#im still gonna eat that moss tho

[s5oyaa]

that warm summer afternoon

[roenais]

pls i would LOVE to hear about your hermits species headcanons

you know what im gonna elaborate on my headcanons for the ambiguous hermits because theres a lot of them.

grian is obviously inhuman, but his wings seem to change color and design in different seasons. people just assume he's an avian who occasionally glitches into new bird types (people respawning with new features isn't uncommon in the world of minecraft after all) and have never asked. those with keen eyes for magic might notice a trace of admin power and watcher magic on him and connect the dots further, but he won't talk about it.

keralis and joe often seem like they can be in multiple places at once. both of them have just... a spooky aura, but when asked tend to just say "i'm keralis :)" or "i'm joe hills from nashville tennessee." and not elaborate further. they're definitely some kind of cryptids and most people don't want to think too hard about it.

etho has pointed ears and refuses to take the mask off, but otherwise he's categorically human. years of respawns just tends to change people, like the server slowly forgets how to reshape you as a human. still, he thinks its funny when people claim he's some kind of cryptid or fantasy creature so he rolls with it. (tho i am a fan of legitimate cryptid or vampire etho so i keep rolling back and forth on this one)

scar will openly call himself a vex and a wizard and people either think he's joking or just magically forget about it by the time the conversation is over. even people who were there for the convex pranks think it was just a silly name they adopted. something about vex magic just makes people believe he's completely human even when he's trying to peddle magic crystals, so he doesn't bother bringing it up much anymore.

pearl's some kind of moon spirit/moon witch, but hasn't mentioned it much yet because she's new to the server and it's never really relevant. she's not hiding anything, just... hasn't had the need to talk about it, y'know? plus with the whole 'moon big' fiasco it's a little awkward to go around telling everybody on the server that you're linked to the moon.

mumbo was the vicitim of a server glitch, causing him to shift into what he eats. but it's okay! because he ate grian's soul, so he's human again. right? sure it's a little weird that he didn't get any of grian's bird features, but i'm sure everything is fine. he's definitely human. he's sure of it.

bdubs meanwhile... poor guy hasn't been human for 3 seasons now but refuses to admit it. he'll grow moss out of his skin and vines around his arms and still stubbornly insist that he is VERY MUCH A REGULAR HUMAN. maybe you guys are the weird ones. it's totally normal to wilt without sunlight. that's called getting TIRED AT NIGHT thank you get much.

thank u for coming to my ted talk this server is full of cryptids

[insertdisc5]

Yet Another Zelda Roleswap (the masterpost)

✨what's this AU?

Check THIS POST I DID that started it all and also the AU’s tag

✨in this au, the previous legends about the triforce are the same, aka “zeldas are princesses links are heroes and ganon/ganondorf is always the same guy and the big bad”! BUT THIS TIME DESTINY DID AN OOPSIE and ganondorf forgot all about his previous lives while link is the one who remembers them all!!! zelda just wants to travel and read cool legends and didnt expect to be part of one

✨ZELDA STUFF

-trans girl, found the name zelda in very very very old royal records

-she's like 16 or something

-seventh heir to the throne who wants to prove herself, so she goes on an adventure to save the world!!!!

-adventurous and impulsive and naive

-main weapon is bows, she also knows magic and sheikah techniques

-has six siblings who dont really pay attention to her. shes probably the youngest

-her point of view is very black and white at first

-even when she gets in the middle of link and ganon’s story she still doesn’t believe she is The Zelda of legend

-how could she she’s just a zelda, one among many, just a kid playing at being a princess

-(she IS the zelda)

-she gets a bird AND a white horse!!!!

-if she sees a weird cave she WILL go into it 

-would probably eat moss if dared

✨LINK STUFF

-genderfluid, uses he/they

-hes in his early twenties

-a man zelda meets during her travels, who seems to know a lot about old legends

-he can see koroks and fairies, who can’t be seen by most people

-gets all his past lives' memories after he gets the master sword, over a period of a day or two

-maybe link does remember his past deaths along with his past lives, but past deaths are maybe more muted…. less like he experienced them and more like someone told him about it. still fucks him up tho

-i feel like he’d be pretty nice and sleepy all the time, until you mention something that has to do with his memories (aka, ganondorf, but also like “oh ive heard some hero in the legends went back to being a kid to save the world or whatever) and he’d get this super serious, focused look… something like that, little things that would make zelda go :^?

-he just really wants to kill ganondorf ya dig

-SO MANY BOSS FORMS probably one per main title (kinda like xant’s battle in TP) (strongest/hardest to fight is majora’s mask link), and final form is definitely some twisted looking fierce deity

-as for his past selves he has all of their memories and its kind of… they’re not him, he’s him, they’re just memories that he has, but when he is very very stressed its “memories become actual personalities for a sec” time. 99% of the time its just him and then ganondorf is there and its like WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE A MURDER HERE

-he’s not controlled by malice or anything because it would feel like a deus ex machina to me

-in the end he doesnt die and he gets redemption because he didnt hurt anyone he just tried to kill ganondorf a few times hes good, and also zelda is his friend and an heir to the throne he’s got immunity. poor guy just needs help processing all those lives and needs a cabin in the woods with some fairies!!!

-re: his past lives, oot link SUPER HATES ganondorf while ww link is more sympathetic. links who havent fought ganondorf are ambivalent about him

-endgame ship is either with ganondorf OR beedle. beedle is the secret ending

-will eat moss

✨GANONDORF STUFF

-he's in his twenties i promise he just has resting old man face

-zelda’s old childhood friend

-doesn’t remember anything about his past lives

-gerudo king, very serious but fairly well loved

-lets not talk about malice it either doesnt exist/this ganondorf doesnt have any/this ganondorf knows how to control it. either way its not gonna affect the story

-”what are you wearing today king” “oh, just whatever” (its not whatever he spent hours finding the day’s outfit)

-found out about his past lives while reading a very very very old book, probably read it and stayed in his room for a week and then promised himself to never ever ever turn out like that

-genuinely a good person

-would never eat moss

✨RELATIONSHIPS STUFF

-zelda and ganondorf actually knew each other as kids! Both being royalty and all. legends do talk about a hero a princess a beast or whatever but don’t use link or ganondorf’s names since it’s been so long- it takes zelda and ganondorf both finding old, old books on their own to be like “AH OOPS”!!! Ganondorf learns about his past lives much earlier than zelda, who finds out during her adventures, and she goes from seeing ganondorf as a dear friend to being like “…but what if he’s really bad though”

they’re old childhood friends, you know, the kind that were best friends before and then grew up and saw each other less often (different kingdoms and all) so they kinda grew apart, and then zelda starting her quest made them reconnect again! Ganondorf is a little older than zelda so he always saw her more as his little sister who just jumps into mud because she totally saw a sword there i promise, and zelda sees ganondorf as her cool older brother who actually pays attention to her, unlike her actual siblings

-when link and zelda meet, zelda’s like “weird dude but probably harmless” and link is like “weird girl but probably harmless” and then she’s like “oh my name is zelda” and link goes “ah just likeWAIT” and he kinda observes her to… gauge her abilities? My Zeldas Were Better kinda thing. i guess during their final battle he’s like “you’re really a zelda, after all” and its bittersweet

the second zelda figures out link is also part of those legends she goes full hero worship mode, which makes link’s fall from grace… really… hard on her. ive been admiring you and wanting to be a hero like you all this time, turns out you’re not a hero and also Not Okay

-re ganondorf and link, after everything that happened uuuh

human brain: it probably takes them both a long while to get used to each other, given that one was almost killed by the other and the other has vivid memories of having their world(s) destroyed by the one, but after a while they probably bond over their shared uuuuh memories i guess. link visits gerudo city once in a while and they catch up and become friends and

lizard brain: after 100k words they DATE

no i wont write how it happens you will NOT make me embarrass myself in front of everyone because i earnestly wrote about how link visits ganondorf every time he’s in gerudo country and at first link just passes by to give ganondorf news about how zelda is faring as queen and news about the world, and as time goes and years go by  they start talking about their lives and struggles and just taking walks across the desert together and having sand seal races and everyone in ganondorf’s court is like “so when’s that little voe coming back” and ganondorf is like “i neither know nor care that its been three months since his last visit” and everyone’s like (smirk) “okay” and when has he even started to look forward to link’s visits anyway how did this happen and then link comes back and smiles gently and shows ganondorf this cool rock he found that looks like ganondorf’s face and ganondorf is smitten

takes them both Y E A R S to realize their feelings and then date tho. slow burn or bust

✨WORLD STUFF

-takes place in a time where the games’ adventures are only known as legends where they didnt even write down ganondorf’s and link’s names

-now that im thinking about it it wouldnt happen like THOUSANDS OF YEARS after any game because then ganon and link wouldnt be that worried about their destiny??? so maybe like 100-200 years after a game??? and the ppl writing down the legends were just terrible bookkeepers who couldnt even think write down link and ganon’s name

-(smash voice) EVERYONE IS HERE!!!!!!!! tingle and agitha the bug princess and sidon and especially groose who is uuuuum zelda’s rival who is totally not in love with her

-i think in botw its implied koroks are only seen by people like link and zelda??? so id say only people with uuuuh magical power??? can see them???? so koroks are just doin their thing, playing pranks, helping people without them knowing, and, in the case of makar, playing romantic music around couples

[tillman]

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now . 

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69 

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66 

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man.  i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways 

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place 

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with! 

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people 

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow) 

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king..................  4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot!  hes a pyromancer.  being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though! 

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please ! 

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot! 

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch! 

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss. 

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

 SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser 

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG! 

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves! 

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her! 

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work! 

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

 CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all. 

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!) 

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS.  he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy! 

and finally.

its patches.

[rollforsleepy]

So I’ve been working on this for like three weeks! It’s been a tonne of fun but also a tonne of work. Coming up with five distinct subraces meant a lot of drawing! Oh boy! This started as a re write of the Dryad race because I didn’t think the Dryad race i found online was super playable, but it kinda gotta away from me a bit so I left dryads behind and these are fully homebrewed! The main carry overs from dryads are the +2 wisdom that they all get, and the no metal caveat in the weaponry proficiencies.

I spent some time researching different culture’s mythology on dryads and similar creatures. Wikipedia has a handy list of similar folklores at the end of the dryad entry (im not linking cos tumblr screws w posts w external links, but you can check it out yourself if youre curious). Basically I picked a few and wrote down some notes on each one so each subclass had a distinct feeling to it.

The Deep Forest subclass is based off hamadryads. Super long life, connected to a specific tree (i removed the life or death thing and just made it birthed by a tree, cos having a tree that if cut would killed you seemed unbalanced to me), that sorta thing. Cos they’re based on Oak trees, and Oaks are fairly hardy, I gave them some good survival type stuff. I didn’t want long, unfamiliar names so I changed it from Hamadryad to Deep Forest. Also I really didn’t want them to hark back to dryads and just Hamad had a weird ring to it to me

Gillie Du got to pretty much keep it’s name tho. Originally it’s Ghillie Dhu, and there was nothing wrong w that but i wanted things a bit simple in the name department. Ghillie Dhu is a Scottish fairy who (to drastically summarise him) lives in a marsh and plays tricks on people. As I said earlier, I wasn’t using these sources as gospel, just as flavour affects, so the Gillie Du subrace became a more water based thing with the breathing under water and swim speed.

Desert Walkers probably changed most from their original material. I started with the Salabhanjika, a sculpture found in india that’s always got a tree and a musical instrument in it. I wanted a bit of size range (i had to talk myself out of making one of them Large size cos it got too op, but I wanted to so bad) so they got the Small tag, then because India is a hot country and I already had a sub class more tightly woven in with fruit trees I made it more desert based, giving some good boosts to travelling related skills. I really love playing Small races and I wanna play as one of these now, it feels built for a ranger but I think it could make a kickass wizard tbh

The Maliade are based on the Epimelides, who were a kind of nymph associated with apple trees and sheep. I extended that association to fruit trees and all farm animals cos i didn’t want to cramp anyones roleplaying incase someone really wanted to be a Maliade who’s buddies with a bull and makes three magic dragon fruits every day. There’s no information beyond that on wikipeida, but I didn’t have any subrace who had a close relationship with people, so they got that. I like this one, I think the skills are pretty useful in a lot of small ways

And the Kodama! The Kodama are the only ones who actually got to keep their original name. Kodama are a Japanese spirit that inhabit trees. They can also be seen as Mountain Gods. So these guys got the mountain skills. Spider climb is a great skill, but when coupled with a slower speed I thought they cancel out pretty comfortably to make a balanced race. The Kodama has a brief description on wikipedia, but it’s terrifying, “small, white humanoids with large, rattling heads and mask-like features, with asymmetrical black dots for eyes and mouth, and move similar to bobbleheads.” I took the essence of this (pale skin, dark eyes) and dropped the rest. A lot of people (myself included) like their characters to be sexy, and that ain’t hot to me

Click through to read a transcript of the race if the font above is too small/blurry.

I’m gonna be making more of these and if there’s some interest I’ll start doing some stuff on Patreon, let me know if you thinks that’s something worthwhile. I’ve got a race in the works now that is like a living statue. Super slow but super durable. It’s a bit min/max but could be fun for some campaigns

Nature Spirits

Nature Spirits are a known phenomenon, a wandering essence of the land who appear commonly in the land. Some Nature Spirits are chosen and come into being through a birth touched by the land, some choose the path themselves and give their souls over to the land, some are simply brought into being by the powers of the land. It is a difficult life as a Nature Spirit, your priority is not yourself rather the protection and love of your home land. You have features and traits specific to the type of land you hail from.

Varied Childhoods

Each Nature Spirit is different, some wander far from their home, travelling and researching the world at large to better safeguard the continued life of their land. Others never leave and are rarely if ever seen by a civilised person. Some live in harmony with the people of their land, others seek to drive out humanoid peoples. You path in life is up to you, but the land you are from is your home and your priority.

Nature Spirit Traits

Ability Score Increase: Your Wisdom score increases by two.

Languages: You speak Common and Sylvan

Weapon Proficiency: You are proficient with the quaterstaff, club, greatclub, and slings. You cannot use this proficiency to use metal weapons and must use naturally found projectiles (such as wood, stone, nuts) for your sling. If your Class gives you proficiency in any of these weapons the metal caveat no longer applies

Alignment: Nature Spirits can have any alignment, but their loyalty lies with the land that powers them

Choose one from the following Racial Variants

Deep Forest

These spirits emerge from an ancient tree once in the trees lifetime, sometimes living incorporeally their whole lives, other times taking humanoid form to explore their forest in that way. They are ancient, tough, and fast, living the longest of any of their brethren Nature Spirits. Their hair forms as moss does atop their head. They are the least likely to leave their home unless they must.

Age: You age slowly, up to about 1000 years, and you age in time as a human would, at 80 years old you appear 8, at 900 years old you appear as a 90 year old human

Size: Medium

Speed: Your speed is 35ft

Ability Score Increase: Your Strength score increases by one.

The Hard Trek: Rough and difficult terrain does not affect you

Vision: You have Darkvision to a distance of 60ft

Survivalist: You are proficient in the Survival skill

Gillie Du

The Gillie Du find home wherever land meets water, be it ocean, river bank, or a swampy marsh. They are generally cheerful and occasionally make themselves known as a trickster to strangers in their land. Their skin is a dusky green tone but otherwise they appear somewhat elven. They can be born of humanoids, but more often are formed over some time in their land, and very occasionally a humanoid will show such a loyalty to the land that they turn into a Gillie Du. They are comfortable in both water and on land, but prefer land.

Age: You are fully grown at about 40 years old and do not age until your death at about 700 years of age.

Size: Medium

Speed: Your speed is 30ft, and your swim speed is 30ft

Ability Score Increase: Your Dexterity score increases by one.

Powerful Lungs: You can hold your breath for fifteen minutes plus a number of minutes equal to your Constitution modifier (minimum of zero)

Vision: You have Darkvision to a distance of 60ft

Sleep with Ease: You can cast the Alarm spell once a day without components

Desert Walker

Desert Walkers are born in deserts and find themselves comfortable in a hot climates. They are the most inhuman in appearance, still humanoid but with grey black skin, ears that connect behind their heads, and everlastingly young. Their age, of course, is not reflected in their appearance and they often speak with an experience that startles people. They are soft spoken and have learned from the many cultures they have encountered in their time.

Age: You live up to roughly 200 years, always appearing someone younger than an adult

Size: Small

Speed: You move quickly despite your size. Your speed is 30

Ability Score Increase: Your nomadic lifestyle has caused you to meet with the odd civilisation and learn from many varied cultures. Your Intelligence score increases by one

Inexhaustable: You have advantage against effects that will cause Exhaustion

Fire: You can cast the Cantrip Produce Flame

Musically Gifted: You have proficiency in one musical instrument of your choice

Keep an Eye Out: You have Expertise in the Perception skill

Endurance: You do not need to eat

Maliade

The Maliade Spirits are the most civilised, often the child of a townsperson who is touched by the powers of nature. They grow up with a community of humanoids in a small town hidden in the forest, or a larger city connected to an expanse of untouched flora. They are Medium size even if their birth parents are Small or Large, their size is determined by their Nature Spirit soul. They are friendly with animals and people alike, used to the constraints of town life as well as the freedom beyond. They are the most normal in appearance, the least likely of their kin to turn heads

Age: You age at the same rate as the average human, and die at roughly 100 years of age

Size: Medium

Speed: Your speed is 30ft

Ability Score Increase: Your Charisma score increases by one.

Language: You can speak to all farm animals

A Good Fruit: Everyday you can create four fruits of your choice, each feeds the average person for a day and restores 2 Hit Points. You cannot use this abiliy again until your next long rest

Find a Ride: At 3rd level you can cast Find Steed once a day, you are restricted to animals that would be normally found in a farm such as a horse, sheep, or cow.

Cook: You are proficient in Cooks Tools

Kodama

The Kodama are usually the result of a lost traveller or explorer who commits their life to protecting the land they’ve found and accepts the physical changes that entails. They are drawn to the roads and paths through their mountain range, watching and learning the different plants, animals, and humanoids that grow and pass through. They are pale skinned with dark irises and are generally more lean than strong.

Age: You live up to 400 years, aging to appear as a human would in their 60s

Size: Medium

Speed: You’re used to moving carefully across treacherous mounains, as such your speed is 25ft

Ability Score Increase: The mountains are a hard life. Your Constitution score increases by one

Natural Defence: You are more likely to defend yourself than attacked, as such once a day you can cast Barkskin

A Life of Climbing: You are forced to carefully climb your way throug life, leaving you with an ability most professional climbers would marvel at. You can Spiderclimb, climbing across walls and roofs live gravity doesn’t affect you

Sight: You have 30ft of Darkvision

[swearronchanel]

the durrells 4.02

Forgot to post this last week oops 🤦🏼‍♀️so ya get double of my thoughts tonight lol

Lugaretiza is a mood my back is always killing me 😂😂 I’m in my 20s with the bones of an 80 year old  

Leslie’s got baby fever lol he will get over it REAL QUICK once he baby sits

“No in bananas” LMAO I love Louisa

First Larry, now Margo, everyone’s leaving 😭

MR TOAD LMAO

“Plenty more where that came from” we all love her cruelty

but also Basil is literally a clown 😂

Where the hell does Spiros find these random ass guests?

SPIROS IS BLATANTLY JEALOUS AH

BTW i’m going to Corfu this week & I’m HYPE! Can’t wait to chill by the beach 😭 going to embrace my inner Louisa well probably more like Margo lmaoo or somewhere in between like Donna in Mamma Mia 😂

Why did this man bring a trunk of guns? Weirdo

“Louisa doesn’t wanna hear the word crotch” LMAO shut up Basil

WWII really looming yikes

Margo’s secret location is Theo’s LMAO, someone will easily find out and snitch

Theo fighting himself but being so anal is cute lol, we all know I love Theo

This colonel is weird

“I’d rather die” LMAO ME AT EVERY SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE

‘I love her like a burning ..house’. Basil is a freak but also aren’t he and Louisa cousins? The caucacity 😂

I miss Larry, come back bro

Ugh Spiros can you fix all this pls

Too many men in the house 😂 I feel that tho, too much testosterone in the air 😂

“No I’m waiting for you” Leslie.. just .. no lmao stop.

When have you ever seen a Wild boar Leslie ?

Louisa’s face ugh she makes me so sad! # Spiros leave your wife and love Louisa challenge !!

BASIL LMAO why is he always popping up when no one asks

Louisa like seafood, we love a gal with good taste

I knew Gerry would easily find Margo lol

Ok but why doesn’t Theo have a woman for real? He’s handsome

Damn £25

I feel like Jean Harlow would’ve already passed away by this time? But I guess she would’ve still been in magazines idk, I’m being an annoying history student lol

Aw Galini

Gerry this sounds like a terrible idea, Leslie literally shot Zoltan by accident lmao

I knew Leslie was being played 😂

SCOFF? LMAO why do Brits have be strangest terms? Sometimes I swear it isn’t English

“You’re the one with a full bed to go home to” LOUISA REALLY NOT EVEN HIDING THAT SHE’S DTF ANYMORE SJSJSJ

Louisa sweetie I’m so sorry your kids are the worst but especially Leslie LMAO

“and rare and regrettable” UGH stop making me so sad. Spiros just forget your wife 😂 ((this is the only time I condone cheating Ok I’m not a homewrecker)

Alright I lowkey feel Margo, I don’t think my family really took me seriously until I left for London this year (I only have a month left until my term is done and I go back to the states tho like what?)

Aww she looks so pretty, good work Margo

“Chemicals and a lot of bravery” me this morning dying my hair in my flat

5 second rule in full effect for that that egg lmaoo it’s ok no one saw anyways

THE GONG

RISE AND SHINE BITCHES

Daphne really is crazy I would not trust Leslie with my baby and deff not for a whole day 😂

THEO NAILING HIS FURNITURE TO THE FLOOR SJSJJS

He’s literally an angel tho, he deals with the most 😂

“HIDE IN THE FOLIAGE & MAKE WILD BOAR NOISES” LMAO IS THIS I LOVE LUCY?

Louisa’s cringe lmao, she doesn’t trust Basil

HE BOUGHT A LITTLE BRIDGE LMAOO WTF THIS IDIOT😂😂

and I called it that someone would tell Louisa 😂 glad it was Larry but I miss his actual presence

This hunt will be a shit show

LESLIE BROUGHT THE BABY OMG

moss in her ears won’t help 🤦🏼‍♀️

WHY IS THE COLONEL POINTING HIS GUN IN FRONT OF THE BABY? HE’S INSANE

momma louisa😭

I miss Margo’s antics, give her more screen time

HE SHOT THE GONG WTF

“HOW DARE YOU! MY MOTHER LOVES THIS GONG” LMAOOO

BASIL SKISKS

this is literally a scene of an I love Lucy episode 😂

Bro THIS COLONEL NEEDS TO TAKE SEVERAL SEATS, HE IS TOO TRIGGER HAPPY

OMG AND HE HAS PTSD

GERRY MOVE OMG SJJSJSKS

I CANT AHHH this madness

Louisa against too many men, come back Margo

Oh shit I forgot she’s going back to England!

“Home is where I am” ok I’m sad lol haven’t seen my fam in 4 months

I’m so not ready for this show to end like damn only 4 episodes left

“Where’d you serve?” COLLEGE LMAO uni is a war zone sjksks

Louisa just kick all these assholes out tbh

Bridge the card game you idiot

“How about it, you and me?” “No.” CRINGE HAHA & LOUISA’S FACE

“We are related after all” LMAO IM GLAD SHE SAID IT

“Why eat boiled beef when there’s hot souvlaki on the menu?” LMAO HE ISNT WRONG !

But he’s not on the menu damn it

Omg Aunt Hermonie’s photo is on her night stand RIP😭

The dancer girls came back lol

“It means you have a wife you want to keep & me here waiting for you just in case” OOFF that one hurt

Can they pls just get a happy ending ?? I know it’s not gonna happen but I can dream right

Yess a girls day, just what Louisa needs

“Despite his baby fetish” LMAO goodbye colonel

“Ugh yea they’re a nightmare” told you les 😂

He still sucks Lmaoo, Louisa vent to Florence

But also when do louisa and spiros get friendly again so Florence can say “ofc people think you’re having an affair!” And we get all that trailer content 😍

YAMAS ~

[ss-trashboat]

im probably gonna send you more of these for your kids at some point too, but as for now for asagao!shawna; reddish brass, vermilion, crimson, mallow, honey, anise, moss ~

that’s all good tho yooo ~

reddish brass: how likely is your muse to step up and take the role of a leader? are they willing to take the challenge, or are they more apt to being a follower? she’s an anxious bean so she’s more comfortable being on the sidelines getting directions, unless it’s something that means a lot to her. say it’s an art show going on, then she gets in full boss mode and will do whatever it takes to make sure it’s the best show possible. which definitely means lots of sleep deprived nights

vermillion: is your muse courageous, or would they consider themselves to be more of a coward? her classmates might see her as a bit cowardly, as she absolutely hates conflict and gets very uneasy with it so she tries to avoid it at all costs, but she can be courageous if something calls for her to be. it might take her a little bit to work herself up, but she can do it if necessary 

crimson: how passionate is your muse about the things they love most? extremely passionate. they take up so much of her time, brain, and usually money, and once she gets going talking about them you might as well sit down or take a nap cause you’re going to be there a while. there’s not a whole lot of things she loves the most, but she’s loved them for most of her life so they’re very near and dear to her

mallow: what sorts of things might remind your muse of those close to them? any scents, objects, sounds? i’m not really sure? i know lemon flavored things remind her of her mom as she loved lemon flavored sweets so there’s at least that while i think of some lol

honey: when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it? she gets so much more smiley around them and definitely more comfortable to be themselves. unless it’s romantic and then there’s still the smiles, but she gets so much more awkward around them, fidgets, and steals glances whenever she can

anise: when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don’t deserve it? she likes to think she takes care of herself but. she’s really bad with it. and she knows it. she forgets to take her meds/vitamins, forgets to eat ½ the time, and who knows what else. the only thing she really does is shower regularly as she’s incredibly picky about hygiene. she’s just very used to putting others before her that she really doesn’t know how to take care of herself properly

moss: how easily does your muse adapt to any new situations they’re thrust into? oh no. she doesn’t very well at all. sudden change makes her incredibly uneasy and she sometimes panics in situations like that.

thank you for asking!!

colorful headcanons ~