#im giving them more and if they do half then its already twice as much work then they give

[diobrando]

My colleague came in again with "support" for classroom management but also threatened me in a weird underhanded way and it was so fucking annoying

[withlove-xixi]

hi xixi!! could you write a fic where a normally teasing/silly reader actually gives chilchuck serious compliments and tells him how much they admire him? preferably gn/male reader but i’m not picky (*´꒳`*)

- bard anon

— FROM THE HEART: chilchuck x reader

ᥫ cw: chilchuck is a bit mean, but what's new? ᥫ wc: 946 ★ hello again my dear bard ano-non~! i did something short and sweet teehee :3! wanted to do smth that was chil focused, like w his perspective and him slowly warming up to things and stuff! tho ... idt its how u might've pictured this request to be im sorry but i hope you enjoy ٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶ cross posted on ao3

— CHILCHUCK’S A BIT TOO SERIOUS SOMETIMES.

[♡]: he saves no time for dillying or dallying, he focuses on what’s important. it was a trait his employers admired him for. sure, it makes him seem more standoffish than he’d like to be, but hey, whatever gets the job done, right? wrong! because as much as he’s planned on keeping his coworkers at simply an arms reach, it seems as if he’s pushed them a bit further than anticipated.

CHILCHUCK ALWAYS SAW YOU AS IMMATURE, how couldn’t he when you could just be so childish sometimes? It’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy your company or admire your skills, but gods, you were just a bit… annoying sometimes. Chilchuck was never a patient man, but with you? It was as if you found new ways to toy with him, to drag him around like a ragdoll in a dog’s mouth. It was aggravating for one, he was a grown man, he deserves to be treated like one. It pissed him off how you’d tease him like you were school kids, how you could just be a bit too carefree at times, especially during work hours.

Now was no different as he pressed his fingers against both temples, rubbing circles on them as you conspicuously watched him work, no doubt wearing that stupid grin on your face. Normally, Chilchuck already hated it when people watched him work, it simply bugged him. He felt cramped, suffocated. Plus there was always the threat of them undermining his abilities as a locksmith, that hurt is pride more than anything. With you, he disliked it twice as much, finding there to be so much pressure with expectant eyes so intently studying the way his fingers moved.

Now was no different.

Chilchuck heaved a heavy sigh, without turning back, called out to you: “you gonna keep staring?” He said it so plainly, though you could tell his eye would twitch in frustration, as it usually did when you pushed the poor half-foot to his limits.

“I just like watching you work, Chil,” you softly said, smiling slightly. You rested your chin on your palm, squatting a bit closer behind him.

Chilchuck sighed again. You could tell he rolled his eyes with the way he shook his head.

Again, it wasn’t that Chilchuck didn’t enjoy your company. In fact it was something he looked forward to, after work hours of course. Post-dungeon crawl drinks at the bar were the carrot at the end of a stick for Chilchuck, and he enjoyed them even more when you were around. You had this way of lightening the mood, easing the tension. Could he truly be blamed if you were simply so nice to be around? But of course, work was different. Chilchuck was different when it came to work. It was something he was certain you noticed, something you’ve learned about him. The change in his demeanor, how he began to smile less, how his eyebrows knit more. It was like Chilchuck had an on and off switch, knowing the right time and place to wise up and when to just relax. And Chilchuck was certain you’d pick up on that, that it would be another thing you learn about him. He’s proven wrong, of course, with the way you leaned forward to get a better view of the lock he’s picking.

He’s about to open his mouth to scold you for doing so, to snap at you to back off and give him some room to breathe or something along those lines. But you beat him to it, cutting through the silence by letting out a soft giggle.

“You’re really cool, you know?”

Five words and he feels his breath falter.

Anybody else, he might’ve lashed out, called them out for patronizing him or looking down on him or teasing him. And honestly, Chilchuck half-expected him to do the same to you. He had fallen victim to your antics far too many times before, a half-hearted, playful quip would’ve been almost natural for him to hear from you.

Except deep down inside him, he knows it isn’t half-hearted, it isn’t playful. He hears it in the way you said it (perhaps his keen sense of hearing helps him pick up on it more). There’s something he’s not entirely used to hearing in your tone, that being pure, genuine admiration. It was the sappy kind he used to get when his daughters would watch him work or cook dinner, the one that was just so awestricken it was almost pure, innocent. And you had said it so casually too, like you were just stating facts and not shattering his world right now, chipping away at the walls he didn’t intend to build so high.

Chilchuck's heart felt a pang of guilt that for even a second he might've thought you were teasing him, because he knew that had you both been in the bar, two or three drinks down, faces flushed, smiles bright, he wouldn't have second-guessed your compliment. He would've smiled a bit wider and blushed a bit more, shoot back some weak response on how you're just joking because he knows you're being serious.

He felt just a bit more guilty when he turned back to meet your face, a gentle smile gracing your lips, staring at him like he had just constructed cathedrals, that he had done something greater than picking a simple lock. It fills Chilchuck with unbelievable warmth and it allows him to entertain the idea that perhaps he's come to be a bit too harsh, a bit too distant.

"Thanks," he says quietly, his eyes quickly averting yours.

He hears you giggle again, louder this time. "Such a cutie." He hears you say with a soft sigh right after. Chilchuck hid his face in his neck warmer, humming in response, afraid trusting his voice would expose how flustered he’s become. He turned back to his work, a small loving smile resting on his face. Perhaps it was time for Chilchuck to take things easy and start to be a bit less serious. Especially when it comes to you.

[leclerced]

Its half past 4 am and i need to go to bed too but I’ll squeeze out a final brainrot for us to sleep to

A driver on the way to winning wdc, a ROOKIE no less and after actually winning you get absolutely HATE fucked by max. Thats all i really want in life. Imagine the sexual tension all throughout the season mixed with immense hatred and hes just kidnapping you back to the hotel and letting out all the anger and frustration towards you that build up over the year until you’re completely fucked out and unable to walk for the week. Im talking CRYING from overstimulation here.

That championship may not be his but that pussy sure is now.

🫀

oh my goood. i want her to he a redbull driver bc imagine the drama of them getting a fourth driver’s title in a row like seb did but it’s a rookie instead of max?? the drama. sorry i rambled for like an hr. oopsies i meant to be quick.

can so imagine she’s not expecting to win any races on her debut season but wins on debut and everyone is shocked when she overtakes max and the team allows it, knows they’ll still get the one two finish plus they’ll get the amazing publicity of another first time redbull driver winning on debut, making history as the first female driver winning on debut.

max is furious about it. they're not given team orders which makes it so much worse, she genuinely overtakes him and they warned him she'd be making a move on him but he didn't expect her to successfully pass him or to maintain the lead and fend him off for the rest of the race. he’s not a baby who would demand team orders in his favor, especially when he knows they wouldn’t listen because they want her to win. he’s angry they want her to win. he’s angry he wants her to win and make history like he did. he hates that he was so enthusiastic about having a rookie as a teammate, thinking he’d get to show someone the ropes and all that. but she’s beating him on debut?

it gets better with the next race because he wins and she comes in third, and he feels like everything is falling into place again. until the next race when she gets pole and wins from it, leading every lap with him stuck in third behind charles, a switch-up on the previous weeks podium lineup. it continues like that with them nearly taking each other out a few times fighting for the lead, but somehow they don’t crash out throughout the season.

i can so see them taunting each other behind closed doors, where media won't catch it. also them getting drunk and flirty and pretending it didn't happen the next day. and i can see her being happy no matter what because she's doing so well on her debut season but max is only happy and nice when he wins a race and is leading the championship, so on the nights he wins, they somehow end up together in the back of the vip area of some club, both internally debating if fucking your teammates a good idea.

she wins by a handful of points, only three, and when she’s on the first place podium she shoves that number in his face as she sprays her champagne down on him. he wants to bend her over the podium and make her swallow down his cock instead of the champagne she gulps down. he pushes the thought from his mind when she’s wiping it from her jaw as it drips down her neck and soaks her suit more than charles’s spray already had.

he doesn’t even plan on acting on his pent up fantasies until he bumps into her and charles on his way out and she has the audacity to congratulate him on second in the championship, as if he wasn’t less than half a second away from behind first. as if she wasn’t first. he’s grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from charles, ignoring her questions of where they’re going. she only asks twice before she falls into step next to him, her footsteps faster than his to keep up with his longer stride. she’s got her trophy, the first place race trophy in her hands and he wants to smash it thinking about how he’s going to have to give her his driver’s championship trophy. how they’re going to engrave her name and break the streak of max verstappen signatures crawling up the trophy.

she realizes what’s happening when they get in the car and he puts his hand on her knee once they’re driving then asks if it’s okay and she’s like, “are you asking if it’s okay to touch me or to kidnap me?” and he insists he’s not kidnapping her and she recounts how he grabbed her, led her to his car, opened the passenger door and pushed her inside. he blushes and apologizes, his hand still on her knee and she tells him it’s okay. they get to the hotel and she follows him to his room and neither of them speak until they’re inside and he’d tell her to say red if he needs to stop, and she asks why he would need to stop and he’s like, “well i don’t plan on stopping until you tell me to. so say red when you need me to stop.”

once she agrees he’s kissing her like she’s never been kissed and pushing her against the wall, his hand squeezing her throat and his knee pushing between her thighs. he holds her there until she’s turning away from the kiss for air, and then he steps back and tells her to strip and get on the bed. she’d stare at him for a moment and he grabs her and pushes her towards the bed and snaps at her to get on it. she strips to her underwear and starts getting on the bed and he’d tell her he didn’t say to leave them on and she turns back to him, fully dressed, and tells him to undress too. he tells her he doesn’t need to yet, and she doesn’t get why until she’s almost screaming from her third orgasm back to back. two from his fingers and one from his mouth, and he's still going. hands curled around her thighs to hold her in place.

she's crying and begging him to fuck her, and he's moaning into her pussy that she tastes so good he doesn't want to stop tasting her yet. she loses count on how many orgasm she's had before he's done eating her out, she can't tap out before they've even fucked, but she's so sensitive his tongue lapping on her clit hurts.

when he finally gives in and lines up with her entrance the stretch of his cock in her sensitive cunt nearly makes her black out. he barely lets her adjust before he's fucking her like he won tonight, telling her she looks so pretty when she cries and how good she feels around him. asking her who's making her feel this good and stopping until she begs him to keep going and answers his question. he'd tease her between kisses and hickeys he leaves on her now that she's too fucked out to object, hopes they won't be able to find makeup good enough to cover the bruises he leaves on her throat.

he keeps pulling back from kisses and spitting on his dick fucking in and out of her, saying things she can't understand in dutch, or maybe it's english and she's too fucked out to make sense of his rambling. he'd grasp her jaw when she opens it in a loud moan and hold it open before spitting in it. he'd taunt her with all the passive aggressive remarks she made during the season and when she just moans in response he’d make fun of her for being too fucked out to respond.

and then they don’t see each other over break except for work stuff and nothing happens, she gets her trophy and the exchange goes normally. and then she wins the first race of the season and she gets a repeat of the last race of the last season. after that no matter who finishes the end up in bed together, if she wins he’s angry and takes his frustration out on her, but if he wins they just go at it like rabbits and right for dominance, he’s more playful and less commanding. he’d let her suck his cock for an hour while he tells her how good she’s making him feel, telling her that this is what he deserves; a race win and a cock drunk whore on her knees choking on his cock.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Seeing Kinger stuff is so nice gosh! Would it be cool to get the rest of the fluff alphabet with him please? Or if that's too much the ones you'd like to write about most

Kinger fluff alphabet! the whole thing!

two things one is more so one of my personal woe things unrelated to you but i deleted my masterlist immediately after finishing it because i didnt like the layout of it; 3 hours down the drain SOBS other thing! imma go ahead and link the other fluff alphabet stuff so its a complete list! actually third surprise thing, WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME I ACCIDENTALLY FORGOT TO PUT P IN THE FLUFF ALPHABET/lh/nm i fixed it now but i cant believe i skipped a letter i feel so dumb

ABSTRACT- if you were to ever abstract he would probably abstract himself. i mean if the things about queener/queenie are true and they were close, then that would mean this guy would lose a loved one TWICE. that would most definitely break someone, and kinger is already on the edge as it is. if he somehow doesnt abstract, he probably becomes even more paranoid; kind of shutting everyone out almost because he sure as hell knows he cant take a third heartbreak. rarely ever leaves his pillow fort, unless hes physically dragged out? sometimes he forgets you're gone, because he just refuses to believe the truth. sad stuff

BONDING- will rattle on and on about cool bug facts, if he has his own collection in his room he will show you it! maybe, if you want, he will let you hold some of the critters! tells a lot of stories, nicer ones from when things in the circus arent so... bad.. usually when hes in a good headspace! you get the feeling he embellishes his stories... not too different from a grandfather trying to make his experiences seem more glamorous and action packed than they really were

CUDDLING- he is very hard, due to him being a chess piece, but his clothes do a really good job at softening him! no arms :(... usually rests his hands on your back, or maybe has one on your shoulder and the other on your hip. switches between being big and little spoon, sometimes he wants to hold and sometimes he wants to be held

DATES- you can find them here!

EMOTION- kinger is... odd... im not sure where he lies, because i think sometimes he does have moments where he remembers thing and it overwhelms him, so that may be the main time hes the emotional one. however, i guess this entire time for emotional ive been focusing on more.. 'bad' emotions, but i think kinger would gush about how much he loves you, like WOAH! he is just overflowing with feelings right now

FAMILY- honestly he gives me dad vibes, if this dude doesnt already have kids in the real world (wow thats a sad thought... dude is like MIA probably and his kids are left to wonder where he went. double owie if queener/queenie was his real life wife before things happened) so if you guys make it back to the real world and unite, you're gonna be a step parent! would he like to have more kids with you? i think it depends, he would want it, though!

GIFT- you know how some people put bugs in like, cases to preserve them or something? i feel like he would give you those with some of his prettier bugs! loves anything you give him, he always keeps them stored safe in his room!

HARSH- you guys dont really get into arguments, i dont think! kinger doesnt like hiding things from you unless its something deeply personal, but otherwise hes an open book to you

IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- here!

JEALOUSY- its not so much as him being jealous as it is him being paranoid that something is going to happen to him or you, so! even if he wasnt worrying himself half to death he doesnt exactly seem like the jealous type to me, tbh

KISS- its time for my favorite thing for characters with no mouth!!! he boinks his face into yours, i actually wrote something for this! not gonna link it since its so short and i can easily relay the idea: but he would internally hype himself up (usually does this if this is the beginning of the relationship, he gets more confident as time goes on!), and just lightly 'pecks' your cheek before pulling away. loves kissing your cheeks as well as the back of your hands. loves being kisses where his mouth would be as well as his cheeks

LOVE LANGUAGE- quality time!! this man follows you around like a love sick puppy, because he loves you so much but also because again, he worries.. he also likes doing acts of service for you, makes him feel like hes capable of doing things on his own (which he is!). loves it when you return the favor via words of affirmation

MENDED- is he dreaming? is he imagining things again?

nope, its really you. somehow, you've recovered from abstracting, and you're now out of the cellar. he wants to hold you and never ever ever let you go, out of fear that hes going to come to his senses any second and youll be gone. wants to keep you in the pillow fort with him, or at least within his line of sight

NO- its less of an active dealbreaker and more of a "hey this is going to stress him out and probably hurt his mental health" but like, i dont think he would pair well with a really really intense person. like sure caien is pretty intense, but its not like caine is going to be spending a significant amount of time with him everyday, but like. you know? like i talk about some characters enjoying being on their toes and left guessing in regards to their partner, but kinger is NOT one of those people. he needs stability

PDA- less of a case where he actively and knowingly indulges in PDA and more so a case where he subconsciously holds onto your hand to keep you at arms length and to feel you. due to his lack of arms he has probably wandered off without you (and his hand) at least once. is not opposed to PDA, though, so long as its not like. insane

QUIET TIME- quiet time between the two of you is very rare. sure kinger can be very quiet when hes alone, but when hes alone with someone else, someone he cares so much about.. he cant help but fill the silence with words, to keep the ringing in his ears at bay .. so really quiet time is talking time

ROSES- ill mention it again in V (i wrote v before this section), he loves giving you roses especially on special occations! loves receiving flowers as well, he seems like a rose kind of guy as well

SHH- the one thing he doesnt like talking about is queener/queenie, well, more so the last few days leading up to her abstraction. it brings up. well, memories. on one hand he doesnt want to forget her, but on the other hand he doesnt want to bare the pain of those terrible memories

TUNES- THIS THIS THIS THIS ONE ALWAYS COME TO MY HEAD WHEN I THINK OF ROMANTIC HCS FOR SWEETIDEAS FOR OLDER GUYS IDK WHY

UPSET- im going back and forth with a lot of these as i fill in the list so! tying this in with E, i mention one of the only times he gets emotional is when he remembers some unfortunate events that took place in the circus. you're going to need to console him and bring him back to the present moment :(. when you're upset he tries to distract you, takes you to his fort, and tells you stories

VALENTINE- on the chance that he remembers what day it is, hes going to give you the most sterotypical date he can give to you. i think it might be because i can kind of see kinger as like, a classic/stereotypical romantic when it comes to you. flowers, he cant take you out to dinner so he takes you out to the digital lake to gaze at the clouds and watch the bugs pass

WANT- he wants a companion, he wants stability, and thats something he needs. he wants someone to be compassionate about him, his wellbeing, and his interests

XOXO- here! as well as Yearn!

ZZZ- if you guys go to sleep together its always in his room, where hes more comfortable. he also has a thing where he insists on being the one closer to the door; almost as if hes offering himself as protection to you should someone unwanted to come in. huh. always sleep holding onto you, snores like a dad

[cyberbabyangell]

₊˚⊹☆ sorens formula

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

HELLO.

jst wanted to try out the biggest text sorry

lately ive been focusing on the void and waking up there every morning, because with school i cant rlly actively attempt to go there awake anymore. just during the weekends. so here's everything i do, not only void related but also jst shifting and manifesting wise.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི goals : shift in seconds, enter the void every time i wake up, have the 3d bend to my will more easily

. ݁₊ ⊹ morning: i get ready for school, as painful as it is. this is when i like to remind myself of stuff the most, like how i shift in seconds and stuff. i usually have something in the background like a show or subliminals depending on how i feel. in the shower is where i start visualising my dr a lot. random thought but this is literally my last year of school in this reality and i swear im feeling smth 😭

. ݁₊ ⊹ school: on my way i daydream a lot. i daydream hours per day and its not rlly something i can control BUT i have been trying to lately, and have it 50/50 like daydreaming half the way and affirming the second half or daydreaming on the bus and affirming when i walk. during class, if the teachers allow it i put on calm songs that i'd put in the innerspace and visualise myself studying there. during launch i listen to stuff for the void :P whenever i find myself bored at school with a notebook laying around i write down my robotic affirmations.

. ݁₊ ⊹ afternoon: i put on void affirmations (no music) because i automatically repeat them when i hear them :D and i add a morphic field with that. its usually layered (field in one tab and affirmations in the other) but i also like to listen to the field after the affirmations. usually the field triggers physical symptoms like motion sickness, slight headache, shivers/goosebumps and stuff so i dont like listening to it more than 3 times. then i take a break and do whatever. at some point ill put on my void playlist and lay on my bed and affirm. if i finished school hyper early or its the weekend i do enter the void awake! but i like waking up in it better.

. ݁₊ ⊹ night: i put on a shifting reprogramming sub! to remind myself that i shift effortlessly and in seconds. at first id listen to any subliminal so i could give my subconscious the "choice" of either waking up in my dr or in the void, but i narrowed it to changing my shifting mindset while i focus on the void. i check the formula to make sure they dont include immediate shifts/waking up there 😾

. ݁₊ ⊹ manifestation: this is something i do throughout the day without much thought, its been a week and a half honestly and im already used to it. like, first of all every time someone pisses me off i try to not let it get to me and i instantly tell myself, "It's 3D stuff, it won't matter for too long." and since i talk to myself a lot about shifting, i have the occasion to persist! so to remind myself "Only my 4D matters, I'm already in the innerspace, I already shift whenever i want" blablabla. i also have a vision board

the stuff i listen to!!

these two usually once or twice a day! ↑

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this ↑ playlist contains classic void subliminals, a void morphic field and a self-hypnosis! ive been doing the self hypnosis for 5 days now :3 its what i listen to when i lay down and affirm.

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↑ this is what i listen to at night, with a morphic field :D usually the same one as above lol.

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↑ these are all manifestation subs, i used to listen to them but i dont wanna overload my subconscious :3 and also i dont need them anymore because i keep manifesting naturally 🫶 i jst dont gatekeep ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩

" what works for me may not work for you, but that doesn't mean you can't explore! and listen to your gut! "

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦　　

[alixlives]

26 is easily Crimeboys. But. Hear me out. 24 for Crimeboys.

24. “Tickles are an essential part of cuddling!”

i had to do ler wilbur lee tommy just because.

and glad to know im not the only one who thought crimeboys when reading 26— “Stop poking me!”

CC ler!wilbur (he/him) CC lee!tommy (he/him)

if theres errors fuck off its past 3AM and im running on nothing but 2 cans of monster energy

“Wil, come on, please?” Tommy spoke from where he lay on his bed, trying to get Wilbur to atleast lay next to him. He just wanted a damn hug for once, okay!?

“Fine, clingy child,” Wilbur scoffed playfully, moving to sit next to Tommy but just staring blankly at the wall.

“I’m not a clingy child, bitch. I’m a big maaAAAN- Wilbur! What the fuck, man!?” Tommy let out a high pitched shriek as Wilbur, without warning, somewhat tackled Tommy into a bear hug. Wilbur laughed at the yelling.

“What? You wanted my affection, and so I’m giving it to you. I would be a horrible big brother to not give you affection!” Wilbur exclaimed, a playful smirk on his face. Tommy tried to shove Wilbur away, giggling softly at the older’s antics. Tommy’s giggles put an idea into Wilbur’s head.

“Hey, Tommy,” Wilbur’s voice made Tommy pause his shoving— he couldn’t see Wilbur as his back was pressed against the brunette’s chest, but he could almost hear the smirk on his face. He didn’t like it, so he didn’t respond. Wilbur raised an eyebrow at this, but didn’t comment. Simply just started squeezing up and down Tommy’s sides, his smirk turning into a wide, fond smile as Tommy started to squirm and cover his mouth to muffle his giggles.

“Wihihilbuhur! What the fuhuhuck!” Tommy tried to escape from Wilbur’s hold, but he failed as Wilbur was taller and much stronger than he was. Fucking tall bastard.

“Tickles are an essential part of cuddling!” Wilbur spoke, moving his hand to scribble all over Tommy’s stomach, making the blonde squeal.

“WIHIHIHIL! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!” Tommy’s hands moved from his face to gripping Wilbur’s wrists, trying —and failing— to push away the older’s hands. Wilbur only laughed at his futile attempts.

Wilbur only kept it up for a minute, he didn’t wanna kill Tommy. Eventually, it was Tommy and Wilbur laying in bed, both of them half asleep with a random movie on the tv. Tommy was clung to Wilbur like a koala, and Wilbur was struggling to not audibly coo at the blonde everytime he looked down. He may of slipped once or twice.

Tommy fell asleep first, and Wilbur got too many pictures to count; he already knew he’d be using them against Tommy at some point.

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

GUESS WHO'S BACK FUCKERS

Its me

I'm back

You gotta love me not working on requests and being a nerd and brainstorming ideas with @colemorrison

(This one's for you pookie) (I'm sorry I'll never say that again)

This is so ass I'm sorry Im like, half asleep

Into the Void

Cole hadn't thought anything would happen. It was a simple mission that wouldn't require too much effort. That's why it was only Cole, Hanzo, and Mercy who went.

Hanzo hadn't thought anything would happen either. To him it was just another mission for them to do.

Until Cole got shot.

They hadn't anticipated Talon to be there. Much less Widowmaker to have her first shot be at Cassidy.

Hanzo was taking down Talon soldiers left and right as Mercy did her best to push them back enough to get to the safehouse. To get somewhere where they could get to exfil.

Thats when Widow dropped down from one of the ships. Hanzo hadn't noticed her until it was too late. He couldn't even get to his boyfriend, his fiancé, before the bullet went through Cole's torso.

Mercy cussed in her native tongue as Hanzo slung his bow over his shoulder and grabbed Cole, who was standing with his hands over his bleeding stomach. The archer lowered Cassidy to the ground. "Hey there, Han," Cole said, looking up to his lover.

Hanzo was crying. He hadn't even realized how the tears streamed down his cheeks until they landed and mixed with the blood spilling from Cole's stomach.

"Han, you can't give up. If I don't make it-"

"Don't talk like that."

"Please, Hanzo. If I don't make it, you need to be happy again without me. You can't blame yourself for this."

The tears came harder, and Hanzo pulled Cole closer to him.

Widow was getting ready to take the final shot, to take out two targets with one bullet. Just as she started to pull the trigger, Genji appeared out of nowhere. He used his sword to deflect the bullet, sending it back to the sniper. She just barely dodged it and was pulled back up before she could fire another shot.

Seeing his brother, Hanzo looked confused. "Where did you come from?"

"That's not important now, brother. Come, let's get him to Angela," Genji said, putting one of Cole's arms around each of the brothers shoulders. The cowboy was out cold at that point, leaving them to drag him along.

Mercy could only apply a temporary bandage until they got to the safehouse, which didn't do much to stop the damage.

Hanzo was crying the whole time that they dragged Cole through back alleys. He cried as they pulled him into the safehouse. He cried as they laid him down on the bed that the two of them had been sharing just hours prior. He cried as Mercy started her work on Cole.

After what felt like forever, Mercy got Cole stable enough to not need her immediate supervision.

"He's unstable right now, so he might crash at any point. If anything starts beeping in a way that you don't trust, come and get me. This is all I can do until Lena comes to bring us back to Gibraltar." She goes to place a hand on Hanzo's shoulder but decides against it and leaves the room.

Hanzo stayed there for days. Cole died twice, and both times Angela managed to bring him back, but only barely. Cassidy was in and out of consciousness, and every time he was awake, he was more lucid than anything.

When Tracer came to get them out of there, Hanzo wasn't allowed to follow Angela and the other healers into the back of the hovercraft. They put up some sort of wall to stop him from trying to pry. Genji had to hold him as he continued to sob and had to catch the archer when he passed out from exhaustion.

~~~

When Hanzo woke up, he was on a chair in a clean room that smelled of antiseptic. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital wing.

Cole was already awake with multiple IV's connected to his arms. "Hey, Han," Cassidy said, his voice rough with disuse.

The archer looked at Cassidy like he had grown a second head. "You're..." He cut himself off by launching himself onto the cowboy's arms. Cassidy let out a little "oof," but held his fiancé close.

"Nice to see you too."

"Never do that again. Never, you hear me? I'll never forgive you if you die before we get to be old and married and have kids. Am I understood?" Hanzo said, his voice burning with intensity.

Cole started to laugh, but stopped at the glare that he got. "What?"

"I'm serious, Cole Cassidy. I can't-" his voice cracked and the tears started again.

Cole's face morphed into concern as he held the archer closer. "I know, honey. I know. I'm sorry. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"You died. Twice. I was so scared."

They stayed like that for a while. Hanzo crying and Cassidy rubbing his back and holding him. "I was so scared."

"I know. But I'm just fine now thanks to you."

Hanzo didn't have the energy to confess that Genji was the one that saved him by deflecting that second bullet.

After Hanzo calmed down and climbed into bed, Cole came to a realization.

"Ain't I supposed to be the one that needs to be comforted?"

"Shut up."

[lateleviathan]

just finished pretty cure splash star and goddamn did this show stick the landing. the whole season really just felt like the writers saying "okay we've done this twice already, we know what we're doing now"

(info dump below the cut)

basically every aspect of the show was refined from futari wa and max heart, especially the fights. the fights in futari/max could be good but they tended to have the problem of nagisa and honoka just whipping out the marble screw whenever they wanted and winning instantly, making every fight feel like this.

(there were exceptions, like the final fight against poisony where she kept dodging so they had to use her hair as conductor to finally hit her. that fight impressed me so much its permanently burned into my brain).

splash star sidesteps this question almost completely by always having saki and mai be winning BEFORE they use their finisher. they have to create an opening or the splash blast wont hit, which makes each episode's monster of the week fight that much more interesting. (though in the second half of the show they do have a similar problem with their super forms, where moop and foop sometimes just forget they exist to be power ups until the writer decides pretty cure is done getting their asses kicked, making every other fight feel like this)

the villain minions were also consistently interesting, as opposed to futari wa where the first set of villains were interesting but the set in the second half were boring as hell, or max heart where the villains were better than the second half of its predecessor but still pretty boring for the most part. it also helped that the villains were rolled out one at a time and were the only threat until they were killed, at which point the heroes could restore one of the fountains. this really helped to give the series a sense of progression because something tangible was being accomplished every 7 or so episodes. futari wa had this in the first half with the prism stones, but completely lacked that in the second half. max heart tried to do this with the heartiels but they were so disconnected from the villains that they felt more like a side plot as opposed to like the point of the show. it also made it fun when the last batch of episodes had them all revive and team up and we finally got to see how they played off of each other as teammates. that bossrush finale really let splash star have its cake and eat it too in that regard.

also michiru and kaoru are just a way better version of kiriya, like that whole plot was just so much more thought out and satisfying. i still have no idea whats going on with kiriya after his "death" but michiru and kaoru had me crying in the last episode. their addition to the team in the last 8 episodes really felt like practice for the bigger group fight the franchise would focus on going forward, and you can tell from the choreography that they didn't really know what to do with double the heroes. thankfully they figured it out for the final battle. (awkward team choreography pictured below)

speaking of, goddamn those last 2 episodes really were just dragon ball z with magical girls, down to the big bad growing super muscley when he powers up to 100%. this is not a complaint, in fact its high praise that they did this while still feeling congruent with the rest of the show. honestly, i was on the edge of my seat the whole time. like max heart's finale blew me away and i think this was at least on par with that.

all that said, i do think saki and mai are weaker characters than nagisa and honoka. i dont hate them, in fact i grew to love them and am sad to see them go, but they still didnt quite measure up.

for mai it doesn't feel like she gets a lot to do outside of being saki's friend. like she joins the art club but thats only relevant in two maybe three episodes, as opposed to honoka's science club which probably had 6 or more episodes per show (though maybe im misremembering). i thought her being an artsy girl as opposed to honoka's stem girl swag would help differentiate the two, and her art in general does come up often enough, but she still plays the smarter, quieter one next to saki so it doesn't really change much of the protag pair's dynamic.

saki feels even more like nagisa, basically all their personality traits are identical. sporty, big eaters, has the obligatory straight crush, kinda dumb but social and fun. really the biggest difference is that saki isnt as good at her chosen sport (and i love that her team loses the championship, great episode, but even getting to the championship makes this distinction smaller). i like her obligatory hetero crush slightly more if only because it gets less attention than nagisa's, with i think only three dedicated episodes (that said, he should have had a girlfriend instead of it being a fakeout. they dont actually get together anyway and it would have made a good pair with the championship episode for the theme of "you dont always get what you want but thats okay").

still i think splash star was a stronger show overall than futari wa or max heart. i think those first two had a few higher highs, but splash star had less lows. its more consistently good.

so if you for some reason read all this but haven't watched Pretty Cure Splash Star, i definitely recommend it if you enjoy kids' shows. honestly its probably even better if you haven't watched the original futari wa pretty cure, since my main complaints were it not differentiating itself enough from its predecessors.

now to see how yes precure 5 stacks up

[sugar-omi]

I would say how fast the forgiveness went is my biggest critique with Baxter's DLC, but considering it is already the longest and the time crunch, I can also kind of see why it is that way. How would you have lengthened the angst before the forgiveness finally came?

yeah same!! i totally get why its the way it is and i dont think its bad at all, but i do think there's more avoidance and then sudden hashing out n forgiveness. also i think the difference is MC has 5 years to get over baxter, while we have 5 minutes more or less to make the decision so i think thats what makes forgiveness, sudden.

but to answer your question!!!

honestly i think i'd just make it longer n add some more options for those who hold grudges like me lol or just wanna snap on baxter bc i feel like mc never had a chance to really tell baxter how much it hurt. and for the most part baxter kept brushing it off whenever MC tried having a conversation.

although it does make sense cause of the wedding, and thus i'd have it play out more near the end/after the wedding bc i think that took a lot away from the problem, although it did help bring mc + baxter together which i think is a cute trope n i enjoyed it BUT ANYWAY

i think i would totally revamp the scene where mc confronts baxter and in the end it comes to nothing and he's like "im sorry, i can't give you what you want." or "its me, not you" basically

instead i would have a scene, probably before the wedding/baking the cake where MC snaps at baxter.

yelling at him, or at least ranting about how hurt they were. and maybe it ends in tears on your end

or talking about how they felt, and they start crying and ranting about how they felt, how they felt abandoned, etc.

overall i think it definitely ends with baxter hugging you (if you want it) or at least him holding your hands and he's on his knees in front of you, telling you how sorry he is and reassuring you that he wouldn't do it again

because thats one thing i think is iffy about the dlc, realistically you'd be afraid of baxter leaving again but instead its more you reassuring him that you won't leave him and that you want him. but i really wanted that reassurance instead, especially after a conversation on how he left

i would definitely have a option where MC ignores or acts more coldly with baxter, like a silent anger, and would try to not to be around baxter.

and baxter wouldn't talk too much about their moments together- at least if MC is around, but when he did the MC would get upset about it and maybe even walk off or just roll their eyes and go "that was in the past. forget about it"

just MC would be very distant and baxter would chase the MC instead, beg them to talk to him

and maybe baxter catches MC after a session with jude & scott, and he runs up to them, catching them by the wrist/hand

and MC: snatches their hand away, tenses up but doesnt pull away, doesnt pull away from shock/they dont really want to pull away...

and baxter starts going on about why he did it, he doesn't excuse it, he's just trying to explain but hes in front of you as if he didn't tear you apart half a decade ago and you snap at him.

you yell/raise your voice about how he left, how he shut you down when you asked to keep contacting, and now he's here and wants to act like it never happened but you cant do that.

you snap, ranting but keeping your voice even as you tell him how he left and how you had to pick yourself back up. about how he left so cruelly and now he wants to act like it's okay but its not.

you cry, telling him how you can't act like things are okay because you spent a long time trying to get over him. and maybe it worked, maybe it didn't, but either way it hurts.

at the end, you tell him you still love him but you can't go through this twice, that you can't trust him to not hurt you like that. that you love him but you need more than what he's doing.

and he apologizes, asks for a chance to make it up to you. to help you trust him again to which you agree.

basically i just would have a deeper confrontation and less avoidance, less wedding, and a more irritable/distant MC

[seriouslychloe]

spoilers ahead for outer banks season 3!!

lets talk season 3! so i personally really like the season! (besides big john, but we will get to that later) i loved the vibes it gave off! and we got jiara AND cleope!!! so lets start with what i loved, i really like the barbados scenes, which are like the first 2 episodes. i loved the rafe and kie scenes (im NOT a riara shipper but you do you boo) im really glad they stuck to them hating each other. also im glad that kie actually looked scared and acted scared bc she is kidnapped by a man who is threatening killing her if she doesn’t give him a diary???!!!? + she also kidnapped with her like sworn enemy who is also a killer and isnt aware of his next move. i also loved the island scenes and wish we got more :(. i loved episode 5! the train sequence was really interesting and i was laughing so hard when cleope tried to convince the police guy (so good at explaining ik ik) they were in love (but we all know they already were) and the motorcycle scenes were my favorite! the scene after jj crashed his motorcycle was also a great one! + im so glad sarah got a hug with jj rooting for cambank sibling. the “dont ever do that again” 😩✋✋😭 . i loved episode 7 too! the topper and kie interactions 💀 also the fight with jiara was AMAZING!!!! kie looked so defeated when he said it wasn’t gonna work 😭. i loved the music after the fight too (kinda random lol). for the things i wished were different…to start, big john. tbh i liked im better dead. he had WAY TO MUCH screen time! i just wanted clarification that he showered at some point this season his beard was giving me ickk. another thing, i wanted more angsty, emotional scenes. these kids have been through SO MUCH!! they showed a little bit of jj’s mental health but it was like 1/4. im glad they showed more of sarah’s as well! but i really wanted to see more of kiaras emotional side (i am kinda biased) but like she has almost drowned in the MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN holding her best friends dead weight in her arms for a LONG TIME after he got hit on the head most likely suffering from a concussion, she has almost drowned in a sewer, she has betrayed her parents trust but then again its as much their fault that it is hers, she lost 2 of her best friends only to find out they were alive again like a few months later, she has been shot at multiple times, she was kinda guilt tripped into a relationship with pope (no offense to pope, again it was both their faults), she has been abducted twice first by saving someones life then being strangled to go to this killers house, second by being strangled the same way with her parents sitting there watching her to be sent to this wilderness camp that was gonna put her on medication, also rafe said that he was gonna find her and get revenge on her-, she was rejected by the person she lovesss 😍😍 and kept on trying (but thats gotta hurt), she also was called a kook by her best friend, she knew he didn’t mean it but, she has always had trouble fitting in and wanted to be a pogue and rafe also called her “at least half kook” so thats also gotta hurt, and like so much more so I WANTED A BREAKDOWN SCENE >:( (preferably with jj comforting her ) reverse hot-tub scene anyone?? but i also wanted more scenes with all the pogues. this season felt like a constant high and i think there needed to be a break where everyone can just BE HAPPY!!! also like the 4 original pogues scenes pleasee :)! i HATED the stopper cheating scenes (their ship names stopper for a reason-) i just want jarah b to be happy and together for at least one season-, thats all i’m asking. i think overall we needed more pogues being there for each other and comforting each others. also i didn’t like the time jump-, although i’m glad the pogues got a win, i don’t want them to be separated next season. i have run out of space now and have been writing this for 45 minutes but what are your thoughts? id love to know! :)

[gutsfics]

11, 30, 34, 36, and 39 from the relationship asks

yay thank u 💞🩷💖💕

11. Which member is more physically affectionate

Avalon x Thomas - Avalon is more likely to initiate, but Thomas will reciprocate immedeatly

Devi x Noah - both. do Not separate them.

Harper x Tom - Harper, but only by a little bit

Baxter x Rafael - Rafael, but he makes sure that Baxter can handle any sort of physical contact. usually he waits for them to approach him

Simon x Wes x Ezra - its pretty even between Simon and Ezra. Wes isn't one to initiate at random like the other two, but he does know exactly when they need it from him

Reigan & Tobias - listen just because Reigan is asexual and completely uninterested in sex doesnt mean he doesn't love a good cuddle. theyre about even, but their limits are in different places

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.) im excluding mouth & the peenids area for "its too obvious" reasons

Avalon x Thomas - all over the everywhere. you KNOW Avalon loves to pepper Thomas with kisses the second they see each other. He especially loves to kiss Thomas' top surgery scars when he has access to them. and Thomas likes to kiss Avalon's hands and fingertips

Devi x Noah - Devi likes to kiss Noah on the neck, and Noah likes to kiss Devi's nose

Harper x Tom - they both like to kiss each other on the cheek, although Harper Will blow a raspberry against Tom's

Baxter x Rafael - Rafael likes kissing Baxter on the forehead, and Baxter likes kissing Rafael on the knuckles

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Wes likes hugging them both from behind and kissing the back of their necks or shoulders, Ezra kisses the side of their temples, and Simon kisses jaws

Reigan & Tobias - they kiss each other's cheeks in greeting but thats about it lol Reigan isn't a kissy guy

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Avalon x Thomas - Avalon has used every single pet name known to man for Thomas, but Darlin is like. the default one he uses for every occasion. Thomas calls Avalon Ava, and sometimes Bear

Devi x Noah - i mean besides Devi being a nickname of DeVante, not really. sometimes Devi might use a cutesy pet name but not often

Harper x Tom - Harper also uses a shitton of pet names for Tom, but all of them he makes up on the spot and he's never used the same one twice. and Tom will call Harper his sea monster <3

Baxter x Rafael - they're Babs and Raf to each other and (a few) others (not many other people call Baxter "Babs" though. Tobias started that), but also Rafael calls Baxter sweetheart a lot

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Simon and Ezra are Si and Ez, and Wes is just Wes. Ezra also uses codenames for them if he ever talks about them on stage, but idk what they would be yet

Reigan & Tobias - Tobias calls Reigan by his original Korean name, Sungwon, and Sungwon calls him Toby

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

Avalon x Thomas - rcd: Avalon met Thomas' parents during their first relationship, his parents wanted to try to make amends but they weren't very good at gendering him correctly so he brought Avalon for support. it wasm't a super good experience but at least Thomas was able to get a little closure for himself. and while Avalon's parents knew about Thomas, they didn't meet him until their second time in a relationship. Thomas and Avalon visit Texas like once a year to see Avalon's family

hwu: like canon, at Rachel's wedding. Avalon met Simon before though. as for Thomas meeting Avalon's family..........

Devi x Noah - they knew each other since they were in grade school, they always knew each others family

Harper x Tom - i mean. after the start of ILB it's not like there's much family for Tom to meet, and he already knew half of it lol lmao [sobbing]. and Harper meets Tom's family after the events of ILW, once things have settled down. he was supposed to meet them sooner but uuuuum. Events and Happenings <3

Baxter x Rafael - just like in canon, Rafael takes Baxter to meet his family before theyre even dating <3 and Baxter is no contact w their family so i don't know that Rafael ever meets then. maybe i'll write a fic about it but no prommies

Simon x Wes x Ezra - they went to high school together, this just happens. i do need to write a fic about what happened when Wes' dad came to town and that date quest ended on a cliffhanger >:/

Reigan & Tobias - Reigan met Tobias' parents by chance bc they all live in New York City, i dont fully know the details yet? but i do know that Tobais' parents were trying to set him up w This Handsome Lawyer They Know and he agreed to the date to get them to stop asking about it. Reigan was unaware it was supposed to be a date at first, but bc theyre both aromantic they decided to keep "dating" to get both sets of parents off their backs about it lol

and Tobias met Reigan's parents on a trip to his hometown. the purpose of the trip was "See I DO Have A Boyfriend Please Stop Asking"

39. What other couple would your otp get along with the best?

Avalon x Thomas - Janey and her wife Bill. in both hwu and rcd. Avalon and Janey friendship is a canon event.

Devi and Noah get along best with Harper and Tom <3

Baxter and Rafael get along best with Reigan and Tobias

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Lisa and Aria. Lisa and Ezra regularly go on tour together, & they all hang out together a lot when not on tour as well

[enzombie]

I just finished season 4 and im. Im ruined. Ive already watched the show like 6 times btw but FUCK. GOD DAMN

Blaine being truly honest for the first time in as long as we've known him by telling angus he made the sign from god, only to get a reality check when his dad isnt as selfish and cowardly as he is, except thats such a mindfuck because his dad is a horrible awful child abusive son of a bitch, and it must have been so confusing to watch the church devour fraud bater under angus's orders. How eagerly angus watches blaines reaction, how he so hopes that makes up for everything, its sickening. Especially at the end of their arc where if i got it correctly, enzo sold them out? Told FMG they'd be coming and led them to a trap? And we saw angus and his flock get shot down. I cant help but feel bad for blaine

Peyton refusing to let FMG get away with moving up the time of the execution, marching into that studio and taking iver the broadcast, being the REASON people SHOWED UP at the warehouse and being right there with johnny fucking frost of all people, and ravi right by her side.

Major leaping over the crowd of soldiers to tackle chase, raging out completely and rightfully after all the shit he had to do for what he believed to be the right cause, only for the leader of that cause to spit in his face by trying to execute the love of his life. Because despite everything they still love eachother still and major is so goddamn pissed hes not gonna let another person murder his kids and get away ith it (even tho we saw so little of captain seattle i do not rememebr his actual name. Or jordans half the time)

Liv's stone cold expression at pulling the level and crushing chase's skull, and being so right about it too. Still tho, it wasnt enough to bring levon back, just like every time she tries to do the thing she thinks is right, someone she loves dies for it. When she tries to shoot blaine on sniper brain but cant, lowell tries to and gets killed. When she saves the chaos killer victims and clive from dying to a zombie, that zombie just had to be drake. When she tries to help human-zombie relations (misguidedly) and save lives by being renegade, she gets a front row seat to levons head being crushed. Her pain is so real idec chase is done with. It wasnt a good ending for her and i can feel that so clearly, even with that hopeful ending scene

My friend and I talked abour how selfish Liv can be when we started watching together (her first time), but how selfish can someone be when they give up the cure for their ailment twice for other peoples happiness?

And Chase. God. That entire decline during the latter half of the season was brutal. When thwy announced renegades execution and the video came out, he was done it was over, there was truly no coming back from this. He was so out of it at the point of the supporters breaking in that his voice cracks when he shouts at major to stop and when he says dont shoot and hes scrambling wildly for some form of control, in this case a gun that he places his head right on the gillutine. I think its a mercy that he died so painlessly.

At least Dale and Clive got a happy ending to the season though, getting married and getting the cure. Clive calling liv partner when they were saying goodbye in chase's office, it was just so bittersweet

Hope its okay that this is so long i just wanted to dump my thoughts onto someone ^^ this show is phenomenal i cant recover from this tonight.

DAMN. THATS A LOT OF WORDS. DAMN.

I uh idk how to respond to most of this cus there's so much but I'll try my best (also why this took so long to reply sorry)

Blaine is a mixed feelings character, he's a fan favourite and he's always enjoyable to watch. Angus on the other hand idk a single soul who likes that bitch. Say what you will about Blaine, but Angus was EVIL. Shout out to Enzo for killing him off fr. We are grateful. All my homies hate Angus.

Also Enzo didn't exactly sell them out, he more completely set them up - he went directly to Blaine and Angus to make sure they went the exact route, made sure he was there for all the final plans, he collaborated directly with the US military to get rid of Angus and his pals. Like it wasn't a split second betrayal it was a planned execution, he knew full well Angus would take the bait and was probably hoping Blaine would too. I'm not sure if it was even an official FG operation because as far as we know, Chase didn't hear anything back from Enzo about the church. He didn't tell the press his name, he was the only FG personnel there - I'm sus that he just took it upon himself to deal with them. King behaviour.

And yeah Peyton was girlboss at the end of season 4 but it's like. When her bestie in danger she got all this proactive shit but when she's acting mayor the energies like half that. Makes me mad.

As for major. Little sympathy. Oh did your child soldiers get killed? Maybe child soldiers are a bad idea? Maybe you wouldn't be upset if you didn't have children as soldiers in the first place? Maybe giving untrained children weapons is guaranteed to go badly and end with them injured or killed? Do you think? Like. Honestly. And the way he was with Levon. Major was weird in season 4 idk. And I disagree with them killing Chase. There's so many worse people in the show that she can't bring herself to kill but Chase she executes without hesitation. He wasn't even that bad. I don't think its very fair for him either. Like he was trying his best to keep Seattle under control, and renegade was actively making everything worse. And if you think he was doing a bad job what came after in season 5? With Major: terrorism and hatecrimes peaked and he did nothing, he made Seattle completely reliant on Blaine who (bless him) is not trustworthy and not a good person and is obviously going to be a controversy. With Enzo: the second he took over, Majors mistakes blow up and Seattle dealing with civil war. Not to mention Enzo isn't great at de-escalation, at any point - not even just when he's in charge, since his introduction he walks in and makes situations worse on purpose (can't help being a girlboss)

As for your question about Liv being selfish - it's shortsightedness. She'll do selfless things that make her feel good but she won't consider the consequences. Stuff like giving up the cure is fine, not really any consequences, she gets to help her friends. The renegade stuff, she gets to scratch sick people and feel good about it - but the whole of Seattle gets closer and closer to dying horribly every time she does. It's like only caring about what's directly in front of her. Irritates me a little tbh. Especially when she's one of the only zombies not experiencing the food shortage so it's just this whole privilege thing while thousands of people are at risk.

Clive and Bozzio are so precious I love them so much they deserve everything. That's all.

Anyway, hope you and your friend enjoy season 5✌️

[silvermeww]

things that are short term that i'm not into:

stomach hurty. it does not like this stupid mocha

less than 30 mins til next class

it's bio. it's going to suck

and i JUST finished that annoying lab report that makes no sense whatsoever (i hate bacteria so much. why. i also hate evolution, which one of my professors pronounces it as eeveelution and i had to stop myself from laughing)

in the library there is a massive bug flying around

i've been stuck here since 7:30

i only slept for 5 hours

okay i've already finished the class at this point and dang my stomach feels worse. what did i drink, knock-off mocha?? poison?? i never felt this bad drinking something in a long, long while (if ever)

never trust cafes in uni again. back to the vending machine rip

much more interesting things about pokemon that i'm going though:

after trying out pokerogue a week or so ago, i'm somehow more than halfway the whole thing. for my first pokemon-adjacent game (well, more fanmade than anything), i'm doing decently well. yeah i cheat by restarting before i die but i'm pretty sure everyone does at this point lol.

it's actually interesting that most of my opponents (as gym leaders/bad guys) are unova/kalos respectively. where is my character and why are they inbetween these two regions??

it's so much more funnier when you know that at least half my team is weak to fire. i don't know how they're surviving. team flare keeps bringing out fire types and i hate that my first gym leader was chili aka his monkey that knows incinerate. + i 'basically' died so many times to xerosic aka one (out of TWO??) of his vilillon know hurricane that somehow smashs my team and one (again out of two) of his malamar knows superpower = all but two of my team is hella weak to that move.

even more funnier that i keep oneshotting wild pokemon that i want to get. talonflame? mimikyu (which always survives the first attack but dies in the next no matter what i do)? that stupid manetric (that i found twice at least??) that oneshots ME if i give it a chance and try to catch it when it has like 5 hp left?

i feel like the game knows what xy does to me because right after surviving another flare grunt i face LYSANDRE?? of all people?? i was so lucky that i healed them all up as much as my saved up money would allow bc hrngg i hate that 7 foot man. so many deaths between him and xerosic. hate this french guys fr (the scientist is still the worst though. all he does is reinforce my fear of vilillon and malamar)

i love how i managed to sweep a whole area with my magnezone. it was a fairy cave with a bunch of fairy + water types. flash cannon + zap cannon go brr

talking about magnezone, i keep forgetting that discharge will mess up anyone else on my team in a double battle (kept killing my poor squawkabilly whose a beast with aerial ace but sucks in defence + weavile who is weak to say too many things to be alive rn and yet still tanks with triple axel and rock smash). kind of the same issue as my previous ace rillaboom, who fell from his pedestal due to wood hammer and its stupid recoil damage (i replaced it dw but he’s still very behind compared to the rest of my team). this game is really teaching me about how moves work and their viability in games as opposed to anime

im pretty sure that fairy cave took me to johto cause all of a sudden i got pryce. why?? and his mr ryme (which is female?? also wow hello gen 8 with my gen 2 gym leader) knows double kick aka i'm DEAD pls

anyways weavile carries my team along with magnezone, squawkabilly is largely backup if i'm stuck with fighting types (plus any pesky grass and bug), my comfort furret that used to be my real comfort sentret hold sucker punch and echoed voice just in case but is really just There lol, persian i used to really rely on when it had fake out + feint but power gem is super useful (and i hold hope that i can use pay day in excess in the future), and rillaboom has knock off (used to be really useful) and is mostly there to smash through water types. i did not choose this team, this team chose me at this point heh

honestly not doing this for competitive stuff so i don't have any qualms about refreshing the page before the game puts me at the start again, but where does everyone get their legendaries?? and how on earth did i oneshot my rival's shiny rayquaza with triple axel HELP

all in all, pretty good progress. rn around 160?? middle of nowhere. giving me major mezase vibes with the fact that i have no idea where i am. my rival is confounded as i am about oneshotting his recent team with weavil, only my bird is female, and somehow all of those fire-type moves and pokemon are just gone. and i never knew how awesome sturdy can be until my magenezone is just,, living after an earthquake. with 1 hp. and oneshots that abomasnow afterwards with flash cannon. anyways everyone should give them so much love especially since i raised it from a wee magnemite with, like, thunderwave or smth. it literally only had status moves at the start.

also how come all of my rare eggs are just starters?? in the game where all starters are already avaliable from the start?? + one shiny sneasel but AFTER i already have my main one. btw does anyone care for 3 torchics lol

[goldentigerfestival]

god what I wouldn't give for Namco to just reboot Crestoria. not this crossover-less manga that skipped half the story and altered major aspects of its own original cast. the story the way it was, with legacy characters deeply intertwined with the plot to the point that they were handled just like original characters.

I don't hate the manga but I'm very aggravated with it. I keep seeing people mention it's doing poorly and like... yeah??? this is taking a vague concept from the game that players loved the story and cast of and mashing it into a speedrun of "how many scenes from different chapters can we stick into a single manga chapter/manga arc". at first, I understood needing to remove crossover stuff for an original manga... but now it's at the point where they've completely changed whole storylines for its own original cast.

if any of y'all have seen some of my tags on my Cresty reblogs, you know I'm as stupid and just as silly a girl as one can get about Vicious. I'd have to say he's probably in a tie as my second place favorite overall character in the franchise.

so idk, watching the game turn into this empty shell of what I loved is hella painful lol. I want the game back with the full cast, legacy characters included, and I want to know all their roles and how they'd continue to be incorporated into the story. so many plots got left behind. Milla and Kasque, Milla and Velvet, Lloyd's group, Stahn and Leon, Barbatos, Yuri, Emil, Julius, Cless and Kanata, Asch... and that's obviously not everything but yeah (some of them I could argue never legitimately needed to show up again due to having their plot relevance completed more or less but could show up again just as Kanata's friends like Reid and Veigue).

I mean of course I'd love to play the game again for what it was, but it's the story and characters (legacy included) that kept me going even when the gameplay started to stagnate (which was probably a cost issue if I had to guess). the voice acting and music had a big part in it too.

there's no particular direction for this post; I just needed to vent about my frustrations with Crestoria's fate LOL. at this point if the already not great manga fails, they probably really will give up on it because it's "failed" twice (and to my knowledge it's entirely not the player base's fault it failed and in part had to do with JP players no longer funding the game after a huge refund scandal). I don't think they'd want to make a console game or anime out of it at that point or turn the game back on.

see, like, if they turned the game back on (if they even still had the code for it idk how that works with online service games shutting down), I wouldn't even mind entirely if they'd deleted player data (which at this point I imagine they would have). like I'd be bummed but... I'd go through it all again and wait for content I already knew if it meant new stuff was coming after. YEAH THAT'S HOW DESPERATE I AM.

anyway putting vicious crestoria in a gacha game was a sin and you can take that as a pun or not but it rly was a sin of them to put smth that great (also not a pun but it can be) and amazing in the confines of a gacha game that they ended up pulling the plug on after a year and a half anyway.

salt for dinner, folks!

my problem is that i love cresty too much and now im hurtin' for it.

[toomanyfandoms-help]

some of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions ive been experiencing lately. merely needed a place to write this down and get it off my chest, so please feel free to scroll on

not fully sure exactly how to describe. depressive spiral? self-fulfilling prophecy? simply an unhinged, unhealthy person chattering away and scaring those close to them? something along those lines.

cant pinpoint where exactly it started either. i can give guesses, but its definitely something thats been building, rather than something that snapped.

im thinking somewhere in june. too good to be true, too much going right that i got suspicious. or maybe i was picking up on stuff i shouldve picked up on, did pick on earlier, and ignored.

it certainly started to crumble, starting with the trip. havent spoken to one of them since. its been 2 months. never really liked him though, and im quite assured in assuming the feeling's mutual.

then everyone got busy. and work got worse. and more busy. and even worse. hyperbolic, maybe a little. even still.

i dont push. i hate pushing. whenever i do even a little bit i hate myself for it. i take up other's offers gladly, but it gets further between. it feels less like friendship and more like im merely the person these people vent to every few weeks.

the one time (several times, i just stopped asking) i did ask, it got cancelled severely last minute with a half-assed apology. well, no. it was understandable. but still incredibly frustrating.

been spending more time with my family as a result. its familiar, in a tangy, bittersweet way that nostalgia is. we're closer than most, i know that, given the unique circumstances my and my sister grew up in. she knows me well.

everything took a turn when i quit though. on a whim (stressing all week and all day the day-of) setting my key down and leaving with head held high (shaking like a leaf and turning my music up too high on the drive home). combined with the stress of the previous day (shit going wrong with the house and my sister telling me she was probably minutes away from killing herself several years ago (something i already knew but somehow it hit harder (i can guess why))) it all just hurt

i also was with a friend. the day before i quit. kinda.

he helped me, sure. as in he helped with the house issue. but he didnt really talk to me. he tried to show me tiktoks on his phone (i spotted a groupchat with my friends without me in it (the old one with me hasnt been touched since june)) but they were all so. mindless.

we havent hung out since. he tried, twice. the first time i asked how many people he asked before me (its been a reoccurring problem, actually, where i am the last thought of) and he said i was the first. i didnt believe him. he tried again the next day, but i was actually looking forward to hanging out with my family so i declined.

he hasnt reached out since.

i sometimes think about how it makes me upset i cant be angry. im not really allowed to be. which is a weird thing to think about. what do i mean i cant be angry. but i think i mean it in a way like. my anger burns so deep and hot and fast, and its never good. its never for a good reason. being angry feels good, sometimes, but i cant revel in the feeling because i should not have been angry. i did things i regret.

i dunno. anger is a good emotion to have. i know that. it feels good, to feel your blood boiling just a bit and steam clouding your vision. its the one way i can really lose myself.

but its aimless. im usually angry at things i cant counteract or control or do literally anything against. it builds up. i cant release it. and when i do get angry at something i can do something about, well. it usually gets much more than deserved.

but how do you apologize for that. im not sorry for my anger, i was rightful to be angry. but my actions were maybe over the top. maybe i let out too much. maybe im not communicating at all. i dont know

how does one just. stop. not in a suicide way, but also not not in a suicide way.

i cant just go. not right now. my birthdays in 2 fucking days and i cant do that to my family. so maybe after. but we've got a vacation in 2 weeks and i dont want that to be canceled because its supposed to be the last family vacation we have.

but i cant last that long. im in limbo right now, and every single second is tearing at me and i just cant fucking feel anything anymore.

theres things i want to experience and be around for but the price of being a human being is just so fucking high that i cant fucking do it anymore. why do i exist on this miserable mortal coil and drag people down with me. why am i here

can it just stop, please

[foxstens]

yea... blasphemous gets hard

it has an ng+ plus mode which gives you access to new bosses, i think an entire area, and also the true ending of the game, but also gives enemies more health, and you can choose from three options to make the game even harder. you can do it without any of them but each has a reward. and yea, ng+ basically means you replay the game but you retain all of the abilities skills and powerups you got previously, you’ll just be missing all the collectibles, currency, health and energy upgrades, and of course you have to discover each area and fight each boss all over again.

i’ve been doing this with one of the difficulty options that transforms your health bar into health orbs and halves the damage of your sword, it hasn’t been too bad, getting around and making progress takes a lot less time bc i know what the heck im doing, and everything does one orb of damage which is mostly a good thing. but i only get like 9 life orbs total and the flasks which previously refilled most of my health, now refill one orb instantly and then all the other ones over time. kind of like hiveblood i guess. which is really good in the overworld when you can just chill until your health refills but really freaking hard during boss fights jesus christ. like beating the three sisters platforming boss took me like three times as many tries as on my first fucking playthrough what the fuck

and it’s even harder now that i’m in the late-game like my fully-upgraded sword only does half damage and the enemies have so much health and one particular mini-boss is so fucking difficult for me i had to find a way to get around it so i don’t have to grind until i manage to kill it somehow. and now i’m in the prison area which i really liked on my first playthrough, i like its design, the enemies weren’t too bad and it has one of my favourite bosses, but this time around i am strugglinggggggg. there’s one enemy that just kind of screams and charges at you, they take like 5 hits to die now and that should be fine except that hitting them doesn’t stop their charge so you gotta dodge first then hit and then do it all over again, but it’s very easy to get stun-locked because they attack faster than you can get up from getting knocked over. so i entered this area five minutes ago and i’ve already died twice eh.

i’ve also tried two of the bosses required for the true ending that i never beat in my first playthrough, one of them is really cool, very much a dance kind of fight, really reminds me of troupe master grimm as far as the structure of the fight and even the overall vibe, i got close to beating her a few times but then quit bc i got tired. 

the other one however, is in a very weird area, it’s a small area that has nothing interesting in it, one boss one collectible and extremely, extremely tanky enemies. the boss itself is kinda cool, visually it looks pretty different from other bosses i’ve come across and its attacks are all very easy to avoid, but it’s just. its health is obnoxious.

with my sword damage nerfed of course everything takes longer to die even if i abuse spells as much as possible, and that’s fine, i knew that going in, BUT THIS GUY IS FREAKING ABSURD. USUALLY WHEN I HIT A BOSS WITH MY SWORD I CAN SEE A BIT OF THEIR HEALTHBAR DISAPPEAR, THAT’S HOW ATTACKS WORK, BUT WITH THIS GUY IT TAKES LIKE 5 SWORD HITS FOR ONE TINY FRACTION OF ITS HEALTH TO GO AWAY. EVEN MY COMBO FINISHERS THAT DO 3 TIMES THE NORMAL SWORD DAMAGE AND EVEN MY POWERED UP SPELLS THAT DO 200% MORE DAMAGE BARELY SCRATCH IT WHAT THE HECK

and it’s so easy like in my first try i got well into its second phase before i died but holy fuck it takes so long. it takes so fucking long it’s so annoying. i do not understand this design decision, no other boss i’ve fought takes even a third the amount of time this fight goes on. i mean there’s like 4 or so bosses i haven’t fought yet but i don’t think they would have this much health. at least i hope not. i mean i’d like to finish this playthrough sometime this century maybe. 

still having fun tho, am excited for everything i haven’t done yet and i’m also going to have to try some of the other difficulty options, though i might not end up going through the entire game with them. but even if i don’t i do want to do another full playthrough on normal mode bc you need to select an existing save file to access the boss rush and the difficulty on that save file carries over so... yeah.