. Before she could say anything, Campbell said,

“I know you don’t think of yourself as someone who needs help or protection. And I’d never try to force it on you, but... You should know that it’s not always about favours and deals, owing someone or being owed. Sometimes, it’s just about people caring about you.”

Sana’s throat closed up, and she looked down at her mostly-finished bowl of food. The truth was that he was right; before a few weeks ago, she would have baulked at the idea of needing protection from anyone. She let Arkady watch her back, but that was different. She looked out for Arkady as much as Arkady looked out for her, even if Arkady didn’t realise it. Not all kinds of protection involved putting yourself between someone else and a bullet.

She’d always prided herself on being tough and self-sufficient. She’d built her reputation up from nothing; she had to be. She hated to be in anyone’s debt, because in her experience, you never knew when and how they might choose to collect. As a woman – above all, a brown woman – trying to make her way in a cutthroat world, she had to be that much more invincible.

But she thought about the way that Arkady had shoved her shoulder into Sana’s on the Gay Louisa to get her out of range of one of the security bots. She thought of the way, on New Jupiter, that Violet’s mouth had pressed into a line and she’d pressed Sana down into a chair with surprising strength and held her there while she treated her injury. She thought about seeing Brian wielding a gun for the first time, his face intent, and of Krejjh gunning the ship into overdrive to get all of them to safety.

Maybe she was learning that it was okay to let her friends look after her too.

“I’ve overstepped – I’m sorry,” said Campbell in a rush, and Sana looked up at him, coming back to herself. “I shouldn’t have-”

“No, you haven’t overstepped,” said Sana quietly, and he stopped. “I… think you’re right. And…” Campbell waited as she gathered her thoughts.

“And I think I understand what you were trying to tell me before,” she finished. “About not keeping score. It’s hard for me to make an exception to those rules, but… I can try.” She gave Campbell a half-smile. “I’m not used to being on the receiving end. Of having other people try to protect me. But maybe I’m beginning to get that it’s a two-way street.”

“I’m more than willing to help show you,” said Campbell, with such quiet sincerity that Sana felt herself blushing.

“Thanks.”

Sensing the need to lighten the tone a little, Campbell said jokingly, “Of course, don’t think this gets ya out of bartering the next time you have cargo to offload.”

“Why would I miss out on the chance to take advantage of your atrocious negotiating skills?” Sana returned easily. Campbell snorted in spite of himself, and then pretended to clutch at his chest as if mortally wounded.

“You’ve cut me to the quick, Captain Tripathi.”

“You were right about something else, too,” Sana said, remembering. “Not that any of us would have guessed, in a million years…”

At Campbell’s look of confusion, she explained: “On our call, you said – something like, ‘You’re flying through space. We’re light years apart, and we’re talking. Someone from three hundred years ago wouldn’t be able to comprehend it.’ You were talking about other possible explanations for our leak, and as it turned out, that was it. That was the explanation.”

Campbell raised an eyebrow. “I’m going to need something much stronger for this story, aren’t I?” he asked, gesturing to his glass of wine.

“Significantly,” Sana agreed.

They got through several glasses of a strong local spirit (it had nothing on engine-room moonshine, but was strong enough for Sana to feel its effects) as Sana told the whole story: about the swarm, Emily and Alvy’s discoveries, Thasia and the Other Violet, the way they’d pieced everything together, Violet’s Plan B, and their final confrontation and flight from the IGR. She spoke in low tones, their conversation easily drowned out by the loud chatter of the other patrons.

Campbell listened spellbound, occasionally swearing quietly (or not-so-quietly) in response to a development in the tale. He had always been a good audience – normally she and Arkady would take it in turns to tell stories about their exploits, Arkady mostly contributing sarcastic commentary at first until the moonshine loosened her up enough that she would take over narrating, Krejjh chiming in at appropriate – or inappropriate – moments with an exclamation or an oddly specific detail.

It felt strange to be telling it on her own, but enjoyable, too. When she described Violet grabbing Arkady and kissing her as they fled New Jupiter, Campbell stared at her in disbelief for several seconds and then wheezed with laughter.

“So Arkady finally found someone who can give as good as she gets?” he asked, shaking his head. “I thought I sensed… something last night, but I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into things.”

“It can be hard to tell, with Arkady,” Sana agreed. “But honestly, I think the less she talks about it, the more it… matters.”

Eventually, the conversation reached a natural lull, and Sana realised it was almost midnight: they’d been out for almost four hours.

“Campbell…” she began, and then stopped.

“I know, it’s late,” said Campbell, recognising the double-tap on her comm that told her the time. “I guess we should call it a night.”

“Would you like to come back to the ship?” Sana asked him, feeling almost shy. It wasn’t uncommon for Campbell to walk with them back to the Rumor after a night of drinking, usually helping Brian to support Krejjh’s weight while they sang Dwarnian battle hymns with the words in the wrong order. (Or so Brian told her, anyway). But this was a little different. “Or, if you’d rather head home, we can-”

“I don’t have anywhere to be,” said Campbell with a smile. “Lead the way.”

Neither of them said anything much as they walked back to where the Rumor was docked, ducking down various side streets and doubling back on themselves just in case they were being tailed. Sana didn’t sense any immediate danger, but it would just be sloppy not to. She kept her hand within easy reach of the micro-blaster tucked just inside her vest.

The ship was dark when they approached, but Sana doubted that any of the crew was asleep just yet. She used her radio key to unlock the door, and the ramp quietly lowered down to the ground.

The lights on the Rumor were motion-activated, and Sana had always liked the way they gradually turned on when she came back to the ship at night, like they were welcoming her back. In the days when she’d been a crew of one, it had been a comfort.

Sana expected they’d find the crew gathered together in the mess hall, but as she and Campbell walked through the ship’s corridors, there was no sign of anyone. Sana was slightly suspicious – it wasn’t like any of them to go to bed this early. Surely none of them could have known that she’d bring Campbell back to the ship?

“So… When do you think was the last time you actually came on board?” she asked Campbell, to break the silence.

Campbell hummed thoughtfully. “It’s been a good three years. I see you’ve made some upgrades here and there.”

“Yeah, and we even got a new coffee maker, finally,” Sana said drily.

“Oh God, I remember that ancient old thing you used to have. Didn’t Arkady salvage it from a skip on Astraeus?”

“Something like that.” They paused outside the kitchen. “Would you… like a cup?” Sana asked.

Campbell raised one eyebrow and gave her a roguish smile. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was an invitation, Captain,” he said.

“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, Campbell,” Sana said, turning away so that Campbell wouldn’t see her blush, and leading the way into the kitchen.

“Call me Ignatius,” Campbell said, unexpectedly.

Sana paused in the middle of stretching up to reach the only two (thankfully) clean cups left in the cupboard. It seemed like a small thing, but names carried a lot of meaning, a lot of weight. She’d thought long and hard about the name Sana Tripathi when she’d chosen it, after the uprising. It had represented a new start, new possibilities.

She knew that Campbell, like everyone else in their line of work, had other names that he often went by. But he’d only ever been Campbell to her.

“All right… Ignatius,” she said, trying it out. Campbell smiled at her, warm and fond.

They carried their cups of coffee into the mess hall, and Campbell raised his eyes as he caught sight of the hammock strung up on one side of the room.

“That’s also new. Are those… safety harnesses?”

“Admittedly, not my finest piece of engineering,” Sana admitted. “It was meant to be for morale.”

“Does anyone actually use it?”

Sana felt her face warm again as she considered how best to answer that question. “From time to time.”

“Can I try it out?” Campbell asked playfully.

“Sure, it should hold your weight.”

Campbell set his coffee cup down on the ground by the hammock and cautiously sat down on it, and when it didn’t give way under his weight, swung his legs up and lay down fully.

“This is actually pretty comfortable,” he said in a tone of slight surprise. “The holes are a little unnerving, but it’s a solid hammock.”

“Thanks. I really should take it apart and put the safety harnesses back, but I think the crew like it.”

“I would say ‘Who needs safety harnesses?’, but I know how Krejjh flies,” joked Campbell. “Can it hold two people?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was an invitation,” said Sana. She smirked at Campbell, and then added, “Ignatius.”

Campbell’s eyes darkened, and he sat up and reached out a hand. Sana took it, and allowed Campbell to pull her down until – with a little manoeuvring – she was lying next to him on the hammock.

Their bodies were pressed flush against each other, and Sana was sure that Campbell could feel her heart pounding against his chest. Campbell reached up and gently smoothed a piece of stray hair away from her face.

“Is this okay?” he asked in a low rumble. “Are we moving too fast?”

“This is just fine,” Sana replied, and kissed him.

Campbell’s hand came up to gently cup the back of her head as he kissed her back, sending an almost electric thrill through her. Sana extricated her hand from between them and laid it against Campbell’s cheek, kissing him more intently now, inhaling faint notes of aftershave and cologne.

By the time they broke apart, the hammock was swaying gently. Sana smiled at Campbell, feeling a little punch drunk.

“This honestly feels like it’s been… a long time coming,” she said.

“I think it has,” Campbell agreed. “Do you, uh… Should we relocate to somewhere less public?” At such close quarters, Sana could see him blushing slightly.

She thought about it, and the not insignificant chance that one of the crew – who most definitely were not asleep – could walk in on them at any moment.

“Let’s stay here for a little while longer,” she said. “I think it’s only fair that I get to have a turn.”

[unclescroogie]

Icicle

@askarthurgabriel

Gentle fallen leaves and blades of grass, they filled his vision and met the base of standing wooden giants. Arms reaching into the sky, trees were the true guardians of the Earth. He had decided this long ago. Having seen how they stretched so high up, behemoths of wood and life, it seemed to him that he was always astonished by the sheer height the organisms could reach… They were so different from animals and from other forms of life, it fascinated him. But that wasn’t why he had come here. No, to admire plant life was one of the last things he wanted to do right now. He was on an adventure, that was an obvious thing, and as such he wanted to keep moving. Cautious movements as he remembered distant and quiet tales. 

Danger and death was never a concern for Scrooge McDuck however. He always encountered it and as such it was something he grew a taste for. But it was always better to work smarter, and not harder. To fight on in a way that was safest and easiest, that was his objective. He would work harder if it kept him safe, but that was about it. But of course it seemed in the moment there was no clear distinction. His white feathered body practically blended in with the pure snow that fell on the ground, sparkling tears of heaven’s angels that coated the ground in a carpet of ice and frost. Such beauty is crystallized water, and yet he couldn’t help but loathe it so much in the moment. The moon’s reflection wasn’t too bad, but he knew the sun’s would be in a few hours, never mind how cold it was.

Donald had nearly died due to conditions like these… Migration for Christmas should be, for the most part, taken seriously unless one could keep themselves extremely warm. He remembered having to help nurse his nephew back to health– he didn’t mind as much as he let on but then again he supposed it was just the undying worry. His hand pressed against the wooden base of a tree as he found that he could hear a noise off in the distance. Something, or someone, was there in the distance. Talking, movement, footsteps, there was someone there. He had no idea of what was nearby, all he knew was he was going through the motions of his explorations. Searching for some wonderful piece, some story to tell, and here it might be… Although not the one he wanted.

He was surprised when he saw a human, a creature he hadn’t seen in a long time. Humans were not uncommon, but they were by no means common for him. He didn’t see them around much, they appeared in Duckburg every now and again, and they certainly had their events that he knew about. But at the same time they were not normal in his day-to-day life. Not that he minded that much, he’s heard mostly horror stories about them, but at the same time he wasn’t scared nor worried. The man couldn’t be harmful after all, and if any human was he was faster, smaller, and he was sure he could outsmart one. Despite how he was only three feet tall, he could figure it out if the time ever came to him. He watched the man for a moment, and when his eyes had locked upon him and they exchanged glances, he found himself so startled that he unconsciously took a step back.

The ground came up to meet him quickly, and he was alarmed at the sudden topple. Snow cushioned his fall, but that didn’t stop him from getting the powder into his clothing, soaking him and getting the icy water, which was melting, locked in his feathers. It froze him and he found himself shivering just a bit, and worst of all he could have sworn he had cried out when he fell thus giving away his position, existence, and the fact that he wasn’t a hallucination or anything of the like all in one go. He could’ve had a chance to escape and now he had just ruined that. Hopefully this human wasn’t a threat, hopefully those memories of sea salt ice cream were correct and weren’t just strange dreams or false memories that came from the delusions of an old man.

Seeing his silhouette crest the hill as he rose to his feet, brushing off the snow, he felt the anxiety begin to grow. He was hesitant to let himself get too close. Confusion and worry, the mixture of the sudden encounter and the exposure to the cold– he was sure this was just going to end up like the sea cave from so long ago. Where Donald and Gladstone had to save his sorry self and take him straight to the hospital without much else to do. Maybe not as bad, and with significantly less need for a cast, but still bad enough to warrant his contacting relatives for some help.

“Hello?” He greeted, trying to keep his composure, and succeeding rather well despite the shivering.

((If you don’t want to reply to this starter/you prefer to plot before RPing feel free to IM me, I wont be offended or upset. These starters are here solely to cut out that middle man known as awkwardness.))

[volleyballbabeimagines]

hiiii can i request an angst scenario w kageyama just hit me with it please im begging you

ILOVE ANGST AND I LOVE MY BOY KAGEYAMA. YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR IT BUT HEREHAVE SOME SOULMATE AU STUFF BECAUSE I LOVE MAKING MYSELF CRY

Today had been relatively normal. You’d finished all your homework during your lunch hour so you’d have nothing to worry about when you got home except for studying. Graduation was soon too, so that was sortof a downer when you let your mind focus on it. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to graduate, it was just that it would be hard because you would be parting ways with a lot of good friends you’d made.

Goodbyes were never your forte. Luckily there was still a little time left before that, so you would cherish what time you had left withall of your friends.

When school was over, you followed everyone else out, only you didn’t head home. Instead, your feet carried you to the gym like they typically did after classes. When you slid the doors open, you were surprised to see it was empty with the exception ofone person.

“Oh? Where’s everyone else?”

Kageyama looked over, spinning aball in his hands. Now that he was a 3rd year, he had become captain of the Karasuno Volleyball team. It wasn’t a position he’d originally wanted, in fact he felt like it didn’t quite suit him in the beginning. Over time though he’d fallen into place with the position beautifully, and his teammates thought he was an excellentcaptain. The two of you had been friends since he joined the team his first year, thought it had been a little bit of a bumpy start. You found him to be quite pompous, but he got over that rather quick. He intrigued you, really.

“Did you forget? There’s no practice today.” He threw the ball up and hit it over the net, watching it hit the floor and bounce off of it.

He’d been stressed out lately, given the end of the year was drawing close, and college was the next step he’d be taking. He was morestressed out about the fact that he’d already received so many university acceptance letters at this point, and deciding where he’dgo was a difficult choice. The best one was a school in America that had accepted him. It intimidated him, however. That was so far awayfrom here, with so many differences.

It also meant you wouldn’t be there.

“Tobio, are you okay?”

He blinked, looking up to see you’d retrieved the ball for him, brow arched up while you stared at him in confusion. For a while now he’dbeen able to see the little mark on your wrist, a mark that symbolized something that almost terrified him. It was a mark one often saw on someone that was intended to be their soulmate. It wasn’t unusual for people to see it at such a young age, but for Kageyama, it scared him.

“I’m fine. Toss to me.”

You wanted to ask. He could see it, you were after all so easy for him to read after being friends for so long. But whatever you wanted to say or ask never came out and you tossed to him like he asked, as if nothing was even wrong.

You stayed well after dark, tossing the ball to him. He was so focused on it that anything you said to him rolled off of him easily. To you, itwas almost annoying, and it meant something was going on in his head that he wasn’t telling you about. He was easy to read in general, andif something was bugging him people could see it a mile away. Your hands were beginning to grow sore from hitting the ball back andforth for so long, and your eyes glanced at the clock on the wall.

“It’s late. We should probably-”

“One more.”

You blinked. This wasn’t quite like him. Sure, he was devoted to the sport and could go hours practicing, but he never seemed to stay thislate just tossing the ball like this.

Something was wrong.

“Tobio.” Your tone was stern almost, and you gripped the ball tight. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve been saying that for a week now. Something is wrong.”

“No, there isn’t.”

“Tobio-”

“Just toss the damn ball, y/n!”

You saw red. Well, you think you did. All week, he’d been quite moody, frustrated. You wondered if maybe the stress of upcoming exams was the reason why, and yes, Kageyama could be brash when there was something bothering him. He wanted the ball? Fine.

You tossed it right into his face.

________________________

“Why are you avoiding y/n?”

3weeks had passed since the incident in the gym. 3 weeks for more contact with that university in America. 3 weeks of practice.

3weeks since you’d come near him

You were mad. He understood that. And for whatever reason, Kageyama was angry too. With you. With himself? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t understand why. Even as a child, he’d always had issues in sorting out his emotions. Lately, they were all over the place.

“I’m not.”

Hinata had known Kageyama long enough to read into his emotions somewhat. He could tell that when the raven haired boy was grouchy. He also knew that he had feelings for you. He saw the way Kageyama would look at you when you weren’t looking, and the way he’d smile when he was around you. His eyes would crinkle in the most delightful of ways, and it was not often he smiled genuinely. It wasn’t scary when you were the one he was smiling at.

“Really? Then why do you get that nervous look on your face when someone asks then?”

You were mad at him. You’d made that very clear when you spiked the ball directly into his face that night.

Kageyama was mad too.

“You should really talk to her. She seemed pretty upset earlier when Yamaguchi asked about you.”

A grunt escaped him, and he leaned back in his seat.

“I get you’re scared to admit you have a thing for her, but isn’t this a bit harsh even for you?”

He was terrified. That this was fleeting. He was scared to admit he was bound to you, and ignoring the problem would make it go away like it made everything else go away. It worked before. He could recount the many times it had worked.

But it wasn’t that simple this time around.

____________________________________

You stared at the name along your wrist, noticing that it was fraying almost, like someone had taken a cloth and wiped it over Tobio’s name, smearing it. Long ago you’d noticed your own name on his wrist, and you expected him to speak up about it. The words never came though, and you would feel your heart sink into the depths of your gut further and further with each exchange. Sometimes there were people out there that did not wish to accept that they were bound to someone, especially if it was someone they seemingly never had an interest in to begin with.

People were often disappointed that it wasn’t someone they had been crushing on. It wasn’t uncommon. People would rather be lonely for eternity than accept the person they hadbeen bound to.

The marks would fade to a degree, and life would go on for those people.

You didn’t want to be one of those people though.

Your eyes flicked the clock on your dresser. Practice would be over soon and Kageyama would be heading home. Your feet carried you downstairs and out of the house, and even though it was beginning to rain, you didn’t grab an umbrella. There was no time. Well, there was, but to you things could not continue to go on this way. There was no need to run, you’d get there in time before Kageyama was gone and already home.

There was no care as the rain soaked your hair and clothes, no care as you nearly slipped and fell, and no care as people yelled at you to bemore careful as you ran past them. As you were crossing the street to get to the school, someone nearly ran over you and had honked rather angrily, but even then, you did not care whatsoever.

“Kageyama!!!”

He stopped, having already been on his way home at this point, when he heard his name. He’d not expected you, nor did he expect to see you drenched head to toe.

“Y/n?”

“I love you!”

Time stopped for him.

Denying those feelings that he was scared to admit to even himself came to mind. He could keep denying it, denying what he really knew he felt, and what he knew the two of you were.

He’d been running away, because it scared him.

“What…?”

You inhaled, that anger from several weeks back returning. “I know you can see it. The mark I have.” You held your wrist up and tapped it,as though to remind him of the time. He seemed dumbfounded, and Kageyama was not stupid. Dense, but he was no idiot. “I see yourstoo. But you never…” No, you weren’t going to cry, no crying. “You don’t acknowledge it! You obviously know that it’s there, b-but it’s like you wish it wasn’t.”

No, that’s not true. I do know it’s there, I love that it’s there.

“Do you hate me or something? Do you hate that it’s me you’re bound to?”

No, of course not!

“Answer me, Tobio! Stop running away from it!”

Kageyama wanted to laugh because it was true. Hinata had been correct in his assessment of what he really was: a coward.

“Tobio!”

“I love you.” And that red string finally, after so long of being kept at bay, appeared and connected the two of you. You were crying as he closed the distance and embraced you, having long since dropped his umbrella, letting rain pelt his skin as his fingers slid through your hair and cradled your head to him as sobs wracked your body and the spill of hot tears could be felt on his quickly dampening shirt.

At last, that bond was set in place.