#im so excited and a little scared to see how everyone develops throughout the rest of the game

[roaringheat]

ANOTHER THING is I am absolutely obsessed with the way the gang's relationships with each other evolve so naturally throughout the game whether for better or for worse. I've only just started chapter 4 but seeing them grow and have problems or resolve them over a long period of time is so impressive... literally no other game compares to that level of effort and writing

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

Okay so continued from this ask about Kyoko

Anyways, as introduced in THH, Kyoko is an extremely distant person with an iron mask, which intimidates everyone around her.

Everytime she happens to be described, she is described as something akin to a ghost aka not someone belonging to this world because of how ethereal her presence is.

She was moulded (read: traumatized) by her grandpa to become a detective to the extent that she was desperate to prove herself to him to not get kicked out like her father (she was also manipulated into believing that her father left because he didn't care about her by said grandpa) since her grandpa was...well the only one who had showed her a proper modicum of love at that point.

Her family took being a detective as something involving an extreme amount of honour which resulted in her trauma.

She also... didn't know what she was apart from a "perfect Detective" and was terrified of that internally (she has a LOT of parallels with Nagito which is why I REALLY want them to team up atleast ONCE likedanganronpaIambeggingyou), since she felt like an empty husk due to repressing her emotions since forever.

Because that's how a true detective should be (...it's really scary how MUCH she fits my own ideal of a detective), operating by cold hard logic to uncover the truth from the messy web of lies and make it known. A detective was to not take sides, nor aspire for fame (coughSherlockHolmescough), they must always remain neutral and not let personal feelings or prejudices come into the way, and she followed that.

Now, in the first game (I assume it was the worst for her since all she knew about herself was simply that she's a detective), everyone loses their memories of their school life with each other, leading them to believe that they had just met. They all remember their Ultimate Talents (heads up: An Ultimate Talent is something that you must be the very best at in your particular field in your age group. If you are like that, then Hope's Peak Academy personally scouts you and you are invited to attend the school as an "Ultimate"), apart from Kyoko.

Yeah, she quite possibly forgot that she was a detective, or atleast she forgot that she was the Ultimate of it, nevertheless, the main source of her self confidence and rigidity was lost to vague memory, which I believe caused her closed off ness to be more exaggerated, since I believe she was TERRIFIED. Imagine the one thing you stake your identity on....which you end up forgetting.

Throughout the game, she basically carries the class trials by herself and is virtually the only reason the six survivors are actually survivors.

However due to her upbringing, she has another issue which happens to be...

....severe trust issues. She has been told not to trust anyone and considering that they are in a literal KILLING GAME, you really can't blame her.

However, this leads to her downfall.

In Chapter 3, she disappears since she has presumably found a secret passage in the bathroom which she was investigating along with the school to find the secret of the Killing Game and the mastermind. She refuses to trust her classmates and shoulders the entire responsibility onto herself, since she desperately wants to uncover the truth....

.....her motto which she has been clinging onto for dear life, underneath all the turmoil.

Makoto (our sweet sweet protagonist, the nicest person ever in Danganronpa) notices this and gently tells her that she can rely on him....that she doesn't have to shoulder everything by herself. He doesn't act pushy, he just tells her that it's okay for her to trust people since she literally looked dazed when she came back in Chapter 3, and she goes,

"Okay, I will give this trusting people thing a try."

She then trusts him with the secret of the bathroom hidden passage but he ends up getting attacked and in bed. F.

Anyways, that causes him to become the target of the mastermind.

Now Kyoko, apparently due to her training is capable of hearing "Reaper's footsteps" aka she can "hear" when her or someone she really loves's death is close.

Now, when Makoto nearly gets killed by the mastermind, Kyoko hears it and fights them off. The mastermind had been planning to kill Makoto and frame her as his killer which she realised so she stays at his room until she's sure the danger has passed.

Anyways, she obviously leaves and then the rest of the classmates discover a dead body whose mask they try to take off but it explodes and Makoto notices that they are dressed the same way as his attacker was. Kyoko arrives way late which makes him wonder whether she had killed that person or not.

Fast forward to the trial where she says that it's now or never for her.

Anyways.

What we have to remember about Kyoko is her MAIN motivation aka solving the mystery. She wouldn't hesitate to make sacrifices to get to it. She is dedicated to her job.

[We also have to remember that she spent her life travelling from place to place, always shifting schools, causing a lack of proper attachments. The only attachment she had was her grandpa until she met Yui Samidare who dies pretty soon during a case via self sacrifice for Kyoko in a way. During all this, her motto and her dedication to it were the only constants].

Anyways.

The mastermind attempted to frame Kyoko for that particular dead body, but Kyoko manipulated the whole trial and framed Makoto as the culprit instead to save her own life.

Makoto gets sent to the execution but doesn't die since his Ultimate Luck talent saves him and he gets thrown into a trash dumpster.

Kyoko comes to save him and apologises. A small sign of trust since she literally never does that. Makoto was virtually the only one she trusted since despite her frosty exterior, he tried to get to know her, but didn't push and just gave her space......and said trust in her backfired and caused him to nearly die but anyways—.

At that point, Kyoko has remembered her Ultimate Talent (Ultimate Detective) and she trusts Makoto with that. She further trusts Makoto with telling him about her frustrations against her father. She didn't even admit them to herself until much much later.....and she trusts him enough to say that.....

....maybe because of how easily he forgave her but eh—

Anyways, she finds her father's skeleton in a nice little box, gift wrapped and everything which causes her to lose her composure ever so slightly and Makoto leaves to give her space to collect herself.

~~~~~

Even though the first game was essentially Hope VS Despair, it was also about Trust.

Since if you do not trust in the feeling of Hope, you will fall into despair.

Something we can see with Kirigiri in a way.

Kyoko being a detective is possibly the best way to broach the topic of trust, since lies and truth are directly connected to it.

If you are truthful with someone, then that usually means that you trust them.

Kyoko's motto was to remain neutral and without biases which caused her to actually develop a bias, nearly getting her best friend killed.

She wanted to solve the mystery and uncover the truth, however she also realised that without trusting others with some modicum of the truth, she wouldn't be able to do so.

When she arrives at the very end of Goodbye Despair in the 6th trial, it's nice to see her relationship with trust having grown enough to give the Remnants a second chance by trusting that they would be able to find the core truth inside themselves to break free from the lies crafted by the mastermind's brainwashing.

Hajime finds his own truth and decides to go "fuck this, I will make my OWN future" due to this.

[She ALSO finds out that her father was involved in Hajime's inhumane brainwashing which probably just destroyed her last bit of trust towards Hope's Peak Academy but eh].

In DR3, when she holds Naegi's hand with her ungloved burnt hands, it's a symbol of HOW much her trust has grown in order for her to bare her wounds like this to reach to him and pull him out of his own despair.

In conclusion: She's the best person ever and deserves the world

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHE SAW A WRAPPED GIFT OF HER FATHER'S SKELETON AND 'LOST HER COMPOSURE SLIGHTLY'???!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.

also she sounds creepily like you and kinda like me too this is so weird also she had daddy issues vibes I KNEW IT

Also i was so irrationally excited at the prospect of a nagito and kyoko pairing like its not like id be able to read it anyways but then i realised. it would be VERY similar to the sheep scene in loki. the sheer xNTx vibes my GOD.

also this is pretty much what happened to nico too and im scared of how we kin such similar characters im terrified

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 35 - Thelma & Louise (1991) dir. Ridley Scott

15/05/2020

This was my first time seeing this film — I’d never seen it before, didn’t know what happened even though apparently everyone knows the end, all I knew was that it was a sort of buddy movie and it won best picture in ’91. I was very excited and good god I was not disappointed

- “you a little young to be smoking? it lowers your sex drive” *lights up*

- the premise of this feels a little like American honey. Terrible home life for one of the main characters and she just runs away 

- I literally always forget how fit Susan Sarandon is. Who gave her the right

- the south scares the absolute shit out of me. however, I would love to go dancing in a country bar as long as I wasn’t hate crimed

- the scene with thelma and Harlan was well done in the sense that I felt physically sick watching it. Also I was glad that it didn’t get to the point where he actually raped her, and we got small details like him kicking her feet wider because that added to a real horrible sense of dread and we know that he would have done it if Louise hadn’t come in with the gun. 

- “I’m in deep shit, Jimmy, Deep Shit, Arkansas.”

- I love the fact that thelma just had her entire suitcase with her while she was sunbathing. Also appreciated the details in that scene like her scuffed feet and the bruises on her knees because it was super consistent with what we’d seen so far. And I don’t like it when things are shiny especially in stuff like this

- good god brad Pitt is so sexy in this

- can’t cope with the guy doing curls when their car was getting filled up

- “How come you never told me about what happened to you in Texas?!” TRAUMA BABIE

- a really big part of me wants to be brad Pitt’s character in this. I want to be a polite cowboy who helps women realise they deserve more than they think they do. Maybe not the mass shoplifting and stealing vast amounts of money from said women, but

- geena Davis and brad Pitt’s chemistry was… impeccable. They acted the scenes they had together so well and even their sex scene was almost endearing because when jd was kissing down thelma’s stomach she said “wait” and he did and he rested his chin on her and they just looked at each for a bit before launching into that whole bit and even something as small as that made the whole thing feel like the both of them were really into what was going on

- when we realised that jd had taken their money it was one of the more heartbreaking moments in the film, cos he seemed legit. It was quite funny actually, when that reveal happened my mum said “it’s bad that he took all their money, but at least he gave thelma a good time. And that’s important”. We ended up having an unexpected but nice discussion on the importance of women’s pleasure

- watching thelma rob the store was easily one of the most entertaining things, and it was ace to see her character develop over the course of the film

- “there’s no such thing as justifiable robbery” “where’d you get this?” “stole it”

- i loved how thelma just said “ok” when Louise said that she wasn’t talking about Texas. She told her to drop it and she did and just said “it’s ok”. She didn’t apologise for asking because then it puts something on Louise to forgive her 

- the hold up with the police officer was one of the politest things id ever seen and it wasn’t out of either of their characters at this point. Thelma was more confident and probably drunk and basically channelling jd at this point and Louise was the one following her lead so it was an almost complete role reversal from the beginning which I loved

- acab apart from Harvey keitel

- the way that their appearances changed throughout the film was so interesting. At the start Thelma was kind of frothy and buzzy and gradually she became almost hardened by all that had happened but she didn’t lose the essence of her character. Her hair changed and her face seemed to get darker and almost more weathered but not in a way that beat her down, in a way that made her stronger. And louise looked different as well — they both picked up memorabilia on the way so by the end they’re both wearing hats from the people who have hurt them and Louise has the cop’s sunglasses. She changes as well but she also learns from thelma in a way that we wouldn’t have expected her to at the beginning of the film. The final lorry driver scene had this in that they were playing off each other and Louise was remembering how thelma handled the nazi police officer

- the locations were spectacular

- i guess one of the things that this films about is how much people can stand until they can’t stand it anymore. The recurring theme of the god awful truck driver is a really good example of this because the first two times they see him, first they yell at him, then they ignore him because they’re on the run from the law, and then when they meet him again they blow up his truck because it was too much. he’d gone too far every time, it wasn’t like the last time was any worse than the times before, but this time they’d decided they couldn’t let him pass them by

- it was a really nice bit of comedic relief having the guy on the bike and the “oh my god he’s a nazi” police officer

- the car chase in this is one of the better ones id seen. And the shot of all the cars following them from high up? i’m absolutely reeling

- i nearly shit myself when they almost drove right over the edge and then the helicopter came up. 

- oh my god speaking of the hats they blew off both their heads when the helicopter came up and they didn’t put them back on ! In that moment they’re stripped of any of the armour they’ve gathered over the course of what’s happened and it’s just them without any of the other stuff so they’re the most vulnerable we’ve seen them for a while

- when I first saw it I really wasn’t expecting the end and it still hit me a lot second time round. Nearly welled up a bit at the bit where Harvey keitel was running after their car in slow motion

- I was just talking to my mum about this and we both thought it was interesting how the story so easily could have been the sexual assault, and while the story wouldnt go the way that it would if Harlan hadn't almost raped thelma, the story doesn't become the trauma, it’s so much more layered than that

- i love this film. Im really glad it gets clout and im pleased that there can be films directed by men that are about women and that are done really really well. Please watch it

[seongwhy]

ateez reaction the their crush making the first move

hongjoong

hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!

he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u

unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!

but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)

you decided you had to make the first move

but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out

just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs

so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit

and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing

and so does his !!

and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made

and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil

and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN

IM CRYING

and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just

'o-oh thank you' he says

and u smile at him and ask him to show you more

he takes a second to recover but blushes even more

and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing

so u do

but he doesnt

seonghwa

seonghwa tries his best ok

he just really likes you

so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you

like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit

thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that

but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down

'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'

but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam

and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around

and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed

and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'

anyway after that it was just so obvious

youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast

but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks

and you honestly like the attention he gives you

and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth

you cant resist him

so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself

and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'

and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.

and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'

and hes like ,,, right

and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you

so he sits obviously sweating

and you're watching this show and hes watching you

with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil

and after a bit you look at him

and you're looking at each other

and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it

hes taken aback at first but leans into it

and you're a rlly good kisser

then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen

'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'

'just kiss me again dummy'

yunho

puppy!! lil baby boy!!!

ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now

and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno

but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything

the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'

like.... they told u sis

and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr

and you slap him across the chest for that last part but

wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????

'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'

blind w love babyyyyyyyy

this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer

you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)

and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him

tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing

and he immediately kisses you back

no hesitation

but then

'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head

you both blush and turn to look at each other

yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'

'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe

yeosang

ok dis man loves his chocolate

and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch

bc you LIKE HIM

and u want him to LIKE YOU

and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right

but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)

so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings

and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try

and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'

'yes !! all for u yeosangie'

he just looks as you in awe and love

and picks up a fork ready to take a bite

he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips

and you blush but laugh

and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD

and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'

'what?? you dont like it'

'nonononono I LOVE IT'

and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight

'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes

'youre amazing' you say

'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'

',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'

hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his

he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'

'I had to get you to shut up somehow'

yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'

',,, get out mingi'

san

bruh yunho looks so funny wtf

sannie is such a happy boy :(

his life goal is making you laugh or smile

he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!

and that's why you fell for him

and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks

san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that

n e way

yall get along rlly well

hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night

and someone chooses a horror movie

its scawwy

and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie

through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy

and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen

but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing

when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would

so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong

he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you

so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again

this time he just looks at you

'I'm sorry' he says

'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'

'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'

his head hangs and he sighs

you lift his head and kiss him slightly

'its ok' you whisper

instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours

you kiss him again

and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands

and by the end of it hes shyly smiling

'there it is!! theres my boy'

he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch

that day it was up to you make him smile

and you did !!!

mingi

mingo mango

the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him

hes always whining for you whenever you're not

and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever

'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'

freakin hilarious

this is something u love making fun of him for

liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?

and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer

but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him

at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him

and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis

and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'

and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi

and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you

'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night

'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'

and you roll your eyes because . idiot

but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'

and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice

'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back

and kiss you he does

wooyoung

ok so wooyoungie and u

have such blatant chemistry

yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click

but u dont notice it

I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u

but all that does is confuse you

one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'

and you're like ...huh

yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'

and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head

a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis

and you turn firetruck red

yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'

wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on

'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling

you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that

but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him

and he asks what you wanna do for the night

but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have

wooyoung asks if you're okay

and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes

so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do

wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room

'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'

'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him

you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again

so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung

and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung

u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend

'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'

'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'

you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out

'y/n?'

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'

'uh for u? always'

blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call

once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically

wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'

you basically jump on him and kiss him hard

you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist

when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips

you smile back and say 'that was the rush'

wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him

'took you long enough'

jongho

jongho cant believe u two have met

you're one of his favourite new idols

and you met at a show

and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was

blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music

you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever

so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about

and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave

you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime

and you do

all the time

at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh

but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke

you guys catch each other up on everything

he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you

and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute

and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him

and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you

he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'

jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red

'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye

so you lean in and kiss him

'it's not a joke' you say

'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'

'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'

jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.”  [anon] 

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.”  [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind​

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown​]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased​

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”  

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate! 

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj​

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased​

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[boethiahsboytoy]

IN DEPTH TES OC QUESTIONS: VYRTHAAL. (((if you dont feel like going for all of them, then pick your favs cos i know thats a long list but im excited to hear what you will share for the boi)))

I’m gonna do ‘em all >:3c Also thank u omg I’m so excited that Anyone’s interested in him ;w; Side note, occasionally I’ll mention Marzog who’s an orc created by @elderscrelders that found Vyr when he was hidden away and raised him, as well as Sinarwyn (aka Sina) who’s my newest OC; a former knight-paladin of Auri-El that joined Marzog and Vyrthaal on their travels when the town she once lived in was destroyed by the Thalmor. 

Under a cut, RIP mobile users!

1) It’s a little unreasonable for everyone in a Middle Ages-esque fantasy to be perfectly literate, and writing with quills was considered legitimate labor! How well can your oc read and/or write? How detailed is their quest log/journal, if they keep one at all?

Vyrthaal’s parents made sure he could read and write, but unfortunately when he’s found by Marzog he can only read and write in ancient Falmer so.....doesn’t really help him much lmao. So he’s learning! He does keep a rather detailed journal, though he doesn’t write in it daily--I’d imagine he doesn’t really have time for that. But he writes in it as much as he can.

2) How educated is your oc? Did their parents teach them, did they have a tutor or were they apprenticed to a master, or did they attend a university? What university? What are they educated in? How long did their education take? (Learned skills like blacksmithing count here too!)

Vyr was nobility, so his parents wanted to make sure he was a highly educated boy. Since there’s not any lore I could find on snow elf education I’ve been kind of bullshitting everything about this BUT I headcanon that upper class mer like him would be trained by private tutors that are masters in their subject(s). When he’s later taken in by Marzog he of course is trained in blacksmithing once he’s settled in (and it helps him stop focusing on the trauma of seeing his home attacked and destroyed etc. etc.), as well as how to fight. When Sina joins them, she teaches him to hunt.

3) Does your oc have any kind of crafting skills that either aren’t in-game or don’t have as much importance in-game as they would in real life? (For example, can your oc sew or weave, etc? Are they skilled in any kind of art? Can they make jewelry or work glass? Are they musicians? etc)

Marzog taught him how to make clothes and do things like embroidery! He uses his new skills to try and recreate snow elf attire so there’s a whole orc stronghold that, when they’re not in their armor, wear elegant and pretty robes ;u; @elderscrelders​ says that Marzog would like to weave tapestries, and I think Vyrthaal would try to learn too. He wouldn’t be incredible at it, but he’d still like it! He’d also enjoy painting, and most definitely decorates the armor that the orcs in his stronghold wear uwu

4) What pantheon does your oc worship? If they worship the Cyrodiilic/Imperial pantheon, does that include Talos? If they secretly worship Talos, how do they justify hiding it?  

I haven’t given a lot of thought to this but UESP says that the snow elves have their own pantheon. Vyrthaal certainly would have worshipped them as a child, but after being found by Marzog and becoming a part of orc society, he’d feel a connection to Malacath as well. 

5) How religious is your oc? Do they come into conflict with others over their beliefs? If their patron deity told them to do something extremely undesirable or against their moral compass, would they do it? Would your oc sell someone’s soul for a corn chip?

Malacath is his Dad.

That being said, he wouldn’t follow an order from any god he worships if they told him to do something against his moral code, but he’d be scared about doing so lmao. 

6) Does your oc have a family of origin? How many members of their FoO are still living? Do they have a good relationship? How much contact does your oc have with their FoO? How in-the-loop is your oc’s FoO about your oc’s being Dragonborn/HoK/Nerevarine?

*laughs nervously* Uh. No. But while they were alive, Vyr’s parents were distant and not at all there for him emotionally so he didn’t have a great relationship with him. I don’t really see the point in developing them beyond that but I’d imagine they wouldn’t like the idea of him being a Dragonborn? That or use him to like...gain more power, or something. 

Marzog’s stronghold on the other hand loves him like he’s one of their own, and Marzog is an amazing mom. He can trust everyone in his new family to help him when he needs it and to be supportive. With Sina he pretty much Immediately develops a close familial bond with since they’re two of the last remaining snow elves alive and she understands a lot of his feelings in a way that no one else really can, as much as they’d try to.

7) What social class was your oc born into? Did they change classes at all? How?

Oh whoops I already mentioned this :’3 His parents were fairly high-ranking nobles. Marzog’s mother was the healer and the one that would communicate with Malacath for their stronghold. So Marzog herself is fairly important, but not like. A chief’s daughter. So as her son, that would make him kind of important? But he’s also the Designated Babey.

8) How politically active is your oc? Are they obviously influential, or is their influence more subtle?

He’s.....he’s 13. Even if he did try to be politically active, I don’t think anyone would actually listen to him. Jarl Balgruff might because he seems like the sort that would, but other than that...yeah, no. He also wouldn’t be too interested in politics as an adult aside from making people Stop attacking the Falmer, and giving the Reachmen their land back. He’d be on good terms with Madanach tho, if that counts!

9) What unplayable faction would/did your oc join, if any? Why?

Do the Falmer count? Because unlike Gelebor he’d want to connect with them and make an active effort to try to help them--and he does with Kili’s clan! And as I mentioned he’d help the Forsworn, so them too I think. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any more, I think those r the only things relevant to Vyr anyway??

10) How trustworthy is your oc? Would they ever change opposing factions?

Absolutely not, Vyr is a ride or die. The only exception would be if he would be pushed to doing something seriously fucked up. A Trustworthy Boy.

11) What is your oc’s main source of income, if they have one besides plundering tombs and adventuring? If they’re mercenaries, are they part of a company? 

He gets an allowance from Marzog uwu But she’d also let him keep any money n valuables they find adventuring.

12) Does your oc own their own business, and if so, what is it?

Nope, he wouldn’t really be interested in that-

13) Is your oc good with finances? Bartering? How long can they keep the money they make? 

He really wouldn’t be! He’d spend all his money on like 30 sweetrolls! He’s a kid and he needs adult supervision lmfao.

14) Does your oc have any particular rivalry or mutual dislike with any NPC?

I jokingly said “literally every Nord” but for a while, that’s how it is. He was frozen while the Nord colonizers were trying to wipe out his entire race and saw them destroying his hometown before his father tried sealing him and the rest of his family away in a secret hideaway area. He sees them as murderous brutes first, people second, and it takes him a long, long time to understand that that’s technically ancient history, and that the Nords of today aren’t the people who killed most of his race. But he will always hate the Companions though I don’t know if they’d even know he exists?? They seem like they just chill in their own lil world but to be fair, I’m not that interested in them so...I genuinely don’t know lol;;

Also he will personally bite out Ulfric Stormcloak’s throat, and no one will stop him.

15) How well-liked is your oc? What is their reputation, if they’re well-known? Are they simply liked/disliked, or are they respected but feared, or personally liked but not taken seriously, etc? Do major factions consider your oc an important player?

Everyone loves him, and it’s definitely not because he has two terrifying elf moms standing behind him! :)

...which sounds like a joke, but Marzog (big beefy orc who can snap your bones like twigs) and Sina (highly trained knight-paladin that looks ready to murder 24/7) really Do terrify everyone into at least being respectful towards him. 

He’d probably be well known throughout other orc strongholds, and even orcs outside of them would know about him. As soon as he learns...Anything about the Companions he would do Everything he could to wreck their shit. Needless to say he’d be hated by him. I think those are the only things I’ll go into in this ask, because this is already so long.

16) Does your oc have a horse/other mount? A pet? How did they get this animal? If they were given the animal, do they have the money to maintain it? How careful/careless are they with their animal? What do they do with their pets while adventuring, especially on dangerous quests?

When he meets Kili and his clan, Kili decides to travel with him about a year later when they’re both around 15. As a  parting gift, the clan leader gives him a chaurus reaper as a companion, and he absolutely adores her. Unfortunately it’s highly unsafe for her above ground as she’d pretty much always be attacked on sight, so she does spend most of her time underground with Kili’s clan. 

17) Does your oc take their time as they travel, or are they purposeful? How do they survive in the wilds, especially if they aren’t hunter-types? How dependent is your oc on civilized society?

I feel like he’d make good time travelling, but for a while Vyrthaal would hate it. He lived a very sheltered life, he’s not used to living outdoors, but Marzog (and later Sina) would help him out as best as they can. Sina would also teach him (and maybe Marzog?But she’d use that just as an excuse to be close to her) how to hunt.

18) What does your oc like to eat? How much food do they eat? Can your oc cook, and can they do it well?

He loves treats n sweet desserts, as well as the big, hearty, rich, and savory meals I imagine orcs would make! He also has a surprisingly large appetite for such a small person, but I headcanon that that’s just A Dragonborn Thing(tm) so it only sort of counts. (if he wasn’t a Dragonborn, he’d actually have a very small appetite). He can cook some basic things and roast some meat over a fire and such, but nothing super fancy.

19) If your oc is a vampire, do they go outside in the daytime? Does the daylight affect or hurt them in any way different from in-game? If they interact with society, how do they justify looking half-dead and hating sunlight? How good is your oc at blending in? Do they even like dealing with society?

He would never willingly become a vampire, and he and Sina would always wear disease immunity enchantments to avoid it (and keep potions of cure disease on hand just in case. In a modern AU, they’d also have Falion on speed dial).

20) If your oc is a werebeast, how much control do they have over their transformations? Have they ever lost control? What happened? If not, why do they have such strong control? Does Hircine ever call on them, and do they answer?

He’s also not a werebeast. I don’t think he’d be able to control it well just because he’s a kid, but I think Marzog wouldtry to help him with that, as would Sina. If Hircine were to call on him he’d answer even if he Wasn’t any sort of werebeast, being an ally of the Forsworn and all he’d probably be honored!!

21) What does your oc wear in the city/settlements? In the house? When travelling, but not adventuring or expecting combat? Do they vary their clothes depending on what hold/city they’re in? If they don’t, why not (e.g., if your oc wears the same outfit to tend their garden or lounge around the house as they did to meet Ulfric or Elisif, why?) Does your oc have a good or bad sense of fashion? How many clothes does your oc have?

In cities and towns like Whiterun, Riften, etc. he’d wear simple robes. In the stronghold he’d wear clothes that are more tight fitting and don’t have billowy bits; think plain long sleeve shirts, pants, and a vest n such. While he travels he’d always wear armor he’s forged until he’s gifted ancient Falmer armor, which he then wears. He doesn’t vary his wardrobe much as snow elves are very resistant to cold so you could see him in the dead of winter just. Wearing regular old clothes lmao. When visiting Kili and his clan, as well as other Falmer clans, he’d likely wear regular Falmer armor (minus a helmet lmao). He would dress up in finer clothes to visit any Jarls except Ulfric, he’d wear full armor.

22) How picky is your oc about their gear? Do they have different equipment for different adventures, or is it the same suit of armor for everything (not counting upgrades like from steel to ebony)?

Same suit of armor for everything (except anything I’ve mentioned above) !

23) How does your oc acquire their clothes, and from where/whom?

He makes them, for the most part. Marzog helped him forge his first set of armor though, as well as make the first few pieces of clothing. The “modern”?? Falmer and ancient Falmer sets of armor are ofc all gifted to him tho,

24) Can your oc swim, and how well? Have they ever swam in the ocean, or only lakes/rivers? Remember, it’s much harder to swim in the ocean than in a lake! If your oc is an Argonian, do they take special advantage of it somehow (e.g., do they go diving for fun/for profit, do they instinctively hide in the water, etc)? If your oc is a Khajiit who can swim, how do they get their fur dry?

He can Not swim :’) He’d actually be a little bit afraid of water. Not out of trauma or anything ut just because he’s never really around big bodies of water often so it’s just New And Scary for him.

25) How easy/difficult is it to rob your oc? Pickpocket? Bribe?

It would be impossible to rob or pickpocket from him bc of Marzog and Sina lmao (though significantly easier if he’s alone, but he gets really scared on his own so that’s rare). He also wouldn’t take bribes.

26) If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret?

Apparently some people consider the Forsworn to be morally questionable which, yeah I guess they Do do some Fuck Shit but. He’d be open about it, he fully agrees that the Reach is the home of the Forsworn and as such they own it, and he’s not afraid to make that known. He’d wear the armor of the Old Gods that Madanach gives him any time he goes to see any Forsworn or travels through the Rift.

27) How helpful is your oc, and why? Are they helpful or kind even during difficult situations? Are they pragmatic, or do they have a hero syndrome?

I wouldn’t say he has a hero syndrome, but he’s a sweet kid that wants to help as many people as he can! He’s not like this with everyone at first, he definitely struggles with “why should I help people that would want me dead” but as he comes to terms with this being a new era he’d slowly be a bit more...gentle. And the more he adjusts the more his sweeter, friendlier nature begins to shine through!

I think I mislabeled these a little while reformatting, bc the original post only has 26 asks???? Uh,,,Oops! Lmao but that’s all of them so it’s fine!

Thank you for sending this in I had a lot of fun answering these! I tried not to ramble too much because this is long as it is so. I guess if anyone wants me to expand on any answers they can send in an ask or smthn??

[sweethazzababy]

A Good Memory

Harry x reader

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: none

A/N- hey everyone! this is not from the prompt list, but was a request and i really loved the idea of it. sorry if the meet and greet part is awkward and not well written i have no idea what happens at a meet and greet lol so if it’s awkward im sorry i know it is too haha otherwise the rest of it is good! also im really bad with titles lol sorry hope you guys enjoy it :) my ask is always open for requests! 

The room feels cool, the breeze from the slow motions of the ceiling fan nips at her skin while Y/N lays flat on her back, hands rested on her stomach. Her eyes are following the repetitive rotations, as the fan spins over and over again. She feels extremely comfortable, relaxed, and at peace as she lays here focusing on the slow motions of the contraption above her. She feels like she can finally breathe. Lately, she’s been feeling very stressed and has always been on the move, never really taking time to just sit down. Even going to bed for about 5 hours a night doesn’t satisfy her need for time to unwind.  Deep in her thoughts, she continues to watch the slow motion of the fan above her, zoning out into her mind as she reminisces pointless things.

Harry is beside her, in the same exact position. Humming random tunes to himself, his eyes closed as he appreciates a moment to rest. With a busy life like his, like Y/N, it is rare for him to not be thinking about work. His next career move, his next song, his next tour. His mind is always reeling with creative thoughts and ideas, which can grow to be tiresome. So as he lays down next to his best friend, hands clasped behind his head, he takes a deep breath as if he’s been holding it in for the longest time.

Very little words have been spoken, but with a friendship like theirs, words don’t need to be said. Just being with each other, is enough. The bond they’ve developed over the years is one that Y/N never expected, to say the least. Y/N was never really a friend type of person. She’s grown up to be independent and not reliant on others. Stupid drama and petty fights is what turned off the idea for her. She’s had best friends in the past throughout middle school and high school. None of them stayed. People grow apart, and she understands that it’s natural for that to happen, but she doesn’t understand why it happens. How can people just come into someone’s life and then leave like it was nothing? She’ll never know, and it’s quite sad.

Harry is different. He’s been around longer than anyone, and she sometimes questions him about it, wondering why he even bothers with her. Her life can be kind of a mess at times, and if she doesn’t even want to deal with it, how could someone else want to stick around for her? He never fails to show support for her every day, especially on days when the support is gratefully needed. She’s never opened up to someone like she has with Harry, not even her own parents or her own sister. Family can be judgmental, and she doesn’t want to waste time opening up to them when all they’re going to do is reprimand her for her feelings despite her lack of control of them.

Y/N has always been a hard person to read, but Harry somehow saw right through her the moment they met. He just knows how she feels all the time, like some sort of weird intuition. He’s picked up on little ticks and habits she has when showing certain moods. Kind of like when she’s sad, he knows she always makes a cup of green tea with honey to help soothe her, or she watches reruns of Gilmore Girls to help cheer her up. When she’s annoyed or bothered, Harry notices she bites the inside of her cheek, her eyebrows furrowed together most of the day.

When she’s home sick, Harry already knows to make her his homemade chicken noodle soup, only with no carrots because he knows she’ll eat around them and pick them out. Feeling gross when sick, Y/N always uses a ton of lotions and hand sanitizers to make herself feel better and by the time she dreadfully gets herself up to walk to the drugstore, Harry has already left a basket full of spa remedies by her door.

Y/N does a lot for Harry too, like giving him back and shoulder massages after long days writing in the studio. His posture is God awful, always hunched over when he’s writing. When he comes home from long trips away traveling, she welcomes him home by fixing his house with his favorite candles, and a homemade meal ready for him to devour after he’s been settling for plane food. He goes to her for opinions on song ideas, lyrics, melodies, and she never shy’s away from being honest with him. She’s not harsh, but she will tell him if she likes it or not and will follow up with suggestions. Harry is so appreciative of it. He hates when people praise every little thing he does or are too scared to really tell him the truth. Her opinion is one that he values above most others, because she was there from the start. She knows him, and knows what he is capable of, and she never wants him to settle for a mediocre melody or mediocre lyrics. Y/N pushes Harry to be his very best, and often times he needs someone like that. She knows him better than he does.

He’s her rock, and she is his. She never expected for their friendship to grow the way it did, but she wouldn’t change anything. She truly would be lost without him, and he would definitely feel lost without her.

“We’ve been friends for 5 years.” Y/N blatantly speaks, breaking the silence in the room. Her eyes are still stuck on the ceiling, not turning her head to look at Harry beside her. The sun is on its way down, the warm light peeking through the curtains as sunset approaches and it makes her wonder how long they’ve been laying there for as dusk creeps up on them.

“I know.” Harry responds quietly, his voice a bit scratchy from the limited talk, a warm smile forming on his lips. He truly can’t believe how time flies, remembering the exact moment they met as if it was yesterday.

“Remember when we decided to be good Samaritans and bake cookies for your tour crew during One Direction, and we fucking burnt all of them so bad that the oven started smoking backstage?” Y/N chuckles, her eyes crinkling as she slowly grins remembering that moment.

“Yeh, the fucking fire department showed up, all because I forgot t’set the stupid timer on the oven.” Harry shakes his head in disappointment, clicking his tongue.

“Idiot. Those cookies had potential to be the best cookies in the world and you ruined their chances.” Y/N teases, sarcastically disapproving of his failed attempt at setting a timer. A laugh slips from Harry’s mouth at her remark, playfully knocking his leg against hers.

“Oh, shut up.” Harry counters. He chuckles softly to himself, the memory playing through his head like a movie. They got into so much trouble for that, no matter what the intention was. Never again have they attempted baking because that tragic scarring moment scares them away from the idea of it, worried they might burn the house down.

“Y’know what’s crazy?” Harry chimes again, his head turning to his left to look at her as his hands move from behind his head to rest on his stomach like hers. Y/N turns her head to face him, their eyes meeting. Harry has the most beautiful pair of emerald eyes that she knows she can get lost in every moment she sees them. She knows they’re friends, but those eyes, fuck they mess with her brain.

“What?” Y/N raises her eyebrows, curious to hear his thoughts. His eyes leave hers as he glances off into space, a smile forming on his lips before he speaks.

“We wouldn’t be friends if you hadn’t come to our concert.” Harry lets out a breathy laugh, his eyes meeting Y/N’s again. Y/N rolls her eyes with a smirk, giggling to herself.

“What can I say, I was a diehard Directioner back in the day.” Y/N sarcastically teases, the memory flooding back into her thoughts making her smile wider. Crazy how one day can change your life forever. And she knew in that moment her life wouldn’t be the same.

“Oh stop the bullshit.” Harry shakes his head with a smirk, knowing very well that she wouldn’t have gone if her sister hadn’t dragged her there with her two cousins. “I owe your sister a huge thank you for forcing you to go.”

Y/N takes her view away from the ceiling and turns her head again to face Harry who is gazing at her softly, and almost lovingly in a way. Y/N’s lopsided smile makes his heart warm as he laughs, the two of them reminiscing over past memories.

Y/N was never a fan of One Direction, that is until her and Harry became close. She remembers exactly how that night went, from start to finish. Her sister Sara was crazy about the band, posters on the walls and their songs constantly being played through her speaker in her room as she danced around joyfully. The Take Me Home tour was her sister’s first concert, to her favorite band and Sara was the happiest she’s been in a while. As a surprise, Y/N and Sara’s aunt got VIP tickets for them and their two cousins with Meet and Greet tickets. Sara cried so hard when she found out, and as much as Y/N wasn’t that big of a fan, she was pretty excited too.

That night, meeting them is what changed everything.

Walking backstage Y/N’s hands are shaky despite not being a huge fan. Is she really meeting One Direction? Girls would probably kill to be in the position she’s in now. Next to her, her sister Sara is already crying, hysterical.

“Please clean yourself up, you don’t want to look all messy in the picture do you?” Y/N says, wiping her tears away.

“Y/N, you don’t understand! I’m meeting the loves of my lives tonight, I feel like I’m fucking dreaming right now.” Sara says through sobs, her body shaking as they’re waiting to meet the boys.

When it’s their turn, they walk into the room and there they are. All five of them joking around with each other, laughing. Sara’s eyes widen next to her, and her two cousins are star struck as well. The boys all say hello as Y/N, Sara, and her two cousins walk to them to greet them. First, there’s Louis.

“Hello, love how yeh doin’?” Louis excitedly asks, a playful gleam in his eye. Y/N smiles, as he goes in for a hug. Giving Y/N a tight squeeze, she smiles appreciating how nice he is.

“I’m great, how are you?” Y/N politely responds, letting go from his grasp. Louis gives her a cute smile, nodding his head.

“I’m doing lovely! I like your shoes.” Louis points to Y/N’s feet, a pair of black and white van sneakers.

“Thank you!” Y/N giggles, then moves to Niall and Liam.

“Hello, how are ya?” Niall asks, moving in to hug her. Y/N looks over to Sara who is tightly hugging Zayn, tears streaming down her face.

After meeting Zayn, Niall, and Liam the last person is Harry.

“Hi! Nice to meet yeh.” Harry holds his hand out politely, and Y/N takes his hand in hers and shakes it with a warm smile. As he speaks, his eyes never leave hers.

As Sara and her two cousins take pictures with the others, Harry stays talking to Y/N.

“You a fan?” Harry skeptically asks, a playful smirk on his lips as he already knows the answer is most definitely a no. His tight skinny jeans have a giant rip at the knee, his plain white t shirt is sheer enough to show the obnoxious butterfly on his stomach and Y/N can’t help but muffle a laugh knowing he might regret it one day later.

“What are yeh laughin’ at? Got something on my face?” Harry’s eyebrows draw together as he rubs his cheeks and around his lips. Y/N shakes her head, giggling a bit at his frantic reaction as his cheeks flush with redness.

“That’s a pretty big tattoo you got there.” Y/N says, pointing at his stomach, poking it playfully. Harry chuckles, shaking his head knowing she’s making fun of it but he doesn’t blame her. As much as he loves it, it is pretty big and obnoxious.

“Oh, yeah you see its purpose is to cover my two extra nipples.” Harry sarcastically remarks, poking the two nipples that are out of place and partly covered by the butterfly’s wings. A loud laugh slips from Y/N’s mouth, crinkling her eyes and Harry smiles foolishly, dimples forming on his cheeks.

“You do not have four nipples.” Y/N’s eyes widen, gaping. Harry just smirks, thinking she’s kidding because it seems to be the one thing everyone knows about him. But she’s not. She’s never heard this information before and quite frankly, she finds it funny.

“D’yeh really not know? I guess you aren’t a fan.” Harry questions, his emerald eyes sparkling at this newfound information…liking that she doesn’t know something stupid like that. Someone that doesn’t know anything about him really…except that he sings.

“Why is that so surprising? Is that something I should know?” A corner of her mouth lifts, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. Harry’s large hands find their way to his pockets, as his body relaxes into a slouched state.

“That’s like the number one thing people find most fascinating about me.” Harry informs, shaking his head at the ridiculousness, his smile slightly fading as he shuffles, leaning on one foot to the other.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N says, a genuine tone in her voice as she softly looks at him, kind of feeling bad. Why is that kind of information so important? What about is music?

“Why d’yeh say that?” Harry quizzically glances at her, his eyebrows pulling together at her apology.

“It sucks that that’s what people care about, you know? The amount of nipples you have has nothing to do with who you are…so I’m sorry. Because from what I can tell, you seem pretty cool and more people should know how cool you are.” Y/N shrugs her shoulders, as if what she just said is nothing. But Harry is dumbfounded. Dumbfounded in the best way, because someone understands him and sees him as just a guy who loves to perform. All of the pointless media has been getting to him lately especially with his rumored flings that aren’t true in the slightest. He’s intrigued with this girl…because she already feels like a better friend than most of the ones he’s made after One Direction.

“I don’t think you understand how much I appreciate that.” Harry says breathily, placing his hand over his heart as he genuinely takes in her thoughts. His eyes meet hers, and he grins at her as she holds her hands behind her back rocking back and forth on her heels. “Not many people really get it, you know. Of course, the other boys do since they’re in the same position as me. But sometimes it sucks, you know? Why do people care so much about who I’m dating…I know it sounds stupid for me to complain when people would kill to be in my position—”

“No, no Harry I get it. You’re more than someone’s fling…but I mean, four nipples is a pretty fascinating phenomenon.” Y/N lifts an eyebrow playfully with a small giggle and Harry rolls his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose as a smile forms again.

“You’re really something, aren’t yeh?” Harry studied, looking at her with intrigue crossing his arms over his chest as he leans closer to her. “I like talking to you…it’s refreshing.”

“I like talking to you too. And I must say, I am really happy I came to a One Direction concert because to be honest, if it wasn’t for my sister dragging me on my ass to get me here I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.” Her cheeks flushed, feeling oddly happy at the moment. She likes being around him, despite the limited time they had to get to know each other.

After talking with him for a few more moments, the way they’re getting along is so seamless and effortless and it seems too good to be true. She wants to get to know him more, as weird as that sounds. But he’s Harry Styles…he’s probably just being nice, just passing the time. He’ll probably move on from his life and forget about her tomorrow as he meets hundreds of new people. Harry pulls her into a big hug, wrapping his arms around his waist as he squeezes her tight, really hoping it’s not the last one.

Harry wants to get to know her too. There is something really comforting about her, and they already have so much in common that it kind of scares him. He’s so used to being introduced to all sorts of people, formally and informally. But he likes Y/N…and not in a romantic way. He wants to tell her his secrets, open up to her, talk to her about pointless things that no one else would probably care about. It’s too good to be true.

“Oh my god, I was so awkward that day we really don’t need to bring that up.” Y/N covers her face with her hands in embarrassment, shaking her head as if she is trying to get rid of the memory. But she can’t because after all it’s how she met her best friend.

“What? Is it because our topic of conversation was about my nipples?” Harry bursts in laughter, when her face heats up even more as she groans into her hands.

“Harry I swear to God…” Her voice is muffled, a few giggles leaving her lips. Harry’s face is beat red now as well, the laughter getting to him.

“We became best friends…o-over conversation about my-my nipples.” Harry says in between giggles, his nose crinkling up and his eyes shutting.

Y/N playfully slaps his arm, but Harry just laughs harder hunching his shoulders in and bending his knees up to his chest as his laugh echoes throughout the room, piercing her ears but she’s grateful for it because she loves his laugh so much that she can’t even be mad at it. 

“Whatever laugh all you want...the nipple conversation worked didn’t it? Wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your nipples.” Y/N tries to explain over his loud cackles, and Harry calms down a little bit as he sits upright from his position, wiping his teary eyes. 

Sitting up with him, she leans her head on his shoulder as they both wind down from their antics. Harry takes a deep breath, recuperating. A small chuckle slips afterwards, as the memory of that day replays in his head. 

“I really appreciate you, y’know. You’ve always understood me when no one else did.” Harry leans his head onto hers, closing his eyes.

“Don’t get all sentimental on me...you know how much I hate that.” Y/N groaned, but Harry just smiles wider, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her so tight she can’t breathe.

“Oh stop, you love me.” Harry gloats, Y/N starting to giggle again.

Harry might voice it more, but Y/N is pretty sure she would die without him. He’s been there for her in ways like no one else has, and that day that they sparked conversation about his four nipples, as dumb as it sounds, is such an important one. Because if it wasn’t for that, she wouldn’t have met her best friend. And that, is a world she can’t imagine. 

[ladyhawk-s]

“What a Halloween”

Summary: Tamaki Amajiki has always been a fearful person, even at the smallest of ages. However, making friends with Mirio has pushed him in ways that he maybe doesn’t want to know if he should be pushed in. Especially when it comes time for Halloween. Despite wanting to avoid all mentions of Halloween, Mirio decides that it’s time to celebrate his first Halloween and it’s one Tamaki won’t forget. 

READ ON AO3 / READ ON FF.NET

A/N: Hello hello! So obviously, it's not Halloween, it's actually....28 days after that (29 depending on your time zone) and I really have no words to explain. Rather, I just want to apologize heavily for the....month delay on this. I actually have been going through a writing rut since I'm graduating this semester and doing a lot of things that have been stressing me out so, despite me wanting to write this, it almost turned into a stressor. It's been rough and I have another 3 weeks of it being rough but I'm so happy to have this done! It was for the @bnha-halloween-bb and Im sure I will be shot by the mods with how late I am but it's at least here! By no means am I proud of it but it's done and I'm so happy to be able to share it with you guys despite me not being the most pleased with it. 

Rather, please support my LOVELY artist @nekosisterart who drew the piece for this fic:. They did such a phenomenal job with it and I'm literally shook. Not only are they amazingly talented but they are also super kind and sweet and just a wonderful bean and I was so honored to be working with them again. Really, go send all the love to them since they are super great <3 They put up with me during this whole thing and they are incredibly patient so I want to just WILL SMITH SHOW THEM OFF because they are wonderful !!! ----------------- Halloween was a strange time. In the past, it was a time where quirkless humans could pretend that they were beasts or have magical powers that sprouted from the palms of their hands. They were able to get candy by pretending to scare people with their fake powers and teeth and it was a day where the imaginable became reality.

But then quirks emerged and it threw off the balance that Halloween used to have. The fake accessories became real and people really developed features that originally were used for fear. Confusion swirled around people for a while on what to do for the holiday, wondering what to do next since there wasn’t much to fear anymore.

However, creativity burst in the people and Halloween was back in full swing, this time with an even higher intensity. People used their quirks to impress enough for candies and costumes became more elaborate. The horror cranked up to new levels and scary movies took on a different form that would have been eye wrenching in the past.

Even the little kids also took onto this new level. Before the age of four, they dressed up in whatever might have been cute or what their parents might have wanted them to wear. Then, when the quirks came in, that’s when the intensity started. Quirks shaped their halloween experiences and there was almost a competition on who could pull the scariest identities. School got involved in these activities and the school where Tamaki Amajiki and Mirio Togata went to was no different. The school encouraged students to go all out in their costumes provided that damages were kept to a fixable minimum.

But, while every classmate was discussing the plans of their costumes and how best to scare their parents day of, Tamaki wasn’t exactly in the same mood as them. Or rather, to put it into more simpler terms, he was absolutely terrified of Halloween and the horrors that came with it. Despite having the ability to transform his limbs into monstrous animals that he ingested earlier and possibly becoming more terrified than any recreations out there, something about the way tissue paper folded into itself and cheap fabric rippled on human skin just seemed to frighten Tamaki from where he was standing.  Even though his mother constantly coaxed him through the day, he still ended up shivering at the mythical creatures that haunted his nightmares with their bloodsucking and howls at the moon. Sometimes he could feel little bit marks on the base of his neck that his mother said was from his imagination but Tamaki knew better.

So when the topic of the Halloween festival came up, Tamaki was on the top of the list on not attending. The teachers brought their hands and wiggled their fingers when discussing the horrors they would experience. There would be a haunted mansion maze that was made to send a soul out of the body and there would be enough candy to have a stomach ache for a week after. Everyone bounced in their seats the more was revealed but Tamaki could only ball up his fists and hide his head beneath the comfort of his arms. Images of fright conjured up in his mind, though they might have been more exaggerated to him than probably the other students. Not even his mother offering to volunteer or accompanying him to the event was enough to make Tamaki go.

But a certain blonde child had that effect on him.

In other schools, Tamaki never really had friends. His social anxiety made him quiver in front of other students and teachers usually went easier on him due to it, though others couldn’t understand the turmoil that went through his mind and usually left him alone, saying he could go play with the teachers. Friends were never something he had the chance to experience and there was always that little voice that desperately wailed for that chance.

And that chance happened this year.

This year he transferred to a new school and had to be immersed with new faces. While moving schools was already daunting enough, the fact that these would be new faces that would judge him the same way others did only made this more anxiety filled. He could remember walking down the halls, holding the strips of his backpack with tight hands that paled from the strong grip he had. His introduction didn’t even last that long because he couldn’t express the words he wanted to and ended up sitting down earlier than expected. Tears budded up on the water line of his eyes and he couldn’t focus for the rest of the class.

Until a boy called out to him and finished the sentence Tamaki couldn’t. “You want to be a hero, right?” the boy asked back, reading the mind of the scared one. Instantly, within a manner of 10 minutes, he found out that the blonde child was called Mirio Togata, he had a permutation quirk that could only work if he held his breath (which he was still having trouble perfecting and constantly hit walls and other foreign objects that left little scars on the top of his head), and that he was a curious kid that spammed Tamaki with questions about his quirk and what kind of animals he could recreate along with the feeling he got when his limbs were changed to chicken legs. Somehow Mirio ended up finding out more about Tamaki than anyone except his parents had in his entire life and Tamaki wasn’t so sure what to do with that. He knew he should have been cautious and wary and making sure that there was some distance but….Mirio had that cheerful smile that was infectious and Tamaki tunneled into it. Which turned out to be the right action since he began to be Tamaki’s first friend and he would never regret ever allowing Mirio to be open with him.

Until now. Now Tamaki was really beginning to question his friendship with Mirio.

Unlike Tamaki, Mirio happened to be the head of the excitement club for this school event. Everyday he would giddly explain the preparations his father making to his costume and he didn’t give anyone any hints as to what he was going to be (although Tamaki knew him well at this point and this year he was going to be a werewolf with fluffy ears and a bushed out tail. To be fair Mirio did invite him to his house and he saw those pieces laying around that Mirio would bashfully brush off whenever Tamaki asked him if those were parts of his costume). Many times throughout the day, he would go up to Tamaki’s desk and tell him how excited he was for it and that he was looking forward being able to go this year since last year was a year of flu but this time, he stocked up on his vitamins and enough of cold medicine to defeat the toughest of runny noses. And he would always check up on Tamaki to make sure he was still coming.

Yes, Tamaki told Mirio he would go. It wasn’t a very smart decision at all, it actually had a lot of flaws attached to it but seeing Mirio’s bright smile made him cave in and go to the festival. Besides it was a bit more complicated than that. Mirio was Tamaki’s first friend. Never did Tamaki have someone who would go out of their way to invite him to their house for dinner or to a party or even to spend just a bit of time with. While Tamaki knew in the bottom of his heart that Mirio wouldn’t judge him or leave him alone if he said no to coming, there was still this pressurized feeling that he had to go. At least to go for the sake of his friend. It was a weird sense of paying him back for all the kindness he’s given Tamaki. Possibly making it up to him might have had better connotations. Whatever it might have been, Tamaki was now stuck with date filled of events that were only going to be frightening and enough to haunt his dreams for the rest of the year.

Since Tamaki vowed to eliminate Halloween from his calendar, he never had to worry about making or even purchasing a costume. It was something that never crossed his mind and something that didn’t seem like it would be used anytime soon. Except for the fact that his initial plans to sit at home and watch cute shows were now tainted with going to a festival where the dress codes skewed to fit varieties of costumes. He initially tried to think of casual costumes that he could make using the items in his closet. However, when Tamaki brought these ideas up with Mirio, his friend cried nonsense and the next day came with an old vampire suit that was only worn once by its owner.

Every day, it was a reminder that Halloween was soon approaching and every day, Tamaki wished time would slow to prevent it from coming. But before anyone could stop it, it turned into the night of Halloween.

With a small bucket in the shape of a pumpkin, little Mirio Togata waddled through the sidewalk in his super secret and special costume of a werewolf. It was more uncomfortable than he had originally expected, especially with the tail bunching up near the gap between his legs, however he worked hard for this costume and nothing was going to stop him. He could endure it for a small bit.

After receiving looks and grins, he finally made it to Tamaki Amajiki’s house. In retrospect, they didn’t actually live too far from each other. They only lived a couple of blocks away and those blocks were covered with enough sidewalk and light that his father felt confident he could walk there by himself without being hurt. It also very much helped that Mirio had a quirk that allowed him to sink away in case so Mirio could only grin and be excited. His hands produced a small but mighty knock on the door, creating little pounds of noise that echoed within the house. At first nobody answered. But that didn’t stop Mirio from producing another round of knocks until the door opened to reveal a tired looking woman with bags ringing around her eyes.

“Oh hello, Togata. How are you?” She asked with a strain that was attempted to be covered in smiles but failing at every turn with that. Small wailes waved from behind her and the crinkles of her eyes pierced inwards. There was a tired and exhausted look seeped into her eyes that made Mirio feel bad for Tamaki’s mother.

“I’m doing well, Ms. Amajiki. Is Tamaki home?” Mirio asked, though he already knew the answer. Even at his young age, he still knew the fine motors of manners.

“Yes he is. Tamaki!” She called from the door. Silence. “Tamaki, your friend is here!” She yelled once more. Even more silence. Suddenly, the wails from earlier resurfaced and his mother’s eyes winced at the emergence. “It seems as if he’s huddled in his room, you can go in,” she said while giving room to the blonde boy. The second his body entered through the frame, she shut the door and quickly ran over to the screams, leaving Mirio by himself in the vast house.

With the layout of the house engraved in his mind from his countless visits, Mirio traversed through the halls to reach Tamaki’s room. It was hidden in a corner of the house that had shadows covering the darkness of the door, perfect for a person who couldn’t handle much of the sun beaming on them. Coming to the door, Mirio pressed his ear against the wood to hear any remnants of life. Silence. Tamaki sure knew when to be quiet when he wanted. Mirio’s hand went towards the knob and he cracked it open to find the room shrouded in darkness. “Amajiki? Are you here?” He asked softly, stepping onto the carpeted floor. There weren’t any visible signs of his friend but little whimpers came from the under the desk that stationed against the opposite wall. Mirio took careful steps before he crouched to see Tamaki’s directly. “Amajiki? What are you doing? Are you ok?”

Hearing Mirio’s voice snapped Tamaki out of the tunnel he found himself immersed in. Since putting on his costume, he found himself jumping at even the small sounds of wood shifting or the steps coming from his parents. He didn’t much remember how he exactly ended up in this position and what crossed his mind to end up underneath the desk but he wouldn’t lie, he didn’t exactly want to leave his spot. “It’s….nothing…..” Tamaki said softly as he crouched further into himself.

Until he felt his arm being pulled away from his hair so he could see the concern on Mirio’s face directly. “Then why are you under here?” His friend asked softly, his head slightly tilting to show his confusion.

Seeing that look made Tamaki’s eyes wander around as he thought of what to say next. It wasn’t necessarily that he was avoiding his look but rather, it was his way of trying to formulate all the thoughts that floated around in his mind. He didn’t want to go but he wanted to make Mirio happy but would this really make Mirio happy? So many thoughts ran through his brain and they could only come out as little stutters from the tip of his tongue. “I’m….I’m….sc-scar-re-d….” He managed to speak out, albeit in chopped syllables. His eyes closed once more to go back into that fantastical hole that he created in his mind.

“Why are you scared, Amajiki?” A tiny voice spoke out, making Tamaki reopen his eyes once more. Mirio’s beady eyes crinkled in worry and his mouth gave a small pout that contained a small frown in it.

Once more, Tamaki’s eyes diverted away from his and he could feel small tremors coursing through his body. He took a deep breath in. “I...don’t like the monsters...I don’t want to be hurt….There’s scary sounds and scary people and…I don’t...like those things…” he rambled on, trying to make sense of a situation that had no sense to it.

Tamaki then felt Mirio place his hands into his own and squeeze them tight in the darkness. It was hard to fully make out the emotion that was seen but it almost had a brotherly love attached to it. “There’s no reason to be scared Amajiki. All of it is fake. No one will hurt you.”

“B-but...how do you know?? They could jump out and...and….”

“Amajiki, I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you. I promise. Just trust me, ok?”

Tamaki wasn’t sure if it was that or the exchanges that happened back and forth but soon, having Mirio be someone to lean on, he managed to emerge from under the desk. Things turned into a blur and he didn’t exactly remember how things turned out. His mind went back and forth and switched off reality in moments. One minute, he remembered being in his house and the next, he was outside, walking alongside Mirio. He could hear Mirio speaking talking about different subjects but none of it truly registered in his head. The only thing that went through to him was the calling of his name and his cape fluttering around his feet. There wasn’t a measure on how long they were walking but the quiet winds of the streets gave a sign that they were heading to their destination but not quite there.

Unfortunately, soon enough, the sounds of goblins and ghouls began to mix itself into the winds. The duo reached the school that had been transformed from a clean, pristine building into one with cobwebs stringing from side to side and splotches of black smearing down the side. Animatronic screeches loomed from the interiors of bushes that came with cackles of lightning rotating in.

The closer they reached, the more Tamaki’s teeth chattered with little clicks that echoed from his mouth. His arm gripped tighter onto Mirio’s, holding onto him super tight in this special type of fear that came straight from horror films.

Yet, funnily enough, Mirio looked complete opposite from his friend. His beady black eyes shone with little stars twinkling in his pupils and his mouth formed a perfect amazed gap that was filled with wonder and excitement. If his tail had any form of reality behind it, it would have wagged ridiculously back and forth in this childish excitement that fit for his age. “Woah, that’s so awesome!” Mirio exclaimed, his feet bouncing up and down that made both him and Tamaki bob in unison. “C’mon, we gotta hurry!” And with that last push of pressure, Mirio took their still steps into a run that skidded through the dirt and landed them within the depths of the festival.

[They see a bunch of different costumes and there are some people trying to scare them which works for Tamaki but Mirio is chilling and such]

It was corny to say but it was something of another realm. The school was known to have proper clothing that seemed to be ironed onto skin with serious expressions that could make anyone be stiff. But this, this was something else. Baggy costumes of all kinds floated around with buckets in the shape of pumpkins being swung around. Teachers that only knew how to wear suits wore elaborate costumes with fancy trims and delicate lace that showed their own pleasure into the spirit of the holiday. Even parents took the occasion to wear outfits that uniformed themselves to their children and little cheers and claps came from them as their little monsters performed in excellent ways.

While Mirio took in all the sights and engaged himself at all the beauty surrounding him, Tamaki, on the other hand, began to tremble even harder. If it wasn’t for his ill formed pants, one could be able to easily see his knees buckling within themselves, his kneecaps bruising from the small bangs they were doing. His arms latched even harder to Mirio’s werewolf costume and, if no one knew who he was, they would think that he was actually the wimpiest vampire to ever exist, even more than the ones from the popular series, Twilight.

“Boo!” A voice ringed from behind, echoing within Tamaki’s ear. Fright surged up his spine and he collapsed into Mirio, sending them both soaring into the ground. Tamaki could hear some exchanges happening before a hand shook his clothed shoulder. “Hey are you alright??” Moving in whimpers, Tamaki took in the sights in front of him. The hand that shook him out belonged to Mirio while the adult removed the mask that covered his face to reveal a scared and worried face. Still in a form of shock, Tamaki could only manage a nod before having help from Mirio to stand up. “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect this type of reaction. Are you hurt? I can run to go get some stuff,” the adult said, his hands raised to offer any assistance that was needed.

Tamaki only could shake his head while Mirio grabbed onto the sides of his body to keep him steady. “Don’t worry sir, he seems alright!” Mirio responded for Tamaki, coaxing the situation to a calmer state. While Mirio and the man exchanged reassurances, Tamaki looked himself over. To his surprise, there was only a bit of dirt that caught onto his cape from the fall he made that easily was brushed off with a few swipes. When he focused back onto Mirio, the other two exchanged final words before Mirio looked back at his friend with upturned eyebrows. “Are you ok, Amajiki? You didn’t get hurt or anything?” Tamaki shook his head once more, leaving Mirio to check him more thoroughly. After a few swipes of his own, he focused back on his friend and smiled. “Well, why don’t we play some games for a bit? There’s a lot of activities that I am sure we can fun with. C’mon Amajiki,” and hand in hand, they walked into the fairgrounds.

Although it was covered in more halloween decorations and spooky accessories, the games all inherently had the same themes that were present in a regular festival. Ranging from shooting games to activities that involved heavy amounts of bobbing objects, there were children covering each inch of the booths. Little shouts came from the games that signaled activity and beckoned the two boys to join in.

At first, it was a bit difficult for the boys to get into the fun of the games. Costumed kids pushed each other to get to the front, even ignoring the cries from adults that tried to have a semblance of a line. Mirio managed to dodge the hits from the other kids but that didn’t exactly work out for the other boy. Bruises started to form on the top of his skin and multiple times he had to reach out for Mirio when he felt himself being separated from Mirio. At first, Mirio didn’t realize what was happening but when he almost got upset at Tamaki for bumping into him, then those same kids learned well to keep their distance.

After minutes of trying to find that perfect game to play, the boys managed to find space in a game that involved the test of aim. This was a game heavily seen in America that was brought to their festivals time to time and it involved throwing balls into moving vases that circled around in a spiral frenzy.

“Hey, you two! Come try out your aim! Get the ball in the white cup and get a prize!” The attender called out to them, beckoning them closer.

“You wanna try this, Amajiki? It looks like it would be pretty fun,” Mirio asked his friend with a soft yet encouraging tone. Tamaki gave a light nod and he pulled them up to the man. “We would like to try sir!”

“Excellent!” He then dipped lower to pick up a series of balls that balanced themselves on his palm. “Who’s up first?”

“I’ll go!” Mirio volunteered, raising his hand up really high to showcase his readiness. Exchanges happened between them and he bounced on the balls of his feet, gearing up to showcase his aim. “Alright, here I go!” And he began to aim at the moving cups.

If anyone separated the scene into two different parts, a person would believe that Mirio was winning due to the smile and determination that created creases on his forehead. However, the balls ended up nowhere the moving vases. Despite adjusting his strength in different conditions, the balls would roll around in the rims of the cups until they bounced off into the water. The last throw almost made it in, that is until a gust of wind blew it off.

“Sorry about that, young boy. You’ll do better next time,” The attender tried to encourage while collecting the fallen balls to dry them for the next game.

“Ahhh! I was so close!” Mirio grunted out, placing the bottoms of his palm into his eyes.

Tamaki didn’t say anything but he knew that Mirio’s light heartened frustration was actually bothering him much more than what he was letting on. Each time he threw the ball, Tamaki saw the small glint that would cross his eyes that came from the desire of wanting one of the plushies. It wasn’t clear which one attracted him and pushed him forward in determination but knowing his friend, he had a good idea behind.

“I….I would like to try….” Tamaki spoke up, raising his hand shyly. Eyes snapped towards his comment and he tried to hide within his cape until the balls of were thrust towards him. Smiles went around that pushed Tamaki out of the shell he was hiding under. Even Mirio gave a slight cheer and nudged him forward.

Pressure began to build up around Tamaki and his throat kept swallowing down the anxiety that formed lumps in his throat. This was exactly why he never put himself into any type of sports or performances and he almost brought back the balls until a glance at Mirio built in a push of confidence.

Nowhere around the stand or even in the neighboring areas were there mentions of the usage of quirks. There wasn’t anything stated outright that quirks were banned from the fairgrounds. Yet, Tamaki couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at the gasps that erupted when his arm transformed itself into a tentacle from the octopus he ate earlier in the day. The thin endpoint carefully wrapped around the first ball, suctioning it into itself the crevices. With immense precision, he brought his tentacle closer to rotating balls and focused in on the scarce white cups hidden within the sea of color. Their slow pace seemed to speed up within the energy of pressure but Tamaki focused in his senses and flicked it right at the moment his gut told him to do so. Time slowed into a blur that put Tamaki in a haze until Mirio’s shouts and screams pulled him out.

“Oh my gosh, Amajiki!!! That was awesome!!! You’re so freaking cool!!!” Mirio bounced around, going in and out of hugging his friend with a type of spastic energy. It took Tamaki for a second to be brought back to reality but when he returned, he saw the smiles on everyone’s face with the ball resting peacefully in the white cup. Little tugs pulled up on the corners of his mouth and he couldn’t help but feel a tad bit of pride in that. And each moment he managed to get the balls into the desired cups, he could have sworn he felt a little lighter and the shouts were a bit louder.

“My, my, my young lad! Even with the use of your quirk, you did a marvelous job! It’s a rare sight to see for sure!” The man complimented before jerking his thumb towards the prizes surrounding the back frame of the tent. “You can get whatever you want! You can get 4 small prizes, 1 big one with 2 other small ones, or even 2 big ones! Whatever you want!”

Immediately, his answer was met with Tamaki pointing at the big large plushies that were constricted by the large cords. “Are you sure you want those?” Which was met with a strong nod. “Well, alright, give me a second,” the man said as he climbed out of the stand and pulled out a small ladder. He struggled a bit with the tightness of the cords and even gave a small curse under his breath with his hands twisting them around. However, soon enough, he managed to get them down and presented them towards the small child. “Here you go! Enjoy!”

Tamaki brought the two plushies in and almost doubled over in the huge weight that it was creating against his fragile body. He had to set them down on top of a cleaner patch of the ground in order to figure out his bearings. With a small breath in and out, he reached for one of the plushies and hid his face behind it as he turned to Mirio and brought his arms forward. “This….this is for you…..” Tamaki said quietly, a small blush fired up in his cheeks.

He couldn’t see well behind the toy but he could definitely hear the gasp that came from his friend. “Really!? It’s for me!?” Mirio shouted back, forming an image of bouncing feet in Tamaki’s mind.

“...yes….” Tamaki responded softly, his head bobbing slightly in a nod. He pushed it towards Mirio even more, hoping he would take it soon since it was starting to be heavy in his arms.

That hope soon was answered when Mirio took it from his hands and hugged it within himself. “Thank you so much Amajiki! You’re such an amazing friend! It’s the best!” His friend spoke, though there was a small waver in his voice that threatened to release tears. However, once Tamaki picked up his own plush and a cough came from Mirio, the same excitement burst back in. “Let’s go Amajiki!! There’s still a lot to see,” and with that, the boys went off.

It was a bit silly to see two small kids with toys half their size but they somehow managed to traverse the grounds will small peeks of their toys’ shoulders and using the sounds of nearby footsteps. Fortunately, Tamaki recently ate an aquatic animal that had the ability of echolocation so he managed to traverse the grounds while making sure him and Mirio to submit to their sudden deaths. He could hear little sighs of protest coming from Mirio with his inability to see but Tamaki actually enjoyed the lack of sight. His plush kept him in a fuzzy darkness that was comforting. It almost made this experience fun and enjoyable.

“Hey Amajiki! Look! It’s a haunted house! We totally got to go to it!!” Or maybe not.

Tamaki pushed his face more into the back of his plush, smashing his face in enough that it was as if he completely disappeared from sight. “Do...do we have….to?” He asked softly, his tone carrying hesitation, though the indentations muddled within the soft core of the plush.

“Of course we do! This is the biggest thing here! I’ve been looking forward to that all week!” Mirio responded quickly before doubling back a bit and tilting his head towards his friend. “I mean, unless you don’t want to go. It’s fine if you don’t. I won’t make you,” he added, though there was a hint of sadness within it.

Tamaki heard that and peeked over at his friend. Selfishly, he wanted to take on that offer and walk away and never look at it again. Mirio did say that they didn’t have to do it so the lack of pressure dissipated. And yet, Tamaki couldn’t do it. Seeing the lack of glint in his eyes made his stomach turn in different directions. He had never seen a frown on the blonde boy and yet, there it was. And it wasn’t as if Mirio was doing it to make him feel guilty, rather he would do whatever Tamaki desired and needed and would always put his friendship first. Which is why Tamaki had to change his answer. “No it’s ok….we can go….” he muttered to his friend, his voice quiet but still present enough to hear.

“Really? Are you sure? We don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable. I won’t pressure you,” Mirio  responded back, his voice still sincere and worried, yet Tamaki could tell that there was a small little glint in the corner of his eyes. Already feeling regret bubbling inside of him, he nodded his head, affirming his previous words. Suddenly, the saddened face Mirio wore turned brighter, shining in the midst of the darkness looming around them. “Wow, you really are as bright as the sun Tamaki,” he said, though Tamaki couldn’t help but look at the irony in his statement. Then, he felt his hand being intertwined with his friend and he peeped up to see that Mirio beamed at him. “C’mon, let’s go. Don’t worry, it’ll be a lot of fun! I promise! And if you’re ever scared, you can always hold on to me.”

And with a little affirmative noise from Tamaki, the duo moved towards the haunted house.

Not surprisingly enough, there was a line of all ages shooting out from the door of the maze. Jitters and laughs came from the line while screams of those interior echoed against their excitement. Mirio kept bouncing on the balls of feet and moved around the sides that pulled Tamaki along with his movements. Having Mirio’s anxiety to get in only fueled Tamaki’s anxiety to go in, the screams and commotion only intensifying it even more. The shy boy even had to disappear once more into his plush until he heard a grunt. His dark eyes shifted to the owner and the first thing he saw was a teacher wrapped in bandages to a point where any recognizable features were gone. Dark patches of makeup covered any exposed areas of skin, looking as if they crawled out of a casket that buried them alive many years back. Only grunts came out of their mouth but they did hold a sign that stated, “Please leave all belongings in the cabinets to your right!”, to which Tamaki peered past them and saw kids cluttered around the lockers.

Tamaki was about to protest this rule when Mirio pulled on his arm to guide him along the way inside. “We gotta hurry Amajiki! We don’t want a bad spot!” Which was a reason that made Tamaki tilt his head in question but soon became clear when he saw Mirio shove other kids to have that cubby that was the right size for their plushies and bags and that wasn’t too high nor too low. Tamaki froze in the midst of the squandering children so there was a little bit of grace when Mirio took his stuff and placed it right next to his own. It took a bit for his friend to come over back to him but soon they were reunited and Tamaki’s arm began to pull out of his socket with Mirio dragging him along.

The mere second Tamaki laid eyes on the darkened door frame with pieces of stained fabric ruffling in the entrance, he could feel his soul seeping out of him, leaving his body into a frozen state. The only reason his feet kept moving was because of Mirio’s insistent pulls that drove him further into the tunnel. However, when the blood stained fabric brushed against his skin, the shock that froze his limbs shattered into millions of pieces and the adrenaline of fear zapped into him. Shakes covered his whole body and nails dug deep into his friends arms.

Eerie sounds echoed around them that contained jabs of snarls and henious jackal laughs. Hidden speakers scattered around the hallways, making the boys feel as if it was all happening right next to them. Splashes of red light illuminated parts of the hallway to help them find passage, though the first thought that came to Tamaki’s mind was that it was meant to help them lead the way to sudden death. Little ooo’s and aaaa’s came from Mirio and Tamaki questioned in his mind if his friend actually understood the negatives of this maze.

A dead end appeared at the end of the hallway with a window that had shadows dancing behind it. By force, the boys had to turn right with a darkened shadow peering off the left next to the ghostly window. With focus on getting through the new hallway in front of them, neither of them noticed a grotesque female in a tattered dress with zombie holes pushing herself out of the shadows, shouting monstrous noises while curling her clawed hands. Screams bubbled out of the boys and they scurried forward in fear she would be trailing behind them. In that scurry though, they didn’t notice a barn door slamming open and having a bloodied farmer popping out, reaching his arm for the boys to grab on help. However, before they could register the need, a horrific figure seeped behind the farmer and pulled him out of view that soon became replaced with sounds of hacking skin and blood bubbling screams. It felt like a scene from a horror film and Tamaki dug his face more into the crook of Mirio’s neck.

As they continued forward, the horrors turned more into sickening nightmare. The boys pushed through heavy black straps that greeted them with deafening chainsaw sounds. The scenery changed from a dark interior to a red lit farm. Glossy sheep and cows laid strewn on the turf, blood painted on the plastic surface. Bumpy paper mache trees stood tall, almost looking too calm in the scene of horror. They took more cautious steps, looking at the details and getting lost enough to distract the actions in their peripheral. Shooting behind the stationary tree was a younger male with a crumpled mask and plastic knife, charging after them with theatrical groans. Little screams erupted from the kids and they ran with adrenaline pumping in their system.

They pushed through to the next hallway and caught their breath in silence while listening to the whispers of halloween music in the background. Tamaki doubled over and placed his hands on his knees, wheezing from the creatures that popped out at him. He only paid attention to his breathing until the positive energy of Mirio snapped him out of it. “That….was awesome!” He heard Mirio say. Tamaki brought his eyes upwards and saw a gleaming smile on his face, completely serious on his comment. Mirio twisted to his friend and gave him a boost of encouragement. “Are you doing alright, Amajiki?” Tamaki wanted to give a big no along with running in maddening circles but he knew that the only way out was through the tunnel. He gave Mirio a nod and his friend stuck out his arm for him to grab. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Just a little bit more!” Mirio continued on, waiting until Tamaki grabbed his arm. “If anything, just close your eyes! Don’t worry, I won’t let anything to you. That’s a promise!”

Tamaki could only nuzzle into his shoulder and nod his head in response. Walking forward, he could steal hear the exaggerated halloween music playing in the background with screams and bangs hitting against the areas of the maze. He could also hear Mirio’s screams that were filled with more of a shock than any actual fear. Tamaki could occasionally feel slimy objects pressing against him or even the cold slivers of chill running up his spine when passing through a new hallway. However, no matter what ran through his mind and whatever colors flashed behind his eyelids, Tamaki made sure that they were kept shut as they traversed through the maze.

Then, a little glimmer of light seeped into his closed lids. He opened them to find a glowing hole, like the light at the end of the tunnel. True, there were hanging corpses and fragments of web shadowing over it but that went over Tamaki’s head. It meant his escape, the end to the horrors he had to endure the while he was stuck here, clutching onto Mirio’s arm and only having his laugh comfort his screams.

“C’mon! We’re almost there!” Mirio exclaimed loudly while pushing the hanged body out of the way. Their steps trudged through the wood flooring and the creepily placed tissue paper that stuck their feet into the ground, as if the maze was trying to keep them within the walls. However, with force, the boys pushed through. It wasn’t easy or fun or even comforting for Tamaki to have to push through hanging corpses that shared deceased eye contact with him with pieces of their toilet paper wrappings brushing against his skin. Nor was it easy or amazing to have to touch anything that had death and blood slime all over it. Yet, the light was getting closer and closer and the chills on his arms subsided and his eyes were screaming in adjustment and it kept going and going until….

They made it outside.

At first, it took Tamaki a small while to adjust to his surroundings. The fairgrounds had completely different vibes than what was shown in the maze. While the interior of the house was decked in horror and fright, the fairgrounds brought him back to the happier side of halloween with candy and costumes running around. Tamaki could feel his heartbeat calming down at the sights of comfort around him. Even his breath slowed down and the hyperextension of anxiety twirled down to a more easy rate, one that he was more used to.

“Congratulations for getting through the maze you guys!” A teacher in a witch costume encouraged. In her hands were little pumpkins buckets filled with all sorts of sweets brimming at the top. “Here, take this you guys. You earned it! Don’t forget to pick up your stuff!” She said with a sweet smile as she handed the buckets to the boys. Mirio gave a loud gasp while Tamaki matched it with wide eyes. Every candy that a sweet tooth desired found its way in the bucket and Tamaki couldn’t help but feel his mouth watering with anticipation to eating one of the candies in there.

Yet, before he could quickly pop one in his house, he grew distracted at the posture Mirio was doing. In his hand, Mirio held up a piece of chocolate with a grin slapped on his face. “Let’s do a toast to the night we already had so far and for the night to come!” And he brought the chocolate closer to Tamaki, hoping for a little bop back. It took a bit for Tamaki to get and Mirio had to give a small hint but he managed to scavenege a similar piece of chocolate and gave it a small boop into the one Mirio had in his hand while giving a small cheers in return. In unison, the boys ripped through the wrapper and chucked the chocolate in, savoring the sweet and melting flavor against their small tongues.

Silence passed between them when they tasted the goods but their swallows aligned at the right second and Mirio hooked his arm within Tamaki’s. “Alright, let’s get our stuff and do more stuff! There’s a lot to do and I’m sure we can get more candy!” He told Tamaki excitedly, making him walk toward the cabinets.

Tamaki didn’t say a word while Mirio went on and on about the different activities that were still left to do. However, it wasn’t exactly a terrified silence. Rather, and to his shock, Tamaki ended up smiling and nodding towards Mirio’s words, almost as if he was excited for the rest of the night. As if….this was going to end up being one of the best days within Tamaki’s life so far.

[iirriiss-]

Finding a new identity

Have you ever loved someone so deep that, that person literally became part of who you were? Like, it literally felt like you were both one? One identify for two people? That’s definitely one of the best feelings in the world. The bond is even stronger when children are involved.

Maybe you feel like this with your significant right now, or maybe, you experienced it at one time in your life like me. Or maybe some other unique situation. I’m here to tell my story of how I lost my identity and literally who I was when my ex left me.

My ex and I were together for almost 7 years. We had an amazing son together, who’s now 5! I met him when I was 18. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me! At that time, I had just graduated so I wasn’t looking for anyone. I was literally doing, me. They are right when they say that love comes when you’re not looking for anything or anyone. He was different than any other guy I had dated. I played hard to get because it literally felt too good to be true! Anyways, I fell in the trap and about 8 months later, I found I was pregnant. Fast forward, we moved in together. Just like any relationship, we had our ups and downs. We weren’t a perfect couple! I’ve never met a perfect couple. Some couples have been through very difficult situations! We all know that “one couple.” No one is perfect, so I’m not here to point fingers and play the blame game or say that I was perfect throughout the relationship. Because I’m not perfect. We had arguments here and there. Some crazy ones if you ask me! But who cares? We had more good times than bad times in my opinion. I was happy with my little family!

Around the first week in January, my ex became very distant. He would spend countless hours on his phone and in his car. I asked him a few times what was wrong and he would say nothing. I just knew something wasn’t right. One time, he went out to eat, with his mom, and when they both came, he sat on the opposite couch as me. He had his head down the whole time and I kept starring at him. He kept avoiding eye contact. I knew he had told her something I didn’t know about. That gut feeling kept coming back. One morning, I had had enough and I confronted him. It was about 2 weeks before our sons bday party. That morning, I told him that I felt like something was wrong. He told me there was nothing wrong and that I was insecure. We argued and I started crying. I felt useless. I was on the floor and he was on the bed. He raised his voice and told me he didn’t love me. In that moment, I became paralyzed. A million questions arised in my head. What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? I kept blaming myself. I started hating myself. That’s when I lost who I was. Who I’d become. Who I was molded into. I tried to fix whatever was wrong with me, which I didn’t know what, in order to save our relationship. I tried fixing everything, which was basically nothing, to please him. I became very lost in myself. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I became a stranger to myself. Who was I? Day after day, tear after tear passed by. I was scared of the days. Another day ment another day I had to face. Days and nights became my biggest fear. Time became a stressor. I became my worst enemy. I had to start a new life.

I developed anxiety, stress and depression all in one. I would cry day and night and it would come at random times. Sometimes, due to the anxiety, the pain in my chest would cause me to drop to the floor. I lost weight and I was sick all the time. I became bipolar with myself! My world became dark! In the midst of it all, the only person I was holding onto was God. I would picture myself holding onto His arms. Crying at His knees. Hugging Him. He was the only one that was and still is, there for me. My faith became strong. That’s when I heard Him tell me, “seek me!” Thankfully, everyone around me didn’t give up on me. Everyone kept pushing me. I would call who ever popped on my phone first to just cry and talk. I felt dumb, but I knew I couldn’t do it alone! That’s when I knew I needed to change and become a new identity. I wasn’t going to carry all this guilt for the rest of my life. I had my son looking up to me! I had to learn to love myself again.

Days became better than others. Those little voices in my head became to lessen. I eventually started going to church, to recover with the help of God. To become restored. To have my heart healed again. The Christian music station became my favorite! My sons babysitter would always hug me and tell me that she was always praying for us. She always brought the right messages to me at the perfect moments! I starting picking myself up little by little and I started enjoying life! I starting realizing that with God next to me, everything was better. Thanks to God, I had my first vacation with my son and my friend! If it wasn’t for God, I’d be stuck in the past. I started smiling again.

Fast forward, 7 months later, and here I am! I still cry, don’t get me wrong. Every once in a while, I get anxiety attacks. There’s a few things in my life Im not happy about. Being a single mom is not easy! One spoiled kid for one person becomes a daily challenge! But it’s also a great motivator! I want to set a great example for my son! I want him to look up to me! I want him to hug me someday and thank me for everything I’ve done! My son is my motivation! I just think to myself of all the wonderful things God has helped me out in and how far I’ve come! I know he has more things stored for me and Damian! He sees everything! He’s held every tear Ive cried! I’ve learned that there’s a thin line between good and evil. God is all good. Evil is bad. When evil gets his way, that’s when we have to break the chain and walk with Faith. God goes before us!

I can’t say that I’m 100% content with myself. I know this is just the beginning! Life will always be a journey! I’m finally taking care of myself and I’m working really hard to become a better version of myself! I’ve become so motivated and blessed that I even got promoted at work! I see a bright future right there! My next move is to buy a house for me and my son! I know God will bring us into a home very soon! He knows I hate living with my parents! But for now, this is where I need to be in this point in life! I’m more comfortable with me and I don’t hate myself the same way I used to. Like everyone, I have insecurities. I can stay that I'm beautiful! My son tells me I’m beautiful too! I have a huge heart and I’m a warrior! How I said before, I don’t wish whatever I went through on anyone. I pray every night that God can help whoever is on the edge, to help them! I’m still seeking God! I still pray. I’m excited for my future!!!

I wrote this because I know that it can help someone out. You’re not alone! As many times and people give you advice, it sometimes doesn’t make sense. But never ever give up!!!! Seek God and I promise you that things will get better!!! I still vent out to my friends sometimes, but we all need to do that! We all need the right people to push us. Don’t let everyone in on your life. Keep certain people at a safe distance. Keep certain things to yourself. We only have one life. Today maybe our last! As dark as the days may get, look up to the sky and be thankful that you’re breathing. I’m still seeking who I really am. Haven’t found my identity yet, but i am happier! I will keep writing to detail my journey with life and God.