#im just saying the disparity was funny

[softshuji]

Fanon ran vs canon ran makes me die laughing

Fanon ran was all like yk cheating Playboy heartbreaker etc etc doesn't give a shit

And canon ran is like : he can't see for shit he has to lean close to see anything he sleeps all day and eats desserts

[all-doggirls-go-to-heaven-2]

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BRAZILLIAN PIZZAS.

Im ngl i would be much more pleasant to people talking about "oh Brazilian food is weeeeeird" if they had an ounce of like. Self awareness. Like fude if a country is big enough half a dozen restaurants are gonna do buckwild shit. Like people dont realize that theres weird stuff from china or Brazil because theyre big fucking countries! Somewhere, a mfer is gonna do something crazy with food! So yeah we got people stuffing weird stuff in pizzas and sushi - they're things that immigrants (italians and japanese and syrian lebanese are the majority of immigrants in Brazil.) gave to us, and we consider them "extravagant" food (uh oh social disparity in brazil?) So! When brazillian people want to have extravagant food that is 1. Not that pricey and 2. Extremely indulgent, we just fuck everything up with what we consider tasty and we know beforehand! Not a hard concept to grasp!

Also!!! Can I just say!!!! That its really funny that the americans and the BRITISH of all people keep doing this. When Wigan Kebab is a thing. When fried butter is a thing. Theres a thousand american and british foods that I personally consider revolting and extremely weird but if I say something, you say "oh those arent common foods, its not a good sample of what the culinary is like" but when I say that shit about Brazil you're like "haha, yeah, I saw those pictures. You're not fooling me, third-worlder. Your food habits are disgusting and we are closing yet another traditional restaurant to open a KFC."

Im just really angry at imperialists who get a little too buddy-buddy about what my country eats. Yeah man, we have different eating out habits as you. Not AS different as you would like to think, tho. If you dont know what is in a traditional feijoada (without googling it) and WHY it is the way it is, i do NOT trust your opinion on Brazillian food. Culture is important, dipshit.

E vão tomar no cú, gringos de merda.

[actualbird]

have you noticed that time’s antiques has a CRAZY amount of ceiling lights? and whenever luke is there every light is on? his electricity bill must be absolutely crazy. not to mention he has a literal DARTBOARD in his detective office. this has led me to realise that not only is his taste in clothing questionable but his interior design skills are also bizarre

omfg yes YES luke's interior design tastes are BIZARRE and hes a WEIRDO (affectionate)

i now feel possessed to screencap everything in his building that i am either baffled by or want to point out because i found it cool. buckle up, i (as always) have a lot to say

so let's go on a tour of luke's home

FIRST FLOOR: THE ONE FREE OF MOST SIN BY VIRTUE OF BEING AN ANTIQUE SHOP

a lot of my confusion here can be waived since it's an antique shop and those are meant to be crowded and kitschy and maximalist, thats their whole Thing and i love that. like, the lights, which uve already commented on, there are SO MANY but theyre charming to me here because it fits, this disparate chaos but still emanating warmth

tho that being said ive noted down some bits that do still pique my interest

EXHIBIT A: antique cash register. given its placement on the counter/main table, i assume it's used for actual business and not an item for sale. of course, it could just be for display, but im jarred because it's right next to the High Tech Touch Screen. do people in stellis even pay with cash anymore? they seem to be hugely digital even in currency. it'd be funny if this thing WERE used for actual business and it's filled with all of luke's loose change and coins that he has trouble getting rid of so he instead foists them off to unwitting customers

EXHIBIT B: my only real complaint for this portion because how can any customer get to those drawers, theyre BLOCKED BY OTHER STUFF

EXHIBIT C: alright antique TV but i cant tell if it's just showing a random VHS tape or if it's doubling as luke's CCTV camera display. cuz it kinda looks like CCTV display of a road. which, honestly, is pretty cool!! it's a fun marriage between old tech and new. this is something im less confused by and more just something i wanted to point out cuz it delighted me to think about

SECOND FLOOR: NOT NECESSARILY CONFUSING BUT GOD IT IS SO MESSY IN HERE LUKE LET ME IN HERE I NEED TO CLEAN THIS ROOM

EXHIBIT A: certificates!! this is cool, i wish we could see them clearer. i guess these could be luke's PI certification though maybe one of them could also be his master's degree? which would be odd to have displayed in a detective agency given his degree is in bioengineering but itd be funny to match vyn who has his Two Doctorates on display in his office HAHA

EXHIBIT B: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT C: door with 221 B on it which i think is super cute. hes such a nerd hes just got that blatant sherlock reference in his literal detective agency office, so everyone who walks in will know that he is not only a detective, but also a fanboy. im not sure if this door is what leads to his third floor home but itd be SO LOVELY if yes!!

EXHIBIT D: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT E: peanut's bird perch!!!! this is endearing to me because it looks like such a....such a Gym Flavored Bird Perch kjhJHVSDFH LIKE it's made of metal and chains and not at all like most bird perches u'd find that are usually a wooden or more natural design. this is a bird perch for birds that work out. maybe luke made this for peanut himself to get peanut to exercise. peanut is offended by this. peanut perches on it regardless

EXHIBIT F: luke, please tidy up and god if u keep missing throwing trash into the trash can just moVE THE TRASH CAN CLOSER TO UR DESK

EXHIBIT G: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT H: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT I: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT J: luke, please tidy up

EXHIBIT K: dartboard!!! which u mentioned. i like that it's here in the detective agency office floor because i get to imagine luke stumped on a case and then playing some darts to help himself refocus <3

THIRD FLOOR: LUKE PEARCE, I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS

EXHIBIT A AND EXHIBIT B: okay my question here was gonna be "hoop lights?? tiny ladder????" but i answer it myself in a post wayyy wayyyyyy back where i talk abt how i think these interesting furnitures are there for Peanut Pearce Enrichment. it simply makes no sense if i dont assume this, but that aside, it's endlessly endearing to me to think that luke has fashioned a bunch of his living space to give joy to his emotional support birdson. imagine peanut hopping up that tiny ladder! or flying thru one hoop light and perching on another! avian paradise :D

EXHIBIT C: luke's palette bedframe....god this thing drives me nuts. it's not BAD but what gets me about is that it seems like such a stub-ur-toe hazard, a bruise-ur-lower-shin hazard, and a tripping-over-this-corner-that-sticks-out-and-is-on-the-path-of-foot-traffic-otw-to-the-kitchen hazard. the clumsy will be HARMED!!!!! LUKE, WHY WONT U GET A PROPER BEDFRAME!!! OR AT LEAST FIX THIS BEDFRAME TO BE THE EXACT SIZE OF UR BED SO IT ISNT THAT MUCH OF AN INJURY MAGNET JKAFVAJHFVA im on my knees....

EXHIBIT D: why on earth does he have a whole cupboard filled JUST with camera lenses. wait brb //asks a friend who is has a professional photographer dad............ok nvm hes off the hook for this one, apparently this is normal for photographers. im simply diagnosing luke with dedicated nerdery once again then. i love him dearly.

EXHIBIT E: HE WAS A GAMER BOI, SHE SAID SEE YA L8ER BOI!!!!! man peep all them games!!!! and his consoles next to them!!! i hope luke plays matches against other ppl and that hes Fucking Terrifying to other players. i know we've seen him game with mc and hes mostly adorable, but when hes gaming against non-mc individuals......i hope luke pearce is accidentally going Raven Mode against some random 13 year olds in apex legends or something. just because itd be so damn funny.

EXHIBIT WE'RE SAVING THIS FOR LAST: this is the most baffling to me among all the things in this whole building. it's a....trash can? but Not. it's a large trash can shaped container used for containing things, which, okay, that could work. but luke is using it to contain MAGAZINES????? AND ROLLED UP PAPERS?? im speechless. that is simply the most non-intuitive container to go for when thinking "hm, where should i put these objects made of paper, a material famously known for their flatness" aND HIS CHOICE OF CONTAINER IS A CYLINDER ?¿¿?¿??¿????LUKE!!!!!.

luke is a strange little guy. hes also the epitome of cluttercore. im obsessed with everything about him.

[oifaaa]

Hi i know a lot about greek mythology because i have adhd and its my hyper fixation and i saw the Apollo convo and wanted to throw my own two cents in,

while yes apollo was adopted from a god that originated in Anatolia and spread to Egypt by way of Syria and Palestine, that does not mean they are the same god

kind like how the Christian god, the muslim god and jewish god are all deprived from the same god but arent the same god, theyre all different when you take a deeper look into their mythology, like theyre all different respectively

also im a big fan of percy jackson and its similar to how rick explains the difference between the roman and greek gods, they might be from the similar myths and origins but they arent the same

so yes apollo is absolutely his own god in greek, roman and anatolia mythology, also i dont feel like looking this up rn but im like 90% positive hes tan in the pjo series but i did finish it a year a go so im not sure

See that's what I thought religions just like stealing stuff from each other doesn't actually mean it's the same gods especially when it comes to gods like the Greek gods where a lot of it wasn't written down and more stories told which is why there's some disparity between stories but yeah I actually still really like how Rick handled the whole god thing that he makes a point of saying all God exist that's why when apollo becomes mortal the sun still rises since there's other sun gods that do it - I've also heard that Jesus is mentioned in the norse god books and that thor has beef with him and I just find that so funny I need to read those books at some point

[its-not-a-pen]

i am so sorry to say this to you, but have you ever considered that maul and jar jar are just garfield and odie in space.

YOU'RE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT!!! I RESPECT YOUR CLARITY OF VISION.

I think jar jar and jedi!maul would be the perfect odd couple. on the surface they seem like totally disparate personalities, one is an disciplined warrior the other a clumsy clown, but they've both struggled with feelings of inadequacy, childhood trauma and the fear of rejection.

Maul is afraid that he will never truely belong in the jedi order because of his sith upbringing. he's known fear, hatred and pain. He's endured unimaginable suffering as a child and he's afraid that his trauma will make him a ticking timebomb, that there's some hidden darkness in his heart and one day the jedi will see it and cast him out. As a result, he is obsessed with being perfect and irreproachable. It's a defensive mechanism, just like jar-jar's goofiness.

They'll be positive influences for each other, Jar Jar learns to be assertive and Maul learns to loosen up. They learn that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love.

Also, the whole catboy vs dogboy personality thing is SOO funny. they LITERALLY cannot communicate with each other when they meet. straight up comedy of errors.

Jar Jar: I HAVE NOT RECIEVED ANY WORDS OF AFFIRMATION SO IM GOING TO ASSUME HE HATES MY GUTS AND WANTS ME DEAD.

Maul: *is frantically slow-blinking and purring, while wearing the galaxy’s most terrifying resting bitch face* this is going great! im going to get a good grade in Friendship, which is normal to want and possible to achieve. Btw this fic is on ao3 now!

[cup-and-chaucer]

Romantic Comedy and the Curse of Booktok

I just finished Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfield and my Lord in Heaven do I have feels about it.

And not butterflies at how cute it was.

This was not It for me in so many ways and, in fact, it’s flaws were so great and so significant to me that I do feel compelled to write it all out in a *insert drum roll* numbered list.

Summary: Heroine Sally works at a fictionalized version of SNL and is frustrated by the fact that all these uggo sloppy men hook up with hot beautiful women. She, an uggo sloppy woman, then ends up hooking up with a hot beautiful rock star Noah Brewster during the COVID-19 pandemic.

1. The Pacing and Information Dumping

The pacing of this book was…bizarre to say the least. The book was divided into three sections. The first describes the week that Sally and Noah meet. The second is an 80 page exchange of emails between the two as they reconnect online during COVID. The third describes their meeting and romance. All of these were slow in their own way.

The first section was laden with details about the production of a weekly episode of SNL. I found this pretty interesting actually because I am a fan of the show and show biz insider baseball always fascinates me. But as the book went on, this section felt increasingly waterlogged. We never meet many of the characters again and we never return to the SNL set. It does feel like it exists solely to prove that Sittenfield read Tina Fey’s Bossypants. This section, of course, is also…like. Not that funny. It’s just not. Physical comedy is incredibly hard to transcribe to the page effectively and so the descriptions of many of the sketches fell flat for me and also the banter was not anything more sparkling than you would find in any other romance book.

The second section was also incredibly mundane. I have developed deep and emotionally intimate connections online and I think this is not an unusual experience to have nowadays. And I am sure if someone read back the transcripts of email and text conversations with those people…they would also not be that interested (though they’d be more interesting Im sure than this). You would need our context to make those conversations sing and to understand why some mundane things meant everything. This correspondence felt dull but it was partially because, without watching how Sally felt when she got a notification, without hearing how Noah wrote and rewrote and rephrased his messages, it was hard to gauge how impactful the exchanges were.

The third section was fine. And again, I know what it’s like to fall in love with someone quickly but their whole relationship felt really rushed. Even here, conversations were weighted down by unnecessary exchanges about what to have for dinner, etc that didn’t move the scene’s actions or emotional arcs forward.

2. Where’s the Conflict?

So. I get that we all want to communicate openly and honestly with our friends and partners. On the page, it’s deeply boring though. This is why Noah Brewster sucks as a hero—he is literally perfect. He’s rich, handsome, emotionally aware, kind, considerate. He apologizes right away and sets appropriate boundaries.

All the potential juice in a conflict is side-stepped from the real ramifications of fame to beauty standards to COVID to wealth disparity. Even Chekov's wig is revealed to be Noah getting some hair transplants that are explained away in a single cuddle session. All is resolved through a series of petty fights and pat reassurances.

*yawns*

The problems in their relationship originate with Sally. She is drunkenly snarky to him at a party and that leads them to not speak for two years, she gets irrationally upset at Noah for dropping her hand in front of the paparazzi, she moves into a hotel the moment they discuss their future and come into conflict. These aren't bad plot points but fighting Noah is like fighting a piece of wet cardboard because he is always reasonable and always level-headed and almost always right.

I thought about this book when rewatching Joe Wright’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice this weekend. What I love so much about that book and both movies, what makes that one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time, is the fact that both Elizabeth and Darcy grow and change and their relationship is the catalyst of it. This is shown in different ways in each adaption. The 2005 version does a masterful job of showing different perspectives to create a classic misunderstanding and crossing of social wires while the 1995 focuses on Elizabeth and Darcy as truly and deeply flawed. Both work for me in different ways. What I love Colin Firth’s portrayal especially is that he genuinely is an asshole…he’s a good person but not a particularly nice or sensitive one. His attitude is the result of snobbery and classism, not a lack of street smarts (like McFayden’s Darcy who is mostly shy and awkward rather than suave as Colin Firth is when he handles the Wickham situation).

Romantic Comedy hints at wanting to be a social commentary but it ultimately fails because it doesn’t allow its characters to be impacted and warped by the society that they live in the way that Austen and Firth allow Darcy to be unlikable because of his social standing.

3. Beauty and Desirability

Soooooo....like. Sally isn't really unattractive. Sally's narration is focused on other people's appearances...Noah is hot, Henrietta and Viv are attractive, Annabelle is beautiful. She is not. The whole premise of the book is that Sally is not a model. But Sally doesn't actually defy any conventional beauty standards except to be...not the perfect specimen of 21st century beauty. She isn't described as being fat. She isn't described as being visibly disabled. She isn't described as hairy (except when she is shaving everything off). She isn't described as being particularly masc. She is white and so there's no examination of colorism or Western beauty standards. She's just...a normal looking white woman. And like, trust me, as a normal looking white woman who is pretty traditionally femme, of course I have insecurities too, and a lot of Sally's commentary was very relatable to my experiences in dating, in sexuality, in my relationship to other women I perceive to be more attractive than me. But that doesn't make the book particularly interesting or transgressive, especially because the beautiful women in the book don't have much of a personality or depth (looking at you, Ariana Grande caricature.)

I read Olivia Dade's Shipwrecked series last year. And these are pretty silly romances tbh, but what I love about them is that the women in them are fat, yes, but their fatness is part of their attractiveness. Dade manages to do this in a way that doesn't feel fetishizing or patronizing. The women are described as being beautiful because they simply are and the men who desire them simply desire them, not just because they have a great personality which *makes* them beautiful, but because what people find beautiful and attractive is diverse. Those books also deal directly with the challenges of being in a "mixed weight" relationship and it drives some of the conflict, particularly in the first book...eating habits, exercise, media representation, etc. In contrast, it doesn't seem like Sally either grows into her desirability or that Noah ever really expresses clearly that she is beautiful to him. He talks about how great their connection is and how much he wants to fuck her...but if my memory serves there's not a lot of *specific* talk about what she looks like, what *specifically* about her physical appearance she finds so repulsive and he finds so hot, if he likes what she wears. This isn't a beauty and the beast retelling where someone looks beyond someone's appearance to see the inner person. This isn't Cyrano de Bergerac where there is something that Sally feels is fundamentally unlovable about her...except sort of a general global malaise about her desirabilty. Sittenfield can't decide what to do with the premise of her own book except to do a pale version of "not like other girls" where Sally becomes the funniest, smartest person Noah has ever met even if, in his own words, he never would have gone after her if he had just seen her picture.

4. Show and Tell and the Self-Consciousness of Politically Correct Writing

All of my issues listed above could pretty much explained by the fact that Sittenfield chooses to tell, not show, nearly all of the story. We are told by Noah that Sally is desirable and he is in love with her....but we don't see much of their interactions beyond just...fucking. We aren't allowed the space to interpret actions and feelings, especially after the first section of the book ends. Even the emails are a cop-out. As a result, the book becomes very literal.

One of the best things my writing partner has ever said is that "Sex should be about everything but sex, and everything that's not sex should be about sex." But in this book? Everything is exactly as it appears and so the underpinning of their interactions lacks chemistry. As Noah says, he's not looking to seduce her. Which is very nice of him. But very unsexy. When they finally do have sex, I struggled to care. It didn't feel like a crescendo of boiling tensions, it didn't feel like anything except the next logical step when you date someone. It is a romance but without eroticism and sensuality. God, it's even set during a pandemic where touching and masking is essential. My God.

This can be expanded into my biggest criticism of the book which was the handling of the political references and diverse cast. The characters clunkily engage with the political ramifications of COVID and the Black Lives Matter movement. The characters tell us that they go to protests (we don't see it), Noah tells us that he thinks about intersectional feminism (is that likely in a teen heartthrob...see Mr Darcy commentary above), they talk about racism (though there are two Black characters in the book who do...nothing). We are told that they are good people with the correct political opinions so we like them. They reach the quota of having one (1) queer friend and one (1) PoC friend. We don't see them do the hard work of being good, we see them do the gymnastics of being palatable to the other one. It doesn't change the fact that this story presents an extremely traditional view of relationships: the heroine marries a wealthy white man and her two friends are mothers in monogamous relationships by the end. It makes every mention of every political event and opinion feel deeply disingenuous and the book as a whole feel so self-consciously written that it was hard to fully immerse yourself in it. I felt the author everywhere, pressing in from all sides, unable to allow her characters flesh and blood and conflicts deeper than a single conversation.

Argh.

[macarensesangles]

honestly The Ilberd Show thing u said is so funny and were considering making it the tittle of our self-ship blog because it really is the Ilberd Show there. and honestly its just... dunno it makes our heart hurt that Ilberd was obviously in so much emotional pain all through that whole thing. he was angry because he was grieving for his home and for his family and it just hurts that the game seems to sweep it under the rug to have a "extremism bad" message and thats not to speak of what some of the fandom says. and in the end he cared more about getting his family back home and give his people their home back it wasnt about him he didnt care if he would die in the process if he could give others hope even if he to do morally bad stuff for it. the need of the few versus the need of the many. we put more thought into him than the writers have damn.

ASHJFJPHOJP IM GLAD YOU LIKED THE ILBERD SHOW…if you do make it your title I’ll be so flattered that’d just be delightful.

it really is extremely tragic to look at the trajectory of ilberd’s life and the nature of his goals and the circumstances that led to the level of desperation it took to turn to such extreme measures. it’s SAD. ilberd is a good and noble person caught in an impossible situation and who has those qualities tested time and time again. he really deserves more consideration than as a bit villain, because he’s an extremely good character.

ffxii doesn’t have the room for some of the character-focused writing in xiv, but i would suggest you play it because gabranth is likely a LARGE inspiration for ilberd, and also it’s a very good game. gabranth is always in the back of my mind whenever i discuss ilberd and it really does gall me that despite their extreme similarities it’s only gabranth that fandom really remembers as noble and tragic. and I do think a decent portion of that disparity is racism :/

[spiribia]

i like to think the reason y'shtola noticed the disparity of stars body lurching back to camp with zenos aether camped inside of it but elected to just furrow her brow and go lets see where this goes is because the last time she tried taking a hands on approach in reaction to effed up star aether, she almost had everyone shot full of arrows in rak'tika greatwood. plus stars aether had gone through so many berserk shifts since then that she was like alright this doesnt feel that right...but im not saying anything...you guys handle it im sitting this one out. sidenote i think its incredibly funny that she evidently recognized thancreds and uriangers and even rynes aether in the greatwood but stars aether was so abominably ugly she was on the brink of killing everybody anyway

[daemondaes]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 !                

knowing  your  writing  partners  can  make  writing  together  a  lot  easier .  repost ,  DON’T reblog .

NAME:  Che (Shay, like Chevrolet, Chevalier, chez)

PRONOUNS:  she / they, but i don’t care much

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: discord! tumblr IM is a chore, but i put up with it

NAME OF MUSE(S):  Charity Ciapetti, who goes by Cherry Martini. Una Victoria Genevieve Naux, who keeps it to her surname. Elipo Piran paz Lagojir, who has been rechristened Ciel Lavoie. Dr. Hansel Hugo. do you see a pattern here?

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG: on tumblr alone, 10 or 11 years...my first rps here were on my personal blog and i had no idea there was even a rpc. including history off-tumblr, my first rp was around 20 years ago. it’s kind of a funny story...

BEST EXPERIENCE:  most definitely the friends i’ve made who have actually stayed...the people who challenge me creatively and help me grow as a writer.

RP PET PEEVES:  does purple prose count? maybe the emphasis on graphics, considering i consider myself more competent in drawing than photoshopping. i’d say specifically words like “ravenette” but i haven’t seen them in a long time.

MUSE PREFERENCES FOR ANGST / FLUFF / SMUT:  i can do all of them, but smut threads might not last long unless we’re really down and dirty into the mental/emotional aspect. otherwise, it’s sort of just the same old in-out. if i’m not in the right frame of mind, angst might take a while for me to respond to because i am totally not prepared to start tearing up over our muses LOL fluff is fluff. good in moderation, but but not much substance. i think a mix of everything is best? it’s been eons since i’ve had the opportunity to write a good adventure thread and i think that is a crime. there’s a lot of fun to be had in action/adventure, but i think you have to write it with the right person.

PLOTS OR MEMES: i love both, but sometimes, at the beginning, the best thing to do is to throw a meme at me so that we have a convenient way to test the waters between our muses. sometimes what you talk about OOC doesn’t end up playing out quite right IC, and it’s not ideal to box your muse in to suit a dynamic that isn’t what you signed up for. some of my best threads have started with memes and very little OOC communication, but i am a fiend for some deep plotting as well... 🤔 really, it depends on the muse and the mun!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i’m pretty flexible with length, though sometimes my replies can get lengthy when i get too excited. one-liners never stay one-liners for long. on the flip side, i really try to match length, so sometimes a novella can burn me out if my reply comes to its natural conclusion with a disparity in word count...i end up slaving over it to “pad” it out, even if it just means adding in descriptions of their surroundings!

BEST TIME TO WRITE: evenings. nights. usually. my shifts are variable, but i work better when i don’t have to worry about interruptions or distractions, so it’s usually after the house is asleep. what night is for me may not be night for you unless you’re also in PST/PDT. i think PST is behind most of the world? when i’m cozying in at 11pm, it’s already 7am for those of you in the uk LOL then again, sometimes i compose replies in my head while on the clock, so. a lot of these answers don’t tell much, do they?

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE:  for that, we’d have to narrow this down to a single muse...though i’ll say in general that most writers have at least one thing in common with their characters, even if subtle. sometimes, when i’ve been writing a certain character for a long time, i’m not sure if they’re becoming more like me or me more like them. they definitely get me out of my comfort zone, and that’s always good.

tagged: S T O L E N   tagging: you, who’s made it to the end (:

[figureinthedistance]

This is mean but im just obsessed w unscripted interactions between comedians of different calibres and how evident it makes the talent disparity. Especially when the less funny comedian is someone i really like, bc it makes the funnier comedian even more impressive. Listening to john early on this podcast and its literally like yeah hes just a star... Especially it being audio only bc he does sooooo much with his voice like as well as just knowing funny things to say he has so much range w the ways he can say them. Truly there are levels

[sanguinaryrot]

the more i listen to silence! the musical the more frustrated i get with the characterization. i said when i saw the saw musical that i was having trouble grasping the idea that a parody could fuck up characterization but i don’t like the way they handled Clarice. And im fully aware that there is a disparity between how i view saw and silence. as much as i genuinely love saw and think it is a modern masterpiece i also recognize its goofy as fuck. i sincerely love it but i can also mock it. But i do genuinely feel that i have Silence on a little bit of a pedestal. It’s one of only three movies that won all of the Big Five Oscars and while i don’t put a lot of stock in the Oscars it really does make it feel Important. and it genuinely is one of the best films ever made in my opinion. Hannibal Lecter is so fucking iconic and while he exists in other media and predates the silence movie, the average bear would say he’s from silence of the lambs. im digressing. Nothing is above criticism but i do recognize that despite holding that belief i also believe you need a really good argument in order to critique this movie and the nature of the parody is to exaggerate in order to poke fun and i just feel some of the things they rely on are like. okay…so? “Clarice sounds funny!” Okay. to what end. “Ardelia serves no narrative purpose!” No she stands in as the audience when Clarice needs to speak to the audience but can’t just stand in a white room speaking directly into the camera. idk. there are some really excellent parts. their Hannibal (Brent Barrett) hits some beautiful notes, and i love how insidious he sounds during It’s Me. In fact the musical performances were great overall. I really like that Quid Pro Quo is a tango. It really emphasizes the back and forth nature of their interaction. I love some of the melodies of these songs (my faves are The Right Guide, It’s Agent Starling, Quid Pro Quo, and Catherine Dies Today) I agree that it was pretty silly how Clarice goes “Doctor Lecter. Doctor Lecter. Doctor Lecter.” all monotone at the end and actually did laugh at that. And these things make me like it enough to keep coming back, but I do skip parts because I feel they kinda fall flat. and that’s what you missed on glee—Uhh. I mean Hannibalverse

[prettiestcowgirl]

I feel like I never say anything loving about my boyfriend on here. He is kind, he is, but I wish he was more human.

I was in beauty school when he and I met. He was a refreshing, soft face with simple words amidst games, nonsense, petty jabs, drinks on a Tuesday night, etc. He sweat through his shirt out of nervousness on the first date. He walked with me for five hours around my neighborhood. He was a little dumb. I think he assumed girls liked nice cars. Some do. I don’t care. His car gave me motion sickness and I told him “not too fast”. He caught my last word and floored it on the backroads. I almost threw up and he had to pull over to give me fresh air. He let me drive when I felt better.

Here’s the funny part: I predicted everything. We pulled up to my house and I told him that the disparity between our lifestyles will be the end of us. He is rich (don’t listen to him when he says upper middle class; he makes more than most combined households). I am not rich. Furtherest thing from it. I told him that if he’s okay overlooking it than I am willing to try.

A few days after our second date, all of this taking place in the late days of august, my best friend and I got ice cream. I stabbed at my cup with my spoon, hoisted my legs up on the bench and leaned into his shoulder, “watch,” I said, “this guy and I are going to date for two years and then it’s just going to crumble apart.”

Two years is this August. He admitted that he doesn’t want me to move to a city six hours west with him because I’m too financially unstable. I sat in the passenger seat with the heaviest heart imaginable. He sat there telling me what he wants…Oh god, they always do that. They always want want want want. I am never on that list of things. I am just there to bear witness to them and everything they fucking want. I can relay these things off to anyone who asks, i know their bullet points like they were branded into forehead; because they are my instructions, they’re the conditions for their unconditional love.

I said it; “why is it always what someone else wants? Why doesn’t any guy ever ask me what I want from them?”

“Okay, you’re right, what do you want.”

“I want someone to like me enough to move out with me.”

Oh, but any person can do that. Roommates can be strangers. I know what I said, but it’s not what I meant. I didn’t have the confidence to say that I wanted someone to feel like they can’t live without me. I want someone to share this life with. I listen to our house by crosby, stills, nash, and young and cry because im embarrassed to admit that it is all I ever wanted. How do I say that?

He held me in the street after the fact. He kept saying he doesn’t want to break up, he wants to do long-distance, he wants me…

Sure you do, I thought. They always want you, but they want everything else too. If they could have everything, everywhere, all at once*, they would. They function the way black holes do.

*see what I did there. Still haven’t seen it though.

[gayspock]

🤨? bsg

like i feel like im getting more + more frustrated... bc whilst i am measuring my own expectations, and furthermore i dont EXPECT a show to align fully with my own perspectives, tht can only go so far like... i feel like everything rn is just confused about exactly what the hell theyre trying to explore here + theyre just doin whatever the fuck

like it feels directionless but not intentionally so. which it COULD be given what theyve done but i just.. god idk man. i feel like theres just so many good CONCEPTS that are floated in this show and theres tensions but so few get fully developed and more and more of the time its getting all over the place. and so theres these epic points of convergence - wherein they have done the legwork, and they know wtf is up - where the show is REALLYYY freaking good as all the disparate parts come together.... but as it goes on and theyre getting more and more infrequent and im like ok... like

like again going back to what i said abt whastever the fuck. like again i think so much of it is the lack of respect the show has for the civvies + the cylons. it put a lot of work into the fleet itself and the subtlies within it but everyone else gets half arsed or patronised and its insane, and so when you wanna incorporate those essential elements back in everything is sloppyyyyyyy.

like absolutely NOTHING!!!!!1 NOTHING!!!! on the civilian side is unreasonable but the show is so desperate sometimes to prove that it is. its so funny. and you can absolutely do a nuanced take on it- and they have done really good examples before, or have gotten close to it. bc so true sometimes what the "majority" wants isnt always best, and is swayed very much by emotion - and thats GREAT you can do a lot of commentary there on the politics of that. like i think whilst it was imperfect, gaius' election arc is a good example bc yes he won by doing exactly that, and, i think the reason why i like that arc was bc it was the emphasis on gaius being manipulative rather than everyone being stupid and unreasonable (even though there was some of that i mean the "blame" was on him). BUT you still have to concede and you cant just..... rig a fucking election and take away ppls choice, force them to do whatever the fuck you want because yes. that is authoritarianism and like OTHER EPISODES like dirty hands show very well that these grand sweeping choices made by the president/military have such ill-effects on the everyday ppl that they dont even care about or see AND ITS LIKE YEAH THAT

BUT THEN ITS LIKE. RN. IS IT FUCKING AT ALL RIDICULOUS THAT PPL WOULD WANT TO OVERTHROW ROSLIN AND ADAMA? REALLY? like- its always ZAREK again bc hes depicted as some slimy extremist, and dont get me wrong i dont doubt sure he could have some ulterior motive, but he is a construct, he was written in that way, etc. so its just like.... SO TELLING that hes the villain when literally everything he WANTS is a) reasonable but also b) against the status quo established like... HE ISNT FUCKING WRONG. HE WASNT BEFORE, EITHER!!!! like roslin is not fit to be president from an objective pov. even if her visions are ultimately "correct" at this point in the show fucking... SEE HOW THAT LOOKS TO LITERALLY EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE HUMAN RACE. THEM STRONGARMING EVERYBODY INTO THEIR OWN DECISIONS, REPEATEDLY REFUSING TO LISTEN TO ANY OF "THE PEOPLE" TO DO WHAT THEY THINK IS RIGHT AND LEVERAGING THE MILITARY, ETC. TO GET THAT... LIKE HUH AND HEY ?

AND THATS THE THING THAT MAKES IT FRUSTRATING ALL THE MORE BC. this would be such a good fucking plot if they COMMITTED TO IT properly and just had more fucking teeth about it. quit fucking presenting zarek as some cartoonish slimeball; put more fucking criticism ONTO adama and roslin. stop saying "oh adama is so anti-authoritarian" and fucking put your pussy into showing that or showing his actual internal struggle with it. like for REAL for real- something that lasts more than 2 seconds. quit being so all over the place and FOCUS.

AND WHILE YOURE AT IT OH MY GOD IM SOMAD ABOUT EVERYTHING THEYVE DONE WITH THE CYLONS AT THIS POINT. LIKE IM NOT. because its as equally half arsed at this point and its just so... NOTHINGGGG .... you kept HALF ARSING the cylons before and i thought it was just mystery and intrigue but you girlies just clearly dont care enough and now ugh fuckiNG GOD its so flimsy bc ... its not my favourite route, but i am okay-ish if you did wanna try the fucking attempt at using them to be like ohoh arbitrary differences keeping us divided shtick and do the whole ah yes minority allergory thing from hereon if its done right but youve been so fucking LAZY with them and so im just feeling. my hackles every time you try some shit th- WHATEEVERRRR RANT OVERRRR IM TIRED TODAY WE ARENT DOING TI

[rosafione]

"Come Closer."

title; How Far Will I Fall, 'Till You Catch Me In your Arms

pairing; xiao x reader

desc; you never really lacked the guts for these kinds of things, but before everything else, you valued his feelings, and most of all, his consent. in the end, it still takes two to tango.

a/n; xiao drabble xiao drabble xiao drabbleee now, he might be ooc, im not sure, but this is mostly just an hc if you guys are close— to an extent muahahahahaha

Time was at a standstill for a certain young adeptus.

For someone who's lived a millennia, you'd think two months would only feel like a second. Before, Xiao would not deny the frequency of those moments— of loneliness, and melancholy; Of time spent watching the Guyun Stone Forest and awaiting his time to strike.

Every day that passed was one spent with his guard high, back then.

And yet now, those moments seemed as if they existed in a far different time. A time before the Traveler plunged Osial into the ocean, stripping them of their adeptal duties and eliminating a cause for Liyue to seek their guidance.

Though possibly the greatest disparity from that time could be that.. It was a time before you— before he had you by his side.

You were a mortal, one he considers to be above average, yet a mortal, nonetheless. You still had times where your humanity catches up to you, and you are left vulnerable in the hands of the evil that lurks among the lands of Tevyat.

Xiao met you at your weakest; But he watched you grow into your shell.

It wasn't as if he regarded you with any special fondness. At first. You were no different from any other mortal that walked Liyue— a fragile creature he was tasked to protect, and a being he needed to steer clear off, lest he harm you with his adeptal energy. (Death from the sheer force of it was no stranger to him. He does not want to carry another human's death on his shoulders.)

Xiao had a complicated relationship with the mortal realm. It was not disdain he harbored for humans, only vigilance and curiosity.

Their realm and the adepti's were two worlds apart.

What differed you from the mortals is that you crossed that distance. And somehow, you stood before him, right in the in between.

He wonders how you do it; You've always been unyielding in his presence. He knows you are aware of his prowess, but every time he looks at you, there is nothing but fondness and adoration he sees in your ancient gaze.

You offered him Almond Tofu almost every day. It makes him anticipate your troubles, yet you do no else other than indulge him in small chats, and silly escort commissions into the mountains or the forest. At times, you'd just watch him feed on your offerings.

He knew it was a bribe, the Almond Tofu. You did it almost everyday— Until you didn't have to.

At some point, Xiao stopped denying your presence. He's warned you enough— He respected you enough to know that you were an adult, and you could think for yourself. And though the moments you'd offer him were memories worthy to look back on, he dares not seek you out.

But he didn't have to. You always came to him first.

His relationship with you only grew from there. It was no earth-shattering occurrence, that's for sure. It was a parasite that he didn't know had been rooting itself into his being so deeply that he cannot bring himself to part with it.

Though if not a shocking event, it was still a crushing revelation.

"Good day, Xiao."

The lady-in-charge, Verr, seemed to be searching for something before her gaze flitted back to his. "No Y/N today?"

"Y/N is off to the harbour for a few days," he'd answered instinctively as he walked to the usual table prepared for him near the kitchen.

"And you didn't come with?"

His slit brows raise in confusion. "Why would I?"

"Oh dear, my apologies. I just figured—" a bashful chuckle leaves her— "Since I see you guys together all the time."

He frowns at the memory. It was a realization that started his resolve to put some distance, yet it was also the beginning of your.. lengthy travels.

When your few days became a few weeks, his resolve easily yielded to his eagerness in meeting you once more.

-

Time used to pass by swiftly, but nowadays, a year spent with you feels as if he had already spent half of his life.

He sighs, shaking his head at himself. "Reduced to just standing around. How absurd."

"If you think standing around was such an absurd concept then why do you still reject the idea of travelling with me?"

The familiar voice wills him to rip his gaze away from the scenery.

He knows it is yours— your steps, your scent, your weight, your presence. Xiao feels you the moment you stepped into the inn. Yet he does not move, run, nor show any sign of the buzz that vibrates from inside his chest.

Yet when he sees you, you are beautiful, safe. Ephemeral.

He forgets every aching minute he's spent in the eight weeks you were not in his vicinity.

Time runs again.

Still, everything about you is slow; The way you walk carefully to his side, the way you drag your fond gaze from his, to the scenery before you.. The way your hair flows and dances with the evening breeze.

He knows. The wind has always favored you.

"Ever since meeting the Traveler, all you've talked about is travelling," he chose to say.

"With you."

"What?" he frowns.

"I mean that yes, all I've talked about is travelling—" you chuckle bashfully, averting your eyes away from his— "That is, travelling.. But with you."

His eyes widen, then hardening with a purse of his lips, before he turns to glare into the distance. "My answer will not change. I cannot leave Liyue."

"And my reply is the same," you sigh. "The place does not matter. As long as we'd be together."

It is a sensitive topic, and an inevitable taboo.

There was a line neither of you should ever cross— a line he's put there himself, and one he disdains all the same.

Silence ensues. It is a frequent occurrence, ever since you first brought up the prospect of adventuring. Stubborn and troublesome. Xiao finds himself needing to track back in conversations just to figure you out.

Mortals were such complex creatures.

And yet it was so easy for you to read him like an open book. Or so he assumes. You always knew how you'd deal with him. Even Xiao knows that it is no easy feat.

"You're always like this," he grumbles.

You do not answer, and he settles for the tranquility, all the tension leaving his body; And for once, after two months, he felt as if he could actually breathe.

He wonders how much longer he'd be stuck in this area of torment and bliss. Wonders how much longer he'll continue to drag you into it.

Wonders when you'll snap and just leave him all together.

He frowns grumpily at the thought.

-

"Can I?" you ask.

Xiao looks into your eyes— swirling hues that didn't return his gaze, far focused on a lower part of his face. His lips, he realizes. Your gaze had been focused on his lips.

The epiphany wills a streak of crimson to rise to the tips of his ears, and his own focus is stolen away by the pink appendage that wets your lips.

"Your question is incomplete," he says instead, feigning ignorance.

Shaking his head, Xiao crosses his arms and forces himself to concentrate on your eyes. Only on your eyes.

Maybe then, he wouldn't get so distracted.

"Regardless of how your question would go, I don't understand why you need my opinion," he huffs, grumbling. "It's your body. You would know it best."

You press your lips together. A gentle, bashful smile spreading on your face as a fond look emerges in your eyes. "My apologies," you chuckle. "It was the wrong question to ask."

He faces you to narrow his eyes at your suspicious behavior, but he's far too distracted by the way your hand lifts, trailing from the side of his neck to gently cup his cheek, and his breath hitches, eyes widening.

Warmth radiated from your touch. Xiao knows better than to reject such touches any longer when with you. So he leans into it, presses his head closer to your palm, closing his eyes and exhaling in surrender.

"What i meant to ask was," he opens his eyes to look at you.

Your gazes clash. They meld and melt into each other as you slowly raise yourself closer and closer — or perhaps it was him who'd been leaning down.

The hand that traces the tattoo on his right arm, as well as the other that caresses his face with an aching gentleness, reels him in. enthralls him. It lures him into succumbing to your presence, and his body goes through that familiar feeling of softening under your touch.

"May I?" you whisper.

Suddenly, you are leaning in more eagerly— more determined, as if with a clear intent in mind. He thinks he understands your words enough now, swirling in his mind, goes through consideration, and the one practical response he could muster with his focus in a jumble is to deny you permission.

He gulps soundly; He can't bring himself to.

Xiao thinks this is it, watching you move in as he struggles to keep his eyes from fluttering shut. He thinks it would be this moment— this moment in which he dooms the unspoken rule between mortals and adepti. Dooms the contract he's worked so hard to fulfill in service of Lord Morax, now Zhong Li. He'd doom your friendship, or whatever it is you've offered him up to this point.

Yet even then.. Even then, he doesn't say no.

He stays quiet; Waiting. Wanting.

It's funny— the mortal language, how one could switch out a letter, and a word would seem that much different.

It was true, nonetheless.

Xiao waits. Xiao wants.

He wants the closeness, the intimacy— the affection you provide. He wants your lips to meet his just to know if it is as soft as the rest of you is. He wants to see if a kiss— curious, like a child— truly lives up to the countless tales told by the experienced. He wants to know.. If you will give him those answers.

His amber eyes meet yours. He does not breathe, as if doing so would scare you away. As if doing anything would give you a response he does not want to give.

It is enough. Your noses bump for a second, his eyes fluttering closed; Your scent wafts from beneath his nose, crisp burning incense, molded into the fresh smell of the forest that is brought about by the wind.

He curves into you, a single thought shaking him to the core, making him tremble - so utterly pathetic.

'Please..'

Your lips do not meet.

And suddenly, there is too much air between you and him.

Xiao opens his eyes to see you trailing back, fidgety— you looked like a walking contradiction, twitching fingers trying to cross the distance, gaze darting between looking away or staring regretfully at his lips.

There was a crimson hue staining your cheeks, he noticed.

"Why.." he whispers, then catches himself.

The inside of his chest strains from all the emotions he has to keep hidden— all the emotions he has to keep denying.

Disappointment. Loneliness. Exhaustion. Desperation.

Xiao wants.

-

You couldn't believe you almost kissed him.

It was a heavy violation of contract— not that you two had ever agreed to one, but it was an unspoken compromise. It was a truth you both knew, yet continued to ignore.

So that this— whatever this was, could survive.

Archons, you almost laid it all to waste!

(Either way, any decision would still leave you with regrets, had you continued or pulled away.)

"Ah, would you look at that!" you laughed out loud in a panic, perhaps to cover up the tense atmosphere. "I did it again! I asked a question without completing it, yeah? Guess it's a really bad habit on mine!"

Xiao does not answer. You spare him a look. And you wish you hadn't.

He looks dejected, disappointment and frustration showing through his slit eyebrows and wide eyes.

As if your choice was a surprise to him.

As if he wanted you to continue.

As if.

You couldn't deny you wanted it, too. Whatever he could give you. And, more.

You mentally scold yourself, knowing you're already stretching Xiao's patience with your friendship as it is.

You have to remind yourself that Xiao is immortal, and no matter how humane he may seem, you cannot trouble him with matters such as the turmoil in your heart.

It's really hard to say anything, when all the thoughts that circle in your head is how wonderful he is. How amazing he makes you feel. How he is all you've ever wanted for the whole year since you've realized you'd developed a certain affection for him.

"Sorry, Xiao," you say, throat tightening with bubbles of emotions threatening to spill. "I should.. Go away, for some time."

( And the first thing Xiao thinks is to dejectedly reply 'Again.?' )

"No," he says all too quickly, detaching from the banister.

"No?" you echo, confused. "N-no what?"

"Stay," he says, but it is not a command. Not from the adeptus. It is a soft request; A wavering plea that reaches to you soul.

"Where?" you ask. 'How far?'

"Here," he whispers now. "With me."

You push your luck, craving just a bit more patience from Xiao.

"Close?"

You could see Xiao consider. His eyes showing his heart, but his silence showing his mind.

He gives in.

"Close."

That day was the nearest you've peered, held and embraced Xiao's soul, moving closer, and softly leaning your forehead on his, clenching onto the white fabric of his shirt as he loosely wraps an arm around your waist— under the watchful eyes of the night sky.

There is still a distance that Xiao dares not cross.

And for now, maybe it's enough.

[dykesprentiss]

ok so. i know a lot of this has probably been said before, but i wanted to put my two cents in. very rambly and disorganized because i am just like that.

i think everyone in this fandom needs to examine the way they interract with male vs female characters. why is it easier for you to focus on and create content for male characters that have appeared in 2 episodes maximum, then it is for the women that are in the main cast? why do you gravitate towards ships between two male characters who have never met (specifically jonah and like. his harem of old british men. usually based on one single line of dialogue) then the actual, canon wlw relationships?

like dont get me wrong, when lonely eyes first started cropping up it was funny! i enjoyed it, i enjoyed the multiple divorce jokes, because it was a small fandom in joke that made fun of some old bastards. and now its the second most popular ship in the fandom. now its so popular, people think its canon before they start listening. why are you unable to muster that same kind of enthusiasm for any of the female characters? gertrude and mary have very similar appeal to lonely eyes, and yet its a fringe ship that nobody ever talks about. gertrude and agnes have very significant moments and mentions in the podcast, and yet the only people i see talking about them are wlw.

or we could talk about michael and helen! helen who, as of this moment, has become a key player in the storyline. helen who yeeted michael out of existence, who took over the power of the distortion by her own choice, and with her own strength. and so often i see her relegated to "vodka aunt that coos over jonmartin" is that a bad take on her? of course not! but having her only purpose be to comment on the male characters rubs me the wrong way.

lets talk about elias and mary. elias gets praise, and love, and devotion, regardless of the horrible things he does. the entire fandom has the reputation of eliasfuckers now because everyone goes so crazy for him. mary is just as evil, has just as sexy a voice (i assume lol cause tbh? eel eyes does not do it for me and never will), and people just. hate her. full stop. why is that?

it seems like manuela has been. completely forgotten. i Never see anyone talk about her. she has just as much appeal as the male avatars, so why are you so uninterested in her? sasha and tim have the same amount of importance, and both have died, but there is So much more focus on tim. why.

daisy/basira and melanie/georgie are incredibly well developed relationships, their stories are as beautiful and tragic and intimate as jonmartin, but the f/f and m/m fic ratio on ao3 is abysmal. because it seems to me that the only people writing about them are wlw.

which happens.....a lot. het relationships and gay relationships are for everyone, but lesbian ships? thats just for gay women. everyone goes head over heels for mlm movies, regardless of sexuality, but wlw movies never receive the same kind of treatment. why.

this isn't even touching on the. blatant and disgusting fetishising of mlm. elias is evil because hes gay and skanky. tim is bi so he must sleep around. tim and martin are both mlm in the same vicinity of each other so they must have had a friends with benefits relationship. jon/elias and peter/martin have significant age differences and power disparities, so they must have an incredibly fucked up sexual relationship. jon is ace, but yall just fully ignore that so you can write horny fic of him. (and im going to be completely honest, if you get legitimate joy from writing manipulative r*pe fic involving these characters, Especially involving an ace character, ( edit: i apologize for my wording here, i didnt intend to compare trauma between ace and non ace ppl. my point is that jon seems to be the main target in these fics, and that they seem to be a direct response to his asexuality. fic like this is bad regardless of who is targetted). than that is a big problem. you arent "exploring dark topics in a meaningful way" youre writing fucked up porn for your own sick enjoyment. get angry at me all u want lmao but i stand by that)

i could go on about this forever, but what im really asking is for people to look inward and ask yourselves why you are so against connecting and interracting with female characters? no one is saying you cant like the men, but if theyre the only ones you care about? thats a problem. there are more women in tma then there are men, but they still feel like the minority because of the way the fandom acts. this isnt just a tma problem either! you can put as many rounded out female characters as you want into your content, and every time without fail they will be pushed to the side in favor of the men.

and dont come at me with "oh if you want content of the women you should make it" like we fucking are. the issue is that wlw are the only ones doing it. just take a second and think. are you ignoring the female characters in favor of the men? why? why is that your first instinct? why do you not feel the need to go against that instinct?

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

hello!!! i'd like to request a piece of 🍰 please <3 apologies for incoming info dump about my Entire Life :| & thank u so much darling!

basic information — i use she/her and i'm bisexual, an infj, and a scorpio. a yachi kinnie :)

appearance — i'm a 5'0 asian girl with long black hair and dyed caramel tips! my body type is petit and skinny - lack of butt, unfortunately, but i got some tibby! overall im pretty tiny and always look younger than my age lol. i also wear glasses because i am Very Near Sighted, and my clothing style is a weird mix between cutesy-pastel-female-kpop-idol fits, indie teenage girl, and faux cottagecore.

personality — i'm a rather introverted person, but i'm trying my best to work on that. i have depression, anxiety, and adhd, but i'm always telling myself uplifting things and trying to work on my mindsets, so i'd like to say that i'm also sincere and compassionate! i'm also very adaptable and easily influenced by the behaviors of people around me. i think at first impression, i look standoffish and judgemental, but i think it's because i lack the confidence to say what i think and express my emotions, which i'm also working on! once i'm comfortable, i think i'm a very funny, intelligent, and caring person (i'm an extremely sensitive person and receptive to others' emotions — i cried a LOT watching karasuno v shiratorizawa 😐), but i can also tease and be a little sarcastic if the relationship calls for it. i get very affectionate and touchy with close friends too! long story short - i might seem awkward and quiet, but give me a moment— i'm trying, and i'll get there eventually, and i think that'll be worth waiting for. :)

hobbies — i like to do visual art things, like sketch pretty anime boys and also cross-stitch and make calligraphy! i'm a bullet-journaler :) i also love love LOVE learning languages and about different cultures, especially asian ones. i think i'm a pretty studious person when i get into it but i do procrastinate a lot T____T i'm also super into playing genshin impact, but i easily hop interests, so one day i'll be on this and the next, it's something else i'm rambling about. get ready to get ur ear talked off about wtv i love that week <3

likes + dislikes — i like anime, bts (!!), and otome games :> i also enjoy desserts, boba tea, flowers, and sudoku puzzles 🥺 i'm also a lover of learning, asian cultures, and dogs (also cats, but mostly dogs!) <3 i reallllyyyyyy want a pet snake one day too 🥺 family is also very important to me because i'm the youngest of 7 children! i dislike spiders snd working out (seriously the last person to want to do any type of fitness). all that "moving" jazz... volleyball is the only sport i'll probably ever even bother to learn the rules of LMAO but do not expect me to play i will eat the floor </3 my arms are sticks and i will simply embarrass myself

what i want/need in a relationship — i have a pretty idealistic idea of romance - i want someone perfect, but i know that's not realistic. at the very least, i want someone who loves me very much and is honest about that. they also need to let me be affectionate and clingy, and will be the same way back, even if it's just a little bit. i'm someone who needs love and affirmation rather consistently, like a freaking plant. i NEED someone who'll make sure i'm doing things and being productive, and someone who will actively encourage me to both be a better person mentally and physically get things done. they also should be able to take care of me (i'm a youngest child so i like being babied~) <3

this is very long, apologies! thank you so much for your wonderful matchups, they're so detailed and you work very hard on them, i can tell. thank you for your hard work!! kisses 4 u! <3

@mochiiswan ok I see you stealing my husband from me 🥲

Romantic Matchup

Bokuto Koutarou

How yall met

Girl you were just having a bad day

Nothing seemed to be going right

So you showed up for school in a rather gloomy mood

Bokuto didn't know you

But he still didn't like how sad you seemed

So he approached you

He basically just started making small talk to try to cheer you up

You dont know why but his energy did seem to be having a positive effect on you

Bokuto really liked talking to you

And he was glad he was able to cheer you up

The bell had rung signaling it was time to go to class

But bokuto didn't wanna leave you

So he asked if you wanted to come watch his volleyball practice after school

You agreed to go

You went to his practice and bokuto found himself trying to impress you

He didn't know why

Wait...

“AKAASHI I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH”

😳

Yeah he straight up yelled that…

While you were in there…

After a quick advice break from akaashi

He asked you out on a date :)))

What they love about you

He loves that you try to improve yourself

It's one thing to have issues

But to acknowledge those issues and to want to fix them truly makes a strong person

So he loves that you love yourself enough to improve on yourself

And he WILL help you in any way he can

Eek

He loves how sensitive you are

Bb boy is sensitive too

So he's glad he's found someone to cry with when a dog dies in a movie

(Also do any of you cry when a dog dies but doesn't when a human does? No? Just me?)

He loves how you value family

Im convinced bokuto is a family man

He loves his parents and his sisters more than anything

So he's glad he's found someone with the same values as him

HE LOVES HOW CLINGY YOU ARE

DO NOT EVEN HESITATE WITH THIS BOY

You can't tell me ocultos love language isn't physical touch

Come on now

LOOK AT HIM

You will get all the physical affection you could ever dream of

Favorite things to do together

Ok hear me out

He just likes going to the pound…

And looking at the animals with you

and/or

He likes volunteering at the animal shelter with you

You+cute animals=happy bokuto

Random HC

You drew him doing a spike once and he bout cried

Keeps the drawing in his phone case and pulls it out to brag

You take me as a hopeless romantic

And good news for you

Bokutos a hopeless romantic too :)

So your relationship is the closest to perfect relationships can get

He 100% keeps you on track

Mans is like a personal trainer istg

However don't expect to be productive with him around...

He did try to get you to play volleyball

And you did in fact eat the floor </3

Astrology

When Virgo and Scorpio join together in a love match, these Signs that are two apart in the Zodiac are brought together.

Their placement gives the relationship an intense karmic bond

The Virgo-Scorpio couple is loyal and deep, with very strong ties.

Virgo and Scorpio enjoy working together toward acquisition: Virgo wants order and Scorpio wants power.

Both of these Signs are about resources, including inheritances and property.

This couple is very service-oriented and known to be dependable.

They like to lend a hand to a friend or to the community.

Additionally, Virgo can be withdrawn — while Scorpio is more opaque and outgoing.

Because of the disparity, both Signs can learn from one another if they can agree to meet halfway.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury and Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto.

This combination is very heated, thanks to Pluto’s influence.

The two Signs unite to form the basic foundation of human relationships — Mercury’s communication and Mars’s passion.

Mercury and Mars go well together; Mercury is about the conscious mind, and Mars is about the passion of romance.

Scorpio is rambunctious and intense, and Virgo is attracted to this energy.

In turn, Scorpio needs the loyalty and practicality inherent in Virgo.

Overall Aesthetic

Pastelcore

Songs-

Are you bored yet - wallows

Strawberry Mentos - Leanna Firestone

Hey Lover - Wabie

Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens