#im so angry at myself for not journaling more

[liverpool-enjoyer]

vent

[dogcollarpunk]

//through gritted teeth// I'm being so Self-Organized and Time-Managing Right Now

[corrine-dartagnan]

does anyone else ever feel like they will never be able to form meaningful connections or friendships

[miumura]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[mangosrar]

Wake up.

chris sturniolo x fem reader.

warnings: mentions of death. sad.

an: this is basically like a journal thing that chris wrote after his girl died :/ i cried while writing this😍

its only been 5 days but i hate you and im so angry. how could you do this to me. you’re selfish. you’re a coward for leaving me. i could’ve helped you. we were in love we have been for years. how could you ever just leave me alone here without you by my side. you were weak you took the easy way out and left us to deal with the consequences.

today was your funeral. it was nice. exactly how you would’ve wanted it. the flowers the music. the casket. exactly how you would’ve liked. your mom asked me to give a speech but i had to go to the bathroom to throw up. i couldn’t do it. i couldn’t stand there and tell everyone how beautiful and funny and kind you were. not are. were. because you’re not here. your mom held me back when they were burring you, i couldn’t take it. i wanted to get in there and shake you and yell at you to wake you up. seeing your body get lowered into the ground was like the last goodbye. i know you’ve been dead for a couple of weeks but it was like you were still here in a way. i was waiting every day to wake up from this horrible dream and you would be there to hold me and tell me its all going to be okay. i couldn’t let you go. i couldn’t have the only thing i ever loved ripped away from me. i wish i could switch our place. i wish i could have you here. i need you here because i still haven’t woken up.

its been a month and it still don’t feel real. im not angry anymore though, just sad. i wish you would have told me, we could’ve worked this out together, that’s what we were supposed to do. i forget what your voice sound like and have to look back on videos to remind myself. how will i ever be okay again. this is like a sickness, a flesh eating bacteria that has gotten into my bloodstream and spread throughout my entire body. it would probably hurt less for you to die all over again. at least i would know what to expect. i think im dying. i could be. matt said i wasn’t but he don’t know what this feels like. he doesn’t know what it feels like to have the love of you’re life one day and to not have them the next. he doesn’t know what its like to have this hole inside of me that only you could fill. he doesn’t know what it feels like to know that that was the last time i ever saw you, last time i ever kissed you. last time you ever told me you loved me. i should have known. you held me extra tight that day. you knew i was never going to see you again. you knew and you let me leave your house. you let me look into your eyes for the last time ever. you allowed me to tell you i loved you for the final time. how could you. i just want to wake up from this fucking nightmare.

its been 2 months and things haven’t changed. its almost your birthday. last year we spent it together in the cape. this year ill probably bring flowers to your grave and cry, pleading for some sort of miracle to bring you back to me. its like you’ve taken a part of me with you. i can never get it back. i will never be the same again. i just wish i could have you, i still haven’t died yet but i think its a long process to die from this type of thing. its painful too, more than a mental pain. its a strong physical pain that i feel deep in my bones, or like i get this really dull ache in my chest whenever i think about you, witch is almost constantly. it hurts so bad honey. like my soul is calling for yours but its getting no reply. i would like death that way. to die at the hands of heartbreak. or maybe just to you. i would die and let you take my place if it meant i got to hold you one more time. i just want to have you back. why would you ever do this.

happy birthday. i wonder if you knew that last year was the last birthday you would ever had. maybe. but today isnt special. today is sad and painful. i went over to your house today, and for the fisrt time since i saw you for the last time i went into your bedroom and cried for hours while lying on your bed. the house still smells like you. it made me throw up. i need to have you back or i might die. i fell asleep after a while tho and woke up to matt. id been there for hours and he was worried but i thought it was you. i almost had a stroke. i was in your room, on your side of the bed, holding your pillow waking up to the smell of your perfume. how could you blame me. i hated it. i threw up again after that. but its still your birthday so i lit the candle that was on your coffee table, and i know you’re not supposed to tell your wishes but i wished for you back. like i do every day, morning and night, i wished for you to be mine again, i wished to wake up from this pandemonium of a terrible, terrible dream and to have you wrapped up in my arms where i know you’re safe, where i know you should be. but your not so now i have to remember you for longer than i have known you. happy birthday lovey.

SAD ASF RN

taglist: @christinarowie332 @soursturniolo @biimpanicking @azkabanstar @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @iheart2021chris @its-jennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

[writhe]

moving so far has been such an intensely solitary process. there is a lot i have to do alone. some of this is intentional, i want to know what i have and make sure i’m only holding onto things on purpose.

a corner of the room that hasn’t been empty for two years stares back at me blankly. there was a bookshelf there & it only took a couple hours to change that. there is less dust than i expected & something lurches in me when i think of the traces i won’t leave

when i cleared the shelves, i found journals whose pages had been sporadically written in. it was so uncomfortable to see how scared i was, how isolated and in pain. i always thought i could be someone who would protect myself. i thought that i felt i deserved safety. that i’d worry more when i was in danger, that i’d take myself seriously. i wish there were things i told people but i couldn’t and now won’t. i didn’t know who i was for so long. i felt like my own life was out of reach. i’m glad i survived. i can’t believe that i did and i’m angry that i had to

i had a lot of dreams when i moved in here. i was scared, too. i didn’t think i would be here long. i had a lot of hope for myself. it’s dreadful to know i’m leaving here worse off. but also i want it to be more impressive, everything that happened. but mostly im just angry about how shameful it all feels. but, hey, i’ve been able to make people laugh again. i am going to keep trying. i will start imagining a future again, soon

last, packing everything reconnects me to the self who, years ago, created this home. i don’t like thinking of regret because i start to feel like i’m the bad-end version of a more vibrant, braver self. maybe i’ll make peace with this but i hope i never do

I WILL DRAG MYSELF TOWARDS A NEW BEGINNING

[technicalknockout]

I wanted to reply to some of the stuff from my ask, but didn't know whether to reblog it or send it as an ask, I thought it might be easier this way?

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

So freaking stupid i loved it so much. I think my favourite was the "divide this number in half" bit.

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

That whole bit was so interesting. It was a really fun way of telling the story!

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy.

Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg.

And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

AH GOD YOU REPLIED TO EVERYTHING ????? THAMK YOU

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

>:( he knows us too well he knows we'd give anything for more info about shermie...

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

Ive been stuck on the numbers one, im gonna give it one more try today but i think it's gonna take a brain bigger than mine jfbsjdkskfs im STEAMING aleeeeex why are you making this so hard for me/silly

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

does that imply ford tried to show bill his moth collection at some point ????? imagine jdbshfjsnf

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

I WHEEZED WHILE READING THIS ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? but like. it's definitely on character i fully believe it happened. i mean this man backflips out of windows why not hnskdkdshd thanks for putting that image in my head

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

YEE!!!!! I think they were allowed to take more creative liberty than in the actual show, being a book and all, and i think thats really cool.

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

WELCOME TO THE FIDDLEFORD FANCLUB MY FRIEND. ive been a fan of him since the legend of the gobblewonker tbh.. i tend to latch onto very random silly side characters that fill the specifically shaped holes in my brain. Loved him more when i found out he had lore, love him even more after reading the book. Yay fiddleford 🎊

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy. / Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg. / And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

i swear these two are absolutely adorable and that is an objective fact i will not take criticism. the page where ford was rummaging thru fiddleford's desk and found the glove prototypes broke me.

and also yeah the college photo ! i mean like. augh. how do i put this. theyre so friends. ford believed fiddleford was right even tho they barely knew each other and worked together and came up with an entire theory. idk it's so wholesome. AND FRILLIAM !!!!! FIDDLEFORD GOT FORD A LITTLE GUY AND FORD NAMED HIM FRILLIAM AND I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY SPRAY HAND SANITIZER IN BILL'S EYE FOR RUINING THIS. these two are dear to my heart im so so frickin glad they made up and are somewhat keeping in touch now..

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

I KNOW THE PAIN SO SO WELL NO ONE AROUND ME EVEN KNOWS THIS BOOK EXISTS. ILL CHEER WITH YOU WHO CARES IF WE'RE NOT ON THE SAME CONTINENT. FORD MY GUY SLAYYYYYY🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊👏👏🎊🎉🎉👏👏👏

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

exactly.. bill is a Scary Silly Guy™️ thank you tbob for reminding us. it was very on character and we appreciate it a lot. but like did you HAVE to make ford suffer for it :'(

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

Guy had it comin for him tbh. rest in therapieces bill ciphor reincarnate as a vole (also YOU WANT TO HEAR MY RAMBLES🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺???? dont mind me if i raid your asks sometime. or discord dms. whichever you prefer !)

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

JASIDNFJSNFKSS PRETTY ACCURATE ID SAY. Stanford pines you are absolutely awesome take my money

[toomuchsky]

got a new car. having a lot of feelings abt it that i’m journaling abt on tumblr instead of processing internally. (lots of very privileged Big Money Feelings fair warning) but also look at him. momo. 🥹🥹🥹

basically after the insane amt of car troubles the last car gave me and the extra 4k it was asking from me in repairs, my dad finally was like “can you let me help you” and offered to help me buy out the loan on appa. one contingency was that i had to buy a new car, not anything used. so my car payment basically more than doubled, but i do have a car now that can take me from point a to point b and will hopefully ! not break down on me anytime soon. (with my luck tho who knows). i also still have the credit card debt from the engine but he was like “do your best to pay it off but if there is a difference at the end of the 0% apr period well see what i can help with”

i’m having! weird feelings abt it! lots of shame around having to accept money from my parents, lots of guilt around having parents that can afford to do this, also a lot of like. relief right?? i have a car that works! and he’s cute!

but also new cars freak me out dude. cars should all be dumber in my opinion. why is there an ipad on a vehicle that i can also drive at 90mph??? why is it yelling at me to brake leave me alone let me brake on my own terms!!! and every single thing is electronics. and they break so often and are so expensive to fix!! and everything these days is built to break!!! it makes me so mad and angry!!!!

but also on the other hand! i feel like i understand every single rich person neuroses now. every single speck of dust on this car is tantamount to a dent on another car. if i even scratch this car i’ll be so sad bc it’s NEW! she has 10 MILES ON HER. and there’s too many features!!! how am i supposed to learn them all!! feeling very old man yells at cloud abt it all!!! like normally i am also very generous with my car! i’ll let people drive it i don’t care etc but with this one i’m feeling extremely like don’t even breathe on him actually please don’t even look in his direction. like i’m feeling insane. u know that monopoly study they do where people become more stingy the richer they get. that’s how i’m feeling.

also having some feelings about what a new car like this looks like to people idk. like what will people perceive me as???? like this wasn’t my choice!!! tbf the car market is still insane and even a slightly used car would be abt the same price tbh but. feeling like i need to process these feelings with everyone so that no one judges me for having a new car or feels weird abt my parents having the ability and willingness to help me out here. like i understand this is mostly projection bc IM feeling weird about it and wealth (lol at the thought of wealth. i’m like 40k in debt not including student loans at 29 which feels insane.) and all that but.

he’s smaller than a lot of the suv’s i’ve had before but honestly probably enough size!!!! also the car payment is so much and idk how i’m gonna afford it for 6 years. i love him so much i can’t wait to go on a million road trips now that i can trust my car won’t break down on me in the middle of the road AGAIN. i also wanna throw up whenever i look at him. i love feeling safe and cozy and playing with all the new features. if it gives me a lane warning again i’ll blow it up myself.

dualities man. here we are.

[ghostingal0ng]

3/27/24 journal ^_^

* morning :-) no weigh in today ... 😬 im making myself wait until friday. I'm convinced ive somehow gained a million pounds ...

* breakfast ☕️

oats made with coffee instead of water. these r so fucking killer i need to make them more often

* i want to go shopping sooo bad today but im too lazy to leave my house ... probably for the best bc i have no money anyway

* my dads shepherds pie for dinner . i think this is the most fucking disgusting meal on the earth. the taste is gross and the texture makes me want to barf. and i just ate a shit ton of it 🙃. i was so hungry and so fucking angry at everything that i just ate it straight out of the pan ...

* 285 + 820 = 1105

idek how much dinner was.. could be more could be less... posting this super early bc im not allowed to eat anymore today 🫶🫶🫶

[arcticmonkeysx]

Part 2!!!

Eating mindfully is perhaps the most important tip I have… so don’t do things like watch tv or go on ur phone when u eat- that’s oftentimes what leads to mindless eating and binges!! It’s very important that whenever possible, u try to be as present as u can when ur eating anything, because the more in touch with ur mind & the present moment u are, the less likely it is that u will binge. It’s very hard personally for me to binge when I’m focusing on my food. Some tips I have for mindful eating are: eat with your non dominant hand (breaks the habitual aspect of eating, makes u more present in the moment & focuses ur brain on the action of eating), close ur eyes while u eat and focus on everything u can taste (I love doing this! I’m not one to genuinely enjoy food but when I do this, I feel like it’s the closest I get to having a true appreciation for the tastes), EAT SLOWLYYY!!! Savor it! You deserve to enjoy food!!! Chew thoroughly (helps with digestion too as well as just being a nice balance in comparison to eating suuuuper fast / binging) have some sips of water or take deep breaths in between bites to ground urself, eat outside, don’t eat in bed or on the couch- i like to sit on the floor when i eat bc it personally helps me digest better but it’s also a lot harder for me to shovel in food without thought when im not laying on the bed or couch. PRACTICE GRATITUDE FOR EVERY MEAL- food is a gift, and we are so lucky to even be able to eat at all! When we binge, we don’t think about what we are truly doing like we should in the moment, and food becomes something to satisfy our cravings or emotional desires rather than something to be enjoyed, appreciated, and cherished. So saying thank you before every single thing u eat or taking a few moments to pause and quietly reflect on the gratitude ur able to have for everything u eat is super important both for being mindful and just in general! After a binge, I like to try as hard as possible to switch my mindset from negative things like “I hate myself, I’m so disgusting” etc to “I’m so grateful to even have the privilege to have so much food to be able to consume.” That personally really helps me. I also like to do light yoga after a binge or when I get the temptation to binge, I try to practice yoga to get me more grounded in the moment, or take deep breaths, go outside, journal or any other mindful activity that works for u! The most important thing is staying present in the moment and in ur body. Binging is what happens when we feel disconnected, so it’s really crucial to practice mindfulness as much as u can!! Prioritizing ur health is such an important key in preventing binges, because when u truly care about ur mental & physical wellbeing, it honestly becomes a lot harder to treat ur body like that. I don’t have specific advice on that because I think it needs to come from a place of genuine care for urself and motivation, but it’s definitely possible to achieve that. And it’s really essential to identify ur binge triggers emotionally speaking. Notice when u have thoughts of binging- does it happen when ur bored or sad or angry or anything else? Binging is the result of emotional imbalance and it’s sooo key to get to the root of that in order to prevent them! Identifying food triggers is also very important but I would say is secondary to the emotional roots.

Though it might sound impossible, try and not be too hard on urself if u do binge, we are all human and these things happen! It’s all part of the experience and we’re just honestly so lucky to even be here at all.. every day is a gift that many did not get to receive and if nothing else, try to be grateful for that :) I hope this helped some and I really am wishing u all the best and remember that breaking the habit of binging is not something that will likely happen overnight, so just take it easy on urself and give urself the grace that u can, because any effort to improve is worth celebrating!

Also, PLEASE only take what applies to u and leave what doesn’t. I can only speak from my own personal experience and though I believe a lot of this is pretty universally sound, what works for u is going to end up being entirely personal and dependent on ur own life and ur body! Idk ur health history but if u have a history of anything like diabetes or other illnesses then definitely please double check me on some of the specific foods I recommended - it’s also good to fact check info too. I’m human & don’t know everything! I just know what’s helped me and I’m hoping it can help you too. All the best!

Love, 🤍

thank you so much 🥹

[utopianparody]

Journal having possible BPD; an analysis

you read the title, im going to write on why i think Journal from PPT2 has traits of borderline personality disorder bc im very normal about this character and i like to study him like an ant (also i have bpd myself)

NOTES:

i already wrote down a thread on twitter so this is like a repost here

pwBPD stands for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, im typing this since im going to use the short version of said phrase

----------------------------

1) impulsive actions

knowing that Journal had an important task to stop Mr. Hand from escaping, it's no doubt that he would commit risks (even unplanned) to do his work, including;

- forcing himself to stay up to the point he barely had any sleep

- getting himself wet in the rain (since paper-based objects shouldnt be out on the water for too long)

- breaking relationships with others

there are other actions that i might have missed but these are the ones i could remember. in case you do not know, impulsivity is very common within pwBPD.

while things like consuming drugs and unsafe sexual intercourse arent included in the above list (i mean, ofc, this show doesn't contain adult themes especially when majority of its fanbase are minors), damaging positive relationships is part of this impulsivness.

2) unstable realtionships / splitting

as said before, Journal had seen breaking his positive relationships with others, notably with Treasure Chest and Post-It Note, over something they had said or did once.

that being TC with his immunity token and Post-It wanting to take a break from work, in which causes him to lash out on them for those reasons above. he was also seen acting negatively towards Ukulele and Bubble Wrap.

Journal's actions above can be similar to splitting (a BPD-exclusive term in which pwBPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white), and it may contribute to relationships not being stable. it is possible for splitting episodes to be triggered from minor events or inconveniences (as said about TC and Post-It above)

3) intense emotions

Journal was seen to be more irritable as episodes went by, as his recent behavior include being bitter towards someone and having to easily lash out. he was also seen having fights and arguments with others characters, especially with Treasure Chest ever since episode 9 until 12.

One of the symptoms of BPD is that a person rapidly changes their emotions and even often.

he does not only have intense anger, but as well as intense fear or paranoia, and because of his stress-related paranoia, he feels more intensely than the others do.

4) psychosis

Journal is canonically psychotic as he had hallucinations shown on-screen twice. his hallucinations caused him to become more paranoid or, as in the recent episode, have a panic attack.

some pwBPD may likely have psychotic symptoms, although not common, it can still be possible.

5) favorite person

Journal likely has Post-It Note as his favorite person (fp for short). He seems to have a alot of trust with Post-It since he was the only one who tried to understand his struggles and is wiling to help Journal out on his work.

although, since episode 11, after Post-It Note said that he wanted to relax fron work for a bit and calmly told him to calm down, Journal got devistated and got angry at him for it, so he distanced himself from Post-It Note and continues to work by himself without his help.

"how would this tie to him having an fp?"

in some cases, pwBPD tend to put high (mostly unachievable) standards for their fp(s), and if those standards arent met, they will start splitting and push their fp(s) away for it.

even Journal's standard put on Post-It Note isnt as ridiculously high, Journal did lash out on him for not meeting it and this did end up hurting both parties at the end.

----------------------------

conclusion:

because of how his behavior connect to BPD symptoms listed above (there might be more that i might have missed), he is likely (if not heavily) implied to have borderline personality disorder

[divorcingjimmatthews]

season 2 episode 5 reactions as i watch

huge spoilers obviously

(this is mostly for myself to have somewhere to scream as i go, its LONG AF youve been warned)

RANDALL IS SCARING ME SO MUCH LIKE PLEASE DONT BANG ON STUFF WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY MAKE THE TALISMAN FALL I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK WITH THIS SCENE. RANDALL STOP STOP STOP YOURE GOING TO DIE DUDE

(straight up cant watch the rest of the episode because i paused it and cant bring myself to unpause lmaooo. from ends here for me i guess)

ok its over thank god

JADE STOP DRINKING SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN. hes even sleeping with the fucking journal like please he needs 20 interventions

also dammit he actually moved to the bar i accidentally manifested it LMAO

can the show please stop torturing this man with the hallucinations please and thank you

TABITHA IS IN MAMA WOLF MODE LETS GO

boyd defending sara... knowing what happened to his wife and what she did... oh man. this hurts. knowing tabitha also lost a child before turns the intensity of all this to eleven millions

LMAO ok someone calling tabitha out for her basement hole and its consequences at long last. i love tabitha but like it has to be acknowledged

"That part i cant help you with" dang Good Line

honestly cant even imagine how sara is feeling i dont know what id be doing in her situation like just watching it stresses me so much.

ETHAN BABY :'(((( im sobbing

KRISTI IS SO PRETTY oh my god i am so bisexual right now. she cant just do this. the shirtttt. i think im seeing the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world

dhsjfhsh marielle doing the same thing with the shirt that i had the reader do in my fic i cant even

"For a long time it smelled like you. Now it just smells" i laughed so hard

"Youre still you" 🥺

SARA GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU TRYING TO GET K oh yeah wait she probably is

oh its her house ok god i thought she'd gone to the matthews'

NEW HOUSE WHO DIS

cant belive an extra got one of the few houses this is so funny to me for no reason

this scene gosh. ouch. ouch. im taking 2 damage per second watching this episode

JADE. the bottles. jade my beloved this is point of no return level stuff. mrs Liu please come get him home

VICTOR

victoooor

"You dont look good" im losing it

thank you victor

victor 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him. the sweetest

JADE IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU DONT BE LIKE THISSS

"WAIT" i fucking cant i love this man

"This took me all fucking night" jade never stop being the funniest mf on the planet please

jim calling tabitha tabby is so sweet it got me

"Faith. In you" oh boy. Oh man. Oh boy oh man. This scene. How is this show hitting every singe fucking note.

donna brought up abby omgomg

OK BUT CAN YOU BLAME HIM FOR WANTING TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE THIS TIME

(maybe)

(arghhhh this is so hard)

"only monsters live in the woods" ethan i love everything you say. go my boy

(sara voice) okay

"The trees theyre changing" i love how victor is 100% harmless but could NOT be any more ominous lmaooo

CAR GRAVEYARD

"When i was alone i moved the cars because i didnt want to see them. Theres a lot more behind the rocks but those were already here" GODDAMMIT

no but victor is literally the sweetest man on earth. you were rightfully angry victor !! jade now you apologise.

"okay" ill kill him

victor sitting on the car 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im going to cry

what a scene. my god.

SARA HAS ONLY BEEN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS?

"Do you live here in town" ELGIN i love you

poor julie if she knew her crush is out there flirting with the local murderer

"I like what i like and i like owls" based. thats me writing 300 jade posts per day

oh boy this scene (me about every scene)

"THAT PART ALWAYS SEEMED A BIT LIKE WISHFUL THINKING TO ME" im. ill be processing for 3 years

"Did you do something that needs forgiving?" elgin my sweet boy

jim rightly proud of his badass kid

"you put hate inside me" :'(

is she gonna give her her stuff damn shes too nice

a part of me is feeling like shes gonna smash it tho lmao

SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU MRS LIU

i am starting to assume that everyone forgot about tobey so jade is never even gonna know that it was sara lmao

KENNY

oh my god kenny

im hurt seeing him so hurt

TOWNSPEOPLE CAN WE GIVE KENNY A BREAK OVER HERE PLEASE WHAT R U STARING AT HES VERY RIGTHFULLY MAD HE HAS EVERY RIGHT

oh elgin

elgin youre too sweet

elginnnnn

everyones gonna hate you elgin 😭😭😭 i am suffering for you

KRISTI BECAME EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS NOT A DRILL

now please do jade

"KRISTI WHERE ARE YOU GOING BABY STOP"

KRISTI NO NO NOOOOOO

i love her so much

"People liked him, then he changed" dont do this to me

"I am at the end of my rope" oh god

TABITHA??????

holy fucking shit im going to die of heart attack

this doesnt have captions i dont know what the creepy ghost children are saying

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING I WISHED TABITHA AND JADE WOULD INTERACT AND LOOK AT THIS NOW

i knew jim would not vote box lets goo

BOYD WHY

Randall ????

OKAY that tabitha and marielle scene from last episode was bothering me so much i cant believe i didnt think of this

what an episode my god

[ankhisms]

realizing that my very close friend who id known for almost 10 years stopping talking to me for no reason and only really talking to me recently to basically say "im at a party with my new friends who are better than you" has in fact had negative effects on my mental health

god i need to get a diary/journal i know i could benefit from one bc theres more personal stuff i dont really want to get into online/stuff about my body image and self esteem issues that i dont want to post about online but i dont have money to get pne and dont have any empty spare notebooks lying around to use so anyway. realizing that since he suddenly stopped talking to me (again, for no reason. ive wracked my brain trying to figure out ANY possible reason we were not fighting we did not have any disagreement everything was normal our relationship was normal he just stopped responding to me one day and wouldnt respond when i asked him if he was ok bc i was genuinely worried we talked every day for years and didnt respond when i asked about what was going on) my paranoia regaurding people i know secretly hating me or becoming very angry at me very suddenly and wanting me dead or just wanting to ignore me and never talk to me again has gotten a lot worse. and it sucks because i struggle with paranoia about other things that i wont get into but it feels like this specific paranoia can be the hardest for me to shake off because it stems from how my abuser treated me and my unstable home environmeny from past toxic friendships/situations where people i was around werent necessarily abusive but they certainly were toxic and fucked me up from how they treated me. so when i try to soothe myself theres a part of me that goes. but its happened before. it happened before and it can happen again. and now with this my brain is like SEE! IT HAPPENED AGAIN. IT HAPPENED AGAIN WITH THE FRIEND WHO YOU THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER. IT HAPPENED WITH SOMEONE WHO STILL MEANS THE WORLD TO YOU. and then i feel bad about being mad about it on some levels because i still want to give him the benefit of the doubt but also its like. we are both 24 fucking years old we are adults. if you are mad at me or if you have an issue with me you need to bring it up to me. i am not a mind reader if youre upset with me i want you to actually TELL ME so we can work things out. i respected him enough to be ready to do that if he upset me and i expected the same from him. and its just like im too tired to deal with people who arent going to tell me when theyre mad with me or to be upfront about an issue they have with me. im too tired. it also fucks me up that like. he knows about all my issues just like i know about his. and he knew about these specific paranoias i have and knows about how much it hurts me to be ignored and he still did this all. anyway tldr i am trying so hard to not freak out ❤️ thanks if u read this all mwah

[persimminwrites]

That self ship tag of you and Fives being together 50+ years is so cute 🥺 I don't have a headcanon for that but would love to hear if you have more 🤩

omG I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT MORE

fives x min is definitely the sunshine character x grumpy character trope on the surface where fives is of course sunshine and i am the grump. irl, i come off as very intimidating and grumpy and have resting 'ill murder you face' and i tend to be drawn to people who are outwardly the opposite. HOWEVER, on the inside and around ppl im comfortable with, im much more like how i present myself online. and i believe that fives when he's around someone he's comfortable with would allow himself to be more serious and contemplative in addition to being his goofy, lovable, talkative self

i think that if i met fives, our first interaction wouldn't be amazing. potentially i would come off as cold and i think that fives would take that as a challenge to get me to open up. and eventually it would work bc i am not immune to goofballs. in fact i would say i specifically love goofballs so much that im instantly drawn to them even if i try to hide it. eventually we'd become friends and one thing would lead to another and we'd realize "shit i love this idiot" and since im a firm believer that fives once he knows what he wants will do whatever it takes to get it (im also like that) there wouldnt be any pining or drawn out will they wont they. it would just be 'hey i like you' 'cool me too' 'nice' and that's that

i believe that fives is a really good communicator and is incredibly in touch with his feelings (or at least if he's feeling confused would want to sit down and talk through his feelings) and those are both really incredible traits to find in a partner. communication imo is key for a long lasting relationship. i think we would have arguments of course bc every relationship has those but at the end of the day we would never go to bed angry at each other.

i think fives would be the best partner (i have many thoughts about this like thousands of words of thoughts) and would bring out the best in me. he would help me open up and relax and laugh at life when i feel like i cant. and i think i would ground him and be someone he draws strength and comfort from. im personally an acts of service love language girlie (both giving and receiving love) and i think fives would love to do things for the person he loves but he would personally value physical touch and words of affirmation as ways of receiving love

i think we would be best friends and value our friendship as much as our romantic relationship. i think we'd do so many things together from something as mundane as going to the grocery store to going to concert together to planning trips together so that we can experience the world (galaxy?) together. i think i'd teach him how to cook and he would learn to bake and we'd bond over food. but just as much as we would do things together, i think we would be comfortable and happy having space for ourselves.

if this is irl, i think fives' hobbies would include learning how to play an instrument (personally i think he'd like to learn how to play the guitar) and he'd like to go hiking and take pictures of nature and document things he finds in nature in a journal (like little sketches of plants and animals). i think he and echo would go whitewater rafting and backpacking. and as i already mentioned i think fives would get really into baking.

if this is star wars universe and we're in a post war galaxy where clones have recognized rights and are free to live their life as citizens of the republic (bc i want to be happy this am) i think fives would still love baking, but i think his post war job could be a couple of things. he could go to school and study ecology and either become a teacher ( i think he would be a great teacher sOBS) or would become a scientist that goes to different planets to documents and study different species of flora.

we wouldn't get married in any traditional sense. but we would be together for 50+ years as i said and get sappier and more silly as life goes on aND YEAH

SORRY I WROTE A LITERAL ESSAY UL BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING BLOWING YOU SO MANY KISSES MWUAH <3333

[astroyongie]

https://www.tumblr.com/astroyongie/715950419033063424/no-but-yongie-im-sorry-if-asking-you-is-a-bit?source=share

Man I'm not the mommy anon from this post, I'm the why are you angry all the time anon and this explanation here hit me sooo hard!! Idk if this could help mommy anon as well but I try my best not to engage with people that say things that could trigger my fight or flight response.

For example I'm very passionate about issues related to the environment, mental health especially the autism spectrum, sexism, racism, homeless people and less wealthy ones etc so whenever people mention something that goes against my values and ideas I usually try to have a proper conversation with them, mostly in a passive aggressive way I'm sorry I can't help it, if I'm not very familiar with them, or I completely attack them with my words if it's a family member or a well known person. Recently I've noticed that reacting like this does absolutely zero good for my own health, so I'm trying my best to accept the fact that not everyone will have the same ideas as me and it's not my responsibility to educate them (although if your ideas are related to being hateful towards a group of people I still think you're a bitch but I won't say it out loud).

My thing is (especially when it comes to friends that might have opposite values about random topics) that I'm the therapy friend, idk if it's because I'm straightforward but it's a role I've always had (people I meet for the first time also open up to me about personal problems, I can't really understand why). So when people talk to me about something and ask for my advice and then do another thing, maybe more harmful I get mad because I care about them and I don't like seeing how they treat themselves poorly, especially in love. But everyone has their own path and if they have to go through terrible relationships to understand their worth I can't really help it.

Being crafty, logging off of social media and spending more time with myself through journaling and meditation has also helped me a lot! Let's go aries placements people we'll get through this!!! (This rant is bigger than I expected I'm sorry yongs)

Thank you for sharing this ! ✨✨

[goodlucktai]

ANON TIMEEEEE WOO! omg. your work means the world to me, and has inspired me so so so much- i always worry about being overwhelming in your tags but i just have so!!!! much!!!! love!!!! for!!!! your!!!! work!!!!

you strike me as such a Good Vibe, too- im always happy to see you talk about anything good that happens to you, bc you just seem like such a sweetheart.

on a more personal note, idk how to phrase this without sounding ridiculous but theres something in your writing that resonates So Clearly with me that it feels like the universe LED me to it. the way you describe emotions... those are my emotions. especially mikey. his love and joy and anger and protectiveness feel so much like my own, and to see him be supported and loved and understood in your stories has helped me come to terms with those things in myself. the piece about leo being suspicious about woody.... hoooo boy, mikey's anger in the first section struck a chord deep in my chest. stronger than rereading my own journals, sometimes.

your mikey helps me accept the parts of me im less fond of (anger, primarily) and makes me want to nurture the better parts (kindness, loving nature) that get a little scuffed up by life sometimes. your work came to me when i was very, very angry, and has been a quiet murmur of "its okay" through more than one dark day, and i cant thank you enough for sharing it with the world. i dont know if its as personal for you to write as its been for me to read, but it feels so genuine that i suspect some of it comes from a very personal place, and im so grateful you're willing to share that.

this means so much to me i don’t know what to say

i’m bad at expressing myself so i use my writing to do that and a message like this makes me think i’m doing a pretty good job. in some small way you understand me and i understand you 💗

i’m glad u’ve gained something from my stories & i hope you keep taking care of yourself