#im not explaining this well i dont even know what the point is. I JUST THINK THERES SOMETHING HERE IDK WHAT

[boozeforbrains]

You say you’re sober, but a lot of your posts are about disregarding limits or POS friends who enable drinking or talking sober people into drinking. Is it a fantasy of yours for your sobriety to be broken? Or do you see yourself as the enabler pushing the sober person in these kinds of scenarios?

Warning very serious and not so serious approach to this topic

Hmm yeah difficult psychosexual situation for me.

I do fantasize about being like bullied or forced into having my sobriety broken and it turns me on like very few other things, i always had the fantasy of forced intoxication/accidental intoxication/pushed/tricked/etc, ranging from being subtly manipulated to being literally tied up/kidnapped/whatever and for all intents and purposes forced, mentally and physically.

It became sort of more specific after i decided to be sober. I think if i genuinely had this happen to me, specifically if the other person got off on it as well and was very focused on getting me drunk id probably get off on it forever, literally a wet dream come true.

Sometimes i wonder if its a way out of being responsible for my own sobriety, or for drinking „just one more time“ im thinking its probably many things including this but also a life long fantasy.

Im always torn on the „do it or dont“ i genuinely do not believe there is truly a way to decide between right and wrong here. Only the time i have on this earth and what i decide to do with it. And again, ive had this fantasy since before puberty, at this point i wonder if its more of a need than a wish.

On the other hand i am an extremely responsible and health conscious person, i have a very full schedule, not a lot of time off and high expectations for myself in regards to my physical, (inter)personal, academic and work performance, all of which are pretty big contraindications to indulging myself as much as id like. (And presumably also the reason i tend to drink so heavily cause i cant get my brain to stop pushing myself to doing better and better and more and more)

Im also not a casual drinker at all. I dont drink often, i dont drink just one glass and i dont enjoy the taste of alcohol tbh, i never was a one beer/glass of wine to unwind type guy. I usually go for pretty long periods of time not even caring about alcohol at all and then drink very hard for a shorter period of time (it has to be worth it style) which is also why it took me a while to realize that my behaviour is not healthy regardlng alcohol tho again, Alcohol is just not healthy, no not even one glass, this has been proven by multiple studies at this point. its a neurotoxin that very much kills and cripples people, if were looking at it from a very sober (haha) perspective. (And since i work in healthcare i have seen the very real consequences of consistent, heavy alcohol abuse)

I dont know that i would feel comfortable pushing someone else into breaking sobriety, it would be a very individual decision for sure, mainly depending on how informed the other person was, how much they were consenting etc. i definitely wouldnt dare do it on a whim for purely my own pleasure, tho i could see myself indulging someone who was giving me a clear „go“ and enjoying it.

Even working the bar ive felt uncomfortable serving someone who after a couple drinks let drop to someone they were chatting with that theyd been sober for the last seven months. It made me sad because i know how much genuinely hard work it is.

On the other hand awooga drunk hot and sexy. That part is very implemented in my brain as well.

Not sure if this is the answer you were looking for, its definitely a complex topic for me, i hope i could sort of explain my feelings and thoughts on it to your statisfaction.

[violetnaps]

this was not on my bingo for this year i guess.

[apathyfairy]

me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

[bunnihearted]

🥡

[kohakhearts]

i feel like yeah i mean, gary is essentially a palaeontologist, but he has this like, Thing established early in the narrative about Bonds between pokemon and humans - emphasized in his eevee evolving into umbreon, of course, but this part of his character is…interesting, because we’re given hints that kind of go against the idea that in the indigo league he’s not as emotionally attached to his pokemon as, say, ash (a nod to his character inspiration in blue, obviously, who professor oak says can’t win because he doesnt love his pokemon enough or whatever. similarly in the anime prof oak is the one to point out the difference in ash’s and gary’s styles of raising pokemon, that ash values friendship and gary values strategy, which……..aren’t really mutually exclusive and ash shows us this too but whatever. my point is gary has lines and actions prior to that exchange that are kinda contrary to what prof oak says there). anyway i just woke up from a pretty intense nap to say that i think we all should lean into gary being more anthropological in his pokemon research compared to goh in particular who is a lot more scientific and whose character arc kinda functions around learning to accept that humans and pokemon can and do have mutually beneficial relationships, something he rejected initially under the assumption that pokemon can’t learn to help themselves if humans are always rushing in to do the hard stuff for them. like in a way they have a common goal of research yes but i think this is an interesting disconnect that would be fun to explore because its a big area of potential conflict that the anime doesnt show us because they have so many OTHER conflicts that make them good foils to each other And by the time they meet this isnt something goh is grappling with nearly as much as he was in the beginning. but i feel like later in his life it’s something he believed so deeply for so long maybe it could affect his research. i dont know how to coherently put this into words - that nap really drained my brain power, which was already low anyway - but i am so interested in the idea that a cold, detached view of science is antithetical to the study of it. and like who better to prove that to you then the guy who pisses you off so bad you stop being cold and detached about things without even realizing it

[aria0fgold]

I never thought tofu could be this terrible.

[5qu1dink]

dad doesn’t know how to approach child with autism more at 11

[headofhelios]

when i was a kid the idea of like surprise birthday parties was so like. idk i wanted it and it never happened but now its actually like. gonna happen to me but at a really really bad time when i am going to be very stressed and whatever the surprise thing is will probably make it worse so its like. hmm. early birthday gift of being nauseous with anxiety a month in advance

[todayisafridaynight]

taking a coin out and opening clip today like 'oh boy who am i going to project onto today ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶'

[myownprivatcidaho]

thoseve yall who were here a year ago might remember that a year ago He was liking tweets like "idk how people can cheat when im in love im obsessed😍" and "the honeymoon stage rlly doesnt die if youre with the right person🥰" and he was liking stuff like that up till recently now shit like this is in his likes something is BROKEN in him

[sirompp]

just saw a l0whunt post where they KISSED feeling VERY violated even though it was properly tagged and i was the one who clicked on it anyway. but.

[whoviandoodler]

day 302903203 of youtubers i follow saying the most autistic shit on this goddamn earth

[yosh-iro]

wikihow to make people not hate you

[29121996]

.

[killjoy-prince]

Why are the second bad relationship ends hard to get for the deep route boys ughhhhhhhhhh

[florida3exclamationpoints]

My mom just came in my room right after I got home to be like how did it go???? What happened???? When are you going back?? How do you feel??? Are you ok???? What are your hours???? What did they say??? And I know she means well but