#im gonna go take a nap now editing this was a pain

[amamillalatortilla]

I’m curious about the poly sick fic 👀

NSNDND it's. an ace attorney fic i started plotting yesterday like a little crazy girl. im subjecting my little lawyer boy apollo ("polly" like the title of the doc) to some sickies. NWKDK sorry if you misread but also i do wanna write something for the sky trio sometime because 👀

not sure if you're into AA but the fic is set after the sixth game so it's got. well. spoilers for a lot of the games. especially the 6th. so im gonna share a tiny bit that's got no spoilers/spoilers edited out + should be comprehensible even out of context hopefully?????? not sure if enjoyable but (shrug)

i kept the other person vague just so i could share this lmao i didnt realize how much just names can spoil stuff

“How are you feeling?”

A loud sneeze that leaves his ears ringing is the only answer he gets as he walks into the room.

“Still as exaggerated as ever when sick, I see.”

Apollo pouts, actually pouts at this. “You’re a meanie.”

“Well, maybe if you had listened to us when we told you that you seemed sick a few days ago and rested, this wouldn’t have happened,” he points out, earning a groan from the other.

“But I’m so behind on all my work! Taking a midday nap would throw me back another day!” Apollo buries his head in his pillow as he mutters, “Not like I could, anyways, with all the noise they make…”

“I’m sure if you had told them you felt ill, they would have left you alone so you could rest.” He makes a short pause, tilting his head to the side slightly. “…Just like they did when I told then to, just now.”

“Well, it’s not like I can go back and make myself take a nap now, can I?” The sigh he lets out is interrupted by a coughing fit, which in turn makes him hold his head in pain. A migraine on top of the head-rattling coughing and sneezing sounded terrible, if you asked him.

[lunar-fey]

been trying to nap for almost 2 hours but i gues im just not done . so much below cut. mostly incoherent and unspaced.

for one thing im just like. i dont know how to word this but like if your hr....... you should do. that. literally got told i wasnt approved to keep working after i move bc i didnr work all my hours last month but its like ya i have medical problems thwre on file and i EVEN used to get days off w fmla for it and like. few months ago i requested to have my hours lowered so i could miss less work and they were like. no bc you need to start working what you have first like...im asking for a solution to the problem of i cant work this many hours and in order to let me be allowed to work less. first i habe to "prove" i can work more. like that makes sense

and its lime my supervisor has been teying to figure out who exactly handles rhe approval all MONTH and its this new hr lady ive never met before and since his supervisor refused to tell him that its like. you know probably no one bothered to even inform her a little bit abt my entire situation and its just.. why as an hr person would you make that decision without speaking to me first? it is so easy? so easy to fire someone after 6 years who has a clean no violations record and is just very sick? and parently no one even knows if im "fired" or "quit" anyway so idek if i can apply for unemployment i gotta look into it ig

and its like my mom im so pissed at bc i guess she was talking her dr and telling him ant this other dr i saw once who wouldnt do testing just said my pain fake go home. and her dr got pissed on my behalf so cool but literally we wouldnt be here right now if she had taken my health seriously as a child instead fo trying to cure me w home remedies of pouring peroxide steaight into my ear and leaving it for 5 minutes and stuff. ya the sizzling sound means its killing the infection yeah SURE and im gonna be so psychotic whilw im there too bc im like barely. coherent rn but the first time someone screams at me im either gonna deck them or dissociate (bad timeline) or they may even push me into an episode. and its going to be sooo funny bc rhey thonk hallucinating all the time and sometimes be in g delisional is just normal. everyone hears their name being called from a dismbodied voice multiple times a day yanno normal :)

and theres like more but im getting less and less coherent. im just tired.

edition with more coherency: in short i been like on the Verge of breaking down for the last couple months with my only hope being if i could keep my job i could move back out after just a couple months and now i may very well be stuck living with my parents at least until sister graduates high school bc skerples doesnt wanna move in w me while she still has to deal w our parents. which is 2 more years unless she emancipates herself (well she is already getting a job anyway but i can barely support myself let alone a minor is the point and my parents like. own a house and i dont so something tells me the courts wont wanna give me custody of her)

but like im fine. im fine i can take it one day at a time and im FINE im just. tired and angry and. stuff.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Snowed In p6

This gave me such a hard time but I needed this conversation to happen for like 50% of the plot shit down the road, plz forgive me. 

Pairing: Geralt x fem!reader

Warnings: hella awkward convos, pining, self depreciating undertones?, talking about sex? idk yall im tryinna tag these with everything i can think of but if i miss something plz let me know!

Summary: (Last part was pure smut, but for those who skipped, it was basically them justifying a good roll in the hay bc it would help them sleep) The day after some completely pragmatic and not at all monumental sex they’re figuring out where to go from there. Boundaries and such?

__________

part 5 here!

You woke slowly, uncomfortably warm and… sticky? 

As reality came into focus you realized the stickiness was sweat from being plastered to Geralt's bare chest as you slept. You wriggled a little, loosening his hold on your hips so you could scoot back and see his face. He was still fast asleep, hair sticking to his stubble and mouth slightly open. He looked so much more innocent, almost juvenile when he slept. It made you want to protect him, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

Your hand reached up on its own to brush the strands of hair away from his face. When he didn't stir you trailed your first two fingers down his jawline, gently dragging the backs of your knuckles up over his cheekbones. You knew he could wake up at any moment, and it would be uncomfortable to explain why you were staring at him like he alone breathed life into you every day, but you continued tracing the peaks and contours of his face. 

If you let yourself think about it, he technically did. He got you up every morning, did anything you asked to help you, and everything you didn't have the stones to ask. This man made space for you like no one ever had and accepted the mess you brought with you, going so far as to help you sweep it into a manageable pile. 

You swallowed back the lump forming in your throat as you realized just how much of a mess you'd made for yourself this time. You'd fallen in love and set yourself up for nothing but pain.

The snow would melt, you two would join Jaskier on the other side of the pass, things would go back as they were, and you would fall asleep alone. 

You took a slow deep breath in and savored the peace for the last couple of moments you could before your heart would burst. Gently lifting Geralt's arm, you rolled up to sitting as slowly as possible, watching him the whole time. When he still didn't wake, you snatched up your clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom. 

He was still asleep after a towel bath and meticulously braiding your hair, softly snoring now. You couldn't help but feel a little proud of yourself for tiring him out so thoroughly.

Sitting down next to him you squeezed his shoulder, "Geralt. Hey, wake up." 

He grumbled something about it being early and patted the bed where he thought you were supposed to be before his eyes snapped open.

"There he is." You cooed, reluctantly pulling your hand away.

He squinted and furrowed his brow against the morning sun, pushing himself up on one elbow, "You're up. And dressed." 

Now, you knew you were manufacturing the disappointment in his words, but it still hit you just as hard. You sprang to your feet, kicking the contents of your bag back toward the corner with a little more vigor than necessary, "Woke up hungry. C'mon, get up." 

"Alright, alright." He grumbled, rolling over and reaching for his neatly packed bag.

Breakfast was uncomfortable, to say the least. 

Geralt didn't lean his knee against yours and you weren't sure if you missed it or were relieved he spared you the adrenaline rush. Though when he brushed against your arm reaching for the salt and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The neighbors sat across the table from you and one of them winked at you, almost making you choke on your oats. As soon as Geralt was done with breakfast you cleared both your plates and made a beeline for the door. 

You lead the way out to the barn, excited to see the caverns in the snow your fight had left the week before were still uncovered by fresh snow. You fumbled with the latch, not entirely paying attention, so Geralt reached over your shoulder and flicked it open himself. He was so close you felt his breath on your neck and the heat coming off of his chest. Everything in you wanted to lean back into him, but that might be breaking a rule and these rules were becoming ever more nuanced. 

You went about your usual business feeding and examining the horses and were about to leave, but Beau looked so sad and bored. Poor guy hadn't gotten more than a walk up and down the breezeway in a month and you could see the pent up energy in his eyes. You sighed and grabbed hold of his mane, swinging up onto his back and laying back over his haunches while he ate. This felt like a good place to slow down and examine your options with this whole "friends" business. 

"Y/N?" 

Or it would have been. 

"Stall." You answered, not sitting up even when you heard him slide the door open. 

"What're you doing up there?" Geralt's voice had that same confusing, unidentifiable tone he'd used when he'd left you in the bath. 

"He looked so lonely. You don't just spend time with Roach?" You spared him a glance, noting how casually he leaned against the door, arms crossed so that his collar slipped down to show the marks from your nails digging into his skin.

He shrugged, "She gets tired of me." 

Beau walked across the stall to sniff Geralt’s pockets and nudge his hand when he smelled what he was after. You shifted to stay balanced on his back, absolutely no intention of coming down any time soon.

The silence between you that crept on and on was in no way comfortable. You fidgeted while Geralt pet Beau, giving him a treat here and there when he smiled for him. Normally you’d be amused, now you were just angry at yourself.

You swung a leg over Beau’s withers, spinning to sit sideways facing Geralt, “You’re rather quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.”

You shook your head, frantically searching for the words you needed, testing the waters,“I ah… I had a good time last night.”

He quickly glanced at you before focusing back on Beau trying to eat his gloves, “Mhmm... Haven’t slept that well in months.”

There was a beat where you debated leaving it there, but you were never one to quit while you were ahead, “This doesn’t have to be weird, does it? I don’t want things getting tense.”

Geralt finally locked eyes with you, searching your face for something, “No… if you’re uncomfortable-”

“Which I’m not.” You interrupted.

He tilted his head, a softness taking over his face that you rarely saw, “You’re my best friend. As long as you’re okay with it, I am too. It’s just sex, after all.”

You nodded, “Just sex. Yeah. We- heh, we didn't even kiss...”

“Exactly. What are friends for?” Geralt playfully swatted at your boot, giving you a grin. 

What are friends for…

You plastered a smile on your face, changing the subject before the emotions bubbling in your chest boiled over, “Jaskier is gonna kill you when I tell him you said I’m your best friend.”

He moved to stand in front of you, crossing his forearms and resting them on your knees. His touch was calming, grounding you back into reality as he usually did.

He squinted up at you, “That’s if you tell him.”

You patted his hand, “Oh, I’m definitely telling him.” you teased. 

He gripped your wrist and quickly spun to face away from you, pulling you forward and off Beau's back. You squeaked and gripped onto his shoulders when you landed on him. He laughed, giving a little jump to get you higher on his hips and get a hold of your knees. A giggle slipped from your lips, partly due to surprise, but partly because his grip on your knees tickled.

"I'll tell him it was you who dropped the sword on his lute strings." Geralt made his threat halfheartedly, carrying you out of the barn only to have you steer him back to grab your gloves that you'd left on the hay. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, taking your opportunity to hold him close to you as possible, resting your chin on his shoulder. His warmth and his scent lulled you into a state of content as he took his time meandering back to the inn. Just before he reached the door you noticed a fresh snowflake on your elbow. 

"Motherfucker." You shouted, "It's snowing again." 

"Shit! Y/N, you're right in my ear." He tried to turn to look at you but you tucked your head against his neck, hiding almost like a child. 

"Sorry. I forgot…" you whispered, more out of embarrassment than anything.

He hummed, the vibrations permeating your whole body from where you were perched as he yanked the door open and stomped inside. You wiggled, communicating you could once again walk just like a toddler, but he just hoisted you up higher and trudged up the stairs. You bit your lip, hiding a smile on the basic principle of not wanting to feel it, not necessarily because anyone important could see you. 

When you reached your room Geralt rather unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed, sending the two of you bouncing for a bit before he came to rest with his shoulders on your hips. 

"Tired?" You asked, fighting the urge to rake your fingers through his hair.

"Exhausted." He made no effort to get up but rested his hands underneath the outsides of your knees. 

You sighed in agreement and rested your hands on his shoulders, "Post breakfast nap sounds nice."

I can handle this. I know the boundaries. Just don't kiss him. That should be easy enough ...

__________

part 7 here!

gotta edit bc im a scatterbrain and forgot to tag! If you want to be tagged plz let me know! 

@ab-haya @fire-in-her-veinz @cavillhavoc

[evanescentdawn]

(20th June)

Highlights of today’s writing:

—Was planning to take a long break and come to this writing business in the afternoon but it’s only been like three hours maybe, or even less before I’m writing. I read incredible mp100 fics in that time and couldn’t stop thinking, left quite a impact, you see. And anyways, can’t remember what made me choose this wip. And wow. It was certainly something, like. And I HAD to work on something. So. Reigen wip here I came. Very surprised. This is coming along very nicely??? I love it so much. I changed bits and pieces and feel like the piece works so much better now. Since it’s story that doesn’t talk about it self. It unravels and you have to hear, listen carefully to hear what it’s all about. It’s very obvious actually, but never speaks. Only tells. It’s my favourite type of storytelling and I’m so, so very satisfied and HAPPY.

—Ended writing +1380 words all together to the wip! Wow. It’s really absolutely crazy, y’know, looking at how easily i’m writing 1ks now since I had a lot of struggle with that. 

—I started a new aoex wip! Curtesy of the SSS day thing, which was a really good idea. I don’t know if am going to continue with it every week and do every edition but...we’ll see. Anyways. I have a lot of feels about rin & his mom.

—DAMN. I rewrote and edited like all of my Roleswap hsy-centric wip?? like. That wasamazing. And here, I thought it was gonna be a pain, but it was really quick! And all I needed was a just start on it, wow. At the end of it though, it sizzled up all my writing juice. I took a much needed nap afterwards. 

—Read the new WMMAP chapter, got a whiplash of emotions, read Alice’s update to one of my fave ever wmmap fic, opened notes, wrote a bunch of fic ideas AND STARTED ONE. It’s claude and felix centric, gen, and im having the best time of my life. Aaaa just I really, really love them. JUST. I’m having so much to explore the depth of Claude’s feeling, and his dynamic with Felix (which I absolutely adore). It’s a bit canon divergence! Even I still plan in my head for this fic to be inclined with canon, as in: he still meets Diana, and they fell in love, and Athanasia is born, but...things go very, very differently. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS. BEYOUND WORDS. 

—While I am really happy and satisfied with the previous wip I started, it wasn’t enough to curb my urge, so I started another wmmap wip! The next on the list. :D This one is athansia/claude, and I do have find this ship very interesting! Just prefer the platonic more, but wanted to write about it and I am!!! One of the big ‘problems’ I had with this ship is how Claude probably is seeing Diana a lot if they were to get together, and well. I am working through that part, and want to write a dark version of this but this more light-hearted, sweet, and happy. There’s angst obviously but it’s more bittersweet. There is an underlining Claudia that runs through the whole fic. AND YES, I HAVE SO MUCH FEELS ABOUT DIANA. 

—Omg. At this rate im going to start on ALL the idea, and i swear if that happens, I will SCREAM. Anyways so: we’re got Felix but i am hopelessly in love with that boy, and it’s Claude and him again, but focused on more the Felix aspect, and his feeling regarding Claude. Somewhere in it Ijekiel creeps in. Also: disclaimer. It’s not that I think that THIS is how their relationship is. There’s so many ideas I have and this is just. One. Where Felix is bound, and Claude doesn’t realise the depth of them. 

—ANOTHER WIP. This time about my darlings, Athy and Jeanette and their gorgeous, gorgeous development in relationship. Like. You don’t understand how much I love them so, so much. AAAAA. 

—Okayyy, this was just supposed an idea to jot down into notes---it grabbed me as I was writing it down, well. It turned into a fic jhbdss. Anyways it’s about: Diana’s words being relayed to Felix and Lilian. And me, being very emotional about it all. It’s kinda AU.

[charlotte-hepburn]

SURPRISE & HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACE! 

who: charlotte hepburn & jace kingston ( @jace-m-kingston​ ) where: aspen. when: christmas eve. dec 24th. what: it’s jace’s birthday and charlotte gets the call that he can see all of their kids again. when she surprises him, it doesn’t go too well but soon jace sees their children for the first time in over a year all together.  tiggers: smoking and fighting. 

ps, im too lazy to edit it pls forgive me lmao. <3

heyitsvi12/11/2020 it was a snow filled day, it was christmas eve and charlotte spent most of the day out in the snow with the kids until it got too cold or the babies got ready for nap time but even then she sent them up with their nanny so she can stay down with darla. the two were out in town when charlotte's phone started to buzz in her purse. she excused herself from darla as she shopped once she noticed it was jace's officer. "hello? hi, yes, this is charlotte. is jace okay?" she asked out, getting worried as they never called her about anything unless it was serious. "oh - oh my god, really?" she gasped out, her heart started to race. "it's his birthday as well, he's gonna be so happy," gushed out charlotte. when the phone was over, she ran back to darla. "so miss darla love, c'mon we're going to surprise dad for his birthday because i got the call that he can officially see you all again - oh babe," she was quickly met with a weeping teen, wrapping her arms around her. she returned the gesture and kissed her forehead. "i know baby, i know how much you missed him. he missed you so much too, you have no idea." she cooed. once they composed themselves, charlotte had time to change the babies, herself and everyone into comfortable more clothes plus  her thumbs texted him that they were out with the nanny to get some chocolate and the babies were asleep so he could come over for to drop off the presents. ."okay, everyone ready? he should be here any minute." she whispered as she closed the door to the kid's bedroom. when she heard him at the door and went to go answer it. "why isn't my birthday boy? happy birthday baby, come in." she opened the door wider for him to walk in.

ashyytinns12/11/2020 Jace looked at his over packed car and sighed. He’d gotten far to much but he didn’t know that his own kids liked at this point. “What farther doesn’t know what their own kids like?” He rub the back of his head. “The kind who chose chasing a high over them that’s who. You blood prick.” He looked down at his dog next to him and is little sweater. “At least I won’t be alone for another holiday.” He pet his head before closing the trunk of her suv and looking at his phone getting the all clear to come over. “Alright buddy let’s get going.” He bucked Jasper in the front seat before driving off to the women’s house. Once there he grabbed what he could and headed to the door with his dog right at his feet. Her words caught him off guard when she open up. “Oh.....yeah. Guess that is today it’s it.” He shrugged forgetting his own birthday. Jace might be recovering but his self loathing was still very strong. “Thanks. I got a hell of a lot more so just keep the door open. I have to make like 8 trips loading up the car up.” He said setting the gifts down. “Oh!” Jace patted his pockets till he pulled out envelopes, each with a kids name on it. “This is for you. These are gift recipes for everything. I don’t know what they like...or wear, or sizes.....I don’t know anything besides their names and birthdates basically. So your probably gonna have to do a lot of returns so I, uhm....I tried to make things easier on you.” He said putting them in her hand and heading out the door to grab another arm full from the car.

heyitsvi12/11/2020 "yes, it is," mused charlotte, her smile was huge but that's how she always is. sometimes it was hard to tell when anything was up with her, she was always so happy and cheerful. arching her brow, she cocked her head to the side when he handed her the envelopes with the kid's names on it then back up when he said he had more. "babe, how much did you get them?" she asked out with a small giggle before she placed them down and reached out to take his hand. "wait, wait - before you go, i have something for you for your birthday. i promise you're going to love it," she promised and leaned up to kiss his lips gently. "trust me?" she smiled kindly at him. "close your eyes and sit down on the couch." she took his hand and lace them together. "this one present cannot wait," hummed out lottie.

ashyytinns12/11/2020 “Well the car is packed out and I got everything.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Like I said.....I don’t know what they like.” He hated saying that again. He just wanted to get this done with, quickly so he could go home. Although feeling her hard on his, he knew this wasn’t gonna be done with quickly. He kissed her back before letting out a sigh. “Just...just give it to me tomorrow, yeah? I’m gonna see you tomorrow night to exchange Christmas gifts anyway. I wanna get this done with before the kids come home. It can wait, I promise. 24 hours won’t kill you to keep it a surprise a little longer.” He kissed her forehead before slipping his hands out of her to get back to work. Shuffling in more wrapped presents.

heyitsvi12/11/2020 "you know, you could have asked me silly," hummed out lottie with a small smile on her lips. she knew it was hard on him but after tonight everything was slowly going to start to get more easier for him to get to know their children. she also knew how stubborn he was going to get but she knew the kids were going to get impatient. like how he could be sometimes. "jace," she pleaded gently before he slipped his hand out of hers. "your dad is something else," lottie looked at the dog that followed before shaking her head. why talk to the dog when the kids were in the room. "he's out helping santa's elves since he's so busy tonight so we're gonna surprise him right now," she opened the door and picked up one of the twins in her arms and had everyone standing there for him when he came back from bringing him the presents. "surprise!" everyone cheered and the babies just squealed since they couldn't say the word just yet but they clapped. she laughed and bounced felicitie on her hip. "happy birthday!" they cheered out once more.

ashyytinns12/11/2020 Jasper just titled his head at the women before following Jace again. Could he ask? Yeah he could have but what was the point in that? Either was he was showing lack of knowledge of his own kids. To him, either way was a fail. He grabbed arm full presents and walked back inside, but once inside he jumped and felt his heart freeze. Gently he placed the gifts down and turned back around to see all the kids. He looked at them for a moment before his eyes fell on Charlotte with the most painful expression. He didn’t say anything, just turned and left. Slamming the door so hard behind him it shook the wall. Jasper whimpered and scratched at the door as he was left behind

heyitsvi12/11/2020 the sight of his expression was enough for charlotte, her heart fell in her stomach and she knew quickly this might have been the wrong way to break the news but she didn't know this would be the outcome.  hearing the door slam shut, she flinched. "darla, take citie, turn on a movie, i'll be right back," she whispered and handed the smallest twin to her sister and wiped her hands on her pants before she looked back at their confused face. "i'll be right back," she promised them before opening the door and shutting behind her. "jace, please listen to me. i know you're mad with me but please let me explain this to you, don't leave," fretted charlotte while she walked towards him. "i promise, it's okay."

ashyytinns12/11/2020 “Mad?!” He snapped slamming the trunk closed on his truck. “Mad is the understatement of the fucking year. Jasper!!” He called for his dog and put him in the car. Slamming that door closed too. “Merry Christmas, happy birthday...” he mocked in her voice before continuing. “..here our your kids that YOU CANT FUCKING SEE!” Jace yell the last bit and yelled loud. He’s snapped and snapped hard. “I CANT FUCKING SEE THEM AND YOU JUST BRING THEM OUT BECAUSE!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, CHARLOTTE! I’ve called you dumb before but this is dumber then dumb. And you are completely clueless.” He walked over to his side of the car. “Happy birthday, here all the lives you’ve fucked up. Ya know what, Charlotte, I don’t give a flying fuck what your reasoning is for doing that to me but do me a favor and FUCK off.” Jace opened the door and got in. Slamming the door behind him. He light a cigarette as he patted his pockets for the keys that he forgot to look for in his rage

heyitsvi12/11/2020 the blonde followed him out in the aspen cold snow and didn't even bother to bring her jacket as she thought they weren't going to leave the warmth. the pit of her stomach turned and tossed in many directions as he yelled at her. he had no idea but she wasn't even a chance to explain why they were there in the first place. shaking her head, she hated to be yelled at, her eyes started to water slightly but she took a deep breath and went over to the side of the car and opened it. "jace michael kingston, if you would listen to me for five fucking seconds then you would know that i got a call from the office earlier when i was out with darla earlier. you were approved to see them, see every single one of them up there from now on. we don't have to sneak around anymore. you are free to see them any time that you want, they are there, right there for you to hold. i was trying to be nice, i was trying to surprise you with them. i never wanted you to feel this, this is the last thing i ever wanted you to feel ever. you know me. i might be other things but not those. yeah, i should have done this better and i am so sorry to make you feel like this. she let go of the door to wrap her arms over her body. "i promise you, it's okay to see them. this is something i will never fuck around with, not when it comes to our kids. now go see your kids, they've been waiting for you."

ashyytinns12/11/2020 Jace didn’t look over at her. Just stared at the steering wheel, finishing off the cigarette in one inhale before lighting another. “If that was the case the fucking smart thing to do is to fucking say that at the start. Like “Happy Birthday! We got the call for you to see them again. FUCKING ANYTHING! Anything. And how do you know if I was ready?  If I was personally okay to see them? Yeah I miss them and I want to be in their lives, but how on earth would you know if I was comfortable enough of where I am to see them?!” Smoke left his mouth as he spoke and started up the truck. “I’ll have Amelia drop off the rest of their gifts and yours tomorrow if she can. Go back inside...Tell the kids that their father is just another let down.” He was much calmer but there was still in a lot of pain in his words as he reached over to grab the door to pull it close

heyitsvi12/11/2020 "what on earth do you think i was trying to do when you first walked in? i was going to tell you then bring them out," charlotte objecteted while she pushed her hair out of the way. "the surprise i wanted to share was them, they're the most greatest christmas gift that i have in my world. you're right, this a talk that should have been brought up between the two of us and i am sorry. she pointed at a random window from the parking lot, she had no clue if was her hotel room. "jace, i am honestly so sorry about all of this but i'm not going to tell them that. i have never once talked down or bad about you to any of them. i will not start do that on a holiday or any other day," she shook her head before she reached out to stopped the door once more placing her other hand on his. "babe, you can buy all the gifts in the world to make up for lost time with them but nothing is more valuable than actually your presence. but i'm not going to force it, if you're not ready than okay but if you are ready than here." she reached into her back pocket to pull out her extra keycard.(edited) December 12, 2020

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “You should. Sure as shit they are gonna see it and hear it from their own father.” He said sticking the  cigarette in his mouth and sliding out of the car. Scooping Charlotte up in arms and put her in the warm car. He was dressed for the cold unlike her right now. Before closing the door he rolled the window down so they could talk though it. “I know the importance of time with someone. I can’t get back the lost time and there no making it up.” He said leaned back back against the car. Blowing his smoke out. “I can’t get back what I mess. The twins, you say they know me form videos and pictures but it’s different in real life...”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 “you know that i would never, i could never do that to you or them.” charlotte leaned her head against the door before he scooped her up and switched her spots. she was no longer in the freezing cold but now was in the warm car. “thanks,” she hummed out lightly. “you’re right, you can’t get back lost time and you can’t make up anything but now you got the freedom you’ve always wanted with them. they’re right there. this is what you wanted, you wanted them. it’s about them,” she smiled sweetly leaning her head on the side. “babe, i know it’s going to be hard and rough. sure some tears might shed from here and there but pictures and videos can’t compare to their daddy being there. their first words were dada, it’s all i heard. they would yell it back and fort at each other,” she laughed lightly at the memory. “when i pull up pictures, they go ‘daddy.’ once they know it’s really you then it’ll be okay. everything will be okay at the end of the day. jo is more shy one, citie will be all over you, she’s so friendly and loving.” she told him. “i know you’re worried but they’re your kids, they’re not that scary unless they’re having a meltdown over a toy.” she said with a small laugh. “whenever you’re ready, we’re not going anywhere,” she whispered out towards him, resting her head on the window looking over at him with her blue eyes.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “That doesn’t make anything easier. It’s like I’m dead. And pictures are all they have of me.” Out of all the kids, the twins were the ones who hit the hardest. It was their first year of life and he wasn’t there for it at all. First words. First steps. First smile. He wasn’t there for any of. “They don’t scare me. Being a father never scared me or made me worry. It’s more of....They don’t deserve me to be their father. There are amazing kids! All of them. And I, for all of their lives.....just thought of getting high. Fucking Darla, she.....if she doesn’t end up messed up later on in life then it’s a fucking miracle.” He took in a drag from his cigarette. “I know. This is a broken record of a conversation that we’ve had a million times and we’ll have a million times still but I think every time we do you convince me a little more that I’m actually not a complete fuck up....” Jace let out his smoke and looked back at her. “They say recovery is mostly mental and I’m pretty damaged up here.” He put to fingers to his head before looking back at the ground. “When I slammed the door my first thought was to call Amelia and get high...I shouldn’t think that way. Not that she would let me, she’d talk some sense into me probably. Or smack me. Or both.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 “but you’re not dead, you’re right here in the flesh. i’m looking right at you,” cooed our charlotte, staring at him through the rolled down window. the woman always thought about when this day would come and she always made sure that he wasn’t a stranger to them, she wanted to have his face be familiar to them. she knew how babies could get with stranger anxiety and she wanted to make sure it went as smoothly as possible. “they’re our amazing kids. they deserve you, they deserve to get to know the man who helped bring them into this crazy world. darla, miss darla love, she has such a good head on her shoulders. you know that more than anyone. she’s an amazing and smart thirteen year old i ever known.” the woman replied back to him, her eyes kept on him while he spoke out. she let out a small laugh, nodding her head. “i mean, you’re not wrong and i know this ain’t the last time we’re going to have this conversation ever but it’s just who we are. babe, look at me, i love you,” she reached over to touch him gently. “you’re not a fuck up, you never have been.” she reassured him. “it’s okay, i’m right here.” she told him, smiling gently. charlotte stood quiet before speaking out. “it’s second nature to you but you didn’t call her, you aren’t with her right now and i have a feeling that she probably would have done that. but hey, you didn’t, you’re right here and everything is going to be okay. i promise, it’s just one step at a time.” she told him.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “She has a better head then most adults but  feel like that’s a bad sign. Means she had to grow up faster then she should have.” Jace looked back over at her and chuckled. “There’s one thing in this world that I can alway count on and that’s your love for me. It’s always gonna be there.” He took another drag from his cigarette before snubbing it out on the ground. “And you need to stop telling that I’m not a fuck up. Because thats a lie and your just to nice to tell me other wise.” Jace folded his arms in the windowsill and smiled softly at her. “Yes but she’ll still hear about all of this. Best friend and all, we have to hear about each other’s life problems 24/7.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 "you both did, you raised each other since you had her at such a young age. she knows that, she knows you tried your best and you did what you had to do to give her the best life," charlotte told him truthfully while keeping her head leaning against the door. "i'll coming running when you call out my name and it'll always be this way," quoted charlotte from a song that was on cherry bomb's latest album but it was about their relationship. the woman nodded her head, he was right, she was too nice to tell him otherwise but she always saw him in a different light. the woman smiled back at him, moving some of his hair from his face. "oh yeah, ivy and amara are going to hear about this too," she scrunched up her nose at him. "that's what best friends are for, of course," smiled softly at him before pressing a kiss against his lips gently. "sorry for messing up your birthday, jace," she whispered.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 She’s probably the only one who understand.” He tipped his head to the side, chuckling. “Are we gonna start sign our songs to each other now?” Jace hummed softly before taking in a breath. “No, you don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know I know you do. And I can't get inside when you're lost in your pride, but you don't have a thing to prove.” He sung softly before kissing her again. Shaking his head. “S’alright. Forgot it was my birthday away.” He shrugged. “They’ve become less special as the years gone by.” He leaned through the window and grabbed the keys. Turning the car off.

heyitsvi12/12/2020 "she's a great kid, you should be so proud," hummed out before she let a few giggles escape her glossy lips. "i mean, i wouldn't mind living in a glee like world." her smile grew as he started to sing to her, she always looked at him like it was the first time and hearing his voice always took her away. "i love hearing you sing, it's so beautiful to hear." she told him truthfully. "well, now you're with me, each birthday is going to be extra special. i'll bake you a cake, cupcakes, let you unwrap your present at midnight, breakfast in bed, all the works" hummed out charlotte. "your birth is very special to celebrate, jace," she told him before watching him turn off the car. "what's the plan?" she questioned out, leaning back into the seat.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 His eyes rolled and he opened the door. “Yeah I know.....but life isn’t a musical. No matter how hard you try.” Jace smiled and nodded back to the house. “You need to get in back inside.  You’re gonna get sick even tho your in the car.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 charlotte smiled lightly and shrugged her shoulders. "i know but at least we can sing," she winked at him playfully. she looked back to the hotel they were all at and back at him. "i didn't even think about coming out here in the cold," she wrapped her arms around herself before opening the car door to the truck. quickly the blonde made her way towards the front doors of the lobby. "jace, you know where to find us when you're ready. we've been ready. i promise you, the twins are going to love you so much." she hummed before opening the door, feeling the warmth hit her body.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “Who said I wasn’t?” He asked simply looking over her with his hands in his pockets. Snow drifting around them. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I think my temper is shorter now because there nothing in me numbing my feelings. For the good or the bad.” He said. “I’m completely defenseless from you, the world. I’ve never felt like that.” He looked up at the falling snow. “Guess I’m not exactly sure how to react whenever my feelings get to their limits. When they over take and drive every motion I have. I react pretty poorly, I can at least recognize that. So while the voice in my head it telling me to run because I’m not worthy...” he looked back at her. “But then there your voice echoing around. Louder the  anything telling me the opposite.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 charlotte looked over at jace when he started to speak. she closed the doors to the lobby since she didn’t want to the employees anymore of a reason to stare at her and she wrapped her arms around herself. “i know and it’s okay, my love,” she told him truthfully. she did just spring this all on him at once, it could have been planned better but she was so excited for the kids to spend time with him again. “i may not know what’s going on up in your head but i understand, my love,” she hummed out softly. “is that so? well it’s because you’re so much worthy of love and happiness. you are doing everything right, you deserve so much more than you gives yourself credit for,” she grinned at him. charlotte knew this wasn’t possible the last time they were in aspen and she was pregnant with caden. he was a different person then and now. she could see the difference. charlotte held out her hand for him. “come on, i know you love the cold weather but there are some small blue eyes tribe waiting to meet you.” she smiled sweetly at him.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 He looked at her hand for a moment before looking back at his dog. “Jasper! You coming or are you just gonna sit in the cold.” He teased as the dog jumped out of the car and followed behind him as he slipped his hand into hers. “Oh I don’t think you’ve actually met Jasper yet. My therapist said suggested a friend so I adopted him from the shelter. Good emotional support animal since im alone a lot.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 the blonde gazed over to the dog and smiled at him. “we met briefly and i ended up talking to him,” she giggled out before intertwining their fingers together and walking towards the lobby. before reaching out to let the dog sniff her hand and she gently patted his head, giving him small small scratches behind his ear. “he’s so cute, jace, what kind of breed is he? he seems like such a dog boy, right beside you all the time.” she grinned feeling the warmth of the lobby once she walked in. instantly she shivered and shook her head. “the cold is nice but i miss the summer.”

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “Oh ya? He’s a good listener that’s for sure.” The man pet behind his ear. “Australian Shepard mix is all the told me. He’s about 4. As of recent events, kinda one of the best things I’ve done. The house was really quiet before him.” Felling her shiver he pulled her in close. “Meh. I like the cold.”

heyitsvi12/12/2020 “he does seem like one, better than my dogs, the other two don’t care unless i have food in my hands,” she laughed lightly. “aw, i’m in love already. if he goes missing he’s at my house listening to me,” she joked while reaching the elevator door. she wrapped her arms around jace, looking up at him. “i know you do, i remember from the last time we were here. that felt like such a lifetime ago but hey aspen is when i fell in love with you,” she cooed out gently.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “Yeah took me a while to find the right one. I think I met every dog in for shelters before him. I needed some who just....got me.” He said looking down at him happily. Jace’s eye moved back to her for a moment. “Yeah I still don’t know what the defining moment was but..” he shrugged and followed her lead back to the room

heyitsvi12/12/2020 charlotte listened while they talked back towards her hotel room. "dogs are the best little to have around. hatachi really helped me when i was down so i get it," she smiled up at him stepping into the elevator and pressed the floor she was on. "i looked back at you and it just all hit me all once and then i knew, i fell in love," she told him giving his small hand a small squeeze. once they reached the door, she took out her other keycard from her back pocket and looked back to him. "ready? it's about to get loud," she mused out putting the key and the door unlocked from the inside. stepping in, she grinned at the small faces, they were either on their tablets or playing with the toys on the floor. "hello babies!" she cheered out before walking in more and heard babbles of nonsense and asking what had happened from darla. "guess who i have with me? did someone order a daddy?" she giggled while stepping to the side to let jace in.

ashyytinns12/12/2020 “Yeah. Jasper is still in training but it was important to connect right off the bat. That connection needed to be there so he can be trained to help me when I need someone. Like before, when his training is complete he’ll know when to step in when my emotions get out of hand.” He said as they walked to the room he waited for her to open up and let them in. Although at her words he pinned the bridge of his nose. “Never....never ask another human being if they ordered a daddy. There’s so much wrong in that sentence.” Jace slid off his hat and shoved it in his pocket as knelt down. Arms open for Darla and Leo who were throwing themselves at him. For a long time, it was just the three of them and now they we’re together again.

heyitsvi12/12/2020 the blonde nodded her head, she actually never met a servce dog before and she could tell what a difference that jasper had on jace's life. "huh, it's kind of amazing what animals are capable of doing, huh? like i've seen them many times but i know they're doing their job and never go up to once unless they're at our meet and greets. then we're asked if we want too," she chuckled lightly. charlotte let out a laugh at his response to her question. she saluted him. "it's all and good fun," she giggled before making her way to swoop up johannah who instantly wanted to be picked up. felicitie on the other hand was just looking over and looking up at her mother. charlotte bent down to caden and took his hand in hers. "one at a time," lottie grinned down at the boy and kissed jo's cheek. "caden, look who it is, it's daddy," she smiled while the boy who was identical to jace and leo in his facial feautures. "you remember him, he looks just like you," she hummed out while the boy offered a shy wave as he made his way up to the three before him. the twins on the other hand were going to be a bit more different. December 14, 2020

ashyytinns12/14/2020 It wasn’t till his kids were wrapped up in his arms that his eyes started to tear up a bit. He missed them so much. So so much. It been a long time since he had them with him again.  Sniffing he looked up at his youngest son. “Hey buddy. You’ve gotten so big.” He hummed and reached out for him to come closer. Jace blinked back tears a bit and smiled happily. “Mum is right, you really do look like me huh?” He chuckled

heyitsvi12/14/2020 charlotte watched the scenes in front of her, she knew how much he missed the kids. he really did love them, she couldn't help but smile with tears stinging her eyes. it was so beautiful to see, all of their kids and jace reunited together for the first time in over a year. caden was pretty shy and gently - sometimes - but charlotte always made sure that he never forgot jace's face. she knew he had to remember it, he was little but wasn't too little like the twins when jace checked himself into rehab. leo and caden were just like jace, they had his facial features. charlotte walked over to take felicitie's hand in hers then readjust johannah in her arms. she looked at jace with a small smile, she wanted to take their time and not rush everything at once. when he was ready for the twins, she would move them in. for now, she watched as caden took jace's hand and moved in closer. December 22, 2020

ashyytinns12/22/2020 He smiled happily as his son make closer to him. “You’ve got to tell me everything that happened in the past year. All of you.” He hummed before gently pulling the three of them into a group hug. “Like you Miss. superstar! Who let you join a girl band, huh?” He said messing up Darla’s hair before standing under and looking that the twins. “They look just like you, love....”

heyitsvi12/22/2020 "i think we can make that over some hot coco, how does that sound?" hummed out the blonde while she looked over at the four on the floor. she loved the sight of caden remembering and taking to jace so well. charlotte let out a small laugh with darla. charlotte looked down at the one in her arm and the other hold her hand. "you think so? we think they look like you more," lottie said with a small smile before kissing jo's forehead. she moved in closer with the twins. "this is johannah right here," she let go of felicitie's hand and rubbed her sister's back. "say hi to daddy baby," cooed lottie while jo hid her face. "she is the more shy one. she'll come around soon," said charlotte with a small smile before bending down to the other twin and setting jo down but she stood close by. "citie, say hi to your dada, it's him, say hello," she took her hand once more and brought her closer and smiled when she pointed at him with a smile her gummy toothy smile. "give dada hugs?" lottie cooed while rubbing her back and laughed lightly when she just squealed out. "she's happy, i promise you," she chuckled out looking over to jace. "it's his birthday, citie!" she smiled when the toddler opened her mouth into an o. she had no idea what her mother saying but she was excited.

ashyytinns12/22/2020 “Mama let me, but let’s be real. Can you say no to me?” She smiled at her father before hugging his side. Jace’s eyes rolled with tears still in his eyes. Sniffling he looked at the twins. “No. Completely you. I got my mini’s, they are all you.” Shoving his hands in his pockets he watched them. The last thing he wanted was to scare them. They didn’t know him, despite what Lottie had showed or told them. He smiled sadly “Hello gorgeous littles....”

heyitsvi12/22/2020 charlotte couldn't help but giggle and wink at darla. "she knows i couldn't say no but we talked about being a girl group and i promised to help along the way." she nodded her head before looking up at jace's red eyes, her heart breaking at the sight since he missed so much of their lives that he was a stranger to them. it was a heartbreaking sight but now they were going to know him. "say hi, wave, let me see your hand," she hummed and took felicitie's hand and waved at him but she ended up doing it herself. the toddler ended up squealing out again and laughing. charlotte shook her head with a small laugh. "that's dada, see he was hugging sissy and your brothers. he's nice," she kissed citie's nose gently while jo came over on the other side and caused charlotte to smile. "i read up on this, they know that i'm calm and they'll be okay, i promise," she told jace looking up at him from her spot on the floor. "this one," she pointed to the felicitie on her right. "is ready to jump, look at her giving you those eyes," she giggled out while the one year old was smiling up at him. "it's okay baby, see, it's dada." lottie nodded at her. December 24, 2020

ashyytinns12/24/2020 He watched her with the twins, a weak smile on his face as she spoke about them. Giving a half hearted chuckle. “It’s.....it’s fine.” He said softly. “Don’t make them do something they don’t want to.” He said hating every moment of this actually. Because this is his fault. “I don’t want them to start crying or anything. I.....I can’t fix that and don’t want to be the cause of it either.” Jace took a step back from them.

heyitsvi12/24/2020 charlotte’s blue eyes looked up and saw his weak smile. she offered him a kind one and nodded her head. “they’ll do it on their time and when they do, it’s gonna be a wild show,” she assured him with a small giggle before standing up and playing with felicitie’s blonde locks that were up in pigtails. of course, her older sister did their hair. “it’s okay, one step at a time.” she hummed out. “this is a big step and plus it’s your birthday. it’s a big day for everyone in my opinion,” she hummed out, trying to lighten the mood. the blonde brit clapped her hands lightly. “i can go down and get us some cupcakes to celebrate. if you’re okay with that of course,” she looked at jace with a small smile mostly talking to him and her voice low so that the kids couldn’t hear too much. “i can take the girls so it’ll be easier. whatever you wanna do, it’s your day.” December 26, 2020

ashyytinns12/26/2020 “No no. Let’s no make a big deal out of it. I forgot it was my birthday anyway.” He chuckled. “Let’s just get the rest of the presents and maybe just hang out.” He said putting on his face smile. “Maybe hot cocoa and a movie?” Jace suggested rocking on his heels for a moment.

heyitsvi12/26/2020 "if you say soo," sang out lottie casing caden to laugh out. "but your birth is something worth celebrating," she told him, smiling sweetly at him. "i think that's a great idea. what do you guys think?" the woman asked the kids and got a mixture of babbles and "yeah!" her eyes looked back to jace and her smile grew. "it's settled then. hot coco and a movie. let me put on a jacket and i can help with the rest of the presents or i think miss darla will help." she giggled as she watched the teen get on her boots and jacket. "i'll stay here with the babies and get the hot coco going," she nodded her head before picked up johannah in her arms. "off to the kitchen," she sang out once more before playfully spinning around towards the kitchen.

[penny4yourthot]

Broken Stranger- Part 4

Thanks to @ithoughtofthisusername for editing and @red-w00dy for tweaking Chibs accent ❤️

part-1/ part-2 / part-3

Summary: Torri (O/C) needs to escape her life in Seattle because of her abusive husband. When she ends up in Charming things don’t go as planned.

Warnings: domestic violence

I woke up and shifted in the bed, noticing my head was still on Chibs chest. I looked up at him and saw that he was awake, looking at me.

“Mornin’, lass,” he said with a smile on his face.

“Morning, what time is it?” I asked matching his smile.

“9 a.m., ye slept all night. Didnae move an inch,” he laughed.

“Really? That's the first time in a long time that I didn’t wake up with a nightmare,” I looked at his brown eyes, his smile growing even bigger.

“Maybe ye just need someone here tae protect ye,” he joked then bent down and kissed my forehead.

“About last night, im s-,” I suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I jumped off the bed as fast as I could and ran into the bathroom, making it in time for me to empty my stomach contents into the toilet. I felt Chibs hands holding my hair back. It’s been a long time since I’ve drank as much as I did last night. My wrist started throbbing as I grabbed the toilet seat and held onto it for dear life.

“Sorry,” I murmured, my head still in the toilet as I heaved out some more. One of Chibs hands was still holding my hair while he used the other one to wet a washcloth in the sink.

“S’no problem lass.” He dabbed my forehead with the cool washcloth and then handed it to me to wipe my face off. Chibs must have heard me quietly moan out in pain as I took my hand off the toilet seat.

“Yer wris’ bothering ye today?” he questioned. I slowly nodded my head yes and he got off the bathroom floor and opened the medicine cabinet. Reaching in, he grabbed a bottle of Tylenol, then handed me two of the small, white pills.

“Thanks, what time do I go for my x-ray?” I asked as he handed me a glass of water. I quickly took the pills.

“Tara said 11 a.m.,” he replied as he took the glass of water out of my hand. He held his hand out to help me off the bathroom floor.

“Okay, mind if I shower? Im feeling pretty gross from all this,” I said as I gestured towards the toilet, flushed it, and put the lid down.

“Go ahead, I’ll take one after ye dae,” he said as he walked out of the bathroom closing the door gently behind him. I slowly unwrapped my right wrist from the ace bandage and noticed it looked more swollen and bruised today then it did before. Must have done some dumb-ass stuff last night I thought to myself as I started to strip out of my clothes. I turned on the shower and, while waiting for it to get warm, I brushed my teeth. I was desperate to get the taste of stale alcohol and vomit out of my mouth.

I stepped into the shower, the hot water droplets running down my body, soaking into my skin. I shut my eyes and relished the feeling of my muscles relaxing as the water slid down my body. My mind instantly drifted to the events that took place last night. It was a bit foggy but I remember most of it. I reached for the soap and washed my hair as I thought about Chibs saving me last night from that jackass. I scrubbed my hair with my left hand, still lost in my thoughts about the previous night.

I rinsed my hair trying to make sense of how I felt about that kiss with Chibs last night. It was only a kiss but that was still way to fast. I left Mike just four days ago. It  wouldn’t be too hard to move on considering I stopped loving him a couple months after we got married. But still, I hardly knew Chibs. I washed my body, massaging the soap into my skin then rinsed off. Turning the shower off, I reached for a towel and dried myself quickly, the cool air of the bathroom sending a shiver down my spine.

I quickly realized that all my clothes were out in the bedroom, where Gemma had left them yesterday. I wrapped myself tightly in the towel, cracked the bathroom door open, and looked in the room. Chibs looked up from where he was laying on the bed.

“Ummm all my clothes are out there,” I said with an awkward laugh. He chucked at me and then lifted his right arm over his eyes. I quickly darted over to my clothes and grabbed a pair of jeans and a light blue T-shirt, along with whatever bra and panties I could grab first. I turned around and saw Chibs still holding his arm over his eyes, muttering a quick thanks, I ran back into the bathroom. I could hear Chibs laugh after I shut the door.

I quickly got dressed then brushed my hair and put it up into messy bun. I opened the room door and walked over to the bed.

“It’s all yours,” I said as I sat down, referring to the shower. He nodded and made his way over to bathroom and closed the door behind him. I laid back down on the bed, my wet hair causing the pillow to become damp. I grabbed the remote to the TV and turned it on, putting the news. Listening to the voices of the various news reporters, I drifted to sleep. I was hoping a quick nap would get rid of the throbbing headache this hangover was causing me.

I woke up when I heard the bathroom door open, looking at the clock it had only been about fifteen minutes since I laid down.

“Seems I have the same problem ye had lass,” Chibs chuckled as he stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. I took in the sight of his bare chest and was mesmerized by the tattoos that he had. It took me a few seconds to realize I was staring. He walked towards the dresser to grab some clean clothes. He looked at me and winked then let out a laugh, I could feel my cheeks reddening as I quickly looked away. He reached the dresser and grabbed what he needed then made his way back to the bathroom. Oh my god I'm such an idiot, I thought to myself.

A couple minutes later, he came out of the bathroom with a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt on. He walked over and grabbed his kutte that was draped over the back of the desk chair.

“We have a lil’ over a hour till we need tae be at the hospital, are ye hungry? We could grab some breakfast,” he asked as he pulled his kutte on.

“Sure, I could go for some greasy breakfast food, always cures my hangovers,” I replied as I got out of the bed.

“Ye gonna be okay riding on my bike with that gammie wrist?” he asked looking over at me.

“Yeah, I mean, I rode here with it hurt, which, now thinking about it, was probably really dumb,” I said with a chuckle. I walked over to where my clothes were and grabbed my leather jacket. I pulled it on then put on my converse as he put on his black work boots. I grabbed my helmet out of my backpack as we left the room.

We walked out of his room and I followed him towards the exit of the clubhouse. I laughed quietly as I saw multiple men passed out in various places with naked or half naked women knocked out right next to them. Chibs opened the door for me, thanking him, I stepped out as the bright sunlight just about blinded me. I pulled my sunglasses out of my pocket and put them on instantly, my eyes still squinting.

“Not much sun in Seattle, is there?” he asked with a laugh as he, too, grabbed his sunglasses out of the saddle bag of his bike. I pulled on my helmet and handed him his that was hanging on the handlebars.

“Not this bright,” I chuckled, my eyes finally adjusting to the bright light from above.

“Doesnae help that yer hungover,” He said, a shit eating grin spread across his face.

“Shut up,” I sarcastically said as I climbed on the back seat of his bike. He got on in front of me and started up his bike. I looked around feeling for something to hold onto.

“Yer gonnae fall off if ye don’t hold on tae me lass,” He said laughing.

“Sorry, never ridden bitch before,” I giggled as I awkwardly slid my hands around his waist. I heard him chuckle as he shifted shifted into gear and pulled out. I closed my eyes as the warm air brushed across my body. I loved this feeling. It was almost as if you were… free. It was nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about paying attention to driving.

We drove for about five minutes on the small Charming roads until we pulled up to a small diner. He backed the bike up to the curb and shut it off. I hopped off and took my helmet off using my healthy hand to unclip it. He put the kickstand down then got off, grabbed my helmet, and hung it from the handlebars before taking his own off and putting it on the other side. We walked into the diner and sat down at a booth. It was pretty busy for a Friday morning.

A young waitress came up to us with a pot of coffee and filled two cups for us. She handed us the menus and said she would be back shortly to take our orders. I looked over the menu quickly deciding on chocolate chip pancakes and hashbrowns.

“What are you going to get?” I asked.

“Pancakes and hashbrowns,” He replied.

“Me too, looks like we have a lot in common,” I said with a laugh. The waitress came over and took our order before running off to grab something for the older couple at the table next to ours.

“So how long ye been a nurse fer.”

“Two years, I worked in the NICU for the last year. I loved my job. It was the hardest part of leaving Seattle,” I replied trying to pull off a fake smile.

“Tara works with the lil ones over at St. Thomas, she could probably get ye a job over there,” He said with a smile.

“That would be amazing, but I need to get my nursing license transferred from Washington, it's a bunch of paperwork. I'm thinking of changing my name, well at least my last name before I try to transfer my license so my ex can’t find me,” I said looking at my hands. I never kept eye contact with anyone when I was talking about Mike, not wanting to see the look that people gave me.

“We got a lawyer who can help with all that legal shite,” he stated as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, that would be great. So, do you have any family in Charming?” I asked him, not wanting to talk about Mike or changing my name anymore.

“Just my brothers in the club. My daughter and her mother live back in Belfast,” He explained, I could see a hint of sadness in his brown eyes. Instantly feeling bad for bringing that up, I apologized.

“S’ok, so is all yer family in Seattle?”

“Yeah, my parents live there and so does my brother, Tom.”

“Do they know why ye left?” he asked.

“No, I just told them I needed to get away for awhile to figure things out. They were so confused and mad. I left my phone back there so no one could contact me. They love Mike and have known them since he was a kid, our parents are friends. They wouldn't believe me if I told them what really was going on. After high school, I grew apart from my family. I made some crappy decisions and was on drugs, but I was able to clean up and start fresh. Wow i’ve never told anyone that,” I stated. “Sorry, you probably didn't want to know all that, you’re just really easy to talk to.”

“Dinnae apologize Torri, It's no good to keep all that shite bottled up. I want tae get tae know ye better,” he said reaching across the table putting his hand on top of mine, a reassuring smile spreading across his face. The waitress came back with our food, we thanked her and made small talk while eating our breakfast. Chibs paid the bill for our food, which I protested but he insisted.

We walked out of the diner, both put our helmets on, and got on the bike. The ride to the hospital was only about five minutes, everything is so close in this town. Chibs parked the bike and we got off to walk into the hospital. He lead me to Tara’s office and knocked on the door then opened it.

“Tara, this is Torri, she's the one who needs that x-ray.” He turned to me. “I'll wait fer ye downstairs,” he said placing a quick kiss on my forehead before walking out shutting the door behind him.

“Thanks for doing this,” I said as she gestured for me to sit down in one of the chairs on the other side of her desk. I sat down fidgeting with my hands awkwardly.

“No problem, can I see your wrist?” she asked. I held my right arm out to her and she gently unwrapped the bandage that I put on after my shower.

“Chibs said you went down on your bike?” I nodded in response.

“Well it's definitely swollen, and very bruised so lets get that X-ray. I just have to ask before we do; do you have any metal implants from prior surgery or is there any possibility you could be pregnant. I know it’s random but we need to ask everyone because of the radiation from the test.”

I sat there and stared at her for a moment trying to remember when my last period was. It wasn’t unusual for me to miss a period here or there due to stress. But I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had it. I was too caught up in my plan to leave to even think about my period.

“Umm I d-don’t know,” I said my voice shaking with fear. “I can’t really remember the last time I had my period,” I started to ramble, “my breasts are sorta sore but I didn’t think much of it. I puked this morning but I drank a ton last night. Oh My God! I drank! And I smoke. If I’m pregnant my baby is going to have too many toes or fingers and-”

“Hey calm down, its okay don’t get ahead of yourself we don’t even know yet,” Tara said as she placed her hand over mine. “Let’s take a test and see what it says, just please try to relax,” she continued as she reached into her drawer and grabbed a sealed small container handing it to me “the bathroom is right there,” she said pointing to the open door next to the couch.

I slowly got up and walked into the bathroom with the little clear cup held firmly in my shaking hand. Pulling my pants down and sitting on the toilet, I was about to take the test that could possibly change my life forever.

[felix-loves-albert-and-ralb-blog]

Losing My Mind Part Eleven: Jack

all previous chapters are tagged under “losing my mind”

pairings: crack (jackcrutchie for all you nonbelievers), ralbert, spromeo, blush, newsbians, davey/happiness

friendships: crutchie and albert, specs and albert and crutchie, albert and les, specs and crutchie, mush and henry, race and crutchie, specs and katherine

warnings: all previous warnings, racism, violence, blood, self-hatred, burns, abuse, pretty boy used in a derogatory way, swearing, homophobia, panic attacks, a bunch of other horrible shit, uh albert low-key hates himself, ableism, lots of characters have depression, and quite a few have anxiety

editing: nope

pov: jack

You don’t know what happened, do you? Well I’m not surprised. Snyder won’t even let me tell the reader what’s going on! Wait, was I not supposed to say that? Probably not, but whatever.

You think I’m crazy now, don’t you?

You’re probably right.

Talking to myself in my head as if my life were a book that someone is reading.

Anyways, I remember waking up in the basement.

Race was still on the floor in the middle of the room.

When Race woke up I told him about my closet, but he didn’t say much to me.

And then Snyder came back.

“Tell me about the strike and I’ll let you go back upstairs.” He said.

I said no.

So did Race.

Snyder scowled and said he’d give us one more chance.

We refused.

So Snyder tied my wrists together and soaked Race.

I had to watch, helpless, as Snyder landed hit upon hit on my brother.

Race didn’t say anything, just let the hits come.

I tried to move across the room to help him, but my leg and restrained wrists prevented me from doing so.

I hated seeing him in pain like that.

But I think Snyder got bored with Race though, or even just frustrated, because soon he dragged Race away, out of the basement.

And then Snyder came back to deal with me.

My leg hurt a lot.

Snyder stomped on it, kept his boot pressed down on the surely splintered bone until I would say that one word.

I didn’t want to, I really didn’t.

But you don’t get it, I was weak, I was hurt.

“I can do worse.” Snyder growled.

“I ain’t gonna cave.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Or maybe I’ll just go through every one of your newsies until I get what I want. I’m sure that little boy can’t take as much pain as you can, Kelly.”

“No! Don’t!”

“Give me a reason.”

I didn’t have a choice.

“Davey!” I gasped. “He’s the brains!”

The pressure on my leg receded, and I regretted it.

I was put back in my closet and I was forced to listen to the conversation between Davey and Snyder.

Forced to listen as Davey took the beating I gave him.

I’m sick of being stuck.

Tied up in a closet while my brothers are suffering.

It’s been mostly quiet for today, but now I can hear yelling through the door, and I know that can’t be good for me.

“You can’t- you’re not- fine!”

There’s a crash and a swear, and I tense my shoulders, preparing for my closet to open and the next beating to begin.

And the door opens, and I am indeed greeted with a kick to my ribs, but instead of more hits I only get pulled up by my shirt collar and dragged out of the closet.

He can’t be taking me back to the basement, not this soon.

I told him Davey’s name, even if it was a day ago.

No, he’s not taking me to the basement, he just wants me at a better angle to put me in even worse pain.

And even worse pain I get.

I can feel blood dripping down from my nose, splattering across my shirt in shiny red drops, and Snyder’s fists feel like they’re made of fire.

He’s shouting at me, but it’s just the normal stuff I’m used to.

Useless, good for nothing, son of a bitch, bastard, disgusting, the list goes on and on.

I stay still and take the soaking, hoping that he just needs a punching bag to release his anger.

“You’re weak, Sullivan. Can’t even fight back anymore!” Snyder sneers.

“You’re an asshole.” I choke out through the blood.

“Pathetic. Fuckin’ pathetic.”

“At least I have the balls to fight for myself.”

“You’re not even fighting, Sullivan.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Can’t stand to live anything but your same old lie?”

“Let go of me and you’ll see.” I snarl.

“Fine.” Snyder shoots back.

I fall right on my ass, back still against the wall.

I don’t have enough strength in my leg to stand up.

I feel weak, stupid.

Snyder is laughing at me, he thinks this is hilarious.

“I think you need to learn to watch your mouth.”

His boot digs into my ribcage, and I grunt in pain.

Then he lifts me up my by shirt collar and drags me out of his office.

He must be taking me to the basement now, where else could he be taking me?

I’m scared.

I’m scared.

I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared I’m-

“Your fearless leader.”

I’m on the floor of a bunk room, my arms in front of me, trying to catch my fall, and leg sprawled out awkwardly behind me.

Snyder’s voice is dripping with sarcasm, and he’s addressing everyone in the room.

Which room am I in?

Three, with Ten Pin and Grates?

Eight, with Split and Rob?

I push myself up with my forearms and I lift my head to see.

It’s all of my boys.

Every single one of them.

Mush, Finch, Mike, Specs, Elmer, every single one.

I knew Crutchie was here, I knew Race was here, I could assume Albert was here from Snyder’s reference to him, I knew Davey was here because I heard him through the door, but I didn’t know they were all here.

All of my newsies, everyone I swore to protect, everyone that I promised would never be put in this hell.

I failed.

I’m seeing all of them right in front of me.

And they’re all seeing me.

Every broken part.

I think Snyder leaves, because suddenly people are surrounding me.

“Give ‘im some space!” Mush directs.

Davey is here, in front of me, so is Race.

“Where’s Crutchie?”

I shouldn’t have asked that, I really shouldn’t have, but I can’t bring myself to care at this point.

Specs is here now, acting as a temporary crutch for Crutchie.

Crutchie, the only person I want to see for the rest of my life.

“Charlie,” I breathe, not caring who’s around. “I-I’se sorry.” I swallow my original statement, replacing it with a trademark guilty Jack Kelly apology.

“Don’t apologize, ya idiot.” Crutchie says, his voice both hard and soft. Race doesn’t say anything, just reaches forward to untie my wrists.

“He got ya shoulder again.” Specs comments.

“Sure did.”

I don’t want to do this.

I don’t want to pretend everything is fine when it’s clearly not.

“I can set it.”

“Thanks.”

Specs gets me.

He doesn’t talk too much or take too long to say what he’s thinking.

He’s quick to get to the point.

I lay down on my back, and Specs takes my right arm in his hands.

“Mush, grab me a sheet or somethin’.” Specs asks.

Mush nods and steps away.

I draw in a tight gasp of pain as Specs applies pressure to my shoulder and it pops back into place.

Mush hands Specs a sheet, and Specs wraps it tightly around my shoulder.

“Just dislocated, but ya should be careful for a little while.” Specs says matter of factly.

“Can-what the hell can he want this time!”

Loud footsteps again, and it seems impossible that Snyder can be back again after an absence of no more than five minutes.

“Line up.” The order comes as soon as the door slams back open, and the boys surrounding me all scramble into place. Specs helps Crutchie stand, and Mush helps me.

“I ain’t got all day!” Snyder shouts, and we’re suddenly standing in a line, not single file, but spread out so we can all see him and he can see all of us.

Snyder paces back and forth in front of us, scowling at every boy he faces.

He eventually comes to a stop directly in front of Albert, whose eyes are alight with both fear and defiance.

“You. Pretty Boy.”

I clench my fists, ready to do whatever it takes to keep my little brother from getting hurt, but Mush’s hand is clenched firmly on my shoulder, he knows what I’m about to do.

He knows how stupid it is, and I know it too, but I can’t let him take Albert.

“Don’t.” Mush whispers under his breath.

I grit my teeth and let Mush hold me back.

For now.

“What?” Albert asks the man facing him, his tone snarky. “Ow, fuck!”

Snyder has a fistful of Albert’s hair, nearly yanking it from his skull.

“Sir.” Snyder says shortly.

Albert’s teeth are clenched in pain, and I can tell he’s trying to avoid meeting eye contact with Snyder.

“There’s no need to call me sir, Spider.” He chokes out, somehow managing to plaster a grin on his face.

Snyder growls in frustration and anger and throws Albert backwards. He lands on the floor on his back.

“Get up and follow me.” Snyder turns on his heel and stalks back to the door as Albert struggles to push himself up off the floor. Race rushes to help him, taking his hand and pulling him up.

“Please, don't go. Lemme-”

“No, Racer.”

“But I-”

Albert opens his mouth to say something else, but apparently thinks better of it and stops himself. He gently tugs his arm away from Race’s grasp, takes off his hat, and puts it on Race’s head. Then he walks across the room to where Snyder is waiting in the doorway.

“Good boy.” Snyder sneers approvingly.

“Fuck you!” Albert shouts, shoving him against the side of the doorway.

And then the door slams shut and the lock clicks back into place, Snyder and Albert on the other side.

The room is silent for a moment, but then it all shatters.

Race runs to the door, banging his fists against the wood and shouting for Albert. Tommy Boy is the one to go up to him and pull him away.

“They’se just gonna get mad, Racer.” He says.

“I don’t care!” Race screams, his voice higher than usual. “I can’t let ‘im-” Race’s voice breaks, and he stops fighting Tommy for a second.

“I can’t...” He whispers, falling completely into Tommy’s grasp, his body limp. “Please...”

I can’t handle this.

I can’t handle being back here, having to be a leader and a parent and strong and confident and everything in the world at once.

I’m in so much pain, more than I could’ve ever imagined, I want to scream and cry and end this miserable existence.

“I’m taking a nap.” I say, and Mush helps me hobble over to an empty bunk.

I collapse on the mattress and let much needed sleep overtake me.

it’s a mess now but i promise this fic will have a happy ending

TAG LIST @broadwaybooksandbagels @somekindaspacecadet @tea-and-theater @be-more-chill-evan-hansen @auspicioustarantula @dancingpenss @suddenly-im-respectable @have-we-got-news-for-you @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @funnyihope @snakesarenonexistent @pansalexual @sunshine-e-cigarettes

[shadowedtalks]

I have no idea what to call this so.... My witch.

Haha! See, not much of a gap this time. :) I'm calling this my witch because it deals with a witch character of mine. Her having forbidden relationships woo lol. Yes their is another story just like it else where on the internet only because that is my co-author she does fancy edits an clean up... I really don't lol. I'm try my best but for now enjoy the raw one. ;) )))) Salem wandered the halls a little bit as she was on her way to class. The sky outside still dark and the bustle of students low because of how early is was. That an everyone preferred to be in the cafeteria before classes started in little under an hour where she preferred to wait by the locked doors or in the class room. Just to avoid most flutters of people. You see she wasn't like everyone else. She didn't have a group or a club or even friends. She was the school freak. Their was always one where the school body just collectively hated or avoided. An that was her. She was the victim of all the rumors. You see the shipping company fucked up not to long ago and tainted meat got served. So many students got sick. The response... Oh she did it. She cursed them to get sick. Shes the school freak she takes the fall for it all. The witch the weirdo and Gothic wannabe. She was so far down on the food chain of the school that even the looses and nerds pick on her. And administration snides her way, because the masses don't like her so they fallow blind their are a few that honestly like her. Her english teacher and the Librarian like her. Others act like she don't exist. But that was fine. By now she was used to it. Even when she didn't dress like she does now she was hated. She looked down at her book in hand everything hand written and well explained in it. She looked it over her deep auburn eyes scanning each symble letter and word. As she reached up messing with a stand of her long, im talking lower back, ashy black hair. She had been up late last night so everything reflected her more sluggish mind and was dulled down. She walked an walked till eventually she reached her hallway that held her class room. She walked over and leaned on the wall continuing to read and slowly turn each page as time passed. The sun rose and so did the noise in the hallway as other student's gathered. Everything was okay till she heard snickers and shushes and grumbles. Then her book was ripped from her hands. "Hey!" "Oh look at what i got here! Ripping material... Here cici have fun!" called the prep passing her book to the clone behind her. "Give me by book now." Salam said standing up as the clone waved it around in the air by the leather cover only stretching and damaging the spine. "What are you gonna do about it witch? Curse us? Ooo im so scared." "Careful what you wish for." "Oh im so terrified of a freak like you... Cici!" "Yeah!" called the second carbon copy as either grabbed each side of the book an they pulled ripping the book apart as salem watched, stuck in place momentarily, she would have to fix her precious gilmore yet again. The thick stock pages, enchanted, once she figured out how after the 5th time her poor book was trashed. Slowly sliced deeper into the girls palms the more they ripped without them noticing... At first. Then they threw the trashed book up laughing then started screaming as the pain set in from the gashes on their hands and the blood really ran down the arms and between their fingers of both hands. "You fucking witch! you did this!" "No. Your careless treatment of a book that you know nothing about is what did this." "Your in so much trouble!" "What are you gonna do? Run an cry to the principle? Call daddy? Way i see it im not the one with blood on my hands.... You want a curse their you go... Your cursed now... Those scars you see every day." she growled stocking closer so done with their shit. As the clone ran crying because of the pain and the other girl freaking as she slowly walked away and Salem turned to the hallway of on lookers. "What!? Anyone else wanna do something stupid this morning!?" she called as the chat returned in harsh whispers and they began cussing her out among themselves... No one having the guts at the moment to try anything but it won't last past the first class. She knelt down picking up the remains on her trashed gilmore. "Im so sorry this happened again girl.... Ill figured out a way to keep you completely safe soon." she muttered once she had all the pieces of her gilmore back in her hands. No one else could tell but she knew her book was weeping, she would piece it back together as best she could once at her desk, till then she cradled her book gently in her arms. About that time the teacher opened the door and allowed the student's in.... It was gonna be a long day, she just knew so, and classes hadn't even started yet. With a deep sigh and careful placed steps, she entered the classroom headed for her desk and sitting down and carefully putting her gilmore down onto the hard surface. She got into her bag that had what she needed as she begun fixing the cross stiches of the spine. It was all she could do till she got some better rest an for now it would hold every thing in place. "Shush girl its okay now. You have all your pages back in one place. Just hold untill i can get a nap an you will be good as new soon after i promise." she cooed softly to her gilmore to relax its cry's. Pulling the book down into her lap where it rested on her legs below the desk top hidden by where her bag hung off the side. Pulling out a simple notebook and pen she looked up at the bored as the teacher wrote on it. Detailing what he wanted done in the first 20 minuets of class. She wasn't wall that surprised to find harsher glares thrown her way. An like normal all the desks around her immediate area remained empty. However as closer time for class to start excited murmurs and chat began to pick up, mainly among the females of the class. The screeches im greetings drew her eyes to the door to see someone she never saw before standing their looking over the room. Salem however rolled her eyes. Probably some popular she hadn't see as it wasn't to long past her getting here did the food poisoning really kick in an she was still getting her classes in order as they kept bouncing her about from class to class. They were probably all excited he was back well did she care... Nope. Could care less just wishing the girls would quiet down some eventually. It was still to early to be so loud.

[harryseyebrows]

ok do you have anything on the births of the kids? because i want to know what the experiences were like and how each of them were different for hazoff

im actually working on editing a lot of what i have written for the twins birth, but i have yet to tackle river and willow. however, heres a bit from the twins:

Once Harry gets the epidural, things feel a lot calmer. It was making Jeff feel queasy, watching Harry claw at the bed rails, sweating and writhing around, while he sat and watched the contraction monitor spike as the muscles in Harry’s abdomen rippled and cramped. He felt bad for even feeling ill, aware that any discomfort he might be in is nowhere near how Harry is feeling.

Usually he can help, at least a little bit, when Harry isn’t feeling well. He’ll rub his back or make him soup. Bundle him up in blankets or wash his hair for him while he’s in the bath. But he’s powerless now. This is something that is completely out of either of their control. And it’s frightening. He could see it written across Harry’s features, before his face would twist up completely in pain, when the contraction was only building, the panic of seeing a huge wave approaching but not having the time to swim back to shore.

Now Jeff watches as the monitor spikes and Harry barely reacts, his eyes drooping like he’s ready for a nap, even though his contractions are starting to lengthen and have less time in between them. He reaches over and wraps his hand around one of Harry’s, now that he’s less afraid to touch him, like maybe he’s not made of glass after all.

Harry squeezes back, gently, like it’s all he can manage right now, with his clammy palms and flushed face, sweat cooling nears his temples.

“Hey, kid.” Jeff says quietly. “You doing all right?”

Harry offers him a wan smile. His lips are pale and chapped. Jeff will get him some lip balm and water in a little while, he just wants to check in first. “Been better. But I’m okay,” Harry says.

They’ve only been at the hospital for an hour, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime. There’s no way for them to be certain how long this is gonna take and it’s making him anxious, not having any concrete numbers to work with. He just has to make sure he doesn’t let any of his anxiety seep over to Harry.

“Do you wanna sleep for a bit, or do you want me to see if the doctor can come check on you again?”

Harry uses his free hand to rub at one of his eyes, clumsy, like a little kid. He looks very young all of a sudden, and it hits Jeff somewhere near his solar plexus. “Sleep, please. Just for a little while. Tell the doctor that he doesn’t even need to wake me up for the next exam. I’m giving blanket permission for any poking and prodding down there. I can at least hold onto the small bit of dignity I have left if I’m asleep.”

Jeff lets out a very unattractive snort. He blames it on the lack of sleep that accompanies twelve hours of labor. And that’s just so far. “I’ll let him know. Do you need or want anything before your nap?”

Harry gets that little tilt of his mouth, the one that means he’s about to say something that Jeff is likely to disagree with. “I really want you to lay with me.” Before Jeff can interrupt with a list of reasons why the doctor and nurses have advised against him being on the hospital bed with Harry, he continues. “I know, I know. Too many tubes and doo-dads.” Harry sighs, tiredness creeping back into his tone. “Just wish you could be next to me. Properly.”

“I’ll file a complaint with the hospital. Tell them their nurses are mean and carry on about disturbing catheters and all sorts of other junk. Maybe I’ll even give them a bad review on Yelp.”

Harry gasps theatrically, eyes widening, “Oh Jeffrey. You wouldn’t.”

Humming solemnly, Jeff assures, “Oh, but I would. I will.”

Harry’s smiling softly with lingering amusement, but quietly requests, “Can you bring your chair closer? If you won’t actually break the rules and get up here with me.”

Jeff does as asked, getting his uncomfortable hospital chair as close to Harry’s bed as possible. This way he can reach as much of Harry as he wants; he can place a hand on the swell of his big belly and feel it move and tremble, trace the weary lines of his face, rest his palm over the steady thump of his beating heart. Harry’s still warm to the touch and rosy-cheeked with sweat dewy skin, despite being in considerably less pain.

Not one part of this whole thing has been like what the books, pregnancy magazines, or forums tell you. This romanticized notion of pregnancy, for both the carrier and the partner. Beauty this and beauty that. All sorts of nonsense. Harry called “the glow” a “giant pile of bullshit” after four months in. It’s been a blur of emotional rollercoasters, swelling, cramps, stretch marks, vomit, sweat, constipation, and a whole slew of other things that they’ve both tried to block out of their memory.

But right now -- under some very unflattering fluorescent lighting, with his hair going in eighteen different directions, skin oily with spots on his forehead, bags under his tired eyes -- Harry is the most beautiful Jeff has ever seen him.

He’s holding one of Jeff’s hands in both of his, tucked up close to his chest, and he’s falling fast. His eyelids are fluttering and threatening to close completely, his breaths evening out and slowing down. He needs the rest. He’s dilating “very slowly” according to the doctor, so they were told to prepare for the long haul.

Jeff’s arm is gonna go numb with the way it’s stretched out across Harry, but he wouldn’t move it for the world right now.

[danisnotofire]

Do you have any advice for writing? I used to do it all the time but then I just didnt have time for it anymore. And now I want to get back into it and I keep trying to write, but Im hit with this overwhelming doubt/anxiety that it sucks. And I dont plan on posting my writing anywhere so I dont understand why Im so nervous about writing to the point where I want to cry and cant do it. And I really want to work through it but its just so difficult. Any advice? -🌳

i’m not sure how good i’ll be at giving advice on this, because i often feel the same way!!! 

but ig that leads me to my first point, anon, and that is, you have to understand that that anxious feeling never really goes away. sometimes you feel better about it, sure, and sometimes you’ll write something and know you were meant to write it, but 98.7% of the time you will be screaming and crying into ur document and thinking you’ve been a failure and faking any ability to write this whole time. you have to understand that that’s all part of it. but you have to understand: it doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. i really think you have to internalize that if u ever wanna write anything. 

the best thing to get over feeling awkward and robotic is to separate yourself from what you’re writing. when i got back into writing fic (it’d been like, legit 4 years lmaooo) it was hard to put myself aside and stop feeling weird about writing it. i felt that same stiffness/awkwardness when i started journaling too. the best thing you can do for it is just understand that nobody is going to read it unless you want them to. it’s not going anywhere. the only person who’s gonna judge it is you. 

once you get over that, write as much as fucking possible. it doesn’t need to be a lot. it can be a sentence. it can be a few hundred words. it can be a fuckin novel. just write something. the only reason i’m VAGUELY good is because i’ve been doing it for a longass time. 

i’ve been writing creatively on and off since like,,, third grade. i’m now a sophomore in college. you just gotta churn out as much content as possible. i promise you, eventually it will be good. 

if you can, i think writing classes are actually super helpful for this. i used to kind of shun them and look down on them because i thought somebody teaching me how to write would take away my own style. it actually helped me refine it, mostly because it got me into writing again after going so long without it. i was forced to write every week for a whole semester, and it kind of became a habit that i continued all through the summer.

fun fact: i don’t think no such mirrors would exist in the form it does now if i hadn’t taken that class!!

BUT: I get that classes aren’t always available to you. there are definitely ways u can get urself in that habit!!! you can do nanowrimo (which i did my freshman and sophomore years of high school, where you write 50k in 30 days just to pretty much see if you can. i CANNOT recommend nanowrimo enough. up until no such mirrors, that was my proudest artistic accomplishment)

FIND TIME TO WRITE WHENEVER, WHEREVER YOU CAN. you are going to have to sacrifice certain things to find time to write, but that’s all part of it. i struggled in doing this when i started school this semester because i went from having mostly my entire week free to having like, zero time to write, which is why it took a month for no such mirrors to update. it also sucked because writing makes me feel better about myself, because it helps me be a more productive member of society or something, and so, although it was hard, it became super important to me to find a time to fit that back into my schedule (i ended up carving out a few hours after my last class of the day on MWF, which happened to be my english class with a prof whomst i ADORE, so i always left feeling super inspired. and now i usually go to the silent floor of the library for a few hours and pound out a few thousand words. it’s not ideal, and ofc i’d rather be taking a nap or decompressing from class, but at least it’s something!) 

i know this is harder to do, but i really do think posting your work helps!! i love writing fic because you get INSTANTANEOUS feedback on your skills, and it helps you develop them in a (largely) positive and supportive atmosphere. the people who are reading fic are the people who WANT to like it, who are just desperate for any content they can get. it’s such a good space to learn and grow as a writer (i started writing and posting fic when i was like, 12 years old. my percy jackson days. pre-tumblr. lmao #neverforget) 

i know this is SUPER FUCKING CHEESY, but another thing that helps you become a better writer is to read as much as possible. read anything. read fanfiction from authors you admire. read YA novels. read children’s books. read the classics. 

and then, (and this is something i will shamelessly do lol), pick your favorites, and try and mimic their style as an exercise!!! i recently read james joyce’s “a portrait of the artist as a young man” for class. it’s now one of my favorite books. and so what i did was go to google docs and pound out a few hundred words just trying to mimic the style. it ended up being a weird 1500-word-wip. most of it is garbage, but i wrote lines i’m really fucking proud of. 

obviously don’t like, plagiarize. but what i’ve come to understand is that you can learn something from everything you read. whether it’s a certain type of metaphor, or a kind of characterization, or the art of simplicity, or a way of writing dialogue, or a stylistic thing. and by mimicking that style as a writing exercise or using their style as inspiration for your own work, you help refine what you like, and what your style is. 

i will never be james joyce. that’s pretty obvious. but my version of james joyce is its own style of writing altogether, and it’s not necessarily bad! it’s its own style that i can then learn bits and pieces from later on. to me, writing is this weird ungodly mix of natural ability/learned style and compiling what you like about other authors into your own work. it’s a messy process, but eventually you will churn out something you like. and that’s what matters: producing content that you enjoy. everything else will come in time. (did i think anybody would read engagement sequence? uh, no. i hoped they would, and honestly i do wish that fic was recognized more than it was (bc any author who says they don’t care about feedback is LYING) but mostly i was writing it because i had SO MUCH FUN writing that fic. i’m probably most proud of that piece of writing out of everything i’ve ever written. it came from me combining poetry and prose into this weird pseudo mix of both) 

another thing that’s easier said than done: DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER AUTHORS. this is something i CONSTANTLY struggle with (to the point where i get SUPER down on myself if i’m not getting the same amount of anons asking about my work or comments or kudos or fuckin’ whatever). it’s something i CONSTANTLY have to work on, but it’s so so important, and the sooner you start working away from this habit the better off you’ll be. 

if anything, USE these authors as people to learn from!! ask them questions about their process!! read their works and take note of what worked really well and how they executed it, so maybe you can incorporate that into things that you write later on. 

IMPORTANT: COMMENT ON WORKS. COMMENTING ON WORKS DOESN’T ONLY BENEFIT THE AUTHOR, BUT IT ALSO BENEFITS YOU AS A WRITER. commenting helps you specify and work out EXACTLY what you liked about a certain piece. even if you don’t think it does anything, it actually puts words to specific things that you like, which then helps you incorporate it into your own writing. also?? long, thoughtful comments make an author’s fuckin DAY. someone once left like an 8 paragraph review on my fic, and i could. not. stop. rereading. it. for the better part of a week. TRULY. 

take yourself less seriously. honestly. as much as it kind of sucks, writing is supposed to be fun and ultimately, it’s supposed to be rewarding. let yourself experiment with style and dialogue and characterization. who fucking cares? i wrote 300 words about spaghetti steam as a metaphor for jeremy’s parents’ divorce the other day. it doesn’t matter! nobody will read it!! that’s what editing is for.  

it also might help to talk about your writing process!! i know i love doing this, and i see loads of other authors do it too. it’s so, so, so fun to complain about writing, because writing is really fucking hard. even the pieces that come easiest to me are still a pain in the ass to write. 99.99% of the time i write, i would rather be doing something, anything else. who wants to sit and cry into a computer screen? nobody in their right mind. ya do it because you love it, and you love the final product and you love seeing what you’re able to do, what you’re capable of creating. 

if you’re having trouble starting, pick literally the first thing that comes to mind and write as much or as little as you fuckin’ want. remember, you’re in control! you can do as much or as little as you want. when i started writing no such mirrors, i had NO IDEA it was gonna become what it was. i started the fic with jeremy throwing a baseball up in the air and some random dialogue. i didn’t know what role everybody else was gonna play. i didn’t know it was gonna turn into an actual fucking novel. i had no idea! i just had the idea of jeremy laying on his back and tossing a baseball into the air repeatedly. why? i legitimately could not tell you! but it worked. it felt right and natural and easy, and here we are 72k later. 

that being said, IT’S NOT ALWAYS GOING TO FEEL RIGHT AND NATURAL AND EASY! you’re just gonna have to write through that! it’s gonna fucking suck a lot of the time, especially with longer works! i fucking hate certain chunks of no such mirrors, to the point where i can’t even bear to look at them. 

this leads into another point, which is….

you’re going to feel like you’re faking it. that’s okay. keep writing. i doubt in my abilities every. goddamn. day. i reread my fics probably daily and can’t understand why anybody would like them, half the time. i feel like the characters’ interactions are forced and awkward and unnatural, i think the dialogue is boring, i think their feelings don’t feel real and i don’t feel like their motivations have depth. i feel like the plot is hanging on with masking tape and thread. every author will feel this way at some point or another. i know that sounds fake, because i’ll read posts like that from my favorite authors and can’t believe they would write anything except perfection. so you have to remember, it’s in your head most of the time. 

however, that’s not to say you’re perfect. you aren’t. there’s no such thing as a perfect writer. sometimes it’s healthy to listen to that voice in your head to try and improve. you just can’t let it become the loudest part of your writing process. 

so yeah! those are my writing tips!! that was a lot and im really sorry if it was all cliche and cheesy bullshit, but i promise they work, or at least help a little bit!! 

i hope you can get out of ur slump, because i love writing so much and hope i never stop doing it (even if i say i hate it l o l) and i really hope you can get to the point where you feel comfortable saying the same

[chenlays]

I request a scenario where you, sam/foot/weeb, get to marry the love of ur life chenle

thank u for discussing this w me I’m gonna cry r u ready for this NOBODY ASKED BUT IM GIVING

• y'all know I love my bby chenle right ?? • ok so I’m on my phone doing this I’m h u Rt• but aNYWAYS • I would marry him like 59 times and ?? I’d still be happy that’s good• ok so just he’s rly cute and I’d buy lots of cats and just bury him in kitties and I would cry actual tears of joy that’s a pile of amazing• and ?? Like y Es I would totally be up 4 going out to get sweets at like 2am and just sitting out at night and eating them and talking about life• also oHMY g o d I love breakfast u know just pls I’ll make u breakfast every morning with ur fav even if I have to wake up at 4am or travel 5 miles by walking BYE • I’m probs the most annoying person ever and I’ll just literally shower him in love and just literally every 5 minutes ask him if he’s ok• also I am rly affectionate just l o v e me and keep me warm pls I’m cold all the time• I’m also that cliche bich that takes sweaters and hides them in a secret closet (´ｰ｀)• this is fun• look chenle bby pls if ur ever sad I will cry too and just h u g the pain away and love u okay• also protec u with my life• I’ll buy cute lil cat pajamas for u bby I love u• I’m actually sobbing why did u sarcastically ask this radish• my dream is to actually live in Iceland but I will sacrifice for him• like sure we can live in china if u want idc• also I just wanna b a veterinarian • u know how many cute lil animals I’d have omGG• just havin like 28 parakeets and they’re all just o u t and he’s runnin n screaming everywhere SO CU TE• also stress• but I mean I love him with all my heart like,,,yes release the keets if it makes u happy• ice cream like once a week tho pls• I want that to be my religion• J U ST eatin ice cream n walkin around to look at stuff and just BUying everything • also pls,,,gimme ur nose it’s rly cute bby• u guys I’m tearing up the more I think about him the more love I feel• he just too cute• id probs pay him for a bunch of solos （╹◡╹）♡• wakin up to hear him screeching chewing gum I AM A L I VE• als o just constantly me having to stay away once a week to silently sob• y'all He is p e r fect • “uhm why do u have 600 pictures of an Asian guy with u all the time”• “yeah sorry gtg something came up”• OMG • I literally am so fascinated with spiders• and he’s scared of them aw babs that’s cute• if u see a tiny jumping spider to a huge as fuk tarantula gET ME!!!• the cutest thing ever would just be him SCREECHING because I’m holding a tiny lil spider in my hand just crawling everywhere • can I mention cats again• I am a strong believer in cats soothing your heart and protecting you from heart problems• literally I will spend 10mil to make a cat a service cat for him 🙃• like,,,,if ur scared here’s a cute kitty to purr n make u smile• also endless supply of love from me I’m full of it• I never stop feeling love this is a fact• I am also a good listener and 99.9% reliable with secrets• u ate marks fav cookie??? Don’t worry hun I’ll never tell• also I will literally b rich if I’m a veterinarian so I’m going to a new country every other month• forcibly pushin out that home• pls,,,come to Russia with me I can speak Russian bb • honestly when I’m 25 what can’t I do• I WANT GIANT PUPPERS OMG THEYRE LIKE THE SIZE OF ME NOW• c. Henle riding on a giant Caucasian ovcharka just scremaign and being happy that’s so fukin cu t e• literally take my s o u l I love u• this is re a l LY long I’ll edit it tomorrow I G• but also just I wanna pinch his cheeks and sMOOSH them together and make him happy that’s so wonderful • lele with smooshed cheeks ::))• also like 4993020 lil cheek smooches FUC• I shed a tear I would be so s h y tbh I don’t act like it• I’d probs be that person who has to ask for a hug• I see so many people talking about backhugs for chenle and I would love lt that’s so adorable• also I wanna be bigger than him • like taller ig ??• I like to be big spoon !! Fun fact • I like to snuggle up to ppl rather than snuggle into them• kitty cuddles aw• pls I like to play with hair and snuggle and just squeeze occasionally it’s so sweet• also literally a separate drawer for cat socks • probably just buying like 500 presents for Christmas just for him u know• also that birthday• pls lemme just drag u around lil cute shops and buy u literally anything u want• just luv me and hug me n hold my hand I will be 1056% content• oh I’m crying??? Didn’t notice I was too busy lookin at u smile• ommmmmm I would definitely go to roller coasters with him just for that cute squeal• not if he’s scared• I’ll protect u bby ily• I’ll protect from everything • I can’t fight tho I’ll learn for u• I actually have 37 wallets with just pics I show to people • I don’t like a lot of pda just hold m Y hand thx ❤️• literally I hope I have like 50 succulents just at my job • omg what if he sent cute lil notes in my pocket or food just to say “I hope ur day is amazing!! ily!!”• if that happened • “hey there did u know I am in love wit h zhong chenle”• radish I’ll b at ur house w hyuck a lot just to talk abt happiness• BOY DO I HAVE SOME SOFT STUFF FOR U• frick omg cuteness!!! sittin outside in the middle of fall with kitty print scarves and cute gloves and fluffy sweaters and just sitting in the dark and cuddling to stay warm • just out to look at the stars• silence is so beautiful and that silence is amazing • or “cloud” gazing• his imagination would be so adorable• comin home to literally 60 pillows in every room• “uh bb what’s this??”• “pls shush n stop being mEAN I didn’t know what to DO”• omgmgm im so sappy I’d send cute short letters to him all the time • if I got them back I’d s c r e a m• eating a samich or smth and reading it and just almost suffocating • also I’m sleepy af rn and it reminds me• I love laying on laps or having ppl laying on my lap so I can play with hair• pls let me nap on ur lap and just literally encase myself in my big af pink rainbow sweater  • it covers everything but my legs• I would be so warm w him I’m sobbing• huggin me while I’m nap on the lap• I am so soft for this• sending selcas every few hours just because• literally no I won’t send my ugly• but sweetie pls send all of urs I will s OB and frame literally all of them• more lap naps• just gimme hugs and lemme smooch ur nose and cry myself into a nap on ur lap  • I’m really tired • I can’t think anymore and I’m so soft right now• so here’s the hcs about the marriage id want with the bby I can’t have that nobody asked for•my e yes•ok sorry ily• i also love u radish sm❤️• n chenle babs, bby, sweetie, hun,,,I’m literally cryin for u 💚

[gulescamisade]

Minnesota:  Day 4

JAKE: -Another night is going by, he's pretty sure. And he's so sweaty, hungry, and thirsty. If their captors had left food or water for him, Jake promptly turned it down as he felt was the NATURAL THING TO DO. He heard what became of those mushroom tests from LOWAS. None of this was exactly ideal... He groans miserably, rubbing his tum of awful hunger pains. The headaches and dry throat.-

JAMES: -continuing his meditation and fasting. Energy continues to be conserved and though he is hungry, it's not the worst he's experienced. He only hopes the fact that it's gone quiet these past few hours can only be a good thing. No news is good news, James tells himself. It's the only thing he can do.-

ROXY: =Things seem quiet..... she leans against her wall and tap tap........ who's next to her. TAPS=

JAMES: -The only one who is paying attention is James. Leans back to the wall and taps in response.-

JAKE: -curled up in a ball, having cried himself into another headache nap.-

ROXY: =Baby no........ she taps out [HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTT] in morse code then POOFs over into the next cell.=

JAMES: -sitting crosslegged with his whole button up and slack combos. Professional even in these dire circumstances. James looking a little haggard what with his hair out of place, but still alert. Ready for action if need be.- ROXY.

JAMES: ....I AM RELIEVED TO SEE YOU.

JAMES: YOU ARE NOT HURT, ARE YOU?

ROXY: =She's definitely been sweating but she didn't wanna flaunt her powers too much since they expect shit of her but... she can't just. Let them go without. Whoever else is here. She rushes over to him too= glad 2 see u too im fine

ROXY: u gotta grocery list? im ur gal call me target cuz wal marts 2 trashy and im the height of supermarket class

ROXY: not whole foods class tho thats borderin in2 pretentious

JAMES: -knits his eyebrows.- ...ARE YOU OFFERING FOOD?

ROXY: anythin u need that u can hide and food definitely

JAMES: -nods promptly- WATER. DRIED FRUIT. CRACKERS. PROTEINS. ANYTHING WITH NUTRITIONAL VALUE.(edited)

ROXY: gotcha =she finger waggles up a storm dropping two sturdy sacks of water, dried fruits in thin bags along with crackers and little bite-sized pieces of protein bars=

JAMES: -seems to be wiggling something out of the sole of his shoe.-

JAMES: -as it turns out, it is a single playing card. Flips it over the supplies as kind of single-slot emergency sylladex and stores it away.-

JAMES: I CANNOT EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE. BUT QUICKLY.

JAMES: TEND TO THE OTHER PRISONERS. JAKE IS HERE.(edited)

ROXY: =That's so cool... and a good idea= hope u dont mind me stealin ur idea.....

ROXY: =gestures to the other wall= is he over here u think? =taps??? TAPS=

JAMES: IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE. -What with hearing him yowl up a storm before.-

JAMES: TREAD CAREFULLY.

ROXY: never but ill try =two finger salute and BLIPS into the cell next to James'=

JAKE: -lying huddled in his corner like a sad dog, his back turned towards the door. Something about the BLIP stirs him awake, however, and he begins to wake up. Squinting with a bleariness around.- ....Rock and rolloxy?

ROXY: .....baby...... :C

ROXY: i gotta make it quick but do u need a hug?

JAKE: -it even hurts to cry but he's doing it anyway, rolling up to sit.- Yes... 8'C

ROXY: awww cmere =quickly shuffles over to give him a big strong hug=

ROXY: tell me wut u need and we can work it out... idk where we are and idk how many of us are in here....

ROXY: idk where everyone else is

JAKE: -weeps into her shoulder. Two smelly baras hugging it out.- Ive no idea either. Its—

JAKE: Cant i know if my sons are alright?? Oh rox its so cruel.

ROXY: i... wish i knew jakey boy.... if i could id get us a thing to try n get in2 this system but... that needs time and theyd be onto me lol...... not lol

ROXY: but well get outta this mess

JAKE: -scrubs at his face, so blotched and red with tears.- Well... well bust out of here! I know we will!

JAKE: And when we do they wont even know what hit them!

JAKE: Id do so right now if you gave the word. -looks off.- Maybe...

JAKE: Someone can help us?

ROXY: maybe but right now we can help each other =cups his face and kisses his forehead= ROXY: ill go scopin later.... try 2 see whats up

ROXY: maybe i can find every1

ROXY: but rn tell me what u need

JAKE: -smiles for the first time in a few days, warmed by the gesture. But then remembers what he's doing.- Shit uhh—

JAKE: Water and substantial edibles i think is a good start. -rubs his sad empty tum.-

ROXY: its the best start =smiles back at him then gets to work just giving him the same supplies she gave James= just hide em when someone comes u kno

ROXY: prison smugglin drills

JAKE: !!!

JAKE: Cripes this is just like magic...

JAKE: ... -looks around his cell.-

JAKE: Where ought i hide it?

ROXY: mmm ..... i might hafta steal a idea i saw from james hes ur neighbor btw

ROXY: =focuses......... tries to make the one dump sylladex card= this might work i think slip it in ur mustache lol or just like somewhere discreet

JAKE: Holy moly! -accepts the 1 dump sylladex card if she manages it.- Is this what i think it is?

JAKE: -Automatically believing that it's a 1 dump sylladex card so whether she DOES manage it, the card is already what she intends it to be.-

JAKE: -giving it a look over- :D

JAKE: -tucks it into the safety of his back pocket. Sitting on it now.-

ROXY: =bless u jake= good beans bby

ROXY: ill be back sometime keep ur spirits up ok?

JAKE: Yes ma am o whamma! -salutes her swiftfly. His spirits are in much better places than they were before.-

ROXY: good! =poof, she's outta there=

JAKE: -brimming with hope now and makes swift work of these dried fruits. Chugs what he can of the water.-

JAKE: -wiping off his mustache, he feels his willpower RENEWED. Better than ever.-

JAKE: -And if Roxy can pull her magic off, why the blazes can't he??? Jake rolls to stand, channeling that spark of hope to manifestation.-

(DIRK): -he puts the MAN in MANIFEST. extends leg, here is brain ghost dirk.-

(DIRK): Hey, that's the first time you summoned me consciously and not as the result of a homoerotic fantasy. Good job.

JAKE: -jumps as his voice comes up but brightens his scruffy self up immediately.- Dirk!

JAKE: Brain ghost! Youre here!

(DIRK): Yeah.

(DIRK): What are you gonna do with me now that I'm here? -lol and then what-

JAKE: -swiftly whaps the ishades off his face.- Give me that!

(DIRK): What the fuck. -covers his face. DON'T LOOK AT ME. he's being ironic mostly-

JAKE: -thrusting them onto his own face. Instant computer.- Hoo. Alright now. I need to contact the crew.

JAKE: Mind if i hornswoggle you of your pester client? Of course you do! -logging into his account.-

(DIRK): My pester client is imaginary, but alright.

JAKE: Huh? No its not? -It's not, Dirk. Look at it working. How??? Magic is how.-

(DIRK): -fucking incredible-

(DIRK): -obnoxiously hovers behind him-

(DIRK): It's almost like you have the ability to make anything a reality.

JAKE: -typing frantically, heart hammering as it actually DOES seem to work.- Shut up will you???

(DIRK): A dude summons you into his realm of existance just to tell you to shut up. Nice one.

JAKE: -Seeing everyone online makes his insides lurch painfully so he's only half paying attention to BGD. His franticness making his eyes water again as in the middle of the message, the connection severs.- Its—

JAKE: Its breaking up! -says with his concentration fizzling.-

(DIRK): Well don't give up.

(DIRK): Do something about it.

JAKE: Im trying damn you! Cant you see?? -says, clutching at the shades.-

(DIRK): And I'm telling you to try harder.

(DIRK): You have it in you to do this.

JAKE: -practically choking with frustration and wills the last bit of connection out of sheer spite. The last message gets through before cutting off completely.-

(DIRK): ...

(DIRK): There you go.

JAKE: -He is just never going to stop being tearstruck at this point. Obligatorily hands BGD his shades.-

JAKE: -His vision is swimming as his hand drops, looking at brain ghost now. Dirk knows Jake loves him doesn't he? Of course he does, a voice tells Jake predictably. It's what he wants to hear, it's the truth that he knows deep down in his heart and it's what BGD was basically scripted to say.-

JAKE: -So why was he still so miserable? He's gotta ask anyway.-

JAKE: He knows i love him right? Id do anything for him?

(DIRK): ... Of course he knows that.

(DIRK): He's probably driving himself up a wall cuz he can't tell you the same thing.

JAKE: -wipes at his nose.- I miss him something tremendous.

JAKE: You would think dodging near death experiences on a regular basis would make this easier to bear. But it doesnt.

JAKE: It really doesnt.

(DIRK): They're coming for you, you know. -he knows this because jake has to know this.-

(DIRK): ... -offers jake his hand to hold-

JAKE: -takes the hand, too dried up to cry in earnest anymore. His shoulders only sag.- At least i have you.

(DIRK): You'll always have me.

JAKE: -keeps their fingers twined together but gives up once their shoulders brush. Just rests his head against BGD, tired all over again.- Jeez louise dirk....

JAKE: Youre always so.

JAKE: You.

(DIRK): It's no coincidence. -leans on him too-

(DIRK): That's the way you want me to be.

JAKE: Shucks. Then i must be stock full of good ideas. -lets his eyes start to drift closed...-

(DIRK): Must be. -yes shhh sleep. it'll get better soon. just believe in that, jake-

JAKE: -having close company to fall asleep with is infitintely better than sleeping alone. Jake has decided this here and now.-