#im so sad i couldnt finish on time 😭 😭

[taohs]

"I'm going to prove to the world that you're the best there is. So all you have to do… is play football, while only trusting me." Reo Mikage (御影玲王) for @okkottsus ♡

[cindylcuwho]

“ your first munch ★ ”

— ★ matt sturniolo x afab! reader

★ ) summary ; after matt confessed to never eating a girl out, you offer to be his first taste

★ ) warnings ; switch! matt (not rly man is submissive) , oral (fem receiving) overuse of “you” and “he” 😭, thigh biting, teasing, pet names (baby)

★ ) madds note ; i re-wrote this so many times and im acc kinda sad bc the ending SUCKS . but idk enjoy (im still wattpad core so😭)

“i cannot believe—“ you let out a breathe, trying to calm down from laughing, “that thee matthew sturniolo, teenage girl heart throb, has never made a girl orgasm before?”

your words came out as if you couldn’t believe it, like you were asking if it were true even though he had just admitted to it.

matt shifted awkwardly on the couch, crossing his arms with a huff. he softly shoved your legs, which were spread on top of his own.

“i have, just not by.. you know,” he motioned his curled his fingers. he couldn’t finish the sentence, embarrassed by what he had admitted to you. poor baby didn’t even know if he moved his fingers in the right way.

what started off as just a fun little game of truth of dare quickly turned more sexual as you scrolled deeper into googles recommended searches.

“haven’t you had a girlfriend before??” you sat up straighter, now intrigued. your feet unhooked on his right thigh with a pillow in your lap.

“i thought you two were getting it on- wait does this mean you’ve never gotten head??” the unanswered questions were piling on top of each other, all you were dying to know the answers to.

“no, ive been given head before but anytime id offer to give it back she’d refuse, i didn’t wanna push her into that.”

you nodded your head, processing his words. matt has always been nice like that, always obeying to everyone and never asking questions.

he was such a good person you often wondered if he even knew where to draw the line when someone was being awful towards him.

maybe matt would also be like that during sex. would he be into getting overstimulated? would his thighs shake as he cried and begged for you to stop- oh my god. maybe he’d cry harder because you stopped.

you were dying to be one of the lucky few to find out.

the awkward silence was cut short when a devilish idea came to your mind.

“if you want,” you swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing, “i can be your first munch.”

matt’s eyes widened at your offer, “you being deadass?” he let out an airy laugh. you two were close, so close you knew each others underwear sizes but he never thought you would be into him.

not that matt wasn’t into you, god he would bet on everything that you would look gorgeous while moaning his name. not that you already don’t just sitting on the couch with loose clothing, his clothes, though the thoughts of what you’d look like as he was pleasuring you until no return creeped into his mind.

his eyes were trained on the floor, if he looked you in the eye he might cum in his pants on the spot.

“i was joking, don’t worry”

you truly weren’t, but you didn’t want to ruin the mood with your selfish thoughts.

matt laughed along with you. he couldnt tell if you were lying or not. did you not want him as bad as he wanted you?

taking a bold step, his fingers glazed over from your calf to your thigh in one stroke.

the sudden feeling made your entire body tingle with excitement. you were so close to begging him to do more.

it’s like your body was already craving him and he has barely done a thing.

he bit his lip as he silently sank from the edge of your bed to his knees. “do you have to be joking?”

matt looked so pretty like this. he was patiently sitting on the heels of his feet. his blue eyes shined as he looked up at you, waiting for an answer. his lips were plump, waiting to be kissed. his left hand rested in between his thighs.

the thought of him jacking off to pleasing you only enticed your feelings more.

he gave your thigh a tight squeeze, a silent signal for you to respond. you shook your head, “please.” you whispered.

“hm? please what?” he cocked his head to the side, the look of eagerness he was holding made your downer lips flutter even more than they had been.

“please, please touch me matt.”

he didnt need to be told twice. his hands spread your legs apart, and you helped to pull down your pants, moving faster than you normally would.

matt didn’t move to touch you, he was too scared of doing something wrong and wasn’t sure how to. “baby?” you leaned down to cup his cheek, “hey, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s completely up to you”

matt let out a loud whine, tears already pooling in his eyes. “i really, really do. i just don’t know what to do” he rested his hand on your left knee in defeat.

his lips slowly pressed into the skin, moving up. even if matt didn’t know what he was doing, he only knew he wanted to continue feeling your skins warmth against him.

matt bit down into your left thigh, earning a ‘hiss’ from you. he quickly backed his head away, a tear already rolling down his cheek from thinking he truly hurt you.

you giggled at him, leaning down to lick the tear away. he closed his eyes as your tongue made contact, taking in the wet feeling with gratitude.

grabbing his right hand, you slowly moved it up your thigh and stopped directly at your covered hole.

he bent the majority of his fingers, leaving only the middle and ring finger up. he took your head nod as a response and moved your panties to the side, slowly sliding the digits inside you.

you couldn’t help let out a moan at the sudden curl into your g-spot. matt stopped his movements, worried he already did something bad.

“no, baby don’t stop- loved that.”

matt continued the previous movements, “fuck,” he whispered to himself. the noises coming from both you and your running slick was music to his ears and made their way down to his cock, creating a tent in his pants.

his tattoo-covered arm raced down to his own crotch, palming at the growing tent in his pants. he didn’t continue, denying himself the opportunity to get off to you.

this is about your pleasure, not his.

matt moved his head closer. the smell your sweetness only made him his cock harder.

you let out a whine as he softly bit your thigh once more. you could feel him smile into your skin, softly sucking against the area before pulling away and moving to attack your most needed area.

your hips rolled on matt’s fingers as his tongue moved from flicking your clit to licking all over the place. he was addicted to your taste, lapping up everything your body would give him.

he pulled away, making you whine at the loss. “am i doing okay?” matt licked his lips, looking at you with blown out pupils.

“matt, you were doing so good, ple—“ he didn’t need to be told anything more before his tongue was already being shoved inside you.

his fingers were moving painfully slow in against your clit as his tongue pumped in and out of you, creating a build up of pleasure within your core.

“mm- fuck, matt” your hands tangled in his fluffy strands, tugging him closer than humanly possible. he relished at the harshness, moaning on your clit.

his hips subconsciously grinded against your bed, chasing his own high.

letting out a loud cry, a wave of sensations went through your body, grinding yourself against matt’s face.

he took it all with a wide smile, slurping up all the bits of cum his tongue could find.

once matt was done licking up all your juices, he put your panties back in their place. you pulled him upwards on the bed, cradling him in your arms.

“are we sure that was your first time?” you sighed, teasingly slapping his cheeks with the littlest pressure

he nodded his head yes. you two were silent for a moment before he spoke up,

“does this have to be the only time?”

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

can u make a story bout matt and y/n and they get in a really bad argument that leaves matt and y/n thinking about their slowly shattering relationship ?

(sorry i love angst 😭😭)

love ya !!

#🩹

breaking point

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary - this rec^^

warnings - angst, kissing, swearing, use of y/n, kind of really sad

a/n: sorry this came out so late and to the person who requested i hope this is good <3

NOT PROOFREAD

-

matt and i have been dating for 4 months and it was going amazing until recently. my friends warned me about the 3 months relationship mark and boy were they right. we have been going through a really rough patch arguing about simple shit all day, to the point where i would frown at my phone more than i would hope.

we were so happy until we couldnt make time for one another. between his crazy filming schedule and me having a normal job one of us was always busy. eventually we realized both of us had no time to be alone together and just be happy. when we did talk it was about how we need to make more time for eachother and other than that we were busy. which brings us to our dinner date that was slowly coming to an end.

“hi ill just get the bill please.” matt smiles at our waiter. i just pick at my skirt as we sit in silence. both of us were already upset with eachother before we went for dinner and then had to sit in a formal setting angry, quiet, wanting to work everything out, and still hungry as i was too upset to eat. i spent the night picking at my plate and matt pretty much did the same.

“matt i, i need you to see this from my point of view.” i mumble quietly. “stop, we will talk at home. right now im just trying to get us out of here ok?” he locks eyes with me gripping his wallet.

i nob in response as i feel tears pricking my eyes. the dim light above the table highlighting the tears threatening to spill out and i inhale sharply as matt stares at me. no expression on his face.

he pays for our dinner and i grab my coat and walk to the exit of the restaurant. fresh air hitting me like a brick as i felt i couldnt breathe in the restaurant.

the drive home was completely silent. i just sat there my purse in my lap and starring out the window. the only sound being the car engine and the occasional blinker noise.

we get to his house and he doesnt even bother getting my car door like he always used to. i enter the house after him and begin to take my shoes off. the house is quiet due to chris and nick being out of the house tonight, they wanted to give us space but honestly i would kill to hangout with one of his brothers right now. at least the air wouldnt be so stiff.

matt goes to his room and then walks to him bathroom as i work on my heel strap. all in complete silence. i grab a shirt of his and a pair of my underwear that i keep in the drawer he emptied out for me that is fulled with extra clothing and pyjamas for when im over.

i wait for him to finish showering and he walks in with wet hair and plaid pyjama pants on. “you can go.” he points to the door. “what?” i say my heart breaking at him kicking me out.

“baby go shower we were out of the house.” he says as i sigh in relief. i smile and slightly nod at him as i walk out to the bathroom.

once im done showering i find matt sitting at the end of his bed withe his elbows on his knees and phone in hand. he looks up at me as i stand in the doorway drying my hair off with a towel. you could cut our tension with a fucking knife it was almost suffocating. “can we talk now.” i ask. he pats the spot next to him and i move to sit.

“whats happening to us matt, we used to be so happy and connected.” i look down at my lap. “we are happy and connected y/n.” he says. he knows its a lie, we arent happy with eachother right now.

“we are sitting right next to eachother and i feel like were completely different rooms right now. thats not feeling connected.” im extremely frustrated at how matt cant confront the issue here.

“im right here” he grabs my hand, “why dont you feel the same. we are happy and in love and want this relationship more than anything.”

“i cant because we never make time for one another. your always with chris and nick filming or at an LA party with tons of girls.” i remove his hands from mine, “im not blaming you i just want effort from you.”

“your insecure about other girls? seriously. how is that my fault. who planned tonights dinner?” he asks

i stay silent.

“who planned tonights dinner.” he says in a scary tone. i freeze as he is correct but going on dates has nothing to do with repairing our relationship. “your getting on my fucking nerve.”

“matt a fucking dinner date isnt going to solve our problems. we need to work together to be able to be in the same room without sitting in complete shitty silence. i cant take it anymore.” i say as tears begin pooling out of my eyes.

“oh now your crying, what the fuck are you talking about. i have been putting in effort to this relationship you want me to be the bad guy here so bad. if you dont think its working you can leave. you need to learn when its time to stop. you push and push and push.”

“matt its not that i dont think its working. we can find a way around this we just need to work together. i dont see effort in the sense that you never make time for me. theres always something more important and i cant stand it anymore.” i say getting louder.

“no, your blaming me saying that you are the only person putting in effort. im not your personal serotonin dose im your fucking boyfriend. i can only do so much. if what im doing isnt enough take your shit and leave im not going to put up with this bullshit.” he shouts as tears well in his eyes.

i stare at him as tears fall out of my eyes. ive never seen him angry enough to yell. i never knew i would be the person to push this out of him. “matt if you love me you will help me fix this. we are adults not fucking teenagers that are going to break up over nothing. i love you with everything in me and want to be with you more than anything. if we keep ignoring this were going to end up broken.” i plead

“i love you enough to know that your being a bitch right now. making me the bad guy and trying to sugar coat it. well you clearly dont think this is working based off of what your saying to me.” he stands up. “if thats what you think you can sleep on the couch or get the fuck out and go home.” he wipes his eyes as tears stream.

now sobbing i get up quietly and make my way to the living room. “matt we cant be over.” i wipe my eyes and sniffle, turning around to him in the door way.

“you tell me.”

-

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn

a/n: how are we feeling???

[jjunsolos]

TXT REACTIONS TO - you crying over a song

when txt walks in on you crying over a sad song

pairings - txt x gn!reader (separately)

warnings - none much. reader just cries in all of the reactions

genre - fluff, tiniest of angst, crack

a/n - i got this idea after listening to ‘no me queda mas’ by selena😪 when i tell you i was BAWLINGG !! anywayyy i decided to post this since i havent been updating the smau (my bad yall) but also coz this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long😭 so i hope yall enjoy 💗

(bold = reader)

[yeonjun] <3

- bro walks in and just sees you bawling your eyes out

- confused coz wtf are you doing in the dark blasting bruno mars 🤨

- “uh… baby? are you oka-“

- couldnt finish his sentence coz you start sobbing loudly

- most definitely thinks youre going through something

- decides to sit next to you and rubs your back as you sob your heart out

- “sorry… this song is just so sad”

- “no dont apologize baby” *smiles widely* “ill be your shoulder to cry on”

- teases you when youve calmed down fs

[soobin] <3

- worried bby :(

- abt to start crying just coz youre crying (this pure soul🤧)

- sits next to you and hugs you super duper tight

- (pls keep in mind he still has yet to find out why youre crying)

- grabs a tissue box and starts wiping your tears and your snot. despite it grossing him out just a littleee 🤏 bit

- finally asks why youre crying and… welp

- his face literally goes from “🥺🤨😐😑”

- “babe i thought someone died !!! you worried me so much ahhhh”

- dramatic noises coz bby was REALLYYY worried for a second

- but its okay coz at least youre crying over something minor

[beomgyu] <3

- confused pt.1

- first instinct, as bad as it sounds, is to record you😭

- like lets be honest, the second he heard adele from the other room he alr knew you were gonna end up in tears

- comes up to you and starts fake crying

- you look at him like “🥺🤨”

- “what? you cant just cry alone. you need my cries to finish yours”

- changes the music to something else coz his throat starts hurting from all the fake crying😭

- shows you the video he took an hour later and you alr know hes laughing as he does so

[taehyun] <3

- honestly babes didnt even notice you were crying

- he came into the room to grab something and didnt notice you were crying till he turned around

- confused pt.2

- doesnt understand why youre crying till he hears ‘for you’ by bts playing

- as a fellow army himself, he understands

- grabs a box of tissue and your favorite stuffed animal and hands it to you

- and when you look at him confused, he just replies with “for the tough times”

- walks out and cooks you some nice soup for when youre done with your crying session

[hueningkai] <3

- heard sniffling and thought you caught a cold

- turns out youre crying over music :\

- kinda stands at the door like “🧍🏾”

- literally doesnt speak bc “actions speak louder than words”

- grabs one of his many stuffed animals and comes towards you with it

- “yah im gonna tickle you if you dont stop crying this instant”

- ends up tickling you anyways coz he wants to hear your furious giggles and laughs (🥹💔)

- cuddles you while rubbing your back

- “im gonna do this to you every time i catch you crying”

[snazzi-strawberri-artz]

AAAAAAAAAAA IM FINALLY DONE WITH CHARACTER SHEETS FOR MY ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE KIDS WHICH IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR AGES NOW😭😭😭

Although i couldnt fully finish quinn and alice because school is starting literally tomorrow for me so i had to cut down on the expressions and poses 😭 and also i want to work on something different now HAHA

BUT YEAH!! if you wanna see me ramble abt em and know more abt their lore and some additional sketches of em together, ill put em below to save your scrolling fingers!! :]

OKOK SO!! The designs on the character sheets are actually a bit of redesigns!

Like for example, Alice was supposed to have a bunny mask like the pic below, but i changed it because i couldnt think of a solid reason WHY shed have the bunny mask so unmasked it is! (although, a bit sad to lose the bunny mask because it was a cool design, but i can always use it in another oc i suppose!)

(Although i put a lil bunny design on her sneakers in her post apocalypse design, as a lil nod to this!)

OKAY SO THEIR LORE!! AHEM AHEM

Carmen : Shes the typical rich kid that comes from a prestigious rich school that few can get in, although their parents pressure them alot especially in how she presents herself and in her studies :(

She often gets forced to do things she doesnt want to do, but because of her parents high expectations and harsh judgement, they do it anyway even if theyre unhappy abt it :( [thats the reason why she looks so sad in her pre apoc. design!]

And in one of those things she doesnt want to do but does anyway because she was forced by her parents was Ballet!! And in that ballet class, they meet Darcy. She absolutely hates him in how much he trashtalks her and in every mistake they do, making her even more miserable. But even so, shes actually really good at ballet!! she just hates it HAHA <3

But ohoho!!! The apocalypse comes!! And she finds that with no society judging her every move, she finds freedom to be themselves!!! Mischievious and sly, as well as loving beating things up!! <3

Post apocalypse time! They realize that life is too short and precious to constantly worry about what you look like and to always cower under her parents gaze, so she goes #girlboss and lives her life the way she always wanted to be >:] She gets so good in fighting zombies that she becomes an instructor in self defense!! B]

----------

Darcy : ALSO a typical rich kid thats also very annoying and pompous in every way, loves belittling and trashtalking others for his own benefit <3

Hes also brothers with Anthony! Although they have a very strained relationship (to the point he wont talk to him) because Anthony never defended Darcy against their parents whenever they chastised him for wanting to be a ballerina because that aint a 'boys' thing and that fact he never was 'manly enough'🙄

But how does Darcy get these prestigious ballet lessons you may ask? Well he gets funded by his way cooler uncle B] in who he lives with!

Hes top in his ballet class, being the star pupil even, until Carmen arrived that changed everything. She was just as good as him, and maybe even more. And that shook him to the core. He had to be better than everyone, he just has to! Because what else was his effort and fight for?

So yeah, WOOHOO RIVALRY!!!! He made fun of her at every turn, talked shit behind her back, just anything to maker her miserable so they would stop attending classes.

Untillll the apocalypse came :]]] AHEHEHEE he was sure put in his place, as he had to begrudgingly team up with Anthony and Carmen of all people to survive. Although, they do get to bond, and becomes a better person during and after the apocalypse.

POST APOCALYPSE YAYY OKAY SO hes achieving his dream and training to be a ballet instructor!! >:D

--------------

Anthony : Hes a super duper kind sweetheart, very much contrasting to his brother, Darcy! Hes the captain of his schools soccer team too! Combined the fact that hes very kind and also very good at soccer, no wonder many other kids get crushes on him, but he never really returns the feelings.

But at the other side of the coin, hes afraid of making other people sad or disappointed, to the point where hes non-confrontational and self-sacrificing, and wants to be useful to others.

And why does he and Darcy have a complicated, strained relationship you may ask? Well hes afraid of confronting his parents that he ends up betraying Darcys trust and hurting his feelings because hes too afraid to defend him, even if he really wanted to. He feels really guilty about it everyday, but he cant bring himself to say a word against their parents.

At the start of the apocalypse, his first thought was to find Darcy. And with the help of Carmen and Quinn, he does! And during the apoc., it was hard to try to rebuild their relationship, but through understanding and trust, they become close again as they were when they were little children :]

And uh,, youre probably wondering why he doesnt have a post apocalypse design? To simply put it, he sacrificed himself for everyone to get out safely <3

--------

Quinn : The typical mean delinquent girlie who always gets in trouble in school along with her squad of bullies as they like bullying other kids and messing shit up that gives their school a constant headache😌😌😊

But sometimes, in the back of her mind, she knows that what shes doing and what her other 'friends' are doing can get too far. But that gets overlapped be her squads pressure to do shitty things. She cant turn back now, can she? She has no one except for her squad of 'friends'! 😔 So better do what they ask so she doesnt disappoint em! Plus the fact her family life is just... not good!!

[One person in particular got bullied so much that they moved schools because of them, which is Alice]

When the apocalypse hit, all her 'friends' left her to die, but was saved by Carmen! Hooray!! And during the apoc., with no squad to pressure her on, she doesnt know who she is without them. But she cant help but feel like she can breathe more as well. Plus the fact that shes teaming up with Alice, and has to confront her complicated feelings of the past with that.

after the apoc., she never goes back to her previous way of life, and goes to study to become a therapist so she could help troubled youth, as she was never given the help she needed before.

-------------

Alice : A very shy, quiet girl whod prefer to be in the corners to not be noticed by anyone. Very low confidence in her self as well as very self consious- as she was bullied in her previous school.

When the apocalypse came, she was saved by Carmen, Anthony, Darcy, and...Quinn??? One of her previous bullies from her previous school??? Gasp!! But yes During the apocalypse she slowly finds confidence in herself again, letting all out her feelings in smashing zombies heads!! >:D You go girl!!

And with Quinn, although she may never forgive her, she slowly gets along with her along the way.

After the apoc.,,,,, well honestly i have no idea ill just have to think about it more HAHA

--------------

AAANNDDD THATS IT THANK U FOR READING IF YOU DID!! :D Heres a strawberry as a reward!!🍓🍓🍓

[robinismywifee]

stargazing || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader carl grimes x oc x enid rhee (platonic bffs) daughter!oc x father!daryl dixon

summary TWD & TLOU crossover, takes place in alexandria basically if the group never met negan, daryl and aaron find joel and ellie and bring them in, 16 y/o ellie, mention of a not that important death in season 6 of TWD

warnings NSFW, dom!ellie, fingering, pet names (babe), smoking weed, mentions of drinking, ellie & oc are both virgins

a/n im mainly saying oc instead of reader because im using a name for her, (aimees/aime) cause i hate writing y/n but feel free to pretend its your name instead! any feedback & notes are appreciated, you may send requests but they have to be TWD or TLOU charaters x reader otherwise i wont do them, (no promises in general) this is my first tumblr post still trying to figure tumblr, out sorry if i fucked it up or something, i also dont proof read so theres probably a couple mistakes sorry 😭

wordcount 7.5k

carl placed down a red uno card, i smiled at that, placing down my red 5, "uno!" i shouted, holding the card close to my chest so they couldnt peek, my smile was soon dropped as enid placed down a green 2, i stood up placing my card down, revealing my red 4 to them, "i already lost" i mumbled, "rage quiter" carl called me, "im not a rage quitter! im just done playing with cheaters" i crossed my arms

"you so are a rage quitter aimees!" enid exclaimed, "and you so are a cheater!" i exclaimed back, "how are we cheating?" carl asked, "uh, cause you guys just are" i shrugged

"yeah right" carl scoffed jokingly

i watched them as they finished playing their uno game, enid ended up winning, "what time is it?" enid asked as she collected the messy cards around the table and placed them in the box

"uhhh.." i stood up, peeking my head in the kitchen to check the clock, "9:45" i yawned, i had woken up at 5am to go on a run and my eyes were getting heavy, ive been waiting for dad to get back but he hasnt yet.

"i think im gonna head back" i said, one thing about me is that even after being here for almost a year now, i still havent gotten use to sleeping in a real bed, at night in a real house, and i still have yet to call where i was staying, 'my home'

"yeah, me too" enid stood up aswell, "uhm.. enid?" i asked her, she knew what i was about to ask immediately, i hated sleeping alone, anytime my dad was out, i would ask enid to sleepover with me

enid gave me a sad-eyed look, "im sorry amiees, but i told maggie and glenn i'd be home for tonight" i shook my head with a small smile, "no worries, goodnight enid" i waves her off, she gave me a slight nod before she existed the house

i walked into the kicthen, carl was placing the snacks away, "hey" i said, he looked over his shoulder, his white eyepatch covering his old wound, "hey, i thought you weny home, whats up?" he asked, turning to face me

"could you please stay with me tonight? daryl hasnt gotten back yet, and enid needed to get home" i asked, "yea, let me just write my dad a note" he nodded with a smile

-

"hey, aimees" i heard a voice shake me awake, the sudden touch made me shot up and pull out my pocket knife that was under my pillow, but i immediately put it down when i realized it was just carl

"shit, you scared me" i panted, placing my knife back under my pillow, "sorry, i didnt mean to, but its almost 6:30 and im pretty sure your dads home" he said, his eye was tired and his hair was scruffy, meaning he had just woken up, but the topic of my dad made me shot out of bed, only in my socks, pajama plaid pants, and a thickstrap white tanktop without a bra, carl wore a grey hanley shirt and sweatpants

i opened up my door and ran down the steps, my dad was in the kicthen, talking to some other people but i didnt really care about them or have time to see who it was, i just ran up to my dad and hugged him which he of course hug back

"fuck you, you said you'd be back in a day!" i exclaimed as i pulled away, "i know, im sorry aimees, the storm slowed us down" he replied looking down at me, i knew the reason why he took an extra day was because of the rain storm but i couldnt care less, i still worried the worse possible thing

"i dont really care dad, you still said a day" i said with my head tilted, i wasnt actually mad, and he knew that, i was just annoyed that it took longer then normal and missed him

"yeah, i know, i missed you too" he rubbed my back gently, "can we have breakfast together? or are you gonna go back out again" i asked, "uh.." he hummed, i sighed, thinking he had to go back out again, but his gaze was around the room and not on me, i thought maybe he was looking at carl, but im always with either him or enid when he gets back

i turned my head to see what he was looking at, 2 people i've never seen before stood awkwardly a couple feet away from me, there was a man about the same age as my dad, and a girl about my age, the girl wore a white tanktop similar to mine with a white bandage around her right arm, with black skinny jeans, and converse. she had a side bang and her brown hair in a ponytail

"uh-" i stood there for a moment, before looking back to my dad, "are these the people?" i asked, he nodded slightly, i glanced back over to them, and back at my dad, "why are they here?" i asked, over the months, my dad and aaron have been bringing people and even a whole community back, they never once came to our house right, i mean maybe a few says after to stop by and say thanks or whatever, but they had just gotten here and were standing in our kicthen, dirt and sweat stuck to their skin

"ricks still out with michonne so i was tellin them the rules, and you're gonna give ellie some of your clothes" he pointed briefly at the girl, i turned back around, i nodded, i turned my head back to see carl standing there awkwardly too, "im ellie" the girl waved, her face was red, she. must be hot, i went to intruduce myself but the girl bumped her elbow into the man, motioning for him to intruduce himself, "im joel" he said, "hi.. im carl" carl said, standing behind me, "im aime" i smiled, i was actually quite happy dad brought home a girl my age, although carl and enid denied them dating, i still felt like i was always third wheeling

"aimees, why dont you go show them to their house next door, i havent slept in days" i didnt have time to reply as he walked off

"okay.." i mumbled, i looked down to my pajamas hanging over my socks, "uh, could you guys give us a second?" i asked, looking at joel and ellie, joel gave a stern nod, i looked over at carl, grabbing his wrist and led him away with me, i could feel the girls eyes on me as i left.

"i hated meeting new people before the dead started walking, and i hate it even more now" i whispered to carl as we walked up the steps, "yeah, i can tell" he said sarcastically, i shoved him as he hit the wall which made us both laugh

carl changed in my bathroom, as i changed in my room, putting on jeans, a bra, my shoes, and my holster with my gun and knife

"you coming with me to give them a tour right?" i asked carl, looking at him, "nah" he shrugged, i hit his shoulder, "yes you are" i yelled whispered, before we entered the kitchen, joel was in the same spot, while ellie was close up at an old family photo of me, my dad, and my mom

"sorry for the wait, we just woke up" i spoke, causing ellie and joel to look up from my sudden voice, "lets go" i nodded, as they followed me out my house

"uh, so, your guy's house is right next to mine" i said as i began to walk up the steps of the empty house, "hey aimees, im gonna go see if enid and maggie need help with the fence" he said from behind joel and ellie, ellie glanced at carl, but joels eyes stayed locked on ellie, i slowly died inside when he said that, i could tell ellie was looking at me but i still flipped off carl as he walked away with a smirk

"so where you guys from?" i asked, "houston" joel answered, that explains the accent, "boston" ellie answered, i looked at them confused, "oh you guys arent father and daughter? how do you know each other?" i asked, "long story" ellie answered, "okay, well, i mean.. this is your house, uhh, i dont think theres any blankets in your bedrooms and theres not any food, clothes or shower stuff, so you guys can like, i dont know, get situated? while i ran around alexandria and collect you guys a bunch of shit" i shrugged, unsure of what else to say

they both nodded, "ill try not to take to long, ill be back in maybe 30 minutes?" i said, unsure myself of how long it would take, "okay, thank you aime" joel nodded, "oh, uh, i know i introduced myself as aime but actually call me aimees, nobody calls me aime its actually kinda weird.. okay, see you" i said as i speed walked out the house

i walked in my house and let out the biggest sigh.

that was the most awkwardest thing ever.

i walked to my room, and took out about half my clothes for ellie, she only had a small school bookbag, so she probably only had a pair of underwear and some socks in there, if she was gonna live here now, she needed clothes

i folded them up, i was giving her my dark blue tanktop with spaghetti straps that was starting to fade, a grey tanktop with thick straps, a tan hanley that was too tight to fit me, a plaid flannel, light blue jeans, jean shorts, plaid pajama pants, 2 pairs of underwear, a black bra, and a pair of thick white socks. i hope thats good enough

i grabbed a basket and set everything in it, i opened the closet next to my bathroom, placing body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the basket, along with 2 toothbrushes, 2 things of toothpaste, and a razor and tampons for ellie

i figured i'd drop what i had off right now since they we're probably dying for a shower, plus the basket was over flowing

i knocked on there door, but nobody came, i went to knock again but a voice from inside came- "COMING!" i could tell by the voice that it was ellie, as joels is 10 times deeper and has no emotion

i waited for a moment before the door opened, "hi ellie" i greeted, she stood there looking at me for a moment, she seemed she was deep in thought, "oh! sorry, come in" she said, opening the door wider, i smiled walking in, she shut the door behind me, "i- i dont have everything right i just brought clothes and shower stuff since i figured that was probably the first thing you would want to do, and while your showering i was gonna get the rest" i said, basket in hand

"oh- right- yeah, thank you" she said, taking the basket from me, "i didnt bring any clothes for joel cause i dont know where to get him any and my dad was asleep, but ill work on finding him stuff" i added, she nodded looking up at me, "hes passed out right now, and probably will be for the rest of the day" she shrugged, i laughed at her saying it so serious, she laughed with me, "okay, well, enjoy your shower.. im supposed to tell you to not use up too much hot water, but knock yourself out, i mean, i know on my first day i did" i said before i left her house

-

its been a 3 days since ellie and joel joined alexandria, ellie hasnt really gone outside at all, i havent really seen her since the first day of her being here, only through our windows, our rooms are both upstairs and our windows face eachother, they have blinds but i didnt realize her room was the one across from mine until i was about to sneak out of my window for a smoke the other night

joel been out a lot more then ellie, asking ways to help out, joel was scary, i avoided him, but to be fair, i avoided everyone who wasnt from the orginal group or who wasnt in alexandria when we got there

just like deanna had done for us way back at the start, carol was throwing a welcome party for ellie and joel, i knew carol didnt really care for them joining us, it was just her way of making herself seem like an innocent sweetheart. i admired her tactics, but i definitely was not looking forward to it.

"you guys are going to the party right?" i asked carl and enid, "my dads gonna make me" carl answered, i looked over to enid, she shrugged, "i dont know"

carl smiled, as we both looked at enid for an answer, "still don't know if ill go, i always thought it was stupid and weird when deanna had them and now carols having them?" enid said, "okay well, youll be missing out" i sighed

-

here i was, walking to the house with open doors and music pouring out of it, my dad was by my side, "you know, ellies also 16, you should try to be friends with her" he said, "yea, yea, yea, i know thats the only thing youve been telling me for the past 2 weeks, 'oh youll love her, you guys would be best friends, she annoys the shit out of this guy like how you annoy the shit out of me'" i mocked my dads deep voice, thinking back to how he would come back from spying on them to see if they were safe and tell me about ellie

"she hasnt come out of her shell yet, but i do really think you'd make a great pair" he said as we walked into the house, "im gonna go get a drink and find rick, go find ellie" he pushed me into the crowd, i scoffed, he acts like hes social when i know damn well the only people he'll be talking to is rick and carol.

i searched the crowd for carl, i couldnt find him but i did see ellie with her arms crossed talking with joel, she looked so uncomfortable and so did he, god do i feel bad

i walked through the crowd, making my way to them, while i was making my way to them, some people pulled joel away to get a drink- or whatever adults do

ellie looked clueless

"hey" i said, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know i was there over the loud music, she jumped and looked at me, "oh, hi" she said, i could hear the nervousness in her voice, "im sorry about all this, you're practically being forced to go somewhere you dont want go to and forced to talk with people you dont know, i told rick and carol you guys werent the party type but they insisted it was the 'polite thing to do'" i explained, putting airquotes for my last words

ellie seemed to soften a bit at my words, "uh- yea, its just super weird going to a party when 5 days ago you were sweating your ass off trying to find a place to stay the night" she said, looking around, "yeah, trust me, i know how you feel, we didnt create this place, me and my group got taken in by aaron and his boyfriend, the leader at the time was named deanna, she threw a party for us too, and when she died, the leader of my group took over to be the leader of alexandria.. rick" i explained

"wheres your boyfriend?" ellie randomly asked, i furred my brows, "what?" i asked, "uh, the one with the long hair and eyepatch" she asked, "carl?" i asked in a high pitch questioning voics, "oh, yeah, carl" she nodded, "carl?" i asked again, she thinks im dating carl? "yeah?" she asked confused, "oh god, me and carl are like siblings, never in infinity years would we ever date! im gonna puke just thinking of that!" i exaggerated, "oh sorry, its just, my first day here, you guys came out of the same room together in your pajamas and stuff"

"oh! yea, he just slept over, i hate being alone" i explained, "me too" she said with a smile, "sorry, but can we please go somwhere else? i cant stand this crowd" i asked, she nodded, i took her hand in mine, dragging her through the crowd until i found carols bedroom, she wouldnt mind us being in here

"what do you like? any hobbies?" i asked, sitting on the edge of carols bed, ellie sat down next to me, "i love comics, joel somehow finds the best ones, and i have a notebook that i write and draw in" she said happily, "oh no shit? i love comics and drawing too!" i said back with a smile

"so have you and joel been with each other for awhile? he seems pretty protective over you" i asked, "just like, 3 years, but i cant imagine my life without him" she smiled, "i cant imagine my life without my dad, or without a lot of the orginal group, like rick, glenn, carl, carol, maggie, michonne, half the people here are my family"

-

i spent the whole night talking with ellie, she was actually really nice and funny, we told eachother a bunch of our crazy/scary stories from over the years, and what it was like for life before it

carl and enid never showed up, i told her a lot about them, more so carl since me and carl have been together since the start, we grew up together and i dont know what i would do if he died

but we had stayed after hours not realizing the party ended, still in carols room, she opened the door with an exhausted look, she didnt notice us, me and ellie side eyed eachother before we bursted out laughing

that seemed to be a reoccurring occurrence between the two of us, we both kept on bursting out laughing at stupid stuff

but at the sight of ellie, carol put on her sweetheart face again, "oh! girls, im sorry i didnt know you were in here" she said, bringing a hand to her chest, "the parties over?" i asked, after calming down from laughter, "yes, it just ended, and joel was looking for you ellie, you better get back home before he starts to worry more" carol said with a smile, "yeah, thanks for the party mrs.." ellie said as we stood up, "just call me carol, oh and you too aimees, daryl was wandering around for you" she smiled with a nod

and with that me and ellie left her house, as soon as we got out of her house i let out a giggle, "its the end of the world and you're still worried about manners?" i thought outloud, thinking back to how she tried to call carol mrs, "hey! you never know, some adults are really strict about that stuff" she defended

"okay, i guess ill see you tomorrow?" i asked, as we made it infront of her house, "yea sound-" ellie was interrupted with joel yelling her name, "ellie! i looked everywhere for you! where were you? i havent seen you since the party started-"

i just smiled at joels protectiveness and slipped myself away and went back to my house

"hey dad" i smiled, seeing him on the couch, "oh good, i was waiting for you to come back so i could sleep" he said getting up, "you seem happy?" he questioned, i hated parties, so this was weird that i was smiling a bunch after one, "yeah! i hung out with ellie the whole time, shes really funny! i really like her" i said with a hudge grin, "told you, you'd like her" he nodded, not supprised

"so was it just the two of you or was carl and enid there? i didnt see them tonight" he asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter, "just us, i have no idea where carl and enid are, which kind of sucks since i wanted ellie to meet them, but also its good because i really enjoyed hanging out with her alone" i said, my voice bright from talking with ellie for hours

"im glad you had fun" he nodded with a smile, "oh! do you wanna know what! now when i hangout with carl and enid, ellie will be there, so i dont have to third wheel, i mean they were always being so gross infront of me like complimenting each other and stuff, like ew, and now me and ellie can be grossed out together!" i said happily, my dad laughed, "im glad we found ellie and joel too, can you please tell me more in the morning over breakfast? im ready for bed"

"yea, of course, goodnight dad, i love you" i said, giving him a quick hug, "love you sweetheart, get to bed too, its way past when you should be asleep" he said, kissing me on my head, "yea.. yea, whatever" i mumbled sarcasticly as he walked to his bedroom

i turned off the lights and went to my bedroom, i unbuttoned my jeans and went to pull them off when i felt something in my pocket, i sighed, forgetting i had it, as i pulled out the bag of joints

this would have been perfect for me and ellie, would of been 10x funner.

but, i wasnt tired, and now that i was holding up the rolled up cannabis, i really, really wanted it.

i thought about carl and enid, enids never been high before, but me and carl have a few times, and i don't even know where they are. maybe i can have just one joint to myself..

another thing i do on nights when im not tired, is go to my roof and look at the stars, usually while i smoke cigarettes but weeds even better.

i looked out my window to see that the sky was clear, i smiled to myself, i walked over and turned off my lamp, okay, only one. i placed the other two joints in the bag in between my folded shirt in my dresser, letting the one joint hang in between my lips

i opened up my window, cringing at the squeeked noise, i stuck my legs out, letting myself fall onto the roof, i climbed to the back of my house still on the roof so i was facing the big fence and not out in the open, the only way people would be able to see me is if someone specifically looked in my direction through ellies window

i pulled out my lighter and lit the weed, sucking the toxins into my lungs before blowing out

i sat there for a couple minutes looking at the stars above me, they always fasanated me, i looked to the moon, it was a full moon tonight, of maybe it was a just a full waning or waxing gibbous, i dont know to be honest

the sound of a window opening drawed my attention, i shot my head to the sound, joint in between my lips, to see ellie climbing out of her window

i watched as she hopped onto her roof, shutting her window, and hopped from her roof to mine, as our houses were really close together, she let out a pant, from being out of breath

"hey" she said as she stood there above me, she had already changed into pajamas, wearing plaid baggy ones that were too long for her, ones that were previously mine, and she wore the grey thick strapped tanktop i had also given her

her hair was down, something ive never seen of ellie, some of her auburn hair was over shoulders while some was on her back, they reached a couple inches unde her shoulders and her eyes glistened in the moonlight

"uh, aimees? you barley smoked any of that, you good?" she asked with a smile on her face, "oh, yea, im-" i started saying, realizing i just stared at her, but i spoke really loud as i talked not realizing how loud i was being, "shh! come on, i dont want joel or your dad to wake up" she whisper shouted

"right, sorry" i whispered back, she came over to me and sat down, "can i?" she asked, reaching her hand out, i passed her the joint, and watched her as she looked up to the sky, while taking a long drag of it, she closed her eyes as she sucked it, enjoying the feeling

my eyes were beading onto her, watching every detail on her face, the way her eyebrows slightly scrunched as she sucked in, or how she squeezed her eyes, how her soft pink lips fitted against the rolling paper. i was so close to her our shoulders were brushing against each other, and i noticed things about her that i havent noticed before, she had beautiful green eyes, ive noticed her eyes being not brown before, but now i could actually see what color they were, and her freckles complimented her face so well, they danced all around her cheeks and the tip of her button nose. i even got to exaime her brown eyebrows, i could see the slit she had through it, her eyebrows were also pretty straight, but they looked so perfect on her. her side profile was honestly the best ive ever seen in my whole life. the way her lips moved out, how her adorable nose arched perfectly and how- wait are her lips moving?

"aimees?" she asked, okay yeah they were, "sorry, what?" i asked, looking into her eyes, "you zoned out on me again" she commented, "sorry its just, you look really pretty" i said, still mesmerizing her in a trance, she turned to me, i could see her cheeks turning a shade of pink, before she looked back infront of us

thats kind of weird, i mean, i was just saying she looked pretty, i say that to enid all the time and she just compliments me back or says thanks, but ellie got flustered for some reason and tried to hide her face with no comments

we passed the weed arond in silence for a moment, "you do this a lot?" she asked, "usually just with cigarettes, but i got lucky and found this on a run a few weeks ago.. i love the stars"

"i love the moon" she remarked, i looked to her with a smile on my face, "if i could anywhere i'd go there" she said, looking at the moon above her, "can i come with?" i asked, she turned to me, our faces inches apart, "yeah but.. be aware, joels coming too, and hes a big grump sometimes" she answered, i laughed at that, giggling as i rested my forehead on her shoulder to contain myself, i hear giggles come from her too

"okay, shh, shh we have to be quiet" i whispered, leaning back up to face her, "youre telling me to be quiet? youre the one who started laughing!" she said with a smile as the joint hung between her fingers, "urhg, give me that" i said, taking the joint from her and puffing a few

"its not my fault, you make me laugh more then like, anyone ive ever met" i said after a couple seconds in silence, "really?" she asked looking back to me, "mhm" i nodded, letting out another giggle at nothing, which caused ellie to giggle with me too, we fell onto eachother laughing up a storm, "oh! oh my god! i cant breath!" ellie said inbetween laughs, "stop!" i cried, gripping her thigh for support, trying to catch my breath

we kept on laughing like that for probably too long, after a few minutes, i ended up even closer then before, our laughter dying down but smiles still held on our faces

"whats your last name?" i asked her out of the blue, which caused us to laugh a little some more, "williams?" she sid in a questioning tone, "w-why did you say it like that? are you sure thats your last name or did you make it up because-"

"no! no! thats real, my last name is williams, i was just- cause you asked so randomly!" she explained, "okay, well, ellie williams, you-" i said, pointing at her and using a tone for the word you, "-are my new favorite person"

"and you- aime-" she stopped for a moment, "whats your last name?" she whispered, "dixon" i whispered back, "you! aime dixon, are my new favorite person" she said, usuing a tone and pointing at me for you like i did, but usuing a tone and pointing at herself for me

this caused us both to laugh again, i guess weed made us a bit giggly, we seemed to be eliciting laughter not matter what

"you know what we should do?" i asked, "hmm?" she hummed, i took a puff a weed, noticing it was almost all gone, "we should get married"

i noticed her cheeks start to turn red, "i mean, how could i not want to marry you! look how cute you are with your blushing" i said with a hudge smile, "i accept, mrs williams" ellie said to me with blush still wearing her face, "aime williams! hm, i like the sound of that!" i laughed

"hey, i have idea" i said, looking down at the blunt, "yea wife?" she asked, "my dear husband, we could finish this joint in one puff, shall i shotgun it to you?" i asked with a smirk, "first of all, wife, im your wife, secondly, i dont know what that is" she deadpanned, i let out a couple giggles from her

"okay, well if im the wife, how can you be the wife? anyways, why dont i just show you what a shotgun is?" i offered, still smirking, "hmm, okay fine" she said with a smile, unsure with what was to come

i smirked devilishly, i blew the rest of the joint into my mouth, before flicking it off the house, i brought my hands to ellies face, moving her face to mine, my eyes were closed but i could tell she was blushing

ellies mouth was slightly ajar in shock, so i blew the smoke into her mouth, the feeling of her warm, soft, silk lips, her nose tickling with mine and the way my stomach was attacking itself with a swarm of butterflies from us touching like this

the weed did something to me, because i couldnt help myself, and without any thoughts, only the feeling of want, i pressed my lips more firm to hers, and moved them onto hers, my lips were dancing on hers and she didnt move.

i lifted my lips up for a split second, releasing the smoke from our mouths, i pulled away, realizing what i had just done, my eyes started to feel with tears looking down at her, my hands still holding her face, only inches away. i was so goddamn embarrassed and mad at myself. why the fuck would i do that? i dont even like girls, im not gay, and i definitely dont like a girl i just met 4 days ago. it had to be the weed because im not a lesbian, and judged by the complete silence between us, and ellies face, she isnt eithe-

my angered thoughts were interrupted as ellie leaned into me, tilted her head as she pressed her blushed face to mine, now our lips danced together, i could smell her breath, it smelt of mint toothpaste and marijuana, but i wanted more of it, i wanted to taste it

as ellies hands gripped my shoulders, and mine gripped her face, i brushed my tongue against her lips, getting a slight taste of her, she didnt open her mouth, so i took my left hand from her cheek and placed it on her waist, rubbing her skin and plulling her closer to me, the sudden contact made her mouth open slightly, and i took that as an opportunity to slip my tongue into hers

not only was the smell of marijuana filling my nose, but the smell of the shampoo i gave her was lingering, i think the scent was lavander, either way, it smelt good, delicious, and i wanted even more

i honestly was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy, so i pulled away for a moment, i sucked in the air to catch my breath, but my mouth was covered again by ellies lips

this time, her tongue filled my mouth, our tongues danced, as i started to fall backwards from her leaning on me, i felt so carried away and a feeling i never felt before filled my body

i pulled away from her, standing up and dragging her up with me, we had our foreheads pressed together, panting, "come on" i whispered, as i looked into her red eyes, i pulled away from our embrace, taking her hand in mind, pulling her to the side of my window, i climbed in first, helping her climb in too

once she got in, i shut the window and shut the blinds, our light pants cramming the room, i turned around to for a pair of hands pressing against my waist and shoving me against the wall, i was met once again with her lips

i couldn't help, from the sudden action, and melting deep into the kiss, and the feeling of her hands rubbing on me, i let out a small moan into her mouth, i hadnt realized it until it already left

my cheeks went red from embarrassment, hoping she didnt hear, but she pulled away, i couldnt bare to look her in her eyes, i stared at the ground, looking down at our socked feet on the carpet

ellies right hand moved off of my waist, i thought she was about to freak out and leave or something, but she placed a hand on my chin, and lifted it so my face was forced to meet hers, i expected her face to be filled with disgust, but she had a smirk on her face, her freckled cheeks bright red

"dont be shy, you have a pretty voice" she whispered, butterflies formed my heat. not my stomach, but below.

i looked at her dumbfounded, i never felt this way before. i didnt know what was going to happen after all this, what me and ellies relationship would be by tomorrow, i didnt know if i was gay- but i did know that i wanted more of her touch, i wanted to feel her touch, not only on me, but in me.

i pulled pulled the back of her neck onto my face to be met with mine, our kiss even more passionate then before, my knees felt so weak, like i could collapse at any moment, so my hands were balled into a fist gripping her tankop. her hands were squeezing my skin, i couldnt help it, i wanted to feel more of her skin

i lifted my left hand from her tanktop, and lowered them to the hem of it, before i stuck my hand underneath, trailing my hand against her skin, i stopped once my hand got to her bra, unsure of how far she wanted this to go, but her hand lifted from my waist and pulled my wrist up and underneath her bra, allowing me to feel her shape and soft skin

instead of ellies hand resting back on my waist, she snaked it under my jeans, and i felt her squeeze my ass, i had to pull away from our kiss as i let out a grunt, it would have probably came out a moan if i didnt keep my mouth squeezed shut and tried to hold it

we made out rubbing eachother for a few moments before ellies hand slid out of my jeans, i was disappointed until i felt her hands yank at the waist of my jeans, they were still unbuttoned so all she did was slid them off of me, i broke our kiss to step out of them

ellies hands went straight to the back of my bare theighs, "jump" she grunted, her voice deep and raspy, i did what she said, i jumped so my legs were wrapped around her waist as she still held me up by my theighs

as we shared a sloppy yet passionate kiss, i felt my back lift from the wall, ellie brough us across the room, and i felt myself get dropped into my bed

i could see ellie from the moon that lit our room, she crawled ontop of me, hovering over me as our hands and lips connected once again to eachother

she trailed her kiss to my jawline, i felt like i was to explode, i tilted my head so she could get more of my neck

i shouldnt be doing this, but i want to, but dads downstairs, hes asleep, but im high, we both are

my own thoughts fought eachother, i tried to bring myself to stop it, but i couldnt.

my fingertips rested on the fabric of ellies tanktop, i pulled her away for a moment, pulling off the grey top over her head, my eyes went straight to her body, and god did i feel faint.

she had a grey calvin klein sports bra on, my mouth was starting to water.

ellies hands went to my tanktop, i lifted my arms so that she could pull them over my head, i was nervous, especially since i didnt have a bra on, but i wanted it too much to stop

ellie and i stared at eachothers bodies for a moment, she leaned back in and connected her lips straight to my sweetspot of my neck, at the same time her hand went and messaged my boob, ellie was doing things to me because i couldn't even hold in my moans anymore

ellie left a trail of bruises down my neck as she went down more, and connected her lips to my nipple, my hand went to the back of her hair, squeezing her roots, right when i did so i could faintly hear ellie moan into my skin- she likes hair pulling, noted

ellie kissed my one breast and messaged my other, as i squirmed under her holding her hair

"ellie.." i whisper-moaned. "yea, babe?" she mumbled through her kisses, i felt hotter from her nickname, "please.." i whispered, i couldnt handle it anymore

ellie brought her hand and rested it between my legs, but it was inches away from my core, i squeezed my thighs together to try to make some sort of friction, but ellie moved her hands and pressed my knees away from eachother, "please what?" she asked in a dominant voicd, she obviously knew what i wanted, but wanted to hear me say it

"please-" i tried to get a full sentance out in one go, but that was near impossible, my fingertips rested on ellies pants, streching the fabric wanting them off, i was completely topless and had my pants off, yet ellie had a bra on and pants

ellie got off of me for a moment, taking her pants off, which i silently thanked her in my head for, "please what?" she asked again, her voice more raspy then before, "touch me" i moaned, she smirked, leaning in and kissing me again, i missed her lips and the taste of them

she rubbed her hand up slowly, her finger brushing against my cunt. without even thinking, my hand shot to ellies hand that was in between my theighs, and pushed it more towards it

as ellie grunted, she moved my underwear to the side, letting her fingers drag along my slit, "this wet for me baby?" she panted, "all for you" i replied, instantly connecting our lips after

ellie teased me, tracing her fingers up and down my wetness, i sunk my hips down more, trying to get more, ellie broke our kiss with a small laugh, she gave my lips another sweet kiss before she pulled away from my face, i looked up at her confused but my confused face was shortly changed to arousal, as she slipped her middle finger partly inside me

she slowly pumped her finger more into me, causing my head to go back on my pillow, ive touch myself before, but nobody had ever touched me, this was a complete new experience for me

as she pumped them in and out, i felt her start to grind her hips onto my theigh, all the fricton, i started to let out more and more moans, my mouth was closed so they werent as loud

i felt her add her ring finger in me, and curling them around my walls, her hips grinding with more pressure,i let my jaw fall, and furred my eyebrows as i moaned, ellies hand went straight to my mouth, covering any noises that escaped.. i realized for a split second that- oh that was really loud and could of easily woke up my dad- but the feeling of her fingers twirling around in me made me instantly forget about it

i couldnt help but start to grind onto her fingers, rocking my hips up and down. ellies hand slowly moved off of my mouth to grip on my hip, letting out a moans with me, her voice was so hot it made me even wetter. she then moved her hand down even more, i thought it couldnt get any better but she started to rub my clit

"mmfpph.. ell- ellie- i-" i screched, i felt my stomach tie into a tight knot, my body froze as i squeezed my eyes, while my hips stopped moving, ellies hands only sped up, and her hips started to move faster, practically jumping up and down on me, "ellie" i whinned, my eyes rolling back as i felt myself release, ellie grinded on me until her hips froze, "hh- hfphmhmm"ellie moaned, also coming to a finish, i watched her as she leaned her head back, mouth ajar, eyebrow's squishing together.

the room was filled with heavy pants- our chests going up and down as if we just had a near death experience

we stared at eachother trying to catch our breaths, ellies hair was clouding all around her face, her hair falling to her shoulders, really messy compared to how it was an hour ago, in which it was neatly brushed

ellie looked so beautiful, but there were two things i realized as i stared at her

1. we are still high as shit

2. ellie williams, a girl i met a few days ago, just fucked me

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

[fushiglow]

Me: 'aw no i shouldnt read a fic set in the music industry, it'll get me sad about abandoning my own dreams; nope nuhuh, apologies, moving on' -> fast forward a few weeks -> i see ur fic pop up every now n then on both ao3 n tmblr, tempting me to read it -> fast forward again, it's tday -> i end up caving in eventually when i see it on my dash again; checked out the first chapter while having lunch earlier. Got H o o k e d by ur narrative. And so i inhaled two more chaptrs a sec ago while commuting back home aaaaand lil old me proceeded to be WILDLY inspired by ch4 shenanigans and immediately i >Needed< to relisten to the Liszt performance, seeing it anew yet again, and then also dug up some soundtracks i made once upon a time when id been fooling around w the idea of expressing myself thru music -> fast forward again, im home now, n getting all giddy ab it, cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.) I just. I feel the raw emotion in your fic and it made my heart pound while reading it. You >get it< jfc. (Also satosugu n others work So Well in ur story, so in character, u make it look so natural, as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen). I only just finished the 4th chapter and im not caught up yet, but i couldnt have waited to tell u my thoughts so. There goes!! ((Also even months later im still deeply wounded by canon so i feel like im irrevocably dysregulated when it comes to engaging w satosugu haha, apologies if i come off strong. U just combined two passions of mine into one fic and im feeling So Fucking Grateful i wanna kiss u on the forehead and bless u for seven generations forward. Again - i havent yet finished what u've already dished out (bless ur soul for posting ur work holyhell) so ima come back when i have more unhinged thoughts as i read. Your writing is so On Point i can't contain myself (my heart is singing w joy because when i connect w the writing style i connect HARD. And lemme tell u, your style is both intense and light and professional and that's my fav combo, ima go n cry over my piano now bye. Until next time, ily sm) (also sorry about this longass ask, it was meant to be a oneliner but it got away from me bc.. Emotions, damn) -royce

Oh... Um...

Excuse me while I fucking cry over MY piano, what the actual fuck 😭 I think this is the biggest compliment I could possibly receive, you have NO FUCKING IDEA how happy it makes me to read that my fic inspired you to sit down at the piano again, holy shit???

cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.)

I am sobbing and kicking my feet all at once at this image, I love you I love you I love you. Please tell me, how did it go?? Did you have fun? Did it feel good? God, I hope it did!!! 😭

I started writing this fic to heal some of my own hurt about leaving a career in music behind, so I'm writing this for people like you and me. You're my ideal reader and you couldn't POSSIBLY come off too strong. PLEASE come back with your unhinged thoughts, I will gladly scream with you about this — in fact, I'm desperate to do exactly that!

Royce, you're everything. Thank you so much for all your lovely words about my writing too, this soothes all of my doubts about deciding to post something so deeply self-indulgent all those months ago. This is for YOU 🫶

as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen

Also, what do you mean? That's what it's about, isn't it? 👀

[gessshoku]

I COULDNT FINISH THE VOID IN TIME BUT ILL STILL TRY TO FINISH I PROMISE 😭😭

BRO ITS FIIINE I HAVENT BEEN PUTTING MUCH ON ARTFIGHT,,, I HAVENT ATTACKED ANYONE,,,, IM SO SAD

[mistninja]

MARIA you finished part 3!!!! so what did you think of this one??? the ending was rough but promise (when/if you want to read it) part 4 is way more chill, i think araki wanted to give the fans a break between heartbreaks akdjdj

Ough this hurt so much! Im glad part 4 is less sad, i think i will get to it after i watch stone ocean (which i have the feeling will also be extremely tragic 😭)

I loved this part, im actually going to miss the crusaders, it feels like i lost real friends :'( i think the trip to egypt was a little too long but at the same time it really worked to make me care about the characters and their bond, plus most of the fights were very entertaining. There are a couple things that i didnt see the point of (like the little girl that followed them around for a while), but nothing that i disliked that much. It was a lot of fun all around! I love how creative the stands were

But that finale omg.... its so sad to see them just go separate ways after all they have been through.... i also couldnt believe avdol had really died i was in denial until araki confirmed his and iggys deaths... the last two volumes really are pain and more pain. I loved jotaros fight with dio tho, it was as epic and badass as i expected it to be, jotaro is such a great main character <3

[sam-nochncs]

Sam! *Falls down the window I just climbed*. I dunno if you're doing the ask the artist game but I'm gonna send you some cus I am nosy and want to know 👀😈

1. 6. 11. 13. 18. 21 AND 25! (that's a lot of questions, my bad)

Love you Sam my beloved! 🫂🫂💋💋

*Helps you get up and dusts your clothes* Be carefull next time my beloved Many!! Dont want you to hurt yourself now tut tut

1- Show your most recent wip

I am so bad at finishing a wip so i have multiple and here they are! ( I also have an animatic wip but like aughhh)

6-Which artists inspire you right now?

My biggest inspiration rn is @toomanywordsnllines !

He is amazing at art and I love their artsyle so much!! Her art style is just so huggable and his painting/rendring has me on a choke hold!! Thay just give me so many ideas that my brain explodes!!

Another one of my all time inspiration is Rensaven! I love their style sooo much!! The simplity has me on a chokehold also THEIR ANIMATIONS!? MY HEART AND LIKE AAAAAAA I WANNA BE LIKE THEM FRFR CRYING!! here is the link to their youtube my fave animation from them is Level of Concern one bc like twenty one pilots and and animation? together? my heart melted fr. I alos love the way they use the colors their pallates are always goes so well together

Newest addition to my inspiration is Alberto Mielgo! Especially his Spiderverse art work is spectacular im gonna cry bc his usage of colors like look at this!!! Overall all the spiderverse is my inspiration frfr

I want to also add Sad-ist their animations and the way they use the camera movements on their animation... im crying by thinking about it! The way they tell the story with the animations are showstopping here is a link to their youtube!

ALSO ALSO

THEIR DRAWINGS ARE SPECTACULAR I LOVE THEIR LINEWEIGTHS AND AND THE COLORS LOOK SO SOFT AND THEIR FOUND FAMILY DRAWINGS (especially five and ben from umbrella academy) HAS MY HEARTT

I wanted to add so many other but itll get tooo long so honorable mentions time! (very honorable mentions to my friends anna and eli as well)

rabbits.foots sogicereal Camram Bipp

Jasperlore Silvipeppers devinellekurtz

achilleanspear Unsatisfiedghost NoriMori

Xela Kurzgesagt liz milkytrickster

natashaallegri mechro dreamy Shiba rusticfurnice

okay i think i should stop here or all make the entire thing about these artists 😭😭

11-Favaorite comment you've ever recived on your work

Uhmmm I dont know i dont really get specific comments bahsjmdmsk i think it was someone commenting on one of my sketchbook pages that they liked how I used one color only with a black pen :')

13-Show your favorite drawing from last year

I couldnt choose one 😭😭 (left to right my friends oc, human mordecai, highschool!au of my sona for discord gc)

18-Do you have any larger projects you'd like to pursue? Like comics, shortfilm, a series ect?

YES! One day i would love to make animation series like a cartoon series? or just some calming and relatable mini animation series like bee and the puppycat! I would also love to work on a idk animation movie maybe? I would really love to work in that industry but im not sure if i can... I'm scared that ill get bored of it but yeah!

21-Weirdest thing you've ever drawn?

Believe it or not nothing came to my mind at first exept for few missing limbs and general angst stuff so i asked one of my beloved friend and this was her answers

1- Twink boy Mater from cars the movie

2- Kirby josh dun the drummer of twenty one pilots

3- Face for tits tits for face oc?

so yeah i gues other then gorey stuff these ones the weird ones....side eyeing myself rn

25-Based on your recent referance searches, what would the FBI assume about you?

I'm definitly on the list for sure. They assume that i would be a threat to sociaty and that ill probably set something on fire. They also think that I am a serial killer that has lots of medical knowladge as well....

Thank you for your questions and im sorry it took me so long to answer it 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

[nebuleeart]

3 4 5 10 12 14 16 18 22 25 26 27 30

Skipped a couple bc i couldnt think of a good answer but ehehe lets GOOOO

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A lot of my current design elements for my anthro ocs actually started when I was in elementary school and designing magical kitty girls to LARP on the playground… like honestly? If you look at Chip and Fray and Hem and then compare them to my childhood characters, not much has really changed, i just got better at art. Also these two OCs (moon and lyrica) are from like 2011 and I still use them to this day 😏

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Despite my best efforts over the past decade (decade…. *sobs*) i STILL to this day struggle to draw sonic characters 😭 its the faces and body proportions… I just cant get it right and make them not look stiff. I’m working on it tho so hopefully in another 10 years or so I’ll finally get it down AJSHHSHAHABAB

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

Its a HUUUUGE difference. Like i’d say out of 100 sketches maybe 10 of them get finished and only 5 of those 10 end up on social media… i am very picky about what art people see.

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

I loooooove thick/heavy fabrics!! Almost all my ocs have something like that on them, i like to make them comfy 😊

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Hair! it just comes to me the easiest compared to all other parts. Close second is eyes

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

I studied cat anatomy when i was young bc i was obsessed with cats so i can specifically draw realistic cats very well but i actually dont like doing it very much… i prefer to draw them more stylized and cute :]

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

Ive had a nervous habit of biting pencils since i was old enough to use one so you can imagine the carnage I’ve inflicted on many an innocent dollar store pencil

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

Nothing before but i do stretch and get up and walk around when im feeling stiff while drawing.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

Not quite a different interpretation but an unexpected response was all the comments on my sonic underground redesign post analyzing the design aspects and a couple pointing out things i didnt even realize I did which was really fun!! I love getting comments like that i still think about it all the time

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

Yes!! I mostly do silly loose doodles of whatever’s on my mind at the time,, dont really think about it I just draw

Recent one i did around the time the new rtfd episode dropped and i thought was funny but never posted

just dumb stuff like that ajsvshhsaj

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

Okay so last year I did this splatoon magazine spread and spent hours on it and it got like 30 notes total but its okay im not sad about it im not sad😊 (lying)

Thank you for the ask maria ily!!!

[havange]

I just finished Dark Phoenix

Loved it! It was a bit rushed but other than that it was great, ESPECIALLY the VFX!

And Jean 😍

Oh yea I forgot to tell you, I think I’ve found the first man that I’m attracted to but couldnt see myself sleeping with…it’s a weird feeling

Logan…handsome, sarcastic, badass, broken…he’s a 10/10 but he’s so bulky and his veins creep me out 😭

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! that was a good ole movie gotta love it. You need to watch LOGAN fo sho!!! I love that movie to BITS AND PEICES it’s kinda sad but it’s also got a lot of action and very gory and the plot is better than some of the previous X-men movies and the CGI HOLY SHIT IS WAS AMAZING like when I tell you ONE OF MY FAVORITES but how did I see that coming🤔 you have a type my friend a very specific type and I love it, great minds think alike I knew you would take a little liking to Logan but he is extra bulky💀💀Also If you can, be sure to watch X-men first class that is my FAVORITE X-men series movie of all time 10/10 would recommend

[riewritten]

I love your Erwin longfic and fics! One of the reasons why the your fic literally broke my year 2022 beautifully. When I was at work, I was always thinking about the current episode or what was going to happen in the next episode. It was a good time. Honestly, I wasn't that interested in Erwin until I came across your fic. I can honestly say that my view on him is neutral. Because I'm a Levi simp haha. I rarely read one-shot fics here and there and as far as I remember, I didn't come across many long serious fics with dynamics. This must be what some fans are talking about when they say there are very few ErwinxOc/Erwinselfship.

And even though years have passed, I rarely go and read your fic. The last time I read it was on quotev and if I remember correctly I noticed some changes between some lines there and Ao3/Tumblr. I wonder if you edited it.

Anyway, without further ado, I'd like to ask a few questions if you don't mind me asking 😭 I hope this doesn't sound like a selfish question, but are there any Erwin fics you plan to write in the future, like a drabble? And are you open to requests? Speaking of drabble, I would love to see a DITB marriage oneshot haha. On another note, I'm an ocxcanon sucker and I want to say that I'm intrigued by your Oc. Does her have a name. And information about her 😳

Anyway, take care of yourself muahh ♥️❤️🩷

first of all,

please let me know who u are so i could send hugs and kisses your way :( ♡ i dont think i could ever get over with the fact that people reread my craft. like GOD!!! do i even deserve such a praise!!!

and what a coincidence bc i also was neutral with erwin until DIB happened!! i decided to make him my muse when a friend told me she hates erwin for being a 'war criminal'. while i already symphatize with his tragic story, i wasn't knowledgeable enough to counter my friend's claims. writing DIB was also a slow but fun journey for me to transform my sympathy for erwin towards sheer empathy, all the while appreciating how well-written he is as a character ;')

i see ure a quotev reader as well! posting the story in another platform was actually my attempt to inspire myself into editing the whole thing. u see, the first versions of DIB was SO poorly written grammar wise ;( but despite the motive, i only managed to edit until chapter 17!!!! idk maybe i loathed the chapter 18 so much i couldnt get myself to reread it anymore

and oh, dont worry abt the questions! i literally squealed when u said you wanted to know more about my OC 🤩

are there any Erwin fics you plan to write in the future, like a drabble? And are you open to requests?

this might be a sad revelation, but ;( i only plan to finish all my WIPs and then i'll bid farewell to this acc at last. i'll archive it tho so readers could go back to it whenever they want. finishing the WIPs in question could take long so im not very sad abt it yet lmao. that said, my request box is closed for good.

Does [DIB OC] have a name. And information about her 😳

oh man. OH MAN. the info dump im yet to tell you 😔 hMDKSDJ i haven't really thought of anything aside the face (which i posted here) but if u want!!! i could draw it for you!!! <3

[neo-shitty]

hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all

facts. he can do no wrong.

second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.

but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.

but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.

and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.

also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)

yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.

sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out

bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.

sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.

same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.

oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.

I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.

yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/

'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.

ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.

this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.

please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.

[berryunho]

The early army days were SO bad oml not only those horrible sweatshirts but also the memes… UGH think I just gagged 💀 anytime someone mentions “y0u g°t n• j@ms” or pink Princess Jin or whatever tf it makes me want to revert into my goo goo ga ga era 😭😐

I wouldn’t donate my sweatshirt tho cause even though I no longer stan them, I don’t want someone to see that I’ve ever had that sweatshirt in my possession LIKE ID RATHER DIE

But ohHhhHh starting a longer series like breaking bad is a good idea to pass time! I hear abt breaking bad all the time but I’m not really into the dr*gs or those kinds of crime genres but let us know if you like it and then maybe I’ll give it a try!

I prefer watching anime so if you want any longer anime recs then I’d fs recommend Gintama! (No pressure tho cause it do be a 200+ episode series 💀)

I hope you have a great start of your week tmrw! You still have 2 weeks and a half of quarantine iirc but after this you’ll be able to see your coworkers and hopefully fulfill that overtime request before classes start up again 🤧 or did they start already for you? :0 if not then yay but if so then I wish you all the best with your studies 😭💖

- Love, 🍓 anon

OH ALSO IF I DO END UP REWRITING THE FIX THEN YOULL HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT YOURSELF OR ELSE IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF 🍓 ANON DKDKDMKD might give you a hint hint nudge nudge tho when I do tho 🤭🤭 also! If you have any ideas of what you’d like to see from it then lmk lolol :P - 🍓 anon

NOT THE EARLY ARMY MEMES..... a shudder went down my spine reading that first paragraph.... dark dark times lol but pls exactly you cant donate it bc it would then be known that you owned it ... horrifying LKSJDLFKJSF

yes i felt like i needed to fill my boredom with something and i was trying to watch some kdramas but like... i couldnt find any that seemed interesting enough to devote hours of my life to LOL i am very much a historical romance kdrama enjoyer (i accredit this to again. early kpop stan days. when i watched moon lovers as it aired for baekhyun. and TO THIS DAY it is my favorite drama and i sincerely believe it to be the best one ive ever seen) and anyways it feels like a good historical drama hasnt come out in forever </3

ive never been much of an anime watcher (besides death note. bc death note is like. one of the best stories ever told in human history. and i stand by that) BUT i looked at the plot summary and gintama does sound interesting so maybe i will check it out!!

hehe thank you but yes i still have 2 weeks of quarantine ... but alas my classes start basically right after i finish quarantine so i wont be going back to work :') but ill definitely stop in to visit before i move to campus bc id be sad leaving without saying goodbye !

hehe i do suppose that that would definitely defeat being anonymous ... but hhehehe if you told me when you were gonna start uploading i could prooooobably find it .... no pressure though of course hehe i wouldnt look if it would make you uncomfortable ! hmmm im always a fan of a love triangle and/or very dramatic confessions of love but you know. you do you ! hehehe

but yeah! thank you for the well wishes as always and uh..... i hope you enjoy the update that ill be posting like. 5 seconds after i post this. KLDFJ:SLKFJD:KSLJF ily <3