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#im just not in the headspace for it rn
dreamwinged · 1 month
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food + alc
finally got myself out of bed … baby steps … and this meal is healing me
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disastercit · 2 months
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oh god there's more of them
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ozlices · 3 months
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it's been a long ass while since i've gotten so many notes (since i rarely, if ever, have energy to make actual content on here) but i just wanna say it's truly heartwarming to see my activity blow up as we all bond over our mutual, thriving, visceral hatred of james somerton. just truly beautiful to see people come together for a good cause like this.
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constantvariations · 10 months
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Man I wish the White Fang had numerous community programs like the BPP did. It would've been super cool to see Adam and Blake interact with other faunus outside of missions and the WF. I like to imagine Adam volunteering to teach people self defense while Blake spends some down time teaching people how to read and maybe they're both banned from the kitchens because they accidentally started a small grease fire because they're used to cooking on the road and not with fancy dancy equipment
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freakurodani · 1 year
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indescribable frustration
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
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coldvampire · 3 months
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.
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lastoneout · 5 months
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Thank you for the really kind anons, sorry I don't have the spoons to respond properly rn given Everything, but they mean a lot and I am going to keep them in mind <3
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pepprs · 5 months
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double posting lol but i truly cannot articulate the psychic damage of feeling unloved by your own mom and knowing that she will never take responsibility for the ways she’s hurt me (even if she didn’t mean to or had good intentions or whatever). can’t articulate the damage of walking around every day knowing there is this emptiness in me that will never ever ever be filled despite the hopeful part of myself that keeps throwing itself against the wall trying to get her to understand in whatever way i can (whether it’s outright aggression or trying to see eye to eye with her or whatever). she knows i post about her online and ive said it in a bitter mean way in the heat of some of our fights that ive liveposted abt but i do genuinely wish she would read my blog sometimes. i wish she understood how deeply sad i am that our relationship is the way it is and that i think about it a lot and it informs everything i say and do. idk
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mothocean · 1 month
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Getting your parents to try anything you like is so nervewracking. Hello person that has been a dominant authority figure for me for my entire life and has been severely out of the loop on anything regarding popular media for around two decades. Would you like to watch an anime
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Assortment of sketches n doodles of my most recent brainworm inducers
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i need songs that are like. agonizing to listen to. like songs that fill you with deep emotional pain. i have a playlist sort of like this already but i need it to hurt More so send me recommendations please and thank you 😌
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straycalamities · 9 months
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i wanna draw but the thing is: i Think too much when i draw and so the horrors flood in
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poisonhemloc · 3 months
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Congrats on nearly making me cry AGAIN
1000000/10 keep on breaking my heart with your astounding work 💖💖💖
oh good, that was as intended <3
Thank you!
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2
#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore#we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life#i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible#if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green#and later this year i think i might change my name#it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random#i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel#really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am#to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate#but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it#but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so#when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy#i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that#also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els#sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w#not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else#but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway#that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but#all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not#im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help#it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning#nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my#feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions#i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary
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gromky · 14 days
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genuinely though. it is so sweet and so heartbreaking how much lizzie adores him. it’s not about loyalty it’s about how she understands why he is the way he is and believes in the possibility of him one day not living like an animal caught in a trap bc every so often she catches a glimpse of that part of him
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