#im fine now but again this stuff is kinda low for a reason

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hiii new anon here! Is it possible to request the Hazbin Hotel boys with a wheelchair user reader? (It’s alright if not! I love your writing so much! Keep it up! 💖)

Hellooooooo new anon 💋 thanks for the request! And THANK YOUUU ILYSM AAAHH 💖🥹 you guys have really been hyping me up. AND IM AT 40 REQUESTS RN LIKE ??? HELLO HI WHAT IS HAPPENING 😵‍💫 I hope I did okay on this…enjoy~

Notes: gn!reader, sorry this is short :(

TW: lap sitting, other than that just fluff :)

Hazbin boys x wheelchair user!reader 🎀

Lucifer 🍎

Often tries to push you around everywhere. He just wants to help but if that bothers you, he’ll happily give you space to wheel yourself around.

Will still do other things to help you out too like open doors for you, adjust tables so you can sit at them comfortably, goes to get you something you might have forgotten just so you don’t have to push yourself all the way back to it.

Sorry but he’s gonna very randomly and very frequently sit in your lap. He likes it, it’s comfy and it’s always right there fully open for him. He’ll just fall into your lap, wrap his arms around your neck and nuzzle his face up to yours.

Very helpful with other things you may need help with like reaching things that are too high up or assisting you when you need to get out of your chair for any reason.

WILL ABSOLUTELY PICK YOU UP AND CARRY YOU SO TIGHTLY AS HE FLIES YOU TO WHEREVER YOU NEED TO GO

“Luci, babe…this is kinda extravagant, don’t you think? I just needed to go talk to Husk, I can get myself there just fine.”

“Yeah, but I get to touch you this way~”

What a flirt, omffggg ❤️‍🔥

Angel Dust 🕸️

So many dirty jokes and horrible pickup lines.

“Oooh, best seat in the house~” as he sits on your lap before covering your face in giggly kisses

“Yeah, I think they fucked up their legs fallin’ for me.”

“Fuck you, Angel!” And now he’s cracking up laughing while also apologizing.

He’s actually kinda a worry wart so he’s gonna check up on you a lot. He knows you’re strong and brave and you’re used to this by now but he can’t help but worry about you all the time.

He knows you can handle yourself but he worries about others picking on you and taking advantage of your disability

His fav pastime is sitting in your lap while you wheel yourself as fast as you can down the long hallways of the hotel

Sitting in your lap while you do wheelies gets him squealing with laughter

He also offers to push you pretty much every day and if you say yes, he happily takes over while you sit back and relax. If you say no, he totally understands and follows along beside you still.

Very much understands any boundaries you have about you and your mobility. Hes a consent king okay?

Although he never asks before he grabs the handles of your chair and yanks you all the way back until you’re nearly parallel with the sky, then he smirks down at you before leaning in for a hot and passionate kiss. Not too long later, he sits you back up to your regular position and continues on his way, leaving you a blushing mess with your heart beating so hard you think you might die again.

And he never gets over the shocked face you wear every time he does that. He loves that shit 🩷

Husk 🃏

Okay this guy is so nonchalant about it like “okay cool…and?”

He sees that you are used to this, that you handle this with such grace and skill. You impress him everyday and he adores youuu~

Will often offer to help you up on the barstools if your chair is too low to reach the bar.

Holds doors for you, always runs to push the elevator button for you, just likes to go out of his way to be a gentleman for you.

Even if you insist you don’t need his help, he’ll argue, “Baby, you’re my partner. I think my love language is acts of service or some shit like that. I dunno, I tried to read the book and got tired. But I love ya so you’re just gonna have to get used to me and how I show love. Trust me, I’d do this stuff no matter what.”

He’s honestly just such a polite and considerate guy when it comes to you. He doesn’t never mean to be overbearing or treat you different, he just wants you to be comfortable so he always tries to push you around.

“Husky, I can push myself.” You sigh as he takes hold of the handles on your chair and brings you along to the bar with him.

“I know you can.” And he’s just smirking from behind you as you roll your eyes.

And his pace will slow for a sec as he leans over to kiss the top of your head.

He just really loves when he’s pushing you and he sees your head tilt back and your shoulders relax- you just seem calm

Sir Pentious 🐍

Homeboy is absolutely gonna try to invent and build cool shit for you. Mostly just cool add-ons to your chair like something to make it smoother or faster or more sturdy or even add a cup holder? Idk

If you ask him not to push you around, you will not have to tell him twice 🫡 he respects you and your boundaries

Buuttttt he is often seen resting one hand on the handle of your chair as he slithers along beside you throughout the hotel

He just wants to be touching you in some way and touching your chair is enough for him.

Loves to come bounding up to you with exciting new projects he’s working on and will wrap his entire self around you as he shows you his work

“Pen? Can you push me back to my room? I’m just so tired…” you ask him after a long day of helping out around the hotel therefore a long day of pushing yourself around.

He’s actually so excited and full of love rn, like he’s beaming with joy as he nods and rushes to you.

“Yesssssss, my darling! Anything for you~”

And he’s so fucking careful with you- we all know Sir Pentious is a clutz and a goofball but he is so extra cautious when pushing you around.

Makes sure not to bump your feet or knees or any other part of you into anything.

Goes sooooooo slow over any bumps, humps or ledges.

Asks like 457 times if you’re okay and smiles everytime you say “Yes, babe. I’m good. Thanks.”

Vox 🖥️

Does not mean to offend but he tells you he would happily build something that could have you up and walking with ease.

If you’re down to try, he’s more than happy to experiment!

If you’re more than happy staying in your chair, he completely understands but still tries to give your chair some upgrades.

Adds a phone to your chair so you can always contact him

Also watches your every move everywhere you go through his cams bc he doesn’t want some dickhead to think they can take advantage of you

Loves when you come into his work room where all his screens are bc it’s a bit crammed in there so it can be hard to get your chair around. Therefore, Vox loves to pick you up and sit you in his lap while he works.

He’ll press soft kisses to your neck and let his claws travel up and down your arms as you melt into him

And when you finally ask to go back to your chair, it turns into a playful fight.

“Aww, (Y/N). I was just getting comfy. What if I just keep you here.” As he hugs you tight, speaking in a teasing tone.

“Vox, I swear to Satan! You better put me back in my chair right now or-“

“Noooo~ I don’t think so.”

And he just continues to enjoy your company even as you pout and huff.

Alastor 🩸

Always uses his shadow or his tentacles to lift you up and whisk you around.

Doesn’t ever really ask for permission or even warn you before he picks you up and carries you to and from your chair.

“Oh! Alastor. I can do it on my own. Really, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense, sweetheart. The pleasure is all mine. What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t assist my love with getting around?”

He doesn’t have much of a filter, nor does he understand boundaries or personal space

So he will just grab ahold of you and wheel you around to his hearts content regardless of your protests.

One time, he unexpectedly rolled you up to his radio tower, wearing a particular cheery smile.

“Come, dear! I’m just about to start my podcast. Care to join me~?” He holds his hand out to you from across the room, waiting for your okay

As you give him a nod, his shadow lifts you and carries you to him as he sits at his desk, you being lowered down onto his lap soon after.

“Lucky you! Up close and personal for tonight’s show. Aww, and look at those flushed cheeks! What a doll you are~”

Alastor loves to sit you in his lap and then make fun of how flustered you get. It doesn’t happen often, him getting all close and touchy with you so when it does happen, you always panic and start stuttering.

He really gets a kick out of you being in a less than ideal situation and not being able to get out of it without him letting you. He’s a sick fuck, what’d you expect? He does it out of love~ ❤️‍🔥

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Okay so, I obviously am not even close to reading acosf but ive been seeing a lot of posts about it and nessian and it made me think about some stuff. Why is it that Nesta seems to trigger Cassian's insecurities in the intense way that she does, but none of the other inner circle member do? Like, his biggest insecurity is his bastardhood but hes fine with Rhysand calling him that when hes introducing him to Feyre because? hes doing it in a friendly way? I guess? Idk, i think if he cant handle Nesta calling him that when shes using it as a synonym for asshole then I dont he should be okay with Rhysand doing it in a 'friendly' way but whatever. Also sidenote about his introduction to Feyre, iirc one of them said some line about how all illyrian bastards are basically brothers but then Rhysand is also their brother in all but blood, so for a brief moment I got these crossed wires where I was like "wait, is Rhysand trying to claim bastardhood when he was not only not born out of wedlock but was born as the result of a bond ordained by god" and I dont think thats the case, I think "cassian and azriel share a kind of brotherhood through their bastardhood" and "rhysand, cassian and azriel are adoptive brothers" are supposed to be wholly seperate statements, although it is pretty weird how that line seems to imply that the former is the main reason that Cassian and Azriel are brothers, as opposed to the fact that they were raised together when they were children. very weird, but that might just be me

But lets get back to Cassian. Another thing he seems to be insecure about is the fact that he's a brute or seen as nothing but a brute, judging by the fact that thats something he brings up in that big monologue after Nesta and Eris' dance, but again, I feel like the rest of the IC lowkey treat him like hes a brute and kinda stupid even if theyre not outright saying it. And like, Im pretty sure Amren has outright said it. Not to mention that whole thing with him taking Mor's virginity which, she wanted to sleep with him because he was the strongest warrior which is technically complimentary, but I feel like it should have a similar impact to the overtly negative brute-insults because its similarly putting a lot of emphasis on his physical strength and kindof dehumanizes him (not to mention the fact that its pretty racist, both in-and out-of-universe). Also, i dont think this was ever explicitly said in the text as the reason for why Mor picked him over Azriel, but doesnt it kinda feel like she picked Cassian because he was 'lower'? Like, obviously their backgrounds are quite similar with both of them being bastards but Azriel was the son of a nobleman while im pretty sure Cassian was from like a poor commoner family, and I could definitely see her picking him just to make sure shes thoroughly 'ruining herself' by having sex with someone she as the lowest of the lowest of the low, yknow? And like, even if thats not why she did it, these fuckers dont communicate and Cassian seems insanely insecure so I feel like he shouldve had the same process as I just had, and it shouldve affected their relationship negatively but thats not the case, Cassian is just like "no thoughts, head empty, pagelong internal monolgue about how beautiful and kind Mor is"

I was gonna write another paragraph about the illyrian racism but this post is getting kinda long and I think you've gotten my point by now: the ic can do whatever they want with things that touch on Cassians insecurites and he will not care and continue sucking up to them with nary even a second thought, but if Nesta even exists in his vicinity, it ticks him off so badly. And why is that? Because...... she has rich person-vibes? i guess? Thats it, its just vibes. And Im not the first person to point this out, but the text is really trying to make nessian seem like this rich lady/poor boy dynamic and like Cassian is punching up because "Nesta is like a queen" and its like, yeah, emphasis on the 'like' there because shes not actually a queen and she doesnt hold any power over this guy!!

[caramelmochacrow]

hiiii im back at it again w my d4dj headcanons, yeahhh. you know the drill. :)

(cut cause dude this is genuinely long)

yuka has a low immune system, but high stamina. vise versa for esora. yuka holds someone's hand that's sick and she gets the illness for a whole week and she cannot leave her bed. esora's fine tho bc she had to hold a few animals and stuff (also bc her parents didnt want her to be sickly and have a low immune system as a kid)

noa is terrible when it comes to jokes that involve an incorrect fact. especially when it comes to her interests. someone will say something like: "you sing so bad, crows look like song birds" or something and noa's like "but crows are song birds. theyre in the passerifo--" and then the person's like "i was joking noa jeez" especially when she was a kid.

people know this buuuut idc im saying it again. tsubaki is cousins w toya from prosekai. they were rlly tight when they were younger but then tsubaki's father had to move them away for his job. toya got sad abt it bc his cousin was the only person he had before tsukasa and saki appeared in his life. yay. he reconnected w her after he met vbs and they visit each other regularly now :) (usually tsubaki tho bc of toya's situation from what i understand but yea)

saki is hard of hearing bc of her synesthesia. (idk how her synesthesia works and sometimes the series likes making shit up so.... myeah) her brain fills in words sometimes from context clues and she usually guesses right. sometimes she doesn't, of course. she struggles w being almost mute at first when it came to speaking because of it.

towa's younger brother plays baseball and treats baseball players similar to how his sister treats idols. he's a little weirded out by noa but he's ok w her now. he's alright w ibuki, but wishes she wasnt so harsh on his sister and he thinks saki's kinda cool bc wow!! dj!

abyssmare speak full english when theyre by themselves, which unnerves some of the students at yoba at first, but now theyre fine w it.

marika's older sister was a clean freak, that's why marika struggles w cleaning. rip.

also marika had a six-month relationship w rei's older sister till they broke up because of Reasons (if you read her relations event w towa you know) :3 rika's the only one in m4 that knows this relationship yea

aoi started growing out her hair after the my prince event to at least be worn w a small ponytail :3 everyone in rondo loves it, nagisa likes pulling on it sometimes. tsubaki thinks it's super cute (she doesnt tell aoi) and hiiro likes giving aoi little ribbons so she can tie it up w it.

haruna's related to riko from love live. in what way? dont know. you decide~

ibuki is aro (questioning if she's ace but not sure) and saki is ace, but simply doesnt think of ibuki in that way. aroace solidarity i suppose.

[ghosttalksalot]

I low key stalked most your spideypool stuff cause chefs kiss*

Thoughts on hypermobile Peter Parker (cause self projecting) and Wade just going wtf. Or flare ups cause yummy angst and vulnerability

youre so sweet im glad you like my nonsense <3

i think the disabling aspects of mutations/powers are super interesting and as someone with hypermobility... lets do this

**ghost from the future: you said angst but i got fluffy on us. my bad. also i wrote more than i meant to, buckle in**

so peter, before the bite, wasnt abnormally flexible. sure, he was usually able to reach into weird places but nothing crazy. after the bite though, things got different. if a villian managed to get close enough to lay hands on him, sometimes theyd bend him trying to break him and it just... wouldnt happen, and their surprise was enough for him to get his comfortable fighting distance again.

and when he flips around midair its hard to tell when he bends a little odd or stretches in a way someones not supposed to, hes moving so fast and up so high.

here and there his shoulder pops out mid fight and onlookers are jaw-dropped horrified cover-the-childrens-eyes but he just clicks it right back in fast as he can and gets back to it. sure, its not comfortable, it goddamn hurts, but when you're superhero-ing you feel a whole lot worse, and its honestly lucky, he'd be incapacitated a lot more if it werent for all this

for deadpool, dislocations are not a super big deal, but for a very different reason. he knows theyll fix themselves. so when he first sees spideys joint decidedly not in the right place he definitely flips a bit. before he can offer to relocate it (he mostly kinda knows how by now) its back and spidey is back on the task at hand while wades still sorta processing for a sec. anyone else would definitely have needed help fixing that. he just files that away for later, have to finish up this thing theyre doing

then, you know, after theyve become more familiar and spidey comes over to wades apartment, sometimes wade is just completely caught off guard by the positions spidey manages to get comfortable in.

"you're just. fine? with your leg like that?"

"huh?"

its not even something of note to spidey tho, hes completely chill with it by now.

the first time peter crashes on wades couch, it's not ideal. he's just... exhausted. it feels like he's pulled just about everything he could have pulled in his bodies during tonights patrol, and he knew, he knew he shouldve stayed home tonight, but he didn't.

and wade can't quite figure out what about tonight is so bad. it's been nothing too out of the ordinary for any busy night, but he's half afraid he's going to have to carry spidey the rest of the way. (after he ends up agreeing to go to wades because it's closer) the way spideys moving is freaking him out.

wades wracking his brain as he opens up the (actually really comfortable) futon, trying to work out what was different about tonight. when spidey curls up on the futon he just groans and is breathing heavily, audible through the mask.

"is something... broken? did i miss that?"

spidey shakes his head. wade looks over him again, no blood or visible wounds. wade goes off to get him a small variety of options- tshirt, hoodie, sweatpants, shorts, whatever he can find to make sure spidey can pick something comfortable for himself. he leaves them on the coffee table for when spidey can move.

"painkillers? ....alcohol?"

"no, wade, just... nothing. nothing is going to help"

it looks like spidey can hardly move as he sits up to eye the clothing pile, and wade might be more concerned before.

peter can hardly think straight and just hopes he doesn't feel stuck on this stupid couch-bed for the next week. when wade gives him privacy to change he has to call him back to ask for help getting the damn hoodie over his head, like this isn't bad enough and he wants to explode.

when peter wakes up hes got a blanket thrown over him and wade is burning pancakes as quietly as wade is capable of doing anything. he still can hardly move without feeling the searing pain but his head feels a little clearer.

when wade notices hes awake and brings over a small plate, he speaks lower than usual, as if talking too loud would hurt peter, and it's endearing. peter rolls up his mask and feeds himself slowly, to try to not make his shoulders feel worse. he tries to explain himself, but it comes out clunky

there are better days and worse days, if he bends more than usual it might hurt more than usual. certain things that would hurt others dont hurt but sometimes everything hurts more than he can explain.

wade silently wonders if spideys multi-day absences wers due to this, and makes a note to do research. he wants to be able to help spidey out.

the next few times peter pushes it and ends up on wades couch, flaring up and having made it worse, wade is more prepared each time. at first peter is confused, and wonders how adaptive wade really is, but when he hears wade muttering symptoms and potential solutions under his breath, he realizes wades learning. for him.

wade is taking mental notes of what applies, what doesnt, what helps, and what doesnt, and is figuring out what to do in these situations.

he tries to learn how spidey balances the worse times with the hero business and eventually, peter comes to rely on him, even when flares dont connect with superhero business. he learns he can take a cab and just show up and wade will help him out. he learns about the compassionate side of wade, and eventually wade comes over to his instead. he shoots wade a text and knows he'll be there within 20 minutes to make sure peter has everything he needs and dinner is taken care of.

their relationship deepens as peter learns not only that he needs help sometimes, but that he can trust wade to be the person to help him. when things develop, peter finds himself to be not nearly as nervous as he would have expected, because he already trusts wade so thoroughly with his most vulnerable moments that it comes naturally

trusting wade is nothing new, both in patrolling and in his most personal moments, and he knows wade is so much more than what everyone thinks because hes seen it since before wade had any reason to help him. and sometimes as he watches wade wreck his kitchen with an attempt at cooking (that wade will clean up himself too) he thinks about how the first time he crashed on wades couch, in agony, wade had no reason to let him stay, or to do as much as he did. wade could have taken off his mask or anything that day, and didnt.

the day peter takes off his mask in front of wade, he isnt thinking of everything that could go wrong. hes thinking of wade's careful back rubs, slow shoulder massages, and things wade said when he thought peter was sleeping. the wade only peter got to see, the wade who would get to meet peter.

[leaving it here because this is a lot for an ask prompt lolol, might add more at some point ^^]

[celestialmancer]

☁️ // 3:04 am, tbd ;

More low filter bs

Kind of wonder sometimes if I’d feel as much shame as I do towards rambling off abt nsfw ish or nsfw topics w my ocs or doing ramblings of that sort involving them if it weren’t for the… things I went through + the way I had to deal with being shamed due to the trauma responses I ended up with as a result of said experiences ig

& also if it hadn’t been for the ex friend of mine who was emotionally abusive to me for 4 years (i met her @ 13/14 & she was 21/22) & and anti-lgbt obsessive religious freak as well, seeing how she. Always was towards me about anything nsfw related? Like I remember she used to obsessively fixate on how engaging in any of those things meant you were disgusting & sinful & letting the devil influence you, & how anyone who wrote or hc’ed or drew or rp’ed nsfw stuff was ppl who were disgusting or sinful & “wasting their talent on things the devil wants”

Along w how. Victim blame-y she was w matters of sexual harassment or worse

(…which all those things were… the worst possible thing to be around given what i was going through w/ M & other freaks online at t the time that i wont elaborate on)

& just. Idk. I know that while ive mostly reprocessed everything w her & how she was to where it doesn’t rly phase me to talk abt anymore, it doesn’t change the impact it left on me where I guess it played a role in how i’ve like. Always seen myself whenever i do wanna muse on more nsfw stuff w my ocs or rp or create nsfw content w them (& well other things online that were ✨traumatic ✨ that i wont say just kinda fueled all that even worse along w bs from religion in general & also—from how ppl reacted to trauma responses i had )

Always there’s shame in sorta approaching that for this reason—mind you its not the only reason, there’s a lot more to it, but still

& ig that might be another factor why i struggle to feel comfortable w approaching anyone i trust for anything nsfw related w ocs? & just leave it to others to approach me instead if they want so that way i dont feel like im being viewed in some neg way that im not, all over tryna approach over something like that, ig

I p much need an explicit “u can approach me abt this anytime” type of deal wrt nsfw oc stuff or else i just simply do not 💀 once again w the “needs explicitly being told x thing is fine or invited to do x thing or else i will not” that follows me in a lot of things wfsvdg just general self suppression? Ig

(Now admittedly, again, there’s more reason to why i do that other than just religion & a lot of it is an intense fear of accidentally crossing a line & also coming off a bad way + like, other things, that are deeply personal, but still)

…Ironic that im that way considering the spaces i have w friends & all but yeah.

But still. Idk. Ig i just wonder if id struggle w feeling ‘dirty’ or w/e still if it hadn’t been for that connection—probably still would all other things considered bc, ik those dirty feelings also—came from how ppl viewed me over, certain… things i went through & responses to it… but, maybe to a lesser degree or something … idk.

Had more to say but it slipped my mind, so.

[thatcaliber]

i've kinda hacked my brain lately into doing a similar thing i call cycling. i have several things I want to do, for example: reading, fucking off on tumblr, watching a show, making art, etc.

previously, i would pick one thing and do it and do it and even when i was tired of it, because that was the thing i had Chosen for that day so i would keep doing it until bedtime or whatever. because i had this like. idea in my mind that if i was only doing something for a short period of time, like if i only embroidered for an hour and therefore didnt make huge progress, it wasn't worth doing. its only worth doing if i made big progress!! big progress gives serotonin...eventually

so then what id end up doing is if i didnt have the energy to do the thing all day, it just didnt get done. if i cant sit and read a book for several hours because my attention span is low, i wont read at all even though i love reading. i didnt read books for years, which made me really sad.

but then i realized that my mindset was kinda silly. reading a chapter or even a few pages of a book a day is objectively better for my brain than not reading books at all because i couldnt get my attention span to last. tossing 20 stitches into my most recent embroidery project is better than letting it rot undone forever. sketching something for fun is fine, it doesnt always have to be a finished piece. and if its gonna be a finished piece, it can take as long as i want! i dont have to do it all today!

so now i cycle activities. i start with, say, tumblr. i scroll tumblr until i feel bored, even just a little. then i put tumblr away and think "what sounds good now?" so i put on a tv show, which i usually combine with something like embroidery or playing games on my phone if its not something that requires my full attention. when im bored of that, or even if the episode ended so it seems like a good time for a change, i stop that and i read for a bit or whatever. as soon as i begin to feel bored of that, or my neck hurts from hunching, or my eyes are tired, or literally any other reason, i cycle to the next activity. and i just do that, over and over again until the day is done or whatever. so instead of dedicating my day to one or two things and getting mad that i couldnt focus, i just. let my brain go where it wants, for as long as it wants instead of fighting it

its made me feel a little bit more like im accomplishing stuff, even if its only a little bit at a time and its made me feel less like im just falling into a low energy hole of scrolling the internet until i want to chop my fingers off. its made me a little less depressed and feel more like im actually DOING my hobbies. im reading more books, i'm making more art, writing more, watching more movies, whatever.

the change in my thoughts that im allowed to do many things for short periods of time instead of picking One Thing i have to do all day even when im tired of it because i Committed to that thing for the day really helped my little autism brain

somehow, amazingly, i have hacked the impulse that makes me mindlessly scroll on my phone. it's not gone but i've paired it with a conscious thought process that goes like, "what's my goal here? i'm looking for entertainment, for information, for something that makes me feel more optimistic and interested in the world i live in..."

and because that kicks in between apps, too, i'm not doomscrolling as much. i'm intentionally seeking out posts or videos or whatever that actually mean something to me. when i'm not satisfied i walk away or pick up a book instead. most subtle yet impactful change i've gone through in years

i did not intentionally set out to change this. i've just been working on my mindset in general. hey, turns out having a good therapist again helps

[kittenpower05]

WORK IS SLOW AGAIN im RUNNING OUT OF TTRPGS TO TALK ABOUT

and by that I mean that I should be doing homework instead of rambling about ttrpgs

Anyways Call of Cthulhu ttrpg below cut

First of all shoutout that the gm is called the Keeper? Cool as hell

The wildest thing to me is that in Cthulhu, when you make a skill check, you're rolling a d100, and you're trying to roll *low*. That's straight up bonkers to me! But I get it, I feel you. The stranger thing is that sometimes you want to *fail* checks. Yeah, if you roll low enough on this knowledge roll, you might understand the horrors and if you do, it's the understanding that drives you mad. and I KINDA VIBE WITH THAT. That's really nifty.

But what's really cool is that all of your skills are out of 100, and so when you roll, you're trying to roll under your stat! so instead of the dm wanting you go get a number, you're competing with your own sheet. If the roll is difficult, you need to roll under half your stat. so if i have a know stat of like. 60. Then I'm more likely to pass the stat because I have a 3/5ths chance to roll a number less than 60. And if the task is difficult I have to roll lower than 30. Bonkers stuff.

PUSHING A ROLL OH MY GOD I want pushing a roll to be in dnd so bad. If the player wants to they can straight up roll a stat again, but this time. THE CONSEQUENCES ARE BIGGER. Huge fan of that. Like yeah I want my players to succeed but also it gives heightened stakes which is AWESOME for storytelling

(warning for this paragraph specifically talking about poor representations of mental illness as well as manipulation and unreality) You've got sanity as well as health!!!! Which is actually kind of interesting. I will say, having 'madness' as a mechanic is. yuckyy. to me. I like the concept of giving them a phobia or a mania, since yeah, they could be developed like that! You have a bad experience in the dark, you can get irrationally scared of the dark. You develop negative coping mechanisms. But idk in my mind it feeeeeels bad. To kind of toy around with mental illness :/ It feels more fine if my character has an experience and I'm like "hey I think I'm gonna start playing my character like this because of it" vs I roll bad and the dm goes "Now your character has to be played like this", especially when it comes to madness. Wait sorry holy shit did that passage say that "altered backstories" are kept alongside phobias and manias what the hell are the creatures doing ?????? Oh wait I just considered that the character is an unreliable narrator and could be lied to nvm actually BANGER concept have a dmpc lie to a character about their backstory? Have a flashback thats actually wrong and lying and convince the pc that they were wrong about their backstory when they were right the whole time? Anyways back on topic. This could be fine if the party is chill and doesn't treat mentally ill people awfully! And they actually care about the character even after the bout of madness! But this is a *very* slippery slope and as someone who is not mentally ill I don't trust myself to play a character with delusions or compulsions.

OK we're out of that topic now and it should be less heavy. In Cthulhu? Characters are *very* squishy. They start with low hp, and they only recover one hp a DAY. If their wound is FINE. If they're critically injured then they have to wait a week to get healed. Which I actually really enjoy. In a game about horror? Yeah these guys need to feel like they're in *danger* danger. They aren't expected to fist fight the eldrich being they find on the street, they're just trying to make it to next tuesday. This is very reasonable and fair for the media that they're in and the people they are.

Speaking of! I *really like* playing everyday shmoes. Like yeah i could wield a big sword and slay enemies but this time? I'm gonna be uhhhh college professor. The weird gay person running the museum. author. Like the characters are called "investigators" so they have to have a motivation to go into this field, but the job literally does not come in to play. It gives you your skills and that's it! You get NOTHING from your job on level up because theoretically you're not getting better at your job, you're getting better at beast hunting! SORRY SCRATCH THAT i found a reddit thread that made me fall in love the point of the game is NOT to be the creature hunter of all time. The point of the game is to tell a story about how the more you try and understand the unknowable the more you lose grasp of yourself. Driving yourself crazy trying to figure out something that wasn't for your eyes. The point isn't to get good the point is for the characters to learn more and more about the mythos while their sanity is slowly and irreparably slipping away from them. Fuck yeah hell yeah.

Anyways I was looking up the level up rules. In cthulhu, you don't level up, but you have skill increases! you take note of what you used in each session, and then at the end, the keeper will ask for skill increase rolls. If you *fail* the skill, then you can add more points to it. Which is strange because getting stronger isn't linear (which lets be honest. it isn't in real life lmao) and it isn't guaranteed. I like that it's only on stats that you've rolled successfully, but then fail generally. Because like, yeah I suck at computers but in a stroke of luck I found the shortcut to bring up task manager. Now I've learned something new and can be slightly better at computer. In the game system, this can be represented by like. Like what if my character is socially awkward and hates talking, but in order to survive the BEAST that's hunting them down, they need to be buddy buddy with someone who can potentially protect them. So they go out and try to make friends, and I roll really well on the charm roll, so yay! Friend acquired, and my character is theoretically more confident in their charisma. So at the end of the session, I roll for the charm skill, and I fail the check because my charm is SO low and the only reason I was able to do it before was via stroke of luck, but *since* I failed I can improve that charm stat! And now I'm less likely to fail in the future! And also, it will make leveling it up much harder!

Anyways now I'm thinking about Hildy Russet dndads and despite me not listening to mountains of dadness im rotating her in my mind palace, im going to get back to work and hopefully not think too much about narrative tragedies and eldritch horror

[fictionfixations]

part 2 of the new book 7 update cause i have more mystium

spoilers of course part 1

part 3 the final part

the way i just got the widest smile at this

anyway i forgot to mention it last post but knowing that they were just kinda left alone while everyone went to nrc makes me really sad. like first silver and sebek without lilia and malleus (they have sebbies family tho)

and then silver left next year. sebek all alone. he has his family still but like. man. gone for a year.

and in that time he was alone he got his signature spell and worked hard on it not wanting any of them to know about it until he got better at it, but it also meant that they never knew he could do that because they werent there and im just sad :( and it sometimes makes me wish at least silver and sebek were the same age so they couldve gone the same year and sebek didnt have to be without their company for so long

fshuidf i clicked past it like a dumbass but heres anther instance of baur saying he'll swallow them whole similar to sebek's battle start line

going to cry now because what the fuck 100k hp i hate myself my strongest units are really low hp BEAT THEIR ASS GEN LILIA oh my god they do so much damage im going to cry good news is i dont think theres another battle after this so this is.. fine.

and this time i didnt head straight to it and miss all the buffs from like the camps and stuff 💀 also i actually have more built cards this time before this i only had like one other casualty, that being the dorm sebek they give you (i only managed to have him duo off of gen lilia once and then i never got the spells to line up after that and then he died). so now its my whole team + dorm sebek thanking myself for leveling the spells of the other riddles i got that i did for no reason other then cause i like riddle (no intention of actually using them considering i already have a perfectly fine dorm riddle) LMFAO also thank battlemap for letting you bring a shit ton of characters. i havent used epel in forever 😭(rook is also VERY underleveled lmfao)

also im a dumbass i kept using the healing spells first turn.. ..but it didnt even do anything because i need to take damage first so its like. why did i do that. did i think id get my health lost in a previous battle back..?????

😱

aww the sparkles bruhs accomplished his lifes dream and i am here for it 👍

NOO GUYS LISTEN TO HIMM

he gave us his cloak 🥺

know i said id set my homescreen to sebek but... this feels more fitting

i wish that you didnt have to complete a book to get the backgrounds. i want my book 7 backgrounds with the music :(((

like i want. the the the. yknow when silver is confident in lilias love for him again and in the background you hear like i think once upon a dream? or i saw a prince(?? idk the other name for it its just what ive heard) and i. i want that. it also played when we see the dawn knight in the the the area where you travel across dreams where he smiled and then faded away

i dont have lilias room so silver will have to do

i need two more mystium aghhhhh the wait is insufferable but since im almost finished im gonna wait before posting

i watched someone go through the story on jp and i just remember stressing out so bad because holy fuck what happened what do we do. like i was feeling that stress of AHH GOTTA GET EGG AWAY and worry over maleanor but now i know what happened so im a little less stressed. im still stressed in the sense of FUCK YOU FUCK YOU BATTLES but like.. im not hanging in suspense anymore

anyway i think im gonna end it after battlemap is finished and do another post for the chapters outside of battlemap. especially because i dont want to hit the image limit. i cant remember if theres another battlemap but i dont THINK there should be.

anyway questioning why im making another post when i ended first post pretty early and couldve edited it? because people whove already seen it wont see it again 💀 and i mean if they wanna see book 7 stuff when the update only happened like 3 hours ago then ok ill show you what i can and make it visible enough for you to notice in the event youve already seen the other post

anyway while im waiting for one more mystium im warning you that if you cried the last update, to prepare to cry again. book 7 is just really sad man.

okay im gonna stop it here on THIS post (i will still be playing) and keep an eye out for part 3 with the rest (assuming theres not more story then i can make images of)

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

*CACKLES* I JUST SOLVED A LOW KEY MYSTERY THAT HAS BEEN STUMPING ME FOR MONTHS

I HAVE AN UNREADABLE FINGERPRINT

*CUE MORE CACKLING*

So context

We went to get our sims today, we were in such a rush yesterday we made do with just hotel WiFi and holding onto each other really tight

Now to get a visitor sim you have to show your visa and stuff and do a little fingerprint scan for some reason or other (btw we had to do this at customs too)

The scan’s weird the airport one was fine but this one felt like little electric shocks on my finger. Kinda cool :D

Anyway

They just couldn’t get my fingerprint, at all. The guy kept giving me tissues to wipe my hand and I was feeling really bad for him he was so nice he kept trying again and again

I figured eh it’s probably because my fingers are sweaty maybe, or maybe… like my iPad… it just can’t read it because of my eczema

But! Dear reader, I have no excema my skin’s smooth and I was just musing over this with my siblings, saying huh same problem as the iPad but my hands are smooth

My brother takes my fingers and looks close and goes EH WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FINGERPRINT

If you don’t know, there’s lots of like, what I assumed were wrinkles on my skin? I figured everyone has these, again this is my skin at its most supple and soft (Saudi weather and water somehow agrees with me remarkably well). “No one has like a proper fingerprint on their fingers like not that neat!”

But my brother looks at me in confusion and shows me his fingers

A complete, clear fingerprint.

My sister shows me hers

Complete clear fingerprints

I have had eczema for so long I frickin’ Mandela effected my own memory of what a normal fingerprint looks like

APPARENTLY ALL THOSE LINES ARE ACTUALLY SCARS FROM ALL THE TIMES MY SKIN’S CRACKED OPEN ON THE ONE HAND THIS IS SUPER COOL ON THE OTHER HAND IM PERMANENTLY SCARRED AND THAT’S A METAPHOR THAT MADE ME START GIGGLING A LITTLE HYSTERICALLY

[lwk3y]

wait;; does your exfriend stalk your profile and is that why you can't say anything specific about it?? (that's,,, a big red flag if they do... oof) if theyre that bad,,, shouldn't you like.,,, do a calloutpost or big warning post?? i understand like,,, not wanting discourse or wanting to respect them but,,, if what theyre doing is as bad as ur implying you should say something...

I feel like they do?? And about the callout, I don't want to do that for reasons of concern. I'm worried cause of other repercussions too. I just wanna keep my little account away from this stuff,, I'm sorry to keep posting stuff like that but I’m gonna keep this stuff low cause I really don't want shit to come my way for just saying what they are doing is really yikes and just really concerning in general ya know,

[reidgraygubler]

sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, dahlias (spencer reid/reader)

Title: sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, dahlias

Requested: yes, was a request someone sent to @imagining-in-the-margins​, but I took it of her hands :) (So i get this is sorta hard to do but i was wondering if you could write a spencer x nonbinary (gender-neutral pronouns) reader where reader isn’t out to the team yet but spencer finds out somehow and the reader is afraid he’ll reject them but instead he confesses his feelings and just starts info dumping about third genders in other cultures and the roots of binary america, etc. just like fluffy and accepting. once again, i get it if you don’t want to/can’t but that would be awesome)

Couple: spencer reid/non-binary!reader (they/them pronouns)

Category: fluff

Content Warning: swearing (if any), misgendering, usual criminal minds case work stuff, bi!spencer, lgbt+ history lesson, platonic cuddling (or is it?), kissing (not platonic), Doctor Who season 12 spoilers (weird, I know), afab!reader

Word Count: 4,110

Summary: reader comes out as non-binary to their best friend, Spencer, after they notice he changes the pronouns he uses to talk about them and after the team misgenders them.

A/N: pom (aka @imagining-in-the-margins​) posted this in her discord and said if someone had any ideas for this, we could have it. and i loved the request so i took it off her hands. im also non-binary and only out to a few friends, so this piece is dear to my heart. also, i wrote reader as afab, since that’s also me, but also the request says that reader isn’t out to the team yet, and i had to give reader a gender. so im sorry about that. that’s where the mis-gendering comes in. spencer’s nickname for reader is bumblebee when they’re friends, but once they start dating it’s honeybee… bc reader is…  enbee… thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

It was a new day at work. A new day, a new me… Kinda, not really. It’s still old me. I’m just trying to figure out the new me. I think that makes sense. It makes sense to me, so that’s all that matters, I think.

Maybe today was the day I came out to the team as Non-Binary. That’d probably help my feeling of garbage. Not even my own family knew about my little secret. So that’s been something I’ve seriously been thinking about, telling everyone that I was Non-binary and preferred they/them pronouns. 

I kept my head low as I stepped off the elevator and onto the floor of the BAU. The good news is, people weren’t rushing around like I was partly expecting them to be. The bad news is, when I got to my desk, there was a stack of files, waiting to be looked over. And the unfortunate part was, I wouldn’t get to get through half of them, because something told me there was a current case we had to go on. 

That something being Emily Prentiss standing outside her office, looking for everyone on the team. I looked up at her with a pout as she nodded towards the conference room. I looked back at the stack of files before grabbing my go bag and going up to the conference room.

Everyone was already there, waiting for me. Although, I was usually late, in a sensible fashion. So I quickly took my seat beside Spencer and remained quiet as Penelope and Emily told us about the case.

{***}{***}{***}

“We can go to the most recent victim’s house, interview the siblings,” Spencer spoke up as we both walked up to Emily. I looked up at him and nodded, silently agreeing that I could go with. It’s not like I had anything better to do anyways. Tara and Luke were at the newest crime scene. David and Matt were with the ME. And Emily was about to go interrogate the suspect. So, going with Spencer would give me something to do. 

“She’ll have to conduct the interview,” Emily looked up from the file she was reading and right at me. I looked down, away from anyone who was possibly looking at me. Getting mis-gendered was something I was used to, by now anyways. But, for some reason, this time it really bothered me. Emily doesn’t know, it’s fine. It’s mostly my fault anyways. And, I guess it bothered Spencer too, because the expression on his face shifted from normal to… annoyed.

“Of course, they can do the interview. They’re the most like the victim,” Spencer looked at Emily before looking back at me. I looked at him and smiled softly. It was more of a nervous smile than anything else. A change, and correction, in pronoun… I hadn’t exactly told anyone that I preferred different pronouns, I had honestly gotten used to the unfortunate misgendering.

“I can do it, I’m perfectly capable of it,” I smiled at Spencer then over at Emily. So much for a change.

“Then that’s settled, she’ll do it,” Emily looked up at Spencer and smiled before allowing us to leave. I dropped my shoulders as I glanced at Spencer, who was glaring daggers at Emily. He wasn’t usually one to glare at his superiors, especially Emily. 

“We should get going, don’t you think,” I whispered as I looked up at Spencer. He finally looked down at me and nodded. “And, you can do the interview, if you want. I get that I’m a lot like the victim’s sister. But, you do interviews better than me,” I laughed and shook my head. 

“We can do it together. That’s the only way you can get better at interviewing,” he returned the laughter before following beside me. 

“That’s true,” I smiled at him. 

{***}{***}{***}

“I know we always do this, but thanks for letting me stay the night after hard cases,” I looked over at Spencer as he got in his car. I readjusted the grip on my bag as I looked away from Spencer.

“Of course, sleeping over at someone’s house after a case makes it easier to relax, especially after hard cases,” he looked over at me with a smile, “We can order Chinese food if you want,”  he added as he looked back at the road.  

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” I nodded with a smile. Sometime between solving the last case, and the jet landing I gained the courage to bring up what happened before the interview. You know, the whole they/them thing… With Spencer. I still don’t know how he knew to change my pronouns. 

He was talking about something, it sounded like an episode of Doctor Who.  I sort of felt bad about that too, because I was hardly listening. I was one of the only few people who actually watched Doctor Who with him, and thoroughly enjoyed his commentary. 

“And then the Doctor, who, have I mentioned is a woman now, is in fact the Timeless Child. Did you know that?” He glanced at me as he went on. Again, I felt bad because I wasn’t totally paying attention. “Of course you knew that, we watched the episode together,” he continued to ramble about the episode.

“Spencer,” I spoke, my voice just loud enough for him to hear.

“Mhm, what?” he glanced over at me for a quick second. I looked at him, my mouth opening and closing a few times before actually saying what I was thinking. Which was...

“How did you know?” I asked, my voice a bit of a whisper. I was a little bit scared. How did he know? Sure, Spencer knows everything. But I’m not exactly… Out to the team, let alone Spencer. I don’t think I told him. 

“How did I know what, Bumblebee?” Spencer glanced over at me for a brief second. I sighed deeply as I looked over at him. 

“You used 'they'… When you and Emily were talking about me and the interrogation… You used 'they' and 'them' when you talked about me… How’d you know? I haven’t told anyone…” I whispered as I looked over at him. He stayed silent for a long time. I wasn’t too sure what he was thinking, but it made me very nervous. 

“I saw you at the library with a book about gender/sexuality history and science… And I saw you looking at a non-binary/gender non-conforming forum the other day. So, I connected the dots,” Spencer looked over at me as he pulled to a stop at the red light. I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. “I didn’t mean to off-”

“You didn’t offend me, Spence,” I whispered and shook my head before dropping my gaze from him. My fingers fiddled with the seatbelt across my lap. I could feel my heart going a million miles an hour, and no matter how hard I tried to calm it… nothing worked. “I just… I haven’t used the words out loud before… I’ve haven't told anyone… I mean, I’ve just figured it out myself,” I shrugged again. I glanced at him as he started going again. “I’ve always known I didn’t really identify as… Ya know… And I guess just recently I finally put a name to it,” I sighed as I pressed my head into the headrest. Spencer glanced at me, again. He was obviously trying to keep his eyes on the road, but he was very concerned about our conversation.

“You’ve never said it out loud? Or told anyone?” He asked, clarifying what I had just said. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Yeah, I just…” I stopped, letting my words trail off. My thoughts ran wild. If I just said that I was non-binary, it’d make my life easier, I’d be so much happier. So, why haven’t I just come out and said it? “So, say it now. It’s just me,” Spencer whispered as he looked over at me for the briefest second. My heart stopped with his words, and suddenly my mind was quiet. “No one else to hear."

“What?” I spoke, my voice a breathless whisper. I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“Only if you want to. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Spencer’s voice was soft as he spoke. I looked over at him, feeling my stomach do an anxious flip.

“What if it changes the way you think about me?” I asked, feeling my throat tighten up around the words. Out of all of the friends that I had, Spencer was the only one I didn’t want to lose. In a weird way, I felt like he understood me. Like we were both the outcasts of the team, for our different reasons. 

“Why would that change the way I think of you?” Spencer looked up at me and I shrugged. I stared at him, feeling my face twist up in confusion. Even his face had some confusion on it. 

“I don’t know. People usually…” My words trailed off again, not knowing what I was exactly wanting to say to him. “You’re not mad at me? Or hate me or anything…? Right…?” I asked, my voice wavering slightly in fear. Fear of what? I was scared he would resent me. It wouldn’t have been the first, or last, time someone resented me. So, why would I expect him to not resent me? 

“Why would I hate you? Because you’re finally more comfortable with yourself? Or want to be more comfortable with yourself?” Spencer looked at me as he furrowed his brows. I looked down at my lap and shrugged. “You still haven’t said it, but we’re talking about it like you did,” he pointed out. I dropped my shoulders as I looked over at him. 

“You really want me to say it,” I laughed dryly. Spencer smiled at me and shrugged.

“Only if you want to. Just think about how much better you’ll feel,” he offered. I looked down at my lap and sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I looked back up at him and smiled, “I’m non-binary.” I could feel a certain weight get lifted off my shoulders as I looked at him. Spencer also had a genuine smile on his lips as he looked at me. Like, he also seemed happy with my words.

 “There’s nothing wrong with that, you know,” Spencer smiled at me as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building. I glanced at him before laughing. “I’m being serious,” he chuckled lightly.

“I sure hope there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re the one who encouraged me to say it!” I laughed as I unbuckled. Spencer returned the laughter before looking over at me.

“Then, why do you care what the team thinks?” Spencer asked as he searched for his apartment keys. “Their opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your life,” he shrugged and looked up at me once he finally found his keys.  

“Everyone on the team is all my friends and all my family…” I whispered as I looked over at him, “I don’t know what everyone will think,” I knew he wanted me to say it out loud to the team, but I was avoiding it. It’s not that I’m not ready. I just don’t want him to think differently of me.

“When has anyone on the team thought bad of you, Bumblebee?” Spencer asked again before parking the car. I swallowed roughly and looked back down at my lap. Of course, when I actually cut my hair short the first time… I had gotten a horrible haircut and everyone commented on it. “No one’s going to think anything bad about you if you come out,” he reassured. I sighed deeply as I looked towards the ground.

“Yeah, but I don’t care about them Spencer,” I rolled my eyes. I rolled my eyes because even though I do care what the team thinks, I think I care more about what Spencer thinks about me. But, I didn’t want to tell him that.

“Then, why were you so worried about it,” Spencer looked over at me before getting out of the car. I stayed in the car for a moment, silent with my thoughts. He’s got a point though. Why was I so worried about it? Of course, the team was my family. I don’t think I could risk losing the team for being… well, me. Maybe Spencer was right. Who am I kidding? Spencer’s always right. About everything. Maybe I should just tell the team… I’d feel a lot better.

I stayed quiet as we walked into the apartment building. In fact, we were both silent. Which was a rarity in our friendship; one of us was always talking, and it was always Spencer. He always had something to say. I wondered what he was thinking about in that head of his. Until I didn’t have to wonder...

“Native American people have a third gender, generally called two-spirit, where the person takes on roles more or less attributed to the opposite sex or both sexes,” Spencer suddenly started an info dump. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I read this exact thing in a book not too long ago. But, it meant so much to me that he wanted to tell me this.

“When europeans came along, they came with the strict gender binary rooted in Puritism, which put heavy emphasis on community and the importance of procreational (heterosexual) marriage within,” he paused to glance at me, probably to make sure I was still listening. And I was. There would be nothing to stop me from listening to him. 

 “Once the colonizers became a country after the american revolution, they wanted to get as far away from britain as possible. Part of this came with separating themselves from the effeminate man of Britain, whom they saw as feminine and dainty. As a result, they made the American Man, who is basically Teddy Roosevelt in that he is rugged, bold, strong, brutish, daring, and able to survive on the frontier and provide for his family,” he continued as he unlocked the door to his apartment. It was nice to be in a familiar place that felt like home, and felt safe.

“In comparison, the woman was supposed to be the American Housewife who stayed at home, cooked the meals, and raised the children. Thus, the American binary,” Spencer continued his info dump, clearly not knowing he was talking outloud. 

I just stared at Spencer with the utmost adoration in my eyes and face. A small smile grew on my lips as he continued to ramble and info dump about stuff I was newly introduced to. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him sooner, I’m sure he would have been a big help. “That’s very interesting, Spencer,” I smiled at him and cocked my head to my shoulder. Spencer looked at me, a slight panicked look in his eye. 

“I’m… I’m sorry, was I rambling?” He stopped talking and looked at me after a moment of him talking. I shook my head, silently telling him he wasn’t rambling, even though he totally was. At this point we had parted ways, but still held the conversation between rooms, and across his apartment, him being in the kitchen while I stayed in the living room.

“Anyways… I could continue going on about it all. How WW2 influenced the LGBT community and how Nuclear Families messed it all up too,” he spoke before stepping out of the kitchen and leading me to his bedroom. 

“I’m sorry, what?” I looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows. I was honestly surprised with that tiny tidbit of information. “Go on,” I raised a brow as I looked at him. I got comfortable on the bed while I waited for him.

“Yeah! The advent of urban areas provided the perfect place for sexuality and gender identity expression,” he continued talking as he stepped into the bathroom to change, and even continued while in the bathroom, “Many single people suddenly began moving from rural farms with family and religion to urban apartments on their own or with someone of the same identity/gender/sex,” he finally concluded before stepping out of the bathroom. I looked at him and cocked my head to my shoulder. I didn’t have anything to say after he rambled on, so we both stayed silent as we got comfortable in bed. 

“How do you know so much about gender identity and the LGBT community?” I asked, turning to face him more. Spencer looked at me with a nervous smile before looking out to the blanket spread out over us. 

“Oh, I, uh… I did a lot of research when I saw you in the library… And, after I saw you on the forum,” Spencer looked at me and nodded. I could sense that he was lying, and he knew that I could sense it. So, I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sure this is the exact reason,” I smiled before shifting down the bed to get comfortable, “No other reason?” I looked up at him. 

“Nope, no other reason,” he looked down at his book before shaking his head. I could tell there was definitely something, and I could tell he wanted to tell me. But, I won’t force it out of him, just like how he didn’t force it out of me.

“Well, if you have something to tell me… I won’t force it outta you,” I looked over at him with a smile. Spencer glanced at me before grabbing for a book on his nightstand. I shifted down the bed and looked at my phone. “No one’s going to think anything bad about you,” I glanced at him again, repeating the exact things he said to me early in the evening. Spencer glared at me before looking back in his book.

“You’re the worst,” 

“You’re worse than me, Spence,” I laughed as I looked at my phone. I grinned as I browsed random social media. “It’s okay, I get it,” I shrugged before falling silent. 

“I suppose it’s only fair,” he spoke out loud after a moment of silence. I looked up at him, watching as he shifted in his seat. He closed his book before looking down at me, “I guess I’ve been in the same boat as you for a while… Not knowing what anyone would think if I came out, fearing that they’d hate me or judge me,”

“Spencer, you’re the most loved person on the team. No one would ever hate you or judge you,” I sat up before turning to look at him. Spencer looked up at me and nodded. I’m glad we could both agree on that. If anyone hated Spencer Reid, I can guarantee that they’d have a whole fleet of FBI agents on their ass. “You can trust me with anything, Spencer,” I whispered before reaching out for his hands. He looked down at where our hands sat before cocking his head to the side.

“I already trust you more than anyone on the team,” he smiled and chuckled with a nod, “I’ve never told anyone except for one person,” he whispered as he looked up at me.

“That’s okay,” I shrugged as I looked at him. 

“I’m bisexual,” he whispered, his eyes dropping away from my. I stared at him, taking a deep breath. A small smile tugged on the corner of my lips as a worried look grew on Spencer’s. 

“Was that so bad?” I whispered as I fell forward to give him a hug. Spencer laughed as he embraced me. “It felt good, didn’t it?” I backed away from him slightly. Spencer smiled and nodded.

“Like a weight off my shoulders,” he laughed as he looked back at me, “Thanks for that,”

“No, thank you, Spencer, I really needed you and your wonderful words of wisdom… I’ve been struggling with my sexuality a lot, ever since I was a teen really, and you just being there helped,” I smiled at him as I got comfortable in the bed. With that, we fell into a comfortable silence. Sleep wouldn’t find its way to us anytime soon. I think we were both still reeling on the adrenaline of the day. 

But then, I started thinking about our conversation in the car. When I had mentioned I was worried about him (or anyone else) thinking differently of me. I mean, that’s been a fear of mine for years. Someone can go from loving you to the ends of the earth to wanting to be on the furthest end of the earth just to be away from you. So, my fear was totally valid. I didn’t want to lose my friendship with Spencer, or anyone on the team.  

I quickly glanced at Spencer, noting that he was still quietly reading his book. He seemed at total peace with, well, everything. How did he do it? How did he get out of his head after a rough case, and after such a serious conversation? There were too many things I wanted to know, and too many questions I wanted to ask… Why not just ask them?

So, I did...

“Earlier, when you said me being non-binary wouldn’t change the way you think of me… How do…” I paused for a minute, trying to figure my next set of words. Because I could say something wrong, and it’d be the end of everything. “What do you think of me?” I looked up at him as I spoke. He smiled softly and nodded. It was probably a mistake, asking him what his thoughts were on me. I could only think of the worst. Well, I shouldn’t say the worst possible. Worst case scenario was that he was faking it all and he actually hated me. Well, don’t be too hard on yourself.  

“Well, you know,” Spencer shrugged as he shifted closer to me. I looked up at him before leaning away from him. 

“No, I don’t think I do know,” I stared at him, furrowing my eyebrows. He looked at me, dropping his book to his lap and slumping his shoulders slightly. 

“I love you… Okay? I love you whether you’re they/them, she/her, he/him, I don’t care, as long as you’re happy. If you’re happy, then I’m happy, because that’s all that matters to me. Your happiness,” he rambled for a minute. I just stared at him, feeling my shoulders relax as he spoke. My heart rate raised as he continued to talk about how he really felt about me, and I wished he said something sooner… “Hearing Emily misgendering you, and knowing what was going through your head… Sucked… It sucked watching! You deserve the best things…” He continued on, not caring that he was still rambling.

“Spencer,” I whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder to gain his attention. 

“And it’s ridiculous how long I’ve been in love with you too! I should have said something sooner but I didn’t! I don-”

“Spencer!” I shouted this time. It wasn’t an angry shout, though. No, the giggles in my voice and joyful smile on my lips told a different story. And that seemed to get his attention, considering he stopped talking and looked at me. His eyes scanned my face, landing on the joyous smile on my lips. 

“Yes?” He asked softly. I nearly fell into his body, and face, as I let my excitement get the better of me as I tried to kiss him. Spencer laughed as he lifted his hands to my shoulders to make sure I didn’t crash into him.

“I love you too,” I smiled as I looked up at his face. His eyes landed back on my face, his smile becoming soft as he looked at me. The expression his face held showed me that I was now his everything. And, it was a new feeling. I would never get used to a feeling so… grand. But, it was a feeling that I loved, and knew it’d be around for a long time. “What do you think the team will say?” I asked, looking at Spencer as he cupped my face in his hands. 

“About what, Honeybee?” he retorted, his voice a soft whisper. 

“About us, you and me being, well, you and me,” I tried to bite back my smile but failed when Spencer smiled back.

“Who cares what they think… I just care about you,” he smiled before pulling me back in for another kiss. 

“I think I like that answer." 

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ , @thebluetint​

[ectonurites]

can anybody please explain the appeal of tim drake because ive been into the batfamily for a while now and tbh im really confused on why people like his character so much compared to the other robins. like they all have their own thing going on and he just... doesnt?

Have you read his Robin solo? Because if not and you want to try to like him but just don’t understand why people do, that’s what I’d recommend. That and like, Young Justice 1998. 

Because Tim definitely... does have his own thing going on. Maybe not in the same way as the others, but like, there’s a reason he has a 183 issue long solo comic that ran for like 16 years: he was fun to read about!

But I will give some more specific thoughts on the subject as a Tim Drake Appreciator™ (this got long im sorry)

The appeal of Tim (especially early on Tim) is kinda the fact that he’s this more normal kid. For a while that is his ‘thing’. He was basically designed to be a self-insert (he definitely became more than that along the way, but from the start he was meant to be relatable) in a different way than how Dick and Jason had been before him. 

Like the role of Robin from the start was this way to create a character young readers could identify with more, could see themselves in more. And Dick and Jason did that, but they still had this element to their lives and stories that was more... unattainable for the average reader. Dick was a circus prodigy, Jason was either also a circus prodigy if we remember pre-crisis or if we go with his post-crisis story he’s this street-wise orphaned kid who had a really tough life but still went on to be a hero anyways. Obviously those lives are relatable for some people, but those’re definitely not as broadly recognized as common upbringings especially not by DC trying to market to the ‘average’ kid/young teen.

But the creation of Tim changed the game a bit. Dick and Jason were these aspirations a kid could look to like ‘wow I want to be cool like that!’ but Tim was a Robin designed for kids to look at and go ‘wow, his problems and civilian life are just like mine AND he’s a hero, I want to be cool like that!’, ya know? Tim was... just a clever kid with an average life who managed to connect some dots and had enough drive to want to fix things he saw were a problem, he didn’t have the same kind of heightened drama backstory the others did. The Robins that came after Tim definitely didn’t have this idea of relatability in mind the same way either. Unfortunately Steph’s time as Robin was much more of a marketing ploy than an actual like... decision to make her Robin, so it’s hard to really fit her into this conversation. But Damian from the start was first of all initially created not to be Robin but just as the son of Talia and Bruce back in the 80’s, but when he was later reimagined into the character that would become Robin he had the whole ‘raised by and is the heir to the league of assassins and is the son of batman’ thing going on still. He just was not supposed to be relatable that same way, he was a character designed with different things in mind.

I really think it was more just DC’s 90′s era younger-audience comics in general that tried to push that relatability thing (like in YJ how Cissie even after quitting the team stays a major character as a civilian throughout, and the civilian aspect that’s super present in Bart’s 90s solo too, etc), but later in the 2000’s that idea was definitely pushed to the side in favor of... putting in even more dramatic superhero-y stuff.

And the other thing that’s... such a more normal thing but it actually made him unique here, was that Tim’s dad was still alive until like 2004 (so 15 years into Tim being around as a character). This gave Tim a lot more typical ‘family school girlfriends normal life etc’ problems on top of/in contrast with his superhero problems. These just manifested in very different ways than they could with the other Robins because of that unique situation with a living civilian parent who doesn’t know about hero stuff (until he did find out which lead to that whole Unmasked thing, but there was only the brief time around War Games & Identity Crisis where Jack knew Tim was actively Robin and he was... still alive) Tim also had his life at school expanded way more than most other Robins, like, he had such an extended supporting cast of civilian friends which is a really interesting thing to read about (and the fact that he hasn’t had that stuff since the New 52 I think really hurts his character)

And then related to that loss of his dad... Personally another thing about Tim that really interests me is how a lot of things were more... his choice. if that makes sense. A lot of characters in the Batfamily were struck with tragedy/extreme trauma before they became heroes and that’s what spurred them into this life of becoming heroes. Tim’s situation wasn’t like that at all! When he first got involved in everything during Lonely Place of Dying, the only tragedy he’d experienced was watching Dick’s tragedy happen. Which sure yes traumatic obviously, but that’s not the same as how pretty much all the other Bats had gone through these very personal losses or other sorts of very first-hand personal traumas that served as motivators. Tim didn’t start to experience those things until after he got involved in the hero life, and aside from his Mom’s death which was more of just an unrelated incident (that technically happened before he was officially Robin but it was during his time training to become Robin), pretty much all these other tragedies and things... would not have happened or been experienced by him had he not become Robin. 

That’s not me placing blame on him or anything like that, because god no that’s not how that works, but it’s very interesting because from his point of view he definitely feels that guilt because he knows him being Robin played a role in a lot of it (Thinking specifically about in Adventure Comics #3 when Kon even says “I know what guilt does to you” to him like it’s... it’s a thing with him!). His dad was murdered because he was Robin. He only met Steph and started dating her through being Robin, and thus he would not have experienced the loss of his girlfriend dying like that had he not been Robin. Tim met both Conner and Bart through being Robin, and would not have had a personal connection to them when they died otherwise. The whole Bruce’s death thing after Final Crisis, like. I could go on honestly, that was only talking about losses not even his own experiences nearly getting killed, but yeah, all these personal tragedies were experienced by him specifically because he chose to bring himself into this life, which I think in turn plays into how throughout his comics you see him go from having this really optimistic view on things and being really hopeful to seeing him at that low point he reaches by the time of Red Robin. (thinking about that one post that points out how Tim started out in the 90′s as an optimist and Steph a cynic and by the time they were Red Robin and Batgirl in 2009 they had switched outlooks...) 

I also think that him having had such a great team book with the original Young Justice can help contribute to people liking him. His friendships with the rest of the core four and that team in general are really compelling. (and that’s something like again when looking at the other Robins, while Dick had the Titans ofc, Jason never really found footing with a team outside of like one mission with the Titans and then We All Know How Damian’s Teen Titans Stuff Went. Steph also only ever really worked with a team outside the batfam on very brief occasions) and even though I’m not as big of a fan of the 2003 Teen Titans run that came after YJ, people who read Young Justice and also that could follow and be attached to those same characters over a pretty decently long period of time. 

Idk man, I don’t really have an ultimate point here i’m just rambling. I can definitely understand not seeing the appeal to him right away (honestly i’ve been into Batfam since like 2013/2014 and Tim did not become one of my faves until 2020) especially if like... idk when you say ‘into the batfamily’ that can mean a lot of different things. If you’re reading more like the bigger events with the batfam sure Tim can kinda fade into the bg a bit, if you’re more talking about fanon the fanon version of him is prettyyyyy uhhhhh not really the same as how he was in pre New 52 canon, if you’re mainly reading New 52 era Batfam stuff then that Tim I also don’t understand the appeal of bc thats Not My Boy, if you’re interested in a different member primarily and only familiar with Tim when he shows up in things focused on that other character then it’s easy to not really understand the appeal right away bc he’s more there to support that character rather than shine in his own right. 

I think it’s also worth mentioning he’s just not everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine. Like, these are fictional characters and sometimes you just will vibe with a character and sometimes you won’t! idk if this helped at all or even made sense. but yeah. I just think he’s neat 😌

[ssamie]

ten. love is war!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist.                  "snow" masterlist

oikawa grumbled under his breath as he walked alongside of y/n. normally, he would be more than happy to be hanging with her so casually. but that certainly wasn't the case at the moment, seeing as, not only is iwaizumi with them, but also the five other friends of hers

"hey hey, where are we going exactly?" oikawa whispered to her

y/n peered back at him and smiled "well, we're just going wherever. it's been pretty long since i last saw my friends, after all" she said "but you can stay behind if you don't wanna come with oikawa-san" she said with furrowed brows as she took notice of his grumbling

oikawa took one quick glance at reki and grumbled even more as he shook his head "no, im coming with!" he huffed 

y/n nodded and chuckled sheepishly "okay, oikawa-san.. tell me if you need anything" she said 

"hey, actually.. am i even allowed to be here?" oikawa asked with a look of dread as he looks around them 

joe, cherry, miya, reki, and shadow were casually chatting along and yet he felt a little left out. 

"of course, oikawa-san" y/n reassured him with a smile "why? do you feel awkward?" she asked him. she then averted his eyes towards iwaizumi and mused "even iwaizumi-san is getting along with them quite well" she said 

oikawa sweat dropped and followed her line of sight "that's cus he's bonding with joe over some weird crossfit stuff!" he exclaimed. oikawa sighed and stared longingly at his best friend "even miya likes him" he playfully cried "all that kid does is bully me and call me a slime" he sulked 

y/n sweat dropped and chuckled at his antics. "well then, you can stick with me if you want" she mused. "i won't let you feel left out, oikawa-san" she chuckled "since you did the same for me when i fist joined the team, remember?" she smiled 

oikawa stared up at her with comical tears flowing down his cheeks and beamed "thank you! you're the best, y/n-chan!!" oikawa cheered 

y/n laughed as the brunette hugged her arm and leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder. "you look silly oikawa-san, please stand straight" she sweat dropped as she struggled to walk with his towering form clinging onto her 

oikawa laughed and did as he was told, though still keeping their arms locked together. "dont be like that, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed "y know you love me" he grinned cockily 

y/n chuckled and sighed "sure, oikawa-san. whatever you say" she said 

from behind them, reki watched with a smile as she and oikawa goofed around. he's always happy to see her so lively and becoming close with new people, after all. 

"well..??" miya mused as he gestured to the two with an expectant look 

"well what?" reki tilted his head in confusion 

miya rolled his eyes and pulled him down to his height to whisper "aren't you gonna do something?" he asked 

reki furrowed his brows and let out a sheepish laugh "what do you mean?" he asked "what do i need to do?" 

miya sighed in exasperation "you're so stupid. no wonder you can't go up from your position as a slime" he said 

reki huffed and ruffled his hair, making miya groan in annoyance "don't call me stupid! also, what're you even on about?" he said

"what're you gonna do if she suddenly gets together with him?" miya asked him 

reki blinked in response and let out a nervous laugh "what..? what kinda question is that?" he mused 

"and what kind of answer is that?" miya spat out in annoyance "you know what? whatever" he said "just don't blame anyone but yourself if y/n suddenly finds a new best friend and gets a boyfriend that isn't you" miya sneered 

reki frowned and hit him in the head, making miya whimper "shut up! she won't do that" reki said with a meek laugh 

reki peered up at her, watching as she listened to oikawa with a weary look on her face as he rants to her about something stupid with his usual charming but cocky grin. 

"she won't do that." he muttered to himself. "she promised."

soon, all of them had arrived at some random restaurant since y/n and reki had been complaining about food for about an hour straight, and frankly, cherry has had enough. 

"y know, you probably should've declined adam's beef" reki mused. y/n raised a brow and looked at him in confusion "what? why?" she asked "i won either way.." 

reki sighed and turned to look at her "well yeah, but adam's totally nuts! and didn't you promise you won't skate with him anymore?" y/n gulped and looked away from him "i did promise that didn't i.." she mumbled 

"well, it's whatever." she waved it off "it already happened. besides, im totally fine!" she grinned 

reki watched as she went to grab some of the food, only for her to wince as her wounded hand grazed the hot bowl. "ow" she winced under her breath as she cradled her hand 

reki sweat dropped and laughed at her "see? what'd i tell you" he mused as he went to grab her hand "here, let me see—" 

he couldn't seem to finish his sentence since he was beaten to it by oikawa's interjection. "tsk tsk, y/n-chan you gotta be careful you know?" oikawa playfully scolded her as he grabbed her hand and gently massaged her palm to try and ease the pain down 

y/n huffed and nodded along as she let's oikawa hold her hand for a while longer "sorry, oikawa-san" she muttered as oikawa playfully pokes her cheek to annoy her 

"hm." reki pursed his lips as he let out a low hum, watching the scene play out with partial confusion and annoyance 

"haha! be careful next time!" reki exclaimed with a grin as he ruffles her hair and pulled her closer to him, making oikawa loose his grasp on her. "yeah sorry" she grinned sheepishly as she looks up at reki with reddening cheeks 

reki side eyes oikawa and sends him a smile, to which the brunette responded to with an irked and painfully forced smile in return 

"haha, well then.." oikawa mused "here you go, y/n-chan" he said as he held a sushi before her with his chopsticks "you should let me feed you since your hand's pretty messed up" oikawa suggested with a smile 

y/n looked up at the brunette and then down at the sushi and eagerly nodded. "okay!" she said as she went to chomp on the sushi, only to be met with nothing. 

"eh?" she mumbled in confusion as she stares at the chopsticks which were now empty 

"actually, i'll do that!" reki interjected with a sweet smile as he snatches the sushi from his chopsticks with his own "here, y/n! say 'ahh!' " reki cooed as he held it to her with his hand cupping the underside from crumbs 

"oh.. um.. okay?" she muttered in confusion as she turned to face reki with her cheeks slowly heating up "a-ahh" she smiled nervously as she went to eat the sushi, only for it to be snatched away once again 

"my my, reki-kun~" oikawa cooed with an irked smile "you shouldn't pass around people's food" he said "now it's all mushy and gross" oikawa stiffly laughed as he put away the sushi and reached for a new one 

reki took a deep breath and sent him an equally irked smile as well. "ah is that so?" he chuckled "my bad.." 

"have this instead then, y/n" reki said as he reached for a dumpling and held it to her mouth 

"have this instead, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed as he held the sushi to her mouth as well 

"oh..okay.." y/n sweat dropped as she looked at the two boys beside her with a look of dread. "actually, maybe i'll just finish my drink for now—" 

"ha, see! she didn't want the sushi anyways! haha what a shame!" reki cooed as he taunted oikawa 

"well apparently, she's also not in a dumpling mood, is she, reki-kun?" oikawa cooed back through gritted teeth 

as the two boys telepathically argue, y/n sat quietly as her stomach grumbled, wanting nothing more than to eat at the moment. 

"geez. those two slimes really are a good-for-nothing" miya said with a sigh. he then turned to y/n with a smug cat-like grin and held his chopsticks out for her 

"guess i'll have to feed you instead" he cooed with an evil laugh  

y/n beamed and happily munched on the food, "thank you, miya" she said with a smile as she lets miya feed her the meal 

miya chuckled and sent the two boys a smug smirk. reki and oikawa deadpans at him and huffed. "did he just." oikawa muttered "yeah he did." reki replied

"just how long is this gonna go on for?" shadow sighed as he watched oikawa and reki subtly shove each other by masking it with friendly smiles and conversations

"dunno, but im enjoying this!!" miya exclaimed as he happily let's y/n feed him as well

shadow deadpanned as he watched the boy purr and roll around like an over joyed cat. 

"well of course you are" he sweat dropped

"man, just how long til we get there?" reki groaned out as he shuffles around in his seat

"but it's so boring! why can't we just skate there" reki huffed as he reluctantly planted himself still in his seat

"you're not a child. stop acting like one or im kicking you out of this car" cherry said in annoyance

"because it's too far and everyone here will pass out from the heat" cherry responded with a sigh "also.. if its so hot.." he trailed off. "then why are you two cuddling as if its the peak of winter?!" he exclaimed as he gestured to y/n and reki, who was pressed against each other as they both practically melt into a puddle

"because reki said he missed me" y/n replied "so i wanted to comfort him"

cherry peered down at her with a grimace as he took note of her sweat drenched face, and her meek smile "you're sweating all over the seats. that's disgusting." cherry deadpanned

"but i don't want reki to be sad" she reasoned

"he looks perfectly fine to me" cherry shook his head in exasperation "and you." he averted his eyes towards miya "what are you doing?"

miya looked back at him and grinned sheepishly "we're bonding, don't you see?" he cooed with a playful scoff

"bonding?! who the hell said that?! get off me!" oikawa exclaimed as he tried to pluck miya off of his lap 

"we're bonding!" miya hissed at him "it just so happened that theres an ac directly above you, so this position is necessary" he said 

"piss off, catboy" oikawa playfully scowled at him "if it's so hot then take off that damn cat hoodie you have on!" 

"no way!" miya exclaimed as he tried to pry away oikawa's hands, thus causing more chaos within the car 

"hey stop moving around!!" shadow scolded them  from the driver's seat "and you two love birds! stop sweating on my seats!" 

"we're not sweating on them!" reki exclaimed 

"its practically river back there, shut up redhead!" 

cherry had a look of dread on his face as he managed to just sit and endure the whole thing. though that was soon ruined as he turned to look at joe and iwaizumi, only to find them arm wrestling like a bunch of crazy gym freaks. 

"arm wrestling? really?" cherry scoffed in disbelief "in the middle of a car ride? in a moving vehicle?" 

"dont worry kaoru!" joe mused "im totally beating this kid" 

"yeah right" iwaizumi grinned as he slammed joe's arm down with a look of triumph 

"what the?!" joe spluttered "no way! kaoru! he cheated i swear!" he exclaimed 

"i don't care" cherry grumbled back "hey, step on the gas and just take us there for christ's sake" he said to shadow with a weary sigh 

"geez, no need to tell me twice" shadow replied 

"WOAH!" reki and y/n cheered as they looked around the empty skatepark "SO COOL!" they exclaimed as they ran around the open space 

"how'd you find this, oikawa-san?" she asked the brunette with sparkling eyes "i didnt think miyagi even had skateparks!" 

reki perked up and faced him "girls? do you have a girlfriend already or something?" he asked the brunette 

"oh? you like it here huh?" oikawa mused "then let's go again sometime" he suggested "also, one of the girls at school told me about it" he said 

"i don't" oikawa replied with furrowed brows "why?" 

"no reason" reki cooed as he have oikawa a friendly pat on the back "just thought it'd be weird to be so close to y/n if you have a girlfriend" 

"but you don't so it's fine.. totally fine.." 

"oikawa-san is very popular at school so he has a lot of fangirls." y/n explained as she skates past them

"popular?!" reki exclaimed in surprise "you're popular, oikawa-san?!" 

"huh? so what if i am?!" oikawa huffed in response "and why are you so surprised?!" he narrowed his eyes at the redhead. "well i didnt think you would be famous like that" reki said with a laugh "well i guess it makes sense since you're an athlete and all" 

oikawa sweat dropped and peered down at him "i can't tell if you're mocking me or if you're being genuine" he said 

reki smiled at him and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck "im being genuine" he said "its cool that you're a big shot athlete already at your age. you're probably really talented too" reki said "you're pretty admirable, oikawa-san . i can see why y/n enjoys being with you" reki let out a soft chuckle 

oikawa's eyes softened at his words and awkwardly shuffled in his place. "you're pretty cool too, reki-kun" oikawa admitted with a sigh 

"im kinda jealous of you, actually. you don't even have to try and yet.." oikawa trailed off as he watched y/n look at reki with love filled eyes from afar. 

reki looked at him and tilted his head in confusion. "yet what..?" he asked 

oikawa shook his head and waved it off "nothing, nothing. nevermind" he chuckled "just go skate or something" he said "i'm staying here" 

reki grinned and playfully slapped his back. "don't be like that!" he laughed "you're the one who brought us here, so you gotta join in on the fun!" reki beamed as he dragged oikawa over to the rest of the group 

"oh? have you two finally made up?" cherry mused as he watched reki drag oikawa around, while the brunette complains about the wind ruining his hair. 

"made up? but we never fought" reki mused as he got in his skateboard 

"you say that as if we didn't have to sit through your passive aggressive exchange during lunch" shadow sweatdropped 

"eh? what'd you mean?" reki cooed "your memory's going stale, old man shadow!" 

"im only twenty four!" shadow yelled back 

"over already?!" reki whined as they reluctantly followed them to the car 

"well, its already dark" iwaizumi said as he stretched his arms over his head. "and we've been here for hours"

"hes just sad cus he hasn't skated in forever" miya sneered as he skated past them and placed his board into the trunk 

"fine" reki sighed in reply. "hey, was it fun?" he asked oikawa, making the brunette shrug. "it was fun, yeah.. though falling on my ass wasn't exactly the greatest" oikawa replied 

"exactly! let's just stay here for a while!" reki pouted. "we can skate again tomorrow, reki" y/n said with a smile as she patted his back reassuringly 

"don't worry, oikawa-san! you were actually pretty good!" y/n complimented him with a grin 

"yeah yeah, you flatter me too much!" oikawa chuckled as he nudged her playfully with his shoulder 

"anyways, im pretty tired." she yawned. "i think i'll just sleep on the way home" she said as she entered the car and sat down on the leather seats 

"..." 

oikawa and reki side eyed each other, shuffling on their spots as they send each other one last 'friendly' smile before sprinting towards the car, trying to claim the seat next to her. 

"what the hell" iwaizumi deadpanned as he watched them push and shove each other as they fought for the seat beside her "i thought they made up already" iwaizumi sighed 

"and are they really that dumb to not realize she's sitting in the middle." miya chimed in as he peered at the two with a grimace 

"you can sit on both sides, slimes!" miya yelled at them 

"oh right" they both muttered in realisation as they quietly take their seat on either side of her. 

"ehem." reki fake coughed. "y/n!!" he cooed at her with a beaming smile 

y/n looked over at him with tired eyes and smiled back "yes reki?" she asked as her cheeks gradually heat up

"if you ever wanna sleep, you can use me as a pillow" reki suggested with a grin as he patted his shoulder 

"me too! but im probably more comfortable since reki-kun here would probably poke your eye out with his spiky ass hair" oikawa cooed with a sweet smile 

y/n spluttered as she looked back at oikawa with a look of disbelief "what? his.. his hair?" she muttered 

"awh! but oikawa-san, you might suffocate her with the amount of hairspray you have on to keep your hair in place!" reki cooed back with a giggle 

y/n sweat dropped and nervously looked at the two boys as they continue to smile and beam at each other despite their awfully insulting words. "i see.." y/n nervously chuckled. "well, i appreciate it" she said 

"no problem!" they beamed at her

"its been half an hour." miya commented 

"yeah." iwaizumi nodded along "what's gonna happen next? i think i know." 

miya hummed and side eyed them. "y/n's asleep." he muttered in a deeper 'narrator' type voice 

"i see." iwaizumi nodded 

oikawa hummed to himself as he slyly watched her head slowly starting to fall and instinctively lean against somewhere. "wow. this ride's pretty long" oikawa mused 

"her head is falling." miya said. "i see." iwaizumi replied.

"mhm." reki nodded 

a soft sigh could be heard as y/n's head slowly falls towards reki's direction, causing a smug smirk to form on his lips 

"the slime won." miya clapped quietly, with iwaizumi sulking for his friend 

oikawa gritted his teeth as a vein popped out of his temple out of frustration. he swiftly grabbed her head and dropped it down to his own shoulder, waking her in the process from the sudden pull 

"what the..?" y/n mumbled as he looked up at oikawa in confusion 

"nevermind! the other slime won by force!" miya commented as he glared at oikawa while iwaizumi smiled proudly 

"what're you doing?!" reki exclaimed as he grabbed her head and forcefully rested it on his shoulder instead 

"im letting her get comfortable, that's all" oikawa mused as he placed her head back onto him 

"reki?! oikawa-san?! what are you guys doing?! " she frantically asked as she felt her head being shook around, and her neck coming close to snapping 

"shh! sleep!" oikawa shushed her as he held her close and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "i- why are you guys pulling on me?!" she shrieked out 

"okay that's enough." cherry sighed as he turned around to hit both boys on their head with his fan "let the girl rest. and stop fighting." he sighed "just sleep altogether or something"

"how?!" 

in the end, oikawa and reki ended up resting their head on her shoulder while iwaizumi rests peacefully beside them. miya, however, was sprawled out on top of them with his head on y/n's lap and iwaizumi holding his legs down to keep him from slipping 

all in all, it was a cute sight, and whether they admit it or not, joe, cherry, and shadow definitely took loads of pictures. 

"geez." joe sighed 

"these kids are making me feel old" he mused "when was the last time we were like this, kaoru?" he asked as he gestured to their sleeping figures. 

"since never." cherry deadpanned "not once did we ever do that" he said, making joe sweat drop 

"sheesh, atleast play along or something" 

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :>

idk if this is good i'm so sorry 💀 

[azucanela]

Dating korra would include

BEING KORRA’S S/O[GENDER NEUTRAL]

BEING ZUKO’S S/O | BEING SOKKA’S S/O

SUMMARY: life with korra from confession to marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNINGS: no major spoilers 

A/N: SOMEONE WITH T A S T E, i hope you don’t mind but i kinda just did the same thing i did for my zuko headcannons so feel free to scroll straight to the during the relationship bit if you just want dating korra h/c :D 

also i have 300 followers now what, i literally had 200 like yesterday hi everyone <3 um i really need to start pulling out all the stops

GETTING INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

she’s a simp.

that’s it. thats the headcannon. she has literally liked you since she met you and has said nothing, but you probably know since she’s so damn OBVIOUS ABOUT IT

korra is very in tuned with her emotions so when she realizes she likes you she’s pretty okay with it, a little more flustered during your interactions, but after a while her goal is to make you feel how she feel which is flustered.

she has no shame though, she knows she is hot and she wants you to know she thinks you are hot

lots of flirting on her end, so naturally you kinda begin to think she is joking and think nothing of it

this was not her intent, and now that you are desensitized to her flirting and not reacting flustered like you did when she first started she is frustrated™

you were not understanding that she very much likes you

stupid

she hasn’t said anything outright to you about it though, which is the main reason you are like lol this is a joke, my crush fake flirts with me i am okay

spoiler alert: you are not okay with this it hurts ow

so now shes getting ridiculously affectionate with you, which, tbh, she always was, but not its RIDICULOUS, korra is out here throwing an arm around your shoulder, randomly grabbing your hand, kissing your cheek

shes trying really hard to get her point across like really really hard

like painfully hard

if she likes you its probably because your fun, like you really spice up her life and introduce her to new things and go on really dumb adventures and really important missions with her and you put up with her and wow now korra is simping oops

you’re also probably forcing her to stay healthy, since i honestly think that despite having such an appetite, korra will forget to eat and take care of herself sometimes.

she is so bad at drinking water i swear to goD

there are two situations here

situation one is where korra finally realizes that you CANNOT READ SIGNALS AT ALL and decides she going to be upfront with you about her feelings

she’s either going to just flat out kiss you next time she sees you or spill all her emotions, of both in no particular order

you’re like reading in your room in the air temple, just vibing, and you see her coming towards you with a determined look on her face and you’re like ??? lol okay

you go back to reading only to have her hand reach under you jaw and she brings you into a kiss and now you’re like LOL OKAY

you honestly think that this is just another one of her stunts to get you flustered and means nothing

stoopid

and then she pulls apart and just starts spilling her feelings and you’re like :O omg me too 

and she’s like, “great, we’re dating now.” and suddenly she’s kissing you again, and between kisses you’re like, “im sorry what?”

“you heard me. do you have a problem with that?”

you just kiss her again

situation two is where you get sick of her and realize woah she may or may not be in love with you and so you confront her, and now there is a lot of yelling because you are frustrated™ and like screw you korra

you honestly think she is either madly in love with you and just doing this as a joke, and you genuinely think the latter is more like so you lowkey start crying and korra immediately begins to panic

she’s like, “why would i ever joke about that! i’ve literally been trying to get that through your thick skull this whole time!”

this time you kiss her first and korra is throwing a party in her head but she also feels really bad for making you cry oops

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP

okay so korra happens to be very much a simp

and you happen to be very much the mom friend™ it doesn’t matter if you are a boy girl or none of the above, that is your trademark my friend

she’s very affectionate and now that the two of you are dating she is at a whole new level.

important meeting? you are in her lap she does not care. war meeting? she is cuddling you as you explain the plans of attack and DAMN DO YOU LOOK GOOD DOING it

since being the avatar is MUCH more a political position now though, she does try to keep your relationship slightly on the down low, even before you were dating, you both had reporters constantly asking about your relationship and she doesn’t really like that

they are nosy and she does not approve. korra understands wanting to know about her avatar duties, but anything outside of that in regards to her personal life annoys her

loves kissing you, and when she does it tends to be intense and passionate. after a particularly tough day though, her kisses can either be slow and sensual because she just wants to have a nice soft and domestic day with you

OR

they can be harsh and almost brutish, she will get rough with you because she is highkey pissed at everything that day and making out you with is her stress reliever

really likes cuddling and anything domestic in general. she’s really happy with you, and she kinda has all the love languages

she seeks validation when the press is particularly harsh since being the avatar is HARD and as much as she wants to, she cannot please anyone, so please tell her she is doing amazing

so many acts of service up in here, she will randomly do stuff for you, spontaneity is kinda her vibe ya know

very vocal and expressive about her feelings, communication is key with her

arguments aren’t a rarity tbh, but when they do happen they tend to be more of debates over little things like what’s better, pineapple pizza or no?

major fights tend to end poorly since she can be a little stubborn when it comes to such things, but she will admit she was wrong and apologize IF she was wrong

if she wasn’t wrong but the argument got out of hand, she’ll apologize for that but will affirm her correctness

kiss her scars, she has them, and she is proud of them but 

support her at her pro bending matches and she will DIE, so happy, literally sososososososo happy, hugs you, loves you, yes

treats you as an equal no matter what, even if people think that as the avatar she should see herself as something more than

very protective of you.

like if someone flirts with you, she is clingy x10. if someone hits on you despite your protests, she HITS them. if someone threatens to hurt you, she promises to end them. 

MARRIAGE N STUFF

WELP

she’s gonna realize she wants to propose when she almost loses you, or in the middle of a battle. when the reality of potentially losing you hits her she is gonna realize she wants to live out the rest of her life by your side, protecting you

situation one is where she literally, in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE, without a ring, just proposes. you are being a baddie, bending if you are a bender, fighting the opposing enemy, looking MIGHTY FINE while doing it

“marry me.”

you falter, nearly getting hit as your head whips over to her and you’re like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

and she throws a giant rock at the opposition, temporarily indisposing them, “yes?? why wouldn’t i be.”

Someone comes up behind you and you elbow them in the face and ram your foot into their knee, knocking them down, “RIGHT NOW?” 

she throws a whip of water in your direction and you dodge it, allowing her to take out the enemy behind you, and you throw a whole dagger at her to do the same. “that was close.” she narrows her eyes at you bc you lowkey look like you wanna kill her rn as you two hide behind a barricade for cover and an explosion washes over it, “you could’ve killed me.”

“you just about gave me a heart attack when you PROPOSED two minutes ago, need i remind you.”

korra raised a brow at you, “is that a no...?”

“do you even have a ring?”

korra gives you a look that gives you the answer and you groan, “i cannot believe you.”

“you really should’ve expected this.”

“i know.”

“i get to pick the ring then?”

“you’re probably going to plan the whole wedding.”

“alright.”

theres a boom from beyond the barricade you two have hidden behind as korra looks to you, “alright?”

“i’ll marry you.” you elaborate, giving her a bright smile.

situation two is more depressing lol

you have been SHOT oops, don’t die pls because korra CANNOT handle it after everything that has happened to her, so if you die she’s done

she’s kinda just sitting at your bed side and it hits her that you could die basically any day now, and she would have so many regrets

she wished she kissed you more, told you she loved you more, held you longer, spent more mornings with you and your bedhead, she wished she learnt to cook so that she could surprise you with a meal when you get home from a long day of work, she wishes she did a lot of things

she wishes you two were married.

korra is now having an existential crisis, and everyone is telling her that she has to go home, get some rest, you’ll wake up eventually, you’ll get better, but you don’t wanna wake up to korra being a mess

she knew they were right, you always scolded her for not taking care of herself, so she decided to follow some of their wishes

Korra cannot bring herself to go home, there are so many reminders of you that it hurts, and she kinda just decides she’ll stay in a hotel and wash up and such.

besides, you are her home.

after leaving the hotel, she ends up going the jeweler and buying the ring she believes screams you

when korra returns to the hospital, she contemplated proposing right then and there, before realizing that you’d probably yell at her for choosing such a ridiculous time and you already had a lot on your plate

once the two of you return home and you are in the midst of recovery, she did learn to cook, so you wouldn’t feel the need to do so, and given your situation she fears you’ll injure yourself further in the process.

you two are eating dinner and you’re babbling on about something you’d read, and she suddenly decides to get up and walk over to you, leaving you like ???

then she gets down on one knee and you are like :O

she’s like, “marry me.”

naturally, you start crying and nodding because wow this is such an intimate moment and just happiness

kissinggggg after that 

the wedding is, under NO CIRCUMSTANCE public, the most private and intimate wedding ever. korra hates reporters after her life as the avatar, she doesnt want strangers at her wedding.

any and everyone she has ever fought beside is there though, its wholesome and nice

definitely cries when she sees you at the altar

her vows are MASTERFUL AND TEARJERKING 

its a pretty basic wedding though, unless you prefer something over the top, the food is nice a mix of both your cultures and favorite things and there’s beautiful lighting

definitely done on air temple island, and tbh tenzin would probably walk you down the aisle because i said so

married life with her is even better, she lives for he domesticity of it all, especially lazy sunday mornings with the light filtering in and you just looking all pretty and having a lil fun

iykyk

honeymoon in the spirit word lads

bolin is your number one supporter

life with korra is a 10/10 i do recommend it

A/N: im kinda in love with korra lol this requests made me happy

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 48 - Nike CM inundated with criticism.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Ok, lets get started, Joe, if you please.

J: Yes, uh, last week's episode...the first episode of the year, we were talking about poo, haha. It shows what a wide scope this show has. This week I have some more serious news. This was quite a talking point back in December, I think many people will already be aware of it. Its the news about the Nike commercial which recieved an avalanche of complaints. The promotional video made by Nike Japan, 'Keep moving - yourself - the furure. The Future isn't Waiting' has taken a lot of criticism. The view count on youtube had reached a million views as of last December, but at the same has recieved a lot of negative comments thought to be from Japanese users. The majority of these seem to be from online right-wingers saying things like, 'Racist discrimination is extremely rare in Japan (This cm is outrageous)',  'There is no discrimination against Koreans in Japan, even if there was there would be a reason for it', 'Nike is anti-Japan, Im not buying from there any more', 'Are Nike aware that the Association of Korean residents in Japan (Chongryon) were involved in the abuductions of Japanese people?' etc. Incidentally, there are 3 young people who appear in the commercial mainly. One of them appears to be a Korean resident of Japan. She is shown walking the streets looking down, while wearing Chima jeogori, and also being bullied at school, likely due to her ethnicity. The online anti-Korean, right wing Japanese sphere are thought to dislike this depiction. To summarise, their reaction to this CM has been to say it shows contempt for Japan, by suggesting that Japan is following the same kind of trend as the West in terms of discrimination, even though Japan hardley has any discrimination compared to the West (they think)....

So I checked out this cm as soon as it became news, and the first thing I thought is that these kinds of comments have kinda missed the point. The second thing I thought was in regards to the claim that anti-Korean discrimination is extremely rare in Japan. I personally have quite a few Korean-Japanese friends, and they have said that since they were small, throughout school, they have faced discrimination. Well, discrimination isn't a uniquely Japanese thing, many countries also have discrimination. Im not saying we are the only ones who have it, but I am at least very aware that, even in Japan, discrimination does exist. Well, I mean, how should we interpret this CM?

T: As for the meaning, I get that it shows there is discrimination, but after that it must somehow be related to sports, being Nike?

J: Yeh, so when you see these young people in the CM suffering discrimination, they are each doing different sports. Its like, if you excell at your sport, you can change your own future, kinda. A message like, even though there is discrimination, if you find your calling, you can change the world with it.

T: I see.

J: Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Well, even with that, its definitely not wrong.  *1

J: Yeah, as for Nike, they must have made it this way deliberately. They made a Korean resident of Japan the protagonist on purpose, so they are trying to put out the message of 'lets stop this kind of discrimination'. And with sports, surely...well, its not limited to sports, if there is anything that someone really excells at, they can overcome discrimination with that, and create something new. I think thats the message of this CM. But..

K: Its a bit difficult to get that message across.

J: Well, yeah...

K: To get that across as the point.

T: Yeah.

J: Hmm, yeh. Another thing I was unsure about was the response from the mass media. When this kind of news appears, they use the phrase 'the cm is under fire/recieved a backlash'. But as far as I could see, I had a look at the comments, they seemed a lot more like false accusations, or like harassment. So if you use that to say the CM is under fire, it makes it seem like the fault lies with the CM. All I could see was harassment from the right-wing. And its probably not a lot of people writing this stuff. Its more likely to be a few people from one group doing it. So I thought it was a bit wrong of the media to present the issue as if the CM is under fire, as this makes it seem like the problem it the CM itself. It seemed to me like just a lot of false accusation.

K: Hm, well, they made this CM, knowing it would be an easy target for accusations. So, its kinda hard to see what their aim was with this.

J: Yeah, I see.

T: For example, if they had made the protagonist a really famous sports star, it might have been easier to get the point across..with their story. But because the CM features these 3 kinda abstract characters, the meaning gets a bit vague.

K: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Im not entirely sure what they are trying to say with this.

J: I see, yeh. You think there is room for criticism in that sense?

K: Im not sure about criticism, but for the CM itself, I wasn't sure what they were saying, although Im sure there are people who understand the meaning of it.

J: So as of now, the CM has not been shut down, so if anyone wants to watch it, they still can if they are interested. If any of the viewers have any thoughts on it, please leave a comment on this video.

T: Yeah, they are definitely not showing off their shoe performance with this CM. Though their specific goal isn't obvious, I reckon this is fine. If it starts debate, then its good.

K: Well, yeah, if it creates the opportunity for debate, then its good.

Kami: Um, there is a lot to debate about this cm, but Nike shoes are cool, right?

J: Ah, he joined us.

Kami: Do you guys all have Nike shoes?

T: Yeah, I do.

K: I do.

J: Ahh, I havn't bought any Nike shoes recently.

T: I've always worn Nike. The basketball one's, Jordans.

K: Oh, I have those too.

J: Are they like the low-tech ones?

K: What do you mean by low-tech?

J: Like, not the Air Max type.

T: Well, yeah, they don't have air in them.

J: Right.

Kami: No, the Air Max ones are good.

J: He likes Air Max, haha.

Kami: The Air Max ones are easy to get on, and you don't get tired. Is it different for you guys?

K: No, well, they're ok yeh. Haha. I can't deny that.

J: Right, yeh. Kami, you are a fan of the Air Max ones?

Kami: Yeah.

T: People used to go hunting for Air Maxes, do you remember?

J: Oh, yeah, they did.

T:...when they were really popular, in the 90s. Kami probably bought some of them then.

Kami: I did, I did.

J: You hunted for them?

Kami: No, I didn't hunt for them.

J: Imagine Kami going hunting for Air Maxes.

Kami: I didn't hunt for them. I just bought them normally.

J: Ah, ok. Haha, if you did you wouldn't be a god at all.

Kami: You can only get them through lottery these days, right?

K: Yeah.

J: Oh, really?

K: Yeah, the popular ones. Airmax, and other types like Jordans.

J: Oh, right.

Kami: I don't buy those types though.

J: Oh, you don't buy those?

Kami: No.

J: Ahh, you just buy the normal ones, without lining up or doing a lottery and stuff?

Kami: Yes.

T: There are some that cost a huge amount of money. Collaboration items and stuff.

J: Ehh.

Kami: I shop in Shibuya ABC Mart.

K: There was a collaboration with Dior.

J: Nike collaborated with Dior??

K: Yeah, they are about ¥1million yen.

J: Ehhh??

T: Yeah, they are.

J: Ehh? Its not even leather.

Kami: Shibuya ABC store is good!

J: Hahaha

K: Ahh, yeh, its good.

J: Of course, right? Kami, do you shop there?

Kami: Yeah, cause they have a lot in there.

K: Haha, yeah...ABC does.

J: It does, yeh.

Kami: You can buy whenever you like.

J: Well, yes, thats true. I havn't bought any sneakers recently though.

K: You don't have that kind of image.

J: Thats right, I don't. I usually buy leather shoes.

K: Dr Martens?

J: Yeah, Dr Martens. I worked with Dr Martens last year. Would love to again this year!

K: Should we all go out and buy some? haha

J: To ABC Mart? haha

Kami: I also buy them on Amazon.

J: Eh?!

K: I bought some on Amazon just earlier

J: Oh, you buy them on Amazon?

T: Aren't there a lot of rip offs on Amazon?

J: Hm, are there?

T: I had a look on there before to see if there were any Air Maxes, and there were complete rip off versions going for as cheap as ¥2000. When its normally ¥12000, thats cheap. When you look, its not actually Nike, but 'Ni-kay' or something.

J: There are rip offs of Dr Martens like that too. They look exactly the same but super cheap. I saw two pairs going for ¥5000. They were so cheap, I bought them, and when they arrived they were no good at all. They looked the same as the real thing, but they leather was artificial..I thought, 'Aghh!'.

K: These days even brands are making things like copycat products, aren't they?

J: Yeah, yeah. Like putting out fake versions as the real product. Thats also interesting, its like a totally different approach. It has an effective punch, 'Fake!'.

K: Well, anyway, is that about it?

J: Yep.

K: Thank you for watching this week too. Please subscribe.

*1 Not entirely sure I've got that right.

Back to top

[agentsoftie]

stitches and ditches

summary: y/n and spencer get in a fight. due to the fight y/n goes to the hospital where she gets taken. spencer has to find her before it’s to late

a/n: plot holes. plot holes everywhere. so i’m sorry for that, super sorry. also like i don’t really know how to write fight scene and stuff ig so sorry if it sucks. and i skipped like 3 classes for this, so don’t let it flop

warnings: fight, angry spencer, torture, a case, violent spencer (idrk what to call it) and whole lotta angst. i happy ending though! kinda, idrk

word count & pairing: spencer x (fem) reader & 4.1k

remember to like and reblog!!

It all started the day he came home from work. This was one of the longest trips he’d been on so you decided to make him his favorite. Pumpkin Pie. And god knows how hard it is to make pie, but you did it anyways, for him. It wasn't too late when he got home but It wasn't too early either. More like the time right after dinner and just before dessert. You had just got the pie out of the oven when you heard the door open and someone walk in.

“Spencer! Finally you’re home! How are you!” You said while he put his bag away. He didn't turn to look at you yet which was kinda weird since the first thing he does when he gets home is kiss you right on the lips. “Fine,” He mumbled while sitting down at the table still not looking at you. “Spencer, come on what’s wrong?” You asked while grabbing his hands, but he immediately retracted. Which made sense because of who he was, but you’re not gonna admit that it didn't hurt. “Nothing Y/N.”

You knew that something was wrong, and it didn't take a profiler to see that. Everything about him was just off. “Come on, it's me. You can tell me anything.”

“Y/N.” Spencer said in a deep tone. You’d never heard him like this or seen in that sense. He was always happy to see you, to be with you. And were with his too. “Spencer no, come on. I can see that you’re clearly not fine. So come on, open up.”

“Y/N I said I’m fine!” You were appalled. He had never raised his voice at you, but it was bound to happen one day, you just. You just were shocked. “Spencer,” You said in a low voice completely contradicting his loud yell. “What!”

“Spencer calm down!” You say yelling at him. Although you realized that yelling at someone to calm down probably wasn't the best way to do it.

“No Y/N, you need to just stop and shut up!” Shut up. That’s the first time he’s ever told you to shut up. Infact, you think it's the first time he’s ever told anyone to shut up.

“Spencer just talk to me! It’s not that fucking hard!”

“No Y/N it is. It's tremendously hard and you just wouldn't understand.”

“Just tell me. And I'll see if I understand. But don't just gatekeep your emotions and feelings.”

“Y/N I said no! Why cant you listen to simple fucking directions! It’s not that fucking hard!” Each and every time he yelled at you, it's like your heart physically broke. And you could feel it breaking. But how do you tell him to stop? All you wanted was to know how he feels. Was that really so hard?

“Spencer why the hell are you acting like this! I understand that your job is hard but that doesn't mean that you can pour all your anger out on me! And if you are gonna do that, you can at least do the kind thing and share how you feel! And what's wrong! I mean, is that really so much to ask!”

“Oh really, that's how you wanna play this! You think this is just a little game don’t you!”

“Game Spencer! You think I play this as a game! Well this game is my life!” You were drop dead angered at this point. “What in the world gives you the right to act like this! Please, explain!” All he does is scoff at you. “I'm not joking Spencer! Why the hell are you acting like this! You've changed!”

“Oh I’ve changed! Y/N you've changed! You're always trying to kiss up my ass! I mean jesus! All you want is money! Like god!”

“Oh I want money! Spencer! I don't need your pathetic money! It may not have dawned on you since you couldn't bother to care, but I make a good amount of money. Yeah, you’re not the only one who paid for this place. So stop acting like you are.”

“Oh wow! Haha, you sick son of a,” He stopped immediately after realizing what exactly he was saying.

“Say it Spencer! Finish the goddamn sentence!”

“Y/N, you know I wont.” He says in a shift of tone. Still equally as affecting though.

“Why? Huh? You've already said so much, just wrap it up with a nice little red bow on top!”

“Y/N, stop,” He said, his tone getting more and more demeaning by the second.

“Do it Spencer! Do it!”

“Goddamn it Y/N I said stop!!” He yelled before throwing a glass at the wall behind you. You both immediately shut up, as trying to process what just had happened. Did he actually just try to hurt you? No, Spencer would never do that. Would he? You touched the back of your head and felt blood on your ear. You looked down at the blood and Spencer walked towards you but all you did was pull back from his touch.

“Don’t,” You mutter in fright. Putting your hands up against his chest, but not touching. His eyes looked at you as if they were trying to say something but just couldn't. You grabbed your purse, keys, phone, a coat, and slipped into some shoes. “Y/N, where are you going?”

“To the clinic or hospital or whichevers open right now. To get this checked out and stitched up.”

“Y/N, come on just stay here. I can stitch it up. I can do everything. Just dont leave. Im sorry, okay. I- I don't know why I did that. I promise I didn't mean too.” He begs and pleads but you just can't say with him tonight. No, not tonight. Tonight was too bad, tonight was a dent that was not going to be fixed.

“I just can't, Spencer. Okay, not tonight. There’s some pasta in the fridge, and I love you… I guess.” And with that you got in your car and left leaving Spencer to just sit in his own tears. He just sat at the table thinking of everything he did wrong. Everything that went wrong. And the worst part is that absolutely nothing wrong or bad happened at work today. He was just exhausted, that's all. And instead of telling his girlfriend, he started a fight. And he knew that you were in the right, for everything.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Dr. Michael Gray. And it looks like something happened to your ear.” He says while standing at the door.

“Oh hi! Haha. And um… I thought that nurses were supposed to, you know, stitch up stitches.”

“Oh yeah, well they are. But you’re just so gorgeous I pass up the offer.”

“Oh, haha,” You say, not knowing how to feel. Although there was one thing you knew, and that was that this was uncomfortable as hell. “Well, I mean I do have a boyfriend.” You said just so he wouldn't try to make any moves.

“Oh well hey! Do you have any siblings or friends? I'm fine with absolutely anyone and everyone.” He says while disinfecting your ear and pulling the glass out.

“You’re Pan?” You ask to distract yourself from the pain.

“Yeah. You’re not gonna request another doctor now right?” He asks while carefully taking out the glass and putting it on a white napkin in front of you. That was a big piece.

“No, of course not!” You say in offence. “How could you ever think that.”

“It happens a lot with people. Especially the pretty ones. They automatically get turned off when I tell them I like everyone. I don't care about your gender, just your personality and how you treat me.”

“Oh well I would never. And it sucks that-that happens.”

“Yeah. Okay, so here comes the fun part. Hey, how did you even get these stitches? Or, why do you need them? Like how did you get to this point?” He says while slowly stitching up your ear.

“Ha, I get it. You’re just fine. And all of this is due to my boyfriend.” You say in pain.

“Wait,” He stops doing what he’s doing and just stands there. “Your boyfriend did this?”

“Yes. And before you say anything else, I am not in an abusive relationship. Okay, he just had a bad day and I guess I made it even worse. And trust me, he didn't mean to do it.” You say as he finishes stitching up your ear.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He asks while pouring out a liquid into a small cup.

“No.”

“Then, come stay with me. At my place. And here drink this, it’ll help with the pain. A lot.”

He says while giving you a small cup filled with what looked like to be a crushed up powder poorly mixed in with water. Or whatever that the liquid was.

“Oh no. We just met.” You spoke before drinking it.

“You got anywhere better to stay? Plus my shift ends in 5 so it would be the most practical decision.”

You knew that it was wrong. After everything that Spencer had told you. But for some reason you still went. Even though you knew you should have gone back home to Spencer. And god knows what he was doing right now. But you couldn't just let your pride fall and go home. That would be pathetic. “You know what, okay! I mean what the hell! You seem nice and I’m not in the mood to face him again. Or at least for now.”

“Sweet!”

“Just one question… are you gonna kill me?” It was a stupid question to ask, you know. But after everything that Spencer and his family have been through. And with what happened to haley, you just couldn't help but to ask.

“No Y/N, I’m not gonna kill you. Now come on, let me get logged out and let's leave this place. Oh and Y/N, you can call me Michael.” He says while taking off his lab coat.

“Okay Michael.”

He brought you into his car and the drive to his place felt like hours. Although you really couldn't remember most of it since you passed out a quarter way through. The last thing you do remember is him putting his hand on your thigh and looking over at you with a smirk.

It had been 3 days. 3 days since you left to get your ear stitched up. 3 days since Spencer had last seen you. Since you had seen him. Or any of your friends. 3 days since you left your life. In those 3 days, Spencer completely lost himself. All of the books were on the floor. The bed was an absolute mess. And the kitchen was left just as it was the night it happened. He, himself, was a mess. His hair had not been brushed. He was still wearing the same clothes. And he’d been surviving on coffee and granola bars.

“Guys, we got a new case, come on.” Penelope chimes as they all do paper work. Spencer can’t help but look at his phone every 2 minutes just waiting for a text or call or any sign of life and/or love.

“What’s wrong pretty boy?” Derek asks.

“Yeah, you've been acting tense lately.” JJ adds.

“Nothing, It’s just Y/N,” He gruffs.

“Do I smell relationship problems,” Derek says jokingly.

“Derek!” JJ scoffs. “What's wrong Spence?”

“Nothing I just… Look, something happened, and now she’s not answering any of my text and calls, and I'm starting to get worried. That's really all there is.”

“Well what happened exactly? To you know, make her leave I guess.” JJ asks.

“Um, we had an argument. A pretty bad one. I came home after the case. The Checkersfeild one. And um, I was just tired. And instead of telling her that, I got super mad and said some things that I regret. And also did a thing I regret. A lot. And I would explain everything to her if she answered whenever I called or texted but she didn't.”

“How bad was the argument?” She asks again.

“Pretty bad. It was our first, but it was really bad. Just words coming and pouring out.”

“Spencer, how long have you and Y/N been dating?” Derek asks in shock at the fact that he just said ‘first argument’.

“2 and half years now.”

“And you two have never fought? What's this secret that you're keeping from me.”

“Well you know, we had our mutual disagreements. And sometimes we argued a little but it was small and it lasted for like an hour. And right after we would apologize and everything would be okay. It would all be fine.” Spencer said, his voice got longer and slower as the words went on.

“Wow, um… Spencer. You really love her, don't you.” Derek asked.

“Yeah. I really do, don't I.” Spencer says while walking into the briefing room.

As everyone sat down Derek couldn’t help but to keep looking at him. He knew that Spencer was hiding something, he just didn't know what. Or how to figure it out.

“Okay everyone this is Isabella Stines. The latest victim of our new unsub. Police are calling him The Ditcher. Since, as you can see, they leave the body in ditches after what looks like hours and hours of tourture. 5 other people were found too. First was Mindy Kindle, then Jake Johnson. Next, Rosé Hinnings, then we have Jennifer Gordon. And last, and hopefully least, Kross Noing. The ‘K’ is silent.” Penelope says while everyone looks down at the picture of the crime scenes and blood smeared across the screen.

“Do they have anything in common?” Spencer asks just before his phone starts ringing. He immediately picks it up even though the rule that Hotch made up states that you can't answer phones when you’re in the briefing room getting briefed for a new case. “Y/N.” Spencer asks, not knowing who this was since he didn't have enough time to look at the caller ID. “No, this is Sharron Richard, her boss. She hasn't shown up to work for these past days and we’re getting worried. She has a case coming up and this is a big one for her. We’ve been trying to contact her, but she’s not answering. So we called you since she left you as her backup or whatever you call it. So, have you seen or heard from her?” Sharron asks over the phone.

“Um no I- I haven't.” Spencer mutters through the phone so no one except Sharron could hear it. Although that failed miserably.

“Oh, okay. Well if you hear from her, or see her anytime soon. Please tell her to contact us.” And with that the phone was hung up.

“Pretty boy what was that?” Derek asks.

“Uh, nothing. Just a call from Y/N’s work. Apparently she’s been missing. Although you already knew that so…” Spencer said while looking down at his phone more time, then putting it away. Everyone just gave him this weird look of dissatisfaction.

“Okay anyway, yes there are some similarities. And luckily, all of these are taking place here so you guys won't be flying out anywhere! Or wait, isn't that a bad thing?” Penelope exclaims.

“Garcia,” Hotch says in his natural stearn and damning voice.

“Sorry boss. Anyways, The ME found traces of propofol and thiopental in each of their systems. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a drug that doctors use to get patients into a coma before surgeries and/or if it's needed medically.”

“So only doctors would have access to it?” Emily asks.

“Over here in Virginia, yes. There are no stores that sell it here due to too many people ODing.” Spencer answers. “Garcia, did the ME find any signs of sexual assault?”

“No they did not. Looks like it was just tourture.”

“Hey Garcia, did they have anything else in common?” Emily asks.

“Yeah check this out. Each of the victims have a medical visit to “The Charleston Hospital” the night before dying. Or getting captured at least. And, it looks like each of them came in after what looked like an action of abuse. It was hard to spot but luckily the bill got it.”

“Okay, thank you Garcia. JJ, Prentiss, come with me. We’re going to the crime scene. Rossi, you go to the ME. Morgan and Reid stay here and try to find some things and connections. And Garcia, you just do what you do best.” Hotch says while getting up.

Everyone was gone from the briefing room except for Garcia who was taking down some files, and Spencer, who was looking at the file. But one part in particular. Could it have happened. No, it couldnr have. Could it?

“Hey Garcia?” He asked.

“Yes sugar,”

“Can I get something?”

“Why of course, what is it that you need?”

“Um, I need records and security tapes.”

“Come with me my sweet child.” She says while walking out the door and into her office, or as she likes to call it, batcave.

“Okay here are the records for-” She got cut off by a frantic Spencer.

“No, not for them, but for Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Your girlfriend?” She asks.

“Yes, my girlfriend.”

“Um, okay. So yeah. It looks like she went to Charleston um about 3 nights ago for some stitches.”

“And the security tapes. From that night. Can you see where she went? Or if she got in her car?”

“You doubt me. Don't doubt me. Okay so here. It looks like she got into this car. But, it looks like there is someone with her. Im sorry Spencer.”

“Don't be. Just, what’s the licence plate numbers?”

“Um, 56HI90ZC3. Spencer, if you want, we can talk about it.” She says in a soft tone. Thinking that his girlfriend would be cheating on one of her friends.

“No not now. I just need you to track that car, can you do that?”

“Done. Okay so it looks like the last time the car was spotted was here, Cherry Ann Avenue. It looks like they took a turn in this field, and that's all.”

“Great, I need you to contact Hotch and Rossi, and tell them that we got the guy.”

“On it. But, hey do you wanna talk about it?”

“Garcia, we don't have any time. Someone I love is in danger and I don't wanna waste a single second.”

You woke up to the smell of blood, the sound of crickets, and a gut wrenching pain, everywhere across your body.. Crickets everywhere. You looked down to see many cuts. Cuts all over your body, everywhere. And in one place, you swear you saw a knife. What had happened? How long was I out? You tried to remember everything but all you could was getting in a fight with Spencer and then getting in a car with a doctor. Or a nurse, or whoever they were.

“Ah, so you're up.” Michael said as he walked up from the shadows behind him.

“Who are you and what do you want?” You say trying your best to back away from him but something ties you down.

“You forgot who I am already. I must have added a little more meds in there for you. Huh, well that's alright. I’m Michael. More professionally, Dr. Michael Gray.” You just sat there trying to hear him over the intense pain you were in. Almost as if you'd been stabbed 100 times, maybe you had, who knows. “You see, your boyfriend was being the abusive piece of shit he is and so now I'm helping you. Helping you get better.”

“You sick bastard. You're not helping me, you're causing me pain.” You say as he gets closer and closer to your face.

“Shut up!!” He says as he slaps you. “I know what I’m doing!! Do you know how many people I’ve put out of misery!!” He yells in your face. You can feel the spit reaching your face as he does this.

“You’ve hurt those people. You've put them through pain. So much pain. Instead, you could have helped them. But this, this is not help, no this is torture, abuse, assult.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!!” He yelled while throwing the metal tray on the table across the room. “YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WHAT YOU'RE PATHETIC LITTLE BOYFRIEND DID TO YOU WAS GOOD. YOU DESERVED IT!! Don't deserve me, or my help!”

You were shocked. You were scared. You were terrified. But you didn't want to admit it. And the sad part is, all he truly wanted to do is help you. But just at that moment you heard sirens. Sirens everywhere, and they got louder and louder until you saw the colors. Flashing up against the brown wooden wall and the shag carpeting on the floor.

Suddenly you heard a loud bang, the door had come down. “Michael Gray!” You heard someone yell. “Michael, we know what you've done, and we know that you’re here!”

“No, this can't be happening. No no no no no. NO!” He yelled in panic. The most stupid thing to do when you’re trying to hide.

Suddenly 3 people came rushing to the room. One of them happened to be your boyfriend. Who ran over to you immediately without any hesitation.

“Hey Y/N, it's me, Spencer. You're gonna be okay.” He said while holding you. All you did was smile and nod. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, but you just couldn't. You were so sore and tired. And all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Even though you knew that you shouldn't have since, well, you know. You would probably die. But you just couldn't help it.

You woke to a bright light. Or multiple in this case. Why was everything so white. White hurts people. You felt a tug to your hand as you saw who was holding it, Spencer. He stayed. And for god knows how long. He was asleep, and you didn't want to wake him. Poor boy looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep for the past week or so. You checked the clock as the time read 10:37pm. Perfect, just the most perfect time to wake up. You tried to grab your phone, but you had to stretch to get it, and you were not doing that.

Spencer, although woke up from your failed attempt at grabbing your phone. “Y/N, you're awake.” He said dreamily with his eyes half shut.

“Hi Spencer.”

Once he truly realized what was going on, he jumped up from his seat and gripped your hand tighter than before. “Y/N baby, how are you? Are you okay?”

“Well, truthfully. No, I am not okay. I mean, I just got tortured for god know how long, and I think I’ve been asleep. But again, I don't know how long. And oh god, I had my case that I’ve been working on for the past 6 months that was supposed to happen and I missed it!” You say as if the world was ending. He just looks at you. No emotion, just stares.

“Y/N it’s okay. I sorted that out, don't worry. You’re just okay. Why did you go with them anyway?”

You don't know how to respond. Do you tell him everything, or tell him nothing at all. Do you leave out some bits? No, he deserves to hear the whole truth. “Spencer, after what happened that night, I was terrified of what was gonna happen if I came home. And my friends were out of town. So I really had no choice.”

“Y/N,” His voice cracked. “I am so sorry for what I did to you. I truly didn't mean to do that, it just happened. And I don't know why.”

“I know.”

“You probably hate me, and I get that. I would hate me too if I were you. I mean, look at what I put you through. I’m so sorry. And I understand if you wanna breakup and stuff. But, I just wanna say that I love you. I truly do.”

“Spencer,” You say while looking down at your hands, then back up. “I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Not after everything you’ve done for me. I love you, I do.”

He just smiled and kissed you on your forehead. “Y/N, you wanna about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Everything that happened today.”

“Sure, but how about we talk about everything that happened the other day. I mean, I made you pie Spencer, Pie!” He just sat there while you were laughing looking into your eyes. “I love you.” He said. You just smiled and held his hand, “I love you too.”

tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, and @himarisolace