Tumgik
#im sorry i dont want to overwhelm myself :(
femivi · 9 days
Text
someone should stop me from drawing my mutuals without their permission .. like who do i think i am, picasso? :scoff:
17 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 3 months
Text
i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.
#bpd#like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular#and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache#my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T#but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person#or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me#like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down#and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and#saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that#or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment#like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel#but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no#what i *want*. bc what i desire is love#but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions#idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support#and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me#there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay#and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else#i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this#i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone#and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other
16 notes · View notes
gifti3 · 11 months
Text
Thinking about og obey me and how asmo would say something that would have me quickly filing him in the 'avoid' category
33 notes · View notes
anotherpapercut · 5 months
Text
working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that way‚ what the effects of that would be‚ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
8 notes · View notes
reploidbuddy · 2 months
Text
TIL writer’s burnout is a thing and I recognize myself in the symptoms ;-;
5 notes · View notes
superbellsubways · 8 months
Text
being perceived by too many people
12 notes · View notes
carpthecarp · 9 days
Text
Tumblr media
tonights mood kinda
3 notes · View notes
Text
"have you eaten?" "yes" i said, like a liar
4 notes · View notes
ittybittybumblebee · 4 months
Text
i tend to struggle with believing like neurodivergency about myself often when i dont feel like i struggle enough. but i always reference in my head these times where im doing quite well in between the hard stuff. and when im doing quite well its always when im left to my own devices to do what i want. when im doing bad im very overwhelmed by stuff that makes me stressed that i Have to do
and i know this is common but sometimes its hard to contextualize in your own life you know. you have your own nuance thats different from other peoples. your own experiences can be generally common but are also quite specific
3 notes · View notes
heirscrchd · 4 months
Text
Heading to work early, I might take a small break rn
3 notes · View notes
kidfoundonstreets · 6 months
Text
all of these thoughts wont stop
3 notes · View notes
edwinspaynes · 10 months
Note
wessa opening each other's presents under the christmas tree after TID !
HI so I love this prompt but prompts are currently closed. BUT the good news is that I'll almost definitely be opening them again later in the month (December), so hold that thought and send it to me then!
5 notes · View notes
sinfulforrest · 2 years
Text
gehhh I can feel my brain starting to turn pretty fucky wucky and I would really prefer to not have that happen again cause it was really bad last timeee
Tumblr media
16 notes · View notes
biolums · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
why not mewhynot me whynotme whynotMEwhy Not Mewhy not me whynot me whynotme Whynot me WHYNOTME why not me. why not me
#irls please dont read this. sorry#im so overwhelmed rn. and i fucking feel like im going to die#like yes we all know im soooo unlovable that nothing new but god. i just want to be intimate and have someone be my safe space again#i KNOW its unhealthy and its not like its ever gonna happen again. but its all i can fucking dream of#i wwnt to be all someone thinks about just like how i always think about them. maybe i just want to be equals in a relationship. because#CLEARLY my last relationship i was the only one feeling anything!! and CLEARLY I PUT ALL THE FUCKING WORK IN AND I LOVED SO HARD. AND#IT WASNT EGEN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IT WAS THE HEALTHIEST ONE IVE EVER BEEN IN. BUT IM STILL TOO MUCH 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#even now i cant think about that too much because i literally think were soulmates. and its Too Upsetting to think about that#when she broke up with me and said ‘i had a lot of fun with you’. we dated for 11 months. you met my family. donyou know how mucch ghat#CRUSHED me#i was doing so well. and i was having healthy relationship thoughts! and i was telling myself that i was just insecure those last few weeks.#and then i fucking spiraled OF COURSE I SPIRALLED.#hahahahahaha im not even talking about the other thing i think ill really kill myself if i think out that at all#whatever i dont even have time to be having a breakdown right now!! haha hahahaah i literally cant imagine making it to the end of this week#jace.txt
7 notes · View notes
bingobongobonko · 1 year
Text
work in the afternoon so i have time to do. somthing.. its 12 am. finished drg season, just two assignment sets so nothing too daunting. i could work on campaign stuff but also i could sleep but also i could fold my clothes.. conflicted. might just go do campaign stuff right
4 notes · View notes
the-acid-pear · 1 year
Text
Okay I'm home now and i can fully and freely type. Anyway mild spoilers for into the spiderverse i guess?
❌❌❌
Anyway uh. Yeah it... It was a tiny bit of a disappointment. It didn't do it for me at all. I feel like this movie is more of an art exhibit and i mean that as a fucking insult. Like sure the animation fucks my ears are ringing and my head aches horribly (that's on me for thinking i can be autistic and watch this on theaters) but like, the story man? It just so much (DEROGATORY).
It commits the sin a lot of spiderman movies make and that is that it bit more than it could chew. Not because they're bad at handling a complex story, but because they tried to juggle like 5 at once. And that never fucking works (my ear is still ringing and it hurts I'm in pain rn -_+ just wanted y'all to know)
Like it introduced SO FUCKING MUCH and it all was cool yeah! Just like electro was cool, and Harry, and Gwen, and captain Stacy. You know what in trying to fucking say? There's only so much you can do in 2 hours and you can just throw all you have all at once at the viewer because all you'll do is leave them disappointed wanting for more of that.
I feel like a baby. They show me this cool thing but nuh uh! Enough of that! Here's this new cool thing! But nuh uh! Enough of that- and so on. Like there were so many cool characters and ideas and concepts and shit but it could barely balance it all. YOU KNOW HOW BAD I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF THE SPOT?! HE BARELY WAS HERE!
It's like, you cannot fucking make a whole movie as the introduction to your next movie. That just sucks. You're setting yourself up for failure.
Like I'm just so upset bc it was full of amaizing things but it didn't fucking deliver in any of them!!!! And God don't get me started on the references. I think this was one of the worst ways to fill your movie with references. Like at least let me fucking process what I'm seeing if you are gonna waste so much time here, but also just... Don't make it so fucking blatant.
Like man i... This was a very experimental spiderman movie which i appreciate in a way but... It's not what I was expecting. To me, personally, it was disappointing. And also not designed at ALL to watch on cinemas. I think that last bit is just a fact.
I'm just kinda sad man. Like i loved Miles and Gwen's drama and i loved Miguel but I also wanted to see more of, you know, THE WHOLE FUCKING NEW CAST AND THE NEW FUCKING VILLAIN THEY INTRODUCED BUT SHOWED ONLY FOR LIKE 2-3 SEGMENTS MAX???????
LIKE HANDS ON HEAD EMOJI WHAT WERE THEY DOINGGGGG 😭😭😭😭
#luly talks#im sorry to the people who loved this movie i am so upset#on funnier news i found the spot is called la mancha in spanish which is funny bc mancha is what we call a common kids game#in fact i remember that the english name for that is tag we call that mancha#LA mancha#btw i did love Miles' mom having more of the spotlight it was like a little treat for us latinos fr#also. the amount of cop stuff was a bit too much. i wouldn't call it pro cop like some idiot i saw the other day but it. like. hm. y'know?#like this movie feels like an art project something you'd see the fans do and if they did you'd allow the imperfections#but it was made by an studio and there were expectatives in the table like it. it just doesn't stand on its own at all#I WANTED MORE OF PAV AND HOBBIE MAN. I FUCKING DID. HOBBIE ESP I HAVE A CRUSH ON EM#they/them too right? didnt really hear it well but I'm sure i heard em be called they#i will say tho i loved the pear shaped spiderwoman that was super cool#i did literally joke about being too fat to make a spidersona b4 watching the movie and sure she was a woman i aint but it was nice anyway#but yeah it just. it tried to chew more than it could bite. the spot was so cool tho#the spot and hobbie are my guys i love them#man I'm just sad i really am im repeating myself bc im too overwhelmed to retain thoughts so idk if im being clear but like#this movie had a LOT of good things but it delivered on nearly NONE of them#like just commit! you want this to be a story about Miles sure do that but just focus on him and that's it#dont throw in so much and leave us yearning for more bc now we have the old cast AND the new cast both and we barely saw any of these new#ppl interacting we barely fucking know them#anyway just SAD man
4 notes · View notes