#im not funny . not attractive . im just smart . thats it . thats all i am

[britneyshakespeare]

Man is saying weird things to me again

[freebooter4ever]

ignoring everybody in my phone, sorry not sorry ;_;

[sluttypatrickstar]

liveblogging the horrors: without merit by colleen hoover (part 3)

(part 2 is here)

okay, sorry, new part bcus i keep posting so much including all my screenshots and stuff. im doing this on my phone otherwise the linking would be to both parts 2 and 1, but i might do a master post with links to all of the different parts later. if you’re interested in following along, all of these posts should be tagged #elijah reads without merit

chapter six

merit once again thinks honor just isn’t good enough for sagan (based on nothing but her own assumptions)

merit calls the name sagan “smart and sexy” and prefers to call him honor’s boyfriend bcus his name is just so attractive. i don’t know what is so sexy about “sagan”.

you ARE being ridiculous actually

merit is more covered up at the pool than honor, because she doesn’t feel as confident (see the above screenshots). i will forgive merit’s problematic thinking above because honestly i think teenagers can and do think like that. what i will NOT be forgiving here is that luck starts bothering her about it and insinuating that everyone has already seen what she looks like under the t shirt because they can see honor. bro you are an adult and her step uncle stop trying to make her reveal more of her body and stop implying that just because they’re identical twins they’re the same person. luck is also trying to therapise her and wants to get to “the root of” why merit is so much less confident and outgoing than her sister. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY. also leave her alone you freak

luck reveals that the reason victoria no longer speaks to him is because he ran away after stealing and pawning all of her jewellery including extremely sentimental inherited pieces. merit uses this as once again a reason to hate victoria for being the stepmom: “Funny how Victoria needs apologies from people, but she’s never once apologized to any of us for tearing out family apart.”

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, MERIT, AND ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IS YOUR FATHER BUT YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT ABOUT VICTORIA AND YOU ARE CONSEQUENTLY SO HORRIBLE TO HER and Barnaby never defends her from merit’s nastiness so honestly i would be in full support of a second victoria divorcing him. she deserves better

INCEST PUKE COMING UP SORRY EVERYONE

merit says that she is not attracted to luck, but bro, why are you even asking that you fucking weirdo!!! i am hitting this man with a bat!!!

merit has been thinking that honor isn’t good enough for sagan this whole time and angsting over him, but sagan brushes some hair off her cheek and she does a complete 180 which is funny

she has SO not been fighting her attraction to him, but i love how she’s like HES DISREPECTING MY SISTER RIGHT NOW AND THATS FUCKED UP. finally some sister solidarity

the chapter ends with more Luck Being Horrifying, including asking merit about her virginity and pressuring her to answer questions about her crush (i think luck knows it’s sagan) in front of all of her siblings (except moby) AND her sister’s boyfriend who she has a crush on. luck you are weird and horrible and i hate you.

[ibuprofenshot]

Would I be friends with MHA characters?

OK I know no one cares abt my relationship with fictional characters so I'm posting this on my dump blog for funsies DONT JUDGE ME IM DELULU OK ok thank you things u should know abt me: I'm introverted and I wont start a conversation with some person I don't know also if you're looking at this STREAM 말하자면 by Kim Sung Jae it's so good ty and rest in peace CLASS 1-A (I'm going to follow seat number order and I'm only doing main characters)

Mina: 100% YES - MINAAA I just KNOW she listens to KPOP - the friend I share the most common interests with (kpop, dancing) - other than that, she's friends with everyone so why wouldn't she be mine? Tsuyu: tbh yeah - I know I said I was an introvert - I don't care - comfortable silence type friendship - She's jus like me fr - I just would OK? Iida: yes - I like people who look out for me so I'll be attracted to him anyways - Big brother yes Ochaco: YES - I love her sm SHES SO NICE - def will be treating her EVERYWHERE - We just get along idk I get her she gets me this is a beautiful AFAB between AFAB relationship Denki: uhmmm yes i think -Look he's nice and all but he's a man and I am wary of men so maybe not as best of friends compared to Mina -He's fun though so plus points for that I think he's pretty funny Kirishima: yeah tbh (2) - again big brother vibes - super helpful super cool - probably won't be around him for much because he's tagging along with Bakugo all the time though Jiro: yes! - super cool super awesome SUPER COOL AGAIN - she jus like me fr (2) - music taste chef's kiss

Tokoyami: no I think - man is too emo for me but I get the hype go and live your wonderful emo life my guy - I like dark shadow though so we might get along

Todoroki: yes>>? -He seems nice but we're both introverts so auhmm -just like Tsuyu friendship -We r both dumbasses when it comes to social cues Bakugo: HELL NO - NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO - SCARY - MEAN - MAN - I will cry Deku: yea :9 - nerd to nerd communication - we probably have so much in common aside from heroes - I just KNOW we'd be good friends Mineta: no - kys Momo: YES - TEA PARTIES - FANCY OUTFITS - SO NICE AND SMART - will lend me reviewers and notes and help me review bcs she's so - I love her

CLASS 1-B (if i can remember anyone other than monoma and kendo)

Kuroiro: tbh yeah - I feel like we get along idk - he's cute why not Kendo: yes!! - Super nice - my AFAB senses are tingling ok I just can't explain it Monoma: yes? idk - he told me that he wanted to have henchmen and I just tagged along idk - he's fun to watch

damn thats really it from 1-B

THE BIG THREE

Mirio: no - I know he's nice - I know he gets naked when he uses his quirk - I dont like naked men Nejire: yes - AFAB tingles again - she probably helped me around the school on my first day Tamaki: no - He wouldn't want to be friends with anyone - I'll leave him alone for his own sake

OTHER HERO ACADEMY STUDENTS

Shinso: no - He's pretty cool but idk I dont think he or I would strike a conversation with one another Mei: yes - I like her inventions I like her veryyy much - interesting to watch - entertaining

ok im tired now bye

[midnighteloquence]

um

i actually dont know where im going to with this rant im just gonna type my emotions til im bored (tw: small mention of sh, suicide, mentions of drugs, depression i think??, relationship talk at some point)

recently ive been more tired and more burned out and sad. i dont know why, maybe its my lack of sleep, maybe uts other factors, but ive just been really depressed. not to the point of cutting again, to the point where im just apathetic towards everything. also C at some point texted me checking up on me and telling me to sleep to “remove the sad”. i got confused and asked why, and they said they were scared of me killing myself. am i really that obvious?? they talked about how tired i looked, how sad i looked, the scars on my arms. they talk alot about how i wont open up or talk about what im going through. no matter how many times you critique me for not opening up im still not gonna fucking do it, sorry to break it to ya. why? because im fucking scared. im scared because what if you laugh? what if you dont even care? what if you say some shit like “real” or “me fr” like you always do? i dont want to open up to you or anyone because of those factors.

recently ive been feeling more and more suicidal. ive been rummaging through the pill cabinets in my house, ive been keeping blades in my school bag and around my room, ive searched up ways to kill myself. ive been more and more tempted to write a note, to save just in case i actually do it. i think the only things holding me back is the fear of after death and my family’s reaction. i dont want my mum to cry because i was stupid enough to kill myself. i dont want to leave my brother alone. i dont want them to have to clean out my room. im scared of something that isnt finite, which is why im so scared of death. if there is an afterlife, you have to stay there infinitely. if there isnt, its pitch black infintely. infinite scares me, commitment scares me. its why im not dead

most days i feel like sleeping or bedrotting til morning. other days i feel like trying to find meds in my house that can give me some sense of euphoria. i want to feel a sense of floating. but none of the things in my house provide that feeling.

i dont feel anything from caffeine. its not even that ive grown a tolerance to it, its just that ive had a high tolerance from the start. maybe its because of my dad, since he drinks alot of coffee. i cant feel energised from anything, it sucks. why cant i feel anything over than sheer exhaustion?

and im not even sure if i want all of it to end, because who am i if not ill? if im not ill i have nothing to prove to people, i wont be able to talk about my problems anymore because id be fine.

i feel like all of my friends are going to leave me. its just a huge, lingering feeling thats been there for years. my friends would be better off without me, im not a good person anyways. im not enough, im not pretty enough or smart enough or talented enough or funny enough, my personality is a bore, i dont talk about anything thats remotely interesting, im overall not good enough. they all know that, i know they all know that. they probably have a groupchat without me, to talk about what i said, and talk about leaving me. So why dont you? leave me, ill kill myself and make you regret leaving me while im suffering (this is over exaggerated sorry)

i like this guy but tbh i dont know what itd be like to date him yk? like i would love to date him, but imagining a romance is sort of, impossible i guess? plus idek if he likes me back or if hes just messing with me, and idk how to ask.

also C kept on talking about how id like to make out with him, which ew. not every person with romantic attraction wants to make out with people. some people want emotional intimacy, devotion, the ups and downs of relationships. sure, physical affection is a thing you can experience in a relationship, but its not the only thing. jesus, all relationships have been dumbed down to is sex and kissing and im sick of it. why cant i have a partner to have every aspect of a relationship? to explore our likes and dislikes, to talk about things we havent shared before, to be emotionally committed, to give and receive, to show sympathy, to love a person.

sorry ik i went from suicide to relationships but at this point im just ranting about things on my mind

ive just grown tired of everything, im so apathetic. every day is blurring together, everything goes by so quickly. im turning 14 this year, I thought i was still 10, playing roblox endlessly with my friends while the world spirals into chaos. but no, im a teenager who spends all her goddamn time on her phone talking about how much she wants to kill herself. im scared of growing up to quick, of growing up at all. what if im an even worse person in the future? what if i dont get accepted to that one uni? what if everyone’s disappointed in me? i dont want to grow up this fast. i remember 4 years ago talking to my dad about how much i wanted an account on youtube, and him saying that i had to be 13. i said that it’d take forever, and he said that time would fly really fast. he was right, i picked my gcse options a couple weeks ago, this academic year has flown by so fast. i dont like it

i fear that im not the person my parents want me to be. i listen to music 24/7, my grades arent as good as they could be, im moody and spend my time in my room. i barely take part in my hobbies anymore, im just a mess. im so disappointing.

i ran out of topics so ill end it there, good night everyone (one person)

[blackvail22]

yeah. i have a negative perception of the world and how things are; i try to pass it as being a realist, but i dont think thats entirely rational

i try to find the good in everything, except myself. i feel like im a lost cause. im never going to amount to anything, so why am i going to the doctors so much? why am i getting so many screenings done, medications, trying to get better... if its all going to go to waste?

i want to try, but im seriously so hopeless.

its his least favorite thing abt me... how i talk bad about myself. im just repeating what people have said about me, what ive learned i am. it makes me sad because although he tells me not to say those bad things, he doesnt compliment me? my overthinking mind jumps to the conclusion that he doesnt find me attractive or smart or funny; instead, he agrees with the bad things i say about myself, that hes just like everyone else. at the same time, i know thats irrational thinking. i know that i shouldnt have to rely on him, or anyone for that matter, to feel okay in my body.

its just hard

i wish i wasnt always stuck in this depressed mindset whenever im not at work or talking to a friend. i hate my days off work when i have nothing to do, but i hate working all the time.

i need to get out of my head

[kataraandtheboomerang]

i think the difficult part of changing yourself, your self concept, your inner world, whatever, is the voices in your head. hear me out, many people have the voice in their head, the inner critic that casts judgement. ive seen it described as the voice of society; it looks at whether people are fat or skinny, ugly or beautiful, clean or dirty and in judging others it also casts judgment on ourselves. then we have the second voice in us, that tells the other one “no, that’s mean, this is what i really think”. when you work to silence that first voice and build self esteem we gain a third voice, the voice that tell us “it’s okay, you are beautiful, you are loved” it is like a deep breath that sees things more rationally, its like a mother. the inner parent?? changing the way you think is difficult because there is a time where there are too many different voices and we must put in consistent effort to silence some and amplify others, but once the work is done, there will be peace.

recently i find myself having arguments in my head with all these different lines of thinking, other peoples thoughts and ideas superimposed upon my own, a palimpsest. “what if by telling this guy im looking for something serious he doesn’t want to talk to me? and then what if another attractive man never likes me again? am i even pretty?” “ no elle it’s fine, you are smart and kind and funny and loving why would no one ever love you? many people love you, your mum and your friends and only you have the power to decide whether you are beautiful or not.” “maybe we should just never talk to men because they always make us anxious” “no thats not a solution, no one should have the power to make you feel any kind of way and even so, we cannot lock ourselves up and never interact with people, we should work through our issues”

we must always think and correct in the mind then we must settle in the body (which is something im still figuring out, i think meditation and stretching is the key tbh)

but anyways this is what im thinking before i go to bed tonight.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Omg to the anon that was talking about feeling less interested in Beomgyu as a bias - Me too. But like not at the same time? Like i don't think I'll ever change my bias in txt, and I think it's going to be set in stone for like the next two years at least LMAO. I'm like totally the complete opposite to the anon though, like I never had a bias in a kpop group..or like if i had one, i never had an emotional tie to them (which arguably would be a GOOD THING. parasocial relationships fucking SUCK) but then beomgyu came along and im totally starstruck (like everyone, the wolfcut got me..)

But also, this year, different to how you guys feel, I think the beginning of 2022 made me love Beomgyu even more! I LOVED his cherry hair and the lost weight made me actually think he was incredibly MORE attractive. And in terms of txt content, I was like wow, beomgyu is like...even more beomgyu now. I know we shouldn't tie a specific trait to a person, but I admittedly do when it comes to Beomgyu. I like when hes funny but also up front about how he does a lot of things to keep txt's videos not too boring - like hes dubbed a variety genius for a reason. And I like when he's loud and opinionated, it just makes me like him even more!

But then the middle of the year - to now, he basically went back to being really quiet again. I think its a pattern, he gets loud during comebacks but then dies down the rest of the year. I feel like thats why my interest keeps dimming - but nevertheless, beomgyu will always be my bias in txt. Like, idk if you relate, but after consuming so much content, i definitely noticed how similar i am in terms of personality to him and I think that's the main reason i'm so tied down to him in txt.

And also, hes a fucking good guy - no one can be sure of that when it comes to idols (especially MEN...) but, he really seems like a genuine person to me. I'm in general a very skeptical person, especially when consuming celebrity shit, but beomgyu man...

Also, another reference to anon, i'm a bit shocked that Yeonjun's the pick for the bias switch? I find that yeonjun stans and beomgyu stans are so different i never see people switching between them, soobin/taehyuns usually the popular 2nd pick 😂

it's so funny how people gravitate to completely opposing things and have contrasting ideas about the same thing lmao differences really make the world go round

for me i actually dislike loud, over the top characters so i actually don't enjoy when gyu is being loud/chaotic but i greatly appreciate how he's bringing the mood of the over all group up. i know it's a conscious effort on his part as he's said before that it's tiring being the moodmaker. it's why he calms down when they're not promoting because apparently he's actually an introvert and quieter than he appears on camera. i like that about him more (though i love his humor and his laugh) but i hope he's feeling well. like i said before i can't help but draw parallels between him and V and how the latter used to be so loud before but got quieter due to stress and/or maturing. i hope gyu is feeling good.

i actually like taehyun's character the most. he's smart and well spoken and witty but also warm and sweet. if i ever change biases it would be to him lol

yeah it's hard to gauge who really is a good person and isn't putting a front for the camera but i feel like generally, bighit boys are genuine. i'd be shocked if any of them turned out to be a bad person.

[slytherweasley]

Replacement (Pansy Parkinson x reader)

warnings: swearing

Summary- Pansy gets jealous when Y/n starts to form a friendship with Daphne. Y/n starts to hang out with her more than Pansy. In their dorm room doing homework and playing wizards chess. Like what Y/n and Pansy do.

At the start of the year Snape put you and Daphne Greengrass together as Potions partners. You both had a history of just disliking each other, there was no reason but you just didn’t like each other. After Christmas break you decided that you would have to be civil to get good grades. After talking and doing assignments together you decided to actually be friends.

“Pans, she is so nice. I don’t even know why I hated her in the first place” you tell your girlfriend cuddled up in her bed. “I’m glad you’re getting along then” she smiles. “She’s coming over so we can finish our potions assignment and finish off some potions homework. You can join if you’d like” “I’m a bit tired so I’ll pass” “Here I’ll do some of your potions homework” “No it’s okay but thank you, princess” “Pans I want to help you out” “Alright, just don’t do it all, okay?” “Okay.” Pansy regretted that moment for weeks.

You and Daphne quickly became best friends, you would study together all the time. You and Pansy used to do that together and she started to despise Daphne, the only thing stopping her from ripping her head off was you. After Daphne would leave you would be in such a happy smiley mood and Pansy loved it. “She’s really funny, she was telling me about this time with her sister” Pansy would smile and laugh when she needed to and the last thing she wanted was to break her heart. She knew that if she told Daphne to stop hanging out with you then you’d never forgive her. So Pansy did what was right for once.

Daphne knocks on the door, you get out of Pansy’s bed and open the door, she greets you with a hug. “I’m so ready for this rematch of wizards chess” Daphne says, together you okay for hours while Pansy reads a book, she couldn’t handle seeing her touch your leg or play with your hair. Pansy is a very jealous person. “I’ll see you tomorrow” Daphne kisses your cheek on the way out and Pansy shuts her book so quickly.

“What was that?” She says angrily “What’s the matter, love?” “She kissed your cheek” you chuckle getting into bed with her. “It’s what straight girl friends do, trust me it’s normal. And Daphne is as straight as a ruler” “Well you’re not straight” “Trust me Pans, I think I know that” “I hate it when she touches your leg or your arm or she plays with your hair or fixes it. That’s my job not hers.”

You give her a kind smile “It’s different with girls and guys, Pans. You’ve got all guy friends, if they want to do all that stuff with you I’m okay with that.” “That is so different” “Thats not at all different!” “I’m a lesbian, that would cause no sexual desire for me.” “I’m not sexually attracted to Daphne” “So you’re just attracted to her?” “No! She is my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend” “You are, sorry darling. She’s my good friend” “I’m sorry too princess, I know she’s your friend but it’s too easy to get jealous.”

The weekend comes around and you have plans with Daphne, she comes over early to do your makeup. Pansy is still sleeping so you both try to keep quiet, your other dorm mates have already left. “She gets grumpy if you wake her up early on the weekend, so be quiet.”

Daphne accidentally trips you and you both start to giggle waking up Pansy. “Y/n?” Pansy calls out “I’m so sorry, bubs. I didn’t mean to wake you up” you stand by her bed and she notices the makeup. “Where are you going?” “Hogsmeade trip with Daph” “Can I come?” “I’m so sorry, we have to go” Daphne says, “I’ll be quick” “We have to go now, I’ll see you later. I love you.” Pansy doesn’t say it back and they walk out.

She gets mad so naturally she goes to rant. She gets changed and goes down to the common room where her group of friends are sitting on the couch. “Good morning Pansy, you look happy” Draco says sarcastically “Shut up I’m sad and angry” “Are you on your period again?” Crabbe says and the boys laugh. “I want to rant, so you’re going to listen and you’re going to shut up until I can say you can talk, got it?” They nod their heads.

She sits beside Blaise on the couch facing Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. “As you know Daphne has stolen my girlfriend from me and I’m about to kill her after this morning.” “What happened?” Draco asks “I’m about to tell you. This morning I wake up to Y/n on the floor laughing with that bitch, Y/n is the sweetest as usual, being all cute. Then I ask if I can come and I say I’ll be quick and Daphne says no and basically influences Y/n to tell me no. Y/n almost never tells me no. Now you can talk.”

“Well maybe they needed to be there by a certain time” Goyle suggests “No, because it was only an hour ago people are still leaving to go to Hogsmeade now. Do you think she will tell Y/n to break up with me?” “No, Y/n would never do that. She is a Slytherin so she knows how to take care of herself” Blaise says. “I know but she’s not one of us, she’s sometimes easily influenced” “Well you’re a very good convincer maybe it’s just you.” “What do I do?” “Talk to her obviously, maybe tell her all of this.”

Pansy waits all day for them to come back after dinner. “Y/n let’s talk” Pansy holds your hand “Here?” “No our dorm” “Just wait outside, Daph” “No, don’t. Actually don’t bother waiting for her again, just leave her alone.” Pansy takes you upstairs and slams the door shut “That was rude” “I don’t care” “What’s your problem?” “Y/n I miss you.” “I’m here now, we can spend the whole night doing whatever you want, I promise.” “No! I miss the old you, before you spent all your time with Daphne. I tried so hard for weeks to be happy for you but I can’t when I get no time with you. It used to be just you and me and now it’s you and Daphne and I am by myself.”

“I’m sorry you feel like that but I want to spend more time with my new friend, we have done so much together I want to do it with my new best friend.” “I should be your girlfriend, more important than your best friend. I always made sure you felt included when I would hang out with Draco and my other friends. You haven’t even asked if I wanted to hang out too” “I would but Daphne doesn’t like you, she thinks you’re rude” “And you still want to be friends with someone who doesn’t like me, your girlfriend?” “I’m sorry, I really like Daphne. She’s a good friend and she’s the only one I can connect with on similar interests.”

Pansy starts to tear up “I try my hardest to listen to you talk about everything you love and I’ll try harder, I want you back Y/n and I want her gone.” You had never made Pansy cry before, Pansy is tough and she rarely cries so it hurt. You didn’t know what to say “Fine, don’t try to find me or apologise because I won’t hear it.” She pushes past you and spends the night in Draco’s dorm.

You put on one of Pansy’s jumpers and try to fall asleep but it’s hard when you’re not in her arms like every night. The next morning you tell Daphne that you need to stop hanging out so much and you walk around looking for Pansy. You find her in the common room with her friends “Pans?” “Go away, I meant what I said yesterday” “I didn’t, I told Daphne we shouldn’t hang out as much” “Bye Y/n.” You go to the library to calm down.

“Pansy, she seems really upset” “Since when do you care what other people feel, Malfoy?” “We both know she doesn’t deserve that. She loves you a lot and after you told her you don’t like her she broke it off.” “I told you what she said to me, am I supposed to pretend she didn’t tell me she was sick of hanging out with me?” “She didn’t say that” “She meant it.”

After talking to Draco she realised how important you were to her. You walk back from the library and through the common room, Pansy isn’t in there so you assume she’s in your dorm. You go to your dorm and Pansy’s in there reading as always. “Y/n!” She gets up and gives you a hug. “Im sorry, I love you” “I love you too Pans and you were right to be mad” “Let’s just agree to keep things normal” “And to be each other’s number one priority” you agree.

You cuddle on Pansy’s bed. “I love you so much Princess, it’s so nice to be able to do this without any secrets.” “I love you more, so much” Pansy kisses your cheek “Also I still don’t like Daphne” “I know.” You kiss her cheek “Dont ever change, okay? I love your stubborn, beautiful, smart self” “If you love me I’ll never change, promise.”

[azogwhoreignerstilinski]

Watching S1 of Teen Wolf

Episode 6

DAAAAMN THAT CHASE SCENE IN THE PARKING LOT-

Scott here being a SMART protagonist and gtfo-ing as soon as he could. Him getting caught cuz of Allison tho- i laUGHED. Derek is also such a stereotypical older brother lol.

Also Derek's bunny teeth.

OOP HE SMASH DA PHONE!!

Lmao Scott is a fucking LIAR- HE CANT STOP THINKING WITH HIS DICK FOR A SECONDD

Yes, i skipped the sex scene. Music is good tho. Except for the loudest motherfucking kissing. Im dying. Make it endddd

Oh hey, scott is actually being made to participate with the wolfy stuff finally.

Also more Kate (sarcastic yay) srsly tho- her two facedness is *mwah chefs kiss

When Scott jumps out the window all i can think of is "how are these kids not being caught all the time?" Like hes just so LOUD.

And he also immediately proves me wrong because at the start he was smart and ran the second something sus happened, but then he just assumes this mysterious werewolf is Derek KNOWING THERES A MURDEROUS ALPHA ON THE LOOSE.

I was so happy to see Peter that i didnt mind that much tho.

This scene when scott gets home is hilarious because if you have your brightness all the way up, you can SEE Derek just sittin there. Also props to Derek for knowing about Scott sneaking out but not even caring about Allison lol. How long was he just sitting in this kids room tho??

Also Derek Hale is a shit liar and thats hilarious to me cuz hes out here sussing people out when they lie but when he does it its super obvious.

Scott: You cant ask me to trust you and then keep things to yourself

Derek: Watch me (leaves through the front door like a nooooob)

Awwww pouty stiles!

Stiles is just not able to resist info about Derek tho lol (careful dude, your bi is showing) honestly same

Also this entire ep is just Pack Mom Stiles energy

Lydia's face when she sees the wolf tho lmaooo. This girl is TRAUMATISED

Scott hides from Allison while Stiles has to sort out all his werewolf drama for him and i just-

All this scallison is just getting in the way of me enjoying the show and i feel so bad but omfg. Theres just so much

Jacksons face when he sees scott being pelted thoooo- what a relatable bitch. I was laughing too.

If only Stiles could put "raised a werewolf child" on his resume. Stiles and Derek are coparents, you cant change my mind.

Stiles calling out sexism about the whole "women make you weak thing" is just yeasss.🔥🔥🔥

And Jacksons whole mirror scene? Peak creeps, 10/10. Reminded me of Draco Malfoy. Him and Allison's heart to heart was kinda touching. But then you know, he pulled the creep out so-

Stiles' eyeroll to Scalliso in Coach Cupcake's class looool. K the hand holding was kinda cute ngl, good job scallison. Stiles is just done tho lol. He's so over it too and hes Scotts best friend😂😂

The car key scene has me cringing and giggling at the same time omfg.

Oh before i forget

OMG PETERRR Ohhh the IRONY IN THIS SCENE- and also poor bby Derek, all alone in this world. Peter lifting his finger as Derek leaves, RIGHT AFTER he says he cant wait lol. Peter is such a bastard tho lol cuz he coulda lifted his finger if he wanted, but he didnt pfft- guess he only has energy for killing people right now. Think its meant to add to the MysTerY. I think this is the cuddliest Peter has ever looked and i am here for it.

Derek: I can take him. But i need to find him first

Peter:... You can't kill me im a bad bitch

That detention scene, did they like fake the heart to heart to make the teacher uncomfy? Or was it meant to be genuine? Im going with the first one, because i think its better lol. But i think even if they faked it to get outta detention they both meant some of it.

DEREK NO HES A DOCTOR WTF ARE YOU DOING-

Also Derek says if hes unconcious he cant stop himself from healing? But he was just unconcious??? And Dr. Deaton didnt heal??? Also everytime Scott and Derek fight they're actually just like estranged brothers. Sam and Dean if they only met in Season 3 lol.

STILES' FACE EVERYTIME DEREK IS ON SCREEN-

Scott howling is so funny like howl no1 is yowling and howl no2 is roaring. Bitch really cant howl for shit- what is he??? Werewolf of werelion?? First he sounds like a kitten then he sounds like a lion.

(Me watching Stiles hype Scott up) Fellas, is it gay to know how to attract Alpha males?

Oh no Derek is 'dead'.

BUT PETER IS HERE!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading through the rambling, all of this is of course personal opinion and takes, but i might make this a whole thing.

[fukurodaze]

can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)

this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest

so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century

the meeting <3

so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor

though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting

different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5

one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor

and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor

it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://

so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich

guess who else comes? 

YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!

despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone

he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs

he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay

he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah

ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there

he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?

yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...

and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business

but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7

could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?

kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”

my my... you love hearing that dont’cha

but u were like “thanks” 😐

he’s like sheesh

and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”

kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???

spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3

look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school

god, you felt so comfortable

and he was SO hot.... WTF

but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS

this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby

yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association

this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere

hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...

safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰

and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.

the relationship <3

first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food 

second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR

you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.

people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??

he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov

eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings

when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen

the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭

but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)

eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...

and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary

the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore

but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.

you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour

the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u

kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏

you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo

they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague

you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries

but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments

you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too

your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first

but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3

you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call

and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have

even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour

you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed

you’ve moved in lol

kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls

the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT

and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work

when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space

when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him

kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭

so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”

you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”

he’s like “cool. cool.”

proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work... 

but u love him anyway 🥰

and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...

he sees you with him for a long, long time

and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[sleepyweepypeaches]

Cookies and crime pt.2

----------------------------------- Keigo Takami x reader - Fluff -

Y/n uses They/them pronouns.

Warnings:Cursing, mention of a gory true crime story

-----------------------------------

Takami walks into the kitchen, over to Y/n who has just finished warming the food back up. "So, Cookies and crime?" Takami asks grabbing his la carte box of chicken. "Cookies and crime." Y/n confirms. On nights like this when there's nothing to do Y/n and Takami get together bake cookies and watch true crime cases. Y/n and Takami walk over to the couch with their food, "Hay, also. Did you say you turned Mount Lady away at the door, AGAIN !?" Takami asked realizing all of what Y/n said earlier. Y/n sighs, sitting on the couch "Ya, My boss might be a bitch but her boss us actually pretty cool. They said they don't want to promote heros that don't do they're actual job. So this is the third time I've had to personally turn Mount Lady away at the door. She's exhausting.". Takami throws his head back laughing "Thats so funny!" Y/n laughs along with him "I guess, she's kind of annoying after a while. I feel like I'm reasoning with a child. She's like 'do you even know who I am!?'. Ya bitch, Walmart Regina Gorge. Now stop harassing my boss before a call security! Ugh!" Y/n and Takami burst out laughing. This was the bast. Being able to vent and really laugh with each other. It's so special, when they could be themselves. Happy together.

Y/n and Takami finish eating. On they're wayback to the kitchen Y/n pops an edible. "Okay cookies!" Takami laughs. "You have been very exited about these cookies." Y/n says taking the dough out of the fridge. "Well ya, they're cookies, you're not exited about cookies!?". Takami asks, getting a pan from a cabinet and putting it on the counter. "Of corses im exited about cookies!" Y/n laughed, setting the oven. "But i'm more exited to tell you about this true crime case I saw the other day! It was fucking crazy!" Takami cuts the dough packaging open. "I don't know. Ive seen some pretty crazy shit myself." Takami smiles at them. They both go to wash they're hands in the sink." Ok, so theres this woman her name was Katie or Kathy knight or something. And she was fucking crazy! She did all kinds of terrible stuff. But what she got caught for was the worst!" Takami and Y/n finshed washing theyer hands and started putting the dough on the pan. "Well now i'm getting exited." Takami said. "So her husband at the time got a restraining order on her and told the guys he worked with if he didn't show up the next day to call the police.". "Smart" Takami chimed in. "That night she seduced him with sex to get him in a venerable position. When he was asleep she stabbed him. He woke up and tried to get away. But she chased him down the hall and continued to stab him till he was dead!". "Damn she couldn't get a divorce!?" Takami laughed. "Apparently not," Y/n said. Takami picked up a piece of cookie dough and plopped it into his mouth. "So after she killed him, she skinned him and cooked some of him into meals for they're children!" Y/n said. Takami stoped chewing his cookie dough and looked up at Y/n. "You could have told me that before I put the cookie dough in my mouth?" Takami asked jokingly. "You couldn't have waited till I finished telling you the true crime story?"

Y/n smiled at him. After Takami finished eating his cookie dough he stuck is tong out at Y/n. Y/n stuck they're tong back out at him and giggled. "Thats pretty fucked up." Takami said. "Isn't it?! I'd just get a divorce. And thats probable not going to happen ether! I'm a ride or die kinda person." Y/n says. "If you were in a relationship and the only way out was murder. I'd kill them for you on the spot!" Takami said. "Aww, you'd do that for me!?" Y/n made puppy dog eyes at Takami. Takami made puppy dog eyes back at them "Would you hide a dead body for me?". Y/n laughs "Abso-fucking-lutely! You're my best friend, I'd commit arson for you!". "Aww, same" Takami said putting a hand over his heart. Then eats another piece of cookie dough. "Ya! you're going to eat it all before we can even get the pan in the oven!" Y/n points out. "But raw cookie dough tastes really good! Here." Takami says feeding Y/n some cookie dough. "Mmm, it is. But they're better baked!" Y/n said finishing the piece of dough. The oven beeps and Takami puts the cookie into the oven. Y/n sets the timer.

After word Y/n sits themself on they're island counter. Takami positions him self in front of them. Putting his arms on each side of them. "You know. Now that I think of it. I don't think I'd ever worry about divorces or anything like that. If I were to merry someone it would probably be my best friend. Because I know they'ed be good to me and we'd take care of each other." Y/n says thoughtfully. Looking down at Takami who had dumbfounded look on his face. Takami face went pink when they made eye contact. "I umm. I never thought about marriage really." Takami says looking away. "No? I always thought you'd be a great dad." Y/n says. Takami looks back up at them. "A dad?" He asks quietly. "Ya! You're funny and caring. And you're stern when you half to be. And you're super understanding and patient!" Y/n goes on about Takami. Y/n playfully raps they're arm around his neck. "All the sexy milfs, dilfs, and nilfs would all go. 'Oh Mr. Takami, your so attractive and good with kids! Would you like to get a drink sometime?'." Y/n pouts and bats they're eyes. Takami laughs sheepishly and rest his hands on Y/n's arms. " And i'd say, 'Sorry but i'm already married to a wonderful person! And, its cookies and crime night. And it would brake they're heart if I wasn't home for it!"

Y/n's eyes light "Cookies and crime night!?" they laugh. "Ya, Its our little tradition. I thought we might keep it." Takami shrugs, smiling giddily. Y/n's face grows warm "Oh" They smile. "Is that okay?" Takami asked tilting his head. "Y-Ya! I actually like that a lot." Y/n smiles, pulling Takami slightly closer to them. Y/n laughs "Was that your husband audition?". Takami moves his hands from Y/n's arms and places them beck by they're sides. "Ya. How'd I do?" He asked. "Pretty good." Y/n says. Y/n brushes they're nose up agents Takami's but he hesitates and pulls away. "Takami-" "Keigo." Takami cuts Y/n off. "What?" Y/n asks backing up a little. "I know we joke around a lot but. If we're going to do this. I mean really do this. You might as well call me bay my first name. It's Keigo." Keigo says. "Okay." Y/n smiles at him. Pulling him back in. "Keigo, will you just kiss me already." Keigo laughs "I wasn't expecting the sass!" Y/n sighs "Well it's taken you all night." Keigo tilts his head confused "Why didn't you just kiss me first, if you were waiting for so long?" Y/n lets out a small laugh. "Because you looked like you wanted to do it so bad. You even asked me to get in the tub with you. Plus I was kinda nervous." Keigo panics "Shit I thought I deleted that!?" Y/n shakes they're head. "Nope. I've been waiting for you to do something all night. Then you texted me that but never acted on it. So I figured you sent it by mistake." Keigo smiles sadly. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Y/n runs they're fingers through his hair as he explains himself. "I didn't want to ruin what we already have. You're so important to me, and I don't want to lose you. I've never had someone like you in my life. To take care of me. Hold me so sweetly. I don't know how I couldn't fall in love with you. And I really do love you so much." Keigo raps his arms around Y/n waist. Pulling they're body's together fully. Y/n smiles and presses they're forehead to his. "I love you too." Y/n giggles in disbelief. Keigo caresses Y/n's jaw before leaning close. Placing a soft kiss on they're lips. They're lips feel so soft agents his. Light pecks turn into a drawn out kiss. A long awaited kiss. After the kiss ends. They looking into each others eyes smiling brightly. "You have no Idea how happy I am right now!" Keigo laughs, pecking Y/n on the lips again. "I love you, I love you, I love you, so, so much!" Keigo says nuzzling he's head into Y/n's shoulder. Y/n laughs "And I love you, I love you, I love you, so, so much more!". Keigo laughs "Is that a challenge?". "Yes!" Y/n laughs.

Y/n rests they're head atop Keigo's head and takes a deep breath. "Keigo?" Y/n asks. "Yes?" Keigo replies looking up at them. "I think our cookie's are burning." Keigo is knocked out of his haze. Smelling the air, woof. "Aa shit" Keigo spins around and grabs a kitchen mit and swiftly scoop the cookies out of the oven. "Well its a good thing you brought ice cream!" Y/n laughs, jumping off the counter. "Im sorry." Keigo sighs. Y/n walks over to Keigo and raps they're arms around his waist. " It's okay, they're just burnt cookies. I don't think anything could ruin my night right now!"

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[jmkitsune]

1-50 of the "be nosy asks" 😂

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Im a demisexual

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

well I jsut finished stargate atlantis so let's go with that cause I did SG1/SGA in like a few months

TEMPTED to do universe buut we'll see

3. Ever done any drugs?

nope- not a huge fan (by that i mean I actually can't stand drugs)

4. What piercings do you want?

I'd like to redo my ears at some point

5. How many people have you kissed?

uhhh we'll say (in sexual/romantic way)

10 people

6. Describe your dream home.

clock tower penthouse overlooking the bay near the ocean or something

7. Who are you jealous of?

those who are successful

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

simpsons futurama or daria

9. Do you watch porn?

nope

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

nah I have this blog, a star wars one I kinda forgot about/let die, and one for my first book trilogy I may wipe at some point cause I /have never gotten what I wanted to do with it/

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

beach

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

to never work again and enjoy comfort

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

nah

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

pay off debt

get my own place

not worry about bills for a while

15. Are you in a relationship?

I am not that being said if someone wants me- they gotta earn me cause I'm expensive AS FUCK

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

nah like I follow sex workers but that is cause either friends/acquaintances and I support their hard work but thats bout it

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

nah

18. What tattoos do you want?

omg too many lol I always want new tattoos

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I probably would just legally change my name to JM instead of using it as a preferred name

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Star Wars, Star Gate, streaming, writing, gaming, uhhh *shrugs*

21. Describe your best friend.

stubborn, funny, pain in the ass, smart, irritating, dependable, makes me wanna throw things at them, protective, short etc

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Insert every person I know who is attractive cause hi everyone is attractive in someway shape or form

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Skillet, Linkin Park, Protomen, MCR, Fall out Boy

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Pacific North West

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

relaxing

26. What’s your favorite season?

actual spring where its not too hot/too cold and enjoyable

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people who willfully want to be ignorant because they think its better than being educated since they think ALL educated people are elitist

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

myself

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

and here is where I catch SO MUCH FLACK

scott pilgrim

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

uhh I actually message a lot of people so like I dont think I need to do that here

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

digital baby

we're in 2021 - save the trees and give me more books to carry in a smaller lighter device :D

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

the ones I've written

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Jedi meets Grisha, meets Cloud Strife, Loki and Scarlet Witch

34. What’s your coffee order?

I have not had coffee since high school

and my order then was a medium decaf extra extra from dunks

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Im demi, crushes= confused friendship lines lol

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

of course, im human thats kinda the side effect of loving someone for a long time, there is always a shred of you that lingers for them

37. Have any tattoos?

I have SIX tattoos yes :D

two constellations (Orion/Pisces) on my wrists, my son of hades/twitch tattoo on my right forearm, my KH tattoos on my upper biceps, and my USB/IO Keyhole tattoo on the back of my neck

38. Do you drink?

not anymore, im a depressed drunk and I am very VERY uncomfortable around people who drink/are drunk

39. Are you a virgin?

NOPE

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

go sub to my patreon for a year and I'll tell ya ;D

41. How many followers do you have?

go follow all my places get me boosted so you guys follow me everywhere and you can actually see all the shit I put out online content wise besides what I reblog on here

tumblr - 1660

twitch- 416

twitter 337

instagram- 175

tiktok-1877

youtube- 116

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Have you seen 1990s Brendan Fraser

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

im a shopaholic when depressed

44. Do you read erotica?

I have, and I'll be honest, there is a part of me that thinks it has quality of writing people should not overlook BUT its not for me I think

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

fun fact- I've only been on

46. How many people do you follow?

here- 275, tiktok 545, instagram- 392, twitter 442

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

none, I don't have celebrity crushes and shit (and before you say fraser- I can appreciate someone's attractiveness without having a crush, I'm demi, not blind)

48. Describe your ideal partner.

from two friends who know me best

- witty, witchy, nerdy, someone who I can idealize their flaws into quirks -pretty eyed, dark haired nerdy girl with curves (esp. bangin tiddies) ((I can't believe adrienne SERIOUSLY SAID THAT PART)) who is empathetic and intelligent and willing to work with you and communicate with you to build something solid and long lasting

49. Who do you text the most?

I text Icarus, Britt, and Adrienne the most

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”