#imposter syndrome but make it gay

[lauraroselam]

So I wrote this weird book about queer dragons. It came out the same day as the other dragon book everyone talks about. It was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK, though, which was incredible!

However, I'm not sure how to continue to promote this book--people either seem to really like it, or not quite get it. Or it just wasn't what they expected. Which is fine, no book can please everyone, and I knew I'd made some unusual craft choices that was going to make it more marmite. (Or, as my brain tells me at midnight, I'm just a bad writer). However, there's that librarian saying "every book its reader" and the people who love this book REALLY love it, and that makes me so happy. So I decided to write this post and explain its weirdness and lay out what you can expect if you do pick it up. Maybe you're my kind of odd, too. :-)

Short pitch: 800 years ago, dragons and humans were bonded, then humans were dicks, stole the dragons' magic, and banished them to a dying world. But humans have short memories, forgot, and now worship dragons as gods. The dragon "gods" remember, and they do not forgive.

Thief Arcady steals their grandsire's stone seal (which helps them funnel magic) from their tomb. Their grandsire supposedly released a magical plague that killed a proportion of society, and Arcady is locked out of society as a result. They perform a spell to rewrite the seal to have a new identity as they want to go to university at the Citadel and also clear their family's name. Problem? The spell also accidentally calls through Everen, the last male dragon, trapped in human form. Everen has been foretold to save his kind, and now he has a chance: he just has to convince one little human to trust him mind, body, and soul, and then kill them. Then he'll be able to steal the human's magic back, rip a hole in the Veil, and the dragons can return. Good news for dragons, less good news for humans. As you might expect: this does not go to plan. Because emotions.

Grab it now. (Note: there's still a contractual delay so it's not available in US audiobook yet, annoyingly. Hopefully soon). (If you are like "weird queer dragons?! Sign me up" but aren't interested in hearing why the author has made certain decisions and want to go into the text cold, stop here! Death of the author/birth of the reader, etc. Otherwise, carry on.)

You should pick up Dragonfall if:

You like experimental narrative positions! It's all collected by an unnamed archivist who has access to both first person narratives (Arcady, the genderfluid human thief, Everen the hot dragon) and can scry into the past and draw out third person narratives (Sorin, hot priest assassin. Cassia, Everen's sister, who is also hot. Spoiler: everyone in this book is hot). Then to make it even weirder, Everen's bits are technically in first person direct address, so he's writing it all to Arcady (the first chapter ends with: "For that human was, of course, you. And this is our story, Arcady.") I ended up writing it this way for a few reasons, even though it probably would have been simpler to just stick to straight up third throughout, like most epic fantasy does. The big one is that Arcady is genderfluid and uses any pronouns (I tend to default to they when I talk about them outside of the text), and constantly gendering them in the text felt wrong whether I used he, she, or they. This way bypasses that a lot in the first volume, so it's up to the reader to make up their own mind. I also just really love first person direct address as a narrative position. It can be a little confronting, and it makes Everen the dragon sound a bit more predatory at the start. But it's also quite intimate. Is he writing his sections as an apology, or a love letter? Both? You find out at the end. So if your green flag books are: The Fifth Season, The Raven Tower, or Harrow the Ninth, this might also be your jam.

You love classic 90s fantasy. This is in many ways an homage to all the stuff I read growing up: Robin Hobb and the Realm of the Elderlings (the book is dedicated to Hobb in particular), the Dragonriders of Pern, Tad Williams, Lynn Flewelling, Robert Jordan, Mercedes Lackey, Tamora Pierce, etc. But I wanted to give it a more modern twist. I'm NB and growing up I didn't see a lot of queerness in fantasy, and I clung to the examples I did find (Vanyel, the Fool). Also, not 90s fantasy, but I also freaking loved Seraphina by Rachel Hartman and Priory of the Orange Tree, so those were influences too.

You're not put off by Worldbuilding(TM) and a slower pace. Probably because I grew up on the likes of Tad Williams, I honestly love slow-paced fantasy. I love to luxuriate in a world and take my time getting to know a made up world. In Assassin's Quest it takes over 100 pages for Fitz to leave the forest. Love it. I have a more lyrical writing style, I guess, and I'm pretty descriptive. My stuff always tends to start off slower, set the stage, and then ramps up the pace as we get further along. So yes, my book starts out with some infodumping, depending on your tolerance level of that sort of thing. I worked with a linguist and they made a conlang for the dragon language (hi @seumasofur). There's a map by Deven Rue (cartographer for Critical Role). I got nerdy.

You love queernorm fantasy! This is set in a world where it's considered rude to assume a stranger's gender and so you tend to default to they/them. If you consider someone much higher in status than you, you'd capitalise it to the honorific, such as They/Them. Once you get to know someone, you tend to flash your pronouns to them with a hand signal, since a sign language called Trade is also a lingua franca in the world. 99.95% of all the dragons are also lesbians, BTW. Everen is the last male dragon.

You like frankly silly levels of slow burn. Everen and Arcady can't physically touch without it causing Everen pain while they're half-bonded. They may or may not find creative loopholes. But it's not mega mega spicy, if you're expecting that. I expect the spice levels will gradually go up as the series progresses.

Alright, I think that's more than enough to give you a sense of what you'd find in Dragonfall. If you're open to sharing this post so it reaches more people outside of my little corner of the internet, I'd really appreciate it. Whenever I do any bit of self-promo, I'm always so anxious and worry it'll get like, 2 eyeballs on it anyway or that I'm just annoying people by mentioning that my art even exists. And if you end up liking it, please tell a friend.

I'm loving the recent dragon renaissance! Long live dragons.

[cardboardfisher]

~ The Red Thread ~

A mildly dysfunctional, incredibly gay, DnD party gathering at the local tavern for lunch.

[mistyriousness]

The Sonic the Hedgehog IDW Crew and their unrequited(?) crushes

aka Imposter Syndrome has been my guilty pleasure lately, and there will never be enough fanart out there of it, so I decided to toss some doodles of my own into the pile

[rustbeltbabey]

boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.

[solitarelee]

It's so hard to find good mlm groups to be in (hint I don't mean multi level marketing) both bc group chats in general devolve into toxic power hierarchies basically immediately, and bc all of us being gay is one of the least useful grouping tools of all time unless we're here to like, date. I want to have a place I can relax and be A Gay Man and Make Gay Man Jokes And References and have people get it without immediately yes and-ing it into something more relevant to them! I do! It's very relaxing! But at the end of the day deadass it's a roll of the dice to see if we have anything more in common than that. Like yeah we're both gay but you're from Florida and your special interest is firearms. Yeah we're both gay but you think writing YA is a sex crime. We have NOTHING but our background urge to suck each other off!

I just need to find a group that's only gay Jewish men and hope that narrows the pool enough that we're actually similar enough to exist nearby without me wanting to stab them.

[fiendishartist2]

thinking about my christmas party slay.....

[saltedsolenoid]

kin assign me a together in hell character please i am looking at you blinking rapidly please pleaase please

(elaboration in tags)

[niceandbluept2]

[inhumanfuckingdogman]

maybe its not queercoding TO YOU. I get it though

[dark-nekofear]

wym the embarassing secrets I keep under lock & key are transmasc stereotypes 👁👄👁

[almightaylor]

My favorite rwrb movie moments: firstprince comforting each other

HENRY CALMING ALEX THROUGH HIS ANXIETIES:

“I know that you are not an imposter”

When alex said that he’s scared he’s gonna let his mom down on the campaign and henry tells alex that he's having an imposter syndrome. Henry validates alex’s emotions but at the same time counters his negative thoughts.

“Trust me you’re in good hands”

In their first time, since alex is obviously new to the gay sex thing, henry makes him feel comfortable and guides him the whole time and let’s alex set the pace.

“I’m learning”

When alex talked about his family background, his father, and being a latin person in the US, henry listens to him very attentively with such empathy and understanding in his eyes. And that little shoulder kiss!

“I’ll ask it then”

When alex tried to ask why henry must maintain the royal image and him getting shut down by the king, being told that he's part of the problem and not the solution. Then henry immediately asks the question for alex.

“Breathe, Alex”

Alex’s biggest fear: letting his mom down, and henry knows this by heart since the very beginning. Henry tries to calm alex down bc he knows how it feels like and seeing alex getting stressed pains him too.

ALEX BEING PATIENT WITH HENRY'S TRAUMAS:

“I’ll be as patient as you need”

When alex tried to hold henry’s hand in the garden and when he tried to kiss him goodbye at the airstrip and both times henry refused. Alex handles both situations with such gentleness and respect for henry.

Mentions of Arthur Fox

Alex has always sympathized with henry and his late dad ever since they were still enemies. When he asked henry if he ever had his heart broken and henry responds with his dad’s death then alex proceeds to hold henry's hand.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Alex looking out for henry's introverted self the whole night bc he can see that loud parties are not henry’s thing. Like he just wants to make the night perfect for henry and even follows him outside when henry disappears from his sight.

Henry’s avoidant attachment style

Alex keeps pushing through henry’s ghosting phases, the perseverance and patience that he has for henry is so consistent. He’s so stubbornly in love with henry and he always tries to tell him that they can fight for their love.

“Hey, they still love you”

When henry is drowning in negative thoughts after the leak, alex is there to soothe henry from the turmoil inside his head (similar to alex’s texas campaign anxiety and henry reassuring him) they become the light for each other when one is stuck in the dark.

(I’m kinda tearing up while typing this, my love for them extends through fucking dimensions and universes i love my little love drunk pookies so much! That’s all)

[sincerelystesichorus]

let's talk about that one scene in oops

(and fizzarolli in general bc me and my autism r obsessed with this scene and haven't seen someone break it down. also ft. blitz lmao)

just a general scene and vague character breakdown/analysis!

i first of all want to admire the perfect representation of best friends to enemies with blitz & fizz because ugh.

And like Blitz tells everyone this but the way it's so malicious here. Just the perfect simple dig and Fizz's little shit eating grin because it delivered how he knew it would sdfkjsdkf. Shoves Blitz to the side because really that's all he cares to say. Fuck you and what you did to me, bye bye <3 Fizz is so for talking shit and dipping (House of Asmodeus) I love how messy it is but also shows how he really doesn't hold malice for Blitz otherwise. Obviously we see this front and center later in the episode once they start reconnecting, but I like the subtlety and how he's so willing to snap at Blitz despite his usual anxiety with confrontation.

Blitz also knowing exactly what to say to really piss Fizz off once things escalate <3

(Fizz literally so smug and content with himself lmfao)

(smirk wiped off bc hey that's the thing i'm sensitive about!!)

But Fizz keeps his composure. And if you'll let me be alarmingly gay for a second, I love how his version of keeping his cool as a messy gay is managing to basically recreate this drag race confrontation in what is probably my favorite set of Fizzie lines.

eat him up babes. also it's so important that that shitty coffee and fizz were on this side of the street for framing i'll talk about it more in a sec jfskjdfksf.

and now my personal favorite exchange of this entire scene that is criminally underrated imo:

love his face after this line. I SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLES WRONGS sfjdlkfsdd. literally so fucking nasty with his clown wit but also so justifiable because yeah blitz did just pull this nightmare and dip in fizz's pov. i cannot wait for that to get touched on more likeeee why were they kept apart ugh.

and finally!!

this cut to blitz,, specifically the scarred side of his face is sooo good.

the face of a man who just achieved critical vicious mockery vs. the face of a man that knows he can only win this interaction one way now

Blitz does deserve a little violence maybe <3 Fizz underestimated his ass jjdkfsdlk.

Idk I just love how indicative this whole interaction is for their characters but especially Fizz, it's a perfect build-up for him. Fizz has major imposter syndrome with dual layers because of general haters but especially because of Mammon and Asmodeus. Not on any fault of Ozzie's,, we just see Fizz obviously thinks he isn't fully deserving of their relationship/his situation and the healthy dynamics of it and so do most major news outlets apparently askjfsk.

(full fizzy meme post & also i like how this is a special also like damn do u think they were also apart of the crossword??)

It'll be really interesting to see how his character develops in future episodes because I feel like a lot of what I've rambled about here has come to a resolution after 2 Minutes Notice in the musical special lmao. I really like how here when he goes to compose himself, this is how he does it.

Makes me wonder how many times him and Ozzie have had the self-worth and imposter syndrome conversation before it finally stuck in the Mammon Musical Special. I just love their relationship and how they compliment one another,, and how it projects into Fizz's other relationships because they're healthy for one another. Love my OTP love Blitz & especially love Fizzie. Obviously.

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

yknow we do a lot of like stevie realising she's transfem bc of a dare or like robin telling her about queer stuff and having a 'you can do that?' moment, but now im thinking of stevie who figures it out entirely on her own and doesn't know how to tell anyone. like she doesn't fully have the words and even with robin it's like. one thing to be gay but gender stuff is a whole other level and she has no idea where she stands on that

but like, stevie who used to play with his mothers makeup as a child, whose parents would laugh at his antics until he got too old to be so childish, time to act like a Real Boy. and every time he's supposed to act like One Of The Boys he thinks of how it felt when his mom would do his hair for him and comment on how alike they looked, and how much better that felt, and he knows that isn't normal, and he has to be normal

but after the upside down that really seems to matter less. nothings fucking normal anymore, why should steve be? so she starts branching out a little. breaks into her mothers closet again, tries on all the clothes she left behind when she went on her latest trip. slowly amasses a decent collection of makeup by going to several different stores over the course of months with the excuse of 'oh my mom/girlfriend sent me to pick up x'. she doesn't do the Whole Deal often, in case nancy comes over or later in case the kids suddenly ask her to drive them somewhere. doesn't do anything that can't be removed in like three seconds. and she's definitely never telling anyone about this. she doesn't know anyone who would understand.

after starcourt, she wonders about telling robin sometimes. like sure, stevie doesn't like men but she's still like. some kind of queer. robins the only other queer person she knows (and yeah, robin turning her down bc she was only into girls did sort of hurt, but it wasn't robins fault bc she didn't know, and also it turned out stevie just didn't understand what actual friendship felt like so it was for the best anyway), so if she can't tell robin who can she tell?

but something always stops her. robins technically never done anything that makes stevie think she'd be mean about it, but there's something like imposter syndrome keeping her mouth closed. like she's not the right kind of queer. like robins being queer the good and honest way and stevies just being some kind of freak. and yeah, she knows it's dumb to think like that and robin would call her a dingus if she said it out loud, but it sits pretty heavy in her heart

so it's not until after vecna, when stevies on the eddie shift in the hospital and eddie says, while high on possibly every drug in the world, 'man i spent all that time trying to grow my tits and bats ate an entire boob in under five minutes' and stevie goes ??? what???? and eddie, still too high to self-censor, makes some comment like yeah they weren't huge but that black market estrogen i got was finally working its magic, definitely had like an a-cup. rest in peace. and stevies like why were you growing boobs?? 'bc girls are supposed to have boobs, man, keep up'

and eddie passes out again like five seconds later, but stevie just sits there watching her snore with her heart about to beat out of her chest because. holy shit. she's not the only one. eddie might understand, might be able to help her, if she was able to grow her own boobs. stevie would love to grow her own boobs. she'd stuffed some socks down a bra once and they looked lumpy as hell but even just the suggestion of a bust had almost brought her to tears.

and suddenly, looking at the sleeping form of the first person stevie has ever met that she's ever had this so intrinsic thing in common with, everything doesn't seem so scary

[whiskersz]

Hi, could I request a gender-fluid reader who’s masc aligned but feels insecure bc they like wearing stuff/presenting fem a lot and feels imposter syndrome when they are fem aligned once in a blue moon, especially bc some people were transphobic to them and made some jabs about their relationship not being genuine or that no one would want them bc of it with Husk and Angel separately?

Sorry for the word vomit, thanks and hope you have a nice day :)

Hey!! This has been in my inbox for a while, because I wasn’t sure what to write exactly since I didn’t want to do it in the wrong way. Hope headcanons are okay, and while I’m of the opinion that anyone can date anyone (as long as it’s legal) I still informed myself on what some GF people experience in relationships, since Angel is Gay :)

Angel Dust

Angel doesn’t like people dictating on how you two should live your relationship at all.

He knows very well that he fell for your masc-aligned side and you guys discussed this many times, with you reassuring him that it’s okay if he doesn’t feel as attracted to you when you’re feeling more fem-aligned.

You guys also discussed your preferences in regard to how your partner dresses and when it came out that there’s next to none and both of you are free to wear anything you like, you both immediately felt way more comfortable in the relationship.

So he highly dislikes when random individuals try to convince you or him that your relationship is not genuine and that you’re not deserving of love, and he will outright insult them and get into fights with them if these comments are being spewed in hearing distance.

Back at the Hotel he definitely reassures you that he does want you as a partner with a kiss and some cuddles, and if he needs to he’ll even list all the reasons why he’s attracted to you again for you to hear.

He’ll also remind you that he loves you and how stylish you are, and will even offer to lend you some of his clothes if one day you want to feel particularly pretty, as he owns a lot of fem things, and in case you’re not the same size some of them are even pretty oversized so you should find something that fits you either way.

I Headcanon that Angel would probably own some pride stuff, so he would definitely get some for you as well to remind you that he’s your number one supporter!

Husk

Husk is honestly chill with dating anyone; it doesn’t matter what their gender and sexuality are, or how they dress, or what they like to eat for dinner on a Saturday night...if he likes you, he’s going to try and make his best impression and be all gentlemanly with you. He’s going to do things he wouldn’t do with anyone else such as cuddling and gifting you roses.

So if somebody calls your relationship not genuine, it doesn’t take him much to call them out on their bullshit and prove to them that it’s nothing of the sort.

He also highly despises when people are transphobic to you, and he will try to reason with them but this is Hell after all and he doesn’t expect to find many souls worth explaining this kind of thing to down there. So after a while he just leaves it and leads you elsewhere.

He absolutely loves the way you dress, when you get all pretty for him it makes his heart skip a beat. Same thing for when you try your best to look handsome; he will look at you up and down with a smirk that he can’t really hide.

In a relationship, Husk is very romantic and affectionate, so after he’s done dealing with the people who insulted your relationship he’s going to shower you in kisses accompanied by his deep purrs.

It’s very obvious though that you took those words to heart, so he’s also willing to take you out somewhere if you need your mind to get clear once again. He doesn’t want you to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol or anything like that as he does, so he’d rather spend time with you and slowly get you to trust his words instead of trusting theirs.

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

To add onto my FE6 remake take, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTLY NOT MAKE ROY A BETTER UNIT. His entire character point is that he is bad at fighting ! Gameplay-wise, he is suposed to be the king you escort to the finish line. Story-wise, it's an essential part of his character that feed into his imposter syndrom and his bad view of himself and make him standout from the rest of the lord in a very positive way

What they should change is making him an excellent support unit and giving him better rapier. Take Leif : stat-wise he is kind of a chump, but combine his good prf and the support he gives to half the cast and he is much better. Roy is the tactician of FE6, he is the guy ordering your unit around (this is why I'm strongly against the addition of Mark or any similar character when that firmly Roy role)

Anyway, I just hope the remake in ten years doesn't change too much. It's like the last game where sword are good, you can't just enemy phase using 1-2 weapons, four of the five fliers are not hilariously over the top, and you have to be a bit thoughtful about warp-skip.

I just don't want them to turn it into a modern game with reclassing when character classes are a vital part of their identity and have strong cultural ties. Or making it a skill fest and inflating the total stat and growth really hard when the game being a no additional flourish, raw tactical gameplay with lower statline is why I love it.

I just love FE6, love the sprite, love Roy and the large cast that is not just composed of teens and early 20s (there are five characters with kids, can you imagine it  ! ), and love the surprisingly dour tone of the game.

All it needs is some buff to the egregiously bad unit, music not constrained by GBA sound bank, rethinking the Gaiden chapter (yeah, those suck, point given FE6 hater), playable Guinivere and (gay) characters ending, and I'm good Any to conclud this ways too long rent, go play FE6. It difficulty is way overvalued in normal mode, the fan-translation is excellent, and you might be surprised by how different it feel (in a good way) compared to FE7

.

[fandomhype]

Plagiarism Somerton

I obviously didn't watch the new James Somerton apology video ON his channel because I did not want to give that man the views and you shouldn't either! It has been re-uploaded and summarised elsewhere so that he doesn't benefit if anyone wants to see it.

The original hbomberguy video was wild to me because of all the stealing, I found it highly entertaining, loved all the Memes and it honestly did my imposter syndrome wonders! but then I watched the Todd in the shadows video and it really upset me.

He didn't just steal from other LGBT creators he lied to his mostly young LGBT audiance who were looking to an elder gay for guidance and to learn about their history.

Todd's video starts with a clip of James lies being spread by another person on a podcast, there's clips of people discussing his made up gay nazi fanfic he has presented as hard facts. He actively harmed his own community for cash! There are young gay men bringing that subject up in conversation being laughed at for falling for it and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Now I'm not a part of that community but a lot of people I love are so that angered me a lot.

...and then he comes back with another apology video, conveniently within the three months he would have had to post something on his channel to retain his monetisation status weirdly?! In which he blames both a head injury and his ADHD for his theft - at no point does he address the lying in either apology video or any of the apology posts he made that I could find.

I have combined ADHD, when I was first diagnosed the NHS referred to it as ADD with Hyperactivity element but everyone seems to have gone back to calling it ADHD and that is the term used most commonly online so that is what I refer to it is as.

I am medicated but there has been a world wide shortage of my medication and I was without it for some time over winter, which was HELL! I got nothing done.

I am in no way a big creator, Youtube for me is a fun wee hobby that will hopefully grow and allow me to collaborate with other people with similar interests but ADHD is for sure a large part of my journey as a creator.

I've published like 7 videos and currently have around 10 being worked on because, you know... ADHD! *siren noises*

I know that I am forgetful sometimes, just for the record I also had several head injuries and concussions as a child because Lil undiagnosed at the time me truly had no fear of climbing or other dangerous activities so I have my script (because free talking a subject with this brain would be nearly impossible) open in one google doc and my research open in another. It's not hard.

That's the way it was at school, college and Uni too. James claims he went to Uni to do business. Every university uses anti-plagerism software for essays and has done since like the mid 2000's? so he knows not to copy pasta. He's straight up lying there.

Another thing he's lying about is his ADHD making him forget he copied things. Now if you tell me a joke that I like it'll stick in my head and I will straight up tell it as my own later, I've been called out for this many times! But entire articles? whole sections of other peoples videos? (he also flipped a fan Vid he had ripped off of another YouTube to avoid detection and tried to pass it off as his own) No that's not something you can accidentally do even with a swiss cheese brain like mine.

Weirdly all the the paragraphs James claims he accidentally copied were also edited to remove aspects of the Trans, Bi and Ace experiences that James markedly does not believe exist. Strange considering he accidentally copied them and assumed they were his own words? Imagine going back through a paragraph you think you wrote yesterday in the edit the next day and finding swarths of things you don't agree with there?!

Why am I telling you all this? Well because I wanted to put my two cents in as a creator with this condition, partly because I felt it was somewhat of an attack on us!? He's put it out there that ADHD creators are liable to steal from others and that's not ok by me. Also I just really like the sound of my own typing!

TL;DR : James Sommerton is a suck ass liar and he doesn't get to use his disability as an excuse for what he did! and...

****** ADHD DOES NOT MAKE YOU STEAL SHIT!!! ******

Also watch Todd's Vid, everyone saw the Hbomberguy one but this one goes deeper: