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jimlingss · 4 years

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Sugar and Coffee [5]

Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 5.5 OR Chapter 6

➜ Words: 4.2k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

Life won’t give you a break. The moment midterms are complete, you have to begin preparing for finals. While the urge to bury yourself underneath your covers and pull the blanket over your head has lessened, you still don’t want to venture out into the world. But there’s no way to resist the inevitable. You can’t let your schooling go down the drain — it’s the only thing you’ve got going for yourself after all. 5:49 pm. Jungkook: where u at bitch? 5:50 pm. Y/N: im on the toilet asshole 5:50 pm. Y/N: call me a bitch again and ill kill you 5:50 pm. Jungkook: Gross tmi 5:52 pm. Jungkook: can i ask you for a favour tho pls You wash your hands after wiping, flushing and pulling up your pants. 5:54pm. Jungkook: dont leave me on read 5:55 pm. Y/N: clingy much 5:55 pm. Y/N: the hell do you want from me 5:55 pm. Jungkook: lovely as usual 5:56 pm. Jungkook: I need the notes for comm 209 You scoff as you re-read the message. He has some audacity asking for your notes for a class he skipped on a Friday afternoon, probably to hang out with his friends instead. But before you tell him to gladly ‘fuck off’, you’re stopped by an idea. He needs something from you and there’s something you need from him. Now’s the perfect opportunity. “Tempering chocolate?” “Yeah. You want to be a Master Chocolatier, right? This is a great opportunity to teach someone how to do it. They say you know your stuff when you can teach others.” Jungkook rolls his eyes at your shamelessness and how you’re trying to milk him to your advantage. “Somehow I think this far outweighs the favour of me getting your notes.” “Do you want to help me or not?” “Do I want to?” He looks unsure but gives in to your will anyways, or at least he's curious enough to hear your troubles. “What’s your issue with tempering chocolate?” “It just doesn’t temper right. There’s no snap or shine to it.” “Do you measure the temperature with a kitchen thermometer?” “Well obviously, Jeon. Noooo,” you pull out the syllable, voice dripping of sarcasm. “I dip my hand in to tell. Duh! Are you an idiot? What do you think?!” At once, Jungkook’s expression washes over, becoming impassive. He spins around on his heel to walk out the door, but you grab onto his sleeve desperately. “I’m kidding. It’s a joke. Sorry. Help me?” He shifts around to look at you. You’re busy batting your lashes with those eyes of yours, trying to appeal to him — it disgusts Jungkook instead. It makes him feel sick to his stomach that you’re trying to act cute when you’re obviously a brat in disguise. Yet somehow he finds himself in the kitchen on a late Tuesday night anyhow, despite having class early in the morning the next day. “What method do you use?” Jungkook asks with crossed arms as you pull out the right materials, silver bowls, chocolate, thermometers, and a cooking pot. “Which is easier?” “They’re all the same,” he deadpans. Jungkook’s arrogance irritates you but you’re not about to insult him and have him running out of the kitchen, so you restrain yourself and start with the seeding method. You chop the solid chocolate you have into smaller pieces while he watches you in boredom. After a minute, Jungkook pulls out his phone and scrolls through his social media so he can mentally stimulate himself and not have his brain cells dying on themselves. “Only three quarters of it goes into the bowl to be melted,” he says without looking up. If he did, it would occur to him that you’ve already got it prepared and on top of the double boiler too. “I know.” “Do you want me to help or not?” “When I ask for it.” Jungkook’s eyes flicker up. “Well didn’t you ask for my help?” “Not now, Jeon.” You sigh. It was quite profound how quickly the bastard could get under your skin for doing so little. “God, you can be so fucking—” He suddenly puts his hand up to silence you and he sniffs with that big fucking nose of his. “Why do I smell burning?” Jungkook looks over to your pot on the stove and notices it steaming oddly. You follow his line of sight and take your bowl off, hissing at how hot it is. “Careful,” he scolds and looks over. Jungkook nearly facepalms himself into a coma. “Oh my god, you forgot to add water into the double boiler?!” “It’s because you were distracting me!” you shout at him and run over to the sink to add it in. The water begins burning as it hits the hot double boiler, sizzling and smoking even more. Jungkook groans. “You’re supposed to help me, not look at your phone! Maybe I would’ve realized if you actually paid any attention!” “Fine, fine.” You add an inch of water to the double boiler. It’s an improvement. But then as it begins to steam properly with the candy thermometer in the chocolate as you agitate it with a spatula, you look down and your blood runs cold. “Oh shit.” “What?” Jungkook sighs. Frankly, it’s impressive you’ve made it this far into the program. He didn’t know you were such an idiot in the kitchen — you might as well burn the whole place down and he wouldn’t be surprised. “How’d you manage that?” You rush to grab a paper towel, trying to dab the water that got into the bowl. But Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Don’t bother. You have to start again. If you get water into the chocolate, it makes it seize and becomes unstable.” “How do you know that?!” “Do you even read your textbook?” He is appalled and you pull out the cutting board to chop chocolate all over again, starting from the beginning. Jungkook sighs, spinning around his stool as you repeat the steps and put the chocolate over the heat. “You know what the temperature needs to be, right?” “A hundred fifteen. I’m not an idiot.” “I don’t know about that,” he chimes. “You forgot to add water to a double boiler.” Your arm drops to the side, putting the spatula down. “Okay, fuck you. I haven’t seen you actually give me good advice or anything. I asked for your help, not for you to berate me.” “What advice do you need?” His brow cocks upwards. “It’s pretty self-explanatory. Just follow the procedure and you’ve got yourself tempered chocolate!” “I can’t believe I thought you could ever teach me!” you hiss at him. “You’re a condescending asshole.” “Excuse me? Guess who’s with you on a Tuesday night?! I’m an angel for helping you!” “No one asked you to!” you scream back at the top of your lungs. Jungkook scoffs. Any other time where he wasn’t being attacked, he’d recognize that you were returning to your former self, but he still doesn’t appreciate your brattiness. “Are you kidding m— God! What’s burning now?!” Him and that giant nose of his inhales and a delayed moment later, it hits you too. The both of you whirl around to where the chocolate is burning. “You forgot to stir!” “It’s not like you reminded me to! You’re a distraction!” It’s excruciating. Jungkook has a feeling he’s going to be here all night, so he helps you speed up the process. While you clean up the mess, he chops more chocolate. And this time, you both manage to get it in the bowl, stirring, without anything burning whatsoever. The chocolate goes to a hundred fifteen degrees before you remove it from the heat and add the rest of the chocolate you reserved on the side. The temperature is brought down to eighty six degrees and then you put it back on the boiler to melt it all at ninety degrees. A strip test is done, a streak of chocolate made on parchment. And for a whole two minutes, you wait for it to set. But it doesn’t. “What the hell…?” Jungkook is genuinely perplexed and finally, he gets what you’ve been talking about. “See? It just doesn’t work!” He shakes his head, refusing to admit defeat. “It must’ve increased in heat before we added the other chocolate in. Let’s try again.” The pair of you chop chocolate across from each other, silent in your determination. But when you glance up, you see Jungkook’s brows furrowed, thoughts probably lost. You don’t see him serious often — well you do, but you never paid much attention to him before. Not like now. The process is repeated. The chocolate is melted to a hundred fifteen degrees and then decreased down to eighty six as you add in the loose chocolate, and then it’s brought back up again…. But then the temperature begins climbing — faster than you and Jungkook can react. “Fuck, fuck.” The two of you help each other take the bowl off the pot in urgency and then press your burning fingers to your ears before running it under cold water. “It went to a hundred? Do you think it’ll be okay?” “I don’t know. We have to test it.” The strip test is done, but the chocolate never sets. It stays wet. Dull. “Mother fuc—” “We’ll try again,” Jungkook reassures you with a hand on your shoulder. It’s painful having to re-doing everything and going way later into the night than you initially intended. You feel like you’re being driven crazy, but you’re glad Jungkook’s here with you — you know you’re not going insane alone. You look back at your textbook and your notes, making sure you’re doing it right and you hope for the best in the next batch. “It set….but it’s so streaky.” You look up at Jungkook who’s an inch away. He hums and leans down to get a closer look. “It’s bloom. The lipids moved through the cracks of the chocolate.” “You think it’s because the kitchen’s too hot?” “Yeah, we should try to put it in the fridge to cool.” One last attempt is made. It takes twenty more minutes and then it’s put in the fridge. But after the chocolate sets, there’s no shine or snap. Jungkook finds slumped on the floor, spooning chocolate, one of the failed attempts, into your mouth. You’re hugging the silver bowl in your lap like it’s your anchor. “I give up.” It feels like you’ve gone through a thousand batches. The kitchen is an absolute mess — spatulas and tasting spoons littered on the counter, double bowlers and bowls, wasted chocolate everywhere. There’s a sink-full to wash and that alone makes you want to cry. You slurp up more chocolate in an attempt to feel better. “Fuck chocolate.” But why does it have to taste so delicious? “I don’t understand why it’s so hard,” Jungkook admits with a frown. It just doesn’t seem to work with you. “It’s not rocket science. It was fine when I did it.” “Fuck you. You’re not supposed to boast. You’re supposed to help me.” “Was the last two and a half hours not helping you?” he questions. “You just have to watch your temperatures and keep practicing.” “That’s helpful.” “Hey, I’m trying.” Jungkook pisses you off. Everything comes so easy for him. As chocolate destroys you, he’s out here wanting to be a chocolatier. But maybe it suits him — chocolate’s an asshole and so is he. “I’d like to see you try to caramelize sugar as well as I can, or better yet, pipe flowers.” The boy scoffs, looking down at you and your patheticness. You don’t even realize you have chocolate all over your mouth. “That’s easy.” “I worked at a cupcake shop for three summers.” You stand up on your feet, facing him head on. “You think you can beat me in piping flowers?” “I think I can do better than you can temper chocolate.” Jungkook smirks arrogantly, enough to push you off the edge. “Let’s bet on it then!” “Fine. How much?” You have a better idea than money. “Loser has to cover for the winner during the internship in May. Whenever the winner goes on break or makes a mistake.” He scoffs. It’s a big wager but it sounds delightful when he knows you’re going down. “Deal.” // It’s a busy Thursday, but that doesn’t stop any of you. Even after a long day of classes, sitting in lecture halls listening to theory to working in the kitchens, you find yourselves a spare kitchen space afterwards to finally put this all to rest. You won’t tell Jungkook that you practiced all of yesterday by yourself and actually got it to work once — you nearly started to cry out of happiness when the chocolate tempered. “You want me to make this?” Jungkook looks at the picture on your phone. “Yep. I made it last summer using buttercream. They’re peonies. Why? Think it’s too hard?” He scoffs. “As if. Watch, I’ll make it better than you did.” “Uh-huh. Keep talking, Jeon.” Jungkook eagerly takes on your challenge. While you take up half the kitchen, he manages the other half, and the two of you share the center island together. You get your double boiler ready, chopping up chocolate to melt while Jungkook mixes butter, vanilla, confectioner's sugar, and milk together. The fucker doesn’t even use a hand mixer. He simply uses a spoon to make it, blatantly showing off as his veins in his forearm pop. He smirks when he notices you staring and you roll your eyes. Jungkook makes a variety of colours, pastel pinks and baby blues, and puts them into the piping bag as you stir the chocolate over the heat. You focus on the numbers on your thermometer, but out of the corner of your eye, you watch him. He cuts squares of parchment, puts one on a flower stand, adds a small cone of thick buttercream to the paper, and then picks his tip. You muse that he must’ve been doing his studying when he chooses a one twenty seven tip. It’s a straight teardrop shape, and he squeezes while turning the nail wide ends towards the center, narrow end outwards. But he sighs after a moment, hands halting. It’s your turn to smirk. “Not so easy, is it?” His eyes flicker up to glare at you. “Keep a watch on that chocolate before you burn it again, brat.” You scoff, continuing to stir. You keep your heat low so the temperature climbs slowly. In the meanwhile, Jungkook switches his tip out for a one twenty and tries again. You take a glance, and it’s not too bad — still sloppier than yours and he knows it too. After a moment of frustration, he switches to a one twenty two. “You should check the consistency of that buttercream,” you sing-song. “Can’t be too stiff or soft.” “I’m fully aware.” “Are you?” You smile at him, mockingly so. “Just making sure.” Jeon Jungkook doesn’t appreciate you provoking him, but realizes it’s similar to how he treated you. It’s not his fault his forte isn’t in teaching. And yours clearly isn’t either. “A one twenty five?” You scoff. “Are you trying to make a rose or a peony?” Jungkook’s smile is stiff. “What do you suggest I use then?” “Go back to the one twenty seven tip or pick a curved teardrop shape. Also, you’re squeezing too hard too fast, muscle pig.” “I know something else I squeeze too hard too fast,” he mutters as he follows your instructions. “Go fuck yourself, Jeon.” “Didn’t need to spell it out, sweetheart, but that’s exactly what I do every night.” He smirks and you roll your eyes again. “God, you’re going to make me throw up all over my chocolate.” You take it off the heat once it reaches a hundred fifteen degrees, putting the rest of your chocolate in and mixing. You have a good feeling about this batch. Even if it’s your first try of the day too. Usually you’d rush, get too impatient, but it’s entertaining to see Jungkook struggle. Time goes by faster. You mix in your chocolate, bringing the temperature back up again, and you do a strip test when it’s all nicely melted, putting it in the fridge. All there’s left to do is wait a few minutes now. You come back, dusting your hands off, feeling confident. Meanwhile, Jungkook is still piping flowers with his thick brows furrowed, the tip of his tongue peeking out as he concentrates. “It’s taking you a while there, Jeon.” “Whatever.” He sighs, resting his hands on the counter as he rolls his neck. “You had a full three hours practicing with me on Tuesday. This is the first time in a while that I’m piping, alright? Give me a break.” “Uh-huh. All I hear are your excuses. Less talk, more work.” You grab some parchment and an icing bag he’s left abandoned in a cup. With a flower needle, you begin piping yourself to pass the time. It’s actually one of your favourite things to do — it’s therapeutic. You can listen to the sound of your own breathing and the crinkling of the piping bag while you make literal flowers from your hands. You break out of your focus to find Jungkook watching you intently. Your arm extends, showing off your flower with pride. “Pretty, right?” The icing flower has perfect ruffles and petals. It looks real, and by the expression he has, he’s already aware. Jungkook grumbles incoherently and returns back to work, making you giggle. You take another piece of parchment, but this time you steal a spatula-full of his blue icing and put it in the pink bag to make two-tone flowers. And you pipe them on, spinning the flower nail, as it comes to you with ease. You listen to the crinkling of the icing bag, your heartbeat in your own ears, the white noise of the quiet kitchen, and Jungkook’s breathing. You’re not sure what compels you, perhaps a sudden urge, but you quietly blurt— “I never stole your millie cake recipe.” “What?” His eyes flicker up and Jungkook finds you concentrating on piping, not paying him any mind. “The September incident,” you murmur out of the corner of your mouth. “I never stole your mirror glazed blueberry whatever millie cake recipe like you think I did.” Maybe you’re telling him because things are different now. You know he won’t jump down your throat and accuse you otherwise, for lying, or trying to cover yourself. Won’t denounce you. Bark out in laughter. Your relationship with Jungkook has become strange recently — you think it’s something other people would call a friendship. But you thought he should know. Just in case he still hates you for it. You know you don’t hate him so much anymore. “You threatened to go up to the Dean and expel me, remember?” Your pupils flicker up for a moment. Jungkook recalls it clearly — the confrontation in the kitchen, the fight that broke out, how you slapped him, how he was planning to do everything possible to get you expelled. How you were ostracized over the rumours for weeks until people forgot and moved on as they naturally did. But you and Jungkook never did. You always both remembered. “I went to Mrs. Ahn before she left on maternity leave. I was stuck — didn’t know what to add to my portfolio, so I asked her. And she gave me your recipe as a reference. Told me to give it a try. Gain inspiration from it.” You put your hands down, connecting your eyes with his. Jungkook is rendered speechless. “And that was when I saw you…?” “Yep. You busted into the kitchen without letting me explain and accused me of stealing your shit when I didn’t even know it belonged to you. I didn’t know you were the one who came up with it.” “Why…” He shakes his head, frowning deep enough that it hurts. “Why didn’t you say anything?” “You didn’t deserve it. The truth. I knew I was right and I was so….so mad that you could accuse me of stealing, that I could even be capable of such a thing. I wanted you to bring it up to the Dean. I wanted you to do it so you could be embarrassed when you realized what actually happened.” It’s all in the past now. Your anger doesn’t surge as much anymore, but you can still recall a time when you felt utterly enraged he could think so lowly of you — a time when Jungkook didn’t deserve your explanation, so you slapped him. In hindsight, it was probably a bad decision on your part. You escalated the situation when it didn’t need to and it spiraled out of control. You’re at fault for being rash and impulsive as much as he is. “It wasn’t like I was going to use it anyway,” you mutter with a sigh and pick up a new square of parchment to continue piping. “For inspiration or whatnot, much less add to my own portfolio. I swapped the blueberries for blackberries, and it turned out to be disgusting. I messed up on the glaze part too.” You muse, “Chocolate’s never been nice to me.” Jungkook absolutely baffled. Bewildered. All of this hatred against each other was caused by a misunderstanding. All of it which could’ve been avoided. “I—” “Wow, are you kids practicing your techniques?” Miss. Kang is at the door, visibly impressed as she regards you both. “And here I was on my way home. You two are so diligent! And look at you both working together like this! I always knew you put your differences aside and be friends.” “You have great timing, Miss. Kang.” You smile at her. “Jungkook and I were just having a friendly contest. Would you like to be our judge?” “Sure. I think I can spare a moment or two.” She steps in, looking around. “What are we doing here? Looks like someone was tempering chocolate and you’re….piping! Goodness, me. Did you make those, Y/N? They’re very lovely.” “Thank you.” You grin, beaming from the praise of your piping skills. “But the contest was me tempering chocolate against Jungkook piping.” You move over to the fridge, taking out the metal tray with your strip test. You hand it to her, and she hums. “Very shiny, and it slides right off the parchment!” she exclaims. For the final examination, the young female teacher bends the chocolate and it audibly snaps. You could burst out into cries of happiness. “Looks tempered to me.” You look over at Jungkook, head quirked to the side, wearing a big smile that’s infectious enough to make him grin too. “Here’s my piping.” He places the parchment on the counter and she leans over to study it, humming. “Not too bad, Jungkook. A little messy around the edges, but I’d say a job well done. If this was an actual exam, I’d give you full marks.” Jungkook cocks a brow towards you, sly smirk on his face. You step forward. “So which is better?” “Well, it’s very difficult to judge on tempering chocolate and piping since they’re two completely different things. I’d say it was equal.” “If you had to pick one?” you ask, desperate for a winner to be proclaimed. Miss Kang hums a long note. You and Jungkook are put in suspense, anticipating her final decision. She taps her chin, deciding to chew on your chocolate as she studies the flower. Finally, the teacher nods. “I can’t complain about the chocolate — it’s a hundred percent tempered. But I can say the piping needs a little more work, so…” “I win!” You give Jungkook a cheeky grin causing him to scoff lightly. “It was a stroke of luck.” “Keep telling yourself that, Jeon.” “It’s a tie,” he insists, “She said only if she had to pick.” “That’s true.” Miss. Kang backs him up before you can retort. But you still pout. “Sore loser. I win and you know it.” “Hmmm.” Jungkook playfully shakes his head. “Don’t think so. Let’s just call it even, Y/N.” “Nuh-uh. That’s not how it works!” The pair of you argue back and forth — yet there’s no real malice. It’s simply banter and it causes Miss. Kang to laugh. She bids her farewell and quips that you both better get the kitchen clean. In the end, Jungkook compromises. He still insists it’s a tie but he does the hard work of cleaning the dishes and you give into his will. As you prepare the mop water, he scrubs the bowls. “I’m sorry,” Jungkook pipes up after a second of quiet contemplation. He turns his head to look at you. “For the misunderstanding.” “You don’t have to be sorry.” You divert your vision elsewhere. “Not anymore. You’ve given me more reasons to be thankful. So we’ll call this even.” Jeon Jungkook smiles softly. “Deal.”

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook baking AU #jungkook baking!AU #btsboulangerie #Y'ALL THE FLUFF AND UWU IS SO MUCH I CAN BARELY TAKE IT

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growingingreenwood · 4 years

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Hey I start college this week any advice? Hope all is well you are amazing!

Omg good job!! That's so exciting!!!! Alrighty, I have a bachelor’s degree and now i'm working on my Rec Therapy Degree so I’ve had like 5 and a half years of college/university experience so hopefully at least something here will be helpful for you.

What are you going to collage to take?

One- Try to sit in the front of of the lecture hall

Classes will probably be a lot bigger than you’re used to and many people find this intimidating. I used to sit at the very back of lecture halls because I hated having to walk past rows of people, but you know what? My grades suffered for it. I’m an easily distracted human being with crippling ADHD and so being able to see everybody's computer screen was a nightmare for me. Half the class was watching movies or playing games or whatever so I didn't hear a damn word my teacher said. The closer I was to the front, the less distracting it was for me. Plus, I find that when I’m more familiar with being closer to my teachers it's easier and less intimidating for me to ask them for help or to re-explain things.

Two- Don’t be embarrassed, everybodys a mess and other people have your question.

The colleges I’ve been to have been nothing like highschool. We’re all in this together, we’re a suffering squad okay. So if you're too tired to ‘look good’ SICK half your class probably has not showered in like five days. Have a question that you think might make sound dumb? I can literally assure you that other people have the same question and pray somebody else will ask it. All of you are confused, it's okay.

Three - BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS USED!!!!!

Oh my god I cannot stress this enough. For some reason professores and schools are out here hustling textbooks like starving soundcloud rappers. We don’t need that shit. Your school probably has a facebook group or two where students are selling their old textbooks much cheaper than you could get them in bookstores. And when I mean cheaper, I mean by like 100 - 200 dollars. If you're on a physical campus, lots of people put lists of what books they're selling on their lockers so keep an eye out for flyers as well.

Four - Join a club!

One of the things I really love about college is all the low pressure social situations. There's literally tons of clubs at most universities rankings from really open (First Year Social Club!!) to ridiuclously niche (We All Play Super Smash Brothers In Full Costume Once A Month) so its a great place to start when it comes to making new friends and finding some cool stuff to do!

Five - Don’t fall for the ‘too cool’ trap.

Lots of people have endless fun in college (like me) and some people really, really hate it. Personally, I think it has a lot to do with your attitude about being there. There's tons of pep rallies, carnivals, festivals and whatever else held by your school that can actually be super fun to attend but many people think they're ‘too cool’ for things like that. Don’t fall into this trap, I can assure you those that went to the events had like 9 billion times more fun.

Six - ASK FOR THE HELP THAT YOU NEED

This lesson took me so long to learn, but it was life changing once I did learn it. There's tons of resources available to you though most universities, and most of it was probably paid for through your tuition so it makes no sense to NOT access these things. See what your school offers for counseling services, stress reduction, learning activities held in the library, financial aid, make use of your teachers office hours, things like that. Crawl through your school’s website and see what they have to offer you, you can get some really really good life advice sometimes. If you’re falling behind in school work and need an extension, ask for it. Literally the worst thing that can happen is your teacher telling you ‘no.’ Which, honestly, in my near six years of schooling has literally only happened once and it was because the teacher personally didn’t like me.

Seven -- C’s Get Degrees

School Burnout Is REAL, she is sneaky, and she will hit you when you least expect it. I really struggle with having too high of expectations of myself when it comes to my work/life balance. This is the only year that I haven't worked at least 20 hours a week on top of full time university education and that only because of COVID and my immune issues, however for some reason I always expect myself to do like 3 - 4 hours of homework a day. Which is lunacy. At least it is for me. I literally cannot even count how many times I’ve put my grades before my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing. How many times I’ve forced myself to keep studying when I knew that I had already surpassed my limit hours ago because I thought that getting an A was more important than anything else. Especially myself. That’s not true.

You weren’t put on this earth to get straight A’s, you were put on this earth to be the best you that you can be.

So sometimes, you really do just gotta accept that ‘C’s get Degrees’ and you gotta close your textbook, go paint your nails, call your friend, and go to bed.

Eight -- Everything Can Be A Learning Experience

There are endless things to learn at college, and most of them aren't what the teachers are telling you. College is where I first learned that it really isn’t the end of the world to fail sometimes. It happens, it happens to everyone, but there's always something to learn from every ‘failure’ and part of it is how you can better handle failures in the future. It teaches you how to work with people, share ideas, and grow in your self-confidence. If you take the time to self-reflect when you find yourself struggling in aspects of your life in college, you can really learn a lot about yourself and how you present.

It was through self-reflecting on some of my peer interactions that I realized my vocabulary was creating a rift between me and them, as several people as it as a way of me purposefully trying to make myself seem ‘better’ or ‘more educated’ when in reality I just forget a lot of simple words and end up using some ridiculous monstrosity in casual sentences. The more I made that known about myself in interactions, and mentioning how much I read, helped my interactions because it helped people to better understand WHY I speak that way. This lesson has continued to help me throughout my life.

Nine -- Missing Lectures is a Slippery Slope

My attendance rate was already a lost cause by the time I got to University (my highschool almost didn't let me graduate because I had an 87% absentee rate and something like 300 missed detentions but I was 1 of 3 Full Honors Students and they wanted the funding so they ecentually let me lol) but I have watched many a student crawl into this 'Chronic Skipping' pit with me in my years. Im not really sure why it happens, but basically as soon as you miss 2 lectures for no concrete reason (like a dentist appointment or cause your sick or something) it's game over for you. You'll miss two classes, then three, then four, then 2 a week, then 3 a week. Then you start skipping other subjects too. Then you end up like me and suddenly its the end of the term and you realize you've only attended 4 entire classes, one of which was the first day and the other 3 were exams. (True story, that was my 8am Political Science Class in my second year)

I hope this helps somewhat!!!! Let me know if you have any specific questions!

And thank you lovely, I’m chugging along doing my best trying to get back into my creative bubble which for some reason seems to be rather elusive and hard to track down thus far.

#not tolkien #momma tolkien #tolkien mom things #collage tips #tips for collage #tips for university #answered asks #haleigh speaks

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chiwoopsie · 6 years

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That tag where I answer 10 questions and ask 10 more :)

tagged by the great @s-lay-ing (I couldn’t not answer your questions hehe thank you thank you!)

i wanna get to know some new peeps so i’ll tag @scoupsadaisy @yayayaimma @bbaksu @sebongteen-trash (only if you want to ofc!)

My 10 Questions For You

top 3 songs you would recommend to a non-kpopper

What is your 2019 resolution, if you have any?

Last thing you ate?

Song/MV that got you into the kpop

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and with who?

Favorite thing to do when you have a day off

What would you give your bias(es) for Christmas?

You won the lottery! Who would be the first person you tell?

Sweet or savory?

If you saw your favorite group on the street, what would you do?

1. Is there something you would change about t*mblr?

WHAT A WELL TIMED QUESTION but i’m going with my pre-community guidelines answer to make this short >> i’m agreeing with cloud about letting sideblogs send asks bc why isn’t that a thing?? and just the whole mobile app in general lol..like why can’t i see my tags in some of my posts and why can i never post things without running into an error message on there :// OH YEAH and can it not delete my links when i edit my description on mobile? thanks

2. Your parents/siblings/very close friends get offered a tour around europe with no cost for a month or so and they ask you to come w/ them. Considering your current status, what would you do?

Well I’m graduating uni in a couple months so if we could go then, I would be very down! But I would also probably feel the anxiety of needing a job and financial stability throughout the whole trip rip Also I don’t think I could travel w/ my parents rn bc we did go to europe for a while this summer and although I love my them a lot, I would rather travel with my sister or my friends for the time being :)

3. Your fam/dorm decides to do a garage sale. Within a quick look into your room, what would you give up for sale?

My college textbooks

4. In your personal opinion (aka not based on the trend or whatever), name artist of the year, song of the year, video of the year, album of the year.

Artist of the Year- MONSTA X

MX IS HAVING THEIR M O M E N T RIGHT NOW and korea needs to pay attention! LIKE THEY RELEASED THREE (2 KOREAN, 1 JAPANESE) ALBUMS THAT ARE A++ WITH BOMBASS MVS/TITLE TRACKS, PROMOTING THEMSELVES LITERALLY EVERYWHERE WITH THE WORLD TOUR AND NOW JINGLE BALL AND ARE DOING IT WITH SO MUCH ENTHUSIASM EVEN THOUGH THEY MUST BE SUPER EXHAUSTED FROM WORKING NONSTOP THIS YEAR. And not to be that person but seeing them last year and then this year in concert really hit it home for me how much they’ve improved as artists and performers (not that they were bad to begin with) so in an ideal world, I would give a big award to Monsta X ❤❤

Song of the Year- Shine by Pentagon (lol sorry cloud)

it was a debate btwn shine or love scenario for me but shine did a lot more for pentagon’s popularity and name recognition than love scenario for ikon i think (since ikon already had ~ikonic~ songs like my type, rhythm ta, etc). The song itself is cute and really easy to get stuck in your head but not in an annoying way?? Plus the choreo made the hammer dance a thing (at least in my mind) and the way it rose up on the korean charts was p cool :)

Video of the Year- Help Me by NU’EST W

ugghhh so many candidates but the help me mv floored me with the overall visuals and cinematography and someone pls tell me that im not the only one who thought of minhyun when the door opened in the last scene lmao

Album of the Year- Love Yourself: Answer

I was late listening to it but after I got started, it was literally on repeat for at least a month. Just the way the album’s organized after ‘起承轉結’ makes the flow of songs from one to another is so perfect and all the songs were so good and it’s just really great 💗

5. Do you have a hobby/personal custom of yours?

uhm i read? that’s like the most boring hobby ever but i have been reading more lately than i have done over the last couple years, although I still have trouble finishing them..But I’m currently reading a book about the rise of China’s noveau riche and basically how capitalism functions in a country ruled by the Communist Party and no one wants to know how nerdy you are megan so just say you like reading and move on to the next question

6. Name the most a mischievous thing you’ve done

i dont do mischievous things OKAY BUT FORREAL I HAVE A REALLY BAD MEMORY WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS SO NOTHING IS COMING TO MIND RN :0000

7. a kpop group/artist you WISH comes off hiatus in 2019?

f(x) and i’ll throw in pristin (ALL OF THEM) for good measure

8. recommend me ten songs

(i don’t think we have the same tastes rip but here’s basically the songs that didn’t make it on #11 😅)

loved by highlight

one of those nights (feat. crush) by key

right now by amber

regular (english version) by nct 127

april fool’s by jimin (jamie) park

gone by changsub

lady by exid

roller coaster by chungha

piece of peace, pt. 1 by j-hope

no gravity (piano version) by yoon mirae

9. is there a fandom related activity you wish you were good at?

hmm i’m really curious how ppl do gfx actually..like they’re always so pretty and creative and i’m always in awe but i don’t think i have the artistic mind for it. Also, writing fics is also something I respect and lowkey wish I was good at (even tho I never tried lol) since I find the process of transmitting my thoughts onto paper really difficult and it takes me forever to write stuff in general

10. a kp*p song from this year that everyone swears on but you’re not that on board with it

favorite by loona?? i know a lot of ppl here on the tumbles love loona but their style of music doesn’t really hit it for me..

11. top 10 kpop songs of 2018?

in no particular order:

boss by nct u

la vie en rose by iz*one

countless by shinee

running to you by seventeen

destroyer by monsta x

trivia:seesaw by bts

i’m so sick by apink

just do it by booseoksoon

she’s in the rain by the rose

bad boy by red velvet

#wHERE IS YOUR TAG #thanks cloud~#so many song related questions i love

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eriquebittle · 7 years

Note

You should do holsom for that 31 questions thing like do all of them

here we fucking go,

1. Who in your OTP is the serial butt-slapper and who is constantly getting their beautiful butt slapped?

theyre equal opportunity bros...if ur bf gets a killer shot at beer pong or aces his chem exam you have to slap his butt it's the Bro Code

2. Who wants to be immortal and who wants to die before they’re old?

they had a conversation about this at 2am and they both decided that they would pick the same option ("i never wanna live without you bro" "BRO") however, holster has tried to get his poptart out of the toaster with a fork three different times so dying young seems likely

3. Who smokes and who pulls the cigarette from between their lips every time they try to light one?

i mean they're college athletes so neither of them smoke but i bet holster tried it once freshman year and ransom had to run back to his dorm to find his inhaler

4. Who always has cold hands and who is always warming them up for them?

ransom's hands are freezing and holster breathes on em and gives them kisses 2 keep them warm

5. Who plays candy crush in important meetings and who elbows them in the ribs to make them pay attention?

when they have a lecture together they just snapchat each other uglie badly-angled selfies

6. Who can fall asleep anywhere (and does) and who has to put them to bed?

ransom is forced to survive on three hours of sleep during finals so he passes out mid-conversation and holster sets an alarm and rolls him into bed so they can nap together

7. Who is the genius procrastinator who wings every test but still comes away with straight As, and who takes preparation and conscientious work very seriously?

justin "4.0 but never goes to class" oluransi, a beautiful coral reef, is a strange combination of both, holster has seen his textbooks maybe twice this semester and manages B's

8. Who takes their coffee black and who likes it with milk and two sugars, getting called a pussy by Person A?

ransom gets his with like six sugars and holster has been drinking black coffee since he was 6

9. Who initially seems shady but turns out to be a cinnamon bun, and who initially seems like a cinnamon bun but turns out to be shady?

not so much "shady" as douchey? initally they come off looking like the "you kno i had to do it to em" guy but theyre just two Bros....in love....who don't know how to be quiet in the library

10. Who moans and talks with their mouth full whenever they eat good food, and who tells them to stfu but can’t help laughing?

do i even need 2 say it,

11.Who gives the bear hugs and who is always sidling up to them and snaking their arms around their waist?

ransom gives the Best Hugs and holster is a fucking giant who loves sneaking up behind his bf and resting his head on his shoulder and giving him. a smooch

12. Who still buys juice boxes and fruit snacks to put in their lunch?

whenever they go to stop & shop they stock the fuck up on gushers and capri suns “bro. as a future doctor? this is not how two college athletes should be fueling our bodies. fuck it throw in a few more boxes of gushers”

13. Who packs the other’s lunch and who repays them in sexual favours?

ransom has an 8am lab and forgets to bring food, and holster is happy 2 oblige to bring him his granola bar after ransom punctuates his text asking for lunch with a bunch of eggplant emojis

14. Who leaves notes in the other’s lunch and who tells them they’re dumb (but secretly has a collection of every note Person A has ever written them)?

holster leaves notes in ransoms bag a lot when he knows he’s getting really stressed out, and ransom keeps them in a shoebox under his bed and reads them when he needs to calm down

15. Who unconsciously holds their breath the first time they kiss, and who pulls back and says, “Breathe…”?

ransom holds his breath because holy fuck? hes about to make out with his best bro? and theyre sober this time? and whatififuckitupandourdmanmagicisgoneforeverandwenevermaekeitpastthefirstroundeveragainohmygodijustruinedsamwellmenshockeyforever and holster is like “breathe. can we just make out now please”

16. Who gets arrested for a petty crime they committed by accident and who bails them out?

holster gets arrested for jumping into the fountain at the mall on a dare, ransom bails him out

17. Who grabs the other’s hand just as they’re getting out of bed and pulls them back under for cuddles?

ransom has early classes and holster grabs him and rolls over on him so he’s trapped under a 200 lb d man who just wants to spoon a little bit longer

18. Who gets mad about something unrelated to Person B and punches the wall, and who patches it up and kisses it better?

holster trips over his desk chair and accidentally puts his fist through the wall, Doctor Justin kisses it until the throbbing is gone

“is this gonna affect my handjob game, doctor?”

19. Who has the plain black phone case and who ordered one with cat ears off ebay?

ransom has a black one that he coated in stickers, holster bought the cat ear one by mistake but just decided to own it

20. Who likes to drive with the music blaring and who is too shy to sing along?

holster has a 500 song driving playlist that includes every banger in the discography of one direction, and neither of them are shy about singing along at maximum volume

21. Who’s the fantastic kisser and who has the beautiful eyes?

they both insist that the other one has both and get into fights over whose eyes are prettier and who kisses better

22. Who has the sunshine smile and who has the seductive gaze?

ransom defo has that killer smile, but holster has a resting bitch face and when he tries to look Seductive he looks tired and mad hfdjfhwhgfwb

23. Who gets offended by the intensity of the other’s crush on a celebrity?

UMMMMM justin “ransom” oluransi mashkov is in love with tater and holster has learned to accept that if given the chance, ransom would leave him for tater in 0.000007 seconds

“babe would you really leave me for mashkov”

“you know i would but ill always remember you”

“ ;___;”

dex: “can you guys not do this in the facebook group chat”

24. Who is embarrassed that they have to wear glasses sometimes and who wants them to wear them in bed?

ransom has a slight stigmatism but he mostly wears contacts, holster falls asleep in his glasses and when ransom tells him to take them off during sex holsters like “but how else am i gonna see your beautiful face bro”

25. Who cheats on the other then immediately begs for their forgiveness?

“you do this every fucking time and im tired of it”

“justin im so fucking sorry ill never do it again i promise”

“no im done playing monopoly with you dude you sneak extra money into your pile every time im sick of it”

26. Who is the jealous one and asks why the other was being so flirty all night, and who is oblivious to their own charms?

everyone has a crush on ransom and he doesnt see it, holster has the worst fucking game in history but he loves his boyfriends personality and every relationship needs to be built on trust, bro

27. Who orders a milkshake with their food and who orders a soda?

holster orders a milkshake for the sole purpose of asking ransom if its gonna bring all the boys to the yard

28. Who runs their battery down to 1% and who feels the need to charge theirs at 80%?

ransom takes care of his phone like its his child, holster hasnt seen a charger in three days and keeps the brightness up to 10000 so its constantly dead

29. Who has the excellent singing voice and is always singing around the house (and for Person B), but has no interest in going professional?

holster regularly belts out les mis aroud the haus, ransom joins him occasionaly but leaves most of it to adam

30. Who would rather be barefoot if the setting is appropriate, and who has the huge and spectacular shoe collection (possibly also socks)?

when holster is anywhere he considers himself comfortable his feet are BARE, ransom has a sock collection a la spencer from icarly

31. Who takes their liquor on the rocks and who likes it neat?

holster orders on the rocks so he can chew on the ice with his massive horse teeth, ransom orders it neat but 99% of the time theyre drinking its at a kegster so they mainly just drink tub juice and natty light. classy

#if u read all the way to the end: bless u #thanks anon!!!!#ask games #anon #answered #message in a bottle

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kappasigmalife · 7 years

Text

Eternal Purgatory: Chp 3 first impressions aren’t always key

As chris opens the door to what he believes his is his room, he catches a glimpse of two girls making out on a bed. Shocked chris looks at the door only to see that its Paul’s room and his is next door labeled as 2. Paul goes up and tells him to knock before opening anything only for chris to stare dead in his eyes.

“Really, I wasn’t even told what my room was, but yes I must say I probably should of knocked before seeing what I can only assume is a paranormal three-way with your friends over here.” Paul looks at chris and tells him to go get some rest before someone or something sets him off. Chris likes to reiterate that after the shit he saw there isn’t anything that can tick him off again. Paul takes his phone out and sends chris a pic telling him to enjoy the view. As Chris opens the pic message his eyes begin bleeding dropping the phone and nearly vomiting asking what shit Paul always plans for.

“PAUL, YOU SICK FUCK, WHAT IS THAT?”

Paul responds that he prepared for just the occasion in case Chris was gonna be dick to him.

“that picture, is robbys ass, have fun with that image, in the mean time, I got two girls to please.” Paul closes his door leaving chris to question everything that just transpired and then looks at his phone again, this time a close up of a blonde hairy ass, making chris look away and run to the kitchen. He starts tearing it apart muttering to himself.

“come one, where is it, where is it, god knows I really need it.” Reefer walks in and asks Chris what he’s doing tearing apart the cabinets. Chris explains that paul sent him some pics and he trying to find the bleach to wash his eyes out with. Reefer just looks and contemplates the images in his head.

“trust me Chris, nothing will ever get that image out, to this day I still see them in my eyes.”

Chris looks away and finds a bottle of rum which he partakes in about 5 heavy shots before going to his room to sleep. All the while he cant seem to get any shut eye cause of Paul’s incessant snoring, while looking at his phone getting more pics of Robby’s ass. The following morning he wakes up to find Helen making coffee ready for the first day of their classes, as it turns out they will be taking western civilization with professor Thucydides and Chris remarks how it might as well be a poetry class.

“the freaking guy always overdid it on the context of history, it sounds like a terrible movie rather than historical events transpiring, he talks about feelings and imagery, whereas the only thing that matters is who they are, what they do, and why their important, I mean can we please just…. Oh my god im too fucking tired for this.”

Helen looks at him curious why he should have some coffee before Robby comes in taking some fro himself.

“Listen Chris, it’ll be okay, you got your brains and you rock in history and literature classes, I bet by the end of the semester every student will my begging to get help from you.” Robby interjects saying that Chris can’t be that smart if he died in a freezer, cracking jokes at his expense.

“What’s the matter, a little frostbite hurt your feelings, lighten up Chrisper, it’s just purgatory, we know full well that your death was from stupidity.” Paul appears out of Robby’s phone grabbing the coffee in his hands and cracking back at him

“Yeah see robby, that’s where your wrong, cause you died watching a marathon of one piece from beginning to end, all 700 episodes and without sleep.” Chris just stares at robby

“So you died cause you were a weaboo and had no life, good to hear, now I’m grabbing coffee then heading to campus, don’t want to be late.” Chris heads out the door walking to campus as Paul sends more pictures of Robby’s ass to him, this time chris admires them knowing that each angle is different almost like they were posed. Although the admiration is nice, chris once again bumps into a chubby goth kid Chris embarrassed apologizes and looks and sees it’s the same person from orientation.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to do that again.” The boy just glares at him looking at the spilled coffee all over him.

“Thanks again for ruining my clothes, guess im doing to class looking like a slob.” Chris looks at the massive stain of coffee and scratches his head, then pulls out a black zip up fleece he got from his room in case it got too chilly in the morning.

“it might be snug but itll be better than the stained wear you got on, go ahead and keep it I got others at home, im late for class.”

The boy looks at the sweatshirt and puts it on commenting its labeled a XL, even though Chris looks no more than a large. He gets to campus and sits in the back of the classroom seeing Chris sitting next to Helen and sees the teacher approach him.

Professor Thucydides asks chris to help some of the students in the class considering his talkent in life for history and note taking, although chris agrees he looks back as the boy ducks in his books as the teacher calls his name.

“BRENDAN, you again forget that this is western civilization, not eastern drama, get the right textbook.” Brendan looks around embarrassed by everyone laughs with students making comments around him

“way to call out the new kid, like he didn’t fit in already.” “no wonder he sits in the back, trying not to be noticed by the crowds.” “I heard he was a transfer from a different country, whats he doing up here.” As Brendan tries making an attempt to give a reason for not having the right book (he actually forgot to buy it), chris raises his hand and tries explaining.

“professor that was my fault actually, as I was walking I failed to put my phone down while walking and bumped into Brendan on the way to class, I spilled my coffee all over his book and it got ruined, I will ensure he gets a replacement from my own pocket.”

Thucydides apologies to Brendan and tells Chris to be careful around the campus as many will not watch where they go. The class begins the tale of the discovery of rome made by the brothers Remus and Romulus which chris finds more fascinating than everyone. helen nudging him calling him out as a history nerd.

“seriously its just history you read about this all the time, whats the difference between this and now.”

chris responds with a glimmer in his eyes and a smile on his face.

“hey I’m passionate about mythology and lore, its my favorite thing about class.” Brendan looks at the board and rolls his eyes knowing full well that the textbook is totally wrong.

“oh right yes Romulus was the eldest and remus was the little brother, they conqurored rome cause of a wolf mother breastfeeding them, what a load of shit.”

Thucydides looks at Brendan and asks if he said something was wrong.

Brendan looks at him and tells him the history is wrong and that none of that stuff was accurate to the true history that happened.

“There’s no way that all happened its makes no sense at all and I should know im…. Im adept at knowing this stuff.”

He covers his mouth and hears Chris from the back.

“what were you there or something, these are mythical werewolves controlling the elements, the only way to know for sure would either be to have been there or you were blood related, which I highly doubt considering the amount of humans in the world.”

Brendan slumps in his chair and looks at the tag on the fleece chris gave him.

“oh his names chris, like the patron saint of travelers, I gottaa ay, you’re a nerd, but you have a hell of a smile.” The student next to him looks at him in a state of shock.

Brendan responds to his look.

“uh what’s your deal?”

“dude, you’ve been talking to yourself the entire time class has been going on, we heard everything you just said.” Brendan shuts his mouth and rushes out the classroom with chris looking back as he looks at a roster of students he going be tutoring during the semester.

“Oh he’s going to be a peach isn’t he.”

As chris starts walking out a young man comes up asking if he wants to join him for a coffee at the blue moon café down the road from campus. Chris obliges and looks at his watch, he rushes out to find Brendan to give him notice of his tutoring. Brendan looks at himself in the mirror and notices his eyes turning.

“shit no no no, I thought the drops worked, fucking pharmacy always has to screw me.”

He hears chris calling his name coming into the restroom and ducts into a stall as chris walks in looking for him.

“hey dude, I know you probably had Gregory hall food for breakfast, but I wanted to let you know im gonna be tutoring you, so don’t get so worked up okay, I’ll help with your preparedness.” “Yeah sure, just let me dump in peace.” Chris rolls his eyes and walks out.

That evening chris is preparing for his coffee dressing cleanly but knowing its just something small. Paul remarks hes getting worked up over nothing and that he should be chill like he is. Chris remarks that Paul is far from chill this morning.

“those 180 ass shots of Robby beg to differ, talk about vindictive.” Paul just looks at him and retorts that there could have been worse stuff.

“Trust me I could of done so much worse, you got off easy.” Chris shrugs it off and goes to the blue moon café to meet the young man a little muscular with a blonde goatee. Chris sits down and orders a hazelnut coffee done light with plenty of creamer, while the young man has a simple iced coffee with milk. The two sit down and talk with the young man looking at this phone.

“so I hear you’re a new kid but got tons of talent in class work, that impressive.” Chris smiles thanking him for the compliment trying to change the subject.

“Yeah always was a good student but I don’t normally like talking about class on a date, so where are you from.” The boy dodges the question immediately saying that Chris could be a big help to the class if he shared notes. Chris looks at him with his eye brow raised stating that he thinks people should copy their own notes rather than be explicit and copy everything else just to pass.

“if people want my help they can sign up for tutoring, if anything else its going to help raise the grade standard and I get paid more.” The young boy opens his mouth saying.

“look ill make it worth your while, im sure you haven’t had any in a long time, so help me with homework and ill give you some payment another way.” Chris gets upset and responds with a standard scowl

“you mean your offering sex, for grades, uh yeah no thanks I thought you wanted me for me, not my grades.” The boy responds

“well I wouldn’t go for you anyway, your plain and country is a terrible look in general, I need meat on bones firm and tight, glistening hair and well you don’t got that, but I need grades so what do you think.” Chris stands up taking his coffee.

“so your looking for prince charming in a world of mediocrity, good luck with that, and also I got more value in myself not to whore out for grades, you want that, talk to Gilgamesh, later.” chris goes home and straight to the kitchen getting a drink all the while paul coming in asking what happened. When he explains paul jokes about already knowing and rolls a joint for the two to share on the front porch.

Brendan looks out his window contemplating why Chris defended him twice that day and sniffs his fleece as his eyes change colors.

“mmmm, he smells like hazelnut.”

#lgbtpride #lgbt #eternal purgatory #love #college

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funnynewsheadlines · 5 years

Text

83 Jokes That People With Different Jobs Are Completely Sick Of Hearing

There’s no perfect job. Every single occupation, no matter how fascinating, glamorous or well-paying, has certain downsides. But sometimes, that downside is rather unexpected — humor!

Whatever job you might have, you’re bound to have heard at least one incredibly bad dad joke related to your occupation. Maybe the first time you heard one of these jokes, you actually rolled on the floor laughing. The second time, you laughed out loud but no more than that. The third time, you chuckled. The fourth time, you smiled. But after hearing the same joke for the fifth time, all the joy and wonder was most likely gone from you by that point. And the same jokes just keep on coming.

So here is a list of the best silly jokes that people in different professions are absolutely sick of hearing. Upvotes your faves, share with your friends, and keep on scrolling. Oh, and we’d be delighted to know if you’ve heard any corny, cheesy or dad-like jokes related to your job — so share your experience with everyone somewhere in the comments!

Mail carrier here. "You can keep the bills !" hur hur hur

"So, what's the matter with you?" "You tell me, you're the doctor!"

Selling lottery tickets. Im like what numbers would you like? Everyone be like “the winning ones”. Bruh

Since starting my job as a writer at Bored Panda, I’ve heard variations of three dad jokes related to my occupation. People tend to ask me if I write about pandas all day. Furthermore, they ask me if I’m bored at my job. And lastly, they wonder if we have any pet pandas at the office. The answers to those, in order, are: No, but I write about cats and dogs a lot; I’m having too much fun to be bored; and we don’t have any pandas (yet), but we’ve got doggos! In fact, there’s a huge dog right next to me at the time of writing, and it’s awesome.

I'm a veterinarian. Some clients do actually say "if you really loved animals, you'll treat them for free right?"

I'm obligated to ask those visiting my work place if they have any weapons to declare. "Just these guns!" flex

I work in a call center. I have to ask "was there anything else I could help you with" at the end of the call. -"Yes bring me a coffee with that" -"make the sun shine again" -"got the winning lottery numbers?" -"yeah. What's your number you have a sexy voice" I just ignore them now and wish them a good day

Now, I actually enjoy hearing corny jokes like these. But I appreciate that people working different jobs eventually run out of patience. Like customs workers who keep on hearing ‘I wish’ when they ask people if they have more than 10,000 dollars cash on them. Or repairmen who hear ‘do I get a new one’ when they can’t fix a small problem on a client’s computer. And we can’t forget about nurses who take your blood and are absolutely exasperated after being called a ‘vampire’ for the thousandth time.

"Giving out any free samples today?" Sir, if I did that, it's a bank robbery.

Vet tech here. Whenever I take a patient’s temperature: “Aren’t you going to at least buy her dinner first?”

the lady that draws my blood said that she was tired of people calling her a "Vampire"

Humor is one of the best things in the entire world because it helps us relax, increases our lifespan, helps us bond with other people, allows us to see the world in a different light, and helps us stop taking both ourselves and life far too seriously.

#10

I serve banquets. I’ve had many middle aged men say the same exact joke to me when serving their Cream of Chicken with Wild Rice “How do you tame wild rice?” I usually play along but the last time it happened I told him the answer and he was [frikkin] bewildered.

#11

I worked at a branch campus library for my alma mater: "What do you mean you haven't read this book to tell me what it's about? What do you even do it here all day?" Not read obscure textbooks about topics I'm not required to study, that's for sure. When I worked at a winery: "This must be the best job in the world! (read: you get to sit and drink wine all day)" Yeah because I'm totally allowed to guzzle half the stock while I'm on duty. /s When I worked as housekeeping in a hospital: "Can you come do that at my house?" I don't even do this at my house, so no. When I worked for the post office: "You can keep the bills!"/"Bring me anything good today?"/"Is there a check for a million dollars in there?" No thanks./I don't know, I didn't open it./How tf should I know that? And my husband the teacher gets a lot of "Summers off must be nice, huh?" or "Must be nice to only have to work nine months out of the year, right?"

#12

I'm in ultrasound. We do a hell of a lot more than just scanning pregnant people, but we get a lot of people who ask, "Is it a boy or a girl? HAHAHA" during abdominal and vascular studies.

However, humor in modern times is no longer free from intense scrutiny, as some individuals believe that the freedom of expression doesn’t extend to stand-up comedy, for fear of somebody being insulted. Louis CK, Dave Chappelle, and Bill Burr are examples of legendary comedians who have spent their entire lives poking fun at society, injustice, and hypocrisy, wherever these might be found. And yet, they have received a large amount of criticism for some of the jokes they made recently because they drew attention to some uncomfortable details about living in the 21st century. Whether you enjoy these comedians or think that their humor is crass, wouldn’t you say that the freedom to express your thoughts on stage is important to protect?

#13

I recently went through US Customs and the officer asked me the standard "do you have cash more than $10,000 on you?" question. I responded: "I wish! HURHURHUR" Her response: "If I had a penny for everyone who cracked that joke in front of me, I'd have the $10,000 by now" ...I totally deserved that.

#14

As a church musician, I've heard things like: "How does it feel to have the largest organ in town?"

#15

“I just want a BLACK. COFFEE. None of this crap-u-she-no chocolate unicorn frap-aye glitter [crap]. Just a medium black COFFEE. I don’t care what size you call it but whatever’s MEDIUM I want THAT” Like ok u could also try “medium black coffee please”...

Stand-up comedy on stage is one thing, but offensive jokes at the office can be a big no-no, depending on company rules. If you’re ever in a situation where a colleague tells a completely inappropriate joke, then there are several things that you can do.

#16

I work in IT. Any time something breaks on the computer it's "Hehe, oh no, guess I have to go home!" Every. Single. Time.

#17

I work in IT. "Should I just... tUrN iT oFf AnD oN aGaIn?!". Yes, yes you should.

#18

Pizza delivery. If you happen to pass by anyone else at all on your way to the customer, they will say "You can just leave that right here ha ha ha."

According to Small Business, you can ask your co-worker to explain the joke to you, so that they understand why it might be inappropriate. Then, if your colleague doesn’t get it, straight-up tell them in a calm, collected manner that you think what they said was offensive. You can also refuse to laugh at similar jokes.

#19

I work in an office, and the boss often leaves me in charge if he’s away. I have one co-worker who, every time I’m covering, will arrive in the morning and say “Hi boss! Since you’re in charge— can we all go home now? Hurr hurr” That, and “are you working hard? Or hardly working?”

#20

Administrative worker here, not from customers, but from literally anyone that doesn't work in an office, "so you get paid to do nothing? '

#21

Bike (bicycle) messenger. 'You're on a bike ? This should be delivered before next week, hurr hurr'. Also every year during the Tour De France : "You're lost buddy ?" All f*cking day long.

As a last resort, if your co-worker keeps on throwing out incredibly offensive jokes left and right, consider reporting them to human resources or to a manager. Just make sure you’re not reporting someone for an innocent dad joke that you’ve heard a hundred times before.

#22

When I worked at a ski shop setting up snowboard rentals I’d ask how they wanted their stance, regular or goofy, so I could set the bindings up. At least 3 times a week, for the 6 months a year we did rentals, for the 4 years I worked there, I heard from dads “well he rides regular, but he’s pretty goofy hahaha.” By the end of my time there I never even bothered with a fake chuckle anymore, I just didn’t have it in me.

#23

Cake decorator here- people would come pick up their orders and jokingly tell me I spelled the name on the cake incorrectly. They would watch me get upset with myself and offer to fix it, then tell me they were just kidding.

#24

As a graphic designer I hear from non professionals "Come on, it's just 2 button clicks." Also from clients "Make the logo bigger."

#25

I do commissions. “Can you draw a headshot of my dog in color” “Yeah sure it’ll be 6$ (I do really cheap commissions because it’s my hobby)” “Oh you want me to pay!? I thought you liked to draw?” “I do like to draw but it’s no different than buying a cake from a bakery, the shop owner likes to bake but the materials cost them money and we’d like to get some of that money back” “Ugh never mind I don’t want to pay to get a drawing of my dog” It’s happened at least 6 times in the two years I’ve been doing this

#26

video production can you make (photoshop) me look thinner?

#27

Groomer. "I brush him everyday!" The dog is matted from chest through back legs, and behind ears and tail.

#28

Work in cardiac ultrasound imaging. "Can you tell my wife out there i actually have one?" "Is it a boy or a girl?" "So is it working?" Legit. Hur hur hur

#29

Ultrasound tech. Male patients: am I pregnant HAHAHA

#30

I worked at a bank for 4 years. The amount of idiots that go "gimme all your money. Just kidding I'm not here to rob you." Or "I guess all this cash makes it look like I sell drugs. I don't though!" is staggering. And in the future, if anyone wants to make the second joke just know that they usually end up having to flag your account to check for money laundering activities so hopefully you aren't actually selling drugs. Edit: I also just want to add how many people would come in on Halloween and be pissed and shocked that we would have the audacity to ask them not to wear masks. That being said it was a hunting town so people constantly came in with knives and for some reason we were ok with that.

#31

I work in the meteo (not a scientist, just an IT guy) and as soon as people know this, it's all "Hey can you fix me some good weather for the bbq this weekend?"

#32

Travel Money Bureau. every time im checking if some notes are legit or not, its "they should be fine I printed them this morning" har de har har

#33

Waiter here. “Can I get you guys anything else?” “Yeah, a boatload of cash!”, or alternatively, “A wheelbarrow”

#34

I work with a lot of graphic designers. It's not that I want the logo bigger, it's the two idiots above me making me insist upon it. I am so sorry.

#35

I used to be in the beer industry (selling to supermarkets) and I’d get “you can just load that pallet into my truck” every day. Now I’m in the elevator industry and about once a week I get “I bet that has its ups and downs.”

#36

Work in payroll and people like to joke with me to add a 0 at the end of their pay. I say I'll do it, but put one of their middle numbers onto mine and it's funny to see their gears turning.

#37

I work in a nursing home and sometimes we have a resident that is constantly trying to leave and go home, because they don't remember that they live there. The on going joke is someone asking, "Can't we just tie them to a chair?" (No, we cant. Just for those of you who actually think that's an option.)

#38

Not a profession, but it kind of relates to this.When people who don't need glasses ask to try out my glasses and ask how I can see with them.

#39

“Do you know what all those knobs do? hur hur hur” I’m a soundguy.

#40

I’m a singer! I went to college for music and have been doing it professionally for sometime now. I usually get, “Omg my granddaughter’s cousin’s niece is a singer! You guys should meet up!” Or, “sing something for us!!” And then if I don’t feel up to it they say “how can you be a singer if you don’t want to sing in front of people?” I love it ?

#41

I'm a researcher working for the Government of Canada. Them: "Hey, did you know my tax dollars pay your salary?" Me: eye roll.

#42

And this is our accounting department. "Lol, put some extra money in my check, lololololololol."

#43

"Who is walking who?" - whenever I am taking a big dog to the back... hur hur

#44

I work at a car dealership. I’ll get customers come inside upon finding the keys accidentally left in a vehicle. They almost always say, “Found your keys out there, you know I could have just driven away.” It’s like they want a reward for not stealing our vehicle.

#45

Phlebotomy. Oh lord, the vampires here, let me call you back I have terrible veins! They roll; they're deep, and you have to use a butterfly! Well damn, how many tubes you need? I ain't gonna have one more drop of blood by the time I get outta here What they testing me for this time? A what? Like I know what that is.

#46

Receptionist here. I previously answered calls with, "Company Name, how may I help you?" and 50% of the time (or so it felt like) the response I'd get was, "Well, I don't know how YOU can help me". I switched it up to "how may I assist/direct you" but I still get the ol' "Well, I don't know..." It's not cute. Just tell why the eff you're calling so we can both move on with our days!

#47

Dairy farmer: brown cows give chocolate milk. I milk brown cows. They don’t give chocolate milk.

#48

So you can give me the good stuff eh? Wink wink nudge nudge eh? Im a nurse not a cocaine dealer, also yes.

#49

Synthetic chemist. "can you make me drugs?" or other Breaking Bad related comments. And yes. Yes I can. But I wont.

#50

As a nurse, almost any time I give anything remotely close to a painkiller/sedative to patient, the family says something along the lines of "CAN I haVE One tOo HyUcK HYUCK HYucK"

#51

As a cop, I’d say the most common one I get is: I didn’t do it man! Bro chill, I’m just trying to buy a red bull and some donuts..

#52

Policeman here. The old,"He/she is here, i've got him, he's the one you've been looking for", as they grip their relative/friend/nearest person to them and look at you manically....

#53

If I can't fix a random-ass problem on someone's PC, I get "so do i get a new one hurr hurr" so often it hurts.

#54

Stocked shelves at a grocery store for a few months in college and some guy was angry because he had been in line for a few minutes and no one was there to ring him up. He found me and asked what was going on and I kindly told him I’d go grab a cashier to check him out and he goes, “No it’s fine, I can just leave with my stuff. I mean, I don’t have to pay if no ones gonna wait on me,” or something like that. I laughed sarcastically with a deadpan face and told a cashier there were customers waiting. They didn’t pay me enough to stop him if he tried.

#55

At Starbucks, we have categories and buttons for all the drinks. When we get a new drink, there is a new button but no one tells us where the button is. It is either in with normal lattes or frappuccinos or it's under the seasonal category on the opposite side of the screen. So when a customer orders a new or special drink, we go on a wild goose chase for the button that seems to not exist. The customers will say "Oh you can't find it? How about you make it and just let me take it." My boss just tells us to ring them up for a basic drink and make the special one until the button is added. The button is never added

#56

I work in the Deaf community and people always see the name of the charity I work for and say "Pardon?" then laugh like they're the funniest person in the world. Little bit of my soul dies every frickin' time

#57

I work for a major spirit company and at least once everyday the pubs I'm calling on will say "got any free bottles?" and then when I say "no, unfortunately not" in the nicest possible way, they will make the rest of the call really sh**ty.

#58

"So can you come look at my car?" -Mechanical Engineer. I know nothing about cars.

#59

Web developer. "Come on, [deceptively complicated change that looks simple] shouldn't take you so long!" B**ch. You are not a web developer. You have no idea how long writing code takes. You don't get to tell me how long it should take. Only I get to do that. Also, just because something looks simple doesn't mean it won't take hours to implement.

#60

I don’t have one like that exactly... What I get a lot of is: “Wow, that’s like... professional!” Which is a massively backhanded compliment. I’m a fabricator. Professionally.

#61

Stripper here. Our version is definitely: "How about I give YOU a lapdance!"

#62

I work in IT, when something doesn't load for people, they love asking "is it the server?". Yes it's the server....all 50 of them...

#63

Registration at a Hospital for me it's, "everything is the same". I have never registered you, so I have no context to what "everything the same means." Just let me ask my 5 simple questions and you can be on your way. Quit giving me a hard time because I don't know you. I can't tell you the amount of times where everything is the same, wasn't correct, either you changed your primary doctor, emergency contact, phone number, whatever.

#64

I’m in the military. “Thank you for my freedom.” While I appreciate the sentiment, I guarantee I have done literally nothing to protect your freedom. You do that all by yourself by voting. If you want to thank me for your safety, I’ll accept that. Safety and freedom are not the same thing.

#65

Paramedic: After we've dropped a patient off (think interfacility transfer) and heading back to the elevator with an empty stretcher, someone always asks, "hey, can I get a ride to my car?" I usually reply: "Sure, $300, cash up front, but if you want me to clean it first, $500, oh, and you probably want me to clean it." When we're washing the rig at the end of shift, people actually ask what we charge to do their vehicle. Har dee [frikkin] har. Also, my contract fee for automotive washing is $100/hr, minimum 1hr charge. A totally had one guy tell me to learn to take a joke for that! "Nice park job, assh*le!" Hmmm, big white truck, blinky lights, I wonder if you call the local constabulary to report me, what ever will they do? Hmmm, rough night shift, feeling salty and drinking, maybe number 3 doesn't apply?

#66

"Just do this one thing [for a new/prospective client]. It will lead to more work." How 'bout just pay me for this one thing and we'll talk about future work too. This is not a hobby.

#67

In IT; No, you don’t get a new phone/laptop/iPad if you throw it out the window / run it over, etc. You get fired you psycho.

#68

"Oh you're a mechanical engineer? You must know a lot about cars."

#69

My medium rare steak has blood in it. I'll take that for free please

#70

“there was a typo on the quiz, so that question doesn’t count” or “I was absent that day, so I don’t have to do that assignment”

#71

IT. "Can you hack my

#72

Well my child is only failing Because you are a bad teacher. Not Because he refuses to study and does not pay attention in school

#73

I work in the music scene making beats and tracks for rap artists Everyone always asks "Can I sample this track?" or "Use it for one of my songs?" and they say "imagine the exposure it will get you."

#74

Also well known in the beer industry: “It’s the [insert color] truck out front. HURHURHHR.” “It’s free today right. HURHURHUR.” “It’s buy one get 29 free right? HURHURHUR.” “Man this job must be awesome...getting to sample all this beer. HURHURHUR.” “Oh he’s paying for mine too. HURHURHUR.” (This one is good because it usually gets the unknowing customer before this and sometimes after this guy to respond with one of the before mentioned jokes) something breaks “AWWWW MAN I’M REPORTING YOU FOR ALCOHOL ABUSE. HURHURHUR.” Seriously—people thinking working with beer is awesome. It is. But it isn’t.

#75

Worked in the casino guest rewards, you sign up you get perks of some sort ours was a small amount of pts. to use towards slots then changed to some stuffed animal...(I know, we've all hated that idea) but if we're ran out or the system was acting weird it was, "well guess you gotta give me X amount of money" ... the other one after asking, is there anything I can help you with..."yeah point me to the winning machine" followed by the fakest laugh of my life.

#76

I'm a psychologist, not a mind reader. You can relax when you talk to me when I'm off duty : I don't want to figure you out. Quite frankly I don't care. You do have a problem with your mother tough.

#77

As a Recruitment Consultant: "Haha so you just do your magic and find a job for me! Bye!"

#78

Landscaping - “hur hur do you want to come do mine (beds/lawn/etc) next? Hur hur”

#79

I work in a pre-school. Multiple times a week parents say "I don't know how you guys do it!" Referring to taking care of multiple toddlers all day. It's always the parents who leave their toddlers with us for 9-11 hours who say this.

#80

Paramedic here, I ALWAYS get the old ladies saying “oh! My taxi!” Or “You coming back for me later?”

#81

"So you can make my photo look great and not look like I was running in a poorly-lit hallway using a crummy camera?" Graphic Design (user of Photoshop). I can create some nice stuff, but what I can't do is turn back time and make you take an good photo.

#82

I work in IT. "Have you tried turning it off and on again? " never gets old.

#83

Not a profession but: I'm a guy with long hair (to the middle of my back). I hear stuff like "Did your hairdresser die?" or "When are you gonna cut it off?" or any hAhA uR gRiL jokes all the time. It's not funny guys and you're not the first to come up with it. from Funny – Bored Panda https://ift.tt/2nIXW57 via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/2nJXW4T

#funny news #funny videos #funny news today #funny photos

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nct-markeureee-blog · 8 years

Text

g e t to k n o w me tag

asjkh tagged by @donghyuckstudies + @taebreez <3<3<3<3 ahh ily guys :3

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning, when you are finished you have to tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1) Are you named after someone? nopee

2) When is the last time you cried? i cried so much when nct had their first win -- but the last time i cried was an hour ago bc i studied so hard for a test and i did it today and it was hard and i feel like i failed and i probably did fail and the idea of failing just kills me so so much omg i cant ok bye

3) Do you like your handwriting? yeap my writing is pretty good to be honest! but sometimes when i take notes i just look at the board and write/copy at the same time and then i look at my writing after im done and its just .... ... hahahahahahaha

4) What is your favourite lunch to eat? S U S H I i love sushi so so much like adlkj i can eat this sole creation for the rest of my life

i also like tempura shrimp/veggieeess

5) Do you have kids? sorry i aint no Teen Mom ,., but i dont plan to be a mom ever so ye

6) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? ahh i think i would tbh i feel like im a really nice and caring and selfless and social person in my opinion and i think im just a good friend material ! at least i hope so ? lol

7) Do you use sarcasm? no omg i never use sarcasm and tbhhhh sometimes i get sad when people use mean sarcasm even tho the point of sarcasm is not to get mad/sad welppp

8) Do you still have your tonsils? ya lol are tonsils that bad to be a question idk

9) Would you bungee jump? ohmg yeeee i think i would be down and then 5 mins before i jump ill be like what kind of shit did i just get myself into

10) What is your favourite kind of cereal? ahh i dont really eat cereal/oatmeal but i like cinnamon toast crunch or those cereals with clusters i despise fruit loops hmm what

11) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? my shoelaces are always untied lmao whoops

12) Do you think you’re a strong person? holy shit not even a million ‘no’s would be able to emphasize how un-strong of a person i am especially when it comes to grades

13) What is your favourite ice cream flavour? im not into ice cream(except for matcha ice cream) but i like fruit sorbets!

14) What is the first thing you notice about people? facial features? and then probably their height

15) Red or pink? i dont like both ,, BUT MARK LIKES PINK SO PINK

16) What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? my body/weight in general

17) What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? black ~shorts~(even tho its winter) and no shoes

18) What was the last thing you ate? the last legit thing was asian stir fry veggies but i just tried an “orange cream yogurt raisin” rn that tasted weird

19) What are you listening to right now? nothing but the last thing i did was Good Thing - N C T. T T T T

(whenever i feel sad though (like rn) i would listen to Tomorrow-BTS)

20) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? yellow because like its all nice and bright and pretty and everyone uses yellow but then the second the yellow crayon touches/mixes with a darker colour the crayon gets ruined and no one wants to use the yellow crayon anymore ://

21) Favourite smell? juicy couture smells really goood and mens cologne asdjkf

22) Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my friend she asked me to send her some notes for the TEST WHICH i failed

23) Favourite sport to watch? ahhhhhhhh i love soccer(fifa) and volleyball matches and then i loooveeee watching all the olympics sports collectively yeet

24) Hair colour? my natural hair colour is like a standard chestnut brown but i dyed it a golden brown-blonde but its been 6 months since i last redyed it and half my hair is brown again and idk whether ill switch to my natural hair colour or redye it

25) Eye colour? chestnut

26) Do you wear contacts? i wear glasses(near-sighted) but my eyesight is good enough to see properly w/out glasses so contacts are unnecessary technically

27) Favourite food to eat? S U S H I. Sushi!

28) Scary movies or comedy? comedy hands down i love the feeling of laughing so hard that you’re just uncontrollably wheezing and hyperventilating asjkfs

29) Last movie you watched? idek i dont watch movies but i watch NCT videos and kdramas

30) What colour of shirt are you wearing? im not wearing a shirt wearing a zip up fleece turtleneck sweater thats like an amalgamate of white, beige, dark green, brown, dark teal colours its rlly pretty and comfy

31) Summer or winter? im a canadian so winter but last week i literally fell six times in a row from the snow/ice and i couldnt move and i got sick so winter rn ihy pls end rn

32) Hugs or kisses? im a 15 year old hormonal teenage girl so this question makes me hormonal i feel like i dont really see a difference i think that if the action is sincere and genuine i would enjoy/prefer both equally

33) What book are you currently reading? other than webtoons i never really read any books other than school textbooks(current one im reading is “Object Oriented Programming: an intro to java” or sm like that)

34) Who do you miss right now? i dont really miss anyone i think ppl enter and leave my life for a reason i just miss this person that i loved so much named Good GrADES ;-; yes i am still salty i will forever be salty

35) What is on your mouse pad? im on a laptop so uh ,,

36) What is the last TV program you watched? do kdramas count? The Shining Eun Soo(my first and fav >25 ep kdrama)

NCT LIFE PLS I AM WAITING EVERYDAY

37) What is the best sound? MARK LEES LAUGH SMILE EXISTENCE i like the sound of good grades

38) Rolling Stone or the Beatles? i feel like this preference is worthless because i know neither and i only listen to kpop but i guess the beatles?

39) What is the furthest you have ever travelled? Egypt

40) Do you have a special talent? after months of careful bs i have developed the skill of crafting excellent academic essays that require some sort of reading(novel, article, idk) ...,,, without actually ,,reading

41) Where were you born? toronto, canada

42) People you expect to participate in this? “expect” UhM i tag everyone!

@nctgiri @taeiloves @why-jaehyun @jaehyyunn @jenowhat @1aeil MY GOOD CHINGUS sorry if you’ve already been tagged lmao

#back to crying about test #like by now i should know that one test doesnt really matter #but like im really good in that subject and im pretty competitive for high grades #and i actually studied so hard sjkfhs but still i make stupid careless errors #so now my average will tank and i have to work so hard to bring it up to where i want #at least my science average is 100%#ok time to die

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years

Text

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

"Tee Motorcycle insurance?

I'm 17, I live in Arlington TX, I have A's and B's with a few C's (my parents told me they look at grades. True?) I'm Looking at buying either an older honda shadow, probably around 750 cc or an older Kawasaki Vuclan (same). THe bikes will be pre-2000, and I will be getting bare minmum insurance. Can anyone guess at the rate?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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i got a v8 mustang, the insurance per year is 2,300 im 17 male""

Is there an affordable health insurance plan in California?

I am struggling to find an affordable health insurance plan for my family. I've asked this question before and got a great answer, then lost the link! Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)""

Need cheap insurance?

i need insurance 4 missus 24/f/bham housewife just passed first car 1.4 pug 106.

Car insurance price for a Civic?

I am a 18 year old boy and I want to purchase a Honda Civic EX 4-door w/ a manual transmission. I am looking at a 2000-2005 or a 2006-2009 model. Could anybody give me an estimate of how much insurance is monthly? Thanks

Obamacare starts in three days. will more people have health insurance or less?

an estimated 5 million had their health insurance cancelled because it did not meet the requirements of the Affordable Care Act. The administration says 1 million signed up for Obamacare you do the math http://www.hhs.gov/healthcare/facts/blog/2013/12/enrollment-surged.html

What happens if you get denied life insurance?

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

Why is my car insurance ridiculously expensive?

I've been using go compare for a Peugeot 206 1.1 litre petrol, and have been given quotes of about 6-8 thousand pound! I know for young drivers (im seventeen) car insurance is expensive but I was expecting 2-3 grand, am I maybe using a bad site?""

Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

I am 17 i understand that the insurance on a very fast car would be millions! but i was wondering does anyone know an old fastish car that the insurance isnt tonnes and tonnes of cash in the UK

Cheap health insurance in Mass?

I have a decent health insurance plan at work that covers me but my wife does not have health insurance at her part time job and my family plan is way too expensive. I guess I'm looking for the cheapest health insurance to just cover her; particularly her expensive prescriptions. Any help would be much appreciated. -Thnx

Car Insurance in Texas?

I know that TX law required you to have insurance however what about an insurance card? Usually your insurance gives you a paper or card to keep with you on hands like, say whenever you get in an accident However, if you get into an accident and the other person does not have her insurance card with her on hand and just gives you a business card saying her insurance is under Enterprise (the car rental company). Is she at fault for not having a insurance card on her and could she get fined?""

Will getting married affect me being on my parents car insurance?

My mom knows we are engaged my dad won't even know that until December. My husband and I just got married yesterday but our ceremony is not until August. I realized today I am on my parents car insurance. Am I still going to be on there or are they going to send a letter to them saying I am married or something? He already paid the premium until April 2012 with me on it so I don't think they can take me off til then? Maybe at the end of the 6 months I should tell them since I am getting married in 4 months I want to get my own car insurance since it wont be the full cycle done before I am married. IDK I just wanna know if the company will say your married daughter cannot be on your insurance??? I am kinda freaked out.

Used 2006 mustang v6 insurance for teens?

how much do you think insurance will be for a teen ages 16-17. (estimate) will it be cheap or expensive because it is used. and what if it is under the parent's plan? thank you

Does your car insurance premium change?

Hi, Im 16 turning 17 and im getting my license in 9 days. Someone told my family that if we take a crap car like my 2002 honda accord to my test and use that to get our insurance, then the price of insurance on that car will be what we will pay for any other car for the rest of my teenage life. If i were to take the honda to the test, get the insurance, and say lease a newer car, will my insuracne cost stay the same as what we were charged for the honda? Sorry its long and confusing""

How to get my car insurance in my name?

i am going to break up with my boyfriend, but my car insurance is in his name.i want to be independent , so how to get it over in my name. he refuse to help me out. did i mention how much i dislike him.""

""When you have a deductible with car insurance, who do you pay the deductible to after getting into an accident

I was in a car accident with a hit and run driver and I have collision with a 500 deductible. So when and to who do I pay my deductible to? And who does my insurance pay their portion to; me or the repair shop for the repairs on my car??

New driver- car insurance?

i just got anew car, hydauni elantra 06, and i need insurance, wats the cheapest insurance for a 19 yr old girl,no driving record, tickets etc in the rome/utica area? thanksssss""

Car insurance 19 year old better to get insured on car with parents as registered owners?

My dads car insurance will not insure me on his car even though its a Peugeot 106 1.4L engine. He says that it is cheaper to insure me if the car is under his name but that will require him to change his insurance company. Is it even the case that the insurance is cheaper beacaure when i select myself asa the registered owner of the vehicle and legal owner the price that they quote is the same. So, of i buy a car does he really need to be the registered owner?""

""I heard that if you have good grades, your insurance rate will go down.?""

I'm about to get my permit this summer, but I have one F (I'm not a slacker, but I just couldn't handle the work) Anyway, my mom said that if I don't get this F up, I can't get insurance, cause nobody will insure me. Is this true? Also, another question... Do I only need insurance on a car, or do I need my own insurance or could I drive my mom's car legally (when I have my permit)?""

What's a reasonable price I should pay a car mechanic for an alarm certificate for insurance purposes?

UK question My car insurance company requires written evidence from a car garage that my car has a factory fitted alarm. How much should I pay them for this?

Is mental health treatment covered by insurance?

Is counseling and drug therapy typically covered by insurance in the United States? Thanks!

Insurance: Average yearly mileage exceeded?

When I brought my car insurance (after being without a car for many years), one of the questions was average yearly mileage , I input 12,000 thinking that that figure was ...show more""

Is It Cheaper To Be Added As A Named Driver On My Mother's Insurance?

Hi, Ive got my test on 5th april, so i am looking to buy a cheap car soon, as expected insurance for 17 year old male is very expensive. i was wondering if anyone had a rough estimate how much my mums insurance would go up by if she added me as a named driver. she's got 21 years no claims discount and she pays about 400 a year. do i have to pay a deposit or anything? Thank you in advance for your answers :)""

How can i get insurance for my bike ?

I am planning to purchase mahindra bike hopefully. how to get insurance for that ?

Insurance Rates Of Past Years For Different Genders?

I am doing a data analysis project and i would like to find average insurance rates in canada or the states from the 1900s till present for different genders. I cant seem to find any statistics for the insurance rates at all. helpppppp : (

Has anyone heard of 21st.com car insurance? They gave me a quote that was 500 dollars less than Geico!?

I gave the agent everything on my Geico policy and they quoted me with a 500 dollar six month premium which is less than what I pay for with Geico (almost 1000 dollars!!) Sounds to good to be true. Is it? Has anyone had a bad experience with them? Good experience? Please share.

What is the cheapest insurance to get if you have a DUI and live in Cali?

Can I get liability insurance if I do a roll over?

I'm currently financing a vehicle and I simply can't afford it anymore. I'm considering doing a trade in for a cheaper car. I would be trading in my car which has a higher value than the car. So there will still be a finance going on but it would be a rollover. Will the other technically be paid off meaning that I'd be able to get liability on it? I just need to lower my payments because it's too much to handle right now so even some ways that I can lower my payments or insurance would be nice.

Do you have to insure a jet ski?

Would the health issues I have impact my insurability or rates for life insurance?

I'm a 51-year-old female. I've been on disability for six years for chronic fatigue syndrome, depression and panic disorder. I also have mild hypertension. I'm on meds for all these conditions. BUT I've never had, nor have any family history of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, any sort of breathing problems or major organ dysfunction. I would think it might even be a plus in terms of insurability that I rarely leave my house!""

""On average, what does it cost to add a teen to your auto insurance?""

On average, what does it cost to add a teen to your auto insurance?""

Good insurance for young drivers on luxury cars?

i'm looking to get insured on a 2011 bmw x5 m sport 3.0D, i'm 19. I cant seem to find an insurance company that will insure me however there must be a way even if its ridiculously expensive, recently in the newspaper there was a guy from london with a provisional license insured on a ferrari as his first car. So yeah just wondering if you guys know any good car insurance companies for specific needs? Thanks""

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

I have a question about insurance? Help please?

I just recently got my license, and I'm already listed under my mom's policy. (I'm going to be driving her car.) Anyway, the rate obviously went up because she added me to her policy. But they aren't going to charge her for it until next month. Even though I'm listed under the policy, would I have to wait until next month to drive? Because I haven't technically paid yet for my part of the insurance? Thank you!""

Insurance rate?

Hi, in the summer i'll be driving soon. Can anybody tell me how much I would have to pay to be insured for 6 months by Farmers? I'm 17, and I'm not eligible for the Good Student discount. I heard that my insurance rate would be cheaper if my parents add me to their policy. I'll probably be driving a 1990-1997 Mazda Miata MX-5. Also, what's a good, cheap auto insurance company do you guys recommend for teenagers?""

Will a speeding ticket increase the insurance rate on car?

I got a ticket and i dont want to tell my parents. The officer said i could send the check to pay it off through the mail or by email.

How do I get free insurance until I can get my health back so I can work again to pay for insurance?

Do you think my car insurance would go up?

I am 18 years old. If my father were to buy me an Eclipse, do you think my car insurance would raise?""

Whats the cheapest car insurance?

Car accident but no car insurance?

I was just in a car accident in which I was not at fault and the other driver was ticketed. I live in Florida and while my car was insured with PIP coverage under my fathers name. I was exempt from the coverage. I had to go to the hospital to get CT scans of my brain and neck area as well as multiple xrays. The other driver did have insurance and I wanted to know even though I had no insurance, when the drivers' insurance company gives me the compensating cash amount would I be able to use the hospital bills as part of the compensating amount? I know the reason you have car insurance is to cover any medical injury in an accident but I unfortunately didn't have the means. any info would be greatly appreciated!""

Does two mortgages on a home make your insurance more expensive?

If I get a second mortgage on my house will my insurance go up?

How do pilot insure themselves in the USA?

Is that covered by the owner of the airplane or do they need to have their own personal insurance?

How do I know which insurance is primary?

I'm a full time student and I'm nineteen. I have insurance through my mother, empire blue cross blue shield. But I also work part-time at a hospital and receive local 1199 health insurance from them. Which one is primary?""

I'm 17 - Insurance on a 1985 Corvette? - Please help!?!?!?

Hey all - i have a quick question.. I want to know how much insurance would be if i get a 1985 Corvette - - i am 17 years old - i am a male - i live in New York - i have VERY good grades (i heard you can get discounts if so) And just to get everyone off my back now (lol) -.... I AM going to be paying for the CAR as WELL as the insurance.. i just worked my butt off this year and managed to save up around 10k for a car / insurance - so please dont state how i am just spoiled using my parents money and etc. I am responsible and i DONT need to read about how its a fast car and what not. This has been my favorite car for years now and i want to have it not to race, show off, impress others.. but just to collect it as a goal that i have had and use it as a daily car to get to school and work! I dont need sites where i can get quotes, because i already know all that gibberish (lol) - i just want a close estimate of how much it can be for full insurance on a 1985 corvette if i am 17, male, in NY, with very good grades. Thanks so MUCH in advance!""

Anyone have any information on insurethebox car insurance?

I've been looking at insurance quotes from various sites and insurethebox keeps popping up. The company fit a clear box to the car to see how much mileage you used (has to be under 6000 a year). Does anyone have any more information on them? I've googled, and aside from some advertisement articles haven't really found anything. All help is appreciated (10 points for best answer :D)""

Student auto insurance?

I'm currently a college student and would like to purchase my own auto insurance in Ohio (and no longer be included on my parents insurance). Does anyone have any tips on how/where to get good, affordable auto insurance? Are there any companies that you would recommend? Or ones that offer student/good student discounts? Thanks!""

How will this go with my insurance??

Yesterday i was on my way to work and I was stopped waiting to turn left, there was a car in front of me stopped as well, who was turning in the same direction. Once they had turned i looked and i did not see anyone so i began to turn, in the middle of the turn i saw a car coming very quickly at me, i tried to speed up to get out of the way but i was hit on the passenger side of my car. The woman said she saw me but couldnt stop in time, and when i looked over i could see she was breaking and her car wiggled back and forth, and from experience i know that that only happens when you are going at high speeds. I am 17 and on my parents insurance, i am worried about what will happen. How will the insurance deal with this, will we have to pay for her car even though she hit me? Will her insurance cover my car? Or What will happen? I am very worried and i do not know much at all about Insurance and dealing with accidents. Also what is a deductable?""

""Got into a small accident with my mothers car. She has insurance I dont, what will happen?""

I was driving my mother's car, was in a small accident. I rear ended a car in front of me at a stop sign. Completely my fault. There was no damage to both cars but the driver called an ambulance due to neck pain. A police report was made. What will happen next? She has full insurance for the car with Geico. Will the insurance rate go up? Will I have to pay any fines? Will I get into trouble for driving her car with no insurance? My mother wasnt feeling well I was using her car to run errands. Thanks!""

Term life insurance and estate planning?

Can term life insurance be used in place of long term care insurance? For instance, lets say a person is 55 yoa and in generally good health. Instead of buying long term care insurance, how about buying a term life policy for 250-300k. Should nursing home care become necessary, available funds for care costs, then upon death, survivors are reimbursed via the term life death benefit. It seems to me long term care insurance may or may not be used, and if not, the money paid for premiums is wasted . On the other hand, everyone dies, so nursing home or no nursing home, the death benefit will one day be paid. What say you?? Thanks in advance for offering your insight.""

Car insurance??? and a car accident?

hey, my mom got into a car accident a couple months ago with three other cars. However the car was not her, it is my uncles car. He has liability insurance. His insurance company called us and said that just forward the calls we were getting to them. then we start getting a call from a lady saying that we owe her 3,000 dollars. But my uncles insurance company or her insurance company has not contacted us. What do we do? can she do that? what is liability? if the insurance company is not calling us, then does she just want to get money from us. please help me out""

What is current on the insurance business?

Has there been any development or change? this is for a job interview

How come different auto insurance agencies charge different prices for the same insurance company?

yes i went to three different insurance agencys to see what quotes theyll give me. one say said ill pay 50 a month and 140 down payment for access auto insurance . the other agency said ill pay 60 a month and 90 down payment for the same company. and the third agency said i would probably not qualify for access auto insuranc. im 20 year old male riverside ca 94 accord. why would three different agencys quote diferently for the same auto company ? whyyy is it a scam

What is a rough guess what insurance for a 97 Yamaha yzf1000 would cost?

Im looking at getting a 97 Yamaha YZF1000 and was wondering about how much i would be paying for insurance?

Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?

Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.""

Should I still be paying full car insurance ?

Hi, my car was recently in an accident that was the third party's fault but my claim is still ongoing. My car has been written off and is in the third party's salvage yard. As ...show more""

Can I get car insurance at 15 years old?

I am 15 & bought a classic car with my dad. Can I insure it in my name and build up two years no claims bonus while we restore it?

How can I get auto insurance in my name when the car is registered in someone else's name?

My mom currently has a loan on my car in her name in California. My car is registered in California, but because my husband is active duty military, we relocated to South Carolina. Is there a way I can obtain insurance in my name without being a registered owner?""

What is the average monthly rate for restaurant liabilty insurance in tampa?

And which insurance company in tampa do the restaurant insurance..Mind is in the plaza not free stand..

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

Do you need a drivers license to get a car and get put on insurance of parents?

anyway i want to get a car im 21 and no license i want a new vehicle and my parents are bitchin about i need one to get a new car that the dealers wont let me and i also want to be put on my parents insurance so whats going to happen is this bad!?/

HELP!!!! Insurance company saying I owe money after a car accident that happened 2 years ago! What do I do?

2 years ago I got into a 4 car pile up accident. The accident was my fault. After the wreck happened, my insurance company took care of all the people who were involved in the wreck but me because I had only liability. No one was hurt in the wreck. I recieved a letter from my insurance company that I owed them $700.00. I paid it and they told me everything was taken care of and never heard anything about the accident. Now 2 years later I get a letter from the Credit Collection company saying I owe them $82,000 dollars!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!? How do I find out what they want me to pay so much money for??? and what do I do if i cant pay this!? there is NO WAY I can afford to pay that much $$!!! How do I keep my credit from messing up or is it already messed up since the collectio company sent me a letter??? PLEASE HELP! anyone who knows anything about this or has been through this...""

Dodge charger car insurance?

How much of a difference in car insurance would there be between my 1998 Honda Accord and a 2007 Dodge Charger? Im a 17 year old male. Please dont answer unless u know wat ur talking about.

Is car insurance more expensive in Florida or Oklahoma?

I moved from Ohio to Oklahoma and my car insurance rates went way up. Now I'm moving to Florida. I was just curious how Florida rates and if my insurance will be more or less expensive there? Thank you!

What do you think is the best health insurance company in southern california?

i need to purchase individual coverage.

Cheap NY auto insurance ?

hi there, i plan on buying a car soon but im a new driver and i have no one else to help me insure a car so i have no choice but to insure it on my own. I've checked and looked around geico, state farm, all state, and they were all to expensive, anywhere from 5-6k to insure the car for a year (way to expensive). So do any of you guys know any NY auto insurance companies that are affordable? Thanks""

How much does motorcycle ensurance cost?

I am planning on getting a bike. used,street bike probably a 04-07 dont know what kind yet but i was curious if a) is insurance on a motorcycle absolutely needed? b)how much if im 18, but father as a co signer with GREAT credit score c)on a $5,000 bike how much would it be a month overall, insurance and payments.""

Why do auto insurance company ask for social security number when asking for a quote?

must i give my social security number if i were to purchase a auto policy?

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance in California or Los Angeles?

Is it more affordable to use a car or motorcycle in terms of gas saving and insurance? I am new to US. I want a reliable answer please.

""Question about being a teen, and car insurance?""

I am 17 now, I am taking my driver's test in about a week. My boyfriend said that when he got his licence he was automatically added to his mom and dad's car insurance. Well I was wondering would it be the same for me. Because (This might be a little confusing (: ) I was adopted by my birth mother's boyfriends mom, and i live with her and her mom. No one in the house has a car, or car insurance, and my birth mother doesn't have any custody of me but she does have car insurance, and my birth father has half custody of me, and he has car insurance. So.... ha ha my question in general is, when get my license, will I be added to any ones insurance? Or will I have to get my own? Ha ha ALSO, If I do have to get my own what would be the best and cheapest insurance for me? I wouldn't want full coverage, I would just get P.I.P. Please and thank you so much!""

Should Keep or Look into term Life Insurance Quotes?

I have a whole life policy which I have been paying 45.00 per month for 16 yrs. I have to pay this amount until age 99 so they say. The amount it was for when I bought it was 50,000. It builds cash value. I am now 62. Should I keep this policy or look into term insurance?""

Mexican auto insurance for Americans?

Anyone have any idea what is the best Company out there which gives the cheapest auto insurance rate for Americans in Mexico. Also if their service is good or bad compared to the other insurance companys when claims are made ?.

What is some good cheap car insurance for young adults between the ages of 18-24?

And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.

My freind is driving with out car insurance. Is this ok?

A freind of mine, 23yrs old, has just bought a $1000 car to get herself around from work and school. She lives alone with her sister, who is 25 and grandmother and has told me that she needs this car badly but can not afford to pay car insurance. I've been told that she can go to jail and loose her lisence. What can be done to help her out? She lives in florida USA.""

Can i drive car on my full uk license on insurance for provisional license ?

Hi can i drive a car with full uk license but on provissional license insurance as i passed my test in additon i am 17 yrs old the reason of that is because the cheapest insurance for full uk license with my dad as 1st driver was 2.5grand.

How much is ur car insurence a month?

im 16 and im not getting my car till 17 or 18 and i need to know how much money insurance is a month. i just need an estimate. Thanks

Is there any way of avoiding finance charges on monthly motor insurance ?

Like everyone, I'm strapped for cash and the other half's credit cards are maxxed out. In fact I'm so considered so bad for credit now even a loan shark wouldn't touch me with a bargepole despite having a job and being a discharged bankrupt - however my car insurance is due. Is there any way around the extra charges ? My renewal quote was 258 if payed in one lump, yet searching for monthly payments my cheapest payback is 366 over 12 months. Not that I'd ever accuse the banks of ripping us off. Any idea's ??""

List of life and health insurance companies with medical exam?

I need a form for allstate car insurance good student discount?

What would be the cheapest car insurance company to go to for someone who gets insurance for the first time?

A guy crashed into my today and totaled my car-how much will his insurance pay towards a new car?

My car was worth about $8000, give or take (that's what the officer told me). It was completely paid off. How much will the other guy's insurance pay towards a new car, or should I ask for a check? Which will be the better deal?""

Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?

""Geico Car Insurance, help? what do i do?""

Hey guys, my parents have three cars and all have geico insurance, but we're about to be out of country for a month or two and not even going to be using the cars for one or two months.. Is there a way that we can cancel/pause the insurance, so we won't have to pay insurance for a month. I mean we're not even gonna be using the cars, so were losing 1,200 dollars for absolutely nothing.. And if you can, can you explain it or just give me a link? thanks""

2006 cadillac cts insurance rate for teens?

i want my dad to give me his car but i wanted to know how much the insurance would be its the base 2006 2.8L cts and its salvaged , so yeah state farm rates would be a +, State of California""

Can i cancel my car insurance after my claim?

hi all, i have a car insurance policy with churchill and have recently written of my car.. the claim is being processed and i need to know some stuff. i am 19 and pay 1200 a year for my car insurance from sept2009-sept2010. I made the claim this week. i am planning to go to america in may for summer camp america and also due to there being a 900 excess ( god tell me about it) i wont be buying a new car and wont need a new car.. my car is only worth 1000 but i am claiming to recover the costs of recovery as i tipped it upside down. so therefore i need to know if i can cancel my insurance policy and if i can do that now or if i have to wait unil the claim has been processed. some people have said tat i might not beable to cancel???""

Tee Motorcycle insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-cost-robert-watkins"

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