#im smoking way more because im stressed. i cant sleep because im stressed. i cant eat because im stressed.

[fooltofancy]

i'm going to talk to myself morosely in the tags for a bit to see if i can unknot the brain parts, disregard.

[boxjellyjelly]

Do you happen to have any headcannons regarding O'Connor and his friends? They live rent free in my head right now

Gotta admit, i do really hope they release maybe like a dlc or a short part two game that just focuses on the crew and their lives, because O'Connor and Gibbo, despite having only a few lines actually seem like they have lots of cool lore! Especially Gibbo (him talking about beasts, flashing lights etc)

Anyways! Heres a few headcanons of Gibbo, O'Connor, Trots, Finlay and Caz! **SPOILERS!!**

O'Connor

- i think lots of people think Mary is O'Connors wife, but I actually think hes talking about his daughter! Someone on the SWTD reddit said the ones who turn into The Shape are sort of traumatized or broken in some way, and the shape seems to lure/sedate its victims by making it think someone they care about is talking to them, so my mind immediately goes to O'Connor had a wife who either died or left and Mary is all he has. Poor guy :(

- I feel like he would be the type to go up to Trots when they first meet and ask if he can "see how blind" Trots is by trying on his glasses lol (he means well though!!)

- Poor man has night terrors like nobodies business. I like to think hes had night terrors the week leading up to what happens in the game about The Shape, but in very vague ways. Has probably told Trots or Gibbo about them as a joke.

Gibbo

- Again, a lot of people on reddit speculate that people who are traumatized or broken, I think his father left him or maybe just isnt a very great guy, since he tells Caz to tell his mom he'll be home soon, and since his ramblings sometimes sound like something an angry/neglectful father would say to a kid. I think Gibbo def gives off mamas boy vibes

- BIG. OLE. SOFTIE!!!! Definitely is the one who hung up all the christmas decor, and helped Dobbie with decorating their shared cabin.

- Definitely has seen some weird shit that Rennick has told him to stuff down, the "flashing lights" in the ocean, creatures that come up that he chalks up to being weird sea creatures so he can sleep peacefully at night

- I feel like in a weird way, he would survive the explosion and make his way to the main land, maybe to see his mom again or to try an find help

Trots

- I personally fucking adore Trots, he feels like the dad friend of the crew, the type that goes up to the crew when Rennick is up their asses and tells them to stand up for what they think is right.

- Always making passive aggressive comments around Rennick, Caz and Roy are always having to break the two up when they get into heavily heated arguements

- In his infected form, i think it shows a lot about the stresses he has as a union person and as a person in general. He feels like hes always having to clean up peoples messes, make sure things are working the way he should be, I feel like he puts on a composed face infront of everybody but is heavily stressed by his duties to keep everyone from getting killed

- I think he likes melancholy music :] soft and sad tunes that you can take a nap to while it rains outside

Finlay

- Can throw back shots like nobodies business, Caz and Muir are constantly doing drinking games with her and she always wins (though the hangover afterwards for her is more of a lose than anything)

- Constantly messing with Addair by getting into political battles and not giving him any satisfaction in seeing her get angry or anything, will sometimes just throw in random hyper-exaggerated takes to see him get mad

- As we seen from the paper, an absolute fucking wizard at darts, like, to the point where if shes drunk as all hell shes still able to hit multiple middles in a row

- Has nightmares too, but about her son. I cant imagine how hard it was for her to make it past the Shape hearing her son singing and calling out to her :((

- I feel like shes also pretty close with Roy, goes out for smoke breaks with him and stuff like that

Caz

- Double jointed. Maybe im just projecting onto him but the way his legs hurt from like THE SMALLEST OF FALLS is some double jointed problems shit. That being said, he totally does that bending-finger-back party trick for the crew, Trots tries to warn him against doing it but the look of disgust and suprise on the crews face will always make him do it again lol

- Was accidentally the first person to find out about Muir and Innes's relationship. He caught them kissing in the mud room, ever since then hes tried to be like,,,, overly accepting to the point where every time Innes and Muir are walking together he gives them a thumbs up like a dork

- Keeps his hair long despite Rennick and Addairs comments because Suize likes it that way (you cannot tell me Caz doesnt like getting his hair pulled lmao he is WHIPPED for that lady)

- I like to think his afterlife is him haunting his house, i know that may sound shitty but i want that man to be able to watch his weans grow up :(((

[faerunsbest]

ive never sent an ask but im assuming this is for sharing brainrot. so yeah i literally cant stop thinking about tav arriving at the grove, knocking aradin out. later that day after speaking with dammon (and resisting the urge to drop kick kagha into the atmosphere) everyones at camp. tav cant sleep bc shes so horribly stressed, angry at the druids, but also curious about zevlor and his whole deal she cant stand it so she goes for a walk around the grove to clear her mind but finds herself in front of zevlors stone door. to her surprise he opens it and they look at eachother blankly for a moment before the tiefling decides not to ask why. doesnt matter, he cant sleep either. instead zevlor simply retrieves two hand rolled cigarettes from his pocket, lights one with a flame spell on his fingertip and hands it to her before lighting his own. they sit outside the entrance in peaceful silence for a few moments before tav gives in and starts asking so many questions (making sure not to ask anything that could trigger the poor old veteran) and they talk and smoke and drink whiskey until nearly sunrise and theyre tipsy and overtired by the end of the night so neither of them feel awkward about parting with a kiss(or more, why not when youre under the constant shadow of impending doom) AAAAAAAAAAAAAA help

bruh

im sitting here eating a potato and saw this and i SKRUMPT!

am i the brainrot page?! is that who i am????? oh my god im so excited, thank you

on a more related note

THATS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO GET TO KNOW ZEV!

shit thats like being drunk at 3 am on the porch talking shit with a stranger who is your bestie right then. I can just see them talking mad shit right there just venting to each other and they UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!? Thats probably the most zevlor has felt like himself in AGES because theres no judgement no one is watching or expecting anything from him. they have qustions? great so does he! they probaby woke people up laughing.

i can absolutely see this being the reason zev relaxes a little bit more when tav rolls up. just visibly melts a little bit because 'ah my friend!'

i would wish that they get to sit off on the sidelines at the party smoking and drinking again. maybe theyll do more but its be so cool if they just passed out just leaning back to back like soldiers do. he trusts tav even if hes not coherent

[scariercnidaria]

another kerapin modern au where lapin is a medieval history professor at a uni and keradin is a financial lawyer who took one of his classes because he was interested in the crusades and he needed a history credit 8 years ago. he ended up dropping the class after a semester and a half at his therapist (pastor) (who just so happened to be a friend of the police officer assigned to the case) polite "suggestion" (restraining order threat), after developing a bit of a psychosexual obsession with lapin and doing a little trolling (targetted harrassment/stalking). in the interim keradin got another therapist (real one) (court mandated) and is on mood stabilisers now but still has not stopped seething about professor cadburys evil woke cultural marxist agenda.

lapin in this scenario is living with amethar in theos Eternal Bachelor Pad. he was living with amethar and caramellina (with reduced rent in exchange for tutoring jet and ruby who are probably like 14 in this scenario [so sorry for de aging them all a little bit i know im committing old men yaoi crimes it just makes slightly more sense this way. itd still be like. lapin 56+, keradin 31, amethar 44, theo ~46, caramellina 49]) until The Divorce (over finanicial disputes - amethars business is crumbling and is bringing caramellindas down with it as she just cant keep funnelling profits from her business into amethars in order to keep it afloat any longer; amethars purported unfaithfulness is not really an issue here because um This is just politics).

theo is trying to find an excuse to kick lapin out without making amethar feel worse about the situation but the only thing he has on him is that hes a bitch and smokes weed outside the laundry room sometimes but its been legalised and anyway lapin is never late on rent cause he has like 700 jobs (on top of being a history professor, lapin also has a side hustle leading bdsm/consent workshops at the library and also moonlights as a professional dom at a local sex club) (he also is still tutoring jet and ruby (for money this time) and has a positive relationship with caramellinda (they bitch about amethar) but she wont let him move back in because she "needs space"). theo thinks they have a weird gay thing going on (and hates it) and lapin is aware that theo thinks this and plays into it (because its funny) (and also hates it)

meanwhile in the keradinosphere, he has been consistently working ~60 hour weeks at his one (1) job at the same law firm for the last 5 years with no (0) promotion. his life is literally: work (10 hours), gym (2 hours), commute (2 hours each way), doomscroll on The App (5 hours), sleep (3 hours) every day forever.

on saturdays he works from home and on sundays he has church and then spends 3 hours sitting on a bench at the park "chilling out" (staring into the distance) (he doesnt own any books) before going to his court mandated weekly therapy session. his apartment is a textbook r/malelivingspace populated with an absolutely obscene collection of anime posters, lifting equipment, nerd shit replica medieval weapons or something and also an ever-rotating cast of Windowsill Plants Of The Month because he cant stop accidentally killing them and bursting into tears. his therapist tells him this is progress and that his drywall & security deposit will thank him

at some point some disaster hits keradin or something and they make him take sometime off work, and strangely without spending 10 hours under high stress bullshit every day + some melatonin he is actually for once in his life able to get more than 3 hours of sleep per night. at the same time, keradins The App experience starts being psy-op'ed by a memepage called xXsugarPlvmF4IRY_ who has infiltrated his niche internet tradbulb /fit/ microculture and begun flooding it with """ironic""" grecian gay sex "RETVRN" propaganda. this is a big hit as far as engagement among terminally online perpetually enraged historypilled incel-adjacent men such as keradin, and 6 hours of seething at ancient femboys combined with 8 hours of sleep and his brain unshrivelling somewhat results in him starting to have Gay Sex Dreams, which metastatises into him having Regular Gay Thoughts in the conscious world. he is too mortified to tell his pastor (because it is a liberal church and hes worried hell be supported) so he tells his therapist instead in hopes that they will recommend conversion therapy.

spoiler alert they dont. they encourage him to test the waters at his own pace by passing him a flyer for a consent workshop at the library later in the week in hopes that it will help him Get Comfortable With Sex As A Concept. keradin shoves the flyer in his sock drawer hoping to ignore it but is so haunted that he stays up all night doing some inspired googling and eventually learns about bdsm and is like woah! just like bulbo from my self-flagellation! he tries his best to resist the urge but he cant stop thinking about it and hes found he quite likes getting 8 hours of sleep and this New Stress is compromising that. eventually he looks up the number for a local sex club and books an hour and a half-- the following day, so he doesnt have time to chicken out-- with "father candi" (priest roleplay) ($120 out of pocket) (he tries not to think about having to face his actual pastor after this).

keradin goes there and surprise surprise its lapin.

keradin thinks he seems a little bit familiar but he cant quite put his finger on from where... so he discards the thought, and lapin straight up doesnt recognise him either so it all goes ahead.

lapin asks about boundaries and keradin is like "what are boundaries" so lapin spends the first hour and 15 minutes explaining boundaries and trying to get keradin to come up with something, anything dear bulb please. eventually they settle on a very rudimentary list and lapins like. ok that took ages we have 15 minutes left if you want to try and scene and keradin made it this far he isnt going to leave without at least trying gay sex It Would Kill Him. so they do an incredibly light d/s scene involving a confession booth or something and keradin comes within 2 minutes and then hits lapin with the old "if by my life or death i can protect you i shall". and lapin is like. um ok. thats nice. your time is up tho do u want a warm wet towel and a glass of water. ok. cool (<- his ass is clocking out immediately)

keradin immediately goes home and books another time slot precisely one month to the hour after the last one. during that month he goes back to work, is assigned to do some donkey work noone else wanna do on some fraud investigation around some local failing businesses, replaces his windowsill plant again, spends marginally less time on The App and somehow manages to look his pastor in the eye. he doesnt tell his therapist about the experience but they do ask how the consent workshop went and keradin lies and said it was good it was interesting and they ask like is that it so he badly paraphrases something lapin said about boundaries to get them off his back. they give him a flyer for the next one and keradin still doesnt go.

the month passes and he goes back and has another epic gay sex moment with father candi. and it becomes a regular occurance. every month, on the dot, like clockwork. for a while keradin is fucking crushed under the pressure of trying to come up with a non-gaysex reason for why he has to leave work before 7pm for once every month on the exact same day but nobody actually cares enough to ask him. and hes relaxed. hes not on The App. his windowsill plant lives for 2 months this time. so its just. like. good. its just a good situation.

...maybe too good.

[EXTREMELY LOUD BULBIAN GUILT SFX]

lapin, largely unaware of this, thinks the whole thing is pretty amusing. he knows that keradin works some stuffy office job and has some major religious hangups but he mostly just wants to be beat up a little and then praised and he always walks out 5gorillion % less stressed than he came in and its like ok. lapin can do that. its literally the least weird thing anyones ever asked him to do in a scene. yeah keradin is hot but mostly lapin wants to put him under a microscope and study him like a bug. its like having a favourite customer. he doesnt really think about it outside of when he knows its coming up its literally not that deep.

besides, he has other things to worry about like more pressingly: that amethar is being investigated by the IRS for being bad at running a business and if he goes to prison then theres no way theo will let him keep staying at his flat (the novelty of playing along with theos "weird gay thing" suspicions wore off, like, so fucking quick). he could go stay with his old scene partner "sugar plum mommy" but her whole place looks like serial experiments lain and he will not be able to grade papers over the sound of her bumping grindcore out a subwoofer she stole from a nightclub 4 years ago for 13 hours straight while she joshua citarellas the target audience for europa universalis into getting gayer than they already were.

meanwhile keradin literally cannot stop thinking about hot gay sex gay religious old man sex in your area click here right now and he feels crazy wazy and conflicted and awful about it and on the verge of getting psychosexually obsessed again. he decides to bring it up with his therapist finally because what are they gonna do? court mandate that he gets More Therapy? they end up being like ok yknow what would be really good for this actually is if you Went to the consent workshop ive been telling you about all this time. it would definitely help. its at the library its free. theres one in 30 minutes. ill drive you there (maybe not precisely).

either way. keradin goes. and guess whose fucking running it.

keradin stays but sits in the back and only feels slightly awkward but for once its like. no this is. it would be a good thing if father candi saw that i was here. i am listening and learning.

and he sits there.

in the back of the library.

set out like a lecture hall.

listening and learning.

and it slowly dawns on him exactly why "father candi" seemed so familiar.

[hhhhhhgggguuu]

been a minute. shit hit the fan there for a second. but it’s a little better now. idk. maybe it’s bc it’s the end of shark week. maybe it’s because i fill my time with work that when i stop i have to actually think of my own feelings. i’m spending my entire life running from my feelings and it’s not a good thing. whether i mask it with weed, or work, or alcohol. they’re always there when i get back. how come i feel like life is just passing me by? how come i feel so far ahead yet so far behind? i’ll be a little baby and say it, how come things can’t work out the way i want them to? how come tik tok can always tell im sad before i even can? how come i hate sleeping alone? work is treating me well, but im not treating moose well. he deserves someone who doesn’t work as much. he deserves someone who takes him on walks. don’t get me wrong i play with him. but he deserves more. how come in 2 months it’ll have been 2 years and im still constantly thinking about you. how come you want absolutely nothing to do with me. i wasn’t even thinking about tiny as much. i want allie back. now alex. fuck alex. alex is a dick. allie was kind and caring and gentle. i miss allie. i miss giving my friends the time of day. i don’t want to talk to you anymore. it’s giving me stress and i’ve worked so hard to not have stress in my life. i hate this. i hate this feeling. i envision a life bigger and better than where im at. i’m working so hard for it but it still feels so far away. therapy isn’t helping anymore. it’s basically just a conversation with someone who knows nothing about me. i don’t even smoke anymore. i cant remember the last time i smoked. i miss how i felt with it. i hate the way i feel. i wish it would stop. i could be successfully and rich but without you it doesn’t mean anything. i miss you. this sucks. please make it stop.

[a-very-tired-raven]

EEEEEEE so I've been in a writing mood as of late and I needed some help for a writing prompt. One of my best Tumblr friends(@let-love-run-red go check her out!!! She writes amazing garcello fics and headcanons and is a big inspiration for me!!)helped me out! This'll be a lil angsty sorry not sorry lol

•Nothing to lose•

(Trigger warnings!:Mentions of abuse,death,homelessness, multiple past abusive relationships,and bad cigarette habbits!)

You burst out laughing for what seemed to be the 10th time day as your buddy Garcello told yet another joke. "Seriously tho cello! That one was terrible! " He shot you a wink "heh your smiling though." You tried to wipe the smirk off your face. Unsuccessfully. "Am not" you playfully swatted his arm. He just shrugs "Whatever helps you sleep at night kid."

You roll your eyes, "Hey I'm not the one wearing a long sleeved coat and Jeans in the middle of summer" You sent a playful glare. "Your absolutely nuts!" He returns your glare. "Hey at least I'm not the one who's only clothes are T-shirts,shorts and Hoodies! All you ever wear are T-shirts and shorts. Your the crazy one. I don't see how you don't ever get cold"

You smile softy as you see the way he talks with his hands moving everywhere while he rants. I mean.. you do too its just nice to see someone else not pick on you for that. Its... nice to have someone who doesn't judge you for who you are whatsoever. It's been hard,taking care of three siblings all by yourself. Most would shy aways and call you crazy weird,disgusting,freak you've heard it all. Garcello...

Garcello was different.

"Y/n?"

You snap your head up effectively cutting off your somewhat depressing thoughts. "Hm?" You look over. "Are you alright? Ya kinda zoned out on me. I mean I know I can be boring at times but I didn't know I was a snooze fest" Besides his joking banter he has a face full of worry, Beautiful golden eyes scanning your face as if searching for the answer to a murder mystery.

"Nahh your not that boring. Promise. And..yeah I'm fine. Just kinda spaced out y'know?" He nods his head in agreement. You both slow to a stop. He chuckles a bit and turns to you. "Yeah yeah I know, it's just... I recognize that look, Y/N. Believe me I do.. im sorry to be a buzz kill but.. you know you can talk to me. About anything right?" You give that soft and kind smile that melts his heart every rare occasion he gets to see it. You never smile enough..

Sure there's the joking but... genuine smiles,ones that don't cover a dark and rough interior. He knows first hand what that feels like. So.. he tries. He's tries all he can to get you to smile that genuine smile as often as can be. For both your sakes.

"I know garcy. And thank you. Glad to know it still stands." You give him a quick hug that immediately makes his cheeks warm. He's really thankful for the shade his cap gives his face right about now. "I'll see you later alright? And tell Annie I said hey!" "Alrighty will do! And get some rest tonight okay? Cya." You nod a okay and walk inside your apartment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------You stare holes into the ceiling. Past memories flash through your mind. Your mother, and father. You were disgusted to call them that. Helping and raising your siblings. Her...death.. being homeless..heh something both you and garcello share in common. Picking up your smoking habbit.. heh another thing. Meeting him.. These past few months.

Its been hard...but its been good. You have a roof over your head. Your four siblings are okay. You haven't seen your older brother in a while but he gave you a call. You have food, water,and.. Garcello and Annie. A smile works its was on your face.

I'm glad I met him' a soft smile works its way onto your face until you realize you thought just garcello and not both him and his sister. YES you love them both- like a family-its not like that- ugh why does thoughts have to be complicated!! You roll over,you have to get to sleep. Garcello told you to! And he said he wanted to meet up for something again. You slowly drift off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Garcello was antsy the whole walk to the park;the place you two agreed to meet. His face was a mad red. He had your favorite flowers and your favorite candy! Reeces pieces and snickers. He's never done anything like this before. Confessing he means. Sure he's asked a few chick's out but... Nobody important or someone he cares about, nobody like you. You changed his entire life in just the few months he's knew you.. He hopes you'll say yes. then again.. his hopes are all the way up.. who'd wanna date guy like him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You look up from your phone to see garcello approaching you. He's very...stressed? No... anxious? Yes Anxious for lack of a better work. With his hands behind his back...Hmmm....

"Hey cello, whatcha got there? You got murder on your mind?" You give a teasing smirk. He just immediately freezes. "I-um-uhm. No. I uh got ya somethin' if that's alright?" He very stiffly sits in front of you. He's sweating bullets. Geeze what's got him this worked up.. "Dang cello with how your acting Ida thought you were askin' me out" you give a light chuckle. He freezes completely.

"Heh uh yeah heh...um..here..you go.. I bought these. For you.. Noone else. Heh" He awkwardly places a two boxes of your favorite candy and holds out a large boutique of your favorite flowers. You freeze completely, mouth hanging open in shock."Y/N...I've liked you for a while now.. your so nice and thoughtful...and you understand me. I was maybe hoping you'd go on a date? With me?" His face is cherry red.

What. He can't be serious? Really he can't. Nobody would ever like you that. Yes you love him.. but you can't afford to love him. Caring gets you hurt. And being vulnerable gets you killed mentally as well as physically You've long sense learned this from your past three relationships

"Are you serious?..Garcello... I cant.. I can't accept this.."

Your heart sinks as you watch the hope glittering off his eyes dim

"Of course I am! Y/N I love you..." Your both standing up at this point. Your both shaking.

"And garcello... I know-i know but please-i just cant!"

"At least tell me why? Am I not enough? I thought... maybe you'd understand.." He drops the boutique. He..he knew it..your too good for him...He really does disappoint everyone..

"Garcello I just cant!can't"! You don't notice the tears spilling down your face at this point.

"But why! I love you! I really do! You mean so much to me!" You take a step back.

"Just stop! don't do that to me Garcello! Dont give me hope! Never ever give me something I want, something I want as bad as you!"

"Why" he's pleading with you so hard..please...just tell him..

"BECAUSE THEN I HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE!" You hadn't ment to scream. Your fists are clenched and eyes shut tight, you feel as if you might collapse at any moment. Garcello's stunned into silence. "And then I'll be open to get hurt... and I just.." You let out a broken sob. "I'm just so tired of being hurt" you don't move as he engulfs you into a hug.

"And as much as I love you too.. I can't risk being vulnerable again... raising 3 siblings and protecting them so at least they can have a good childhood while you haven't even had on yourself..." You don't notice tears of his own dropping on your shirt. "Being backstabbed and left broken with Noone to fix you...I just can't do it again..." He let's out a broken whisper. "I know Y/N.. I know more than you ever will."

Your just left there hugging in silence. You've decided. You can talk it out because as you were too blind by fear. Fear of being hurt again... he's just like you,two broken puzzle pieces that fit together.

Hope yall like it! Promt idea goes to @let-love-run-red ! Go follow and check her out!

I accept any and all constructive criticism!,

[mywritingonlyfans]

*coughs*

okay. thomas angst.

was hit with the idea of thomas having mild ptsd from a previous friendship he had which was really toxic. so, thomas, 19 years old, fresh out of the toxic friendship, stuck at home because of quarantine. thats the topic

so first things first. italy in 2020. wasnt the brightest year, with the country shutting down barely surviving the first wave of the pandemic. its overwhelming, and the inability to go anywhere gets to thomas' head. he cant see his friends, he cant go out for a walk to calm down, hell, he cant even go outside to smoke without someone yelling at him for it.

few weeks before the lockdown, thomas with the help of the band finally managed to escape a toxic friendship. it had been hard, and the realization had barely settled in thomas' head before things got scary. the person had outgrew the initial and seemingly inherent kindess and twisted it into a maladaptive and manipulative behaviour which brought thomas a lot of problems. from an outsiders view, someone easily saw the miriad of back and forth thomas had to do to account for them.

i hc thomas as a person with a lot of empathy. hes empathetic towarss others, and people feel empathy towards him. so, it was no surprise that the friend he had been super close during the time he had left in school, had picked up on those behaviours. the subtlest "im kinda out of it today" had thomas demanding they take some time to hang with him, or to have to themselves to relax, to de stress. it also seemed, no matter the time of day, thomas was available for it. as a person who has grown in a circle of friends that shared every thought, and made sure to validate and comfort the bad ones, he had quickly learnt to prioritize the wellbeing of a friend over his.

not everyone is like this, but they were. and they saw fragile, empathetic and confident thomas, a rising star in the music industry undoubtly, and they wanted to take advantage of his kind nature. The times they went out with thomas on the exuse of uneasyness, the times thomas went over to their house to give them all kinds of objects, from food to literal money thomas had been saving up for one reason or another. every time he went to complain, the answer was "but you prioritise me over it, right? im your friend after all,,". long gone were the dreams of him getting this new guitar he saw with the money he made for himself out of il ballo della vita, or the nights he would have rather spent with the rest of the band at damianos place than going out to a ridiculously small and cramped club because they wanted to go with him

thomas never saw through the harm they caused. he devoted countless of hours, money and love into them. being seriously worried when they text him "im having a bad day" or being super fast to shower them with compliments on their life and achievements, when all he ever got was a dry "thats cool". and it was, for a while, just that.

until somepoint during the summer before covid. somehow, thomas had been finding himself being with them at all times. no breaks at all almost, and when he did have to do other things, the threats dropped faster than a stream of water. thomas picked up their worsening mental state and didnt ever say anything back. all the threats of them being harmful to themselves, to others, to thomas himself. all the insults that flew his way, names that got engraved into his mind and he assumed they were just facts. all those flew over his head. he felt the need to take care of them. they made him feel responsible for their wellbeing, and thomas was slowly neglecting his own. he wasnt sleeping at all, he never got to hang out with the band, or even his own family. his self confidence was dropping, the prideful young rockstar suddenly reduced to few insulting words and barely enough time to even shower.

he felt more demotivated than ever. the burden of carrying someone elses troubles, the consequences of their actions, and assuring them they werent actually a burden and thomas still liked their company- cause otherwise he got sent some very unfortunate pictures that made him sick after some point, captioned "this is your fault. you werent here to stop me. god im so pathetic, you should leave me to die. i must be so annoying, you should leave like everyone else has" all were things thomas had to put up with daily, having to be there in person and make them believe they werent pathetic or stupid, and that thomas saw the good in them and that its a matter of time, youll get better, blah blah blah.

waking up, showering, eating, playing the guitar, meeting friends all the things he did normally, some that he loved were such a chore. always a nagging fear that his friend will do something, and thomas wont be there to stop it. he dreaded every meetup, but hated the consequences of not meeting at all. the insults that would be hurled at him, the pictures, the threats. all things that drove thomas insane.

vic noticed before the others. thomas hasnt had a good riff idea in weeks. he seems to get tired almost instantly. the whole time he is on his phone, or checking it. he seemed so miserable and she knew something was up. he tried to confront thomas. tell him, show him that he hasnt been himself. he keeps hiding behind exuses.

she told ethan. now thomas was intimidated by ethan. not to a worrying degree, but if anyone was to put thomas in his place, it was ethan. she tells him, and he seems just as if not more worried. they try again. and thomas hides again. avoids their gaze, their questions. he tears up all too quickly and ethan doesnt want to pressure him. theres something that didnt work when two subtle forces met an infurianigly stubborn, equally subtle and quiet one. thomas listens, vic knows he listens to ethan, she can see him nod and reply. and the way he seems to leave his phone more often makes relief flutter in her chest.

until, thomas is back from outside, with a friend, close to collapsing from exhaustion. damiano isnt home, and vic thanks whatever god is out there for that. ethan helps thomas shower, and vic makes him food. the younger cant hold himself behind the exuses anymore, it hurt to at this rate. he tells them about the friend. how they acted, how they have been acting. how thomas felt responsible for them, when they started being low. how he was tired, he was scared. he looked like a kicked puppy when vic brought him the food and ethan murmured to her all thomas had managed to say. the bruises around thomas' wrist made more sense when he tells them the friend would almost dislocate his arm at the force with which they kept him there. he talks about the threats, the ones they made on their life, the ones they made on thomas' one. the insults, the constant harrassment. the amounts of money hes spent, the amounts of text he got, each message more unsettling than the ither

vic and ethan are shocked, and even more so when they hear damiano cracking a wooden spoon while he stood at the doorway. he was mad, undoubtly so, but he didnt say anything. he didnt cuss as victoria expected him to. he didnt yell, he didnt react. only silent anger simmering behind his eyes as he helped thomas up, into an engulfing hug that had the youngest crying and heaving into damianos shirt.

they help thomas establish boundaries. he seemed to hold the friend to a high standard, and the band didnt want ti ruin it. maybe it was just the worsening mental state that made the friend into such an ass. thomas sets down firm walls, and vic dami and ethan are right behind him, building it higher. he demands less messages, more free time. he demands they see a professional for help, he promises to leave if they do something else. and as hard as it was, for thomas to abandon the friendship, when the panic attacks late at night started again after a while, when damiano caught him in one, and vic threatened to call the police while ethan stroked up and down his bad for comfort, he had to make it out. and the band helped him, and they were able to go back to their lives. they had a whole album to work on, release and promote.

quarantine hit thomas like a truck. nothing to do, at all ever. he wasnt able to go anywhere. the first week, it was tiring. exhausting. he had done everything to distract himself. the tv was constantly on, even if news played every 10 minutes. he had managed to break, replace, and break the strings on his guitar 2 times already, and he felt odd. this whole thing, this distraction. it reminded him too much of the friend. the constant surrounding of familiar walls and everything in there was something that the friend had used. the way he acted seemed familiar. it awoke painful memories, and he didnt know what to do. his hands itched to unblock their number, text them, apologise. god he had been stupid, and he let them slip out of his life over minor inconveniences.

then his hands stopped shaking. because vic was calling. she talked thomas out of it, told him to work on something not on his phone. to cook, to read, to play. thomas might have taken it too literally. he did just that. all the time. sure, he learnt to make amazing bread, but his hands were spent. sure, he came up with three riffs and was able to help with the album in a week, but his fingers were bleeding all throughout. sure, he had read almost half the bookes in his apartment, but he was tired. he didnt take breaks. the mindset was simple.

wake up. do stuff. eat. sleep.

repeat.

and yet, it took a tired damiano and a fully concerned giorgia to understand why thomas wasnt replying to texts, or ever talk. or why his selfies were shakier than usual, why his fingers had bandaids on them.

and they realise, thomas doesnt know better. he never had the time to grieve his frienship, to recover, to understand why the friendship was hurting him. he was 19, fresh out of a toxic relationship, stuck at home alone, nit knowing what to do to satiate the ever growing itch in his head, the one that checked the blocked messages to make sure nothing new was there. he needed assurance, guidance, giorgia had yelled, and they assured, they guided. they found an escape.route from these unhealthy, around past six months of his life

and there were weird nights, fun mornings. the album was making slow progress and italys cases dropped. the sky seemed to clear for thomas, almost after a year of no sunlight

noooo, i'm picturing him being quiet in the middle of the band, picking at his fingers and shacking legs without talking because he's not feeling good and i wanna cry, he's a 19 yo in pain, why i love it??? i wanna huge him, pat his hair, kiss the tip of his nose and close him forever inside a box ♥️ and i love how we all think ethan is sir dad material!! that's good prompt 🥺 and i wanna kill who's making him feel like that with my 1,59 cm

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

[bittcrblue]

@wanderingbasilisk​ said: no idea if youre still doing this 😂 your ask box is closed. (If youre not, feel free to ignore!) But im curious about what wildemount 68 is? (Is that a reference to smthing? No idea 😂) Also cant not ask about this single dad essek? ??

Hi, first of all, I’m a moron and I’m fixing this as we speak! ^^; 

So, a brief topos of both these AUs, and then I’ll post snips under read-more :)

a) Wildemount 68 is a deeply self-indulgent AU set in a pseudo-20th century Wildemount based on the student revolts of 1968 in France and Germany. (I am French) I think that it’s a really fitting setting both for the quasi- Cold War setting of the Empire and Dynasty after the end of the war (racing for technologies, etc) and because I think that Caleb as a character really fits into the attitude of what is called the Long March to the Institutions, where a subsect of the 1968 student revolutionnaries decided to move into a path of reform and enter positions of government, etc. (Most of those politicians became less and less radical as time went on. There’s a good German teen film called Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei! which deals with this.) I also just think that I want to see the M9 chainsmoking in a Parisian café or lecture hall as they plan their revolt. (In this au, also, Fjord is a theatre major.)

b) Single Dad Essek Au is born out of my urge to always give uppity fictional men a baby to slobber on them and knock them down a peg. In this AU (and in all of my fics, actually) there is a character called Cousin Misphi, who is Essek’s cousin and is on her second lifetime and is overall a bad, but down to earth, influence on him in formative years. In SDEAU, she dies during the first skirmishes of the war - and because Essek traded away the Rosohna beacons, the one nearest the Ashguard Garrison was moved to Rosohna, and Misphi won’t be reconsecuted. Essek, experiencing Guilt and The Consequences of His Actions much earlier than in canon, takes the first step of repentence by taking in her 3yo tiefling daughter, Sokoya (his second cousin, for those following at home). This will tint his interactions with the Nein and change the way that things develop during the Rosohna arc. (This will also make him less suspicious, because the Dynasty sees him harried and stressed and not sleeping and go “ah, yes, the terrible threes”.)

Snippets now!

a)  “Ach, scheisse, I’m running out,” Caleb says, pulling his last cigarette from the case and tapping it against the table. “Does anyone have rolling papers?”

“I’ve got you,” Veth said immediately, digging through her purse. “Do you have tobacco? How are you on money?”

“I’m fine, maman,” he smiles, not rolling his eyes only out of affection.

“Don’t you maman me, I’ve had my tongue in your mouth,” she scolds.

“Come here, Caleb,” Jester interrupts, and Caleb leans in to press his unlit cigarette to the burning cherry of hers, breathes in deep. He has not kissed Jester Lavorre in any way that matters, but this will have to suffice him. He leans back and blows a smoke ring.

“Very cool, dipshit.” Beauregard drops into a chair next to him. “Are we actually here to talk about plans, or is this just going to devolve into an orgy? Because there’s only so many times we can be libertines ‘ironically’.”

“I’m preparing web of fire and catapult tomorrow,” Caleb says. 

“I still think we should use fluffernutter,” Veth grumbles. Jester cheers.

“You are all so intense,” Fjord despairs. “What’s wrong with just throwing a rock, or a bottle? By Melora.”

“She’ll be there, don’t worry,” Caduceus says over his cup of tea. “I’m already anticipating that this will go terribly wrong.”

“Maybe it will only go somewhat wrong? Does that make you feel better?”

“That does not, Yasha, but thank you.”

b) Sokoya is a stubborn child - “You were much worse,” says the Umavi, fondly - who loves to chatter, even if little of what she says is coherent. At least thirty percent of Essek’s day, court notwithstanding, is spent nodding and making affirmative noises, saying “No, indeed?” and “Quite” whenever she pauses in her stories. She rarely forgives the moments when he leaves to answer Sendings, both the mundane and the confidential, and will chase after him to smack at his ankles and knees. “I wasn’t done,” she will whine, and Essek will be struggling not to lash out in agony. 

It takes a few months for her to learn that no, we don’t hit Cousin Esse in the legs, that isn’t acceptable behaviour because he is injured and it hurts. 

“How would you like it if I did this?” Essek asks, and rubs his knuckles into the top of her head roughly, and she shrieks, trying to bite at his forearm with her fangs, which are still baby-sharp. 

“Ow! Ouchie!” she yells. 

“Yes, ouchie,” Essek says sternly. “We don’t hit people. Not only is it painful and rude, it’s also tacky. We’re not middle class. We are a ruling den, and we act like it.” 

Sokoya lashes her tail back and forth, short as it is, and then toddles over to press a kiss against Essek’s shin.

“Better?” she asks, and he can’t help but laugh. 

“I’m not sure what clerical discovery you’ve just made,” Essek says, and picks her up to great cheering. “But it was truly innovative. Groundbreaking stuff. Are you sure you didn’t cast cure wounds?”

“Cured,” she repeats smugly. “Kiss it better and it’s cured.”

“That doesn’t work for anything else, so we’re clear,” Essek says. “If you hurt yourself, come find me or get help.”

“Cured,” she insists, and Essek sighs.

“Let’s call this one a learning experience and move on, shall we?”

[goatpaste]

shroom story? :0

 oh my god this sdgjkh sat in my inbox for days because i didnt have the energy to awnser it right away and then forgot. i think this was prompted because of this ask which still makes me laugh to think about 

anyways shroom story, its sdjkgh a favorite story in my server and new friends

but like ough i was in the summer between middle and highschool so like ?? 14 i think maybe 15, i forget what age most people are round then

but probably 15, old enough that my parents could question me doing any sorta drug in a normal way. like not a concerning way but in a genuine way.

and my parents smoke weed, SO much fucking weed all the fucking time their a nightmare. and i was in the room next to them and often could smell it in my room at night.

but myself, i dont do any sorta drug, just not something iv been able to do or had a desire for ig sorta.

also more context, my mom stopped smoking and this was about the time she started her road to being a crazy vegan person and it started when she watched some video about how refined sugars and salts will give you cancer. so out went all sugar and refined salts in our house for the rest of the time i lived with them.

but once in awhile when i had a few bucks i still went out and got soda and a snack at the gas station, or we’de have sweets like graham crackers or dfjkgh like literally whatever was sweet like some caramel on bread. shit like that. and on weekends id scrounge the cabinets for snacks and hole up in my room and watch shows on my computer in my room.

and so one night i was doing that and idk, as some of you can probably guess, i found two little chocolates wrapped in tin foil. and ME fucking absolute DUMBASS didn’t think anything of it and went mmm choncholate for sammi! and promptly took it to my room along with some other things.

was watching my show, snacking fine until the chocolates. 

let me reiterate, i am a fucking MORON.

i bit into the first one and went, yuck! gross!....... maybe the other one taste better? bit into that one, didnt taste good. went, hmm theres something in there maybe i need to eat around it. not realizing it was like THE WHOLE CHOCOLAte i tried to eat around the center to find it still gross, gave up and threw the chocolates away.

and see i didnt think anything of it because one, im a fucking idiot. and two, my date was terribly lactose intolerant and kept dark chocolate in the house and its very bitter and i didnt like it, and at the time had assumed it was just dark chocolate.

went back to my shows for awhile

annnd then the shrooms kicked in.

and to be clear, im a dumbass and had NO idea what i had just done.

and i start to feel sometHING is wrong with me and like i cant describe how it made me feel except that when it started my brain decided “oh god im being punished for not exercising enough. i dont do enough cardio and im dying RIGHT NOW for it.”

so i went outside to the backyard where my parents work blowing glass and making weed pipes. and im like... mother.. i have to go outside right now i need to run around the block right now

NOT RELIZING HOW INSANE I SOUNDED

and my mom straight up is like... are you on drugs???

and i ofc, somehow still dont click it together and go, “nononinon no no i dont do drugs!”

and return to my room to calm down and watch my show some more before i accept i MAY be high fjkghg

returning to the backyard both my parents are there and i tell them about the chocolate, they honestly think its a lil funny and my dad and is kinda like “ :O!! my fuckin shroom chocolate we were saving that!”

and they start like trying help me, asking me if i wanted to watch a movie in the living room until i come down and everything. and im telling them i want to be alone and go to sleep until  its over because i was miserable and a little stressed because OFC this didnt happen on my terms.

so i return to my room and try to lay down, but i remember like trying to close my eyes and just seeing fucking colors very much like a kaleidoscope. Annoyed i tried to push that from my vision

but when i would attempt to push away colors and find a dark patch in my like brain? there was a small puppet of me just like, doing the jig. And it was shaped like mister smarty pants from between the lions

so i give up on sleeping and grab my blanket and pillow and go to the living room, leaning against the wall singing “im just a kid” on the way.

i asked my parents to put on some disney movie, they told me no because it fuck me up too bad. and then they turned on the lorax.

i remember that movie being SO blurry and i remember looking at my mom and going “this movie is too fucking orange >:(”

the rest of it was mostly fine, i went outside with my mom and ask if she could hear my poop through the window to the bathroom that was connected to the patio. she told me no

my father tried to get me to drink nyquil, i said no and layed on the floor and rolled away from him because i just remembered i really didnt like how it tasted.

then my parents told me i texted my friends “i ate something weird and im starting to feel weird???” sdjkgh and they told me i needed to clear everything up and make sure my friends didnt think i was high. the next day i went to my friends house and told them this exact story, and iv been telling this story since.

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

 I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?”  Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium   (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D:   (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3  its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav    anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Dating Jason Todd would include

-YOU ARE LITTLE PRECIOUS BUNNY I SWEAR YOU BRING OUT THE SOFTEST PART OF THIS BROKEN MAN

-like this dude will literally let you get away with ANYTHING and no one better stop you

-“Hey Jay I just robbed a bank and took a lollipop from that kid next door.”

-“Aww you’re so cute, Doll. Let me put out this cigarette and I’ll help you count the money, okay?”

-“Jay, Dick said I can’t have anymore ice pops!!! I really want some, it’s not fair!!”

-“ He said what?! hOld On iM gEtTinG mY Gun nO OnE TelLs mY lItTle Babe sHe caNt haVe anY iCe popS.”

-wearing his thick leather jackets that smell like cigarettes and expensive scotch 

-Stealing his 1/16263819827 Red hoods and waddling around the house while he’s out on patrol

-“Hey I’m RedHood and I have DaDdY IssUes, prepare to diEee!!! *pew pew*”

-“is that how I sound to you?! Because I don’t *pew pew* I *brrraaatratratatataaa* get it correct Y/N”

-Your tough edgy boyfriend 

-If he has an off day, he’ll take you on a ride on his motorcycle to wherever you want to go. If it’d make you happy, he’d drive to Paris for you if he could.

-You guys usually end up drifting by the waterside, taking in the longing smell of the sea, feeling the subtle warmth of the setting sun and melting into the welcoming breeze

-There’s this really good Sandwich stand by the oceanfront and you guys always get a large one, and share it with a nice cold bottle of Coke. There’s also this really nice private beach that you two have no business being on, you guys would sometimes just sit on one of the lifeguards stands for a while and just enjoy each other 

-“Hey Jay Jay?”

-“What’s up, Love bug?

-“Your eyes have a hint of Aqua Green in them. It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. I just wanted you to know that, that’s all.”

-IN HOME CONCERTS EVERY SATURDAY AND OR FRIDAY. 

-every week you guys make a list of your favorite classics and you build a Spotify playlist and dance around the house screaming *cough* I-i mean singing on the top of yalls lungs.

-weird adventures around the city! Like you guys sometimes go to weird parts of the city to see some weird crap to laugh about later on. 

-“Why is he wearing a tutu and dirty socks-“

-“keep walking baby girl don’t question it.”

-monthly movie nights where you guys watch a movie that has crappy 1 star reviews while eating a bunch of unhealthy garbage all night.

-“but why did he do that?”

-“according to ‘moviecridictbooiiii12’, he’s an uncultured swine who has no Character development, 1/10 trash person totally.”

-If you guys are just sitting in a comfortable silence, just cuddling, he might open up a bit about his childhood or maybe talk a bit about how he’s feeling. But that’s a rare rare occasion he doesn’t like talking much about it.

-This sometimes can cause a bit of a rift because it almost feels as if there’s a lack of trust but you understand he’s been through a whole lot and if it were you, you’d probably be the same way

-he does not like pills in the house but if you have health issues and have to take them, he won't crucify you because of it, but he will monitor you and make sure there is no drug abuse. He wants to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. He doesn't wanna lose you that way.

-He’s a depressed crackhead 

-“Hey Y/N, can you tell me what’s in the drawer in the kitchen. The one next to the sink”

 -“Hmm? There’s nothing in here Jason.”

-“Nothing you say? Just like my relationship with Bruce haha.”

-“Are you okay?”

-“No I am not and neither is my sleep schedule.”

-Oh yeah this Poor boy barely sleeps. Mainly because he’s out on patrol all night and when he finally gets home, he’s being called back out. Or sometimes he’s just so restless thinking about everything he needs to do. Other times he’s just scared to sleep.

-Yeah he’s pretty reluctant to go to sleep. He’s scared to have a bad dream and wake up in a vulnerable state. Or to accidentally wake you up from tossing and turning and wails of agony.

-You lost a lot of hours of sleep already do to comforting him at night so as much as he can function without a nights rest, he’ll do it to spare you

-You hate when he does this because you actually don’t mind comforting him, it makes you feel like he trusts and can rely on you.

-nightmares about the joker or the pit. Cryinggg this boy is really traumatized

-“Shhh, Jason it’ll be alright. I’m right here love.”

-Even though he avoids sleep at all costs, this doesn’t stop him from napping on the recliner or at the kitchen table from time to time.

-He’s a bit self destructive with drinking, smoking, betting himself up, not sleeping or eating properly. You really have to help him and work with him. Be patient and kind pLz.

-He doesn’t like exposing you to the stuff he does, he doesn’t like you seeing all the gore or what not so he doesn’t try to come home bloody much actually. He might stop at dicks house or some other friend’s house to clean up a bit before coming to you

-Todd doesn’t like you to see and be around all that. He wants to keep that life very very separate, he even tries to keep the news off and away from you. Although you already know and if it bothers you it not, it’s not much you can do to stop him.

-The only time you might see him bloody or hurt is when he can’t make it to a friends house and he needs you to patch him up and put him to bed quickly.

-argurmentssss

-Yeah you guys do little annoying antics back and forth but it’s not something super crucial. The only time where it heats up is like if something he’s doing really really bothers you, like his killings or if he does something super reckless. The arguments usually end up with

- “I’m sorry Doll, I’ll do better for you.”

- “Sorry JayBird, I wasn’t being fair” 

-The worst an argument had ever gotten was when he didn’t come home for weeks without telling you he was out on a mission and you were scared out of your mind and ended up cursing him out for scaring you. 

-You didn’t talk to him for about a week and he was a wreck

-“JASON DONT YOU DARE TRY TO KISS ME OR HUG ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE F*CKING DEAD OR WORSE! YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME SOMETHING LIKE I LITERALLY HATE YOU RIGHT NOW I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEEKS JASON I WAS WORRIED SICK-“

-“Hey, it’s okay Y/n- I’m here no-“

-“NO IT'S NOT LITERAL I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, GET AWAY FROM ME.”

-He cannot stand when he breaks your heart or makes you upset like he beats himself up a whole lot. He will apologize to you and do anything to make it up.

-“Stupid Todd? How can you upset the one person that seems to be so patient and loving to you? Ugh you idiot.”

-yeah he literally kissed up to you for months he felt so bad even after you apologized for overreacting and told him he didn’t need to do anything 

-Yeah speaking of kissing up to you, he Buys you anything you want just ask. Looking at that super nice outfit in the mall? Check your room, it’s on your bed with a cute little note. Want an ice cream sundae? Yeah he got extra fudge/caramel for his princess. 

-He just loves you like so so much he doesn’t care what you look like, how big or how skinny, how light or how dark you are. He literally adores you and wants to protect you with all his heart. He’d buy the whole world for you.

-“Jason, literal listen to me. 600 dollars for a charm bracelet I liked in the mall is too much, go return it”

-he’s a bit overprotective with you. Not in a “HEKDJEHEHEHINEEDTOKNOWWHEREYOUAREATALLTIMESSENPAI.”  Kind of way but in a like “Check in every once in a while will ya babe? I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

-He doesn’t let you go outside after a certain time for ANYTHING unless it’s an emergency. It’s too dangerous in Gotham for you to be out scrolling going to a convenience store at 10pm at night. So if you need something from the store he’ll go get it for you or already have it in the house.

-Will 100 throw hands for you

-actually makes sure you can defend yourself and trains you a bit every month to make sure if trouble comes and he’s not there, you can protect yourself

-Intimacy

-Honhonhon. Although what many believe Jason has a high sex drive and wants it a lot or what not. I don’t think it’s 100% true

-I believe that like if his partner wasn’t the type of person who wanted it, or didn’t feel comfortable with it, he’d be okay with it. Like he doesn’t need it to survive although you look hecking good in that outfit today

-I feel like he’d be more kissy and rough touching than the full 100 yards with a more soft/standoffish sexually significant other. 

-Yeah if he gets from a stressful mission or just needs to feel you, he’s gonna wanna kiss and touch on you but if you’re not into all that then like he’d back off because he respects you enough 

-neck kisses and thigh kisses 

-“jaybirdy I wanted to wear that new skirt I got yesterday, now I got your bites all over my legs.”

-he's a totally Dom and that’s on that period boo

-dAdDy KiNk I’m sorry

-His voice somehow becomes super raspy when he’s aroused?!?!

-He will tease you to a point you moan out his name and then turn around and act innocent 

-“let’s watch Frozen! What’s with that face dear? You didn’t think I’d let you have it that easily now did you?”

-*wears anything short*

-”WOOOOO DAMMNNNN Y/NNNNNN LOOKING FOINE TODAY I SEE YOU! CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?!?! YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S DAMN LUCKYYY!”

-Highkey finds it so hot when you sit on his lap like damn it feels so nice to him like you know you’re his and that’s like arousing to him. Will play with the hem of your skirt if your wearing them and your thighs aren’t safe

(Anyways I ain’t trynna make this NSFW but I might do a little something for my 200 follower special)

-On a softer purer note, you guys are like the roasters of the fam, okay! Like no one is safe, especially Damian.

-“Tch- Todd and his little pet.”

-“Dami, didn’t know you’d be here, and apparently your hairline didn’t know either.”

-*Jason, Tim and Dick were dying*

-“Hey you little accident, why you standing like that, you look like you’re bout to enlist in the army.” 

-“shut up Todd, at least I have good posture unlike you.”

-“Hey leave Damian alone, Jason. Dami just has a pole in his ass that makes him stand in first position all the time. It’s a serious condition, y’all need to stop laughing.”

-“Hey Selina! Your Sugar Daddy is in the kitchen, try not to steal anything though because he might cut down your weekly allowance.”

-“Haha Y/N and yours is in the living room getting drunk, careful he might end up with me tonight.”

-“Hmm, a gold digger and a cougar? Wow you got your careers set don’t ya! Ooops you should check in the mirror tho! I think your Botox is drooping.”

-yAlL CAnT sTop ROaStinG PeOpLe anD it’S wOrse When yaLls DruNk

-You’re actually pretty close to The BatFam and like Bruce Adores you he thinks you’re a wonderful influence on Jason like you changed him a lot. Dick sees you as a baby sister and like he literally baby’s you so much it’s sad. Tim and you like to joke around a bit and talk you guys get along decently. Although Damian would NEVER admit it, he actually is kinda fond of you even though you guys insult each other. He might stab someone for like hurting you or something. But watch your back because he might stab you as well.

-going to Bruce’s Galas and charity events like by force. 

-“yYyyYYyyY/NnnNnNnNiEeeeEEee PLEaSE COmeEeeee sO iWOnT DrInk MySelF ouT oF tHeRe!!!”

-“Jason let go of my leg.”

-You don’t actually mind it too much, you’ve made some nice connections and plus it’s a little date night with Jason so Win Win!!

-He actually wears a nice Tux and styles his hair real nicely. Might even be wearing that nice watch Bruce gave him a long time ago on his birthday.

-*sniff sniff* is that Cologne? *sniiiiiiffffffff* *HIGHLY* Expensive cologne he’s wearing?! And *pat pat* HAIR GEL OH BOIIII

-He actually picks out a dress for you to wear. One he’s been dying to see you in. The super expensive one he found while shopping with Dick and Bruce one day.

-If some rich guy try’s flirting with you, it’s over for them. Jealous Todd Mode activated!

-“Doll Face, I found you. Love wandering off don’t you babe? When we get home, I’ll make sure you won’t want to wander off again,” He kisses into your ear hungrily “wHo’s tHiS, Y/N? Is he bothEriNg yOu?” He asks like he didn’t see him there

-“No but Jason you are.“

-“:o”

*later*

-“I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG Y/N!! HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU AND I HAD TO INSERT MY DOMINANCE.”

-“JAY HE WAS A BUSINESSMAN LOOKING TO INDORSE ME AND MY WORK! YOU JUST EMBARRASSED ME AND MADE HIM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!! LITERALLY NOW HE THINKS I HAVE AN OVER POSSESSIVE BOYFRIEND.”

-“oh-“

“YEAH ‘oH’! serIouslY I CanT stAnd yoU.”

-Jason’s drinking and smoking. Let’s just say you’re not the biggest fan of it because of his health, you’re so worried about it. He’s already taking shots and stabs but like the drinking and smoking on top of that? You’re worried about him

-You always voice your concern and he’s never too phased and he’s always like 

-“Don’t worry L/N, I’ll be okay. If this kills me, don’t let Dick take my meat stash in the freezer. Tell him I’m coming back to life in like 3 months give or take and I’ll be hungry for steak.”

-Actual best boyfriend! Like if you’re insecure about anything he’ll make you feel so much better, in every way possible. He makes it so know how much he loves you it’s so sweet and super cute like I’m crying.

-makes weird faces at you randomly and it somehow gets you to laugh?!?! 

-cooks breakfast or dinner for you every once in a while but messes up a few times 

-“sorry y/n I accidentally burnt the cookies I was trying to make for you. I-I can go run and ask Alfred to make some? I know how long you’ve been waiting to have some.”

- Did I mention he’s best boi? Like ugggghhhh he’s so blind to all that superficial mess people get caught up in. You talk down about yourself and he’ll like attack you in love I swear he will. He doesn’t like the self deprecation you do. He completely detests it.

-“Say you’re ugly one more time I’ll slap you with this heart of mine. Don’t make me do it Y/N. I’ll give you so much love, the only thing you’ll be able to say is “Omg I love myself so much like damn I’m so sexy and so fine and my personality? Perfect! thanks  to my totally handsome boyfriend, I see myself so clearly now.”

-You guys Also like spend his birthday with just each other. But it’s really special to him and he always looks forward to the small marble cake you make, that has strawberries on top. He loves when you sit on his lap with your face in the crook of his neck, whispering into his skin ever so gently telling him to ‘make a wish old man’

-something about the birthdays you spend with him, brings him back to a happy place he once felt as a child. Or wanted to feel. He always wishing for the same thing…..to always see you happy

-“Jay I love you.”

-“I love you too Y/N. Remember that okay?”

(Request open)

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: Failure To Launch

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Tensions rise as you try to deal with Ben's secret and keep your fake relationship afloat. But when the script calls for an argument, will too much be said?

Warnings: Still pretty innocent. Some swearing, passing reference to Ben smoking, references to sex but not explicitly so, a discussion of a douchbag ex, a public argument.

Words: 6587

A/N: We’re really in it now folks. 

Originally there was going to be more in this chapter but it was getting too long and kind of undercut what is now the end of the chapter, so I rearranged some stuff. But that just means there’s a whole extra chapter that I didn’t think would be there when I wrote the masterlist lmao. 

Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor  @hannafuckingsucks  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah 

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands​

When you finally found the courage to leave the bathroom Ben was waiting for you in the seat he’d vacated earlier, now under a crocheted throw and staring at his phone. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, smiling softly when he saw you. “Sorry,” you blurted out, dropping onto the end of the couch furthest from where he sat. “No worries,” he laughed, “you ready to keep watching?” “Mmhmm,” “Are you alright? You look a little pale,” “Fine, thanks. Just tired. Might call it quits after this ep.” “You wanna share the blanket?” “Nah, I’m not that cold,” your heart was racing with every word of forced naturality, white noise filling your brain and nervous butterflies filling your stomach. Did he always smile like that when he saw you? What other signs had you missed? You tucked your legs under yourself and pulled your phone out, a barrier between you and he, and a way to keep your hands busy as you tried to focus on the show. It was pointless though. It felt like an age had passed since you began the episode. A dramatic shift in your reality had occurred. You couldn’t remember what had been happening when the pause button was hit let alone understand what was going on now. There just wasn’t space in your head, not when you had to keep reminding yourself to breathe and not look over at Ben. God how you wished you hadn’t gone into the kitchen. Ignorance truly was bliss. You rubbed your thumb over the locked screen of your phone, occasionally unlocking it and opening an app before locking it again, the episode dragging on in the background. Finally, it finished, after much too much time. “Ready for bed or d’you wanna squeeze in one more?” Ben asked, apparently completely at ease. “Definitely time for bed,” you yawned as you stood up, praying Ben wouldn’t stop you. “Alright. I’m gonna stay up a bit longer so if the TVs too loud let me know.” “Night,” “Sleep tight, cuddle bunny.” You could feel Ben’s eyes on you as you headed through the doorway, only barely stopping yourself from sprinting to the safety of your room. You weren’t at all tired, but you turned the light out all the same, stumbling towards your bed by the glow of your phone. As you settled again the pillows you let out a long breath, finally allowing yourself to relax. There was nothing else to do but try to distract yourself, until you felt tired enough. You checked your emails again, but there was nothing new besides some spam for bitcoins. Then you opened youtube, hoping to find some sort of relaxing video that would help you get to sleep. It worked for a while, made you focus on counting your breaths and the meditation that was calmly being spoken. But then it stopped working, thoughts of Ben wriggling back to the forefront of your mind, making a lump form in your throat. A little while later you heard Ben’s footsteps pass by your door as he made his way to his room, the low hum of voices on the TV now quiet. You held your breath as he paused outside your room but his footsteps backtracked, a light flicked off, and then the door to your spare room shut behind him. You didn’t dare move until you were sure he was in bed. But he didn’t stir again, and you fell into a fitful sleep, interrupted by dreams in which you and Ben walked around hand in hand, sometimes blissfully happy, sometimes unable to separate, glued together like a bug caught on flypaper.

The sun had risen by the time you called a time of death on a decent night’s sleep, though it was still what you’d normally consider much too early. It was even too early for Ben who, as you’d come to learn in your months crashing at each other’s places, usually woke before you and enjoyed teasing you about being a teenager for sleeping in so late. You tiptoed to the kitchen and tried not to make too much noise as you brewed yourself a coffee. Maybe it was the new morning bringing clarity or maybe it was delirium from lack of sleep, but you felt you had a better grasp of the situation now. The fact was you didn’t like Ben in that way. And he knew that. So the obvious thing to do was nothing. If you said anything, confessed that you’d overheard him, it’d just end up with both of you feeling embarrassed and you having to put what you both already knew into words that would just hurt Ben more. And that would only add extra stress onto whatever dates and staged relationship moments you’d have to take part in. Because you couldn’t just stop pretending to date. Not when your story was creating buzz for your movie. Not when you were looking for a new job and every scrap of notoriety you could find would help increase your chances of actually landing some of the roles you auditioned for. You’d just have to grin and bear it for a few months. But you supposed that’s what Ben had been doing since who knew how long. With coffee in hand you made your way back to your room, fortifying yourself for what was to come.

It was a few hours before you saw Ben, sleep tousled and searching for caffeine. He took one glance at you and then stepped in close, bringing his hand up to your forehead. You were too stunned by the sudden warmth and how all the air suddenly smelt of him to do more than quietly ask what he was doing. “Checking your temperature. Not like you to beat me out of bed. And you still look kind of pale. Are you sure you feel okay?” “I feel fine Ben.” He withdrew his hand slowly but didn’t move away, his eyes darting to your lips and away again. You stepped back. Ben cleared his throat and turned back to the coffee he was halfway through making, “Are you still okay to give me a lift back to the pub?” “Yeah, of course. Just let me have a shower first.” “Yeah, no rush.” You managed to mostly avoid Ben until you were both in the car. The evidence of his breakfast was loaded into the dishwasher when you got out of the bathroom but he himself was standing on your back patio, looking up at the overcast sky as smoke from his morning cigarette dissipated around him. He waved through the window when he saw you. After that all you had to do was wait for him to brush his teeth and gather up his bag while you flittered from room to room making yourself look busier than you were. Once in the car you started a safe conversation about what you’d be doing for the rest of the day. “I’m going over to a mates house in the afternoon to watch the football but that’s about it. What about you?” “Um, nothing much really. I have a couple of scripts to look over but other than that nothing. I’ll probably just go back to bed though.” “Probably a good idea.” “Do I look that bad? I thought the concealer covered the worst of it.” He shook his head with a smile, “No, you look lovely. Always do. But I heard you tossing and turning a bit last night, didn’t sound like you got much sleep.” “Yeah, just had one of those nights,” you tried to wave him off, back to safer waters. “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yes, I promise I’m okay,” when Ben didn’t stop looking concerned you added, “Just had some weird dreams, that’s all.” “You should’ve come hopped into bed with me. Nothing like a boyfriend to scare off weird dreams.” You forced yourself to laugh along, “Not sure fake boyfriends work so well. And it really wasn’t that bad.” He shrugged, “The offer stands for next time.” You didn’t know what else to say so you fell quiet. On one hand it was Ben. Ben who’d come to be one of your closest friends, who could make you laugh at the drop of a hat, who geeked out about sports and didn’t mind when you teased him for it. Usually you would have called him a dork and made a joke about how you’d hog the blankets or kick him in your sleep if he was unlucky enough to share a bed with you. But now that didn’t seem right. You didn’t want to lead him on at all. Didn’t want him to read more into your dumb jokes than you meant. So you let the radio fill the silence until Ben thought of a new topic. Thankfully the pub wasn’t far away, and you only had to fill a few more minutes with idle chatter until you arrived. You followed Ben inside and up to the bar where an amused barman handed over the keychain as Ben thanked him profusely. “God I would have been screwed if they hadn’t been there,” he said, relieved, as you stepped back out into the grey street. “Good thing they were there then,” you knew your tone was off, knew you should be standing closer to him in case anyone was looking, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take the step, “Where’re you parked?” “Just around the corner. Thanks for the lift, cuddle bunny,” Ben stepped close enough to pull you into a hug. Your chest tightened as you tried to stay relaxed, throwing your own arms over his shoulders like you normally would have. “Have a good day. Get some rest,” he said, kissing your cheek as he let you go. “I’ll try. Have a good day yourself.” With a wave Ben took off down the street and you got back in your car, driving in the opposite direction. It wasn’t until you were back home in your pyjamas that you realised that if Ben had heard you not sleeping, he mustn't have been sleeping either.

 Filming being over was a blessing, even if it did mean you were unemployed. It at least gave you a reprieve from being around Ben, although, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, it also felt weird to not see him every day. He’d become such a consistent part of your life, even without the whole fake dating thing, that the absence of his almost constant presence made you feel a little off kilter. You hadn’t seen him since he’d stayed the night, too nervous about how to act around him now, but you had exchanged a few texts and he called once to check that you’d caught up on sleep. It was the sort of thing a friend might do, so it didn’t make your stomach do flips the way seeing him in person did. But seeing him was unavoidable, especially after Mary called you to organise the next photo session. She gave you the time and the place and then asked if you had any concerns. You paused, weighing up whether it would be worth it to tell her. Would she tell Peter? Would it get back to Ben? “No, that’s all good. Ben knows?” “Yes, Peter’s talking to him about it. We’ve also been talking about the argument you’ll need to have.” “Oh?” “We’re considering planting someone in the area to record it on their phone. Pictures are good but video is better.” “Okay, that, uh, makes sense, I guess. I s’pose that means we should work out what it’s going to be about.” “That would be useful, Y/N. We’re leaning towards doing it next week.” “That soon?” “Yes, that soon. There’s been an upswing in comments online about the relationship potentially being fake and we’d like to try and clamp down on those.” “People are onto us?” “No, no, there’s always a few unbelievers, we were entirely prepared for that. Every Hollywood couple has endured the same sorts of comments at one time or another, no matter how real they were. But there’s been a few more this week than there were before. We hope that if people see you being unhappy with each other, they’ll be less likely to think it’s fake because A, fake relationships should be happy and B, it’ll make you seem more down to earth, relatable. Every relationship has moments when things aren’t the best and your relationship should reflect that to seem natural.” “Okay, so next week we fight. What about this week? Should we still act super happy and loved up?” “Look, there are pros and cons for that. On one hand if you act like everything is perfect now, it’ll take people by surprise when the argument happens which some people will see as normal and some will see as more evidence for it not being real. On the other if people suspect something is happening then the argument story could lose some of its impact when it runs. Either way, if people are talking about you it’s good, so it’s really up to you and Ben how you want to play it. Maybe give him a call and figure it out before you get there.” That made you feel a little better, hopefully any awkwardness or tension you weren’t able to hide would just be seen as a couple going through a small rough patch.

You bit the bullet and rang Ben as soon as Mary hung up, while you could summon the courage. “Hey, Ben, it’s -,” “Y/N!” A few male voices in the background rose up making high pitched oooo noises and someone wolf whistled. “Sorry, I’m just in the middle of kicking these dickhead’s arses in FIFA, gimme a sec,” “Sure thing,” You hung on the line, trying to work out what you were going to say as you listened to the guys trash talking each other and controller buttons being mashed. Eventually there was a cheer from Ben followed by a hearty suck on that, wanker, and then his laughter. “Hey, cuddle bunny,” The teasing voices started buck up again, but they faded as Ben carried the phone into another room. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked as he closed a door behind him. “Have you spoken to Peter yet?” Ben’s voice lowered, “You mean about the shopping photos? Yeah, he called about an hour ago, why?” “Did he mention the fight next week? “Yeah, it came up,” you weren’t sure whether the melancholy tone you heard was in your heard or not, “is that why you called, to work out what we’ll argue about?” “Not really. Um, I was more thinking about the photos this week and the sort of, um, mood they’ll have.” “Mood?” “Well, like, if we’re leading into a fight wouldn’t it make sense to, I don’t know, kind of hint what’s coming?” “I’d just assumed we’d be all over each other like usual.” “Yeah, I mean, not a huge change. We’d still like hold hands or whatever they want us to do but y’know maybe if we just like make things look a bit tense?” “Oh-kay,” there was definitely less of a smile in his voice now than before, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull it off though.” “You’re a good actor Ben, I’m sure you’ll manage,” “I wasn’t fishing for that but thanks. It’s more that I’ve missed hanging out with you as much since filming ended, it’ll be hard to hide how happy I am to see you.” “That’s sweet” You wondered if that was because of how he felt about you or just a change in routine throwing him off that way it had done you, “It has felt kind of odd not seeing you every day.” “So let’s just see how we feel on the day then, before we decide what we’re going to do.” “Ben you know I like to plan more than that,” “We have a plan. Go out. Hold hands while we go shopping or whatever and some guy takes our photos. Go home. That’s a pretty solid plan.” “Not quite what I meant though.” There was a muffled shout and you heard Ben cover the receiver and shout something back. “Sorry, the boys think we’re having phone sex or something,” he laughed. “No, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting, I should let you go.” “It’s okay, they can play without me for a bit,” “No, no, you go back to your game.” “Wait, we didn’t talk about what we’re gonna argue about.” “We can discuss it while we’re shopping. Wouldn’t want them to overhear you anyway. You go have fun beating your friends, I’ll see you in a couple of days.” You hung up before he could say anything, feeling more unsure than when you called.

The day of the photos you spent the trip into London psyching yourself up, reminding yourself that this was just acting, and acting was something you could do blindfolded with one hand tied behind your back. Besides, if some of your discomfort showed, it wouldn’t matter, at least you hoped it wouldn’t. Ben was already at the designated meeting spot when you arrived in the city, a photographer nearby waiting to capture your reunion. Having someone to perform for helped ease the tension that had been weighing on you. You smiled at Ben as you approached, legs feeling unsteady, heart racing. As soon as you were close enough you leaned in to steal a quick kiss and let him brush a strand of hair behind your ear, almost whispering your greetings. With the hellos out of the way he took your hand and began leading you up the street. “So where are you taking me this time, babe?” “Nowhere specific, babe,” he laughed, “They just want us to like, be out and about. I’ve been directed to walk us up this way, maybe pop into a shop or stop for a drink or something.” “Any idea how long it’ll take?” “Why? you got somewhere to be?” “Nah, just curious. I can stay for as long as the job takes.” Ben’s fingers flexed against yours, but you weren’t sure if it was in response to your statement or just a coincidence. Either way it made you worry that you were putting more emphasis than usual on this being work for you. Ben couldn’t suspect that something had changed, he couldn’t know what you knew about him. You corrected yourself by squeezing his hand and smiling up at him. As you walked you tried to treat it like you were filming a scene in a movie, just with less blocking and more improv. You were playing a role, playing the girlfriend, and nothing outside of the scene mattered, though occasionally you couldn’t help wondering what was going through Ben’s head. Was he trying to remind himself it was all manufactured or was he letting himself believe it was real? You shook your head and pulled yourself back into the scene. Together you ambled past shops, stopping to look in the windows of some, actually going into others. Inside a cute secondhand bookstore you’d seen but never been in before, Ben insisted on buying you something. He jokingly showed you a copy of the Kama Sutra, softly assuring you that the inernet would lose its mind if that book was seen in a photo. You shook your head and laughed and he put it back and let you pick something much less suggestive. You tried to tell him you could buy it yourself but he took it from your hands with a, “nuh uh, I spoil my girlfriends,” taking it up to the counter before you could protest. All the same you repaid the favour by pulling him to a halt outside a donut shop and buying the both of you a snack. It had the added bonus of giving you an excuse to drop his hand, needing both to keep from dripping chocolate ganache down your front as you continued walking. Ben wasn’t quite so neat as you managed to be, a spot of raspberry jam smeared across his lip and chin. As soon as you noticed it you pointed it out to him, earning a groan as he tried to wipe clean the wrong part of his face. “No, to the left more. My left, sorry.” “Why don’t you just get it for me?” “Really?” “yeah, c’mon. That’s the sort of cute couple thing they want. It’ll go over well on twitter with everyone who mashes our names together in hashtags.” You couldn’t think of reasonable argument not to so, with a smile you hoped didn’t seem too fake, you swiped your thumb over the patch of jam, hesitating for a second before you brought it to your lips and sucked it clean. A soft blush rose on Ben’s cheeks before your eyes and, seemingly unconsciously, he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. You didn’t want to hear whatever he might possibly say so you quickly turned to set off walking again, “So, our argument next week.” Ben shook his head, “Right, that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s gotta sound believable if there’s going to be a camera.” “Guess that rules out all the which brand of tea is best type arguments,” “Yeah, it should probably be a little more serious than that,” you conceded with a chuckle “Have you ever had a public argument before?” “Umm,” his question distracted you from the tension you’d been fighting since you arrived, “not like a full on fight but there’ve been snippy comments and disagreements. Sometimes they turned into full on fights once we were home. You?” “Once. At her parent’s place during their anniversary party.” “Yikes,” “Yeah, pretty much,” he chuckled, “We found a spare room before we really had it out, but people still heard.” “God that would have been horrible. I think my worst one was when me and my then boyfriend went out for dinner with some other mates. They were new parents and it was like their first night out since the kid was born and they were talking about how wonderful it all was,” “It’s a miracle don’t you know,” You laughed, “So they said. But they were talking about how hard it had been to start having sex again and then my boyfriend said something like it’s hard enough to get Y/N interested and that’s without a kid.” “Jesus,” “It gets worse. He had another dig at me later for not being adventurous enough and I realised it was because I’d said I wasn’t comfortable with something he wanted to try in the bedroom.” “What an arsehole. Please tell me you broke up with him on the spot,” “God I wish. I stayed with him for another two months,” you sighed at the memory, “But what about you though, what happened with the anniversary fight?” “Uh, well, it all happened pretty quickly. One second I was joking about what we’d be like at our anniversary party, the next she was saying she didn’t see us getting married and then we were in her old bedroom tearing into each other. And not in the fun way.” “Oh shit,” “It was for the best. We were way to young anyway but, still, not super fun. I don’t know if that helps us at all, with our fake argument I mean.” “Well, ours both started with small comments, right? So maybe we start with something small, like how you never put the toilet seat down?” you nudged his shoulder. He laughed, “Yeah, makes sense.” “Then we just have to work out what it builds to,” “Uhhh, things couples fight about… moving in together? Sex? Money? Control?” “Not sex. I’m invoking rule one here, sex is off limits. That’s way too close to home.” “Okay, fair enough.” “What about meeting the parents? We’ve apparently been seeing each other for three or so months now, so that’s not an unreasonable thing to argue about.” “Yeah. And we’re already both coping it from our families anyway, so they’d believe it if one of us wanted to do the family meeting thing and the other didn’t.” “Exactly. So, should I be the hesitant one or you?” “Honestly? I normally would have brought a girlfriend home by now. My parents think it’s really weird that I haven’t.” “Okay, so that makes me the hesitant one then.” “You okay with that?” “Yeah, absolutely.” You were slightly relieved at your role, figuring it’d be easier to act averse to the concept than all for it. “Let’s stop in at that café up there, talk though some things we could say. Give them a shot of us feeding each other chips or something.” Ben said with a playful smile, pointing ahead. You nodded, letting him take your hand again, returning the reassuring squeeze he gave you.

You were woken from another dream about Ben by your phone ringing. Groggily you answered. “Y/N, oh my god, is everything okay with Ben?” “Felicity?” you groaned, trying to push away the surprisingly detailed picture of Ben and you and a page from the Kama Sutra that your brain had conjured during the night. “Were you seriously still asleep? It’s midday.” “Shut up, I’m allowed to sleep in. No job, no auditions. And a shit night sleep.” “Was it because of Ben?” “Why would it be because of Ben?” you asked too quickly. “I saw the photos of you and him out yesterday. Is everything okay between you two?” “What photos?” “They’re on the Heat homepage,” You wedged the phone under your ear as you grabbed your laptop from the bedside table, willing your fingers to work a little faster as you found your way to the website. There was a gallery of photos. You and Ben smiling as you greeted each other. Walking hand in hand. Him through a shop window holding up a book and you laughing at it. You licking jam from your thumb. You paused for a second longer on that shot than the others, automatically focusing on Ben’s expression. Did everyone else see the flush on his cheeks and the look in his eyes? “Why would anything be wrong?” you asked, forcing yourself to move to the next photo, “These all look fine. Normal.” “Really? What about those last few?” Rolling your eyes you keep clicking through until you reached one of Ben, hands in his pockets, frowning a little. The next was you, sitting at the café, looking away from Ben. “Are you going to break up with him?” “What? No, definitely not. We were just talking about something kind of serious, that’s all.” “Break up serious?” “God, Felicity, no,” you almost laughed at the irony of her suggestion, “I guarantee you, we’re not breaking up anytime soon.” An idea came to you. If the world was going to see you arguing about meeting his parents then why not get the ball rolling early, “We were talking about meeting each other’s families. We haven’t done it yet.” “Really?” “Yes, really. He wants to but I’m not super keen to rush into that and it was just a kind of serious conversation. Everything is totally fine.” “Well one of the betting apps has odds up for when you’ll break up. And for who’ll actually end it. Odds are on you, by the way.”

Later that day Mary emailed to let you know the photos were working perfectly – the talk of your relationship being fake had died down – and when the argument would happen. They wanted you to go out to dinner and leave before you were finished, looking like you were on the verge of blowing up. Easy enough. You were prepared. You and Ben had hashed out some things you could use in the argument, without going so far as to write a full script. But the mention of the photos made you curious. What exactly were people saying about you now? Could anyone see what was actually going on, how one sided it all really was? In the days before the scheduled argument you found yourself looking at your own photos more and more. When you weren’t spending your time rehearsing for an audition or with your friends you were on twitter, falling down a rabbit hole of comments and reposted photos. If Felicity, or anyone else you knew for that matter, had found out she would have called you a narcissist. So you kept it to yourself. Your guilty pleasure. Seeing the comments about what a cute couple you were made you feel simultaneously pleased and queasy. You got a strange delight from knowing people believed you enough to speculate about your future, to write fanfiction about you. It was hard to pull your eyes away once you started and it definitely didn’t help you stop dreaming about Ben. The trail of reposted photos in your couple name hashtag led to compilations of screenshots of every comment Ben had left on your photos. All of them flirty and playful and beyond sweet. And he meant them. They weren’t just for show for him, they were real. The queasy feeling grew but still you kept scrolling. Day after Day as you killed time, night after night before sleep took you. Photos posted on Instagram by you or people you’d worked with on The Perfect Match, copied and reuploaded to twitter followed by screencaps of yours and Ben’s comments. Photos of the two of you on set, on dates, cuddled up on your couch. Every single one of them commented on by him. Kiss face emojis or cutesy pet names or sincere messages of attraction, love. The more you looked the more uncomfortable you felt about the whole situation. If Ben really did feel something for you beyond just friendship, then your arrangement wasn’t just unfair it was downright heartless. But, as you reminded yourself, he’d chosen it. If he’d had a crush on you and had still gone ahead with the studio’s plan, that was on him. You could hardly be blamed when you’d been working with half the information. And if it had developed afterwards then it was on him to talk to Peter and call the whole thing off if he had to. You huffed out a breath when you saw the first photo he’d posted of the two of you. The last day of filming, snuggled up in bed. My perfect match. As fucking if. You scrolled further down the hashtag and then back to his photo. The queasy feeling was lessening, being replaced with frustration and anger. Why would he have agreed to the arrangement if his crush was real? Why wouldn’t he have come up with some excuse? You’d expected him to say no anyway, it wouldn’t have surprised you or upset you and they’d had made it clear that you had the option to say no. Who was he to indulge his fantasies about you like this? Without telling you. Was he so sadistic as to enjoy torturing himself like that? If you could only ask him why. Ask how long he’d felt like that. But you couldn’t without admitting to eavesdropping and you couldn’t put an end to it anyway. You were stuck. It was enough to make you want to scream. With a long exhale you made your way to the kitchen for a calming cup of tea. As you reached into the cupboard for a mug your fingers brushed against a handle of his, the one you’d painted for him. You pulled it out and examined the lyrics you’d so carefully lettered. Why’d you have to pick that song of all things? Did he take it as encouragement that you’d picked a song with such lovelorn, infatuated lyrics? You had the sudden urge to smash the mug against the bench top. But you refrained, putting it back and grabbing another.

By the time you were getting ready to meet Ben for the dinner before the argument you were fed up with him and the whole arrangement. You couldn’t open a social media app without seeing a comment or a direct message from someone about Ben, if not from the man himself. You had no one you could talk to about it since, aside from Ben, Mary and Peter were the only people who knew your relationship was fake and neither of them was going to put an end to it if Ben wasn’t uncomfortable enough to mention it himself. Once or twice you’d considered messaging Joe, since he apparently knew everything too, but you’d chickened out every time, not sure how to go about it since you’d never met him and he was likely to tell Ben, even if you swore him to secrecy. You’d even considered telling Felicity but, though you trusted her to keep it to herself, she was kind of getting on your nerves too. Whenever you saw or heard from her, her first questions were always about Ben. She was mostly well intentioned, checking that you were happy and asking how things were between you, but sometimes she was closer to straight up gossiping – updating you on the odds given to those betting you’d still be together by the end of the month, slyly telling you what the latest article in Heat implied. And every time you were reminded of the impossible situation you found yourself in you couldn’t help but blame Ben. You wanted to have a crack at him about it, call him out for being a selfish git. But you had a job to do, and you were nothing if not professional. You went over the plan again – a snippy comment about him not putting the toilet seat down, he’d say something about a bad habit of yours, you warning him no to start something, him starting something anyway by suggesting you weren’t as invested since you refused to meet his family. Lots of crossed arms and unhappy glances and then the strained suggestion you leave. You’d walk back to his car in silence and let the photographer get a few shots before you got in and drove away. Easy.

Ben greeted you outside the restaurant with an easy grin and a complement. “Tone it down, Ben, we’re not meant to be too happy tonight.” “Hey, I’m allowed to be happy until we get into it,” he stopped talking as you went inside and found your table, waiting until the waiter had disappeared with your drink orders before he said anything more to you, “You nervous?” “Not really. It’s just acting.” “So having a public spat doesn’t bother you but you almost lost your lunch over our first date?” You looked down at the menu, “That was just because the whole situation was new and I felt weird about going on a date with you.” “Right,” he looked at his menu too. You didn’t care if it had sounded mean or if he took it personally, it was the truth, “Are you nervous?” “A little.” “Any particular reason?” “Uhh,” he drew the sound out as long as he could, “I just get more nervous before argument scenes than love scenes. I don’t know why. They’re harder to make convincing maybe?” He shrugged and made a face like it was a random suggestion pulled from thin air and not an excuse he’d come up with while stalling for time. You put the menu down and tapped your fingers on the table, looking around at the other patrons but barely taking notice of them. Ben glanced at you but only for a second. It was a relief when the waiter returned with your drinks and asked for your orders, though that didn’t help the strained silence that fell once he’d left again. “So, seen Felicity lately?” Ben asked, making a valiant attempt at polite conversation that you weren’t going to rise to. “The other day.” “How is she?” “Fine.” “That’s good. She still subscribed to Heat?” “Unfortunately. Brings you up every time I talk to her.” You huffed. Ben sighed. Even that annoyed you. You bit your tongue to stop from saying something bitchy before the food arrived. There was a plan to stick to. “How’re you going with auditions?” Ben tried again. “Okay I guess.” “Any callbacks?” “Not yet. You?” “A couple,” he shrugged, “You’ll get one soon, I’m sure. You’re too good an actress not to.” “Yeah, maybe.” Ben took a sip of his drink and sighed again, the noise grating on you, “What’s got into you tonight, Y/N?” He leaned forward and dropped his voice so as not to be overheard, “I know we’re meant to argue but you’re obviously not in a good mood anyway. Did something happen?” “Nothing, Ben. Everything’s fucking peachy.” “Doesn’t really sound like it.” “Drop it Ben.” “Fine. Suit yourself.” He leaned back in his chair and took another drink. You took a drink too, staring at the other side of the room. You hoped that the hired paparazzi was in position and getting some good shots.

The food arrived and you forced yourself to eat some of it, though you didn’t feel like it at all. Ben tried again to get you talking, asking how your meal was but you gave him another short answer. You stopped trying to eat and just moved the food around your plate. He took another drink and gave you a concerned look, “Y/N, if this is about something I’ve done, can you please just tell me.” You couldn’t hold back anymore, all thoughts of the plan, of the argument you were meant to be having, gone, “Of course it’s about something you’ve done.” “Then tell me what it is so I can try to change it.” “You can’t change it Ben.” “Not if I don’t know what we’re talking about. Just talk to me. Do I leave the toilet seat up? Do I load the dishwasher wrong?” He was trying to pull you back on track, “Whatever it is I can fix it. I never want to upset you.” His last sentence was said with such sincerity that you felt your chest constrict, “That’s what I’m talking about Ben. It’s too much.” “Babe,” he reached across to grab your hand but you pulled it back out of his reach, “What do you mean?” “I mean this – us, you and me. You’re so earnest and I can’t keep….” “Y/N, don’t.” “I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay Ben. Not when you’re posting on Instagram that we’re a perfect match and you’re calling to check up on me and acting like we’re super fucking serious. You’re clingy and needy and I can’t keep pretending I love you as much as you love me.” You bit your tongue before you could say anything more you shouldn’t and stood up, “I’m sorry. I need some space.” Ben looked completely stunned only managing to blurt your name out once you’re back was to him. With a hand over your mouth you hurried from the restaurant, able to feel the eyes of everyone in the room burning into you. There was a clatter of cutlery as Ben stood up behind you. but you didn’t know if he’d followed. You didn’t turn back.

[jaideite]

How about hcs of bakugo and todoroki(separately) getting body swapped with their s/o?

omg an ask that isn’t one of my friends 🥺

This was very interesting and reminded me of your name hehehe

i had to find a way to make this possible so it’s kind of the same thing basically an accidental quirk thingie ehh—

i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible cause I know some of y’all boys wanna get in on that and i can’t even blame y’all—

im also kind of iffy about how it came out so i hope you enjoy whoever requested 😔

BAKUGOU AND TODOROKI GETTING BODY SWAPPED WITH THEIR S/O

TODOROKI SHOTO

— you guys were going shopping for the dorms

— and you were both in one of the aisles along with this middle aged man and a woman with her kid

— so this little kid was getting pretty annoyed at the gloves on their hands and so when the parent wasn’t looking they just

— yEET

— fREEDOM MOTHAFU—

— anywho now that the kid was free it began to wander around happily

— ya know like a kid

— and you guys were right where the juice was and this little kid was like ‘jUiCE bOX’

— sadly he couldn’t reach it

— but guess who could

— immediately his little hands grab yours and Shoto’s and you both turn to him

— “hey little guys what’s wrong?”

— he simply points, letting go of your hand and to the juice box

— you smile and hand him the carton of juice and he happily squeals while taking it with both hands

— it’s then the mother lets out a panic noise and rushes over to the three of you, quickly shoving the gloves on the little boys hands

— “I’m so sorry I’m so sorry.”

— “There’s nothing to be sorry for ma’am, honestly.”

— “No, it’s not that. I’m sorry, the doctors spoke of his quirk making an appearance soon and I put gloves on just in case. I apologize.”

— and she’s off

— you two shrug it off too and keep going about your day

— the incident in the store long forgotten until you guys wake up

— you don’t really pay attention because come on who does in the morning until you roll from off the soft bed to straight to the floor

— you stop, and get up, running to the bathroom and turning the light on to be met with—

— your boyfriend

— you let out the most unmanly shriek —boy can for someone who’s voice is deep yell loud— and rush out his room to your room

— you constantly pound on the door trying to wake his slow ass up

— your about to swing again when the door is ripped open and there he is in your body looking very confused

— class 1-A is shook as well cause uh

— you look stoic and Shoto’s panicking

— “y/n calm down.”

— “I CANT IM SO MUCH TALLER THAN YOU!”

— “I know but please if you don’t you’ll—“

— you’re so shook at your own body touching you that you turn red and—

— “OH MY GOD HES ON FIRE—“

— y’all are shook

— you keep staring at him while he tries to focus

— every so often you have to try to stop the smoking coming from your left side whenever you look down and remember you’re not in your body

— after school when you guys are along together you kind of just start crying

— and Shoto freaks because he hasn’t cried since he was a little kid and it’s weird seeing himself cry

— so he kind of just

— *pat pat* “it’s oka—”

— “I JUST WANT MY BODY BAAACK!”

—“oh.”

— “IM TIRED OF BUSTING INTO FLAMES OR FREEZING MY FOOD!”

— “oh i remember that.”

— “AND IM TIRED OF SEEING RED AND WHITE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT SOMEONE!”

— “the logical thing would be to brush the hair out the way.”

— *sob* shut up before i punch your pretty face...”

— eventually you cry yourself to sleep and rest Shoto’s head on your shoulder

— he doesn’t want you to fall so he lets you, resting his cheek against your head and closing his eyes following you

— when he opens them he feels his head on your shoulder, he pokes you softly and you startled awake, only to realize

— “IM BACK IN MY OWN BODY!”

— you also cry bc “ill never complain about my boobs again man”

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

— y’all were taking a walk on y’all way back to U.A.

— and some little kid came up to y’all crying

— he’s a little annoyed but the kid can’t be more than five or four so he reluctantly joins you in helping find their parents

— you tell the little boy to take you and bakugou hand and you guys walk along trying to find their parent

— take the kids hand or so god help you—

— “alright jeez”

— and you were trying to calm down the little boy when all of a sudden the mother appeared and scooped him up.

— she kind of panics at seeing you guys hold his hand but you pass it as motherly worry while katsuki just ‘tch’ and looked away

— the mother thanks you and nods and frowns, looking at her sons hands as they walk away and she frowns

— you hear her mumble “what did you do with your gloves?”

— you kind of just shook it off and followed your boyfriend, gripping his sweaty moist hand in yours

— you kind of just slip the little boy into the back of your mind as you drift off to sleep

— when you wake up you realize a couple things

— one, your palms are ridiculously sweaty like no joke wtf

— two, your hair is usually sprawled put everywhere but it’s not

— three, that is not your dresser

— you frown, getting up and moving to the bathroom, stumbling over a weight on the floor.

— what—

— quickly you rush in and hesitantly flick the light switch up, gazing in the mirror to be met with ruby red eyes

— holy shi—

— “WAKE THE FUCK UP DUMBASS! DONT TELL ME YOURE SLEEPING!”

— you’re too shook to comprehend anything. Just the fact that you are in your boyfriends body

— “Y/N WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

— you blink, moving to the door and opening it to see you. . .

—. . .foaming at the mouth

— your classmates are scarred

— you look so terrifying and bakugou

— bitch is he wearing a tie??

— this mf looks clean af

— it’s comical really

— all day you try to calm yourself down

— “Youre doing things to my body I didn’t even know could be done!”

—“Same here fuck face.”

— “I’m wearing your face.”

— you’re so annoyed because your hands get soooo sweaty and at random moments his quirk just pops off

— he gets a kick out of watching you explode your notebook and notes and looking completely flustered, sighing in annoyance

— you get a kick out of him trying to activate your quirk and failing miserably and making himself look like an idiot

— but he laughs when you try to give off an explosion and send yourself flying threw a wall

— don’t even get started on having to use the bathroom

— fucking grape bitch bought it up and it just triggered whatever it is when someone brings it up

— “now that you mention it, I gotta pee.”

— “. . . damn.”

— eventually after a long day of trying to go about this normally, y’all just end up in whoever’s dorm room and the stress of today gets to you

— you start crying

— “Stop crying with my fucking face—“

— “I WANT MY BODY BAAACK!” You sob, clinging onto him

— he tries to pull you off but you use all his muscle to cling onto your body (he regrets being muscular now) and he just—

— “GET THE FUCK OFF ME BITCH BABY!”

— “GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING BODY!”

— “I DONT KNOW HOW YOU FUCK!”

— you just cry and stuff his face in yo chest

— or you stuff his face in yo tits and ignores the way he turns scarlet and thrashes while you cry “i miss my boobs”

— he’s so pissed he just becomes still with rage all while you pass out on top of him, snoring softly

— eventually he follows and when he wakes up his face is still in your chest

— or you know buried in ya boobs

— and he pauses, realizing the situation

— “THANK FUCK IM NOT IN YOUR BITCH ASS BODY ANYMORE! I CANT FUCKING HANDLE BOOBS MAN!”

— “Says you with the tiny ass waist!”

— y’all never complain about yourselves ever again

[donotlookatmyface]

03 /27 - 6 : 29 a.m.

you lost him, its all your fault.

what do you do ? where do i go ? there was so much i still wanted to do. this isnt fair. 

why didn’t i change when i had the chance ? why didnt i listen when he told me that i needed to change ? 

this all feels like a bad dream, just a huge bad dream that i’ll wake up from soon. he’ll be by my side and we’ll be together soon. 

but it just doesnt make sense, you were just happy with him. you guys were just okay everything was okay. you just kissed him, you just had him in your arms and he just made love to you days ago. did he not mean any of it ? how long did he reassure me just to break my heart like this ? i dont want to take it anymore,

i love him and i dont think i can love someone else. i dont want anyone else. there was never anyone else who can make me as happy as he does. 

why doesnt he want to try ? just one month and i swear i’ll be better. I’ll be the best of the best. i dont pick fights on purpose i just word things wrong and say the wrong things at the wrong time without knowing without any thought.

i never thought i would feel the way i do 

i never thought i would feel like i need to cut, not like this. i want to drink i want to smoke i want to get fucked up and i wont because its just not worth it, is it ?

it was dark and i could barely see him when he told me, i had him in my arms minutes ago. i jut wanted to know what was on his mind. 

i wanted to know if he was okay, he told me he was stressed from work and home and us, i told him it was okay and that things will be better. 

at the end of the day he says he loves me, but if i respect him that i’ll let him do this decision. and i do, i really do but i dont want to believe its true. this is just a bad hallucination, this is just a huge joke, this is just a dream, this is not happening to me. 

i love him very much and i feel so much for him what can i do to make the pain go away.

i cant sleep and when i do i wake up crying. there is no escape.

hes sleeping in the living room floor and i patted him and told him i cant sleep. he told me to go to bed, i asked him to come with me that i dont think its okay for him to sleep on the floor, he goes back to sleep.

i tried moving my blanket with me to the living room to sleep next to him, but i got up as soon as i knew he would be mad at me for doing something like that. 

i can sleep and its almost 7 in the morning 

i love him more than i’ve loved anyone else.

would you try to preserve the friendship or relationship ?

did i pick the wrong one when i said i would want to stay with you ? 

i want to be with you, i told him a day doesn’t pass by that i dont think about our future together. he asked me if its what he wanted, i told him i dont know. 

ive imagined us having two kids, moving out to colorado with our cats. in a home thats not big but just comfortable for us. i would be his wife and him my hardworking husband. he would be lenient with the kids, i would be strict and we would just balance out like that. even with having kids, we would still go on dates like we used to when we were younger. going out to places like bowling alleys or red robin. 

everything was going so good.

and now i want to kill myself, but i wont tell him that. this is just a phase and everything will be fine. thats what he told me. that everything will be fine. 

but im not fine 

i dont know when i’ll be fine again

im not going to take the new job, and im not going to work tomorrow

i feel to bad and too sick to do anything 

he didnt kick me out, he told me it was fine if i stayed here. just as long as i didnt try to get back with him.

im so sad and pathetic 

after all ive ever done for him it all feels meaningless

but it can't be, because 

because this is all just a bad dream

[lovemesomesurveys]

Name:  Stephanie.

Country: USA.

Age:  31.

Gender(s): Female

Height:  ~5′4

weight:  70-something lbs.

eye color: Brown.

skin color:  White.

Heritage: I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry dna or 23 and me tests to find out exactly what I am. Relationship status:  Single.

Are you physically healthy?  No.

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?:  No job.

school:  I graduated college back in 2015.

Favs:

Animal:  Dogs and giraffes.

Flower:  I don’t really have one.

Movie:  I have many favorites.

TV show: I have many favorites.

Music:  I like variety.

Band:  One of them will always be Linkin Park.

Video Game: Mario Bros games and Animal Crossing: New Horizon

Gaming Console: Nintendo Switch.

Name:  Alexander. ;)

Person:  My family.

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope.

2: Do you love them? 

3: Are you still in love with an ex? No.

4: How many people have you dated?  Two.

5: Do you think you’ll get married?  No.

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship?  No.

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? I’m single, but no I don’t think I have in the past. But if I didn’t know it then I wouldn’t know?

8: Whats important to you in a relationship?  Communication, trust, understanding, patience.

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them)? I’m singleeee. 

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I personally don’t think so.

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have?  Zero.

2: What type of friend are you?  Not a good one anymore.

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah. My former best friend and I were friends for almost 15 years.

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none?  One, my mom. 

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why?  Yes.

6: Do you get along with family?  Yes.

7: Do you have a family member you hate?  No.

8: Does your family accept who you are?  Yes.

9: Are you an only child or have siblings?  I have 2 brothers. 

10: Do you have parents that still live together? Yes.

School:

1:What grade are you in? I’m not.

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)?  Neither, like I said I graduated college back in 2015.

3: Whats your favorite class?  English was always my favorite. In college I enjoyed most of my psych classes.

4: Do you have a fav school year?  Elementary school years.

5: Are you a good student?  I was, yeah.

6: Do you think homework is good or bad?  I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad. I mean, I get seeing if you’re understanding then material and whatnot and applying it. I guess it depends on the amount assigned and what type of assignment it is. 

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills?  Yes.

8: Is your GPA high or low?  It was high.

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener?  I was definitely a listener. I haaaaated classes that made class discussion apart of your grade.

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs)? I was in clubs in high school and the psych club in college, even serving as a board member.

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight?  I definitely need to put on some weight.

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1)  No. I remember being scared about getting it and that whole thing wasn’t even on the level of covid. 

3: Do you like to go to the doctors?  Nooo. I’ve had more than my share of doctor appointments of all different kinds all throughout my life. They still make me anxious and stressed out, they’re definitely not something I find enjoyable.

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work?  I remember getting sick once in kindergarten and having to rush outside to the trash can.

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yes, I’ve experienced that several times.

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate actually doing it, but afterwards I usually do feel better. There are times where it gets to the point where I wish I would just do it already and get it over with cause I know it’d help me feel better. That’s when I’m really not feeling well.

7: Have you ever coughed up blood?  No.

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yes.

9: Do you lie to your doctor?  I downplay some things or not share certain things, admittedly. :X

10: Have you ever taken too much advils?  No. That would make me sick.

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness?  Yes.

2: Do you take anti-depressants? No.

3: Are you mentally stable?  Uhhh.

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? Yes.

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe.

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? I don’t see an issue with researching yourself and thinking you may have something, but it’s important to take that information to a doctor. However, sadly I know that not everyone is able to do that. And I also have a problem with doing that myself, which I think can cause unnecessary stress. I also think people tend to throw around labels and say they have something when they don’t. Gah, it’s a slippery slope.

7: Should we give more money to mental health research?  Yes, absolutely.

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders?  I think many can learn to better manage some of them, but I feel like they’re always going to be there. 

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders)? I don’t know and I’m probably horrible for saying that. I have my mental disorders and I know it can be a lot for people to be around and handle. I just... I don’t know if I’d be able to be there for them in a way they might need ya know? I lack the experience. I can’t say no for certain. I think it would just really depend on the situation and if I learned more about it. 

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yes.

SEX

1: Virgin?  Yes.

2: what age did you lose it? 3: Did you take sex ed? 6th grade, middle school, and a health and psych class my freshman year in high school.

4: Does size matter?

5: Whats your favorite poistions?

6: Does virginity exist? I believe so. I know some feel it’s not a real thing or a social construct, but to me it’s a thing. It’s someone who hasn’t had sex. When you have sex, you’re said to have lost your virginity and to me that just means in the very literal sense that you’re not a virgin anymore. I’m not referring to it as something deeper. Although, it can be for some people. And while I don’t think it’s like losing some part of yourself or something life altering, I personally feel like I would feel a change in some way. I also want to add that it’s something I want “lose” or share with someone special. I don’t know, man. I’m sure I’m not explaining it well. It’s just a personal thing.

7: Do you think sex is overated?  I wouldn’t know.

8: Is making love and fucking different? One just sounds more romantic and slow and passionate and the other sounds rough lol 9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies?  Yeah.

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? If it’s not consensual or your choice then you can choose not to count it is how I see it. Like yes, technically they’ve had sex, but something so horrific and traumatic doesn’t count. Losing their virginity should be done their way, with someone they want to share that with. In the situation they were raped, they’re allowed to take their power and control back and count it when they do so with someone they want to do, consensually. 

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde [x]Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color <<< It’s a mix of my natural color and red because I haven’t dyed it since February.

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [] Average [x]Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : [x]Hair []Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these.  <<< Italicized because I only like my hair when it’s been dyed and my roots aren’t showing haha... unlike now.

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes [xx]smile [x]teeth [x]skin [x] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large [x]Ugly []Pretty

8: I have a hard time: []Finding something to wear [x]Making Friends [x] making food [x]staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed []Looking for a job

10: I love: []the moon []the sun [x]the stars []our galaxy []planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long