#im probably going to start queueing images now :]

[madscientiststoybox]

typical chip enjoyer

[pankomako]

there's probably like a million others out there already, but since im seeing a lot of my friends hop on tumblr due to the twitter situation i figured i'd give this a go. so, welcome to

panko's guide to tumblr!

i've been using this site for almost a year now, so i suppose i'm at least somewhat qualified to do this. i mainly just want to do this for fun honestly. i think lots of people have covered more of the setup and what to expect from tumblr as a whole so i think i'll focus on more of the usage of this site, because it's definitely much different from twitter, and, in my opinion, FAR better, plus that's the thing people seem to be the most confused about. so, here we go!

Post Features

the first thing you may notice is that tumblr has no character limit on posts! if you want to post a 10,000 word essay on the motives of your favorite character from the video game or tv show you're super into right now, nobody's stopping you. already so much more convenient than making threads on twitter.

there's a variety of options you can use to make your text more visually interesting, add emphasis, and/or organize your post! when you highlight text (at least on browser, i dont use the app), these options will appear above what you highlighted. you can make your text bold, italicized, bigger (on a new line), smaller, crossed out, or even colored! under the drop-down list there are other options too such as cursive text and lists. you can also add hyperlinks to text if you want. (this is all in the rich text editor, you can also switch to HTML or Markdown by going to your post settings.)

you can also add plenty of other media to posts! you can add up to 30 images which you can arrange however you please, although from my experience arranging images is kinda clunky, but still way better than twitter lol. you can also add gifs, videos (one per post), audio files (10 per post), and embed links. you can also add a cutoff line where everything under that line is hidden under a "read more" button, which is very useful for longer posts.

when you make a post, there is a space to add a title, but it's not required. most people don't add titles unless it helps with formatting.

you can also schedule a post to be posted at a certain time, queue posts to be posted on a consistent schedule, change who can reblog a post, and even save posts as drafts if you want/need to come back to them later.

Tags

Under every post you make/reblog, there is an option to add tags. these are in their own section under the post itself. you can add as many as you want afaik, but they can only be so many characters long. on tumblr, tags have multiple uses.

you can add tags that correspond to your post such as the topic or fandom (and characters/people involved), or whether it's art or photography, for example, to try to help get your post out there. it's preferred and just better in general to only add tags that are relevant to your post. don't tag character fanart as sports or food or pop music, but ESPECIALLY not an unrelated fandom.

you can also use tags to organize your blog and make it easier to find specific posts. you can tag your own art as "my art" and art you reblog from friends as "friends' art", and even create your own tags for specific topics you frequently post about, such as your oc world or a fandom fic or au you have. i personally don't use tags for organization much, but i do have my own tags for the two oc worlds i have. (you can do this even if you're not a fandom-goer or artist, these just serve as an example bc im both lol)

you can even use tags to add extra comments to a post. lord knows i do this a lot myself. lots of people will use tags to sort of ramble off-handedly under a post when it's not the main content of said post. this is especially common under reblogs - more on that later. since you can add spaces within tags, writing full sentences in the tags is easy and a very common practice. just be careful when using commas; adding a comma starts a new tag.

Notes

similarly to how twitter has likes, retweets and comments, tumblr has likes, reblogs and replies. however, these are all combined into one sum of notes. all notes on a post are compiled under the source post. by clicking on the number of notes under a post, you can see a list of all replies, likes and reblogs on a post, if you're curious like me.

on tumblr, likes act as more of a bookmarking tool. you can look at a list of all the posts you liked, and you can have this list displayed on your blog if you want, but likes do NOT increase the visibility of a post. if you want to help a post gain traction, you need to reblog it. if you don't want that post on your blog, but you want to let the person know that you've seen and enjoyed their post, you can leave a like as a small but kind gesture if you want. if you were playing minecraft, liking a post would be akin to punching a mob, but reblogging would be like using a sword. it may not necessarily be a powerful diamond sword, but it does more than a one-damage punch. i should also mention - you can only like a post once; if you like a reblog of a post, you like the source post and can't like separate reblogs of the post.

reblogs are the core of tumblr's functionality. this site does not have an algorithm, so reblogs are the only way for posts to circulate. it's probably pretty easy to figure out, but reblogs put another person's post on your own blog and on your followers' feeds. this is likely the biggest difference between tumblr and twitter: you can reblog a post as many times as you want, and you can add on to a post directly by reblogging, which is much different from a quote-tweet on twitter. also different from quote-tweets, all notes on reblogs are notes contributed to the source post. in a reblog, you can add a comment either in normal text or in the tags, and you can add images and gifs as well. it's common courtesy to put comments that don't contribute to the post in the tags, such as saying you think a post is funny. lots of famous tumblr posts are chains of reblogs - unlike on twitter where you can only retweet one tweet/reply at a time, you can reblog these reblog chains. you can also add the tags of the person you reblogged from to your own reblog if you want, though usually people just say "prev" if they liked the previous reblogger's tags.

replies are a convenient way to have a conversation under a post without repeatedly reblogging. although convenient, replies are limited in what you can do with them. they're text-only and have a character cap. but they're still a good way to add a quick comment to a post if you don't want it on your blog. you can also reply directly to a person in the notes of a post by mentioning them in your reply. replies can be deleted from a post or be turned off for a post entirely by the original poster.

I think that's about all you need to know to get started posting and reblogging, but please feel free to add on if i did happen to forget anything. thanks for reading and happy tumbling! :D

[elytrafemme]

you've talked about switching a lot recently but i've only just now been able to sit down and give my own little account 👍 yippie 🎉

however tbh if you're like "i'm donee talking about this tehehe" throw this ask out the window. shatter the glass for fun either way

anyways!! switching is so freaking funky, especially recently for us because it's been a lot of blurry and stressful switches.. probably due to midterms season? not too sure but also it's october so the mind is becoming full bonkers mode ya know

anyways, for us switches can either be super obvious or just go completely under the radar. there's no i between, and the easier the switch is, the less likely we are to like register that one happened.

well, specifically me because i have a tendency to stay around in co con a lot. when someone switches into co con with me it's usually pretty smooth, and fast, being brought about by very like random things. a song or an image or maybe how someone worded something! ya know

anyways, longer and more difficult switches which can get really rough. i think it's just, we have a really hard time with someone going from not in or near front just coming in full swing. that and also just needing to get someone out and they don't want to be.

but longer switches usually cause us to get really tired and dizzy (and usually an assortment of varying kinds of dissociative) and there's a weird like mental sensation almost like being dragged under into a swamp or being buried in pillows? it's like brain fog turned up an extreme amount

but there's on occasional full switch without all of that, but those are few and far i between. usually these are like zoning out but like for 10 minutes. like a shut down and reboot bust someone else hit the power on button ig.

actually tbh we see a lot of your system things in a very like computer sorta since?? we have a memory/trauma holder who like will create like "firewalls" to block information and sometimes even like shut down a chess to leave/get into front. it's kinda funny now that i'm thinking about it, the whole computer theming

anyways it's also important to note that we have an awful time of realizing who's in front until there's something very distinctly that alter that gets thought/done. that could be due to the heavy mental ick for a past bit, but it also might be a general thing. in fairness we haven't been tracking too long so it's hard to say.

however all around it's like... we struggle finding the queues as to who's in front, especially cuz i am usually there co con and conducting what like i think is best sorta thing. but hm yea i'm loosing the point i'm trying to say to sleepy soupy brain. anyways

i hope you are doing well! and if not that you are able to find contentment soon! i hope today will be a good day, because you deserve it!

HEY ITS BEEN A BIT SINCE U SENT THIS SRRY im having another lunarbloom nightmare switch moments so this is relevant once more and in fact probably will always be relevant bc this is lik daily fdshk

okay i had never thought about it like that as like. the easier the switch the less likely its noticeable. because im thinking now like there have been a lot of times where i abruptly start acting different but dont remember switching but maybe i did? but its just seamless. hm

handshake u and me being hosts that frequent co conning

OH INTERESTING !! despite being a pretty brain foggy individual i dont notice a tonnn of brain fog when i swtich so that is really interesting to note :o plus the synonyms u use those r so interesting

haunted by the metaphors and symbolism <- assigned computer at system

sorry if this is like all over the place as a response but overall this is so so interesting ty for sharing :O always interesting to see how ppl switch since it varies sm!

[minheeskitten]

i didn’t realize you were using a queue !! but i also only just arrived dhjdbekfh. i do agree with 🩷 that a queue tag may be handy :0 though mayhaps a thing you add to future additions to the queue rather than going back to add it……?

also 🩷’s last ask made me exponentially worse but it made gears start turning for planning new art so…! maybe being horny abt vampires was just what i needed so sending my thanks in advance :D —☕️

Yep ive been using a queue haha! I probably will try to go back and add it to some every now and then but as a general.rule if it isn't an ask its probably queued. Ill figure out what tag i want to use for that soon! But it may not start showing up for a few weeks or so.

Haha when you do come up with an art piece i would ADORE seeing it! Im not certain if you can put images in anon asks though.. So we can find out!

[byima]

25 Days of Christmas 6/25

snowy cabin days

song

.

December 6th, 2013

So far therapy has been a drag.

And by a drag, he means a dragging of a warm steak knife over his body, flaying away his protective layer of skin and leaving his insides exposed. He’s still waiting on the bandages.

Open wounds aside, Percy is pretty fond of his therapist. Ekene is a cool guy; he’s a legacy, from the Bronx, and he’s funny in a way that’s so easy it feels like theater. But it’s been close to two months of weekly meetings and all they’ve done is talk about his childhood and his mom and his traumatic experiences and his image of himself and his shit coping mechanisms and he’s wondering when they get to the part where they start to fix things. Or when he’s gonna start feeling like he can fix things.

So he’s fresh off of a therapy session, feeling nice and flayed, when his mom tells him to pack for the weekend because they're going to Lake Duchess. He says “okay” because what else is he supposed to say? He could barely think as it were, what with his insides that close to the surface. So he stuffs a backpack with a couple days worth of winter clothes and a toothbrush and goes to bed confident that he’s forgotten to pack something.

Morning comes with a disorienting sense of deja vu. That should have been his first warning.

“Percy? Good morning, honey.”

He grunts and rolls over to find his mom standing at the door to his bedroom, hitting the light switch on and off. He’s had a million mornings that started like this: his mom hustling him to school, or cajoling him out of bed after a long Saturday sleep in, or rousing him with a sweet promise, ‘cabin in Montauk, just you and me.’

She leans against the doorway looking clean and a billion times more awake than he feels. “We’ve got some road to cover between here and the cabin.”

He remembers how tired she was when he was younger, like, no matter how hard she tried, there was always something sucking at her life force. Now, she’s got on a nice zip up jacket and hiking boots and a smile brighter than the lights she flicks off then on one more time just to mess with him.

He groans, rubbing the memories from his lids with the heels of his hands. With a yawn, he sits up and his mom relaxes on the lights, resting her hand on the door knob.

“Mornin,” he mumbles.

“Do you mind looking out for Estelle while I get a little something going for breakfast?” She gets distracted by a bag of take out that hadn’t quite made it into his trash bin by the door. She reaches for it while she waits for an answer and Percy wonders what he’s doing for her life force.

He yawns again and swings out of bed. “Yeah, no problem.”

—

It’s a two hour drive. Paul has the radio on and it makes Percy think about driving with Annabeth because they never use the radio. She’s got a playlist for any situation and even though he’ll complain about never getting to listen to his music, he never means it because her taste is so spot on it’s scary. And he’ll let her tangle their fingers over the center console and she’ll let him queue a song here and there. Thinking about his girlfriend makes him think about the last time they FaceTimed, and her sad, red eyes and the tears on her cheeks and the quiet, desperate way she said his name.

He looks out the window; the sky is still a dark blue and the mountains loom near. He should text Annabeth now, just so she knows what's going on this weekend. There’s a chance Sally has already told her, but it’s the kind of gesture she would appreciate.

He types a message and hits send without giving himself a chance to overthink things.

P: On our way to lake duchess. Probably won't have signal when I'm up there. Just IM me if you need to talk.

She responds almost immediately.

A: When did you guys leave the city?

P: Like 5:30

A: Oof.

P: Yeah, you have no idea. Paul’s on the radio.

A: Oof again. What are you listening to?

P: Some Christmas music station.

A: I mean what are YOU listening to?

He sends her a screenshot of the song playing on his phone.

A: I’m laughing. That’s so bad.

A couple minutes later she sends a screenshot of her own. It's the same song, only he can see she’s got it on repeat. He’d probably do the same thing, but he refuses to pay for Spotify Premium.

P: Now it’s a party.

A: A sad song party.

P: What are you doing right now?

A: Not much.

P: Can I call you? I wanna hear your voice for a second.

It takes her a bit to respond.

A: I’m sorry. I can’t rn.

She finally adds. I’m at a friend's house tbh, getting ready for finals.

His heart sinks. He hates that school is a taboo subject between them. He feels anxious when she brings it up, so she dances and avoids instead of mentioning it. He thinks his heart has been sinking for a while now and he doesn’t know when it will stop.

P: I don’t wanna distract you. IM me when you can.

She started texting something. Then she deletes it.

A second later he gets a message.

Love you forever.

It’s not something they’ve ever said or texted a lot. Probably because they didn’t need to. Now, though, with the distance between them, they do it all the time. When he reads the words in his head in her voice, they sound hollow.

He replies back. So sappy. ily too.

—

There’s no WiFi or cell service in the cabin, which is kind of heaven and a bit of hell. Heaven is the part where he doesn’t have to worry about calling or texting or being called or texted, but hell is the ‘alone with nothing but your thoughts’ part.

Though, to say he’s alone would be a stretch. The cabin is tiny: one bedroom, a bathroom, and a tight kitchen and living room space.

He’s sitting on one of the full sized beds, trying to figure out if he’s packed any socks other than the ones he’s wearing, when his mom passed by gripping Estelle with one hand and a half eaten banana in the other.

“I don’t wanna wear it!” Estelle shouts with a pout. She’s in a mood already. Sally ignores her and sits her firmly on the mattress. She wrestles a snow boot on her daughter's foot before looking over to her son.

“If you’re up to it,” she forced one shoe onto the grumpy toddler, “Paul wants to head out for that hike.”

Percy nods distractedly. “Yeah. That’s fine.” He points his chin at Estelle. “You gonna to cry the whole time?”

Estelle was staring dejectedly at her now booted feet. “Nooo.” She drags the word out, petulant and forlorn.

Sally helps her down the bed. “Estelle is going to do fine.” As soon as her feet touch the ground, Estelle sets off, steps loud on the hardwood floor, to find her dad.

Percy puts aside his sock hunt and he and his mom stand up together. When she wraps her arm around his waist, he does the same to her.

She squeezes around him as they follow Estelle’s path out of the bedroom. “It should be fun. When we googled the trail, there were these gorgeous pictures of a lake view…”

—

Fifteen minutes into the hike Percy had already moved ahead of the others.

The trail is pretty isolated at the moment, they’ve spotted just one guy walking in the opposite direction, but otherwise it’s just them and the fresh snow and the massive conifers draped in white coats. The morning sun shines bright and has burned up any fog or overcast. Estelle is in a constant state of amazement, squatting to play with the snow every 10 meters or so. It isn’t a challenge for Percy to outstrip childlike wonder and her indulgent parents.

The air is fresh and bitingly cold. It makes his nose run and his ears burn until he adjusts his beanie to properly cover them. He picks up a stick to wack tree trunks as he passes and wonders why he didn’t just stay in the cabin. He mourns what could have been. Furnace heating. Easy solitude. He could probably hustle and finish the trail and beat them back indoors. Maybe get the cabin to himself for half an hour.

He wipes his nose and wacks a passing tree as he picks up his pace.

“Hey Lone Ranger!” He slows and looks over his shoulder to see his mom jogging to catch up with him. “You’re leaving us mortals in the dust.” She’s slightly out of breath when she reaches him.

He doesn’t respond. His mom’s booted feet crunch through the fresh snow alongside his.

“I’d like to request your company for a moment,” she speaks into the silence. “I know I let you do your own thing most of the time,” she places her hands on her hips with a deep breath, “but I have to admit I was hoping for a little something different here.”

He shrugs and squints up looking skyward.

“It’s just a request though,” she adds. She looks up at his profile; it doesn’t give much away.

“You don’t have to be so careful with me.” He says it in a low, offhand way.

Sally gets a stubborn set to her face and he’s not quite prepared for but also not surprised by the impatience in her tone when she responds.

“I think I do. You’ve been low lately, low like I’ve never seen you before and I’m sorry but it’s worrying me.” She starts to tear up and he can’t even look at her and he wonders what he’s doing to her life force.

“Ma…” he starts quietly. He doesn’t finish. He doesn’t have any other words to give her.

“I remembered how we would go to Montauk,” she presses her mittened hands to her tear blurry eyes. “And no matter how shitty things were, they felt better there, and I know that was a special place for both of us, but just the act of getting away, I thought– I just wanted this to feel different. For one damn day.” She lets out a quiet sob when Percy turns abruptly off the path and then a quiet “oh” escapes her because she joins him on a clearing and they’ve reached the view.

Percy looks down at the lake and something opens up in his chest.

The lake reflects everything back. It's surreal, he’s surrounded by mountains and trees and rocks and snow, and he looks down at the lake, the same lake he can feel like a tug at his gut, and he sees more rocks and trees and mountains and snow. He feels the burn of his mom’s tears, of Annabeth’s tears and he thinks about jumping down, breaking the smooth surface, just to see what's on the other side. Because he knows something is there, he can feel it like it's a part of him. But he wants to feel it for real, on his skin in his hands rushing into his nose and mouth. He wants to feel the other side.

And with his chest wide open and raw and his skin flayed, in a choked voice he admits, “I thought I would feel different by Christmas.” He coughs and tries again. “I thought by this time I would have– I–” He feels tight, in his chest, behind his eyes. His mom’s hand touches his arm and he finally looks at her. “I’m sorry.” He can’t breathe. “I’m sorry, Ma, I’m sorry.”

She’s reaching for him, trying to hold every part of him. “Oh Percy. Oh my dear my dear my dear.”

He makes a somewhat strangled noise and his body caves and he sinks into the snow. Sally clumsily follows him down, arms fixed around him with wholehearted desperation.

And then. He cries.

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats?  Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time"  but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited  to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

[subjectsix]

tagged by @therealtsk !!! <3

1: Why did you choose your Url?

i love Dylan Faden (prime candidate six) and Lucas Grey (subject six) very much (dylan as a brother/relatable character and lucas as maybe in love with him)

2: Any side blogs?

they are all neglected! oops. an old abandoned terminator one and an old defunct botan city aesthetic blog (i just use tags here now).

3: How long have you been on Tumblr?

pffff idk. like. maybe 2014???? but around 2016 i vanished and i came back around... 2019? I’ve never remade so my blog is like. wow!! u can track kip’s phases here!!

4: Do you have a queue tag?

yes! #queue with me if you wanna live (like terminator’s ‘come with me if you wanna live’)

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i saw all the Funny Posts on pinterest back when it wasnt just an aesthetic machine and wanted to participate akjsakjshdfkjh

6: Why did you choose your icon?

its a commission of one of my star wars OCs, lurina! i love her dearly, she’s a zabrak with two prosthetic legs and i did not consider that maul also has two prosthetic legs until after I made her lol

7: Why did you choose your header?

i lov hitman and the 2016 promotional images are pretty

8: What’s your post with the most notes? 

its probably my into the spiderverse post about ihop versus ihob?

9: How many mutuals do you have?

bro idk!!! probs a lot, I’ve been here a long time and a lot of blogs have come and gone

10: How many followers do you have?

see above skjhfkjsdhf ive been here since 2014 so many dead blogs and bots follow me I think

11: How many people are you following?

see above as well

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

remember when we called it nightposting? i remember when we called it nightposting. I have made funny haha posts and sometimes i throw whatever silly putty comes out of my brain into a post but idk if those count akjsdhfkjsdhf

13: How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I check intermittently! My friends are here and you post cool things

14: Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope! Confrontation terrifies me to my very core and I do not like to fight with people, I tend to just let stuff roll off my back or go “this isn’t my business” and move on

15: How do you feel about “You need to reblog this” posts?

Eh? I like to keep my blog very light since its one of my few places to get respite from the barrage of news and such, but if people want to share important real world things here that’s dope! I find the guilt tripping a bit squicky though I understand what people mean when they do it

16: Do you like tag games?

Yes! I love getting tot know all of you :] even tho tagging people terrifies me, I’m afraid I’m bugging people (even tho I am literally never bugged by being tagged)

17: Do you like ask games?

Yes!! See above

18: Which of your Tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

housdhffhhhd idk I’m friends with a handful of fanartists on here that probably qualify

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I do not really do crushes honestly asdkjfhasjkdfh Kip Overshares Hours but very rarely have I ever crushed on people in a legit “Im in love with them” way and not just a “wow they’re neat I just wanna be friends” way, and that first version tends to only show up after we’ve been friends for awhile, and even then its more just like my brain going “oh lol!! man that would be neat, we’ll see what unfolds” instead of butterflies in the stomach and planning dates and such. I like being single and I dig the Old Married Couple Vibes if I could just speedrun straight to that

20: Tags

not to be contradictory to my comment abt being terrified to tag people akjshdkf but i am a bit!!! but I will tag @plainrea and @thatfriendlyanon :]

[asuka--langley--soryu]

tagged by: @so1987​  thank you!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

I had just watched nge and wanted an asuka url and this was available lol. I have desperately and deeply wanted the single dash version for literally years but its never been available :// if you are hoarding it then pls know we are mortal enemies on this earth and i can and will fight you for it

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

well, first of all, this is a sideblog lol. my main is @paradoxspaces​

I’ve had various sideblogs over the years but at this point the only active one (aside from here) is an mcr/music sideblog @so-ingestible​. Once upon a time I ran @isgeorgehwbushdeadyet which is uhhh obviously now defunct but remains my pride and joy

3. how long have you been on tumblr? jfc since literally 2011 :/ ive seen it all and somehow stuck around which idk is probs in the dsm somewhere

4. do you have a queue tag? Is just ‘q’ right now, but back in the day I did used to have one of those dumb punny ones bc it was The Thing To Do

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? Started this blog bc I’d finished nge and was absolutely out of my mind about it and needed somewhere to vent that lol. Also I’d gotten this URL and it seemed a shame to waste it.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? this asuka has been one of my go-to pfps for yeaaars across various platforms. I like how judgemental she looks.

(tho just between you and me i have been thinking of changing it soon so mayhaps watch out for that)

7. why did you choose your header? I like the ‘red sea’ image and it’s not super obtrusive/obnoxious

8. which post of yours has the most notes? I have no idea lol I dont keep track of that. like i said i’ve been here since 2011 and have had multiple sideblogs in that time so is more work than its worth

9. how many mutuals do you have? is there a way to find this out that isn’t literally going through and counting? bc im like. not doing that.

10. how many followers do you have? 10k on here

11. how many people do you follow? 688

12. have you ever made a shitpost? lol yea sure whatever that even means

13. how often do you use tumblr? uh god probs too often? its really the only social media I use tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? lol no, not really and especially not at this point. i just.....dont take tumblr seriously enough to muster the kind of energy to get into the maladjusted social thunderdome that goes on here. obvs i have been known to get snippy w anons and post about disagreeing w certain opinions bc i am, at the end of the day, a bitch, but i dont think thats the same thing lol.

however i will say that on my main (and off tumblr as well, unfortunately) circa 2012 I used to throw myself passionately and heroically into the most god awful unholy trenches of the vriscourse bc idk apparently i had nothing better to do back then and thought it was my mission from god to argue w people on reddit. if you know anything about the relationship between any given unmedicated 14 yr old prelesbian meangirl and vriska then you can probably guess how i acted--which is to say like an absolutely rabid fucking animal. 

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to share this’ posts? i ignore any posts longer than two sentences as a general rule

16. do you like tag games? (+) 17. do you like ask games? yes to both!

18. Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? o christ once again i have no fucking clue. if youre famous lmk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nah lol none of you are real

20. tags (no pressure!) o geez i will come back and edit this when im home xoxo

[plutowrites]

AHHH PLUTO okok I’m definitely requesting something from my mf baby 😤❣️

Okok we already know who I’m picking this with... but to be safe Levi LMAO

My pronouns are she/they so she is fine 🤠❣️

OKOK for starters I’m an INFP ! Personality wise with people I don’t know very well they do say I’m a little blunt and I come off harsher than I mean to and I have a very dominant personality, like I’m not at all afraid to call shit out if I see it and be honest with people! But I also think I’m a very kind and devoted person! With my friends and people I talk to though I’m very loud and I feel like I can be a lot sometimes LMAO, I’m just a loud goofy person :)

I’m also very awkward though like “🧍🏻‍♀️”at its finest in social situations that aren’t with work, I’m not very good at reading social queues which is probably why I’m very blunt a lot of the time and harsh on accident cause I don’t mean to be!! I’m just talking!!

I think I’m pretty funny too 🤓

Generally people either think I’m v sweet or mean and idk where that puts me LMAO

Hobbies 🥸 this is so hard always pls but I like artsy stuff -we know this- and I really like the outdoors!! Camping??? Yeah sign me tf up ! I MF LOVE ROADTRIPS I love every part!! The long drives and the scenery and the hotel and the stupid souvenirs it’s just ugh I love it :)

Looks; ok now listen, I am 5’9” and like a half,,, I know Levi is like 5’3 on a good day but IDC‼️I love my lil shorty❣️❣️For looks idk what else to say besides the fact that body wise i’d say I’m like curvy but I have kind of muscular/thick thighs from when I did rugby -that I am a teensy bit insecure about- and that’s just kind of how I’ve always been built man 🧍🏻‍♀️ features wise I have curly black hair and brown eyes and uhhh a beauty mark right by my lip like a Marilyn Monroe one idk what else to say face wise LMAO 😶

Ok I WONT put smoothie as my fav dessert cause apparently that don’t count 🙄✋🏼‼️ so it’d have to be like strawberry anything 🤓❣️ besides ice cream 😶 like strawberry cheesecake! That’s good there we go :)

OK I HOPE THIS WASNT TOO MUCH I LOVE YOU PLUTO PLS IM SO EXCITED

HI LOVE I kinda went off bc you gave me so much to work with ❤️🥺 and while i was writing everything i was like damn...im starting to have feelings for bunny too LMAOO

ANYWAYSS i hope you enjoy 😘

Random Headcanons

Levi and you started dating because all your mutual friends were pushing you guys together and it got to the point where the two of you were so frustrated and were all like fine, LET’S JUST DATE

But then he started to really make you feel ushy gushy feelings…..and you started to make him feel such strong and intense emotions

Whenever the two of you hung out he would bring you snacks that he saw you eating (and enjoying) before. Like y’all will go on a hike and he’ll pull out gummies from his pocket or a random ass drink for you

“Where did that come from?”

“Just take it idiot.”

“Are you sure?”

“I brought it for you.”

 He’ll get so shy then after realizing what he said and he vows to himself to never be soft like that again but then he can’t help it when he’s around you. Poor bby just wants to make you so happy.

He loves listening to you talk and it doesn’t matter what you talk about, he just loves listening to you go on and on ESPECIALLY if it’s something that makes you excited 

You just do something to him when he sees your eyes go all wide and you start to use your hands to speak and he’s freaking out in the inside bc he thinks you’re so perfect but on the outside he looks so nonchalant as he drinking his fourth cup of tea of the day

He’s gonna look forward to your stories, and he especially loves your work ones except when ppl are making your job hard for you

He gets all annoyed that he can’t be there to tell them to fuck off 

I know you said your thighs were a bit of an insecurity for you but if you let Levi find out he’ll make sure you know he loves them and you’re perfect just the way you are

One of his favourite things to do is just lay down on them, head in your lap and he gets to just look up at you and be at peace

He doesn’t communicate his feelings 24/7, he would much rather show you how much he adores you

I feel like he’ll love to give you massages? The two of you will be watching a movie together and he’ll pull your feet onto his lap and just rubs them, or he’ll grab your hand and massage them for you

OUU you’ll be like ugh my hands are kinda dry and he’ll be like bet and leaves the room then comes back with lotion and rubs it on for you 

“I can do that myself, ya know?”

“Tch. Why do it when I can do it, brat?”

OMG you guys watch shows together and he would be so HURT if you watch an episode without him

He’ll come back home from work and see you watching the latest episode and his face will fall and he’ll just retreat back to the room without speaking to you LMAO

You have to promise to never do it again and give him lots of kisses. He’ll act super annoyed but he would forgive you in the first 5 seconds

GIRL he’s gonna love playing with your hair, he is lowkey (highkey) OBSESSED with touching your curls

Tries to do this at night though so he doesn’t ruin your hair for the day

Omg i’m writing a lot AHH 

Levi loves how easy it is to be around you and how effortless it is to love you

He’s not into the theatrics and he hates unnecessary drama so when he’s able to find someone he can be 100% himself around without worrying about rubbing them the wrong way with his personality...he’s so hooked

He appreciates your bluntness! He doesn’t like when people beat around the bush, he prefers someone who is always honest even if it comes off harsh! He’s the same exact way!

HE simply adores your beauty mark, you’ll just catch him sometimes looking at it (and your lips ofc) he thinks it super adorable but he also won’t be super obvious about it

He hates how much money you spend on iced coffees, he always wonders why you can’t make it at home like how he makes his tea at home

You’ll walk through the door and he sees a cup in your hands

“Didn’t I buy you an iced coffee this morning? You still haven’t finished it?”

“No, this is another one.”

“You’re 90% iced coffee at this fucking point.” 

One day he gets so fed up and he just buys all the ingredients to make your iced coffee at home and I’m not talking about him getting some basic instant coffee and some creamer, this man is ordering all the flavours you like

You like hazelnut syrup? He got it. Caramel? He ordered it. You like sweet cream cold foam on top? He bought a milk frother.

He’ll tell you he regrets it later on bc of how much space everything takes up

“Our kitchen turned into a shitty ass starbucks” 

He doesn’t actually regret it tho, he knows how much you love it and that’s enough to make him feel satisfied 

How Levi asks you to be his valentine

This man just straight up texts you! (see image below)

PLS Levi acts so hard but in reality he is so soft for you

After he presses send he constantly checks for your reply

Jumping to his phone when he feels a vibration in his pocket and then gets disappointed when it’s not you texting him back

How Levi spends Valentine’s day with you

For the valentine’s day itself he plans a road trip for the two of you and even though the destination is breathtaking and gorgeous, you can’t help but to think the best part was the journey

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuouki Yuugiroku 3 Short Episode “Very Similar”

This translation is from the 3rd Yuugiroku game “Hakuoki Yuugiroku - Taishitachi no Daienkai,” and I will not be referring to it as such since it’s too much of a hassle to copy/paste/look up the title every time plus I reserve the right to be lazy since I don’t see anyone else translating anything from this game! xD lol... as such, this why I will only be tagging this under ‘Yuugiroku 3.’

ANYWAY.

when i was taking a break from filling up my queue with ssl stuff, i ended up translating this for some reason. lol. should probably have done something from kyoka-roku since there’s still that rain scenario stuff and the other char povs to do, but since i have translations for about 95% of this game (not counting yuugiroku 1 [have a patched psp iso file but I don’t care to learn how to extract text from it as i’m lazy] and 2 [have various tl for this... very unorganized plus some of it is incomplete] which are bundled onto this vita game), i figured that it didn’t matter if i got a tiny head-start. The only thing I can’t translate/have no translations for from this game is the section that has no text where the guys comment on various drinks or something (can’t remember what they are aside from sake cuz i distinctly remember Saito saying something about sake and tofu lol), and the misc dialogue that occurs when you select something in the menu or during the mini-games.

In regards to this content, I think this was in what was referred to as the “Appreciation section” [not sure+too lazy to check jp mtl], though the translation of the text on the right on the first image below the cut is ‘episode’ in Chinese so I will be labelling this as such... There are a total of 9 in these in the game.

all images used in this post are my screenshots aside from the game box art (this is the limited ed bonus version). do not repost elsewhere.

enjoy~

Hakuouki Yuugiroku Taishitachi no Daienkai - Episode “Very Similar” 

Translation by KumoriYami

Characters [text on bottom left]: Hijikata, Okita, Sakamoto 

Hijikata: Ah, I'm back.

Sakamoto: Yo Hijikata, I've come to visit.

Hijikata: ...! You are Sakamoto! What are you doing here!

Souji: We were just talking about HIjikata-san.

Hijikata: Me?

Sakamoto: Yeah! You and I were born in the 6th year of Tenpō [天保], really what a coincidence!

Hijikata: What nonsense, weren't there a lot of people born in that year?

Souji: That's not all, Sakamoto-san is also the youngest son of a rich family.

It's no wonder why [these] two [have] faces that looked completely spoiled by everyone and the world around them.

Hijikatta: Are you qualified to tell me that?

I suffered a lot during those days/years [the actual word used is "years" but the phrase used can mean either "in those days", "during that time", and "in those years"].

Sakamoto: That's right, have you tried being a merchant?

If you're capable of doing that, you should go and open and up your own store. [theres no damn pronoun subject in this sentence but based on jp mtl  and context, im assuming he's telling souji off]

Souji: Hijikatasan, you opened a store/ran a store? With his temper? That's not the way to joke [That's not something to joke about/That's a bad joke?].

Hijikata: Shut up! I also didn't think that suitable for me to do.

Sakamoto: After your parents also died early. [Weren't you] raised by your eldest sister who is [now the] closest to you too? Actually, that's another a coincidence!

Souji: Eh, it is like that. I was also left with my elder sister after my parents died early.

Sakamoto: Oh, then you were also brought up by your elder sister!

Souji: I don't remember so who knows.

Sakamoto: You don't remember....... you can't remember your own sister?

Souji: Mah, it's more complicated for me.

Sakamoto: (whispered) Although I don't understand that, it's better to not ask questions.

Hijikatta:  (whispers) Yeah, the exterior of this guy is [already] super troublesome.

Souji: By the way, doesn't Sakamoto-san have a friend who is sick and bedridden?

Sakamotto: Ah you're talking about Takasugi?

That guy is bedridden [literally: 'to fall gravely ill, never to recover' (idiom)] because of tuberculosis.

Hijikata: Tuberculosis.......  it's said to be an incurable disease, [we?] should go and meet him while he's still alive.

Souji: Hm....... There are similarities even in this aspect?

Hijikata: What did you say?

Souji: Nothing, just thinking aloud.

(”art” cg)

Hijikata: That reminds me, this morning you drew on my face while I was asleep!

Souji: I obviously used prepared ink, [so] I don't know how you managed to remove it.

Hijikata: I was desperately worked to get it off! It would have been a disaster if I didn't leave without checking a mirror!

Souji: It would be better to have all the mirrors inside headquarters hidden away next time I draw.

Hijikata: Souji, you.......!

Sakamoto: I don't know if the relationship between you is good or bad.

I've heard that the Shinsengumi rules and ranks are well respected [maintained/adhered to.. i guess?].

But this doesn't look it's harsh to a deranged degree.

Souji: that's right, even though Hijikata-san looks like this, he's a very tolerant person.

(cg 2)

Hijikata: Hmph, it's annoying how you say whatever comes to mind [say whatever you please].

Souji: I'm serious, I truly respect Hijikata-san.

Hijkata: Shut up. If you're going to be making stupid comments, hurry up and leave with Sakamoto. I have documents I need to write!

Sakamoto: What? It wasn't easy for me to come/I finally managed to come [yet] you're so cold and detached.

Souji: Hijikata-san is such a person, but as he says, we should go. Ah by the way Sakamoto-san, are you able to write haiku?

Sakamoto: Oh? I'm only able to write basic phrases at the level of an ordinary person [I can only write basic phrases].

Souji: I have a lovely book of haiku, would you like to take a look?

(oni cg with horns + sound of thunder)

Hijikata: You stole my haiku collection again! I will absolutely not be letting you off today!

--------------------

did this in june lol. 

i do like these short stories... not that yuugiroku 3 has any real plot to speak of, though i have no idea when I’ll translate another of these or anything from this game again for that matter since i still got ssl and ginsei no shou to work on.

[seoscribbles]

i got tagged !!!!!! by the lovely @isitizyesitis !!!!!!!! im very uwu rn

Why did you choose your url?

my url used to be amyloveswords, then it was amyadoreswords because i liked the alliteration better, and then i changed it to seoscribbles because i go by Seo now and i scribble from time to time 😌

Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

I realized I was reblogging too many hyperfixation-related things and that was probably annoying the people that followed me so i made a hyperfixation blog, @parasocialrelations, where I would post about the stuff I'm obsessed with, which is mainly dimension20 at the moment.

While watching dimension20, I realized I had a knack for screenshotting no context moments and I made a no context screencap blog @nocontextdropout !

How long have you been on tumblr?

Since I was in eighth??? grade I think???? like 2015/2016, probably

but i've been reading tumblr textposts on instagram since I had access to the internet fdjsakfdahj

Do you have a queue tag?

I'll be honest I've seen other people do queue tags and I have no idea what theyre for ????? someone please help me.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I think I started it as a studyblr back when i thought I'd post original content

Why did you choose your icon?

I started watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) every time I felt sad and the image of lizzie bennet reading made me feel warm inside fhdjkas

Why did you choose your header?

I honestly dont remember where my header came from ?? but it's aesthetic dont you think How many mutuals do you have?

how does one check ????

How many followers do you have?

493

How many people do I follow?

I also have no idea ?? its A Lot

Have you ever made a shit post?

Every post I willingly make is a shit post, actually

How often do you use tumblr each day?

Some days I'm on tumblr for 3+ hours and some days I forget tumblr exists

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

nope

How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I feel like they can end up trivializing some actually important stuff but also idk

Do you like tag games?

I do !!!! pls tag me more it gives me love kernels

Do you like ask games?

I like them but i get scared to reblog them bc it feels like im asking for attention?? also because i dont think anyone would actually ask me anything lol

Which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

I tell @theunsleepinghimbo that they're tumblr famous all the time but they don't seem to believe me 🙄

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

thank you for the tag omg 🥺🥺

tagging @justsomerandomletters, @thatfizzyyyy, and @theunsleepinghimbo if yall wanna!!!

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[didyouknowmagic]

Value Engineering: Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge

Well Galaxy’s edge is out! And so far the consensus has been pretty strong when it comes to the land and it’s offerings and that’s only with one of it’s attractions operating! Still that being said a LOT that was promised, and hell even intended to be apart of the land didn’t make it in during the last minute. So what is missing from Galaxy’s edge? Glad you asked! It’s the part of the land that made Imagineers so excited and gave them the courage to claim this would redefine theme park lands and was even their code name for the entire area. Project Delos, the name being inspired by the show West World which features a theme park that is basically where you go to live out your fantasy with highly interactive robots that act as if they are apart of the world you are visiting!  Essentially Interactivity, live actors, and role playing elements! The LARP area of every star wars fans dream.

Where to begin with this one, well all the way back to it’s inception even before it was known as Galaxy’s edge Disney kept touting that this land would set itself apart by it’s inhabitants. 

As seen in the concept art there are a LOT of characters here, aliens, bounty hunters, and yes droids. So was this piece of early concept art an embellishment? Yes and no. Yes in that the layout of the land is not like this, and no in that everything else shown in the image was 100 percent meant to be the reality of the land.

Let’s take a look at one of the more final pieces of concept art to see what I am talking about. This was one of the initial concept art pieces for what Oga’s Cantina is supposed to be. A watering hole for Bounty Hunters, aliens, rebel spies, and storm troopers alike. You are meant to have the feeling of being transported into the films and seeing these seedy characters all interact with you and the other guests that’s what the big appeal to this bar was meant to be! Because in the films that is what these places are strand despots for all sorts of creatures to interact and be amused by. 

Now let’s take a look at that Lizard looking guy in the yellow and red armor next to the Jawa. That is one of the most pivotal pieces of how this whole bar was meant to be an interactive experience, and his name is Harkos!

Wiki article about him below

 https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Harkos 

Back in 2017′s D23 he was announced to be a PIVOTAL part of the land and would reside here at the Cantina. Where he would find guests and either commend or even berate them based on their performance on smugglers run which he would have access too thanks to the Play Disney Parks app. They were so sure of this they created lore around the guy and included him in several pieces of art. It’s this very energy that is missing from Oga’s cantina, it’s a seedy wateringhole without anyone seedy visiting, unless you count tourists as seedy and even then mileage there varies depending on whose there that day.

Let’s move onto to more missing Kinetic energy for the land

Here is a video from Star Wars Celebrations in 2017, showcasing what was meant to be a stunt show featuring ray against several storm troopers that was intended to take place in the walkways that are above guests which are littered throughout the land. While this element wasn’t entirely cut as there is still a small show (Though with little to no stunts and some flares) it was left albeit more minimal that it was intended to be. 

Another feature that is likely on the back burner but was still cut from the land was the sit down table service and show. 

Think hoop de doo revue meets star wars and it’s variety of alien musicians and performers and you have a general idea of what the restaurant was intended to be. As far as I can see this one among the first round of cuts from the land as it wasn’t mentioned as far as I can look up at the 2017 conference but was shown in the initial pitches for the land. This is where you would have gotten your fix for the aliens and the Cantina style band. This is one of the bigger mistakes in my opinion regarding cuts as the land while it does offer 2 quick services is in dire need of a table service environment, anything that can help take the load off of Oga’s which is brimming at capacity every day. Yet this was cut too, in favor of having the area it’s currently in being used as the overflow queue for Smugglers run. 

The last thing im gonna touch on and this is one of the more obvious cuts is the lack of roaming droids! 

Back in 2017 Disneyland and I think Disney world as well were both testing out droid units to which they basically said were indeed going to be part of the magic of galaxy’s edge. 

And as seen in the concept art several units were supposed to be littered throughout the land. They would have been controlled by cast members and would have added yet another touch to making galaxy’s edge feel truly unique. Yet about 6 months prior to opening news that these and most of the aliens in the land had been cut.

SO, What happened? Well there are two stories going around. If rumors are to be believe Bob Chapek viewed these additional entertainment options are WAY to pricey and instead of paying for equity performers (Bounty hunters, stunt show personnel, and aliens) and puppeteers (droid performers) he canned the whole thing. Basically saying let the land speak for itself these embellishments aren’t necessary. Which if true is disappointing and very wrong given that the land was clearly designed for this interactivity. Money has already been spent on infrastructure for all of these features (minus the restaurant) which is sitting there literally unused for guests just to save a quick buck. 

The other story is that Ops fearing that Galaxy's Edge would be packed to capacity knew that they wouldn’t be able to implement these interactive pieces at the start. Bounty Hunters would be mugged by every guests for photos, droids would be unable to move in large crowds, and the wandering aliens and jawas would be swamped by guests for photos as well. While there is no definitive answer to which of these is true at the moment my money is probably on a mixture of the two. Cuts and fear of crowds. 

To Summarize I think Galaxy’s Edge is still a heavily creative piece of work and the care and appreciation that went it is obvious. But if I’m being honest it’s missing it’s soul a little bit, part of the appeal of going into the star wars films is the denizens that make up that universe. Without them it leaves land a little bare. Thankfully this is an issue that is the easiest to fix and hopefully somewhere down the line all of these things listed will make their way back in one form or another! Until next time Bright Moons everyone! 

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[virmillion]

Dark

Arbitrary (Part 1) / Alternate Ending

happy birthday patton! // alright my dudes here’s one of two endings. if you chose this one first, im sorry

Warnings: none, let me know if you need any

The silver analog clock is still ticking away softly when Patton wakes up a few hours later. 9:36. The ten of the minute plus the one of the minute is the hour. The one of the minute divided by the ten of the minute subtracted from the one of the minute times the hour is the minute. Patton smiles to himself. For all he tries to resist adultery, Logan’s lessons in silly math games really stuck with him. Patton stands carefully, rolling his head to get out the cracks in his neck. Still no sound from outside of his room, or any indication that the other three remembered today’s significance, or lack thereof.

   He pokes his head out the door, glancing both ways but seeing no one. Just the faint blue glow of the television. Funny, he could’ve sworn he turned it off. Patton shuffles his feet over the carpet, reveling in the scratchy fibers against his socks, decorated in puppies with mustaches. No sound emits from the screen down the hall. No turning of pages, no singing of songs, no tapping at phones. Patton moves closer, wincing as the floor creaks under him. Still no sound. No reaction. He’s alone.

   The screen is on the slideshow of screensavers, this one of some landscape at a beach that Patton’s never seen, that he probably never will see. The couches remain empty, the kitchen dark, the hallway silent. Patton settles himself on the loveseat, alone, and turns the screen back on. Toy Story 3, maybe fifteen minutes in. He lets his head loll against the chair cushion, the mindless entertainment flowing around his head aimlessly. Nobody shows up to inquire about the movie still playing. Nobody shows up to wish him a happy birthday. Patton checks his phone. No messages. 11:30. The movie ends, the credits rolling up the screen as the next movie queues up. Where the Wild Things Are. Patton doesn’t lift a hand to wipe his cheeks, still damp from the ending of that Toy Story movie. He hasn’t made it through that movie once without crying at least three times. Usually more.

   Patton drifts off again, the last bit of his birthday spent alone in the dark, shivering under the cool blow of the air vent. He can’t bring himself to grab the blanket on the other couch, instead drawing his knees to his chest and hugging himself. Not like anyone else is about to do it for him.

   When the brightness of his phone screen wakes him up again, the television is on a screen saver, the room is dark, and he has a notification from one of his many games—a happy birthday wish, with a few free in-game currency tokens. The biggest present he’s gotten so far. Patton swipes a finger over his face, the raw skin still retaining the tear tracks. He doesn’t remember crying after Toy Story 3 ended. Goosebumps crawl over his arms, still freezing despite the air conditioner having turned off already. Still alone. He would’ve thought somebody would make the trek out, notice him by himself, seen him asleep, done something. Of course not. How could he forget? He’s an arbitrary side, providing unnecessary guidance in the life of someone who didn’t ask for it. The others made that pretty clear already. His phone blinks again, a second notification from another app for his birthday. Great. His technology loves him more than the other sides do. What else is new?

    Patton moves for the kitchen, turning the television off as he goes. Still never figured out who turned it back on in the first place. He makes himself comfortable with a bowl of dry cereal at the dining table, leaving the overhead light off. Shovels of manufactured flavor go into his mouth as he scrolls around on his phone, watching the battery drain as the clock ticks ever higher. 11:44. 4 percent. The hour times the percent is the minute. Still alone. With his fist propped under his chin, Patton lets his focus drift as he stares at a dark spot in the table, his eyes tracing the spirals as it melds with the rest of the wood. His vision blurs as he focuses on his thoughts, on how pointless January fifteenth is. What a waste of a day. 11:53. Still silent. Still alone. Completely arbitrary, and forgotten. The chair squeaks against the wood in protest as he pushes it back, empty cereal bowl in hand. He deposits it in the sink, splashing out the crumbs with the faucet before heading off to his room. Lights shine under the doors in the hall of bedrooms, but all of the doors remain shut. Patton lifts a fist to knock on the first, the dark blue one, but hesitates. They probably didn’t talk to him for a reason. They probably forgot. Maybe they remembered, and they didn’t care. They probably ignored him all day so he wouldn’t bother them. Patton lowers his hand, turning back for his own room and pulling the door shut behind him. The creaking hinges scream in the dark, splitting his ears. The most noise he’s heard all day.

    Patton pulls the campfire donut candle back down from the shelf, admiring the picture on the back. Specially printed in-store, a personal image instead of the factory one, a snapshot of all four sides smiling with Thomas after posting the first sides video with all four of them in it—Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil. Together. When it first started going downhill. Patton snaps a match over its box, lighting the artificial happiness and letting the tiny flame illuminate his empty room. The yellow gleams bright, casting a faint glow around the rim of his glasses while throwing his shadow across the room, letting it meld with the darkness. An orange chunk of the wick pops and crackles, falling into the rapidly melting wax. Alone. Dead. Patton sets the candle on the floor, admiring the dancing flame as it warms his face. Something he can actually feel, something to remind him he’s not completely alone. Mostly. Not entirely. But mostly.

   The lights outside of his door slowly click off as the night stretches on. 11:58. Patton closes his eyes, inhaling the indiscernible scent of the wax burning away. The metal of his door is illuminated by the fire, a tiny sliver indicating that not everything is empty. Most things are, but this one thing isn’t. This one candle, with this one picture of that one memory that he’ll never get back. When they posted the first video, and everyone slowly broke away from Patton, one by one. First Thomas, the instigator of it all, as he started to spend more time with his friends, planning and scheming. That’s not to say it’s bad, as Patton is a firm believer in the importance of relationships, but it’s more of a conflicting issue when those relationships come at the expense of his own. Logan followed closely behind Thomas, insisting that he needed to be busy writing plans and scripts, that he couldn’t be bothered with movie nights or arts and crafts or family dinners. Roman was right on Logan’s heels, determined to let a little frivolity cut through the boring planning stages of the videos. Even Virgil, his little anxious baby, vanished nearly as soon as he appeared, despite not being there for the first recording. He needed to be at Thomas’ side to make sure nothing too harmful slipped through the cracks, that some small detail didn’t get lost in translation, and Patton understood that. Truly, he did, but that doesn’t mean he loves the feeling of being forgotten now, with only a candle to show for it. 11:59.

   Patton considers the tiny flame, how it fights to escape the wick, to consume the wood upon which it sits, to lick Patton’s fingers and dance over his skin and crawl through his clothes, singeing his hair and melting his glasses and bringing the room to the ground, taking Patton with it. He knows the tradition—light a candle, make a wish, blow it out. Simple. An arbitrary set of actions that has no real purpose in being fulfilled. Patton glances to the ceiling, the shadow copy of himself darkening the space above him. He should make a wish. He should talk to the others. He should voice his concerns. He should try to make things how they used to be. He should try to make himself happy.

   He does not make a wish.

   He does not seek out the others.

   He does not voice his concerns.

   He does not make things the way they were.

   He does not know how to make himself happy.

   He does not make a wish.

   He does not make a wish.

   He does not make a wish.

   He blows out the candle.

   The smoke drifts away.

   The room goes dark.

Tag List:

@sakurahayasaki @erlenmeyertrash @lemonpepperpizza @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @milomeepit @leesacrakon @virgilmood @pantasticpanini