#im fully expecting this to end in tragedy

[youngpettyqueen]

sorry not sorry but im here for La'an and Kirk in this episode. its true to Star Trek tradition of one-off episode romances. its cute. its fun. its not taken super seriously. im enjoying myself

[july-19th-club]

nooooo not your first two reasons for staying in the city you are legally trapped in instead of absconding forever with billions of dollars worth of stolen art being the married couple who have slowly but surely absorbed you into their relationship and welcomed you into their life. a guy who has never had a place he wasn't obligated to leave feeling at first trapped by his circumstances but then coming to enjoy the idea of a permanent home and unwilling to be pressured away from it . surely no further events will transpire that might cause him to lose faith in this ideal and, feeling it necessary, strike out once again into the lonely world as a traveling thief with no port of call and no living name

[vexingwoman]

I'm sorry if this isn't articulated well and is a little rambly, I'm autistic, please take my words with a grain of salt. as a former member of that "whump community" (who's still into that kind of media) I know most of them are tifs, tho I was in it more when most of the popular writers on tumblr were still girls. It's also primarily autistic people from my experience.

you're definitely 100% right that they're not identifying as real men, I'm detrans and i don't even conflate the 2 in my mind which i think is a thing most RFs don't get about yaoi and this kind of thing, i didn't want to be a real guy, fictional men r like their own species lol. they're everything real men could never be. it might be hard to understand if you're less chronically online but I'm sure though not consciously, fictional men aren't even really related to real men in most of these people's minds.

With whump stuff I was always more uncomfortable or uninterested when it was a woman, maybe because women in media being hurt and weak is the norm (and it feels too real seeing a woman getting hurt since there's a closer connection), and it happening to men is an intriguing reversal. More male attracted women (im bi) are into more sensitive guys which sadly mostly exist in media, so it's just escapism.

I think that's also why they identify as trans males, they want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive, or possibly being autistic and having trouble separating your special interests and escapist fantasies from every facet of your life.

(For context, this was sent in response to this post)

I think you’re onto something here. Brutality against female people is so common that we’re completely desensitized to it, and consequently, female characters being brutalized doesn’t emotionally move us. Either that, or brutality against female characters is highly sexualized, and further dehumanizes them. 

On the other hand, brutality against a male character is unexpected and unusual. Therefore, we are emotionally moved by it and able to recognize it for the tragedy it is. Indeed, this might explain why the “whump community” almost exclusively romanticizes the torture and anguish of male characters, and why so many of its members identify as trans guys. 

Furthermore, have you noticed that most of the tropes this community romanticizes are things that, at least in real life, female people are primarily the victims of? For example: rape, kidnapping, stalking, being drugged, being sold. It almost feels like an attempt to vicariously garner empathy for female suffering, without the element of being another cliché female victim. I feel like they impose female suffering onto male characters because they know the audience actually empathizes for males and views them as full human beings. 

In the end, I think it all comes down to female people’s desire to be fully humanized and to escape gendered stereotyping. For example, you stated that many trans-identified females “want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive.” But why is a soft, sensitive male character so much more charming to them than a soft, sensitive female character? 

Because in their eyes, softness and sensitivity in a male character is seen as authentic; it’s seen as a consequence of his unique personality. But softness and sensitivity in a female character is seen as expected, as stereotypical—it’s seen only a consequence of her gender. This is also why characters who are fathers are adored, while characters who are mothers are overlooked or scrutinized. Because a male character taking care of children is kindhearted, nurturing, selfless, compassionate. But a female character taking care of children is just doing her job.

Basically, I think many trans-identified females would like their softness and sensitivity to be viewed as authentically as we view softness and sensitivity in males. I think many trans-identified females crave for their characteristics to be viewed as consequences of their unique personalities, rather than consequences of their gender. They crave to be seen as human first and female second—not the other way around. 

[loveviktor]

look like we knew arcane is meant to be a tragedy, but damn, we’re really gonna go through it for season two. im just thinking about heimerdinger saying how hextech should not reach the point of being weaponized and now look what’s gonna happen based on the teaser. things are about to get fucked up even more than they already are. anyone new here for arcane expecting some joy at the end of this, you’re in for feeling nothing short of pure devastation that’s gonna leave you empty while feeling fully existential. just letting y’all know.

[fuck-showers-in-general]

d. do you want to tell us about the history of panic at the disco. i feel like you want to do that.

YES I DO (small unreality cw for a few of the jokes i make in this)

so back in like 2005. this emo boy from suburban nevada named ryan ross and his childhood friend slash the only drummer he knew (spencer smith) decided to start a band together called pet salamander. they also got this other guy named brent wilson to play keyboard but brent is a bitch and they kicked him out after the first album so this is the first and last time you will hear me mention him. ryan was singing, playing guitar, and writing music, which was a lot of work for a depressed teenager in his first band ever, so they ended up trying to find someone else to either play guitar or sing, and end up putting out an ad in some newspaper or something. up turns this kid named brendon urie! he can do both. they end up just having him sing though, because ryan still wants to play guitar. it was also some time around this that they realized pet salamander was a stupid ass band name, so they changed it to panic! at the disco. and thus the most band of all time was born.

ryan, pretty much by himself, writes an album called a fever you can't sweat out, which takes heavy inspiration from chuck palahnuik (im totally spelling his name wrong but idc), moulin rouge, and ryan's own childhood living just outside las vegas. it toes the line between pop punk and cabaret goth, or more accurately pirouettes along the tightrope between them. it is a picturesque score of scandals, sins (not tragedies), classic literature, dark circus couture, and a troubled childhood. it still genuinely astounds me that this album was made by a bunch of teenagers. it is an absolute fucking masterpiece. panic! records a few demos, and then gets the bright idea that "hey, ryan's a huge fan of fall out boy, right? that pop punk band from chicago that's really popular right now? like, he's super obsessed with pete wentz's writing. and pete is really active on social media. what if we shot him a few demos?"

and what does peter lewis kingston wentz the motherfucking third, known lacker of common sense, do?

he makes an entire fucking record label just to sign panic!.

ma'am what.

pete decides to start decaydance records, a sublabel of fueled by ramen, and signs a bunch of his friends' bands, along with these random kids from nevada, because he thinks they have potential or whatever. panic! fully records afycso, and releases it on september 27th, 2005. it becomes a smash hit near immediately, and i write sins not tragedies remains to this day a staple of 2000's emo hits. and what, logically, do they do after this? well, first, they go on the nothing rhymes with circus tour, which i would have absolutely killed to get tickets to had i been, like, alive at the time. but after that they, of course, get this guy named jon walker to join the band as a bassist, take the exclamation point out of their name and retreat into the mountains to hotbox a cabin and write a classic rock album. of course. perfectly logical next move. ...look, they swore to shake it up and we swore to listen. this is on us.

some time in mid to late 2006, panic emerges from the mountains with an album called cricket and clover. after recording demos for pretty much the whole album, they realize, oh, we totally cannot release this. so they rework it into an album called pretty. odd., which is an absolute masterpiece. i don't understand why people don't like it. it's so fucking good. if pretty. odd. has 10000 fans i am one of them if pretty. odd. has 10 fans i am one of them if pretty. odd. has 1 fan it is me if pretty. odd. has no fans i am dead. i don't have as much eloquent stuff to say about p.o. as i do with afycso. i just really like it.

[bad wilbur soot impression] it was at this point that brendon decided to become a problem.

so ryan was struggling with a lot of mental health issues right? you would expect your bandmates, especially the one you trusted to sing the lyrics you expressed and processed a lot of those mental health issues with, to not make fun of you for that, right? you would think? brendon did not think. ever. that man has not had a thought in his life and i mean that as an insult. things get so bad eventually that panic splits in half, with ryan and jon splitting off to form a band called the young veins that released one album in 2010 and then broke up, and spencer and brendon being left with the record deal but being explicitly told by ryan to not use the name panic at the disco. which, technically, they didn't. they went back to panic! at the disco. but still. dick move, man.

panic! is still touring pretty. odd. at this point (late 2009), so they need some touring musicians, because they no longer have a bassist or a guitarist. so they hire. i believe ian crawford? but don't quote me on that. as a guitarist, and, more importantly, dallon weekes as a bassist. dallon becomes a full member of the band soon after, because they flat out don't have a bassist anymore, nor a songwriter, but dallon just so happens to have written music for a (very good) band called the brobecks since before panic! at the disco was even a twinkle in poor ryan's eye. justice for ryan ross. but dallon writes an album called vices & virtues, featuring a couple of songs (mostly bonus tracks) from our good friend pwentz, a song brendon wrote about his wife (the worst song on the album honestly), and like half a song left over that ryan wrote when he was still in panic!. which makes vices & virtues the only panic! album that has had every official panic! songwriter on it. four of them. what is wrong with this band. v&v is a fucking amazing album though. i love it so much.

after that, dallon gets to work on panic!'s fourth album, too weird to live, too rare to die!. his original draft is a fucking masterpiece, but unfortunately most of it never sees the light of day (as in, basically nothing minus all the boys, a demo of far too young to die, and the original lyrics to vegas lights) because brendon comes in and ruins the whole thing and turns it into a marketable alt pop album. as he does. justice for dallon weekes. justice for anyone who has ever interacted with brendon ever actually. twtltrtd is still an amazing album, don't get me wrong. just not as good as it would have been without brendon's meddling. i may be a little bitter.

dallon, inevitably, leaves the band, because not only has brendon been fucking up his writing, he's been harassing him, harassing his wife, and on top of it all, paying him so little he had to get a second job to support his family. spencer also leaves, for unclear reasons. so brendon's got three albums left on a record deal for a band that no longer exists. what does he decide to do? pretend the band still exists and is more than just him, of course. this band and its associates have a history of logical decision making and everything they have ever done was a good idea. of course. he releases an album called death of a bachelor in 2016, which was actually pretty good. you will come to see this is a fluke.

two years later, in 2018, brendon! at the disco releases their sixth album, pray for the wicked, which had like four good songs on it total. however, something much more important happened that year. see, something had been happening in the shadows of salt lake city. someone had been plotting. playing shows. a band that didn't exist had been popping up around, with a disturbingly long name. were they here from the past? were they, perhaps, back from the future? we'll never know. all we know is that the band consisted of dallon weekes, a man* who definitely had no connection to panic! at the disco, and ryan seaman, a man who definitely had no connection to falling in reverse. both of whom had dubious connections to the brobecks. and in 2018, they released their first single, a song called modern day cain.

THATS RIGHT THIS POST IS ABOUT I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME NOW BBY

iDKHOW ended up also releasing their first EP in 2018, called 1981 extended play. it is an absolute masterpiece. i did not care that it was 6 songs, i listened to those 6 songs on loop for months on end. they did not release a full album until 2020. so clearly those months turned into years at some point. i lost track. their first album, called RAZZMATAZZ, came out in october of 2020, after making everyone wait way too fucking long for a full album. you may recognize that album name. that is because it's my name. i am way too obsessed with this band. they haven't been around for very long, so they don't have much history for me to infodump yet, but i am very proud to say i was one of their first fans, and i'll be a fan until the day i die.

nowadays, jon's still releasing solo music (also we are tiktok mutuals), ryan is a hermit, dallon was never in panic! at the disco at all why am i mentioning him, and brendon released an album called viva las vengeance that bombed so hard he announced the formal disbandment of panic! at the disco last month. the evil is defeated. thanks for coming to the circus, everyone. you can go home now.

[stormyoceans]

i feel like in bl world it's somehow a no go to talk about why you dislike a show, because people always think it means you hate everyone involved, so it's nice to see that i'm not alone with my feelings about 4m. i was thoroughly disappointed by it and it's even worse considering it's sammon who wrote it. they (ceo and sammon) always went on about how they are working hard on the script and that's why it took 2 years and like... this is what they came up with? i like triage and love mod, but this one doesn't compare at all. the characters were flat and i did not care about them or the relationships at all (i will say, i liked the second couple much more than great and tyme), the mystery was okay i guess, but still lacking anything meaningful and even the chemistry between the actors, not just the pairings, but everyone interacting was so wooden and missing any depth to me. they tried and we know the actors can act, but none of that came across to me. and i 100% agree with you, the ending is so lame, they should have made this a tragedy and not whatever they tried to achieve with the ending they gave us, because that was just laughably bad imo. maybe my expectations were too high because of sammon, but i was just disappointed with this show :(

i honestly understand getting defensive over something you love or even just enjoy, i think that's pretty normal, but i also fully believe it's extremely important to be critical of the media we consume, and unfortunately i feel like over time 'being critical' has started to be equated with 'being hateful' by fandom in general, which couldn't be furthest from the truth: you can love a piece of media AND still be aware of its shortcomings, the two things aren't mutually exclusive. analyzing media and talking about different aspects of it is actually what makes fandom fun to me, so as long as everyone is being respectful im always going to encourage this kind of discussion

ANYWAY. all that aside, i fully understand your disappointment over 4 minutes, anon. it was one of the series i was looking forward to the most this year because both triage and manner of death are two of my favorite BLs, so it's just really weird to me to feel so..underwhelmed by it. i've mentioned this before, but my main issue with the show is that, like you said, i simply do not care about these characters. i wouldn't say they were flat, personally, because there was A LOT of potential that was not used, but it feels like the writing always remained on a very surface level and did not utilize the depth these characters had, and as such it failed to create a connection between them and the viewers (which is also why i think some of the acting may have felt a bit bland)

for example, i think they could have done SO MUCH MORE with the brotherly relationship between tonkladome and korngreat, maybe even by creating some parallels between them. like it's crazy to me that we didn't get a single flashback showing what tonkla and dome's relationship was like (and no, im not counting the one where tonkla killed their dad), or just that we didn't get more of dome's character by himself. 'he was tonkla's brother' is not enough for me to care about him dying or about tonkla's revenge. and now that im typing this out im realizing we never got a confrontation between korn and great about great helping thyme THAT'S INSANE (AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF INSANE). also not a single scene with tonkla and great other than tonkla shooting him!!!!!! all these characters could have been SO INTERESTING if only the narrative would have given them a bit more insight

and this is already so long so im gonna try to wrap it up, but i have to say this because me actually WISHING we would have gotten a sad ending is one for the history books. tbh i think there is a deeper narrative issue when it comes to great and thyme that im not gonna get into because this post will never end otherwise (to sum it up: they weren't treated as main characters), but MY personal issue is that i didn't want an happy ending for them, because at no point in the show i've been rooting for it. like take triage, for example: you start the story almost hating tol, and then time loop after time loop after time loop you see him go through one of the best character development i've ever seen and by the end of the show the viewers are BEGGING for him and tin to be happy and together. i don't wanna say great and thyme didn't deserve that happy ending, but they also didn't really earn it, which is why that perfectly wrapped up sense of peace we got falls completely flat and feels very out of place

idk sammon's concepts are always incredibly fascinating to me and 4 minutes is no exception, but while all the elements of the show had a lot potential, they just did not come together in a satisfying or coherent way, which is really a pity

at this point im looking forward to spare me your mercy even just to see if maybe these issues are more due to boc or to sammon just not being as good as a screenwriter 🤔

[beehiveofblorbos]

happy birthday Kokichi! i took my crack at drawing him XD hopefully ill have done him justice

for what would be his 24th birthday, im gonna take some of my top kokichi quotes and break down why i love them so much and how they illustrate his best character traits and moments. Quotes will be above cut, explanation will be under cut, numbers will line up

1. “It's funny... Is your common sense really so similar to everyone else's common sense? Is what you believe to be right based on your common sense also right for everyone else?” To Kaede, at the end of their second Free Time Event.

2. "As soon as that thought entered your head, Monokuma had you right where he wanted. Because what mattered most to Monokuma is that the killing game started. Regardless of your reasons, the moment you felt the urge to kill, you had already lost. You agreed to be part of this killing game when you allowed murder to fill your heart." To Kaede, at the end of trial 1, after the vote and before the execution.

3. “If you keep saying all this uplifting stuff about working together and cooperating... ...then you can expect to receive some painful retaliation. Get it?" Ch2, during group discussion

4. "But I like playing on Mean difficulty. Also, I don't run from battles in RPGs, either! I wanna win this killing game! So I'm not gonna run from it, I'm gonna crush it! That'll be waaaay less boring, don'tcha think?" Ch2, another group discussion (iirc)

5. “If you’re planning to expose a liar, you have to corner them psychologically… only then will they reveal their true self as a liar, hiding beneath a layer of deceit!” Ch2 and ch4 trial, during the debate

okok honestly originally I was intending to do 24, but I am so tired and also really pushing it on time. I will reblog this later with additions till I get to 24, though, so stay tuned! Hope to finish by end of month

1. As y’all know, I really love Oumatsu whether it be romantic or platonic. They’re both leader figures, both willing to go to morally grey measures, both focused on directly confronting the mastermind and the killing game, both stubborn liars, both self-sacrificing till their self-sacrificial end. Across all my pondering about Kokichi’s plans and plots, I’ve never come to any conclusions suggesting that he’d been planning to take any significant action in ch1. I think that was the closest time he was to “cooperating” with the group. I think he really did want to survive with everyone else, just as she did. He is fully aware that very few to none agree with his common sense. But with his awareness of what other people’s common sense looks like (and the jokes + teasing comments he makes sounding people out)

2. This is the moment I started to sit up and pay attention to Kokichi. Kaede is prone to assumptions and charging ahead with what she thinks is best for the group. Once again, she’s charged ahead on her own, and this time the mistake was fatal. Still, even as he criticizes her (noting that she fell into Monokuma’s trap the minute she decided to kill, and Kaede takes this in stride), he offers her the highest compliment he seems to give (the one he wants to receive as well when his death approaches) - that she wasn’t boring. Not only that, he displays his own insight. Instead of only focusing on the tragedy before him, he looks ahead to the larger picture. He focused on the collective enemy, Monokuma, and how this case impacts the class’s position.

3. Again, he’s looking at the big picture. Up until this point, he tries to make suggestions to the group about how to act. However, this also doubles as a clear warning. He’s learned from paying attention to Monokuma’s actions in ch1, and he learns fast. He takes this killing game so seriously!!!

4. Kokichi is someone who looks for the most complete and thorough victory possible, to ensure he’s fully handled the situation. He also enjoys challenges and games; so of course he’d have fun creating small little rules for himself to keep things interesting. Applying this mindset to the killing game to remain flexible and openminded, while reducing fear, is an admirable moment of self manipulation and encouragement as well. And I’ll talk more about his definition of “winning” later.

5. For one, it’s a bookend quote! He says it both in this trial and the last trial he’s alive during. Secondly, it’s a clever tactic, especially for V3 where frankly? The evidence isn’t always enough to concretely convict a culprit. Kokichi has a fantastic sense for people, and his strategy of sounding someone out by provoking and annoying them repeatedly is really intriguing and endearing to me.

[fivveweeks]

i am so crasy abt ur tweet abt verdante being a tragedy its like in my mind at all times. like ,,, im rotating it in my head, im so ruined, this idea consumes me u do not understand i am opening up google docs and writing a fic im morose im captivated i am making an ao3 account

like ur so right 4 that one banger

KYAAAA ON MY KNEES... i have so much feelings on it u have no idea. twitter doesn't let me go ham but since we are on tumblr let me write a goddamn essay on this

the thing is that yes i enjoy both verdante being a romcom comedy or a tragedy or anything in between. ofc we'd like them to be happy but part of me like to explore what would happen if we really stayed canon-compliant

and like. let's take a look at them both. Vergilius is canonly someone who's weighed down by his past sins (killing and assassinating and orphaning children), who fully well accepts that he deserves the karma that comes for him (like this man literally is expecting it and doesn't fight it), yet he chooses to drag himself forward bc if he doesn't he will sink into despair. he is full of guilt and shame. verg also seems reluctant to form new bonds which is understandable considering that he lost everything prior to limbus, and how he doesn't want to drag people down with his karma, at the same time it would be extremely hard for him to trust people due to the risks of betrayal and manipulation in the city. he KNOWS that kindness and empathy will be consumed by the city if they don't adapt (see leviathan and his thoughts on garnet) therefore anyone would be wary bc there's always a catch. vergilius is also extremely duty bound to restoring garnet and lapis and it weighs down on him a lot

now i dont see Vergilius as oblivious bc the man would obviously recognise signs of attraction from Dante. but vergilius, despite his harsh exterior, is also kind deep down or at least practical, so taking the above into account, in this scenario he would probably outright address it to dante that he has... personal goals. maybe dante will be sacrificed at the end for limbus company as a whole, maybe not, but Verg makes it clear that he WILL choose lapis and garnet over dante bc that is his responsibility. what he owes to them.

executive manager, he doesn't say, do not be a fool.

and to his surprise, dante just nods and writes him, "I'm aware. It's ok, I understand."

bc dante respects him. they respect his space and not push anything at all (alongside how they probably feel that they are not worthy yet, or that they don't want to burden Vergilius, bc c'mon they're stumbling through their responsibilities after losing their memory, work is more important than personal interest now), i also like to think dante isn't say, self-depreciating, but more like they've accepted that they have so much to live up to and Vergilius has something to achieve and they will not stand in his way, so they're content to just spend time with Vergilius as manager and guide.

and there's that. they don't talk about it after the day. nothing changes between them. they continue on as manager and guide.

the only exception is that now Vergilius is aware that Dante fully accepts that he will sacrifice them for his own goals. yet Dante is content to spend time around him and vice versa (he doesn't admit it)

and isn't that the tragedy?

vergilius, to be aware that something could have sparked between the both of you, yet you cannot afford to cross the line due to circumstances. occasionally imagining what it could had been if the both of you were actually allowed to. how should you feel when the other person still seeks you out and befriends you despite knowing that you will never pick them

and dante, getting the confirmation that you will never be picked and will be the third or fourth or whatever choice but that's okay. manager and guide is enough, you WILL enjoy whatever there is between the both of you without asking for more

personally, unrequited love as a tragedy is not effective to me bc it's not that hard to respect another person's feelings and not make yourself the victim.

the REAL tragedy here is being aware of the lost potential and what-could-had-beens, yet IN SPITE OF THAT theres the quiet acceptance and humble enjoyment of whatever there is between the both of them bc that's all they can afford. how fate and the city fucked them both up. yet they stay professional because they respect each other too much (to the point of suppressing their personal feelings for the other) to make this into a hassle

maybe dante dies at the end of limbus and verg would reminisce on what it could had been. maybe verg dies and dante occasionally recalls the little moments they get to spend together. maybe they both die. maybe they both live but they walk a too different path to ever converge again. maybe we slap canon in the face and let them survive or meet up again in the future.

whatever it is, i just really enjoy the sweet sweet pining between the both of them throughout limbus company. the horrors of Knowing. i'm going to bite something

[azumasoroshi]

dude im being 100% fr shizaya fanfic writers were and are fucking insane

because my school banned ao3 (my fault, but that's not important), i saved a bunch of super long shizaya fics (which are PLENTIFUL for some reason, maybe because tastewithouttalent wrote so goddamn many) and have them open to entire work which allows it to stay open on my school devices without being “registered” per say

and they have been like. fucking destroying me

To Hell and Back by corteae started with “izaya and shizuo travel around the world and wacky shenanigans happen” and i was messaging my discord server like “SHIZAYA WORLD TOUR WOOOOOOO” and i was expecting wacky shenanigans and then suddenly everything went off the fucking rails in the way i LEAST expected it to happen

like maybe i wouldn’t have been so blindsided if i hadn’t skimmed through the tags so quickly but like it’s more fun that way. i hate when i actually see a ‘major character death’ tag warning because i want to be surprised

ANYWAY that was genuinely like. one of my favorite fanfiction reading experiences to date. it was like reading a whole novel with how much original stuff was in there but it was so focused on izaya and shizuo and characterized them so unexpectedly well that the original stuff never really felt out of place or forced even though it was so wild

and even though it got super dark at times it maintained this really hopeful outlook on everything and sometimes it was downright cheesy but it just WORKS for that fic and i love it because of that

and some of the challenges it made the characters go through just worked SO well for their canon characters especially post-ketsu and i gasped audibly at some of them and Ahrhghgghhfdgfd

and then the past few days i was reading this zombie apocalypse fanfiction (april 23rd by izayas) and it was like. the most depressing fanfiction reading experiences to date. i literally had a panic attack in school after i read this for a bit too long a session like holy shit it just felt so real and so heavy and hopeless

the writing was phenomenal and well-planned/foreshadowed and probably has the best shizuo AND izaya characterization that i’ve ever seen?? like i could believe things would actually happen in this way in canon. probably because their hate for each other is so intrinsic and they’re never really able to let go of that?? which is not what i expected because yes they bond and yes they care for each other but it was always in a way so that you could feel the wall between them, and even when they connect it’s only briefly, never enough to tear them away from their hatred fully

it almost feels shakespearean in how tragic it is?? everything is so character driven and all their downward spiraling is so poetic and sickening but utterly gorgeous to read. like at so many points you’re like GOD if only they had done this one small thing different, if only if only if only and it’s just htrgrhgfhgd drives me insane which is probably what izayas-san was going for lmao. esoecially at the end you can really feel the shakespeare tragedy kicking in

it’s notable that although it’s tagged shizaya and very much centers around their relationship, it’s much more an exploration of the will of human nature and their individual struggles with coping and growing from their experiences, and there’s like. no typical romance whatsoever

it’s about their sick, twisted, passionate love and whether it’s enough to save either of them or if it’ll kill both of them and just. god. i am empty after that fic i didnt cry but it feels like all the tears have been drained from my body i dont even know how to feel or how to function. i had to take a break from writing this review and it’s been a whole weekend and there’s still this weight on my chest that i cant get rid of :sob: for my sanity’s sake i sincerely doubt i could ever read it again but i honestly treasure that experience

ANYWAY READ SHIZAYA FANFICTION IT’S BUIILT DIFFERENT

[starry-blue-echoes]

Thinking 'bout everyone else's thoughts on Jonathan's situation in Peanut Gallery instead of sleeping-

Joseph was expecting Gramps to be like, this figure he could never live up to, that's kinda how it was for him with all the stories of Jonathan - but instead Jonathan is humble and that kindness hits different first-hand and it's not like it's effortless for him either like the stories would have Joseph believe - and then Jonathan lets down his guard a bit, lets show just how terrified he is of the inevitable approaching death, of how he failed the family, and... Joseph can't help but desperately want to help somehow, even if it's impossible.

Jotaro was angry at first. Didn't quite know how to feel about All This and it translated into anger at Jonathan for failing, for leaving all this to his descendants. And eventually he yells at Jonathan about as much to his face. And Jonathan just takes it. Agrees with him, even. And then he starts to see, the little hints that Jonathan really isn't as okay as he seems, subtle hints that are kind of the same way Jotaro expresses shit, and- But he's doomed. Might as well be dead already. And Jotaro acts like it doesn't bother him.

Josuke isn't as drawn into all this drama at first, Jonathan's just fun to be around and a total sweetheart, nice, cool. No complicated feelings. But towards the end he gets a glimpse of just how much is hiding under that Perfect Gentleman act, how hard Jonathan is trying to help all the others, and the 'im the healer I'm responsible for everyone's wellbeing' thing kicks in. But it's too late. Just like it was for his own grandpa.

Giorno, hoo boy. He's so happy to know he has a father who loves him unconditionally, who would've done anything to be with him and help and take care of him, and a bit bitterly resigned to Jonathan's death- of course the only positive parental figure he could've hoped for was dead a century ago, unsavable even now. But he recognizes how complicated this must be on Jonathan's end and keeps his distance as so not to be a bother, and Jonathan assumes Gio doesn't want to deal with him and so keeps HIS distance, till close to the end, when Jonathan decides he has to at least get closure with his son before going to his inevitable death. And he tells Giorno how much he loves him just for being his son, how proud he is, how much he wishes he could've been there, everything Giorno desperately wanted to hear, but they both know it won't, can't, amount to anything, that Jonathan won't get the chance to act on his promises and love.

Jolyne's probably the most removed from the whole Situation. It's a tragedy, but one she's less involved in than the rest. She's not there during Stone Ocean with the peanut gallery when the fact that /he's going to die and SOON/ really starts to fully sink in for Jonathan, generations removed from him in the bloodline. But he was still kind, and caring, and apologized profusely for leaving so much of the fight left for her, and even if she was entirely unconnected to him she'd want better for him.

And in the end, in the new timeline, in the vague part 6 time period, the entire family gets to be there and together with full memories of the time traveling peanut gallery adventure -

All 5 of them.

All of them except Jonathan.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Oh I love all this so much

Joseph's heard so much about his grandfather. How he was kind and brave and sweet and strong and so many things that built him up as this paragon of a human being. Erina and Speedwagon made sure Joseph knew all about the things Jonathan did, and upon meeting him, while it becomes very obvious they weren't exaggerating in the slightest....... watching Jonathan fight Dio and meeting him in person also makes it clear he's just that. A person. Just like his granny and uncle, Jonathan can hurt and make mistakes and be scared. He was just a good person thrown into awful situations and decided to stay kind despite everything being thrown at him

Jotaro....... with him it's more complicated. Going in to Jonathan's journey knowing he wouldn't win....... it sucked. Knowing that his story wasn't a happy one, knowing that no matter what happened he was doomed to fail, knowing that because of Dio's fuckery he never got his happily ever after was eating him up. Dio's the source of almost all his anger, at how many lives this bastard has destroyed just because he wasn't satisfied with what he gained and wanted more. Unfortunately for Jotaro and everyone in the general vicinity, there isn't a whole lot Jotaro can do to deal with this anger and he accidentally ends up lashing out at Jonathan a few times during the Battle Tendency portion of everything.

Emotions are running high, everyone's still a bit shaken from Jonathan's death, Jotaro's stressing out about his turn being next, and it just. Doesn't go well for anyone. He does chill out a solid amount after Stardust, and Jonathan and Joseph are able to help him work through the grief of losing a close friend. He does apologize, and slowly starts trying to help Jonathan stop blaming himself for everything that went down

Josuke and Jolyne are definitely the most disconnected from all the Jonathan Drama. Sure they're worried about him because they're Good People Who Care, but it doesn't go much deeper than a family bond. Josuke had essentially zero ties with Dio specifically, and Jolyne doesn't blame Jonathan in the slightest for anything he "indirectly" caused. They want Jonathan to be happy and don't really understand the drama, but they do their best to mediate and help out the others when they need it

but then on the COMPLETE other end of the spectrum we have Giorno and ho fucking boy are things complicated here :)

Jonathan is both absolutely overjoyed and absolutely heartbroken that Giorno is his son. On one hand, why wouldn't he be happy? This boy is his son, and he is going to love him regardless of everything. But on the other, the crushing knowledge that his time with Giorno is so very limited and the fears that the boy might not even reciprocate this love. This is of course very not true, Giorno is 110% up for bonding with Jonathan but he's also dealing with the complications that came with his...... conception. How he isn't really Jonathan's kid, that he's Dio's instead and Dio was the one who made the choice to be with his mother, etc, etc

speaking off....... the Dio realization isn't going to be fun for ANYONE. No one blames Giorno of course, but it shakes everyone up, Giorno the most. After all, he's seen the horrors this man has done to innocent people, to his family. How his influence spread long after his death and continued to hurt and kill people for literal generations

Of course, there is some confusion from everyone for a bit because "wait, how does Giorno have the Joestar birthmark then???"....... except for Jotaro. He knows Dio stole Jonathan's body, but isn't quite sure how to bring it up since....... yeah

but eventually, probably with some nudging from everyone else, Jonathan and Giorno start to interact more. They talk, about their lives, what they like, about each other, and slowly begin to truly bond. The others do what they can to let the two spend the most time possible together so they can just....... enjoy it

when Giorno remembers, the first thing he does is change his name from Giorno Kujo to Giorno Joestar and visit his father's grave

[transmasc-wizard]

im thinking about getting into the magnus archives, so i was wondering if you could give like. idk what i should expect from it/a synopsis? /not forced

i am ltierally ALWAYS willing to talk about the magnus archiges

SO

the magnus archives is a fiction horror podcast written by jonny sims, about the Archivist, jonathan sims. no they are not supposed to be the same person, jonny is just shit at character naming. there's like 4 michaels alone (michael shelley / michael distortion / mikaele / mike). btw if i say "jonny" i am refering to the writer, if i say jon/jonathan i am refering to the character

so, Jon works for the Magnus Institute, London, an institution dedicated to documenting and investigating paranormal experiences. he used to work in the research department, but after the passing of the former Head Archivist (Gertrude), he found himself suddenly promoted to the archivist job. Now, he reads people's written "statements" (supernatural) so they have audio versions.

each episode contains one statement + jon's thoughts on it at the end. in this way, it is an anthology horror series; each episode has a sort of "monster of the week" that is its own disconnected and fully-fledged horror story. BUT!!! BUT!!! it is,,, connected. there is a Grander Plot. as it goes on, connections start to be made between the statements, with several developing plotlines and b-plots, and supernatural happenings even start to go on in the institute itself. it is REALLY thought out; my relisten has me finding tiny connected details in almost every episode.

TMA has to be listened to in order, from episode 1-200; i say that because i was told it doesn't and almost started with ep 187 (every day i mentally thank the person who told me NO NO START WITH #1 AND GO IN ORDER. every day). additionally, each episode, or "MAG", is about 20 minutes long, and TMA is split into five 40-episode seasons.

some various stuff: it's queer! jon is ace & bi and its not a big deal bc, you know, he's busy with The Horrors. several other characters are queer as well. speaking of characters, they're great; you get quite attached to both the main ones (Jon, Martin, Tim, Melanie, etc) and several side ones (Sasha, Gerry, Michael, Helen, etc).

a note: the TMA creators care a lot about being respectful to marginalized groups and when handling careful topics, but they fucked up sometimes. in particular, early "spiral statements" (stories abt lies, confusion, and the human mind) sometimes lean into the "ooh scary hallucinations" thing in season 1. as it goes on, it does get better (changing the focus to things such as "it's horrifying not to be believed about your struggle with mental illness"), but it is worth warning about, imo. (There's about... 2? i can think of? that specifically give me pause.)

a second note: TMA is very much horror, if it wasn't already obvious. It deals with things like cannibalism, insect infestation, heavy isolation, skinning, body horror, police brutality, spiders, paranoia, being watched/spied on/Known, etc. It is also a tragedy. With those two things in mind, please remember to take care of yourself, first and foremost, and take breaks/stop if you need to.

third bonus note: my pfp is gerry keay from tma and im love him <3 that is all

tma is really really really good, surprisingly emotional, full of creative horror and compelling stories, and has some AWESOME themes and storylines centering around monstrocity, what it means to be human, abuse of power, and what you can do in a system that fundamentally just wants to hurt you, and i 100% recommend it if you want to try it out!!

the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/Content_Warnings <- trigger & content warnings, broken up per episode

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #1 - Anglerfish - Horror Fiction Podcast - YouTube <- episode one!

have fun & stay spoooooooky :D

[ilynpilled]

idk if my ask got swallowed by beast that is tumblr or you ignored it so i'll just ask again: do you think ser waymar royce in the prologue is a jaime parallel? he's a commander, young and handsome, cocky and snarky, and a son to a lord, who takes a final stand against the dark and dies bravely fighting an Other with no one else but the reader knowing of his deed.

nah imo. these parallels are pretty surface level. as for the these themes present in the prologue it is not exclusive to a single pov (especially would not say jaime) like this it just permeates the series as a whole. im going from memory here but waymar royce’s whole deal to me is mostly about class/feudalism/meritocracy (more like the lack of), westerosi primogeniture, and the tragedy of young men trying to put meaning to their existence in ‘war’ when there is no place else for them, see the NW also functioning as a place to shove the many knights, lords, criminals, smallfolk etc. with no land/income/resources because nothing is distributed in a sensible way in this feudal society. courage/cowardice/gallantry is significant in the chapter too (what is brave? what is practical? what is selfish and egodriven? is dying for nothing but some personal triumph of overcoming fear like this anything but tragic? is the inherent meaning within that action enough? is it more admirable to try to live to tell the significant tale which would actually save lives? and so on)

these themes r not exclusive to jaime (he likely was not even fully realized as a character by this point anyway), and i dont even think he deals with them in the same way. i do like the idea of jaime’s heroism not being known in whatever form that takes when it concerns endgame because it is poignant with him and his story, and if you want jaime’s story to end thematically on true bravery (i pretty much want the same) then for him imo it wouldnt really be about some gallant fight and ‘dignity’ in the face of death. like even if he falls against the others, at a deeper level it wouldnt really be about that. the text frames bravery as something that can only exist when one is afraid. jaime doesnt fear death. it is reinforced by his actions as well as two clear and sincere statements. especially death in battle. jaime does not want to live that bad, he is consumed by despair enough to not fear losing his life. jaime repeatedly being referred to as courageous by other characters is therefore deconstructed (gets overt especially when he is called craven by brienne during a very important scene), because he isn’t truly brave yet. jaime is afraid to “live.” more specifically standing up and facing despair and the horrors and contradictions of the world. that is what he keeps running away from, and why he stagnated so hard post aerys. he is terrified in the dream. and he is not terrified of powerful figures coming at him with swords, but them coming at him with contradicting oaths, his guilt, and complex truths. he is scared of loss and abandonment. his own darkness. and it is that terror of his light going out when confronted with these things and that truly leaving him in darkness that really scares him. that would mean all purpose being destroyed, and existence being rendered meaningless. “why would the stars want to look down on such as me?” is emblematic of that feeling. it would be the final push into complete nihilism. “choices”, the thesis of his arc, becoming meaningless. this is a big part of him never confessing the aerys situation, because if the result of the confession is like the one in the dream, then that is what will happen. it is deeper than ned, u see him expecting him to come out, but it is not him “it was never him.”everything would become meaningless if that choice of his, in its full context, would be rejected by his ‘heroes’. the whole thing is symbolic of an idealist burning out with his “flame” literally being withered by the complicated reality of what feels like a fundamentally unjust world.

which is why it is so meaningful that he jumps into the pit willingly and kills the beast. it mirrors the abyss that he is shoved into screaming in the dream. if you are not in the pit, you will never confront what you fear most. accepting the horrors of the world and and refusing to fight it under the guise of cynicism and nihilism is cowardice on his part. if you dare to have hope be reignited, it might result in the flame dying out for eternity. and there is no greater risk than that. that is what reconstructing “the brave knight” is about. this is also why he is only really afraid, and tyrion (who says he has never seen jaime afraid like this when talking about the similarities between his and joffrey’s eyes during the latter’s death, as well as repeatedly noting jaime’s bravery) notices it and is taken off guard by it, when he is confessing the tysha situation. imo, him being truly brave is confronting truth, confronting the darkness, and being brave enough to not let the light go out, just like the example brienne shows, and allowing hope to exist. allowing yourself to still care despite the horrors that rendered you so cynical. not letting that flame be withered and destroyed by them (is that flame your humanity, hope, or whatever else of the sort? i think the symbolism is ambiguous enough to allow and encourage interpretation, but i read it as deeper than just literal ‘life’. it is purpose to existence) as far as dying is concerned, i dont really care atp. it is kinda open still with cersei saying “you will die when the flames die” and brienne’s still burns, so there is light in “his darkness.” but i can see his arc potentially building up to some kind of tragedy/death. i just hope to see him believe in and understand true heroism by the end of his story, and know that his choices hold meaning despite the contradictions and that the horrors can and should be fought, no matter the cost, personal pride and fear and despair be damned. no more going away inside.

feast makes it clear that the vows cannot compromise, so it is time to choose. brienne is the key representation of that for him. and there is a reason her sword keeps burning. there is a reason he dreamed of her. a reason he dares to dream again. there is a reason he comes back.

and i think all that can still exist in a ‘tragic’ or a bittersweet ending.

[orionsangel86]

Sigh. You know what sucks? Realising that a story I love and a world I've been escaping to for a while isn't meant for me.

I get the whole literary analysis and I am fully aware of the point of these stories and I don't mean to criticise the source material but at the end of the day even setting myself up for a tragic end I wasnt expecting SUCH a tragic end in a way that recolours the entire story to that point and I guess I am just not cut out for that type of tragedy nowadays. Perhaps when I was younger, when the real world seemed a bit happier and I wasnt dealing with depression and all that shit I could have handled a good tragedy just fine. But nowadays nope.

You've got this beautful magical world which seems totally perfect to escape to, and even though its dark there, and filled with quite horrific things, its still better than reality right? Because it still has the magic, and the supernatural, and the possibilities of that world are basically endless.

And I dont think that I or any other fan of that world are wrong or stupid for feeling cut out just because we can't deal with the tragedy of it, and yet thats how I feel suddenly.

Anyway. Best step away and leave it for the people who like tragedies. Who enjoy watching their fave characters struggle and hurt and eventually give up and kill themselves. Sorry that aint me. Im not a bad fan im just dealing with a different mix of emotions than you.

I really liked this world and this story, but I think I need to put it aside and find something else, something happier. Something more suited to me.

[the-night-puncher]

2 - Cemetery boys

Amazon recommended me this book while i was buying something else and the cover looked cool so here we are months after buying it i finally read it.

First things first i read the br translation and not only did they keep the use of neutral language in the book (bruxe) but also made a point of having all the team involved be queer wich is very nice and always appreciated.

The story was fine, i guessed who was the bad guy and what he was doing from the moment he was introduced and even how the story would end with Julian the dead boy being either ressurected or not being actually dead(turns out it was both) and the solving the crime part of the book was not very explored but the real focus of the book are Yadriel's attempt to be accepted as a man and a bruxo and his relationship with Julian and those are actually very well written.

Yadriel and Julian's relationship and growing romance was very sweet, every moment they spent together is gold. Julian's impulsiveness is a perfect balance for Yadriel's overthinking and they bring out the best out of each other, honestly the scenes in his bedroom where they were listening to music together and being gay were everything. I also was very glad that outside of misgendering Yadriel when they first met there was no conflict in the romance regarding his transness.

Not sure why but i was surprised both of them were already out, i feel like in these ya romances usually at least one of them is either in the closet or unaware of their queerness and i fully expected that to be Julian. Instead he is not only agressively out but has a queer found family of his own (do wish we had spent more time with them cause they were great).

Yadriel's relationship with his family and his desperation to be seen by them was something i didnt get at first, but seeing them interacting i got why that mattered to him and seeing that big connected community i really wanted him to be a part of that as well. And im so glad he not only gets that but his father apologizes and accepts him BEFORE he saves everyone and does some impossible bruxo shit no one has done in centurys, his family loves him for who he is and not just because he is the big damn hero.

Yadriel confronting his uncle in the end was kinda bad, it was way too obvious to work as a reveal and i just didnt care about the guy like stab him and move on... that said once he died it gets incredible and i legit got emotional when Julian came back to life only to see Yadriel dying for him(shoutout to Maritza for bringing him back and also for deciding that using animal blood for healing is terrible but human blood is more than ok i stan) and the moment where Julian is freaking out being protective over him to the point of almost fighting his dad was honestly my favorite part in the whole book.

Like i said i figured it would end with Julian being ressurrected early on and i was honestly kinda disappointed, like its a love story with a ghost its a tragic romance with no happy ending waiting to happen. But actually when we got there i was so happy and just seeing Yadriel get to introduce Julian to his mother and have him shouting and cheering for him cured my depression. Fuck tragedy.

[yournightowl]

Your Nightowl #027

i’ve noticed that the discussion around HK has splintered into three distinct groups.

The first group is the Detectives ಠ_ರೃ- the true crimers, the inquisitive types, the ones looking for a good mystery above all else, even to the point that they’ll ignore the plain answer just to keep the thread spinning a little while longer. It should go without saying that this group is the biggest and the easiest to empathize with. You might need to learn to excuse a little bit of insensitivity here or there, but you can hold real conversations with them and get real responses. i do, however, think that there’s more bleedover between them and the next group than most people would like to admit.

Said group (the loudest group) would be the Theorists. The ones convinced that all of HK’s targets were actually androids, or the incognito operators of cell corporations, or just plain old lizard people. ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ Sure. Why not?

 For a big portion of them, this is all just trolling. That’s obnoxious, but whatever- Everyone’s done it, here or there. If you get recognized, you were just being ironic. If you get cornered, it's their fault for taking you seriously. ¯\_( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ We all know the drill by this point.

Well maybe we don’t all know the drill. Every other day I see people in the media monologuing about how taken aback they are by the swell of conspiracy theories surrounding HK- Like they expected us to have left such childish things behind in the 20th century.

We didn’t. From what i’ve seen with my own eyes, out there in the real world, and back here on the oldnet, it’s only gotten worse. We’re still children.

Which isn’t necessarily a grim thought. I mean, if this is what humanity looks like when we’re fully formed, crystallized, and paying our taxes without our parent’s help? We’re screwed.

One last thing about the conspiracy theorists- their the only ones making money off of this tragedy. It’s not much, of course- Just whatever small profit they can eke out by spending all day on socials, parroting each other's talking points in an accelerating feedback loop that spirals directly to their store page, where you can buy coffee mugs that show how you think the state has secret death camps.

But its still dirty money if you ask me.

Which brings me to the last group: the nutjobs. ( °□°) ︵ ┻━┻

Maybe that’s too harsh. The Crazies?

Freaks is too sharp on the tongue.

But this is the written word, so maybe it’s forgivable.

Whatever you want to call them, they all sound similar.

“Dear hk, please unalive my boss”

“/srs hk should merc my stepdad”

“I want hk to shoot me before i start my next shift and im not even joking at this point”

Obviously, most of these are just people venting, which will always be ugly to see, and hard to read. It’s still in poor taste, but it’s definitely better for them to type it out into the void than to walk around with thoughts like that festering in the back of their mind. “ψ (｀∇´) ψ

But they aren’t all just people venting. Some amount of them aren’t being ironic. Some amount of them like what HK’s doing. They like seeing wrenches thrown in the works, even if the wrenches happen to be innocent people with bullets where their aorta’s used to be. And while this third group is definitely the smallest, it’s also the most naturally private.

I’m not worried that they’re some kind of silent majority or anything, it’s just

They’re silent.

So there could be a shitload of them out there, and even they wouldn’t know it. There could be thousands of HK fanboys out there waiting for a leader to step forward.

Step forward and funnel their frustration into coffee mugs, ʘ‿ʘ hopefully.

Cause otherwise, they might get tired of waiting for a leader.

And they just might get started without one.

To avoid ending on a grim note again, i’d like to instead insert here, in no particular order, my favorite theories about HK is, taken from the most disliked posts on the biggest conspiracy forum i could find.

-hk is an AI possessing random individuals through their Mods

-hk is an assassin working for the Elites to eliminate people found to have high genetic predisposition to resisting authority figures

-hk is a team of State Operatives culling the illegitimate children of powerful CEOs in order to keep them in check (how would this work?)

-hk is an angel of death but not like a grim reaper the beautiful kind biblically accurate

-hk is my cleaning guy who is secretly a robot (that was the entire thread)

International blogger of mystery,

Your nightowl

[aro-with-bad-aim]

Anna karenina part 7:

tw: suicide, death, mental health

Holy shit Anna just killed herself. This part was emotional throughout, and I’m both shocked and not surprised. This part showed the deterioration of Anna’s mental health, as her insecurities and emotions consumed her. Her fears of not being loved led her to spite vronsky, and saw death as the only way for him to love her. Her final thoughts as she expressed her distain towards the world hit hard, and was incredibly well written. I’m honestly having a hard time articulating how I feel about this, I’m feeling so much about what just happened. I’m kind of laughing at my past self for thinking this book wasn’t that bad. This is what I was waiting for, I came in expecting heavy hitting emotions and tragedy and that’s exactly what I got. The way the train journey was written really helped see into her head and her thoughts, and really made it feel like the world was as awful as she saw it as. She considered suicide multiple times throughout this part, first as a passing thought that she got herself out of. She then tried to overdose, and found a desire to live. She finally ended it all by throwing herself under a train, dying the same way the man did at the start of the book did. The man who vronsky took pity on and helped his family. She wanted to live before she died, the only times she found a live for life in this part was her moments before death. Her desire to be loved led to her tragic death, it was her harmatia. It’s also an example of a literary theory Ive recently become interested in called Chekhov’s gun: if a gun is loaded in the first act, it must be fired by the third act (im paraphrasing). I found the man’s death at the start to be random, I even think I mentioned how out of the blue it was when I talked about it, but it set up/ foreshadowed Anna’s death in such a way I’ve never read/ seen before. I could go on and on about this part, it’s one of the best written and the most impactful in my opinion. I also wanna talk about how kitty nearly died. That shocked me. I was so relieved when she survived, she’s one of my favourite characters to be honest. It was such an emotional scene, levins reactions and thoughts really developed his character and created a really tense scene. It felt like I was feeling every emotion with him. It was interesting and heartbreaking to see a character as rational and stable as him break down into fear, as a lot of us would with the risk of loosing a loved one. I honestly don’t have much more to say about this at the moment, I wanna go over the book as a whole when I fully finish after I write about part 8 by itself, so I’ll probably go more in-depth once I’ve had more time to process it and think about it. I literally write these as soon as I finish a part so I don’t forget anything, so often it’s my first reaction to a lot of the later events in each part. Thank you to everyone whose actually read this, I’ve only got one part left and I’m honestly really excited to finish. I’ve loved reading this book, but it feels like the story is naturally ending and I can’t wait to see how it does:)