#im probably not going to make more tags beyond this for a bit

[zeawesomebirdie]

It's official I have a sketchbook and a couple of pencils now!! I have no idea when I'll feel comfy sharing anything I draw, but I am fully intending to post about it as I go, so !! Here I am, finally building a proper tagging system 😌

The tag for those posts will be "Tomas learns to art" in case you don't want to see that!

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im a normal individual that writes extremely normal fics. [through tears.]

[alfheimr]

My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

[awearywritersworld]

she mumbled that i was peculiar

sukuna x reader summary: impressively, sukuna is still trying to find ways to deny his feelings for you. nevertheless, he keeps you safe from harm when a late night trip to the store doesn't go as planned. will seeing his violent nature for yourself change the way you feel about him? he seems to think so. w/c: 4.2k (oops) tags/warnings: angst to fluff. attempted kidnapping. canon typical violence. depictions of blood. reader throws up. reader is in shock for a bit. cursing. aged up!yuuji. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. *please mind the warnings for this chapter* a/n: i'm sorry this took so long! im ngl, i struggled quite a bit to write this chapter. i'm still unsure about the pacing, but here it is anyway. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! series masterlist // masterlist

it's not often that you go out for the evening, but tonight is one such occasion. you leave around seven, excited to meet nobara and maki for dinner.

when yuuji falls asleep a few hours later, sukuna doesn't take over right away. he spends a while in his domain, engaging in what some people might call sulking.

before long, however, he begins to feel restless and he tells himself it's because he's grown accustomed to his finite hours of freedom. of course, it has nothing to do with your absence.

so he assumes control of his vessel's body and pulls a short novel from your bookshelf. settling on the couch, his fingertips brush over the cover: the stranger by albert camus

it's the first time he's ever been alone in your apartment, a fact he's well aware of, and his eyes wander to the front door. it'd be all too easy to pull it open, to make his way downstairs and out onto the street.

how long would it last before yuuji regained control? are you nearby? would you get caught up in the havoc he'd doubtlessly wreak?

the thought makes him grimace. returning his focus to the book in his hands, time seems to pass by faster as he makes his way through the pages.

even so, he deems the narrative a bit boring. in his (what's the opposite of humble?) opinion, dead mothers and nagging girlfriends don't make for the most captivating story, so his mind begins to wander once he happens upon the quote:

"so why marry me, then?" she said. i explained to her that it didn't really matter and that if she wanted to, we could get married. besides, she was the one who was doing the asking and all i was saying was yes. then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. i said, "no." she stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything. then she spoke. she just wanted to know if i would have accepted the same proposal from another woman, with whom I was involved in the same way. i said, "sure." then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there was no way i could know about that. after another moment's silence, she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.

sukuna thinks about you— the woman who forced her way into his solitude.

although, what if it hadn't been you? what if the brat had been involved with another woman? would he have eventually taken an interest in her too?

are you really that special, or is he just going crazy inside the cage that is itadori yuuji? the latter is much more likely, right?

he supposes he prefers the idea of madness over... feelings for some human.

all of a sudden, your apartment door seems much more inviting. would it be so bad if he were to step through it? what did he really have to lose?

yeah, that's right. he'll get up any second now and act on every horrible impulse he's been repressing. any second now... any second...

he can't quite figure out why he's unable to bring his limbs to move, weighed down by some force that's beyond him.

it's at that moment the door clicks open and for a split second, he thinks it must be his sign to go, but then you come waltzing in.

"'kuna!" you greet in an excited manner, disrupting the peaceful quiet.

kicking off your shoes haphazardly, you make your way over to him and promptly drop yourself into his lap. it elicits a bout of unwelcome clarity for the king of curses.

no, he wouldn't have taken an interest in just anyone, that much becomes obvious. it wasn't through a medium as flawed as chance that he came to... tolerate you. you're much too annoying for that to be the case.

"hello???" you wave your hand in front of his face. "i'm home."

"i can see that."

"welcome home, darling," you say in a deep voice, a poor imitation of him. "i missed you so much— that's what you're supposed to say."

yeah, definitely too annoying.

"but i didn't miss you." one of his hands comes to rest on your thigh, a betrayal of his preceding assertion.

"you're sitting alone reading—" you pause to inspect the book lying open beside him. "existential fiction about a nihilistic frenchman. of course you missed me."

he changes the topic rather swiftly. "you're drunk."

"i'm tipsy, at best." you roll your eyes. "can't i just be happy to see you?"

"you'd be the first."

"i don't mind making history."

you place a kiss on his lips, casual and affectionate in way that makes sukuna's body stiffen, and stand up.

"i need to get ready for bed, then we're gonna watch tv together because i missed you— gosh, see how easy that was?"

you run off to the bathroom and his body doesn't fully relax until he hears the shower turn on.

the thought of missing someone is a strange notion to him, because it implies eagerness and desire. for as long as he cares to remember, those emotions have been reserved for proclivities much more sinister.

so he hadn't missed you. he just would have preferred it if you stayed home. that's all.

when you return to the living room around fifteen minutes later, you're wearing one of yuuji's shirts, and as far as sukuna can tell, very little otherwise.

making yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs, you pass a hair tie behind you. "can you braid my hair?"

he's watched you get ready for bed enough times that he's fairly certain he can manage it. taking the tie from you, he still asks "why can't you do it?"

"because i'm sleepy," you frown, reaching for the tv remote.

gathering your hair in his hands and carefully dividing it into sections, he sighs. "you require so much looking after."

"you're not going to die if you can't have cookies tonight." sukuna states dryly, glancing at the clock that reads eleven o'clock.

"please don't trivialize my struggle," you begin, pulling on your jacket. "i want miso butter cookies— my grandma's secret recipe."

most of what you need can be found in the kitchen, but a trip to the store is in order for a few final ingredients.

"my mistake," he huffs, rising to his feet. "how insensitive of me."

"oh, it's alright. just don't let it happen again."

"sure. i'll keep that in mind, princess." sliding the apartment door's chain lock off the track, he does little to hide the vexation in his tone.

just as he reaches for the handle, you stop him and wrap a scarf around his neck, forcing a hoodie into his hands. "put this on. you'll be cold."

he looks at you as if you're crazy. "i don't have to worry about things as insignificant as the weather."

"well, put it on anyway," you insist.

he decides that acquiescing will be easier than arguing for the next five minutes and slips the hoodie over head. when you both step out into the chilly air of night, there are still a decent number of people traveling the streets.

stopping at a crosswalk the next block over, you begin to prattle on about what you need to pick up and the different steps in your recipe. naturally, you completely miss it when the pedestrian sign turns green.

"come on," sukuna commands, his hand wrapping around your wrist and tugging you along with him. "i don't have all night."

you scoff. "to be fair, i didn't say you had to come with me."

"yeah well it's late. you shouldn't be out alone." there's a hint of exasperation in his voice, like he truly had no choice in the matter.

despite that, once you reach the other side of the street, his fingers slide down your palm and thread through yours.

you glance over at him and find he's looking off to the side, so you bite your lip to suppress your pleased smile. is he avoiding your gaze intentionally? you decide that bashfulness suits him better than you would have expected.

offering him a light squeeze of the hand, you hope it conveys your appreciation of his small display of affection.

"so, are you going to help me make the cookies?"

his lips press into a thin line. "as thrilling as that seems, i don't particularly have a penchant for baking."

"you think you'd humor me a little! you know, since i'm your only friend and all."

"if anyone else asked me such a ridiculous question, they wouldn't live to see tomorrow." you ponder whether he's joking and quickly decide that he isn't. "this is me humoring you."

"you're so mean to me."

"hardly."

"fine," you pout. "then you can't have any!"

"now, hold on." the threat does make him hesitate. you've come to learn that if there's one thing he loves as much as reading, it's food. "let's not be hasty."

you're approaching the store, the sliding doors just a few strides away.

"it's only fair! besides, you're not going to die if you can't have cookies," you throw his earlier words in his face.

he exhales deeply. "have i ever told you how irritating you are?"

"woah! now you're definitely not getting any, mister!"

"alright, alright," he groans as you step inside. "i'll help you bake your stupid cookies."

"perfect!" you exclaim as if you knew he'd give in eventually (you did). "then you can start by finding the miso paste while i get everything else!"

you scamper off before he can tell you not to order him around like some common servant. he's never even been grocery shopping, how the hell is he supposed to find anything in here?

wandering the aisles, he stews over how domestic this is. for god's sake— the king of curses, shopping for ingredients and making baked goods. what have you reduced him to?

just as he considers giving up, he spots the item he's looking for and grabs it so aggressively that it knocks a few packets of instant miso soup to the floor. wrinkling his nose in distaste for the entire experience, he sets off looking for you, though his efforts are to no avail.

he wonders where the hell you could have gone off to when a flickering light catches his eye, filling him with a strange sort of unease.

it's emanating from a narrow hallway tucked away in the back corner of the store. at the very edge of the hall, a phone with a familiar case is lying on the floor, the screen shattered.

his blood runs cold, a sensation that is fully unknown to him, and the miso paste slips from his fingers. he appears in the hallway the very next second and the sight that greets him ignites a furious hostility in the center of his being— heavy and consuming.

you're struggling against one man as he drags you out of the backdoor and into an alley. another man is holding the door open, urging his partner to hurry up.

the hand over your mouth keeps you from yelling, but you're unsure you would have been able to make a sound regardless.

one second you're cast into darkness, and the next, the light seems blinding. the flashing is unceasing and it makes your head hurt.

two limbs are wrapped around your torso, keeping you firmly in place, and your arms are trapped at your sides. you might be kicking your legs, but they may just be dragging along too. you really can't be sure.

there's a thrum of a heartbeat at your back. it's pace is unforgiving, the intensity mirroring that of your own. you've a vague concern that your heart may very well beat right out of your chest.

then there's an abrupt shift in the air and a sickening crack echoes through out the night. crumpling onto the concrete, you think it must have started raining before you realize that the droplets on your face are warm.

you wipe at your cheek and your fingers stain crimson, the color matching that of an increasingly large puddle seeping across the pavement beside you.

there's a heap lying a few feet away and you recognize that it's wearing clothes. it's a sight you struggle to make sense of.

needing to focus on something else, your eyes find sukuna and the expression he's wearing is fierce and unreserved. "tell me what you wanted with her."

you've never heard him speak in such a way. his tone is low, his cadence nothing short of threatening.

"s-s'kuna?" your own voice sounds foreign to you and it goes unheard by him.

he has your attacker pressed against the brick wall of the alley, both hands wrapped around his throat. he's too livid to realize the pressure on his windpipe is preventing him from answering.

sukuna throws him to the other side of the alleyway out of frustration, the man rolling onto his back and wheezing to appease his lungs.

"tell me!" sukuna commands again, louder this time. less collected.

the man scrambles away from his looming figure. "th-they sent us, told us they needed her for an important matter."

"who?"

"they'll kill me if i tell you—"

sukuna crouches down, laughing dryly. "and what do you suppose i'm going to do?"

his eyes are almost unrecognizable to you. they're frenzied— a few shades deeper than the scarlet you've grown so fond of.

"you'll k-kill me either way, so at least i'll die with honor—"

"tch. useless." sukuna waves his hand, and you can hardly comprehend what happens right in front of you.

neat red lines appear across the man's body, then it ruptures into nothing at all. the only evidence that he was ever there in the first place is his blood.

the stench of which is perhaps the worst part— intense, coppery, and hot. it makes your eyes water, and before you know it, you're hunched over and emptying the contents of your stomach onto the ground.

sukuna is at your side in an instant, pulling your hair away from your face, but while one of your hands is braced against the concrete, the other endeavors to push him away.

his body doesn't budge at the contact, but he takes a step back anyway in an attempt to respect your wishes.

your mind is a mess filled with racing thoughts— what the fuck? this cannot be happening. what the hell even happened in this first place? that man was there and then he wasn't.

inhaling sharply, you wipe at your mouth and shift to pull your knees to your chest.

"what..." you trail off, surveying the unutterable, incomprehensible scene before you. "what did you do?"

he doesn't respond, though his features noticeably soften. somewhere in the back of your mind, you know very well what he did, but you can't help repeating. "what did you do?"

"we need to leave." it's not that sukuna couldn't handle whoever might show up, but seeing as this is your reaction, he has no desire to. "if you let me touch you, i can take us home."

you take a moment to think about it, then nod wordlessly. as soon as his hand falls on your shoulder, you're met with that same sensation you felt the night gojo teleported you and yuuji home after one too many drinks.

though this time, the sick feeling in your stomach isn't caused by liquor. you don't stand up, you don't so much as move a muscle when you feel the surface beneath you shift from concrete to carpet.

sukuna breathes out your name, his uncertainty evidenced by the way he's shoved his hands into his pockets. meeting his eye, you reiterate the same inquiry once more. "what did you do?"

it's almost as if you want him to tell you that he didn't do anything. that the whole experience was some disturbing nightmare.

"those men would have hurt you."

"that doesn't mean they deserved to die." you choke on the final word.

"yes— it does."

with that, silence hangs in the air like a suffocating miasma.

looking to your hands, you're reminded of the blood you've been spattered with. "i need to wash up."

you still don't move from your spot, too fixated on your flesh and the dreadful hue that it's been painted with. sukuna notices now that you're trembling.

he approaches you hesitantly before extending his hand. "let me help you."

you decline his offer, shying away from him. "i think you've done enough already."

god, the look in your eye is utterly despondent. he struggles to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.

his arm falls limply to his side and he looks across the room, your copy of the stranger earning his attention.

he's overcome with chagrin when he realizes that his concern brought about by camus' quote the other night was wholly misguided. he'd been focused on his own feelings, whether they were genuine or simply wrought by his isolation.

how foolish was he to ever question what you truly mean to him? with the anguish that's settled in his chest at the sight of your current state, the fact he ever doubted it makes him feel like a hopeless idiot.

had he any sense at all, the part that resonated with him would have been—

she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.

disgust. is that what you're feeling now? he's certain it is.

it was just last week that he relayed the story of his past. you're the only person alive to know the truth of how his wickedness came to be, and you met him with unconditional sympathy and understanding.

you pulled him close and embraced him, but now that you've seen him for what he truly is...? you can barely stand to touch him and it's like a knife to his heart.

you're so fucking warm— like the sun against his skin after weeks of endless rain.

and if you're the sun, surely he is the moon— cold and barren on his own, but brilliant when in the presence of your light.

to be without that? to be without you? it's a prospect too terrible for him to bear. it makes his stomach twist miserably.

you're startled (as is he) when his form falls to the floor, his knees meeting the carpet with a dull thud. he calls out your name again, but this time, his voice cracks as he speaks. "please."

he doesn't have a clue what he's even asking for. a chance to explain? forgiveness? a way to turn back time?

you don't say anything, but you do shift your gaze to him. he knows that he needs to fix this, so he wracks his mind for the right words.

"i didn't enjoy killing those men." he's somewhat surprised to find he's telling the truth.

"you didn't?" your voice is so small and timid that he can hardly decipher your words.

"no. my only concern was to keep you safe— to make sure they never put their hands on you ever again. all i felt was rage and... and... guilt. i should have never left you alone and it's my fault—"

"stop," you interrupt him.

there are tears welling in your eyes, making it difficult for sukuna to breathe. he's positive you're going to tell him that his intentions were of little consequence and that you never want to see him ever again.

instead, you push yourself forward and collapse against his body, your own wracked with violent sobs. the reality of the situation is only just now hitting you. it'd been much easier to focus on what sukuna had done, rather than what almost happened to you.

"i was so scared, 'kuna."

and still, despite the way you're clinging to his shirt and burying your face in chest, he's under the impression that it's him you were afraid of.

"i'm sorry," he tells you earnestly. "i never meant to frighten you."

"n-not of you. those men." you're struggling to speak in between desperate gasps. "why did they do that? what did they want with me?"

"i don't know." though, he is going to find out.

sukuna is not a man well versed in comfort, so he's not entirely sure why he begins rocking you back and forth, but he does it anyway.

when you finally start to breathe a little easier, he mumbles into your hair, "come on. let's get you cleaned up."

he doesn't give you a chance to respond before he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to the bathroom. setting you down on the counter gently, he searches the linen closet for a cloth.

it's quiet, save for your intermittent sniffling, as he runs it under warm water and wrings it out. his free hand moves to rest against the side of your neck and he dabs at the blood on your face, rinsing the washcloth every now and then.

he tries his best not to show it, but sukuna is agonizing over what might be going through your mind.

do you still feel safe with him? have your feelings changed? do you still love him, even when you've been so harshly reminded what he's capable of?

when you speak for the first time your words are hoarse, barely above a whisper. "thank you for saving me, sukuna."

he thinks about telling you not to thank him, not when it shouldn't have happened in the first place. he left your side, an error in judgement he'll never forgive himself for.

he considers your mortality— your weakness— in relation to his feelings for you. he's always seen this exceptionally human quality as despicable.

but now? all it does is terrify him.

"in the past, i was only concerned with my own whims and desires." his hand moves to cradle your face, his thumb running over your cheekbone. "though after tonight... you have to know..."

it's clear that he's struggling. his eyebrows draw together and his mouth twitches as he ponders his next words.

"i care about you, angel." his voice is hushed when he adds, "very much."

your eyes widen briefly and you murmur his name, but your mind is still reeling from the events of the past twenty minutes and you can't think of anything more to say. you're emotionally exhausted in a way you would have never thought possible.

it's plain to him too, so he knows his next question is selfish, but he can't go on without knowing. "does what you saw tonight change things between us?"

the silence preceding your answer seems to stretch on forever.

"i thought it would," you confess eventually. it was as if you'd put up a wall in your mind separating sukuna the king of curses from sukuna the man you spend your evenings with.

and it's difficult to reconcile the fact that the hands you saw used to murder two men are the same hands that are caressing your face so delicately.

at some point, however, you realized that the only time you felt fear tonight was when you were without him. his arrival and ensuing actions inspired shock and apprehension, though in some twisted way, you knew it meant you were safe. "but it doesn't."

the next question tumbles from your lips thoughtlessly. "does that make me a bad person?"

he chuckles and some of the tension in the room dissipates. "i think i'm the last one on earth that can pass moral judgement on you."

he tucks your hair behind your ear and scans your face, relief coursing through his body when he sees you smile. in this moment, there isn't anything else in the world he would have asked for.

"i guess you're right."

and now, the hand over your mouth is your own, an attempt to stifle your tired giggles. the light of the bathroom is warm and steady. sukuna's hands rest atop your hips, his touch firm but comforting. while you can't feel your own heartbeat, you're positive it must be beating in time with his.

when you crawl into bed that night sukuna pulls you close, your back pressed to his bare chest. you're thankful for the softness of his demeanor, because you need it tonight more than ever.

he doesn't recede to his domain until yuuji wakes up the following morning. he's determined to keep an eye on you as you sleep, to watch the slow rise and fall of your chest with newfound gratitude.

he knows he needs to speak with the brat about what happened. someone is after you and while he hates to admit it, he knows he can't ensure your safety alone.

and he will keep you safe, no matter the cost.

taglist: @96jnie @ay0nha @sad-darksoul @bbysatoruuu @luciiferian @risuola @lirasmoon @disaster-rose @archivist-ghoul606 @creative1writings @sloppyzengarden @omismicrowave @cecesharktales @tanyeonn @hiqhkey @ruixrei @yellowsubiesdance @thefallofruins @anything-and-everything-here69 @emzalot @elusivemoon @annoyingstrawberryballoon @miabiar @hyeon-yi @iluv-ace @thepup356 @browneyedgirl22 @lantsovheiress // users in bold could not be tagged. if i forgot to tag anyone, my apologies!! just give me a heads up.

[jiejies-corner-store]

THE AVENTURINE FIC 😭😭 OH GOSH IM CRYING 😭😭

i’m so sorry, anon! here this should make it up 😭😭 the devil knows you're dead

pairing. aventurine x reader

tags/tw: fem!reader, references to a complicated childbirth, mother!reader, father!aventurine, spoilers to aventurine's real name, spoilers in reference to 2.1 trailblaze questline, aventurine’s nihilism and depression, references to death, hurt/comfort, ooc aventurine probably, i make shit up at the end because i want a happy ending—bite me.

sfw

a/n: ouchie. i finished 2.1 and it hurt. it hurt a lot. the ost for the “all the sad tales” is genuinely so beautiful. the trumpet just feels so melancholy yet hopeful it just goes so perfectly with aventurine’s story. but i need something that feels good now. ABSOLUTELY NOT PROOF-READ pt. 1

“As long as you are alive, the blood of the Avgin will never run dry.”

It was cold. Cold and warm. Almost feverish feeling. The type of feeling you’d get when you were freezing but your skin was hot to the touch. There was this frustrating beeping noise somewhere off in the distance that you just couldn’t tune out, finally you opened your eyes to see a sea of darkness, and seemingly at an unreachable horizon, a large circle of white light that looked like a gate.

“You’re not dead, if that’s what you’re wondering,” a voice came from beside you. How you didn’t realize there was a whole person standing next to you, you had no clue.

“Well, that’s not originally what I was going for, but now I’m a bit worried I might be,” you laughed, nervous, but curious all the same. This… person you couldn’t quite make out an exact face, or even a body for that matter, but ther was this distinct feeling that it was in fact a person. Like your instinct knew, but your brain couldn’t quite fill in the details.

“This is a place beyond mortal comprehension, if I tried to explain it to you, you would only be more confused. Walk with me,” the entity said, and without even willing your body to do so, you followed. Ripples emanated from each step as you followed and soon the inky void around you melted into an unfamiliar planet.

The sky was a deep purple, streaked with red that looked like lighting that crackled along the sky. Instead of the fluid, black ground, sand now shifted as you moved foward. Inside a small hut made of rock, you saw a woman cradling a swaddled child.

“Such a lucky child, such a blessed child… Just like your name. A gift from THEM to Avgin… my boy…”

You turned to the figure beside you and hesitantly asked, “Where are we?”

“A land of rock, but not water, lightning, but not rain, blood, but not tears,” the entity responded cryptically, which only caused a crease in your brow. You went closer to the mother in the hut and sat next to her. She whispered a blessing onto her child, but none of the words made sense to your ears. Similar to the entity, it’s like your brain scrambled them from your understanding.

The mother cried. You tried to wrap your arms around her to comfort her but only phased through her like a ghost. The baby too began to cry.

Then, the scene changed again, suddenly it was a cell with iron bars. A blond young man sat next to you. The blond’s gaze was downturned, but you could recognize that voice anywhere.

“—Thirty tanba… that’s all my life is worth.”

“That’s not…” you said, but realized it was all in vain. You tried again to take Kakavasha’s hands into your own. You wantd to take the cuffs off his wrists and cradle where the skin was rubbed raw.

“It's all or nothing…”

“Kakav—agh!”

Your future never existed You█ future never existed You█ future ne█er existed You█ fut███ ne█er existed You█ fut███ ne█er ████ted You█ fut███ █e█er ████ted Yo██ ██████ █e█er ████ted

Your mind felt clouded, a searing headache, followed by an inability to even pin down a coherent thought. The scene shifted once more.

“What’s going on!” you shouted at the figure that stood only silently next to you, crippled on the ground, clutching at your head, fingers pressing in to try to find the spot that would alleviate this awful pressure.

When your senses were no longer blinded by pain, you were back to that inky void you started in, but this time you weren’t alone. Not far away, maybe twenty feet or so, was your Kakavasha, and a woman you didn’t recognize.

“Why are we born into this world if it's just to die?”

You stumbled to your feet to try to run to him, but with each step closer he only got further away. He walked towards that gate of light. In your head, you heart was pounding faster and faster. You failed to catch up to him. He only got further and further away until he disappeared like fireflies dispersing into the night, “Kakavasha! No—!”

Utterly devastated, you sunk back onto your knees. You didn’t know why but you had this distinct feeling of loss. Tears rolled from your eyes freely. He… he wasn’t gone surely? The entity’s presence reappeared next to you.

“Why did you show me all of this,” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted an answer.

“Because you need to go back,” the entity answered and your jaw locked, gritting your teeth so hard they hurt.

You screamed into the void, “You’re the one who brought me here!”

“I never call anyone to me… you mortals believe that it is US that determine when your time to go is… but in truth it is your own doing, whether it is your body or your mind that gives up first,” the entity said, “It is only the strength of your will that will allow you to continue down your destined path… but many give up on that path and someone else must be chosen.”

“What does this have to do with me,” you snapped. “Why are you meddling in my life? What does Kakavasha have to do with this?”

“Kakavasha still has a long road ahead of him. I have supplemented his journey all his life. It was only recently he was able to live on his own will,” said the entity ”Your body is giving up. I do not have the power anymore to keep him alive. That lies with you.”

Your surroundings melted again. You were in a hospital room and on the bed was you. Eyes closed and steadily breathing, but your heartbeat was weak. The annoying beeping from before was louder and more prominent.

“You wanted to help him. During his past, you reached out each time. There is nothing you can do about that now, but the future and the present… you still have a choice.”

Laying a hand on your unmoving body, there was a slight resistance, but with just a bit more pressure you felt as if you could phase through it entirely.

“What do I need to do,” you asked the entity.

“Live.”

You furrowed your brow at that. Of course you wanted to live… right? The entity gestured for your hand, you obliged. Against your palm was an oddly soft feeling. Warm. Like a mother’s touch against your’s. Your palms pressed together, the entity spoke,

“May the goddess Gaiathra close HER eyes three times… Keep your blood eternally pulsing… Let your journey be forever peaceful… …and your schemes forever concealed."

You lifted your head and your “body” began to disappear similar to how Kakavasha disappeared. Just before you disappeared into sparks of golden light, you had the sense about you to ask:

“Who are you?” you felt like you were shouting, but your voice was quiet.

“You could call me Fenge Biyos.”

You opened your eyes with a deep gasp for air. Your surroundings were blurry, and you rubbed at your eyes, only to realize Kakavasha was up, standing next to your hospital bed with an anxious expression, hands already grasping the one that was wiping crust from your eyes.

“You’re awake,” he choked out, holding you as if you would break, “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry I did this to you that I—”

“Kakavasha, slow down, what… why are you—no, don’t be sorry,” you finally found your words, sitting foward on the bed to wrap your arms around him. You racked your brain, trying to figure out what was going on. Your mind was still foggy, but finally that haze disappated and you remembered everything leading up to now.

“Kakavasha~” you hummed in a song-like tone, a small wrapped box with a blue and purple bow tied around it. You skipped over to his desk and wrapped your arms around his shoulders where he sat, and placed the gift in front of him, laying your head on his shoulder as your arms tightly hugged him. “I have a surprise.”

He smiled with a small laugh, “Doesn’t this usually work the other way around?” He pecked a kiss onto your check before pulling the bow off and opening the lid of the box, when he froze.

The smile on your face faltered bit when he didn’t say anything after a bit. The corners of it tightened into a more forced position, “Kakavasha? You’re gonna be a papa…”

The joy in his face from earlier had completely vanished. Only replaced by a stony, cold, poker face. He pushed his chair back and you stumbled into the wall behind. He gave you a tight smile and kissed your forehead before heading for the door and grabbing his hat. “I’ll be back later.”

With that, the door slammed shut behind him, leaving you at a loss as you fell into his chair, feeling suddenly so very empty in this large office alone.

He came back after that, apologetic for leaving you, but nothing felt truly right. He continued to reassure you that he did want to have this child, but it was a strenous time. The entire pregnancy was stressful. The doctors warned you that the level of stress you were under put you at risk for a premature birth, but you brushed them off. It was just the hormones, you were sure. Kakavasha still loved you. The ring on your finger should’ve been proof enough of that.

“How about the name Ilyas?” you suggested, laying your head on Kakavasha’s lap, “I was… looking at some databases about Avgin names and I thought that one was nice. What do you think?”

Aventurine hummed, but his mind seemed elsewhere. You let it go.

The next few months continued on in similar fashion.

But it all came to a head.

The two of you were standing in the kitchen. It had started off small. The hormones and the stress were getting to you. It was an off hand comment about him not fixing dinner, and you were tired and hungry from carrying around his child.

From there it had escalated. It turned into you were tired of feeling like you were walking on eggshells when you talked about the pregnancy. About how he was barely around for the appointments, and when he was he seemd emotionally distant… finally he exploded

“I never asked for this!” he shouted. “When did I ever say I wanted to be a father? Did you even ask me? Did you think about what I felt about this whole thing at all?”

You paused, feeling tears well up in your throat as a white-hot fear flashed through your body. You laughed, a hollow sound, “I’m sorry, Aventurine, I thought it took two people to make a baby? And you certainly made no attempt to use protection.”

He didn’t have anything to say about that. Even though the argument seemed over, you felt a nauseous feeling crawling up in your throat. Your tears felt like acid burning through your skin. Then a pain in your stomach. Your knees gave out and the last thing you remember was the scared expression on Kakavasha’s face before it all went dark.

“I was scared…. I was so scared that bringing another Avgin into this world would only bring misfortune onto you… that Gaiathra Triclops would take you from our child, just like my mother was taken from me,” he openly cried into your shoulder. “I took it out on you. I made something that should’ve been a beautiful experience something that was awful, and I understand… if you never forgive me for that but please…. please don’t leave.”

Now you were crying with him, one hand tangled in his blond locks and the other rubbing his back. Quietly, so quietly that you almost didn’t hear it, he whispered, “I can’t lose you too.”

You thought for a long time. In front of you wasn’t one of the Ten Stonehearts of the IPC. Not a calculating or cunning man, who’s only interest was in things that benefited the IPC’s bank accounts. In front of you was a broken man, who’d had everything stripped away from him when he was only a child. Who was shattered and forced to put his life back together with nothing but fear and anxiety as glue.

Did it excuse what he'd broken?

No.

“I’m here… I won’t leave Kakavasha,”

But maybe with time and effort, you could help re-glue each other with something a little more beautiful.

“Ilyas! Don’t run so far!” you called after a small blond haired child who was already ahead of you by a longshot, you turned exasperatedly to your husband, “Honey, can you go after him please? I don’t want him to get trampled by some idiot who’s not paying attention…”

The man only smiled at you, one hand firmly wrapped around your ever expanding waist, “It’s okay. There’s some of my squad that’s following him incognito. He won’t get out of our sights without them dragging him back. We can let him get his energy out. He’ll be cooped up in a hospital soon.”

You huffed conceded. Already tired from just getting through the theme park’s entrance. You were due in about two weeks, but Kakavasha was insistent that a week before you’d be under hospital supervision until you brought your second child into the world. It had taken about five years before the two of you had healed enough and there were roadbumps along the way… but you were both ready to give Ilyas a little sister.

But for now, the two of you wanted to let Ilyas have one more day as an only child. The reconstructed Penacony was nothing like the Dreamscape of the past. Fear and secrets no longer were trapped in the gilded cage of the former prison planet. With the help of the IPC and the Harmony, New Penacony was entirely real. No more dreams, just reality. They’d kept many of their old franchises and built a true theme park.

“Mama!! Picture! Let’s get a picture here before we go in!” Ilyas screeched, pointing at Clockie statue in front of the Clock Studios main attraction. You set a hand on Kakavasha’s arm, glancing up at him to try to get a read on what he was feeling. He’d let you in on the parts of his past that he’d kept a secret. The scheme behind Penacony, his proposed “death” and his encounter with his Past and Future.

He took a breathe and looked back down at you, giving you a smile that said “I’m okay” and relief flooded your bones. After walking you over in front of the camera, he crouched down and scooped Ilyas into his arms.

“Ready?” the cameraman asked and you nodded. After a brief countdown the camera flashed, and for a moment in that bright light, you saw the hopeful future that lied ahead.

[oranberryorion]

hii!!! im new on rotumblr but all my friends in bba were using it and kept asking if i had it. now i do!!

you can send me asks or whatever and ill respond for sure!!! not like i have much better things to do xD

updated 9/22 14:19 (sign off update)

ooc

i have to say: im new to tumblr and to rotumblr also, (started rotomblr 7/30) but i really love orion and wanted to make an rp blog for him becasue im bored and i have so much free time ..........

-⚙️ is regular orion

~🎱 is me､ the mun､ speaking (regularly used with ooc posts)

about the mun!!!

hi! orions mun here!! figured i should write this now as of 8/8, i havent introduced myself ?!!!??

you can call me adon or guy!!! guy is more the silly nickname but i truly dont mind what you call me ^_^

i go by he/him strictly but you can freeball with neos if you want

ive been into pokemon since i can remember :3 b/w was my first games, but ive played back to emerald and ive played the entire sv dlc and all!!!

a mutual of mine from my main account happened to have a rotomblr account, and when i looked through some of it, i got interested and made an account too!!!

interaction!!!

pelipper mail/malice: ☑️

musharna mail/malice: ☑️

mystery gifts: ☑️

magic anon: ☑️

in character anon hate: ☑️

please remember that if any of the mails/anons oversteps my boundaries, then i probably wont respond.

this is also pretty important to say: i dont care WHO interacts with me. fallers, sapients, eebydeebys, hybrids, ocs, self-inserts, in-game characters, i LOVE interaction. i respond to anything i see as fast as i can and unless its weird or stepping beyond my boundaries i WILL interact back!!!!!

that being said, i should establish some things

- mod is 15, orion is 16! nothing nsfw. suggestive jokes i really dont care but hes 16 so you should know the boundaries for that

- any rotumblr blog is allowed to interact (back). literally anyone. you want a sapient pokemon to talk to orion?? he'll answer!! want an eeby deeby to roleplay with orion?? ill respond!! even fallers or such, (as my own bff literally has two faller blogs LOL) asks, anons, general questions, spam mail, ask games, interaction is always allowed!!!!

- i love character events and planning. if you have an idea for a small event between our characters, or a type of relationship they have, anything, please let me know!!! my discord is adonciant and you can add me (im not always active, so ill try and accept any friend requests or such as fast as i can) OOORR you can just dm me on here!!! preferably keep it to orion, so dont go messaging my main about anything ^_^

- i (accidentally) do long threads of reblogs/interactions. i swear none of it is purposeful, i just happen to interact back if i get no indicator of an ending conversation. if you want, you can make an ooc tag to tell me to stop reblogging back or anything. these threads do not get tagged with anything, either.

- theres some content warnings to this blog, roughly listing: spoilers for sv dlc, emotional abuse, drug/substance abuse, scientific experimentation/human bioengineering stuff, traumatic responses, and any mild suggestive jokes that may pop up. more are to be added if any should be added

- this is exclusive to orions blog because of a certain anon that came from the associated grimsley account with orions lore. do not mention trafficking to him or the mun myself. orion was not trafficked nor sold. always think before you send an anon that there is a person behind the screen who has to read it.

- my main is @adonciant ! likes and follows come from there! + the pfp is orion, so you'll know who it is ^_^

if you wanna learn a little bit about him....

orion was born as a single child, and grimsley often visited him and took him out of town on trips. he was passionate about turning orion into a strong dark specialist, to which grimsley often took him out of the region to catch pokemon for his team.

one day, colress approached the two with a gamble that grimsley was tempted by; lots and lots of money. however, it risked handing orion over to colress

colress won the gamble, and took orion with him to alola. colress was met with new technology and research from both the ultra recon squad and the aether foundation, which drove him to study about the human body and the effect pokemon could have on them.

colress used stolen research and parts of technology to craft a mechanical body for orion

now he has a cybernetic body! later on he attended bba ^_^ feel free to ask orion how his body works i have fun writing ways for it to function

i may come back and edit some of this info. again i dont know what im doing on here but im figuring it out as i go 😭

POKEMON NAMES!!! his team finally has namess!!!!

hydreigon: colbur

scrafty: hondew

shiftry: aguav

weavile: enigma

samurott: rindo

grimmsnarl: dyna

[esse-lunam]

an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!

please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.

reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee

ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!

for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3

-

so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?

full name: marley jo veitch

nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)

pronouns: they/she

DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)

occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time

skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse

appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely

body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.

"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!

-

relationships and such! with photos!

s/o: robert sean leonard

"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!

best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson

"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!

-

my career! (oh good lord)

writing based - undedicated musings

(1986-1993)

alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3

film based - dead poet's society

(1988-1989)

so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.

also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!

music based - MAURZI

(1988-2004 technically)

strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda

- MAURZI (1989)

- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)

- Charmed (1992)

- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)

- Waterworks (1998)

- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.

now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.

MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.

GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.

Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.

I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.

Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!

and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!

writing based - novels

can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.

writing based - autobiographies

two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3

film based - doctor who

(1994-1999)*

*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.

big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.

so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.

film based - house md

(2005 - 2010)

marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3

film based - moonzi

(2016)

YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!

comedy based - dying art

(2020)

idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.

film based - radio free marley

(whenever)

i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like

ep 1: about me, point in my life

ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1

ep 3: about me, point in my life

ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3

ep 5: you get the idea

and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.

and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.

- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific

- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points

- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!

- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!

- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!

- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same

- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it

- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob

- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that

- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!

- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho

- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA

- thats all i got

sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

[poswiecenia]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: da name is miles. sometimes called kilometers as a joke , ive had the alias satan before ( stemming from the hetalia rpc from all things , we don't talk about that era ) and uh. yeah ? milays. a single mile. 

PRONOUNS: he / they baybee. 

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: usually discord but if i would rather keep distance until i can figure if we can get some dynamics going it'll likely be through the tags of posts or tumblr im's. 

NAME OF MUSE(s): man. looks at my roster. c'mon now LOL. go here to find out but my main braincell has lumine in it thank u

BEST EXPERIENCE: thinking emoji. probably running into jamey and those currently in my affiliates and developing various oc's and interconnecting plots and stuff that have found their way to the dash itself. its been super uber fun thank u.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS:

honesty when it comes to communication if something isn't a vibe to write anymore. it doesn't save fact not to say anything , it just makes situations even more dire or worse since it begins to pent up and then explode into something really bad. just be honest with what you do wanna write vs what you don't wanna write anymore. while yeah it might upset some people .. lack of communication isn't a price to pay for losing friendships or wild shit going down.

singleshipping. i can't due to trauma. and those who give the vibes that my muse interpretation is theirs and only there's but in a way that makes it uncomfortable ? miss me with that, thanks.

MUSE PREFERENCES: those that have gone through shit but are still able to be kind in some capacity even though it would've been understandable to see them crack and be cruel. characters with morally gray morals and don't see the world as a black and white slate. muses that are also full of sunshine and are innocent and haven't gone through the world to ruin that for them. characters that have a position of power or have immense power themselves and will do anything in their power to keep others safe. sad dads. old men who are tired.

PLOTS OR MEMES:  to begin things i'm usually partial to memes to get things going just due to my own braincell being unsure just yet but once things get going and im like waow this is super cool and will work . . plots fr. both are good and fun but something tickles when i can plot af.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: both. sometimes i wanna just do itty bitty meme responses and sometimes im totes down to clown with long form replies that are 1k words long or smth.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: honestly whenever. late in the afternoon into the evening sometimes flies more but its very ??? just dependent on my mood ig. sometimes i'll write 4 things then take a nap for 6 hours and then write 4 more LOL. 

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  some of my muses i kinda place bits of my brain into but uh ??? probably my oc's im most like bc i put pieces of my hopes into them. but beyond that idk i don't think any single muse i write is like. super like me 100%.

tagged by: @glacialswordsman + @aguilareye ( thank u guyyyyys :3 ) tagging: @draconicfool, @dawnbrst, @fckurselfie + anyone else who wanna.

[forever-fixating]

Some Sentences Sunday

Thanks to @priincebutt @onthewaytosomewhere @dragonflylady77 and @piratefalls for the tags! I've actually been doing quite a bit of scribbling this week on two different projects, and I was torn on which one to share. So I decided to say "fuck it" and share snippets from both! Below the cut are snippets from A Tournament for His Heart and living in a new normal! THH is quite angsty, so I figured I'd add some sweet from LNN to temper that. Enjoy!

A Tournament for His Heart

“Roland told me about Bea’s outburst last night,” Henry said, picking at the grass. “I should have been here.”

Phillip sighed. “Minari advised me against it. She was so gone last night, Hen, there was nothing you could have done.”

“You don’t know that,” Henry snapped. “I’ve seen her at her worst. You don’t have to treat me like a child!”

“That isn’t fair,” Phillip replied. Henry looked at him and saw frustration in his eyes. Phillip pointed in the direction that Bea disappeared. “She was my priority in that moment. I know you don’t like it, feel excluded when we don’t call on you, but I can handle her in those moments better than you can. She is your twin. I know you feel her absence more acutely than I ever could.

His previous irritation melted away as Phillip’s words hit right at the heart of him. It was a hard adjustment at first, to be so disconnected from the person with whom he once shared everything, even a womb. She was his other half. Now, he was a friendly stranger in her eyes. A foolish part of him hoped Minari would find something that would bring Bea back to them. She sent messages to fellow healers from different parts of Lerasea and beyond, only to continue to come up empty-handed. She once told him, “Magick can only do so much, Henry. Wounds of the mind are tricky and not so easily healed.”

“I feel so lost without her, Pip,” Henry whispered, his vision swimming. “Giving up Alex was hard enough, but I told myself then I could survive it as long as I had Bea with me.”

He sucked in a breath and felt Phillip’s hand on his back.

“But without her?” Henry continued. “Having to publicly fight with you, be looked down upon by the court and Mary’s counsel…at times, it feels unbearable.”

living in a new normal

(Alex is in italics, and Henry is not. Based on their texting styles, I figured it would be obvious, but I added the italics just in case.)

whats ur go-to comfort meal?

Yes, hello, love. How are you? I’m fine, thanks. Was there a conversation started I missed somewhere?

adhd, baby. im always in the middle of a conversation.

go-to comfort meal, go!

In England, a full English, with the Welsh variation of laverbread instead of beans on toast.

just googled what that is. wtf???

Don’t know it until you’ve tried it, love.

In America, grilled cheese and tomato soup. When I moved here, I was determined to start cooking for myself and that was one of the first recipes I learned.

my dad would make us tomatillo soup when we were sick

ill send u the recipe

oh! or we can make it together when u come to austin

i got a badass kitchen set-up

So, is that your go-to comfort meal? I can’t wait to try it.

probably

that or my mom’s king ranch chicken casserole

ur turn to ask a question

What five movie when you show someone as a snapshot of who you are and why?

fuck, that’s a tough one!

A/N- Have a great week!

[the-cheapskateler-show]

“We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a very important message…”

((Everything beyond this point is out of character!!))

Hello everyone, Cheapmod here! Many of you reading this probably have not met me, so hello! Nice to meet you! 👋 You can call me Py if you’d like!

Right off the bat, I just want to make sure nobody worries since this post got kinda long. Here’s the gist of it!: Cheap’s blog is going to be continuing! It has not ended, and it won’t be for some time. I want to thank you all for sticking around and giving this blog so much love, and I encourage you to seek out additional askblogs you would enjoy cause there are many out there to love!

Okay with that out of the way, some further context for that and other things I just wanted to take the chance to say while I’m speaking out of character.

First, Im so sorry to anybody who’s been worried about Cheap, the state of this blog or me. I promise, we are both okay and this blog is continuing!

I just took an unanounced break from ALL my projects to focus on approaching art and writing more healthily. I was on break for longer than I thought I might be but I have not stopped thinking of Cheap and all of you out there. I am planning on returning to bring Cheap back to everyone soon! As a heads up, I will be experimenting more with the art style for this blog just to see if I can make things a little more quick and fun for myself!

As for the esteemed host of the show, Cheap is doing just fine! Nothing has happened to him since the last update. I would like to note that the real life passage of time will not always affect him. I will need to take breaks like this every now and then for my own sake and other priorities. If that happens, we will generally pick up right where we left off! I’ve also got many fun and interesting things planned for this blog, so I couldn’t possibly stay away for too long!

Now for something very important…you guys!!

I cannot thank you all enough for the incredible reception Cheap has recieved!! It means so much more to me than I can possibly express in words and seeing every last bit of it has really warmed my heart 🥺 Thats why its very important that I come back and make sure all the wonderful questions, comments and compliments you’ve sent in are responded to and addressed in time!!

As WELL I am so delighted that I have been seeing some incredible pieces of fanart from you guys!!!! I REALLY want to thank you each individually as i have been doing so far!! The reason I haven’t said anything yet about any fanart is because I want to give each one the dedicated attention it deserves!!! And that will be coming soon and coming first with the continuation of the little intermission we started on for giving these works a highlight!

All fanmade creations will be tagged as: #viewer-art-showcase! and I encourage everyone to check out the pieces there and especially the artists behind them!! I will be providing a link to this tag for easy access in blog description soon after this post goes up.

Another thing I’d like to mention before I wrap up here is I am posting this on an significant day for Cheap! On this day, Nov. 26th 11 years ago, I started Cheap’s first blog! With some hiatuses and pauses in-between, Cheap will have been around for 11 years. I can hardly believe it! I’m very happy to be running his blog again with this little revival here and Im so happy I made a character who has had a chance to develop so much and endured as one of my favorite OCs. It is in large part thanks to all the support and attention he’s received through all these years across all his blogs that I bring him to you all today and im so grateful to all new and longterm fans. I hope you will all continue to enjoy Cheap’s shenanigans as much as I do! Thank you!!

Lastly, I just want to encourage everyone reading this to check out ANY of the other ask-blogs that Cheap interacts with on here! I realized its not very easy to visit these blogs due to the way i’m answering asks with screenshots, so I will go back and provide @ mentions and links to previous posts.

But better yet, there are SO many awesome askblogs out there to discover well outside his blog so make sure you don’t miss them!! A great place to check out is the #lerkimpails tag for new and returning askblogs! If there are any other newer specific tags for askblogs in use that you know of, feel free to drop those in the replies of this post-im still a bit of a fandom oldie here… heh heh.

There are so many creative askblogs out there to discover and meet and they can all always use more attention and asks. This fandom and even this little corner of it are what they are because of the collective efforts of everyone on this platform inspiring and supporting one another, so be sure to make others feel welcome and appreciated and just go enjoy what they have to offer!!

Thank you everyone for reading this far! I mostly want to leave the hosting on this blog to Cheap, so there wont be many OOC posts like this, unless theres anything i really gotta clarify. Still, you will find me around in the tags now and then for sure. 🦋✨

We will get this show a-rolling again real soon! Hope to see you all then!

Cheapmod-Py

[gendercensus]

On how useful the data is for people in non-English-speaking countries

Someone put some good tags on the original promotional post so I'm going to copy-paste them here and talk about that a little bit.

#even though im not so sure about the way data about people who live their everyday life in nonEnglish speaking countries is being collected #like idk i really don't think that data collected from people who don't have to use English every day #and only have to think about some situations hypothetically bears the same weight as data collected from people who use English every day #i just think that the language we choose is based on our every day experienceand this survey doesn't really take it into consideration??? #like idk what's the point of collecting data from people who don't function in the English speaking world every day #if you are not going to consider the variables that make this experience with English different #than the experience of people living in English-speaking countries #like my answers are 99% affected by the way i interact with people online. #and honestly not even 1% by how i interact with people irl #so like idk the word queer or dyke or faggot is getting more popular for example #but what does it really mean? nothing if you don't consider the context in which the word is being used #i grew up in a country where these words carry no negative weight bc nobody uses them #so for me the word queer is neutral and positive and it's not because it's reclaimed etc #but because bad words are bad because we learn to view them as bad through our experiences as we grow up #and when i first learned this word it was in a positive context #so yeah i can identify as queer but isn't it WAY different than people who identify as queer in the UK or in the US? #so idk maybe it's a serious accusation but it feels so anglo-centric #so like yeah you can get results that say that 'queer' label is getting more popular but it's an empty result #if you don't consider the context

So yes, this survey is not a representative sample. It's a self-selecting online survey promoted mostly via social media, which means the results mainly reflect the memberships of the big social networks. That's younger people and very online people.

And yes, I only speak English proficiently, and I am incapable of running a multilingual survey for a lot of reasons beyond that, which I talk about a little bit in this other blog post.

The survey invites participants to enter their country. It is true that there are many countries where English isn't the first language or isn't an official language, and the data for those countries is probably a bit sparse for this reason and may not be useful! I allow people to enter any country, because how do I choose which countries should be removed? And if I remove those countries from the list, are people in those countries just not allowed to take part? In every country there are communities of immigrants and native speakers of languages not native to those countries.

But anyway. That's part of why I ask where people live - so that for the countries where English is the predominant language, the data might be more useful than not. Even then, for a specific country, the data is still mostly people who hang out online, on social networks where trans people tend to hang out.

so like yeah you can get results that say that 'queer' label is getting more popular but it's an empty result

But not for countries where queer is a well-known and emotionally loaded word, right? And the gender census survey results can be filtered to show only results from a specific country, so that is potentially useful or interesting or meaningful.

And for this bit:

i just think that the language we choose is based on our every day experience and this survey doesn't really take it into consideration

It is true that LGBTQ+ people's preferred language is shaped by the language they use every day, and if you don't speak English AFK in your day-to-day life you won't use those words for your identity in that specific AFK context.

However, if someone uses the internet regularly (e.g. uses queer-friendly social media every day), that is an everyday experience. If they see and understand the promotional posts and read the survey and understand the questions and have meaningful responses to input, they "function in the English speaking world" enough to be able to participate. The internet isn't a fake made-up thing, we're all speaking to each other, we're all real people having real social experiences online. In a way, the internet is like the whole world without borders, and this is a survey of the people in this giant international text-based nation who speak/type/read English. So as long as you're aware that you're looking at data from that context, it can still be useful.

[ Take the 2023 Gender Census survey here ]

[twiafom]

i was tagged by kai @alkalinefrog for this tag meme thingy hiiiiiii

im also following the longer excerpt trend bc sorry mom i would jump off a cliff if my friends were doing it :(

Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

“Hey, Monkey, you got a sec?”

“Probably not. What do you want?” Technically a question, but Monk's voice is flat. He doesn’t look up from his... Well, it looks like some sort of tome. But Owen isn’t really a book kind of guy, so he doesn’t bother trying to identify it beyond that. He’s also pretty sure Monk doesn’t actually want an answer, but if he’s going to—technically—ask, then it’s not Owen’s fault if he gives one anyway.

“Just wanna show you something. Come on, it’ll be fun,” he says with a lazy grin. He leans an elbow on top of Monk’s seat, a ratty recliner in Khatt’s basement that probably had enough cushioning to be comfortable a couple decades ago.

Owen doesn’t need to see Monk’s face to feel the derision of his eye roll; he’s more than familiar with it by now. There’s something comforting about that familiarity—how it was born from the trials and tribulations that led them to the wonderful friendship of their present. He could almost sigh.

“If you take your pants off, I’m leaving.”

“I just wanted to know if I should see a doctor!” Owen pouts and drapes himself over the chair, just enough to annoy Monk to the perfect degree of distraction, but without getting his eyebrows burned off again. It’s a delicate balance. An art, practically. “Anyways, it’s cooler than that. Well, almost.”

Monk sighs and closes his—in Owen’s opinion, comically oversized—book with a loud thump. He turns to Owen, levels him with his most unimpressed stare—looking as unimpressed as Monk usually does is impressive in and of itself—and finally rises from the chair in a way that is actually, genuinely, a little bit intimidating.

“Make this worth my while.”

Owen grins.

tagging @emerialyncodevenice and anyone with a name starting with the letter m, older siblings, people who like festivals, people with kill counts, and cowboys

[claudiajcregg]

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

[serabellyms]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: serabellym (sera is fine!)

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her

MUSE NAME: multi-muse, so too many to list.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: discord if you have it, IMs if not. I tend to answer Discord more regularly & IMs I sometimes leave the notification until I have the mental capacity to respond as it's usually about plotting, so I have to be in the right mindset!

EXPERIENCE: on tumblr, about 2 years now? In general, well over 10 years.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: some angst or a dab of hurt/comfort is always a soft spot for me. I don't mind fluff once in a while, but it does become dry and repetitive after a while. Realistically, what I want is plots/threads that are dynamic and have a flow; maybe it starts off hurt-comfort, and as replies go on (and we're talking 10, 20, 30 replies in, so long-standing threads) it turns to fluff. Maybe there's a dabble of smut somewhere in there. Either way, dynamic threads is what I crave.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:

If you constantly drop threads/forget about threads/threads never go past 1 or 2 replies & we never plot, I'm less likely to interact, period. Taking your time is a very different thing; having multiple threads that are 2-3 replies that constantly get dropped are a motivation killer for me.

If you remake your blog more than once every 6-8 months, I get exhausted. For context, in 2 years I've moved blogs only 3 times. The first was to move from a side blog to a main blog (so it wasn't like I could clean up my blog and make it a main blog); the second was to move from multiple single-muse blogs to one multi-muse blog (I had a lot of content across 4 blogs, it was easier to combine it into one fresh/new blog).

PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO TAG FOR EYESTRAIN. It aggravates me to no end when asking for a tag is a problem. I often get the impression that people don't take the request for eyestrain to be tagged seriously, not realizing that the things I ask to be tagged trigger chronic headaches when it's missed.

Not filling out my interest tracker. I'm very clear why this is a requirement. It's actually detailed & coded on my end to organize it for my own sake well beyond what's asked for in the tracker. It makes it easier for me as someone with a disability to keep track of things, & it alleviates my anxiety to have those tools at my disposal, tools that I've taken the time to create for myself to make my life easier.

PLOTS OR MEMES: both! Generally, memes are good icebreakers, but I'm of the opinion that memes and plots go hand-in-hand. Memes are a great way to trigger a starter for something you've been plotting with a writing partner; conversely, memes can also serve to open the door for plot ideas to form when you discuss with people. I operate on the basis that memes are a way to start threads, and are generally not treated as one-off interactions on my blog. If you send a meme, it's going to be answered in a way that it can serve as a starter. In this case, anyone is welcome to continue memes that I sent if they'd like. I will not be upset.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: Long replies. Shorter replies are more difficult for me to write and work with in most cases. I can rip through a long reply faster than I can a short reply, because with long replies there's enough content that it gets the creative juices going, and it's a matter of just letting the flow roll. If you give me a short reply, you'll probably be waiting 2-3 times as long for a response than a long reply. (& for those of you thinking "but a long reply is more words to write"--I type around 100-120 words per minute. It's not about the word count or typing speed. It's about my ability to think of a response. Longer replies come easier from a creative standpoint for me.)

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Late at night for me, usually. I need to get more into daytime writing, but it's hard. I'm the kind of person who throws together half a reply while I'm laying in bed about to crash, lol.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: As a whole? No. There are likely reasons I'm drawn to certain characters because I relate to them or empathize with them/what they've been through, but I am not like my muses. Often, my own experience influences how I interpret the muse's experience.

tagged by: stolen lmao

tagging: @inufangs @smokedanced @hopegained @missallanea @stardustedstories @tenebriism @talesofourworlds @sailingtempest @primitiveside @bloodiedbiotic @altosk & anyone who'd like to steal!

[kaguya-muneuji]

OH I HAD A FUCKING CRESCENDO IDEA (FOR THISE WHO SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW :tm: ITS OUR ENSTARS RP GROUP EHEH)

MAGICAL GIRL AU

imagine

CRESCENDO but something like Yuki Yuna is a Hero which i TOTALLY forced you to watch

the heros are the members of the “hero club” or some sort of idolistic club and they go around and sing and dance for everyone else but the main premise of the club is to find sacrifices worthy for “god”—whoever that may be. So when Crescendo’s first mission begins, they freak out.

Kiyama, although excited, has never been beyond this side of the world. Where the gods lay. His flower may be something like… a sunflower, and his weapon being a polaram or breakers or something like that. something with high mobility.

Miharu is given something like. a daisy maybe? (wasnt able to find anything on masking) and their weapon is maybe something defense-related.

Kirina’s flower is a white lily. Since Kirina expresses herself through dance her weapon might be something like a fan or some sort of leg brace based on kicking

Sato’s flower is a lilac, since Sato (i think) values family and close bonds. maybe their weapon is something based on chanting and bringing things together— like the vines itsuki has

Katsu’s flower is a Strelitzia since they symbolize a free spirit. Maybe Katsu’s weapon is a straight up electric guitar or a gun of some sorr

Shion’s flower is a white rose, my gay ass loves to focus on shion’s split between her unit and crescendo, since she can only focus on one after the events of ykyk.

Anyways with these, this idol group is tasked with the duty of protecting the world against the “Vertexes” or the wrath of the gods against humanity.

Hehe what do you think so far?

HI. I GO INSANE OVER CRESCENDO. HIIIIIIII I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DID U GUYS KNOW THAT. ANYWAY I WROTE A LOT IT GOT A BIT LONG SO. MORE RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT ^_^

@twowink @lycanthian @shards-of-brilliance @crooked-corvid hope u dont mind me tagging yall but its ur lil guys (gender neutral)

also im sorry i never got around to watching it o7 i think i accidentally closed the tab for it while doing a tab cleanup KLJHFKJSHDKFJ

also FUCK YEAH . MIHARU WITH DEFENSE. GOD. IM INSANE ABOUT THAT. IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM TO BE LIKE . A PROTECTOR OF SORTS. YKNO . LIKE THEYRE CHILL BUT THEYLL ALWAYS HAVE UR BACK AND AOUR(ITDIFYGSDLIFUGSDFLKJG they have a shield and they most definitely have a helmet that they sometimes wear because im all for the "masking" and "putting on a different face" thing they have going on (if this is how you learn about this then. there u go! altho it seems i alr told you about it mostly . yeah i think i did say somehting about that) anyway. miharu sooo has paladin vibes. hgrhgh

i think kiyama (or katsu) should have gauntlets. they deserve to punch people. altho an entire electric guitar is SICKKK anyway kiyama probably would have Some armor (probably leather) on his upper body bc . hes gonna be in the middle of all these weapons ykno. he needs to be at least somewhat flexible and light on his feet right? hm. i dunno . kiyama and katsu are difficult to think about for this. katsu definitely has some lightning effects going on. That will stay.

SHION. I DIE IMMEDIATELY. OAURGHHRGHGRHGJHRGJRHG ourhg. she'd be probably one of the ones dealing dmg too. give em a sword ^_^ classic fighter. also im putting them in a skirt u cant STOP ME. oh if u havent caught on EVERYONE IS GETTING SOME ARMOR. YOU CANT STOP ME. magical girls outfits with just frills and fabric be damned. I NEED TO PUT SOME METAL ON THEM I NEED TO MAKE THEM KNIGHTS (no not en.stars knights sorryy still love them tho ^_^) GOD. IM INSANE. MAGICAL KNIGHTS WITH FLOWERS??!?!?? OUHGHHHH

heheh ok time for kiri~~ she definitely has high mobility!! aaa implementing her dancing ability into her fighting style!!!!! i think shed try to learn how to fight using a halberd at first but she finds it awkward to move around with and then she (or sm1 else helps) comes up with the idea to do what shes used to: dancing. if shes so used to moving gracefully without holding heavy things then why doesnt she just. do that ? !!!! anyway im putting her hair into a high ponytail as we speak. although im having difficulty in imagining her in armor. ill work on that.

satoo waaaa so theirs would kinda be like. immobilizing enemies? kinda?? ough interestingggggg i think their armor would be relatively light (like kiyamas) but im thinking maybeee . ok i lost the thoughts dammit its hard to think about things for sato too :((

tldr i need to draw them all. specifically i need miharu in flowy fabric and armor. with flowers. and a shield. FUCK now im thinking about hades im sorry (i am crazy ok)