#im sure my parents are gonna wanna go out for dinner tonight too and ill probably still be out of it lmao

[chiimeramanticore]

happy 420 everyone I just took 50mg and I'm ready to see the hat man or whatever it is that happens when you do too much weed

[riveir]

not to be greedy but give me,,all the texts

✆ for a MORNING text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 7:01 am ] morning captain’s practice ran late so i’ve gotta hit the showers and head right to first period. [ sms → astrid sloan , 7:01 am ] which means i’ll miss wishing you luck on that calc exam in person but i didn’t want to miss it entirely. [ sms → astrid sloan , 7:02 am ] you’ve got this! we studied enough for it, and you’re completely prepared. 

✉ for a TEXT THAT WASN’T SENT.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 3:23 pm ] my mom just called and said her and my dad won’t be back until late tonight. [ sms → astrid sloan , 3:23 pm ] do you want to come over? maybe stay for dinner? the house is feeling especially empty. this place is too big to be left alone in.

☎ for a RUSHED text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 10:07 pm ] i’m coming i’m sorry i know it’s taking longer than i said it would [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:07 pm ] there’s a ton of people back here and teachers and stuff who are trying to catch all of us after the show and congratulate us [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:08 pm ] principal vaughn wants to chat but if you wanna just go ahead i won’t blame you i can stop by when i’m out of here or i can just see you tomorrow whatever’s easiest [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:08 pm ] i’m sorry again but thank you so much for coming i really appreciate it i know it was kinda long but it means a lot to me!!

⁇ for a DRUNK text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 11:19 pm ] lax party getting out of hand [ sms → astrid sloan , 11:19 pm ] no danger just crazy [ sms → astrid sloan , 11:20 pm ] no driving for me tonigt i think im gonna walk home ill can see u tomorrrow

✿ for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 5:27 pm ] i'm just getting out of practice now and my parents are gonna be out until late [ sms → astrid sloan , 5:27 pm ] i just have to take a quick shower, but if you want to come over later and hang out you’re more than welcome to [ sms → astrid sloan , 5:28 pm ] or you could come over now rather than wait, of course ;)

ø for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 2:28 am ] i can’t sleep and i think part of it is because i feel guilty about this student body president thing. [ sms → astrid sloan , 2:28 am ] shouldn’t i be trying to make impressions with these colleges based on things i’m actually passionate about? something that has meaning to me? [ sms → astrid sloan , 2:29 am ] besides, there are people who this stuff actually really matters to. why should i threaten to take that away from them? [ sms → astrid sloan , 2:29 am ] i know you won’t see these until morning. but i had to get it off my chest, if just in hopes that it’ll help me get to sleep.

✘ for a HATEFUL text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 6:46 pm ] i know i don’t usually say things like this, and i don’t like to speak this way, but the way some people treat others at our school is disgusting. [ sms → astrid sloan , 6:47 pm ] that kid that lives over on hermosa, in our world history class? i was leaving our game and i just saw a couple kids on the football team picking on him and saying some pretty awful things about him and his family. [ sms → astrid sloan , 6:47 pm ] it’s hard enough for kids our age to make meaningful friendships in today’s society without this divisive culture of privilege our school perpetuates. [ sms → astrid sloan , 6:48 pm ] anyways i stopped to check on him and chat for a few minutes so that’s why i’m running a little late. i’ll be over soon.

# for a RANDOM text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 11:07 am ] starbucks or dunkin this morning? [ sms → astrid sloan , 11:07 am ] i’ll stop for coffees on my way to pick you up, we can take it to the beach with us.

@ for a SCARED text. 

[ sms → astrid sloan , 12:17 am ] just checking in - haven’t heard from you tonight and i know you said you were on your own. [ sms → astrid sloan , 12:17 am ] i’m just getting back from that fundraiser with my parents, if you need anything give me a call.

& for a LOVING text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 8:32 pm ] we just landed from italy.  [ sms → astrid sloan , 8:32 pm ] i can’t wait to see you :) i really missed you while we were away. [ sms → astrid sloan , 8:33 pm ] i thought about you all the time and how i wished you were there and all the things we could’ve been doing together.

% for a CURIOUS text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 1:52 pm ] did you ever surf competitively? [ sms → astrid sloan , 1:53 pm ] i know you take lessons still but i was just thinking and i realized i don’t think i’ve ever asked.

ツ for an EXCITED text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 10:24 pm ] good news - parents okayed renting that beach house for a weekend :) [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:24 pm ] if you’re still up for it, of course. no pressure, just wanted you to know they agreed and offered to cover it - as a birthday present.

$ for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 5:35 pm ] i didn’t realize you and dad were going out again, but next time maybe you could give me a call instead of leaving a note on the counter? i was kind of counting on us all having dinner tonight and i thought it would’ve been good for all of us to be together.

♀ for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[ sms → astrid sloan , 10:57 pm ] i’m still so sorry that you found out that way. [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:57 pm ] but i’m not sure i would’ve ever been able to tell anyone if it wasn’t just a spur of the moment kind of thing. [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:58 pm ] even thinking of telling just you was terrifying. [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:58 pm ] i was so scared of what anyone would say - not just you. [ sms → astrid sloan , 10:58 pm ] i can’t help feeling like i let you down, though. and i’m really, truly sorry.

text messages meme / accepting!

[fruit-teeth]

Dumpster Diving (part 10)

Dee curled her little hand into a fist while she sucked away on her new pacifier, and Sniper couldn’t help but smile down at her.

“Do you like it, Dee?” He rubbed her cheek gently. “Sure was nice of Angelica to get that for you, huh?”

Dee only babbled and stretched her arms in response, and Sniper mused aloud, “I wonder when you’re finally gonna talk,”

She stared to squirm and make unhappy sounds, so Sniper laid her in her playpen and turned the TV on.

Sniper heard the sounds of footsteps heading towards the doorway, and he assumed it was Scout at first, so he began, “There’s a baseball game on if you wanted to watch that,”

“Thanks, but I’m not too interested in baseball right now,” a familiar, feminine voice behind him replied, and Sniper turned around in surprise.

Miss Pauling entered, and she stopped, surveying the scene before her. Her eyes landed on Dee in the playpen, and she turned back to Sniper.

“So,” she took a breath, resting her hands in her dress pockets. “When were you planning on telling me about this?”

Sniper fell silent. A knot of worry formed in his gut, and he swallowed. “I...I...I thought Engie was going to tell you,”

“Well, he didn’t,” Miss Pauling answered. “I had to find out from Scout, after I asked him what his mother was doing on the base. He said she was acting as a baby sitter for your child,” she looked back at Dee in the playpen, eyeing her with slight confusion. “I didn’t even realize you were seeing anyone. Is the mother around?”

Sniper let this question process, and then he quickly clarified, “Oh, no, she’s not mine. I mean...she is, but not blood-related. I found her, she’d been abandoned,”

Pauling just nodded. “Ah, I see,” she sat on the couch beside Sniper, crossing one leg over the other. “Can you tell me what you did after you found her? Did you try calling anyone?”

“No,” Sniper started feeling uneasy.

“Not even the Teufort orphanage? Anyone?”

Sniper couldn’t take it anymore, and he blurted out, “Aw, hell! Why in God’s name would I take her to the Teufort orphanage!? To be raised by a bunch of damn lunatics in a place where she probably won’t ever be adopted by anyone, and then they’ll kick her on the street when she’s 18!? Is that what you want!?”

Pauling put her hands up defensively. “Hey, hey! I never said I wanted that, okay?” She sighed. “Listen, I’m just saying that it was a little irresponsible to just take her, even if she was abandoned,”

“She was in a damn dumpster,”

“I know,”

“She was malnourished when I found her,”

“Sniper, please listen to me,” Pauling pleaded. “Look, I’ll let you keep her,”

There was a pause, and Sniper spoke back up, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes, but under one condition,” she stated. “If you’ll let me check the recent birth registry in Teufort, so we can find a potential mother,”

Sniper chewed on his lip, looking towards Dee. After a moment, he took a breath. “Okay, but the mum probably doesn’t want her back,”

“I know, if she abandoned the baby in a dumpster she probably doesn’t,” Pauling agreed. “But it’s the right thing to do. You also need to sign official adoption papers, but I can help you with that,”

“Okay,” Sniper swallowed, looking away.

Dee started to whimper in her playpen, and Sniper rose up to pick her up. He settled back on the couch with Dee in his arms, and she grabbed the collar of his shirt into her tiny fist, looking up at him.

Pauling leaned in a bit, looking at Dee’s face. After a moment, she commented, “She’s really pretty,”

“Yeah,” Sniper agreed, smoothing a hand over the small head. Demo had been right, Dee’s hair was coming in thick and dark.

“What’s her name?”

“I’ve been callin’ her Dee,” Sniper responded. “Not short for anything, I just liked the sound of it,”

Dee’s pacifier fell out of her mouth, and she started to whine in panic. Sniper retrieved it and quickly gave it back to her. “Oops. Here ya go, beastie,”

As Dee began sucking on the pacifier again, Pauling commented, “You’re really good with her,”

Sniper smiled. “Ah, thank you,” he adjusted his grip on the infant, and then turned to Pauling. “You wanna hold her?”

Pauling hesitated, and then held her arms out. “Uh...sure,”

Sniper gently placed Dee in Pauling’s arms, and Pauling held Dee for maybe a few seconds before handing her back over to Sniper.

“Um, I’m sorry,” Pauling retracted her arms, staring back down at Dee. “I’m not that comfortable holding kids, uh...”

“That’s okay,” Sniper assured. “I didn’t used to be that good with kids either, ‘least I never thought I was. Never really spent that much time with ‘em, y’know?”

“Oh, I spent so much time around little kids when I was a teenager,” Pauling sighed. “By that logic, I should love them, but I really...don’t,” she laughed a little. “My mom ran a daycare out of our house when I was younger,”

Sniper glanced up, surprised. “Really? Wow. What was that like?”

Pauling groaned. “It was like having little brothers and sisters constantly. I mean, I didn’t seen them a lot since I was at school, but they’d leave their toys everywhere and they’d get into my stuff. One time, some of the kids got finger paint on my old typewriter, and I got so angry that I told my mom I would move out if she kept letting the kids near my stuff,”

“Wow. Did you?”

“No. Well, not then. I moved out a couple years later but...” she trailed off, suddenly getting quiet. “I got kicked out...because of...stuff,”

“Oh,” there was a silence, and Sniper patted her hand gently. “I’m sorry to hear that,”

“It’s okay,” Pauling assured. “It was a long time ago. I haven’t seen my parents since,” she cleared her throat, looking back at Dee. “Anyway, I think it’s really interesting that you adopted a baby you found,”

Sniper raised an eyebrow. “Interesting? Why is it interesting?”

“Well...I mean, you were adopted,” Pauling shrugged. “I just think it’s cool that you adopted a kid yourself, years later,”

“I...” Sniper looked down at Dee. “Yeah...you’re right. Huh,” he hadn’t thought about that.

Pauling sniffed, standing up. “Oh, I almost forgot: I’m taking you guys out for dinner tonight at the diner, I hope that’s okay,”

“Yeah,” Sniper replied, letting Dee grab his finger. “Yeah, that’s fine. Can I bring Dee?”

“Of course,” Pauling nodded, smoothing her dress out before leaving the room. “I didn’t think you’d leave her behind here, anyway,”

“Yeah,”

As Pauling left the room, Sniper brought Dee up to his shoulder and hugged her close. “Yeah, Dee, I’d never leave you behind,” he murmured, rubbing her back lovingly. “Don’t worry,”

Dee cooed around her pacifier into Sniper’s ear, and Sniper planted a tiny kiss on her cheek.

[y0u-aint-shit-t0-m3]

Journal entries

December 11th 2018

I see no point in anything anymore, i am so lonely and sad. No one likes me and no one cares for me. I get myself into situations that i can't get out out of. I act out on the ones who love me, they shouldn't forgive me, but they do anyways.. 

I am just a big problem and i am misunderstood. No one knows how i feel half the time, it's so hard to describe. I feel like I couldn't be fixed even if i tired. 

I am so unmotivated and lazy, i try to get things done but i get to distracted and pulled into a cold spiral of depression or anxiety. It's hard to do anything now, i am so scared that i will never be good enough or i wont get into college or even get through this year alone.

I need to stop going to others for my own happiness and find it myself. I need to stop getting into relationships just to not feel lonely.  

My grades are dropping and i will never get anywhere, all my teachers and friends are disappointed in me and they also think i wont get anywhere either. 

Everyone is always worried about me because they think i will cut myself again or try and kill myself. I don't want to die i just want to be happy and be normal. 

I’m sick and tired of being so problematic and always sad or tired. But i am always sad and tired and i don't know what to do about it. 

I am always so paranoid and it's scary because sometimes i dont know whats real and whats not, sometimes i feel like i'm almost lucid dreaming or in a movie or something. I feel like i'm drifting and something is pulling me back and they won't let go. My mind gets all blurry and i can't focus, i feel like still things are moving on their own. 

I feel exhausted on days where i've had a good night's rest, i just dont want to feel like this anymore, it's a living hell. I want to be free from this feeling.. 

February 27th 2019

it’s a new year.. i thought things would get better but they have gotten worse. i’ve got a new therapist and she’s not helping. i’ve been cutting a lot lately and i’m very scared. sunday i cut very deep, there was a lot of blood. i felt nauseous and sick and the thing that scares me the most is that i thought i was done, i thought that i was gonna bleed out and hours later when it was about dinner time my parents would find me dead. but that didn’t happen i’m here and i’m alive. something that makes me terrified is that the one thing that i go to for release isn’t giving me that adrenaline and satisfaction that i’ve felt before and now i sit here and ask myself what am i gonna go to next, and i’m gonna go to hard drugs or even worse.. suicide.. i don’t want to die but the thing is that i black out when i cut and what if i was to cut to deep and actually bleed out and die. i don’t want that to happen.

while i type this i’m very scared and anxious, i’ve never thought that it would get like this. i would never think i would find myself in my room scared and out of control of my actions with harming myself. just one little accident and it would be all over. i could do it now but i don’t want to. i don’t want to ever die. i need to get my shit together, i know what i need to do to feel happy again but i don’t want to. saddens has consumed me and it’s so damn comfortable. i need to get my shit together, maybe tomorrow maybe in five years but i guess for now i will fake it.

2021 January 13th

I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm in such a deep depression I'm so tired and so exhausted and miserable. The only good thing I have going is my relationship and friends which I good but I want my home life to be okay. I could give a fuck less about school or anything really just so I can feel at home again so I can be happy. Its sucks because I  Rely so much on other people's emotions for my own. I can't be happy if everyone else isn't and i wanna fix it I wanna fix the way I feel but how do I do that when no body is listening. I'm 17, I don't have my license or a job, how am I suppose to find tools without having other tools. I need a therapist but they are so backed up even if I do put in an application for one ill be at the bottom of the list and it'll be probably a good month before I get one. I don't know what to do anymore.

February 22 2021 

I get it not everything is resolved around me, but what's it going to take for someone to notice I am so fucking alone, that I am constantly fighting with myself constantly fighting to stay alive, always wondering what I'm doing wrong always thinking everyone hates me. It fuckinh exhausting I am so fucking tired I let everyone walk all over me always taking advantage of my empathy. What is wrong with me what am I doing wrong for people to not like me, I hate the fake excuses to not talk to me, I hate the snarky comments and all the glares. I feel like im sinking and everyone else around me is swimming everyone else is floating along while I'm drowning I'm trying to hard to stay up above the water what I know how easy it would be to sink, I want to sink. But what's going to happen if I do sink, will I swim with the fish or will I be eaten up by the sharks. Will this ever end, will I ever stay afloat. Will I ever find the confidence or the strength or the tools to stay alive. 

April 11th 2021 

Yesterday you expressed to me that your not sure if you want to be with me and how I am pretty to much for you and your not sure if you want a relationship, we laid down and after a couple minutes I told you that 2 years ago today you first told me you loved me which was kinda ironic considering the circumstances. We then had sex, which I insisted only because I knew it would make everything better. You wanted me to go to a party that I really didn't wanna go to but I went because I knew if I didn't I had really lost you. You said so many different things that night how you know  you love me and how you care about me but how your mindset tells you otherwise and how you're not attached to me as much as I am to you. You left this morning and I texted you and asked how your day was and ypu ignored me. You said you are going to take me out to eat tonight but I just have this gut feeling that either 1 it's not going to happen or 2 it will and it'll be the last time I see you. I don't know if I can get past this, it hurts way to much. You're my best friend my person love I don't want to lose you I don't want to be alone I don't want to see you with other people. It's Hurts so much and I try and say it's my fault that it hurts so much because I overthink so much and that I just can't except love but I can but I say it's my fault so you won't leave. What else am I going to justify so you won't leave. I can't keep doing this. Maybe its just right person wrong timing, or maybe im just too fucked up to be loved by anyone. And the sad thing is If thinking about you and replaying our memories in my head is the closest thing to having you then I’ll do it no matter what . I’d drop everything to spend time with you but you wouldn’t do the same for me.

June 21st 2021 

God what has happened. I've repressed to my old feelings, old playlist, old memories etc.. suicide has been heavy on my brain the past few days, same with self harm and just leaving everything behind and leaving. I feel so lost and helpless and confused into why I am feeling like this again. I cried the other day, the same kind of cry a baby cries when it misses its mother. I have this thought in my head running back and forth of wether I'm okay or I'm not. I'm constantly catching myself spacing off into old memories, like 8th grade. The feeling of being so numb and so tired that nothing could ever fix this feeling like I am so comfortable and so certain that I'm going to feel like this forever. I feel like a zombie. I feel bored. I feel useless. I feel tired, not the sleep tired. Just tired. Tired of pushing and pulling. My brain feels like mush. My body feels heavy and weightless at the same time. My chest feels tight and my eyes feel heavy. I feel comfortably miserable. I miss when I never had to give a shit about anything like school and work and dissipating people. I've done so good lately and held my shit together so well and it's so surprising because deep down I am screaming and begging for a break for someone to say it's okay to feel like shit and have them not be disappointed in me for falling apart. I think about the day I'll let someone read these entries, I think about the day that I'm completely giving up and I release these all over social media. I know that sounds desperate but maybe someone would read these and think maybe there not alone. I feel like I would scare everyone if they knew how I felt. I wonder what I'm feeling is valid of bullshit or maybe its just my hormones or seasonal depression. Or maybe it's just my day to day life. Something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. (Keyword maybe means yes it's your everyday life) 

June 22nd 2021 

We're on a "break". I don't even know how to feel, I should be crying right now begging you to not leave and to love me and to just change. But I'm not, I'm so calm and unbothered and just numb. I'm so fucking numb. It's like I don't even care it's like im already over it. I guess I wasn't surprised. I don't really have much to say. But I can say this is going to hit me like a train. One little thing, and I think I'm going to snap. 

September 8th 2021

I don't think I can keep doing this anymore, I don't think I can keep fighting. I don't want to, I don't want to deal with these feelings. I can't remember the last time I actually felt okay. I want to feel normal again. I am losing myself. I am losing my mind and I am trying so fucking hard to hold on. I feel like a prop in some shitty movie. I feel like I'm just a background character, if that makes any sense. I am constantly scared, I am constantly having these thoughts of hurting myself. I keep dreaming of better days but everyday is just a nightmare. I  think of admitting myself somewhere, like sending myself away. Somewhere where I don't have to worry about this shit. Somewhere safe, somewhere there are people like me and understand me.

September 15 2021

I  find myself thinking about sending myself away, not because i need to just because i want to. I guess you could say “ need in one hand and want in the other and see which one fills up faster” but i honestly have come to the point where nothing feels real anymore, nothing feels good anymore. Everything hurts everything is scary and everything is unfair. Life is so unfair. Its even worse that i continuously have shitty things happen to me. I have so much untreated trauma that i think im coming to the point where i dont care anymore. I dont care about anything. I don't feel like existing, trying, dealing or fuckinh anything. I can't feel anything, I am so numb. Numb to my core. I am so desperate to feel better. I am going to feel like this forever, I am always going to be a broken person with a broken heart with a broken mindset. 

[warmau]

aah I really like your recent seventeen neighbour au! can you do that for the rest of the members too? if that's too much then just wonwoo, soonyoung, and seungcheol. Thank you!

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~

Wonwoo

relatively keeps to himself, is the kind of mysterious neighbor that no one really knows much about 

sometimes kids are afraid of him because he has a really deadpan expression so the moms are always like “wonwoo-ah ,,,,, please smile? it’s so nice out!!”

but he ends up just getting embarrassed and then asking mingyu when they hangout at a cafe like “kids never let me pat their heads,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,am i scary?”

and mingyu is like uh WELL,,,,,,,,,,,,

but in reality wonwoo is a sweethearted angel. like he picks up litter if he sees it around the apartment building and always offers to hold groceries for any of the elder neighbors 

also he always gets cutely startled when another neighbor’s dog comes over to him and sniffs him or barks in greeting and he’s like !!!!! usually ends up dropping whatever he’s holding

and he looks down at the little like ??? pomeranian and is like “so,,,,,scary,,,,”

and the owner is like omg,,,,,,,,,,,no they’re not scary they’re cute do you wanna pet them??? and wonwoo is like NO ,,, no ,,,,thank you i gtg

his apartment is really clean and well kept,,,,,,he has this vintage looking record player and collects mostly older jazz stuff that’s soothing and sometimes even a lil sad

when his friends come over they’re always like “dude,,,,,,,do you have any records from like pop groups???” and wonwoo just blinks and is like “why would i have that,,,,,,i listen to records before i sleep i don’t think i could fall asleep to snsd’s ‘party’,,,,,,”

he’s also a big fan of blankets and has them everywhere so he can fall asleep anywhere he pleases: the living room, the bedroom, the goddamn kitchen -

doesn’t really decorate his walls but has a photo of parents and brother in the hallway and every morning he waves goodbye to it before he leaves,,,,,it’s cute

and you have seen wonwoo before, mostly in passing. he never really looks up from his phone or book so it’s more like passing a ghost than anything

until one day you’re both on the floor at the same time and as you unlock your door, you take a step in until you look back and see that,,,,,,,,,,,

wonwoo is staring at his door and you’re like ?????? what’s he doing

and then you see him literally fall forward with his forehead against the door and you’re like IS HE OK and you’re hesitant but you call out like “everything alright???”

and wonwoo turns his head and he’s like ,,,,,,, “i don’t have my keys,,,,,,,im locked out.”

and you’re like ,,,,,,did you,,,,,,,forget them inside??? and he nods,,,,shamefully looking at the floor and you’re like oh,,,,,unsure of what to do

but then you hear it. a growl. 

a stomach growl

and you can’t help but laugh and wonwoo puts a hand shyly over his shirt and he’s like “e-excuse me,,,” but you’re like “if you’re hungry you can come over, im just making ramen tonight so?” 

and wonwoo is shy, he’d usually probably decline because he doesn’t want to bother you but then he hears his stomach growl again and he knows mingyu (who has a spare to his apartment) is gonna take like 2 hours to get here

so he nods and you grin, telling him not to be shy and come over.

and once you’re inside, wonwoo sitting awkwardly at your kitchen table you’re like “so,,,,,while the water is boiling - tell me about yourself.”

and wonwoo is like “there’s not much,,,,,” and he tells you that he has a brother, he likes to listen to music, write lyrics sometimes,,,,,and he’s kinda like “im sorry im boring” and you’re like no not at all and once the ramen is done you guys keep like talking

and wonwoo is a little reserved, obviously you guys are strangers basically, but you keep listening with enthusiasm and you smile when he attempts a joke and ask him more about himself

and unlike most people you’re not,,,,,,,making some comment about how he looks angry or tired. you’re just,,,,,,,genuinely listening and it’s been a long time since wonwoo has met someone new who didn’t right away seem judgmental of how kind of simple he is about most things

and once he realizes that mingyu is calling him to let him know he’s here, wonwoo is kind of upset that he has to leave the conversation,,,,,

but you tell him that it was nice talking and he thanks you for the food and when he meets mingyu out in the hall

mingyu is like nudging wonwoo and he’s like “that neighbor you were with - they’re cute.” and wonwoo is like “oh,,,,yeah they are,,,,,and they’re nice,,,”

and mingyu’s like wiggling his eyebrows and he’s like “did you just call someone nice,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmm i thought you weren’t a people person,,,,”

and wonwoo is like GIVE me the spare keys mingyu

and mingyu is like “go ask the neighbor on a date and i will.” and wonwoo is like m I NG Yu,,,,,,,but mingyu won’t let up because he’s like c’mon i know you think they’re cute 

so when you hear a knock on your door and open it, wonwoo is biting his lip but he’s also like “not,,,,not to be weird but are you free this weekend? i just want to get to know you more so we can get coffee,,,,,,,if this isn’t awkward,,,,”

and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,you’re flattered and you’re like sure!!! and wonwoo is like ,,,,,,,,well in shock because you agreed but also blushing because wow,,,,,,,he actually got a date with you,,,,,,

and you exchange a time and place and you smile before closing the door and wonwoo swears his heart beats a bit faster

but then he hears mingyu’s voice like GET IT BRO and wonwoo is like “give me the spare this time or eLSE-”

Hoshi

always running out of his apartment because he seemingly is late no matter what???

like no matter how many alarm clocks he sets,,,,,,he leaves his house juggling his keys, his bus pass, his jacket, his water ,,,,,, and his hair looks like it has never seen a brush in it’s life

he always ends up forgetting something too. usually it’s literally he forget to lock the door to his apartment 

but this is his charm!!!! all the older people are like “he’s such a youthful young boy full of energy!” and all the kids think he’s super cool because he dances and does taekwondo 

and also hoshi has this bad habit of listening to music way too loud in his headphones so if you’re on the elevator with him you’re sure to be hearing shinee’s 1of1 album blasting through the small space 

and speaking of shinee, hoshi looks up to them so much he has their poster up on his wall. well he has a lot of stuff on his wall from the medals he’s won in taekwondo, to bizarre polaroid photos of seokmin and minghao, to autographs he’s gotten from famous choreographers he’s met

and his wall is a mess, so is his floor and bed. like there’s training clothes everywhere and his bed is never made and the only saving grace is the can of febreeze he got from mingyu as a gift on secret santa 

his refrigerator is just big bottles of water and frozen sushi he got from the grocery store and like no one understands what in the world he’s living off??? maybe he’s running off energy from the sun??? who knows

and you know hoshi, it’s impossible not to with his crazy bedhead and his singing outloud to ‘sherlock’ habit

and you guys are friends, not like super close but you know enough to talk in the hall and one day as you’re talking you mention you just beat your highscore in ‘just dance’ on this song by usher

and hoshi’s like “that’s your highest score? i could crush you if that’s your best.” and you’re like OH WANNA BET 

and hoshi is like hell yeah i wanna bet come over and ill show you how a pro does it

and so you end up sitting on his couch (which he had to clean, there were chip bags and notebooks on it) watching hoshi turn on his wii and before starting the game he turns around to give you a grin and you’re like PFFT you’ll never beat my score

but ,,,,,,,,,,you are wrong. he beats your score. that and also,,,,,,you’ve never seen such a good dancer in your life

BUT ARE YOU GONNA ADMIT THAT ? NO WE DON’T LOSE IN THIS HOUSE

so you get up there and you bust out everything you have and hoshi is like OOOOOOO you look serious,,,,but it won’t be enOUGh

and by the end of it you’re huffing and puffing but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU GET A HIGHER SCORE

and you’re like AYEEEEE I WON GIVE ME THOSE 50 BUCKS WE BET

and hoshi is staring at the TV with his jaw on the floor but then he’s smiling and he’s like “you’re so cool!!!!!!!! you actually beat me!!!!!” and he high-fives you because tbh he’s competitive but like,,,,,,,he’s also a sweet guy

and you’re like ohg;ldskgfh,,,,,i did,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and hoshi is like “i don’t have fifty bucks on me, but i do have enough to take you out to dinner? it’ll be japanese take out though,,,,,” and you’re like LOL that’s fine. free food = good prize

and hoshi like offers out his hand and he’s like “shall i escort you to the five star restaurant than?” and he’s got this mock british accent but you’re laughing and you take his hand 

and you only blush when you realize that you guys are still holding hands as you leave the building and go up the street,,,,,,,,,,,,

and maybe you blush even more when hoshi is like “doesn’t this kinda feel like a first date?” right in front of the cashier at the takeout place and you’re like SHUT

but he’s just grinning and you’re like,,,,,,,what is going on

and hoshi is like “i figured just dinner isn’t enough so, ill add another thing to your prize.” and you’re like what is it??” 

and then he like pokes his cheek and is like “this date with me~~~~” and you’re like never do aegyo again but omg you’re cute,,,,,,,

Seungcheol 

casanova of your apartment building 

winks and uses the same “you look like a flower every time i see you, but this time - you’re in full bloom~” line on everyone,,,,,,,,,and when i mean everyone i M E A N E V E R y o n E

even the dogs that live in the building ,,,, like there’s a lady with a little chihuahua on the second floor and after telling the lady she looks ten years younger than before, seungcheol like calls the dog a beauty and wow is that dog blushing?????? probably 

he’s kind of a really popular guy,,,,like to the point that people will wait outside your building and be like “does seungcheol really live here??? i heard he’s so handsome you can’t look him straight in the eyes,,,,,,,”

but in reality,,,,,, his apartment is just the most least romantic thing ever LOL

like there’s just sports equipment, sports magazines, and empty water bottles everywhere ,,,,,,, and his laundry pile is so big it’s threatening to fall over,,,,,,, and like the only thing he has for decoration in his whole apartment is like a picture frame he got as a housewarming gift from seungkwan but ,,,,,, there’s no picture in it

and like he’s lucky because he has a balcony he can go out onto but on it is his bike that takes up half the space and dying plants he never takes care of

and he’s so,,,,,,,like well-kept when he leaves the house but then he comes home and throws everything off and like literally rolls into bed or plays video games in just his sweatpants

and you know more than anyone else how the ‘suave and cool’ seungcheol really is because you’ve been friends since before you were neighbors

and you’re always over at his place sitting on his balcony and just talking (mostly gossiping because seungcheol actually has a LOT to say and the view from the balcony is nice)

and sometimes you come over and trip over like a jumprope he left on the floor and the only reason those plants on his balcony are not DEAD but definitely close is because you water them when you drop by LOL

and seungcheol tries to bribe you to do his laundry but you flick his forehead and you’re like “no. im not your maid. get joshua to do it.”

and one day you come over and you’re like ,,,,,, seungcheol your apartment is negative ten degrees” and seungcheol

who is sitting on his couch in a literal down coat is like “yeah i forgot to pay the heating bill.”

and you’re like OH MY GOD but you’re also like get up loser you can spend the night at my place and not die here like a human icicle 

and seungcheol is like like i love you you’re my everything my SAVIOR

and you’re like SAVE IT DO NOT GREASE ME

so seungcheol ends up in your living room on your couch instead and you’re like ok goodnight and seungcheol is like “hEY,,,,,since im here let’s watch a scary movie or something” and you’re like dude we’re not kids this isn’t a sleepover your dumb butt literally didn’t pay- and seungcheol is like fine fine you’re scared I GET IT

and you pause because exCUSE me who did you call scared???? move over

and you plop down next to him and pick the scariest movie you can find and you’re like “first one to scream is a big loser - ok?” and seungcheol is like “when in my life have i ever screamed? you’re on”

but halfway through,,,,like you aren’t even paying attention because you’re sitting under the same blanket as seungcheol and like his arm is practically around your waist and your thighs are touching and he’s really big and warm

and you’re tired,,,,,,you had a long day and before you know it you’re knocked out. like what movie? what bet? ZZZZ time

and seungcheol notices, and he’s like oh they’re asleep,,,,,he should move so you can lay down

but as he’s watching your face illuminated only by the light of the TV like ,,,,,, seungcheol notices finally just how nice your features are

and you two have been friends for like ever,,,,, but he’s never quite looked at you and taken it all in,,,,,,,,and somehow now that he is

seungcheol is like ,,,,,, oh god ,,,,,,,, you’re cute

and not only that???? you literally have saved his ass so many times from bringing him actual food when he forgot to grocery shop, to helping him get hotpacks when he pulled his shoulder, to now,,,,,,when he found himself freezing in his own apartment like YOU saved him

and leaning down he brushes some hair from your face and he’s like,,,,, you know what im not gonna move

and instead moves a bit so your head falls on his shoulder more comfortably and he moves the blanket off himself so it’s covering all of you

and he falls asleep too,,,,,,,,,with the movie still playing

and in the morning you open your eyes and you’re like wow my mattress is so warm but broad and oooo it’s moving

but then you look down and oh hey there seungch- WHAT

and you want to jump up and be like WHAT IS GOING ON but seungcheol lazily opens one eye and is like “go back to sleep,,,,,,,”

and for some reason nothing feels wrong about this,,,it’s surprising but not wrong,,,,,,,,

so you just shrug and go back to sleep as you feel seungcheols arms wrap tighter around you

and oh my god isn’t the best friends to lovers cliche amazing,,,,,,it really is hehe