#im too shy to ask any of my mutuals do i will merely ask my irl ........ IDHWIWHWIFJSK

[maidenkissed]

# 𝑴𝑨𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑵𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺𝑬𝑫 is a 𝐛.𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐣𝐨 𝐬.𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐬.𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐦.𝐨𝐨𝐧 roleplay blog for 𝐡.𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐬  /  written by jenny ( 25+ ; she/her ) ✧ low activity due to life. established in february 2024. originally a sideblog, but now remade into a real blog on june 2024.

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥: ragingfists​​  ✧ asphodelius​​ ✧ ednaeflowers 

𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬: lunarnoire ✧ parallelunarian 

✧ about/verses/headcanons + relations ✧ i like both the 90s anime and the manga, but my portrayal will be based off the manga.

i ran out of free carrds and i don't have carrd pro plan, so my rules are underneath:

𝟎𝟏. → 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆.

✧ I tend to be shy with following first, but I typically follow upon interest.

✧ I only ask of a detailed about page for me to grasp a general idea of your OC. 

✧ I unfollow as I see fit. It’s usually because people didn’t really interact with me, or they were inactive for a really long time. If I unfollowed by accident, I will refollow you and IM you a message of apology.

𝟎𝟐. → 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 & 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘.

✧ This is merely a hobby, so please don’t pressure / rush me with replies. Little reminders = okay! I am an art graduate trying to pursue work in the illustration field, in between a process of doing art commissions and finding jobs to apply for (as of 2024). As such, I am a private and low-activity blog.

✧ I track #𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 in case you tagged me in something! If you want to start interacting, you are absolutely free to tag me in a starter or send an ask! (ノ*゜▽゜*)

𝟎𝟑. → 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 & 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆.

✧ Please trim your replies. If you don’t have xkit, then I can do it for you.

✧ I answer all in-character asks on a new separate text post in case you ever want to continue the interaction as a thread. I absolutely do not mind if you want to continue them!! In fact, I highly encourage it!!! 💗 

✧ You can format however way you like; I don't mind how you format as long as I can still read it. I also format my replies because it’s what I’m comfortable with doing. Please go with whatever you’re comfortable with too! However, if you specifically state on your rules that you do not like small text due to eye concerns, I will understand and refrain from using it to accommodate.

✧ While I do not mind how you format your text, I do mind what size icons you use. If you use inconsistently-sized and uncropped screencaps that stretch out to the full size of the post, or if you use large gifs in your replies, I will be less inclined to follow you since I prefer my dash to be orderly and neat.

✧ No godmodding, please.

𝟎𝟒. → 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆.

✧ I will be honest: I cannot see H.elios being shipped with anyone who is not C.hibiusa. That aside, please don’t worry because I will not and never forceship on you if you roleplay C.hibiusa. H.elios is fond of her and has kissed her before in canon material, but I will not force random romance on you unless we both mutually agree to ship them. I firmly respect it if my roleplay partners do not ship what I ship.

✧ Once I ship H.elios in one verse, I will not ship him with anyone else in that same verse.

𝟎𝟓. → 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑.

✧ I’m open to having mains, exclusives, and ship exclusives! I’m willing to be mains with anyone I’ve interacted IC with at least 3 times, but I prefer close friends I talk with often for exclusives + ship exclusives. 

✧ For triggers and warnings, I would really appreciate it if you guys tag:

tw; bees (irl)

tw; body harm / tw; body injury / tw; stitches (irl for all three)

tw; spiders (irl)

tw; gore (irl)

any NSFW material.

I am fine with everything above if it's fictional within animanga and video games, though. If you have any triggers and warnings mentioned on your blog, I’ll be using 3 different tags just in case. They are:

tw example

tw; example

example //

✧ Regarding duplicates: I will not follow any duplicates, but I will make sure to peacefully stay in my own lane and mind my own business. Due to past fandom experiences, I just want to have a quiet, peaceful, and fun time when I’m on this blog. If anything, I’m glad lots of people love H.elios because he deserves love! If you’re a multi-muse with H.elios in your roster, I will follow back if you have other muses I can work with. Due to sour past experiences, all I ask is that you respect my decision to not interact with your H.elios muse. 🙇♀💦

𝟎𝟔. → 𝐓𝐘𝐒𝐌 ♡

THANK YOU IF YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR!!!!! I’m not new to the RP community, so I know that people have rules for a reason. I’m honestly just here to have a good time, so I’ll assume that you have read over my rules at some point, and that’s good enough for me. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to interactions with you! ♡♡

𝟎𝟕. → 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

Hello! I go by Jenny, my pronouns are she / her, and I’m currently a 20+ year old illustrator. Nice to meet you! As an illustrator, I like to draw in my spare time, so please don’t expect me to be here on H.elios often. I may be slow, but I will try my best to get back to any interactions we will have! If it is needed, my timezone is PST. My activity for H.elios will most likely be extremely casual and lowkey, so if you ever need to contact me for anything, Edna is my most active blog to find me. 

My discord is a private discord for all of my friends, not just roleplay partners, so I don't really hand it out first. If you want to add me to chat OOC, please just ask me! I usually say yes because I like making new friends 🤍 Sometimes, if you interact with me via Tumblr IM, I might not answer back immediately since I am not always on this account. Due to adult life, I don’t think I will ever be too active on this site tbh, but if you don’t mind that, then I’d be happy to rp with you! Sorry in advance! 🙇‍♀️💦

𝟎𝟖. → 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓.

I used all official artworks to make my graphics. Of course, those are © to Naoko Takeuchi. I also used scans from missdream to make my manga icons. My friend also helped me with gathering screencaps and other official resources.

[astarriscus]

i wna make my blog more designy and all ya ya >.>

[imaddicted2hs]

Ok so hi gorgeous people💞 this is my first writing ever. Like ever. But it's still amazing, according to my dear friend here @0oolookitsme and I mean thanks to her who made me give it a try!! So I hope you like it and thank you for reading it, I would really love some feedback too! __________

It's a harry styles fic ofc and it's going to be a cute FRIENDS TO LOVERS so bare with me, I promise I'll get better!

Warning: none Word Count: 1.5k smth lol IM NERVOUS ASF SO I HOPE U LIKE IT DJDJKDK

Having a crush is bittersweet. And as funny as it sounds, y/n has actually never experienced the sweet part for more than two days. Having a tendency to fall for the most complicated people is not the best thing when you yourself are a human being with an extremely complex way of thinking, a very involved life and need help with untangling the thin threads of your doings. From her past experiences if there's something she has gained an understanding of is probably about attraction. What kind of attraction you may ask, it's nothing but the liking you take towards someone. The way they talk, act, eat, sleep- no wait we need to pause a little there because that sound's like a stalker or an obsessed freak. But the motive here is if you have ever liked someone, your mind wants to know them more and more, a never ending list of facts about their interests, their dislikes, what are the things that scare them or what brings them comfort. At this point she knows what kind of a person she can become if she let's her heart get involved in any of the matters. She is intense when it comes to feelings with a little to zero logical thinking. A habit of speaking before thinking and not able to focus on the tasks at hand are her other characteristics that stand out even more when she's basically whipped. So keeping her past in mind, walking down the small valley formed by tall buildings with slope roofs, the first and the most important thing to be attained is NOT falling for anyone she repeats. Not if they talk to her sweetly or crack a joke, flirt with her or tease her. She can't have herself falling for someone on the first day of her semester start and then later regret being 2 minutes late which caused the fated meet with a cute emo boy or looking at her right just when the shy introvert guy with the weird hair but always bright eyes glanced towards her. Lost in her thought and repeating the same line, like its some mantra that will prevent her from meeting someone who will own her heart within seconds, she must have missed the huge staircase right in front of her, which has her tripping and falling hard as the bundle in her hand looking not so a bundle anymore scatters all around her. Not being the clumsy one and tripping the stairs upward in front of atleast 10 people makes her internally scream like a child whose toy gets stolen when he gets unwillingly distracted because of the stupid ice-cream truck. Gathering every single page quickly before it tries to fly away, reaching even further from her grasp, she stands up with the help of the support of the wall next to her, dusting the light floral pattern frock adorning the small yet big figure gracefully. Stomping her way upstairs, trying to stop her mind from playing the most cliché movement of any romance movie where the lead roles make eye contact for the first time when their hands by a 'mere chance' meet and a so called magical current flows through them making them feel 'things'. She hates those movies because she definitely has never experienced the mutual love at first sight and if she stops lying to herself that it doesn't affects her, deep down it hurts and makes her feel lonely, unwanted and not pretty enough to be someone's, eye catching, cute first sight love. Sighing deeply because of the nervous bubble forming in the pit of her stomach, y/n enters the hallway which is wide. Wider than two hundred meter, but still crowded, other students, teachers and other staff basically running in a bustle here and there making the hall look chaotic. She doesn't have the energy for this. The loud humming with hurried footsteps are no music to her ears. Making her way past the batch mates and other seniors she reaches her locker, frustrated and sleep deprived because the show that was trending right now was actually really good and how could she miss that. Not even if it was streamed at 1 a m Opening the lock, the door is slammed ignoring her surroundings which did her no good. She hears the door hit someone's arm first and then a loud groan followed after. Her eyes widen and she doesn't wastes a second closing it and seeing the poor person's face who got hit by a sleep deprived girl pretty early in the morning. As she turns her head to the left, her eyes make contact with green orbs like a foot higher than her. "I'm so so sorry, oh dear lord I didn't see you there. It was not on purpose I just was lost in my thoughts" she rambles out as her hand reaches out, before her mind can comprehend, to rub the shoulder of the unknown guy standing there with wide eyes, lips parted and dishevelled hair. He's tall. As it hits her that he hasn't spoken a word since, her hand immediately falls down, now hesitant to even make eye contact because she basically touched him without his permission. Before her mouth can apologise again he cuts her off chuckling a little "it's okay really. You are not the only one who looks like they pulled an all nighter." Her gaze diverts rather quickly because of the obvious observation stated by him. "M' Harry" he rasps out clearly noticing her embarrassed self. "Hello Harry, I'm y/n". "It was The Checkers that kept you up late at night wasn't it? Cause same. Can't say it's your fault, that show is addicting" he says which makes her shoulder relax visibly. "You watch it too?" she can't help but ask, definitely a little surprised. "Umhm" Harry nods in agreement, locking his locker making an unpleasant noise because of the rusted iron. "Wanna walk to the English class together?" Her brows furrow and she's cut off again as she parts her lips to interrogate him about how he knew she had English "saw your schedule" he mumbles out able to read the short girl with a slightly plump body in front of her. He has her speechless because she's known as the unreadable one in her family as well as her friend group. She squeaks out a "sure" as she starts following him like a lost puppy, surprised and confused because she is always the talkative one. But right now her words are stuck deep down in her throat. "Sophmore year?" he asks her opening the door for her smoothly and his actions have her mute. Not trusting her voice she just nods her head a little too furiously, clutching her books closer to her stomach. Taking a seat in the second row, just as she's about to ask him to sit with her, he is already making his way for the last row winking at her "see you around y/n" Turning around to face the front, for a good minute she just stares ahead of her trying to apprehend about what just happened. That's when she realizes how her name sounded coming out of his mouth and his eyes are all that she can see. That's when she realizes what just happened. That's when she knows she's fucked.

---------------------------------------

I hope you guys liked this lol cuz this was my first ever writing, pleasee gimme feedback in asks or here, I need it and if u liked it dont forget to reblog!!!! 

[mcfreakin-bxtch]

Jealously

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader, Reader x OC (Platonic)

Warnings: Jealously, fluff

Word Count: 1.5k

Requested: Yes | No

Prompts: #1 - “You’re not in love with them, are you?”

#6 - “Do you have the slightest idea of how fucking important you are to me?”

A/N: So I just now noticed that some of you have been left out of my taglist due to some technical difficulties and I apologize for just not noticing and fixing it until now. I feel like a stupid dick xD Anyhow, my requests and taglist are open!

Masterlist

Lan had only been travelling with you and Din for three days, and you could practically feel the jealously radiating off him; ticking and ticking away like a bomb, though slow, patient like the Mandalorian he trained to be.

Lan was your friend and partner for many years before your ultimate departure that led to you finding Din and the Child. It was mutual and understanding, rather one that did not become one of your regrets; it steered you to Din.

There was definitely a major difference when it came to Lan and the Mandalorian. Lan was more of the extrovert, the wavered, but had more of a muscular build than Din, whereas Din was closed off, deadly and gruff.

(Lan had once looked at you romantically, but you never reciprocated. And you never would)

Your relationship with Din was rocky at first, testing the waters of a new partnership. He was a closed off man – no question from the years of being alone – and you were the sociable. Although it didn’t happen right away, it didn’t take too long for him to start opening up to you, actually holding a conversation with you that wasn’t about a job or the Child. He was kind, patient, and paid attention. Over time you began to fall in love with the man, though you were quick to hide your feelings in fear of his rejection; just being with him and the Child right now was enough for you, and you didn’t want to risk that.

(Except you never noticed the lingering in his stance when you did the simplest of things, like talk to the Child or sing and sway when you thought he wasn’t listening or the way your fleeing touch would make his heart flutter and – if his helmet were off – you’d see the flush of his cheeks)

It was by pure coincidence, running into your old partner again. You greeted him with a warm hug and smile, not noticing the way the Mandalorian bristled behind you. He was stiff, stern during the introductions, but you chalked it up to Din sizing Lan up like he usually did when he met someone new.

Turns out the three of you were all after the same job. It was your idea to use his skills and split half with him, which Lan was quick to agree to. Din only nodded, which made you confused.

“Everything okay?” You eventually asked as he polished his weapons.

“Yeah,” he croaked out.

You sighed, sitting down next to him and waiting for him to turn to you. Once you realized he wasn’t going to, you began to feel frustrated; it was like starting right back at square one with him.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

(I’m afraid)

“I know.”

You clenched your jaw but nodded, getting up and walking towards the ladder.

“We’ll be heading out in an hour at least,” you informed him.

He only gave a tilt of his head. Lan could tell something was bothering you when you climbed up the ladder, watching the stars as you were in hyperspace.

“Trouble in paradise?” He teased.

You huffed, plopping yourself in the pilot’s seat. “It’s like I’m starting all over again with him and I don’t even know why.”

He smiled, giving you a pointed stare. You frowned, not aware of where it was coming from.

“What? Why are you giving me that look?”

He chuckled. “You really haven’t changed at all, Y/N. The man - .”

“It’s time.” You both jumped at the sound of the Mandalorian, still stealthy as ever even with the heavy armor. It infuriated you sometimes.

You looked in front of you to see that he was right, the planet in question was right on your radar. Lan raised his eyebrows and clapped his hands, trying to ease the tension in the room.

“Well then. Let’s get started.”

…

You didn’t realize just how you missed working with Lan until it came to play, the both of you fighting side by side in almost perfect tune while Din worked to get through to the bounty. The job was successful least to say, and you and Lan celebrated with high fives and giggles from the nostalgia of your old days.

“Talk to him,” Lan whispered to you when Din was out of earshot. You were standing outside the Razor Crest, getting ready to depart once again. 

“I think you’ll find what you’ve been looking for.”

You frowned, confused and opening your mouth to question him, Lan simply dismissed you with a goodbye and a wave, walking back to his own ship.

You boarded with a heavy heart, knowing that Lan was right, you did have to talk to him. 

Din was still just as stoic, and you could tell he was not happy about your suggestion to have Lan join you, at least on more than one occasion.

“Alright,” you huffed. “Enough is enough. What’s your problem, Din?”

His shoulders squared, fists tightening around the controls of the ship. You gritted your teeth and put the ship on autopilot, not missing the way he tensed and started to turn in his seat, quickly making his way to the ladder.

“Din,” you pleaded behind him. “Please, please tell me what’s wrong. I mean, I deserve an explanation at least.”

He sighed, shifting on his feet as he thought over what to say. Truth was, Din was scared. As soon as he saw how you looked and acted around Lan, he thought for sure he was done for. That you were going to leave him for your former partner and he would be alone all over again (he still had the baby at least). He was jealous at how well you and Lan worked together, nearly flawless. The love you held in your eyes when you looked at Lan was prominent, and it made his heart shatter at the mere thought that your love would never be placed on him; that his growing love for you would never be reciprocated.

And now you were suggesting that Lan stay and his throat closed at the thought.

“You’re not in love with him, are you?”

The words spilled out of him before he could even think about what he was saying. He immediately wanted to take it back once he saw your face fall; first confusion, then understanding, then anger. The last one is what confused him.

“Is that what this has been all about?” You questioned. “You think I’m in love with him?”

You laughed then, and it sounded defeated. Din’s frustration and embarrassment grew which each octave, but he patiently waited until you stopped. You stepped closer to him, crossing your arms over your chest as you thought about what to say next.

“Din,” you said softly. He inwardly leaned into your space, but you made no move to bring attention to it in fear of him moving away. “Do you have the slightest idea of how fucking important you are to me?”

(I’m in love with you, you beautiful moron)

He was taken back, expecting the complete opposite of your confession. You continued when he didn’t answer.

“I… I’m in love with you, Din.” You whispered, suddenly too shy to look at the visor, and chose instead to look down at your feet.

The silence, usually comfortable, was now suffocating. The tension was thick, ready to snap at any moment, and you almost felt like screaming.

“Look at me,” he finally said, gruffly.

You took a deep breath and did as he said, not realizing just how close he had gotten; your forearms were touching the chest plate of his armor.

“I – Y/N I’m sorry.”

You frowned, watching as he slowly reached out to take your hand in his. You subconsciously sighed at the feel of his tactical gloves.

“I should’ve been more honest with you,” he whispered. “I was just… afraid that you didn’t feel the same for me.

(If he too paid attention, he would see the soft smiles you reserved only for his eyes. The way you would light up every time he was in the room, how you always scooted close to him just to feel his warmth)

And now that I know you do, I feel like a complete fool.”

You both chuckled, looking down like a couple of nervous, lovesick teenagers. He hooked his finger under your chin, bringing your face up to look back at him. You licked your lips, and you heard the faint shudder of his breath underneath the helmet. Very slowly, giving you time to react and pull away – like you ever would – he placed his forehead against yours in a Mandalorian’s kiss.

You automatically closed your eyes, your eyelids fluttering when he brought his hands down to your waist to bring you closer to him. You placed your arms around his neck, basking in the feel of being in his arms.

“We should make it up to each other then,” you continued to whisper, not wanting to disturb the quiet setting.

Din hummed and rubbed your lower back, pulling his head back only to pull you into a full hug.

“That we should.”

Tags: @alexis-m-kruger​, @scarlett-berserker​, @justlovetoreadfics​, @lil-baby27​, @mando-vibes​, @beepbeepyabitch, @that-void-witch​, @im-the-music-whore​, @certifiedhunter​, @softpedropascal​, @hejahockey​, @okaydacre​, @lemongrove​, @appreciating-chase-brody​, @iwontforgettheapplepie, @mybabyboytony​, @olyamoriarty, @pcrushinnerd​, @elusive-ivory​, @dizzydazed​, @bluejeancntrygrl​, @dadzawas-eyebags​, @moonstruck-witchy​, @our-mrlangdon, @parody-the-emi​, @evalynanne​, @purplewaterbird​, @angel-hunter-winchester​, @tedpicklez​, @pascalisthepunkest​, @coffeeandtodd​, @blunt-cake-yes​, @agoldin​

[iinfortunii]

rules: code of conduct.

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Updates will be made as required.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.

H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡

I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.

01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.

E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.

F. Please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.

She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.

You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.

She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.

NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

[thechocoboos]

Could you do the chocobros (+Ardyn and Ravus) taking care of their significant other while she's on her period?

These hcs have been sitting in my google docs for a week now--but hey, they’re ready!!! I ended up with eight pages of headcanons so brace yourself lol; wrote these while i was suffering from the very thing i was writing about. what a life.

HC: The Bros + Ardyn and Ravus taking care of their SO on their period!

Noctis

Noct knew that periods existed, he swore that he did, but he just kinda… forgets.

So when he came home to see you dying on your couch, he was just… ??? “Uh, babe? You okay?”

“NO, Noct, I’m not o-fucking-kay--”

“Uh.”

It was only when he called Ignis that he figured out what was going on, with Ignis exasperatedly having to remind Noct that hey, people get periods!

It was a short phonecall, luckily

And it didn’t take Noct too long to get with the program

Softness increases to 110%

Mutual laziness increases to 70%

Caring for his SO increases to 2000%

He does his best--but he also kinda. Just. I dont wanna say it but he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal until he sees you crying over cramps, then he realizes that periods suck and that you just need your stupid boyfriend to give you the love and support that you deserve

After that, he gets better!!!

“NoCT, can you please go get me my meds? And some water--”

“Can’t you do it yourself--” He always freezes, remembering how bad it can be, “Shit, sorry, babe--” He already started getting up, bringing out a bit of your favorite snack as an apology, “You know I’m an idiot.” He said when he handed you your meds and your fave candy bar

You know, and for whatever reason, you still loved him

He kinda has to learn what to do and what not to do just because he feels too unsure to ask anyone

Unfortunately, it was also through trial and error that he realized how sensitive you can sometimes be when your period is knockin’ at the front door

He found out through multiple crying sessions--and yes, it was usually his fault, but he was always insanely good about making it up to you with food, cuddles, and movie marathons

He’s the boyfriend who goes to the store for tampons and pads for you, sees the giant aisle of them, and while he isn’t embarrassed to be seen buying shit for his SO, he has absolutely no idea what to get and literally grabs the first shit he sees

And of course, you send him right back with a picture of the brand you actually like and a pad in his hand just so he can get it right the second time

Cue the mental image of Noctis comparing the pad in his hand to the color of pad packaging in stores

“They’re both green so it’s gotta be right… right???”

In summary: Noctis is a dumbass and can be a bit insensitive about periods simply because he’s really not around women or anyone who gets periods, but he really does try to remedy his ignorance and any mistakes he makes

Prompto

Prompto, too, has never really had much experience with girls or periods or people with periods and he just. He tries so hard--he really does

He gets you a new teddy bear every single time (at some point, you know you’re gonna have to tell him that he can’t keep buying you new bears, but it’s so cute that you don’t want him to stop)

He’s the one who gets sympathy pain

I promise, the second he catches wind that you’re on your period, he’s out the door trying to find your favorite of everything

If you send him to the store for pads, he comes back with one of everything and lots of tears in his eyes, “Babe--I didn’t know what you wanted so I just bought everything im sorry oh gods”

He’s the pitiful soul who blushes as he buys all the pads and tampons and looks like he’s gonna cry

He’s the one who pulls a cart full of sanitary products to the first register he sees and is crying as he looks in the clerk’s eyes and cries, “My SO is on their period i dont know what they like help me please”

Christ, he’s a mess but he’s your mess and you love him

He comes back with every single snack he knows you so much as look at

Cravings? He’s got your back.

Like, you mention this shit you want half heartedly and then he disappears for three hours and comes back with a weighted blanket, heating pad, and three bags of those weird chips you were craving

He’s always blushing and frantic, but he blushes the hardest when you ask him to lay with you and cuddle

Ofc he does it--he loves it, but the bold, straightforward way you ask has him blushing head to toes

He once caught himself wishing people got periods more often just so he could hold you like this more often--he accidentally said it out loud, and you only snuggled into his chest more and told him to shut up and hold you tighter

Prompto is a mess but he tries so, so hard just to make you comfortable and content

He once drove for twenty minutes to find your favorite candy bar (and he would do it again, no question)

When you cry bc emotions, he starts to tear up, too

He always says, “Babe, if you cry, I’ll start crying and then we’ll both be crying and I don't think either of us can handle that on an emotional level” and then you both cry anyways

He likes to sing to you when you guys cuddle, his voice is soft but husky in the perfect way that lulls you to sleep

If you fall asleep in his arms, he falls asleep, too

He’s the extra bf who goes above and beyond unnecessarily, merely because he doesn’t know how else to help you

Gladdy

Holy Behemoth Batman! One of these idiots is properly aware of periods!!!

And it’s this one. Bravo, Gladdy, bravo. Fans everywhere are cheering your name.

In all seriousness, he is aware and actually knows how to handle someone who is on their period

Iris used to get some pretty bad periods, and with their mom not around and their dad always busy, it was Gladio who had to help her out and actually explain them to her in the first place (he’s never gonna forget when Iris ran up to him one morning while crying and shouting about bloody underwear)

So, needless to say, he ain’t shy during that time of the month. In fact, he knows more tips and tricks than you do, simply because he was one hell of a big bro for Iris

Heating pads? Blankets? Snacks? Damn good brands of sanitary products? He’s got it all and you didn’t even have to ask, like holy shit

Back when you guys were just starting out your relationship, you had actually gotten your period once while at his place and when you told him you’d have to go home because you forgot your products, he was like, “Oh--hang on. You prefer pads or tampons???” and pulls out a giant basket with a lobster on it, labelled ‘Menstruation Crustacean’

He said that he liked to be prepared in case Iris was over

What an absolute legend of a bf. Like, after that, you knew you weren’t letting this fucker go.

He rubs your stomach if you’re having really bad cramps and doesn’t even have to be asked to go grab you some pain meds--it’s like he has a sixth sense or some shit

Really, really chill about periods as a whole like he’s not scared to go to the store for you and he gets the right products!!!

Sometimes, when you get so sore and crampy that you can’t move, he’ll carry you around in his arms and doesn’t complain once

Will change your bloody sheets and isn’t the slightest bit grossed out--doesn’t mind emptying the bathroom trashcan either

Similar to Prompto, he loves to hold you and hum to you. He won’t sing, but even his absent minded humming while he holds you to his chest under one arm and reads some random book lulls you to sleep with ease

Quite frankly, probably the best of the bros when it comes to periods

He’s not scared of them. He doesn’t care if it gets messy, he knows what to do, like. Shit. Fuckin’ winner over here.

Ignis

Ignis, much like everyone else, does not have that much experience with periods. Didn’t really have many folks with periods around and he’s never had a SO before

So you would think he’s a hot mess--but nO! He would nEvER

He googled and he googled and he googled and he asked coworkers (always respectfully ofc) and he googled some more

He has an arsenal of tips and tricks and guides and everything--but he does lack the hands on experience

He will help you and he will buy you everything you need and more--but there will always be the hesitation of someone who doesn’t really know what they’re doing

One time, Ignis tried to rub your belly to help with cramps, but he only succeeded in tickling you and embarrassingly had to admit he doesn’t really know where his hand should be

Ugh what a cutie pie

He’s patient and sweet and he does all these small things for you without even telling you, and when you do notice, you feel like your heart is just gonna burst and vomit affection everywhere

He’s still a little embarrassed and shy when you boldly demand cuddles, but he does it nonetheless (he fucking loves it though he will never admit to it)

He’s the SO who cleans up bloody sheets and quietly gets blood stains out of your clothes while you’re vomiting from cramps, but never, ever makes a big deal out of it and does it with the caring affection of a kind man in love

Bumps his pun game to 110% to try and make you laugh

Knows which subjects and what phrases and words to avoid to prevent your emotions from blowing up

Even if they do, he never takes rude words to heart and he always comforts you lovingly, giving you a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek

He keeps an eye on you

If you shift uncomfortably, he’s there with a heating pad

If you’re meds are wearing off, he already has more in hand

Sometimes, if you want to cuddle, you only have to look at him a certain way before he’s sighing and climbing into bed next to you, reminding you that if you were anyone else he wouldn’t go this far

He just dotes on you in the quietest ways possible

Ravus

Insensitive Dumbass Part 2

Yes, he knows people get periods. Does he care? No.

Not until he falls in love with you, at least.

Cramps? Can’t be that bad. Migraines? Just mere headaches. Aches and pains? Probably nothing. He dismisses each symptom right up until you come into his life

Because when you guys get together--he gets to see firsthand just how bad everything can get

Oh gods you’re crying from it all?? VOmitting??? HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW--

He felt like a right dick (and he should)

But he was also quick to change his tune, because the love of his life can’t suffer like this

Not while he’s around!!!

He’s quick to ask Luna what to do, and thank god at least one sibling in their family is sympathetic and not a mess and a fucking half otherwise he’d be doing things through trial and error (not that he didn’t, even with the help)

He does everything by the written list Luna had given him (she knew he wasn’t gonna remember everything), even years after you two got together (he likes to use it as a benchmark of sorts to know when he’s doing everything you need)

The first few times you had sent him to the store because you ran out of supplies, he had absolutely no idea what to get and any poor employees who tried to help him earned the most aggressive, hostile glare he could muster

He ends up calling Luna, too, because how is he supposed to call you and tell you that he doesn’t know what to get??? And have you think he’s incapable??? NO! He was gonna be the best bf and get exactly what you fucking needed or so help him--

He’s just very aggressively in love. Little bit of a dick but he changes and grows as a person into the kinda man we can all love and support and who will love and support us right back!!!

He does his best but he doesn’t want to seem incapable of being helpful

Likes to remind you when your medicine is supposed to wear out so he can show that he’s some use

Anytime he gives you a massage or rubs your back or smth, he’s always giving you nervous, uncertain glances just to make sure you’re content or that he’s helping

Always giving you nervous glances just to check that you’re okay (he really loves you, he’s just not sure how to show it)

Lots of hugs and kisses but he’s embarrassed about all the skinship when you want cuddles (don’t get him wrong, he really, really loves it; he’s just… not sure what to do with all these feelings)

He learns how to be a supportive, wonderful SO when you’re on your period and maybe one day he might actually remember your favorite brand (but don’t get your hopes up too much at that)

Ardyn

Back in Ardyn’s day, periods weren’t exactly talked about, so the first few times you mentioned them, he was absolutely flabbergasted that you would blatantly talk about something that was considered so private

If he hadn’t been a healer, he wouldn’t have known near as much about them as he did

But even as a healer, periods were still something considered a woman’s subject and were usually left for women healers and mothers to handle so he could rarely do much

But then--Ardyn had to get pretty fuckin’ used to periods because you were pretty much out of commission when your “aunt irma” came to visit

First couple times you got your period while with Ardyn, they weren’t so bad, but then they went right back to their normal symptoms

When Ardyn came home to see you curled up in a ball, clutching your abdomen and trying to just keep your eyes shut to block out the light, he had thought you were terribly, terribly sick

“Darling--what’s wrong? What happened--” He was genuinely concerned and worried, his brow furrowed and mouth drawn in a worried frown. He hadn’t realized that your periods were so debilitating, so to see you like this, he had thought something even worse had happened

You only managed a groan when you tried to talk, and that only made him rush over even more, trying to lift your arms to see where you were injured, “Darling, please--”

“‘M fine,” you tried to say, “It’s just--fuck,” You hissed as a particularly bad cramp came your way, “--fine, jus’, that time of the month.” You wheezed, laying your head back down on your pillow

And that was when Ardyn realized just how terrible the symptoms could be

He was a worried man. Absurdly worried actually, and sometimes it made you want to laugh if everything didn’t hurt so badly

Ardyn was the kind of man to do absolutely anything and everything for his love, so that’s what he did

You never had to leave the bed for anything unless you really wanted to

Ardyn would deliver your pain meds on the clock, always accompanied by the most ridiculously jeweled goblet he could find (he was always one to be amusingly over the top and treat you like a queen, but his dramatics always cheered you up)

He was usually by your side unless you requested some alone time, and then he would respectfully kiss your forehead, say “Of course, darling. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call--I am always at your disposal,” and close the door quietly as he left

Otherwise, he would be laying in bed with you, one arm wrapped around your shoulder and the other holding some old book or resting across his stomach as he took a nap beside you

He would give you massages wherever you ached and he would provide herbal remedies from back in his day that were pretty good at relieving aches and pains

Ardyn’s innuendos and teasings would go on the back burner during this time--unless you instigated it

If you didn’t, he might tease you here and there, but always the tiniest, most light hearted things and it was always said in the softest teasing tones

All your feelings are valid to him, hormonal or otherwise, and he will listen to every word you say as though they were your last

Yes, you were usually treated like royalty by him, but it somehow increased exponentially when that time of the month arrived

[naferty]

Ironpanther birthday fic is back! Part 8 has finally arrived. Finally. 

~~

Shuri and Peter were crouched under a bush and watched intently as T’Challa and Mr Stark quietly talked to each other. Both felines lied on their stomachs with their paws crossed in front of them. T’Challa, Shuri noticed, was constantly flicking his tail upwards in interest. A tell she knew meant her brother appeared invested in the relationship that was building between himself and the white tiger in the span of a month. It mattered not what that relationship ended as. Her brother already showed he considered his tie with the tiger important.

As for Mr Stark. There were no visible tells that showed he returned the sentiment or the interest. No flick of his tail, no paw shuffling, no ear twitch, no casually leaning closer, not even a subtle sniff. Mr Stark was as still as a stump. He was guarded, cautious, even more so than her own brother, who had gone through lessons after lessons in order to hide any body language that would show weakness to their enemies.

Mr Stark appeared careful, even amongst allies only wishing to help. Even as her brother showed obvious signs and clear intentions. The courage to open up was nonexistent in his form. Signs of embedded wounds buried deep within his being. Perhaps a case of too often bitten, permanently shy?

Days had gone by and the injuries Mr Stark had sustained had healed over. The white of his fur finally clear and the worry of infection long gone. Now, only the emotional scarring remained. Scarring he wished to keep hidden. Through what little they could see during moments he let himself go Shuri had come to find the man was stubborn and brash and perfect for her brother, who was equally hot-headed and knew no better. But how to let him see?

They needed a hand. A little push together.

“We need ideas. I feel the song will not be enough for them. The two are too stubborn,” she said to the wolf. “They need all the help we can offer.”

Peter sniffed, “You think a song about love is not enough? I thought it’s pretty straight forward.”

“They are too proud. Neither will take the leap. We need to give them a push.”

“Right. How about… falling leaves while the song plays?”

Shuri tilted her head. “Falling leaves? For an aesthetic touch to it? Yes, that’ll work. View each other under a different light. How about the scene of the water… does Mr Stark swim?”

“I don’t know. I never actually saw him swim, but he’s a tiger, I’m sure he knows how.”

“Let’s hope so. If not, my brother can rescue him. That will surely earn him points.”

“What do you have in mind for the water part?”

“Knock them in. A swim is perfect. We’ll have to time it.”

“Oh, they’re not going to like that.”

“It’s their own fault for needing the help.”

Shuri grinned when she heard Peter snort. They would require to plan ahead if they wished to make their list come true. To time everything as perfectly as they could. To let the two adults know whatever they feel, no matter how small, is mutual.

Maybe they’ll find something more together.

“I hope none of them freeze,” Shuri had little in that regard, “we need to go and prepare. If I know my brother he will continue to visit each day. If not to chat Mr Stark up, than to check both his and your progress.”

As if by reflex at the mention of their past treatment, Peter shook his head to ruffle the fur around his neck. Perhaps to remind himself of the freedom he now possessed without the collar? She felt a pang in her chest at the thought.

What they must have gone through…

At least now they are safe and free to roam, instead of being locked in a cage as if they were mere animals. The very idea, the audacity, it sent a shiver of disgust through her.

“We can plan these events to fit his visits, but we need more suggestions. They will need the courage to admit anything and that will not occur from one.”

Peter’s tail visibly wagged. “Let’s get to planning then. I’ve got plenty of ideas. Not all of them sane, but I’m sure they’ll be fine. Mr Stark is quick on his feet.”

“So is my brother. Perhaps we can use that.”

“Brainstorm then?”

“Brainstorm,” Shuri agreed before they ran off to plan every detail they could.

Over to where both tiger and panther rested Tony’s entire body shivered. His hairs all rose as if danger was in his near future. The sense so strong he visibly shuddered and T’Challa noticed.

“Did you sense that, too?” The prince inquired, letting him know he experienced the same thing.

“Something is going to happen. We’re not going to like it.”

“I fear we’ll have no choice in the matter. We will not be able to avoid whatever we will meet in our future.”

Tony huffed. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all. Thanks.”

T’Challa gave him a toothy smile. “Would you rather I lie?”

“I’d rather steer clear of it in general. Can you make that possible?”

“I can make a lot of things, but even I cannot predict future occurrences.”

“Guess we’ll just face our fates then. Can’t be that bad, right?”

~~~

Tony would have assumed he had jinxed himself by speaking too soon, but he honestly had not expected or had been prepared for this.

Two days since the foreboding and he had braced himself for the worst. His mind had run with dozens of possibilities of what their future held. From the metaphorical rug soon being yanked from under his and Peter's paws with the true colors of the prince being revealed, to something simple as one of them having the unfortunate luck of catching a cold.

Of all those possibilities it never occurred to him that Shuri and Peter were the ones to be responsible for the whole debacle and what, exactly, the duo had planned to do.

Boy, it had never crossed his mind this was what they had planned for both him and T'Challa.

He had been lying peacefully on the ground. His fur shining better than ever under the sun. The patches where his fur had once been missing were now covered and healthy. The white of his fur glowing, showing his progress in health. While some scars would forever remain, he counted his blessings for now. T’Challa had truly kept his word and aided them, but Tony still planned to keep his guard up.

He’d been burned plenty of times.

The prince himself was lying next to him. Moderate space between them to not intrude in their personal bubbles.

They weren't chatting, surprisingly comfortable with just each other’s company. Tony was enjoying the sun’s rays as he continued to heal and T’Challa was enjoying a small break from his princely duties.

The orange petal falling from the sky was first seen by Tony. The white tiger had been basking under the rays with his head up and eyes closed when something flicked his nose. His eyes open to the sight of a beautiful long petal balancing perfectly on the tip of his nose. Confused, he lowered his snout to allow the petal to continue its path down.

Odd. Tony didn’t even know their cage had orange flowers. He eyed it confusingly.

Then another petal floated down. Then another and another. All of them trickling down and landing all around them.

“What?”

T’Challa was just as confused as him, if his twitching ears had anything to say of it.

“Is this normal?” He asked the prince. It appeared only their spot was being rained on by orange petals and nowhere else.

“It is not,” T’Challa stared at the petals as if their very presence was a threat. “These are not from the flowers of the palace, and we do not partake in showering in them in this manner.”

Well, even if they didn’t make it a habit to shower in flowers, Tony had to admit the contrast between the orange of the petals and the black of T’Challa’s coat was very beautiful. Almost worthy of a portrait to be displayed for those who appreciated the arts.  

Not that Tony would ever say it. The prince didn’t need his compliments nor would the prince want them from someone like Tony.

They both nearly jumped out of their fur when a voice echoed all around them.

“Can you feel the love tonight?...”

Up on their paws they stood to search for the source of the noise. When it was evident the noise was, in fact, a song and they listened closely to the words they were left staring at each other awkwardly.

Unable to hold the prince’s gaze, Tony turned away, grateful his fur hid the otherwise very obvious flush on his face. Needing a distraction, he searched for the source of the petals and the song combination and found them on top of a hill that overlooked their spot.

The grinning face of the princess stared down at him. Next to her, the orange petals were thrown over the edge and soon enough Peter’s own wolfish grin joined hers. They appeared very proud of themselves and were obviously the culprits.

“Really, Peter?” Tony said just as T’Challa gave a very defeated sigh and a “Shuri.”

“Hi, Mr Stark,” Peter’s tongue lolled out with his grin.

“Don’t mind us. Do continue your time together. We’re just setting the mood,” Shuri said, just as the song echoed “The world for once, in perfect harmony.”

Tony really did not like what that implied. “Thanks, but that’s really unnecessary.”

“You are welcome,” they said simultaneously before disappearing. The song did not stop.

T’Challa shuffled in place, anxious about their situation. “I apologize for her.”

“Yeah, sorry about my kid, too.”

A bouquet of flowers of different varieties and colors came crashing down before them.

“Brother, give him these!”

T’Challa groaned and lowered himself to the ground, covering his face with his paws. “Shuri.”

Tony couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part7) (Part 8)

@xissa-chanx @bornwithgasolineheart @societyslostone @aliceinawesomeland @seven-oomen @not-the-cavalry @gabriel-r3ap3r-reyes @sodoyoufondueme @damej @gentlemanspygalahad @meghatron12337 @the-ice-goddess @fullheartedlyprovocative @breyito @llaladonna @caped-ace  @larissaloki @ninacloverfield @wateriiterro @avengingphoenix @hurricanesass @arellaroth @inkblackfingers @hestia-sama @itsall-taken @olevereidna @im-an-indoor-person @0dannyphantom0 @zessagirl @drarrydarling @beautiful-rave

[amorecleverdevil]

@shiftingsupport​: 1 and 13?    ↪︎ ask the mun about writing. [ 𝔄𝔠𝔠𝔢𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 ]

         𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔩. Oh hell yeh! Question time! I threw your answers down below a lil read more because I’m what the kids like to call?? A rambler.

1). What does your writing process look like?

A mess?? Lmao nah;;; So, honestly it depends on what I’m writing, how long I’m going to be continuing the story revolving around it, and what my current mood is. In general, I am a person who has a hard time sticking to one particular style or approach because I just get bored of it a lot. I find it a lot of fun to come at writing in many different ways and I’ve found that it’s helped me really explore what I do and don’t like for each genre or character that I attempt to tackle.

That being said, though, I tend to have at least a couple consistencies. Basically, when I’m writing replies, the most important questions I ask myself tend to be;

What is my character’s reaction to what just happened?

What have I written that actively engages the other writer and/or their character?

Have I actually described the scene or merely provided dialogue?

Will this thread carry for at least two more replies and, if not, should I end it or can I add something to make it keep going?

I’ll go ahead and give you some examples using writing that I’ve previously written to paint what I mean with each of them. For the first point, that’s the one that most people I’ve seen tend to have the best grip on, obviously. People who do roleplay tend to really know their own characters and can write them really compellingly. Most of the time, this part of the writing comes from the other player setting up a question or scenario and my character basically engaging with it. Typically, reactions tend to be the first thing I’ll actually be the first thing I put into a reply and I think that they are really important to keeping a fluid transition from one character to the next. 

In the above example, you can kinda see what I’m talking about. Basically, Izzy made Gwen say something and Billy here gave a very basic response to it. Most of the time, I find dialogue or verbal responses are the best because usually the other character should pick up on them, but I like mixing in physical reactions and more internal monologues alongside those verbal responses. Sometimes, if two characters are in tune enough with each other, it actually can be really rad to get away with only physical reactions and internal dialogues, but that often requires a certain connection and history between characters to make accurate conclusions about what might be going through their head. Here is a great example between one of my mains and Nay from my old blog.

Basically, Nay notices that Oswald is probably getting emotional over the fact they’re standing in front of this grave and looks down to get a better idea of who Oswald is getting so upset over. Oswald then follows his line of sight to the headstones, themselves. It’s a more sad scene, so not only is the lack of actual verbal responses very fun to play with, it’s also much more appropriate for the tone of the thread. This is something I love to try and play with a lot, but I avoid doing it as much with people who I have not already threaded with a few times.

After that, I then have to try to actively engage the other writer or create an opportunity for them to add to the thread as well. Especially when writing with someone new or for whom you may not have an immediate chemistry with, it becomes very important to throw them a bone, so I usually will do this as a follow up. I personally don’t love using questions to carry a thread, but it can be a good way to give an explicit indication of how the other person can contribute to it and it can be a lot more comfortable for people who are new to interacting with me and may be hesitant to just throw new ideas at me without having an extensive conversation about it. Here is an example where Naomasa responded to a question that Oboro poses and interacts with a nonverbal. 

These first two bullets are what I usually consider the meat of the reply, so the most work is put into them. Everything else is filler and tends to be what actually makes the replies prettier and more interesting. In many cases, adding the last two can even happen naturally when you are trying to come up with ways to do the former, but it’s still something I keep in mind to look out for when I’m writing. Of the four points, I think that the one I probably struggle with the most is the one that revolves around describing the scene and I think that has been what’s kept me from reaching that multi-para/novella goal that I really wanna be able to do when writing threads, but I’ve been putting in more work to try and get on top of that one. 

The final point is basically just thinking about what I can add to try and keep a thread engaging. This is when I really tend to bring in that plot and start advancing it. Introducing a conflict or a new activity in the scene that might not have otherwise been relevant before now can really revive a thread and I tend to do that a lot if I feel like a thread is dying out too quickly. Sometimes it takes, sometimes it doesn’t but it’s basically just my way of jumpstarting an interaction I feel like didn’t have enough substance to get off the ground in the first place. The example for this one is between Naomasa and Jasper - Yes, I know it’s the same person, again, but it’s because Fabgen is ridiculously good at doing the whole “yes and” thing and really we should all just take some time to appreciate them - in which the two of them are both responding to a crisis of some kind. I had felt the nature of the thread hadn’t given them a concrete way to continue to interact with each other, so I made up a random conflict that they both could work! In this case, it was some random kid running into danger.

After ALL of that, basically the last thing I tend to do for a thread is proofread and format. In a perfect world, I’d actually do the whole proofreading thing more often, but lmao nah. Basically, tldr, my writing process when doing threads is:

1). Respond to what the other person says. 2). Give them something to respond to. 3). Introduce a new plot point as necessary. 4). Fill in scene details and revise as necessary.

If you read back on my old threads, you’ll probably notice most of them follow this linear outline. Sometimes I’ll switch a couple things around, but 95% of the time you can literally cut my replies pretty into these parts without too much trouble. Also yall should go check out the people in these example threads because they’re all very talented and worth interacting with!! 

13). What do you look for in an RP partner?

Hmm.... An excellent question let’s see...

Typically, these are things that make or break rp relationships:

Have concise rules/ooc pages that includes information such as their name, their pronouns, their age and their triggers. For certain fandoms, I also tend to look for stances on certain major discourse points.

Have the ability to para or multi-para threads and 3rd person POV. We don’t have to always do this, but I do really prefer this kind of RP.

Have the ability to participate in joke/crack posting

Read my character info or at least my rules before interacting with me. I know they are long and tedious and that I tend to ramble, but there are some important things in there that may vastly differ from many other people in the RPC and it’s important to me that everyone takes those things into account when engaging with me.

Have discord for OOC conversations and extended plotting or, at the very least, be comfortable chatting regularly via IM.

Follow me. It’s not necessary to interact with me and I 100% will interact with people who are not mutuals, but I typically tend to assume others around me are mutuals only regardless of whether or not they actually are and it’ll often put most of the responsibility on the other person to come interact with me if they want to thread.

I tend to main with people who will have OOC conversations with me about our characters and who are willing to adapt to fit into the settings / verses which I have already created for my characters. I am always seeking out familial relationships of ANY kind and will usually be quick to main people who do these kinds of threads with me. I do have ships for many of my characters that I tend to indulge in, but my mains tend to be people who actually get me to start shipping something because the characters just ended up vibing so well. I actually really love shipping my bi male characters with women, but there just really aren’t enough ladies in any of the RPCs to have lasting ships ;;y;;, so if we are able to get one going, I’d probably consider maining with ya’ll

I tend to like people who like continuous threads and verse building. I tend to like people who don’t mind having a million unfinished threads. I tend to gravitate to people who do formatting and icons, but I do not require it. I tend to shy away from people who are too self-concious about doubles or who tend to prefer being exclusive. 

Overall, I’m open to at least trying to rp with everyone! And I’ve definitely formed lasting friendships with people who did not meet many of this criteria, but in terms of what I look for this is probably a pretty good list.

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[wordsmeansomethingsometimes-blog]

A weird dream I had about my dad about a week ago

I just woke up from a weird dream. My dad and I attended one of my soccer games just as we would when I was a kid except I was 27 as I am now. The field was indoor and I was playing on a house league team. The field was connected to a No Frills and a large outdoor park with a path and a marina and boats.  They say that you never dream up original things, so I will have to assume that this building and park was a collection of scenes and architecture from many buildings and parks that I've seen in real life.

Anyway, in the dream I played a little bit for the team and I suppose I was surprised to find out that I still have relative skills to my peers of the same age despite not playing  for so many years. I discovered how out of shape and breath I was too. So I didn't play long before asking to come off...it was just a friendly game, kind of more of practice really than a game. When I came off I just ran off and then told one of these 2 black guys on my team “Im taking a break one of you should take over” and walked away with my dad as if I didn’t even care about the outcome of the rest of the game. We just left. I suppose if I were to do dream-analysis, it would be an interesting point that we just left. Never in my life have I actually done that in a game. Back at that age that I used to play soccer (14 and previous), I was a very competitive person, especially in sports.  I thought winning was all there was: the only thing that mattered.

I suppose when I first started smoking weed is when I realized that the competitive culture of sports is not always fun. Perhaps it was weed, perhaps it was puberty, and perhaps it was just what was going on in my head at that stage in my life.  Sometimes you're just sitting there on the bench because you thought you wanted to play professional which meant you thought you wanted to make it onto the best team possible.

So now you've tried out for this team 3 or 4 times and finally made it on, but you're one of the worst players on the team so now you spend most of your time on the bench. Not only does this hurt your pride, but it also makes you low down on the hierarchy of the team, which you are new to, so even though you're a social person, you don’t have many friends, and are too pubescent and awkward and shy to make friends. Some of the guys are even dicks and you resent the fact that you represent the same team as them. So what went from a fun experience of always having playing time and being respected and liked as one of the best players, what went from being social, is now this lonely, miserable experience and you retreat into your head and analyze people and their psychology as you sit there bored on the sidelines, hardly even able to concentrate on the game or its outcome, because you've never known what it was like to be a benchwarmer until now. Come to think of it, I had a lot of experiences like that when I was young, where I got to see how being on the bottom felt like, even though I was used to being fortunate enough to be on the top in pretty much every other domain.  Long story short, I think something hallucinogenic like marijuana combined with puberty is the perfect situation to open a young man's eyes to different aspects of consciousness and reality that he had not yet focussed on before.

We then walked directly from the field around a corner into the No Frills. We went to the Aisle with the Sodas and I got 2 waters for us and my dad asked If I wanted to buy a soccer ball for us to kick around outside. I said “yeah sure okay I guess, but I bought a brand new ball last summer, so I don't really need it”. “That's okay we'll get it anyway. I'll pay”. I knew that he didn't want to buy a ball or buy me a ball, he simply wanted to kick the ball around with me outside for my sake completely, maybe for nostalgia or maybe he never really enjoyed such things but did them because he thinks I liked them.  I remember as a kid that my dad never looked like he really enjoyed playing sports, he merely did it to make us happy. He's never been very athletic, as my mom and her whole side of the family are.  

Our conversation was awkward and limited but I felt no anxiety, I felt the same way I had felt about my dad for a long time, that I could be honest with him, unlike I usually could with my mom or even most people I've met in my life. He asked me if I like this team, I said I barely even show up to the games or practices and that the coach was lazy and had cancelled all the practices at some point.   I told him last season I signed up but never showed up to anything. As we were walking along the path to the outdoor soccer field to kick the ball around, we passed a few boats at the marina but I didn’t pay attention to them. We kicked the ball around, and I exerted myself a little bit doing some fancied dribbling and ball control, which I wanted to see if I could still do, but also wanted to show my dad I could still do. I exerted myself a little more than I should have, as I usually do at this age. I haven't come to realize yet how much my metabolism and body has slowed down and changed.  My dad exerted himself a little too much too, even though he didn’t really do anything but kick the ball back to me.  So we realized we were tired and needed some more cold drinks and maybe some blood-sugar so we needed juice or pops, and decided to walk back to the No Frills. This was typical of my dad and our limited outings with him as children. We always went to dinner and then went to some park and kicked a ball around but my dad always wanted to leave the park after like 10 or 15 minutes and usually at least I, if not my brother too, wanted to play more than 15 minutes, and found it ridiculous to even drive out of the way to a park to only play for 15 minutes. But we never protested or complained, as me might have done with my mom. Looking back, the reason we never protested or complained was this unspoken principle that my brother must have experienced but I didn't but he somehow passed on to me which was “if you ask him for too much or bother him too much he’ll just leave completely and then you won't have ANY outings or any fun at all, so some fun is better than nothing”. It was always weird, how I didn't complain to him, as the youngest, about such things, but somehow knew I shouldnt. Anyway, we walked back to the No Frills, and on the way I noticed that 3 or 4 of 8 or so boats in the small Marina pond were actually Honda Civics converted into boats. I said to my dad “you see that? Those are actually civics” as if I thought it was cool or interesting. My dad said “yeah but...to me..if you're going to be outside on a boat on such a nice day, you want to be able to see everything around you 360 degrees”. I said “yeah I guess that's true” in a “oh shit, I guess I hadn’t really thought of that”. It was one of the rare moments me and my dad had a typical dad to son moment that was mutually beneficial and not filled with any hard feelings from either side. In fact, the whole 1 or 2 hours that we spent together was like this. So we go back in the No Frills, and I know we want cold drinks, like pops.  We buy some from the machine. My dad puts in a 20 dollar bill and immediately all the change comes out in loonies and toonies, which I bent down to pick up for him.  There's a basket with these drinks from some obviously third-world country like India, that advertise that they have small amounts of Methamphetamine in them. Like lime-flavoured, meth-energy drinks.  I pause for a second because I don't believe my eyes, and pick one up. My dad is like “are you kidding me? Don't drink those...do you know what those are? If you've been working like 30 hours and you're dead those will spring you back to life but probably give you a heart attack or something”. My mind flashed to a video I’d seen of some guy in Thailand on meth, where the title was “thai work conditions so harsh that ordinary people resort to crystal meth just to function in their daily work lives.  I have no idea why this whole thing popped into my dream, and what it symbolizes. My dad has never tried very hard to warn me about any specific drugs or anything like that. He's never liked me smoking weed, and he wasn't happy when he found out through the grapevine that I had tied other things once or twice, but he’s also never really tried to lecture me about anything. As unnatural a parent as he has always seemed to be, once I saw myself as an adult he became useful to me as a parent, whereas my mom stopped being useful. It was like she couldn't bear to see me as a potential equal or adult, she has and still does maintain that I'm a kid and takes this “you need to be told you poor thing” tone with me, all the time. I said “yeah, yeah, I know. I’d never want those.” And then we took the elevator down to the underground car-park, so he could drive me home. I guess I’d gotten there on my own, without my car, and we’d met, I don't know. When we came out in the underground, I saw that it stretched for like 500 metres, really long, surprisingly long for a simple no frills with a small indoor soccer court attached. I said “holy shit...this parking is big” My dad said “yeah. It's bigger than banks ones even. And they have the biggest” or something like that. And then I woke up.  It was weird. There was just so much random stuff going on, that I don’t know what it symbolizes. I'm not used to having dreams, as THC suppresses REM sleep, and I smoke weed every night. I will continue to write about the ones that I do remember.