#im so freaking annoyed

[puzzlebone]

this sleepover isnt going well idk abt u :/

[cephalonheadquarters]

Finally....Refs have been remade and relationships have been charted...

Height comparisons & icons alone under cut

>.>

<.<

art fight & toyhouse ....

also feel free to ask about them if u want i like talking....

[anonymouscheeses]

They are everything to me.

[sonknuxadow]

^ epic sonknux win btw

[oceanwithouthermoon]

im thinking about kubosai where kuboyasu is considering whether or not he should confess to saiki, and saiki gets tired of listening to his thoughts being like "ugh but i dont think he likes me back!" so he starts trying hard to make his feelings known, but his pathetic loser ass literally doesnt realize that what hes doing is called flirting

[lizardbrainlabs]

woahhh new archangel just dropped guys /j

[breezebloxx]

some notable burn stories from the last six months :)

[inkyquince]

Oh yeh but also orin being a little incest freak that creeps everyone in the party out. Orins father/grandfather is brother to the dark urge, and we all know this, but she's still gonna be such a freak towards them.

Used to pop up behind them to press her lips their neck their, mouthing as the fragile skin with the most wanton desire to sink her teeth in and lick the marks free of blood.

To drag her hands over their thighs and grip their wrists and press against them. Possessive and cruel and wishing that the blood they share would form into chains and bind them to her.

[compacflt]

I just wanted to say as someone who has stumbled across your blog and has read your Wednesday wips and posts about anything topgun related that your thought process and consideration of mav and ice, specifically their political beliefs and relationships with their own identities, is honestly so impressive and cool. You have brought such realism and life to these characters which is just so refreshing to see. idk i just wanted to express how cool and awesome i think that is

Because of the thought into these characters does it make it difficult to like them or understand them if you have differing opinions from them? for me personally i feel like if i were to ever actually have a convo with ice or mav regarding identity politics i would actually start to lose my mind (like how one feels when your dad or fun uncle talks for too long at thanksgiving dinner). If it does make them difficult to like, does that make it difficult for you to write them sometimes?

oh yeah! i think, my ice i really empathize with & really love & really could get along with, once he grows out of the sexism of his teens & twenties, but my maverick drives me crazy. someone sent in an ask a while ago that was like “WHY is cyclone simpson your one true love??” And it’s because i too would absolutely hate maverick & hate working with him lol. people who are overly cocky & un-self-aware & a bit self-centered make me CRAZY. (narrator voice: compacflt is a hypocrite as all these things also apply to compacflt.)

Politically… It’s difficult to say. no one really wants to hear the intricacies of one person’s political journey, which is why i won’t give you mine, but suffice to say—since the start of the russian invasion of Ukraine, and my semi-concerted effort to learn more about the political landscape of modern warfare, my own personal beliefs have shifted a whole bunch. definitely aided in that shift by my top gun fic project that specifically aims to understand the conservative straight-passing male mindset as it relates to military matters… there are many end goals to a project like mine, but one end product is a filter you can take away and hold up in front of your eyes and see the world through it. When writing from the eyes of a conservative straight (passing) white man, your priorities totally shift. I had to write from the perspective of someone who doesn’t care about identity politics. Because they don’t! A core tenet of conservatism is very proudly not caring about that stuff, and being very annoyed when people (usually left-of-centers) make that stuff very visible and want you to care about it! “Don’t shove it in my face,” etc., etc. Don’t force me to care about this taboo, private thing I really don’t care about. It violates my freedoms, or whatever, to be forced to care—or even bear witness to—stuff that i don’t care about. Etc. And then, to be nominally a part of that community that you really, really don’t care about, and then to be told that you have to care about it because of your publicity… people asking you to be proud of something that has had a negative connotation for much of your entire life… that’s not a transformation that happens easily.

Jesus, I could write an essay about this. I have, several times by now in responses to asks over my blog. But there is so much that I could talk about. I think… I really worry that some of my writing falls into the first of the below categories:

I really try not to romanticize conservatism in my writing—I tried to show that ice and mav’s happiness is the price they pay for their conservatism. They’re actively choosing to be unhappy—but because they prioritize their honor over everything, due to EXTERNAL PRESSURES they cannot control, and which I think are often ignored in the fandom space for one reason or another. The fact of the matter is, in 99% of IPs, characters prioritize something other than their sexualities. It’s never Maverick’s personal identity that is at stake in either Top Gun or Top Gun: Maverick, because he has built himself so impermeably masculine that there are no grounds upon which to question his personal identity. He just isn’t thinking about it. He’s thinking about how to get into Charlie’s pants, how to win the Top Gun trophy, how to uphold his promise to Goose, et cetera. If he’s fucking guys on the side, it’s because he wants to and because hes maverick and he does what he wants without thinking about it—that’s the whole point of his character, from a story-construction standpoint. That’s his archetype. He’s a renegade maverick superstar who is both thoughtlessly brilliant and thoughtlessly dangerous. He’s thoughtless. His priorities are to survive and to look cool doing it, and that’s it. He is a savant in the Naval Air Force, where honor is your lifeblood, who feels he has been dishonored by his own family name, and who willingly joined the conservative post-Vietnam Navy right when/after Ronald Reagan was elected President, and who wears cowboy boots and who disrespects women to their faces, and who is eager to get into altercations with Soviet-Chinese-DPRK-X-second-world-country-coded-but-EXPLICITLY-Soviet-manufactured-Mikoyan-Gurevich-MiG-28s(-F-5s-painted-black)… I’m sorry. In my opinion, the conservatism is baked into him as a character. I find it extremely difficult to separate him from his conservatism, because in some ways his patriotic conservatism is his raison d’etre. IMO if you take that away from him, he ceases to exist.

Same thing with Ice and his unwillingness to openly rebel or go against the grain. That is his whole reason to exist in the story at all. I know that I’m saying this in a fandom space where the whole point is to change characters & put them in different situations (fanfic) but… in kind of a perverse self aware way, as in I know I sound ridiculous and pretentious, i guess i don’t really understand an impulse to change the core tenets of a character irreparably in fanworks. We are shown that ice always goes by the books in TG. Then we are shown that he achieves the fruits of that labor (four stars) in TGM. So he is rewarded for never rebelling, whereas Maverick, who always rebels (but NEVER in a way that challenges his personal identity), has stagnated in the ranks at full-bird O-6. And that’s Ice’s character. That’s what he’s there for in the story—he’s a tool to show us the value system of rank and prestige you earn by following the rules of the Navy. Why take that away from him? That’s his priority! Canonically, that’s his priority and reason for existence! And historically the way to achieve that priority is through conservatism.

And you ask me if it’s hard to like my ice and mav. Yes, but that’s not my choice. The movie already did that for me. They are not, I’m sorry, likable people. I am not a straight white conservative male writing about straight white conservative men to validate my own beliefs—I’m a queer AFAB person of color writing about straight white conservative men because I want to understand the limits of their conservatism. What they do and do not care about, and what it takes to make them care. And from what we are shown in TG… ice and mav would not care about ME. At all. And they would not want to be forced to care about me. Ice’s casual careless dismissiveness… “the plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies’ room…” mav following Charlie into the bathroom… turning the key in the ignition and driving away while pretending not to hear her… “what?? i can’t hear you! 🙉” … they do not care. They have no desire to care.

Again. Maybe I subscribe to a very very old-school and labored and pretentious ideology when it comes to writing… I know a lot of people write just to have fun. I do not. I wish i could, but I don’t. And when you’re not writing to have fun, you don’t have to like the characters you’re writing about. They’re nothing more than tools at your disposal to get your point across more effectively. No, I don’t like them! Of course not! My ice is cruel and cowardly and careless and hypocritical and subservient and weak, and my mav is demanding and dangerous and dismissive and oblivious and so, so, so unbelievably bitter.

And that’s what my story needed, to get my point across. So, shrug. My point was my priority. I don’t care too much about the characters themselves.

Re: icemav & identity politics. Part of hopefully selling this story is the attempt at empathy for the conservative male, to bring this discussion back to the top. Why write fiction at all if you’re not going to write about people different from you, and why write about people different from you if you don’t want to understand them? So… part of trying to understand them was to understand and have empathy for this shift in priorities. Conservative guys do not want to care about labels, or sexual orientations, or, God forbid, discussion of their gender identities. I can kind of see Ice tolerating it by the end… but, there are limits. Again, it’s supposed to be private. I think he’d chafe against getting labeled gay—he wouldn’t want to be called the first gay compacflt, or SECNAV, etc. He can’t say, “i slept with like a hundred fifty women before I even MET the ONLY man ive ever slept with,” because that’s like intensely private personal information!! No one deserves that information, but people still want to call him gay, even though in his head he really is not!!!! Again—from the conservative perspective, it’s a public imposition of left-wing, overly sexualized, too-neat labels and politics onto an area of life that has typically been kept private and respectable—I don’t agree with the conservatism, but I can at least empathize with it. Pre-Maverick’s death (pre-coming to terms with it), it would’ve been shameful & embarrassing to him; but even after coming to terms with it, it’s still not something he “takes pride” in. I think he thinks of it like this—most people aren’t proud of being straight. Like, it’s weird if you are. Same thing with being proud of being white, etc. Why be excessively proud of things you have no control over? Why not take pride in your ACTIONS—for instance, his career that he has actively sacrificed so much of his pride for? I can really empathize with that thought. I don’t necessarily agree, but I get it, especially in his professional circumstances, where he has so much to be professionally proud of, and yet people keep wanting him to publicly care about this private part of him he has no control over and can’t change.

Maverick though. I think he’d be actively hostile about talking about it in public. He Does Not Care. he does not want to care. It’s all an insult. They call him the first openly gay Ace cause he’s married to another man— “okay, but, like, I’m not. Stop calling me that. Neither of us are. Oh my god we have slept with so many women. Stop calling us that.” Ok then what do you want us, the press corps, to call you? First openly bisexual Ace? “No that’s worse!! That’s a word some teenager made up and doesn’t mean anything!! I’m sixty years old stop asking me to talk about this stuff im too old.” What do you have to say to LGBT kids who want to go into the navy? “😎👍 there’s a place for you etc etc. Let’s go back to talking about all the planes I shot down.” Maverick does what he wants without thinking about it. That’s the core tenet of his character. Very conservative. Don’t ask him to care too much.

Idk. No I don’t like them. But I understand them, if that makes sense. Like their conservative anti-label logic does make emotional sense to me. So that’s part of what I took away from this project, for better or worse… probably worse: I understand why conservatives don’t like the modern over-publicity of sexuality. They don’t care and they don’t want to care. And because they are small-C conservative, my ice and mav still don’t care lol. So, yeah. It doesn’t make them hard to write, because thats why I wanted to write them in the first place.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 733: Sugimoto vs Danchiku

Pag 1

1: By the way, Sugimoto-san, what about your “special technique”?

2: … ah

3: My self-awareness isn't that low that I didn't come prepared!!

Pag 3

2: Huh!?

3: He.... has it? A “special technique”!?

4: Sugimoto!!

5: I'll tell you one more time.... one more time

Pag 4

1: Come at me!!

Danchiku Ryuuhou!!

2: Go, Danchiku!!

4: Garu-

Pag 5

1: Bamboo Hop Shot!!

Garuaaa

Pag 6

4: He caught up in an instant!!

5: Nice, Danchiku

Pag 7

1: Keep going like this, pass him and tear him off!!

2: Sorry, Sugimoto-san, but!!

Please let me pass you, garuaa!!

3: I won't let you

4: do that, Danchiku!!

Pag 8

3: Damn!! Haha in such a crucial moment!! All these trees block the view and we can't see!!

Hahah!!

4: What happened to those two, teh...

It looked like Danchiku-san caught up to him in one go and passed him ,but

Pag 9

1: Sugimoto!!

2: Sugimoto!!

3: Don't worry, first years!! Once we pass these trees we should see that Danchiku tore Sugimoto-san off and opened a distance of 100... no, 200m

Teh!!

4: He'll be riding in the lead!!

5: Ah, right, that's true

6: There's something I heard from the senpais.... until now, Sugimoto-san never stood out in races or got any good result... he even retired sometimes...

7: On the other hand, last year during the Minegayama Hill-climb race, Danchiku-san fought against a guy from Hakone Academy who had participated in the Inter High

8: And he won!!

Teh!?

The difference in their strengths has always been....

Pag 10

1: clear...

Huh!?

Pag 11

1: They're neck and neck!!

2: Sugimoto-san!!

5: He's following!! Woah

He's working hard to stay lined up to him, teh, Sugimoto-san!! Huh!?

Pag 12

2: Haha, what are you doing, Danchiku!!

You have to pedal seriously!!

3: …. I was pedaling seriously....

6: When we passed the curve with the thick trees, I bent my frame with all my might

Pag 13

1: We hit each other's shoulders, and I thought he would falter

2: Then I kept accelerating like that and thought I could leave him behind

3:  But this guy

4: didn't fall behind!!

5: Moreover.... usually, when you're chasing an opponent, you stay behind them

You use your opponent against the wind... but this guy.... when accelerating now

Pag 14

1: He lined up next to me!!

As if he just wanted to prove that we're “equal”!!

2: Knowing that he's wasting his stamina!!

4: Of course, the second year is doing his best

So I, as a third year.... in this race

5: I'll let him practice against someone more experienced than him!!

Pag 15

3: Issa.... I...

Calm down, Danchiku!!

4: You're stronger than him!!

You're stronger!! It's alright, he justhappened to be able to follow you with his eyes in this first attack, that's it

5: Attack over and over again and you'll tear him off!!

This guy can't keep up with you so many times!!

6: Kaburagi-san... incredible.... teh

Yeah.... even though Sugimoto-san is right next to him, he's dissing him to his face....

7: Don't falter, have confidence, Danchiku

Yeah!!

8: Sugimoto-san!! For now, how about we say you race until that line over there?

The sun will set soon

This lap will be like...

Pag 16

1: “500km” for each other!!

5: A “special technique”, in other words, it's the momentary activation of you own's “field of expertise”

6: Understanding your own “field of expertise” polishing it up, consciously controlling and, it in time of need – that specialty...

Pag 17

1: letting it explode

-go!!

2: But that's not something everyone can do

3: And it's especially troublesome when you can't find your own “special technique”

4: Or it could be that for most people, they don't know what they excel in, what their specialty is

5: And in that moment, they have no choice but spend time looking for it

Pag 18

1: Using their intelligence and body, facing themselves and trying out

Over and over again

2: Only in the midst of “failure” you can find it

3: “Failure”, huh

4: Then, about that

Pag 19

1: you might be the most experiecned among us!!

Pag 20

1: Dammitl, he caught up again!!

2: What's this guy's deal...

Even though he's so out of breath!!

3: Danchiku!!

4: Back... back in the day....

5: Here is Sohoku there was a person called Tadokoro-san

His body was so huge... and he always thought of his kouhai

Pag 21

1: He said that in order to be fast, “oxygen” was important

So

2: I practiced runnin whil taking in oxygen a lot

3: And there was a person called Kinjou-san, and he was very skillful in controlling the bike, so I practiced imitating his bike control

5: It was all a failure, but, but, Danchiku- have you ever heard these words?

6: In road racing the most important things are “practice” and

Pag 22

1: “Experience”!!

6: Sugimoto-san jumped ahead!! Chyase him!! Danchiku!!

[httpiastri]

broccoli boy 🥺

[softness-and-shattering]

How many homoreotic swords fights so far?

Taigen and Mizu x2? x3?

Mizu and horse man

Plus the whole conversation with Madam Kaji was just. Mhhm mhmm. I dont remember the exact wording and subtext now but.

[bishonenspit]

this is so so funny to me i cannot stop thinking about it. for years people shipped these men who look like the same guy twice and allegedly nobody was like surely this has to mean something. i thought these guys were the same character for about as long. and also this person really thinks that something this would stop a truly devoted fujoshi

[colemckenzies]

how 2 unlearn the core belief that i make people's lives worse and the world would be better if i didn't exist.

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

[bare1ythere]

Trying to figure out why this guy in my discussion group for class was annoying me so much and I finally figured it out: I hate being in any class after 3:30pm and the moment I set foot in that room I am immediately irritated just by the fact that I'm there