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#im going off of caffiene from here on out because im starting to be afraid that i might have a heart attack
chucklechampion · 1 year
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evening dedicated to The Horrors
#i just need to fucking vent man#i cannot fucking live like this anymore#i still dont have the tags for my car and its almost been a year#a whole year where i didnt go ANYWHERE but work and home and sometimes special occasions when i felt i could risk it#and the daily agonizing fear of being pulled over again and getting a ticket that i cant afford because i cant afford to pay for my tags#ive gotten one of those smart watches that can track your heart rate and stress and im genuinely developing a heart problem from stress#when i was driving home tonight i think i mightve had an arrhythmia which was a scary feeling#im going off of caffiene from here on out because im starting to be afraid that i might have a heart attack#im twenty fucking five years old and im so stressed and scared about money that im afraid of a heart attack#i miss being able to go and do things and just get out of my generally shitty house#i feel like i would be a totally different person if this was just finally taken care of#someone who doesnt feel like they need to hospitalize themselves because the neverending stress is making you suicidal#because it feels like it’ll never end and i’ll be scared and hurting forever#because how the fuck am i gonna get almost $2000 when im going through a garnishment#like i can barely afford to pay all my billa#fuck i CANT even pay my bills my mom is covering my phone bill this month#because i’d have to choose between car insurance or a phone#and god for fucking bid i ever lose my insurance#the level of fear i would have just trying to get to and from work would kill me#and the longer this goes on the more i wonder if that might actually happen#im smoking way more because im stressed. i cant sleep because im stressed. i cant eat because im stressed.#all things that preclude some pretty serious cardiovascular problems#i have a doctors appointment on tuesday to discuss my heart#im nervous for it but who knows#i have had an exceptionally high heart rate but maybe the arrythimia was just psychosomatic#my money troubles have completely stopped my life and i cant see a way out#i feel like im drowning and like im going clinically insane#i was outside sitting in our carport and a cop drove by and i was so terrified i spent 10 minutes hiding in an empty room#looking through the blinds to see if they were gonna come do something#i am so afraid that i have considered quitting my job because the commute is so stressful and upsetting
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lunartearrose · 5 years
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Because i can't decide on what else to do: headcanons
Some assassination classroom headcanons about Gakushu, Karma, and Nagisa within the seven year gap. Or it all can be taken as just in general stuff because heck, it probably counts for other parts of their lives. Here we go!
For Gakushu:
-got addicted to coffee and now constantly has a mug of the stuff with him. He's got different mugs to keep variety.
-his highest amount of coffee cups per day is 15. But thats just on record its no quota
-rarely ever sleeps unless someone knocks him out or he has a sort of crash
-everyone refers to him as Asano, even himself. One could say he's kind of having issues with a problem of being unable to separate his own identity from his fam, but if you throw this in his face he'll deny it and be extremely conscious about it for a while.
-morning involve him getting out of bed, having a bagel or something and lying to his dad's face about getting enough sleep. Lets all face it: they both lie to eachother about sleep and just kind of keep it that way, neither wanting to bother to fix their issues enough to validly bring up the other's
-gakushu, if ever involved in a scheme where nagisa would usually be put in the dress, openly volunteer to both spare the boy and reason it as upstaging, specifically because either karma or rio said "nobody does it better than nagisa". He does it better because he's actually confident with the look, and nagisa was pretty grateful.
-he still group texts his big 5 pals
-can imitate voices crazily easily
-nagisa is helpful for asano. He helps him figure out his feelings and maybe reveals what emotions he tries to cover up.
-he at some point wonders how he would look with long hair and one summer, against his father's wishes, Gakushu grew it out. And due to his superhuman devil fam genes, it grew out pretty quick and shocked his class
-actually pretty impulsive when it comes down to things. Things got a little ugly when he tried to quit his addiction, and so karma had to be summoned to stop gakushu from, well, drinking pure caffiene he extracted from basically sciencing a bunch of coffee.
-expert at other people, fool when it comes to himself
-has heard stories and hates nagisa's mom. Zero trust
-supports nagisa and karma in things, tho usually subtly
Alright! On to Karma:
-prankster that can't resist doing what he thinks is funny, especially if it involves Asano
-tries to remember to call Asano by his first name as much as humanly possible. Though Gakushu is longer saying wise, its the guy's name.
-texting nagisa at any opportunity
-adores guys, adores guys in dresses, and just. Yeah he's gay keep scrolling
-visits good old E class to pick the lock and hang out in the empty rooms. Keeping desks clean, doodling on the chalkboard, all sorts of that stuff. He doesn't admit it, but he sometimes cries soley because he misses people
-karma is really emotional but does a good job at surpressing this when he needs to and generally acting chill all the time
-would throw hands with any enemy if they return, especially takaoka the friggin bastard
-and yes, be will put his pals in dresses. Anything that looks nice, yes
-catch him off guard and he still gets that full face blush
-throw hands with him he dares you
-if its a fun impulse he will let gakushu do it, and in fact, encourage it
-visits the guy through his lil balcony. Wants to visit nagisa but nagisa is far away and it makes him kinda sad
-apprehensive and embarassed at first, but yes, he shall dawn the dress one time. Gakushu and nagisa have bunches of pictures. The tables have been turned
-finds it fun when people get passionate over things - this is why he likes to fight gakushu in academics and the occasional spar if the guy wants.
-will call u cute in that certain tone he uses for people
-supports nagisa's haircut. Like hell yes!!! Nagisa is being himself!!!!
Now, finallyy, Nagisa:
-really just polishing his already perfect assassin skills
-paints his nails so they look shiny like snake scales, like that metallic green that shines to blue to purple in certain lights. Who said nail paint had to be a girly thing? Especially when it looks so cool
-still working on getting his mom to leave him alone and undo some of the damage she's left him with. Also uses his knowledge on how to cope to help Gakushu get past his sleeping habits and air out the bits of toxicity that remain between him and his father. Remember, if you get more sleep than your jerky father, you're better than him and winning
-will decline crossdress requests until further notice. He wants to be comfy with his own body and until he can get himself away from the thoughts of his past with his crappy mom that still bother him, no skirts.
-goes to therapy because he wants to get better and get past feelings he has trouble with letting go
-the afformentioned boys love his spooky faces and smiles
-will give a cheek smooch to close pals if they ask him. Cheek smooch is platonic in his eyes usually!
-he and kayano are gossip buds and often talk over feelings. She supports him and he does his best to do the same
-he wants to visit karma but... there is so much schoolwork.... hfkjgh
-also! Deathly afraid of growing apart from his friends, esp. Karma
- "asano please for the love of god take the dresses mom keeps sending me i dont want them burn them"
-if takaoka ever became a problem again things would probably escalate to bloodshed this time
-he is still the best assassin and can definitely sneak into wherever his classmates or even where asano starts work to visit them
-will give other pals nails the snake gradient paint job. Karma's will have a firey scale look and asano gets a cool purple to lightish red
-suggested the new hairdo karma has
-rlly honestly just cool and love his friends and supports them
Thats all i can think of for the moment! Hope y'all enjoy these. Ive been writing a fic featuring some of these so i hope you enjoy these until im finished w that💖
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