#im sorry for any typos im tired

[cashmere-caveman]

hello everyone :) inspired by this post by @burrowingregg, please enjoy my thoughts on "what if crozier fucking dies and little becomes captain"

if he dies before sir john

one of two outcomes. sir john either doubles down ("we have to find the nwp for francis!"/"well now that the haters are gone its time to have Real Men Solve This Like Champs") or he goes hm. maybe this is a sign and actually this is a dire situation. perhaps we should pack it in men

i dont rlly have any thoughts on this except i am rlly curious what this would do to fitzy. does he ramp up the charming pretender routine now that he's the uncontested no1 son and crozier cleary didnt know what he was talking about or would this be an early wakeup call and jumpstart the fury beach convo w blanky?

if he dies pre ep4 (tuunbaq)

the lashing would not turn out this way bc little wouldnt have hickey punished as a boy -> less men would berth on erebus

mutiny later maybe? definitely different

(is this a good moment to squeeze in some solittle bc they have to cooperate to keep all the men in check.)

definitely better communication within terror command bc the lieutenants will know little is going to hear them out i think and since little sucks at asserting authority hed have to rely on them more than crozier did

weird tension between jopson and little i think. is it sexual. is it antagonistic. actually maybe i could see jopson joining a mutiny in a crozier dead scenario hmmm…. heres how hickeyjopson can still win !!1!!!!!

if he doesnt survive the withdrawal

jopson.exe stopped working

maybe i could see jopson joining a mutiny in a crozier dead scenario hmmm…. heres how hickeyjopson can still win !!1!!!!! (1).docx

joplittle coworkers to enemies speedrun. i think jopson would grieve so fucking much but then go Ah! We compartmentalise this emotion! Nothing easier than that :) and then hed be so fucking passive agressive as the new captains steward without even realising bc WHY does little walk around alive and hale when little was the one who got crozier the alcohol that killed him how is that fair (jopson is Not at a point where he is willing to confront the fact that he himself was just as much an enabler as little, if not more so)

also sidenote but he wouldnt shave little since that actually never was in a stewards job description in the first place lol no homoerotic blade to throat interaction for you, sir!!

i do think little and fitzjames would work well together! they did a good job on coordinating the carnivale and fitzjames is not someone who lashes out a lot, which is good bc little does not deal well w getting screamed at

i think blanky would become elemental. w crozier dead and (assuming carnivale still happens) mcdonald gone hes the last brit who speaks inuktitut fluent enough to communicate w silna Plus hes one of the v few remaining high ranking arctic veterans

(what would change in a scenario like this if my good friend and upcoming romance novel love interest graham gore - who was an arctic veteran and even competent and charismatic - was still around? food for thought)

what would hickey do? the object of his obsession is out of the picture so he cant get revenge for getting whipped, he still wants to go to his tropical vacation and i think w crozier dead he would switch to survival mode 3000 (he is always already in survival mode to begin with, but i mean the point at which he switches from playing defense to offense) sooner. if the captains dead theyre fucked for real whats holding him back? hickey voice in fact what is holding anyone back? men, we need to confront the situation!

i really think this might be where thomas "shouldve been a news reporter" jopson would shine. that nosy bitch knows about Everything going on, and in a situation like this where every information must be handled in a v tactical way so as to Manage The Situation i think there would be a great deal of avenues of action open to someone in a position like his. especially, i think, bc to me a great deal, if not to say the entirety of jopsons optimism and endurance and focus is simply build on this vast foundation of trust he has in crozier and w crozier gone, what happens to all of that? there are a few ways this could play out imo

a) he instead reorients himself toward the next Authority Figure, which in this case would probably be Fitzjames. I do think it is unlikely, simply bc due to crozier dying during withdrawal the fences would not yet have mended entirely and jopson Will Hold A Grudge. it wont be little, for previously mentioned reasons, even though i dont think jopson would be able to realise that himself. he does not have a lot of interactions w the other lieutenants up until then (not counting serving dinner etc) and since iirc they had not been called into the Sobriety Meeting i dont quite know about how much he would trust them. so unless sth drastically changes during the walkout the options would be fitzjames or little and i personally vote no on both

b) he would retreat into himself and simply Wait. wait for what? u ask. well :) he would wait. and then, maybe one day he might even React. but for now, he would Wait, and Pay Attention

c) i realize this is quite a shrewder reading of jopson than what dave k has said of how he sees him but as i said earlier to me a lot of jopsons "goodness" hinges on crozier providing him w the trust he needs to unfold these qualities. and w that gone, i think that leaves him as someone v smart, in a position where he has access to a lot of information, and also in a state of absolutely crushed hopes and reopened trauma. and that certainly does put you in a state of mind doesnt it?? atp his trust in the remaining leadership might be v fragile and he would certainly wonder how any of this would go on. so hed either implode and fucking idk. wither. (which, for the record, i think he would Not do) Or! he would decide that alright. no one left to handle this but himself so time to take matters into his own hands! youve shot smaller hawks than this tommy its time to get out of here! which, again, is where i think a possible hickey alliance, maybe via billy, might take place. if jopson and hickey would team up for a mutiny they would definitely constantly be daydreaming of killing each other <3 not to be me but i would read the fuck out of a hickeyjopson mutiny vs a solittefitz alliance. give me intrigue! give me bastardry! give me some fucking losers dishing it out in the canadian arctic over the worlds worst buffet options!

this is not necessarily a full point on its own but more of an addendum: i genuinely think jopson has it in him to pull a dundy. aka i think he v much does strike me as someone who would stage a quiet not so much mutiny but a quiet usurpation of power through simple calculated ruthlessness. which! speaking of usurpation!

option d) jopson decides that hes the only competent bitch left and the only way to ensure everyones survival is to go full grima wormtongue and become the puppet master advisor to littles captain. little would actually let this happen and might even welcome it. we know this guy is genetically engineered to follow orders. dont say i never did anything for joplittle enjoyers!!!

crozier dies during the walkout at any point:

i dont really have anything big for this. it would be bad but depending on what has happened at that point (how scurvy ridden is fitzjames? is jopson a lieutenant yet? has hickey killed irving already?) it might not change too much tbh

if he gets shot during morfins suicide it would be disastrous i think but it might actually make the men come closer together again maybe? if little becomes captain then and there maybe the mutiny might get prevented or at least postponed bc little would let the marines get their armed patrol and thus they might not be as resentful/mistrusting toward command. ofc little As A Captain trusting tozer and getting fucking bamboozled by him if the mutiny still happened would be an even worse look lmfao. that is if morfin shot him. if it was however a Marine who shot crozier…… well. i think thered be an execution first thing at daybreak! and any and all weapons would be under lock and key w extra attention to the point that i think not even armitage would hand them out. plus lbr it wouldve been tozer in this scenario w the killing shot so! armitage without tozer…. does that poor lad even know how to exist when he is not in sols orbit. how would hickey exploit this….. (also extremely evil version is jopson shooting crozier which is so evil that we do not consider it. goodbye)

if crozier dies pre tuunbaq attack id be curious if the (attempted) hanging would still happen. i personally think it would, simply bc hickey would definitely try to start some shit and fitzjames would be wary enough to order a post mortem on irving plus jopson would definitely catch that rat. maybe he would actually hang, even, but that depends on whether little as his captain or fitzjames as the overall expedition commander would give the little speech beforehand. if it's fitzy, either him or hickey in his response would run out of time before the tuunbaq shows up and hickey would escape, but if it's little theres a real chance he would shortly state some dry facts let hickey speak for two sentences of last words maximum and then get it over with. and now That would be a fascinating scenario to explore. crozier gone, hickey gone, camp in ruins, dozens of men dead, fitzscurvy left in charge. would there be a second mutiny? des voeux, perhaps? or billy himself (he was also an architect of this!!! he went to burn the fucking maps!!! billy was not regular rat who marrydivorcemarried the evil rat he was evil rat no2!!! simply a less flashy (fleshy….. hah) flavour!!!) just quietly absconding w a bunch of men into the fog? what would tozer do, if he had survived and hickey hadn't?

last minute death scenarios

anything w crozier dead before hickey could capture him would not change much i think. maybe hickey would deflate some upon the news but hed still capture goodsir and still die as a wannabe new god. i think the real tragedy would be if little was left as the only captain after fitzjames' death. that man was Not made to carry such a burden and dundy would smell the blood in the water and ursurp him early i think, which ironically might lead to a scenario where there could be a sliver of hope for survival for the healthier parts of the crew

if crozier died during the capture bc hartnell didnt take the bullet hickey would fucking kill whoever fired that shot (i do not remember who it was. golding? was it golding? i fucking hate that guy i can easily belive it was golding) and i think hartnell and little and whoever else was there would either escalate the situation into a shootout to avoid the mutineers taking croziers body for food (lbr hickey would love to eat that old man) and die right then right there or maybe get themselves captured bc everything is just pointless now (unlikely outcome imo the tension would be too high) OR theyd somehow get the fuck out of there, organize a party of men to take the mutineers and have a final showdown (unless dundy intervened and ursurped ofc) which means: tuunbaq survives!!! yay :D good ending for silna :) she has not lost the tuunbaq so maybe even no exile <33

if crozier just died during the final tuunbaq fight: no changes at all

which concludes my thoughts! this turned out way longer than i expected and honestly did not focus on little v much but it was super interesting to consider all these scenarios so thank u burrowingregg for giving me the idea to begin with :) i would also be super curious to hear everyone elses thoughts on this so please do chime in!!

[alicenpai]

i'm going to montreal - here's my otakuthon 2023 catalogue!! ❤💙💛🥀

i'm tabling with castella & we're at table O575, come by and say hello! :3 so pumped to visit montreal again hehe! 🌟 due to travel weight restrictions i have to leave some stock at home... im not sure if anything will sell out, so come early!! :3 there is also a possible shipping mishap rn, and some sticker stock may not be available for this con.. just as a heads up 🧍‍♂️

[seongminiz]

HOW AM I JUST NOW SEEING SUB X SUB DRYHUMPING WITH SEONGMIN 😣😣 thinking abt him layin under u and letting u grind against him 😣 gets so embarrassed n blushes so pretty when he cums in his pants with a whine 🤲

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

atp i have to start all my answers to ur asks screaming bc YES HE EIHEJDVDJEEHENFH

Sorry im normal im so normal

hes just ,,, hes embarrassed n lets out a lot of high pitched whines n he tries so so so hard to not cum too early but hes just a sensitive baby he cant help it when all the stimulation is getting to him like that ,, he feels so pathetic to the point tears well up in his eyes n hes so engrossed in the feeling he doesn't even realize u r in the same situation </3 he tries to warn u abt how hes going to cum but it just comes out in a string of incoherent words - not that u would listen to him or understand any of what hes saying anyways bc ur so fucked out u can barely acknowledge his presence anymore - failing to push u off of him , so when he does cum after all those efforts not to hes even more of a mess . and if u keep going bc u haven't cum yet ?? thats even worse for him /pos he becomes so much more sensitive he might just cum again in the span of a few minutes ☆_☆

[kijosakka]

Assistant Noah AU: How would Alejandro react to Assistant Noah mocking him for losing both the 'Egyptian River Race' + the 'German Slap Dance', because the Charmer decided to be a gentleman/simp for Heather? 😏

as established in the one going deeper into alejandro/noahs respective attitudes about egypt, there are a few key differences between then and germany:

first being that — this, what alejandro does in germany, is a move first and foremost for heather. deeper reasons are debatable but it all boils down to being for heather. < meaning, noah has not been established to alejandro as a kind of confidant who knows what he’s about, but it has been long enough for noah to see alejandros evidently clear dislike of owen.

^ previously, in egypt, noahs teasing or taunting of his behavior was something more lighthearted and holding neutral-positive connotation — however, from then to now (being notably: japan, NYC, and now the first half of germany), it’s fair to assume that noahs opinion would sour considerably.

this isn’t helped by the fact that his needling and dig for more information about alejandro personally won’t come until around-post london, when the eel comment is made — his perception of alejandro boils down to ‘antagonist hiding behind good intention who’s a real dick to my friend’

and on alejandro’s end, depending on how many interactions they’ve had between egypt, his opinion of noah would remain mostly unchanged; this would effectively be the inciting incident. added onto with that i doubt alejandro would have eyes on noah before the eel comment, simply because he’s got better and bigger threats to take care of.

so say germany comes around, alejandro dives and noah goes out of his way to taunt him again about it — however unlike in egypt, there’s no friendly quality to it, and i’d wager to say alejandro would definitely notice the wild pivot from ‘lighthearted ribbing’ to ‘acidic barbs and nearly-malicious taunting'

at this point in time it's mostly just character conflict, alejandro wondering why that changed, if it did change or if noah was just off then, how/if it would affect the game, etc etc. there's 5 'spaces' of time between germany and london (presumably when the eel comment takes place even in this continuity), meaning a good chunk of potential interactions to be had between the two.

because it would alter their dynamic at least to some degree — this person who you've only ever had a generally positive interaction with is suddenly harsh and mean and there's no real space to talk it out? especially with someone as prideful as alejandro, that's not going to fester well at all.

[inthecrevicesofmycrispytoes]

Käärijä exits the concert hall.

Jere enters the backstage hallway, alone.

At least, for a split second. Then Alika nearly runs him over with the gentlest hug he has ever received and everything is alright for a second. The sad words still spill out of his mouth, as a broken heart tends to do, but then Bojan appears and dances around in his bright green bolero, singing his crazy little party song and a laugh bursts free. Words come difficult, but he manages an I love you to Alika, and a you always get me some surprise to Bojan, which isn't quite what he meant but it'll have to do.

They’re all standing there, shaken and in various states of emotions that wrench themselves free in the wake of such a stressful event that makes Jere wonder for a second if the whole ordeal was worth it, after all. But they’re laughing, Alika – his Estonian baby sister, who is much too young to be participating in such a politically charged contest that shows the cruel nature of the international music industry so well, it makes his tender little heart squeeze – and Bojan, who is very good at pretending that it’s alright but who Jere knows will probably cry his load bearing, big heart out once the stupid cameras are gone.

They’re all so young, and Jere, who is supposed to have it figured out by now, is the biggest wreck of them all.

They’re laughing and crying, some of them, the others too who are standing around them and participating in their little pity party.

But in the swell of emotion, a cord strikes true. He wants to see them again, at the very least to assure them that it had meant something. The entire week has been a flurry of stress and joy and shenanigans but at this freefall of an ending, he finally lands, at the conclusion he thought he’d only make once he walks into the airport hall in Helsinki:

Home. He may not speak English very well, but that isn’t the only international language there is.

Jere may be an artist, supposed master of words, but he possibly couldn’t have any right now, for this little family of their own.

[frootbyethefoot]

no one escapes death

[ID: a digital drawing of ryoji mochizuki standing in front of tartarus on a full moon. tartarus is towering over the background, and is much taller than the multiple tall buildings in the distance. there is a yellow, full moon and multiple tealish green clouds covering it. ryoji is far away from tartarus and standing in front of it. his face is not visible, and you can see his scarf blowing in the wind. the entire drawing is bathed in a teal light.]

[lazaruspiss]

I think the ship of mine most likely to actually work would be poly robins, as in dick/jason/steph/tim and dami after he grows up some. In universe, most people would side eye it, and even the robins would think it's weird at first. But it works. Eventually, even their worst fights roll over like a gentle stream, and loving would come as easy as breathing. There's a bond there, stronger than blood. An oath unspoken, it doesn't need to be put to words. A group of people whose dedication can only be matched by the others.

[nat-amations]

its fucking 2 am in my time agh but I didn’t want to be too late

Eddsworld helped me discover my love for drawing. It’s what helped me discover my dream of becoming an animator. Edd Gould animated eddsworld (basically) by himself. Not in a big studio, in his house, on a computer. If I had never found Eddsworld or it had never been created I don’t know if I would have the passion for drawing that I do now. I discovered Eddsworld in 2021 (I’m sorry I’m such a newbie lol) and when I found out that edd Gould passed away I was devastated. I would never meet the man who created one of the best pieces of media on the internet (in my opinion). The man who taught me that you don’t need to be this fancy person in a fancy studio. Happy Birthday to him. One of the biggest inspirations in my life, and the man who has created some of the best content on YouTube (in my opinion)

Happy Birthday Edd 💚💚💚

[hipster--kitten]

Okay so. I've been wanting to stretch my ears to 4g/5mm for years, and I finally did it a few months ago!! I couldn't stretch from 6g-4g because the side difference for me was too big to safely do, but I had recently learnt (somehow I didn't know years ago) people sell in-between sizes like 5g!

However

Now that I've been at 4g for a bit, I'm constantly looking at my ears and thinking "you'know I like this, but I really wanna go one or two sizes bigger", except the problem is that the reason 4g was originally my goal size was because It's generally regarded as the biggest you can stretch before you get to the point of no return, and I honestly don't think I wanna have stretched ears my whole like (assuming I live until I'm old)

But aaaaaaaa I really really want to but I can't commit to it and I'm scared that if I did it, it could end up in my depressingly long list of my regrets. Likely a bit because of this limitation though I'm feeling even more desire to get more piercings, rn strongly tempted to get second lobe piercings and a helix piercing.

Help. (and/or convince me to finally get those new piercings)

[timidloner]

how would joren react to an mc who's constantly rejecting him and doesn't seem close to changing their mind?

He has all the time in the world, and (in his mind) he's playing the long game, so it really depends. Let me explain.

If MC rejects his feelings in a cordial, cold, or scared way, then he'll be satisfied with just staying at MC's side even if they never show him any affection, since he believes they'll change his mind at some point. But, eventually, he won't accept MC having pets, friends, family (you'll see), or crushes. He'll even get jealous if they show any kind of warmth toward a stranger.

That's why I said MC can either be a hermit (miserable together) or risk getting someone killed. The more time passes, the more unhinged he'll get. At some point, MC won't even be able to talk with people or he'll get upset.

Now, if MC straight-up screams that they hate him and that they'll never love him, or if they try to kill him, then he goes straight to his more unhinged version. MC cannot talk or even breathe around other people if they want to avoid blood.

I said he wouldn't want to keep MC in a cage or kidnap them. But there's no need for that if there's only he and MC in the town. That's how he goes around his "morals" against stealing MC from their freedom. An empty village is like a natural cage, and there's no need to even touch MC.

There's ONE thing that would kill all his hopes and dreams, though. And it's related to the horrorporn endings. If MC tries to -----, then he'll get so angry/sad that whatever morals he had left will melt away.

These endings are special and you'll know when you're on one of them because you'll get a warning with all the stuff you're about to see (so you can continue or go back, no surprises). I will go crazy in them, and I'll add things that won't appear in the rest of the game, like mutilation, rape, hard body horror, demonic (as in Moon's magic) binding, or the gruesome death of MC and Joren.

[autisticlee]

I wasn't diagnosed with hEDS, despite very much suspecting it before that. my doctor used that testing method (I always forget the name of) that looks at like 5 joints only and judges based on that. some of those happened to be joints I don't have as much issue with (for example, my elbows and knees don't bend past the degree required and my back is way too stiff to touch the ground without a lot of stretching first) but I was told I have general, basically harmless joint hypermobility and there's no treatment to help me or anything. I'm basically fine I guess?

I was told by a few people on twitter that the test is outdated and the issues I mention having sounds a lot like hEDS and I need a second opnion (but can't get one because that's the only doctor in my hospital/insurance system) so all I have to go by is what people online have told me from a guess and what a doctor told me. so I really don't know what the truth it. but I feel obligated to go off of what the doctor said and say "I'm fine" because I was also told by twitter people that this "isnt something to wish for/it's a very serious condition/you can't just self diagnosed this/etc" so I can only assume I just have a few joints that bend more than they should but it's fine.

(this is longer than i expected so i'll cut it)

my joints are always popping and cracking and feeling very loose and floppy. I don't get big dislocations requiring hospital visits that I am told are a required symptoms of hEDS. )I can dislocated my jaw on demand though and have to use my hands to put it back lmao and other joints get stuck and feel like they're trying to dislocate and stuff like that? i've had toes and fingers dislocated and my parents just yank on them until they pop back in. my hips are some of the worst joints i think. of course those aren't tested in the EDS test. i'll be walking and suddenly my hip feels like it pops out of place or gets stuck. if i'm standing and shift my hips, I can feel it pop really dramatically. always a dull pain, sometimes sharp pain that makes it very hard to walk untol it goes away. but I try to ignore it.

I feel like I have high pain tolerance (not sure if due to being autistic and having weird sensory issues, or from basically being trained my while life to ignore my pain because my parents couldn't afford to take me to doctors, being told to suck it up i'm being dramatic, getting ignored or told others "have it worse," etc.) so i've just been accepting the joint pain I get, especially from my very physically demanding job, and don't do much about it. I'm pretty sure most, if not all my sleep problems are due to chronic pain and discomfort. everyone tries to tell me it's all in .y head and I can't sleep because my mind is "too active" and i'm just "thinking too much" so i've been suggested so many things to treat anxiety. thkae don't work and meds made it WAY worse. i'm the definition of "head empty" when i'm trying to sleep. I don't think that's it lmao. if it's anything in my head, it's the vivid dreams I have. but do dreams make you feel like you got physically hit by a truck? maybe mentally, yeah.

my mom, who I work with, has chronic pain and back and other problems. so since she "just deals with it" she applies that to me and says "mine is worse/I deal with it every day and it mever stops/I can't help you/you have nothing to complain about/etc" and not just her, my whole family seems to have chronic pain and stuff. it's like it's genetic, idk. so i'm expected to work through it and ignore it. she doesn't use any mobility aids despite probably needing to, so it was never suggested to me. i've had pain and issues most my life but was always told i'm "too young to have any pain. wait until you're 25/30/35" (the number changes as I get older for some reason...) "you arent allowed to complain/experience pain now, you're too young. exercise more. you sit at your computer too much. etc" so i've just tried to ignore it and deal with it because i'm overreacting and it's not bad, right? others have it worse.

I visited some friends this past week. One friend is disabled and uses a cane/wheelchair to aid her mobility due to severe chronic pain. I brought my hip brace with me, which helps hold my hip in the joint a little and helps stop it popping out as I walk (there's still pain though, but it stops my joint from popping out sideways when i move it, if that makes sense?) my friend noticed me struggling and despite me telling her i'm fine and this or normal, she demanded I don't just "deal with it" like everyone else. she made sure I had my brace on, shared her pain meds, and made me borrow her cane while she used her wheelchair.

we went to an anime convention and met up with one of my friend's friends for a little bit. she also uses a cane when walking around a lot. she noticed my hip issues and my skin having a bad reaction to the double sided tape I was using for cosplays and asked if I had EDS because I showed signs like people she knows who have it. that kind of further makes me wonder if maybe my doctor misdiagnosed because of the bad outdated test? perhaps it's not and i'm overthinking it. i'm just thinking that if that's what it it actually is, it would be nice to know so I know how to help myself? like maybe there's more treatments than just ignoring standard hypermobility? and what if there's other related issues i'd have to watch for amd not know about?

but anyway, borrowing my friends cane, with and even without my hip brace (sometimes with wrist brace too if i remembered because wrist pain particularly due to an old, severe injury as a kid), doing a ton of walking all week, I noticed I never got sharp hip and knee pains that I get normally that almost down me every day at work or when going for a walk. I always try to ignore them and push through and continue what I'm doing. I assume that's fine and even get annoyed at myself for being so overreacting to it????? i'm suppsed to have high pain tolerance, right? i'm making a big deal out of nothing probably!!!!

but using it that whole week and finding that it helped makes me wonder if I should get my own???? not that I really go anywhere and I can't use it at work because I have to use my hands the whole time. (or is that attention seeking behavior? I know using one draws negative attention because people are assholes about that stuff. but it's still attention. am I secretly wanting attention???) I also wonder if i'm experiencing more issues than I think. like have I gotten so used to ignoring things that it's actually worse than I think? am I a walking imposter syndrome? i've heard you can dull your own sense of pain by ignoring it long enough and being autistic with sensory issues can also cause a reduced sense of pain. it seemed like being around other disabled people and people who actually paid attention to me meant people noticed me struggling more than I notice, if that makes sense?? but I don't know i'd I am truly struggling or i'm unconsciously making it up????

when I was on my way home walking through the airport, I thought I was doing fine. yeah, I was going slower than everyone else and leaning on my rolling carryon luggage, but i'm sure I was fine......I must have looked like I was struggling. a man driving one of those little transport vehicles through the hall stopped and asked if I was ok. I said i'm fine and he insisted I get on and he take me down the rest of the very long hall. he got to the end where it splits and I needed the opposite way he was headed so he called for someone with a wheelchair to scoop me up and take me to my gate and wouldn't accept a no.

I thought i'd be fine shuffling the hour long layover I had to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, but turns out I made it a minute after boarding time started even with other people running me through on wheels double the speed or more i was going myself. I may have missed my flight if I kept shuffling on my own.....

even though it was a lot of help, I still felt bad, like I was taking up resources from people who really needed it. I never considered myself physically disabled despite my weird joint issues, weakness, chronic pain, lack of balance and coordination, etc. it was a lot of help, and like I said, I may have missed my plane without it, but I still felt really bad and still do, like a fraud, like I was wasting something others needed more. I just feel like my struggles aren't enough to warrant any thpe of disability aid, if they can even be considered struggles at all. I felt like i'm an able person being fake and taking something that doesn't belong to me, wasting resources that aren't meant for me, despite it not being me who chose it or asked for it. I tried to refuse, but it was given to me by someone who seems to have felt I needed it????? should I have rejected it more and tried to be more insistent on being fine? (though i'm not sure i'd be capable of that since I was overwhelmed and my autistic brain can barely handle airports....so talking at all was kind of out of the question)

i really feel like I don't need or deserve help like that! I need to deal with it on my own and ignore it, right? others have it worse! it's not that bad. I can deal with it on my own. maybe i'm being dramatic about any pain and stuff i'm experiencing and need to suck it up and stop complaining. It's not bad enough to even mention it! maybe i'm unconsciously trying to get attention or something like that. unconsciously looked like I was struggling for some kind of attention or something (despite trying to always shrink and hide myself in public to be left alone, especially when sensory overwhelmed). I hope I didn't impede anyone who needed and deserved help more than me 🥺😔

[reasoncourt]

to say freud is dumb you should back it up or not say it

you can like freud if you want 😭😭😭 idm. It’s not that deep. if you're worried that my opinion is that freud is dumb bc his theories are outdated, that's not it. and i do think that's a boring criticism of anyone. he's been influential, sure. i just find him uninteresting and lots of people uncritically accept his stuff bc they find his ideas intuitively appealing yet they don't actually think deeper about those ideas/why something might seem intuitively appealing to them. if you do think deeper about it... there's a lot of substantial criticisms to be made against him. 

Also his name pops up in a LOT of objectively bad philosophy. Like he gets invoked a lot to support theories that are stupid as hell but, because his name recognition lends a certain degree of authoritativeness, these theories suddenly sound more meaningful than they are.  And people treat them as if they have more weight than they do. i'll grant he's not unique in that regard. he's just uniquely annoying to me personally in that regard. especially because a lot of people don't think about the philosophy (of mind and/or of science) behind anything they're saying or he’s saying. 

and i just find him more inane than most,,,, personally. and he's amusing to make fun of,,, for me,,,, personally. i promise i do not care that deeply i just like saying words recreationally, kind of like- *gets taken out back and shot* 

[scary-lasagna]

You said Jeff's a dirty talker? I would like to request a drabble based around that, if you don't mind. -Unus anon

oh god it's been a while since i drabbled smut. Keep in mind this is Yan!Jeff, regular Jeff is definitely not this good at dirty talking. nor am i so bare me

tw: knife play, blood play, degradation, a few slaps

Yan!Jeff [Look at me, Sweetface] [NSFW]

'Such a dirty little whore,' You recalled him saying moments before he approached the bed. His words still echoed in your mind, and embarrassingly enough, you liked it. And boy did he know it.

"Are you squirming in fear, or are you just excited by my mere presence?" The killer cooed, allowing the bite of his blade to mercilessly drag across your skin. Sighing through a hungry growl, Jeff attacked your skin with thirsty kisses, lapping up the crimson ribbons with a dangerous eagerness. "I really can't tell." He giggled more to himself than to your squirming whimpers.

Jeff dragged his tongue along the open slit above your nipple, "Oh, you taste so sweet, my little cumslut. How many orgasms do you think you'll have tonight? Five? Six? Maybe we can even shoot for ten, whaddya say?"

You hissed at the sting of his tongue cruising your open, bleeding wound and gripped your pillow to distract a moan from arising.

"I'll take that as a yes.~" Jeff suckled on your skin, no doubt attempting to bruise you up with blooms of blue and grey with attentive kisses.

How did you even get into this situation? You locked the door after coming home from work and, like a fool, you thought Jeff couldn't find a way past the window lock.

Wrong.

He's a trained killer, of course he'll find a way past the shitty, now half broken lock.

And he entered right before you reached your climax while masturbating.

The same man that destroyed your life over and over always had you screaming in bliss by the end of the night. You loved the feeling he gave you, the pleasure that no other person could even dream of giving you.

"Holy Hell, I cannot wait to feel what it's like inside your needy hole.

He obsessed over your body, your cute moans and whimpers as he squeezed and tongued your flesh, the way your spine jerked if he thrust just right, your memorizing ruby river that complimented your skin so beautifully that he just had to suck it out like a bloodthirsty vampire. Maybe that's why you loved this crazy fucker so much. He loved you to death and back.

You were already naked, and Jeff couldn't help the disappointment of the lack of joy he felt when slicing your clothes off. He supposes there's always next time to indulge in his own fantasies.

"That blood of yours is so sweet, like red licorice." His gravelly voice purred along your chest as he traveled down your bare body. His knife delicately crossed your nipple, you couldn't help the involuntary goosebumps that riddled your legs from the sheer cold and sharpness of the blade.

You often wondered how you were still alive after all of this time, especially as you watched him dangle his small amount of mercy by a small thread in front of you each day.

"I need you like I need air to breathe, my [Y/N]. You make me so fucking hungry for your body, your voice, and that sweet succulent taste I can't find on any other human." The singed ends of his hair grazed your sensitive skin as he snuggled between your thighs.

One lick. Then two. Then three. You were so sensitive from earlier that you were already so close to cumming. Your thighs jerked around his dancing lips and your hips bucked against his desperate hands, clawing and digging into the flesh of your ass.

"Ah, ah. Not yet, doll. We have a whole night ahead of us, don't we?"

[wolfram-but-art]

I love your Polish Spy headcanon so much. There is next to no mutual intelligibility between Polish and Russian, so Heavy would be just as confused as everyone else, but at least it would explain why Spy takes off his shoes indoors or something. Anyway, https://youtu.be/jaMcIbIWt_4 consider this video

BAHAHA I HAVENT SEEN THE PART WHERE HE ASKS WHERE HE WAS BORN THATS SO GOOD,,,, i love that video so much <3

i thought it was funny to include Mundy asking Heavy to translate because Polish is very commonly mistaken for Russian... they're not even that similar...

and YES!!! i didn't even think about the shoes part but that's so true

also Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz is Spy's real name but nobody believes him, so they just pretend/ choose to believe he has no name/ hasn't told them his real name

[angry-gryphon]

The issue with America is that, since it's founding, it has been institutionally messed up. From the writings of the constitution, 200 years on.

You can't expect a codified and entrenched document written by a few rich, white, cis-gendered, heterosexual men, of whom were also colonisers, to really consider any human beings besides those within their class and social demographic.

From the get-go, it started wrong. In it's initial writing, slaves were only ⅗ of a person, and only 7% of the population is considered. Women weren't even included in it.

Not only that, they only had around 13 states when shaping that document, now it's 50 - they had no concept of globalisation as it stands today, with guns that can fire 10 bullets a second; they had muskets and guns that could fire 1 bullet a minute.

The Supreme Court had so little written about them (1,000 words roughly) that they easily have the most flexibility in power; literally gave themselves the power of Judicial Review when they set the precedent for it. No wonder AOC, a democratically elected official (and woman, minority, and ethical human being), says that limitations should be placed on the power of Judicial Review, created by the unelected body that uses it, which can essentially override any branch of government if the case is brought to them.

It's in my personal belief that the Supreme Court is the most powerful branch of government in the US. And by that, should they really be unelected individuals who can sit in that position for life (or until impeachment and retirement)? Should there not be more consideration for who is elected to it? Justice Jackson, (when she takes her seat), arguably had one of most frustrating Senate hearings of the Justices so far; asking her about critical race theory, what defines a woman, rambling about religion, a very partisan environment with very little said and asked about the actual job, when the only thing her job entails, or should, is specific cases; not a political agenda. She is easily the most qualified to sit on the court, having been in pretty much every legal court she can sit on, yet had some of the most irrelevant questions asked. Meanwhile, Republican Amy C-Barret could falsify an entire constitutional notion (super precedent; literally does not exist) and literally have such poor knowledge of the freedoms granted by the constitution that she didn't even know them all — yet be rushed through in 27 days and still be considered "well qualified" by the ABA (American Bar Association). Incorrect, she didn't even know the freedoms by heart, how is she well qualified to then literally interpret those freedoms case by case? Clearly the very appointment process is in need of work, especially since it is just 9 people determining the rights and law of millions, and some of it's members cannot even remember the basic freedoms.

The only branch that could overpower the SC is Congress, via constitutional amendment, yet they haven't. First, there's only been 27 amendments (2 of which were just about alcohol), and second, who then interprets that? SC. But honestly, do you not agree that the elected branch, particularly the law makers, should be in charge of such a highly political topic such as abortion? The Supreme Court is not meant to be political, yet here we have arguably the most political court to date.

The US has been broken from the start. The Founding Fathers had no concept of how today would look and therefore a document they wrote centuries ago has become fossilised, and the document itself was not perfectly functional, but in a country that salutes the flag in schools and is rife with propaganda, do we really expect it to improve?

If your rights are literally dependent upon whether an unelected judge can look at the words written centuries ago, words written by men who only considered <10% of the population when writing it, do you not think it's a broken system? You literally have to hope that each of those individual judges is nice enough to interpret it liberally enough that they permit your rights by majority.

But even those of a conservative, strict constructionist and originalist approach to the constitution, at least in regards to abortion, are blatantly wrong if they also support owning guns. The original meaning of the 2nd amendment is that the people of a militia have the right to bear arms, of which were basically muskets to protect a regularly invaded country — not every single average citizen with AK-47s. Yet, they support owning guns across the board; but not abortion? Abortion, an interpreted right brought in by a liberal, loose and living interpretation? But they support guns for everyone, which is arguably also a loose approach too, as if they truly interpreted the original words and context to it's writing then that average American should not have a gun, only a militia.

It's all backwards, really. The US system is riddled with so many imperfections that you would truly have to abandon the constitutional system as it is to fix it. Don't even get me started on elections.

I hope, as someone who supports human rights and common sense (one enables the other), that there is some way to legalise abortion across the whole US again; constitutional amendment, re-examining of the Mississippi Case (the recent ruling that abortion is not constitutional and the legality is thus to be determined by the individual states, overruling their previous ruling in Roe v Wade), etc. Some way, some how, I hope you get your rights, and I'm sure there are constitutional loopholes found by experts who may be able to aid in that.

But those same arguments against the constitutionality of abortion can be applied to aspects such as same sex marriage, voting rights, interracial relationships and even segregation. It starts here. It doesn't end here. Justice Thomas already wants to reassess same sex marriage (Obergefell v Hodges) and contraception. Either get a democrat leaning court, constitutional amendment via Congress, or remove the whole system, because that's your only way out.

I really wish common sense...was actually common among people. Or just, like, basic decency and critical thinking skills.

Rant temporarily over.

[fireandspiceland]

holy fucking shit me to man, waleseng is something I didn't know I needed tbh but now I'm obsessed

Hehe nice we got another one 👀 I don’t know what it is about this ship, but it’s the one that ultimately got me into omegaverse and that says a lot. I’m glad the brainrot is spreading cause the tags is… empty T_T