#im gonna keep eggshell in my back pocket...

[oceantornadoo]

hiiiii, i just read your annoying military neighbor story with price and… lord help me cause if that’s not my favorite scenario then i don’t know what is. it’s so good. and i think your set up is very tasty it’s got that juice. so i come asking for a full fledged long (as long as you wish it be) and angsty (as angsty as you wish it be) fic based on it. it would be a delight. please.

anyway, love you have a good timezone ✨👍🏻

you are so lovely i love asks like this!!! i tried to keep the politics very general since john’s british but as an american, i also have very complicated issues with our military. also the angst turned into cockwarming, not sure how that happened…

—

it had been a week of you sleeping at john’s before you came to your senses. a week of knocking at his door, ignoring his eye contact, and slinking in like a guilty cat. a week of falling asleep on his lap to the soothing sounds of his tv and waking up in his bed, one thick hairy arm a chain around your waist. you’d always dipped out as fast as possible, needing to get to work, but today was a saturday, so you blissfully luxuriated in his soft bed and warm presence.

john felt like he was walking on eggshells. you’d show up when no one could see you and walk out before the world was awake. of course, it was the best sleep of his life. funny from a man who just wanted to sleep alone after sharing tents and safe houses with his men. something about you on his lap, practically purring, or you underneath him, protected, sent him to sleep like no other drug could. he couldn’t take a week of no conversation so today, he was determined to woo you.

when you got up, john was nowhere to be found. you followed the delicious scent of pancakes to his kitchen, his back turned to you as he focused on his stove. you took in his back muscles for a moment then turned your gaze to his walls, this being the first time you'd looked at them in the morning light. the sights of medals, pictures in camo gear, and congratulations notes assaulted you, guilt gathering low in your stomach. you could see the blood staining him in a few pictures, a visual to how freely he treated other humans through the nature of his job. now there was a sour taste in your mouth, the smell of pancakes suddenly nauseating.

"hungry?" john finally acknowledged your presence, figuring he could lure you in with food. instead he saw your spine straighten, lips pursing as you turned your gaze towards him. shit. "no, im fine. gonna get going, lots of errands to do." you made to move out of his line of sight and on instinct he burst towards you, stopping you with a hand on your arm. "stay." your eyes flicked to his walls again, then back to him. "your pancakes are burning, john. thanks for the offer but i need to go." he swore under his breath as he turned to shut the stove off, moving the burnt pan off the heat. guess he needed to up his game to keep you. "y' need your key, sweetheart." he was back in front of you with a grin, hand patting his back pocket. you rolled your eyes, reaching forward to grab at it as he took a step back. the action was childish, absolutely too young for a man of his age and level in the military, and yet, here he was.

“don’t think i can’t see past you, john. you can’t order me around like one of your soldiers.” so that’s what had been bothering you. he’d seen it in glimpses: anti war buttons on your bag, heard your loud conversations with fellow activists through the walls, the guilt in your eyes every time you showed up at his door. he’d thought you just disliked the bachelor pad, his men watching football with the volume up; but it was more than that. your dislike for his job ran deep.

“somethin’ you wanna talk about, love?” his voice was low and threatening, abandoning the childishness that had overcome him. this is why he didn’t mess with civilians - their “morals” not adapted to the realities of the battlefield. of course, you and those eyes had rendered his rule useless, and now he was paying for it. “not particularly.” your eyes shifted, ignoring his. he didn’t like to stand over you, wasn’t one of those men who needed to swing his cock around to get a woman to pay attention, but you always made him work for it. his hand grasped your jaw, tugging you forward to meet his torso, your pelvises brushing. “say it.”

“i don’t like what you do for work, okay? i respect you’re sacrificing everything for your country but i hate that you’re carrying out orders for people pushing senseless wars and countless deaths. i don’t like that the laws don’t apply to you.” he huffed. finally. “you think i like killin’? the blood on my hands stains everythin’ i touch. and bein’ in charge, telling my men to do the same? but it’s fuckin’ necessary an’ if i don’t do it, a worse man will.” you turned away, cheek brushing his torso.

“i know you’re not at the top, not in the politics, but i also know you’re fucking up there, john. you’re not some grunt worker, you’re conscious of the shit you do!” fucking minx, you had taken your keys out of his pocket when he wasn’t paying attention. you backed away towards the door, his body suddenly freezing without you. “i’m sorry. i can’t.” you were grabbing your stuff, toeing your shoes, and out the door before he couldn’t blink.

it had been a week and you were miserable. circles under your eyes, constantly yawning at work. couldn’t catch more than a few hours without sleeping in john’s arms, the thought of it closing your throat. it was a lonely friday night and you were hibernating in your living room, the farthest room from the wall you shared with john. your food delivery was late, again, so when you heard the heavy knock at your door, you jumped out of the position on your couch. “i don’t want to be that person but i was supposed to get my food thirty - oh. hi john.”

he looked worse than you felt. with his overgrown beard and tired eyes, it was like he’d aged ten years before your eyes. “can i come in?” you nodded and saw your takeaway in his proffered hand. in spite of yourself you smiled, and the grin he gave you in return rewinded that aged look in an instant. john took in the sight of your apartment as he took off his shoes and took the food out of the bag. sure enough, a few signs demanding peace crowded your walls, mixed with art and music. it felt too intimate for him to be here. his apartment was simply a place to rest between deployments but this, this was your home. the thought of not seeing it for a while quickly dampened his mood.

“what’s wrong?” you asked through a stuffed face, too impatient to wait for him to start eating. you guided him towards your couch, the both of you taking a moment to eat the food you ordered in amicable silence. “i ship out in a week. be gone a month, maybe more. just didn’t want-“ he never got to finish his sentence, too busy catching you as you launched yourself on his lap, food forgotten. “john. i’m sorry. i-“ he shushed you with a glimmer in his eyes. “don’t apologize for speakin’ your mind, love. ‘specially to me.” you nodded, pulling back to meet his gaze. “doesn’t mean i’m not sorry.” he grinned. “me too.”

“what are we doing, john?” he shook his head, kissing your forehead. “whatever we want, as long as it ends with you in my arms. my sleep was shite this week.” you giggled. “me too. pretty sure i fell asleep standing one day.” he turned serious again. “you can ask me questions. just don’t run away from me again. got it, love?” his hands on your hips, pulling you closer til your pelvises kissed. the feel of his hardness under your pajamas, the forcefulness of his eye contact, the baritone of his voice; it made you squirm, a familiar build in your stomach. “ok.” you said a bit breathlessly, trying to hold back your moans as you focused on his t shirt instead of his face. john jutted his hips up, catching your clothed clit at the perfect angle.

“john.” you moaned, practically a whine. “you like being ordered around, sweetheart? quite a walking contradiction.” he saw your nipples stiffen under your thin shirt, warmth building up your neck to your cheeks. “look at these. practically begging for it.” he mouthed one over your shirt, tongue tracing the outline of your nipple. you started writhing in his lap, grinding back and forth on the imprint of his fat cock trapped under his jeans. you were halfway to orgasm already, the slow grind turning up the pressure, your walls clenching in anticipation. he reached a hand to your neck, keeping you in place with a strong grip. “keep fucking yourself on my lap, love. just like that. can feel you getting closer.” he switched his mouth to the other nipple, licking and sucking and swallowing. your shirt was practically transparent due to his ministrations, the feel of it like a tether pulling at your core. “more, john, more.” he squeezed your neck and bit your nipple at the same time, the sensation of being utterly controlled so appealing you came in his lap. waves ran through you as the clenching became hard than soft, eventually making you boneless in his lap.

“wanna fuck you but i’m so tired.” you sniffed into his neck, back in the position that had led you both here. “i’ll jus’ put it in, love, an’ you can go to sleep. alright?” you nodded against his skin. john pushed aside your pajama shorts, reveling at the touch of your wet heat. another time. he pulled out his cock, beads of precum rolling down, then slipped it into you with ease, your previous orgasm and overwhelming tiredness making you putty in his arms. “so big.” you yawned. “so tired. just give me an hour and…” you trailed off, asleep once again in his arms, back where you belonged.

[roarsaidthedinosaur]

how are the other items on your todo list going?

i was going to be like A SMASHING SUCCESS I DID IT ALL a little bit tongue in cheek and leave it at that bc it’s been a hard year actually but it turns out i really have intentionally done a lot of these things?? so i got excited and now i want to share!!! thanks pal for asking i appreciate it 💕

the only thing i haven’t done as i intended is the first one, i have been managing ~*~an illness~*~ and it’s not comfortable for me to go out or host folks while under the weather so i will say my IRL friendships have been mostly me texting my friends that i love them and keeping up with my pocket friends but not planning a lot of visits/travel. i DID manage to make it to europe to visit my bff due to some last minute convenient timing and a lucky week of feeling well enough to get on a plane. and when i am feeling mostly alright i do make a point to hang with my brother & my dnd pals in person!! so really i am completing this one in spirit even though it wasn’t how i pictured it when i wrote it (hanging out with friends once a week)

but yeah like - the rest of it i’ve made very distinct choices to do (or not!!!)

i’ve cut back on the time i gave to one extremely old friendship where every conversation became a therapy session and was making ME feel like i needed to go back to therapy just to get the tools to help this person and that was causing me a lot of stress. but instead i was simply like “i don’t have time for this” and so i stopped making time for it and it allowed me to free up so much energy & brainpower to give to my other pals. we still talk but it feels so nice to not have to walk on eggshells with every interaction, or get the feeling of dread in my stomach every time i saw a text from them.

big lady & the boy have become so much more snuggly with me now and i honestly love it lol like i hate the cat hair floating around the house and being in my nose but i love when i’m sitting on the couch and honey picks MY lap to sit in and cooper lets me scoop him up and parade him around the house like he’s my little babydoll

i have been working real hard on setting boundaries with family members and not keeping my mouth shut when my folks say something out of pocket but also in general i’ve been trying to be kind in interactions rather than just placating people. this has kinda been hand & hand with energy vampirism ignoring like this one lady from work kept asking me to hang out outside of work because “you’re the only person who’s nice to me” and i was like “and i will continue to be, but i do not want to hang out outside of work” because she only ever talked about herself lol. and THAT has been super freeing, not doing things that i don’t want to i mean

i recommend everyone gets a humidifier for next to their bed, 10/10 improved my breathing at night especially during the dry season!!!! just make sure you clean it weekly

i dance around my house pretty much once a week if i’m honest, usually while waiting for nuggies to finish in the air fryer

im still obsessed w my girl as i was on day 1 and i can’t wait to marry her someday. i’m gonna be the guy that’s always like ‘MY WIFE—’ lol building a home with her has been so natural and fun over this year and it helps that we have similar taste in things but really i have been declutterring so much of MY stuff to make room for OUR things and it’s been so. rewarding sounds dumb but it’s like there’s no doubt that we are always on the same team and it’s so great. i still very much have the things that in love squirreled away like my edward cullen and katniss everdeen barbies and my digimon figurines but i’m trying to be very intentional about what i keep vs give away vs throw away and it’s such a project but i’m excited about doing it

keeping my inner peace has become weirdly easy since i have a VERY clear picture of what’s important to me in my life since this flare up started. my priorities are: my health, amelia, my family & friends, keeping my house nice/reducing stress in my life, and THEN work. it’s still a priority but like no i’m not missing my gf’s birthday dinner because you suck at planning meetings across timezones. and no i’m not doing 42hours of travel to india because you think it’ll be good for me to have experience on their computer station rather than the one in my home office. figure it out lol

on top of all of it, my new year’s resolutions i wrote down in my actual journal were to open a high yield savings account and start saving (for a house??? an airstream?! who knows not me yet tbh) and also to read one book a month, and i’ve done both of those things so far!! i’m actually up to 11 this year and about halfway thru my next one and it’s only september

so despite this year being a little crappy health-wise i’ve actually done so much work to be happy. thanks for the reminder i didn’t know i needed!! :-)

[crestfallen-infatuation]

(You did good, $lick)

(It's a Smash)

(Lonely Boy)

I got murder all on my mind

Drugs up in my body

Cash all in my pocket, family bank on me like Friday

Ring up on her finger, things you do for love

But when the parties over and the smiles fade, I'm staring down my gun, yeah

Who gone tell him, yeah, who gone tell him?

Yeah, who gone tell him, yeah

Who gone tell him that the game rigged?

Tryna get so fucking high, don't know what pain is

You would think that living broken hearted, what I'm trained in

Smoke so much you would think my lungs is what I'm training

They tell me that Jesus walked on water

But could he walk on eggshells?

Never saw god in the church, but I saw god off a X pill

As a kid tried to kill myself, could never hold back the exhale

Now mixing fent with the xans was the last time that I slept well, yeah

Rooms tend to get more crowded the more that im making money

Just give some time, they will reveal they do not love me

Taking them subs and hoping that they do not judge me

How can god love me when I heard he don't like ugly?

If time heals, then I better live to see five hunnid

Been telling me pray, but i rather take my meds and up it

Camoed out in the woods, but it's me that's feeling hunted

I already knew you would hurt me, baby, that's why I keep numbing

Like a thief, I found god on a cross

I can see the hate in my brothers eyes everytime that we talk

Why not him? Why me? I would've took my loss

Fuck it, take the house, take the money, take the cars, yeah

Take the stress, take the hurt, take it all

If he was dying, blow my head, take my heart, yeah

Play my part, pop a narc, fade to dark

Devil paid, god saved, what a thought

This for the ones that feel worthless, yeah

This for the ones don't feel worth it, yeah

This for the ones that ain't considered

It's gonna be okay, let go of the trigger

This one for the sinners, yeah

This one for the sinners, yeah

This one for the sinners, yeah

This one for the sinners, yeah

Hey, how you doing?

Happy birthday, I know you're getting old

[cryptidclaw]

Some of my favorite ocs names are Eggtail and Eggsong, my two egg cats, Bouncefrond, Addersnap, Fleetsnake, Ashcrest, Webmoon, Winterpelt and Silentsong.

Egg is an amazing prefix and should be used more often ... omg Eggshell can be a wc name!!