#im exhausted yall

[is-this-yuri]

i need a hug and a hot drink. and 20 dollars

[firsthumandisaster]

Did some updating to my rules, nothing super ground breaking, but I'm just trying to be more up front with things, I guess? I never really put much detail into my rules in years previous, so it felt like it was time to add some clearer defining lines about things. rambling got lengthy so more under the cut, sorry yall LOL

I also updated my pinned post with a link to my memes tag. I know that I don't share memes very often anymore, and part of that is knowing that my activity can have gaps of days or weeks at a time, I don't want the top 20 recent posts of my blog(s) to be all memes, you know? So, this opens up the ability to look at the memes I've shared and send things even if it isn't super recent! I mostly only share memes I know i'd want to do again and again, so they don't really expire in my interests. Just lemme know what meme its from if you send one!

And yeah, there is inclusion about plantcest in my rules and on my pinned. If you cannot play nice with each other, I won't have you in my space. I want to be able to write what I want, and of course I don't WANT to hurt anyone with my interests, but thats what blacklists, softblocking or blocking is for. I'll have tags for anything people want to be able to blacklist, but I'm done with feeling like I have to hide my interests from everyone. I'm not hurting real life people with my fictional writing, no one is dying, there's no real blood. Its JUST fiction, please. If you can't separate fiction from reality, you need to spend time doing other things with your energy.

[steddieas-shegoes]

“any regrets? anything you’d do differently?”

eddie knows the interviewer is just doing her job, probably doesn’t even realize that’s the worst question she could ask. but the guys tense and the air gets thick and something shifts inside eddie’s chest.

“it’s been two years and i still haven’t apologized.”

the interviewer doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but she doesn’t need to. he’s not gonna explain more than that and he doesn’t care if people make their own connections and excuses.

maybe steve will hear it. maybe robin will. maybe dustin will convince steve to call him.

or maybe he was cryptic for nothing and steve will keep ignoring his calls. he used to think his timing sucked until mike let it slip that he lets all calls go to his answering machine to avoid picking up when eddie calls him.

eddie only calls on bad nights, if he’s drunk or high, or sometimes on the nights that could only be better if steve was by his side. eddie calls most nights.

the interview is done and eddie is being whisked away, getting berated by their publicist about his answer to a question that can never have a good one. the guys are pretending not to listen, but failing. eddie loves them for trying.

the next interview, he stays quiet, at least as much as he can get away with. he fakes a smile, a laugh, whatever it takes to seem like he didn’t just admit that he fucked up on live television.

they get to sleep in their own beds tonight, but tomorrow is the start of their radio show tour to promote their album. it’ll be two weeks long, hitting the major stations daily until they’ve answered all the hard hitting questions like if gareth snores or if they ever find time to eat healthy on tour.

but his bed is his least favorite place to sleep, and no amount of tossing and turning is gonna give him what he needs.

so he calls steve.

“harrington’s house, you’ve reached the harrington who actually lives here.”

eddie’s so shocked that steve answered he barely even registers his words.

“hello?” steve’s voice turns serious. “anyone there?”

“stevie?”

eddie shouldn’t have started with that, but he wasn’t in control of his body anymore.

steve hangs up.

somehow it’s worse than if he hadn’t answered at all.

but eddie is fine. he is.

he’s gonna close his eyes and go to sleep and maybe not dream about dying or fucking up the only good thing he ever had.

his phone rings and he’s almost certain he’s dreaming already.

“hello?”

“sorry i panicked.”

steve’s voice is like a reverb in an arena, sending chills down eddie’s arms.

“you’re not the only one.”

“but…you called me.”

“because you never answer.”

“so why call? if i’m never gonna answer.”

“because if you do answer, i can hear your voice.”

steve sits with that answer for a minute before he speaks.

“dustin played me the interview.”

“yeah.”

“was it me? was i your regret?”

how could steve think that? how could the man who saved his life ever believe he was anything less than a gift? in no universe would eddie regret steve.

“no. my regret is making you ever think that you could be a mistake.”

eddie should end it there, let steve marinate with that. he knows no amount of apologies will actually help, but he could give it a try anyway.

“i’m sorry i left when you needed me. i’m sorry i was selfish and chose to get out and leave you behind. and i’m sorry none of my sorries even matter because it’s too late.”

for a minute—yes, eddie counts— there’s silence. and then there’s a small shuffling sound and eddie’s almost sure that steve’s gonna hang up.

instead, steve sounds like he’s holding back tears when he speaks.

“are you gonna come back?”

eddie can’t. he can’t just put a pause on the band or any of their plans. it’s not fair to the guys or the fans or himself.

but he can do something he should’ve done two years ago.

“will you come with me?”

the question hangs in the air for what feels like forever. steve may say no. that’s part of why eddie didn’t even ask the first time. but he may say-

“yes.”

“you will?”

“on one condition.”

“anything.”

“you stop trying to forget all the bad parts. the bad parts sucked, but they brought us together. running from them means running from me. at least hold my hand so i can run with you.”

eddie thinks maybe he could write a song about that.

and he thinks he’d like to hold steve’s hand while he does.

[menlove]

honestly i think a HUGE part of the issue is that most of the left doesn't really understand antisemitism

after wwii it became wildly Unpopular to be blatantly antisemitic. obviously, it still happened. but the result of this is that instead of antisemitism being studied as a historical and pervasive form of oppression that has been around for thousands of years & has many many precedents BEFORE the holocaust.... it became:

something just simply Rude to say or do. if you're a polite liberal/conservative or a leftist, it's just something that is socially unacceptable. there is no real weight to this.

something when FIRMLY believed is ONLY held by people like nazis and white supremacists. who, as we know, are The Enemy and none of us can ever be like them at all ever by the virtue of... not being them. no need to watch your own behaviors, bc you are not a nazi! only nazis could ever be Actually antisemitic

something that erupted out of the ground in germany in the early 20th century, culminated with the holocaust, and ended after. antisemitism did not exist before that and it was solved after when the saving grace of the united states and england liberated the jews from the nazis out of the goodness of their hearts

however absolutely none of this is true. antisemitism stretches back thousands of years and it has not, for the most part, been only "fringe" conspiracy theorists and white supremacists who perpetuate it

antisemitism has been, by and large, presented as very logical. throughout, again, the thousands of years of history of antisemitism, very regular people have been antisemites. and most of them had reasons they felt were perfectly logical and understandable and most of all just. jews were trying to kill their children, of course they hated them! jews were purposefully trying to keep them poor, of course they hated them! jews believed Wrong Things and were morally and spiritually corrupt, of course there was something wrong with them. jews betrayed their country, lost them a war that ended with their husbands and brothers and sons dead, and now were living among them and taking advantage of social benefits out of the goodness of the hearts of the german people, of COURSE they hated them! and the nazis themselves were backed up by science at the time. scientific racism was THE science at the time. charles darwin was a scientific racist. it was all very logical.

and did jews actually do these things? no. but these people saw enough proof that aligned well enough with their morals and their beliefs and their fears & so to them it was completely logical and justified. it wasn't a fringe theory that only an insane person would believe in, or something impolite. it was true to them. to their morals, to their fears, to their core beliefs. it was true.

and so now we see a LOT. a lot of leftists being dragged ass first into antisemitism. because they don't even think they CAN be antisemitic. THEY aren't nazis and THEY aren't white supremacists, of COURSE they aren't antisemitic. but... well. the jews are doing things that go against their morals. they're doing things that validate their fears. the jews are violating things that go against their core beliefs! so of COURSE it is LOGICAL that they should hate them. of course, it is still rude to say "the jews are evil" so it gets replaced with "zionist". (and before you ask yes i am anti-zionism and do deeply believe what israel is doing is unjust and cruel) but even that is slipping.

it is getting all the more popular to go that one step further and instead of just making posts like "spam the hanukkah tag because the Zionists need to learn what their religion stands for" that are blatantly just replacing "jews" with "zionists", they are logically moving to being mask off. if zionism is wrong and half the world's remaining jewish population lives in israel, what about the rest? aren't they suspect? would they not ALL commit atrocities if given the chance? aren't they all racist for believing they're an ethnicity? aren't they all complicit? aren't they all threatening our deeply held leftist beliefs? it's a little weird and everyone has been too quiet for too long bc it's been rude to say but now you can get 300k notes for posting blood libel so why would you keep quiet anymore?

why WOULDN'T you just say "thank god someone finally said it i was worried about stepping on toes" when someone makes a post full of antisemitic conspiracy theory. why WOULDN'T you say "i don't care if all of israel gets bombed and every single person dies after this lmfao they deserve it"? (which would wipe out, again, half the world's population of jews- many of whom living there are anti-zionist and actively protesting their government. or. you know. children.) why WOULDN'T you make posts about how jewish identity is just nazi aryanism? why wouldn't you make posts about how the jews are privileged in america bc they run hollywood and the economy? why WOULDN'T you say the star of david is a hate symbol to you now and that you mistrust anyone using it? or that you find anyone speaking hebrew suspect?

these are all perfectly logical. to you. and YOU are not a nazi or a white supremacist. so it can't be antisemitic.

[vacantgodling]

ngl i get that people hype up hating writing for the bit but like. idk. yall i Do actually really like writing. it is so satisfying and fun and rewarding and i get to look back what i made over and over again and get joy every single time.

yes writing is hard but if you hate it more than you love it im kinda like. idk. find another hobby?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

as someone who rarely listens to music, i am unceasingly in wonderment at the emotional connection many humans have to music as a medium. genres & styles & artists and all that jazz --you guys care a lot about this stuff. i sit marveling at the sheer commonplaceness of people feeling an intimate connection to individual songs & albums & musicians. to the point musical preferences are often considered a meaningful part of one's identity as an individual....thats crazy. so much passion...so much fierceness of feeling ...people say "you have to listen to this song" and i listen for 30 seconds and say "neat!" bc it is, it's neat! the chorus is catchy! i might tuck it away to hum to myself later. but for now im putting my earplugs back in returning to the glorious silence that my essence depends on the same way my lungs depend on an oxygen-rich atmosphere. u beset me with fascination

[imperial-agent]

how do i save wyll from larian's basement

[fellowfights]

I'm gonna be so honest with y'all. I don't take you seriously if you complain about the casting of the Percy Jackson show because the poc actors aren't "book accurate."

Because here's the deal. I remember when the internet threw a fit when Rue, a black character, was played by a black person. It didn't matter that it was book accurate, y'all didn't want to see a black person on screen.

For some of y'all, it's not that you are against adaptations straying from the source material- you are simply anti black.

If you are about to argue with me, I want you to ask yourself something. Did you not mind the race change of Grover, but you are against the casting of Annabeth? If that's true, maybe try to address that. Acknowledge it and try to deconstruct your anti-black biases.

[jewreallythinkthat]

One of the things that is frustrating me the most about the current I/P "discourse" is that myself and most other lefty Jews I know aren't even able to try and talk about peace and solutions to the issues faces in the Middle East because we are too busy having to fight for our own lives against waves of hate. If I didn't have to spend hours trying to explain what words literally mean to someone purposefully misusing them and straight up lying, maybe we could both be trying to do something about the current situation.

But that's not what most of the online antisemites want. It's never been about peace otherwise they'd actually engage with the Jewish community and listen to them instead of tokenizing people like JVP

[ghoulinfuschia]

I think the last time I made an animatic was like,,, maybe two years ago? So Im proud of this one. I wouldn't call it finished but idk if I have the energy to do the whole thing and having it sit in my computer was driving me insane, SOOOO here we are.

Ily Pomni <3333

Link to original video =>> ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNm5V2CQ1Jw&pp=ygUYVGhlIHNob3cgdGhhdCBuZXZlciBlbmRz )

[spoiledmilks]

He was so girlboss in the movie

[ghelullu]

The negativity here is, once again, fucking incredible.

Exclusive first day streaming for new releases is regularly around 20$. Is that a lot of money? Yes. A LOT. Is it - unfortunately these days - normal? Yes. I've seen the same thing with my friend's K-Pop releases. Is it Tobias fucking with us? No. Absolutely not.

I see this as them doing this for those who could not see it in a theatre so they don't have to wait the months until a DVD release, they said something like that in an interview and also that there's some struggle with getting a streaming release out. (And no, "just stream it for free" is not an option. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to host HD streaming for THAT many people?)

You can just wait for the Bluray release (which is technically already confirmed, plus it's Tobias "Physical Media" Forge.) and not buy the streaming ticket. I, for example, won't either, I hate streaming and don't have a ton of money, so I'll just buy the Bluray and watch it 9000 times. Nobody is forcing you. Tobias is not standing here with a guitar ready to smash it in your face if you don't buy 2 tickets. Just saying.

Please, learn how to enjoy things without panicking and seeking negativity everywhere, I'm begging.

[baphmochii]

I'm gonna share my personal opinion on Sal as a dominant partner.

Sal is a very awkward guy, however I personally see Sal as a soft dominant that can get a bit rough at times. I think it's fine if some fic writers wish to depict our prosthetic wearing man however they want, hopefully not in the worst way. I've obviously written smut of Sal being rough when it comes to sexual intercourse with the reader, I genuinely think Sal would be a bit shy at first but I think if his s/o like.. wanted to try it rough, I think Sal wouldn't mind trying out some rough sex with his s/o and I think he'd feel okay knowing they're okay with this too, if that makes sense? I can understand why most people wouldn't agree with this depiction of Sal, I respect that, the reason I'm making this post is to justify my posts of Sal Fisher.

In my opinion:

Despite my writings so far, whether some Sal Fisher simps like my writings or not. I'm gonna continue writing whatever I please. If you want my thoughts, I think Sal would be a kind, gentle and supportive lover to his s/o. I think Sal would be the dominant partner in his relationship with his s/o and in the best ways too. Sal would make sure his s/o takes care of themselves too like reminding them to hydrate, brush their teeth, getting enough rest, etc. and he'd reward them with affection (ex: kisses, snuggles, etc). Of course, Sal will always give affection to his s/o any way. Sal would do anything for his s/o regardless of anything.

When it comes to sex, I think Sal (again) is a soft dominant guy in the bed, he'd be very attentive to his s/o's needs while they're making love. Yes, I do think (as I've said before in this post) he can get rough, maybe homeboy feels good and he wants to make his s/o feel good too, man. I do know my writings don't make what I'm saying look good but hey.. don't judge me. I will be writing some soft sex with soft dominant Sal, I just like writing him how I.. I guess vision he would be or something like that? I respect if people don't agree with me or necessarily enjoy how I write Sal in my works so far.

My goofy goober ass is just thirsty but I also wanted to share some hot and steamy stuff ft. my handsome prosthetic wearing husband. I will continue writing stuff like that but I'm going to be working on some other stuff involving Sal, I'll also try to work on stuff from my inbox's. I promise y'all I'm not ignoring the asks, I often forget to check my inbox plus I'm also just busy with work and I'm extremely exhausted. Aside from writing same with art, I've been exhausted due to work.

I'm also not being rude I genuinely just wanted to write/share something so y'all don't think I'm fucking dead.

[ink-blot-thoughts]

It is so eternally funny to me that the Fatui have acquired every single gnosis peacefully... except for Venti.

Zhongli had his contract, Yae Miko traded Ei's, Nahida also traded hers and Ei's, and Neuvilette just gave that shit away. Like we're introduced to them as stealing all the Gnoses and then they drop that shit immediately.

Even worse, they steal it from Venti. Fucking Venti. Mr Had a 500 Year Nap. Mr Tells His City To Be Free and Fucks Off. Mr Steals Wine For Himself. That dude. That's the one it was necessary to dropkick.

Like Signora could have sauntered up with an apple in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other and Venti would have given up his gnosis faster than you can say 'Freedom'.

And even if we go with the theory that Venti knows much more than he let's on, he would've have probably given it away anyway considering what we know now about the third Descender and all.

Like Signora had zero need for the bitchslap-dropkick-combo but she needed the Fatui to have a girl boss reputation so she did anyway. Rate. We stan a proactive Queen ig.

[semper-draca]

There's something so depressing about being an artist on tumblr these days that I'm finding hard to articulate. Years ago, shitty one-hour sketches I posted would at least get double digits in the notes. These days, I can post commissions that took over fifty hours and get 5 notes at most. Blah blah do art for yourself, sure, but the important part is -

I Rarely Get Commissions Anymore.

Where I used to have to limit how many comms I could accept at once because I'd get that many requests, now I'm lucky to get two when I open up coms again. People don't reblog the art I do for myself, so no one finds my commission info that way. People don't reblog the art I do for commissions, so no one finds my commission info that way. People don't reblog commissions posts. A couple likes will get tossed at it from people who don't actually reach out in interest, so it doesn't circulate and it's just me reblogging it into the void, desperately hoping for some modicum of cash. I feel like people don't understand these days how little money most artists are bringing in, and the anxiety that comes with drastically declining circulation of art on websites like tumblr. Right now, for example, I'm desperate to earn as much money as I can during the summer because what I earn this summer? Has to last me rent for seven months straight to help offset the inevitable drain of all the savings I have. Normally some of that would come from art - nowadays, I can't rely on getting even a single commission.

I think this anxiety and this real material concern is what is behind all those "please for the love of god reblog art/posts you like" posts that people love to get angry about. If you haven't been here for years, it can be hard to see the ways in which this vanishing reblog culture has severely hit artists and forced many away from this platform. I don't want to leave tumblr or stop posting my art here, but good god is it depressing to see this site, and I cannot stress this enough, almost COMPLETELY VANISH as a revenue stream. I don't know what the solution to this culture shift is, but I do know that it's causing this site to deteriorate and forcing artists to move elsewhere and invest less effort on tumblr because it no longer makes any financial sense. I know that everyone is tired of hearing this, and fair enough, because there are plenty of other artists with louder voices than mine saying similar things, but please, if you like some art, consider reblogging it. Even if you have no interest in ever commissioning that artist. Others might see it and be interested, and that's how most new clients are made. Artists have rent on the line.

anyway, if you've made it to the end of this rant and haven't blocked me for it lmao, I still have commissions open

[axolotlclown]

I suppose I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to collect my thoughts.

Here's the thing, everyone's caught up on Caiti's age and whether she consented. To me, that isn't anywhere near the point. Her being so young is certainly creepy and strange, but not the point.

Here's the first thing, though less important than the next. As an adult, it is blaringly clear how irresponsible these "adults" were. Two grown ass men supplying alcohol to underaged girls in a hotel room. They were up drinking until 6am. They were one noise complaint away from getting the cops called.

Second thing. While underage drinking in the US is fairly normal, 18 is still pretty young here. Also, publicly admitting to supplying alcohol to an 18 year old is crazy, but not the point.

18 year olds can't compete with grown adults when it comes to alcohol. They don't have the same tolerance. There never should have been any "one upping."

No one should have gotten that drunk. The fact that there was a girl leaving, vomiting in her hand is fucking ridiculous. When someone, regardless of their age, is drinking too much too quickly, you cut them off and give them water. This is how college parties are run. Once you start wobbling a little too much, your speech is slurred, and you stop being a person, someone gives you water and walks you home.

And nobody walked her back to her hotel room?? Two grown men. I don't give a shit how tired you are. You always walk a girl home. Who the fuck raised you??

I am an adult man in college. I have been around a lot of different men. I have hung around men that behave like this. Let me promise you this: they got those girls drunk like that on purpose. They both wanted something. When they didn't get it, they just let the girls go. They were never interested in their safety. They were never interested in who they were.

And let me promise you this: there's never just one girl. And any well brought up man would have cut them all off and sent them on their way. There is way more to this situation than lets on.

And of course George never asked for her consent. It was never a question. They brought those girls back to that hotel room with the thought that they'd get something out of it. To George, he heard 18 and thought, "oh cool, she's legal."

I see this happen all the time in college. Usually men don't grow out of all of it, but they usually grow out of begging like a shitty dog in some random girl's DMs. To hear a grown ass man, 26 years old, behave like a fucking 19 year old sophmore in college is pathetic. I'm not interested in giving pathetic men any more time.

Also, love and light to Caiti, she looks like she's 16. "I didn't know she was 18!" First off, doesn't matter. Second off, I would've guessed she was a minor, so I know you checked first. Or else you're even dumber than the fucking college kids. Damn.