#im writing it on my phone so it's hard to reread lol

[bitegore]

@cleverthylacine re: this post and particularly the bit about reparative readings

(I think we're getting off topic and wanted to avoid clogging OP's feed lol)

I think there's a tendency toward what I can really only describe as call-to-action-to-Fix-Fandom attitudes when it comes to discussing any kind of -isms in fandom when, like. in my view it doesn't actually do anyone any good. Fandom is very big and people are small and largely the biases in society will be reflected in fandom no matter what we as individuals are up to, especially if we're up in arms because of A Post (fleeting, unserious motivation). I prefer to look at common forms of fannish misogyny where it crops up in my own behavior as an indicator of actual attitudes rather than some sort of checklist of Things To Fix In My Fannish Output. I care way, way more about treating the actual women in my life with respect and care than I do about the female fictional characters I think are fun to write about, you know?

So I like really don't trouble myself over whether or not I'm trying half as hard to read into female fictional characters as their make counterparts, I'm with you on that. Fandom is full of people who are enjoying their fictional women because they like them and not out of some misplaced sense of obligation. When I start doing fic and art with female characters it's because I like the characters, not because I'm compensating. But I like having discrepancies pointed out because it helps me set my barometer for what I might be fucking up with my actual friends and acquaintances in real life, which I think is a lot more important and generally relevant to my life anyway.

This is a lot of words to say 'i'm with you' - not only do i think no one should be obligated to do reparative readings on female characters just because it 'evens it out' or w/e, but honestly I think it's an active distraction from the part of the problem worth caring about, which is that it shows a bias in thinking.

I don't really know. As much as I enjoy fandom and it's a big part of my life, I'm pretty intimately aware it's not that important on the grand scale of things. And as much as I enjoy fiction, i'm of the impression that it reveals more about us than we think it does, so even if you do everything on the list to Eradicate All Traces Of Misogyny, the misogyny will keep sneaking back in until you just... are not writing women with misogyny in your heart and mind. It's a barometer for personal improvement more than anything else, the way I look at things. And certainly in concept but I'd like to also hope in reality, I like having the knowledge toward where I can try to be better instead of flying blind. If I stop being misogynistic, then my fic will be less misogynistic too, but like, I have so many better reasons to not want to be misogynistic!

I also think pressuring people to change the things they have fun with for the sake of Not Being a Bigot (prescriptive, & according to my handy-dandy list which I will hand down from on high...) tends to piss me specifically off, and I like to live by a standard of "not enough significant statistical variance from the mean exists in me to consider this a wholly unique behavior or attitude" so I would also assume that other people feel much the same way. So i also don't like to treat any "xyz is misogynistic" as a hard fast rule anyway, because then I'll get mad and start doing it out of spite while also aiming to make it not misogynistic somehow, which might spawn ideas but doesn't really do me or anyone else any good anyway. (That's definitely not a universal issue and i wouldn't be shocked if there are people who badly want the list because it makes them feel more comfortable writing or something; good for them, we're in totally different categories vis a vis fannish bigotry and how we can work on not doing it and the approaches we take will have to reflect that.)

I had one other thing but I think I forgot it. Uhhh something something it's harder to do reparative readings to compensate for misogynistic writing than it is to do it for flat writing with male characters because a lot of the time it either requires you to work with stereotypes you don't like or to outright dismiss elements of characterization and many of us don't want to do either, when background whiteguys tend to just have a handful of extremely neutral traits and nothing else; this is also part of why it can be hard to do the same for characters of color or characters that are clearly meant to be homophobic stereotypes or whatever, I won't fault anyone for not wanting to put their hands in that. nWFC Elita is a pretty good example of that, honestly - I don't remember a lot about the show because I didn't like it and i watched it one time several years ago lol, but I remember walking away with the impression we were supposed to think of her as Optimus's nagging wife, and annoying and overly negative, even though she was right on all counts every fucking time. I'm not writing nWFC-continuity fic because i have absolutely no interest in doing so, and I don't particularly want to carry that characterization over to any other continuity because - why would I? I like Elita-1 better in basically everything else, and she is broadly always Pretty Damn Competent (at least in theory). But in nWFC i can square the circle by comparing her cynicism to, like, Ratchet, who is equally convinced Optimus is making all the wrong moves. Suddenly she doesn't have to be the annoying nag, she's the last lone voice of real legitimate pushback in Autobot HQ, which has been bleeding dissenters as they're ignored, or whatever. And honestly I do like that. But contrast it with, uhhhh... trying to pick a random character here idk it's cheating if i pick bayverse characters... idk let me pick on IDW. If you want to work with the female character from All Hail Megatron, whose name I can't remember but who I genuinely liked, you have to deal with the fact that she falls head over heels for Spike fucking Witwicky right after meeting him and that her job is largely to deliver motivational speeches to the more important male background characters whose names I also can't remember. You absolutely can read depth into her, and I do because I think it's interesting that there's a character who lives through a horrifically traumatic upending of her life and then realizes that the only way everyone will survive is to stick together and immediately makes it her job to make sure they do, but, like, "woman exists as footstool for man's power & place in the plot" is one of the oldest misogynistic tropes in the book. I wouldn't blame literally anyone for not wanting to work around that, and it's... literally her entire role in the plot, so it's also really fucking hard to try and read out or compensate for. I genuinely do not think she even speaks to another woman in the entire comic. I think my point got muddied in the miles of examples; my thinking is that at the end of the day no one is getting paid for this and I don't think it's really an even playing field between male and female characters to reparatively-read-into anyway.

Last final thing is that the tropes that interest me in a character don't often tend to be done in female characters or when they're approached they take on distinctly misogynistic overtones. i really like characters who talk a big game, brag often, are deeply vain, and are not actually half as good as they claim they are... "woman thinks she has skills and is really good at things, but is Put In Her Place by a Man" is also one of my least favorite tropes ever. It's hard to work around that. There's just not much you can do when an entire concept has been all but poisoned for you.

inb4 "he said its ok to be a misogynist!" he said its important to focus on real life & fixing your heart first instead of hoping other people will tell you what not to write to look like you're not a misogynist ^-^

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Chatterbox (M, cold, 'drabble')

A little prompt-based fluff for you guys :) Reed and Greyson go out to dinner, but Reed realizes something is up when Greyson won't shut tf up lol. I'm loving writing this relationship, I can't lie, so sorry if it's too much Reed and Greyson lately - I'll get back to my other guys soon!

1.6K words (just a tiny lil blip of a story haha) CW: Male snz, coughing, fever, contagion mention. Hope you like it :)

Chatterbox

Reed looked down at his phone as he waited on Greyson, rereading the stream-of-consciousness texts his boyfriend had sent throughout the day.

Greyson

1:42PM

sooo pumped for tonight bb :)

1:56PM

should I wear a suit…? I know it’s a new spot but the website definitely reads ‘fine dining’, like fine-er than most of my clothes know how to be...

2:24PM

I think I’ll do dark jeans & a black button up. johnny cash style. cant go wrong w that. hahah.

3:17PM

I know ur working still but im just really excited to see you:):)

It was cute – borderline adorable – how nervous Greyson seemed for their dates, even after almost a year of the two of them being together. Reed had, of course, answered Greyson’s plethora texts throughout the day, but had tried to keep himself subdued so he wouldn’t give away his hand; tonight, he was going to ask Greyson to move in with him.

He knew it was a bit of a long time coming, but Reed was really trying to keep from scaring Greyson off by doing anything too quickly. His boyfriend certainly had a bit of past-relationship trauma that Reed tried valiantly to navigate; it was hard to figure out what the right time to do anything was. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure there was ever going to be a right time to push their relationship to the next level. But things had been good lately; like, really good. Tonight felt… right.

Greyson’s presence was palpable before Reed even saw him blow through the door. He looked up from his phone and clocked his boyfriend, standing out side the restaurant with his elbow locked over his face; Reed cocked his head a bit, confused. Was he… coughing?

The chef, clad in the Johnny-Cash-getup he’d promised, shook himself out before pushing the door to the restaurant open. He pawed at his nose with the back of his hand while asking the hostess to point Reed out – she gestured towards their table, and Greyson smiled when the two of them locked eyes. Reed waved, smiling back. Something was certainly… off.

“Sorry I’m late, baby,” Greyson said, kissing the top of Reed’s head before sitting across from him. “The fuckin’ train was running late again.”

“I’ve told you a million times I’ll come pick you up for dates,” Reed said, squeezing Greyson’s hand across the table. “You don’t always have to take the train.”

Greyson shrugged, smiled a little loopily. “I like the train,” he said, picking up his menu and squinting at the small font. “Lots of time to think. I’ve come up with my best dishes on the subway, I’m pretty sure; you remember that tart I made for the writer’s dinner, the one where we saw each other for the second time? Came up with that on the train. I was sitting next to this girl, probably a student, and she was eating one of those little egg tarts, the ones from the Japanese bakeries? I thought, damn I bet a root vegetable in one of those would fuckin’ slay – spoiler alert, it so did. Where would I have come up with that if not for the train? Plus, it’s one of the most sustainable ways to travel. I get my good karma for not actively killing the environment in. Win-win. What’re we eat – HTSHH! NXTSHH!” Greyson’s explosion of word vomit was very suddenly cut off to stifle two painful-sounding sneezes into the back of his hand.

Reed blinked for what was maybe the first time since his boyfriend sat down. “...bless,” he said after a beat. Greyson nodded, sniffled a little, and picked the menu back up.

“What’s this place’s thing anyway?” Greyson continued, flipping the menu over to look at drinks. “I can’t seem to figure it out; are they Italian? Mediterranean? Fine dining? Just high-end? No tasting menu, but prices are high enough to warrant one. Wine list reads very Italian, but there are like three dishes with hummus on them? I’m half-expecting to be served babaganoush bolognese. Which… maybe would work? Actually, eggplant, tomato sauce… I could see it working. You never know. Can’t judge a book by its menu, right? What’re you drinking? Want to get a bot -?”

This second monologue was cut short when Reed reached across the table to place a gentle hand on Greyson’s face. Just as he expected: hot.

“Babe,” Reed said gently, taking his hand back, “you’re burning up.”

The chef cast his glance down, embarrassed. “You weren’t supposed to figure that out till after dinner,” he muttered. Reed laughed.

“Seriously? You had to know I’d figure something was up. You’ve been monologing since the moment you sat down. Have you been sick all day? You should’ve told me, honey. How much cough medicine did you take before you showed up here?”

Greyson looked up at Reed and gave him a little half-smile. “Pretty sure I downed half a bottle of Robutusssin, not gonna liiii – hh! HhNXTSHH-ue! Huh-TSHH-ue!” Once again, Greyson attempted to stifle, to no avail. He allowed himself two painful little coughs before righting himself again.

“Bless you,” Reed said again. “I wish you would just sneeze normal, that always sounds so painful.”

“We’re in a restaurant,” Greyson said, a huskiness beginning to creep in to his voice. “That’s so gross.”

Reed rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Who cares? No one’s looking at us. They’re too busy with their many, many hummuses.”

A laugh bubbled out of Greyson, and with it came a flurry of congested coughs he directed into the sleeve of his shirt. “Don’t mbake me laugh,” he muttered, taking a drink of water. “You’re gonna get us kicked out.”

“Good,” Reed said, flagging the waiter. “I’m so sorry,” he said when the young, well-dressed server came to their table, “something’s come up and we’re going to have to go.” He handed the kid a fifty. “Thank you for your help.”

The server nodded, said thank you to Reed, and went to grab the two men’s jackets. Greyson raised an eyebrow, confused. “What’re you doing?”

“Taking you home,” Reed said. “You need tea and soup, not…” he glanced back down at the menu, “fattoush flatbread.” Greyson visibly deflated.

“I wanted to spend the evening with you,” he said, his voice subdued. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called and canceled, I just… I mbiss you when we don’t see each other all week. You’re always busy, I’mb always busy, it just fucking sucks. I don’t even know how I got fucking sick… oh wait, yes I do. Elijah had a cold last week – was that last week? Did I tell you that? I can’t remember. I think the servers gave it to him. Fuckin’ servers, I’ve never met a group of people who get sick mbore than theehh – huh! Fuck – HUHETSHHH-ue! Huh-! HhITSZZZCH-ue!” Greyson folded in half, his torso practically beneath the table in an attempt to keep the entire restaurant from hearing him. It was, of course, at that moment that the server returned with their coats. Reed took them silently, and stood to gather his boyfriend, who slowly unfurled himself from his own lap.

“Bless you,” he said, gently helping Greyson to his feet and slipping his coat over his shoulders. He lead the two of them past the host stand and onto the sidewalk, where he turned Greyson to face him.

“First of all,” he said, sweeping Greyson’s hair out of his eyes and caressing his cheek, “I know a subset of people who get sick more than servers, and it’s chefs. You and all your chef buddies are pestilence incarnate because you work nine hundred hours a week.” This prompted a little laugh from Greyson. Perfect, thought Reed. Break the tension.

“Secondly, yes, you did tell me that Elijah was sick, and I told you, and I quote, ‘Don’t get too close, I know you two love to share a cold’, but I know you don’t like to listen to authority, so not sure what I expected.” Another laugh. Greyson pushed his hair back, rubbed his nose, and pulled Reed in to hug him. Reed continued from this spot, pressed into Greyson’s shoulder.

“And thirdly,” he said, “I miss you too. All the time. Which is why I asked you out tonight.” He pulled away, reached into his pocket, and dropped a key into Greyson’s palm. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. I don’t want you to have to take the train from Brooklyn every single night, I don’t want us to hang out once a week, I don’t want to drop you at your apartment to take care of yourself. I want to see you when I wake up every morning. I want to hear you sneak in at three AM after you and Matt go clubbing. I want to take care of you, at home, when you’re sick.” Reed smiled, a little embarrassed, as Greyson stared at the key. “Move in with me,” Reed said. “Please.”

Greyson’s mouth opened, then shut without words a couple of times before he looked Reed in the eyes. “Yes,” he said, nodding. “Okay. Yes. Yes, please.”

Reed felt a smile bloom on his face, huge, goofy, unashamed. He took Greyson’s face in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. Greyson held his boyfriend by the waist, then picked him up to spin him around. “I love you,” Greyson muttered into Reed’s mouth.

“I love you more,” Reed said, smiling. Greyson turned away then, suddenly to -

“HRRSHH-ue! HhhITSHZZCH-ue!” he sneezed away from his boyfriend, which prompted a laugh from Reed.

“Probably too late for that nicety,” Reed joked, elbowing Greyson playfully. The chef huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes.

“I figured sneezing directly into your face would probably kill the moment,” he said, sniffling. “But I’ll go ahead and just do it next time.”

“Oh, shut up,” Reed laughed, kissing Greyson again. “C’mon. Let’s get you home and in bed. Sickie.”

Greyson smiled a little. “Yeah,” he said, looping his arm into Reed’s. “Let’s go home.”

[heliswife]

jake x a reader who hates him and avoids him because he reminds them of someone they hate but when they are forced to hang out they realize that they actually have a lot of chemistry…..,,. take ur time btw no rush

TBIS IS A FIRE IDEA ACTUALLY!!! TY POOKIE!!! those following for pjsk fics sorry but the brainrot is taking over <3 plus writing for other fandoms is a nice break from pjsk :3 this is a non-idol au thing ig 🤭

@onthat611beat hope you like it ♡

Your ex-friend used to have a massive crush on Jake. She would rant about him all the time, saying stuff such as "we were meant to be!" or "he looked at me, he wants me bad!"

You were sick of it, and by the time you cut contact with her, you didn't want to hear anything about Jake again. You avoided him in the halls and in your classes, memories of that friend coming back whenever you looked at him.

"Y/N! There's this guy I'm sort of interested in, and he wants to have a study group with us and some of his friends!" Your best friend and roommate grinned.

"Who is it?" You asked her, secretly praying it wasn't going to be a repeat of what happened with your ex-friend.

"His name is Riki, look!" Your friend showed you a picture of the guy she liked. He didn't seem bad. And your friend seemed normal enough about him.

"Yeah, he's cute. Sure, I'll go to the study group with you."

The next day, when you walked in the café you guys decided to meet up in, you saw Riki, your bestie, and...

"Y/n, this is Jaeyun. He's in the grade above you, right?"

"Mhm, nice to meet you, y/n. You can call me Jake." He flashed a warm smile at you. It made your stomach churn with how nice he was to you.

Memories of your ex-friend and her toxicity flooded your brain, yet you pulled yourself together and held your hand out. "Nice to meet you, Jake!"

His hand was warm. You were sort of understanding why your ex-friend liked Jake now.

The study group went surprisingly smoothly, with you exchanging numbers with the two boys and leaving with a stomach full of sweets.

You explained to your bestie the situation between you and your ex-friend, how she was in love with Jake and how she was a huge asshole towards you.

"Is that why you looked shocked when you saw him?" She asked.

You nodded. "Was it that obvious? God, I really hope I didn't give him a bad impression of me..."

"Don't worry, y/n, it wasn't that obvious." Your friend said before being interrupted by the ding of your phone. An unknown number.

hey y/n this is jake from the study group i just remembered i had your number lol

"It's Jake. Whenever I think of him, I think of my ex-friend and then I start feeling sick. Should I answer?" Your finger hovered above the message icon.

"Yes, duh? Forget about that shitty girl, that's in the past. It's time to move on and forget about her, y/n."

"Hm.. You're right. I'll respond. I know it's been half a year, but it's hard to get over it." Your fingers rapidly typed and backspace until you found a response you would send to him.

hi jake!! dw abt it, im glad you texted me

"I literally can't do this bestie, what if he hates me? Fuck, that message sounded so cringy." The worst case scenarios flashed in your eyes.

"He doesn't. Read the message he just sent, I don't think anyone who hates you would send that."

do you wanna go get lunch with me tomorrow? i wanna talk to you more, you seem chill 😄 also your friend likes riki right? she makes it obvious

"I DO?" Your best friend gasped. When you agreed, your friend threw her head back, landing on one of the soft pillows of your bed. "It's fine, I'll deal with it later. Back to you, y/n~"

"Oh lord."

"You should go with Jake! He's asking you out on a date!"

"He is?" You reread the message. "Oh shit, he is."

"Y/n l/n, you are a total loser. Your life is so boring, like, you've never been in a relationship? You should go. It'll make your life interesting."

"Geez, you're such a nice friend." You rolled your eyes.

yeah ofc!! where & when?

is noon at the pizza place near the cafe alright with you?

mhm, see u there :)

You turned your phone off and let your brain process what was happening.

The only knowledge you've had of Jake prior to this was from your ex-friend, and she looked at him with rose-colored glasses. You were going on a date with the very person your ex-friend was head over heels for.

Fast-forward to the next day, you put on an outfit you deemed worthy for an outing and exited the house. You hoped your bestie wouldn't blow up the house.

Once you arrived at the pizza place, you spotted Jake waiting outside, scrolling on his phone.

"Jake!" You called, and his head perked up, smiling wide as he waved to you, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!"

"Y/n! Don't worry about it, I just got here anyways, let's go in and order, 'kay?" It wasn't even a sort of anymore. You were definitely understanding why your ex-friend was obsessed with Jake.

Your eyes couldn't leave Jake as he ordered a pizza and drinks for you both, and you didn't even process the question he asked you until he pointed out your lack of response.

"Sorry, I just feel... I don't know, out of it? Could be nerves," You awkwardly laughed.

Jake only cocked his head his face painted with a confused expression before giving you a small grin. "I get it, nerves do that to me too. So, um, what do you like to do?"

"I- I like writing?"

"That's cool, do you think you could ever show me one of your stories?" When he noticed your eyes widening, he laughed, "I'm kidding, you don't have to show me if you don't want to."

The pizza came, and you two chatted about anything you could think of. You talked about your friends antics and he talked about his. He even showed you a picture of his cute dog.

"Y/n, if you don't want to answer this, it's fine, but why did you ignore me before you were forced to see me at the café. Did I do anything wrong?"

Shit. Now you were forced to talk about your past with your ex-friend. "I had a friend who used to like you. You were all she would talk about, and it was getting annoying. She was an asshole too. After we stopped being friends, I didn't want to be reminded of her, and you happened to be one of the things that reminded me of her. I feel bad about ignoring you, since you're a great guy."

"Oh, it was *****, yeah? I remember her." Hearing her name made you feel lightheaded. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. If it makes you better, I never liked her much."

"Seriously?"

"Yup, you want to head back to my dorm? I could show you my lego collection?"

"Sure," You giggled, getting up out of your seat in the booth, Jake following suit. You felt a sense of relief knowing that Jake didn't like your ex-friend.

As you two were walking back, gray clouds started to gather. A few rain droplets fell on your face before the downpour began. You and Jake looked at each other before Jake took your hand and started running to his dorm, dragging you along.

Once you guys made it, you were both soaking wet and panting. "I wasn't expecting it to rain, sorry.."

"It's okay. I really enjoyed your company..."

Silence filled the room. Jake's hand was still holding yours. "Y/n... may I..?"

"Please, Jaeyun."

His lips pressed onto yours, and even if it was for a second, it felt like time stopped. It was just you and him in this little world.

"Tomorrow, I'll take you on a real date, when it isn't raining. We could go wherever, just tell me," Jake told you when the kiss ended.

"Let's hope it isn't raining tomorrow, promise we'll go wherever?"

"I pinky promise, dear." He held out his pinky, and you intertwined it with yours.

This was the start of a new chapter, a chapter without her, and you had someone, who although gave you bad memories from the previous chapter, would be by your side.

[imagineitdearies]

Hello! Just finished PS. I cannot praise you enough. Its easily the best thing ive read this year, and my resolution was to read multiple books a month. You surpass ALL OF THEM!

Saw ur authors note at the end abt an original queer vamp novel- is there anymore info yet? Im sure you've got ppl begging already but id truly love to beta when the time comes- or be first in line to preorder.

I feel like i read this at exactly the right time of my life.

The story was so painful yet rewarding bc i see so much of myself in Tyrus. Astarion and Tyrus truly feel like two different exstensions of my healing self. I wont go into it, but im a survivor to. Like tyrus, it happened when i was a young. Seeing his transformation throughout his decade of enslavement, his hatred towards himslef and the world, all bc of one man hit home. I kept telling myself that if it didnt have a happy ending id have to burn my phone or smthn lol. Seeing Astarion amd Tyrus not just defeat Cazador, but do it together, do it solely through their love of one another, broke me. The power of love, hope, and goodness. I havent cried over a fanfic since middle school. Im in my 20s now. I adored the final 2 chapters of the aftermath- im so grateful we got to meet his sister! And with Halsin, no less!

Im so thrilled you'll be adding oneshots and other stories to the universe. Tyrus is so real, so alive, id hate to see him contained in one story.

I love how Tyrus, ultimately, changeed. He didnt change into a monster like he feared, but what happened to him did changed him. Thats not a bad thing, tho. He's still Tyrus, simply a new version. And im still me, simply a new version.

I dont know if ill ever be able to reread, even skimming over the rougher parts was hard, but im so grateful i was able to see Tyrus and Astarion's journey. All of their triumphs felt like mine, all of their failures. Their never wavering love and trust in one another, that they understood it was Cazador that made them do those bad things. Ur right, pain and love must be intertwined, which is why this fic was so amazing. The highs would have never felt so spectaular without the lowest of lows.

Im rambling, i apologize. I do hope you read this, even if you dont respond. I hope my thanks and praise can give u something in return for what you've given me.

If you've made it this far, have you made any content on ur process? Ur planning? The flow was amazing, ur description, the flashbacks- did you go to school for writing? As a writer myself im almsot jealous at ur talent- but mostly curious :) id love to know anything you're willing to share.

Again, thank you. This was a gift, you know. I wont forget it.

Hi turtleurtle!! Great to see you over here, thank you so much for your kind words 🩵🩵 it means a lot any time I hear people enjoyed PS as much/more than published fiction!!

Speaking of, yes, since you ask I do have a little more to say now on my original story. I took a small writing break for a week or so but have now jumped back into the saddle for the next adventure! Lots of plotting, character creation, worldbuilding, and research happening right now.

Reuben, our first main POV, is almost fully fleshed out as a character and I’m so excited for you all to meet him (he’s an eloquence bard, for starters)!! The first book/part is almost fully outlined and I’ve written the first few pages. I’m really starting to get inspired by where the storyline is going.

Back to PS though—I’m so glad you felt seen with Tyrus’s character. He did inevitably change, but by the end he is (mostly) at peace with that and can still forge a good life and happy relationships. Meeting Cynda again was that last little piece of hope he needed to believe it 🥹

Haha the light does always seem brighter when you’re stuck in pitch darkness! On the other hand, it’s something Tyrus only thinks once, but I would argue love is not intertwined with pain more than anything else. Pain is just an inevitability. No matter what you do, you will experience discomfort, sorrow, loss, physical suffering (see Cazador, with absolutely zero love in his life). While love is not inevitable, it’s a choice. Love is a gift we choose to give and to receive in the midst of inevitable suffering and that is why it is so precious. Having that perspective has really helped me heal and have more hope for the future 🩵

Haha never apologize for rambling about PS! This thing has consumed my soul for the last 8 months so I love the chance to hear from/converse with people especially now that the full story is posted and all is revealed. Honestly wish I could sit down with you all and just discuss everything!! But seriously thank you for this message.

As for my writing, here’s a few writing advice asks I've answered, but i haven’t gotten too in-depth on my chaotic process yet. I will say long walks talking to myself, bullet lists, and brackets are my personal recipe for success (besides just writing for years and years) 😂 I did take a lot of classes in school too! If people have specific questions, I’m happy to give my best go at an answer.

Thanks so much 🥰

[wooahaes]

Hi, hope you’re doing well. If possible, I’d like to request #1 “I’ll be there in 10” and #6 “Be more careful” with Seungcheol, please and thank you! I hope this prompt list helps you get out of your funk. Take care! ❤️

stormy weather

pairing: non-idol!s coups x gn!reader

prompt: 1 + 6 from these prompts   

word count: 0.7k

warnings: storm w heavy rain mention!! worried cheol. implied shower together post-fic but its not rly written to be sexual. intentional lowercase + no proofreading!

daisy’s notes: im doing ok!! kinda trying to fix my sleep schedule a lil rn since i can afford to now lol its been helping a lil when i can sit down and write! you take care as well <3

seungcheol had reread your last text to him about twenty times over the past half-hour: i’ll be there in 10!!!

of course, that was sent almost thirty-five minutes ago, and seungcheol was starting to worry. it was raining hard outside, so he’d eased off at first since public transit could take longer when the weather was bad. he texted you a few minutes after your estimated arrival time to ensure that you were in your bus to zero response. seungcheol had started pacing near the entryway to your apartment, eyeing up his own raincoat. he knew where your stop got off... he could at least go wait for you so he knew you came home safely.

seungcheol let out a long sigh and could already hear your playful nagging. that you’d be home soon enough, that he worried too much over you (he never saw it that way: it was dark, the weather was awful, he worried the right amount about you getting home safely), that it was just “a little rain” and that you wouldn’t melt from it. the elevator ride down to the lobby of your building was enough for him to start planning: he’d just go to your stop. if he found you walking home, then that was fine. either way, he’d be there waiting for you.

except he took maybe three steps into the lobby before he watched you talk in through the front door and immediately slip upon trying to dry off before you trekked too much water into the building. seungcheol quickly made his way over to you to steady you.

he’d already begun scolding you for not texting back, and then frowned when you fumbled with your umbrella. “be more careful,” he said, fingers fiddling with the buttons on your raincoat. “i was about to go looking for you--why didn’t you answer me?”

“my phone died,” you looked up, “and you took my portable charger.”

that he did. he frowned again, wiping away a drop of water from your face. he took your hand, holding it tight within his own to keep you steady as he guided you back to the elevator. soon enough, he’d leave you within the front door of your apartment to find towels for you. when he came back, you were pulling off your soaking wet shoes to put them away. he merely threw a towel over your still-wet head, beginning to dry you off despite your whine.

“i can do it myself, you know,” you reached blindly for his hands, pulling them away. he watched as you pulled the towel back, leaning in for a kiss that he dodged. “cheollie....” you pouted, “i didn’t mean to scare you.”

“what happened?” he took your hands, guiding you with him. “was your bus late?”

“the traffic was bad so i got off early and decided to walk,” you said with a shrug. “the street was empty, it didn’t take that long. i was only off the bus for maybe ten minutes. the traffic was bad.”

“how long after did you regret it?”

he watched the way you sucked in your lips, fully caught in your regrets. “like. three minutes later, but the bus was already gone so i decided to commit.”

“i would have paid for your taxi,” he pouted, before leaning in to press a kiss to your temple. “go take a shower or you’ll get sick.” 

“then join me and i will,” you teased. you looked up to see seungcheol, unimpressed, and staring back at you. “oh. cheol,” you frowned, the weight of his worries finally hitting you. “i’m sorry--”

“it’s not your fault--” he immediately said, pulling you in to rest against him, “i just want you to be safe. okay? it’s my fault for taking your charger, too,” he shut his eyes.

you reached up for one of his hands, just to curl your fingers around it. “i’m home now. and you saved me from busting my ass downstairs--”

he chuckled softly. “go turn on the water,” he said, letting you go. “i’ll be there in a moment.”

you’d laughed after saying something that, on a good day, would have made him blush and whine at you. the idea of cuddling with you in the shower (and, maybe, cuddling with you in bed, too) felt better once he let go of the worries he’d been carrying still. you were home now, after all. now it was his turn to make sure you didn’t get sick after your rainy adventure home.

if that meant staying in the warm water with you for a few extra minutes, just to hold you close? then so be it.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune

[mysicklove]

What fic was your favorite/most fun to write? Love your work Mello!! :)))

r we talking bout kinktober??

if so, would prob be day 22 which is a/b/o (gosh, my embaressing love for that au) with isagi. i also had tons of fun with day 17, which is vouyerism with bachira and isagi...but i am highkey into vouyerism so. OH AND hybrids with megumi was soooo fun, but u guys know bout my love of catboys lmaoo so three fics that u guys havent read yet LMAO. out of the ones posted my fav was prob Fix Me with gojo. OH and Pretty Girl with yuuji. both super fun

out of ALL my fics ive written, def Unmarked Canvas with hawks which is a hard sadistic fic that....is....smthing i think about lots. master please look at me! was fun bc i am utterly obsessed with bachira and ....embarrassingly into master kink. and my adorable master (weird that they both have master in their name) was also fun, bc role reversal asffffffff. i remember writing it on my phone on vacation half drunk so its kinda poorly done but i remember lovinf writing it

tbh tho, most of my fics i can barely stand to read. like even the ones with i just listed is rough for me. the kinktober ones i actualy do like them, but the other ones just...arent written well in my opinion? i feel like i drastically improved with my descriptions, and just my overal writing, so when i read them i just kinda wanna die. but i am glad that i can see myself improving! its just rough rereading it, and having the urge to not take it down

omg sorry im rambling i always do this LOL, but thanks for giving me the opportunity to talk about this mwah mwah mwah

[thatbanditqueen]

i’m obsessed w all ur fics but i gotta ask…

are u planning on midge and ep making up some way in the next chapter or are u thinking ab dragging it out? (also wanted to let u know i reread the only sure thing probably once a week lmaooo)

So I'm writing chapter 8 right now and...... they are going to be colliding into each other at the end. Followed by three very very very smutty chapters. This and the last chapter where they are not together have been the HARDEST for me to write because I have the smut headcanons for the next chapters rebounding around in my mind grapes and I just want to get there already and I want the build up to be good but I have discovered this about myself as a writer. I'm not great at slow burn or storylines that don't lead to somewhat immediate smut..... lol.... maybe I'm off, but my favorite chapters of Only Sure Thing are 2 through 6..... I did like writing the scene in 7 where Elvis walks in on Midge writing fake fan letters for the Colonel.... but some of that chapter felt flat trying to accomplish more exposition and where i see them going... idk i am an aggressively hard on myself person, but i guess I think my favorite thing to write is pre-smut verbal foreplay which is hard to do if characters are broken up... so, this was a really long way to answer your question. The short answer is yes, and I'm sorry because I'm still learning how to write stories but I see ch 9 and 10 being.... um.... fun....

Once a week? My love.... im so fucking honored to hear you say that because I am really fond of these characters and I reread it everytime I write a new chapter, but I also want to rewrite it, especially some of the clunky paragraphs early on where I feel like I was over explaining Elvis' bio.... I might one day....

This is something I'm struggling with so I'm curious to know what you think... I don't want them to make up totally until March 1961 bc Elvis is going to convince Midge to go to Hawaii with him and he's leaving like the day after they reunite. But I also don't think it's realistic that he wouldn't try to see her every chance he can and try to wear her resolve down... I'm having him bombard her with telegrams and phone calls, and sort of explaining how he's off filming two movies and doing benefits and events in Nashville and Memphis as the reason he doesn't see her for six months... but I feel like I need to write ONE "look let me prove I can be just friends" scene from Midge's pov, where E shows up at her place unexpectedly because he's super impulsive and hyperfixated..... and he wants to use any excuse to get her alone and bring her back to his house ... uh... ok apparently this post became part of my writing process...

Thanks for reading and supporting my own hyperfixation. Im always down to chat about them. I really hope the fan community doesn't dissolve bf I finish these stories....I know I'm moving at a snail's pace..

xoxo

norAHHHH

The Only Sure Thing forthcoming in the next few days Ch 8 vibes...

[ninthtwilight]

hi.

im rex, but i go by many names. horse is fine, too. im 27 at the time of writing this.

they/he/it/xe/ona. butch nonbinary lesbian and im extremely fucking normal about 07th works. help.

while i knew the Big Spoilers prior, i completed my first proper reading of umineko on 1/28/18. i am currently rereading it, which i began 7/16/23. i am taking notes in obsidian as i go along, for my own reference. i might do something with those. or not. we'll see.

i am currently rereading: EP4 (PAUSED: retrieving my notes off my old hard drive first)

i also have read through higurashi + own the anime on blu-ray, but i dont have specific dates on hand for those. ive been into higurashi since ~5th grade, and umineko since middle school... but didnt fully gain a deep appreciation for their stories until i revisited em in my late teens / early 20s. that said, i love them both equally and VERY DEARLY, my active interest just varies based on what ive read / interacted with last tbh. lmao.

as my mini about says, i do not tag spoilers for either series, UNLESS i am posting my own artwork in the larger tags. i do not tag my rbs outside of content warnings. if you are dodging spoilers, get on outta here.

also, i use high contrast text on my phone and blog via mobile the majority of the time im on here. if you need coloured txt tagged for, i might not be the best person to follow, bcs i cant immediately tell when text is utilizing it (high contrast just converts it to black and white for me).

i used to be pretty active on here on an older blog or two, but i lost the blog that i know is still alive lmfao. i used to use this url before, so.. if you know or recognize me from back then: hi ! i am way more stabilized now LOL.

rough guide to my tags:

🐴 txt: text posts

🐴 art: pieces of art, drawn / music / written

🐴 wip: self explanatory

🐴 notes vault containment zone: stuff either directly from my obsidian notes OR observations i put into there from here, or things that would otherwise fit in there.

my main is normalhorsez. my longwinded about is there, if you want to know more about me. cool.

🐴💕 neigh.

[1d1195]

sam you are the sweetest person in the world actually, thank you so much🫶

STEAL MY GIRL MUSIC VIDEO IS SUCH A NICHE THING I FEEL LIKE ITS ALMOST AN INSIDE JOKE it’s sooooo funny every time i watch it i’m just laughing SO REAL WITH LOUIS AND THE CHIMP i remember watching it for the first time and seeing harry in the fucking trench coat and genuinely getting worried like “hmmm it’s too hot for that, hope he’s okay😕” BABHSHAHAHAHAHA zayn and the sumo wrestlers ALWAYS gets me

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING SOOOO HARD AT THE "SAMANTHA -🎶" YOU GET ME😭😭 i think i read all dolcezza like the same week you posted the last part, and it’s a good thing i did cause ooooo girl….😮‍💨😮‍💨you woulda drove me crazy

I THINK I SAID THIS ONCE BUT IM NOT SURE AND IF I DID IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO BUTTTT THE SERIES THAT BROUGHT ME TO YOUR PAGE WAS ACTUALLY MADE TO BE🥹🥹🥹🥹 and i came from PART 1 !!!!! (ironic considering my aversion to waiting lol) i tuned in every week to read the new part and back then you were updating on sundays and i stg i would get soooo giddy (i was in SHAMBLESSS between chapters having to wait a week😭) and yea…after that series ive been stuck here like a leech LMAO

on the topic of waiting on chapters i started traditional like right after you’d posted the second to last chapter and O.M.G. AHAHAHAH ITS SO FUNNY LOOKING BACK BUT I WAS ACTUALLY GLUEDDD TO MY PHONE👀👀 WAITING FOR THE NEXT PART CAUSE THEY HAD GOT IN THAT FIGHT AND I WAS SOOO HOOKED and then i woke up one morning and it was out, guess how i spent my breakfast & coffee time😭

i’m just rambling at this point BUT YES !!! YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW APPRECIATED YOU ARE !!! i remember back then i wasn’t doing the best and lots of things were changing but i always looked forward to reading the newest chapter. i read in one of your recent asks about how you decide what you write based on engagement (which makes total sense) but you feel like you get a lot of non-interacting readers. this is true and it really sucks but i guess it’s the reality of posting on a website like this. however, i will gladly take the time to say what they won’t and AHHHH SAM YOURE AN AMAZING WRITER I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US YOU MATTER SOOOO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW 💕💕💕💕💘💘💘💘💘💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗💗

i cried while finished “Love & Other Words” 😪omg i didn’t see that coming but it was SOOOO. GOOD. like….i sat and stared at the book with a small smile after i finished it kind of good. i will DEF been rereading that I LOVE THEM😭😭 THAT SCENE WHERE HE SAID “I’ll take anything you give me. Is that pathetic?” I SCREAMED they’re so precious and i looooveddd the way it was written!!! i just sped through it and i love when books feel like that

it has also been storming here, like so bad the electricity went out a few weeks ago and if u go out when it’s sunny you will melt. not a fan of summer right now🙄 SO happy to hear you’re feeling more relaxed, hopefully that stays till at least the end of summer. pasta is yummy !! i like my pasta dishes w a lotttttaaaa cheese :)) ive been boring too, dw. just a lotta reading on my end cause i am notttt in the mood to talk to anyone lately, vry antisocial (i also started my period last night ??? maybe that why lmfao😭)

sorry for this behemoth of an ask, thank you for chatting HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVE YOU <33333333

~🎶

I DREAM about Harry in that trench coat. A fashion icon. I love him so much in that (and everything). I totally forgot all about the sumo wrestler piece of it I was so focused on the chimp and Louis. Louis' smile in that is my FAVORITE thing in the world. It was SO pure.

hehehehehe well, I'm happy to report that Part II of Most will be up tomorrow afternoon. She's longer than I thought I could do but here we are. After writing it, I think Part 1 and Part 2 would be a good read. I don't think it will drive you crazy the way Dolcezza would have drove you crazy.

OMG. I apologize if you DID say it, but I feel like this is new information to me. I'm so so sorry if I forgot. BUT STILL. I haven't thought about Made to Be in a REALLY long time 😭 I loved it for so long after I finished writing it. It was a huge part of my life. You've been here for a while, that's so cute and nice to hear 💕 I'm so glad you liked it

You are so so sweet. I am so grateful for you compliments.

IS THAT PATHETIC made me want to SCREAM too. I love Elliot so goddamn much I could CRY. He is my ideal man. My new story is Love & Other Words coded for sure 🙈 I didn't mean for it to happen but then I think I told you I got it back from letting my sister borrow it and I couldn't stop rereading the whole "I'm pathetic part" like OMG I'm 😭😭 so distraught about it STILL. Everything about that book is perfect.

I am summer's least favorite fan. The heat makes me so sticky and gross feeling. Also, I don't look good in summer clothes (or I feel gross about myself, whatever) ANYWAY. I love a good antisocial mood tbh. I feel so obligated to be on and around everyone all the time. And what's worse is I let myself be available. I JUST started getting better at not checking my work email outside of work hours. My sister and mom need me LITERALLY all the time. My bf and I are home at the same time so I just never get a MINUTE to myself. I have to like hide in my own apartment to get any alone time. So yeah. I can't get my brain to shut off lately to read but I've been doing some hard work on the writing here so I'm hoping that will help--also been doing a GREAT job binging TV. I think I just want to keep reading romance stuff and not all the like "interesting" books I've bought and haven't read 😭 It's the only way I'm going to get through this bookshelf of mine 😂

I love the chatting and the long asks so no need to apologize or thank me. I hope you have a fantastic Monday! LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💕

xoxo

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Omg yeah x/y was honestly such a good era I loved mega evolutions (wtf happened to them?? Like we just got different renditions in the form of z moves and gigantamaxing ?? I forgot what it’s called but when they blow up the pokemon in a giant ass stadium LMAO) but I do miss mega evolution…I also haven’t played any of the switch games shdgsh I was meaning to but didn’t have enough time (or motivation oops) I completely forgot about greninja he most definitely has one….bonus points if it has that giant water shuriken like the ash greninja LMAO I can imagine Karasu collecting all the token bird pokemon too HAHA like talonflame, staraptor, etc.

LMAOO Kira was honestly a good choice I just remember being like this is such a rare find?? HAHA so glad I stumbled upon peregrine and found you too <3

Honestly I think it’s just because kiyora got thrown in with like no info no backstory and no dialogue…I’m glad we’re getting more of him in epinagi where they can actually focus more on him so we can see more of what he’s like because as of right now I’m just like…I barely know you dude LOL besides the fact that you’re a middle child…manifesting tabieita return so hard please come back my glorious kings I need your goofy little duo back!!!!!!! I also wanna know who’s saying Karasu won’t make it like??? There’s no way anyone from top6 BLLK isn’t making it tbh I feel like that’d be too big of a jump but clearly they aren’t reading because he really IS carrying pxg on his back like….hard carry. Shidou hasn’t done anything beyond the first goal Charles called it quits for awhile and Rin wasn’t able to do much either like Karasus always pressing Kaiser and Isagi and keeping up let’s be real there’s no way he won’t make it :| Also narratively I don’t think it’d really make sense for him to get dropped out either if anything I think the people most in danger are the people currently not in the top 23…? Or benched players like who’s making those assumptions now…..tabieita is for sure passing (also I feel like it’s especially because otoya is like 1 of 2 people doing anything on barcha from bllk so they’re bound to also get enough bids from barcha or other clubs I feel..) but yeah er I don’t even fully remember who else is on barcha from bllk haha…

JUST FINISHED READING AND OH. MY. GOSH. THAT WAS AMAZING??? I had sm fun reading it I was smiling at my phone and actually laughing. I’m CRYING Otoya and bestie getting shipped??? That’s hilarious esp how he like ends up cock blocking her attempts to get close to the others like Reo??? Peak comedy I ate that UP!!! And SHSJSBDH KARASU REUNION THAT WAS SO CUTE and honestly fit them so well with the banter too!!! I can only imagine how the aquarium date would go….imagine either he falls into the touch pool or at least gets splashed somehow and flips out LMFAOO

I LIVE for this journey of a story truly keeping the Karasu community alive and kicking I feel like this just added a millions years to my lifespan like I’ve been revived and rejuvenated thank you very much. Also Chigiris sister!!! Omg I love that we end up forming a little bestie group with her and yukis gf too!!! Girlbosses fr!!!!

Also the Karasu Y/n adopting Hiori agenda SO REAL IM SO ON BOARD HAHA I’m crying he fr is just their kid like it’s so funny and makes sm sense too….i lost it with the u20 match invites though like we really got the invite instead of his parents LMFAOOO the way you write him makes him so squishy too I just wanna squeeze him like the hamster he is idc if he’s 6 foot

But anyways I’m honestly running out of words to say because my vocabulary isn’t extensive enough to praise this as much as it deserves THANK YOU SO MUCH SHSGSHS I was never expecting a request of mine to your event to have led to something like this!!! So glad to have been able to chat with you as well as follow along with this story (I’m definitely going to go reread the entire series from start to finish at least three times)

Take care of yourself and I’m looking forward to whatever you put out next!!!! Can’t wait to ramble and chat more about karasu (or really even anything LOL) To more Karasu filled BLLK moments and writing masterpieces o7

- Karasu anon

YES i loved mega evolutions but everything after that felt like it was trying too hard to be gimmicky…i’m in the same boat i’ve played all of the 3ds games and a few of the ds ones but none of the switch ones. LMAOO i bet he missed the event to get the special ash greninja because he was on a date or smth so he had to pay nagi/hiori to give him theirs or hack his game so he could get it 😭 KARASU’S TEAM IS DEF 5 RANDOM BIRD POKÉMON + GARCHOMP I FEEL IT IN MY BONES he’s sooo garchomp coded somehow…maybe talonflame staraptor honchkrow skarmory and pidgeot?? idk though. i’ve considered writing a pokémon au before i think it would be so fun hehe but who knows

i will SCROUNGEEE wikis to find the most random characters for my fics…either that or i’ll jump straight to ocs. i think i tend to use canon characters at all costs for male characters and ocs for female characters because lbr most animangas have very very few female characters let alone well written ones (shoutout anri only female character in bllk fr) so i just make my own

YES i agree kiyora just randomly appeared and gave us a backstory and then passed…honestly i think i’d have been more interested if we didn’t know much abt his backstory until AFTER he passed to kaiser but it seems like he’ll be important for the rest of the match so i’m sure we’ll get more information on him soon

AGREED like people are saying NAGI isn’t going to start on the world cup team?? please be sooo fr he’s shown time and time again that he’s capable of insane chemical reactions w almost any player he 100% is starting. tabieitaken also are definitely going to be there even if they don’t start (i think of the three karasu has the best chance at starting just because we don’t see many other players playing in his position whereas chigiri, bachira, etc could be wingers instead of yuki/otoya)…yeah literally besides bachira and otoya barcha is a bunch of randoms 😭 i need these people to focus their worries on like nanase and zantetsu HAHA. personally i’m 10x more scared for zantetsu than karasu 🙁 i don’t want him to be kicked out of bllk we need more himbo rep in anime

OMG YAYYY I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! help otoya and bestie hating one another but accidentally cockblocking each other for the entire fic was SOO fun to write 😭 poor bestie she just wanted a rich man but she’s stuck w otoya’s ninja ass. i think my fav moment of theirs was when he won her the plushie but instead of being romantic it actually furthers their enmity 😔 the bllk fans in-universe know what’s up!! otoya x bestie AND karasu x y/n…taste fr. lowkey poor bestie because not only is she single af and enemies with a guy who pretends to be a ninja in public, her OWN bff is in the most perfect relationship ever 😭💔 karasu invented boyfriendism like he’s so HDKDHDSJ in this fic!!!

it truly was such a journey 🥹 YES i needed there to be more female characters plus i thought it would be so funny if y/n is just going around adopting bllk characters…like hyoma’s HER brother now too wdym 🙄 she needs to meet rin ong i think she would cure him (and bestie needs to meet sae i think she would humble him so bad). i know for a FACT that the girlies of fwtkac groupchat is probably sooo fun. like bestie just spams otoya slander (she finds entire twitter threads dogging on him and makes up bs to get him cancelled online), y/n sends edits of everyone (especially otoya x bestie ship edits because she finds them hilarious), chigiri’s sister keeps trying to convince them to visit her in tokyo, and yuki’s gf is the designated hype girl 🥹

LMAOAOAO karasu w hiori is like the quintessential dad who DID NOT want to get a puppy but somehow he loves the dog the most and feeds it 5 million treats a day 😭 y/n and karasu truly are the parents that stepped up 😪 but also LMAOAOA no i thought it was so funny like imagine hiori knowing that karasu is probably going to invite his gf and being like “ya i’m going to invite your gf too” it’s like that one reddit meme where the guy says “if i could sleep w anyone in history i’d choose my wife who passed away” and some random dude says “i’d choose your dead wife too” HAHAAH but not romantic because hiori is just her little squishy child fr

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH i also did not expect an event request would get to be this extensive but i enjoyed it so much!! i’m hoping to work on my hiori requests so tentatively those will be next but we’ll see how things go hehe. and i look forward to many more conversations and ramblings in the future!!

bonus: karasu texting otoya after his aquarium date (screenshotted from an insta post i saw earlier LMAOOO)

[leviathiane]

hello i am once again ON this

tumblr on my phone literally was like "your tumblr crush leviathiane --" and im like listen it's more than just tumblr but okay

fic writer asks: 3, 9, 28

LMFMOAOOOOO called out by tumblr once again, alas

Asks from this post

3 - favorite fic I've written

That's actually so fucking tough hang on. Hang on. Hang on. I'm gonna give you THREE different answers here, bc i need SPECIFICS,

Favorite posted oneshot: An exercise in Grief. I loved writing this to absolute death, it was essentially my combined love and agony and grief and thoughts in general about AoC: Hyrule warriors and it bothered me for WEEKS when it received so little engagement for something I enjoyed writing and cared about so much. for all my talk and several fics over mipha and her tragedy (as well as the botw champions in general) this fic was kind of my magnum opus Mipha Grief™ fic. i still reread it when I replay aoc, i dont reread any of my own fics but this one.

Favorite posted Multi-chap: Somehow still a very hard question. It's pretty finely tied between Guiding Instinct, Deeply Whelved, Within Risk of Reason, and Dead Man's Handle, honestly... but if i really, really had to choose, then Guiding Instinct. I've had that story in my head for over a decade. I may not be actively working on it, at the moment, but it's such a fun concept and ties together like all of my favorite tropes to read AND write ever

Favorite NON-POSTED fic: Bit of a cheat, since I'm the only one who has read any of these, but my undertale fics! I love them desperately, I spent several months MIA just writing those frantically for no one but ME. I reread them before I go to sleep, I love them so goddamn much I seriously considered making ANOTHER ao3 account just to post them.

9 - Do you write every day? Share a sentence if yes!

I try to!!!! Not currently, since I'm in the midst of finals for my last quarter of the academic year, but last month and the early half of may I wrote every single day for mermay lol. Despite that, here's a teaser sentence for what I briefly worked on a few days ago:

“...Zelda,” His voice dragged out of him raggedly.

28 - Have you ever tagged a fic "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat"?

Yes. Of course. Of course I have. ksdajknbhjvgdhbask. None of my Depths ao3, but several on my nsfw account! I haven't actually used the tag in 2 years, but actually now that I think about it I should probably add it to a couple of my Depths' fics due to violence and such. I reread some of my loz stuff recently to answer comments and theres, definitely some excessive injury in those that couple maybe use better tagging,, in general, dead dove would technically apply to most of my fics, since i do my best to Fully tag them. You get what you see, u feel? Dead dove doesnt just apply to nsfw, after all.

Thanks for asking buddy, standby for my incoming ask ❤️

[joshriku]

here's another cherik fic rec for @vvivacious101 enjoy :)

same as last time, no sad endings here :sob: i like my happy stories

Frühjahrsputz by acetamide: half of my bookmarks are days of future past related when it comes to cherik movies and this is so. oh my god. it's about the healing. about cleaning. about cutting your hair. about healing and coming together once more. it's SO MUCH .

the recklessness of water by pocky_slash: i reread this this morning. and it made me go insane AGAIN. LIKE IMAGINE IF READING A FIC WAS LIKE DRINKING WARM TEA. THATS HOW IT FEELS LIKE

be so good by significantowl: this one's an au but *pointing at the chronic pain* HOLY SHIT !!!!! SO GOOD!!!!! i was reading this like hes just like me fr....except i dont have a sexy boyfriend who takes care of me but hwatever! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

the beginning of knowledge by cymbalism: oh my god this fucks so hard SORRY IT JUST DOES. THE TENSIONNN. THE CHARACTER WRITING. THE ENDING? HOLY SHIT. YEAH. THE ASSIGNMENT WAS SO UNDERSTOOD

the world outside was hungry by tzigane, zaganthi: THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INSANE FIC EVER WRITTEN LIKE I GAINED THE WORST MENTAL ILLNESS I COULD GAIN FROM THIS I WAS SO STRESSED AND ALSO SO GIDDY AND ALSO SO IN LOVE AND ALSO SO DEEPLY SAD I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO READ THIS FIC like some other day i go and reread my favorite fics and im like ok. sits down. pukes. cries. passes out etc. fuck it's SO good it's SO SO GOOD.

to those who wait by unforgotten: i love old men cherik so jot that down and this is so fucking perfect i think the way op writes charles and his bewilderment is so fucking perfecttttt LOL AND ! IT HAS LUNA IN IT. LIKE. OH my god if there's something that gets me worse than erik with his children it's erik with his GRANDCHILDREN it's so rare and in-between to find it but ohhjh myg oddddddddD

inertia by nekare: there's a part where it actually made me put down my phone and be like holy fucking shit. it's so good

westchester, redux by daymarket: i LOVE character studying i LOVE talks about grief i LOVE when it feels like im poutting them under a microscope and analyzing them its os fucking CRAZY

all you think of lately by annejumps: im just saying. the most character development erik can get in fics is if he bottoms one time. SORRY. ITS TRUE THOUGH.

close enemies by andraste: i fucking love TAS cherik. the savage land episodes are so insane to watch even though it's so like. short. and this fic delivers the tension AND the insanity AND writes erik exactly like in the show. sorry for reccing a fic that's 21 years old but in my defense it goes so hard

one night in westchester by brotherfromanothermother: LISTEN I THINK CHERIK TAS ARE JUST REALLY FUNNY. this is a very funny fic. i love it.

smoke and mirrors by sotano: i think about this fic more than i think about how i should be working on my thesis. which is a lot. very often. all the time, even

each day starts white by kianspo: ACTUAL insanity. holy shit. had me going YESSSS EXACTLY like every fucking second htat passed. I absolutely LOVED it

so good. i love these fics so bad!!!!!!!!

[mostlymaudlin]

Fanfic Asks 2 and 18 ❤️

thank u stacy!!

2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise)

im such a weird fic reader lol -- i always want to have an Experience when i read them, so when i see something cool i tend to copy the link into my google keep & label it (with like, length and tropes and stuff), so that i can go into it when im in the Mood and pick something from there through the labels. unless i see it posted/promo-ed when im Ready, in which case i read it like immediately hahah.

this is all to say -- hard q for me to answer!! ive had a @martsonmars's fic open in a tab on my phone for ages because im excited about it but keep blanking whenever i actually am in a place where i can read. so hopefully that is next LOL .. this is the fic, even without having read it i know its gonna be a banger:

Show Me Who You Are (E), 11k

When Simon comes back to Watford with wings and a tail, Baz knows his life will become hell.

But maybe there's more than one way to let off pent-up frustration and sexual tension, and Simon's tail certainly agrees.

18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

i kind of answered the reading above, which is that it's unhinged, ultra-organized chaos hahaha. i tend to binge too -- i reread all of @stillmadaboutpetra's EXCELLENT "Stars are a light" series (which i have waxed on about excessively) in like 36 hours lol.

for writing, i'm definitely an outliner. it's important to me to keep an eye on the bigger picture -- i want everything in the story to feel purposeful. even for short stuff, i'll usually spit out a really ugly outline first with lil bits of detail (usually the stuff that inspired me to write it). then edit that (often trimming down a lot of fun but not necessary stuff), and then stick that in the left side of a two column table in google docs. then i write on the right side so i can kinda see where im going and where i've been.

im also terribly slow about actually drafting. i was taught to write in newsrooms, and speed is the emphasis there -- getting it right the first time so that your edit can be quick and you can get it to print. i dont usually do a second draft, just tweak wording things and add/delete lil bits for clarity/emphasis. sometimes i find a theme or motif toward the end that i go back and sprinkle throughout so that it hits harder lol. but in general the outlining helps in that i dont usually have to shift around scenes or anything like that. (although maybe my readers have different opinions about that need idk hahaha. at any rate, i DONT usually shift things around).

i can never shut up on these things lmao i love talking abt writing !!!

(from this ask list)

[atlabeth]

1, 9, 16 <3

hi ri<333 thank u for sending one in

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

im most proud of everything happens for a reason tbh, it's the longest fic ive written and even though a lot of it follows the avatar plot i think ive added enough of my ideas into it to make it my own. i just need to get off my ass and update it lol. wish you were sober is the one shot im most proud of i think

9. what's your writing process like?

the biggest mess you can imagine? lol. i listen to music a lot of the time (i have playlists for every series i write to help me get into it) and i try to outline things before i get into it, but most of the time when i get an idea i just open a google doc and try and get everything out of my brain onto the paper before i lose the spark. whenever i try to be organized it doesnt work so i just stick to frantically typing out 10 paragraphs on my phone at 3am when i get the writing urge right before im abt to go to sleep

16. do you re-read old fics? is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

i do lol! ive reread parts of ehfar a couple times and when im trying to remember where i left off in series i reread the last chapter. sometimes i also just go through my masterlist and reread some one shots, but a lot of the time i cant do it because when i do reread stuff i feel like the worst writer alive. and yes, i refuse to go back to the very first couple of avatar fics i wrote when i first started writing here because they make me cringe so hard

deep fic writer asks

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

[ceilingfan5]

do u have any advice for writing multichap fic?? i have an idea i really like but ive never written anything longer than a couple thousand words so im struggling a l'il

I'm probably not the best person to go to for advice there lol!! my longest one before sticker stars was only like 24k and I fully maintain that I was possessed when I wrote sticker stars. Holy shit. anyway my writing process is terrible and I'm a bad example, I tend not to do multiple drafts, I plan very little, I really struggle to write out of order and go back in and fill things in

honestly it's incredible I've gotten anything off the ground let alone 50+ fics in the last uhh 8? Jesus. 8 years/ 22 fics for Taz oh my god

things I did like:

having an outline is so important for not feeling incredibly lost but it doesn't have to be good, it can 100% be very silly and informal

this outline should be in another document or you'll regret ever evolving to be a vertebrate animal

you can't take it too seriously!!!

find some/at least one cheerleader to stick with you and it'll feel way more like a game than a slog. if they double as a beta you can kiss them if they would be okay with it

this will also help w the following--talk it out before you write it out! and after you write it out! during even! even if you're not talking to a friend, seriously rubber duck that shit. rant to yourself in the shower. pace through your living room. trust the process, your brain processes things differently when you hear it than when you're just thinking in your cozy and/or extremely harsh little echo chamber

this has to be at least 92% for you, like if you can't reread it and enjoy it, something needs to change. I think I'm the funniest motherfucker on the planet. it's so hard when you're worried abt what ppl think and if they'll like it, absolutely paralyzing. not that I've solved this problem. if you figure it out please tell me how to not be obsessed with what others think. maybe we can market it and make lots of money. what do you think? wait, fuck

sometimes u gotta sleep on it and look at things from another angle

consuming media will always help and isn't wasting time!!! SS happened bc i watched the proposal with my mom!

divide it up into chapters in the document and give them stupid names! and then make them headings so you can fast travel. fucking sticker stars won't load on my phone it's so big. how do people do shit like 300k fics honestly

it helps to have some kind of structure even if it only makes sense to you! for example in both SS and run away with me I alternated POVs every chapter. and theming is important! in run away with me all the chapter titles are from Carly Rae jepsen songs. and all the chapter titles for paper crowns are one word except the sex ones which are literally like "they have sex again" which is both useful and hilarious

this is going to be physically painful. but I highly recommend writing the whole damn thing and THEN posting it. it's so nice to have it all ready, and be able to go back and edit if your plans change, and also not have the potential of losing steam and having to abandon it and disappointing yourself and others hanging over your head. it's gonna be one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do but it is so worth it.

10000% indulge yourself! not only is it more fun, but people love to read things that are full of joy. I for example go bonkers in fucking yonkers abt dialog and also stupid weird figurative language

evidence of my great planning for SS which is numbered wrong bc my original plan was in the document and got deleted as I went because I have sticky aquarium gravel for brains:

the whole document is like this but most of the rest of it is spoilers but if you wanna see it I'll totally give u access to my unfiltered pudding thoughts

I hope that helps! let's sum:

💜outline

💜joy

💜teamwork

💜patience