#im still so fragile
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rotting in my bed all day and crying about how much i miss harry is a full time job
#i had A DREAM ABOUT HIM LAST NIGHT TOO#IT DIDNT HELP#he kissed me and we had sex :((((((((((#every time i see a tiktok about the wembley nights i just burst into tears#im still so fragile#this is a very fragile time for me rn#because the events of last year are pretty much exactly the same as this year and im tender#sorry for the rambling i am -#this bob fic is helping tho#just lemme think about my soft man
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ok but let's be real, why does Wesker look adorable when he kisses Jordan in any way,,,
like, the way you draw him kissing her, your dbd post with the neck kiss?? he's so gentle what,,,
where's this monster I hear about, hm? I only see deprived husband showing affection for wife he doesn't see due to suspiciously tentacle like creature barrier (the entity)
WHHFYQHFJFJHAJAJAJ oh my god this is so sweet .. no literally.. this compelled me to fill out a kiss chart i found on pinterest
#they all look kinda weird but i am tired so its okay#i think dbd wesker would be more clingy than regular wesker bc he never gets to see his wife#dont let that fool you though shes still getting sacrificed for that perfect 4k he doesnt want a stain on his record LMAO#i always try to draw their kisses super tender like to show that love between them#so im glad u noticed !!! he handles her like a fragile doll which is ironic bc emotionally ⦠uhh⦠yea.#thank you for the ask/req !! <333#resident evil#albert wesker#oc x canon#resident evil oc#biohazard#oc#re oc#biohazard oc#fengshuioc#fengshuispeaks#jordan manalang#jordsker
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don't think about how ramon used to having one life and one dad.
but he doesn't have to act more mature for his age around adults and his siblings anymore. he can finally be a kid. jumpy, bubbly, smiley and just overall happy kid. he's safe.
now he has both two lives and two dads.
#oh and don't think about pac calling ramon ābabyā just like he does with ramon#because he sees this still fragile part of ramon#his young soul#do you see my vision#god im so sane and normal about it#i love ramons and pacs dynamic so much#they are family#pac loves his kid so much#and ramon is so happy to have a second parent who cares about him#and who he can act natural and childish around#qsmp#pactw#qsmp pactw#ramon the egg#qsmp ramon#hideduo#fitpac#<<very implied
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#rough day#my dad is having a terrible time and I can't really help much without someone to help ME#so that's scary and sad#and the Christmas thing im making for my bf looks beautiful but i made a really really bad mistake#that means it is incredibly delicate to the point it will ultimately not be able to withstand things like dusting or being stored#so it has to go in a bell jar or something similar#and i will redo it completely after that#and i feel bad for making a mistake i was warned about because i badly misjudged what other artists meant by 'light layers'#i should have tried a more thorough test run but i thought there probably wasn't time and i turned out to be super right about that#i know the longevity thing doesn't matter much as long as i have it ready for my boyfriend#and everything else can get sorted later#but i am doing absolutely beautiful work on something i know won't survive and the context of the piece makes that unutterably sad#and the situation with my dad is awful and upsetting and i don't know what to do#i'm not a very good grownup i really am not and so much of what is being asked of me is crap i cannot do#or what is going to be asked of me#my boyfriend is here for me but doesn't know any more than i do and i feel very alone#anyway the thing im making may be fragile but it's still so beautiful and i think you'll love it when i share it
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"Democrats lost because they didn't appeal to enough men and made them feel isolated" ah yes, such as compared to the Republicans who constantly go out of their way to be quite vocal about their respect and admiration for women and trying to appeal to them, right?
#im so tired of this narrative#if you shifted right because jokes about choosing the bear made your pee pee feel small youre exactly who we're talking about#isnt it heartbreaking how no matter what everything circles back to male ego and fragility#men literally still control nearly every aspect of society and theyll still go conservative and blame women
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let me hold your hand as the world burns, kiss your lips as it ends.
#iwtv season 2 spoilers#iwtv s2#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv season 2#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire chronicles#no one fucking touch me#itās been 4 days and im still so fragile#i need to be held like louis holds lestat#the hurricane around them#their whirlwind romance means everything to me#literally damned and doomed#creeper cult x iwtv truthers rise up
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still alive. hanging out with my pal helped it was chill and awesome how easy it was just to sit arnd in each others company doin our own things. on shift w the fun coworker so hopefully i can let his voice wash over me like waves this evening i just gotta make it through from now until i clock in & then from when i close up to when i get home n eat dinner. closing up will put me thru insane illness i fear but we ball nothin i aint dealt with before
#shitboxposting#amazed im still alive. in a good way being alive is so nice#it smells like spring outside ! thats so nice !!#i think my current ennui is not having a good picture of what i want my future to look like & more importantly#not feeling like i'll get there#im coming back to it though. this tiny precious dream i dont talk about because its too fragile and i want nothing to break it#i literally want a home. with a couch and a sliding glass door to the backyard and kinda near the beach if i could manage it#a sunroom or garden i can sit & draw in . that golden stove light on the bottom of the microwave . a stack of board games#a guest room & so many spare pillows and blankets so people can crash. decent tv. big dining room table. kitchen island#my beanbag can come with me. a dinky lil room for myself. plenty of lamps and low light sources#im working towards a degree so i can afford all that. im getting better at being friendly so i can have friends over more readily .#it may seem frustrating when romantic relationships dont work out but aside from those individual attempts im getting better personally@#being able to handle having one at all. that progress is harder to see but i cant ignore that#im feeling better now. gnna play hades 2
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omfg I canāt believe for 7 years of my life, I believed Reigen was his first name and Arataka his last
nobody talk to me, I learned the truth yesterday and Iām still not over it
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#in my defense#Iām stupid /silly#LOOK OKAY LOOK IN THE DUB THEY ALWAYS SAY REIGEN ARATAKA#BUT THEY ALSO SAY SHIGEO KAGEYAMA (i think?) SOOOOā]#AND NOT KAGEYAMA SHIGEO#unless Iām stupid and Iām wrong about that#IN WHICH CASE DO NOT CORRECT ME OR I IWLL CRY I AM A FRAGILE MAN#donāt bully meā¦or correct meā¦or do anything#man Iām so embarrassed still LMAO????#also katsuya ?? my dumb self thought serizawa was also his first name OKAY IM NOT SMART#itās like Edgeworth and Wright but if I believed those were their first names because they only called each other that#Yāknow what I have a few friends who only go by their last names and I like that for him#Reigen just feels right ššššššššššššššš
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Season 8 was like 6 years ago(I feel old) and I know ppl have differing opinions on the Mr Echo thing (but it was intended, made it to storyboard and blocked animation and then dropped, soooo) but. I can see his recruitment p easily tbh. Bc the whole reason Dr J was in that lighthouse was because he was resurrected, forced there, and ordered to build Skulkin vehicles by Samukai. But Samukai in the flashback we see has already been deposed as leader of the Skulkin/Underworld. Which means the orders to do so most likely came from Garmadon.
And since Mr. E is one of the head honchos, he's likely an early arrival to the team, so I don't think Harumi has a whole lot figured out at this point, she's just got her Trauma and some Bad Influence Friends and an obsession with Lord Garmadon. So. Like. Plausible deniability road trip that she's just visiting important markers of Ninjago's recent past, all of which involve Lord Garmadon in some meaningful way; its sightseeing, its cathartic, and it gives her time to develop her dream Motorcycle Gang/Resurrection Cult. She's not looking for anyone at the Lighthouse, but she is looking for vehicle blueprints so she can be the Koolest leader on the block. But oops she looks in the basement and there's an Echo.
And she's flipping out bc??? A Ninja???? In the Lighthouse basement??? I mean it makes sense that it would be this one but???
Except this rusty old robot has no idea what she's talking about with this Ninja stuff, he's just waiting for his dad to come back.
And Harumi pauses.
Because how long has he been waiting? He's not sure, he had no proper way to measure time in the basement, and he doesn't have the best view of his clockwork heartpiece. But it was after his father saw a strange ship docking; Echo was worried it was the People who had locked up his father in the first place, but instead his dad sounded happy when he saw whoever was out there. It could have been a front, though, as clearly it was never safe to let Echo back out. Then Dr J popped down briefly, while everyone above was resting, to tell Echo he was desperately needed elsewhere, that it wasn't safe to bring Echo, but that he'd be back in no time.
And the pieces are fitting together for Harumi. And she's like. Your dad's dead, bro.
And he's like. What? Did he die doing what was needed of him?
And she's like. Oh, no. He died a few years later.
And he's like. Why didn't he come back for me????
And she's like. Probably because they kept him away.
And he's like. Who's they?
And she's like. The Ninja I was talking about earlier.
And it surely can't be hard in universe to find pictures of Zane and Dr J post s2-pre s3, so she pulls one up and shows Echo who is freaking out bc why is that one kind of like him and Harumi explains that that was the droid his father created first, that he became a Ninja, and that hes probably the one who took their father away and kept echo waiting for years.
But Echo has doubts, shocked as he is abt a new older brother, he wants to believe the good in the situation so he's unsure. But Harumi mentions that the Ninja's failures to uphold more than their self preservation/interests has led to uncountable losses and devastation in Ninjago time and time again, before delving into her own story. And she seems so kind, and so hurt, and I do think there's a genuine connection btwn these two that forms from this shared emotional torment that they decide came from the Ninja, and now Echo is more receptive.
And then Harumi gets to start her Garmadon pitch because wait! If Echo was made here, then that could only have happened because of Lord Garmadon. And she reiterates that he's the reason she and her city could have even survived The Great Devourer. And maybe Echo's family-by-creation left, maybe they were untrustworthy and lacking, but that's OK bc if you look at it all a certain way, Garmadon is more of a father to Echo than Dr J was. And Echo is a vulnerable, overwhelmed mess who just found out his dad fucked off for years without him and also died, and also he has a brother??? Who their dad clearly seems to have favored??? Did they even know about Echo??? Did they delight in their life free of him???
Basically. Kinda Spinel-core but getting abandoned and left completely alone does that to you. Especially when the first person to find you after being abandoned is a deeply hurt and misguided teen who is probably kinda desperate for someone, anyone else to see the Ninja the way she sees them.
#i was thinking abt the idea of citrusshipping#and how it could have flowed into Mr Echo. with morro as the vengeful influence tinting these#one sided experiences to associate ninja with loss#but theni was like 'wait a sec tho bc Harumi does that also and its her gang called the sons of garmadon#and if youre very carfeully squinting and cherrypicking out pesky details and nuance. like harumi would be.#echos existence is thanks to Lord Garmadon. and there is no better replacement dad than garmadon. you should be a son of garmadon.#and echo would probably listen and she could get him out the lighthouse and off the island'#and anyway i kinda ship Harumi and Echo now?#i like citrusshipping its funney but i think i actually ship this dynamic now#its. fucked and manipulative but its also like. genuine and just. two scarred young people and harumi gives echo her distorted view#of the world as the gift of her love#so its like she wasnt trying to manipulate echo. not like she was trying to manipulate Lloyd.#but she did take someone in a v fragile state and begin shaping his worldview to match hers. unconciously but still done.#like i can also see her bringing him to the mainland and she and UV and Killow are his tethers which means everything he sees radicalizes#him further...and draws him in closer to the fold#anyway if he and harumi smoochie kiss then shes why he got rebuilt in Crystallized. also i think mr F stands for 'Mr Fun Guy'#echo zane#harumi jade#ninjago harumi#quietmystery?#idk what the ship name would be but im here for it#mr e ninjago#mr echo#echo/harumi#tbh i said i kinda ship it now but it could also be friendship#sons of garmadon#...ok til abt the morro-echo-harumi trio hcs and Yes#this is just more of a like. canon compliant ish take where morro is still gone from the narrative#love the idea of the 3 in a vengeance trio tho
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i swearto god if i have covid again im gonna blow up thjs fuckig planet
#skye's ramblings#IWANTED TO DRAW TODAY BUT NOW IM DYING!!! IS NOTHING EASY#ive only had it once before n it fucked up my sense of taste so bad theres still foods i cant eat anymore. fuuuuucck you#please mr illness guy my heart is a fragile little bitch you gotta go easy on me. plesae
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What is actually happening š Everyone needs to stop overthinking over whatever it is!
Hey! Brains are m e a n okay?! It has been a crappy few days!! We overthinkers KNOW we need to stop overthinking!! its HARD
#i am much better#but am i still unsure about making sure everything is okay because im scared of shattering the fragile peace and fucking it all up#again?#yes#very much so#but itās just#very hard okay
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i'm this close to opening discussion whether (is it possible that) kaiser is a playboy or not
#poponing#seeing how he enjoys feeling superior? this seems highly possible esp in a modelling au etc#BUT this guy also hits me like someone who is married into his job and if the other person doesn't give me the feeling of sueriority#for him in his field then he won't bother (i.e. how he acts @ yoichi & @ others at the beginning aka rizzlord kaiser vs default fridge guy)#kaiser (also sae) where is your back story ln chapter im begging here#okay lets stop here before i go off to some weird tangents. now back to rl business. will prob del later#babblings#also adding another note kaiser does seems to kinda focus on something or someone then appear disinterested in others#also will he even bother making someone feel special?? im asking really at this point im going off on semi baseless assumption#that fragile self image is making me scratching my head#but you know nessāmagic and then kaiserāblue yellowāglass (chain) kinda like a fairytale (cinderella) ok off topic#....okay not gonna del this. this is my personal note#ugh but anyway playboy kaiser...? he really is confusing for me to write now because his facades are so different#and that cold guy part is STILL a facade. what are u kaiser#now back to rl fr
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i need sapphic vampire authors to STOP with the retellings. enough. original characters NOW
#seeing reviews come in about lucy undying and it sounds like it sucks. SIGH#i was wary of it to begin now this just solidified it for me#i want to get this ravenous fate tho im not huge on YA#so i'm waiting for more opinions lol#i still need to pick up fragile animals too
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humans really saw sexual dimorphism and said "hey that's really cool, let's expand on that" and made an artificial version of it (strictly enforced gender roles based on what kind of junk a person is born with) on top of the baseline dimorphism.
#gender#trans#transgender#gnc#gender nonconforming#that should do it for tags. time to ramble#can i just say that this system has gone so far off the edge that if people exhibit even slight deviation from these rigid and miserable#roles that they go through so much scrutiny?#i hate it. even outside of nosy conservatives clutching their pearls#there's so much scrutiny when someone experiments with anything outside of#cookiecutter male or cookiecutter female#even black nail polish which is the most neutral nail color. its still a giant fucking alarm bell#for society. im a closeted transfem and i can't even put on black nail polish without worrying about everyone around me#throwing a tit fit. it should be worrying to everyone that everything is so tightly and ruthlessly gendered.#there's something to be said about exactly how fragile masculinity is (as in literally fragile. even the slightest bit of āfemininityā#causes intense scrutiny)#as much as i am definitely NOT a man I do feel bad for them#they walk such a precarious tightrope and anything āfeminineā can cause society to shame them and shove them back#into that narrow tiny box
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farewell, my idiot sonā¦
#(aka my switchās internals got fried so the repair shop had to format it to revive it: the tragicomedy)#(wait no on further inspection they seemed to have just given up on fixing it and gave me a whole other switch instead. lmao.)#(i wonder what happened to my old switch thoughā¦)#(farewell to all of my save data⦠thank heavens i didnt transfer anything over from past gens of pkmn)#(but aaaaaaaaa this shiny goo was a christmas present from a former acquaintance⦠rip squish you wouldve loved kimikawaii mv)#man⦠these past couple of days have been a *l o t*.#shoutout to [job recruitment company employee] who sent me a āhey the job wants you :)ā message#at the exact same time that i submitted a job application form for another company. it truly was a strange coincidence i thinkā¦#but⦠ehe⦠the⦠the job that wants me is offering $1k more than the monthly base salary i asked for⦠is⦠is this really okā¦?#nothingās confirmed yet. but. yāknow. s t i l l . is it really ok for me to get paid so much for a job that lets me skip the morning commute#and while im still reeling from all of yesterdayās happenings⦠squish my dear shiny goo will never be seen againā¦#switch save system my b e l o a t h e d#so. long story short. take good care of your gadgets and gizmos guys.#then again. maybe im not the best person to say this⦠i mean. iāve bricked like. 3 personal laptops in my lifetimeā¦#and a phone sim card. and 2-3 nokia phones. and 3 android phones. and a tablet. andā#so. yeah. uh. itās a good idea to take care of your stuff. especially if theyāre fragile.#anyway. in memoriam of squish my idiot son im gonna try to find another shiny in sv this time. i hope i can find anotherā¦#but aaaaa the map in sv is pretty huge. um. i got lost like 10 times before even making it to schoolā¦#the friends are all just. so. friend-shaped. though⦠i like the sandwich pal. he has priorities.#looking forward to seeing how this story unfolds thoughh. i saw spoilers on twt but i need to know how the story even unfolds bc aaaa#ok thatās it idol sengen tl is now on an extended hiatus (ch 35 has just 7 pages left to go) till i complete this game. whenever it may be.#see yāall then~~~~~~~~~~~
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my mental health just took a huge beating so i'll be slower to interact again!! might take a bit of a break tbh ^^ i think i wrote more than i should have in such a short period of time.
#my brain is very GO GO GO when it comes to writing#but the treatment for burnouts is not motivation or inspiration#its rest#so i have to go get some of that#my brain feels like mush and my depression symptoms are coming back so#teehee#still tag and ask and interact as normal though i dont want people treating me like im fragile yk!!#i'd rather have the interact rn then have people leave me alone completely if that makes sense#but anyways that my oversharing in the tags moment for today#š! auburn's rambles <3#tw mental health
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