#im v proud of myself for this tbh

[kkuline]

stage #03: hope

[bluecaeriart]

Fireflies

My piece for the Fragile Dreams 15th anniversary project I hosted this year over at @lunarhillfunland !!!! It's been such an honor getting to host another event like this for this fandom and with so many amazing people. This game has impacted my life in so many ways even 15 years later and I'm glad I got to dedicate another piece to it ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ Please come check out everyone's incredible pieces and celebrate with us!!

[eldritch-nightmare]

doing a good job multitasking today i think im like. working on a bot, w like three others planned, working on cross-posting the scenarios book to wattpad bc why not, working on one of my wips here and listening to music.

this is the most ive done in like. weeks.

[myriadsystem]

Todays insomnia bought to you by a crochet bucket hat that also has cat ears.

[clueless1995]

TRYING

[campbell-rose]

Im demented I spent three days on this shitty flipaclip animatic for a show I don't even like but at least my redesigns look crisp lmao

Edit: Also any part where Charlie interacts with V is my favorite, especially when she bumps into her i'm very proud of that. And now I'm in a better mood than when i posted this, and i can explain some choices. My main thing with this was making it less dizzying, that's one thing i can't stand about hazbin, the camera won't stay still for five seconds. holding on a shot can work but they won't and it's so hard to follow. I think mine is much better in that regard.

Okay second Edit: I wanted to brag about some things i did. So i tried to make Adam take up as much of the frame as possible, most of the shots are from Charlie's perspective and show him looming over her, even when she isn't in frame i wanted the viewer to feel like they're her - he's staring down at the camera and the angles are low. Especially when he gets on her level and shoves himself in her personal space which i tried to have him do as often as possible. I wanted him to come off as domineering and a total jackass. Tbh Adam was actually a character i found myself enjoying in the show and now that he's dead idk how tf i'm gonna make myself sit through season 2.

ALSO Charlie's pose at the beginning where she's trying to reprise happy day in hell is mirrored by Adam later when he first says hell is forever and not to suck my own dick or anything but i thought i was very clever for that

[moonjxsung]

hi hi bb! how are you?

i’m so glad that you don’t mind my shinee commentary bc i also don’t know any shawols(or stays tbh, this is how i get my kpop fix)😭 onew is suchhhh a humble king, literally can’t believe that he got fanmail so soon as if he isn’t in one of the most successful kpop group ever. the first time i heard about shinee was in like 2010 or 2011 (which was very soon for PR tbh, aquí lo que había en ese momento era just reggaeton). and i was so baffled at the fact that nobody liked kpop here. so yeah onew, you’re the real deal!! i’m so happy that he’s getting the love he deserves💜and i can’t wait to see his comeback! i’m so excited! and the antique shop matching necklaces from Monterey☹️ that is so cute!! (idk if you already went but have fun!! and if you did, i hope you had fun!! Monterey sounds so nice!). i bet that he’ll be so grateful with your super care package! pls let me know what you send him!!!

i got my second iced coffee of the week💁🏻‍♀️ and a macadamia cookie, i was working on this very tedious assignment most of the day yesterday and after i finished i was like “treat yourself”. i’ve really been eating super terribly lately and i hate myself for it😭

your pc of the day!!! your bag!!! your chan sweater!! that’s soooo pretty! i love how they all match too! i forgot to get my pc of the day yesterday too. (i was at my bfs house and his little cousin/nephews were there and the younger one who’s 5 just comes up to me and asks “who’s this?” and i was like “lee know” and he’s just like “why do you have that there?” and i was like “good question bro, idek, it’s just fulfilling”.

i love you so much angel🫶🏻 i hope your weekend is going so great and you have time to relax as well!!

-🐈‍⬛

HI BABYYYYY I MISSED YOUUUUUU 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Can you BELIEVE how active Onew’s been this week and his company already arranged his first FANMEET??????? SCREAMINGGGGGGG I am beyond jealous of anyone who gets to go frfr ☹️ manifesting Shinee stuff in the US sooooo hard I literally have to see them before I die. Or I will simply die 😔 I’m still on the hunt for cute necklaces or keychains for us or something, but I DID get him the cutest little glass whale charm bc In the Whale is my favorite kpop song of allllll time and I’m so excited to mail it to him so that we have matching ones 😭 I LOOOOVE ONEW IM GOING INSANEEEE AHHHH I’ll keep you posted on the jewelry we get tho !!!!

I think the only thing that kept me going this whole week was the iced coffee trips tbh 🤕 it was such a WEEEEK……. But I’m so glad it’s finally Friday 👼 we’re having a streaming party for Ateez’s Coachella set tonight so we ordered so much food and baked cookies and dragged our Ateez pcs around everywhere like all week I am sooo excited !! Still so bummed I couldn’t see them at Coachella but I’m so proud of how far they’ve come and the setlist looks INSANEEE ahhhh Hongjoong my beloved 🫶

Pc pics just for you from today’s coffee run ofcccc 💖🫶 I love you sweet angel I hope you had the best week!!!!!!!!!!! Sending all my love as alwayssss (also your answer to your nephew is SO valid LMAOOOO Lee Know is indeed v fulfilling ‼️‼️)

[dykeza]

FILENAME: I despise thee, who holds thine heart within his fist.

NOTES: ITS FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS DONE ITS OVER WITH GODLESS ANIMAL/DARLING ADORED/I DESPISE THEE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD, ive tried to conceptualize this piece for WEEKS, i actually planned on posting it aishin -> urazen -> urashin BUT i cannot help myself i had to give the people (me and the other urashin enjoyers) something to chew on. Originally, this piece wasn't supposed to look like this At All it was supposed to be much more..... idk, boring. It looked boring and had too much going on (RIP rope you shall not be missed).

Then, one night recently, I was like "what if it was a hug." because WHAT IF it was a HUG. This composition feels much more on par w/ this series, extremely close glimpses of saints and tragedy holding each other close, studying and committing the moment to memory. Just in case.

But back to this piece solely, I knew in my second concept (which i didnt post) that i wanted to incorporate the cross seals from Godless Animal, both as a "fuck you get sealed" and also as a catalyst for being completely and totally Enraptured with someone. The slight difference is of course Kisuke stabbing himself And Aizen, which is mostly just symbolism about how much Kisuke devalues and objectifies himself. He is not a person, a victim of circumstance; he is a defective shield, something rusted and shattering at the slightest strain, and he has failed to do his job. I covered Aizen's face because i didnt want to draw it, tbfh..... but it can also be a callback to Shinji's mask in the other two pieces. ONE THING, however, that i'm v proud of is the hogyoku (im on desktop so excuse my no-accent writing), as it stands in for the halos/suns found in the other pieces. Nothing about two-way subjugation and submission is holy, this piece is not one of silent dissection (godless animal), and not one of blind reverence (darling adored). Its one of desperation and Apology. Idk. its the last installation so im a little sentimental HAHAHHA.

Working on these pieces, conceptualizing new ways to consume and create these characters was so fun. I had so much fun creating these works without really talking about them or their process, simply creating and putting out little subsections of my art. I don't work digitally very often, and i dont use color (besides hues of gray) in my traditional work, so when i get the chance i really try to exercise my color theory brain. Rose x Kanaya colors, im not sorry. goth Freudian-slip girl to aizen enjoyer pipeline is REAL and i am a victim of it.

Genuinely, thank you for all the notes and comments on my other pieces, both from this collection and just towards my art and writing in general. I get so excited to read all of your comments and notes and reblogs, it does so much for my drive to create. If it weren't for some close friends and mutuals, I don't know if I'd even post my work online for anyone except myself and the..... lemme check......... ONE THOUSAND AND FIFTY-THREE OF YOU WHO FOLLOW ME. what the FUCK. Anyways, this rant is getting too long and i have GOTTTT to post this soon so i can acquire sweet sweet sweet compliments on it tbh. I love you all and again thank you <3 - DYKEZA

[hinamie]

oh my god ok so i know im late I didn't talk about it because it happened during one of my Offline Eras but . but listen ok lisn the new former vandal album sent me THROUgh the FUCKINNG ROOF to be fair i knew it would like i joked about going upstairs to listen to it and cry when it dropped but i didn't think that every fucking song would hit me so hard in the kokoro it made me wail because I too have immense religious guilt ANYWAY im gonna rant incoherently and at length now hope u all missed me

ok first of all gotta shout out the fuckin album title i knew it was gonna be devastating when I saw it . fuckin. divine interference????? music for god's playthings indeed i eat that shit up i was like yoooooo hes also got a bone to pick with jesus go off bestie <333

so former vandal are artists visionaries kings so ofc tracklist is all mythology n religion-inspired (lazarus/goliath/ouroboros etc) and i think its so cool that theyre all in caps until u get to the end and the final song is denial and it's in lowercase and maybe its simple but i was like ART. ARTTTTTT. and it made me go back and look at the tracklist of their previous album and I realized that the whole thing was about vices and unhealthy coping with an overwhelming and forsaken existence but then the final song was Get Right (still my go-to comfort song to this day tbh tbh tbh) and it's like an acknowledgement that ok maybe none of this is the answer and something has to change anyway wrong album oops back 2 divine interference

i made a point of listening to the songs that hadnt been released as singles first so the first song i listened to was Lazarus and tbh probably my fav song on the album maybe tied with parables and maaaaybe even icarian. BUT LAZARUS SLAPS SOS SOSOOSO HARD god the theme of not knowing how to leave something behind even when it's bad for you,,, both criticizing but also mirroring the actual story of lazarus in the lyrics being like "wow kinda fucked up of god for resurrecting u without ur consent" but also acknowledging that he himself is guilty of holding onto the things that kill him.,,, GOD ITS SO FUCKING G GOOD I FDFGSADFGDG

salt also !!! BANGER not quite up there with the likes of lazarus but it gets bonus points because a. i lov the idea of starting to recognize that you're coming into yourself n an identity apart from your vices n traumas and b. for having two of the most RAW lines in the entire album imo which is reaaallly saying something: "now that everything's bright I guess I'm fine/but there's an art in the dark that took years to refine" and "the spark of divine intervention/that I'm still terrified I've left behind" (ALBUM TITLE DROP ALBUM TITLE DROP) god these two just dont miss and i love it but i am far too neurodivergent to contain myself they need to give me a break pls i am v i b r a t i n g

ok gonna move into the Chill(tm) tracks I think with goliath as well as shame/rotten I vibe more with the lyrics than the actual songs because i prefer my angsty alt pop to be Upbeat thank u very much but can i just say. the lyrics of these two songs ESPECIALLY SHAME/ROTTEN LIKE ok first of all i love the tonal shift halfway through that manages not to make them feel like completely different songs it's just jarring enough like there's been an acceptance of sorts,, like omg same i too am like 'god i feel like the scum of the earth might as well own it a bit',, "the fear of god/the need for blame" fuckin bullseye ow,, "I starve to feed the parts of me/far from who i oughta be/tell me are you proud of me yet?" FUCKIN BULLSEYE OWW

I know i just said i prefer my angst upbeat but crocodile tears (very upbeat very rock wuaw) is probably my least favourite track if i had to pick but it does have a lyrical BANGER of an opening verse ("holding the hand that's holding me under" g o d) i think i just don't dig the overall melody too much and find the ending a bit repetitive fr my tastes,, who knows though it took a while and many re-listens for ouroboros to grow on me maybe this'll b a similar story ,, but then again ouroboros had the advantage of echoing mine own mental health and self-destructive behaviours shdgj

ok so i was crying from the beginning right but the songs that made me ugly bawl were growing pains (very similar vibes to get right but in a "i know that i'm healing" way rather than a "i need to heal" way) and denial,, but starting w growing pains,, my god idk What they did with the mic/vocals after the bridge but it felt like the music was being injected directly into my ears secret direct path 2 my bloodstream god I hadnt felt chills like that in such a long time and idk just the whole Mood of the song having been hurting for so long and only now starting to recognize the damage you've done but also appreciate the progress youv made,,, i have so so many emotions but DENIAL (its funny saying it in caps bc its the only track in lowercase getit getit) oh my god ths going straight on the list of Songs That Make Me Think About My Relationship With My Dad but also Songs That Make Me Emo About All The People I've Grown Apart From and i think its so powerful to frame a personal transition away from faith as growing apart from an old friend and missing them despite any hard feelings holy shit though holy shit . the first listen by this point i had already been emotionally devastated by the Whole Album so i was like ok surely ill get a break by the last song lol nope sorry i ended up crying so hard i think i gave myself a headache

I think I must have yelled about the songs that they released as singles when they dropped individually but it's been so long that i forget what i said but honestly parables and icarian are still just as good as when i heard them for the first time (when parables dropped i spilled my tea on my fucking notes bc i was vibing too hard),, I love parables' msg of accepting the lessons ur (traumatic) past taught u and how it shaped u as a person even if u recognize that that person is someone hurt and in need of healing and maybe that has to happen alone! and i know for a fact i've gushed about icarian (still one of the most gojocore songs Ever imho dont fight me on this) but now looking at it in the context of the rest of the album i love that it's first cause it really frames the whole icarus thing of having flown too close to the sun or to god and getting burned and that pain essentially being the catalyst for the entire Journey tht the rest of the album outlines (obsessed w the fact that the next song is jaded like fr having these two songs one after the other is literally "fucked around/found out" gsfhjsh)

but all that being said not to b dramatic but this album destroyed me it rearranged something deep in my soul and i don't know who i was before it but i probably wont ever be the same :) i literally love these two so much im so appreciative of them its so rare to feel so Seen by a piece of media so to have an entire album hit so incredibly close to home for me and slap while doing so????? i feel so lucky . this entire album feels like taking the first step to address years of hurt and self destruction it feels like losing a friend it feels like finding yourself and i just . i love it so much

[utahimeow]

char!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 you are so sweet, so fun!! hot girl energy i think!!! i adore your fashion sense!! 🥹

as a year end pick, my favourite read from you is: swan song bc omg the way my eyes widened reading that 😭😭 fr healed my soul

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

sel <333 tysm for being soooo supportive of my writing this year, uve had a huge effect on me as an author from the lovely feedback u always give 😭💓 im so glad u enjoyed swan song!!! it was a pleasure to write,,, i also want to thank U for posting ur beautiful writing especially col, u should be so proud of urself for it 🥹

i won’t go into too much detail since a lot of it’s quite personal but ive had many many many good things happen to me this year and now that i think of it 2023 may have been one of the most productive years of my life? not necessarily in terms of accomplishments but i discovered many things about myself, finally figured out what i’d like to do after college (which is a huge deal for me), took some huge steps towards improving my mental health (and it’s paying off!!) to name a few! i went on some amazing trips abroad and got to meet rika not once but TWICE. its also been such a good year for my writing i think, ive posted some stuff im super proud of and have been able to realise how much ive improved as an author and that’s something im v grateful for. i don’t tend to make any resolutions tbh i feel like it’s too much pressure 😭 BUT i do always tell myself that it’s a new year which means itll be full of new opportunities and generally try to be super optimistic for the year ahead !!

hope u have an amazing new year sel 💗💓💗

[d4iryqueen]

update: my mom did in fact intervene in a way. she pointed out how skinny i got over 2 weeks (they were v stressful for my whole family, especially me n my mom and she knows abt my ed so she figured it out quickly). what happened is that i have noticed my bones sticking out more and abs showing (for the 1st time in my life!), but my weight stayed the same thoughout, so i thought im just unsure of what i actually look like and/or am imagining it because i wish i looked like that. but because she keeps on talking about how i look really thin and …unattractive (she fr still thinks eds develop bc people want to be skinny bc skinny=pretty????)…. i actually accepted that i really am that thin. that my ribs are actually showing. that my hip bones do in fact protrude from my pants. and i love it. however, as much as i adore this, it made me feel “safe” in my eating? idk… i had shitty ass sleep bc i felt quite sick after yesterdays dinner, i slept only for 4 hrs max which is v little for me. so i was extremely tired today, took a caffeine pill and drank an energy drink on an empty stomach in the morning and went to school. i kinda overdosed on the caffeine, yeah :/. but i ended up having a v successful day, i did more than i thought i’d be able to with how tired i was/am. soooo… i allowed myself to eat basically anything i want until im not hungry anymore. i didnt have a plan today bc i simply focused on not being extra tweaked out or passing out in school and was nauseous so i literally didnt think about food at all in that way.

to make this long story short : i ate 2085 calories worth of food that i didnt plan and im glad that i didnt binge, but also im shocked by how easily my behavior got influenced by someone i truly love and care about.

its not a bad thing and in the end, i cant be *always* in a deficit realistically, plus if im in a plateau maybe it’ll help? even if i would gain (which i truly dont think i will) then id still be skinny af. and … it feels quite good tbh. im proud of myself for getting here and actually recognising it (nothing hurts more than seeing pics of you at lw and remembering you used to believe you were too large), but im also not proud of myself for letting go today. extremely proud of myself for not even thinking about binging tho. like i just ate like a normal person for 1 meal (dinner, as lunch was high cal safe food combos, which still contained much more things and cals than what id allow myself on a normal day). im having mixed feelings. but im also content. tomorrow? who knows what approach ill take towards my diet. and idk how ill feel about today when tomorrow comes, either. but for now, i just want to sleep. im gonna maybe reblog a bit, but ultimately im gonna take a sleeping pill to finally slee through the whole night and r e s t my body cos i need it.

[guavagyu]

HI RAVEN SINCE YOU LOVE WRITING ABT TALL READER SO MUCH HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABT WRITING CAR SEX WITH MINGYU?? LIKE IMAGINE THE STRUGGLE THEY WILL GO THRU😩🤚 -🦩

IM SO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO LEAVE THIS UNANSWERED FOR SO LONG (its been months 😐 im not proud of myself.)

but..yes..very much. i want to write smth like that so so much, but i just have so little inspiration yk 💪😜

so instead of blowing out a full blown fic, i’ll just give u this:

smutty stuff under the cut, if ur under 18 pls see the door 👉 🚪

contents: gn!reader, tall!reader, no d/s dynamics but being on top/bottom is mentioned, p in v sex, unprotected sex (no.), humor ig 😭, fluff, mentions of bruises!! (u arent hurting each other, its car vs u two), just u two being dumb <3

so if you were on top, you’d be free from slightly uncomfortable seats and (most) hard materials

which tbh, isnt that good either, considering you’d either have to break ur neck from hitting the top of the car so much, or suffer extreme cramps. pick ur poison.

like you’d just be riding him casually, but if you bounced even a smidge too hard, thump and boom, head equals pain.

but if mingyu was on top and trying his best to pound into u like no tomorrow, you’d throw ur head back (cuz mingyu has that top tier stroke game 💪) and your head would either collide with leather, metal, or glass. none are THAT desirable (unless ur into that idk)

now for mingyu..oh god help this man pls 🙏

he’d struggle so much, please help he’d get too lost into u and be so close and alakazam!! he’d whack some part of his body against a part of the stupid car you two were in.

and he’d pout and whine SO much

“y/nnnn, my shoulder hurts,” ugh i need me a mingyu.

it’s smth like that or “ugh, why did we choose to do this?”

uh, no. YOU chose to do this. mingyu is just horny 24/7 when he’s around u 😔😔

basically you two would either endure the pain and return home with a bunch of bruises and pain, or give up partway thru and go at it on a much less painful bed 🫶

[dreeamsbff]

Hi, Tommy! I hope you’re well 😊 I’ll admit, I’m kinda concerned for you… it sounds like Dream scares you a lot, but he still managed to convince you he’s your friend. Have you heard of the saying “friends aren’t scared of each other”? If Dream terrifies you, I genuinely don’t think he’s a very good friend 🥲 Leading on from that: apart from anything concerning Dream, how are you honestly feeling within yourself? If it’s less than positive, have you considered that perhaps Dream’s behaviour makes it worse rather than better, despite what he might say? I’m sorry if all this overwhelms you, but I just want to make sure you’re safe and happy. Keep holding on, Tommy, I promise things will get better! 💜

ELLO??? i'm v good, Dream stayed 15 minutes longer with metoday!!!!

wh. what are you tryna say by that??? OF COURSE, he's my friend- he STAYED when everyone esle had LEFT me!!! and he was patient w me even when I was acting up or being annoying- AND- and all he wantedto do was fix me so that i didn't bring ayn more problems!

UHM- i never thought of that before- are you 100% sure it's trye??? but- but Dream says it's just tough love and i need a healthy amount of fear to learn better whatever he wants me to. but I wish I could just... be friends w him WITHOUT being afraid of him every second- but i feel liek it's selfish and ungrateful of me, because he had done SO MUCH for me and all i still only feel scared and want to escape :(((

UHHH ITS NOT GREAT- I HATE ADN BLAME MYSELF ALL THE TIME and think that maybe JUST MAYBE if i wasn't as annoying in the beginning, Dream would've liked me more... i dont think he lieks me now and. when he's especially mad i often think he hates me- he keeps repeatimg he's my friend, so maybe theres nothing 2 worry about BUT STILL????

ughhhh i mean it's a possibility??? lately, i noticed that his rules got even more absurd and he punisged me for no reason at all??? and i noticed that every time the punishment is over, he presses on my wonds real hard and chuckles- I DONT INDERSTAND WHY- lmaybe he's just proud that i'm getting better??? I ADMIT IT IS PRETTY WEIRD But i dont think he does that because he's a bad person!!!! still, im starting to doubt his good intentions tbh- and it scares me. i'll have to look more into it because it seens really sketchy...

ohhh thank you, i realky hopd things get better soon!!

[gothedrals]

im so happy for u that ur doing better and v proud !! <3

thank you 🥺 I’m v proud of myself too tbh

[pinkiepiebones]

I will send u love, tho i cant write it in a characters voice, so ill just say im proud of u too, and u deserve that doll, do tell what one u get <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That's okay, I appreciate you!!!

As for doll

So I was a big Monster High person back in the day- I still am, tbh. But back in the day, when you couldn't take three steps in a store without seeing something monstrous, I would constantly talk myself out of certain dolls. I guess I wanted to focus on just one or two characters; I didn't have the space for displaying e v e r y doll (I was obvs focused on Ghoulia but I also had quite a few Clawdeens. She had a lot of purple so yeah).

Anyway, years later, I'm an adult- uh, moreso than I was, I guess- and dammit I'm getting the mermaids. The three new girls in the mermaid line were WILD- one had two heads! One had four arms! One... well, I'm still not sure what is going on with her but I need the full set.

So first I got Peri and Pearl (daughters of the Hydra).

Their tail can fold to double as a stand! They have scales! They have TWO HEADS!!! I managed to find them on ebay with all their jewelry intact (earrings are usu. the first things to be lost)

Next was Kala Mer'ri, daughter of [REDACTED]

Kala's having four arms was always so cool to me... her squid tail also gives her the widest hips of all the MH characters which is a whole Mood lol. I got her off ebay too, all jewelry intact. Her tentacles act as a stand and can rotate and her fingers have suction cups and her arms are segmented alfrpndndsod so pretty purple squid girl

and then yesterday I got the final girl, Posea Reef, daughter of Poseidon*

She always seemed to me the most ""normal"" of the three, what with the one head and two arms, but she's got this kinda "I AM the coral reef" vibe what with her tail being made of seaweed and her body jewelry and the little fish and crabs tangled in her seaweed... I'm starting to digit. and her body sculpt has these intricate... bump scars? idk what to call them but it's beautiful

So yeah, by next week I'll have all the mermaids (excluding the main cast girls who got turned in to mermaids for this story line; my goal was the "real" mermaids lol)

I ALSO treated myself to Gooliope Jellington, daughter of "Unknown" (it's the Blob), the first of Monster High's 17inch tall dolls with more flexibility~

I didn't get her NIB but I'm posting the in-box image to show the care that went in to her- look at how she's posed in there! Clearly too big for the standard box! And the plastic, made to look like it's breaking, she can't be contained! She's a circus freak, wearing an old circus tent as a dress, wagon wheels for earrings, parts of an organ for a crown, SKELETAL CAROUSEL HORSES MAKE HER HEELS!!! Her hair looks like cotton candy, her eyes have a shine shaped like a radiation symbol, her pink body has the tiniest shimmer, her limbs have little drips like she is melting... she's also got more joints, including a torso joint, allowing for greater pose options. Here she is holding a regular MH doll

and here she is dunking sick baskets on the court

So yeah I'm getting the dolls I denied myself back in the day 💖💀👍

[sagemoderocklee]

god what do you expect it’s me in ur inbox again with letters (F, J for Kado ooh what a surprise, N, U, V, Z) ok that’s one reblorb i’m gonna be back in 2 minutes with others

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

snippet from the most recent chapter of Absolution:

this exchange im proud of because it's really charged and honestly it's just a challenge, but a good one, to write Lee so... well, mean. i think deep down beneath all that politeness and genuine kindness, Lee has a mean streak from a childhood of being bullied and told he was less than, but that's not often talked about in fandom and honestly it's not like he ever got to rlly have any depth in the series so it's fun to write him like this. difficult but fun. and there's something very delicious about lee and gaara having a verbal sparring match so to speak

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

oh man an alternate ending to kado... that's a hard one cause i feel like any sort of alternate ending would have to be them like not getting together? but the whole purpose of kado was to have a sweet lil romcom with some intense miscommunication but an overall happy ending.

i guess a possible alternative ending could have been gaara making the arrangement lee had ordered but instead of going to the banquet for gai he just puts it in the shops window and lee sees it on his way to work after having not spoken to gaara for a while and he kinda dithers around looking at the arrangement, trying to decide if this was like gaara's way of telling him he feels the same or what???

like i forget exactly if lee paid for it right away but i know either way gaara wasn't gonna make him pay so if lee had already paid gaara would have canceled the transaction which lee would have seen and taken as gaara refusing his request as well as just a general rejection. so then he'd like see the arrangement he requested and there'd be a lil sign saying it wasn't for sale so he'd have to go in and confront gaara. he'd find gaara in back in the greenhouse and they'd just look at each other and then i dunno run towards each other as the misters turn on and they'd kiss. something super like romcom-esque.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

No. Absolutely not. I am incredibly possessive of my fics and very particular in how things are executed. I have very specific things I wanna see and I know that my niche of political dramas isn't like everyone's bag but it's mine and i would rather do it myself tbh.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@ghoste-catte @jessicamiriamdrew

struggling to think of a third person mostly because im terrible at usernames, but both greyson and miriam are incredible writers, both inspire me a great deal (and spark a healthy dose of writer-envy!)

greyson's ability to churn out fics is absolutely incredible and they just have such brilliant ideas. and miriam... god what a fucking way with words. miriam can do more in 500 words than most ppl can do with 5,000, which is such an incredible skill to have. brevity truly is the soul of wit lol

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

i... cannot think of anything. honestly i think i just feel weird about the idea of writing someone else's fic? like even if it's a sequel to a fic and the author was like please write this for me, i think i'd just be like weirded out by it because it's not my idea and what they envision versus what i envision is gonna be different. i guess if it was like a collaborative effort i'd feel less weird about it.but i cannot think of any fics i'd jump at the chance to work on the sequel for.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

i have never shied away from character death and never will. like i get people who don't wanna write or read it or what have you, but it's just... not my bag. if a story needs death, a story needs death. it's a part of life and i think that culturally speaking there's a lot of unhealthy attitudes towards death and coping with death, and i'm less of a "fiction as escapism" person and more of a "fiction as a tool for conveying something and commentating on it" whether that's political or emotional or cultural. i think forms of art are the desire for human connection, for sharing yourself with others and creating community. it's an "i see you within myself, do you see me in yourself?"

you have an experience and you put it into art, and other ppl go "wow i feel the same"

and i think death and the way that the western world copes with death feels often very divorced from true acceptance. my mom died when i was a teenager from cancer, and i still struggle with that as an adult almost 20 years later. writing about death is a way to cope and figure out what her death means. it's a way to look back on the person it made me immediately after and the person i could have become vs the person i became.

so while i get everyone has like limits to things and death is traumatic and ppl don't always wanna read it, i think death is a part of life and must also be a part of art. we live and we die. a story cannot be without an ending, and sometimes that ending is death.

and no, at this point, there are no characters whose deaths i cannot tolerate. if the story necessitates a specific characters death, then that character will die. i will never, however, write death as a means of emotional torture porn or anything like that.