#im like 5 years late but ya know

[risingsunresistance]

NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY...

[lady-djarin]

independent contractor

joel miller x f!reader (one shot)

fully inspired by this post

warnings/tags: no outbreak au, no sarah mentioned, but we can always pretend she’s at collage or something, infidelity by reader(reader’s hubby is an asshole), contractor!joel, age gap (late 20s/mid 50s) , masterbation (m), smelling of panties(?), sexting, oral (receiving), p in v (unprotected- don’t do that!!) general smut so children leave!! mdni 18+

word count: 6.1k

a/n: i understand not everyone is going to dig the infidelity thing so i get that, if you are not into that please just scroll on, thank you :)

* ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It was a beautiful dress but damn if it wasn’t complicated, the back had all these complicated buttons and clasps to hold it closed. You had managed to get yourself into the thin fabric but just as you needed your husband to close the dress, he had conveniently disappeared. He had been dressed for the party for a while and had been running around the house trying to organize the vendors. It was all for some charity thing he was throwing through his company. He was the CEO of some big company that even after 5 years of marriage you still didn’t understand. Something to do with finance? Maybe.

“Hon? Are you up here?” You huffed as you realized he was not in ear shot. Your husband had a habit of doing this, leaving right when you needed him in favor of something he needed.

You can now admit to yourself that the marriage you were in was a little rushed. Ok, maybe more than rushed. You were engaged within three months of meeting and married in less than a year. The first year of marriage was amazing, he would shower you with gifts and trips and practically worshiped the ground you walk on. It now felt like he only did this to rope you in. He began to take multiple long ‘work trips’ every month and you soon found evidence of an affair (or multiple). Once, there was long hair all over his clothes that was definitely not his or yours along with red lipstick smudged on a white shirt. Was he not even trying to hide it or did he just not care?

You had always told yourself that ‘you’d never be with a cheater’ and you wouldn’t fall prey to men who used women. Well, after a quick marriage, that you begged your parents to go along with, you felt like you had nowhere else to go. Your parents would not be happy and would surely find a way to blame you, and all your friends were also his. So, you kept your head high as your husband did as he pleased. You were now a forgotten trophy on the shelf he felt didn’t need polishing anymore. So you did as you pleased, with his money. One of the things you liked spending his money on was renovations to the house that you were usually alone in.

Currently, you were renovating the other side of the house to become a library/craft area for yourself. The contractor was actually at the house doing a walk through before the party got started. He happened to hear you calling for your husband from down the hall and came to your rescue.

“Sorry to disturb you ma’am, I think he went downstairs,” he was looking down when he first walked in, probably to make sure you were decent. What a gentleman.

“Of course he did, uhg,” you fumbled with the clasps behind your back and failed to make a difference.

“I can go get ‘em for ya?”

“No that’s ok Joel, thank you,” Joel Miller, one half of Miller Construction. He had been so great from the beginning, knowing exactly what you wanted for the library, seeing your vision immediately. He was very much the southern Texan gentleman, ‘yes ma’am, no ma’am’, no matter how many times you told him you hated it. “and please, Joel. I’m not a ma’am.” Your smile drew his eyes up.

”My mama would kill me if she heard me call ya’ anythin’ but, ma’am,” he stepped into the room, already coming to help even with your refusal. “I’m more delicate than ya think, im sure i can handle some buttons,” he came up behind you in the mirror and his soft touch on your shoulder blade made you inhale. You held the dress against your chest making sure he had room to fasten the small clasps. You caught his gaze in the mirror that was fixated on the dip in the front of the dress.

He matched your smile.

His surprisingly nimble fingers secure every last fastening and it feels like you can hear your own heart beating out of your chest. It had been a long time since you were looked at the way Joel was looking at you. He was a handsome man, big and rugged but soft in his features. He had these deep brown eyes that you could get lost in and lips that would make a nun blush. He was affecting you in ways your husband hadn’t done in years, he was turning you on. A complete stranger was turning you on and you didn’t really feel guilty.

Did that make you a terrible person?

You know what, fuck it. Your husband cheated and left you alone in life, you were entitled to some flirting every now and then.

“There ya are darlin’,” dear lord, his voice. The deep southern drawl made your panties wet.

“Thank you… Joel.”

”Enjoy the party,” watching him walk away was the hardest thing all night, aside from having to laugh at all your husband’s bad jokes all night. All night your mind was occupied by the sexy contractor.

~

It had been about a week since the party and the library reno was well underway. Joel and his team, including the other half of Miller Construction, his brother Tommy, were working tirelessly. In that last week your husband had been in and out of the house at weird times. On this particular day he left early in the morning without saying so much as a word to you. You used the day to mope around on your phone or read but what kept stealing your attention was the attractive contractor.

His team wasn’t around so the house was truly empty, the quiet was starting to drive you mad. As you wandered up the winding staircase, you found a sweatshirt draped over the railing. That damn husband, he leaves shit everywhere. Without thinking much of it, you threw the hoodie on as you found the library under construction.

The sweatshirt smells like sawdust and something distinctly man. That's different from what your husband normally smells like. The thought of him buying new cologne for some mistress almost made your blood boil, if you truly loved him anymore it would.

The library was really starting to come together, the plans on the table laid out the new shelves and built in table being put in and you dreamed of the days you would spend in there. The rest of your day was spent inside, no husband in sight so you did what you wanted, camped out on the couch with snacks galore and bad tv. Your husband eventually came home, after midnight, to find you passed out on the couch. You were roused by him, he woke you to send you off to bed. He used to carry you.

“Hey, get to bed, it's late… New hoodie?” Your eyebrows narrowed and you looked at him confused.

“What? It’s yours?”

”No it's not, I don't work at ‘Miller Construction’…” his tone felt like sandpaper against your skin. Also, have you been wearing Joel’s sweatshirt this whole time?

~

You wore it almost every day. Refusing to even wash it, it would get rid of the smell. The smell of him. It was like a drug, anytime your husband left you alone in that big house you wrapped yourself in Joel.

The rumble of the engine told you someone was at the house, but the deep southern drawl was what told you it was Joel. You felt giddy, like a girl with her first crush. You were already wearing the sweatshirt because you were expecting him today. He was leading his team of guys up to the library, telling them what to get started on. You made your way up there, under the guise of greeting Joel and asking if they need anything. In reality you wanted to see his reaction to you wearing his clothes.

“Morning Joel, you guys need anything?”

His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He noticed right away, scanning the hoodie and his gaze set your skin on fire. You felt your cheeks heat up as he stepped closer, the air was thick with tension and you immediately felt the mood change. His lips curved up in the corner slightly as he lowered his voice.

He looked handsome as always, the salt and pepper in his beard and hair was somehow very attractive to you. He was older for sure but you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t part of the attraction.

“Nice sweatshirt you got there…,” you could practically feel his heart beating just inches from you. “Miller.”

You had to strangle down a breath hearing his voice drop an octave like that, teasing you. This was real… Joel Miller, your contractor, was flirting with you. And you liked it, a lot. Not only the blatantly wrong flirting but the fact that your husband could come home at any time. It was making your skin flush with arousal and it felt like he could sense it somehow.

“I can wash it and get it back to you,” you wanted to gauge how into this he was. He did not disappoint.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Jesus christ.

“Keep it sugar, looks better on ya anyway,” he left you there, finally with enough room to breathe without inhaling his intoxicating cologne. Holy shit, holy shit!

Your mind never strayed far from the older man, you seemed to fixate on the memory of him crowding you in your own home. The rest of the day went smoothly, you went about your business as the Miller Construction crew worked on your new library. You could hear the men working upstairs and every time you heard that one specific rumbling southern drawl your heart stopped for just a beat.

You were screwed.

~

Joel’s day could not have been longer, though he was the only one that noticed. The rest of the crew worked through the day, trying to get their tasks done sooner rather than later to be able to go home on time. Meanwhile, he was thinking about the pretty wife of the man who is paying him. He knew it was wrong but damn if it didn’t feel good. He saw the way your husband acted around you the last few weeks, he was engaged in every conversation except ones with you. Joel could even tell that the man was cheating, he clearly wasn’t trying to hide it. That’s really the only reason he was letting himself indulge with you, that and you seemed to be on the same page as him.

He knew he was in trouble, he had already memorized your features, your lips haunting him most of all. Every time you spoke he was entranced, unable to look away from your mouth. This was so wrong, he was working for you and your husband. He couldn’t help it, you were perfect, everything he could ever want. He dreamed about feeling you under him and that thought kept him half hard in his jeans all day.

By the time he was set to leave he felt like if he didn’t get himself taken care of he was going to explode. All he could think about was you in that damn hoodie, and how he would bend you over with it on. He knew it would smell like you now, it would smell like both of you. As he hopped into his truck he was so distracted that he didn’t see you coming down the driveway towards his car.

“Hey Joel…” Fuck. “I just wanted to get this back to you before I forget.” The gray fabric already smelled like you from where you held it by his car window. Why were you giving it back? He told you to keep it.

”Oh thanks darlin’,” it wasn’t lost on him how your eyes sparkled at this nickname. You were in the most delicious little shorts, showing just enough of the tops of your thighs as you walked back into the house. Fuck, he felt like such a dirty old man. You were so much younger and bright and kind. He felt like he could never deserve you.

He threw the hoodie on the passenger seat as he felt another surge of guilt and arousal settle into this stomach. Just as he was about to pull onto the street, he noticed something much darker than the hoodie sticking out of the pocket. He pulled it to reveal a pair of lacy black panties.

His heart nearly stopped. He would have never expected this, a sweet girl like you leaving her panties in her contractors sweatshirt. His jeans became even tighter than before as he pulled the panties up to his face.

He really was a dirty old man.

They had clearly been worn and it made his head spin, they smelled like heaven and you, he worried he might cum at the smell alone. He needed to get home.

As he raced home with your underwear gripped in his hand, he battled his thoughts. He knew it was wrong to mess around with a married woman but he felt different with you already. You were like the light at the end of his very lonely tunnel, no one ever looked at him the way you did. He practically tore his front door off the hinges as he rushed up to his bedroom. He felt like a teenager with an uncontrollable boner trying to find release.

The black lace was tight in his grip as he shucked his jeans off, the constricting fabric making his blood boil. He pulled himself free and the first touch to his hard length caused a gravely moan to slip from his lips. Tension and heat gathered in his stomach as he stroked himself. His fingers were rough as they circled his weeping tip but he needed to feel relief. He couldn’t even get himself into the shower, he just dropped onto the edge of his bed and never stopped moving his hand.

Those dark panties were teasing him, you were teasing him. You had to be, maybe you were making fun of his obvious crush. No, there was no way you would have grinned like you did if you didn’t feel the same way. It was an offering, a way for you to make a move without being apparent.

Holy shit. You wanted him.

That made his lower muscles spasm suddenly and his orgasm started to barrel down his spine. He pictured you in your small shorts earlier that day and he lost it. A deep groan escaped his throat as he spilled all over his knuckles. He pumped until he was oversensitive, his whole body reacting until he fell back into the bed.

All night his brain juggled wanting nothing but you and telling himself it was wrong. And it was wrong, at least on paper, of course he shouldn’t be messing with a client's wife. Even if she wanted him back.

~

Last time you saw Joel outside his car was almost a week ago. It was driving you crazy. You worried that he took it the wrong way or didn’t even see them. You couldn’t decide if you should be mortified, nervous, turned on or all the above. Then your phone went off.

Usually the texts between you and Joel were regarding what materials or paint you wanted. Now it was something totally different.

5:04PM >Joel: Sorry I have not been to check on the progress of the library personally. There was an emergency at another job.

>Joel: Also, thank you for my gift.

Only someone like Joel would thank you for sneaking him a pair of your panties.

5:09PM <You: im glad you liked them

<You: i was a little worried…

Your heart was thundering in your chest. Your husband was right across the couch, engrossed in his baseball game more than you, per usual. Was it wrong to like this so much, the fact that he had no idea you were texting another man right now, in front of him.

5:12PM >Joel: Why would you be worried? It's the best gift anyone’s ever given me.

>Joel: Any man should be so lucky.

Your pulse kicked up again somehow. He was making it all sound so meaningful. Maybe it was to him. Maybe he never took it the wrong way. Maybe he took it exactly the right way.

5:14PM <You: did you use them?

There was a pause for a few minutes.

5:20PM >Joel: Jesus…

>Joel: I’m at work, darlin.

5:22PM <You: so?

5:25PM >Joel: You got a mouth on you, huh?

5:26PM <You: and i know how to use it

5:28PM >Joel: We might just have to have you prove yourself then.

5:30PM <You: just tell me when

5:31PM >Joel: You are dangerous, angel.

>Joel: I have them in my pocket right now.

>Joel: I couldn’t help myself.

Jesus, this man was going to be the death of you. He was carrying your panties around in his pocket, while he was at work. Your thighs instantly squeezed together and it was at that moment you decided.

Fuck it, he made you feel good and your husband clearly didn’t care about your needs. You needed a divorce, and not just because of Joel. It was about you finally doing what’s good for you.

Suddenly an idea came to you, admititly a very bad idea but again, fuck it.

5:36PM <You: hey, do you have any plans tonight?

5:37PM >Joel: You know darlin, I don’t.

Thank god.

5:38PM <You: what’s your address?

5:38PM >Joel: 7 Oak Village Rd. I get home at 7.

5:38PM <You: see you then

You needed a plan. Your husband wouldn’t really care if you made last minute plans, you just needed a reason. Since he barely takes the time to pay attention to you, he definitely doesn’t know your friends very well.

“Hey, I know this is super random, but my friend Ashley”(totally a fake friend) “just got dumped, Isn’t that awful? She wants me to come over so she’s not alone. Would you care if I spent the night with her?”

It wasn’t really an odd thing, you spent the night with friends before. You should feel bad for lying so easily like this but the thrill of it all was keeping you going. You knew he wouldn’t object but he barely even looked at you. A quick glance back before he focused on the tv again as he waved you off.

”Yea, I don’t care… Johnny’s coming over anyway. Have fun.”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, you knew you should be upset but you were too used to it at this point. You went upstairs to pack a bag and get ready. It had been a long time since a booty call and you forgot how giddy it made you feel. Knowing you were going to a man's house who actually wanted you there and actually wanted you.

Once you showered and finished packing, you went down to head out the garage. Apparently while you were upstairs Johnny and many more came over and had taken over the couch as they all debated over some play in the game. You tried to get your husband's attention, calling his name and waving at him. Anger boiled over in your gut. Just another reason not to feel guilty about tonight.

You loaded up into the car and pulled out of the massive driveway without a regret in your heart. This was the beginning of a new chapter and it felt right in so many ways. Your skin was buzzing with arousal, you had been thinking of Joel’s thick hands that would soon be on you, throughout your whole shower.

Before you left the neighborhood you sent Joel a quick text.

7:13PM <You: on my way

7:14PM >Joel: Can’t wait.

You felt the heat creep up into your cheeks and down your neck. Your nerves did start to wear on you though, all the usual stuff; Will he like me? Do I look nice? Did I miss a spot shaving my legs? You decided to wear a thin silk slip dress/nightgown under a baggy zip up hoodie. You figured it was a good way to look ‘sloppy’ enough that your husband wouldn’t care, if he even looked your way. You made the short drive over to Joel’s neighborhood and your nerves seemed to melt away as you got closer. It was odd, normally this kind of thing would send your pulse skyrocketing but the thought of seeing Joel made you calm, almost serene. He definitely made your head swim with giddy arousal though.

You found the beautiful house marked ‘No. 7’ and knocked on the perfectly painted door. Of course his house was gorgeous, he was a contractor. Only moments went by until the door was pulled open by that very sexy looking contractor. His brown curls were slightly messy on his head and he wore some kind of faded shirt and loose sweatpants that hung way too low. You couldn’t look away.

“Hi darlin’,” he rubbed his neck and his cheeks went red. He was nervous.

“Hi,” you couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face.

“Come in, here let me.” He gently took your bag from your shoulder and guided you to the couch where he had a bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table. The inside of his home was just as beautiful as the outside; the couch was large and comfortable, there was quiet music playing in the corner from an old school record player and books and plants littering the shelves. He came back and poured you both a glass and clinked the two together before you each took a long drink. He finally sat down and you turned so your feet were up against his leg, quickly feeling comfortable with him.

“I wasn’t sure if you would be ok… with me coming over.”

“Why?” God his southern accent was like honey.

“I don’t know, maybe it was…I was too forward.” You were sure why you felt the need to bring this up, maybe clear the air somehow. “I’m divorcing him, I can't do it anymore.” Saying it out loud made your heart lurch.

“I get it sweetheart, it ain’t fair that he treats ya’ that way.” You were leaning into each other at this point, unable to stop the magnetic pull between you. His arm was draped over the back of the couch, his hand near your shoulder. He started to entwine his finger in your hair, his big brown eyes danced over your face and it made you almost want to shy away from his gaze.

“You don’t think I'm a terrible person?” You looked into his eyes finally, wanting to know how he felt about you, how he felt about this.

His fingers left your hair as his thumb brushed over your lips. “Y’not a terrible anythin’ darlin’,” then he moved.

He was on you before you could take another breath. He slotted his lips over yours, his tongue sliding between them. He devoured you, stole the breath from your lungs. It was all consuming the way he kissed you, it felt like he was starved and you were all he wanted to consume. He sat back and pulled you with him, your legs wrapping around his hips leaving your core right in his lap. His hand cupped both cheeks as you pressed yourself fully to him, your hips grinding down into his. Your baggy sweatshirt was obstructing your skin from touching his, you needed more and the fabric was too warm.

You leaned back and you finally got a good look at his face as you pulled the zipper down. His lips were swollen and red and his eyes were almost all pupils. After ripping the bulky fabric off he finally moved his hands to the rest of you. He traced your arms down to where your hands laid on your thighs, he then lightly ran his fingers up your back over the thin fabric of your nightgown.

“You are so… fuck, you’re so gorgeous.” He sounded like he couldn’t catch his breath and yours caught in your throat. He pulled you into him again but it still wasn’t enough skin. As his soft lips worked over your pulse and his rough beard scratched at your neck you knew you needed more of him. You groaned as you pulled away again and tried to pull his shirt off yourself but he was just large enough to make it difficult. He smirked at you as he leaned forward to remove the shirt and your skin finally made contact with his.

You both groaned as you came together once again, finally able to feel his warm solid chest against yours. He explored your body again as your mouths did the same, he kissed down your neck, over your shoulders and between your breasts. The thin straps holding up the nightgown were quickly pulled down, revealing your chest to him. He lavished you and you felt the vibration of his groans as he licked the crevice between your breasts before closing his mouth around a peak and sucking. Your whole body arched into his, your fingers carding through his hair which made him groan deeper.

“Fuck— Joel,” your skin was on fire and you were lightheaded. You knew somewhere deep down you should feel bad or guilty but it was the furthest thing from your mind. He made you feel like you were floating, your soul somehow detached from your body.

He pulled back from you, just enough to catch his breath and look into your eyes. His hands however never stopped roaming your skin. His pupils were blown wide, almost none of the deep brown in his eyes were left now. He dipped his head and dove back into your skin, his lips attaching to your neck and it made you groan and your core clench.

He groaned into you and you felt it rumble through his chest. You felt like you were losing grip on reality, you couldn’t tell someone your own name if they asked. It was all worth it because you were lost in the pleasure of feeling him under you, but you needed more of him.

You dropped to the floor, the carpet soft under your knees. You tried to pull Joel’s pants down his hips, almost frantically as if you didn’t see all of him now you would die.

“Hol’on darlin’,” he kind of giggled as he slipped the fabric off his hips and he fell back onto the couch and looked down at you with his mouth hanging open in awe. You met his gaze before looking down at his hard length.

Fuck, he was big.

You lowered your mouth to him, teasing your lips over his silky skin. His breath caught in his chest. You ran your tongue up and his hand came up to hold the back of your head, not to force but support. Eventually his fingers grabbed into your hair when you wrapped your lips around him and pulled him in. You felt his rough moan reverberate into your body every time you dropped your head. It was difficult to take him all at once but you had to feel him, everywhere.

“Fuck, oh my—gooood…” he dropped his head back onto the couch but you knew he was watching you, his eyes never left you. You felt your arousal spread between your thighs knowing you were driving him mad. Before you even got a chance to really do much Joel pulled you up on your feet. He stayed seated and looked up at you through his lashes and your heart stopped for a second seeing him below you like this made your stomach dip and your panties wet.

His eyes were blazing a path over your body, nightgown bunched around your waist with your entire chest exposed. You should be cold but you felt like you were on fire. He ran his palms up the backside of your legs until he reached the lacy fabric of your underwear. His eyes never left yours as he slowly pulled the fabric off your hips and over your ass, his hands touching skin the whole way down and helped you step out of it. That swooping feeling settled into your stomach again as he slid his fingers back up the inside of your leg until he reached your hot center, eyes never leaving yours. You both moaned as he dipped into the slick that coated your skin.

“Mhmmm, this all f’me?” He looked at you with a mix of arrogance and pure desire as he moved his fingers in a slow circular motion. It was made easy by just how wet you were, you didn’t know if you had ever been this wet before. That’s the effect he had on you, or maybe this is just a primal kind of desire that you never had with your soon-to-be ex-husband.

Either way you were spiraling fast. You knew once you two came together you wouldn’t last long. You needed to feel him, it was driving you mad.

Joel seemed to be taking it slow, which you can admire as this is very new and he probably wanted to make sure you’re comfortable. While you admired him taking the time to make you comfortable you couldn’t wait anymore. As he kissed your chest and his fingers kept moving in agonizing circles across your sensitive bundle while you straddled his lap. His hard length rubbed against your center and both of your bodies shook with desire.

He groaned as he wasn’t expecting you to be on him so fast. His hands ran along every inch, taking you into him and never wanting to let go. You rocked your hips and slowly dragged your core across his length causing you both to stutter and moan. You were sick of waiting for the thing you had been thinking about non stop for weeks.

“Will you… make me feel good?” Your voice was squeaky and horse from all the moans and his eyes fluttered at your request.

“Oh darlin’… that bastard ain’t taking care of you huh? When’s the last time you were properly touched?”

You turned your eyes away from him, slightly embarrassed that he was able to tell that so easily. “Uhm… a while.” He gave you a pointed look, clearly not liking your non-answer. “A… a year,” his eyes widened at your admission. “Over a year…” You cringed at your final answer. You weren’t proud of the fact that it had been so long but you haven't been attracted to your husband in a long time.

”Oh… you poor thing,” he bracketed your cheeks with his large hands. “Don’t worry darlin’.”

Joel was losing composure quickly, he was ready to give you everything you deserved. His nimble fingers reached between your bodies and slid along your center, drawing a wanton moan from your chest. You ground your hips into his hand trying to create the friction he wasn’t giving you. He slowly spread your lips and ran his fingers gingerly over your clit causing your body to shake in his grasp.

“Hmm… y’all wet f’me?” His southern drawl was making his lust-drunk words slur together deliciously. The scruff of his mustache scratched at your neck but his lips and tongue soothed over the sensitive skin.

“Mmhmm… Joel— oh god please,” you sounded just as lost. Your voice cracked and your hips never stopped moving over his hand, desperate for attention.

“Don’t worry darlin’, I gotcha,” he quickly flipped you and your back hit the plush couch. A soft ‘oomf’ escaped your lips and Joel was mesmerized as you lay beneath him. “Oh look at’cha, you’re so pretty baby.”

His words were like hot honey, warm and sweet. You shifted under him and wrapped your fingers around his hard shaft and the groan that reverberated through his chest made your breath catch in your throat. You kept stroking him as his fingers found your wet center again, spreading your release over your puffy folds. As you wrapped your legs around his hips, you guided his crown to your core and felt the sweet stretch of him entering you slowly.

He paused for a few moments and looked like he was trying to center himself again before pushing his hips fully into yours and held himself there. A deep rumbling groan broke through his lips as he began to move, the stretch was making you nervous at first but you felt more and more comfortable as he kept moving. When he started to rub your neglected clit, a bolt of pleasure shot down your spine causing your back to arch and nails to dig into his arms.

“Such a good girl, baby… ngh— you-you feel so good,” his syrupy words made your head feel fuzzy and limbs heavy. His hips started to snap into yours at a harsher pace and his fingers spent up between you in tandem. Your orgasm was quickly approaching with his movements, faster than you expected. Was this the norm for people with healthy relationships and sex lives, real attraction? You couldn’t even finish the thought before Joel sped up his fingers and started to hammer into you. He was surrounding you, hovering over with those dark eyes and large shoulders. The smell of him alone was about to send you over the edge, he smelled like soap and a little like sawdust, all over man. His voice broke you out of your hazy state.

“You’re gonna— cum for me darlin’, I—I can’t hold on…much longer baby.” His voice was rough and demanding and almost like your body listened, you fell over the edge. The lewd moans and shouts of Joel’s name coming out of our mouth surprised you both. At feeling you cum around him, Joel lost all of his remaining control. He stilled inside you and you felt his muscles contract in his release.

“Oh fu—fuck! oh my… god,” he slumped against you and you welcomed his weight. You both settled into the couch as you rubbed your arms up and down his back. “I’m— I’m sorry darlin’, it's been a while. Normally I'd have… taken my time.”

He sounded almost nervous, it made you smile.

“Joel, stop. You have nothing to apologize for.”

”I’ll redeem myself next time.”

Next time? He wants there to be a next time!

You smiled to yourself and hummed at the content feeling of being under him while he still filled you.

You drifted to a place of half consciousness and woke up in, what you were pretty sure was the morning to the smell of bacon. You turned over in a bed, Joel's bed, to find it empty. You looked around the room and found it to be just like Joel, cozy and masculine. You located a shirt of his and threw it on before heading down the stairs to find a very sexy shirtless Joel standing in his kitchen, flipping pancakes.

“Mornin’ sleepy head,” his voice was thick with sleep and you walked up to him at the stove. With one large arm he pulled you into his side and kissed the top of your head. A slow smile spread on your lips at the familiarity of it all, the warmness of having someone to take care of you like this, emotionally. Something you almost never had with your husband, soon to be ex.

“Joel… thank you, for this.”

“What’cha mean darlin?”

“Taking care of me. Letting me come over last night.”

“Hey, look at me,” he tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. “Anytime you need me, I’m here.”

You tried to blink away the tears gathering on your lashes but one managed to slip, Joel’s thumb catching it before it reached your cheek. Time felt like it stopped as you leaned in to each other, lips pressing together as you moaned at the feeling.

The day was spent lazing in bed and talking about all the things you two would do when your divorce was finalized. The idea of divorce was the scariest thing in the world when you first thought about it, but now, knowing Joel would be with you every step of the way… you couldn’t wait.

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

worst birthday ever :)

[moonieandi]

snapshots pt. 9 | stanley pines x f!reader 

Summary: stanley has a restless night in April, and comes to a (not) shocking realization. a continuation of year 5, particularly concerning dreams

warnings (TW): swearing, slight-panic, some suggestive content

tags: mutual-pining, fluff, action, affection

notes: short but purposeful part pls listen to meeeee // side note so sorry everyone me is going thru v big girl problems w jobs and moving so apologies for the shortness but i did almost put just as much time into it as usual (typical im a perfectionist till i die) but ya again thanks for the love, support, the comments, like omg did i ever think id actually be kinda cool online? No i never thought that. All the follows?? The messages?? Like yall are too kind omgggg <333 much love to everyone though!!! Hope you enjoy, and again if you’d like to be tagged just comment :) 

word count: 3.8k

| masterlist | 

April, 1987

He had moved his clothes into her dresser drawers come February. 

Actually she did, while he slept in her clean sheets and tucked into her nest of blankets. He had quickly fallen ill after he turned from blue to red in their bathtub that late January day. Despite this, he did not stop shivering for a solid two days, during which his Doc’ rushed to and from his bedside with new washcloths for his burning foggy head and with soup to flush out the heat of his body. 

Well, it was actually her bedside. 

His Doc’ made quite the Doc’ though. He remembers flashes of being sick as a child, of having his mother creep in through his childhood room’s doorway to brush her long fingers across his forehead. She never crowded, but she always would linger in the hallway, waiting to be called upon, their landline propped in her hand. His wife was quite the opposite though, she rushed in through doorways, pushed into his space, and spoke in much more frantic cadences. She tried to soothe but he could tell bedside manner was a foreign thing to her, and he didn’t blame her for that. It was quite endearing, how worried she was for his wellbeing. 

He was under the fog of a fevor for several days, and bedbound for the rest of the week fighting exhaustion. It was odd to wake without her visage by his side. A book propped in her lap, her fingers twined into the sheets and worrying over the cotton fabric. She routinely cleaned the room also, moving from shadowed corner to shadowed corner, checking for god knows what. He’d wake to her sometimes, pacing the room in the dark. She was not well when he was unwell. Didn’t know how to compartmentalize him disappearing in front of her, worried about his waning sanity and lightheadedness. 

But it went away by the turn of the week, and when he woke again it was February, and his Doc’ had worn away in his absence. He quickly turned the treatment to her, worried about her hunched posture and weak wrists. Her bags were deeper than ever and her clothes wrinkled from her continued pulling at them. A stack of books by her bedside chair and his clothes in her dresser drawers. 

He took it with some unknown grace, taking care of her. Found it natural to shoo her to bed and scold her to lie under her own cotton sheets. Smiling and goofing with her as he tucked her in extra tight. He had less of a habit of lingering though, coming and going with ease, carrying her new books and magazines from the mail. She’d read until her eyes grew tired again, and he’d come by the next hour to find her reading material propped against the bedsheets and her head drooping to her chest. 

Food was harder though, he’d admit he knew a select few things to actually make. The majority of them being breakfast foods, fast and easy. He hadn’t had a stable kitchen to cook in for over a decade before all this. He would peer over her shoulder during dinner at times, helping her chop things and adding spices here and there. But he couldn’t recall anything in the face of his worry, so he fed her breakfast foods for a solid week. Something she laughed at heartily, taking her plate from his flushed embarrassed self. 

She was more herself, more present in the waking world come the second week of February. She had more pep in her step and a wider smile than he remembers. She was more quick to affection and giggling in his presence. More keen to spend nights watching movies in front of the T.V., more eager to arrange herself beside him on the couch. More frequently put her head on his shoulder, more often than not peering up at him. Periodically reached for him now with open palms. 

He had pushed off the thought. The faded memory of the tub felt like a lifetime ago. The piercing humid water, the yellow fog of the bathroom, and her head crested into his chest. The way he trembled when he reached for her, the caress of his fingers against the apple of her cheek. The way she looked then, looked at him like there was a promise of salvation in the warmth of his lips against her cheek. He remembers the depth of the declaration they shared, something no longer unspoken between them. 

Except he believed it to be a fading dream in the turn of February. 

Thought it may be one of his stuttering dreams of having her close, those dreams where he took her in the confidence of her bedroom. Dreams where he folded her body into his because it meant something. Something sickly sweet about the dreams of them across the kitchen table, of the way a gold band glinted on her ring finger when she reached for him. In those dreams, he had memories of washing her, sharing baths and kisses, and car rides with music and laughter. One’s where he leaned over the middle of the long bench and kissed her and didn't think about the swerving of the car or the heat of her gaze. In those dreams it meant something, he thought it meant something, that he was her’s. 

It aligned with many a daydream-turned-nightmare he had had. Nightmares where she left, took what little she could call her own and disappeared in the fleeting of the night. Nightmares of her crumpled body and shaking voice, a violence he didn’t understand. It’d shake him awake and have him stumbling from doorway to doorway. To make sure she was there before anything else. 

But now he didn’t have to grasp doorframes and splintered wood to see her in the dead of the night. Because they had not parted since that January day, that day he swore when he woke in February must be a twisted figment of his own imagination. Only now, awake in the dead of the night in April could he swallow the truth of it all.

Stanley was not a calculating man. He did not think in fragments and pieces, and he was not one to quantify things in small details so much he worried himself into a stupor. That was more her forte, something he’d pull her out of on the regular. He thought in long-terms and wishes and aspirations. He reached for dreams and planned his life in accordance with past grudges. There were no calculations in the assurance that he had said was he said, said she was his. A breadth of possession he only thought attainable in those dreams he searched for. 

It burned him sometimes, to catch her looking. Forsook the thought he ever believed her longing for him to be a distant relic in his subconscious mind. She looked at him now most days, a clear edge in her eyes. The ones he had seen in dreams, a heat he memorized long ago. Something he swore he saw long ago. Something familiar, her eyes reminding him of fleeting dreams turned memory, of kisses in their car over the dash. The same edging heat he remembers. Where he called her his own, the memory that he thought was a tortuous dream for a solid fifteen days. 

The only time he counts, between folded cards on a poker table and days between dreams and her. His aspirations had shifted in a mere 1,735 days. Four years and some change since he had that dream turned memory, of her crawling heat upon his lap. Her teeth sunk into the crook of his shoulder. 

A shoulder she dug into now. Her head nestled into the junction of his arm every night since February. Something unspoken about the way they lived in each other's space now. Something inconsequential and flippant about sharing their warmth. 

At times it was difficult sharing this space. He would usually find relief in their departure from each other some nights, those nights she’d make for her bedroom doorframe alone were a distant memory. She’d drag his frame to the edge of her bed now, her shirt pooled around her bare legs, a pleading look in her eye when she rolled the blankets back and invited him in. A reminder of a dream. 

Partially why he was even awake now in the dead of the Spring night. Her warmth was inviting and it had awoken something eager in him. He would usually find some sort of… physical relief in the deep dark of night when he'd lie alone in his own bed. But his new bed had an extra guest who just happened to be the possession of many of his desires. Normally he would check, crawling to the edge of his bed to peer at her silhouette across the hall, ensuring that she was asleep. It would be a weight off his lower back after he concluded in relieving his frustrations that had built up throughout the day. Usually followed by the all too typical sense of guilt. Because she had been there when he closed his eyes. The waking version of his dream, just asleep across the hall. 

An accumulation of dire frustration pooled now at the bottom of his spine. To be so close to her, so familiar with the curve of her body along his own, but to not possess her in a more intimate way was hard. Frustrating, even. He wanted possession of her on a deeper level, a proof of concept to the edging of his lips along her cheek and the declaration on his tongue. He drept of kissing her now in the waking world also. Of tangling his body closer to her own, taking her in the confidence of her bedroom. Of their bedroom. He wanted to share more spaces with her over dashboards and bathtubs now. 

But he didn’t know how. She had him fumbling in that foolish teenage boy kind of way, despite his climbing age. He’d regret the time spent fussing over the smaller details like she always does. He wasn’t used to working in fragments and fractions of thoughts.

She had already been so overcome with the memory of still water she refused to leave his side. Had spilled her guts in the porcelain of the tub in January. He didn’t know what possessed him now to stutter around the thought of her. It would come to a precipice soon, one day. The feeling would possess him and he’d declare himself something more to her, ask for the lie shared between them to become a reality. Ask her to marry him before ever having uttered what real husbands tell their wives. Big words that would stumble from his mouth, the closest he’s ever been to obsession, having her folded into his body. Her warmth made him gooey and his lips loose and in the dead of the night he thought he would say it to her there. 

That he loved her. 

September, 1987

The summer passed as it usually did. Scattered memories shared between them now of evenings on their porch and nights spent tipsy in front of the T.V.

They danced between each other now. Warm hands met in the dark of the setting sun on the back porch most days. Her head deep within the crook of his shoulder each evening when they’d converge in front of the T.V. Warmth shared between them in the dead of the night, blankets moving off the bed in the heat of the summer. He’d lean into it all now, too. Linger his lips along her forehead and laugh more readily in her presence. Their eyes would meet most days now, an amusement shared between them both in their hesitancy to break any tension. 

She was not keen to leave his presence in the slightest these days, either. She had trouble in doorways and dark hallways. Didn’t like turning over her shoulder line to look for him. Followed him into rooms and up the stairs now. She hadn’t let him disappear from her site since February, since she became so ill with her worry all she could do was skim books and wait for him to return in between consciousness.  

He did not shake her from this fear of hers. He walked away with some of his own. Remembering the cool seeping into his lungs, the choking of water in his throat. Remembering the height at which he emerged from the dark ice. The height he had fallen from the beasts’ maw had frightened him beyond reason, almost more than the dark of the water. The water was familiar to him at least, but the height at which his head cracked against the ice had him waking from falling dreams at times. He was sure if she hadn’t surged forward that day to embed the ax into the beast's neck he would have fallen from an even higher height. That he may have been dead. 

So he understood, her need for his visage to be within eyesight. Understood waking dreams and following him through doorways now. But dreams were dreams and they couldn't live in technicalities. She loved technicalities though, she thought in fragments and of far-off realities that would never be. She was imaginative in the worst way, in the worrying way. 

Which was why she looked oh so small in the passenger seat today, the looming elementary school sitting right behind her. School was starting, and she was going to be away all day. 

They had not separated in quite some time, even before the whole January turned February turned dream turned reality. They separated between walls and hallways, but usually, not even doors got between them. Doors felt like a trap to him even to this day, something she understood inherently. 

“Ya gotta go Doc’.” He hummed, reaching for her hand now. Something he didn’t hesitate to do, his palm faced up. 

She breathes, nodding. Her foot tapping away at the car floor, her bulging bag held to her front. She allowed him to reach for her, meeting him in the middle of the long bench. Her fingers cresting over and playing with his own. “I know, I know, I know.” 

She keeps nodding, her hand reaching for her chest again. Rubbing along her heart in a self-soothing way. She had been doing that all morning, since breakfast. 

He had pushed off opening the shack, wanting to drop her off that morning for her first day. She had been so eager when she found the application to be a teacher’s assistant tucked into the back of the newspaper’s classifieds late last year. She was set to help out in a crowded first-grade classroom that day. Something she had been so eager to do. Before she remembered the balm to her anxieties would be far from her reach. 

It had been hard, the thought of leaving him all day. She had laughed when she applied, thinking about how Stanley would pout at her across the kitchen table every morning during the school year. How he’d wait for her to come home, dreamed of him needing her. But in a weird twist of fate, it would be her, her watching the clock in the coming hours. Waiting for his figure to crest back over the horizon line, to greet her in the warmth of the car and joke with her all the way home. 

God, she would miss him. She hadn’t been parted from him since she burst through the shack’s front door. Since she wandered in through the doorway like a mad woman, taken by his image even then. 

It was even harder now, the thought of him disappearing in murky black water was the centerpiece of dark thoughts these days. The edge of all her anxieties since January. She didn’t want to part from him, because what if something happened to him in her absence? What if he went somewhere she could not follow?  

She knew the fear was misplaced. Knew Stanely would not disappear from her forever. He would go about his day much the same way he had all summer. He’d get dressed, put on his father’s hat, and give tours and swindle eager mothers all day. The tourists had flooded in out of town early this season, eager for the northern fall colors that would soon seep into the treeline around their home. 

Despite knowing this, her heart would not stop. Anxious about having him drive so far from her. Did he know? Know she needed his soothing presence? Know that the root of all her anxieties surrounded him most days now? 

He did of course, he read her mind in a greater capacity than ever in the last couple of years. Knew her tells from the change of her face and the grip of her hand. Knew her playing with his fingers was a distraction and her scrunched brow spoke of the restless night she had beside him. 

“Hey, look at me.” He takes her chin now, moving her head from the dash to him. His dark eyes were warm in the very early morning light. Kids would be here soon, flooding into the hallways, and she was supposed to be there to greet them. He knew she wanted this, so eager at the thought of teaching and helping. She had been planning activities and how to best introduce herself to six-year-olds for weeks now. She wanted this, but it came at the cost of splitting, splintering their shared connection for a day. 

“You can do this honey. I know you can.” He looks so sure at her, his head tilted and a smile creeping onto his face. “Do you know why I know that?” 

She hums. “Why?” 

“Because you’re smart.” He nods, continuing, despite her scoff. “And you’re good, and you’re patient, and you’re kind, and you’re warm.” 

She laughs. “Warm?” 

“Ya, warm. You got that face on ya’, kids will approach you at random I know it. Got that glow about you. You’re pretty like that.” His hand reaching now to brush some hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. 

She heats up beside him, back suddenly straight. “Pretty?” 

“You heard me.” He laughs too, like he’s known it forever, thought it forever. Like he was recounting the morning newspaper comics to her. Like it amused him that she didn’t know. That he thought she was pretty. 

She breathes. That might just get her through the day. Maybe through the month. That and the hot streak along her cheek to her ear. His hand warm as he pulls her across the middle of the long bench. He bends her into him, practiced from a dream turned reality from a time before. Drags his lips along the apple of her cheek, his scruff rubs against her. His lips warm along her, a heated path from her cheek to her ear again as he whispers between them. 

“Pretty, angel.” 

It catches her breath now when he calls her that. He does it at the most opportune times now. “Honey” made her heart beat fast and her face flush, but “angel” made heat gather below her stomach. Resurfaced a dream from long ago of his weight above her and his lips so close to her jugular it makes her gasp at the memory of it. He only says it, angel, when they are close now. When she is tucked into his shoulder on the couch or in the early birdsong of morning, their arms and chests tangled together. 

It always makes her surge, makes her more alert. Made her think of far-off dreams of wedding bands and kids she swore were her own. That’s what she wanted to remember from those nightmares, at least. What she reached for in her current reality. She wasn’t used to working in dreams and long-gone wistful thinking though. But she’d try, try to be braver in the waking world. 

So she nods, breaking from his warmth. A beginning bell broke her from the trance of his eyes and the warmth of his big warm hands. He was still in his jeans and a rumpled t-shirt, hair a mess on the crown of his head. She hoped he’d stay the same when he returned. That he’d look just like this to her. 

She sighs, reaching for her bag, shuffling papers deep into the overflowing open zipper at the top. She turns back to him, reaching for his hand now, palm warm against him as she brings his hand to her lips unthinking. Holding his hand close to her face, cupping it, cradling her face in its warmth. 

“Goodbye, Mr. Pines.” 

He laughs, but she doesn’t miss the rise of redness to the tips of his large ears.

“Goodbye, Mrs. Pines.” 

She reaches for her door, opening it herself for the first time since meeting him. He yells, “Wait!” Rushing from his seat and the idling parked car to run along the front of the car, reaching and opening her door for her. A funny flourish to his hand, and a fake bow as she folds and steps out of the car. 

He closes the door promptly, outstretching his arms to actually encase her, to actually say goodbye to her now. Her hands along the expanse of his back, fingers crooked into the collar of his shirt. He sighs again, letting go of the warmth between them. His head still tucked forward, his lips greeting the curve of her hairline. Whispering along her head, “Goodbye for now.” 

She sighs again, shoulders slumped and bag hefty along her back. “Goodbye for now.” 

It’s the hardest thing, to turn from him. But the rush of children now seeping into the school reminds her she’s at least five minutes late for her very first day. For her very first actual job since working alongside Stanford. It makes the doubt turn in her veins, only reassured by the shadow of him behind her. 

And when she turns there, searching over her shoulder line he’s still there, leaning against the car, like he had been waiting for her to turn again.  Firm and whole and handsome and hers entirely. Reminds her of a faint dream when he waves again, a glint she swore was on his finger. A golden band she remembers and a promise he swore of never leaving her again, not like that.

She thinks to say it then, entirely loud and brief between their distances. Thinks of phrases whispered close to her ears and folded into her arms. A familiarity in the sentiment, but entirely foreign on her tongue. Something unspoken between syllables she cannot voice now, standing at the entrance to the small school. Taken by his image, has words almost stumbling out of her mouth like a mad woman. 

She thinks to tell him then and there, that she loves him. 

[bamsara]

so what im getting from the art recently is that narinder has fallen into alcoholism to cope with being gay

you have posted art of him either drunk or with a bottle in hand 5 different times

Nah. There's actaully like only 3 Times Narinder will actaully drink in the story, wine isn't actaully his go-to

Spoilers:

-Sipping it once in Heket's treasurey to determine that hmmm yes this is in fact ambrosia AND he can taste it before tossing it away

-The ACTAUL Drunken Gods chapter....which wil be alot. Like 90% of what I've drawn will be in this single chapter because this poor sap hasnt had wine or tasted anything in over a thousand years and he got maybe a Bit too overwhelmed at the wedding party, and so does the Lamb. Stuff happens. Ya know.

-Late fic where Narinder is at Ratua's and they are having a very serious conversation without the Lamb over some knucklebones, cidar and ambrosia, very casual

I just REALLY like drawing snippets from the drunk chapter draft outline I have because i really really have so many thoughts for that one

Originally it was Shamura's treasury but I changed it to Heket for pacing purposes. I needed the characters aka Narinder to undo go some ahem. realizations and traumas before something that happens in Kallamar's fight

[tokischaaaaa]

corny

!hamzah x !poc reader

summary: hamzah meets reader in curaçao , reader works at a vets clinic on the island, hamzah meets reader on the island due to him driving carelessly and hurting a liter of kittens. (hamzah’s a little dumb in dis one :P)

warning! : fluff!!

word count!: 975

   too goood- drake ft. rihanna

⇄              ◁◁  I I  ▷▷          ↻

00:32 ━━●━━━━━━━━ 03:12

it was hamzah’s second to last night in curaçao, he wanted to go out with a bang. not litterly to, he just wanted to get out on his own since he has been stuck with martin’s family the whole week. as hamzah was walking out, martin was editing the iguana mukbang, “be safe dude, let me know if you need something or if something goes wrong.” martin said seriously while still focused on the computer in front of him. hamzah nodded, appreciative of his friends worry of his wellbeing.

hamzah grabbed the keys on the counter and started his travels, he decided to plug in the directions to the farthest beach, soto is what popped up. he plugged his phone into the aux and began driving, as he was driving he realized how the sun was leaving his view, he decided to follow the sun, ‘screw the gps’ he said to himself. he followed the sun, followed it so he could see the sunset. last time he saw the sunset was with his siblings 5 years ago, finding and watching the sunset made him feel an emotional urge to follow the sun no matter what.. 

well until a cat popped up in the road, hamzah slammed the brakes. his heart was beating so fast that he his ears were pulsing at the same rate, he pulled over and opened his car door to see the mother kitten’s side slightly bleeding. hamzah’s mind was racing, ‘what should i do? should i call the police?’ he kept asking himself. from a distance he could hear a bike approaching him, he turned around and saw a young woman with green cargo shorts, blue bikini top and the thick curly brown hair that had risen due to the humidity approach him. “ya a’right?” she asked in her heavy accent, it took hamzah a few moments to answer her since she was so breathtaking, the departing sun had left such a beautiful filter across her skin, her skin was basically the color of deep gold. “hello, ya all right mister?” she asked once again, “oh, yes. no! i’m not alright, i was driving and this cat family stopped in the middle of the road, and then i tried-”. hamzah said attempting to explain while rubbing his forehead. “yeah im sure you tried,” the young woman scoffed as she got off her bike to inspect the wounded cat. 

as the young woman continued checking the wounded cat out, she said, “what are you even doing out here this late?”

“might sound corny, just wanted to follow the sun.” 

“ha! wait, what does corny mean?” 

“means like awkward funny, but yea i was just doing that.” 

“oh okay, so you running over this cat is corny!” she exclaimed putting her finger to her chin.

“no! that’s a horrible example!” hamzah cried

“what’s ya name man,” she asked softly placing the hurt cat in her arms. 

“hamzah, and you’rs?”

she said her name, her accent thicker than before. she took a cloth out of her pocket, and held it out to hamzah. “man hamzah, take this cloth and wrap the kittens in it. don’t forget one.” 

“okay, but what are you doing?”

“we doing! we gonna go to my clinic, ya messed up the mama.” she said.

hamzah nodded but before he could ask about transportation the young woman said , “we gotta ride in ya monster truck.” she smiled. 

hamzah nodded and opened the door for her with one hand while the other was holding the crying kittens. as they got in the car, the young woman directed hamzah to the clinic. as they were on the road, hamzah continued his music, now ‘too good’ by drake was playing , “this won’t take long, you’ll be able to see the sunset trust.” the young woman said. she realized how when hamzah was explaining the incident he was very passionate and determined to see the sunset. she could tell that that action had a very significant meaning to hamzah. 

hamzah’s worry started to drift, as his eyes stayed glued to the road he felt a pair of eyes looking at him, trying to read him, “what are you staring at?” hamzah said in a deep tone. “the corny hurter of the mother of the kittens,” she said giggling. “i told you i didn’t mean to!” hamzah gasped. “sure pretty boy, turn on the next stop sign.” the young woman said getting closer to hamzah and gently touching his jawline.

 being frank, the young woman was slightly tipsy from drinking a few too many mojitos at the beach. however that didn’t stop her from helping those who she specialized helping, animals. 

as she touched hamzah’s jaw , hamzah felt an urge to give her a sign to continue. it had been too long since he felt this especially from a stranger. 

“keep going.” he demanded. the young woman’s eyes widened. she blinked a few times before decking to continue, she came to the realization that meeting such an attractive stranger that obviously wasn’t a regular to the island was a rare, a rare moment that was worth taking advantage of like there wasn’t a tomorrow. but before she could continue with her plan to indulge in her lustful behavior she had to take care of the cats. she gently stroked his jaw once again, slower this time, feeling his skin. 

she quickly took off her finger once she reached his chin, “you too distracting pretty boy, the poor cats need my attention not you.” she sneered. hamzah scoffed in response. “okay sure, but maybe, i can get some of that attention if you know what i mean.” he smirked giving her the message.

“oh i get what you mean pretty boy.” she smiled looking down and playing with one of the kittens that laid in her lap. 

tokischaaaa speaks: so how bad yall want a part 2? 😈😈😈

[undergaunts]

Call Me Baby (Chapter 1)

Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt (Modern!AU)

Summary: The text chat logs between Sebastian Sallow and Ominis Gaunt during their 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts. (or Sebastian and Ominis can't bear to be apart for longer than 5 minutes, so spend their entire summer, winter and spring breaks texting and calling each other)

Rating: Teen & Up (this will go up in the next chapters!)

Word count: 4.1k

Recommended to read on AO3 as the layout is better but it’s also below the cut <3

SUMMER

July 2nd, 2:08pm

SBSTN hey

Ominis Good morning.

SBSTN morning ?! it’s like 2pm

Ominis I’m aware. I was joking.

SBSTN OH

LMAO

sorry im half awake

Ominis At 2 in the afternoon? What a shock!

SBSTN alright grumpy

just because u already miss me doesn’t mean u can be mean

Ominis I don’t miss you. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.

SBSTN oh im sure

brb breakfast

2:42pm

SBSTN k back

Ominis Did you enjoy your ‘breakfast’?

SBSTN ya it was basically just toast lol

Ominis You’ll spoil your appetite for supper if you eat so late.

SBSTN I could eat more AND still eat dinner

im a growing boy!

Ominis Horizontally or vertically?

SBSTN >:(

gonna ignore that

Anne says hello

Ominis Hello Anne, how are you?

SBSTN she says shes good

she asks how u r

Ominis Well, for where I am, thank you. Missing you already! 

SBSTN HEY >:(

u just said u don’t miss me

Ominis Indeed, but I miss Anne.

SBSTN piss off

she’s laughing at me

ur both bullies

Ominis :)

SBSTN >>>:((((

ok she’s dragging me out, imma leave my phone here cos solomon said he wont buy me a new one if i lose it again lol

speak later ?

Ominis Have a nice time. Speak later.

SBSTN phone?

Ominis If you’d like.

SBSTN kewl

BYE

Ominis Goodbye.

July 6th, 10:19am

SBSTN *image*

LOOK

wait

LOL

sorry

basically we saw this like albino cat and it reminded me and anne of u

it had little beauty marks and stuff as well

u sure ur not in feldcroft?

r u an animagus and u didn’t tell me ?!

Ominis Good morning.

SBSTN MORNING

prev mssgs plz

Ominis I’m most certainly not an animagus Sebastian.

SBSTN no i was joking

ik u wld tell me :P

not the point

CAT!OMINIS

Ominis Yes, very sweet.

SBSTN u ok?

Ominis Never been better.

SBSTN :/

sure ?

Ominis Yes, thank you.

SBSTN ok

sure ur sure

Ominis Yes, Sebastian. I’m perfectly well.

SBSTN Alright

July 9th, 12:30pm

SBSTN any plans the next couple weeks then ?

Ominis Much the same. Sit in my bedroom. Ponder life. I may even dare to eat some food.

SBSTN please eat lol

i can come to little hangleton and hang out if u want me to

@ GAUNT MANOR

lol mad ur family is so rich

Ominis I couldn’t think of anything worse.

SBSTN oi

being srs, floo straight in thru ur fireplace

bam, sebby and omi party time

if i was there u might venture further than ur kitchen lol

Ominis Absolutely not. I would send you straight back.

SBSTN :(

u wound me ominis

Ominis It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I’ve heard word is to.

SBSTN huh

Ominis Apologies. Damned speech to text. I was whispering. Some of these House Elves will report anything. Oh who cares. My mother and father are returning soon. Probably within the next week.

SBSTN oh

sorry :(

Ominis No need. I will do my very best to avoid them.

SBSTN i could still come for a day

b4 they get there

might make the next 2 months a bit bearable if u c me again

well not see me but u know what i mean

1:12pm

SBSTN hello?

Ominis Apologies.

I’d like to see you, but coming here is not a good idea.

SBSTN y?

Ominis You know why.

SBSTN ya but

surely having a friend over is fine right

i am also pureblood btw

Ominis Sebastian.

SBSTN well i am lmao

ik im not rich and there is probably some muggle blood in me from like … 5 centuries ago but

im all wizard, all man B)

anyway surely they aren’t even gonna be there for a few days yet

and even if they turn up i can just

bam floo straight back home

Ominis No.

SBSTN Ominis.

Ominis Sebastian.

I’ve said no. My decision is final.

SBSTN ok :(

Ominis but thank you for caring

July 11th, 6:00pm

Ominis Bye

SBSTN WHAT

WHERE U GOING

dude what

Ominis Sorry. Speech to text is truly not understanding what I’m saying when I whisper. I’m trying to find my laptop, hold on.

SBSTN bruh u scared me

♫i wish u would step back from that ledge my friend♫

that’s probably not funny but i laughed

comedy with sebastian sallow

one night only

Ominis ok on laptop now. sorry if typing is bad

SBSTN terrible :’(

Ominis what wrong?

SBSTN LOL

when you do speech 2 text i can hear u speaking in my head but when ur typing u just sound like me

Ominis easier to tyoe this way

SBSTN hell yeah brother

Ominis don’t call me tht

SBSTN what brother?

Ominis yes

SBSTN HAHAHA

XD

would u rather sister?

Ominis …possibly

SBSTN LOOOOOL

u weird

ANYWAY

what were u trying to say to me?

Ominis o, my mothr and father have come home

SBSTN ah

my condolences

how r they?

Ominis fine

SBSTN good

and how r u ?

Ominis fine

SBSTN :/

sure?

Ominis not entirly

SBSTN do tell

Ominis don’t want to burdem you

SBSTN rolling my eyes here

theyve popped out my head

bye eyes

enjoy ur life as free balls

lol

dude tell me

Ominis apprently they had beenin paris tofind suitable pureblood fsmilies or somthing

SBSTN what does that mean?

Ominis i think they trying to marry marvlo off

SBSTN OH

Ominis yes

SBSTN i mean it’ll get him out of ur hair right?

bye bitch

Ominis hopefully. think im jus nervous that once theyr done with him theyl look to me

SBSTN oh

Ominis yes

SBSTN ok well they cant do that until ur 18 and we r 16 so i think so we got time to think of a plan

if it comes to it ill kidnap u and we’ll go live in America or something

dw about it ok?

i got u

ok?

Ominis ok

thank you seb

SBSTN np

:)

July 15th, 1:18am

Ominis Are you awake?

1:26am

Ominis Sebastian?

1:31am

Ominis Hello?

8:42am

SBSTN soz i was asleep what’s up

9:32am

Ominis Nothing, don’t worry.

July 18th, 5:51pm

SBSTN sorry for such a late message 

how’s it hanging

Ominis Have you been busy?

SBSTN we went to London with Solomon

he left us at diagon alley for hours lmao

he said he had ‘ministry matters’ but i swear he just went and got drunk lol

he STUNK of firewhiskey 

i can still smell it and hes not even in the house

Ominis Perhaps it’s his cologne? They usually have alcohol in them, I believe.

SBSTN nah

Ominis Perhaps he had drinks with someone from the ministry?

SBSTN oh good theory

maybe

it’s fine

Ominis I can’t see him taking you and Anne all the way to London just for him to drink. 

SBSTN yeh ur right

Ominis As always.

SBSTN now now dear don’t go stroking ur own ego

Ominis Don’t call me dear, Sebastian. It makes me feel like an old woman. 

SBSTN sorry

sister :)

Ominis I’d like to wring your neck.

SBSTN dont tease ;)

July 21st, 2:13am

Ominis Are you awake?

2:17am

Ominis Sebastian?

SBSTN yep yep here

Ominis Sorry.

SBSTN what’s up ?

Ominis Nothing. I apologise. Go back to sleep. 

SBSTN wanna call?

Ominis I don’t want to bother you. 

SBSTN ur not

promise

calling

SBSTN is calling Ominis

Call accepted

Call ended, 1hr 6min

3:25am

SBSTN ill ask him in the morning ok?

but i don’t see why not

Anne will be happy :)

so will I

in a macho way.

Ominis Of course. Thank you.

SBSTN :)

go sleep

Ominis I will try. 

SBSTN sweet dreams baby boy

Ominis You too.

11:12am

SBSTN HELLO

HE SAID YES

U CAN COME WHENEVER U WANT BASICALLY! 

U COULD COME TODAY

YAY

11:17am

SBSTN haha solomon said he’ll take my bed so u can bunk in with me

ik u would probably rather share with anne

but i think solomon would kill u before he let that happen lol

and she’s a kicker anyway

11:25am

SBSTN me and anne r gonna go hogsmeade and get some stuff :)

u want anything?

i will make sure to put a little chocolate frog on top of ur pillow :)

hehe

1:09pm

SBSTN ok at HM now 

got a butterbeer sirona says hi

omgs if ernie lark doesn’t shut up imma make him

lmao

1:29pm

SBSTN Ominis?

Missed call from SBSTN

2:11pm

SBSTN yo can u just send me a message to lmk ur ok?

3:03pm

SBSTN Ominis

Missed call from SBSTN

3:48pm

SBSTN om

4:19pm

SBSTN OMINIS

ITS ANNE

WHY U NO RESPOND

Missed call from SBSTN

Missed call from SBSTN

SBSTN hey we are leaving hogsmeade, i got u some stuff anyway but just worried.

6:05pm

SBSTN made an extra dinner portion in case ur coming. 

call me when ur around ok?

7:41pm

Missed call from SBSTN

SBSTN ok, im hoping ur parents just dragged u somewhere today. hope ur ok. 

10:34pm

SBSTN im gonna try to sleep. really hope you’re ok.

July 22nd, 12:06am

SBSTN ok can’t sleep. 

here if u need me

2:38am

Ominis Sorry.

Ominis is calling SBSTN

Call accepted

Call ended, 28min

3:07am

Ominis I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. 

SBSTN ITS OK

dude i only worry cos i care about u

stupid they took ur phone and laptop

ik it’s muggle technology or whatever but everyone uses them nowadays

but yeah I’d wait a couple days to ask them

don’t worry if u cant talk for a bit, but u know where to find me if u need me

alright go get ur beauty sleep

Ominis Thank you, again. I really hope to see you soon. 

SBSTN u will :)

promise :)

Ominis Goodnight Sebastian. 

SBSTN goodnight baby boy

Ominis I think I don’t mind that name

July 29th, 7:14am

Ominis Good morning :)

9:22am

SBSTN HI GORGEOUS

ur back :)

missed u

no homo

lol

Ominis I am indeed back.

SBSTN r u ok?

Ominis I am. Are you?

SBSTN now that ur back !! 

again, no homo LMAO

no but srsly r u ok? been a bit worried, ik u were gonna lay low a bit but still

Ominis I’m fine. Good, even. My father has agreed for me to come and stay in Feldcroft. However, only for the last two weeks of the Summer. 

SBSTN OKAY!

THAT STILL GOOD

:DDDDD

Anne’s gonna be so excited

Ominis It’s a shame I can’t come sooner. I think these two weeks might be the longest of my life. 

SBSTN we’ve gone longer before my dude

we’ve just gone like 4 weeks so what’s like 3 more

Ominis Very true. You are wise sometimes, Sebastian. 

SBSTN flatterer

August 3rd, 10:14am

SBSTN ur right it’s dragging

anne is making me go to gladrags with her 

i want u here so we can do manly things

like skipping rocks on the water

long walks along the beach at sunset <3

LMAO jk but srsly haha I’m bored

August 5th, 12:36pm

SBSTN 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ominis Could you not have sent more exclamation points?

SBSTN srry

Ominis It’s almost like you aren’t excited. 

SBSTN ill do better next time

Ominis I’m rather offended, actually. 

SBSTN :(

Ominis :)

SBSTN :D

August 12th, 2:47pm

Ominis One week, I believe. 

SBSTN UR RIGHT 

I’m dancing

u can’t see me rn but i am

Ominis I can’t see at all. 

SBSTN dude.

Ominis I saw the opportunity and I took it. 

SBSTN u didn’t see anything

cos ur blind

Ominis Haha. Very funny. 

SBSTN :D

1 WEEk!

August 18th, 6:04pm

SBSTN SO WHAT TIME U COMING

ill walk over and meet u

r ur house elves gonna bring ur school stuff later?

cos there’s not a lot of room here haha

but it’s cool if u need 2 :)

come at like just after midnight haha technically counts

ill wait up

Ominis I’ll probably come around midday, if that’s acceptable. I will have to speak to my father before leaving, I suppose. I am looking forward to seeing you. Very much.

SBSTN me too :)

we’ll have lunch and then maybe we can go exploring or something

there’s an empty cave down by the water that has all these old stones and bricks with weird patterns on them i think you’ll like

like they feel all weird 

good hand feel

oh and the Ominis cat is back so you two will have to meet !

Ominis I cant wait. 

SBSTN me neither

August 19th, 12:05pm

Ominis I’ll be on my way soon. 

SBSTN just helping Anne finish the pie then ill head over :)

Ominis Are you covered in flour by any chance?

SBSTN u kno it baby

im a messy boy ;)

Ominis Looking forward to seeing you like that oh that doesn't make sense

At least look presentable for your guest.

SBSTN but u can’t see me?

lol

will do, dw

12:21pm

SBSTN ok heading over now

Ominis And I am just leaving.

SBSTN c u soon <3

Ominis

<3

WINTER

December 20th, 9:24am

SBSTN changed their display name to xmaSeb

xmaSeb i have ur tie

found it in my bag

idk why i bought it home lol

gonna wear it like a bandana

Ominis How do you know it’s mine?

xmaSeb its got a little og on the inside

Ominis What is an og?

Oh. My initials.

xmaSeb i wrote it in all ur ties so they don’t get lost or someone else steals then

Ominis How sweet

Why didn’t you tell me this before?

Would it matter, as long as I had enough ties?

xmaSeb no

i guess not

i just like the house elves to know whose is whose

Ominis Well, thank you. I’ll collect it in a few days. 

xmaSeb :)

how r the gaunts

Ominis I don’t think you want to know.

xmaSeb probably not

tell me anyway

Ominis Cruel, vicious, muggle-hating? I think about that covers it. 

xmaSeb ah

so not much has changed

Ominis Of course not. 

xmaSeb at least it’s only like what a week?

Ominis 4 days, 5 if you count the day it took to travel.

xmaSeb remind me why they wanted you to come back so bad ? 

Ominis The family of the witch that Marvolo is supposed to be marrying are visiting tomorrow. 

xmaSeb right

Ominis So I had to be in attendance to prove we are a worthy family, stronger together. Always in Power and whatnot. 

xmaSeb right

Ominis So now I’m stuck here listening to my father rant about blood purity when all I want to do is to be with you. 

And Anne.

Even Solomon. 

xmaSeb lol

sure he’d be chuffed

Ominis I’d take 100 Solomon’s over one of my fathers. 

xmaSeb how many mes would u take

Ominis 0

xmaSeb oh

</3

xmaSeb devastated :(

Ominis You know I jest. 

xmaSeb :D

Ominis Excuse me. Apparently after breakfast I’m being taken for a suit fitting. I seem to have outgrown last years’ already. I’ll speak to you later. 

xmaSeb nice

send pics

xmaSeb ;)

Ominis You know I won't do that. 

xmaSeb :(

no fair 

speak later?

Ominis Call?

xmaSeb anything 4 u baby boy

5:36pm

Ominis *image*

I’m not sure if I even got a picture. But I’m sending this anyway. 

xmaSeb damn

u so fine

lol wear that at school and the girls will be all over u trust me

:)))

Ominis I don’t want

Do you really think

Thank you.

December 22nd, 12:32am

Ominis Thnk Merlin thts over

dmn key stuck

does  work?

        .

a a a 

xmaSeb mine a works a just a fine a

Ominis on my laptop stupid

xmaSeb phone?

Ominis dead

xmaSeb charge

electric spell mate tht wht i do

Ominis fool

guests

loud

xmaSeb O YE

im 2 pretty 2 think

anyway how was it

Ominis horrid

apprently marv was makin bedrom eyes at her

thts wat my sister said

xmaSeb LMAO

was she pretty

do you kno

Ominis sis said she looked a bit like a horse

xmaSeb HORSE?

like NEIGH?

Ominis quote ‘very long face with very long nose, lovely mane thoug’

xmaSeb why does he want to screw her then

Ominis pureblood

xmaSeb don’t need to say anymore lol

how was it tho

Ominis painful

spent the whole night trying to remmber french 

which i def butchered

and they kept grabbjng my chin to look at me and commenting about my eyes

but I coulndt hear them coming

xmaSeb LOL

so when u gonna speak to me in French?

ik some french 

bonjour mon petit croissant

but yeh that sounds sucky dude

why r they all so weird

its a wonder u turned out so perfect ;)

Ominis not

xmaSeb yes

perfect baby boy :)

Ominis no

xmaSeb yes :)

Ominis no

xmaSeb YES

stop arguing

Ominis fine

xmaSeb i win!

only 2 days now 

Ominis indeed

xmaSeb then u get to see ur bestest friend in the whole world!

Ominis anne

xmaSeb me!

oh

Ominis joke

xmaSeb im gonna sleep now v tired

Ominis talk tomorrw?

xmaSeb don’t even need to ask <3

December 24th, 10:43am

xmaSeb good morrow sire 

ur carriage awaits

(me, waiting for u to carry ur bag back home)

Ominis I shan’t be long. See you shortly.

December 25th, 4:52am

xmaSeb meryy chrismtas omii i lvoeu 

oh ur ruyght there

I stikl lovu

even if i dnttell u

SPRING

March 25th, 10:14am

xmaSeb changed their display name to seabass

seabass haha just seen those last messages

Ominis You love me?

Were you drunk? 

seabass noooooooo

tht just shows how drunk u were if u dont remember me being drunk

Ominis I was drunk too?

seabass we were all drunk baby

Ominis Merlin. 

How do I not remember this?

seabass dont tell me u don’t remember our passionate night together as well?!

Ominis What

What

Sorry, what?

What?

seabass wow

broken hearted

was this why we never discussed it?

Ominis I’m sorry, I really don’t remember, Sebastian. Why didn’t you mention this sooner?

seabass sigh

it was so amazing, so passionate

don’t think i could get u to stop talking about potions for a good hour

how much u HATE it

so much passion in ur heart!!!

Ominis I thought you meant

Oh, haha, very funny Sebastian. I was scared for a moment there. 

seabass what of lol

trust if we ever were passionate we would both remember VERY clearly ;)

Ominis Enough joking around. 

seabass never

but fine i’ll stop FOR NOW

how’s oui oui paris

(read tht with the french accent on paris so it rhymes plz)

Ominis Horrid. For the most part, I’ve managed to keep to myself, but this damned family might end up killing me. 

seabass which one lol

gaunts or delacar

or however u spell it

Ominis Delacroix. I just had to spell that out, this phone is really poor at spelling. 

Truthfully, it’s going to be one or the other. Marvolo is all over this Rosalié like a ravenous mongrel. Eleven year age gap, mind you. Their only topic of conversation seems to be about hating muggles in broken French and English. 

seabass the horse girl

oh so she’s like only a bit older than us?

Ominis Precisely. Only just finished Beauxbatons last year, apparently. She also has a younger sister, who is very timid, unlike the rest of her family, but I’m certain my mother and father are already hatching the egregious plan to marry us when she comes of age. 

seabass shit

i had to look up egregious lol

how old?

Ominis Eleven, I believe. Starting Beauxbatons in the Autumn if I understood her mother correctly. 

seabass oh gross

yuck

but that does give us time to hatch a plan and run away

Ominis I could very well be wrong, but I have sat next to her at every dinner we’ve had together so far. It would certainly not surprise me. 

seabass im so sorry baby

Ominis I’m here for another few days, then back home. I think I may not survive these two weeks. 

seabass plz survive

i wouldn’t be able to go on

itll all be ok, dw :)

Ominis Do you promise?

seabass on my life

March 30th, 8:27pm

Ominis Home now. 

seabass welcome back to to the British Isles

enjoy your tea and scones

me ol mucker

Ominis What on Earth are you on about now?

seabass haha

there’s this american muggle show thing and one of them is trying to do an English accent and its soooo bad

me and anne were watching it and couldn’t stop laughing

ill send a video hold on

u don’t have to see it just listen hold on

*video*

8:35pm

Ominis What did I just hear?

seabass HAHAHAH

absolute shambles

Ominis I think my ears may be bleeding.

seabass nooo don’t lose your hearing ur so sexy aha

Ominis Excuse me?

seabass meme

Ominis Clearly. If I did lose my hearing at least I wouldn’t have to hear you speak again. 

seabass if u lost ur ears how would i even communicate with u? 

:(

Ominis No communication with you? Sounds like a dream come true. 

seabass yeah but if we couldn’t talk at all i wouldn’t be able to do this

seabass is calling Ominis

Call accepted

Call ended, 2hr 3min

10:51pm

seabass <3333

Ominis Goodnight Sebastian.

seabass sleep well lovely <3

Ominis And you. 

<3

April 3rd, 11:36am

seabass good morning angelface 

Ominis Angel face. That’s a new one. 

seabass do u like

Ominis It’s not something I’ve heard before. 

seabass so u DO like it

Ominis Hang on, I never said that.

seabass what do u prefer, sister or angelface

remember that hahaha

Ominis I do remember. It was only a joke. 

seabass ikkkkk

k of all the names I call u what do u prefer

angelface

baby

baby boy

gorgeous

lovely

perfect

or dumbass motherfucker

Ominis You’ve never called me that last one. I dare not repeat it. 

seabass not to your face >:)

Ominis Really? Then to who?

seabass just in my head

to myself

whenever i look @ u

Ominis You are an idiot, Sebastian Sallow.

seabass i think my fave ones r baby boy and perfect because that’s what u r :)

Ominis I honestly can’t tell if you’re flirting

I’m really getting mixed signals

I think you’re more perfect

Such a charmer. 

I think I just prefer my name. 

seabass ahhh no fun :(

i only give u these pet names because ily :(

Ominis What?

Sorry

In what way

I love you too, I have for

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck oh stupid phone stop listening to me I’m not trying to

11:52am

seabass sorry was that weird haha

ur just my best friend and stuff

sorry

Ominis Oh, of course

Oh

I thought you meant

Idiot

Don’t

Don’t apologise, if I’m honest I don’t mind the names. It’s certainly better than some of the things I’ve been called. Haha. 

Ominis And I L Y too. 

So much

seabass :D

<3

i shall continue to give you cute little names then

Ominis Alright. Don’t expect any from me though. 

Sweetheart. 

seabass YES

hahaha

seabass changed their display name to sweetheart

sweetheart look

i changed mine

mine display name 

change urs baby boy

Ominis What?

Oh, I’ve just heard it. Really?

sweetheart CHANGE UR NAME SO WE MATCH!!!!!

Ominis changed their display name to Baby Boy

Baby Boy Did that work?

sweetheart YEA

haha

this is dumb

still love it tho

NEW MESSAGE

From Natty<3 to sweetheart

April 3rd, 11:55am

Natty<3 It's happened! Congratulations guys <3

NEW MESSAGE

From QUIDDITCHQUEEN to sweetheart

April 3rd, 11:56am

QUIDDITCHQUEEN So you finally got your shit together then?

NEW MESSAGE

From pops to sweetheart

April 3rd, 11:56am

pops just saw yours and Ominis’ names! :)

very sweet :)

happy for you both :)

NEW MESSAGE

From Gazza to sweetheart

April 3rd, 11:57am

Gazza always knew you two would get it on haha

NEW MESSAGE

From LEANDER1 to sweetheart

April 3rd, 11:57am

LEANDER1 r u an gaunt gay or smth wots wiv the names

not judging idc

April 3rd, 11:58am

sweetheart we can change it back lol

Baby Boy Why?

I thought you loved it

sweetheart idk

im gonna

sweetheart changed their display name to sebastian

sebastian leave urs then

Baby Boy OK.

sebastian k

gtg c u friday 

Baby Boy  Is everything ok?

Baby Boy changed their display name to Ominis

Ominis Ok, goodbye then.

Love you.

April 4th, 12:07am

Ominis Sebastian?

12:19am

Ominis Are you there?

12:28 am

Missed call from Ominis

12:32am

Missed call from Ominis

12:40am

Ominis is calling sebastian

Call declined

[gali-la]

FIC REC FIFTEENTH

I've been so busy lately I've been neglecting the good fics of AO3. In the spirit of getting back into it, I'm gonna make a list (or recommendation list) of the fics I read and like over the course of the month!

Disclaimer—these are not One Piece specific, despite the majority of this blog being so. 'Tis whatever strikes my fancy

(tagging the authors whose blogs i know/can find because i need you all to know i love you sm. feel free to yell at me)

SFW FICS

Bad Hair Day by Aerle [2.9k, One Piece]

Ratings: General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship(s): Thatch/Izou Additional Tags: Hairdresser au Summary: When Thatch is about to close his hair salon early because of the heat, a last minute and rather desperate customer shows up. Notes: Absolutely adorable fic!! from a favor for a near-stranger to sweet small talk and conniving matchmaker friends... this one has so much packed into a cute little one shot. Absolutely recommend!!

go ahead and bite off more than you can chew by gendervapor ( @gendervapor14 ) [1.1k, One Piece]

Ratings: Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship(s): Charlotte Katakuri/Donquixote Rosinante Additional Tags: Romance, first kiss, insecurity, domestic fluff, established relationshipSummary: "You—you hardly know what I am, what I look like. And you think I’m planning to wed you? I couldn’t." Notes: Sweetest thing on the planet written by the sweetest person on the planet (ya im a little biased. fite me). The delicious insecurity and subsequent reassurance all topped of with a first kiss!! this fic will forever have my heart and soul <3

OP Rare Pair Week Day 5 - Season by ArgelTal ( @chaoticargeltal ) [1.3k, One Piece]

Ratings: General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship(s): Akainu | Sakazuki/Ryokugyu | Aramaki Additional Tags: Admirals polycule, cute, fluff, domestic fluff, fluff and humor, one-sided crush, pre-relationship Summary: Day 5 of the One Piece Rare Pair Week, prompt: Season. Aramaki hates winter. The cold is terrible on his plant body and the sun is too weak. But then he finds a new sun in Sakazuki. Notes: Absolutely adorbsss I love the dynamic between all the admirals. I'm normally not a marines fan, but this fic could just about make me one XD

Those freckles are misleading by Lerya ( @lerya-fanfic ) [1.4k, One Piece]

Ratings: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship(s): Marco/Ace Additional Tags: miscommunication, mutual pining, modern au Summary: Marco couldn't deal with this, he had only just started teaching history at Grand Line University, there was no way he was putting all of that on the line because he student was flirting with him. He's less than stellar sex life can't be the reason why he'd dare to do this. The 'student' in question is hot though, but still not worth his job. Notes: A lot of this fic was me just laughing at Marco, poor guy. Thank god Izou comes to the rescue—I'm pretty sure Marco wasn't gonna survive much longer. Ends with a sweet date and a night spent together!! Absolutely worth reading

challenge by starbitz ( @j1rouz ) [1.3k, One Piece]

Ratings: General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship(s): Zoro/Luffy Additional Tags: feelings realization, first kiss, roronoa zoro and vinsmoke sanji bickering, roronoa zoro-centric, slice of life, fluff, canon compliant Summary: "You don’t have a romantic bone in your big, dumb body,” Sanji quips, giving Zoro a hearty shove. Notes: One of my favorite zolu dynamics—captain and his first mate being silly and dumb together. This fic totally captures that in the best was possible <3 beginning to show up sanji and ending so sweetly

for what it's worth by de_winter [6.8k, One Piece]

Ratings: Teen and up audiences, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Thatch/Izou Additional Tags: modern au, getting together, friends to lovers, mutual pining, cabin fic, first kiss, Summary: A year since they’d seen each other in person, and Izou had once again forgotten how good Thatch looked. An impossible feat, now that he once again laid eyes on those shoulders. With each passing year, Thatch seemed to look better and better, and his sweaters seemed to be getting smaller and smaller at the same rate. Notes: One of my fav Thatch/Izou fics. the way theyre both so in love with each other... GOD its fucking delicious

Observe When I Am Dead by Augment [8.3k, One Piece]

Ratings: Mature, creator chose not to use archive warnings Relationship(s): Zoro/Luffy Additional Tags: angst, thriller bark fallout Summary: Kuma offers Zoro a slightly different deal. Notes: god the PAIN with this one. absolutely recommended read 10/10 zoro's devotion and silence—god it hurts and tastes so GOOD

pay you in love without returns by wishbone [3k, House M.D.]

Ratings: Teen and up audiences, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Greg House/James Wilson Additional Tags: gift giving, friends to lovers, lack of communication, joke proposal is treated seriously, marriage proposal, relationship advice, wedding rings, angst with a happy ending Summary: When Wilson tells House how much he spent on the Hammond organ he gifts him, House makes a mistake that will reveal their feelings for each other. Notes: Poor wilson—though to be fair, they're both idiots in this one, and i wouldn't have it any other way. if you want some feels and some happy endings with a dose of oh god that hurt you're dumbasses, this is the fic for you!

honest with you by astrange_one [8.8k, My Hero Academia]

Ratings: Teen and up audiences, Creator chose not to use archive warnings Relationship(s): Yamada Hizashi/Aizawa Shouta Additional Tags: fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining Summary: Hizashi doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, but he forgets that things are different now compared to back when he was in foster care. Because if there's one thing he's perfected over the years, it's keeping his problems to himself. He's used to it, after all. It's just that Shota doesn't like it when he does that. Notes: this is angsty as HELL. Total Mic whump (yum) with a happy ending. delicious

Eye of the Beholder by Heronfem [6.8k, My Hero Academia]

Ratings: mature, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Sero Hanta/Todoroki Shouto Additional Tags: Falling in love, idiots in love, didn't know they were dating, oblivious, humor, romance, first kiss Summary: “I’m just saying,” Mina says, propping her chin in her hand and pouting, “it’s unfair. It’s totally unfair. We were all fools and our punishment is too extreme to be borne. The gods are making us pay.” Bakugou cracks an eye open from where he’s sprawled out with his head in Kirishima’s lap. It’s a nice day, closing in on the end of summer during their third year of school, and the heat is fully upon them. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “That,” she huffs, and points. “Oh,” Bakugou says wryly. “That.” --- Or, Sero gets hot over summer break and Todoroki gets his man (though not without a few bumps along the way) Notes: the obliviousness is STRONG with this one. Paired with Todoroki's not-quite-perfect understanding of social cues, this is *chefs kiss*

Shovel Talk by nirejseki [1.7k, The Flash]

Ratings: not rated, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Additional Tags: canon divergence Summary: Barry warned him that people might try to give Len the shovel talk, now that Barry had decided to bring his and Len's year-old relationship into the light. Len never said he was going to be nice about letting them. Notes: Len is a little shit and I love him for it. he also doesn't take shit from anyone. it's fantastic.

Everybody else is second best by barrylen [3.8k, The Flash]

Ratings: teen and up audiences, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Additional Tags: fix-it, light angst, fluff Summary: Barry couldn't stop sneaking glances at Leo and Ray. Leo had a plan, of course. Notes: I'm a sucker for fix-its. thats it. i cant stand the fact that they killed len off and every fix there is ill swallow it whole

Mr. Blue Sky by BeauregardsTaxicab ( @beauregardstaxicab ) [269k, The Flash]

Ratings: Teen and up audiences, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Additional Tags: canon divergence, humor, friendship, angst with a happy ending Summary: Shortly after Barry is struck by lightning, Iris discovers that not only does he have a secret boyfriend, but that boyfriend is Leonard Snart, a notorious thief. She learns to trust him, however, as they both begin looking into Dr. Wells for Barry's sake. Over the nine months that Barry's asleep, their team grows and they discover more frightening details about the man who was currently keeping Barry alive. Together, they have to figure out the whole truth and make a plan to keep Barry safe before Dr. Wells catches onto them, or there will be no stopping him... Notes: I read this entire thing in a week. maybe less. (and finished it this morning!!) i am INSANE over the coldflash dynamic in this one. It's so good, so sweet, they're so in love and i want to cry. the plot is FANTASTIC i was hanging on every word. I can't explain how much i loved this—every single twist, every single moment of agony and happiness, there was no tearing me away from this. It is worth every single one of the 21 chapters and the 268,722 words within them. 1000/10. im never recovering. i need to leave five hundred comments once i regain brain function

NSFW FICS

Mantra by goldsaffron [4.9k, One Piece]

Ratings: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings Relationship(s): Silvers Rayleigh/Gol D. Roger Additional Tags: observation haki, kenbunshoku, pre-canon, getting together, sharing a bed, strangers to lovers, domestic bliss Summary: Rayleigh and Roger meet, and Rayleigh promptly develops telepathy. At least, that's what it seems like, because Rayleigh swears he can sense Roger's emotions. Affection, jealousy, desire--but is Rayleigh just imagining it? There's no way Roger wants him like that... right? Alternatively, how Roger and Rayleigh discovered kenbunshoku haki and fell in love along the way Notes: the TENSION between these two. goldsaffron is one of my favorite Roger/Ray authors, and this one SHOWS IT. the build up and series of events to lead up to the final wall breaking down and both of them giving in... absolutely love this fic. i think ive read it like, three times in the past couple of days

you heat me like a filament by priestkink [6k, Spider-man: Spider-Verse]

Ratings: explicit, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Miguel O'Hara/Peter B. Parker Additional Tags: Body worship, body image, blow jobs, intercrural sex, fantasizing, established relationship Summary: Peter thinks Miguel is unfairly, distractingly hot. Miguel shows Peter that he is, too. Notes: Body appreciation but in the "I'm so obsessed with you how DARE you think you're anything but perfect and exactly what i want" my favorite vintage. regular revisit

shallow then halo by xarvel [1.9k, Spider-man: Spider-Verse]

Ratings: explicit, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Miguel O'Hara/Peter B. Parker Additional Tags: Trans Miguel O'Hara, Trans Peter Parker, established relationship, use of AFAB terms Summary: Peter trembles above him, both hands on Miguel’s chest as he moves, and if Miguel could drown in this, he would. “There you are,” he murmurs, and Peter huffs out a laugh, turning to kiss the inside of Miguel’s wrist. Notes: toe-curling smut with a smattering of sweet dirty talk. nothing better than fucking three orgasms out of yours boyfriend and then losing your own mind (with love)

just for show by arxaris ( @arxaris ) [1k, My Hero Academia]

Ratings: explicit, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Sero Hanta/Todoroki Shouto Additional Tags: PWP, fake/pretend relationship, getting together Summary: “Shouto,” he gasped, vaguely wondering when they had switched to using given names all the time, instead of just in public. “Wh-what are we - oh, fuck - what are we doing?” “Fucking,” Todoroki panted. “Specifically, I’m riding you.” Sero huffed a laugh that turned into a moan. “Not what I-I meant, baby,” he replied, and suddenly he was distracted again, trying and failing to remember when exactly pet names had been brought into private, too. Just like this, it had sort of just happened. Notes: TASTY AS HELL. i love seroroki pissing off endeavor, and I love them getting together over it even more

We Keep Rockin' by orphan_account [1.7k, The Flash]

Ratings: explicit, no archive warnings apply Relationship(s): Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Additional Tags: jealous len, possessive len Summary: They'd been in this situation before, Barry pressed against the nearest surface, Cold fucking into him with a rhythm that was anything but gentle. Yet despite the rough and hot and heavy movements of their typical exchanges, Barry couldn't help but feel like there was an underlying rage to Snart’s thrusts tonight. Notes: the possessiveness, the jealousy—perfect and delicious. I love this fic so much.

if you made it to here, thanks for sticking around!! go give love to all of these wonderful authors, and I will see you on the next fifteenth o7

[silly-thinkings]

AGFC pt.5

A/n: Last chapter for now. I'm happy with this kind of conclusion. I've been feeling a bit down lately with my writing. like... insecure about it. I have all these W.I.Ps and Ideas but I don't think I got that oomph that I had when I started this blog ya know. If Im going to continue this series then it'll probably follow Young Justice season 3. Maybe Y/n will make an appearance in season 2 with Kaldure ya know. Anyway! Enjoy, let me know what you think :) Stay hydrated! Drink water plz

Y/n knew Jason was dead. It didn’t matter how fast her father was on his batmobile. She did the math, he won’t get there in time. Y/n sat in an isolated room, no different from the one Clark had put her in all those years ago. Except this time she was in the bat cave. She scratched at her inhibitor collar as she reflected on all the memories that Megan had stolen from her. No wonder Lex was after her, she was talented. Her fighting style was unmatched. With the right pressure points her opponent can lose control of their arm. A simple tap on a nerve and they’re out of the fight. Suddenly the door opened revealing Alfred holding on to a tray of cookies. A dry laugh escaped the girl before she turned her body to face away from the butler. 

“Lady Y/n-”

“Bruce will be mad at you if you’re here. He might disown you Alfie.”

Alfred closed his eyes. It pained him to see her like this. He placed the tray down and took a seat behind her. She felt his presence, but more importantly she felt a slight draft coming into her cell. 

“I’ll speak to Bruce about this. Y/n understand that you are an amazing girl. Capable of so much good in the world.”

Now y/n felt tears swell her eyes “I’m a weapon Alfred. Do you think someone dressed like this saves people? Ha! And what of that Martian girl. She gets a slap on the wrist for messing with our memories.”

Alfred was about to say something but The sound of Tim’s voice echoed in the cave. 

“Bruce said not to talk to her till he got back.”

That finally set her off. Y/n closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was going to save Jason. Then she’ll run away. Forget this family. Forget everyone! 

Y/n quickly stood and Jammed two fingers along Alfred’s shoulders stunning the man. She then applied pressure to other parts of his back and arms successfully subduing him. Alfred fell to the floor as numbness seeped throughout his body. he looked back in shock as Y/n grabbed a cookie that had fallen and fled the cell. But she wasn’t in the clear yet. She needed to get the inhibitor color off. Tim took a stance infront of where the key cards were held.

“You’re not getting pass me Y/n”

Tim didn’t expect her to move so fast. He was able to block and evade some of her moves but as soon as she applied pressure on his calves he fell over. 

“Pressure points works wonders when your facing an opponent bigger than you Timmy.” Y/n successfully knocked the teen out. She reached for the keycard and removed the collor. In an instant her powers returned. 

“Don’t miss y/n please.”

Y/n flew to the door, looking down at the only man who showed up to all her events. Who fed her, to took care of her with all his heart. “I’m sorry Alfred. Goodbye.”

***

Y/n couldn’t believe she actually made it. Her flight was slow but by pushing her feet against the air using her strength she was able to speed as fast as she ever could. It created a popping sound with every step, greatly satisfying her.  Y/n broke into the safe house. Jason layed limp on the floor, y/n heard the sound of ticking. She frantically looked for the bomb. 

“N-no time” Jason gasped for air, he didn’t know who was there to save him but he’s sure glad they’re here.

Y/n seemingly ignored his cry and continued searching. She was good at disarming bombes. Y/n confidently pulled out the bomb and clipped the right wire successfully stopping the threat. The girl laughed, she did it. She saved her brother. Y/n flew to Jason and grabbed under his arms. “Sorry Jay. I don’t know how to carry you properly. But I disarmed the bomb so we’re good.”

Y/n felt Jason’s body relax slightly as she dragged him out the door. It was then that she heard another beeping sound. Then another. Panicked she followed them to the walls of the shed. There were more. Was the bomb a trap? 

Tick

Tok

Tik tik tok tik

“Y/n? What’s wrong.” Jason attempted to sit up but his broken bones sent pain throughout his body.”

“No. This wasn’t suppose to happen I. There’s more bombs. I can’t disarm them all. I… what.”

Y/n felt dizzy as the flush of sounds overwhelmed her again. Seemingly from every angle in the world. Jason crawled towards his younger sister. He accepted his fate but she gave him hope. Here he was thinking he was a failure. The motion happened so quick y/n cradled herself into a ball again pressing her ears together. She felt Jason enveloping her in a hug. “I got ya kid.”

*Boom*

~~~

~~

~

Y/n fluttered her eyes open. Snow fell from the sky. A mixture of white with black soot fell atop her nose.

Thump-thump

She heard the sound of a drum. When she tried to get up she noticed an arm over her.

Thump…. Thump.

No. It wasn’t a drum it was a heartbeat. Y/n frantically got to her knees to look down at her Brother. His mask and costume ripped. She herself felt pain along the side on her body. But no injury could amount to what she was facing.

“No… no no Jason no hang on. I’ll get help. I’ll find dad. I- I can still-“

Thump

Thump

“You- so cool-“ Jason attempted to smile. There was nothing she could do. It pained him to leave her like this. Y/n placed both of her hands on her face. Then to his chest. She can hear every pop and crackle from his broken bones. 

Thump 

…..

“Jay…. Speak to me. Please.” 

Y/n didn’t scream. She was tired of that. Jason probably wouldn’t want that. She hugged her brother as the sobs grew louder. This wasn’t suppose to happen. She was suppose to prove to everyone that she was capable of being a hero. How could she explain this to Bruce? What would Connor think?

“What have you done?”

The dark knights deep voice made y/n freeze. She looked up, she felt tiny when looking at her armored father “He… protected me. I tried to save him I… I tried to-“

“What you did is got him KILLED Y/n!”

Y/n flinched. He never raised his voice like this.

Bruce realized his mistake. He walked towards them but Y/n frantically shuffled back. Just like she did Clark. 

“You think I killed him? Ha…hahaha” 

0 hours till Y/n Wayne Broke.

Y/n pressed her hands over her eyes “where were you! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU.” She looked up to see Bruce walking away with Jason. Not looking back at her at all “You never show up. And when you do YOUR LATE.” 

Bruce turned to see y/n roll frantically on the grounds. Her laughter and pained screams haunted him.

“We’re just your solders. That’s why Dick left.” Y/n felt a different kind of pressure well up in her eyes. She looked to the sky and saw red. 

Bruce watched as y/n shot lasers out of her eyes. He closed his eyes 

“I’m sorry” he whispered. Bruce left with Jason, his priorities shifting.

Y/n heard him but she didn’t care. For a being who hears everything, that comment fell on deaf ears. For the first time she was alone. Was she free? She didn’t know. Y/n closed her eyes. She rose from the ground like a ghost and flew to the only person who’d maybe treat her fine. 

***

Lex finished his nightly skin care routine. Feeling refreshed and ready for the day. What he didn’t expect was to find Y/n floating behind him. He let out a squeal before realizing it was the clone. Her eyes shut. Outfit ripped and burned. Blood dripping from her side as impailed glass seemingly pulsaded from her.

“You said I was a weapon they feared.” She said in a low tone. 

She was broken. Lex smiled, he didn’t think it would work that fast. What must’ve happened to have this girl seek comfort from him of all people. Lex opened his arm. 

“Come child. Together we can show them.” 

Y/n slowly flew into his arms. No tears left to shed. Drifting off to sleep. 

Epilogue 

Bruce returned to the cave with Jason in his arms. His shoulders felt heavy, he’d failed his children like never before. Alfred quickly ran to his side but no words were exchanged. Bruce looked up at the butler, the pain in his eyes was severe. 

The sound of the zeta tube chimed. Connor practically ran through with Tim close behind. 

“I tried to stop him but-“

Both boys saw Jason. Connor noticed the lack of his sister. 

“Where is she? What happened?”

Tim began shaking his head as he fell to the ground. Impossible she’s half Kryptonian. Alfred frowned aswell. 

Connor clenched his fists “BRUCE! Where is my sister.” He too had time to reflect on his stolen memories, and he felt stupid. How didn’t he know she did something to them. 

“I’m sorry… she’s gone.” 

Alfred covered his mouth. Guilt began to sink in. 

“N-no… no.” Connor fell to his knees. 

On that day, Two members of the bat family were declared dead.

[bibimbinge]

Mark Pakin appreciation post cause why not

THIS IS MARK.

Hes a cutie and I am convinced we are buddies (I have never met this man irl in my life)

teensy background on him, he was a professional badminton player before he decided he wanted to try out acting.. which btw an insane move cause we saw him play in Starlympics, mans have SKILLS!!

Like everyone, he started with a tiny role to test the waters. Yall wanna know what was his first role was??

He was Teh’s college roommate in I Promised You The Moon!! *sidenote @ MARK PAKIN BRING BACK THE LONG WAVY HAIR PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

This was way before BKPP was as huge as they are now but still!! What an iconic debut amirite!!

Anyway, I wanted to write an appreciation post cause we saw with our very own eyes how fast he grew as an actor. In just a year he played 4 characters who are in very different age groups going through very different things. Not an easy task to pull off but he did it. He did it all so well!!!

We got Mark as a high schooler (Thiu in My School President)

Mark played two dudes in their early 20s (Saleng in Moonlight Chicken & Nick in Only Friends)

AND Mark ins his late 20s / late young-adulthood (Night in Last Twilight)

this is ALL WITHIN A YEAR!! after the teeny role in IPYTM he immidiately got signed under GMM and got. to. WORK!

and this isn’t counting him originally getting casted in Cooking Crush before having to do a re-cast cause… well obviously he was over-booked.

What is up with the Marks of the world and wanting to be constantly busy??? We got Mark Lee debuting like 5 different groups + as a solo artist and now we got Mark Pakin who’s booked more roles than many actors whos been in the industry for as long as he has. LEARN TO TAKE A GOOD BREAK MY DUDES!!

anyway SKILLS!! This dude can act!! from playing a best friend whos fed up with his bestie being a loser over his crush to playing a guy committing crimes out of pure jealousy.. he has range and he improved a whole dang lot.

Compared to Mark in the warp effect where we saw him in like.. 10 scenes max.. to Mark as Night in Last Twilight which also about the same number of scenes ((so far)), he's done really good.

the greatest example is Mark as Nick.

duuuude when I tell ya, whenever he popped those heart eyes at Boston I was convinced I knew exactly what he was feeling. He did great at conveying feelings through his eyes and subtle body movements. When he cried, I cried even though Nick was in the wrong.. like he did great!! When he was jealous, I was jealous. I might be an empath who tends to mirror other peoples emotions OR it could just be.. he is THAT good.

Maybe I'm biased or whatever but I believe he's one of the upcoming thai actors you gotta look out for cause.. bros been getting that bag, and he will continue to do so and I will happily watch any series or movies he'll be in.

Alrighty I'm off to take a nap now 😴💤

im tagging a few people who listens to my rants because I love Mark and you should too. @dramalets @markpakin @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @ayansbff

[kennysboxergf]

Attractiveness scale

Im trying to sleep at the moment but the sleep just ain’t coming ya know so im gonna post this and dip but I wanted to rate the Beta Squad members and a few of the guests by attractiveness for fun 🤷‍♀️

this is personal so like not who’s conventionally attractive but who is to me 🤭

the ten ppl I will be ranking are Sharky, Kenny, Chunkz, AJ, Niko (obvs) and then Darkest, Filly, Gib, HP and Johnny Carey cus i cant remember no one else

also no one talk about the spelling mistakes in this it’s late and i dont wanna spell check rn

Coming in on Number Ten its

10 - Harry Pinero

his hairlines reached the base of his skull at this point and he’s just never really been my fav guest so he gets last place unfortunately 😕😕 i think this is only bcus he violates my faves and I stand up against bullying thank you very much

9 - Yung Filly

ok yall gonna get mad at me for this one but he’s very bf material i cant lie just not very attractive for me? There’s some vids and photos where he’s like FINNEEE but then most of the time he’s mad funny and cute just not that attractive ya know and he looks like he’s 4’3”, like I KNOW he’s taller but he dresses and the way he moves idk he moves short af

8 - AnesonGib

ok so I had him 6th originally but I acc looked at pics of him and changed my mind, I have not seen a single Gib vid like from his own channel, ive seen gib in the Mafia vid, some old Chunkz vids and ive seen his fights but he’s so FINE and underrated as fuck like?? Appreciate this man?? And he seems mad kind. I <3 Gib. I do not know anything about him tho but I recently saw a vid of Chunkz from like 6 years ago with him in it and Young gib? Mad fine but also he looks almost child entertainer ish so do with that what you will

7 - Chunkz

aight ya ok, my BAD, im SORRY but like he’s just not it for me, he’s leng i wont lie but like he’s so authoritative and i cant with that ya know? Like I need a chill man for me im somehow worried this man gonna slap my neck if I talk back and im not tryna get treated like toddler im tryna be your girl? calm ur ass down and we talk

6 - AJ

ok SO I know, I know, im going to get absolutely dragged and maybe even jumped for how low this is but like once again he’s very aggressive and sh and I cnat deal with that, he MAD fine tho he’s so Hahrhdhhfbdnsk but like I rate the others better he is taller then me tho so he can have that

5 - Johnny Carey

YALL SLEEP ON THIS MAN, YALL ARE SNORING AND DROLLING AND EVERYHTING CUS THIS MAN IS SO FINE like I cnat deal with him he’s so fine to me? Like yeah he looks a little wonky and asymmetrical but like? Have you seen the wya he looks at people? Omgmgmmgmg

4 - Kenny

considerably low considering my username but ive developed as a person dont judge me but he mad mad good looking, when he boxes?? 10/10 in a track suit?? 10/10 this entire man is one big SMASH like ❤️

3 - Niko

this man is so cute but also hot its weird to believe he exists like?? I want to climb him like a tree, nuff said and maybe he IS a little lanky but he’s MY sorta lanky (ive always been this way, the nickname for my crush in middle school was lanky tree like taht legit what he called him and looking back he WAS lanky af)

2 - Sharky

Sharky, Sharky, Sharky where do I even start? I think the Sharky girlies on here have said enough for me, he’s hot, he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny what more do you even want? And he dresses so NICE and his smile is so SWEET and he’s CARING like omg I might fall in luv and his Hands. Thats it. Look at his hands my Lordy lord.

1 - Darkest Man

my bae, my love, I will defend his bald head for life, Aaliyah has SPOILED me by mentioning how fine he was cus now i cant Stop watching every video ever with him in it, ive watched FootAsylum, his own channel, Chunkz Channel, Sharky’s Channel, even JD sports just to watch him on my screen like he’s so funny I’m cracking up every other second and he looks good doing it too and the faces he makes and HIS HANDS omg dont even get me started heiwkwkskfb I cnat even he’s my no. 1 🫶🫶

Done

ok so taht was my list and now im gonna nominate my mutuals to do this too, you can go for the same guests or choose your own its entirely up to you but I wann see some more opinions so please do it 🫶🫶

Taglist- @b4tasquad @allygatcr @shuuuuush @vctrvn-ls

Sadly that is all my moots, I thought I had more but thats it I guess, I hope yall can find time to do this otherwise its fine 😭🫶

[pansyboybloom]

Wait so I'm confused here so bear with me; That post about the tmra thing, what is your stance on trans men talking about the issues affecting them specifically? I'm genuinely asking, cos it doesn't seem clear where you stand on this or how you view folks talking about trans man/masc issues specifically.

I know that seems weird to ask but I'm now so cautious in online trans space cos I apparently "don't have it as bad as a trans women" whenever I talk about my experience in the health sector dehumanising me and with queer spaces demonising me as a trans man or overall men or attractions to them, which just hurts because we have our unique issues. I'm just trying to understand what you feel.

You're welcome to ignore this if you want. /gen

this got soooo long im so sorry, but i wanted to give you a genuine answer so here we go!

so the person i was vauging about is a proud mra, like. 2014 men's right's activist opinions. obv im not gonna post his URL bc im not about that kind of life, but it's Bad. like, i 'explicitly hate women and im blaming them for the patriarchy hurting me, esp trans women' bad. the dude is a total douche.

now, as for us talking about our issues-- disclaimer here, i'm a white, gay, relatively gnc trans man who lives in the southern USA and passes well and im using that as my jumping-off point. I've been reading into some theory lately (whipping girl is great so far), but this is mostly my own experiences, not theory, based. I've mentioned it before, but i don't believe in misandery, and in that vein, i think that makes the concept of 'transmisndry/androphobia' misguided. in my interpretation of my transness, as someone who's lived as a woman for 19 years and a man for 5, I'm not facing discrimination for gaining manhood, but instead for losing womanhood. I'vd talked about that here and here, in reference to this quote but here are the highlights that are related to my opinion on being punished for leaving womanhood

trans men, on the other hand, are reaching for that 'ideal'[malehood]. we are trying to leave behind the despised and weak [womanhood], and that's so silly, so pathetic, you stupid little girl, you really think you can be the top in society? that's why radfems and similar 'feminists' say we are betraying our sex; they see it as leaving behind safety (women) for the enemy (men). to them, we are leaving them to rot in alone womanhood while we try to become the privileged ones stepping on their necks. this is also why the narrative surrounding trans women is predatory and sexual-- women only have power through sex, so a man would only want to leave manhood for sexual gratification-- while the narrative for us is that we are pathetic and tricked. women are stupid and delusional if they believe they could ever leave behind our oppression for privilege

and

that's why i don't see me being discriminated against as a trans man as something uniquely tied to anti-maleness / misandery/ androphobia / etc, but instead, just a facet of transphobia and misogyny (as well as ableism and such for me personally, but im talking bigger picture). I'm seen as a ruined woman because i betrayed gender roles. to them, im not transitioning because i am, ya know, actually a man, instead, i'm purposefully clawing my way out of the pit and hightailing it to the top, which is threatening. society doesn't like when women (trans men) are suddenly trying to be a class that is protected and privileged. im not transitioning to get access to privilege, but that's what it looks like to a transphobe, be them conservative man or radfem. im scary because im rocking the boat, not because im masculine, and they hate me because im showing their binary and hierarchy are false, not because im masculine. im stupid and delusional and a failure and a silly little girl and a bamboozled idiot tricked by trans women as well as a ruined woman and a rotten woman because of misogynistic binary power structures, not because im a dude. ya know? anyways, what holds me back is the gender binarist, cissexist, transphobic, and misogynistic stew that affects all trans people, just differently on a systemic and individual level

but i dont want people to think that we don't face our own issues. for example-- despite being on t for like 5 fucking years, I've had my period come back multiple times after switching back to gel. i panicked and went to a doc the 1st time, worried i was idk, dying, and she blew me off as not knowing my body and being hysterical. now do i think this was because i was trans? yes. do i think it was because i was a trans man? yes. but not because of the man part, but because of the 'was a woman' part. this doc was not seeing emil, the man, she was seeing emil, the stupid little girl who is playing pretend, and as such she treated me with the same disrespect she would a cis woman, just with different pronouns. I've found that most discrimination i have faced has more to do with people still seeing me as a woman and treating me as such, even when i pass and am very clearly a man.

now, do i think masculinity in the queer community is seen as bad? to an extent, yes, but i think that comes from gender essentialism more than any kind of misandry. butch women are abandoning 'the right kind' of womanhood, so they're bad. masc nb people, gnc people, and masc men are leaving behind the 'palatable' version of queerness that is, for lack of a better word, tied to femininity from a binarist and essenalist viewpoint. this femininity is an insult, wrong, so it is expected of queer people. this femininity is fake, easily dominated, flimsy, and docile in the eyes of a binarist and essentialist society. so queer people, who must be fake, easily dominated, flimsy, and docile to be safe for cishet society, must not be masculine. and like i said, even then it has to be the right kind of femininity. just ask any femme lesbian or trans woman or gnc trans man, like i am. we are punished for being feminine 'wrong' -- i could talk about this for hours, but i won't take up too much of your time haha. basically, i think that masculinity is punished in the queer community not bc of misandry/androphobia but because in the queer community, masculinity is being practiced in a way that breaks the norms we have internalized. it alllll comes back to the binary, gender essentialism, and misogyny.

obviously, my opinion is not the end all be all, and i welcome other takes and thoughts, (esp on this ask haha), but when it comes to other trans men, the insistence that a) misandry/androphobia/male oppression is real b) trans women are the cause of the problem or bad for calling us out when we say something gross and c) we don't need to do any soul searching on our own binarist, essentialist, or (trans)misogynistic thoughts, are when i have a problem. not when trans men want to talk about the oppression they face. i should be able to talk about that doctor's appointment, and you should be able to talk about your life experiences! just be sure not to fall into any internalized bigotry unintentionally in the process.

does that help? pls let me know if it does or doesn't, if it doesn't id love to dm and chat more

[weirdcat1213]

fuck

here we go

vol 10 thoughts

chap 1:

-IMIMIMIM NOT READY FOR THISSSS

-nooo dont make me read it, im too broken already

-NOOOO SHUT UPPPPPP

-delusion oh dear geesus

-DONT ASK THAT WHY WOULD ASK THAT :C

-stfu wolfwood please, ik you love him and admire him but stfu pls

-huh

-oh right....this is how...yeap

-please leave wolfwood just fucking leave

-although yeah thats interesting, im not sure if he thought vash or someone would come for him but yeah, if he actually thought that was the end he would have taken the vials...hmmm

-or maybe not. maybe he was ready to defend the orphanage and be done with it

-ouch

chap 2:

-HE TOOK NO DISCIPLE THAT WAS KIDNAPPING BASICALLY FUCK YOU

-livio ill say this with love....rn i do not fucking care about your self worth/attachment issues. he can go to hell, he and his stupid fucking gun

-OH NO THE CHILDREN

-LMAO HER PLAN WAS GOOD AND THE CHILDREN WERE LIKE "YEAH NO"

-go to FUCKING HELL CHAPEL SHUT UUUUP

-SHUT UP YOU KNOW HES SENSITIVE ABOUT THAAAAAT

-FUCKER

-well this is fucked this is so fucked (may i remind the people this is my 2nd reading)

-ah yey, the tears are here

-"we could have done this as a team" then WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. NOW YOURE IN THIS FUCKING PAINFUL AND STUPID POSITION. YOU KNOW WHATS SHES FUCKING RIGHT, YOU NEVER LISTENED TO HER NOR VASH AND WENT TO DO SHIT ON YOUR OWN, AND NOW YOURE HERE. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED OF DOING EVERYTHING ALONE CUZ THATS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. YOU CARRIED YOUR LONELINESS FOR YEARS, BUT YOU ARE ABOUT TO REALIZE YOU WERE NEVER ALONE, BUT ITS TOO LATE NOW ISNT IT??? YOU PRECIOUS STUPID DUMBASSS

-this is literally where the fun ends (kinda)

-OH THANK GOD YOURE FUCKING HERE FINALLY

-oh this is when i start to cry like a baby oh geesus

chap 3:

-WHY DO YOU THINK HE CAME YOU DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSS (ily)

-wolfwood i fucking swear-

-razlo can you not, youre scaring the children, the readers and me

-also the ultimate pacifist vs the ultimate "what if i make a hole in your head for funsies"

-silly me thought the 1st time"oh vash is here so literally nothing can happen"....ja

-yeap, theres also that

-if the book club survives this i would love to buy everyone virtual drinks actually. the people who dont drink can have a nice lemonade

-SPIN THAT FUCKER WOLFWOOD :D

-NOT THEM NOT TRUSTING HIS ANGEL ARM PLSSSS

-"im a friend of nicholas" i may throw up out of sadness

-oh thats cruel for you? really?

-good fucking riddance old man

-razlo stop i dont want to sympathize with you rn

-VASH QUICK DO SOMETHING-

-THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING COUPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-"they switched to fighting as a team" im gonna eat glass

-i love how this chapter ends. thanks for the goofy moment before you pluck my heart out in front of my eyes, nightow

-also if you dont see how thats the face of someone trying to confess something really important but failing idk what to tell you

chap 4:

-"death omen" SHUT UP NIGHTOW

-YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :c

-[side note but if orange animates this is gonna hurt like HELL cuz they have highlighted a lot wolfwood's thing with survival so...yeah]

-STOP MAKING YOUR HUSBAND SAAAAAAAAD

-oh...oh no

-HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING NOW SHUT IT

-THE FUCKING. FUCKING. TOUCH

-OW

-those fucking eyes damn hes pissed

-OW RIGHT, HIS NOSE...AH

-oh..oh honey no pls dont leave pls dont leave him alone ik you understand whats gonna happen but please dont please come back-

-oh that blank panel, oh geesus

-YA BRATTTTT

-FUCK OFF RAZLO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

chap 5:

-i dont get much about this fight ngl

-razlo's eye is so cool but also FUCK OFFFFFFF

-FASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

-OHOHOHOH YEAH LETS GO LETS HIT IT

-DAMN

-PUNCH IN THE FACE BITCH

chap 6:

-not the...not the fucking parallel with vash and razlo....nightow why

-HAHGSYU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE BLOOD

-wait what-

-VASH TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-nononononononNONONONONO NO

-right right, i fell for it again

-THATS IT WE WIN- AH NO SHIT FUCK

-i told you he was a cunt razlo

-oh shit thats, thats beautiful

-i dont mean this as a negative thing against nightow/the story...BUT DID LIVIO'S FUCKING IDEA HAD TO BE THIS FUCKING LATE????? YOU ARE FUCKING WITH ME

-yey...hes back

chap 7

-for the love of geesus pls dont make me read this

-this is more from a personal standpoint but it makes me so fucking sad he felt guilty at the idea of going back to the orphanage cuz no matter what that was always his home, a place he could have come back to. not everyone has one of those. but alas, now its too late

-.....no. he doesnt care that you are a killer or that you have one of the coins, that you were gonna betray him anytime. he doesnt care wolfwood so fucking stop trying to be the villain here.

-ik fucking know why wolfwood doesnt wanna go....but fucking damn it

-this chapter is so quiet. the 1st time i was listening to mr bluesky but the chapter's lack of music just fits.

-maybe YOU are alright but im not. ill never be alright with this

-when i get my own place im not buying a couch and thats a promise

-"smile needle noggin" [crying pause]

-IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT

-god literally has never made vash any favors ever and the ONE TIME he needed someone bigger than everything else...nothing happened

-"and we can celebrate" WHY DID NIGHTOW PAINTED HIS FUCKING DEATH LIKE A CELEBRATION??? YES, HE GETS HIS FREEDOM BACK, HE GETS TO GO HOME, TO SEE HIS FAMILY, TO SHARE A DRINK WITH HIS SOULMATE BUT I CANT STAND IT I CANT

-ofc you did, wolfwood has never been good at lying

-and there it is, til death do them part as they say idk

-...............................................................................................................

chap 8

-im gonna eat my hand, glass, my computer, my house, the world-

-so...do we think that grave was just laying around or...

-DONT YOU FUCKING ASK THAT (IKIKIKIK BUT STILL, LIKE LOOK AT VASH'S EYES HE GETS IT)

-CALL ME STUPID BUT I GENUIENLY FORGOT ABOUT THE HAIR

-literally "stay away from him asshole"

-imagine knowing for a fact you broke something really important inside your brother and laughing about it

-baby oh my baby your hair, your little and stupid blond hair

-orange you have hinted at this so many times and let me tell you one thing, if you do it it has to hurt in the best way possible because this scene deserves nothing but the best

-i respect and wonder how nightow is so good at comic relief. its still a sad scene, everything fucking hurts, the reader will never be the same again...but he can put bits and pieces of comedy that make you chuckle or at least smile to then continue to hit you with a bat

-NOT THE JESUS ALLEGORY CARRYING A FUCKING CROSS, go to hell nightow

-and thats his cross?....to survive?????? im dead

-oh so he doesnt take it? ngl after this my first reading turned into a blur, god knows what i was thinking

im..........yeah. i fucking hated that, as i thought i would

[feminisedlad]

How might one get into "reading for a living" because that's a dream job

it is not a dream job, its called publishing and i make less than 40k a year LOL.

to be less arch, im an editor, and i work in editorial which is the 'flashy' department (lmao), but it's a pretty stressful job. obviously it's one i enjoy because no one would stay in the industry unless they got some reward for it. but still. i say 'reading books' is my job but thats probably only like 40% of it. a lot of my day to day work involves nagging people for deadlines, having meetings abt whether XYZ feature will cost extra, researching marketing trends, etc. YMMV if you work as a book designer or some other dept, i know they have different rules. this isnt to bitch but i think publishing has REALLY good PR among english majors and these are things i wish someone had told me before i sunk money into a publishing degree. BTW: dont get a publishing degree. experience > MA in publishing

so like, i cant in good conscience recommend the industry -- its sort of like going to grad school except with worse pay (the phd candidate gets a stipend; the unpaid intern does not.) but if you already have prion disease and you want to go into publishing, heres what i got

publishing advice below:

first things first, you need book experience. you can get this through the obvious ways (working on ur college lit mag, unpaid internships, copyediting freelance work) but i feel like that prob goes without saying. so what ill say is: if none of those options work, you could always work at a bookstore. lots of the editors i work with actually got their start by saying in the interview, "i worked at barnes and noble and noticed that [category] sells well. i love noticing which books resonate with people" or what have you

i will say that i work in nonfiction publishing, which has some differences from like, editing queer YA fiction. one of those jobs is more competitive than the other. and the industry standards are pretty toxic (if your author misses his deadline and sends the manuscript at 6pm, tough shit, you have to work late to make sure the book doesn't miss its pub date. if you're not thinking about all your books constantly, you must not really care. etc.)

that said one of the best things i can recommend is looking into publishing jobs in different departments. most people are competing for editorial department jobs (things like acquiring and signing books, and being the main point of contact for an author.) but if your passion mostly lies in editing or making things pristine, managing editorial departments often hire production editors who still read through all the books, but their day to day work is more like proofreading, checking barcodes, and other printing related tasks.

theres also finance. finance publishing jobs are never anyones first choice, but on the plus side, you wont have to tell the author why his advance is late. thats the acquiring editor's job. and also lots of people pivot to editorial after they have some years doing finance, design, production, etc.

i will say there are way more remote publishing jobs now than ever. theyre all super competitive but you should apply anyway. if youre entry level, look for "editorial assistant" type roles. some of these actually pay really well: to give an example, harvard hires copyeditors and editorial assistants at a rate which is more than my yearly salary. i mean, its harvard. you gotta look around. but there are more options besides the big 5 publishers. academic publishing is its own field! work at your favorite journal/database! work at JSTOR or wiley!

i dont think theres anything else i would add, other than just random shit talking abt industry standards and quirks of the industry. i dont want to sound whiny because i realize im lucky to be working in my field -- but, i think people oversell publishing as one of "the only career options for english majors."

to be totally honest, most people could make double or triple my salary from being a project manager or corporate editor. so if you enjoy reading and editing, there are better options to you than trade publishing. if you enjoy the act of connecting with authors and making their vision a reality, you might enjoy publishing. or you might not. idk!

[sunshinechay]

The way my mind connects the dots with 0 hesitation is hilarious. I could be seeing something like "Omg Michael is SO hot, looks so good with his hair like that, my little meow meow!" and Im like "ya Michael-

Seater?

Cera??

Myers!

from the group chat??!!!???

Really be like that (I barely care about any of those people, my brain will just pick at random), wild to see this post in the wild tho, its been years since I saw fans of (pick your fighter).

Only to find out OP is talking about a totally unrelated Michael from something I've never heard of, but its too late, ive already connected the dots in such a hilarious way, I gotta reblog now. But im collecting the new Michael for another similar situation if this ever comes up again.

I remember in high school we had this classmate named John Oliver and for the life of me, I couldn't understand that my friends were talking about John Oliver the tv host. They'd sit there saying the wildest shit like "Did you hear what insane shit John Oliver did last week?" and for a whole 5 seconds I'd be SO concerned about our mutual classmate only to be told this is about some random dude I don't know or watch (back then) and suddenly the world made a LOT more sense. But for those 5 seconds my mind created real terror and I just had to know what kind of sitcom life my classmate was living every fucking week.

So anyways, if you're always wondering why i keep re-blogging posts about your favs with the dumbest tags, its because I keep re-living Last Week with John Oliver time loop with you😭.

I don't even read your url, im just scrolling fast and every time im like "wait Effy slow down, this made no sense, dont just accept that" I look at the url and you're talking about some whole other guy.

Like I really saw your post and went "ah the creepy pasta girlies from 2012 breached containment and hit my dash again...ya...i'll reblog" and it was literally NOT about that Jeff at all.

I need an option to highlight your username in big and bold so my brain understands that your favs and my brain has 0 overlap and idk any of those people. This keeps happening with just you on my dash and no one else. I remembering struggling with my life, during your vegas era (of vegaspete of kinnporshe). Like this is NOT about Las Vegas at all, but if you asked me what my brain ran off with in those 5 seconds, if left unchecked, you'd understand why I love having you in my dash so much. Scrolling super fast on tumblr with you on my dash is just briefly time traveling to another universe istg.

Plus sometimes I do end up watching what you watch like kinnporshe so thats just a bonus.

Glad I could help! Haha

And don’t worry, my brain frequently does this kind of thing as well. Our brains recognize patterns and make connection only it seems our make connections where there are none, but that’s half the fun. Sometimes I laugh at where my own brain takes me.

I saw your tags on the Jeff posts and laughed because omg can you imagine Jeff the Killer reading his own fanfiction 😂😂😂

However, it’s Jeff Satur we’re talking about and honestly the fact he has read fanfiction about himself is both funny and horrifying like “I’m so sorry you had to witness this Jeff…would like some recs for other fics about you?” 😂😂😂

I’m glad that you have liked the BLs you’ve watched. They’re really just something else, in both good ways and bad and I love them so much. So I’m happy I can spread the joy :)

[f4y3w00d5]

May I ask what you're writing/what you enjoy writing? Perhaps a short synopsis?

*gasp* OMG SOMEONES ASKING ME ABOUT MY STORY???

OKAYOKAYOKAY

Im not very good at the short part but (very) long story short, we've got this 12 year old kid named Asmodeus (half demon), mother gave him away to a circus when he was two (she didnt want a part demon kid even though she literally fucked a demon lol) blah blah blah a whole lot of abuse (treated like one of those freak shows they used to have) and basically one day these two dead teenagers (17 yrs old, technically 18 and 25, but stuck in the mindset of late teenage years and in the form of 17 yr olds) come and they kidnap him essentially (i say kidnap but he went happily) oh and the teens are dating but thats sorta irrelevant (OH BUT WHATS NOT IRRELEVANT IS THAT ONE IS ACTUALLY MY CHARACTER FAYE, MILDLY DIFFERENT COS SHE WASNT ALWAYS FOR WIZARDPOSTING) and they take him to Merlin (old version where he was one of the fae) and he scrys this guy named Evil (pronounced Eh-vil, hes this omnipresent immortal psycho, i drew a picture if ya wanna see) and they go there and they find out who the boys demonic parent is (because when theyre 12-14 they get demon powers in this world, and they needed to know who gave them to him so they could control it), they find out and then they introduce Azzy to the rest of their group!!! 10 chapters, 13,000+ words currently, hoping to get it published. Titled it Freak Show. Im hoping to turn it into a series (already got ideas for like 5 other books with the same characters lol)

I hope this wasnt too long!!!